#and then maybe i wont forget things about things i enjoy!!!! bc my memory is bad lately LMAO

[feline-evil]

To try and make my memory issues less Annoying i'm going to start cataloguing what i watch and my opinions on said things, i forgot to do it fresh after watching these first few things but in the future ill try and do it more soon after. You can block the tag jay tv time if you wanna filter this out and not see it!

POST NUMBER ONE: THREE THINGS WATCHED IN JANUARY 2024

YURI ON ICE

I'd heard vaguely about this way back when on tumblr and hadn't had any interest at the time; this was back when i was more interested in getting involved in discourse than really taking any media recommendations from my peers around me lol, older days on tumblr were a dark time huh. Anyway, watched this with my boyfriend this year because i have an interest in ice dancing, i like the sport, i wanted to see some sports anime drama around it!

So, my opinion and review. The show's opening credits are nothing to write home about, very clean looking yeah but kind of bland in a sort of mid 2010's corporate fashion- the show itself though starts with a boatload of charm and a very likeable main lead! The atmosphere was charming and fun and bubbly, everything felt very cozy; LOVED our main leads internal little monologues with little diagrams, loved his family his mom is like peak platonic ideal of an anime mom, loved the tongue in cheek nature of it! Aaaand then we hit what i would call the lowest point for the show, and one that i fully understand if it would be a complete deal breaker for people. That's right folks, we get fatphobic comedy! Whoo. This isn't the WORST i've ever seen but in those first two episodes or so it was prevalent enough to have me rolling my eyes, feeling uncomfortable and saying yeah, if this continues on we might drop the show. If not for how charming the rest of the show was I'm sure we would have dropped it right then and there! But what i am glad to say is that yeah, it drops off; of course it comes with the caveat that it only drops with the main lead losing the weight he was being mocked for, SIGH, but it at least started to feel less like we were going to have to sit through endless weird attitudes towards NORMAL WEIGHTS FOR A GODDAMN HUMAN BODY TO BE, and more like 'oh yeah these hardcore professionals in these fields have shitty attitudes towards bodies. That makes sense. Wish we didn't have to linger on it still because i dislike it thoroughly.' So anyway. Moving onto the next episodes the show really started to pick up for me and got me invested in the ice dancing; while a lot of characters come and go during the lead up to and the competition itself i found so many of them likeable and charming that i was rooting for them each time they took to the ice! I adored the 'rival' of sorts, fifteen year old yuri (not the titular one, different yuri) and we were cheering him on a lot; he's just a little angry kid that loves cats and wants to be the best!!! We wanted him to do good and have fun!!! And we found we were rooting like this for so many people, really feeling the vibe of watching a sport you enjoy and feeling the love for the art of it all.

Now speaking of art i will say i found myself not always totally in love with the animation during the skate segments; this show is really pretty looking for sure and certainly TONS of hardwork went into it so i don't wish to say anything against that- i don't even know if there IS a better way to animate this but. Well on occasion it felt as if the background slid at the wrong speed or angle or direction and didn't fully match the figures skating, making some of the speed and elegance of ice dance evaporate. A lot of animation also felt a little reused, a lot of the same motion being done with little variance aside from what the commentary dialogue says over top, but again i respect a ton of hardwork no doubt went into this and i'm sure animating competitive ice dancing is a daunting task so i'm not making any statements against effort or skill on part of the animators!! Just stating that i myself wasn't too taken with the animation during these segments.

Of course, at its core, what yuri on ice is really about is a blooming relationship; and oh my god. Okay so i'm kind of used to things tumblr called gay back in the day being....mmmm metaphorical, subtextual. Sometimes even not gay at all. So i wasn't prepared for how openly gay this was! There is clear romantic and sexual intent shown from JUMP, it is not shied away from nor shown as something to be demonized or to bring doom on the characters they are just Gay. Like REALLY gay. And maybe you're going 'well duh of course' but hey. I didn't grow up watching anything with gay characters or people in it, i still am not used to seeing open and happy gay people in media. Its still fresh to me! And it makes me happy! I don't know how they got this show to be SO gay, i would be surprised at something gaining mainstream popularity with 'THEY STRAIGHT UP GET ENGAGEMENT RINGS' level of gay nowadays never mind back then so i'm just sort of taken aback! That's cool!! That's still new to me!!

Now my overall review is: This show is a good fluffy watch, nothing too complex or complicated, might not blow your socks off but if you want something feel-good it's worth a try! Obviously with the understanding that if those first few episodes leave too bad a taste in your mouth i compleeetely understand and would not begrudge anyone switching off at that point, you'd be well within your rights because good lord we didn't need that put in. But yeah! Show's gay! Show's got ice dancing! Someone should take Yuri Plisetsky to the rainforest cafe!!!

DUNGEON MESHI

OK SO THIS WILL BE A SHORTER REVIEW BECAUSE WE HAVE ONLY SEEN ONE EPISODE VERSUS YURI ON ICE BEING A FULL SEASON, ALSO DO NOT FUUUUCKING SPOIL DUNMESHI STUFF MY BOYFRIEND HAS READ THE MANGA BUT I HAVENT.

Dungeon meshi is something i've known about for ages and known that i'd like, but i also knew it had a plotpoint adjacent to something that (genuinely depending on the day, its like a damn coin toss) can squick me out OR trigger me a bit, SO! I'd never read it, which i know is a damn shame! But my boyfriend really wanted to watch the first episode of the new dunmeshi anime and i really really wanted to watch with him and i'm really glad i did because it is SO good. It is so fun and witty and bursting with charm, every character is so likeable and it feels like you've known them forever from jump they settle so easily within your fondness for them! I adore how much they do not shy away from Laios being a very passionate weirdo, i love that the guy who is pretty much our main lead in our cast is. A PECULIAR MAN WHO YOU JUST REALLY CAN'T HELP BUT HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR. I've been this man before, the guy who's really into something nobody else gets!! I get it Laios i get it! Marcille Chilchuck and Senshi are all absolute delights too and each has their personality show vibrantly different from each other, feeling like individuals all with so much to like about them all; Marcille as the person to constantly be unsure about the CLEARLY PECULIAR THINGS THEY ARE DOING is especially great!! Not only is this show a romp so far but it looks DIVINE, the animation knows exactly when detail and motion is needed and when a minimalist approach is needed to sell a gag; each character is rendered PERFECTLY from manga to anime, they are translated over with an expert touch that loses none of their charm- and according to my boyfriend this anime is a very straight forward adaptation, beat by beat following the way things are laid out in the manga's panels the way they are presented within that medium, and that's SO cool to me that they're managing to make precise things that worked so well on paper work just as well in motion! I can't say too much about this story-wise or plot related just now as again, we've only seen the one episode, but it has left me hungry for more and really excited to watch the rest of it, and that's fantastic!! PONYO

Oh wow this is three for three animated entries for the jay tv time list; not intentional but that's pretty cool co-ordination! Animated January..... ANYWAY!

CAN YOU BELIEVE I HADN'T SEEN PONYO YET! I've seen Spirited away and My Neighbour Totoro, but this was my first time watching Ponyo and ohhhhh my god it's wonderful. Every character is a joy, the world around them looks gorgeous, its all so sweet and nice and aaaaaaa Sometimes small kids can be. Grating in movies, or the plot can be moved along in ways that are annoying to watch a toddler progress through, but not with this movie; the kids are SO cute, Sasuke is such a sweet lil kid and Ponyo is so fun- also the line early on at the daycare where the one lil girl says 'you don't have a job you're FIVE!' KILLS ME! This movie portrays little kids in a way that never crosses into the annoying small child thing that a lot of movies can do; and that's not all it does right! It's conflict never feels contrived or irritating, it always flows nice, it's characters never feel boxed into Bad or Good everyone is just a person trying to do what's right, the world never feels Too hostile or Too cosy it just feels nice and balanced! It's a joy to watch it really is, it's not a complex nor complicated tale but it doesn't need to be, its a movie to watch when you want to have a big happy smile on your face; it makes you want to clap and go yayyy!!!! So often because you love what's happening so much! Sasuke's mom is SO FUCKING GOOD. Spoke about platonic ideal of anime mom earlier but Sasuke's mom takes the award for Coolest mom; she's driving fast and furious, she never once judges Ponyo for being a fishy, she's cool!! Ponyo's dad is equally good, i love a well meaning man who just can't help but come across as a Total Weird Asshole because he is just so much of a tired grumpy mess; and i love that he's not portrayed as evil or mean, just protective and misguided in places but ultimately just as kind as everyone else in this movie! And that's something i really appreciate, so much kindness flows through this movie, so much love for your fellow man (or fish); the community feels like a community because of it, families feel like families because of it. Kindness is so wonderful and the kind of kind, gentle understanding in Ponyo makes it's characters come alive! The final moments when Sasuke accepts Ponyo makes so much sense, he's a sweet lil five year old, he doesn't have any prejudice engrained in him, he likes his fishy friend!! And the world is saved by that!! And isn't that just delightful! Also hey if we may get unprofessional Sasuke and Ponyo's moms had a little something going on between them, i think they could've had a lil something something. I'm just saying. I also love Ponyo's dad SO Much. I couldn't fix him but. well. nay, i shan't say. ANYWAY!!! REALLY GOOD, SWEET MOVIE! Definitely one i'll revisit on days when i want a nice sweet pick me up! It's gorgeous, it's heartwarming; oh my god and the ANIMATION!! THE ANIMATION! Every frame a delight, i appreciate so much of how well done the creatures of the sea are and how much are filled into every scene, making it feel bustling and alive, i appreciate how unafraid to make Ponyo look WEIRD they are it really adds to the charm, and the animation in general is just so perfect, its a work of art... I REALLY ENJOYED THIS MOVIE! AND I THINK THAT'S IT FOR NOW, STAY TUNED FOR UH. MORE THINGS I WATCH I GUESS.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

Rogue thoughts and reactions--->

not taking many notes this time cause i wanted to Savour this one tbh and what a blast so far

rogue and doctor so far is like. rtd striking gold potentially here (i kno he didnt write this one i mean more like. in the long run. i could see fans going crazy over this Type of ship and spending sweet $$$$ on it lol).

ruby looking at this "scene" like it's a tv show………. live…….. honey u best believe in ghost stories hyper post-modern genre tv show seasons cause u are in one

cushy… wordsmiths-ing count…

"ruby: you know how i forget about a man?" with a woman? (shot)

the parallel of these guys "dishonoring" these ppl while the doc and ruby do kind of the same all the time sdkflj

mmm second time i see a triangle logo (it was there last ep on the door to the MEP area that lindsey and rickey ran into. camera held on suspiciously long on it…) (triangles…. three…. susan TRIAD???)

doctor this says you're single and available. oh another word. "very" available.

COME ON ACE WE HAVE WORK TO DO

"wow" boner dialogue

mention of gallifrey.... "i might take you one day" oh man. oh man………..

"random barren dimension" yes this is not an equivalent to a silent confinement analogue at all don't think about it too hard guys

"i lost everyone"

they're leaning on……………. oh yaz just broke a coffee mug somewhere

maybe the real enemy was fandom all along

THOSE TV SIGNALS BEAM OUT ACROSS THE STARS. TV SIGNALS. TV SIGNALS. TV ISNGALS TV

SIGNASLKDJASLKDJASKLJ1!!SKLFDJDSLKJFSDLK JF SHUT UPTJSDLFKSDJ (i die)

ok im enjoying The Concept a lot, as expected…….. but gotta say rogue does feel a bit two dimensional so far :/ (maybe even a bit cliche?) i feel jack in his first ep had more depth at first for example (bounty hunter but also lost his memory. doing amoral things but being swayed by the doctor at the end. etc). but there's time THERE'S TIME. DONT LE TME DOWN EPISODE PLEA SE. there's always a twist-

you people and your bridgetons. in my time this would all be a big ass downtown abbey reference

sad thing is this is def one episode i wont be able to watch with my homophobic parents at all oof lmao

this dialogue.... kinda thoschei acadamy years coded ngl

"tell me what your heart wants or i shall turn my back on your forever" defining 15 character dialogue……….

(commitment phobe doctor moment. my girl hastn changed at ALL) (btw intrigued by rogue's "i lost them" bc it could mean a lot right. it's the most delibarely ambiguous of pronouns dklfjsd like it could be a nonbinary character but could also be a couple characters? or maybe im reading it wrong sdlkjf)

play our games on a magnificent scale…………… games motif……….

"i thought i was interesting- but you??" exactly!!! doctor who>>>>>>>> bridgerton/all other tv shows. case made.

god i feel so stupid. i dint catch that twist at all TOT

wedding season finale. chuldur's know where it's at.

oh finally there's the scene from the trailers!!!!!!!!!

"how long do they live for?" oh he's gonna says A Thing "thats a long time to suffer" I WASN'T WRONG /GOES FERAL ( i knew the family of blood coding was leading somewhere…)

the doctor beatiing these cosplayers with his "i object" tv tropyness……….. the meta of it……… theory gang we're gonna make it yet i swear

ok yes this is sad poor ruby but like. but literally last month 14 killed/sacrificed donna w/o sm hesitation so sdklfjdsklfjsdklfj (yes im still like. HEY THAT WAS A SIGNIFICANT THING THAT HAPPENED. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT.)

oh is rogue a chuldur as well? he feels too invested in the trolley problem of it all sdlkfj

im gonna say it.... i thought that resolution was kinda........ as the kids say..... weak sauce sfkdj

like oh nooo he got teleported oh noooo. like he's gonna be fine slkdfjsd didn't really hit that hard :/ should have had a proper death sacrifice thing.

"im sorry....." "....AAAANYWAY , it is what it is!!!! " my man is so broken holy shit. holy shit.

it's ok to be sad. !!!!! TOT

CONCLUSIONS!!

sdlkjf ya'll i really wanted this to harder but idk i didnt feel the depth or sensibility this called for was there tbh. but it was a blast!!! but … it missed a bit of that x factor thing. like some kind of universality to the romance w/ the rogue. i feel he was too sketched-in.... i was also a bit disappointed that ruby's friend was not her friend bc it meant her whole thing this ep of connecting to that woman was for nothing (and up until that point it was feeling very Important specially after the marti thing) (and speaking of, the chuldur's were kinda very sketched-in / surface-level as villains as well) … yeah. idk. kinda disappointing ngl (diodati > this i think). pretty fucking gay tho so that was nice.

[macarensesangles]

anyway SHADOWBRINGERS SPOILERS SHADOWBRINGERS MAJOR FUCKING TURBO SPOILERS MEGA SPOILS ERIN LEO EMILE DON’T READ THIS POST UNTIL YOU FINISH THE EXPANSION ANY OF YOU I MEAN IT

the way i am #coping is by simply enjoying the Out MSQ gave me. the lovely complicating factor canon bequeathed into my hands.

emet-selch is from amaurot and was in the convocation of fourteen before zodiark was summoned and then hydaelyn was summoned and kicked zodiark’s ass. this is known. the WoL is basically azem reincarnated, also from the convocation of fourteen, with a few fragments of their original soul missing from the whole. so, emet-selch knew them. it is canon they shared some kind of friendship.

i DID spoil myself bc this dynamic really fascinated me as soon as i figured out what was up and i was like “OMG was i right are they going to address this holy shit.” anyway yes i was right and not ONLY that, when azem walked out rather than help summon zodiark, they were considered a traitor to the convocation and shunned, but emet-selch recorded their memories In Secret anyway.

so i am REALLY into the idea that emet-selch and azem were some kind of item back in the day. emet-selch clearly recognizes that pfeil used to be azem/has his soul, so there’s still some lingering affection, but pfeil ALSO has pesky habits like Not Being Azem, Interfering With Rejoinings, and Killing Ascians On Purpose. so i think emet-selch ping-pongs rapidly between “oh god i’m still in love with him” and “I WANT TO SQUASH THIS LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER LIKE A GAY BUG.” fully torn between romantic love and full-on passionate loathing. it’s not healthy :)

pfeil is really slow on the uptake also lol. he has the vague feeling that emet-selch is “better” than other ascians (he’s really just remembering being friends with him but kind of subconsciously) so he has difficulty deciding whether or not he should be more trusting or if he should hate him on principle. the garlean empire thing doesn’t help. i think once he finds out about what happened to amaurot he has more sympathy, and when the pieces fall together about his former self he(mis)remembers that he was friends with emet-selch and is like MAYBE I CAN FIX HIM. WE WERE BROS HE’LL LISTEN TO ME! IT’S NOT TOO LATE!

claiming to remember everything only to aggressively friendzone emet-selch does NOT exactly go over well lmao, so everything still goes how it did in canon otherwise. except i think in his death scene they have a bit of a michaelangelo’s pieta moment and he’s like HUGUUUUU ;-; and touches pfeil’s face. and he says his line of course and pfeil is like I WONT FORGET I PROMISE. very touching, emotional

i’m thinking pfeil does not at any point figure out the romantic angle. he’s not the most emotionally intelligent person

[rowaning]

The Complete Fiction of HP Lovecraft rated by me, someone who read them all* but has a terrible memory

The Beast in The Cave: uh a guy goes on a cave tour and finds a creature that was like a human that got lost and adapted to its surroundings. 0/10 just because im pretty sure there was another one with this exact premise and neither of them were memorable at all.

The Alchemist: dude achieves immortality and lives in the narrators basement and has pledged to murder his entire lineage or something. 4/10 the alchemy stuff was actually kind of interesting

The Tomb: im pretty sure this is the one where a guy starts hanging out in a tomb and like travels back in time/becomes one of his ancestors? 5/10 if its the one im thinking of i did enjoy reading it

Dagon: guy lands on a mysterious island with signs of a long dead civilization. 1/10 i do not remember what happened in it

A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson: 0/10 i have no memory of this

Polaris: also 0/10 i forgot all about it

Beyond the Wall of Sleep: could be any of the dream focused ones. if its the one about the dude sailing into the void or whatever than 4/10 not too bad

Memory: ironically, i dont remember it. 0/10

Old Bugs: 1/10 for the title god i wish i remembered this one

The Transition of Juan Romero: i got nothing. 0/10

The White Ship: this might also be the one about the dude sailing into the void? i liked that one he lived in a lighthouse and boarded a dream ship and just fucking left it was fun. 4/10

The Street: uh i think really steep street that didnt actually exist. 3/10

The Doom that Came to Sarnath: i wanna say another one of the dream centered ones where a town discovers some old relics and blatantly disrespects them and gets exactly whats coming to it. 5/10 they deserved what they got

The Statement of Randolph Carter: ok this dude shows up several times. i think this one is about how he returns to his childhood home then travels back in time and creates a time loop paradox thing. 1/10 meh

The Terrible Old Man: uh some thieves harrass a weird old guy and get got. 5/10

The Cats of Ulthar: someone is mean to a cat in a dream city, all of the rest of the cats get revenge and are revered for the rest of time. 2/10 (-3 because lovecraft has a specific name he gives to apparently every fictional and real cat he encounters and wow i wish he hadn't)

The Tree: i feel like this is something to do with a person becoming a tree but i cant actually remember. 0/10

Celephais: yeah no i got nothing 0/10

The Picture in the House: also nothing 0/10

The Temple: nope 0/10

Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: is this the one where the dude's great grandfather married an ape? i dont think so but im not sure. 0/10, -5/10 if it is that one cause that one was especially shitty

From Beyond: nope 0/10

Nyarlathotep: charismatic dude shows up and is like get in bitches we're going to the void. i love nyarlathotep cause hes the one who directly interacts with humanity and like wears a human suit or whatever so hes just some dude whos like hey im gonna feed you to azathoth 5/0

The Quest of Iranon: got nothing 0/10

The Music of Erich Zann: narrator makes friends with an old musician whos being hunted by supernatural forces. 2/10 because i remember it but it was just ok

Ex Oblivione: 1/10 for the title but i have no clue what it was about

Sweet Ermengarde: lovecraft's sole attempt at comedy. not to my taste like at all 0/10

The Nameless city: nope 0/10

The Outsider: also nope 0/10

The Moon-Bog: sounds cool, dont remember it. 0/10

The Other Gods: dude tries to find the gods of humanity where they live on a big mountain, actually finds them, is immediately smited by the Other Gods who protect the gods of humanity. 3/10 he deserved it

Azathoth: dont recall, 0/10

Herbert West- Reanimator: Arkham man Herbert West and his assistant ressurect the dead with little thought to the consequences, then get murdered by a band of said resurrected dead. 5/10

Hypnos: nope 0/10

What the Moon Brings: also nope 0/10

The Hound: still nope 0/10

The Lurking Fear: again, nope 0/10

The Rats in the Walls: dude returns to his ancestral home, hears rats, excavates the basement and finds out that his ancestors ate human flesh, eats his friend. 1/10 it was an interesting read but can lovecraft please stop calling cats that.

The Unnameable: no clue 0/10

The Festival: nope 0/10

*Under the Pyramids: ok im pretty sure this is the one with houdini which is the only one i could not read. i went into this mentally prepared for lovecraft's bigotry but i was not mentally prepared for him dropping harry houdini, avid skeptic who absolutely would have beat the shit out of him for this, into the middle of his super racist paranormal horror. -1000/10

The Shunned House: nope 0/10

The Horror at Red Hook: also nope 0/10

He: cool title, no memory of the story. 0/10

In the Vault: wow im bad at this. 0/10

Cool Air: still no 0/10

The Call of Cthulhu: kind of all over the place, there was a thing about artists and then a thing about a cop investigating a cult. 3/10 meh but ill give it a bonus for being a staple of horror fiction.

Pickman's Model: uh artist sees some wild shit and draws it and then it eats him. 2/10 i forget the details

The Strange High House in the Mist: if this is the one im thinking of, dude does a dangerous climb to find a mysterious house and meet the inhabitant who is kind of interdimensional and also being hunted by interdimensional things. also maybe the house eats people? 2/10

The Silver Key: another Randolph Carter one, and i think this is actually the one about him travelling back in time so idk what the other one was. 3/10

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath: randolph carter goes on a quest in the dream world to find the gods of humanity and ask why they wont let him check out this cool city he can see from his window. lots of action and very wordy and went a lot of different places. 4/10 good read but extremely xenophobic

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: guy investigates his ancestor who looks disturbingly like him, ancestor comes back to life and kills him and takes his place and a bunch of other stuff happens. mostly a dramatized genealogical study. 3/10 not bad, very suspenseful

The Colour Out Of Space: meteor lands on a farm, scientists get weirded out by it, everything in the area gets weird then dead, alien thing gets enough power from draining nearby life-forms to escape earth. fun twist ending. 4/10 bonus for being one of the better ones, detraction for writing out a 'rural accent'

The Descendant: nope, 0/10

The Very Old Folk: nope again, 0/10

History of the Necronomicon: very dry. fake history of lovecraft's fake book thats super important to a lot of the stories. 0/10

The Dunwich Horror: isolated witchy family has a kid who no one likes that grows up real fast. graphic descriptions of renovation. a horror gets unleashed on the area and the local folklore scholars have to deal with it. 1/10 nothing good enough to counter the xenophobia

Ibid: i remember this one. no idea what it's deal was. pseudo-bibliography? it was weird. 0/10

The Whisperer in Darkness: guy has a correspondance with another guy about local folk legends based on evil crab things. other guy gets straight up replaced by an evil crab thing and first guy doesnt even notice. imagine if you followed up on a scam email and didnt realize anything was up until you saw that the face of the dude you were talking to in person was a mask. 4/10 for the comedy this guy would not last in the internet age at all

At The Mountains of Madness: guy whines about penguins and how awful it would be if there were civilizations that predated humanity. also commits grave desecration. i get hit by the realization that if lovecraft was less of a racist coward he wouldve made a great speculative sci fi author. 3/10 i would love to watch that old asshole get absolutely torn to shreds by the monster fucker community

The Shadow over Innsmouth: Fish People! Leave Them Alone! Or Else! 5/10 the protagonist gets to live the dream by escaping human society and becoming an immortal fish person

The Dreams in the Witch House: dude rents an objectively haunted room, doesnt listen to people trying to help him, gets murdered by a weird rat. later they find a shit ton of bones in the attic. 2/10 meh

Through The Gates of the Silver Key: Randolph Carter transcends time and space, then de-transcends time and space and immediately gets stuck on another planet in the distant past, makes a long and difficult journey back to earth to find that his estate is being divided amongst his heirs. the comedy potential of a man stuck in an alien body dealing with a legal system that has declared him dead is not examined. 2/10

The Thing on the Doorstep: narrator's good friend marries a fish person witch who steals his body. thats basically it. 3/10. at this point im like wow these narrators really refuse to believe the heavily foreshadowed supernatural explanations that turn out to be correct huh.

The Evil Clergyman: dude is in a room. some ghosts (?) show up. dude has a UV light for some reason. Gets his face stolen i guess and just has to live with it. 5/10 for being absolutely buck wild and refusing to explain anything

The Book: nope 0/10

The Shadow Out Of Time: dude gets his body stolen by ancient scholar species. agonizes about it for a while. finds archaeological evidence of said species. finds a book he wrote while living with said species. almost gets eaten by something. 3/10 more cool speculative sci fi but lame protagonist

The Haunter of the Dark: you'd think id remember it bc this was the last one and i read it last night. oh wait, nvm i do remember it. dude finds an old box in a run down culty church and unleashes a horror that then comes and fucks him up. 1/10 meh.

[nadiineross]

Print: “How do you 'accidentally' achieve immortality?"

note: abt ur prompts.. i ….actually was planning a fic abt immortality but i dont think itll be done for ages so i slammed this one out. i also made a few posts abt superhero aus btw :’). i watched hercules for the first time in like a decade bc of ur other prompt and wow…. hades is still so funny DSJFHSKH ok anyway i prolly wont write a lot in the coming month bc semesters starting next week BUT i can type out some headcanons for prompts u give me, if u guys r interested in that?

i didnt proofread this and i dont want to because i am Lazy anyway thank u sm for continuing to talk to me abt chlodine yrs down the road. pls feel free to send in ur chlodine headcanons or if u jus wanna scream abt them

Nadine’s been alive for a long time, and so nothing really surprises her anymore. But, then again, Chloe is always her exception.

//

They first meet in India, only a passing thing. Being alive for so long, well, it gets boring. Nadine, also, could never really handle being purposeless. She enjoys having goals and working hard to achieve them, and she definitely enjoys the brief period, afterwards, where she relishes in those achievements.

It was easier, before, to find purpose: fighting. There were a lot of wars and Nadine was good at it. She was, and is, by all accounts, remarkable. However, to preserve her anonymity, she allows herself to dissolve into the unknowns of history.

She has had many names, most of which she has since forgotten. But, her first, she will not forget: Nadine. It is that name she gives to Chloe, and it is the one Chloe knows her by.

At that time, in India, she had nothing to do. It seemed the age of fighting as she knew it was coming to a close, and she grew bored.

Of course, this wasn’t a new experience; Nadine can hardly find anything she has not experienced. Usually, she travelled. She’s been to most places, but they were always changing, and this was something she appreciated on a deep level.

India, she has not visited in almost four decades.

On her first night, she eats a feast on her own. The restaurant owners were impressed, to say the least.

It is routine, her travels. During the day, she sees the sights, explores the places that have changed the most and visits those that she loved the last time she was here. When nightfalls, again, she feasts. Sometimes, when she isn’t too tired, she’ll take someone to bed.

This, she does rarely. It is, after all, hard to find a woman interested in other women in this world. Harder, even, to find one who isn’t interested in a long term investment, since Nadine is not very interested in the part where she outlives everyone. It isn’t a pressing issue, though. She has needs, sure, but she is patient, and sex did not fall very high on her list of priorities.

Besides, she understands. The consequences of being a woman like her are grave and not a lot of people would want to risk their lives for a fling.

Chloe is only her second in India.

There is a river, a half day’s walk away from where she’s staying. It is her second to last night in India, and there aren’t a lot of things she is itching to see, so she decides to make the walk.

By the time she gets there, the sun is hanging low in the sky, not yet set, but almost. She’s sweating from the heat and the oppressive humidity characteristic of the Indian climate. So, naturally, she unbuttons the first few buttons of her shirt and leans over the edge to splash water over her face.

It is a relief on her skin, and she looks up to gasp out a breath when she sees her. Chloe, shameless creature that she is, watches her.

Nadine doesn’t know how she didn’t notice the woman lounging in the water before now. Bewildered, Nadine blinks at her and feels very bare, suddenly hyper-aware of the droplets running down her face and into her shirt.

“Hello,” Nadine finally says. She is good with languages—there isn’t a lot to do when you’ve been alive for a few centuries.

“Hey.” She swims over until Nadine can see her smirk with distinct clarity, until her bare shoulders come up, but does not go farther up the shore. “Not from around here?”

Nadine raises an eyebrow. Clearly not. “No,” she says.

“Huh. Chloe, nice to meet you,” says she, extending a wet hand from the water. Nadine has to slosh into the water to take it and give it a firm, short up-down shake.

It’s a strange name, given the context, and this whole thing takes her off guard. She stupidly blurts out: “Nadine.”

Chloe’s grin becomes wider. She doesn’t try to hide the way she eyes Nadine’s open shirt. Nadine isn’t dense, either, so she knows when there is an opportunity she could take, is she wanted.

She’s not sure yet.

“And you? Are you from around here?”

Humming noncommittally, Chloe stands, abruptly, to her full height and walks around Nadine to the shore. She is naked, and Nadine has to swallow a lump in her throat.

Nadine has seen a lot of women, and she can say with certainty that Chloe is one of the most beautiful she has seen. She tries not to stare and succeeds, given that she has excellent self-control. Though she will admit, Chloe certainly tested her in that moment.

“Where are you from?” Chloe asks as she picks up a shirt strewn across a rock and slips into it. Now, Nadine notices the pair of pants and shoes hidden behind the rock.

Nadine smiles, wryly, aware that she is giving more information than she is receiving. “Africa.”

Chloe doesn’t seem to take offence at her brusqueness. Just laughs. “Ah.” Then, because Chloe is so brave and so young, barely thirty by the looks of it, she stoops and holds up her pants, and asks, “Should I bother with these or are we going to address… what should I call it? The tension?”

Oh, how they address it.

After, as Chloe disappears into the trees on the other side of the river, Nadine realizes that she is entirely, profoundly, surprised.

//

Nadine has met many bold women; she can be one herself when she wants to be. Chloe, she never really forgets, but she is filed away into a tiny corner of her mind, fading away until Nadine never really thinks about it unless she is alone at a river and has run out of things to think about.

Besides, World War II has started, and she’s occupied with killing those Nazi bastards. She doesn’t enlist in any army—can’t exactly fly under the radar there—but she has connections and resources, and works perfectly well alone.

In the face of all this, Chloe is not forgotten, but she is not remembered.

And Nadine’s life goes on, and on, and on, as it is wont to do.

//

Nadine doesn’t know why she never dies. It just happened or, more precisely, it just never happened.

Her parents did. She never really knew her father, as her mother raised her, but she does know he died. Her mother, she held as she passed. 

Years later, people began to talk. Nadine turned thirty, and that was it.

She doesn’t know if she can die at all, but she isn’t interested in testing her theories. She has avoided fatal wounds for so long; she won’t stop now.

Sure, she has suffered and has felt like she might die, but she doesn’t think she wants to die. There are so many things she wants to know.

So, she decided, a century into her life, that she would not question it. She isn’t at all old enough to have been there for the Trojan War, but she does know not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

//

It is the 2000s and Nadine begins to feel a little existential. She will not fight in wars now, given the stakes and, especially, given her moral compass. Well, at least not official ones. She has accepted that she is a little bit of a vigilante, and she’s focusing on bettering her own home.

Always levelheaded, she never bites off more than she can chew. She only takes to the streets every few weeks. In the meantime, she decides to get into academia.

If she’s so keen on learning, why wouldn’t she go to school? Human achievement is impressive!

She has one PhD already and is working on her second. She has just started, meeting her advisor for only the third time, when she sees a flash of red in the hall, heading towards the History department.

It’s a woman with jet black hair, ponytail swinging. Before Nadine can think to squint, she’s rounded the corner and is gone.

Blinking, Nadine turns away and heads to the courtyard. She likes to sit on the grass and do her research there. Small pleasures.

It’s been an hour, maybe two, when a shadow casts over. Strangely, she feels her heart start to beat faster before she even looks up.

“Hello,” she says, throwing an arm over her forehead to shade herself from the afternoon sun.

Chloe in the flesh. She puts on the same old smirk and looks down at Nadine with her hands on her hips. “Hey, you.”

Nadine raises an eyebrow as she sits down and makes herself at home on Nadine’s picnic blanket, among her sea of books.

“Well, look at you.” Chloe keeps on grinning, shark-like. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“You’re too kind,” Nadine says, thinly. “And neither have you, by the looks of it.”

Dismissively, Chloe waves a hand and tosses her ponytail over her shoulder. “No need to flatter me, you’ve already gotten into my pants.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Much, at least, she thinks. Then, wonders if, perhaps, she is dreaming.

“That’s nice.” Chloe leans closer, growing serious but retaining her persistent underlying curiosity. “Oh, Nadine, what are you?”

Nadine snorts. “Always so bold.”

She shrugs. “Places to be, things to know, people to do. I’m a busy girl.”

Like a shark, Nadine thinks again. She keeps her mouth shut for a few moments, just watching Chloe watching her. As Nadine recalls her memories of Chloe, she notes that Chloe mostly hasn’t changed. Finally, she leans back on an arm and says, “Looks to me like you have all the time in the world.”

“Hm.” Chloe lifts a hand, maybe to touch her arm, maybe to push her hair out of her face, maybe to cup her cheek. Nadine will never know. She tenses, instinctively swaying back a little. Chloe’s hand drops down, but she keeps on smiling. “You’re immortal, then. All the time in the world.”

Nadine doesn’t say anything, just waits for Chloe to draw her conclusions.

“How long have you… been like this?”

Nadine pretends to think. “About a century or five now. You?”

“Well, I was thirty-four when I met you,” Chloe wonders aloud, tilting her head as she does the math. At this, Nadine frowns and, upon seeing this, Chloe huffs a laugh. “Yes, actually thirty-four.”

That makes her roughly two centuries old. Nadine doesn’t know how to feel about this, about everything, about Chloe. She had been, to her knowledge, alone in this for three centuries. Never once had she met someone else like this, and she didn’t want to, she doesn’t think. She had always been slow to trust.

She never tried to think about this too hard; she doesn’t know how it works—is she contagious? But none of the other women turned immortal after going to bed with her. Still, she worries at her lip and examines Chloe.

“How?”

“How am I like this?”

She nods.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Quid pro quo.”

Nadine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. I just never died.” She sighs, harshly, and closes the book in her lap with a full clap. “I don’t know.”

“That’s alright,” Chloe says, gently. This time, when she reaches out, to touch her wrist, Nadine lets her. Chloe looks down at the point of contact, seemingly charmed. Then, after a beat, meets Nadine’s eyes again and smiles. “Well, I don’t know how exactly it worked, but this was an accident.”

“…what?” Nadine scoffs. “How do you ‘accidentally’ achieve immortality?”

Chloe looks sheepish now. “I went into an ancient temple and mucked around, and maybe I broke something, and… well, here I am.”

Suddenly, struck by the urge to lie down for a decade or at least go somewhere more private for this discussion, Nadine shoves her books into her bag and stands. Chloe, startled, mirrors her movements and then stills as Nadine rolls up the blanket and easily hefts everything up.

“Uh, what’s going on?”

Nadine picks up her baseball cap and puts it on, and then sweeps an arm towards the paved path. “We’re going to my apartment.”

A little dumbly, Chloe follows along. “Who’s bold now?”

Nadine gives her a look, and Chloe just smiles, looking away with a shrug. They make the journey in silence, Nadine’s is a stubborn one, and Chloe’s obliging. When they reach the apartment, Nadine lets her in first and gestures to the couch. It’s not a very big apartment, but it’s comfortable and in an alright neighbourhood. 

After Nadine puts her bag away, she comes back to see Chloe leaning over the back of the couch to look out her window. She twists back around as Nadine sits.

“You alright?”

Nadine looks up at her, eyes hooded. “Ja.”

Chloe smiles, a kind one. She has such an expressive face. Nadine wants to run her hands over the dips and curves of it. Wants to feel a little more grounded in reality—is she really not dreaming?

The urge to just ask disappears in a moment as Nadine comes back to herself, feeling safer on her own turf.

“So, this is where you’re from.” It’s not a question, but Nadine nods anyway.

“Originally. I don’t remember exactly where but I grew up farther inland and then moved to the coast later before my mother passed.” Nadine rubs a hand at her temple. Tired. “They both died. I’m the only— I was the only one. For the longest time, I was the only one.”

Chloe shifts, an unidentifiable emotion drifting across her face. “Nadine.”

She sighs and says, “I don’t want your pity.”

“You don’t have it,” she says, not ungently. “It’s been a long time.”

For once, Nadine allows herself to give in. She leans over until she falls, turning her face to press her nose into the hard muscle of Chloe’s tensed thigh, just above the knee. She hugs her arms to her chest and counts her breaths. Chloe sighs, too, and puts her hand in Nadine’s hair.

Nadine’s back is to Chloe.

It’s been a long time.

//

So, this is how it happened.

She was abandoned by her mother and raised by a father who wanted a son. He loved her, regardless. He just taught her the ways of his trade.

Her childhood was spent scaling the shelves of libraries as he did his research and sitting uncomfortably still as he spoke to “experts” in their homes. When she was old enough, by his standards, he took her out to ancient ruins, and they explored.

It could be dangerous; she broke a few bones on these adventures. Most never healed properly, and so bumps and scars littered her body.

The worst, the one that almost killed her, occurred in the temple.

Her father passed a few years before, to disease. She carried on his work, suddenly alone. His life’s work: a crumbling ruin.

She had spent days scouting it out, hidden behind a waterfall, like in the legends. She was nervous. Afraid that her father’s work would amount to nothing, that the life she had led without him would’ve turned out to be a waste.

So, she spent days by the falls and walking along the river. It was there that she met Nadine.

She had thought Nadine was a figment of her imagination at first, peeking out from the top of the water. A beautiful, sweaty spirit of the wilds, dressed like an average person.

A blessing she received.

That night, she went in. There were traps, which she expected, and treasures, which she had desperately hoped for. In the centre, buried underneath layers of chambers, was the Tusk.

She got greedy.

Traps triggered—

The Tusk, she held to her chest—

She curled over, protecting it from falling rubble and—

The tip, sharp and shiny, punctured her middle. It was shallow, but still, she cried out and tripped, and the spear she landed on went too far in to be considered shallow.

She doesn’t remember the details; all she knows is that she came back to herself while crawling out the collapsing entrance, sticky with blood.

She hid the Tusk away, for later, and stumbled her way to the nearest town, broken spear sticking out from her ribs.

Half a year later, freshly healed and free from the doctor, she went back. The Tusk was still bloodied, and a gem from the tip of the Tusk had fallen out somewhere. At least, it made up for all her suffering in gold.

In the face of all that, Nadine was not forgotten, but she was not remembered.

//

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable, having been vulnerable for the first time in almost half a millennia, Nadine sits up and grimaces. Chloe opens her bleary eyes and stretches.

“What time’s it?”

Nadine could look at her watch, but she grabs hold of Chloe’s forearm. “Does it matter?”

Chloe looks down and frowns. “I suppose not. What’s happening?”

“Do you want to address the tension?”

Chloe’s muscles relax slowly. She kicks her sneakers off and, in one swift movement, shrugs Nadine’s hand off and settles into her lap. Her mouth descends onto Nadine’s.

This time is almost like the last, fast and sloppy. Except they do it three more times, at least, and afterwards Chloe settles in beside her and stays till morning.

//

Nadine also has many scars, and Chloe maps them all out just as Nadine does to her.

//

“So, am I the older woman or are you the older woman?”

Nadine bites into her skin, licking a soothing stripe along the scar tissue there.

Chloe groans and looks down. “Does that mean I should shut up?”

Nadine gives her an unimpressed look. “Yes.”

“Okay,” she breathes, hand flying to the back of Nadine’s head. “Whatever you say.”

//

South Africa is best experienced in the weeks after Summer has passed, in Chloe’s very vocal opinion, and maybe that’s why the days she spends holed up in Nadine’s apartment feels a little like paradise.

She is not the sentimental type, and Chloe even less so, but there is something to be said for attachments. She had forgotten.

Chloe even admits that she was only here because she saw Nadine’s picture and wanted to use Nadine for information on why she‘s the way she is. Nadine doesn’t take it too personally, because she would’ve done the same, probably.

It ends, of course, as all things do. Not permanently, but Chloe isn’t the type to stay still, and Nadine’s set her sights on finishing this damn degree.

They agree, in five years, they will return to the tree, the patch of grass, and try again.

//

Nadine feels like she has aged the five centuries she had powered through almost numbly in the span of those five years.

They kept in contact because neither of them is the type to make significant, corny gestures like that. Over text, Chloe echoes the sentiment.

For Nadine, it is as if Chloe had barged in, reminded Nadine that she was in control of the remote and that hitting the fast forward button on life wasn’t the only option.

//

“Why do you chase after violence?” came her voice, tinny over the phone. She was in Russia.

“Do I?”

Chloe hums. “All your wars, your crusades. You insist you don’t want to die and yet…”

Nadine raises her eyebrows and finishes typing out her sentence before pushing back on her desk chair. Her first instinct is to be defensive, but Chloe starts to hum tunelessly, and it reminds Nadine that not everything is a fight to be won and— “Ah.”

“Do you wanna talk about something else?” Chloe laughs, then, and jokes, “My abandonment issues? Inability to sit still? Maybe how I’m greedy and selfish?”

Nadine smiles softly. “It’s okay.” She clears her throat. “I think I just got scared of losing people and just, frankly, losing in general, with life and all. I took being independent to the next level. I forgot the value in doing things senselessly, and in a way that’s exactly what I did.”

“How do you mean?”

Nadine shrugs even though Chloe can’t see. “I don’t know why I’m immortal, and I didn’t want to know. What makes me deserving of eternal life and not anyone else? So, I thought only of what I would do with this and doing those things. I’m good at fighting. Why wouldn’t I fight? And I can’t die—there are causes I could give myself to.

“I mean, there were moments, in between, where my thought would wander, of course.” Nadine pauses, feeling nonsensical. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“That’s alright. I get it.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Anytime, love.” Another breathy chuckle. “Literally, anytime. From now until the rest of eternity.”

//

“Hello,” Nadine says when she feels a shadow loom over her.

There’s a rustling, and then a kiss to her cheek. “Hey there, sleeping beauty.”

It’s been five years.

Nadine opens an eye and sees Chloe peering down with her stupidly beautiful smile. Her fingers graze at Nadine’s cheek, featherlight, and Nadine’s touches over them. Warm.

“So weird how you haven’t aged a day.”

“Ja, I didn’t get a chance to develop stress wrinkles since you left.”

Head thrown back, wind blowing her hair aside, Chloe laughs. Nadine thinks there hasn’t ever been a surprise as nice as Chloe since the dawn of time.

Stooping over, Chloe kisses her.

[cryptidofthekeys]

Its another tf2 oc and im not ashamed

Let me break it down to y’all how this happened, so basically- I wanted a mafia-esque spy character but then my brain decided ok mafia mans is coolio BUT WHAT IF... t e n t a s p y mafia boss man? And voila here this fucker is

Name: Alphonse Blanchard | Titles/Nicknames: The Spy, Boss which usually his "partners" call him that, or just call him Alphonse, only ONE person can call him AL, anyone else tries it and well it wont be a very pleasant experience | Gender: Male | Species/Race: Used to be a normal human, now he's a Tentaspy- a m o n s t e r. | Age: 49s/50s | Occupation: Even tho he's got the title of The Spy n such- he's p much teechnically a Mafia Boss- b i g boss man for sure- | Height: When he was human he was about 5'7", but now he's 8'9" (nearly 9ft) | Eye Color: His eye color when he was human was a Steel Gray color, his eyes are now a Charcoal color (mostly for their meanings n stuff), his pupils are also slit ones now. | Hair Color: (even though most of his face except for his eyes and mouth are covered by a balaclava and you'd most likely never see him without his mask on, his hair color is black with grey streaks in the sides of it, however for the record- his hair is VERY tidy and slicked back) | Appearance: Now, not much changes tbh- except... he cant wear pants bc of the tentacles on his lower half but I'll get to those in a minute, he wears v e r y fancy and HIGHLY expensive suits, only the f i n e s t of clothing for him, usually he wears dark gray or black suits but he does have other colors- their just ALL dark colors, he likes the appeal of black or gray colors- and he d e f i n i t e l y loves the meaning behind them, they fit him so well... He also wears fedoras, he has some rings (you know the ones- the ones that some mafia characters or just big shots in general tend to wear- yeaah, his biggest ring and the one he usually wears has a skull on it-), and he of course has a circle beard, oh and he has a lot of scars both on his upper human body and his tentacles even, just- gettin that outta the way right quick- now onto his more monstrous features... For starters, let's get the simple one out of the way, he DOES have claws now, long sharp black claws to be more specific- his tentacles are pitch black on top with Smoke Gray tiger-like stripes going down them his underbelly is also Smoke Gray color- and oh boy... here's the most complex thing- his teeth, while all his teeth are p much bear trap teeth, his lateral incisors both top and bottom are longer kinda like vampire teeth or something like that ya know, his actual canines both top and bottom ones along with his first AND second premolars (again both the top ones AND the bottom ones are actually curved (kinda like an anaconda's in a way- p much- just- hooked teeth, perfect for hooking onto prey and not letting go if need be) | Personality: Oh b o y well, where to even begin with this motherfucker? He's narcissistic as hell "I k n o w I'm handsome, yes~" and god forbid you compliment him or anything- bc with e v e r y compliment, every good thing said about him his ego inflates and grows tenfold, even if you say bad shit about him- he don't give a fuck- as long as it doesn't affect his reputation then you'll be fine! He'll just pay no mind to petty insults or anything, at first- insults calling him a monster n anything similar bothered him, it made him feel sick every time someone had used those insults but now? Now... While he would MUCH prefer to have legs again (its honestly just bc its easier to walk around with legs than tentacles), he e m b r a c e s the fact he's a monster, he knows there's no reversing this, if there was- he would... he wouldn't go OUT of his way for it BUT he would at the very least TRY  to get his hands on whatever could cure this, ahem anyways- he's come to terms with what he is even if some things about it aren't... ideal... I wouldn't say he's EVIL really, he's more so a neutral unless provoked/attacked- t h e n he'll "take care" of whatever or whoever's causing the problem with NO mercy whatsoever, but other than that he can be a reasonable man, just don't piss him off, steal from him, etc- basically don't make enemies with him and you should be just fine, he isn't one for small talk or anything like that, he wants to talk business, business and m o n e y even, even if he is a fucking HIGHLY rich bastard, he always wants more- he's got a BIT of a greed streak in him for sure (that doesn't mean however he won't let others borrow money, he just expects them to pay it back in the end or sometimes... he'll use his money for ahem, undercover classified reasons...) He'll flirt with a n y o n e if they happen to catch his eye, not just ladies either- men, ladies, no gender? What the fuck ever, if he wants- he's GONNA flirt with anyone, even if it might not end in love or whatever, he doesn't? really? He doesn't really care tbh, love is alright and if it happens it happens but honestly- he's just a fucking flirty b i t c h, who loves to see that flustered look and get a reaction from the other, you'll never truly know... feelings? Maybe but probably not... (tl;dr: Flirty bitch- I wouldnt hold hopes for feelings, greed streak but isn't afraid to let others borrow money so long as they pay it back in the end- some things he uses it for are classified- p much [REDACTED] info, neutral unless provoked/attacked, no mercy nor care towards enemies- can and WILL wipe out every single one of his enemies without a single t r a c e being left behind, even tho he's a monster now and has a LOT more strength than a normal human, he still tends to use guns or knives but isn't afraid to use his monstrous features if need be, narcissistic bastardery at its finest- compliment him and watch his ego inflate! "Don't you want r e a l friends Alphonse and not just henchmen or lackeys?" "....Non, not in the slightest, absolutely disgusting to even ASSUME I need friends, I, myself am my best company, better than any friend could e v e r do" w o w- b a s t a r d energy there huh) | Side Facts: ...Truth be told, he won't e v e r forget the day he turned into... this... this t h i n g... Even if he's accepted his fate, even if he's accepted to be this monster, the memory still lingers and haunts him and his very dreams, he has nightmares about it, and its mostly due to the agonizing pain he felt d u r i n g his little "transformation", it happened one day- he was in his own medic's lab (yes, the bitch has his o w n doctor), it was a normal routine health check up his medic liked to do- the man was always harping onto Alphonse for that pesky smoking habit of his, but then suddenly, one of the rival- well, t h e y call themselves family- Alphonse only considers the people he hired to be henchmen, lackeys, OR- just employees for basic terms, but one of his rivals broke in and decided to open fire and of course, it turned into an all out gun war, Alphonse DID get shot- which is what caused him to stumble backwards into a shelf full of god knows what, after he bumped it, a few jars of weird substances had fallen onto him, after that he could feel his body twisting and contorting, he remembers the a g o n i z i n g pain he felt that day, it was worse than that mere gunshot wound that he had... Aside from the horrifying memory of what fate had befell him... He also remembers what he d i d to his little rivals... He remembers the mortified and terror-stricken look on their faces, all of them had ran- except for... their boss... so much for "family sticks together" huh, he remembers slithering over towards the boss, who- well, he tried to fire from the looks of it, but he was so terrified that he had dropped his gun, Alphonse had never seen such terror on a grown man's face like that, but he loved e v e r y. s e c o n d. until the very end, he doesn't remember what came over him in the end, maybe it was blind fury, or maybe it was just instincts, but after he did what he did... He remembers seeing the boss's head ripped off completely along with other limbs ripped off and flung across the room. Unfortunately, his suit was v e r y messy after that- He actually still keeps the boss's head preserved- almost like a t r o p h y in fact... ....Oh, your probably wondering what happened to his doctor, right? ....Well, I'll say is he's still out there, he didn't get killed- neither by the rivals nor Alphonse's instincts/fury, but truth be told... He doesn't REALLY wanna come back, he wants to stay hidden- I will say, yes- he DID see Alphonse transform, but after that he fled- part of him figured deep down that Alphonse would be v e r y angry with him since h e was technically the one who had those jars just sitting around on the shelf and he did NOT wanna stick around if that man was c r o s s with him... now whether or not Alphonse will ever encounter/find him again? ... Who knows- h e h ASIDE from all the backstory of why he turned into a Tentaspy, let's move onto things Alphonse just- likes to do in his spare time when he's not talking business n all that jazz- He usually smokes some of his cigarettes or cigars, he loves the cigars more though- he'll also do some reading in his spare time as well, or he'll listen to some calming music- sometimes he'll do all three, smoke, read, and listen to some calming music- he's not... the most exciting man, he's just usually busy- so when he's not- he'll just do those things- He'll SOMETIMES go outside and get some fresh air, usually its at night- not necessarily just bc there's l e s s people to worry about- but usually because he enjoys looking up and seeing the moonlight when its out, such a beautiful sight...

[spidercrimes]

if it's not too much to write, how about All even numbers for the OC asks for either character of your choice! or both if you're feelin wild whatever works : ]

wheezes this took so long but im finally done holy shit

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Echo doesn’t have any official titles, and isn’t really planning on getting any, unless Champion of Sune counts?

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Echo has a very good relationship with her moms! To their knowledge, things were a bit tense after leaving Ivydome, but plenty of letters and visiting when they could helped with smoothing over their relationship. A good memory would be when her moms taught Echo how to bake! They can really only bake cupcakes and cookies but theyre like. Hella good ones. They dont really have any bad memories with/of their parents, since like. They will forcibly forget or repress anything that upsets them, as long as it only affected them. If the memory is something bad that affected others it will linger for however long Echo deems necessary(read: an extremely long time)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

They were there and graduated fantasy high school what more do you want from them jkdxxjndk.  They started working at the local sweets shop after school, so no higher level of education here! They like history a bit, but that’s about it tbh!

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Yes! Echo had a pet cat back at Ivydome with her moms, and before the campaign she didn’t really have the money to keep another, so they settled for feeding and playing with the stray cats in Summervale.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Hmmm, Echo doesn’t mind children?? but there’s only so long they can be around them before she gets overwhelmed. Children like them well enough since Echo is always up for playing songs or messing around with cantrips. Echo would be the fun parent/godparent/babysitter, but. Please dont make them look after children they dont want any.

12. What is their favourite food?

Give my child spicy noodles or give him death

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Their first cake made without supervision was. A disaster to put it lightly since someone was feeling ambitious.(it turned out like rubber and after that he was too flustered n frustrated to focus so everything else turned out badly too) So they dont bother with that anymore! Cake mistakes who i dont know her sdkjjkdbs. So half the time they pass by anything with some type of airy sponge cake they cringe lololol

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

She had a rock and shiny things collection back at Summervale! They’re mostly for decoration, although some with certain textures are used for stimming. Some rocks are kept on shelves, but most are stored in cool jars to save space

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Echo is a sucker for romance novels and fun, upbeat music! Idk if video games, films, or video games exist in-universe, but if they did, they’d like dramas and baking shows, rpgs, and more character focused games like nitw

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

They love music, and they’d like musicals too! They will grab their lute and play along if their favorite song came on, and if nobody was around then maybe they’d sing too. Maybe. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

tbh their go-to insult is calling someone a prick or a bastard, and it’s usually for whenever someone’s done something particularly scummy. Or if someone is just. The Absolute Worst. It’s a leftover habit from when they used to live in Ivydome, but Echo usually sticks to talking shit when the target is. Very far away/not in the area.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

They try and get around six hours, to varying success, and to their knowledge they dont snore! Echo loves soft things and would prefer to sleep on a soft mattress with So Many blankets and pillows and maybe a cuddle buddy

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Fun fact echo does a tounge blep when she’s happy!! They tend to do lil happy claps and bounce up and down in place when they’re really excited, but when it’s a more calm-type of happy he purrs loudly and smiles a lot more than usual! 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

He’s claustrophobic and is terrified of being alone again or having to leave people behind even when the situation calls for it. So like. He aint copin too well after the last session! They get very flustered and panicked and freeze when theyre scared

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Does going on champion quests and running from his problems count as exercise or???

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Crop tops with long sleeves, shorts, and boots make up most of their wardrobe and they love it. Theyd go to like the fantasy equivalent of marshalls i think? Somewhere with good deals and a lot of options. Overlarge shirts, tank top crop tops, and more shorts make up their pjs. They dont really wear makeup, mostly bc they touch their face a lot and it feels weird the whole time, but they wouldnt be opposed to wear a lil bit every now and then! Their hair is floofy and a bit of a controlled mess since they cut it themselves

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Echo is 5’9”/ 175.26 cm! Theyre on the average side i think? Like theyre not super skinny but not fat either so just. Avergae. And yeah, Echo likes their body, theyre so bright! And their horns are so cute and having a tail is very handy and claw maintenance can be a bit of a pain but like. Aesthetic am i right folks

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Hes good at playing the lute and generally being very cute and giving out good vibes, and he likes baking and playing music! They can sing, but really only do that when theyre playing their lute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Echo admires passion and creativity the most, and dont let anyone from the party know but he wishes he could be just. A bit smarter and know what to say + ask. Theyd also really like to be able to make a decent genoise sponge too like theyre not picky

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Theyre a tea drinker all the way, and arent the biggest fan of sweet things. He used to use more tart or mellow flavors when baking. They def arent alert after being tired for a while, and will space out a bit

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

No secret ambitions here, Echo is an open book(unless they roll high on deception dvdjxb)! Becoming Sune’s champion, making a decent sponge cake, and protecting his friends with his life/in any way they can are all their current goals. Echo doesn’t care too much if they get hurt, so physical well-being and maybe mental are things they wouldn't mind sacrificing, but as a whole they don’t really want to think about what they’d have to give up. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it. 

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

If its cold, wet, or humid echo is not a happy camper lol. They prefer summer and the beginning of fall the most, and sunny days with lots of puffy white clouds are the best! They think its fun watching the clouds shadows on the ground. They’re better in hot weather than cold, since clothes for that type of weather are easier to dress for and they dont have to account for their tail or horns as much

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

God i hope they make a good first impression im dying over here xjkxdk but honestly it depends! They try to make a good first impression and i think they usually do? But if theyve just finished with a job w the gang or theyre just. So tired they wont really introduce themselves at all.  Its pretty accurate of how they are, and their go-to greeting is “I’m Echo Barquiel, a pleasure to meet you dearie~” 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

In theory they’d like parties but being around so many people with that much noise for an unknown amount of time would not be. Ideal so smaller get-togethers with friends would be the most enjoyable! Echo doesnt really have the uh, space to host anything so theyd just turn up to other’s parties. Theyd be in a constant state of switching between ‘holy shit im so gay’ and ‘oh my god theres so many people/internal screaming’. If they were dragged to a party, theyd mingle for a leelte bit before stepping out

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

A bedroll, waterskin, food supplies, rope, knives, a lute, matches, money- yknow regular survival stuff!

[starspatter]

WIP Challenge

Tagged by: @summertime-children

Tagging: @astrologista, @atsushishelteredinmoonlitjasmine, @benditlikegumby, @cryptoriawebb, @ibmiller, @iceperialprincess, and @otherwise-uncolonized

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I'll also do what deta did and post comments + short fragments.  (Be warned it'll be very long though, and most of these are actually Pokémon fics since I was a much more prolific writer when I was younger, and that was the fandom I wrote mainly for.)  I also won't be including "Heroes and Thieves" on here (or any DC/superhero stuff really since I’ve essentially “done” everything I had planned for now), as *technically* it is all already completed in draft form, and I'd like to keep things a surprise for whenever I do end up posting~

Hero and Seek

“Well, we’re all together now, so let’s have some fun, all right?  Don’t worry, it’s really simple.  One person is the ‘demon’, and the others have to hide from him.” “Eh?  A ‘demon’?  But that’s scary!” Three pairs of eyes turned up to her in fear.  Those eyes, which screamed and streamed the stark color of blood the first time she saw them – not just from tears, but from the ‘monster’ they believed dwelled deep within.  She thought for a moment, then removed her scarf. “How about this then?  Whoever’s the ‘hero’ has to find and rescue the others.  It’s a very important Blindfold Brigade mission!”

I’ll start with the one Kagepro fic I did attempt at least, which I described previously here, but is basically about Ayano + the Meka Trio playing “Hide and Seek” for the first time.  (I actually had it originally titled as that but just came up with this new version on the spot lol I’m so clever~)  For some reason I’ve always been hesitant about reading/writing Kagefic, but I actually got a fair bit farther in this than I thought, so perhaps I should try to finish it someday... Princes and Frogs

“K-Koizumi-senpai… Um… Please go out with me!” Itsuki stared down at the tiny underclassman, watching a rose mantle spread slowly over her cheeks as she gazed back with shy, but determined hope in her bespectacled eyes.  The older boy could make out his own handsome face reflected off the lens, a virtual image embellished by sparkling hearts and stars.  With dim satisfaction and relief, Itsuki ensured that his bright, patient smile betrayed no hint of the weary sigh that whispered behind it.

This is an intro excerpt of the first chapter I planned to write for an ItsuHaru fic from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, which I only ever posted the prologue for.  ItsuHaru was my first obsessive OTP, and I still think about returning to this story someday (especially since I have now proven to myself I *can* finish a full chapter fic if I put my mind to it), but it’s been so long I feel like I’d need to refresh my memory of the whole series/am still holding out hope for a Season 3 to motivate me again. *shot*

Fall to Pieces

As Itsuki stared at Yuki’s vacant visage, his resentment kept building.  His hands clenched, rigidly gripping the edge of the table.  Somehow, it just didn’t seem fair.  That she could so easily ignore the madness fate had dealt them, never reveal any signs of suffering or bitterness towards her situation, and yet always, always wear the same damn expression on her face. How could she possibly stand it? He can’t stand it. (any more)

An ItsuYuki one-shot, where Itsuki basically blows up at her from pent-up frustration over having to wear a mask all the time and his hidden feelings for Haruhi.  The two start to form a connection over their respective “unrequited loves”/understanding of each other’s pain, and one thing leads to another...  Like “Heroes and Thieves”, this is in fact technically “complete”, since I actually used the leftover steam from the former towards finishing at least one thing I started a long time ago - although I’m still not sure I’m totally satisfied with it/kinda want to wait to figure out what I’m doing with my other ItsuHaru fics before I publish it by itself.  (Incidentally the working title comes from an Avril Lavigne song lol.)

Little White Lies

“Perhaps the best thing for the princess would have been to fall in love.  But how a princess who had no gravity could fall into anything is a difficulty--perhaps the difficulty.” -George MacDonald, The Light Princess - Haruhi Suzumiya was walking on air. Itsuki could tell by the way she glided into the clubroom, sailing like a paper airplane – or a balloon with an inflated ego to match.

...Yeah that’s as far as I got with this.  This was meant to be a “White Day” story, which is Japan’s “answer holiday” to Valentine’s Day, where guys reciprocate by giving gifts to the girls who gave them chocolates.  I always wondered how the boys actually responded in-universe, and I imagine Itsuki secretly stressing out a lot about taking care to not upstage Kyon, but at the same time wanting to sincerely express his genuine appreciation and feelings towards Haruhi - whatever they may be.  In the end, he settles on a copy of “The Light Princess” by George MacDonald, which I highly recommend reading since it reminds me so much of this pair, and in general is such a fun and snappy “tongue-in-cheek” take on the fairytale genre. Sora in Wonderland

But wait- this one was a bit different from all its brothers and sisters.  For one thing, it was wearing a fancy waistcoat with pockets- and sleeves that were far too long for it.  As soon as it passed by her head, it stopped and slowly turned its head around to stare directly at her with its huge circular yellow eyes.  Sora stared vacantly back for a full five seconds before the information registered in her brain and she suddenly yelled, “Hey!”, and sat bolt upright.  The Heartless panicked upon hearing her voice and fled at top speed across the white sands, headed towards an opening in the rocks; Sora jumped down off her perch and immediately chased after it, no longer caring about the heat.  The Heartless hastily disappeared inside the cave, and Sora soon followed after, determined to catch the freaky little thing and ask it some questions, like what it was doing on the island at this time, and where on earth did it get a waistcoat.

OKAY SO I TOTALLY FORGOT THIS WAS A THING but apparently I tried to write a Kingdom Hearts parody of “Alice in Wonderland” lmao.  I’ve never actually played the games (aside from half of CoM), but it was probably inspired by a crossover art my friend drew? ^^; Also Sora is a girl in this bc that’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. XP *shot* Note: The following fics are all Pokémon-related so I’ll just be listing them in roughly chronological order (from most recent to ancient, although they’re all pretty old at this point). Stranger

The elder slowly rose to his feet, gazing at the boy, the champion, the stranger.  “In all this time, why didn’t you come back?  You could have seen for yourself how she was.” Lance wanted to yell something defiant, like a child.  But he wasn’t a child.  Children were forgiven for their mistakes.  And he didn’t want to be forgiven. The professor’s ancient hand came to rest on the boy’s shoulder.  “It’s the way this town works.  We don’t talk about things that happen outside our own world.  Maybe it was too long ago – too late for you to understand.” Lance didn’t say anything. “At least talk to Delia.  She’s been wanting to see you.” “Sorry.  It’s too late.” “You’re a bastard.” “I know.”

So this looks to be among the last things I’d written before taking a long break from fanfiction circa... 2007, jeeze.  Over 10 years, huh.  But, I think it speaks a certain amount of maturity that it’s the piece I liked most upon rediscovering.  It’s based on an idea I once had that Lance was (unknowingly) Gary Oak’s father, and he was friends/rivals with Ash’s father, who originally won the title of Champion but relinquished it so he could be with his “wife” and kid (or rather, then-pregnant teenage girlfriend).  *Something* happened though (I forget what I had in mind) and he ended up dying, leaving Lance bitter and depressed so he refused to return to Pallet Town because of too many painful memories.  (Though he *cough* “comforted” their other female childhood friend for one night of drunken grief before he left. ;()  What I like most about it honestly is the parallels bw Lance’s relationship with Ash’s dad and their sons’, and that amidst all the angst I enjoyed portraying the earnest energy and optimism of Ketchum(?) senior (”like father like son” after all).  I was definitely inspired by Mitsuki’s father in Full Moon wo Sagashite/Maes Hughes from Fullmetal Alchemist by making him a total “dork dad” who’d brag about his (illegitimate) family on national TV during the championship tournament lol.

Ihavenoidea

Either way, I get the feeling this really wasn’t what I had in mind when I made my decision to quit training.  I mean that in an intuitive sort of way.  Like, sometimes I feel as if I’m not meant to be here, like my life should have ended up differently someplace else.  Perhaps this is just one of those weird inconsistencies I told you about.  Perhaps not.  Even after all that’s happened to me recently, I still can’t really be sure about it.

...No seriously, I have no idea where I was going with this.  As far as I can tell it’s written from the POV of Gary Oak, whom I’ve always had a lot of... “complicated” feelings towards.  It probably has something to do with another concept I’ll discuss next, although for some reason it sounds like I was going for some sort of AU? *shrug* By contrast to the above, it reads like a whiny teenager complaining about his life - which makes me cringe but is probably an accurate portrayal of who I was at the time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This one was actually dated a little after the previous, so my best guess is it was some kind of vent rant where I would “give up” writing/creating and “childish” ideals for a while, as I was wont to do - but I still always come back to it somehow... RainbowMolly

Molly stepped out from the car and onto the dusty road, her heart beating wildly.  She could hardly believe she was actually here, of all places. The ride had been long and mind-numbing with anticipation, and now that they’d finally arrived at the destination, it all felt somewhat surreal to her. A small bear clambered out from the vehicle, joining her as she stopped to take in the rustic view that met her bright blue eyes.  She smiled and picked up her Teddiursa, cuddling its warm, fuzzy body close to her own. Her gaze traveled down the road which stretched in both directions, houses lining up against its margins. She followed it with her eyes towards a hill in the distance, on top of which sat what looked like a quaint little farmhouse with a windmill, turning in the summer breeze.  She breathed in the country air, catching whiff of a faint salt smell from an ocean in the distance. So this was Pallet Town.

...Why I didn’t actually name the file “Chasing Rainbows” - which was the title I had planned for this - I don’t know.  This dates back to an old idea I had where I believed Molly Hale from the third Pokémon movie was secretly the true “God” of the Pokémon world - in the sense that the entire universe was an unknowing fantasy of her own creation, similar to Haruhi Suzumiya (ok fine this was totally a crossover/rip-off of the same concept so sue me OTL).  In a place where children never seem to grow up and can go on grand fantastical adventures forever, Gary always struck me as an anomaly who willingly *chose* to forego such a life to pursue more “adult” interests by becoming a researcher.  So I saw him as filling the role of “Kyon” - the cynical narrator who was destined to ground “God” and bring her back down to earth, but at the same time be won over by her innocence and charm and learn to appreciate “kids’ stuff” again.  However, the Legendaries were actually aware of the power Molly holds, and so saw Gary as a threat to their very being - as by “waking” the dreamer and having her face reality meant erasing their kinds’ entire existence.  As the “apocalypse” nearly occurred in the third film, Mew and Celebi took on human disguises (in the form of May and Max respectively) to investigate Ash, who was able to calm Molly and “save” the world by “perpetuating” the delusion (and whom Molly totally has a crush on btw *shot*).  So it’s a bit of a love triangle lol, with Mew and Celebi (*cough* an alien and a time traveler, get it? *shot*) acting as mediators/interference.  (Although Mew might’ve secretly shipped Gary and Molly herself. ;O)

Betrayal

And these blades, these damned scythes that attached themselves to my arms when I was born, a curse upon me since birth, though it had not been apparent up until now.  They were covered with blood, the vital crimson liquid that flows through our bodies, now dripping down the steel surface in a webbed pattern, drops beginning to splatter the pure, emerald grass below.  The arm felt heavy and weak as I tried to lift it, as if it did not belong to me, but that was only a wishful thought.  I gazed calmly at it, inspecting the intricate designs the flow of the substance had created, as if it were an abstract piece of artwork. Tentatively, a pink tongue rolled out and caught a small droplet of it just before it fell from the sharp edge, just to convince myself that it was real.  The semi-sweet, metallic taste confirmed this.  I had indeed taken these men’s lives, just as I had taken hers.

So I remember this was written from the POV of a Scyther who seemingly went on a murderous rampage.  I only know that I wanted to give him an “Edward Scissorhands”-like story, since the idea of having such sharp objects attached to one’s limbs so that one could never directly “touch” another without being a danger is pretty tragic.  I suspect “her” was someone (a human?) he cared about but killed by accident, and after that he was only seen as a symbol of power/treated as a tool to incite fear before eventually rebelling against his “master”... Roses

“If you love someone, you should give them something that’s yours. That shows how much you care for them.” In the darkness, I pictured his smiling face, explaining to me as he wrapped a present for his girlfriend. His blue eyes were shining with a sort of spirit unfamiliar to me; I guessed, a feeling of love.

Another “dark” take on a Pokémon’s biology (I really liked writing explorations of those back then lol), this time of Roselia.  The idea was that a Roselia was so in love with her trainer that she would do anything for him - including allow him to cut off her arms so he could give them to his girlfriend.  I actually ended up turning it into a poem at one point:

Love is like a rose they say, And affection leads to grief they warned. For in the end love betrays, Its Beauty maimed by a poisoned thorn. You gave me pure water with a smile. Your cheerful face became my sun. I offered up my blood to you, And in return demanded none. Chop off my wrists, and tie them together. I’ll gladly bleed myself to death. In order to give you that which I hold most dear. My dear, my dear, Won’t you accept this bouquet? You take it, smiling warily. A blush creeps onto your face. And in those eyes I can see A garden of roses stretched out, Composing a wondrous place. Then you bound my hands in lace, And brought them to the girl next door. You presented them to her with grace. … My blood continued to pour.

Fanfic

She smiled at me, although something about her expression indicated something wasn't quite right.  I watched as she glanced over towards the west, her gaze lingering momentarily on the setting sun.  The glowing, orange sphere was slowly sinking behind the distant mountains, peaks cloaked in a pale, lavender haze illuminated by flickering beams of gold and scarlet cast across the horizon.

More accurately, I found this buried in a “catch-all” file where I had several (mostly finished) fics saved.  This was meant to be from the POV of an Eevee who had just evolved - supposedly into an Espeon due to happiness and bond with her trainer, which is what both wanted.  However, since it took place at sunset, she didn’t realize she had become an Umbreon instead, and her trainer ended up abandoning her for it. ;( It was a warm

Children’s shrieks and laughter echoed across the park as they flocked towards each other, and soon were chasing one another round the playground, weaving in and out between the swings as they partook in an innocent game of Tag.  One child was It; she was trying desperately to catch one of her friends so that they would take over the job instead.  Then it would be her turn to run away, for none of them wished to play the loathsome role of It.  Or was it because they feared being tainted by the person’s touch?  It must have been one of the two, for while she would struggle to reach them, catch hold of them, they would only flee, thoroughly enjoying the fact that they were vexing her.  Twice she nearly caught one.  Her fingertips were almost within reach of one of the other girls’ dresses, whose russet tresses were flowing wildly from the rush of movement and shining with golden highlights as the rays of the sun struck individual strands.  The target shrieked and shook her head, whisking her skirt free in time to escape capture, laughing with glee at the sight of the girl left behind, miserable and alone. 

Yeah I totally just went with the default beginning of the first sentence lol.  I guess this comes full circle with the first Kagepro fic I mentioned (although I’m not even sure I was aware back then that the Japanese version of the game literally called “It” a “demon”, which is even more fitting).  I believe this was part of a Pokémon series I was writing involving a creepy little girl and Mewtwo who would bring about the end of the world or something like that, but generally I guess I was just going for a “Catcher in the Rye” feel. *shrug* Golden Lights

The pale, rosy fingers of dawn were filtering in through the Granite Cave entrance, basking a small area near the opening in pinkish illumination.  Just out of reach of its expanse sat little Mika, huddled in the gloom of the shadows, watching the light creep steadily towards her as the glowing ball of fire rose slowly towards the East.  She knew about the Light that came from Outside.  There were plenty other small apertures broken into the cavern walls and ceiling that allowed some thin streams of gold brilliance to trickle through.  She had always done well to avoid them.  The brightness was like poison to her skin.  But they weren’t the Lights she’d had described to her by the old Crobat that always resided now deeper within the underground chambers, dozing now, most likely.  He wouldn’t awaken until night came round, and she did not wish to rouse him and perhaps disturb him from a pleasant dream.  She was very wise about things like that, being the young child that she was.  Still, she would have liked to hear a story to comfort her just then.

Last one I could find, about a Sableye who, like Icarus, literally “flew too close to the sun”.  In this interpretation I imagined that Sableye were creatures who could not stand sunlight at all, as it would cause their skin to burn.  But Mika (pronounced like “Mica”) always dreamed of going outside to see the “Light” anyway.  She was eventually tempted by Mew to leave the cavern under her angelic PROTECTion and step into the Light, who was acting as Ho-Oh’s messenger to “recruit” souls to “live eternal as an element of Ho-Oh’s Guarding Flame“, as the PROTECT faded and a “holy fire” began to spread.  I guess I was going for a Biblical/”Rapture”-esque reference.  (...Man I sure was obsessed with the endtimes as a kid. *shot*)

[woozi]

henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

[m0onbean]

skaterboy!AU yoon sanha

category: flOOOOOF note: dedicated to kaka~( @sanhasmoonbuns ) and completely inspired by this super cute photo so i couldn't resist writing this

at every school there's that "skater" squad that's considered really cool & considered popular

they would skate to school together, skate down the street to the mall, skate in the neighborhood, basically they just SKATE A LOT

and everybody at your school ADORESS THEM

"omg the skaters passed by my house this morning and one of the boys WINKED AT ME AIHFOAFIA"

"wow skaters r so hot"

"have you seen the skaters today ?1!1!! they ditched school omg"

"i'm taking skating lessons now"

but then you're just awkwardly there because you really DON'T care

i mean yeah skateboards are cool but in your opinion the skaters are just edgy teenagers who are rebellious and you don't really find any appeal in that

so one day you have to walk home and you do this thing where you always go another direction from the skaters so you can avoid them

but it's not like it's bc you hate them or anything

you just don't wanna be in the way when they SKRT SKRRTTTTT past you

so there you are walking home with your earplugs in when suddenly you hear that SKRT SKRTTTT

AND YOU'RE SHOOK BECAUSE NOW WAIT A MINUTE A SKATEBOARD'S GONNA RUN OVER ME GOSHDARNIT

and before you can move out of the way bOOM a person crashes into you from behind

and you stumble forward and scrape your knee and it's stinging really badly too

and then you hear a squeaky voice that sounds really worried and he's saying "ARE YOU OKAY" while rushing forward to examine your leg

and at first you're like "yeah i'm good" but then suddenly you get anGRY AND YOU'RE LIKE:

"WHY TF DID YOU RUN OVER ME COULDN'T YOU HAVE LIKE WARNED ME AT LEAST OR TRIED TO GET OUT OF MY WAY THIS SIDEWALK ISNT THAT NARROW"

and the boy which you now take time to look at eyes just widen a little

his hair is brunette and he has messy bangs that fall a little bit over his eyes

he's wearing this red snapback, earbuds are dangling from his pockets, and he's wearing a lot of wristbands

and then you realize huh this boy is actually really cutee!! wait no hes not lol-what am i saying

and he's lowkey scared but then he turns anGRY too and he's like

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WALKING SMACK IN THE MIDDLE SO I WOULDNT HAVE CRASHED INTO YOU"

"SO THIS IS MY FAULT?"

"I MEAN, YEAH"

"WHAT, HOW IS IT-"

then you two start bickering over whose fault it was for a solid two minutes before you look down at your phone and realize that you should've been home by now

so you're like oH SHIT we'll continue this argument another day then you usain bolt down the road

the next day, you're at lunch with your friends and you're eating your lunch and socializing

when suddenly a band-aid falls in front of you and when you look up it's tHE SAME BOY FRMO YESTERDAY

and YOUR FRIENDS JUST KINDA LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK AT YOU THEN LOOK AT HIM 

AND THEYRE IN SHOCK BC WHATS A SKATER BOI DOING HERE

you notice that he's wearing a different outfit this time: backwards snapback and a green hoodie (still with those tangled earbuds though)

and his skateboard is still hanging loosely in his arms

so you give him the stinkeye and you're like "why are you here"

and i guess he wasn't expecting that response because he chokes on his words before coming up with "i got you a band-aid since you scraped your knee"

and you just scoff at him and show him your already bandaged knee

and he's like :O and he reaches his hand to take it back but you're like "no it's okay i'll just save it for the next time you crash into me"

the boy is obviously shocked but then he just laughs and says, "can't wait"

then he leaves not before winking at you and then you turn back to your table and your friends are ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) why didn't you tell us about this

so school ends and you're walking home alone AGAIN unfortunately

but this time sanha is lingering at the school gates while tossing his skateboard in his hand from boredom

then he looks up and sees you and he's like "oh (Y/N) wait up!" and he runs over to you

and you're just like ??¿?¿¿ how do you know my name

regardless, you allow him to walk with you anyways because it's lonely walking alone

and that's how you learn his name which is sanha

you and sanha chat about random shenanigans and argue over small things

"it's better hearing the bad news before the good news because when you hear the good news it'll lift your spirits and make you forget about the bad news and compensate for it"

"but that's false hope and expectation. it's better to hear the good news and THEN hear the bad news so you don't delude yourself into happiness"

and so this becomes a habit now; he would wait for you at the school gates and you two would walk together to your house. he'd watch you go in and skate away.

it becomes such a casual routine now and you actually quite enjoy it

one day you ask sanha why he doesn't hangout with his skater friends after school anymore 

and he just casually says "eh they're no fun compared to you."

and your heart flutters a little bit at his words even though he probably didn't really mean it romantically

as time progresses you find your heartbeat accelerating each time you see him and you would become unusually shy around him

but you being a stubborn cookie, you would never admit to having a crush on sanha although all of your friends know it too well

all of your friends think you guys are dating because you're always seen wearing his snapbacks and hoodies and sharing earbuds in the hallways

plus you two would often hangout during lunch together and sneak off into the back of the school and just listen to music together

and all these little actions he does such as pushing a strand of hair behind your ear or teaching you how to ride a skateboard makes your heart go sssKKKKRRRAAAA 

then on one fateful day as you two are sitting together during lunch sanha suddenly offers to visit the skate park together

and you're like sure! and then he says "ok let's go now" and you're like ب_ب wdym

"let's go to the skate park right now!" he says really cheerfully which is different from his usual chill and calm mood

but YOU'RE LIKE AIWHOADIFH DITCHING SCHOOL ?????

and at first you hit him playfully and scold him for even thinking about skipping school especially since his grades have been doing so well lately

and sanha feels down that you rejected him but then you look at his sad state and you're finally like OK WHATEVER LETS GO YOU LITTLE BRAT

and immediately sanha is (｡◕‿‿◕｡) again

using his past rebellious experinces, sanha is able to get past the locked school gates with you and your adrenaline is ruuuuuushhing because oh god what if we get caught!!!1!!

but when sanha holds your hand you calm down and you know that he'll protect you <3

once you two make it outside the gates, you both run away as fast as you can before somebody sees and by the time you reach the skate park you're both out of breath bc wow exercise amirite?

and at the skate park you two have lots of fun together (^̮^)

he holds your hands as you try to balance on the skateboard and even tho you're wobbling sanha laughs and encourages you to keep on trying

and once you can finally "ride" the skateboard he's never been so hYPED BEFORE

"yay now we can ride together!!11!!1!"

"sanha i dont have a skateboard lol"

"oh"

so when christmas comes up and sanha is waiting at the school gates you notice a pretty big present box in his hands

and you're like oh?? what's that

and guess what? it's a skateboard he bought for you and it's in a custom design of this really cool black and white sketch

and you're like in LOVE with it because it's so new and nice and pretty and you can't help yourself from hugging sanha really tightly bc wow thanks i love it omg

and you two finally skateboard together (although you occasionally trip and fall down but its ok bc sanha is always somehow there to catch you)

but you didn't forget about sanha's christmas gift!!!

you TOO got sanha a BRAND NEW SKATEBOARD since you notice that the one he uses is rlly old and is about to snap in half

but you put more thought into it by customizing his initials in it and choosing a plain design since sanha isn't into overly decorated things

and when you reveal it to sanha he almost cries because he spent all his money on your gift so he couldn't get a new skateboard but you got it instead for him

and then the next day he shows you that he carved your name onto the skateboard and you blush so hard and at this point your heart is soARRRING FLYINGGG

so in return you put the band-aid he gave you at lunch a long time ago onto the skateboard and he’s like bursting into laughter at the memory and he’s like obsessed with it

and obviously you can't hold your feelings in because you truly love sanha as a friend and as a partner

so one night at the skate park it's completely vacant and the sun is setting with pink clouds looming in the air

and you and sanha are laying down besides eachother in those big bowls used to do cool skateboard tricks while staring at the sky

and like always, you two are sharing earbuds and are listening to chill lofi hiphop music

until suddenly you turn around to face his face as he gets lost in the view above you guys

and you can see his eyes glowing like he's in a dream and you realize the beauty of love and how beautiful sanha is 

and then he looks at you and just smirks "what are you staring at?

"you." you bluntly reply

sanha just chuckles and stares back at you, forgetting about the sky

"are you just now realizing how sexy i am?" sanha teases playfully

you scoff but can't help to smile yourself

then out of the blue you lean forward and peck him on his cheek quickly

aND SANHA fREEZES because WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!1??

then you confess "i love you" before you can regret it

so he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tighter to him until your face is nuzzled in his hoodie

"i love you too."

“my knee still hurts tho i wont forgive you for that”

“you really know how to ruin the mood”

[foxxema]

March 4 2017

We woke up at 5am and took a bus over to the airport. Basically just waited to board for 15 minutes and luckily nobody was sitting next to me on the plane so I had three seats to myself! Wooo! So I took the window seat and I think at the moment there’s like 15 minutes left until we land? LOL as I typed that the announcer said “we are beginning our descent blah blah blah.” It was a 3hr 30min flight so I slept for about 2 hours and then decided to play games on my phone. I’m happy to announce that I’m now pro at the game Subway Surfers. The clouds look so poofy right now I’ll add a picture. It’s so cool that we are thousands of feet in the air but you could go thousands of feet under the water and there would still be life. We have no knowledge of what’s currently directly under us and whatever is under us has no knowledge of our existence either. And we will probably never be in the same proximity ever again. I guess that also applies to the people in this plane too. The guy making the announcement right now will be old one day and maybe even tell his grandkids about how he was a pilot. But he wont remember this specific flight. Honestly, if I wasn’t writing about this I probably wouldn’t remember that I was on this flight either. Our memory is a weird thing. I think if I was allowed to have one super power/ability it would be to have an infinite memory and never forget anything. Or the power to talk to plants and animals LMAO. We are getting so close to the water and you can see the white froth from the waves. If you look verrrrrryyy close you can see them move and break too. Magic! I wonder what someone’s reaction to seeing this for the first time would be. Would it be fear or awe? In open top planes do people feel anything when going through clouds? Or do birds feel anything when they go through them. OHHH and do birds have a way they measure altitude??:!$3&/&/’ so many questions. We’re pretty low now and you can see the direction in which the waves are flowing. Odds that I jump out of the plane right now and swan dive into the water? Jk I can’t do that bc these damn windows wouldn’t break… and then I’d probably be vacuumed out of the plane before I could get in proper swan dive position. Bummer! It seems very windy out which will be great for sailing, how exciting!!! I hope there are sharks under me right now and they’re doing well! I wish they knew that I love them. This paragraph is becoming a stream of consciousness, so if anyone is reading this, welcome to my mind! Enjoy your stay! The sun is shining through the window and it feels so nice and warm. Ahhhh we are over the island now, flying over the houses. Eek we just hit the runway so I’ll put this away for now. …. I’m in the car going to the hotel rn and all these palm trees make me happy. I wanna pat them on the back and tell them they’re doing a great job growing and a little thank you for existing. But which side of the palm tree is the back? I’m super super super hungry and I’m wearing black jeans/dark red sweater so I’m suffocating in this heAT! Why can’t girls go topless like guys do, that would be so much easier. I wish Elvis was here. Elvis would like this. We just passed a bar and grill that smelled so good SWOOON!!!!! …. Lunch time ahora?

[olusegundare]

BROTHER SAMSON & SISTER DEBBIE’S STORY CONTINUES

Sister Debbie writes on "what are your advices?" 2nd May 2012 As my spiritual son and his fianceé, Miss Shield drove off, I took "mai" lord's hand and arm-in-arm we are heading towards the main entrance of the fast food auditorium as we approached d door, d security @ d door opened d door for us and we walked in talking about his spiritual son."He is such a nice person", I said."Oh, Yea! That is him 4 u...He is a lively person to be with", "mai" lord said."Oh Yea! I can see dat u were much engrossed in your conversation with him", I said"You know it is getting close to a decade dat we parted. When we were 2geda he was such a nice person to me...he followed me everywia,...to d wilderness of prayers...valleys of prayers...mountains of prayers...he is my very good companion those days...when he wanted to leave, the only thing i did not do was crying, bc I knew I will miss his companionship greatly..." Broda Samson said."Uhm Uhm", I said...by now we have moved close to the counter where we will get the foods we have paid for...we bought tandoori, pies, and drinks...as we walked back to a corner designed for lovers...there is another private corner within the premises of the Fast Food Complex...there instant photographers there to put Lovers, and other people who may wish to remember, relive the events experienced at the complex days...years afterwards...so we went to this Lovers corner...there are about two love birds there also enjoying themselves...we also got for ourselves a place...sat down...to relax ourselves...after some days of separation...as he continued 2 talk abt his spiritual son..."I missed him greatly you know, bc he usually assist me when I was just starting my business...he will help me to market some of my goods...Wash some of my clothes and ironed them...go 2 d market to get me soup ingredients...cooked it...at some other times he will sleep @ my house...So, all these activities readily came to my mind when he left...""Unfortunately, I have not come into your life then" Debbie interjected."Oh Yeah! Quite unfortunate. Had I even known you then? Maybe, maybe not", He said."But, I have known you before that time," I said, as I put a meat in my mouth.""Eegun mọni ni, eniyan ni ko mọ eegun"" as he grasped my hand from taking anoda meat to my mouth..."you are even not a good lover"...and he signalled that I shoudl put the meat in his mouth as a sign of love..."Eyin o tile mo wipe e ti ndagba, awa omode loye ki a ma je eran", I said."Are u also believing what those "eyibos" are saying? How many of us ate meat when we were babies, when we were children? Few if there are...this is because, our parents will say, meats are for our parents, but not for children...so leave acedemic researches that is centered for the developed world for the developed world and let us live our life here, and live it to the best within our confines", he said..as he poured the drink into a wine cup...and put the cup into my mouth and said, "...gulp down the juice of love darling..."...I also did di same to him, as he continued his saying after gulping down the juice..."many people know me, but I do not know them then and even till now, some get annoyed when I do not greet them "specially", as such they usually call me to order, telling me where they know me from...and after hearing that, I usually apoligise and re-greet them, attaching some "speciality" to such greetings", he said."You have not greet me specially oh...that is partiality", I said."How special do you want my greetings to you to be again?" he inquired."As special as special can be now...even more than theirs", I said."I have been doing that all along and I will continue to do that", he said."Hun-hun-hun, (shaking my head like a baby) you have not been doing so, you need to start now", i said."Alright." He stood up from where he was, come to my side, embraced me...okay..."how is my parents, my lecturers, my friends...oh, how are the brethren?..."I was by now laughing...pat him by his side..."a ti gbọ sa, gbogbo wa wa lalafia ara"...I said"okay. Good. That is a tips of the iceberg of the greetings...more later", he said."Ẹ se sire! But honestly speaking, many people wouldnt know you considering the number of people you address weekly then, however some may have exchanged some greetings with you once, maybe after d programme and such people may think you have known dem, maybe dat is why dey think you are deliberately ignoring them" I said.said"That is it...That is what I also guessed is happening...but whenever anyone greets me after a programme and I answered, I immediately forget afterwards, how many faces will I commit to my memory? That is why it is not good to presume dat some people deliberately ignored you, sometimes those people may fix their gaze in d direction of d person, but d person may not be seeing d person not bc he is blind but bc the person's mind is elsewhere", he said. "That is true..."I said "That is why one may call d person & greet d person if one sees dat d person ought 2 greet one but d person does not, one should not assume dat d person ought to have seen u as such ought to greet", he said. "Many people have been embittered by dis, many have nursed ill feelings, ill thoughts to d oda person bc of dis which shdnt be", I said. "Yes, such shdnt be. I read an article & d man said, doing un2 odas wat one wants odas 2 do unto him/her includes one calling d person whom one thinks ought to greet 1st & bell the cat by being the 1st person to greet the person", he said. I nodded my head in support of what he said, "it is a good summation", I said. "My love, you have insisted we come here...which we have done, but you are yet 2 tell me what we are "washing"" Broda Samson said...I did not answer him immed8ly, as i kept on looking @ his face.."why are you looking at me like dat?" He asked. "I am appreciating God for sparing you, giving you me, that is why I am looking at you", I replied. "Oh thank God for that..but that has not answered my 1st question, whats up? What is d good news all about? Have you been promoted? Have you seen some of your results?" he inquired. "Nope. None of the above", I said. "Then wat is the goodnews about? A change of job to a beta one? Or have you received reply from baba @ home giving a nod to our relationship?" He asked. "Nope. It is none of what you guessed. But, I know Baba has no other option other than yielding to what I said in the leta. He is a simple man, he just want to be sure I am in safe hands thats all", I said. "Okay wat is it? I dont think I can guess again" He said, as he took my fingers and was playing with them,,."your nails are even dirty, d lecturers ought to be checking the nails of students these days", he said. "Itumo? Se a wa wa ni kindergaten (KG) ni tabi "primary school"?" I said. "Ki wa niyato eleyi ti e wa ati alakobere bayi?" He said. "E o mo iyato tabi? Ma gba ìka mi kuro lowo yin o", I said. ""Emi o ti mo iyato o" bc d nails of KG pupils are usually cleaner..but yours are dirty...Later, ti e ba bimọ, kini e fe ma so fun awon omo nyin ti eekanna won ko ba mọ?" He asked. "Eyin na laba nibe"" she said. "Lona wo o? Gbogbo enia e gba mi o", he said Smile..."" Awon wo ni yio gba nyin"? Where are they? Who dare come and un-nest this lover's birds nest dat we are in? Bi won ba ntan yin e ma tan ara nyin ko si enito le gba nyin kuro lowo mi nibiyi o...mo ti gbe nyin wa sibi oju olomo ko to o" i said. "I thank God my spiritual son knows I am here", he said. "Yes. He knows you are in the right hands"... "And whose hands, if I may ask? Interjectingly asking. "My hands ofcourse, he has sanctioned our being here together", I said smiling. "Then I will appeal to other authorities that I have been kidnapped..." "By?" i interjected. "By a beauty personified...by a star from a special planet...by "eyin-fun ju owo", by "ẹleyinju ege", by "ibadi aran", by spotless faced lady, by..." "Uhm! I think I shd be recording some of your words, it will make a good sales", I said "You want to add business to salary to academics "ni"? Jack of all trade mama", he said. "It is money we want...whatever legal means of getting it is acceptable globally", I said. "Kama fi oro sile soro", I hope u have not prepared anything for me @ home?" he asked. "Why do u ask?" I asked. "I asked bc of these dirty fingernails "ni", bc I wont eat it lest I eat micro-organisms and become infected", he said. "That will be good. We will give it to animals...but, before you talk further my nails got dirty as a result of the cleaning i did @ home", I said. "Has The cleaning said you should not trim your fingernails?" "Okay. "Se ibi ti ẹ nba ọrọ lọ niyẹn"?" I said. ""Ibẹ ni o"" He said. "Nigbati e o fi owo ti a o fi ra abefele ranse na ni a o fi ge ekana wa", I said. ""Laduru gbogbo owo ti a fi nranse yen""? "Photocopies, Lamination, printings, typesettings "ni gbogbo re ba lọ", I said. "Haa! Debbie mi! Wo epo lenu rẹ", he said. "There is no oil on my lips...", i stylishly took my handkerchief to clean my lips.. "No one sees the lips of liars bleeding", he said. "Well, I am not lying. I am just telling you dat my allocation needed to be increased”, I said said"Your prayers on me is not enof "na ni" bc d Gross Personnal Profit(GPP) is yet to be increased", he said "GPP yin ma increase "loruko Jesu"" we said "Amin" together. "Eyin na e je ki adura wa o gba lori yino.."I concluded. "" Iya aladura, adura yin ko ni ni idena lori wa o...so, what are we celebrating here?" he asked again. "You mean to tell me dat nothing crosses your mind as we are here sitted?" I asked. "Nope love. Nothing that I can think of", he said. "You did not remember any past thing that brought you here..", I asked again. "Sincerely, I do not...what do you think or know?" He asked. "Okay. "Mai" lordship sire. What happened to you when you were 44 years old that brought you here?" I asked "That should be few weeks before you came into my life... "Eh", I said interuptingly. ""Pause" me to think it out" "Se" you "don" become DVD player "ni"? I asked "Okay. Have you laid your hand on one of my diaries?" he asked. "Hun-hun", I said. ""O tile" serious. That one belongs to the past and it should be treated as such", he said "But what happened, something must have led you to its documentation", I said. "I wouldnt be too sure if there is any specific occurence that day, but generally speaking, anyone that is undergoing some trials do have a time when the thought of such things shall grip the person's heart beyond measure.. "Ehn-Ehn?" I said surprisingly. "Yes..and I think that was what happened that day, the thought of loneliness, going lonely all these years gripped my heart beyond measure that day to the extent of shedding tears...and after I cleaned my eyes, I decided to come here and relax...taking my heart off the issue generally..." "But can there be stimulus to such occurences?" I asked. "Yes, stimuli usually come via people's utterances...somtimes they may mock the person, sometimes they say it unintentionally, sometimes it is due to the manner of presentation by some other people which wil make the person undergoing the trial to think they are deriding him and thus it will pain the person...and depending on the person's threshold to issues, the person may weep or cry...lose appetite..become unsettled...lose focus etc", he said. "So, when such happens, what do you suggest such a person do?" I asked. "To such a one, I will advice she or he leave the spot...move to another spot where she or he will think less of such incident...try as best as she or he can to eat good food", he said. "Okay", I said. "Is this why you have brought us here?" He asked. "Not really..I just want to tell you that I am here for you forever and that there is no loneliness for you and I again till death do us part... May 3rd write upAfter leaving him, my fiancé, bro Samson, I became morbidly restless on my student bed, as I turned left, I think of him, when I tried 2 sit, I think of him, wat could have been d matter? I left him few hours ago...I could neither do anything substantial nor close my eyes in sleep...so I decide 2 come off d bed n sit down 2 pen down something 4 him...Here is what i wrote:When my heart was failing, I couldnt think straight, Just then some1 entered,The entrance of the person, Into d room I was, Illumine d room,The illumination, drives off darkness, And I could see, though dimly, Everything in d roomThings in d room, Yea, in my immediate n distant vicinity, Were afore unseen by meAs I withing me thank God, And my stars For d illuminer, Then, I also speak 2 God in my mind,What I uttered in my mind, Was not a mono-traffic, as I abinitio thought, Because d person actually comes to where I wasThe touch of d person brings me relief, The odour of his body is like a Nasal decongestant As my breathing returns to normal, The shadow of his presence wipes away Perspiration all over me The over-bearing burden on me, Becomes lighten by the Person's smile The Person's word is not a tingling to my ear, As it sets vibrating d oscicles n labrythyn of my ear, which orientate my disorientations As I began 2 wonder, Then a finger touched my lips, And yet some other fingers were on my foreheadWords that followed were those of love, Such wordings that I have ever longed for, Wordings that I have ever prayed for, Wordings that I have ever hoped for-Igniting words of love. As if by permutations and combinations, The subsequent followings are, Nostrils to nostrils; Breath to Breath, Mouth to mouth... The dying heart has been given a drug, Acetycholine has been infused into d cardiac muscles, Rescurcitation has occured, The collapsing mind is deeply subsumed, In the oceans of care, affection, warmth and Love, The pulse of the mind is nay collapsing anylonger The failing heart fled, The dimmy eyes become lightened, I became well again... Oh, bro Samson my love, Since, I opened the door of my life 4 your entrance, I have always been envied by all What can I do for you my love? What can I give my love? How can I express my love 2 you? I summarize my love 4 you in the common Yoruba sayings; "àkèré wipe kàkà ti ohun ko fi ni dun ọbẹ̀ tapà-titan ohun ni yo lọ sí i" (meaning a triped frog with smooth skin says "for me not to be rich in soup, my fore and hind limbs will go for it") and this biblical sayings, where you die, I have decided to die... In me, you shall ever find irreplace-able love and lover... Loving you now and always. -Debbie, written in d year of amnesties. NOTE: As I said before I used Yoruba interjections, i have bring out those words that may be clumsy and obscure to you and interpreted them here...Here are the meanings of the words beneath: "mai" -It is a special word coined out for this special story and it means "mine or my" everywia,-Everywhere Eegun mọni ni, eniyan ni ko mọ eegun- Yoruba Proverb meaning, Masquerades know people, but people do not know the masquerade (The masquerade usually put on several clothes as well as cover their faces with their eyes open like Muslim women, so masquerades can see and recognize people but people cannot recognise them because of the paraphernalia on them) "Eyin o tile mo wipe e ti ndagba, awa omode loye ki a ma je eran"- Yoruba word said by the lady (Sister Debbie) meaning don't you know you are getting old? It is those of us who are young who ought to be eating meat eyibos -Means the whites (Scadinavians, Caucasians etc) a ti gbọ sa, gbogbo wa wa lalafia ara" -We have heard you sir. We all are in sound health dey -they dat -that odas -others bc-because anoda-another Ẹ se-Thank you wat -What broda -Brother baba/Baba -Father Itumo?Se a wa wa ni kindergaten (KG) ni tabi "primary school" -Meaning? Are we in Kindergarten or primary school? "Ki wa niyato eleyi ti e wa ati alakobere bayi?" -What is the difference of where you are and those in KG/Primary school? "E o mo iyato tabi? Ma gba ìka mi kuro lowo yin o"- don't you know the difference? I will retrieve/take away my finger from your hand Emi o ti mo iyato o-I am yet to know the difference ti e ba bimọ, kini e fe ma so fun awon omo nyin ti eekanna won ko ba mọ?-When you give birth, what shall you be telling your children when they keep their nails and the nails get dirty Eyin na laba nibe-You are behind it "Lona wo o? Gbogbo enia e gba mi o-How? Everybody come to my rescue oh Awon wo ni yio gba nyin"-Who are those who will rescue you from me? Bi won ba ntan yin e ma tan ara nyin ko si enito le gba nyin kuro lowo mi nibiyi o...mo ti gbe nyin wa sibi oju olomo ko to o-If you are being lied to or deceive, do not deceive yourself for I have taken you to a place where parents can neither monitor you nor deliver you from me eyin-fun ju owo-Teeth that is Whiter than money ẹleyinju ege",-Beautiful and inviting eyes "ibadi aran"-Beautiful buttocks ni-or what? "Se ibi ti ẹ nba ọrọ lọ niyẹn"?"-Is that where you are going? or is that what you want to imply? or is that what you want to get at in your word? ""Ibẹ ni o"" - Yes, that is where i am going "Nigbati e o fi owo ti a o fi ra abefele ranse na ni a o fi ge ekana wa", - It is because you have not sent the money to buy blade or nail cutters that is why i have neither cut nor trim my nails ""Laduru gbogbo owo ti a fi nranse yen" - Upon all the monies I have sent? ni gbogbo re ba lọ", - Where did all go or on what did you spend all? "Haa! Debbie mi! Wo epo lenu rẹ", - Ha! My Debbie! Look at palm oil at the edge of your lips (It is a word saying somebody is lying) enof -Enough "na ni -that is itloruko Jesu"" - In Jesus name "Amin" -Amen. "Eyin na e je ki adura wa o gba lori yino.." - You should also let our (or my) prayers be answered on you oh "" Iya aladura, adura yin ko ni ni idena lori wa o - Praying woman, your prayer would not have hinderances on us Se - Is it that (Insert these interpretations there and you will understand the story line... The story is about a Christian brother whom I give the name of Samson, a good Christian brother who finds it hard becoming engaged despite the fact that he has grown old and is ripe to be engaged.... After a while he talked to a lady, Debbie (Deborah) who is far younger than him, and the lady agreed and they started the courtship... It is a LOVE STORY, fictitious)

[survivormoheli]

Episode Twelve - “Phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things” - Tara

Tara

i'm genuinely rly sad about richie leaving. i wish i put in more effort to talk to him n b friends w him bcos he has such a fun character. what stopped me was i knew he thought i was a leaker and i just thought he wouldn't of wanted to b friends w me but i should've tried to make him want 2 b friends w me anyway lol i'm sorry richie u deserve better

Blake

HOLY MOTHER OF GARBAGE WE PULLED THAT OFF! LYNN AND TARA SAVED MY ASS TONGIHT! GIVING ERIC FAKE PROMISES FOR THE FUTURE! OMG IM SOO HAPPY WOW I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY BUTT WAS GOIN HOME OMG! WOWOWO ERIC WANTED ME OUT. goodluck phoenix and tim AND ERIC >:0 FINAL THREE ME LYNN AND TARA

Blake

o and i was scared earlier bc eric was talkin to lynn about gettin me voted out but lynn finessed the shit out of him! and then i was scared shitless bc raffy omg he does not enjoy me at all lmao! inhope me and him can make up after this game!

Blake

Lynn: My love. My sunshine. My better half. I will see you soon <3 You better win this effing game! Show everyone you are a threat. I love you and we were together from the beginning now finish this without me! Tara: OOOO Tara they have done me dirty! Fight in my memory! CONQUER THIS LAND <3 Fight like I know you can! I am going to miss you too though! This game better end soon lol Eric: OOOOOOO ERIC if im going home you must’ve flipped…. RIP. GREAT MOVE THOUGH I respect your gameplay from turning yourself into a threat instead of continuing to be a goat! Richie: I still think you’re a threat! I wish you the best of luck (you are going to need it bc look at all the amazing players left)! Pull some big moves make me love you! Give me more than humor I wanna see you kill and stab ahha! Phoenix: Where are you? Big move maybe? You planning to ride Richie to the end? Tim: Well played you got two big threats out simultaneously from flipping! Taking something from my book I see? LOL (I’m not being sarcastic btw) Everyone: OK ANYONE OF YOU CAN WIN THIS GAME! PULL SOME BIG MOVES, BLINDSIDE SOME PEOPLE, AND DON’T LET THIS GAME’S SNAKINESS DIE OUT! EVERYONE PLAY TILL THE VERY END TO WIN! THINK ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN AGASINT. MAKE SOME HUGE MOVES! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO DO!

(what i wud of said if i went home tonight at the F7 tribal)

Eric K

That was a stressful lead up to tribal. Richie was really trying to convince me to flip but it just didn't feel right. Why would il allign myself with people I've barely talked to and just trust that I'm not on the bottom? Of course I realize that Blake is a huge threat and needs to go before f3 or he will be the winner. I had a good chat with Tara and Lynn separately and we all agree that he needs to go. Hopefully it'll happen in two tribals from now since he has an advantage/immunity that can only be used at next tribal.

Tim

So Raffy and JG voted for me? They really think I was playing some middle when in reality I was just being social and going into survival mode. Like Raffy I didn't even vote for you to go home so fuck off and JG you went home because of the blind round and you dont even have any proof that I voted for you so bye!

Blake

Hi yes Goodmorning. I woke up from my peacefull slumber and was INTERROGATED! TIM i guess was like ima ask who Blake wants  int the F3 and i was shook bc none o my allies were awake or off doing something to help me formulate a response... AND WELLL PEOPLES BLAKE IS NOT THE BEST AT JUST NOT RESPONDING OR GIVING A GOOD RESPONSE! TIM asked if i was takin tara and lynn to F3 or Tara and Eric (really cnfused bc i thought i was obvi i was takin lynn not matter what?) SO ME BEING THE GENIUS THAT I AM AND NOT REFUSING T RESPOND SAID "  Well i want to win so I wanan go with ppl who I think I can win against" in all honesty im scared if i said someting with names eric might freak or some shiz! bc i am taking tara and lynn. i know i could of lied and said im takin lynn and eric but that just sounds rude. you know taking? lol. oooo WELL NOW TIMMY IS PLEADING HIS CASE WITH ME. I REALY LIKE TIM TBH. PHOENIX IS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHOO DOES NOT TALK TO ME OR TRY TO AT ALL ITS REALLY RUDE. BUT OMG THIS IS THE LORDS DAY AND IM FEELING ATTACKED

Blake

The lords day is Timmy's day today

Blake

I just had i thought. I think the winner of this game will either be more or whoever takes me out. (TIM) STAY AWAY. maybe it wont even be me and i think to highly of myself XD

Tim

The longevity of my game relies on these immunity results. If I win, I fight on to another round. If I lose then... well looks like I can't afford to lose.

Blake

OBVIOUSLY MY ASS HOLE IS GOING NEXT ! SOOOOOOOO WOW I HATE EVERYTHING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT THIS ADV WAS

Lynn

OHMYGODSHAHSBSB i feel like this vote is gonna go to rocks and that is gonna be rocks between 3 people and odds are not in my favor ajsjdn i have awful luck ohhhhh my god okay well honestly going out by rocks isn’t the worst way to go 

Blake

OMFG ok im like 99% sure that i am safe! bc i think tara and lynn will vote for tim! all we hav to do is get phoenix to flip! omg this is stressfull i hate i hate! WHY AM I BEING TARGTED ALL THE TIM OMG AHHHH! ERIC IM COMING AFTER UR ASSHOLE U BETTER WATCH OUT BUD U BETTER KEEP WIINNING OR U R GOING HOME!

Tara

omg so just got back from hanging out w phoenix n had a bunch of fun! we watched love simon and i had to try not to cry like 5 times, happy tears tho. also ijust remembered like a couple rounds ago i said that i would get phoenix to buy me ice cream and he offered but i said no!! and now i realised it ruined my whole thing n yikes! i guess the offer counts? and he also bought me m'n'ms which i am eating now n they r delicious. also phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things HAHHAHA fbdksf i REALLY ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH YOU!!! and i hope we do it again sometime soon!!!!! sorry for forgetting u're lactose intolerant like twice. but ya phoenix was super fun. hopefully this is the start of a new alliance!! i think this round i'm going to vote tim bcos i feel like it'll make f5 a lot more cruisier and less stressful for me than having to rely on lynn not flipping on me or anyone else not flipping on me. hopefully eric can win immunity again so we can vote out blake. it was rly weird talking about game with someone face to face? and like planning about it and stuff. idk thank u phoenix for the fun day out!! also I MADE F5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe i did that!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooh!!!

Eric K

I am so happy that I won two immunity challenges at once!! I chose the advantage hoping that this would be a good chance to take out Blake. Since I talked to Tara and Lynn about eventually cutting Blake out, I think this would be a good opportunity. I just hope he does not have some sort of advantage to screw this up...

Tim

So I lost the challenge and I'm not dissapointed in myself, Im just unhappy that I couldn't win the challenge when I most needed to. And now I'm in jeopardy.

Tim

So Eric pretty much nominated me and Blake up for elimination which sucks harddd. I guess I have new hope in the game. It sucks that he didn't just do Blake and Phoenix but I guess he considers us his biggest competition to win. 

Tim

So Ive been heavily campaigning to Tara and Eric but who knows how this will turn out. Hopefully Eric just lets me go to rocks.

Eric K

I am very frustrated that Tara is not willing to go for Blake. The things she's saying are making me think that she would rather keep Blake long term and is potentially just using me... Even with me voting Blake, the numbers wouldn't be there and I would be outing myself early on. I guess I just have to keep on winning immunity challenges and hope I am not being played.

Tara

omggg so the most awkward thign happened i tried to call tim bcos i felt rly bad that we hadn't talked all season and i genuinely rly like him n i just wanted to chat but he turned it into a plea session, idk why i didn't expect that, n then i just like waited it out until he stopped fkdfs and then he started talking 2 me about his day so yay but then he was like ok i'll go grab some food and i was like ok seeya tim sorry about everyhting n he was like so you are voting me? and i was like yaa i'm sorry and then it just got rly awkward and silent and he was just looking at his computer screen like looking like he was about to cry and it wasl ike FIFTEEN WHOLE SECONDS of like silence and oh my god. i am an awful person. i love u tim. i'm glad i voted him out bcos i don't rly trust eric all that much but it forces him to work w me now so he can vote out blake n lynn n then  i can hopefully take phoenix to f2 or convince eric to take me to f2. yayayyyay can u believe i'm here and i have a PLAN go me

[ts-crossroads]

I have a treat for you! The final four castaways took a trip down memory lane with their Rites of Passage. Let’s see what they had to say about their fourteen fallen castaways!

Autumn: I wish we’d gotten to meet!! You seem pretty cool and from all the stories I’ve heard, you’re still a legend 

Dane: Hey what’s up. I’m sorry but I’m really happy you left early on. I don’t like knowing too many people in the cast , especially someone that I’ve argued a bit with. It would have been nice to play with you though.

Jake: hey buddy ; ) Lol obviously we didn’t get along well in the game. I tried talking to you and you ignored me and then made a chat to try to get me out, and then you called me a dick & deleted me for voting you out… bish weht? But I don’t hold grudges soooo it’s whatever to me 

John: ILYSM. I was shook to see you in this game and even more shook to see you go first boot. Rhohn would have been a thing everyone would have had to worry about in this game so everyones lucky.

Autumn: Me before Athena All Stars: FATUM IS UGLY EMILY DESERVED BETTER IN CROSSROADS Me after Athena All Stars: Karma does layaway? All jokes aside I love you as a person and Mongolia is lucky to have you

Dane: HI I barely knew you but you were like sociable with Bryan so you’re cool I guess. Good luck in Fans vs Faves! 

Jake: I lived for the fact that you understood all my vine references during One World and thought you were cool but then saw you deleted me after you got voted out like tf did I do? ☹ But it’s okay, good luck in fans vs favorites!

John: You were so wonderful to talk with and I felt awful about voting for you after you worked so hard on that scavenger hunt. I truly think it sent Fatum into the downward spiral it did, just for karma on all of us for voting out such a kind soul.

Autumn: We also didn’t really get to meet, which is tragic and I hope we get another shot in a future game. Oh and for the record, your exit wrecked Fatum and anytime your name comes up they all square up again it’s great

Dane: Hey I low key wish we could have gotten to play together to get rid of the awkwardness in the air between us. I like your makeup.

Jake: Hey Nicole, our only convo was about blankets lolol we just didn’t talk bc we were never on the same tribe but I heard u were iconic so slay and maybe we’ll cross paths in a game again one day ;o 

John:  I love you so much and you know that. I was ecstatic to see you in this game when the cast was revealed and the way you left pained me. I hope I have done you proud.

Autumn: Omg Bran!! I legit only voted you because I was afraid for my life and I knew people wanted to see Imperium suffer #foreshadowing. I hope things are going great and please know that I enjoyed the little time we did have together

Dane: I have played a lot of games, I have done a lot of shit but, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Bran, you are honestly one of my best friends in this community and like I said that you were always there for me and I would always be there for you, no matter what is going on. I feel like there is always this conception in Tumblr games that people are so afraid to vote out their friends and honestly, I am really afraid right now that you wont like me anymore because of this. I just want to say that if you are mad at me i’m so sorry, I really really am. I do understand if you are mad at me. I just feel like for my game, this is best thing for me. I wish you the best of luck in everything going on for you and that everything works out great. ILY.

Jake: Hi legend!! Ugh you were robbed but I’m glad we got to know each other on Optio bc you seemed like one of the most genuine people in this cast and I loved that. Your sense of humor always made me laugh and I hope that we talk or play other games after this because you’re iconic.

John: I really really enjoyed talking to you and to this day have wondered what could have been if we just voted you that one round. I hope we can be friends outside of this.

Autumn: Umm thank you for always watching and supporting the game! I stan fellow messy bitches who live for drama. You are another example of me being petrified and trying to get me and Chris back to Imperium. You’re a really cool guy and made me enjoy the time I spent on Fatum

Dane: Part of me is happy that you left early because just from my one world experience with you, I deemed you to be socially capable of getting far.... and you’re a straight frat guy. HOWEVER, you seem really chill and I can’t wait to talk to you post-game.

Jake: My secret partner and crime but not really bc we never on the same tribe LMAO. I’m happy that you finally got me to play Tumblr Survivor after nagging me to play for like 8 months cus I’ve had a blast in this. I wish we ended up on the same tribe at some point though, but tbh it’s probably better that we didn’t bc ur messy af oops.

John: We met in this game and you quickly became somebody I bonded with and could just talk to with ease. Unfortunately everyone else saw that too and wanted to separate us :/ I guess there was only room for one John in the game. But I love you still.

Autumn: Out of everyone in the cast and out of all the decisions I’ve made, voting you out is the hardest vote I’ve ever done. I actually didn’t think I’d get this far so I can’t believe I can legit explain myself right here and now instead of the reunion. I genuinely trusted you and I could tell you trusted me, but at the time, I felt closer to Dane and Rebecka. I also knew you would be the first to figure out I had really solid relationships on that small tribe so I panicked. And low-key I thought you could come between my original alliance since you were super tight with Chris. Thank you for being such a champ and being cool about everything

Dane: Okay honestly I wrote like one mean confessional about you. Sorry. In the game your introduction and your voting confessionals were like “HEY THE BITCH IS BACK” and “Hahah bitch try voting me out again! Or don’t because you’re gone 💁🏻‍♂️” but I hope that was just game you, I can’t wait to get to know you personally.

Jake: my original ride or die!! I was so thankful for you helping me not get 18th LMAO. you were such a nice guy and my first ally in a Tumblr Survivor so that’s iconic. You were also such a wild player and I loved your fearless attitude. Wish you made merge so we could’ve been reunited again ;(  

John: We met years ago in my very first org, on the messy ass Osin tribe. I didn't know what to think when I saw you in the game as we hadn't played together since. We voted together, we voted for each other, but I still love you personally.

Autumn: Honestly I wrote a whole confessional for you and Ned individually so I’m gonna be short and sweet right here. Your exit broke my heart and whenever people bring you up, I’m thinking he’s in a better place he’s in a better place. Anyway, thank you for everything. You always had my back, prevented me from wiling too early and ruining my game, and taught me a lot about the game just by letting me get to know you. Also you’re hilarious and like the embodiment of Survivor as a person? Ok cool. Our friendship is iconic and I’ll never forget like after a day of knowing each other you were like “we should call!” and I thought wtf call who does that haha. Catch you on the flip side Shaggy

Dane: So.... you lied to me..... I was supposed to ride your coattail to the end of the game but you decided to apply with your girlfriend!!!! Jk I’m not that mad about it, I was just shook. Smoke a fat one for me xoxo

Jake: Stonerrrrr. Hopefully ur still not coughing uncontrollably!!! Sorry for blindsiding you LMFAO but I knew you had so many connections and would’ve ran merge and I didn’t want to be on the bottom of an alliance which is why I had to make a move on you!! Hope you understand it was nothing personal cus I enjoyed talking to you in the game and really thought that you were a good guy.

John: Stonnerrrrr. You were awesome to talk to and such a great dude. We bonded from the very beginning and I wish we could have kept it going but shit happens. Hope to talk after this.

Autumn: WHY DID YOU AND CHRIS LEAVE BACK TO BACK?? IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS WITHOUT CRYING AND RELIVING THE DARKEST PART OF THE GAME DAMMIT. Ok here we go (you have a confessional waiting for you at the end too but anyway). Thank you for everything- like you don’t even know. I was devastated and you could tell I was dead serious about quitting Crossroads, but you wouldn’t let me. And to think that now I have a 1/3 chance of winning and made history in the series picking F2 vs. F3 is wild. You didn’t play for nothing and your arc- as rough as it was- had a greater purpose. You’re so kind, funny, and just awesome to know (and you not being wild and cracked like me and Chris is a huge plus haha). I miss Mystery Inc so bad you have no idea but I’ll catch you on the flip side Fred

Dane: Yikes. Sorry about that blindside. You were a really huge social threat and had a lot of people wrapped around your finger. As a viewer of the game I would have loved to see you play, but as someone playing against you, it was a little bit necessary. Alex says hi.

Jake: Ned!! We only got to talk during one world and the first round of merge, but I instantly clicked with you because you were so down to earth and easy to talk to. You seem like a genuinely nice guy and it sucked to see you get blindsided and I wish we had more time in the game together.

John: You're a really cool guy but it sucked that we were never ever on the same tribe so we never really got to bond on a game level. 

Autumn: Omg I shouldn’t have done these in boot order the last two took all my energy and it’s like 4 AM rip. Ok you’re amazing Scrappy and I wish we’d become friends sooner. Bryumn is us both asking DID YOU FLIP and then us both saying WAIT YOU DIDN’T FLIP. You’re hysterical, always brought the drama, and everyone was secretly afraid of you cause you’re that bitch. I wish you’d gotten more time, but I think you actually would’ve killed someone so it’s probably for the best. I like to imagine that you’re watchdog of jury, living your best life just ready to pop off at any given time. PLEASE keep the conversation history on or at least screenshot everything hahaha

Dane: Look! I took your advice and got my head out of the gutter and I got a brain soekfkcmcmv. You were honestly so iconic I want you to be brought back another season so I can root for you in the VL. 

Jake: my petty king!!! Bryan, we bonded over Zelda and I instantly felt a connection and trust with you during One World that carried over into our tribe swap and merge. You were a great ally and a fearless player because you pushed to make moves. I was sad to see you go so soon at merge because I wanted us to go a lot further. I hope we keep in touch, you’re a great guy!

John: You and I had a rocky road since you were on my tribe once for the Emily vote. Once we swapped though and I got to know you I really loved talking to you and wish our circumstances could have been different. 

Autumn: Queen!!! I miss bonding with you over the people who we do like and the people we don’t like hahaha. You were so entertaining and a breath of fresh air. Honestly you did the absolute most and as iconic as you were, we still talk about all the hilarious moments you brought. The hexes? The Bryan fight?? The blow torch??? We aren’t worthy! I wish we had legit been on the same side because we would’ve fucked shit up. I felt I was next after Sam so that was the logic, but I still feel bad about how you went out so my apology gift will hopefully arrive shortly/ check the voting confessionals

Dane: Okay whew. On a completely serious note I am so happy that the both of us were able to look past our Vendettas with each other and not only play a game together, but enjoy our time together. We have a lot of bad blood and it was so stupid of us but I’m glad to say that we both grew as people enough to move past stupid internet drama. I’m ready to see my voodoo doll!

Jake: Hey wicked witch, pls don’t hex me!! Julia, I knew you’d be wild and hilarious from day one. You’ve always cracked me up and I really liked working with you until things fell apart for us at merge with the Ned vote. If I ever play another tumblr survivor I hope you’re in it just because you create so many iconic moments that still make me laugh. #IsThatABlowTorch? 

John: I was so upset I didn't get to talk to you until the merge because you were iconic. You pulling out your blowtorch at tribal was one of my favorite moments of the season and I am TRYING to get it into gif form

Autumn: This cast is too big jesus christ but you tend to speed read so let’s not waste time. Hi sis!!! I love you, I miss you, and I hope I’m doing you proud. I hate that you were collateral damage in the bloodbath that’s been merge. But I know you’ll do great things, both in life and in orgs. You are and always will be the baddest. Navarino Final 2?

Dane: Honestly I am so sorry that you got fucked up. Not only were you a good player, but you were hilarious and iconic and I honestly wish you could have lasted longer to keep the game entertaining. I feel like I ruined your game by aligning with you and I’m so sorry about that clfmmcmv 

Jake: Hey Rebecka! Obviously we didn’t have the best relationship in this game haha. But I think we both knew it was better to not BS the other which is why we didn’t talk much. You were always positive and pretty funny from when we talked in the main chats, oh and all the pictures of your dogs were the best!! If we ever play another game together I would be down to try working together because you always seemed genuine in the game. 

John: You were so lovely to chat with, I knew we would be cool because I knew you from Jennas DR LOL. I wish we could have been on a tribe together so it could have happened sooner. We voted for each other but hopefully there are no hard feelings. 

Autumn: Haley!!!! I don’t even know how to explain it but you just put a smile on my face. Is it a) your chill attitude, b) your adorability, c) you running Fatum from the backseat and letting the boys think they run things, or d) your association to Chris? It’s e) all of the above!!! Hopefully we get to talk more after the game now that all these men and conflicts of interest are out of the way haha

Dane: We barley spoke, which is so bad on my part. I love how you came to tribal councils stoned out of your god damn mind. I hope you’re enjoying your time with Chris though! 

Jake: Haleyyy, I love you now and I really wish that we talked more earlier on because when we actually did start talking I realized that we could have worked well together. But it just seemed like at that point it wasn’t smart for me to seriously flip on everyone again. It really sucked voting you out but I appreciate that you were understanding. You were so sweet to me in the game and I hope we stay in touch after this! 

John: You and I have had a rollercoaster of a ride together. From the messy premerge on original fatum, to you blindsiding johnny. We had so many good times too on calls whether we were talking game or about our lives. In the end I am so happy I have come out of this game with somebody I can call a new friend. 

Autumn:  I’m so exhausted girl and it’s 5 AM so if this is like 3 sentences don’t hate me haha. Let’s just start with this: YOU DID THAT!!! From the fight you gave every round to the fight you gave us on your way out, you never quit and always held your head up high. Velma you have such a remarkable spirit about you and I’m really glad we became friends. Thank you for being in the trenches with me and giving me something (and someone) to believe in this merge. I’m glad the end is near I miss talking to you and the rest of the squad so so so much but it’s fine I’m fine why wouldn’t I be fine

Dane: MOOOOOOOOOM! You were probably the biggest contender to win the game and I didn’t have it in my heart to vote you out, but thank god devil Ryan and John were here ! I hope you didn’t get a bad nannying job and I can’t wait to talk to you again once the season is over.

Jake: Sam <3 We’ve gotten along since the beginning and I’m glad that we got to work together closely throughout the merge. It was amazing that we managed to turn things around after Ned’s blindside and it sucked to see you go. You’ve always been so nice to me and a joy to talk to, thank you for being an awesome ally.

John: I was excited to see you cast for this game because you're such a sweet girl but the survivor swap gods were never on our side until we merged. I hated that we ended up on opposite sides and felt sick the times I wrote your name down. I hope we can be friends with each other when this is over.

Autumn: There’s a chance you could be really petty at the end and I wouldn’t blame you. I just want to say that I always wanted to earn your respect as a player rather than just as a person. I love our friendship, but I know you and many others perceive my game differently than it actually is. I will set the record straight in due time but I have a lot to prove, one of which is that I’ll do what no one else had the balls to do. You’re a fantastic player and I’m honored to have ever gone head to head with you, especially so late in the game. You 100% would’ve won and I’m sorry me making a big move came at your expense. It’ll probably cost me a vote, but if sending you out automatically changes the conversation around me as a player then that means you really are that incredible and that I’m just that legit. 

Dane: Weirdly enough you were in the same boat as Sam: you’re one of the bigger contenders but due to my personal relationship with you, I couldn’t vote you out. However, I could conspire against you WHEN YOU VOTED OUT REBECKA! You’re too thick, but not too thick to tick me in the finale! :) #DragonEscapeIsOurAlways

Jake: hey daddy! We got off on such bad footing since I voted for you at the beginning of merge fjfnfdj and it was obvious that we were on opposite sides for the most part but I’m thankful that you didn’t just cut me off after the vote bc I really liked the talks we had that weren’t strictly game related. Sorry for being a fake ass with you multiple times oWo!! But you played a fantastic game as an ex winner and I really could’ve seen you getting to the end again if I didn’t make that move last round. Still glad that we got to know each other in this game, and I hope that we can be friends afterwards.

John: I literally thought you were a 15 year old guy named Jared because of your intro video lmao. Playing with you has been so much fun and also a bit of a rollercoaster ride. We have pissed each other off on probably multiple occasions, but at the end of the day you always had my back and you were an amazing ally. Love you dad.

[weasterned]

Kim Yongsun.

1. Solar Unnie is so— sighs. Tumblr-ish outside but dagelan-ish inside. Would never get over that moodboard dare ;  _____  ; she looks like someone who always smile in order to not making everyone worried about her. And she did good at promoting Mamamoo ! 2. Nearly nothing ! She did very well on promoting Mamamoo and look just like the real Solar ♡ 3. Hewwo hewwo Unnie ! Christmas is neaar ! Uh I hope Mamamoo will release a christmas single ㅋㅋㅋ I wanted to get closer with Mamamoo rp-ers and that’s my bad, I’ll try to talk with you more ! ;  ___  ; I hope you will be having a gooood year on 2018 ! ♡

1-5 coin 8) 2. kurang-kurangin recehnya sekali-kali jadi dollar kek biar ada yang nyangkut 8) 3. unnie sering bikin aku ngakak diam-diam, thanks unnie, btw nggak usah dikurangin recehnya, aku bikin gitu supaya bisa ngisi no. 2 aja 8[

1. Sankpah, Sunkpiece, Meme collector saingand queㅡ kind, curhatinable, best adviser. 2. Noona, aku tuh suka khilaf kalo liat noona. Otak mendadak inget Renjun dan cerita tentang Goblin. Apakah Renjun dan Goblin jodoh? (Tidak). Sumpah ya males nulis pake english. Kita pake bahasa saja nde? Apa yang harus noona improve? Hm, apa ya? Mungkin kita harus memisahkan diri dengan cara mimikri karena semakin dekat kita semakin dekat pula jarak antara bulan dan laut hindia. Gug deh wanjy, , , , :D noona udah ngupil belum hari ini? Kalo belum, yuk challenge ngupil bersama? 3. Dear my Yongsun noona. The only Yongsun noona that exist on my timeline. I’m happy to meet you here. Mahunya ya ketemu sama Monbyul noona yang pecinta berondong jagung kaya aku, tapi ya ketemu noona juga gapapa. Hmm…. noona punya harapan untuk kita di 2018? Apakah noona berharap kita jodoh? Atau noona masih ingin mengharapkan yang lain lain? Noona, thank you so much for listen to my story. You’re such a good adviser. Nih orang2 yang butuh saran coba datang aja sama kimyongxun, sarannya jitu lebih dari dukun dan ki Kusumo. Noona, I love you.

1) Mature, so lady-like?, kind, fun and pretty! 2) Maybe she should talk to me more? 3) Yongsun unnie, hello! Wishing you a happy time with your family on holidays and happy new year. Have a great 2018! ❤ 4) Plus : I like just the way she is~ Minus : I can’t think of any. RT or Tweet more about MAMAMOO I’d like to see them!

#1 - Funny - So bright - Talk a lot - Really friendly - Kind #2 Keep being funny and loud eonni and bright up WST family’s mood! #3 Hi Solar eonni! I hope you’re doing well this past year. It’s really nice to meet you here. You’re so kind and so bright! I like it. But it seems like you’re starting to get busier. I hope we can talk again and being loud together💓

gloomy girl, good rper, savage, kind, friendly

1. Kind, warm, noona-vibes!, attractive, girlcrush! 2. Talk with me more often! I’d love to get more and more closer and closer to you! 3. Hello! I dont know Mamamoo that much, would you mind to introduce me to them? :( Anyway I often see your pictures and oh my- youre so adorableeeee! Let me be your cutie dongsaeng, unnie. Anyway, enjoy your xmas and new year!

1. funny, nice, goofy, laughs a lot, receh 2. i dont know about this, but i found that you always receh for my jokes im so thankful of that : D 3. Dear solar eonnie, we didnt talk that much but i found that youre easy going and receh as well so i think we could get a long more more more well later! !

1. Moonbyul’s girlfriend. Absurrrrddd. Crazyyyy. Weirrddd. Prettyyy. 2. Please be a normal girl eonni. 3. My messege for this end of 2017 is…. give Moonbyul oppa for me !1. Cute, kind, swag, on hiatus, know her chara well /lyke wgl? /slapped. 2. Havent talk much, no comment about it but you’re good! 3. Annyeong Yongsun! How was your 2017 so far? I hope lots of good things happen on 2017 and more to happen on 2018. We are rarely talk but we will, anyway. Lets talk after you done with your hiatus. Stay warm and stay health on winter, okay?

he’s good looking ofc because every man are good looking haha, interesting. let’s have a talk with me bruh

Yongsun nuna.. she’s nice and i’m your fans nuna!

1. Mommy vibe lol, kind, weirdo, nice yet pretty 2. pejuang WGL 2k17 ya noona haha, semoga cepet dapet jodohnya, kidding. just stay the way you are, okay! 3. let’s make another convo in the future, noona!

1. kind, pretty, friendly, sometimes hyper, sometimes random 2. i can’t really think about the improvement you should do since you did well, sorry sunbaenim hehe 3. hello sunbaenim!! you’re the first mamamoo and solar rper that i have, it’s amazing to see you around, and you’re portraying your chara well! i’m very happy to be able to meet you and i really want to be close with you. Please always be who you are right now! I hope you will have a nice day and keep healthy till 2017 comes to an end!I haven’t talked much with you

1. i rarely talk to her, so maybe i just can say she is a nice person 2. please talk more with me in the future! 3. hello, solar noona. idk what to say, seems we rarely talk nowadays- and i rarely see you too? i hope everything okay with you. lets have a good convo again!

1. Funny, funny, funny, funny, funny. 2. I hope she’ll be more active. 3. Hello, Solar-ie! Please enjoy the rest of 2017 happily.

1. kind and friendly i dont know why but mamamoo rper always give that gay feeling 2.lets get more closer 3. Marry christmas and happy new year, ah lets get more closer next year so we can have fun year together.

1. Intimidating, cool, elegant, nice, fun. 2. I forget if i ever had a conversation with you i hope i can talk to you and know you more 3. dear yongsun nuna, you look nice and friendly. I see you sometimes on my tl but i dont why its hard for us to talk. Maybe because of that i think youre a bit intimidating hahaha mianShe is nice, friendly, talk a lot, pretty, but sometimes a bit weird. Not that weird in a bad meaning but….sometimes she tweeted random things…ㅋㅋㅋㅋ but she is nice! And sometimes funny too. I talked a couple times with her and I enjoyed that. To Solar unnie, Hello unnie! It’s a bit early but happy new year! Hope next year will only be filled with good things. Let’s talk more next year too!

1. Coins, kind, fun, joha. 2. Nothing need to change from my MatSolar unnie! 3. hello, Solar unnie since 2017 almost over which mean new year will bring a new hope also. Please stay healthy because the weather is not so good lately, keep warm. Xx Loves♡

1. doremifaSOLA~ 2. Let’s talk more with me ㅎㅎㅎ 3. Happy New Year , solar ♡1. Kind, mommy able, unnie able, miss able, lovely 2. I! Miss! You! 3. I hope you will always be happy, lately I’ve been seeing you down and I don’t like the view of it. I hope 2018 will be your year later unnie, don’t lose hope and fighting!

1. Unnie is so polite, kind, has a really good personality, but she is not really online that often and we didnt have much time to talk more hehehhee 2. Online more unnie! And lets make a good convo with me 3. I hope next year we would hear the news about Mamamoo’s comeback. Maybe…. You will have a solo debut hahah but nah its just my wish since i support mamamoo a lot especially you 😂

1. - kind! - a bit byuntae - ambiguous - sexyyyy! - retjeh 2. i rarely see you know unnie, where are you? are you taking a hiatus? i miss seeing you on my timeline. please comeback soon, i hope we can talk more in the future! 3. [💌]  just wanna say, thank you for staying in WST. i’m happy that i have such a kind and caring members here. it might be pretty hard when you feel left out in agency, but i didn’t feel like this here. thank you ♡ thank you for being kind to me, let’s make another memorable memories in the future!

1) nice, kind, mature, funny, koin saram?? 2) no need to, i guess 3) let’s talk more in the future and get along well! + i hope 2018 will be much much better year for you!

✨Penyulingan chingu,  crazy,  funny,  so kind,  really 꿀 쨈. Penyulingan chingu.  Let’s not take our own oath just bcs of anime,  let’s get crazy together lol. aku belom pernah mentionan hehehe, dan jarang nongol juga (atau aku yg jarang nongol?😂) semoga ke depannya kita bisa lebih deket lagi. Messagenya: Semoga apa yang terjadi di tahun 2017 bisa menjadi pembelajaran buat diri kita masing2 dan kedepannya kita bisa selalu mengucap syukur dan selalu dilingkupi rasa bahagia♡ Mak Solaaaar ! hihihi 🙈 makasih loh moodboard ber-partai nya/? my mak is a calm and cool but zonkiee girl ! CAN YOU DO THIS ? ? ? Eonni ayo kita chatan yang puanjang kali lebuar/?

1. We. Never. Interact. To. Each. Other. I’m. Really. Sorry. 2. I STALKING YOUR PROFILE FOR A WHILE. I’M REALLY SORRY. Are you on hiatus period? I’m looking forward for our interactions in the future! 3. Happy new year! Santa claus is coming to town~ *chuckles* You should take a good care of yourself, keep smiling widely, and be happy as always.

1. pretty af, my bias! Lol, kinda talkative, (skip), (skip) ; 2. Can you reply my mention? ; 3. Solar noona, we rarely talk. Let’s talk more!

1. VERY VERY KINDLY! Noisy, crazy, fantastic, care to everyone, friendly. 2. Nothing! Eonni is an example IC rp of solar. and I think she do well all the time. Well, even though sometimes she want to talk as a writer of solar’s rp but its fine. she’s really kind and always appear in my timeline whenever I open my twitter hahaha. Just be yourself eonni and dont change your chara please! You’re the only one solar on my timeline ;;;;; 3. 2017 is coming to end and I hope eonni stay healty and success for whatever you do. Also I’m really anticipate your upcoming smstation with SJ sunbaenim! Let’s be good friends as we can do eonni. I know you are a nice person and definitely wont hurt others. SARANGHAEYOOO!

-1. MIA and not really active on timeline or dm, tho… so I don’t really know what to say. 2. Talk to me more, unnie! 3. I like Yongsun unnie so I wish we could talk more in the future! God bless you.

1. Jarang muncul(?) 2. A kind person I don’t really know how to say much about this noona since we don’t really talk a lot and she rarely appears nowadays…but I wanna get closer heheh It’s the New Year’s soon and we’re gonna pass the 2018 together I hope. With this sentence I hope we can be more closer in the future!

[foreveregyptian]

DO ALL OF THE AESTHETIC ASKS (but not the ones you're uncomfortable answering)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

last monday in the gameroom a little louder than i should have

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

any moment i’ve spent with people whose company i enjoy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I would increase my voluntary salah, make some more dua, probably pray my salah with other people instead of alone, and go back to jumuah (i havent been going and i miss it). overall increase my rememberance of Allah

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

things id like to accomplish in this life inshaallah (based on first thing that comes to mind)

-memorize the Quran

-get married 

-travel with my future husband everywhere (inshaallah inshaallah)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

my mom honestly. sometimes we go on little adventures (thrift stores, short walks, cafes, or even grocery shopping) and she gets excited over the cutest things like teacups and stuff and she works so hard for her business and she balances so much on top of her normal responsibilities mashaallah shes such a great role model may Allah protect her and reward her for everything she does ameen

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I would say my childhood was average, there were a few times where ive gone through rough patches but theyve made me who i am today and I’m thankful for that. 

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

a couple nights ago in front of my mom, i got overwhelmed with a bunch of things that stressed me out and she knew something was up and she asked about it so i kind of cried a bit. 

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my future husband (inshaallah). I dont know why, but it just seems that it should be him. stargazing seems like a really peaceful activity that requires comfortable quiet and that was the first thing that came to mind. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

not really.... considering the fact i’m kind of awkward at first meeting people. 

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

with maryam, shes one of my best friends and im thankful for her

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

To anyone in the room, my shahaada (bearing witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah and that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is His servant and Messenger)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re calming to look into! 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

Its a verse from the Quran that I feel like has affected my life alot, from surah Hashr ayah 59, the translation being “And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.” along with surah Ra’d ayah 28, “Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”. Lately ive been feeling alot of anxiety for issues of this dunya, and at the same time i have to be honest but I wasnt 100% with remembering Allah. I was doing it, but it wasnt with the best intentions, and I’m trying to fix it. Alhamdulillah my chest is a bit lighter and I feel calmer, as if my heart is at more ease than it was before, subhanallah. 

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

probably donate it to my community school, they really need the money for repairs. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I didnt used to be. I used to hold grudges for a long time until i realized it wasnt healthy and also it wasnt good. and then i was forgiving to people who had harmed me, but if anyone did anything to my friends i would stay mad at them even when my friends had forgiven them (at this point i was like okay tasneem chill). now i can say (alhamdulillah) that i have an okay level of forgiveness (better than what i used to have before).

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dont worry about what other people think about you because none of it matters in the end. You are beautiful. You will go through fake friends and one sided friendships and they will leave but you will find gems that will help you grow as a person and will be there for you and call you out on your mistakes for your sake so grit your teeth a bit more and ride it out, verily with hardship comes ease. drill that in your mind, repeat it, because you will go through so much difficulty and emptiness but none of it is in vain. You did not go to umd like you wanted but youre much happier here alhamdulillah and you’ll see why. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel! definetly pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I’ve been exposed to cultures where nose piercings are normal, and i have my ears pierced. for myself i wouldnt want to go past either of those but people are free to pierce whatever they want. Tattoos mehhhhhh i wont judge anyone who has them but theyre not allowed in Islam. personally i prefer henna. 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i wear whatever im in the mood/energy for on each given day, but if its a big even i do a full face (what i consider full face is foundation/concealer and my eyes/eyebrows, plus occasional highlight) I dont have time in my routine for eyeshadow or learning how to do it. On class days that i do wear it it’ll range from fresh face to eyebrows and eyeliner+mascara. 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

Donald Trump, you are the shittiest human being in the world. (not changing this) 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

(has not been to a concert)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

red bc its cool

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

zaynub, maryam, hibaaq, afraah, and raneem and maybe somewhere in dc or an art museum or a city with cafes OH YEAH A CAT CAFE 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i saw this fanart of a hijabi airbender and it was so freaking cool i wanted to do a costume party and do a hijabified avatar character bc thats sick as heck

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

lol the most high ive been was at the dentist office off of laughing gas and my limbs were falling off the chair and i was laughing my head off 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

i’d rather only listen to one song because i love the people i surround myself with and i cant choose just one. 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

for me it was kind of heart painful. my heart would miss the person a bit after they passed by and it would go on for months... wishing for another way to see them even if its just a few seconds, the feeling that you’ve met before and wish to meet again, and after a long time when you think you’re over them, they show up and it all starts over. 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i’ve been told id look good in short hair and ive always wanted to try it?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

honestly my drinks vary but i usually like eating the turkey egg white sandwich. not even myself bc i never know what i want from there *nervous sweats*

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

making it to Paradise via pleasing Allah (SWT)