#and then probably the frosting for the banana split bars

[madegeeky]

Is cooking and baking for a tea party dinner an all day thing for other people too or do we just go too insane when it comes to tea party dinners?

[delicatecloudfire]

Saturday, January 22:

Breakfast: Banana, smoothie (banana, strawberries, protein powder, almond butter, almond milk, walnuts, chia and flaxseeds), sunrise energy bar

Snack: Almond honey cake with frosting (I like this but it is so, so rich; I'd try again with 1/2 the honey)

Dinnner-ish: Leftover salad (romaine, cucumber, red onion), 2 slices mozzarella, leftover half chicken breast, 1/3 cup egg noodles with a little butter

Snack: ~25 cherries, probably 25 sunchips?, sesame sticks

Ehhh not the best day. A lot of carbs, not enough vegetables, probably too much sugar. Breakfast was late so I didn't want lunch and then dinner was not quite enough. Nothing terrible but I wish this was more orderly. I have not had many days like this this month and I do not want another! Better tomorrow.

***

Reps are for each leg when applicable:

Bulgarian split squats: 10 x 3

Jump squats: 5 x 2

Lateral lunges: 10 x 2

Quadraped hip extensions: 25 x 1

Kneeling fire hydrants: 15 x 2

Single leg deadlifts: 10 x 2

Lateral leg raises: 10 x 2

Calf raises: 20 x 2

Side leg raises: 25 x 2

The hip extensions exacerbated my back thing much more than anything I've done all month, so I cut this off a bit early. Hopefully it will be fine tomorrow.

Below average day compared to the rest of the week in both food and exercise, but it's Saturday after all and I felt less stressed and pretty happy, and I did some good stuff this week.

I have a balance video and a gentle pilates video picked out for tomorrow. Gym Monday.

[five-miles-over]

Joaquin Phoenix Characters as Cupcakes

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this List: Theodore, Arthur, Joker, Doug Holt, Doc Sportello, Freddie, Charlie, Johnny Cash, Max, Merrill, Abbé, Jimmy Emmett, and of course, Emperor Commodus.

Theodore Twombly from “Her”: Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Red is a color frequently worn by Phoenix’s character in this romantic science fiction film, and his operating system is red too. So naturally, his cupcakes would adopt his signature color. Plus, red velvet is a flavor popularly served on Valentine’s Day (not that it isn’t popular during the rest of the year), so it would be great for the loving, hopeful Theodore.

Arthur Fleck from “Joker”: Vanilla Funfetti Cupcakes

This is basically your typical yellow cake baked with brightly colored, edible decorations (known as sprinkles, jimmies, or hundreds-and-thousands). The frosting is standard vanilla and topped with even more sprinkles - hence it earns the name funfetti. (It’s like edible confetti - fun, right?)

They would certainly entertain the inner child in Arthur. The bright colors would excite him, and they’d remind him confetti at a child’s birthday party. He’d have so much fun decorating the cupcakes, too.

Joker from “Joker”: Banana Split Cupcakes

These cupcakes may look like yellow cake, but they are so much more. The banana flavor is a match for the one who certainly drives Gotham bananas with his chaotic plans and antics.

And just like how Joker may look like any other clown, these cupcakes are good at masquerading like an ice cream sundae. At first sight, you’d be totally thrown off.

Doug Holt from “Inventing the Abbotts”: Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes

Just like his character in “Inventing the Abbotts”, Doug Holt makes for a refreshing presence onscreen - he’s cute, genuine, and kind. (Just like a strawberry!) And for a film representing American in the 1950′s, what better dessert to mimic than the classic American summer treat?

Doc Sportello from “Inherent Vice”: Matcha Cupcakes with Black Sesame Topping and Mascarpone Cheese filling

I think of all of the members on this list, Doc Sportello would be one most excited to try new flavors. The cool yet earthy green tea infusion in this cupcake would totally complement the buttery melt-in-your-mouth feel of the mascarpone cheese. And the sesame seeds would add a nice texture difference with a unique flavor. Certainly, it would appeal to the all-natural, organic preferences Doc has. 

Freddie Quell from “The Master”: Coconut Rum Cupcakes

As someone who likes mixing concoctions to form alcoholic “cocktails”, Freddie would certainly like his cupcake to bring a little buzz. The coconut flavor would be somewhat nutty but also slightly sweet. And it might be great for Freddie, who’s been overseas during his time in the armed forces.

Charlie Sisters from “The Sisters Brothers”: Maple Bourbon-Infused Cupcakes with Maple Frosting and Bacon Bits.

Just like Charlie himself, this cupcake is a little salty on the outside, with the bacon crumble topping, but also somewhat sweet with the maple syrup. Also, maple syrup is known to be quite sticky - just like many of the situations Charlie gets himself into. (I can imagine he wouldn’t complain with all the bourbon in this cupcake too)

Johnny Cash from “Walk the Line”: Pineapple Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. 

My original idea was to choose a Black Velvet cupcake with cherry filling for the Man in Black, but this pineapple cupcake pays tribute to one of his favorite dishes (as told by his son John Carter Cash) - pineapple pie. It was made with a standard dough-based pie crust and  a pineapple and cream cheese filling, hence the cream cheese frosting. Although, to add a Southern touch to this, these cupcakes could also be served with a candied pecan crumble on top.

Max California from “8 MM” : Devil’s Food Cake Cupcake with a Boozy Cherry Filling

As Max himself says, “If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.” So to pay homage to his quote, obviously his cupcake would be the Devil’s Food cake (it’s just a really moist chocolate flavor). The filling would be made with chopped cherries immersed in sweet vermouth  (wine spiked with brandy), and the cupcake would be topped with whipped cream and chocolate chips.

Also, is it just me or would Max totally make a joke about “popping the cherry” every time he eats these?

Merrill Hess from “Signs”: Chocolate M&M Cupcakes with a Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Filling

These cupcakes would certainly be great for Merrill - he’d appear to be a guy’s guy on the outside, but on the inside he’s not afraid to do seemingly nutty things (wearing tin-foil on his head?) and is extremely sweet with kids (hence the marshmallows). Also, the M&M’s add color to the mainly uniform cupcake, just like Merrill’s expressions add color to this film. 

Given the amount of sugar (and artificial coloring), they were probably made for either Bo’s or Morgan’s birthdays and Uncle Merrill just happened to like them more than the kids did. His favorite part is pulling these cupcakes apart and watching the gooey peanut butter and marshmallow filling spill.

Abbe de Coulmier from “Quills”: Lavender Vanilla Sponge Cupcakes with a Lemon Elderflower Frosting.

Abbé de Coulmier is an incredibly soft and kind person - it only makes sense his cupcake would be just as fluffy as him. The infusion of lavender in the vanilla sponge would delight him, and he might have one of these with a cup of tea in the afternoon. Though, he’d certainly be mindful of his consumption, remembering perfectly well that gluttony was one of the Seven Deadly Sins. 

Most times, he’d desire for the frosting to be removed and instead ask for powdered sugar to be put instead. (The powdered sugar was a compromise after being annoyed by the chef. He was not happy when the chef kept shouting about a “naked cupcake”.) Although, perhaps on special occassions, the frosting would stay and he’d relish the light, citrus-floral flavor.

Jimmy Emmett from “To Die For”: Snickers Cupcakes

Based off of the popular candy bar, Snickers cupakes are usually made with a chocolate cupcake, peanut butter frosting, and a rich caramel sauce with chopped candy bars as garnish. 

They’re perfect for Jimmy, who certainly liked candy bars and can usually be found snickering while he’s zoned out in his own world.

Emperor Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus from “Gladiator”

As always, I saved the best for last, and since I couldn’t decide on simply one cupcake I came up with three different ones for our Emperor. 

(Impartiality? I don’t know her.)

Choice 1) A Red Wine Dark Chocolate Cupcake with Raspberry Amaretto Frosting and Raspberry Drizzle (top left)

Emperor Commodus likes to go all out when throwing lavish games or hosting extravagant parties. So this cupcake is a perfect match, with the rich flavors of red wine, brandy (from the amaretto), raspberry, and dark chocolate all coming together in a decadent ensemble. 

Also, the raspberry drizzle totally looks like blood spilling in the Colosseum.

Choice 2) A Honey Cake with Whiskey Frosting and a Whiskey-Infused Honey Drizzle (top right)

Even though whiskey is definitely not a liquor I’d associate with Emperor Commodus, the cupcake certainly serves as a break from all the chocolate. (Do you think he’d even like chocolate? Comment below, please!)

The main reason this cupcake is here is because honey cakes were around during the Roman Empire. Also, the drizzle...can you imagine Emperor Commodus repeatedly spilling some of the alcohol-infused honey on his cheeks and asking his servant/concubine to lick it up for him? Or making his concubine suck the sticky honey from his fingers?

Choice 3) A Chocolate Hazelnut Fererro Rocher Cupcake (bottom)

This cupcake is mainly here because the golden wrapper totally suits the opulence of a Roman emperor. Also, in one of my previous listicles I paired Emperor Commodus with chocolate hazelnut gelato - thought I’d continue the trend. Plus, the smoothness of the hazelnut perfectly represents the silky tone of Commodus’s voice.

[sandriinehebert]

— 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓇𝓎

progress has been made! i welcomed a new employee. she’s only been doing this for a couple of months apparently but i allowed myself to trust her. i let her close the salon last night. she did great! i told her i was proud. she said i was a nice boss. that made me happy (not being called a nice boss, but to have found a talented person like her). i only woke up thirty minutes late but i still made it to work! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. maybe next time, i’ll wake up 25 minutes late! setting the bar low and gain pride from doing so little is very satisfying. other than that, i loosened up a little last week. i had a few drinks, but it was fun. i had a great time with the people i was with. i’ve done a lot of reading about dog breeds. i think i’m slowly making up my mind. i really wanted a golden retriever but i’m a terrible ball thrower, so i would make my puppy very unhappy that’s my brand after all. and i didn’t think about grandma yesterday, or last week even, maybe last month? is it a sign that i’m finally moving on? do i want to move on? ANYWAYS back to the usual content:

today’s to-do list:

split summer vacations for the girls

get the checks ready for the girls’ bonus

call adam about mom’s birthday party

have mom call the optometrist’s clinic for my yearly appointment (guilt trip her into not teaching me how to be an adult)

visit doctor to renew birth control shot

make new spotify playlists for work (come up with an excuse for forgetting to add taylor swift) IMPORTANT: must be 4 hours long!

visit the animal sanctuary REPORTED TO TOMMOROW!!!

wash all of the floors at the salon + call the company for a new lamp

bake cookies for tess and georgie <3

DO NOT WAIT UNTIL 2 AM TO GO TO BED

grocery list:

lait au chocolat (small bottles x5)

chicken fingers and sweet potato fries

tomatoes + tiny cucumbers bc they’re cute

chicken breasts

maple syrup

frosted flakes

bagels (plain + sesame)

oranges, bananas, watermelon, golden kiwis

apple juice

random ideas:

wow i really hate avocadoes

why am i dreaming about harry styles all the time? does that mean we’re soulmates? DOES THAT MAKE ME A COUGAR

does tony really hate me??????? yeah probably (add to to-do list: ask tony if he hates me and if he says yes, then move out of town to live in the shame of being despised by one of my only friends)

i should make new friends

friendships are high maintenance OR am i high maintenance that is the question

nah i’m an independent strong woman who don’t need no friend (add to to-do list #2: ask rupert if he wants to hang out again i miss him a lot)

one day i’ll read erik’s book, today is not the day

est-ce que je peux encore écrire en français ou ai-je perdu toutes mes capacités grammaticales? nope, still got it. i’m very smart.

recommendations:

movies: spotlight (2015),  finally finish inglorious basterds, barbie and the magic of dolphins (2017), ex machina (2015), titanic (THAT’S A JOKE I’M SO FUNNY i’ll never watch that shit hahaha i said shit well wrote oh well), all of the john wick movies (strictly for keanu reeves)

music: niall horan’s new album, marina [and the diamonds ?], blackpink

activities: visit the juice spot in town and figure what’s the hype around grass and celery juice, sign up for tai chi (apparently calimg?), try out tennis, stop talking for thirty minutes

recipes to try:

flatbread pizzas yum

strawberry & rhubarb pie with maman!!!!

butternut squash spaghetti

fresh summer rolls with adam for his next visit

tacos in lettuce wraps

couscous salad?

find one more person to hate on avocadoes with

@devinstonerpg

[uscdornsifeadmission]

The Top 5 Places to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth in LA - Nell DyTang

Let me start off by saying, I love dessert. Even if I’m full after dinner, I tell myself that dessert is a second stomach and treat myself. One time, my sister made Christmas cookies for Santa. But I ate all of them before Christmas Eve, so she had to make an entirely new batch and hide them from me so I wouldn’t eat more. When I came to LA for college, I was excited to explore a whole new world of desserts, and boy, did LA deliver. I’ve tried a lot of places in my years here, so to help you begin your quest for the holy grail of dessert in LA, here’s a shortlist of some of my faves.  

1. The Pie Hole – To be completely honest, I wasn’t a huge pie person before I came to USC. Then, my friend brought me Earl Grey Tea Pie from Pie Hole, and my world changed. At this point, I’ve tried almost all the flavors at Pie Hole, and while they are all delicious, none of them compare to the Earl Grey. It balances fluffy and creamy and includes a hint of lavender, which combine to make the most delicious dessert I have ever eaten. Even if you’re skeptical, at least give it a try. I have yet to meet someone who dislikes this pie.

2. Sweet Lady Jane Bakery – Like Pie Hole with pie, Sweet Lady Jane changed my opinion of cake. I’d been disappointed too many times by dry cake that I had started generally saying I wasn’t a fan of cake (unless it was ice cream cake). But the Triple Berry Shortcake at Sweet Lady Jane is pure bliss in a giant slice of cake. The cake itself is moist and doesn’t crumble, the frosting between layers complements the cake beautifully, and the berries add a great burst of flavor. My friends and I ordered a number of different flavors and tried a bit of each, but the Triple Berry was my personal favorite, while my friend likes one of their chocolate flavors.

3. Café 86 – Filipino desserts. Need I say more? Probably. I’m just biased because both my parents were born and raised in the Philippines, so I grew up with Filipino food, so when I discovered this place I was very excited. Their most popular dessert is their Ube Leche Flan Cupcake. Ube is purple yam and is commonly used in Filipino desserts. This cupcake was absolutely incredible. I tried to take my parents to try it, but when we arrived at 8 PM, the cashier told us they’d been sold out since 3 PM. That’s how delicious it is. 

I also tried their Ube Crack Cheesecake (this was my favorite), Ube Bars, Ube Milk Tea Boba, and Ube Milkshake. Note: the closest location to USC is all the way in Pasadena, but the trek is so worth it (there’s also a great Argentinian place down the street if you want dinner).

4. McConnell’s – I believe as a general rule of thumb that it’s hard to go wrong with ice cream, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be a superior ice cream shop. McConnell’s is that superior shop (at least so far, I’ve yet to try Jeni’s, which I’ve been told could change my mind). I’ve eaten a lot of ice cream in LA (Salt & Straw, Van Leeuwen, Peddler’s Creamery, Cream, Baked Bear, Bennett’s), but McConnell’s is the only place where I can never decide which flavor to get because I legitimately want them all. I’ve tried almost all their flavors because I’m that annoying person who holds up the line to ask for a million samples, and I honestly couldn’t choose a favorite.

5. Milk Jar Cookies – As you could probably gather from my intro, I love cookies, so I had high expectations going into Milk Jar Cookies. They did not disappoint. I tried three cookies – Banana Split, Salted Caramel (the seasonal flavor), and Chocolate Chip (as a baseline). The best in my opinion was the Salted Caramel, but Banana Split was a unique flavor, which was also wonderful and a refreshing twist. One thing to note, these cookies are very sweet. I only ate one immediately after purchasing, but the other two kept well after a couple days.

[instantdeerlover]

The Philadelphia Dessert Delivery & Takeout Guide added to Google Docs

The Philadelphia Dessert Delivery & Takeout Guide

Without friends to meet up with, it’s likely your evening confidants now mostly involve bulk quantities of chocolate peanut butter swirl ice cream. Give your bent spoon a night off, and order some dessert from one of the places on this guide. Alternatively, if you’re here to order a dessert for someone in your life - know that you’re an excellent friend and that there’s pretty much no better way to tell someone you love them without a smooch on the mouth.

All restaurants featured on The Infatuation are selected by our editorial team. The Philadelphia Dessert Delivery & Takeout Guide is presented by Uber Eats. In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, supporting our local restaurant community has never been more important. Uber Eats customers can now give directly to the restaurants they love at checkout. 100% will go to the restaurant. Order now to support. See app for details.

   Featured In The Ultimate Philadelphia Delivery & Takeout Guide See all our guides THE SPOTS 1-900-Icecream $$$$

The best ice cream in the city is made out of a Kensington basement, and the only way to get your hands on a pint is to sign up for their flavor drops and buy something before they sell out. The flavors vary with every drop, but they range from key lime pie to dark chocolate with potato chips - and they’re all incredible.

The Bakeshop on 20th $$$$ 269 S 20th St

You can find the Bakeshop’s daily menu on their Instagram. It usually includes brownies, dessert bars, and an assortment of cookies - place an order for pickup by calling them at 215-644-9714 or order for delivery on Uber Eats.

 Order delivery  Barbuzzo Mediterranean Kitchen & Bar $ $ $ $ Bar Food ,  Pizza ,  Pasta ,  Italian  in  Center City $$$$ 110 S 13th St 8.1 /10

Barbuzzo’s salted caramel budino is one of our favorite desserts in the city, with layers of chocolate mousse, whipped cream, and salty-sweet caramel. And they’re currently offering it for both delivery and pickup.

Bassett's Ice Cream $ $ $ $ Ice Cream ,  Dessert  in  Center City $$$$ 51 N 12th St Not

Rated

Yet

Bassett’s is the oldest ice cream shop in the city, and there’s a reason it’s lasted so long (since 1861 to be exact). They have over 40 super creamy flavors - from the vanilla and chocolate to things like salted caramel pretzel and strawberry cheesecake. Even though you can’t currently stand in line at a crowded Reading Terminal Market to pick it up, you can get it for curbside delivery by ordering here.

Beiler's Doughnuts $ $ $ $ American ,  Dessert  in  Center City $$$$ 51 N 12th St Not

Rated

Yet

You might be used to going to Beiler’s on a Saturday morning for a blueberry fritter or a dozen donuts. But you should also know that they have excellent pies, cookies, and other baked goods as well. Place an order for delivery here.

 Order delivery  Café y Chocolate $$$$ 1532 Snyder Ave

All you need to know about Cafe Y Chocolate is that they have incredible churros, and you can order them for delivery.

Cry Baby Pasta $ $ $ $ Pasta ,  Italian  in  Queen Village $$$$ 627 S 3rd St 7.8 /10

Cry Baby’s pastry chef is making custom cakes for $45, with frosting flavors like blood orange and salted caramel. They’ll also do cupcakes, muffins, and chocolate chip cookies, and will deliver anywhere in the city. Fill up your cart here, and send a cake to your coworker who covered for you when you fell asleep in the middle of the day.

D’Emilios Old World Ice Treats $$$$ 1928 E Passyunk Ave

D’Emilio’s is constantly creating new flavors of water ice, like the tropical “Passyunk Punch,” but has all the standard flavors like mango, pineapple, and lemon. You can also get soft serve, milkshakes, or soft serve on a big Philly pretzel like it’s a cone. To place an order for pickup or delivery, click here.

Essen Bakery $$$$ East Passyunk Ave

Essen has started up what they’re calling the “Babkamobile.” Order from their menu of things like Jewish apple cake and assorted cookies, and they’ll deliver it anywhere throughout South Philly. If you live elsewhere, you can always pick up your order from their East Passyunk location daily from 9-10am.

Fiore Fine Foods $ $ $ $ Cafe/Bakery ,  Italian  in  Queen Village $$$$ 757 S Front Street Not

Rated

Yet

Fiore has started making and selling a new gelato flavor every week, with their Instagram followers voting on the flavor. Once there’s a winner, you can place an order here, and pick it up on Sunday. They’re also offering cannolis, cookies and creme bomboloni, and other pastries that you can add to your order as well.

The Franklin Fountain $$$$ 116 Market St

Franklin Fountain’s ice cream comes in Chinese takeout containers, and that’s only the second-best thing about this spot. They also just make seriously good ice cream, with flavors like Hydrox and cherry butter almond. You can get it for pickup or delivery by clicking here.

High Street On Market $ $ $ $ American  in  Old City $$$$ 308 Market St 8.1 /10

There are a few different desserts you can get from High Street, but the two best ones are their face-sized chocolate chip cookies sprinkled with sea salt, and a chocolate cake that’s so rich it’s hard to eat in one sitting (but we’ve found a way before). Place your order for delivery here.

Isgro Pastries $$$$ 1009 Christian St

If you want to try your hand at making your own dessert, but don’t trust yourself enough not to screw it up, you should order one of Isgro’s take-home cannoli kits. They come with enough shells and cream for six cannolis, cost $30, and are available for pickup here.

 Order delivery  Oui $$$$ 160 N 3rd St

Oui is open for takeout and delivery, with a rotating menu of pies, pastries, and cookies. To place an order for pickup, call them at 215-922-1269, or for delivery click here.

Porcos $ $ $ $ Sandwiches ,  Cafe/Bakery  in  Point Breeze ,  South Philly $$$$ 2204 Washington Ave Not

Rated

Yet

Your number one reason to order from Porcos should be their incredible porchetta sandwiches. But a close second is something from their bakery - they sell things like cheesecake bars, bread pudding, and black and white cookies. Place your order for delivery here.

Scoop Deville $$$$ 1109 Walnut St

Scoop Deville’s new delivery menu includes the option to make your own at-home sundae bar. All you need to do is head here, choose your ice cream flavors and toppings like toasted coconut and hot fudge, and then set it up on your kitchen counter and pretend you’re at a six-year-old’s birthday party.

Somerset Splits $$$$ 2600 E Somerset St

You can get ice cream, sundaes, mochi, and other frozen desserts for pickup from Somerset Splits by calling them ahead of time at 267-905-7778. Their menu is posted daily on Instagram, and on the weekend, they have specials like banana splits and chocolate chip cookie sandwiches.

Suraya $ $ $ $ Mediterranean  in  Fishtown $$$$ 1528 Frankford Ave 8.8 /10

If you’ve ever had a grilled cheese and wondered what it would taste like if you poured a bunch of maple syrup over it, then you probably want to place an order for Suraya’s kanafeh kit for two. It’s sweet and salty at the same time, and even though the grilled cheese analogy is doing an injustice to how great this dessert is, it’s the best possible comparison we can think up. Find out for yourself how delicious the kanafeh is by ordering one (or a few) here.

Sweet Box Cupcakes & Bake Shop $$$$ 339 S 13th St

Sweet Box in Center City is known for “The Jawn,” which is a cookie dough bar layered with birthday cake and cake batter buttercream. It’s monstrous, insanely rich, and will probably put you in a sugar coma for a few hours. But if you have a friend celebrating a birthday in quarantine, it’s exactly what you should be sending them. Place an order for delivery here.

Weckerly's $ $ $ $ Cafe/Bakery  in  Fishtown $$$$ 9 W Girard Ave Not

Rated

Yet

Weckerly’s has opened a to-go ice cream window at their Fishtown shop selling both scoops and their excellent ice cream sandwiches. You can find their menu and hours on their Instagram, and place an order for pickup here.

via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/philadelphia/guides/dessert-delivery-takeout-philadelphia Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

Created May 28, 2020 at 01:42AM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

[tebbyclinic11]

Trader Joe’s Newest Products in 2018, Reviewed

New Post has been published on http://kitchengadgetsreviews.com/trader-joes-newest-products-in-2018-reviewed/

Trader Joe’s Newest Products in 2018, Reviewed

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Trader Joe’s has it all figured out. The new products, they just keep coming. We’re on a hare-brained mission to try every new product at TJ’s in 2018. Trying. A noble pursuit, a “good use of time,” “what is this, an ad?”, call it what you will. New this week—Valentines gummies, coconut clusters of fun, pretty good chicken sausage, and more.

Organic Oven Roasted Turkey Breast, $4.99These floppy shingles of roasted turkey are a lunch meat staple, though I’ve never tried to bind two pieces of paper with them. Instead, I roll them with sliced Swiss cheese and dip them in mustard like the grown adult person with an expired license I am. A subtle, roasted flavor elevates the turkey from its natural state of taste (soggy meat Kleenex) to a whisper of Thanksgiving leftovers. Good product. Reliable sandwich material. Real meat. Gluten-free. Protein. Precisely circular. Not salami.

Gummy Xs & Os, $2.99In time for Valentine’s Day, we have a big bag of gummies. The ”natural flavors” flavor reminds me of rosé–supposedly grapefruit, strawberry, and mixed berry—but they all blend together to me in the way you’re pretty sure gummy bears are different flavors for different colors but are they, really?? All I know is that the Xs taste better than Os. The big downside–sorry, gummy enthusiasts—is that the texture is too soft. Like that moment you’re making out with your Valentine and finally come to terms with the fact that he’s a body pillow named Ted. Gummies need a little bit of chew, some struggle, a reminder that it’s not gonna be easy all the time. A nice metaphor for love if you ask me.

Electric Buzz Coffee Cups, $5.49I drink coffee the old-fashioned way—by pouring off-boiling water into a filter directly in my mouth—so I enlisted a guest reviewer for these TJ branded K-cups that are supposedly EXTRA CAFFEINATED! “It’s no special cup of mud,” texted my friend Keith, a man who puts plastic cups in a machine expecting roasted bean juice to come out. BA’s Alex Delany described these coffee pods like he does beer, ridiculously: “It tastes like someone walked across your tongue with brand new dad sneakers on. Rubber soles.” Did he really need to offend all of dadkind like that? Probably yes.

Organic Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage, $5.99Like many chicken sausages, it tastes like chicken sausage. Throw in some garlic powder and basil particles and poof, Italian. Out of the package, they have a slimy smooth, bouncy hot dog texture because the casing has been removed. I don’t get how this works, but I‘ll try anything once. A sweet, kind cashier with a striking resemblance to my Uncle Manny (RIP) said he loves to make sausage and peppers with them, so that’s what I did. I mean, we’re practically family. The sausages are smaller side, more the size of Ball Park Franks, and crisp up in the pan as intended. Two people in my household ate the entire package of five links, dipping each bite in mustard and trying to find something more meaningful to say about something as mundane as chicken sausage. Notes of peppercorn tingle the tastebuds. Solidly Not Bad.

Coconut Sesame Seed Clusters, $1.99These are little shards that aren’t quite granola and yet aren’t anything else. Purgatory snacks! They’re crunchy pieces of toasted coconut covered in sesame seeds, sealed together with coconut sugar and tapioca syrup. Okay so they’re candy. Serving suggestions include: casually eating out of a hollowed coconut shell, on ice cream, but more likely, by the handful until you read the nutrition facts and realize the bag is empty but hey, at least they’re gluten-free? If this isn’t impulse purchase material, I don’t know what is.

Previously

The Week of January 22

Churro Bites, $2.49The only thing these churro bites share in common with hot-off-the-oil churros is a coating of cinnamon sugar. Other than that, these crunchy nuggets are their own category of cookie-chip. They have a near-velvet outer texture, the combination of shiny hardened butter and sandy sugar, like when you dropped a doughnut hole at the beach but ate it anyway, because seagulls. (Because you’re a monster). Sort of like giant Corn Pops, rolled cinnamon sugar. I won’t even begin to describe what they visually resemble (😺 💩). The cashier at TJ’s looked at the nutritional details and then slowly raised her eyes to mine. Me: “These are not good for you.” Her: “Then why are you buying two?”

Gluten Free Oat Cranberry Flaxseed Cookies, $2.99As a general life principle, you should never trust a cookie with more than three names. These gluten-free-oat-cranberry-flaxseed-cookies seem to think that they can trick us into believing they’re some kind of health food but we know, ohhhh we KNOW. These are cookies. With plenty of butter and sugar. Because of that, I have some great news: They taste like cookies! Like a very good grocery store oatmeal raisin cookie, with a surprisingly soft and chewy texture (I see you, molasses and rice flour.) They crumble a little, but then again who doesn’t in this current political climate? Still not sure what a flaxseed is, but I’m already starting to see definition in my abs.

Thai Green Curry Simmer Sauce, $1.99This so-called simmer sauce is the pale minty green of my grandmother’s bathroom walls, with much more flavor (and a lot less lead!). Even though a simple green curry is easy to make, at this price, it costs the same as just the can of coconut milk, and there’s Kaffir lime peel in here. It’s fragrant with lemongrass and ginger, and super creamy, a little sweet—overall, delicious. You cook some protein or veg, add the sauce, serve over noodles/rice. What does this sauce have in common with a certain presidential marriage? There’s absolutely no heat. BYO-chile if you need to spice it up.

Tahini, Pepita & Apricot Slaw Kit, $3.99Inside one plastic bag you get four more little plastic bags! It’s like a Russian nesting salad of environmental doom. Or something. The slaw is a combination of veggies from the aisle-land of misfit produce. Spiky broccoli stems. Faded carrots the color of construction cones abandoned by the highway. The curly split ends from a kale haircut. Cabbage. Unfortunately the dressing, a sweet honey tahini (try this one!), which is pretty good, can’t mask the musty taste of the veg. The pepita and apricot sprinkles are a nice idea, but like hoping the 14 throw pillows on your couch hide all of the cat hair, they can only do so much.

Previously

The Week of January 8

Photo by Chelsie Craig

Frosted Sugar Cookies, $2.99Trader Joe’s imitation of Lofthouse’s iconic packaged cookies is the best thing they’ve brought to the new year. The freakishly smooth, delightfully underbaked sugar cookie is topped with frosting and randomly distributed purple-pink sprinkles. Whoever was in charge of sprinkles appears to have sneezed them out, some gather along the edges, holding on for dear frosting life.

But they really did it. It’s mythic, and it dissolves into dust the second it touches your saliva. The minute you bite into it, you forget it was ever there. And it’s everything you’ve missed since the last time you had one, stoned at 10 p.m. in Kroger with your middle school friends who’ve all had babies on Facebook by now. It’s a cookie that will send you back in time, in memory, in a sugar-induced nostalgia nap.

Photo by Chelsie Craig

Cocoa Almond Cashew Beverage, $2.29Who doesn’t love a beverage? AKA the FDA-approved term for milks that aren’t milk. Remember milk? Pause to pour out some beverage in the memory of milk. Those days are over.

This incredibly silky not-milk is chocolaty and sweet, with a vaguely nutty aftertaste, like a burp after too many bar peanuts. The creamy texture, thanks to the beautiful food science that is locust bean gum and other emulsifiers, ends on a near slimy note, reminiscent of the inside of the cardboard chocolate milk carton. It would be nice in a banana smoothie, heated as faux cocoa, mixed into iced coffee, or given as a bribe to children who have never known the cult of cow.

Photo by Chelsie Craig

Italian Marinara Sauce with Barolo Wine, $3.49Have you ever spooned straight marinara sauce into your mouth? It’s acidic and sweet, smooth save for the little toenails of tomato skin here and there. The saltiness left my chapped lips burning and tingling, like I’d exfoliated them with French fries. The addition of Barolo seems to say, “I know wines other than red,” while the black-and-gold Deco packaging suggests a Gatsby-themed party at the Olive Garden. It tasted like pretty good pizza sauce. Sign me up.

Organic Fruit and Seed Granola, $3.69These little clusters of organic seeds, held together by plasticky tasting tapioca syrup, are nuggets of health. I think. No pesky oats here, just seed bombs that I imagine are only slightly larger than what well-fed pigeons expel. The sharp and crunchy texture is appealing to parents who bring healthy snacks to the movies. They’re also the perfect snack for mindful eaters, as you will mindfully spend every bite doing tongue yoga to get chia seeds out of your molar fillings from the 90s. There are surprise bites of sweetened dried cranberries that will make you exclaim, “SUGAR, for MEEEE?” Somehow you will eat the whole bag.

Stay tuned for more, next week.

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