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mrgan · 3 years

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Buttermilk Biscuits

Everyone loves biscuits! And if you look up how to make them, basically every recipe is about the same. Mine isn't anything earth-shattering, but it does have one unusual step. Scroll on down to find out what it is! (The secret is folding more than you think you should—ed.)

Neven's Buttermilk Biscuits

Servings: 6-9 biscuits Time: 15 minute mix + 15 minute fold + 30 minute bake

INGREDIENTS:

280 g all-purpose flour

80 g high-gluten flour (or more APF)

25 g sugar

10 g salt

4 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

165 g (1.5 sticks) unsalted butter, very cold

1 ¼ cup buttermilk, cold

DIRECTIONS:

First, the most important thing: keep everything as cold as you can. Place a large bowl in the fridge if you can; pop the whole butter sticks into the freezer as you prep.

Put a sheet of parchment paper on a half-sheet pan (18″ × 13″) as your final landing area for the cut biscuits. Pre-heat your oven to 400ºF with a rack in the top third of the oven.

In the cold bowl, whisk together your flour(s), sugar, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Grab your whole sticks of cold butter and grate them (using the side with the large, pizza-cheese holes) into the bowl with the flour. Using a spatula, fold gently to combine, but without mushing up the butter shreds.

Pour in the buttermilk and fold again with that spatula. You're trying to kind of sort of get it uniform, but it'll still look like an awful mess. Your goal is just to integrate the big pool of dry flour from the bottom of the bowl into a shaggy mass in the middle.

Dust with flour a surface as big as you can afford: a workbench, a clean counter, a large cutting board. Gently flip your "dough" (lol) onto it and shake out any remaining flour from the bowl. It will look like an intimidating, dry mound; that's to be expected.

Grab a bench scraper or another thin, flat-sided tool. (A small, flexible cutting board works.) Now press gently from the sides and the top of your pile to form a sort of tight box. Don't squeeze it like Play-Doh™, but do try to pack it.

Using your scraper tool, go under the sides of the dough and make sure it's not stuck to the work surface. Still using the scraper to help you, flip one third from any side over the middle; then flip the remaining third to make a thicker shape with 2 folds in it, like a letter (you know how we all fold letters all the time these days?) Press down to get the whole thing to the original, starting height again. This is your basic biscuit-folding move; this is what builds those flaky layers, butter being laminated between strata of flour.

Here comes the unusual part of my recipe: where most write-ups will tell you to repeat this two or three times, I'm going to suggest that you do so a dozen times. That's right, get a solid 36 folds in there (each step creates 3 "folds"). The thing is, I don't "mix" my dough much in the previous steps, so this folding is how we'll get the whole thing together and develop lots of layers. If it sounds like a lot of work, don't worry; once you figure out the folding move (which you have to do either way), it only gets easier as you repeat it.

The dough should keep getting more flexible and easier to work with as the flour is integrated into it. If you start to feel some sticking, add a bit of flour to the sticky spots, but don't go wild with it. If the whole thing sticks to the work surface, use that scraper and move along and under the sides again to free it, and maybe add a bit of flour there.

Toward the last 3-4 folds, you can start using a rolling pin to ensure an even height to your dough. The end result should be a rectangle 1.5" thick and maybe 9" × 13" in size, fairly smooth and without any huge spots of butter or flour in it. Press in the sides to ensure a square-ish appearance to the thing, but don't expect perfection.

Once you're satisfied with the final folded dough, cut off those raggedy sides; they'd impede a clean vertical rise of your biscuits. Use your scraper tool—or a big knife—to cut about ½" off each side so the remaining rectangle is super sharp and even. Cut straight down with no sawing motion; just slam straight down confidently. I believe in you.

Using the same BAM! cutting motion, divide your dough rectangle into 6-9 biscuits; how many is up to you and your idea of what looks good and what's possible with the dough. Move the cut biscuits gently—separating from the work surface with that scraper tool if nedded—to the prepared sheet pan with the parchment paper on it. Keep a 1-2" space between your biscuits as they will expand some during the bake.

Discard the cut-off dough… I'm just kidding, come on. Take those end scraps and press them together from their sides to make a sort of rectangle with them. Letter-fold the rectangle again as best as you can, press down to make it neat, and cut however many biscuits it will produce (2? 3?) Cut off the sides again and press them into one wacky biscuit that'll rise unevenly but still be delicious. This should be your only un-square biscuit. Move all the new biscuits to the prepared sheet pan.

Grab another ¼ cup buttermilk and brush the tops of your biscuits with it; just enough to cover them, without getting goopy. Pop the whole thing into the oven and set a timer for 20 minutes. Rotate halfway through that time if you're around.

Check your biscuits' appearance: golden, with some dark areas along the top? Are the bottoms also developing a nice crust? You might not be done after 20 minutes, so feel free to set a timer for another 3-12 minutes, as needed.

When your biscuits look so good you want to build an ethical photo-sharing platform just to show them to the world, remove them from the oven. Feel free to brush them with butter. (Just running that remaining half a stick of butter over them like lip gloss will do.) Let them cool for at least 10 minutes before eating them.

PRO TIPS:

Try to find full-fat buttermilk. Sometimes it's called "Bulgarian style" or another exotic name that means it's flavorful and good.

You can freeze unbaked biscuits. Once your biscuits are cut and on the sheet pan, place the whole sheet pan in the freezer for 2 hours, uncovered. When the biscuits are rock-hard, move them to a freezer bag, fold to get all the air out of the bag, close, and store in the freezer for, like, 3 months or so. Bake from frozen (DO NOT THAW) and add 5-15 minutes to the bake time, until they look delectable.

Do you think grating butter is weird? Are you weirded out by it? You can also cut it to a fine dice and then press it into flat discs in the flour using your hands. It's a free country.

Leftover biscuits should be stored in a closed container once they're fully cooled off. You can keep them around on the counter for 2-3 days, and reheat in a low oven, either whole or split.

I'm gonna hide a Mega Pro Tip here where no one will read it: buttermilk is incredibly delicious and you should just drink it out of a glass.

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steve-rogers-new-york · 4 years

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Recipe Wednesday #39

Happy Recipe Wednesday!

These are real period recipes, taken from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, a local newspaper that would have been accessible to Steve, his mother, and Bucky during their time in Brooklyn.

This week’s recipes are partially apple-themed! Which goes to show how much I love you all, as I hate apples with a deep burning passion. I felt squirrelly all the way through transcribing these. The recipes come from the Tuesday 1 November 1927 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. For context, Steve would have been 7 (comics) / 9 (MCU), so these are recipes that Sarah Rogers may have made, or which Steve might have learnt or inherited from his mother.

Marshmallow Icing Boiling 1 cup of sugar and ¼ cup of cold water till it spins a thread or is 238 degrees by the sugar thermometer. Beat the white of 1 egg till stiff and gradually pour the syrup in the egg, beating constantly. After the syrup has all been added add 1 cup of marshmallows cut in pieces. Flavor and beat a few minutes longer and spread on the cake.

To Make Noodles Beat an egg slightly, add enough flour to make a stiff dough and a little salt. Toss on a bread board, knead till very smooth and roll till thin as paper. Cover with a towel and let stand half an hour. Roll the dough up like a sheet of paper and with a sharp knife cut the desired width. Unroll and let dry. Cook in boiling soup or stock.

Apple Cobbler Wash, pare, core and quarter cooking apples. Put in a saucepan, add ½ cup of water and ½ cup of sugar. Cook until the apples are tender. Make a batter by creaming 2 tablespoons butter, add 2 tablespoons of sugar, 1 egg well beaten. Add ½ cup of flour sifted with 1/8 teaspoon of soda and a pinch of salt, alternately with ¼ cup of sour milk. Mix the batter well and pour over the hot fruit which has been poured into a baking dish. Bake in a moderately hot oven about 25 minutes. Serve with lemon sauce or cream.

Apple Fritter Pare and chop tart cooking apples. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and lemon juice and let stand a while. Make a batter of 1 1/3 cups of flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, a pinch of salt, sifted together. Add 2/3 cup of milk and 1 egg well beaten. Add the prepared fruit and drop by spoonfuls into fat hot enough to brown a cute of bread in 60 seconds. Cook until brown, drain on unglazed paper and serve hot with a sauce or confectioner’s sugar.

Butter Cakes 3 cups flour 1 teaspoon (scant) soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons sugar 1 1/3 cups sour milk Mix and sift the dry ingredients and add the milk to make a dough that can be handled. Turn on a floured board, roll ½ inch thick cut with a biscuit cutter and bake slowly on a well-greased griddle. Be sure to turn butter cakes only once. It will require about 10 minutes for them to bake.

Apple Strudel Rub 4 tablespoons butter into 1 ½ cups of flour, add a pinch of salt and 1 egg well beaten. Add just enough milk to make the consistency of pie dough. Mix 2 cups of prepared chopped apples with 1 cup buttered crumbs, a ½ cup chopped raisins, a ½ cup chopped almonds, ½ cup sugar and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Roll the dough thin and spread the fruit mixture over it. Roll up like a jelly roll and twist to resemble the figure eight. Bake in a moderate oven about 45 minutes. Serve hot or cold. Lemon sauce is a good addition.

Orange Marmalade 6 oranges 1 lemon 10 cups cold water 10 cups sugar Wash the fruit well and slice crosswise through the skin and pulp in as thin slices as possible. Take care to discard all seeds as they will make the mixture bitter. Add the cold water and let stand overnight. In the morning boil gently till the rind is tender. (This will take several hours.) Add the sugar and boil for 1 hour. Pour into sterilized glasses and when cool seal with a think layer of paraffin.

Southern Candied Yams 6 yams 1 tablespoon butter 1 1/3 cups brown sugar 1 ½ cup cold water Pinch of salt 1/3 lemon sliced very thin Pare the potatoes and cut in ½-inch slices. Lay in a baking dish, add the other ingredients, cover, bake in a moderate oven until the potato is tender. After ½ hour uncover.

Scalloped Apples Butter a baking dish, put in a layer of sliced tart apples, a layer of buttered crumbs and so on until 2 cups of apples, 1 cup of crumbs and 1 cup of sugar have been used. Bake in a moderate oven and serve with hard sauce. Scalloped apples are good served with meat, in which case they may be baked in individual ramekins, each ramekin being lined with a strip of bacon.

Apples Stuffed with Sausage Meat Wash and core large tart apples. Fill the cavities with sausage meat, place in a baking pan, pour a little hot water around the apples and bake in a hot oven, reducing the heat 10 minutes after the apples were put in. These apples are excellent served with scalloped potatoes or creamed ones.

I’d love to hear if you try out any of these recipes! Take photos and I might post them on the blog.

Visit the Recipe Wednesday Masterpost for the all the Recipe Wednesday posts, and the Indexed Recipe Wednesday Masterpost for all the recipes broken down individually!

[ Support SRNY through Patreon and Ko-Fi ] And join us on Discord for fun conversation! I also have an Etsy with up-cycled nerdy crafts

This post is the result of meeting a Patreon Goal. Thank you to all my wonderful Patreon subscribers for enabling the return of the Recipe Wednesday posts!

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senpai-no-lie · 4 years

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Window Pane Cookies

I try to only post recipes and such on Tumblr that I think are reasonably reproducible for people without fancy equipment, so no pictures of my bomb rotisserie chicken.

However, today's subject is window pane cookies! I'm going on a day (or so) trip to Lousiana tonight/tomorrow to visit dear friends, which necessitates baking as a gift for hosting me. Along with the more standard fare of chocolate chip cookies and brownies, I went for these cookies (I would've done pound cake, but it is very resource intensive and I am broke atm lol)

Cookie Base: Spiced Shortbread

You could use sugar cookie dough, I suppose, but I find shortbread to have a richer flavor and be less finicky than sugar cookie dough. I take my traditional shortbread cookie recipe and add spices so it pairs extra well with the butterscotch, but we'll get to that

Ingredients:

Oven, preheated to 350 F

1/2 cup softened butter (2, 8-ounce sticks of butter)

1/2 cup of sugar

1 tsp vanilla (or any extract you'd like; you can double this amount too, if you'd like)

2 cups of all purpose flour (I imagine the type of flour you use is pretty flexible

Spices

Candy/Sprinkles

Spices?

Yes! The amount and type I use depends on my mood. Spices could be a sachet of herbal or chai tea, cinnamon, and so on and so forth.

Typically I do around one teaspoon of cinnamon, but in the picture above I did (2 tsp cinnamon, 1/5 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp clove, and 1/8 tsp cloves-- so approximately pumpkin spice proportions)

Candy?

This is also pretty flexible! I typically use butterscotch instead of the more typical jolly ranchers, but I found those granulated sprinkles work just fine too. Do not reccomend using regular sugar-- it doesn't melt too well. You could also use jam/jelly, though I'm not sure how well it'll stay in the hole.

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 F, if not already done

If butter is not already softened from sitting on the counter a while, place both sticks in the microwave for 15-20 seconds. We do NOT want them melted, so be cautious

Put your to-be-smashed candy in a paper bag and take it out into your garage, place where you've got hard floors. Beat the hell out of it with a rubber mallet until it's powdered. I usually use around 12 candies.

Come back inside to the kitchen. In a bowl mix butter and sugar together until it looks more like a spread than a gritty mess

Stir in vanilla and spices

Stir in flour in 1/2 to 1 cup batches until incorporated. It's best not to overmix cookie dough-- it can toughen it up

Pull a sheet of parchment paper to cover your countertops and sprinkle some flour onto it. Plop your dough ball onto there and pat it, your hands, and the rolling pin with flour. Roll out the dough until it seems like an acceptable thickness

Using a biscuit cutter (around two inch diameter) or a large cookie cutter, cut out the outer shape. Use a smaller cookie cutter (or freehand it with a knife; whatever works) to make a space for the candy.

Place these "doughnuts" onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper

Take your smashed candy/sprinkles and painstakingly fill the hole (I used a 1/8 teaspoon for precision, though time consuming. A spoon is fine too if you don't care about the cookies being perfect)

Bake for 11 minutes and allow to cool completely before removing from pan

You should be able to reroll the dough and easily make 2 dozen or more cookies.

I made these with just butterscotch! Sky's the limit.

#cooking with kylie #cooking #cookiee #baking #window pane cookies #recipes

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jenniferkatie20 · 4 years

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLNxlIkq5TA

Halloween Cupcakes

Chocolate cupcake recipe

Makes 15 Cupcakes

Ingredient’s

113g unsalted butter (room temperature)

225g sugar

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1 egg

320mls Buttermilk

235g Self raising flour

½ teaspoon of baking powder

¼ of a teaspoon of salt

112g cocoa powder

For the frosting

Unsalted butter (room temperature)

Vanilla extract

Icing sugar

Cocoa powder

Method

Firstly preheat your oven to 150 degrees Celsius, then grab yourself a standard muffin tin and line it with paper cupcake cases.

In a large mixing bowl or stand mixture cream together the butter (room temperature) and sugar for a couple of minutes.

Next whisk 1 egg and add to the creamed butter and sugar also add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract and mix well

Now sieve the flour and cocoa powder into a separate mixing bowl also add in ¼ of a teaspoon of salt and ½ a teaspoon of baking powder into the dry ingredients, give it a quick mix.

To the wet ingredients add in ½ the buttermilk and mix well then add in ½ the dry ingredients mix again then do the same with the remaining wet and dry ingredients.

Once the cake batter is well incorporated and it is smooth with no lumps, divide the mixture evenly between the cupcake cases. You only need to fill each cake case ¾ of the way I use a medium size ice cream scoop which is the perfect amount.

Bake in the center of your oven for 28 minutes. To test if they are done insert a toothpick or folk into the center of a cupcake if it comes out clean its done if there is a little cake batter stuck to the pick, pop them back into the oven for a couple more minutes.

Once baked let them cool completely on a wire cooling rack.

For the delicious chocolate buttercream frosting.

Into a large mixing bowl or stand mixer add in your butter (room temperature) and cream it for a few minutes using the paddle attachment or a wooden spoon.

While the butter is being creamed measure out and sieve your icing sugar and cocoa powder into a separate mixing bowl and set to one side.

Next add in your vanilla extract and give it a quick mix.

Add in your dry ingredients a little at a time and mix well. Continue mixing until the frosting is thick and creamy. Last but not least add in 1 tablespoon of milk and give it one more mix until it’s all incorporated.

All that’s left is to frost your cupcakes and enjoy

For the glaze icing

225g icing sugar

A few drops of vanilla extract

2-3tbsp water

Food colouring (optional)

Sift the icing sugar into a bowl. Add a few drops of vanilla extract

Using a spatula, gradually stir in the water a little at a time, until the mixture is a smooth thick and is a runny consistency. You’ll know when it’s ready to ice your cupcakes when the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. If you want to add a bit of colour Mix in a few drops of food colouring, and your ready to ice your cakes.

Witches Cauldron

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Chocolate butter cream frosting

Green glaze icing

liquorice laces

candy eyes

colorful sprinkles

To put your cupcake together

First grab yourself a chocolate cupcake and ice a thin layer of chocolate buttercream.

Then using the liquorice laces go around the edge creating the top of a cauldron.

Next add in a teaspoon of green glaze icing to the center of the cake making sure not to go over the edges of the cauldron.

Add in a few candy eyes and colorful sprinkles of your choice.

Then last but not least add on a liquorice lace to create a handle for your cauldron and that’s it your witch’s cauldron is complete. Now you just have to make a few more and serve.

Spider Cupcake

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Chocolate butter cream

Crushed Oreos (with the cream removed)

liquorice laces

candy eyes

To put your cupcake together

This spider is so easy and fun to make simply ice the top of your cupcakes with chocolate butter cream frosting.

Then top each cake with crushed Oreos.

Add on two candy eyes.

Lastly cut 8 spider legs from a length of liquorice lace and add 4 legs to each side of the cupcake.

That’s its your creepy crawly spider cupcakes are ready to serve.

Grave stone

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Chocolate buttercream frosting

Chocolate sprinkles

Biscuits shaped like grave stones (any biscuit you like)

Grey glaze icing

125g Melted white chocolate (for the lettering)

To put your cupcake together

First thing to do to make these grave stone cupcakes is to ice each cake with chocolate butter cream frosting and add a few chocolate sprinkles to top each one.

Next thing to do is cover the top half of each biscuit with grey icing. Place each one on a sheet of parchment paper to dry a little.

Now its time to melt some white chocolate I melted about ½ a bar of white chocolate roughly 125g.

Using a tooth pick write the letters R.I.P onto each grave stone.

To place each grave stone into each cupcake you will first have to cut a slit in to each cake and then insert the grave stone.

Once you’ve done this you are ready to serve.

Vampire

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

White glaze icing

Red candy laces

Candy eye balls

To put your cupcake together

These vampire cupcakes are brilliant to make with your little ones. The first thing you need to do to make your vampire faces is glaze each cupcake with white glaze icing.

Next you will need to cut some red candy laces for the mouth and blood drips on each side of the vampire’s mouth and add them onto each cake. Then lastly add two candy eyes. There you have it a fun and easy to put together vampire face.

Spider on web

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Black glaze icing

125g of melted white chocolate

Candy gummy spiders

To put your cupcake together

First grab yourself a cupcake and ice it with the black glaze.

Then using a tooth pick and dipping the end into the melted white chocolate, create chocolate circles on top of your glazed cupcake working from the center outwards. Once you have about four circles on top, using the tooth pick start from the center and drag in a straight line gently to the edge do these six to seven times. When you have finish you should have a spider web pattern on your cupcake.

Last but not least place a gummy spider to one side of your cupcake. Now repeat with your remaining cupcakes and serve.

Worms in dirt

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Chocolate buttercream icing

Chocolate sprinkles

Gummy worms

To put your cupcake together

This cupcake is supper easy and fun to make. First thing to do to make our worms in dirt cupcake is to ice each cake with chocolate butter cream frosting and add a few chocolate sprinkles to the top each one. Now make a hole in the center of each cupcake using a knife or fork handle. Next place a gummy worm into each hole and lay the head of the worm across the top of the cupcake. That’s it your cupcakes are complete, now all that’s left to do is eat and enjoy.

Squashed spider

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

White glaze icing

Raspberry syrup

Spider gummy sweets

To put your cupcake together

The first thing to do to make your squashed spider cupcakes is to glaze each cake with a teaspoon of white glaze icing.

Once the icing is set (this should only take about 10 minutes) add a gummy spider to the top of each cake then squirt a little raspberry syrup over the spider. This cupcake made me cringe when I added the raspberry sauce to the top of each cake. Its definitely a crowd pleaser for any Halloween party.

Ghost

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Chocolate buttercream frosting

Chocolate sprinkles

Biscuits shaped like a ghost (any biscuit you like)

White glaze icing

Candy eyes

To put your cupcake together

First thing to do to make these spooky ghost cupcakes is to ice each cake with chocolate butter cream frosting and add a few chocolate sprinkles to top each one.

Next thing to do is cover the top half of each biscuit with white glaze icing. Place each one on a sheet of parchment paper. Now it’s time to add two candy eyes to each ghost then leave the icing to dry a little.

To place each ghost into each cupcake you will first have to cut a slit in to each cake and then insert the ghost cookie.

Once you’ve done this, you are ready to serve.

Zombie

Ingredients

Chocolate cupcakes

Candy sprinkles (any sprinkles you like)

Green glaze icing

Candy eyes

Liquorice laces

To put your cupcake together

First thing to do to make these zombie cupcakes is to cut a few short lengths of liquorice laces to make the zombies hair.

Now ice each cupcake with green glaze icing.

Then add two candy eyes and a few strands of liquorice lace hair to each cupcake.

To complete our zombie faces, add a few sprinkles to make a mouth shape, I used shiny pale blue sprinkles for mine but you can use any color you like.

And there you have it, zombie cupcake faces, a brilliant addition to any spooky Halloween party or get together.

#Halloween #halloween treats #halloweenfoodideas #recipes #easy to make #trick or treat #fun cooking #youtuber #food blogger #lets cook #autumn recipes #foodie #food vibes #simple cooking #food hacks #cooking with kids

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loridrabbles · 5 years

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Birthday | Fives x Reader

Fives is chaotic. The reader tries to do some baking. It doesn't turn out well.

The alarm clock rang as it always does at 5am. No big deal. It was time for Fives to get up and leave, so (y/n) just rolled over and fell back asleep. As she dozed off she heard him slam the off button on the alarm clock as he always does before he groans and slides out from underneath the covers.

The sun was up, sheets of golden rays shone through the window and (y/n)'s eyes fluttered open. She looked at her clock which read around 9am. She sighed to herself, pulling the covers up closer to her face.

"Ahh. The bed is so warm. I don't wanna get up. It's....unusually warm." The thought. As she lay there, she felt Fives put his arm around her and snuggle into her back.

"Morning, baby." She groaned, still half asleep.

"Morning, love." He sighed back, kissing her on the back of the head.

"Wait." She thought to herself. "Its 9am on a friday morning." She rolled over to face him, him being half asleep himself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Hmm...yeah." He sighed, his eyes still closed. "What are they gonna do? Fire me?"

"You're such a bad influence." She laughed, cuddling up to him.

"What are we gonna do today?" He asked finally opening his eyes. She always got lost in them.

"Well, I was gonna do some baking to surprise you when you got home, but I guess you can help me now."

(Y/n) set up the kitchen ready to do some baking and tied her favorite blue apron around her neck and back. She handed Fives her old dark denim one he proudly wore.

"Ok ok ok. So your birthday is coming up. Birthday?" She asked.

"Mm I like to call it tank exit day but birthday works too." He answered making her laugh.

"Well I wanna make you a confetti cake."

"I've never heard of that in my life. I've had chocolate, vanilla, angel food cake, coffee cake, tiramisu cake, ice cream ca-"

"Are you just going to list all the cakes you've ever had?"

"Yeah I'm not done. Red velvet cake, yellow cake." He paused, looking at (y/n) who was staring at him. "Ok I'm done."

"Ok well I wanted to bake enough so we could have everyone over. Who shares a birthday with you?"

"Hmmm no one actually. Sometimes we're un tanked several days apart."

"Stop saying that!" She said, squishing his cheeks with her hands. "Ok you're helping me and you're very chaotic sometimes and this could be a disaster. What if it turns out bad? I don't wanna serve that to people. If it's bad we just won't serve it to anyone."

"Or it could be a prank and we'll serve it and it'll be bad on purpose." He said.

(Y/n) got to work measuring out all the ingredients and added flour to the bowl, followed by sugar. Fives noticed the bag of sugar on the counter.

"Can I snack on this?"

"Absolutely no-" She tried to stop him, but he had already dumped some into his mouth.

"Ask me for the sugar."

"No." She said, measuring the rest of the dry ingredients.

"Ask me for the sugar!" He demanded.

"Uhg. Can I have the sugar." She asked. Fives gave her a kiss on the cheek. She laughed. "You're not funny. And that was wet and sugary."

"Its the sugar."

"Ok can you add the milk?"

"Yess. How much."

"A quarter cup."

"Its ok if I do a lot more though right?"

"No. No!"

"Oops. That was like half a cup."

"Did you add the baking soda?" She asked, pouring the mix into a pan. He gasped.

"No I definitely didn't."

"Oh no! They're gonna be birthday biscuits. Oh wait I think I did. We'll find out.

"They come out like bricks."

Later on, (y/n) had the frosting made, which didn't really turn out very well, but it tasted good so they thought it was alright. They cleared off the counter while waiting for the cake to cool.

"Wanna see me do a box jump onto the counter?" Fives asked.

"What?'

"Wanna see me do a box jump onto the counter?"

"No!" She laughed.

"Please."

"Fives, you're not going to do a box jump onto the counter!"

"Its my birthday.'

"No!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"Ok fine. Can we frost the cake now?"

"Yes." She sighed, exhausted.

As they frosted, the cake started to fall apart. It wasn't totally cooled and the frosting was melting. Any piping decorations began to slide off the side onto the lazy suzan.

"Hey can I write fivs? Live Fives without the E. But in cursive." He asked.

"Yes. If you want." She laughed.

They stood back admiring their work. Well, they were disappointed in their work.

"Fives, it's so soggy. You put in too much milk."

"We're not serving this to people." They both laughed.

#star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #the clone wars fanfiction #the clone wars imagine #clone trooper x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine #star wars #fives x reader #arc trooper fives #clone trooper fives #fives #fluff #totally not jenna and julen

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art-of-manliness · 4 years

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Take Tonight’s Dinner Up a Notch With These Stupidly Easy Biscuits

Biscuits have an unfair reputation as being hard to make. Yes, the flaky, perfectly round variety are indeed somewhat of a pain. (And those Pillsbury rolls in a can are darn good.) But most people aren’t familiar with a whole category called drop biscuits. These biscuits are scone-like in both texture and appearance, but taste just like the delicious fresh biscuit you’re craving. Also, they’re crazy easy. If you’ve never made anything in your life, you can make these biscuits. It takes longer for the oven to preheat than it does to mix them up. Make them tonight for dinner and impress your loved ones (or yourself!). How to Make Simple Drop Biscuits * Prep time: ~10 minutes (likely even less) * Total time from start to finish: 25 minutes (15 of which is given for the oven to preheat) * Yields: 6 biscuits (two per person seems about right for adults) Ingredients This recipe can easily be scaled up, mainly if entertaining a bigger group or if you’re feeling especially hungry. In general, though, I prefer to keep it small since leftover biscuits are never as good the next day. They’re so quick and easy you might as well just make them fresh whenever you want them. * 1 cup all-purpose flour * 1/2 tablespoon baking powder * 1 tablespoon sugar (adds just a touch of sweetness) * Pinch of salt (1/8-1/4 teaspoon if you’re a compulsive measurer) * 1/4 cup melted butter (I used salted, but any will do) * 1/2 cup milk (whole preferred, but any will do) 1. Preheat oven to 450. Wait until it hits at least 200 degrees before doing the rest; you don’t want the batter sitting too long before baking. 2. Melt butter. This is a pro-tip, as most people are likely just doing it in the microwave. I always hate doing that because of the butter explosions and uneven melting; one part will be boiling while some butter remains unmelted. Just do it on the stovetop in a small pot (especially if you have a gas range since it heats up almost instantly); it only takes a couple minutes and melts way more evenly. Once melted — using either the microwave or stovetop — let it cool just a bit. Which is why I’m putting this step so early in the directions. 3. Mix dry ingredients. Add flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt to a small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork. 4. Add wet ingredients. Add milk and butter (order doesn’t really matter) to the mixing bowl. 5. Mix it up. Using a spatula, mix up the batter. It should come together pretty easily and end up with a consistency that would equate to a really thick pancake batter. 6. Dollop onto baking sheet. Ideal dollop size. Using a big spoon (if you have two spoon sizes in your drawer, use the big one), “drop” a large dollop onto a greased baking sheet. This is where the term drop biscuit comes from. You’re going for 6 biscuits, so portion it out accordingly. If there’s extra in the mixing bowl, just add it to the smallest biscuits. 7. Bake 10 minutes. Browned edges. Perfect. You want the edges to be browning when you pull them out. 8. Enjoy warm! Biscuits are best served basically right out of the oven. Let them sit just a few minutes before dishing up. They’re delicious and fluffy on their own, but of course can also accommodate butter, jam, etc. Seriously, these are so good. The post Take Tonight’s Dinner Up a Notch With These Stupidly Easy Biscuits appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/RQRSY9

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catchester · 4 years

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12 Days of Christmas

Title: Eleven Pipers Piping

Authors: @evieplease and @catchester

Which character: Actor!Tom and OFC Rocky

Genre: Humour/Explicit

Fic Summary: Tom and Rocky spend their first Christmas as a couple and Rocky meets Tom’s Mum for the first time. Expect 12 gifts, too much boozy, bad puns and lots of fun!

Rating: Mature

Previous Chapters: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138390/chapters/40304798

Chapter 14 - 11 Pipers Piping

I turned up at Tom’s house half expecting 11 bagpipers to be waiting for me. I don't know why, flutists or something were probably more likely, but my brain was stuck on bagpipes. Or maybe just men in kilts with bagpipes. Of course the only man in a kilt that my imagination could conjure was Tom. Mmm. Tom in a kilt...

I knew Tom wasn't likely to have literal Pipers Piping, but other than plumbing, I just couldn't think of a play on Piping. Well, unless he wanted me to clean out his pipes, maybe. My eyes widened. Eleven times!? Hmm. It would be a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it...

It was the weekend, so other than emergency calls to worry about, I was free. I’d started using the answering service Tom told me about, and they only passed on genuine calls so I shouldn't have any time wasters.

After being dragged out of Tom’s warm bed, and more importantly out of Tom’s warm arms by a thoroughly plugged drain at six bloody AM this morning, I’d been shopping and making plans for my gift tomorrow.

I’d popped home and packed some clean clothes so I could stay the weekend. Luckily I think most people were still recovering from Christmas and New Years (not to mention that they were probably also much poorer after the holidays) so business was always slow the first week or two of January. Not that I was complaining.

Well, yes. I was complaining. I’d have much rather stayed in bed with Tom! But outside of that complaint, I was doing quite well, all things considered. Tom’s dosing us with Paracetamol and water before bed last night worked a treat. I felt far better than I deserved. And, oh dear god, did I actually sing in public last night?

A post-it stuck to the door said to let myself in, which I did, calling out for him as I dumped my bag on the stairs. Oh my god, what is that wonderful smell?

“In the kitchen,” Tom answered and I followed his voice and my nose.

I was stunned for a moment, as every surface seemed to be covered in baking sheets filled with something that smelled divinely like ginger and sugar.

Tom was wearing his ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron and looking very pleased with himself.

“Did a sack of flour piss you off or do you have a bake sale coming up?” I asked, following the apron’s instructions and then wiping at a smear of flour off my cheek.

“Neither,” Tom chuckled. “This, my darling, is day eleven.” He gestured around at the disaster covering his kitchen counters. Mixing bowls, flour, eggshells, wooden spoons, measuring spoons, spoon spoons, it looked a shambles.

I was still none the wiser.

“We’re piping icing onto gingerbread houses!” Tom nearly crowed, with the biggest grin on his face

It wasn't what I’d been expecting but it sounded fun and a slow smile formed on my lips. Now that I looked at the baking trays, I could see some had a triangle top, so they were obviously the ends of the houses. The rectangles and squares were the roofs and walls.

“Did you bake all this yourself?” I stopped myself calling him ‘clever boy’ at the last moment. I was grinning as widely as Tom.

“I did,” he said happily. “Mum gave me a recipe and talked me through most of it. The first bake should be cool enough now, but I made some spares too, in case of breakages.”

He seemed very proud of his feat, and I was oddly proud of him too. He was practically bouncing on his toes.

“So have you got any I can try?” I asked, stretching up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

“You mean eat?”

“Yeah, of course! I wasn’t going to feed it to the birds! They can bloody well make their own!” The scent of ginger was tantalising me and reminding me that my protein bar breakfast had been ages ago. Ages, I tell you!

“Aah, well, yes. I did have a couple of minor mishaps.” He reached behind him and brought out a tray of cracked gingerbread slabs. “I dropped it transferring it to the cooling rack.” He rubbed the back of his neck and his ears went a bit pink, as he held the tray out to me.

I nabbed a piece and tried it. It was lovely, slightly spicier than ginger nut biscuits usually were, but not bad at all.

“That’s bloody lovely!” I told him.

He grinned like a loon at my praise.

“The icing’s nearly ready, I’m just mixing the green now. So why don’t you make us both a coffee and we should be ready to get started.” Tom turned away and my heart melted at the sight of a large floury handprint on the back of his trousers. Something melted anyway. I shook my head.

“Sounds like a plan.”

As I sat at the table, I saw that Tom had three icing bags—two white and one red—ready to go, and a selection of sweets he’d set up in small bowls, next to two piles of gingerbread house components.

“Do you have any experience icing?” he asked as he sat next to me and put the green icing between us.

“Well, icing in the shower sometimes. And I watch that, what’s it called? The Bloody Great Baking Show or something?”

He shook his head at my bad joke and explained how to assemble the house, sticking it together with icing at the seams and along the foundations. It took us a few tries but we eventually had fairly solid structures.

“There, that looks stable,” I said, gingerly removing my hands, afraid a light breeze would collapse my creation.

“No, it looks like a house,” Tom deadpanned. “I’m not nearly skilled enough to bake a stable!”

I laughed. “Fine, next year we’ll get your mum’s help and make a manger scene.”

“What will we make the animals out of? Not to mention the Baby Jesus.”

“Do they make Baby Jesus moulds?”

“I doubt it. We could use marzipan, I suppose.”

“Nuh uh, not unless you want Baby Jesus’s head bitten off.”

He gave me a weird look.

“I love marzipan,” I said, shrugging as if decapitating baby deities was totally normal and defensible.

Tom was focusing on his house so I swiped a bit of broken gingerbread and quickly drew a heart in red icing, then I put a cupid’s bow through it using white icing, and passed it to Tom.

“A sweetheart for my sweetheart,” I smiled.

“Aww,” he said as he accepted it. “I’ve known you a year and this is the first time I’m seeing your sappy, sentimental side.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Well, make the most of it, it only happens once a year, at Christmas.”

“When the Christmas spirit fills you?”

“Yeah, but I learned to exorcise that bitch years ago, so it doesn't stay for long.

He chuckled. “You can’t fool me any longer Rocky, I know you’re ooey and gooey on the inside, now.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You take that back!”

“Nope.” He reached a long arm out, wrapping around my waist and pulling me in tight. “You’re well and truly caught now, love. And there’s nothing you can do about it!”

He laughed maniacally while I struggled to get loose of the entwining octopus tentacles. Well, it seemed as if he had eight arms!

Then he bent and kissed me. Well, what else could I do? I stopped struggling and snogged him back. The octopus magically turned back into a man when he lifted his head and grinned down into my dazed eyes.

“Back to work!” Tom turned, and gave me a little push toward my side of the table, and picked up his icing bag, intently examining his roof before squeezing a judicious dollop onto the corner in an effort to make icicles hanging from the edge.

Fine. I went back to work, carefully shingling my house with smarties.

You would think that piping icing was a relatively neat job but apparently not. At least not when I do it. My gingerbread house looked pretty neat for a first timer, with roof tiles, windows and a pathway outlined in white, green for accents like the window shutters and door, and red for the path to the front door. The house and garden were trimmed with sweets, jelly tots lined the pathway and Smarties accented the roof.

But while my house looked pretty tidy, I did not.

“Look at you!” Tom said, laughing. “You’re a mess! You even have icing in your hair!”

“Don’t sugar coat it, will you?” I shot back, but I wasn't upset. He was right. Luckily I was only in jeans and a sweater.

That didn’t mean I would let him get away with it.

“Aww. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ginger your feelings!”

That did it. Yep.

My house was nearly finished and there was loads of icing left in my bag, so I aimed my nozzle at his head and squeezed the bag with all my might. I was a pretty good shot too, I got him right in the ear!

He turned to me, looking utterly shocked! As well he should, he had a great green blob of icing on his ear!

“Look at you, you’re a mess!” I was nearly crying with stopping myself laughing, trying to sound stern and utterly failing. “You even have icing in your hair!”

“I can’t believe you just did that!” His shock soon turned to a delighted smile and the nozzle of his piping bag turned in my direction.

I fired too, and we doused each other in icing. I grabbed a second bag of icing and ran around to the other side of the table to try and escape Tom. We were both laughing, but fortunately, we both ran out of ammo pretty quickly. We resorted to throwing the empty bags, but by unspoken agreement, we didn't use the gingerbread houses as projectiles.

That left me with only one option, to smush the icing Tom was already wearing. I ran around the table, sliding in some of the icing decorating the floor. I grabbed the lump on Tom’s shoulder and managed to smear it on his face before he could stop me, but then he grabbed my wrists, holding them out wide. While he wasn't a lot stronger than me—thank you manual labour—we were evenly matched, hence stalemate.

Unless I wanted to unman him, and I really didn’t. I like Tom’s bollocks right where they are. And fully operational, thank you!

We both laughed, and Tom leaned down to lick the smear of icing from my cheek as I ducked and shrieked, trying to wipe the wet spit off on my shoulder.

“I can’t believe I’m still having food fights in my 30s!” He shook his head in disbelief, even though he was still giggling.

I was cackling too hard to reply since he had a lovely green smear of icing over one eye. We fed off each other’s laughter to the point that when he released me and I tried again to rub his icing in, my hands were just useless things flopping around on the ends of my wrists.

“Oh god,” I finally managed to say. My sides were aching so much, so I needed to make an effort to calm down. “I can’t believe we did that!”

“We? You started it!” He really does do a very good offended sniff.

“Yes, and you joined in, mate! I wasn’t the only one flinging icing about like a mad monkey!”

We sniggered as we looked around the kitchen, sobering as we both contemplated the clean up, each still giggling occasionally.

“I’m really glad we weren't making bangers and mash! Can you imagine cleaning up the gravy?” Tom glanced up at the ceiling, checking that we hadn’t decorated that as well.

“Maybe I should get Twelve Cleaners Cleaning tomorrow instead?” I said a little wistfully as I stared at our mess. Tom shook his head and sighed.

“Well, we’ve had our fun. Now it’s time to pay the piper, I suppose!”

I picked up a nearby empty, messy bag and lobbed it at him, making a rude noise at him. Piper, indeed!

Tom just looked pleased with himself, smirking at me as he went to the tall cabinet and handed me a mop. After moving our gingerbread houses to place of safety, he grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the table and sides that had icing on them. It was a relatively easy job because it dissolves easily in water. I did the floor twice just to be sure though, and Tom began cleaning up our icing bags and other paraphernalia.

We finished, and I returned our gingerbread houses to the kitchen table so we could better admire them. We both got our phones out and snapped some pictures, so they were immortalized. I’ll be sending the one of Tom standing over his gingerbread house looking as pleased as punch to his Mum.

“Come on, let’s clean ourselves up,” Tom suggested, so we stripped down to our underwear and shoved our clothes directly in the washing machine. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself and dancing it place while I waited for Tom to start the washer. The room was just a bit chilly for prancing around nearly naked.

“You were just looking for an excuse to use the bathtub, weren’t you?” he joked.

“I’m always looking for excuses to get you naked, but your bathtub is a definite bonus!” I said with my best ‘duh’ expression.

He laughed and shook his head at my antics as he headed for the stairs.

“Hey,” I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He stopped, looking puzzled.

“For this.” I waved my hand around the room “It was really fun. And I mean the houses. I know you baked for hours and I’m sorry you didn't get a chance to finish yours.”

He shook his head and stepped closer, put a hand on my elbow and bent his head to look me in the eye.

“Do you know what I love about you?”

“My boobs?”

“Well, yes,” he admitted, nodding ruefully, “but more than that, it’s how fun you make things. Decorating gingerbread houses would have been fun, but you found a way to make me laugh so hard I won’t need to do crunches for a week.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. When he pulled away he had that soft smile on his lips, the one that makes my knees go weak. “I love you, Rocky.”

My heart nearly stopped when he said that, and then it lurched into a pounding rhythm. I was surprised that my feet kept following him, because everything in the universe had stopped and held its breath in the few seconds it took me to open my mouth.

“I… love your bathtub!”

Tom chuckled and started up the stairs, my hand clasped in his. My heart was galloping, my stomach churning, and my head spinning.

Yep. It must be love. Or the flu.

I watched the play of the muscles in his thighs and arse as he climbed the stairs. A sense of joy and rightness bloomed under my ribs, and it wasn’t all due to watching the prettiest piece of English Countryside in all christendom flex and stretch inches in front of my face.

Those three, little, terrifying words had slid smoothly from his lovely mouth, directed at me! And I wasn’t terrified.

Maybe in shock. Except I wasn’t, because I felt the same way. Have done for a while, come to think.

Somehow my friend with benefits, this Posh Idiot, has grown on me, like a fungus. No, wait. Fungus is too low class. Truffle. Definitely a truffle.

Tom dropped my hand and started the shower.

“Better rinse off all the sticky stuff or we’ll be swimming in it in the bathtub, hey?” I nodded distractedly.

He turned and I found myself blankly staring at the second best bit of English Countryside in christendom. Except I was obviously wrong the first time. Or maybe the best bit is whatever bit I happen to be staring at?

Tom put a finger under my chin and tipped my face up. There was a slightly alarmed look on his face.

“What, no wise cracks about ‘sticky stuff’? Are you alright darling?”

I shrugged as I stepped into the shower and straight under the hot spray while Tom stared perplexed after me. The heat felt so good on my chilled skin, I closed my eyes and turned my face up to the water.

Tom stepped in, waiting until I pulled my head out from under the stream of water to ask, “Now, what are you thinking, Rocky?” I wiped the water streaming down my face and pushed my wet hair back.

“You’re a truffle.” Water droplets flew from my lips as I spoke

Tom barked a surprised laugh.

“A what?”

“A truffle. Regular old mushrooms are too common, too basic.”

Tom blinked a few times as he worked it out.

“Ah. You’ve grown on me as well, Rocky.” His smile went a little crooked and his eyes softened. Tom gets me.

In that moment, two things were decided.

The first is that I really needed to stop fannying around and get Tom out to meet my family. Because this doesn’t feel like FWB any longer. I mean, it is. We’re friends, oddly enough. And the benefits are out of this world! But he took me to meet his mother. And his niece. So.

I can’t see Tom introducing a FWB to his niece, now I think about it, no matter how competitive he was about finding a Nine Ladies Dancing activity.

I pushed Tom gently under the shower spray and he tilted his head up, letting the water wet his hair and stream down his face, rinsing the icing off, green and red swirling down his body and into the drain.

Except for the persistent green blob on his ear. I reached up and wiped it away. His eyes blinked open and then his hands cupped my face, staring into it as if memorising me. That was alright, I was doing the same. I wished I had a camera to hand. But water and electronics...not a good combo.

His eyelashes were drawn into those little russet points, wet from the spray, tiny drops of water glinting like minute diamonds in the light. His eyes were sliding into that steel blue colour.

Then his mouth settled softly on mine, moving tenderly over my lips.

I gripped his hips, holding on as I stretched upward on my toes for more, nibbling on his lip. He likes when I do that. Oh, I really shouldn’t be smug when he makes that noise. Really.

His tongue surged into my mouth, caressing and demanding as one large hand pressed against my lower back, pulling me tight against his body and holding my belly against his very hard cock.

His other hand found my boob, a feathering touch of his knuckles on the underside, and circling around and around.

This was Tom, playing my body like an instrument, no, like the whole damn orchestra! Piano and pianissimo, rough and sweet. When he softened his kiss into little teasing licks and kisses and moved down my neck, the hand on my boob squeezed and kneaded firmly, sucking every bit of my attention to the lightning charge building up in my body.

I moved my hands around his body, gripping the hard globes of his arse and feeling the muscles flex under them.

Tom gasped into my mouth and ground his cock against my belly, lighting me up.

I whined and pouted at him when he pulled away, even stamping my foot a little. Dammit, I wanted more kisses! And some other things!

“Patience, my dear,” he counselled cheerily, kissing the tip of my nose. I snapped my teeth at him. That sooo wasn’t the kiss I had in mind! He left me there, getting out of the shower to stopper the tub and start it filling.

“Patience is for people who aren’t snogging you, Thomas!” I called after him. He was back almost before I finished my sentence, chuckling and slipping his arms around my waist, nuzzling my neck.

I threw my arms around his neck. “You were gone forever!”

“And yet, here I am!” He smiled and I collected another kiss on my nose. I opened my mouth to complain and yelped as he spun me round back to front and picked up the shampoo.

Tom spent the next year massaging my scalp and washing my hair whilst I moaned and groaned. Things might’ve been happening below, urgent things, but everything waits when Tom’s long fingers dig into my scalp. And when he finished rinsing my hair, he started with the shower gel, cleaning every little, and not so little, bit of me. He really is quite good at that whole massage thing.

Then it was my turn. As tempted as I was to push him down and fall on his dick, I played almost fair, washing his hair in turn. But there was none of that massage nonsense! Tom chuckled when I slapped the shower off as soon as he was rinsed and turned him, pushing him out of the shower ahead of me, and straight over to the tub.

Fortunately, deliciously, Tom’s tub is extra long, and extra deep. Rather like him! So it hadn’t overflowed while we showered off the icing. Also, since I had cleverly talked him into upgrading his hot water heating to a tankless system, we hadn’t run out of hot water, even with both shower and tub going.

I gestured a ta-da at the tub, inviting him to get himself in, but he wasn’t having it. Tom literally swept me up in his arms and deposited me in all that lovely hot water, though probably with a lot more screeching and splashing than planned.

“In, in, get in!” I demanded, running out of patience and slapping the water, sending a wave straight into my face and spluttering while Tom held his ribs laughing hard at me.

This means war! I smirked at him, and laid back, running my hand between my boobs, and trailing a finger around one nipple.

“I guess I’ll just have to take care of things myself…” I said with a put upon pout.

“Oh, be my guest, darling.” He folded his arms with a smirk and leaned against the wall next to the tub for a good view. Tom waved genially for me to start.

Hmm. It’s not like I haven’t fantasised doing this. Many times. The look in his eyes as my hands lifted to drip water onto my boobs sent an arrow of heat through my body. I bit my lip at the sensual feel of my hands on the goospimpling flesh. Circling my boobs with my hands I watched Tom stare hungrily at me.

I might not be a public exhibitionist, but knowing it was Tom watching me turned me right the fuck up to eleven.

Gripping one boob and moving the other hand slowly down my body while I watched Tom’s eyes hood and darken sent a wave of heat over me that wasn’t from the hot water. Oh, not at all.

I slid my fingers into my folds and let my head fall back, concentrating on the sensation of the water washing over the most sensitive bits of me. I let my fingers brush lightly over the inner lips of my pussy, soft and warm and tantalising.

Firming my touch, I gasped as my finger slid over the top of my clit for the first time. My eyes snapped open when Tom groaned.

He stood there watching me, gripping his fully erect cock. I shivered a little at the thrill that his eyes delivered, and the promise in them. He was so beautiful, so hot, and so mine. My eyes wandered over his long runners body, tracing the defined muscles in his thighs, the solid, hard belly, the notches at his hips, the veins standing out on his forearms, and I could feel myself getting wetter.

God, I wanted him, wanted his hands on me, his mouth on me, those hot blue eyes staring into mine. I was picking up a rhythm as I thought about all the ways he could touch me, the water beginning to ripple around my movements.

I wanted him so bad. And I knew, however hot it got me that he was watching, I wouldn’t be able to finish. If I’d truly been alone, imagining Tom watching as I touched myself it would have taken me only minutes to get off, no toys required!

But with Tom there all I could think of was him touching me, and he was right there. I writhed my frustration as I looked at him, communicating my need to him.

“Tom…” I breathed, and he pushed off the wall, climbing in behind me and lifted me onto his lap. His hands closed over mine, pressing harder on my flesh. One hand squeezed my hand over my boob. I could feel my nipple digging into my palm, and his cock like an iron bar at my back. His other hand over mine, travelled down and pushed my finger inside me, along with his.

My head fell back on his shoulder and his lips caressed my neck as he murmured filthy things in my ear about how soft I am, how good I feel, how scalding hot my pussy is when he slides into me. Oh, dear god.

Tom’s hand kept pushing our fingers into me, and grinding our palms over my clit with just the right amount of pressure, and he kept encouraging me and I couldn’t have stopped the freight train barreling right down on me.

My back arched with a cry that echoed off the waters surface and around the bathroom walls, my voice coming back at me and compounding the sound, just like my climax, vibrating and building and pulsing to a rigid peak.

I arched almost painfully, and Tom held me, his hand first urging me and then gentling me, cradling me as I came down.

I turned and curled into his side, laying my head on his chest as all the tension fled my body, leaving me languid and warm in my favourite place in the universe, listening to the steady thump of Tom’s heart.

Tom’s arms wrapped around me, lifting my hips to straddle him as I hung limp in his hands, settling me gently onto his cock, sliding in as he held me securely. I simply let him move me as he liked. I was too shattered to direct things, or even to participate much, I just enjoyed the floaty feeling of Tom moving me to his desire and let him carry on.

Tom’s hands moved to grip my bum, thrusting up into me, rubbing indolently against that ridged spot inside me and slowly pushing me back up to the mountaintop whether I will or no. Fortunately, I was happy to go, as long as I didn’t have to do the work. This time.

It was a lovely, slow fuck, gentle enough not to slosh the bathwater. Much. I lifted my head for a kiss and Tom took my mouth, suddenly fierce and urgent, pulling my hips down firmly as he thrust up and ground into me. It felt so fucking unbelievable to have him so deep inside me. It set me off uncontrollably. I clenched wildly around him and he braced his feet against the bath and arched under me, exploding in long pulses and gasps.

Collapsing back into the water after was what sent the wave over the rim of the tub. We lay in a limp heap, floating in the tub, enjoying the afterglow, slowly recovering and gathering our wits.

It wasn’t until I shivered that we realised that the water was growing cold. Tom helped me sit up, carefully steadying me before stepping out and lifting me out. Brrr!

Drying quickly, Tom plucked me up and strode into the bedroom, and slid me between the sheets, climbing in after and pulling the blankets. I curled my body around his and lifted my mouth for a kiss.

“Thank you for a lovely day,” I smiled at him.

“Makes up for being called out at stupid o’clock?” he asked.

“Not quite,” I laughed softly as I rested my head on his shoulder. “But my day sure did get better.”

Things had changed today.

Well no, that wasn't true, I’d just had some realisations today. Nothing had actually changed. Maybe I had. Over the months we’d been together. Just a smidge.

“What’s the day after twelfth night called?” I asked Tom idly.

“Thirteenth night?”

“Har de har,” I gently flicked his nipple.

“Careful, unless you want me to keep you up till stupid o’clock again.”

I thought about it but on the other hand, “Nah, I’m good.”

My head bounced a little as he chuckled and I snuggled in closer.

“So, the day after twelfth night?” I reminded him.

“Um, I think it’s called Epiphany.”

I smiled. I’d thought so.

“You’re not going to give me gold, Frankincense and myrrh, are you?” His voice was growing slow and deep with lethargy but it’s one of the sexiest sounds I’ve ever heard.

“More like copper pipes, Frankenstein and. . . what even is myrrh?”

“I think it’s what you make incense from.”

“I thought incense was made from anger, wrath and rage?”

“No, that’s the Hulk, darling.”

“Of course.” I smiled. “But I don’t wanna smash you, so how’s Eau de Plumber sound?”

“What’s it made of?”

“Hard water and hard luck.”

“I’d really like to get lucky though so how about you myrrhmur my name while I make you come?”

“That could work.”

I stretched like a cat then settled back against Tom, still a little sore from our earlier antics? Well, they do say the cool down is more important than the warm up.

Tom smiled that sexy grin and slid down under the blanket. A warm tongue swept over my nipple and teased the tip until I made an impatient noise and arched against his mouth, demanding more. I felt Tom’s chuckle reverberate through my boob before he latched on and gave a hard suck.

Myrrhmuring Tom’s name suddenly seemed like an excellent idea. I pushed the blanket down far enough to uncover his head, and he looked up, the devil dancing in his eyes, and the devils grin wrapped around my boob

“You are a very bad influence on me, Mr Hiddleston.”

“Me!” he sounded indignant, but he was grinning.

“I have to be up in the morning, you know. Some of us have jobs.”

“I have a job!” His expression told me there was a punchline coming.

“Oh yeah?”

“Making you scream.”

“You’re slacking then, get back to it!”

He didn't need telling twice.

After I’d myrrhmured, screamed and cried his name—and he mine a few times—we finally settled back down to sleep and I moved his arm until I could rest my head on his shoulder again, poking at and pretending to fluff the hard pectoral that I was lying on before settling with a huff.

“I’m not your personal pillow, you know,” he teased me.

“You should be! What would you charge?” I yawned sleepily.

“For you? Nothing.” The arm around me settled on my hip and he began tracing lazy patterns on my skin with his fingertips.

“Now that’s what I call mate’s rates.” Mates sounded a little too flippant, even although I was only joking. We were far more than mates now.

Tomorrow’s surprise was all planned out but now I was rethinking things. It wasn't really even for tomorrow anyway, I’d booked us a week at Drum Castle up in Scotland later in the year, but I’d only paid a small reservation fee because I wasn't sure when Tom was available, so even if I lost the deposit I wouldn't lose much.

And then I had another realisation—or an epiphany, —ha! I was booking holidays for us! I’d never even taken a bank holiday with my other boyfriends, let alone taken the time to research and book one myself. I’d never liked any man enough to want to spend an entire week alone with them.

But Tom? I actually miss the bugger when he’s not underfoot.

All these thoughts only cemented the idea that there was something else we could do tomorrow. Something better. More meaningful.

Slowly the idea began to coalesce as I lay there. I wondered what Dave would extort from me for the last minute change in his plans. I knew it would cost me, but I also knew that my brother would move heaven and earth for me.

I was nearly asleep when Tom murmured in my ear.

“What have you planned for us tomorrow, Rocky?” Perhaps he thought if he were quiet enough and I was sleepy enough, I would spill the beans.

“Mmm, bring your guitar,” I muttered lethargically before I plunged into sleep, leaving him to puzzle over that.

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shelbyrayphotography · 4 years

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Southern Fried Culture

Southern Fried Culture: Biscuits and Gravy

If you ask a true southerner what their favorite breakfast food is, you’ll surely get the response, “biscuits and gravy.” A flaky, warm buttery biscuit topped with creamy hot sausage gravy is one of the oldest and most popular traditions in the south. As a food photographer and southerner, I wanted to create a blog series to showcase the food culture that is deeply embedded into southern living and history. I’ll be covering the historical origin, a personal story, a traditional recipe, as well as its historical significance in southern culture.

The history of biscuits and gravy is widely debated. Some believe that this southern fried meal dates back as early as the revolutionary war. Some culinary historians place its origin in the mountains of Appalachia in the early 1800s but I, including many others, believe that the credit belongs to the slaves of the south. It should be noted that black cooks are the historical backbone of southern food culture. During the days of slavery, African Americans were made to work hard and long hours, so biscuits and gravy was an important and filling meal for people to eat. Barbara Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune writes, “People (blacks) didn't have a lot of money to spend. Back in slavery days and after that, they were working in the fields, hard work. So emphasis was put on filling food. Like gravy. Gravy is heavy, it will lay in your stomach, it stays with you.” Sausage gravy is a very easy and inexpensive item to make, which made it widely popular throughout poor families in the south.

Biscuits and gravy holds a special place in my heart. As a child, breakfast was a chief affair in my family. My grandfather, and sometimes my mother, would cook breakfast together, but granddad was the king of biscuits and gravy. His mother passed the recipe down to him, and her mother before her. You could say biscuits and gravy runs in our blood. After cooking, my grandfather sat down with his breakfast, took a sip of black coffee, excitedly tore into his gravy slathered buttermilk biscuits and proudly proclaimed, “It’s damn good but it ain’t nowhere near your granny’s cookin’.”

Granddad’s Sausage Gravy:

Step 1 - Heat up a skillet, traditionally a cast iron skillet, on high and begin cooking pork sausage patties for about 10 - 15 minutes.

Step 2 - Pull off the sausages and put them to the side. Begin pouring in the flour, stirring constantly, to the drippings in the skillet. (Granddad never measured his flour, but most recipes call for 2 to 3 tablespoons)

Step 3 - Add in whole milk and begin cooking and stirring until the roux thickens and begins to bubble. Keep adding in milk if the gravy is too thick.

Step 4 - Crumble up the sausage and add to the gravy.

Step 5 - Serve immediately over warm buttermilk biscuits.

Buttermilk Biscuits:

Step 1 - preheat the oven to 450 degrees

Step 2 - In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using your fingertips, rub butter and shortening into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. (The faster the better, you don't want the fats to melt.) Make a well in the center and pour in the chilled buttermilk. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky.

Step 3 - Turn dough onto a floured surface, dust top with flour and gently fold dough over on itself 5 or 6 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting. (Biscuits from the second pass will not be quite as light as those from the first, but hey, that's life.)

Step 4 - Bake until biscuits are tall and light gold on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

I hope that you enjoyed learning about the southern culture that I hold dear to my heart and the people that helped build it. If you’ve never had biscuits and gravy, try out this recipe and get a taste of southern history. Next week I will be covering another important, almost religious item favorited by southerners; sweet tea. I appreciate your time in reading my blog, and please feel free to follow along with my exploration into Southern Fried Culture.

Sources:

Chicago Tribune, website. Barbara Sullivan, Food is at the Very Soul of Us Blacks’ History Since the Days Of. Accessed on March, 11, 2020. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1988-02-18-8803310553-story.html

Food Network, website. Alton Brown, Southern Biscuits. Accessed on March, 11, 2020. https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/southern-biscuits-recipe-2041990

Website: https://shelbyrayphotography.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sr_photography0225/

#shelbyrayfoodphotography #shelbyrayphotography #foodphotography #commercialphotographer #southernliving #foodblogger #biscuits #biscuitsandgravy #owensborofoodphotographer #foodphotographer #foodie #soulfood #southernfried #foodculture

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under-the-lake · 4 years

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Kreacher’s Captivity Recipes: The Best Ever Chocolate Cookies

As part of being housebound, one of the things that come to mind is going through everything that’s been left unattended for ages, because usually we keep buying fresh stuff all the time, slaves as we are of consumerism. Using bits and bobs is something that make-do people have never forgotten, yet we seem to have (Kreacher has been talking about using old bits of cheese to make fondue, can’t wait!).

Kreacher has been raiding the pantry again and came back with bits of old chocolate (not TOO old. Still edible, but you know, those corners and bits you left in the package and said you’d use one day. Now’s the day.).

He decided to bake biscuits. We love Kreacher’s chocolate biscuits, because they are full lush. Scrumptious (as Gollum would say). Mainly because of the wee bit of salt that adds to the chocolaty fullness and chocolate chips that are just melted in the biscuits and make the actual chocolaty fullness.

Preparation time: half an hour

Cooking: 20-25 minutes

Serves: makes about 20 regular cookies, but I make smaller ones (1.5 inches, 5 cm), so I usually get about 30-35.

Ing list

100 g dark chocolate (don't use over 85% though, or add a bit more butter)

70 g unsalted butter

1 egg

70 g chocolate bites (or whatever you call them chips)

100 g sugar

120 g flour

1 tablespoon cocoa powder (unsweetened)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon soda

pinch of salt

Working the magic

1. Melt the 100 g dark chocolate on very low heat. When it's melted, add the butter, stir and let cool.

2. Add the beaten egg and the rest of the ing + a pinch of salt. Mix until the dough is homogenous.

3. Roll into a ball, wrap in cling-film or grease-proof paper and let sit in the freezer for 15 minutes.

4. Preheat the oven at 140 °C and put a baking tray in the oven.

5. Divide the dough into as many cookies you want to make. Roll the bits into balls, and place them on a sheet of parchment the size of your tray. Leave space between the balls, because they will spread during baking.

6. Slide the parchment onto the tray and put it all in the oven for 20-25 minutes, according to the size of your cookies.

7. Wait till they are completely cooled to remove them from the tray.

Enjoy.

PS: I usually make a double portion. I eat them too fast. Maybe during confinement you want to make only one portion due to lack of general exercise. Or better: make two portions and share with people who are strictly housebound :)

#louhi #LouhisLusciousLarder #cookies #biscuits #chocolate #bitsandbobs #captivityfood #baking #confinement

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dwyeristhicc · 5 years

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Dwyer who hasn’t had much conversation with M!Corrin but thinks he’s really cute. One day he over hears a rumour that Corrin is into guys with some meat on their bones so Dwyer starts to gain steadily in hopes Corrin will notice and when ever he’s around Corrin he will just get super flustered and when Corrin looks over he just sees a flustered and tired over weight Butler. And yes Corrin falls for him immediately

Ever since Corrin rescued him from the Valla Soldiers during the raid of his deeprealm, Dwyer had fallen for the Nohrian prince, and his attraction for him has only grown bigger since then.

Dwyer never paid any mind to most of the things he said, since he never cared about what anyone but his father thinked about him, but whenever Corrin even talked to him he would become a flustered mess, stumbling over his words and his cheeks turning the same color of Corrin’s beautiful red eyes.

Whenever he tried to talk to Corrin, his mind would go blank and leave an awkward silence around him. Corrin would obviously try to lighten up the mood, but Dwyer knew he was just doing it to be nice.

He resigned himself to not winning over the Nohrian prince, after all, Corrin’s army was a very large army, and that meant a lot of options, and who would pick the insomniac asshole? That’s what he thought, at least.

Hell, how did he know Corrin wasn’t straight? He assumed that he might’ve had a thing for either Silas or for Jakob, the latter option making him shriek in disgust, but it seemed that it was nothing more but a mix of Corrin’s kindness and his adorable naivety showing whenever he’s talking to people.

Because of the seemingly impossible task of having Corrin be into him, Dwyer had fallen into a bit of a bad mood, and he did what he did best- repressing his feelings and ignoring them with work.

He spent the whole day cleaning the whole camp- Washing the dishes, dusting each room, washing all the clothes, preparing tea for at least 30 people, and a whole lot of other things that that helped Dwyer block feelings that were Corrin-related.

The day soon ended, and Dwyer was still cleaning room after room, and he had finished Keaton’s room, a room that Dwyer would classify as a clusterfuck. He then realised that there was only one room left- Corrin’s room.

“Shit.”

He thought of simply not cleaning Corrin’s room, but he immediately thought how much his father would boast about doing what he “forgot” to do.

Dwyer would rather die than let his father enjoy winning in the butler business, so he took a deep breath, and opened the door of Corrin’s room.

The Nohrian Prince’s room wasn't very messy. It had a few things laying on the floor- A bronze sword, a bag of vulneraries, and a small diary. Besides that, only a few tables required dusting and the sheets had to be changed.

After doing all the chores, he picked up the prince’s belongings that were on the floor- Dwyer polished the sword, put the vulneraries in their right place, and he was about to pick up the diary, but a rush of curiosity took over him. If no one found out, what was wrong with some snooping around?

He opened the diary and started reading the first few pages. It was mostly battle strategies and venting about how much of a bad father Garon was, but when he got to the middle point he started to notice some notes based on how he felt about the other members of the army.

Dwyer felt a small rush of happiness when he saw notes about how some of the guys were cute, so he was definitely not straight, at least that was something that made his day a little bit better.

He continued to scroll through the pages until the notes started to focus on something very peculiar- How fat they were.

Notes about how Keaton’s gut was very hairy, how Benny’s soft stomach complemented his adorable personality, and a lot of other details that Dwyer felt kind of weird reading. He didn’t expect Corrin to be this kinky.

Dwyer suddenly heard footsteps, and he quickly placed the diary on top of the night stand that was next to Corrin’s bed.

As he made his way out of the room, he met face to face with Corrin, to his dismay. Dwyer felt his cheeks burning as he gripped his cleaning utensils.

“H-hey, Lord Corrin…”

“It’s nice to see you again Dwyer. I heard that you cleaned all the camp, so I wanted to congratulate you on being a valuable member of the army!”. He shook Dwyer’s hand firmly with a huge smile on his face.

Dwyer felt a rush of adrenaline. How could he be so adorable?

“T-thanks. I’ll go to sleep, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s no big deal, Dwyer. Just know that you can stay in your room if you desire so, you worked hard today.”

Being congratulated by Corrin made Dwyer’s heart skip a beat. He was just so nice and kind that it made it impossible to not smile whenever Corrin talked.

Dwyer opened the door to his room and he flopped into his bed. It only dawned on him how tired he was, even more than his usual sleepiness.

He then started to think about what he read in Corrin’s diary. Dwyer found it interesting- Discovering that Corrin loved men like he did, how he was infatuated by their stomachs, and how he seemingly thought that the bigger a guy was, the better.

And suddenly, he had an epiphany. Corrin was into bigger guys, so then he came into a conclusion- If he wanted to win over Corrin, he had to pack on some pounds.

It wouldn’t be hard, since he wasn’t eating “super healthy” in comparison to the rest of the army, snacking mostly on pastries, so he just had to eat a little bit more than usual to catch Corrin’s attention. He had a head start as well, since he was already a little bit chunky.

Dwyer immediately got up and headed to the kitchen. He made sure no one was there so that he could eat at his heart’s content.

The coast was clear, and he started to grab everything he needed to start baking. He used the multiple ovens to bake multiple things- A chocolate cake, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, a pumpkin pie, and a batch of blueberry muffins.

While everything was baking, he munched on some biscuits inside the pantry. He really enjoyed how his father baked them, even if he would never admit it.

Soon after, the ovens finished heating all of Dwyer’s snacks. He placed all of them in the table, and licked his lips in pleasure as his stomach grumbled.

He grabbed a fork and a knife and started with the pumpkin pie. Dwyer cut a big chunk of the pie and shoved it into his mouth. He moaned as he felt the intensely good flavor of the pie.

“Oh man, I’m such a good cook.”

Dwyer soon dug into the rest of his giant meal, his taste buds being constantly bombarded with more and more sugary flavors.

The cookies were soon gone and only left a trail of crumbs on top of Dwyer’s chest, the muffins were shoved one by one into Dwyer as he slowly chewed them, and the cake was furiously devoured by Dwyer, even grabbing some chunks with his bare hands and shoving them in his mouth.

He ate like he had never eaten before, during every single bite he thought about Corrin, and how much he would hug him and kiss him after getting fatter.

If every day was going to be like this, Dwyer was going to enjoy one hell of a lifestyle.

---

Dwyer woke up, and immediately headed for the kitchen. He made sure to wake up early, something that he has never done in his life, to grab as much food as he could. He wasn’t in the mood to be judged by his father.

The butler grabbed as much as he could find- A plate of scrambled eggs, pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream, bacon sandwiches, a plate of biscuits, and a small slice of cake.

The same thing that occured last night happened again. Dwyer ate shamelessly, thinking about how good it would feel for Corrin to squish his belly, and how it would feel even better when he got as big as Corrin wanted him to be.

By the end, Dwyer’s belly was bloated, his pajama shirt’s buttons were straining, and his face was red as a tomato as he felt a mix of pain, embarrassment, pleasure, and satisfaction as he rubbed his belly.

His stomach growled in order to protest the amount of food that was put inside of it, but Dwyer didn’t care. He was too busy planning out what he was gonna eat for lunch.

---

A month had passed and Dwyer had certainly packed on some extra pounds. His thighs had grown in size dramatically, his butt growing juicier and making his undies and pants struggle to contain it, a pair of moobs starting to appear that seemingly looked as big, if not bigger, than Kagero’s, but the biggest thing was his gut. He couldn’t even see his feet now, and carried his giant stomach with pride.

He noticed Corrin was starting to pay attention to him, catching him staring and freezing every time they encountered each other in the hot springs, allowing the Nohrian prince to get a good look at his giant body.

Dwyer decided to wait a few months, allowing him to grow even bigger. Just in case “competition” showed up (Keaton had started to become plump as well, but nowhere near Dwyer’s current weight)

He woke up, taking off his sleeping clothes, that were nothing but a pair of dark blue briefs that really accentuated the roundness of his butt, and put on his new butler clothes, that were custom made to accommodate to his gargantuan size.

Dwyer knocked on Corrin’s door, his bigger size giving him a boost of confidence he desperately needed.

Corrin opened the door, but his eyes widened when he saw the bigger and fatter butler towering over him. A small blush appeared on his face as he waved his hand in order to say “Hi”

“Hey Corrin…” Dwyer had a shit-eating grin in his face. He knew Corrin was currently crazy for him, since every time he cleaned his room he took a small peek into the diary of the prince. “I’m pretty hungry…”

Corrin fumbled with his words before managing to mutter “D-do you want food?”

Dwyer patted his belly. “Yeah… I’m in the mood for wyvern steak.”

Corrin ran into the kitchen embarrassed, Dwyer being able to hear the prince the phrase “Oh My God” repeatedly under his breath.

The dragon prince came with a catering cart full of multiple plates that had dishes that had a giant wyvern steak on top of it, and when he opened the door, Dwyer was laying on bed in othing but his boxers, giving him a cheeky smile.

Corrin’s face went red and he shut the door, not wanting to be seen doing something so embarassing.

Dwyer had finally stolen the Dragon prince’s heart, and his love for him was almost as big as his gut.

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