#and then there's rebecca just going straight for the connection

[scratchybeardsweetmouth]

“Am I a mess?” | Ted Lasso 3x04

[devotioncrater]

"no hints were dropped" ok not to be that person but here are the hints that were dropped regarding Colin and Trent being gay:

1. Colin mentioning Grindr in a joke

2. Trent touching the arm of a man in the background

Here is one of the hints that Keeley was bi (even though I do believe she's been canonically bi since season 1, but not everyone sees it this way)

1. Her desktop background was in the colors of the bisexual flag

Here were some of the hints that Ted was bi:

1. Bisexual flag colored triangles above his head in the hallucination sequence

2. Inverted pink triangle next to him in that same sequence (and you can't tell me the creators didn't know, when the Homomonument is based on that symbol)

3. Countless (countless!!!) comments about men's physiques ("huge muscular thighs all caked in mud", whistling at a picture of Pep, "look at that head of hair", "he's strong", "he looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats", etc.)

4. About a man (Higgins) and a woman (Rebecca), he had to say: "that's a crowd I don't mind being smack-dab in the middle of"

5. Him checking Trent out in the pub in 2x07 (his eyes are up there, Ted!)

6. "It could go either way", "I contain multitudes" and other comments in this vein

7. Bi lighting as he entered the Yankee Doodle Burger Barn

8. Giving similar looks to the female waitress and the male waiters in that restaurant (including a waiter in a cowboy costume that looked like he belonged in a gay club, who tipped his hat at Ted when greeting him)

9. "That's cause you were put into a box", "That box ceases to exist today", the box in the hallucination sequence breaking into triangles (as in the bi triangles and the inverted pink triangke), "we've been playing too rigid", "our guys need freedom", "fast, fluid, free, with full support", the "box that one needs to break out of" being a prominent motif in season 3

10. Wishing Beard called him pet names ("Honey, is that an ingredient or something you just called me?")

11. His crush on Pep

12. The connection between Ted and Colin: "my whole life is two lives, really", both wearing orange in Sunflowers, "I just want to kiss my fella" (Colin doesn't say "fella" , but Ted says it all the time), Ted just needs to get inspired and Colin's play is "inspirational" after he comes out, as per the commentators

And so much other stuff that, had Ted not self-identified as straight (*cough* put himself into a box *cough cough*) , you could make the case that he was canonically bi.

Here are some of hints that there was a romantic connection between Ted and Trent:

1. They hit a lot of romantic beats, and not in the jokey self-aware way in which Roy and Ted hit them in "Rainbow", but in an organic and sincere way

2. They both checked each other out: Trent checked Ted out when Ted was changing in front of him, Ted checked Trent out when Trent came up to him in a pub and hit him with a pick-up line while his date that looked a lot like Ted waited for him outside

3. Did I mention that Trent was on a date with a moustachioed man who dressed in a similar style to Ted? Let's mention it again

4. In that very bar, during a 50 second long conversation, Trent managed to say the word "love" three times. I searched the word "love" in the transcripts of the episodes. There's no other instance in which its frequency is this high

5. "Love our chats" incomplete rule of threes

6. "Sport, it's quite the metaphor" (implied: a metaphor for love; see also "love's a beautiful game" from the song Ed Sheeran wrote for Ted Lasso), "Also makes for a heck of a nickname", "Good night, Ted", "Good night, sport"

7. The soft, romantic, melancholic song playing in the background of this scene, while Ted and Trent are the last ones left in the office, with lyrics such as "When your words begin to crumble like the sidewalks all around this crummy neighborhood / From the chalky cliffs of Dover / I'd come over, I'd start over if I could"

8. Trent wearing sunflower colors in the episode "Sunflowers" and in the finale; sunflowers symbolize Ted's home (it's not subtle). He's the only character dressed like that. I'm still looking for any other explanation other than "Trent is Ted's home"

9. Their constant flirting and the way they look at each other with incredible fondness

10. The entire episode "The Strings That Bind Us". It's structured around Ted and Trent's relationship, and the way Trent changed because of Ted (in season 2, Ted defined a soulmate as someone who changes your life forever). The red string metaphor. Ted points out that soulmates are connected by a string tied to their little fingers. Ted and Trent both extend their little fingers out in similar shots. They are connected by a huge block of red in their last scene of the episode. Ted makes several comments about other men that apply to Trent ("Look at that head of hair", "Frames his face nicely", "My favorite one, he was clean shaven"). Many more details that lead back to Ted and Trent: Nate tells the restaurant owner to tell Jade he said "Hello". Immediately after, Ted and Trent say "Hello" to each other. The map that Nate's father used to ask out his mom has the number 1.3 written on it and an illustration of two people at a table in a restaurant. Ted and Trent went to a restaurant together in season 1, episode 3. The last scene of the episode mimics a "Race for Love" scene from a romcom, with Trent chasing after Ted. Trent also does not say a word to anyone other than Ted in the entire episode. He is completely focused on Ted

11. "Trent, what do you love? Is it writing?" and Trent ends up writing a book about Ted and naming the manuscript after Ted and he only cares about Ted's opinion on it (he leaves the room when Beard starts reading, but stays in the office after hours just to watch Ted read. "I just wanted you to like it.")

11. Trent's crush on Ted, confirmed by Jimmy Lance (and also obvious in the show, if you ask me)

Now, why would I believe that none of these hints were intentional? Maybe some could be explained away, but all of them? The hints we got for Colin, Trent and Keeley were so much smaller than this, and those turned out to be intentional.

anon i wish i could offer you the response you deserve, but i cannot stop rereading this masterpiece & focusing on the portions of evidence you provided that i didn't even pick up on until you laid them out. holy shit

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS II | ALONE AT MIDNIGHT

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 2,880

summary: jamie refuses to let you go home alone again

A/N: what could THAT mean?

distractions masterlist | previous chapter

After almost three months with the club, you and the team are now celebrating a seven game win streak. 

Rebecca has somehow managed to convince a star football player called Zava to join AFC Richmond (you still weren’t sure if that was his first name or last name) and they haven’t lost a match since. While very gifted at football, you wouldn’t exactly call Zava your favorite player to work with. He was self-centered but not at all self aware. For some reason the team worshiped him but you could hardly understand why. With what you heard about how much they couldn’t stand Jamie when he used to be more selfish and stuck-up, you didn’t get why they’re putting up with Zava. Maybe it was just the thrill of back-to-back wins. They were all the happiest you’d ever seen them so you kept your thoughts to yourself. 

Well almost all of them were happy. Anytime the team went out for drinks to celebrate their recent victories (even days after on a random Wednesday - any excuse for a pint, as Isaac would say) Sam convinced you to tag along. That’s how you started spending time getting to know more guys like Isaac and Colin and Dani. But even as you bonded with them, you couldn’t help but notice Jamie. You’d always find him sulking in a corner with a beer in his hand, or half heartedly making conversation with one of his teammates. You’d spoken to him a few times over the last several weeks, and while you’d talk about your weekend or share jokes about other players or even the coaches (apologies, Uncle Ted), your conversations were never lengthy or of substance. So you ignored the urge to check up on him during these nights. 

You’re out again tonight - except this time it's the entire club. Coaches, staff, and all are gathered at Sam’s restaurant Ola’s for an unofficial opening celebration in honor of the team’s seventh straight win. You’re sipping champagne by the bar with Rebecca and Keeley, when they have to introduce you to Rebecca’s old friend Sassy. You’ll love her! And of course you do. Everyone you encounter here is the best person you’ve ever met. Although your ears bleed when Sassy alludes to going home with Ted later. Rebecca secretly gives you a simultaneously apologetic and amused look, to which you can only laugh through your embarrassment. 

As you sip your champagne, you can’t help but look on as your work family mixes and mingles and laughs together. You try not to beam at Sam, who you’ve told you’re proud of a million times that night, as he talks to his chef friend. You look on curiously as Colin introduces a friend of his to some other members of the team. You even feel comforted when you see Roy sit down next to Jamie, hoping someone can get that boy out of whatever funk he’s in. Even Zava makes a surprise appearance but you keep from rolling your eyes.

You’ve really become comfortable here the last few months. You try to remember the last time you’ve felt this happy and content and you come up blank. You’re surrounded by people you actually like and a job that sustains you both financially and spiritually. Now if only you could write a word of fiction you were proud of, but baby steps will have to do.

You’re not a superstitious or paranoid person, but as soon as you start dwelling on how great your life is going, you know that you’ll jinx it.

And you do.

As Rebecca begins telling you and Keeley about the psychic reading she had recently, your phone buzzes in your back pocket. You figure it's a text from your dads and don’t want to miss an opportunity to connect with them even briefly, since you’ve been so busy. Instead of finding a text from your family group chat, you see an Instagram notification.

Mason_Andrews has posted for the first time in a while.

Stupid Instagram and their stupid irrelevant notifications.

You know you shouldn’t look. You’re having a great time, and you haven’t really thought about him in weeks. But you’re so curious. Besides, you really need to make the move to unfollow him and this could be the perfect opportunity to do so. 

So you click the notification banner and Instagram opens to a picture of Mason- with his arms wrapped around an eerily familiar red-head.

He’d told you he barely knew the girl, as the two of you fought that night; that she didn’t mean anything to him.

Apparently she did now. They looked extra cozy, all dressed up in cocktail attire at what must have been one of Mason’s work events. My girl, the caption reads simply. Your fingers move faster than your brain as you tap the image to see the girl has been tagged. Her handle tells you her name is Chloe. You know if you start digging any further you’re going to drive yourself crazy. But if you don’t look and go on the rest of the night trying to forget about it, you’ll feel even crazier. So you decide you need to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Under the guise of exhaustion, you bid your farewells to Keeley and Rebecca. You catch Ted’s eye over Sassy’s shoulder and wave. He mouths back a “get home safe”. You don’t even try to get Beard’s attention with his girlfriend Jane in his lap. Roy gives you a nod and you briefly make eye contact with Jamie as Keeley’s friend and coworker Shandy talks off his ear, giving him a small smile as you head to the front. You let Sam know you’re calling it a night, and he begs you to stay for a little while longer, but you just hug him tighter and promise to be his first customer when Ola’s officially opens. He flashes his contagious, thousand-watt smile and you almost feel better, accepting the green matchbook as a keepsake that you know you’ll never part with. 

Leaning against the brick of the restaurant, you mean to call an Uber, but end up giving in and immediately start cyber-stalking Chloe. You’re nearly a full year down her Instagram grid when the door jingles beside you, causing you to jump. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, palming your chest to calm your rising heart rate. 

“Didn’t know you were so religious,” Jamie snickers from beside you, seemingly a bit more upbeat than he was earlier in the evening. 

You snort, relaxing a bit, “Says the guy with the cross earring.” 

He smirks, “It's a fashion statement, ever heard of it?”

“My sincerest apologies,” You hold your hands up playfully in surrender, “I’m surprised you're alone.” 

He raises his eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well it seems if Shandy had her way, you’d be leaving with her.”

Jamie takes a deep breath, “Shandy is…a lot. I think she wanted to take a bite out of me.” 

You laugh at the pained expression on his face, “What, you’re not into that sort of thing?” 

He gets a mischievous glint in his eye and you know you’re going to regret having said that, “Well, I’m usually the one doing the biting.” 

“My God,” you groan, closing your eyes.

“There you go with the religious expletives,” he tsks, “You know you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain.” 

“I will try to do better.”

Your breathy laughs die out together.

“So, what about you?” Jamie asks.

“What about me?”

“Don’t tell me you’re walking home alone again from here.”

You’re reminded of what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh, no, I was actually about to order an Uber.”

“Fuck that. My car is down the block, let me drive you.”

“Jamie, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I’m not letting you waste your money when I have a perfectly good car and empty passenger seat. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t give you another second to consider when he’s already rounding the corner of the restaurant. 

Moments later you’re putting your address into Jamie’s phone from his passenger seat, and you appreciate that he only made fun of you a little for almost getting in the driver's side. (“Hey, if you want to take a shot at driving on the correct side of the road, be my guest.” “Listen, It doesn’t make sense that everything is on the other side!”) You’ve been driving for a few minutes with only the soft sound of the radio playing when you finally let yourself ask.

“So, why the long face all night?” you inquire, “I don’t know much about non-American football, or American football for that matter, but I thought winning several games in a row was supposed to be a good thing.” 

Jamie shakes his head, “It is.”

“Thank you for clarifying,” you smile slightly, “But?”

“But,” he sighs, “I don’t love how we did it.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It's this whole Zava thing,” he admits, not taking his eyes off the road as you watch him, “Everyone is acting like he’s some God, and sure, he’s a great player, but we…stopped playing as a team. I liked it better that way. Now it's the Zava show.” 

You nod, “I get what you mean. I don’t get the hype about Zava either.”

He glances at you for a brief second before focusing on the road again. “You don’t?”

“Yeah, he’s all words and no substance. He says things but it doesn’t mean anything. It's irritating. Honestly, when he walked into Sam’s I had to force myself not to leave immediately.”

He laughs with you, “I feel like you’re the only other person who see’s through his shit.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have patience for self-centered jerks. Even if they’re good at kicking a ball around or whatever.” 

Jamie’s smile falters a bit. “You know I used to be a lot like him.”

You bite back a laugh, “No way.”

Your sarcasm takes him by surprise. “I thought you weren’t into football?”

“Football? No,” you admit slowly, “One of my old coworkers, though, had an affinity for British dating shows…”

You swear you see a bit of color drain from his face under the glow of the street lights, “Ah shit.” 

You can’t help but giggle, “Yeahhh, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re sorry? You’re the one who suffered through watching that crap.”

You can’t help but join when a laugh breaks through his words. 

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“That bad? I was a total prick.”

“Oh yeah you were a douchebag, but it made great TV.” 

He can’t help but laugh with you despite himself. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“But you don’t seem like that guy anymore,” you reassure, “I don’t think the guy who broke Amy’s heart would offer to drive a girl you barely know home.” 

“I’m trying not to be,” he muses softly. “But you’re right about one thing. I barely know you and you’ve probably seen more of me than either of us would like to admit.”

You chuckle, feeling your face get hot. “'You saying you want to play 20 questions or something?”

“How about one? That being, why the hell did you come to Richmond?” he glances at you again as you suddenly find your hands more interesting than the boy beside you, “Sam says you had some fancy job back in America and now you’re basically a football club owner’s secretary.”

“We prefer the term personal assistant.” 

He rolls his eyes, “So what? Were you that desperate to learn about ‘non-American football’ or what?”

You take a long, deep breath. “You want the honest answer?” 

Jamie shrugs like it's obvious.

“I told my family I needed a change of scenery, but it was because of a guy. Pathetic right? Making a life changing decision because some guy broke my heart. But the truth is I’d been making a lot of my decisions because of him while we were together. Where to live. What friends to hang out with. I had my old job because he thought it would be a good fit for me even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. So, after we…broke up, I realized I didn’t really know who I was because my whole life was built around him and us. So, I knew I had to get the hell out of Chicago, panicked, quit my job, and…here I am; just trying to get a change of scenery and figure out who the hell I am.” 

You never admitted that to anyone. No one around you ever saw how controlling he was over your life. You knew your family would have called you out about it, but they never got the chance to spend much time with him. He insisted you spend holidays with his family and you went along with it. And when you visited yours, you went alone. You didn’t realize it at the time, but subconsciously you weren’t very proud of your relationship with him. You were blinded by the attention he gave you, all the while molding you into his definition of a perfect girlfriend. Until apparently you weren’t. 

You eventually glanced back over at Jamie, and despite paying attention to the road in front of him, you could tell he was listening attentively. 

“Damn, so once you finally saw how bad he was, you dumped him and left?”

You laugh humorously, “No, I dumped him after I caught him cheating on me.” That was also the first time you told someone willingly. 

“Jesus Christ.”

“Now who’s using the lord’s name in vain?”

“He sounds fucking awful. Glad you’re rid of him.”

“If only I’d come to my senses sooner.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t blame yourself when he’s the prick.”

You digest the sentiment as his car slows to a stop and you realize you’ve made it to your apartment. 

He angles his body towards you, “Seriously, I’m sorry that happened to you. No one…no one deserves that.”

Meeting his eyes, you get the sense that there’s more meaning behind his words that you don’t understand. Still you smile slightly. “Thank you, Jamie.”

He presses his lips together in a thin smile as well. 

You unbuckle your seatbelt as you continue, “Well, here’s hoping that quitting my job and moving halfway across the world actually does the trick and lets me move on, or else I might be a little crazy.” 

Jamie chuckles and you feel the energy shift back to lighthearted, “Well, you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“Jesus Chr-” you stop as he raises his eyebrows playfully, and you start to smile. Not only do you let yourself laugh at his cheeky joke, you let yourself consider his words. Casual dating let alone sex wasn’t really your thing, but maybe it could help. At the very least it would be a well deserved distraction. You briefly consider trying out the Bantr app but you loathed online dating. And here you were with a perfectly eligible bachelor mere inches away from you. 

No. No. You couldn’t hook up with Jamie Tartt. 

He was a notorious playboy. And while you could now attest he wasn’t as bad as his on-screen persona made him look, you knew he still wasn’t a relationship guy. 

But that’s not what this would be. 

Maybe he would be the perfect guy to distract you for one night. He instantly made you forget about Mason earlier until he became the topic of conversation. And he was very pretty. 

Before you can second guess anymore, you push yourself towards him and press your lips against his. If Jamie’s surprised by your actions, it doesn’t last long. He quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt, so he can bring the two of you closer together, his hands squeezing your waist, as yours cup around his face. You kiss frantically for a few more moments, sneaking in breaths where you can, before you’re pulling away slightly. Your noses are brushing against one another as you blink up at him, “Do you want to come inside?” 

He doesn’t bother answering, letting out shaky breaths as he nods, bumping his forehead against yours lightly. You smile into another kiss and Jamie doesn’t break away as he starts reaching to unlock the car doors, eager to get into your apartment but a little less eager to part from you. Reluctantly you separate again so you both can fumble out of the car and up the stairs of your building. You feel his breath on your neck as you hurriedly unlock your front door. He gently leads you inside, only to shut the door and push you against it, picking up where he left off. His hands make their way down your body to your thighs, and without having to be asked, you're jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist. You mumble directions to your bedroom against his lips and before you know it, he’s lying you down across your bed. As his lips leave a trail down your neck and to your chest, you don’t even remember Mason’s name. Your mind is just clouded by Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. 

A/N: let me know what you think y’all!!! also taking this opportunity to let everyone know i’m not comfortable writing smut or things like that, but will obviously allude to this like this. hope everyone understands! ❤️

[moonlightspencie]

Next to You

Description: Trying to ignore the feelings you have for your best friend can cause complications. Especially when you find out what they’d risk for you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of cases (typical for cm), fluffff (mutual pining, friends to lovers, the usual)

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: originally posted on tumblr. then took on a new life on ao3. now it’s back on tumblr.

The last place I ever expected my career to go was working for the government. A stuffy office job was never my style. Luckily, the government job I found myself working was far from a boring life shoved away in a cubicle. Much to the dismay of my family, and to my absolute delight, I got to work pretty much the coolest job I could think of besides being an astronaut.

The elevator doors opened and I stepped out, strolling towards the bullpen. I dropped my stuff at my desk, and went straight for the kitchenette to find Penelope and Derek sitting at the little table near the counter.

“Hey, lovebirds,” I said with a wink.

“Oh, come on. You know you’re my number one,” Penelope answered, throwing a wink back at me.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, there. I thought you were my babygirl?”

Pen shrugged with a smirk. “You know I could never give you up.”

I laughed at the pair, grabbing a mug and filling it to the brim with coffee. I sipped at it, just watching them interact, adding in a little quip here and there until I heard JJ.

“Got a case, guys.”

She nodded towards the conference room as she walked past us. I topped off my mug again, following her to the room with the other two not far behind. We all filed in, taking our seats. Hotch and Spencer showed up a minute after we all got comfortable and JJ started speaking as soon as they hit the room.

Spence took his seat next to me with a tight-lipped grin my direction.

“The bodies of three young women have recently turned up in Portola, California, about an hour from Reno, Nevada.”

She introduced them as she went through the slides of where their bodies were found. Lakes and woods surrounded the area, making it easy to hide them without being traced back to somebody. I grimaced at a close up of the face of one of the victims. No matter how often we had to look at stuff like that, I could never quite force myself into thinking it was normal or just a routine. My discomfort must have been apparent, because Spencer reached up to place a hand on my shoulder for a moment, giving me a little smirk. I reached over to cover his hand with my own for a moment before turning back to give my full attention to the case.

“Any connection between the victims?” Derek asked.

JJ shook her head. “None, besides the fact they’re in their 20s. Different ethnicities, hair colors, lifestyles…”

“Very strange. It’s probably not a personal grudge against somebody then. Any signs of sexual assault or impotence?” Spencer asked.

“No, they didn’t find any evidence of abuse on the victims at all, actually, besides a few minor bruises. Probably from the victims attempting to fight back.”

I furrowed my brow. “So, what did he want with them?”

“That’s what we have to find out, and quickly,” JJ sighed, pulling out some photos of a girl in her 20s and passing them around. “A young woman named Rebecca Stevenson recently went missing in the area, and it’s very likely she was abducted. Her car was found on the side of the road, the keys still in the ignition. I’m willing to bet she was taken by our unsub.”

We all glanced at the photos her parents had sent in, committing her face to memory as well as we could.

“Alright, everyone grab your go-bags. Wheels up in 20,” Hotch concluded.

I huffed out a sigh as I plopped myself down in the seat next to Spencer on the plane. I slouched down, shutting my eyes for a moment.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Just— I have a bad feeling about this one.”

“Let’s just get our job done as well as we can, and hope the rest works out.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“Usually am.”

I scoffed out a laugh, opening my eyes. “You, Spencer Reid, are one cocky little…”

“It’s Dr. Spencer Reid, actually,” he interrupted.

We both broke out in a fit of laughter.

“You’re ridiculous.” I shook my head, looking up to him.

“We can be ridiculous together.” He nudged my shoulder with a smirk.

“What are you talking about? I’m the normal one.”

He raised a brow.

“Don’t you give me that look.” I joked.

We touched down in a couple of hours, and headed towards the local police precinct. We went through all of the formalities with local officers, explaining the situation and our procedures as much as we could before starting a profile on the unsub.

We ended up needing to take a few hours to sleep before heading to the families of the victims found and Rebecca’s family the next day.

“If we could just have a look at her room…” Spencer started.

“Of course! Whatever you need to be able to find her.”

Rebecca’s mom ushered us through the home, straight to her bedroom.

“She’s been staying here with me. Ever since her father passed…” Her eyes welled with tears. “It’s been hard. For us both. She was— So sweet to come back to stay with me during all of that. I just… Please, whatever you need. Find her.”

I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I promise we will do our best to bring Rebecca home.”

A few tears slipped down her face. “Thank you.”

I nodded, and she turned to leave us in the room. Spencer watched me for a moment.

“Let’s find her.” I nodded, beginning to look around her bedroom. I found a laptop and opened it. “Any ideas about the password, genius?”

He took the computer from me, sitting next to me on her bed. He started making a few guesses, somehow breaking in within a few minutes.

“Got it.”

“Awesome. What do we got?”

“Let’s see.”

He started searching around for any sliver of a clue as to what happened to her. It took several minutes before he found something.

“Uh, she was on a dating site, and had a lot of matches,” he said, searching through some of the messages.

“Think that could be something?”

“Maybe. Can you call Hotch and ask if any of the others were on this site?”

I nodded, dialing him up. We chatted for some time before I was able to hang up. Spencer watched me expectantly.

“They were all on the same site.”

“Okay, let’s find the commonalities.”

We scoured their profiles, finding only one common name: Andrew. But all we knew about him was a first name, age range, and a picture that clearly wasn’t of him. Luckily, we had the worlds best internet stalker on the team. Spencer and I went back to the precinct to meet Derek there, and hopped on the phone with Penelope until we figured out who we were going after. It didn’t take long before she found the most likely candidate.

“Uh… Andrew! Yes, his name is Andrew McClain, I’m sending you all his address now.”

I could almost hear the smile on Penelope’s face at her ability to discover pretty much anything she set her mind to. I would’ve smiled too if it weren’t for the dire circumstances we were working with.

“Thanks sweetheart,” Derek said back before hanging up.

He immediately called Hotch, letting him know what the situation was. The three of us practically ran to the car from the precinct, alerting Emily and JJ of the situation as we went. Derek tore out of the lot, speeding towards our destination as fast as he could go. We met Hotch and the unit chief in front of a mansion.

“No wonder he hid this all so well,” I said under my breath, staring up at the massive place.

“Makes sense why he had girls off of dating sites feeling okay coming over, too. Money can buy a lot of things, and unfortunately love is one of them,” Spencer said, coming to stand next to me. “Or, well, whatever form of affection can be reached through a sense of security.”

“That’s disgusting. Taking advantage of those girls like that.” I shook my head, looking away and towards the team instead. “They never saw it coming.”

“They never do.” Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing at whatever I seemed to be fixed on instead of the house.

Emily and JJ showed up not too long afterwards, and we all quickly went over the plan. We knew who and what we were looking for, and it seemed like it’d be pretty straightforward. We just hoped that we’d find Rebecca alive.

We snuck in as quietly as we could, tiptoeing around the mansion and checking each and every room and door we could find. I was following Hotch and the unit chief as they opened up the door to a bedroom in a downstairs hallway.

“Damn it,” I heard Hotch before I walked into the small room. He said something else to the chief that I couldn’t quite make out.

My steps slowed and eventually came to a stop in the doorway when I saw her. I really wanted him dead now. I huffed out a harsh breath as more agents walked towards the room Hotch was in, and shoved past them all. I rounded a corner in the maze of a house, getting up the steps to the second floor as quickly and quietly as I could, nearly throwing Spencer off his feet as I reached the top.

“Hey,” he said, though he meant it more as a question.

“They found her downstairs. I’m gonna kill him.”

“Hey, whoa.” He reached out to grab my arm as I tried to move past him. “We’ll get him, but don’t go looking alone.”

I nodded hesitantly as we both moved forward, peeking into each room before we heard a noise coming from a room near the end of the hallway. I stepped up first, gun drawn as Spencer opened the door for me. At first I didn’t see anything, then I heard him and whipped around to the far left corner of the room with Spencer not far from my side.

“What are you doing in my house,” he questioned, moving forward ever-so-slightly.

I pointed my gun at him. “We found Rebecca, Andy. You are one sick—”

“Don’t move!” Spencer interrupted, stepping ahead of me as Andy’s hand slowly came back from where he had attempted to reach in his back pocket. “What do you have?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

I stepped to be right next to Spence. “Whatever it is, Andy, it’s in your best interest to keep your hands where we can see them.”

We heard the footsteps of our team starting to trail up the stairs at the sound of our voices. Then, panic struck Andy’s face and he made a movement that was way too sudden for my liking.

Spencer threw himself in front of me before I even had a chance to react, using his body as a human shield. He threw his arms around me, holding tightly, and all we heard was a faint ‘click’.

I stared up at him, both of our eyes wide in shock. My mouth gaped open as if there were anything I could say in a moment like that. Spencer narrowly escaped death because of a jammed gun. He almost sacrificed himself to save me, and the only thing that stopped him was a faulty weapon.

“Spence” was all I could manage to whisper as we stood there, his arms still tight around me as agents made their way in and out with the unsub.

He unwound himself from me, taking only half a step backwards. His hands found my shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“Am I…” I scoffed, trailing off. “Spencer. You could have died. What were you thinking?”

He put his hands up defensively.

“I wasn’t going to let you die, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to see you die either!” My voice rose, anger settling in with the sense of terror that still lingered. “Why would you do that?”

“I was protecting you.” He kept his cool, and it almost made me more upset.

“I can’t— What if the gun didn’t jam?”

“That doesn’t matter—“

“That doesn’t matter?! Spencer, you would have died. You would have died protecting me, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“And I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try.”

I felt the tears beginning to fall. “Why would you do that?”

“Oh, oh no. Y/N please don’t cry.” He pulled me in again, stroking my hair and shushing me as he did.

“I couldn’t…”

“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re here, we’re safe. It’s okay.”

He held me for a few minutes before I could compose myself enough to let go, drying my tears. We went back to the precinct after a quick check-up to make sure everyone was alright, and got the hell out of Dodge as quickly as we could. I was grateful we didn’t have to stay much longer.

We got on the plane, and I took my usual spot next to Spencer, though still unsure what to say or do now that he had literally risked his life to save mine. I let the silence sit with us for a while before deciding to say something.

“Why would you do that?” I asked, quietly this time. My anger had gone, and now all that I was left with was worry.

“It was nothing, Y/N. The gun jammed, we’re both okay. You can’t focus on the ‘what if’ here, just try to look at what did happen. Please.” He pleaded with me, looking at me with those sweet, pleading eyes he knew how to use a little too well.

I only sighed, knowing this wasn’t a battle I’d ever win.

“You scared the hell out of me, Spence. I just— I don’t get why you’d do that.”

“I— I’d do anything for you.” He shook his head as he spoke as if it were the obvious thing to say.

It all came crashing down around me at once and I felt like I was walking around in a daze until we got back to the BAU. All the time I had spent trying to convince myself that my feelings would fade was all for naught— I don’t know how I could’ve ever believed that in the first place, even for a second. How couldn’t I love him, or at least feel as attached to him as I did. It was almost laughable to believe that I could have come to any other conclusion, and as much as I deeply and desperately wanted to keep my feelings a secret, something in me knew I couldn’t anymore. It was too much to keep hidden, especially from him. I just wished I had more time.

Practically the whole team had left soon after we got back and had gathered what was needed for a trip back home. It was late afternoon, and Hotch wanted everyone fresh for the next day anyways. But Spencer just had to be there. Of course, he had to be the one person left there when all I wanted was a chance to gather my thoughts completely alone. And of course, he had to speak.

“Hey,” he called from where he stood at his desk, “Come here for a second?”

My feet shuffled over, barely giving me a chance to say whether or not that’s what I even wanted to do.

“Yeah?” I questioned, getting little-by-little closer to him.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? You’re being really quiet, that isn’t you.” He looked concerned. I wanted to reach out and touch him. “Was it the case.”

“No, it’s— I’m fine, Spence.” I tried to smile, and I’m certain it looked like a pathetic attempt.

He only raised a brow.

“What?” I sighed.

“You know you can tell me anything, Y/N.” Spencer half smiled with an expectantly raised brow. He stroked my arm gently for a moment before taking a seat in his desk chair.

I breathed in deeply, leaning against the desk where he was.

“I don’t know how to say this,” I almost laughed as I spoke.

He shrugged. “I’m sure whatever it is— it’ll be fine. When has it ever not been?”

I nodded, glancing around as if I would find the courage I needed floating around the room, ready for me to grab hold of. It wasn’t there, though, but I knew I shouldn’t keep him waiting.

“I don’t want to call it love because I’m not convinced that I even know what love is. I will say, though, that I like you Spence. I think about you all the time, and I know nothing is going to come of it. I’ve made peace with that. I made peace with it the moment I really saw you for the first time. When you turned around and smiled at me because neither of us knew what to do on that case in Washington a few months ago. I can play it like a movie in my head. I knew I was screwed, but it’s okay because it has to be.”

“Oh.”

“I couldn’t keep hiding it all. Especially after what happened today, I just couldn’t.”

There was a moment of silence, breath baited as if there were anything left to say. Whatever speck of courage I found while speaking had completely and totally left me. It felt like an eternity before I could speak again.

“I’m sorry. I’m— I should go.”

He nodded, speaking quietly. “Yeah.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, pushing down all of the feelings that were bubbling up inside of me. I nodded back at him, packing up the things I needed at my desk and making a beeline for the door.

The fresh air hit my face and forced me to breathe for the first time, though now a racing heart and eyes welling with tears were in company too. I blinked quickly to try to rid them, and to adjust to the bright sun. Too much had happened in the past 48 hours and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. We couldn’t save Rebecca, Spencer almost got shot, and now he probably wouldn’t speak to me again. I could hardly get home without breaking down, and the floodgates opened as soon as I hit the couch in my apartment.

I had pretty much cried myself dry when I heard a knock at my door. I wiped my eyes the best I could and walked over, slowly peeking around the door as I opened it. My heart sank.

“Spence?”

His eyes were wide, and he just looked at me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Are you okay?” He stared as he took in my reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. I wanted to disappear.

“I’m fine, Spencer. What do you need? I’ve had a long day.” I rubbed at my face absentmindedly.

He swallowed. “I, um— Can, could I come in?”

I nodded and he slid past me, practically sprinting to my couch, and taking a seat. I closed the door and went to go sit next to him. I watched him for a moment, but he still didn’t speak.

“Look, Spencer, I’m sorry for—“

“No.” He shook his head.

I stuttered. “Wh— Excuse me?”

“Uh… After you left, after earlier, I-I talked to Morgan.” He stared at me again as if I had any clue what he was talking about.

“Okay?”

“He…” He breathed out hard before composing himself. “I misunderstood. He, quite literally, smacked some sense into me. I didn’t understand what you were saying, I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What do you mean? How was what I said hard to understand?”

“Well, when you said the part about knowing nothing would happen. I don’t— I guess I interpreted that as you didn’t want anything to happen.”

“That’s not…”

“No, I know that now. I know,” he said, scrubbing at his face as he looked away from me. “Um… I don’t know how to say this.”

My heart began racing for a different reason.

“I thought you didn’t want me. Like you felt bad that you liked me but didn’t want to be with me. I just…” He shrugged. “I-I guess I kinda screwed it all up.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He looked to me again, a blush creeping onto his face.

He shook his head as if he hadn’t heard correctly. “I ramble.”

I laughed, unable to keep it in at that point. “You think that would stop me? Spencer, I literally never shut up. Why would I hold that against you? I love when you get excited, even when you’re talking my ear off.”

He smiled, a boyish joy taking over. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I paused. “Spence, you’re amazing. I’ve always thought so. Not to mention you risked your life for me today.”

“Do you— So, you like me?”

“I pretty much gave you a whole confession earlier.”

He looked away, nodding quickly. “I knew it the first time I saw you.”

“You— What? You knew I liked you?”

His brow raised as he glanced back at me. “No! No, I had no clue. I knew I liked you the first time I saw you. You were really nice to me the first time we talked, and I thought you were beautiful. Plus, you’re so smart and funny and you’ve never been mean to me about how much I talk, especially when I remember something about a case or something that has to do with a case that I think could—”

“Spence,” I whispered, scooting in closer to him on the couch. “As much as I love your rambling, I’d really love if you’d just kiss me already.”

He grinned with a little laugh under his breath, leaning in closer.

“Hey.”

I raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“Before we kiss, can I ask you something?”

I tried not to smile. “One question.”

“Would you want to go out with me?”

“Depends on how good this kiss is.”

I started laughing, but was cut short when his lips pressed into mine. His hands grasped my face, pulling me closer. I grabbed his shirt, kissing back with equal fervor. We stayed connected for some time, but it was still shorter than I would have liked: my preferred time would be eternity.

We took a moment to catch our breath, giggling like a couple of kids.

“Was that good enough to date me?” He questioned with a smile.

I ran a hand through his hair, smirking up at him, still practically dazed.

“If I knew it was gonna be that great, I wouldn’t have ever said I’d date you if you did well. Now I think I might have to marry you.”

“Maybe we can try a date first, but I’m open,” he laughed, stroking my cheek. Then his face dropped slightly. “Who’s going to tell the team?”

(EDIT: starting taglists now! let me know if you want to be on any!)

[labrxnth]

Prison Break- Part 7 (Leon Kennedy x Reader Series)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,

CW: Slight Body Horror, Death, Suicide, Death Island Spoilers (obv)

WC: 5718 (oooo baby)

Summary: You and Rebecca Chambers reunite with the rest of the group to end this thing once and for all.

A/N: This is the end of the Death Island content. I have a few more chapters in mind to end this fic so buckle up :^). also the final battle might be a shit show and chaotic to read, but I literally sat down and wrote it as I rewatched it, so it's pretty much 1:1. Sorry if its a jumbled mess I tried my best.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

The hallways were cold and isolating, a memory of the past creeping up to you as you and Rebecca ran down the hallway. Blue fluorescent lights blinked above the two of you and the concrete flooring did nothing but echo footsteps as the two of you proceeded deeper into the jail. 

According to Rebecca, you and her were going to meet up with Chris, Claire, and hopefully Jill. Leon was off on his own, doing God knows what. You had an inkling that he went after Maria, and you were wise enough to stay out of that fight. 

When Leon went off on his own for a fight, he meant business; punches weren’t held when it was a one-on-one fight. Maria signed a death waiver the second she ran off and had Leon trailing her. 

Seeing as though Dr. Antonio Taylor was dead, the two of you needed a win on this mission. You were filled in on everything that happened while you were out of it, Taylor died while Claire tried to keep him from bleeding out. He was helpful enough to give her a thumb stick with something on it. 

You hoped that the six of you would be lucky and it was a vaccine or something along those lines. But you were seldom lucky in this job. 

“So, you and Leon,” Rebecca trailed off. 

“Is running with me through an abandoned prison that boring?” You asked and chuckled. 

“Kinda,” Rebecca replied with a giggle. 

“Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything. It’s new. As in, tonight new I guess,” You replied as the two of you made your way through another hallway. “For a prison, this place is a fucking workout to get through, Jesus Christ.” 

“We should be almost there. We’re headed to the shipment dock,” Rebecca said, sending you a soft smile and a thumbs up. 

The woman always knew how to make a room lighter with her smile and you missed that about her. Over the past year, the two of you had connected a bit, but not as much as her, Chris, and Leon. You didn’t want to intrude on their time together as friends, so you always made up an excuse to not go when you were invited. 

It wasn’t that you never wanted to go, it was genuinely because you thought you would be an intrusion on a private party. 

Their whole friend group intrigued you. Chris always seemed like a meat head to you, a meat head that knew his shit. He was always on and after being around Leon and going through a few missions, you knew why. It was hard to feel like you could relax in this job field. 

Claire seemed like someone that you would be friends with in elementary school, then stick together forever. She always amazed you with how she wasn’t afraid to get straight to the point no matter what or who was in her way. Leon had told you that she was 19 during Raccoon City and your jaw was on the floor. You had a lot of respect for Claire Redfield and she wanted you to feel included in everything the friend group did. 

Rebecca deserved so much more than she was recognized for. She’s done almost everything under the sun at the age she is. It honestly boggled your mind how her’s worked. On top of everything, she was just a sweetheart, humble and friendly.

Jill Valentine was still an enigma to you. Granted, Leon also just met her tonight so you had assumed that she wasn’t a party person. Given everything she’s gone through, you don’t blame her. You still technically hadn’t met her, being almost unconscious while she was in the same room as you. But maybe you would get to meet the enigma tonight. 

All in all, their friend group was impressive and heavily relied on each other to shoulder the experiences that they had gone through. The few times you had gone to their get togethers, you appreciated how present everyone was and how warm and welcoming they were. It felt like a family. 

Maybe after this mission, you would make it a point to go to more get togethers. 

“So, catch me up on what’s going on. I still have no fucking clue,” You said. It feels like everything happened while you were out. If you were feeling like this, you bet the Redfields were just as lost, being infected longer than you were. 

“We’re after Dylan Blake. He used Dr. Taylor’s findings to make a nanobot version of the 

T-virus,” Rebecca explained. 

“World ending again? Sounds like our kind of mission,” You grumbled. “We have to stop meeting like this, Rebecca,” You added, chuckling. 

The soles of your boots hit the floor over and over again, echoing through the cold hallways.

“Agreed,” She replied. The two of you got to the end of the hallway and found a bolt head door. You put your muscle to use and got it open, holding it open for Rebecca as she ran through and closing it behind you. 

Looking around, it seemed like a warehouse, almost like it didn’t belong in the prison. There were shipment boxes strewn around, forklifts, and other construction equipment. Your eyes darted to a catwalk where Jill and a man you hadn’t seen before, but could guess was Dylan Blake, were standing. 

Jill’s gun pointed at Dylan and they were talking, their conversation inaudible from your distance. Closer to you were the Redfields trying to get up to Jill. As you and Rebecca ran to catch up, you heard a vent get kicked out and looked up to see Leon running on the catwalks. 

He was running with the determination and confidence of someone that just won a battle; which you could assume he did considering Maria was nowhere to be found. His eyes locked with yours and he jumped down, scaling shipment boxes and he ran over to you. 

As he got closer, you could see a black eye and a bruise forming on a very broken nose. Red tainted his lips, blood pouring from said broken nose. His hands found your forearms as his eyes locked with yours. 

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?” He asked. 

You scoffed a bit. “How am I feeling? You look like someone took a bat to your face. What happened?” You asked, your hands meeting his face. 

As the two of you talked, you missed Dylan bringing his revolver up to his temple and pulling the trigger. His body staggered back, tripping and falling over the railing behind him and plummeting about 30 feet into the water below. 

All you two heard was the splash of his body hitting the water and your head whipped to where the sound came from. 

“We should…” Leon trailed off. 

“Talk later,” You finished for him. He nodded and ran with you towards the rest of the group. 

Jill was looking over the railing, searching for his body in case it popped back up. When she turned to talk to the group, your heart dropped. Looking between Leon and her, your brain was confused. Jill looked like her and Leon could be related, which did not help your eager heart. 

You didn’t know what you were expecting from hearing the stories of Jill Valentine, but it was not the woman who was in front of you. She had a bobbed side part, brown and a little darker than Leon’s. It was easy to tell that Leon’s hair was just a matured blonde that had faded to brown, but Jill’s was more a darker ashy brown. Her eyes were blue, a softer, yet piercing blue, like Leon’s. 

You would swear up and down that you didn’t have a type, but looking at Leon and Jill, you definitely did. Her whole demeanor read of a person much older than she looked; you made a mental note to ask her about her skin care regime later. She looked like she meant business and you had to remember that you were on a mission, not a meetup.

You could talk later, hopefully.

Jill’s mouth opened to say something, but the whole platform the six of you were on shook. A giant hand grabbed the railing and a monster rose from the water, giving all of you a good look at it. 

It would be hard to try and describe what it was, other than a man and nature made horror beyond all belief. Leon had shared stories with you about some of the things he fought before and he had a hard time explaining some things. His stories usually ended with him saying something like “You had to be there, I don’t know how to describe it” in reference to a mutated dinosaur or alligator. 

This world was fucked up and it fucked up your head some times. 

 Though you would’ve been lying if you said you weren’t a little jealous of him fighting a dinosaur. 

Now, you knew exactly what Leon meant when he said those things because the creature in front of you was beyond any means of description. It was like if a whale sprouted legs like Kamajī from Spirited Away. It had a face almost like a doll, but also nothing like a doll because it was a melted skull.

Again, it was hard for your brain to process how to describe it. 

The creatures roared, it’s ugly face opening and saliva going everywhere. 

“Dylan used the virus to fuse with a bioweapon,” Jill said, her eyes never leaving the thing. 

“Looks like we’re dealing with this first,” Chris huffed.

“Let’s do it,” Leon said, reloading his gun. 

It wasn’t hard for your brain to process the arm sweeping the platform. Jill and Chris cleared it with a jump, Leon used the railing behind you to use as a step launch, you and Rebecca dove under the arm, and Claire being her somehow jumped and spun over it. 

All of you easily cleared the arm, but scattered when it slammed down on the platform, causing the metal under your feet to crumble. 

Jill and Chris got flung onto one side, Claire and Rebecca flung to another, sliding off the platform. You blacked out for a second, only to come to feeling someone’s hand around your wrist, holding you up. Your eyes looked up to see Leon holding onto a support beam from under the platform, holding the two of you dangling in the air. 

Your head whipped to where the monster was and saw a crane next to it. Putting two and two together, your free arm raised up with your handgun, shooting the heavy metal hook off of the crane. It swung in the air, slamming into the monster and making it roar in pain. The metal hook got stuck in what would be the skull’s eye socket, blood spurting from the creature. 

The monster whipped its head back and forth, trying to get free of the hook. Metallic creaking filled the air as the crane started to fall towards Jill and Chris on the ground. 

Explosions went off on the right side of the monster and your eyes could make out Rebecca and Claire with rocket launchers on the ground. 

Looking up, you could see that Leon was straining, trying to keep the two of you up. 

“Drop me, I’ll land on the floor,” You said. His eyes met yours and you could tell he wasn’t mentally present. For some reason, he had the same look in his eyes when he remembered something from his past. Leon looked haunted, like he was reliving something from years ago. 

“Leon, it’s okay, it’s a 10 foot drop,” You said. 

His grip on your wrist tightened, his face scrunched up like he was fighting the memories from whatever he was going through. 

“Hey, Leon!” You said louder, your voice snapping him out of whatever trance he was just in. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, dropping you to the ground. 

As the two of you were getting down from the support beam, grenades were getting launched into the creature, its side erupting in flames on the impact. 

You rolled on impact, lessening the hurt to your ankles as the two of you landed. Leon stood up, helping you up and he ran his hand through his hair. Something he always did when he was stressed out a little too much without an outlet for it. 

“Sorry, just…” He trailed off. 

“Memories, I got it. Don’t worry about it,” You replied and patted his bicep supportingly. “We gotta keep our heads in the game though,” 

Leon nodded and looked around. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an army truck with a gas tankard on the back of it. “That could put a dent in it,” He said and pointed to it.

Your eyes followed his and you nodded. “Good eye, let’s get that thing running,” You replied. The two of you took off running as you could hear chaos behind you. Multiple guns, grenade launchers, and rocket launchers all going off and hitting the monster, only to fail. 

Leon beat you to the driver’s seat, and instead of wasting time arguing, you sucked it up and got in the passenger seat. 

“If you're driving, I get a gun, fork it over, Pretty Boy,” You said and held out your hand to him. 

“You sure know how to treat me like a princess,” He grumbled and reached into his holster, handing you a lightning hawk magnum caliber handgun. 

“Where the shit did you find this?” You asked as he started up the jeep. 

“In the sewers. I was doing our job while you were asleep,” Leon said with a smirk. 

Your hand turned over the gun in admiration, checking the chamber to make sure it was fully loaded. When you process his words you scoffed. 

“I sure had a relaxing nap,” You replied sarcastically. 

Leon drove the truck forward a bit, then hit the breaks. Claire and Rebecca had run behind a concrete support bar and were catching their breath, evading an explosion. Leon parked the jeep and stood up. 

“Claire!” He yelled to get her attention. 

“What?” Claire responded, her and Rebecca’s eyes finding the two of you through the smoke and gunpowder. 

“You still have that password Taylor gave you?” He asked. 

Claire pat the pocket of her jacket. “Yeah, right here.”

“Take Rebecca and stop those drones, we’ll keep him busy!” Leon said. 

Claire and Rebecca were on their feet, nodding in agreement. As soon as the two of them took off, Rebecca turned back around to face the two of you. 

“Don’t die!” She said, then turned back around. 

It was unfortunate that the people in your life had to say that to you on a fairly regular basis. 

Leon got back in the tuck and put it into drive, driving past the two girls and towards the monster. 

“So uh, what’s the plan?” You asked. 

“Jump when I tell you to,” Leon replied, smirking a bit. 

“This is the last fucking time I get in a vehicle with you driving,” You sighed, watching the monster get closer and closer to the truck. 

About 30 feet before the truck collided with the creature, Leon nodded at you. “Now!” He barked. The two of you swung onto the roof and ran along the truck towards the back. Your ears picked up the sound of a grenade pin dropping and you turned to see a grenade in Leon’s hand. His spare hand grabbed your wrist and the two of you jumped when you reached the end of the truck. Leon threw the grenade behind the two of you and pulled you into his chest. He rolled so that he took the brunt of the impact of the concrete floor as the two of you hit it. 

Rolling a few times, the two of you ended up sprawled out on the floor. Leon still holding you close to his chest and you nestled between his body and the ground. The explosion came soon after, Leon’s shoulders hunching over as he flinched and the heat of the flames being felt by your legs. 

“I’m getting too old for this shit,” Leon groaned. 

“I didn’t ask you to be my landing pad,” You chuckled back as the two of you recovered, getting to your feet. 

“A ‘thank you’ would suffice,” Leon said, dusting the soot off of his shirt. Your hands helped him, patting off the dust and debris. 

“Thank you,” You said in a dramatic sing-songy tone. “My hero.”

Leon chuckled and looked to your left, seeing a crate. “Let’s see if we can find any goodies,” He said and ran over, you following close behind him. 

The tankard did nothing but stall the creature for a few seconds, only making it angrier. 

“Tell me,” You said. “The missions you had before I joined the D.S.O., were they always like this?” You asked, looting the various crates with Leon. Your eyes searched for ammo or any new guns, the Lightning Hawk being lost in the tankard explosion.

“Actually, yeah. The Arias thing was actually pretty straightforward, more than I’mused to,” He replied as his fingers unlatched a crate. 

“You call almost getting squeezed to death ‘straightforward’? What is your life?” You asked. 

Leon smiled a bit, exhaling a laugh. He found an automatic rifle with a drum in one of the crates and started pocketing any ammo for it. Finding a rifle of your own, you followed him towards the monster, climbing over various storage crates and shipping boxes. 

The monster must’ve noticed the two of you and been angry about the tankard, because before you could even load rounds into it, a foot came crashing down onto the shipping container the two of you were on. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Leon get launched into the air as you fell towards the ground. 

Taking the blunt impact, you coughed out a groan and got to your feet. Maybe Leon was right about being too old for this shit, you certainly felt like you were getting too old for this shit. 

“Chris, Leon!” You heard Jill yell. Looking around, you couldn’t find Leon, until you looked up and saw him hanging from the rafters. You wondered how the fuck he got up there, then starting running towards Jill and Chris. 

“What’s that?” Chris asked, looking up at where Jill was. 

She was holding a big rail gun looking weapon on top of various shipping containers. “A plasma rifle,” She replied nonchalantly. “It heats up to 20,000 degrees, but it’s short range,” She added, struggling against the weight of the weapon, then kneeling down to get into a better position. 

As she knelt down, she lined up the plasma rifle, then looked over at Chris and you. “Can you get that thing any closer?” She asked. 

Chris scoffed and went to turn around. As he ran past you, you heard him mutter, “‘Can we get it closer’ she says.”

You ran up to Jill, jumping on top of the crates, and snagging another rifle as you made your way. Looking up to where Leon was, you saw him safely drop and slide down a broken catwalk, leading to an army jeep. 

Thanking whatever sick and twisted deity was watching over you, you were elated that you weren’t getting into another death trap with the man you loved. 

Jumping across more shipping containers, almost to Jill, your brain stopped working as it thought about the words you just used. 

Loved.

The man you love.

Shaking your head, willing yourself to stay in the present, you made your way over to Jill who was charging up the plasma gun. She nodded in acknowledgement to you. 

“I’m (Y/n), we haven’t met yet. I’m Leon’s field partner,” You said, aiming down your rifle’s sights and taking shots at the melted skull on the creature. 

“Jill,” She replied, staring at the plasma rifle’s meter. 

“Hell of a first introduction,” You added and smiled.

“It’s always a fucking shitshow, isn’t it?” Jill replied, chuckling. 

Looking towards the floor, you could see Leon haphazardly driving the army jeep and Chris stationed on the back of it at the artillery gun. The two were trying to lure the creature closer to you and Jill, guns blazing in the process. 

“Jesus Christ, you could not pay me enough to be in that Jeep,” You heard Jill mutter. 

“Agreed,” You replied, continuing to take shots at the monster, trying to focus on the same spots Chris was. 

Your ear picked up the sound of something charging and out of the corner of your eye, you could see electrical currents running through the gun. The monster had fallen right into the trap, surging towards you and Jill. 

“Time to light you up,” Jill said and smirked, aiming the plasma rifle at the monster. 

With the pull of the trigger, a white hot beam shot out from the gun, the force throwing both Jill and you back a few feet, your back hitting another shipping container. The creature roared and fell to the ground, its arm hitting the jeep Chris and Leon were in, sending the jeep flying. Chris and Leon went over the windshield and hit the ground as it flew in the air and hit the wall, crumpling. 

Through the sound of metal crashing and explosions dying, you could hear Leon’s voice. 

“Is that it?” He asked, exhaustion heavy in his voice. “Did we kill it?”

As the smoke and dust settled, you all could see the monster laying on the floor, seemingly defeated. As you went to help Jill up, you heard a splotching sound; the monster was back up again.  

Jill scurried back to the plasma rifle as the monster recovered slowly, its eye set on the two of you. In that moment, if you could’ve traded places with anyone else in the whole world you would’ve. 

“One… more… to finish ‘ya,” Jill said as she lugged the plasma rifle back into position. You helped her pull the rifle, lining it up to the creature, it being harder this time around with how exhausted and beat up the two of you were. 

The plasma rifle started charging up again, starting from 0%. The monster was 20 feet in front of you two, slowly closing in. 

“God damn it,” Jill said under her breath. You looked around, trying to see if you could see the rifle you had earlier, but it was lost in the various rubble and debris. “Come on, come on!” Jill said as the plasma rifle kept charging. The monster was about 10 feet from the two of you, it’s ugly face tracking you and Jill. 

“Jill…” You said, your hand on her shoulder. Electricity surged through the plasma rifle as it was nearing close to being fully charged. 

“Fuck!” Jill yelled as a giant foot crashed down on the shipping container, sending you and Jill flying through the air. 

Upon impact, you did what you knew to do and rolled, but you felt two familiar hands stop your inertia. Getting your bearings, you could see Leon at your side, helping you up as he simultaneously pulled a handgun from his vest. “You okay?” He asked urgently. 

“Couldn’t be better,” You replied, getting on your feet. Off to your side, you could see Chris helping Jill up, the monster making its way towards them. 

Leon ran over to them and fired shots into the creature’s skull, only for the bullets to appear to be doing nothing to it, just like before. 

Your eyes scanned the ground, for even the smallest handgun, only to remain unvictorious. 

The monster’s head got close to Jill, Chris, and Leon, only for it to stop in its tracks and turn around, seemingly uninterested in the three of them. 

Leon’s shoulders relaxed, bringing his gun down. “Huh?” He exhaled. Jill and Chris stared at the creature, ready for it to turn back around and decide that they were its dinner any second. 

The four of you watched it pull itself along the floor, headed towards the water. With squishing sounds, it left a trail of blood and what could be only described as snail juice behind it. 

Chris and Leon nodded at each other and made their way back to the jeep. Leon gently grabbed your bicep and dragged you with him, you relenting and getting in the passenger seat. Leon hopped in the driver’s seat and Chris manned the gun, just like minutes previous. 

“It’s headed for open water,” Leon said, starting up the jeep again. 

“Like hell it is," Chris said, reloading the artillery gun. 

The jeep took off on the opposite side of the docks from where the monster, and unfortunately enough, Jill were. Your eyes caught that she was running with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, set on something. She managed to get in front of the monster, dodging its legs in the process. 

With a loud metal clanking sound, you also noticed that the gate was closing, no doubt thanks to Clarie and Rebecca. 

“What’s the plan?” You asked anxiously, eyes locked on the monster. 

“That’s for you to decide,” Leon said. 

“Me? You’re the one driving!” You replied, eyes widening at Leon. 

“Exactly! I’m the driver, you’re the planner,”

“The driver should know where the hell they’re going and what the hell they’re doing!”

“I know where we’re going,” Leon replied, a tinge defensively.

“Well there’s only one way to go! Forward!” You rolled your eyes. 

“Could you two stop bickering like an elderly couple? There’s a case back here with a rocket launcher, military grade,” Chris cut in. 

You and Leon stared at each other, then back at Chris. “That sounds like a great plan,” You said, smirking. 

Leon parked the jeep, then jumped out of it, and ran around to the back to take the case from Chris. 

Jill was still on the other side of the docks with the creature, now with a flare in her hand, yelling insults and exploits at the monster. You looked at her in awe, wondering and hoping you looked even half as badass as she did right now. 

Chris stood above Leon, watching him try to figure out how the rocket launcher worked, making your confidence in them waver slightly. 

“You know how to use this?” Chris asked. Your confidence halved. 

“It’s got a trigger doesn’t it?” Leon shrugged. Your confidence was abysmal. Leon instructed Chris to put the two halves of the rocket launcher together and started to line it up. 

“Hey, (y/n), help us line this thing up,” Chris said. The military level rocket launcher needed two people to man it, one facing forward, Leon, and one facing away, Chris. The person facing forward had the barrel obstructing their entire eyesight. 

You rushed over to the two men, standing right next to Leon. “Do you just need eyes, or help lifting the damn thing?” You asked. 

“Just eyes,” Leon and Chris both said at the same time. 

“Tell us where the bastard is,” Chris said. 

Your eyes panned over to the monster, then to the gate, seeing it lowering way slower than it should've been. An idea formed in your mind as you watched Jill dive into the water, the monster trailing after her. 

It was a long shot, and had to be timed perfectly, but you could see Jill and the creature underwater, making their way towards the gate. 

“Better idea, aim at the gate belt,” You said. “Leon-”

“Got it,” Leon said and got on his knees, his mind matching yours and your idea. Chris followed suit, the launcher resting on their shoulders. 

Telling them to aim a little higher, and having Leon lift it even higher than Chris, you lined them up to the best of your abilities. Your eyes went back underwater to track Jill as you directed the launcher to the right slightly. 

“Leon, I need you to fire as soon as I say it, not a second later,” You said. 

You watched as Jill got dragged by the creature underwater a few yards, then cut herself free. The monster didn’t care about her anymore, only seeking the open water. 

“Got it,” He replied, his voice strained from lifting the rocket launcher. 

The monster jumped out of the water, surging forward towards the gate. 

“Now!” You said. 

“Fire!” Leon said and pulled the trigger. Him and Chris got jolsted back at the recoil, then put the launcher down, watching the rocket hit the gate belt. With an explosion,the gate came crashing down, cutting the monster in half. 

“And that’s that,” Leon said, sighing. Chris stood up, rolling his shoulder blade and stretching. 

Jill resurfaced and swam over to the three of you, pulling herself up onto the concrete floor. Chris rushed over to help her up as she coughed up water and got her bearings. 

You heard footsteps approaching you and felt an elbow rest on your shoulder. You didn't even have to look to know who it was. 

“I’ve only been doing this for a few years, I don’t know how you all have done it for decades,” You sighed. 

“Honestly, I don’t know either,” Leon said, his exhaustion evident in his voice. “It helps that we’re all together. Saving the world sucks less ass when you have friends to do it with,” he added and chuckled. 

You looked up at him and noticed how bruised his nose was getting. “Did you reset that yet?” You asked and gestured to his nose. 

“No, why? Does it look that bad?” He asked, his eyebrows knitting together. 

“Yeah, it looks like you got hit with a metal pipe,” You said, your hand gently grabbing under his chin and turning his face over, checking for other wounds. 

“That’s actually not that far from the truth,” Leon replied and chuckled. 

“Maria got you good huh?” You asked, a teasing smile on your face. 

“Slammed my head into a railing three times, hurt like a bitch,” He said. 

Your eyebrows raised, surprised that someone was actually able to get a hit on Leon. Over the past few years, you learned that while it wasn’t rare for him to catch a fist, it was rare for it to happen more than once in succession. 

“She’s dead though, so it doesn’t really matter anymore,” Leon added and shrugged. 

You let go of his face, wanting to feel the stubble again as soon as you let go. “Sounds like she deserved it,” You replied and chuckled. 

“You’re such a people person,” Leon replied, chuckling as well. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

The six of you loaded onto the B.S.A.A. helicopter, courtesy of Chris and Jill, and buckled up, ready to go home. You and Leon had managed to get into contact with Hunnigan who was, understandably, distraught at losing contact with you two then Rebecca. 

Talking to her, you found out that Hunnigan actually helped Rebbecca with the vaccine and locating exactly where you all went missing. It was times like this that you remembered how cool and amazing your F.O.S. operator was. 

Looking out the window, you almost didn’t notice Leon taking the seat next to you. He sat down and looked at you for a few seconds, his expression unreadable, before speaking. 

“We need to talk when we get back,” He said quietly, so only the two of you could hear. 

Your eyes met his and you nodded, knowing exactly what conversation the two of you needed to have. The exact conversation that you had been putting off for years. 

“Yeah, we do,” You agreed. 

“We have a while before the helicopter reaches San Francisco, get some rest,” Leon said. 

“You too,” You replied, a hint of accusation in your voice. 

“I’ll sleep as soon as you do,” Leon chuckled, his hands up in surrender. 

The engine of the helicopter started up and the blades started turning. The six of you put on your headphones, the blades and the engine making it too loud to hear anyone else. As the helicopter took off, your eyes remained out the window, watching alcatraz slowly disappear. 

Your head leaned on Leon’s shoulder, you finding it to be the most comfortable pillow you had at the time. 

“Reminds me of New York City last year,” Rebecca said, her voice being picked up by all the headphones.

You, Chris, and Leon slightly smiled, remembering the mission to stop Arias. 

While waiting for the helicopter, you and Leon had gotten caught up to speed, being informed how Dylan Blake took over Arias’s crime syndicate and teamed up with Maria. He promised her revenge for Leon killing her father and they used Dr. Taylor’s research to engineer the nanobots responsible for spreading the strand of the T-virus that Dylan had. 

“If I hear Glen Arias’s name come out of someone new again, I’m slamming my head against the concrete,” You mumbled. 

“You’re getting grumpy, you need to sleep,” Leon said.

“Im 33, not a child,” You said, a frown on your face. “I don't ‘get grumpy’.” You added.

“You can say that all you want, still doesn’t change that you need to sleep,” He replied. 

“....fine…” You grumbled and shifted a bit, getting comfortable.

Rebecca giggled, her gaze locked on how your head was resting on Leon’s shoulder and a soft smile on her lips. A year ago, she clocked it, asking you about you and Leon, while killing time in the helicopter while the vaccine spread through NYC. Specifically asking if you two were in a relationship. At the time, you only blushed and tried to steer your conversation in a different direction, assuring her you two were just work partners. 

Now here she was, seeing the two of you act like you were the only people in the world. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───

[vole-mon-amour]

3x08, part 2.

The first thing I notice? Jamie. :) That boy can't sit straight or stand still. <3 (Also Jan, heh.) And Jamie's so fond of Henry. Surprisingly good with kids, yeah, and it's wonderful that Jamie pays him so much attention while being Henry's fav player.

All the boys are smiling and cheering for the kid, this so incredibly wholesome. Even the ones that aren't exactly participating are still smiling. I love this show, man. I rewatched this moment at least 7 times. I would like to be Henry in that moment, please.

I also can't get over the "I got that all covered" line and the cut to the boys just being boys and having the time of their life out on the pitch with Henry. Perfect training & Rebecca being more than ok with that. :') I need gifs of this. I need a cut of this scene only so I can have it on my blog with the boys cheering. I love EVERYTHING about this moment.

Yeah, I'm definitely still in love with her. Queen. Also, the line of this ep so far, "getting engaged".

I know there's no other way to say it, but when characters are on a first name basis with each other instead of their usual nicknames, you know something is up.

WHAT?! I'm not the one who's dating Jack, so: she can go fuck herself. I absolutely hate how toxic they make her and her relationship with Keeley, but I also can't ignore all of this. What. the actual. fuck?????

Either call Rebecca and meet her after or visit Rebecca at work. Because this??? Ughhh. Rebecca would never. Screw it, I'm back on my bullshit. Keeley and Rebecca should have been dating basically from the beginning.

Not in the way I expected, but the tongue returns. He's such a dork & I love him. :') The fact that none of the boys comment on his shenanigans bc they're so used to him just being This Way. <3

A Lynx dealer, I'm screaming. :D Though I'm very happy to see Jamie and Colin interacting. "Smart boy." My heart is soft for this friendship. I need this to be connected with Colin's sexuality and Jamie making a statement as bisexual. If not in the show (shame), then as fanfiction.

Also, the tattoo isn't there, I'm sad.

!!! I like how they keep mentioning how awful The Sun is. Like, it's a thing & everyone knows that & i appreciate them doing that since s1.

Colin, sweetie... I understand why he does that, but I wish he wouldn't and didn't.

My boy gets it. <3 Though the part of "that's why I delete all photos from my phone". Babe, all this stuff is probably connected to iCloud or Google Drive, which is... yeah. Won't help you much. Also, your videos are still somehow on twitter. :D

People said "let us see Jamie's legs" and the creators obliged. Isn't he cold though? C'mon.

Listen.... the path they walked since s1? I can't get over it. The growth!! The character development!!

Boys will be boys. :')

Jamie Tartt, an art and interior design lover.

The fact that that line is cut to Jamie and Roy's reactions. My heart. When you're two men that still love your ex. I am very deep in my feelings here. There is SO much happening here, my goodness.

Jamie watching Roy walking away after he heard about that, and both being deep in their thoughts. This drives me crazy tbh. And Jamie's reaction, his love for Keeley. I'm !!!!! :(((((

I'm sure Isaac is gonna make things right if needed to and he's gonna be very protective over Colin if exposed, but the anxiety in this is real for Colin. I totally get it.

[icanseethefuture333]

hello, I’ve really enjoyed all your readings so far - would you be willing to do something on felix from skz ideal type?

A reading on

Stray Kids' Felix's ideal type:

Qualities:

Channeled song: Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar, from Steven Universe, Let My Baby Stay by Amandla Stenberg, & Just A Taste by Tinashe.

For the qualities that Felix looks for in his ideal partner - he would like someone who is creative, passionate, and nurturing. They could be shy or self conscious, something about them that's a bit anxious. Felix would be willing to learn his partner's love language and assure them that they are the only one they have his eyes on. I had tension in my forehead while shuffling and The Empress card has a ray of colors surrounding the character's head. So Felix could like that his partner is intuitive or psychic, they know when to be tender towards his needs without asking. He would like to feel seen and heard by his partner. I'm envisioning like after work, he would crawl into his partner's arms and just take a nap. Felix could already know who his ideal partner is or is manifesting them, there is a telepathic connection present. There could be some sort of epiphany that will happen when they realize they are in love with each other. I am reminded of Steven and Connie's dynamic from Steven Universe, they were an inseparable duo, it's like their connection seemed divinely guided. Felix could view his ideal partner as a wish fulfillment. They could have qualities of a "starseed".

Personality:

Channeled song: Everything Stays by Olivia Olson, from Adventure Time & Sativa by Jhené Aiko ft Swae Lee.

Felix's partner's personality could be described as a "late bloomer". In their youth, they could have been "nerdy" or "quirky". They were very pure and had gentle mannerisms. Possibly teased for their interests or deemed as weird by other children. They could randomly have flashbacks and feel embarrassed, triggered, or upset about their past / past actions. This could also mean they are mourning the loss of their past. Possibly dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety or trauma. For a while, his ideal partner could have felt stuck in life, and wishing for change, but it never came. They had to learn to change the things they can control and let go of what they cannot control. They are wiser and more balanced within themselves now. Their personality is experiencing a shift. Felix's ideal partner could be described now as peaceful, mellow, rich, abundant, and lucky, but also free spirited and playful. "Green", "earth goddess", Gaia energy 🧝‍♀️🏞🌎? They could be spiritual.

Physical traits:

Channeled song: Two Melodies by Zion.T ft. Crush, Star Signs by Odunsi ft. Runtown, Gold by Jojo, Honey (Medasin redo) by Kucka, & Dreams Are Real by Tinashe (her Amethyst mixtape is signifcant).

A head turner. "A face you will never forget." The type of beauty you will see once but remember forever - mysterious and memorable. Felix's ideal partner could be described as ethereal, siren-like, they have a very dreamy appearance. Their face could be naturally youthful but looks more mature when they put makeup on / dress up for evenings. "Shapeshifter". They could appear or dress differently depending on their mood. Overall, something about them feels delicate with an edge. Felix could praise or talk about his ideal partner very proudly "My girl!". Manic pixie dream girl vibes.

Long dark (black or brown) hair (there is a bend or curl to their hair. Its thick, so wavy to curly hair texture).

Straight or round eyebrows

Pouty facial expression

"Glossy eyes", eyes are dark but shiny. Could look like orbs 👁👁

Eyes that look like they have been crying, so dark circles or puffy tearbags (aegyo sal)

Round or heart shape face (their forehead is the widest part of their face).

Small/short face

"Ears"??? Something about their ears is noticeable. Whether that means they are large, tiny, or pointy. Their ears could be cute.

Wears earrings a lot or their ears are pierced.

Wide or defined shoulders

Decolletage area is attractive (collarbones, chest, breasts, etc)

Long limbs

Long legs / leggy body

On a day to day basis they dress casual, but when they go out they dress very colorful and alternative.

Mostly wears pastels and black.

Spring color season.

Celebrities/influencers who are similar to his ideal type: Bailey Bass (specifically her role as Tsireya), heyeloisa, Maria Isabel, Hanan Ismail, Malaika Firth, Gemma Ward, Aya Jones, Pasabist, sa1ntmarta, Melodie Monrose, Jessica Alexander, Tyla, Mia Goth, lame.cobain, Cindy Kimberly, Joyce Wrice, NingNing, & Amandla Stenberg

[jicklet]

Oh no I forgot you ship Ted/Becca.

😆 Hi anon! I hope this doesn't ruin your day or anything, whomstever you are. If you don't ship it or ship something opposing or whatever's your bag, I'm sure we can still be friends, or whatever we are.

But I've been mulling this all over since the finale, and this is a good excuse to get my thoughts out. Because I come from ye old timey shipping days of "the idea of them together is cool, regardless of whether it happens or not." so that wasn't really my problem with the ending.

Here are the things that are true:

I really like themes and parallels. I like connecting dots and finding connections and all that jazz

The number of themes and parallels they set up between Ted and Rebecca was delicious and very fun for me.

My reaction to the finale is less upset than it is frustrated and confused.

My frustration isn't purely 'they didn't get together romantically so it sucks.' I had started making peace early S3 with realizing it probably wasn't gonna happen

I am frustrated because I wanted all those bits of cool narrative shit they laid out to Do Something

I am frustrated because it feels like Ted and Rebecca have had very few emotionally connected scenes since season one, and what's the point of parallel journeys and soulmateism if their journeys are going to stay so parallel and not join up more, and then just apparently diverge completely

And on the apparent diverging, I don't love it but it would have sucked less if their lines just matched up more in the middle! That could be poignant! But as is, it's more disappointing than tragic, because whatever potential was there wasn't almost realized and then lost, but instead just... never really approached. It feels wasted.

The show did not owe us them getting together, but what it did give us, I found unsatisfying. That's just a bummer, man.

Forgive me this metaphor but I cannot find a better way to put it: I am frustrated because I feel like I got ridden for 3 seasons while they went 'just wait it'll feel so good' and then they were like 'are you ready?' and then just hopped off and left.

I am confused because at the end of their story, I cannot figure out what I am meant to be feeling about it.

Again, I didn't need them to get together romantically, they totally could've found some other way to make it satisfying! But. Ted and Rebecca getting together romantically would have also tied it up in a lot of ways that worked and made the narrative satisfying.

Having a romance arc that works with their character arcs and the themes they've built on is just really cool as a story.

Obviously all that parallel journey stuff would've actually been leading them somewhere, ie to each other, yay woo

And not to each other just because they've been through similar shit, but because, as that last post said, among a lot of other reasons, they've been set up well to be what the other person needs.

Romance is not the be all, end all. But:

Ted and Rebecca both want to be in love with someone, someday.

Here is someone who already understands and balances and supports them.

Like, that's awesome. Is that not the qualities you want for them in a future romantic partner?

I can't see how it diminishes their friendship if it caries on very similar to it has been, just like, sometimes they smooch. Maybe I'm just too demisexual for this idk

Boat guy. I like boat guy, but he's a chiller version of Ted. I can't find that post that points out all the parallels there, but that episode by the time we got to Kenny Rogers I was like. Uh. Hm.

It's confusing to have boat guy have a beautifully intimate evening with Rebecca, all the while having so many specific details similar to Ted, and then just act like romantic Tedbecca is a wild, character-ruining concept.

Because the show ends with Ted leaving and Rebecca miserably walking out of the airport and straight into proxy-Ted. I have no idea how to feel about that.

I could keep going, but I'm about out for now, so uh. Woe, wasted Tedbecca potential be upon ye~

[alt-2077]

Maine's Crew crushing on a cold and quiet s/o

chars. david, lucy, maine, dorio, kiwi, pilar, rebecca, falco, sasha w⚠️. smoking, alcohol, affection, possibly a bit of ooc, very very minor spoilers genre. fluff, headcanons wc. 3.9k note. you're apart of maine's crew as well. idk if i'll ever write headcannons this long with this many characters again. lost myself a little towards the end as well because i wanted to just get it out.

David Martinez

When he first met you, he was nervous. You gave off this very aloof aura.

You were in Maine's Crew, so of course you had to be dangerous, right?

Regardless he tried to approach you, might as well be on good terms with everyone in the crew, right?

You guys made small chat every now and then but they eventually started to turn into genuine conversations.

The conversations didn't outweigh the silence you two would bask in sometimes.

When you first invited him over to the apartment, he was ecstatic and didn't turn down the offer.

He was still nervous but trusted you wouldn't do anything, even after the Lucy incident.

You'd two would have conversations that were deeper than any other ones you both had experience. You got to learnt about his past and he got to learn about yours.

He grew to like you. Lots.

More and more as time went on. He couldn't separate himself from you much and got teased plenty by Maine who just so happen to notice the lovestruck chance in David.

He was outside your door one night, you'd invited him over once again, but he had kindled up a little plan.

This was the night he'd confess to you, or at least he hoped it'd go that way.

You noticed he was in his thoughts, rarely saying much and not talking a lot like you guys did when you were alone. So, you asked him what's up.

He couldn't keep it in anymore and let his confession spew out of his mouth. It was a little difficult to understand him but you caught gist.

He froze up when he felt lips on his. Realising it was you, he loosened up.

When you separated, you looked at him with your forehead leaning against his. Confessing that you liked him too and that he doesn't have to worry anymore.

Needless to say, the rest of the night was filled with kisses and cuddles.

He was in love.

Lucy

She noticed how distant you were ever since you joined them. Despite also being withdrawn herself, she decided to make the first move.

At first, it was almost like a minor interrogation, some of which you bothered to answer but your began to trust her some more with information about your personal life as time went on.

After jobs, you eventually started to go with her to her apartment to relax.

She showed you the BD on the moon and both of you would enjoy the atmosphere. It was fun. It gave a euphoric ambience, even.

If you smoked or drank alcohol, she'd offer you some.

It was a new feeling. She couldn't get enough.

Visits became very frequent. Often working out together, having lunch or dinner, enjoying the moon on top of her apartment or in the BD.

She was so sweet and kind to you. Maine commented how he's never seen her like that with anyone else but you.

She always worried about your safety during jobs. Staying close to you but never got in your way.

Sometimes after jobs, both of you would skip the parties to go straight to either yours or her place.

Many deep conversations would always follow, you learnt about her past and you'd quickly comfort her. It was a new behaviour from you that was unexpected but fully welcomed.

And to be honest? She wanted more.

Eventually she started to be a little affectionate in touches. Often playing with your hair or holding you hand. If you were uncomfortable with it though, she'd stop and find another way in being affectionate.

However, she decided she'd make the first move whilst you two were in her bed together.

She'd softly start by looking at you before slowly leaning in to connect her lips with yours.

It was addictive and lasted ages with no end in site.

That night only progressed further with words of love.

Maine

You're reserved personality didn't intimidate him. Have you seen how fucking massive this dude is??

Always offered to buy you drinks at parties.

Always protected and shield you from enemies on the job.

You didn't need to be protected, you were able to handle yourself. Telling him that was like talking to a brick wall though. He didn't listen. He just wanted to make sure you were safe and it made him feel stronger in a way.

He'd always find an excuse to accompany you on anything. I mean, what if some got the better of you while your guard was down? Of course he doesn't genuinely think that though.

Would never stop talking to you or teasing you about how quiet you were.

He loved it though.

And that's when he knew that he had fallen for you. Hard.

Inevitably, you began to talk back. Albeit snarky remarks, he still saw a chance in your reciprocation to his comments.

The snarky remarks and banters eventually became small chatter to conversations.

He started to be a little more touchy, always having a hand or arm around your shoulder, though for only a little time.

If you drank, you'd both often go to the Afterlife to drink.

Talking about the future of his crew and hoping to become some of the best mercs Night City has ever seen.

He told you about his history, his problems, anything and everything. He knew wouldn't be judged. He trusted you more than anyone in the crew.

He loved the comfort he received from you. Hugging started to become a regular interaction between you two when you were alone.

And then hugging became cuddling.

Comes to see you at your place heaps. Usually without notice. You got used to expecting him when you'd hear a knock at your door.

And when nothing was planned, getting calls from him became a known sign he wanted to hang about with you.

One night at the Afterlife with you alone, he had his arm wrapped around your shoulder and was oddly quiet.

After some silence, you finally asked what was wrong and he chuckled to himself before turning to you.

You were still as confused as you could be before he smirked and leaned into your ear to whisper that you've casted a spell on him. Before you could even reply, he kissed you.

You were stunned, but shortly after reciprocated the kiss and melted into his touch.

Eventually make-out sessions at the Afterlife became a regular interaction between you two.

Oh, and of course you're both dating now. PDA is big with him.

Dorio

Like Maine, she wasn't scared to approach you. Loved talking to you, even if you never said anything back.

Unlike Maine, she didn't try to protect you in fights. She would if she needed to but she knew you had your own in a fight.

Encounters with her would be slow and rare at the start but eventually catch pace fairly fast.

She was very caring towards you. Always asking if you were alright during meet-ups and/or if she just saw you alone and detached from the crew in your own little area.

Her attentive charm became comforting and you'd go to her or open up a little if something was the matter.

She felt very happy that she was that one you'd come to if something was wrong.

Dare I say it even boosted her ego a little.

You or her would always find a way to spend a little time together, even if it was just sitting down and having a drink.

Always asks to come see you at your apartment.

She was addicted to your company and she knew that she felt something for you. Something that she wanted to explore. She took her time to drop hints here and there.

If you oblivious to her some of her advances, she'd be a bit more obvious for you.

If you weren't, you'd express some interested back.

And at this point, it's just whoever made the first move.

Cuddling would be common amongst the both of you but they usually wouldn't last too long. She was a little worried that you'd start to become uncomfortable but if you expressed in your own way that you didn't mind. They'd continue a little longer.

She always offered to buy you things.

If you two were walking together and you stared at something a little too long, she'd remember and take it as a chance to visit the shop in her own time to buy you that item. If it was expensive, she wouldn't mind stealing it.

Gifts became a pretty regular thing with her.

She found enjoyment in spoiling you a little. She loved the small glint in your eye when she surprises you with an item of your interest.

Oh, she always offers you to work out with her. Basically your personal trainer sometimes, it was very sweet.

It took a little while for her to confess to you but it couldn't of gone any better than it did.

She took you to a secluded place where you both could be alone outside.

She hesitated a little bit but wasn't very long until she told you why she brought you here and confessed.

She was a little nervous, like a shy soft giant. So, what better thing to do than kiss her to relax her nerves?

She melted into the kiss and you both continued the night with care and love. (take that how you will)

Kiwi

When you both met, you rarely talked. Though, it surprised you when she approached you first at one of the parties that was taking place after a successful job. Of course you wouldn't show that you were surprised though.

She sat with you and let the quiet sit for a little before speaking a word. It was a small conversation but she enjoyed that you even replied back her.

These instances would happen time and time again when you'd both be exhausted from the crew and just need some peace.

It became a usual occurrence for either one of you to go searching for each other after spending time with the crew and you grew close.

Kiwi wasn't one to trust a soul but she found herself at ease and letting her guard down around you. It was.. a new feeling.

The invitation to her apartment came fairly slow though

You were both very sluggish when it came to your relationship.

Seeing each other at either one of your places was very rare and were usually offers rather than asks.

They were rarely denied though. The only time they were was if either of you were busy.

Eventually either one of you would start to drop things to hang out with each other.

She never got affectionate with you. She was still to herself.

And to be honest, she was a little scared.

I mean, what if you're just going to string her along and she's just used for some big plan of yours. She doesn't believe it but she still needs to be cautious, she doesn't know your intentions.

She does care about you.

During jobs and instances where she has to do netrunning, she always asks you to keep an eye out for her. Just in case if something happens.

She knows you can handle yourself and someone else if you need to so she trusts you with her life in situations like these.

Every time you both get out alive, the feeling grows stronger.

She starts to become more protective of you now.

Whenever Maine or Pilar picks or bothers you, she's always to your rescue to say something back to them before walking away with you to go do your own thing.

It took a really long time the confession to come but she knew that the feelings she felt were heavy for you and she needed to act out on them because the persistence was getting on her nerves.

So, while you both were at her apartment, she just looked at you and said what she need to say. No hesitation to be seen.

It came a little of a shock to you but you kissed her forehead and leaned on her. It was obvious in your reaction that you reciprocated.

Pilar

Thought your coldness was kinda hot.

Any time he'd get the chance, he'd sit next to you. Usually with one of his arms covering the back of the seat or one your shoulders.

He was very determined to fuck you and at first, that's all it was. Then he actually grew to kinda really like you?

It was new. He never thought of anything else but sex, but with you, he wanted to go further. He actually put some effort into it.

Still was his crazy, sex-craved self though. Just with.. more love?

There'd be times where you just leave whenever he'd even remotely open his mouth.

But there'd be other times where you'd just stay and listen to what he had to say because you didn't have anything else better to do, so why not?

Every now and then you'd humour him but only a bit, mainly by lightly smirking or humming.

He saw this as affirmation that you were totally into him. So he got a little more touchy.

If you weren't comfortable with how he was to you though, he'd tone it down but still let some things slip out. If you glared at him, he'd immediately whimper and apologise.

God forbid Rebecca saw this though. She'd never let him live it down.

Speaking of Rebecca, she was usually around a lot with Pilar so it'd be the three of you sometimes if you were hanging out.

Lots of loud, loud bickering.

If you left midway they probably wouldn't of even have noticed during but would definitely call you when they finally did.

Rebecca wasn't always tagging along though so don't worry.

Pilar was always with you, even if you didn't ask for it. Always having one of his freakishly long arms around you. Of course if you said so, he'd leave you alone.

He was very surprised whenever he invited you over and you accepted or you offered him to come to your place.

He started becoming more normal when you two were together and just by yourselves.

There'd just be conversations. None of them meaningful by any circumstances but enjoyable regardless. Ok well, maybe a handful of meaningful one. He's not the kinda guy to just open up to someone. So it takes a bit for him to get used to it.

Unsuspecting visits became more and more common, to the poin they kinda just were expected with him.

During one of the hangouts at your place. He got serious. it was scary, honestly.

He sighed before explaining his predicament with his feelings towards you and apologises for he behaviour.

You just smiled softly before placing your lips against his and forgiving him.

After that night, he was a changed man (not really).

Rebecca

Like her brother, she thought you were very hot. Opposites attract after all.

Followed you everywhere, always talked to you even if you didn't say anything back.

At first, her personality was annoying but you grew to enjoy the company and it wasn't very long until you started talking back. She was very happy to finally have an actual conversation instead of just talk to herself.

You both were together basically everywhere you went. You'd both visit her apartment every now and then. Of course, it'd get very rowdy with her and her brother bantering and him not leaving either of you alone.

She'd always tell him to fuck off if he made any kind of sexual or crude remark about you and then just shove you both away from him.

Despite her being loud, she was very caring towards you and loved taking care of you. Even if you didn't ask for it.

She hug or cuddle you a lot. If you weren't comfortable about any of it though, she'd stop before pouting cutely and whispering sorry softly.

It was actually very adoarble.

She realised that the more she spent time with you, the more she felt strong feelings for you. She was falling for you very hard and she knew it.

Would always come up with cute funny nicknames to call you. Always call you cute and adorable.

She's also very dramatic with you sometimes.

She always tries to find a way to make you laugh and she finds that being overly dramatic with you sometimes can get a tiny giggle from you. Even if you try to play if off as something else, it warms her heart.

She loves being affectionate with you, holding hands, hugging you from behind unexpectantly, all of the above really.

She LOVES playing with your hair and styling it, especially to match hers. She think it's cute to match, so if she's given the opportunity, of course she's gonna take it, no questions asked.

She has a very, very, very big soft spot for you. Ask something from her or a favour and she'll do it straight away.

Oh, and also expect gifts for another way of showing you her undying love to you.

She's much like Dorio, except if she sees you stare at it while together, she'll just walk in and get it.

She's not gonna pay for it of course, why pay if you can just get it for free when you're already in some kind of trouble with the law? (please never adopt this mindset.)

It's actually how her confession came to be. She stole some diamond jewellery that she thought would look very nice on you.

Then she decided then when she gave you it, the news was gonna hit right after so you couldn't possibly say no to her anyways.

When she gives you the gift, she insists you put it on. Once you do, she just stares in awe before commenting how hot you look with it and mentioning how she's literally heads over heals for you.

It takes a little while for what she said to hit but once it did, she took the opportunity to surprise you further and kisses you deeply.

The night continued into many lip locking experiences~

Falco

Offered to buy you drink, whether you accepted or not, your interest towards each other grew during some tipsy chatter. However he did most of the talking.

He'd comment on how he thought that your lack of communication sometimes was fairly relaxing.

Not because he could say anything or whatever but because he's surrounded by loudmouthed mercs sometimes. He's only human after all. A modified human.

Very sweet towards you. Always offers to give you a ride home after jobs or parties.

Always asks if he can accompany you.

He was very gentlemen like to you, opening doors for you and pulling out chairs if you two were going out to eat together or walking around.

He's another one who'll buy gifts for you.

The realisation of his feelings came a little slow, he tried to push it down for a little while but it got the best of him and determined him to court you.

When he had the time, he'd buy you bouquets of flowers even if you didn't really like them. You slowly started enjoy the bouquets though and putting them in vases. You ran out of vases? No worries, he'll deliver them to you in vases.

Invites you out to pubs and always buys you your drinks. No person such as you should be paying for drinks yourself.

He'll always be sure to treat you, it's hard to treat him back since he always denies it. Though, that's only if he's around you. If you get it in your own time, he'll have no choice but to accept. He's sure to always treasure anything you give him.

Late night drives happen a lot. It's gorgeous. Sometimes you'll go out to the Nomad lands and get on a high place just to watch NC from afar.

If you ask, I'm sure he'll drive faster than what'd be considered safe. Some drifts maybe.

Eventually, you start coming to him when you're stressed and need to blow off some steam. Driving with him becomes one of your most favourited activities.

Though the confession didn't take action during on of these late night drives. It was instead over dinner.

While sat and waiting for your dinner. He was a little hesitant but delivered the news of his feelings nonetheless.

After confirming that you reciprocated. He nudged your foot with his and placed his hand over yours before the food had arrived. The rest of the dinner was mainly him talking about the usual stuff that had happened in his day.

After leaving the restaurant. You both left to sit in his car and that's when the first kiss had happened, and it lasted quite a while.

When he drove you back, you invited him inside to which he accepted and the both of you enjoyed the rest of your night in each others company.

Sasha

Excited to meet you. Very.

Probably would've put you off a little but eventually it got very easy to warm up to her.

When you two were alone, she always tried to fill the silence with chatter but she quickly learnt that silence was very comforting, especially with you

She was very sweet to you and was always the first one to come up to you after any job just to ask if you were ok and were feeling fine. Sometimes would offer to call a Delamain cab for you if you weren't able to drive or didn't want to walk home.

She was kinda like Dorio but a little more ecstatic.

Sometimes when she'd hit you up to ask if you were doing anything, she'd ask you out to nightclubs to dance with her and just hang out.

During these occurrences, seeing you have a little bit of fun every now and then, she grew addicted to see even just a little bit of a smile on your face.

And she realised that she liked you lots.

After that, she'd almost always ask to hang out and just do random things together.

Would always try to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with you. She enjoyed your company plenty, even when you were quiet and not bothered to speak.

I should probably mention that before she was a little intimidated by you, and still is when you get super serious but she knows better now.

She comments how she kind of likes that look on you. The cold look of course.

The confession didn't take long to come as she was sure she really liked you.

During one of the midnight hangouts at one of the clubs in Night City. She mentioned how she really adored you and hopes that you and her could go further rather than being just friends.

You gently smiled and put you hand on hers before kissing her cheek.

She was a little shocked at it but very happy and asked if she could kiss you, and of course you accepted.

She was very happy to have come across you and go far with you in hopes of coming even further in the life of NC.

please do not repost my work anywhere. thank you.

[ilovetomdaya]

🚨This is going to be my spoiler Dune Part Two review. It's going to be long so please bare with me. I loved Dune Part two and I would definitely watch it again.🚨

So let's start off with Chani. She's a total bada** and Zendaya did an amazing job playing her. She really seems to understand Chani and who Chani is. Her performance of Chani really blew me away. Chani is obviously a very strong believer in Fremen. She doesn't believe in what the other Fremen do. I love that she makes that very clear and she never let's anyone change her mind. Then she falls in love with Paul. He makes her all of these promises and says all of these things about fighting for Fremen. Chani is definitely a strong independent woman who gets sh** done, fights for her people but also seems to love hard. She has conflict with herself because she loves Paul but disagrees with him on some things. Over all Zendaya knocked it out of the park with Chani. I feel so bad for Chani because she sacrificed so much for Paul and got other Fremen to believe in him and treat him like family only for him to stab her in the back. Asking Irulan to marry him right in front of her. Just mere minutes after telling Chani "i will love you as long as I breathe." I'm glad she walked away from him but my heart hurts for her. She deserves better. I wonder what she'll do next? I'm so proud of Zendaya. Timmy did a great job playing Paul. He really dug into the deep dark part of Paul and brought that out. Paul felt and seemed so much more darker this movie and was power hungry. He became a character that I don't like. I'm glad that Chani slapped him. He deserved it. His hunger for power definitely came out when he went to the South for sure. He had a little bit more of a softer side in the North side. He doesn't truly love Chani the way he's suppose to. He wants power and will do anything to get it. Even if it means hurting Chani and people that he supposedly loves. Over all Timmy did a great job playing Paul. Okay so let's talk about Paulchani. One of the problems I had with this movie is how fast paced Paul and Chanis relationship was. They go from just meeting to all of the sudden telling each other I love you and being in love. It makes no sense. I also personally think that Zendaya and Timmy don't have the best on screen chemistry with each other. They obviously have okay onscreen chemistry but it's not the best. I found myself struggling to connect to their relationship/ love story. Their relationship just didn't make me feel anything really. I honestly think that's due to how fast paced it is/ was though. Another issue with the movie that I had (like others did) is the pacing. It started out slow but then it got really fast and it seemed like they were trying to fit in a lot of material in a short amount of time. Austin absolutely blew me away with his acting. Couldn't even tell it was Austin. All I saw and heard was Feyd. He portrayed the physcotic person Feyd is/ was amazingly. There were times where Feyd genuinely had me scared. Like other people have stated the accent he did for Feyd was cringy but the acting was great. Rebecca straight up bodied the role of Lady Jessica. She was terrifying. She had me scared asf sometimes. Especially when she became a Reverend Mother. The fact that she betrayed her own kid... has me saying "damn." That woman is ruthless and a bada**. You couldn't tell it was Rebecca. All you could see was Lady Jessica. Javier did an amazing job too. I loved that you could see how strongly Stillgar believed in what he did. Zendaya, Rebecca, Austin, and Timmy were the stand outs for me though. I definitely want to watch the movie again. So glad I got to experience it in theaters.

[generalpierrotdameron]

Fans of the best-selling High Republic books and comics that kicked off the era will recognize Mirialan Jedi Vernestra Rwoh, played by actor Rebecca Henderson. The character makes her live-action debut about 100 years older than the teenage prodigy we first met in The High Republic. “I'm just so excited for people to see her in this show because she is so different,” Headland says. “She’s very rarely in the mission robes adventuring and dreaming. I think, as the show goes on, you'll understand why. She has seen so much and she is so in-tune and in love with the Force. Here she's much more of a high-ranking official. The other Jedi revere her. I'm just really excited for people to see her in this show and to see the performance.” (X)

We know that Vern is in The Acolyte, played by Rebecca Henderson. Will other characters from The High Republic books make an appearance?

HEADLAND: I'm gonna be straight with you. They do not. Part of that is because I wanted to save some people for Season 2. I really focused on Vern. Vern was a character that really jumped out at me immediately as someone that I wanted to see as an arc for where we were with the Jedi when we come into this story. A character that started out as a prodigy, someone powerfully connected to the Force, almost in love with the Force, but also sassy enough to make her lightsaber into a whip. Someone [with] that experimentation, that energy, and then to see who she is in our show, and see what happens over the course of becoming a more and more powerful Jedi, and going from mission after mission, to council meetings, and protocol, and “how do we keep this institution going, how do we check it, how do we negotiate the level of power that we have.” She's massively respected, and considered to be one of the most powerful Jedi at this particular time period. I hope the High Republic fans are excited by the white robes, because we really were intent on using them. Not only because that was a nod to the books, but also because I think it really thematically explains a lot. They're not getting into a bunch of skirmishes, you know? They're wearing all white, because not much is happening. Connecting those with the brown robes that you usually see Jedi in as the mission robe, the robes that would get dirty, those are fun things to pull. You're gonna see some stuff from the EU, you're gonna see some aliens from Clone Wars in there, references to the special editions. There's a lot of fun stuff in there that's not necessarily connected to The Mandalorian or The Skywalker Saga. (X)

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a reading week

11pm, tuesday, feb 20, 2024

hello beloveds. just wrote two increasingly passionate paragraphs about what social media and my use of it over the years has done to benefit my life, and got so genuinely moved that i had to come talk to you about it.

reading really wild mix of reading material of late. surprisingly high amount of YA, because people keep recommending me things and i keep going 'sure, let's try it!' so i'll use that as an organizing principle and save discussing some of the others for a future post. in order of completion:

firekeeper's daughter, angeline boulley, read by isabella lablanc. finished in a rush, very engaged in the last three-four hours. i was never prepared for the next thing this plot threw at me, though in retrospect saw how it all made sense. i didn't know a thing about it going in, which i think actually enriched the experience a lot, but for a novel set in michigan's UP and sugar island, it resonated with a lot of things i associate with ontario after living here for five+ years. the hockey, the ojibwe /anishinaabe names and cultural connections, the murdered and missing indigenous women. but it also mixes in elements reminiscent of, like, braiding sweetgrass (and tangentially mexican gothic) and various fan fiction tropes i recognized in their shape if not their execution. highly recommend the audiobook-- they cast the audiobook's narrator very carefully, and she does a superb job juggling the mix of scientific jargon, teen narrator unreliable/dramatic narrator (loving), and Anishinaabemowin.

castle in the clouds, kerstin gier, translated by romy fursland. maybe 33% through. it's giving grand budapest hotel and somehow also the princess diaries? it's also reminding me somehow of, like, the kind of novel i wanted to write as a second or third grader, which means eva ibbotson, and a particular flavor of plucky, intelligent heroine. i was hooked by the first page+ but have yet to see a ton more of the same high action and suspense, and have let this one slip a little further onto the back burner. it's cute escapism at the moment, though that may change.

fourth wing, by rebecca yarros, read by rebecca soler (and apparently also teddy hamilton, although i haven't gotten to him yet?) about 25% through. trying desperately to give us a gritty, hardcore, new and dangerous and fun take on dragons and their human riders, while also trying to be idk divergent? the hunger games? there's a love triangle, the protagonist has naturally ombre hair, the premise of the novel is brutal training where young adults are all dying in improbable droves due to how cutthroat and brutal it is. a testament to the narrator that i am, despite myself, having a great time. there are a few too many supporting characters who want our main girl straight up dead for me to really find the threats believable, but i'm intrigued by the prospect of alternate versions of this world's history than what she has learned and a potential for discovering how their kingdom has? manipulated them? could be asking too much.

fairest, gail carson levine. finished in a long saturday morning spent reading in bed. i was such an intense and dedicated fan of the original ella enchanted novel that i couldn't read most of levine's other books (exceptions for her short stories made grudgingly) because they weren't sequels and weren't the same and wouldn't be as good. in fairness, reading this now as a much-older-than-the-intended audience, perhaps i was too harsh-- but i think little-me was right to be a little suspicious. it's a snow white retelling, and again i think largely successful in building a more detailed plot in which the elements of the retold fairy tale are embedded, but where the focus in ella was on language and obedience and free will, here we're trying to articulate things about beauty and body image, and it's harder to say that it really succeeds? i like that we gave the Wicked Queen more nuance, positive and negative qualities, moments of sympathy, a name and a precarious political position. i was not nearly as charmed by the romance (fine, fine, it's not ella and char but it couldn't be, it's fine). i still love the use of unfamiliar / fairy-tale languages and how levine puts them on the page in such fun spellings. probably aimed at the youngest audience, of the four titles here, but treats its reader as almost more intelligent than fourth wing, possibly? YA from ~twenty years ago was a different world.

listening graded like twenty quizzes today with just a mess of random panic at the disco bumping in my headphones. it's a hell of a feeling, etc. i'm halfway through this particular round of grading, and they're doing so well, so it's mainly a quick check to make sure they got the basics right and i can jam while doing so.

watching spent a very pleasant ~2 hours yesterday watching as much as we could of the film amadeus with @hematiterings, @pep-squad-lizzie, and @dimir-charmer. love a film that isn't afraid to lean into all its sensory indulgences, and to be a little heavy-handed with its symbolism (the chocolate is about repression!) and to, just generally, spend money on costumes, locations, hiring lots of extras, and so many wigs. there's a live event performance of this film with orchestra + choir being advertised all over our subway right now, so it does very much feel like we're being followed by this guy:

...but what's sticking in my head right now is the costumes.

playing 41+ hours into hollow knight. i have opened half of my stag stations! i have the dream nail, surprisingly early i think! i have saved bretta! i have somehow missed the mantis lords, i think, but have made it to the city, the resting grounds, and have now been throwing myself fruitlessly against the crystal guardian and a soul warrior in alternation. i am...not good at combat. current plan is to grind to get quick focus, and i'm close! also, @spoonierbard stepped in and gave me a much needed morale boost by winning me the final mask shard necessary to get increased lives, which has helped tremendously, and the grubs rewarded me with the grub song charm which has helped tremendously.

making many potential projects, none executed (or even really attempted). soon, hopefully. fallow section for now. does music count? music counts, right? i joined a second choir! enticed by the chance to perform mozart's requiem in full with an orchestra, and finally fulfill the broken promise of 2020. that's my hobby right now. oh i also just cleaned out a ton of storage in my phone + icloud, which felt generative in its own way. besides backing things up better than i have in a while.

working on submitted the travel money application i've been thinking and dithering about since...this time last year? no real expectation of getting it, but it did actually help me consider some next steps in the diss, so that's nice. now prepping to take my class on two fun on-campus field trips next week, one to the manuscript library and one to the medieval collection in our little hidden art museum! i need to write some notes up for the TAs and docents to use, and finish organizing my list of desired manuscripts, like, yesterday. midterm grades posted today, a little late but hopefully not too bad, still well before the drop date. the aforementioned quizzes (i have like 28 more to grade, but they're reasonably painless). plus i was going to work on my fucking dissertation this week, and prep to teach the next few lectures in advance so i'm not scrambling monday nights, plus send a bunch of emails, design a CFP poster, put in some RAship hours so i can speak intelligently in my meeting tomorrow, and....prep for the guest lecture i'm giving on the 28th! it's a reskin of the conference paper i gave this summer, freshly edited, but i need to expand the intro bits to include a useful overview, since these students aren't a conference of celticists.

weirdly at peace with how my work-life balance is balancing right now, though. it's the extra sleep and the increased sunshine, and the little cat who is being so so whiny right now. i must conclude these lines and feed Herself.

[clueingf0rlooks]

I’m so upset. What was the point of the season 2 bantr fakeout? What was the point of the finale opening scene fakeout that was clearly trying to make us think they’d slept together? What was the point of September 13, 1991? What was the point of the green army man? What was the point of the countless Nora Ephron references? What was the point of Ted being desperate to spend time with her in Amsterdam and upset that she didn’t answer his texts?

Who even was Ted this episode? The Ted Lasso we’ve gotten to know over 3 seasons wouldn’t be so blasé watching his players sing a choreographed Sound of Music number for him. He wouldn’t be completely silent and emotionally checked out watching as Rebecca Welton begs him to stay and tells him that Richmond is his home and that Henry could go to school there. He wouldn’t watch her weep at the airport and again just say absolutely nothing.

Why did Jamie and Roy’s development end up going backwards and in the end it’s a misogynist love triangle that isn’t even resolved so Keeley gets no romantic endgame?

Rebecca spent this entire episode heartbroken at the thought of Ted leaving. She was willing to move to Kansas for him. But she ends up with a man who doesn’t even have a name and was introduced in one episode in the final season? If she wanted to be with him she would have gotten his name after their night in Amsterdam but she didn’t because she was satisfied with it being a fleeting connection.

Beard ends up with the woman who has been terrible and emotionally abusive to him for their entire relationship and even in this very episode shredded his passport?

We don’t even really know what happens to Ted. Either he’s back with Michelle after finally accepting their marriage was over or he lives alone in Kansas without any of his found family or his soulmate and he still only has custody of his kid twice a month and he coaches little league.

The only person who got a Nora Ephron worthy ending was Nate, which I’m happy about and I was always rooting for his redemption and I love NateJade, but I wanted better for my leads!

I’m upset that the show’s creator and lead actors called Ted and Rebecca soulmates, whether it be romantic or platonic, but they never even find out about their cosmic connections.

I’m upset that after knowing how many fans take Tedbecca seriously they decided to lace the entire final episode with a Tedbecca endgame setup with a morning-after fakeout, asking him to stay, Rebecca buying a first class ticket just for an airport scene that even Ted admits is straight out of a rom-com, just to rip it away in the last 5 minutes.

[leupagus]

Live Gus Reacts! After a nap

So this one isn't going to be long because my carpal tunnel is acting up, but I loved this episode. Yes, there were some after-school-special elements, but I think Chuck Hayward knocked it out of the park, especially considering this was his only screenplay for this show (of course, he's won Emmys for Wandavision and is about to run his own show so dude knows what he's about). It felt much more interwoven than last week's, and certainly flowed a lot better.

I'm hilarified that Edyta Budnik's Polish background was used for Jade's character, similar to how most of the Richmond players' actual backgrounds are used on the show (and why I had her reading a book in Polish in the WifeGuy fic I'm writing). I will say that Rupert, specifically, clocking that was an interesting moment because there is a very real (and ugly) history of prejudice against Polish immigrants in England; Rupert was not being charming there, by any means. The whole interaction with Rupert and Nate in this episode was really fascinating, because Rupert's clearly alarmed at the fact that Nate is getting outside support — he was so effective at cutting Nate completely off from everyone at Richmond, but here Nate is, building his own network here (Roger's invitation suggests to me that this isn't the first time Nate's been out with the West Ham staff/team after a game). And for Rupert, that's unacceptable — Nate's become as much a "possession" to him as Rebecca once was, so he's going to try his best to keep Nate isolated. Unfortunately for him, Nate is still The Great and is learning to balance his newfound pride with his enduring kindness. So however that shakes out will be fun to watch, I think. (All the fingers crossed that it ends with Rupert getting struck by lightning, because really how could you improve on mardia's masterpiece.)

One thing I hate about this storyline, though, is that Nick Mohammed is still having to field abuse from racist fans who think he hasn't "atoned" enough to be allowed happiness or character growth; I love seeing more of Nate, but not at the expense of Mohammed having to deal with this bullshit.

Re: the Colin storyline, I can't really say whether or not it was handled well or poorly, because my personal reaction to it has overwritten that kind of objective analysis. I've read a few reactions, which run the gamut, and I can see how those scenes may have left people disappointed/elated/angry/satisfied. For me, knowing that this episode was written by a Black man my age, from my mom's alma mater (and uhhhh glad to see they changed the mascot from when she went there) and that he and Dylan Marron were the two writers "in charge" of Colin's storyline does make me more inclined to see the choices — Ted's ridiculous Denver Broncos analogy, Isaac's lashing out and somewhat remedial "how does gay work" questions — as deliberate explorations of how straight men can and do react to finding out their friend is gay: not perfectly or even well, but borne out of love and respect and desire to protect. I was very grateful that the entire team immediately accepted Colin, because the last thing I wanted in that moment was "realism." Ditto with Colin's playing improving in the second half of the game, now that his two lives are (at least partially) connected; that's likely not what would happen IRL but I didn't care, even a little bit.

I'll admit I VERY much dig Rebecca as Tough Mom character this season; she's been doling out some extremely good advice to people, and it's delightful to me. Yes, she's a main character who's not getting enough to do, but like Ted I think the show still works when she's not in the spotlight, and when she gets to be the one offering support rather than needing it. And I adore her and Roy's weird-ass relationship, it's just incredible to get these glimpses into how they see each other.

Other than that: Sam giving Jamie the middle finger AND a beautiful smile was amazing, Jamie being pleased to be clocked as queer was interesting, the Higgins And Rebecca Buddies Fun Time is still great, and I want every one of Trent Crimm's t-shirts. And a clementine.

[glasswingowl]

EP 4 PREMIERE LETS GOO (SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT)

Uzi's wing backpack is really cute! hope it's not foreshadowing anything :)

YES KHAN BE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND TRUST YOUR DAUGHTER WITH HER OWN FUTURE! I KNOW I KEPT SHIT TALKING YOU BUT I ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT ONE DAY YOU WOULDN'T ROYALLY SCREW UP EVERYTHING

also was Nori the one initially obsessed with doors? and doll's dad. he was in the photo too, but then again, so was khan. Was he infected or not? if he has an id card, i didn't see it

does. does no one know who uzi is?? she literally exploded a gun in the middle of class that isn't something you'd easily forget. i mean i guess no one would really "know" her considering her complete and utter lack of friends up until now

N AND V AS CAMP COUNSELORS HAHAHAHA OH THIS IS GOING TO GO GREAT I CAN ALREADY TELL

all the other drones immediately fawning over N and V lmao.

ooh uzi's got a much better grasp of her powers now. someone's been practicing

LMAO THEY EXPLICITLY SAID "THERE WERE NO DOGS ON COPPER 9 WHEN EVERYTHING WENT TO SHIT ALSO DOGS ARE IMMORTAL NOW"

oh N and V playing nice with the workers is really cute (also lizzy gets to sit with V!)

(also was i not paying attention or did thad just straight up disappear halfway through the episode)

V's being weird and cryptic again... also girl you know you're bluffing stop pretending you can just get rid of Uzi without consequences.

is uzi... resentful? is she upset that two literal murderers are able to make friends easier than her? poor girl.

oh hey doll. we thought you were dead (and you might still be idk what your fucking deal is anymore)

the killing/not killing the bug symbolism carries over to this episode too.

this bug can communicate! and we know for sure that it's connected to the solvers now!

it called her 002. it thinks she's nori. Were the inital test subjects registered, but not their children? would doll scan as yeva's number? (can't remember it off the top of my head)

oh she just turned that arrow into flesh. oh dear god it's alive. i never thought i say this, but i'm with uzi's classmates on this one what the fuck was that

"i live in the woods now!" ah yes that'll solve everything great job

oh uzi :( so this is why doll had such a large supply of oil on hand. good thing she had the stomach to drink it

(ok yeah thad's not with the group anymore where did he fuck off to)

YES N STAND UP TO V. DEMAND ANSWERS.

"she's a kid, like us V!" ... ok how old are they actually i want to know. "like us" implies similar age range at least and they kind of hinted at Uzi being 18-20 with the prom posters but i wish they'd just TELL us in canon or word of god it on twitter or something

LIZZY-

I thought rebecca's bf was Brad? did they break up? quick rebound time damn

oh doesn't matter they're gonna fucking die

JCjenson made a tape about "zombie drones". what did they know.

Flashback images: Tessa (looking VERY drone like), a severed hand hanging from a chandelier, and an explosion (that looks VERY solver-esque.)

oh shit's going downhill very quickly.

OH DEAR GOD. REBECCA. sorry Rebecca enjoyers that's an L for you guys.

OH. OH NO UZI. SHE'S GOT MURDER DRONE POWERS AND SOLVER POWERS YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED.

"Killing her, not saving you." it can be both V it's ok

did. did V just call her CYN? DID V JUST CALL HER CYN????

V GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF

oh her tail's got teeth. no nanites though...

ngl N's pretty much the best person who could've possibly shown up at that moment

her wing joints are human arm skeletons. nope. don't like that.

ohh N is just the sweetest. very emotionally aware too

V what are you smiling at. V is there something you want to tell us

i know we were all joking about V x Lizzy but i'm not sure it's a joke anymore

i'm not going to ask how riding the bus like a stagecoach works

V taking blame for the murders? aww you do care <3

is n scared of his connection to uzi? worried that he might be dangerous to her? or is he secretly scared of her but not willing to leave his first real friend?

( i know i've mentioned this three times now but thad's not on the bus. where did he go. did he just decide fuck this i'm not dying here and walk home?)

[shuttershocky]

Man though, the way David's mind breaks towards the end. The way he hallucinates and goes crazy but he keeps on going because if he can save Lucy.. if he can save her then it means everything he has done from his mother's death MEANS something. And the way Falco and Rebecca go along with him even though they know he won't make it... Edgerunners is great.

It's about LOVE (and how capitalist hellholes consume and destroy what makes us human)

Spoilers for Edgerunners below

No really. What makes Cyberpsychosis so interesting an idea is that it's not actually a deal where "you put on too many robot parts and you'll go insane and violent because you're no longer human". Mike Pondsmith, the creator of the original Cyberpunk tabletop, explains it like so

"You have to have an inherent susceptibility, which (in the TRPG) is represented by the player's Humanity Stat. Humanity is not just a measure of one aspect of personality, but an overall measure of several elements including the subject's ability to emphasize and relate with others, their ability to absorb and rebound from mental and physical stressors, their ability to show compassion and flexibility to others, and whether they are able to balance their worldview through other methods."

What makes you human in Cyberpunk isn't your organic flesh, it's your ability to show empathy, understanding, and compassion for other people. The people who can emotionally connect with others can put up a stronger resistance to going mad from cyberware.

This is important to understand what the original Cyberpunk setting criticizes, because cyberpsychosis doesn't mean that the only people who go mad are the mentally ill, EVERYONE (barring exceptions) eventually goes mad with enough cyberware, even the most level-headed and compassionate people. We are told that living in a capitalist hellhole forces one through a gauntlet of physical and emotional stress every single day. Night City's megacorporate nightmare has made it impossible for anyone to truly be of sound mind.

____

David says that he's built different. He's one in a million. Even the Ripperdoc claims his affinity for cyberware is crazy and calls him Adam Smasher 2.0. but the toughness that David attributed to his physical strength was actually because of how he loved and was loved harder than anyone around him. to the point where it killed him as a person. He was someone with no dreams or ambitions for himself, only a tool to achieve the dreams of the people he loved before Night City killed them.

His Mom worked 24/7 to send him to a good school and even if he hated school and was bullied, he had straight As and set his sights on fulfilling his mom's dream of becoming a big corporate executive at Arasaka so they would no longer be poor. When his mom was killed in gang violence and he fell into a gang himself, he quickly came to see Maine as a father figure and made his new goal to ensure the success of Maine's crew. He even promises Lucy that he'll make her dream come true and take her to the Moon, even if she originally only told him that to trick him and hand him off to Maine to be killed for his cyberware.

It's what makes his descent into cyberpsychosis so dramatic. He's got maybe one of the highest Humanity stats on any character in the Cyberpunk setting and he still goes cyberpsycho because living in Night City means living a life full of unending violence and stress where you constantly need to be upgrading lest a random guy just blows your head off for no reason. The city keeps ripping his loved ones apart limb from limb and because he's David Martinez he assumes complete responsibility for not protecting them and vows to make their dream come true and while taking care of whoever's left until he's jacking drugs into his body every five minutes and putting on more and more cyberware just to keep up.

And even then, even after using his last immunoblocker and flying right over the edge of sanity where there's no coming back, he still wakes up to hold back Adam Smasher and help Lucy and Falco escape, because he still has to make sure Lucy gets to go to the Moon.

David dies defiant and in control of his mind out of love for his gang, just like how Maine did when he saw a frightened but determined David try to back him up against certain death.

It's about how love is what makes us human, and what a horrific nightmare a society must be where loving like that can be what dooms you.