#and there’s always the possibility of my parents giving me money for the con hotel

[boneless-mika]

I need new headphones and new shoes lol

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! A new month - so new fics for you to find and enjoy! I can’t say it enough: all the authors in this fandom are truly amazing! Thank you so much for continuously sharing your hard work with us ♥ Here are the 14 fics I read and enjoyed this month:

A Hungry Heart | jacaranda_bloom | Great British Bake Off AU - famous/not famous - cliches - pining - angst - smut - 27k Harry Styles, florist and Great British Bake Off contestant, loves many things. He loves his flower shop, he loves baking, and there’s also that little crush he has on pop star Louis Tomlinson. But when Louis arrives on set as the surprise guest judge, Harry’s worlds collide. Throw in a cup of cuteness, a teaspoon of teasing, and a pinch of pining, and there’s all the ingredients for an epic love story, or absolute chaos. Or the one where the Bake Off tent has never been so hot, and it’s got nothing to do with what’s in the ovens.

Teenage Rebellion Never Worked Out So Well | panda_bear21 | arranged marriage - friends to lovers - 55k “I’m an adult!” He glanced down at Harry, who seemed anything but at the moment, where he was definitely on the brink of a temper tantrum. “We’re both adults!” Jay glanced to Anne again, before breathing out a heavy sigh. “Yes, but you’re both adults that do not have jobs and who live off of our money… Which means, you have to do what we say… or you’ll have to find a new place to live.” “You wouldn’t do that.” Louis dared, hoping his glare was enough to guilt trip his mother into calling the whole thing off. Or to tell them that it had all just been a huge joke and they weren’t actually being forced into marrying a complete stranger. “Oh, but we would.” Or the super cliché arranged marriage fic where things escalate way too quickly.

Heartbreak Hotel | noellehenry | time travel - 1950s - historical - pining - 29k British popstar Harry Styles is thrown back in time after an unfortunate accident on stage. He wakes up in a small town in the US in the 1950's, where life is slightly different from 2015. With help from Niall and Liam he tries to adjust to his new life; without mobile phones and a world wide web to keep up with the world and where showing interest in nice cute boys with bright blue eyes is a no-no. Time travel and 1950's AU where Liam is an English teacher, Niall owns the Best Song Ever record shop, James runs Corden's Diner, Elvis fan Louis is the cute boy with the blue eyes and Harry..... just tries to survive really.

Playdate | Larry_you_know | getting together - misunderstandings - kid fic - fluff - 7k When Harry’s sister asked him to pick up her son at a kids' birthday party he sure didn’t expect to be stunned by the blue-eyed brother of the birthday twins. Using his nephew to see Louis again, he falls hard and fast. But how does one turn a playdate into a real date?

tread lightly on my ground | fairytalelights | a/b/o - mpreg - touch-starved - miscommunication - friends to lovers - touch deprivation - smut - 21k No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back. or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Not Ready for This | berzerkshires | kid fic - single parents - smut - 18k Prompt for HLSummerFest2021: Louis and Harry are both single fathers and their children decide to go out on a date. The dads insist on meeting one another before they agree to let their child go out on this date.

Secret's Safe With Me | alltheselights | boss/employee relationship - secret relationship - toxic relationship (not h/l) - slow burn - smut - 59k But here’s the thing about secrets that people tend to forget—they’re deeply personal things. Tiny pieces of information about someone that they keep locked inside and only let out at certain moments, or to certain people, or not at all. Secrets have value, you see, even if only to the person holding them inside. If those secrets were to be told, if those tiny jagged pieces of someone, the parts they hold most dear, the parts they hide out of shame or fear or regret—if those pieces were exposed to someone, it would have the potential to change everything. When bad turbulence and three glasses of wine have Louis spilling all of his secrets to the man sitting next to him on the plane, it's embarrassing, sure, but it's also easy enough to shrug off and block out of his memory forever. Or at least, it was until Louis went into work on Monday morning and realized that the man from the plane is the new CEO of his company.

Marks On My Baby | thinlines | a/b/o - college/university - friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - smut - 32k “What’s that?” Harry hadn’t meant for his voice to sound so sharp and even he winced at his own outburst. It was more of a hiss than an actual question, but for now, he was too surprised to care. “What’s what?” The omega asked, eyebrows raised and lips pinched. Harry knew he was probably mad at him for interrupting his rant, but the alpha was too on edge to bother pleasing the boy. “On your neck… Your bondmark spot…” His voice had grown low and deep, almost a growl. Who knew a single love bite on his omega friend's neck would trigger Harry this much? Certainly not the alpha himself.

Rogue | Laventriloque | a/b/o - werewolves - minor character death - hurt/comfort - past abuse - past rape/non-con - soulmates - smut - 95k “No, Liam! How many times do I have to… before you finally… NO WAY … a rogue in our pack?… cannot trust him … don’t care to know him … have enough members to worry about.” He hears more indistinct shouts before he hears pretty clearly: “His own pack didn’t want him!” Sitting here, his precious bag between his feet and everyone in the room looking at him, some with pity, some with disdain, some with curiosity, Louis feels like someone squeezed his heart in their hands and isn’t letting it go. He wills his head to stay up high and his posture to stay confident. He will not flee the room. He will not let that stupid lump in his throat get the better of him. He will stay here until Liam returns. He will take the rejection in stride and move on. Like he’s been doing all his life." -- Louis is a rogue Omega who's suffered through rejection and abuse for the biggest part of his life. He stumbles onto the Styles pack, quite possibly the kindest one he's ever met.

indian summer | docklands | strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - banter - smut - 30k Harry runs a smoothie shop, which also happens to be an ever-moving caravan. He spends one week in each location and drives straight to the next, always eager for adventure. It isn't until his van breaks down and he needs to call for a mechanic that he starts to ponder his life choices. Louis, the said mechanic, is an anchor in Harry's wild sea, but his hard metal might be too much for Harry's unpredictable antics.

A Silver Lining In A Storm (You Were Lightning, I Was Born) | FallingLikeThis | arranged marriage - royalty - a/b/o - mpreg - minor character death - murder - non-graphic violence - angst - hurt/comfort - 7k Omega Prince Harry had always known that he was going to have an arranged marriage. But after the death of his first fiancé, a man who turned out far worse than Harry thought possible, his subsequent marriage to the man's brother leaves Harry finding it difficult to trust that everything will work out. Especially considering the only responsibility he’s aware of is to give his husband, the future king, an heir.

A Twist of Fate | myfearlesslou | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - soulmates - angst - 35k Since the moment Harry presented as an omega, all he's ever wanted was to have a baby. Fate had another idea in mind for him. Giving up on trying to conceive, he decides to adopt a new born baby boy. After months of loving and caring for the boy, a strange man comes into his life, taking him by surprise. Not wanting to lose the child he's loved from the moment he laid eyes on him, Harry does whatever he can to keep the boy safe and in his arms. Even if that means following the handsome stranger to a part of the woods he's never seen before.

Trust Me Tonight | 28sunflowers | historical - royalty - regency - arranged marriage - first time - mpreg - pwp - 10k After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week. Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband. There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

i got a heart (but i don't got a soul) | tempolarriefics | mythical beings �� creatures - enemies to lovers - childhood friends - famous/not famous - soulmates - angel/demon relationship - demon/human relationship - 19k “We’re soulmates.” Louis’ eyes flick from the tattoo back to Harry’s face, where his eyes are shining with excitement. Louis wonders if he is supposed to feel excited, too. He’s supposed to feel something, surely, besides his usual bitterness for Harry. He thinks back to how Lottie had described meeting Sam, how she had known in her heart that he was meant for her even before he said his phrase. He can’t help but wonder if he would be feeling differently if he hadn’t gone and sold his soul. Or, the one where louis sells his soul before meeting his soulmate, harry is a popstar with a heart of gold, niall is inadvertently responsible for harry's boners, liam is a meddling angel, and zayn is a demon who made a mistake

[delicioussshame]

PSA : this fic contains many bad takes which I do not endorse, but then again, I’m writing dub-con sugar daddy fic, what were you expecting?

Shen Yuan slowly lifts himself from his undisturbed sleep, unsurprised to once again find Luo Binghe gone. It is very late, after all. If he had actual obligations right now, he couldn’t afford to be this lazy, but since his student made it obvious that he wanted Shen Yuan to do as little as possible, who was he to argue? He can luxuriate in bed all day if he wants to.

It’s not like it’s going to last, anyway.

He tries to smother the part of him that keeps reminding him that he chose to cut himself off from his family’s wealth. That if he wanted to stop working and return to comfortable, uninterrupted stability, all he had to do was call. He’s certain his parents would take him back happily.

They’d never let him forget it, of course.

Then again, how his siblings would laugh at his current situation. All that bravado, all those principles, and he’s the one who ends up living off a rich man’s money? What had even been the point of choosing a meritless career they all had tried to keep him away from if he wasn’t going to maintain the moral high ground?

Shen Yuan had fallen off the moral high ground years ago, when he realised he could do nothing to help those who didn’t want to help themselves. No matter how he insisted, how he offered after-hours help and tried to make his lessons engaging, only Luo Binghe had ever taken him on it, and look where that took his student; to inherited wealth, and an unhealthy fixation with an old high school teacher Shen Yuan cannot help but feel guilty for. He must have done something wrong, must have been too familiar, must have encouraged Luo Binghe’s worst tendencies in a way he couldn’t detect. Why else would he pay an old man for company?

Daddy issues is his first thought. Raised without a father, currently living off his progenitor’s riches? He must have latched onto the only male figure in his life to deal.

It might explain why Luo Binghe hasn’t touched him yet. Why else would he abstain? He had made his intentions very clear, and Shen Yuan had been too exhausted with it all not to take him on it. It’s not like he’d ever wanted this, or wanted men, before, but if someone had to sleep with a man… Luo Binghe was probably as good as it gets. And, despite the guilt, Shen Yuan has always liked this little, timid, eager to please little student of his. He had brightened Shen Yuan’s endless days at a job he hated with his honest desire to learn and his bottomless enthusiasm, with his cheery smiles and his delicious confections. Shen Yuan had missed him dearly when he’s graduated, but had believed he’d done his job well. He’d provided Luo Binghe with all the tools he could to succeed in life.

And how he’d succeeded.

So he doesn’t mind spending some time with him, even if he’s very unsure about going further. Luo Binghe wouldn’t hurt him. He knows this. It’s the waiting that’s keeping him on edge. He just wants to know where he stands. If Luo Binghe admitted this was just a very weird way of having his teacher to himself for a few days, Shen Yuan would forgive him on the spot and happily spoil his favorite pupil however he pleased. He’d deserve it. No matter how much Shen Yuan had tried to blind himself to how utterly suffocating the lifestyle he’d chosen had been for him, leaving it all behind, even for only four days, made it all too obvious. He relishes waking up as late as he wishes, stumbling around in his pajamas until he reaches the kitchen and whatever delicious delicacy Luo Binghe had left for breakfast, before sitting down and catching up on all the terrible novels he hadn’t read in years, wondering if he dares to use the card Luo Binghe left to unlock all the extras. Even Luo Binghe’s arrival is nice. Shen Yuan has been living alone for years. Conversation with someone he enjoys the company of is no hardship. Home-cooked meals are a delight. Luo Binghe even manages to keep his home as tidy as a hotel room despite his workload, while Shen Yuan winces at what his shitty apartment must look like.

It’s all very nice, but it would be so much nicer without the uncertainty.

So Shen Yuan is going to do something very dumb.

______________

Coming home to Shen Yuan feels so normal it’s like he’s always been there, waiting for Luo Binghe’s return.

He’s not gone enough to expect a greeting kiss at the door, no matter how appreciated it would be, but now that Shen-laoshi is right here, he can’t help but let his hopes rise a little each time. He already has to leave Shen-laoshi sleeping in his bed in the morning since he needs his rest, a welcome wouldn’t be so much to ask for, would it?

He only gets silence when he enters, so Luo Binghe sighs and goes looking for Shen-laoshi.

Once he finds him, he’s instantly torn by opposing impulses.

It’s summer. Shen-laoshi isn’t working. If he wants to wear shorts, he’s allowed.

But really, do they have to be so short? Did he have to lie on his belly as he read, long legs carelessly hanging over the edge of the couch as if daring Luo Binghe to reach for them, to travel up and up until he reaches the scandalous edge of his clothing? Worse, Shen-laoshi is using Luo Binghe’s headphones, so he hasn’t heard him coming. He has no idea Luo Binghe is standing right behind him, dangerously close to giving up on all his good will and just take what Shen Yuan is so lewdly presenting.

His ankle is so delicate. Luo Binghe bets if he were to bruise it with his mouth, the mark would last for days.

Luo Binghe bites his tongue. No matter how inviting the picture is, at the end of the day, it is a mirage. Shen-laoshi wouldn’t thank him for ravaging him, no matter how provocative he was being.

Still, this isn’t fair to him. Let’s make sure something like this doesn’t happen again, or at least, not until Luo Binghe is in a position to make his appreciation known.

Instead of signaling his presence via a hand trailing up his exposed thigh, Luo Binghe pats his shoulder. “Laoshi.”

Shen Yuan jumps, startled. “Binghe!” He takes the headphones off. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

His embarrassed flush is so lovely.

No. “Laoshi doesn’t have to apologise for that, but I would appreciate he be more… mindful next time.”

“I’ll set the volume lower, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I was talking about.”

“Oh?”

As fair as Luo Binghe is concerned, Shen Yuan brought this on himself. “I’ve tried to let Shen-laoshi rest in peace, and to give him some time to get used to the idea, but if he lounges around in my own home looking like this, he has to know he’s making it very difficult for me to give him space.”

Shen Yuan turns bright red in response, which is not helping Luo Binghe’s shaky self-control. “Oh. So Binghe really… I see.”

Luo Binghe closes his eyes in dismay. Were a few days of carefully platonic attention all it took for Shen Yuan to convince himself that Luo Binghe didn’t desire him? His teacher really is a master of willful blindness. He probably didn’t even realise how vulnerable he looks, having rolled over to meet Luo Binghe’s eyes, the length of him all spread out like a feast, his cheap shirt having risen just a bit, exposing a tiny strip of pure white skin that’s begging for his touch.

Since he needs the reminder, Luo Binghe is going to give him one.

Decided, Luo Binghe starts to lower over Shen-laoshi.

“Binghe? Wha-“

This isn’t how he imagined their first kiss would go, but it doesn’t matter. In this case, imagination could never rival the reality of Shen Yuan’s lips under his, a bit dry, or the hot warmth of his mouth once Luo Binghe has used Shen Yuan’s stupefaction against him to force his way inside.

Before he knows it, he’s straddling Shen Yuan in his haste to discover more of him, pressing him down the couch and cradling his head still.

Shen Yuan’s arms come to life, pulling at Luo Binghe’s shirt in a way Luo Binghe cannot discern. Is he trying to get him closer, or to push him away?

The doubt is unsettling. With much hardship, Luo Binghe frees Shen Yuan from his hold, his heart beating harder than it ever did, desperately trying to ignore how affected he is.

Shock is all he notices on Shen Yuan’s face.

The sight is sobering. “Is Laoshi all right?”

Shen Yuan shakes his head wildly. “I’m… fine. Just fine.”

“That’s good.” Despite his whole body fighting it, Luo Binghe lifts himself up and away from Shen Yuan. “Laoshi understands now what a temptation he is to me?”

Luo Binghe can almost see Shen Yuan biting back the rebukes at the idea that he could be a temptation to anyone. Shen-laoshi’s self-perception has been eroded by his lifestyle. Luo Binghe is going to have to be the one to teach him better, this time. “I understand.”

That’s too bad. Luo Binghe wouldn’t have minded demonstrating some more. “Of course, if the feeling is reciprocated, Shen-laoshi only has to say so.”

“That’s not the point, is it? Doesn’t Binghe pay for my consent? If he wants… this, then why doesn’t he take it?”

Luo Binghe flinches. Said like it, it sounds bad. Luo Binghe only wanted to offer Shen Yuan the easy life he deserves! “I would never force Shen-laoshi! If he finds the prospect unpleasant, then it won’t happen. That’s all. He can remain here as long as he wants, and nothing untoward will take place if he doesn’t agree to it. I just ask that he be aware of his devoted student as he does so.” Shen Yuan is here, in his home, now. The first hurdle has been crossed. Now, the point is to keep him here. Sex can wait.

“Okay. I believe you. Binghe has always been a good person, after all.” He rises for the couch, trying his best to straighten his clothes. “I think I’ll change then, and we can eat after?”

Luo Binghe welcomes the deflection with open arms. “Yes! I’ll prepare something delicious!”

Not that it will compare to the taste of Shen-laoshi’s mouth.

[ddaenqu]

Tidal Wave

pairings: OT7 x fem!Reader

themes: Sugar Daddy AU, Yandere AU, Angst, slight Fluff, Mature

tags: Obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, overprotective behavior, unhealthy behavior/relationship, toxic behavior/relationship, polyamory/polyamorous relationship, manipulation, humiliation, slight non-con/dub-con (! if anyone pressures anything onto you, then please, do what’s best and leave them), mentions/implications of rape, pressuring, sexual implications, cursing

request: Yandere bts reaction to you wearing a bikini at the beach with 2. “Why do you let others stare at you like that? Do you like the attention? Then, I guess you wouldn’t mind if I did this.”

a/n: i know anon you requested for a reaction, but i couldn’t stop myself because i loved this au idea a bit too much, and i thought it would turn out cute, but it just turned out like this. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING.

The tight hold on your hand only intensified the moment you stepped onto the beach, the soft caresses still present—if you disregarded the bruising prints pushing into your skin.

“Baby, we can always go back—you know,” Jimin mumbled under his breath to only where only you could hear, “let’s just go back, we can come back later.” He looks at you warmly with a hum, a small smile.

You smile back at him—as warmly as possible.

“Jimin—you and the boys didn’t have to come, you guys can go back if you want to,” you explain, squeezing his hand, “I’m not forcing you to come with me.”

It was more of them forcing you to let them come with, and not just to the beach—to everywhere you went lately.

You say you don’t mind the obsessive attention or affection, the constant bickering to be by your side, or the sudden dislike to anyone that wasn’t them, only because you’re being paid to do this—to be with them.

The relationship was just as simple as anything else you had in life: you saturate their sexual frustrations, as their work and schedules don’t allow them to (at least, that’s what they told you), and you get paid enough to live comfortably and lavishly.

It was a chance of a lifetime.

Of course, you were overwhelmingly uncomfortable and doubtful with the proposition at first, especially coming out of the mouth of Jeon Jungkook, notorious for being practically useless with anything that wasn’t his dick. But university tuition and fees were definitely not going to pay themselves—not with the paychecks from your previous job—and fucking them didn’t seem so bad.

However, as time progressed, plain one-night stands and booty calls turned into dates and dinner nights, even sexting turned into platonic conversations.

You were only supposed to be their call-girl, and yet you’re standing on a beach in Hawaii, wearing clothes that—individually—costed more than your car.

It’s been so long since you’ve been alone, relationship-wise and physically.

They’ve been by your side since you’ve arrived.

Forcing you into a private jet before you could argue that you’re capable enough to buy your own plane ticket, or a vacation house when having a hotel room would’ve sufficed, and they went as far as trailing behind you when you tried to go out by yourself.

You thought today you were finally going to be able to roam around without them, explicitly explaining that you needed your own personal space—and they had agreed—before they found out you were leaving the house. Nearly having an argument when they found out you were going to the beach.

Following them to a perfect spot where they could set up had proved to be difficult. Already annoyed with the fact they were crowding around you as if they owned you, trying to leave their hands on any part of you that seemed available.

Jungkook had even wrapped himself around you and nosed himself into your neck, kissing up to the nape of your neck in front of children. You were dangerously close to scolding him, but, luckily, you had enough sense to not get into an argument with him in public.

You were being paid to fuck them. Not to be their girlfriend.

You helped set up—tried to. Hoseok and Jin practically snapped at you to sit down and let them handle it, Namjoon and Yoongi gently assured you that you didn’t need to do it, and the younger three, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin, were asking for a beating by picking you up and swinging you around multiple times.

“Yoongi, you’re not going to swim?” you asked, sitting beside him under the umbrella, the rest peeling off their shirts or getting a drink from the cooler.

“Do you want me to?” he replied, looking at you with curious eyes, a slight tint of red at the tips of his ears.

You let out a small chuckle. “Usually when you come to a beach you’re planning to swim, besides it is boring to just sit and watch.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, staring at you too intensely for your liking that you instinctively turn away, embarrassed. “Are you going swimming?”

“Of course she is,” Jungkook answers for Yoongi, his hair already dripping with saltwater. “Right, Noona?”

“Yeah,” you reply with a sour taste in your mouth, not because of the events from this morning, but because of the fact you didn’t follow one of their instructions (I mean, they weren't your parents, you had the right to make your own choices. Didn't you?). Your hands unconsciously reaching to grip the fabric of your shirt gently.

You hear Namjoon talking on the phone, Taehyung taking pictures of the beach, Hoseok, and Jin already in the water while a presence stands behind you.

Firm hands drag you up and against the cold and wet lap of Jimin, his chest drenching the back of your shirt as he pushes himself against you, a moist breath hitting your ear.

“Come swim with me,” you hear Jimin mumble into your shoulder, pulling at the shirt's collar to give him more access to your skin.

He’s about to pepper kisses along your shoulder, you know he is, you could feel his lips ghosting over your shoulder, soft breaths hitting lightly, fingers traveling down to your inner thigh, making you shudder.

It’s almost peaceful and serene, the nice atmosphere making you feel better and wanting to swim a lot more—until you feel fingers pull at the strap of your bikini top, snapping it against your skin.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Jimin seethes, rage burning at his fingertips, forcing bruises into your skin as he marvels at the thin piece of fabric holding your bikini up. “This isn’t what you were given to wear, sweetheart.”

The use of harsh language coming from Jimin’s mouth makes you flush in shame and slight anger, dark and light reds reaching your face. He’s speaking too loud, and you know that he is when Yoongi and Jungkook stop bickering, and Namjoon’s phone call abruptly stopping.

“Are you wearing a bikini?” you hear Jungkook question in a low voice, vibrating against your stomach. “What happened to the one-piece?”

You try to pull out a soft laugh, but all that comes out is a shaking huff of air. “Come on, guys. Can’t I choose what to—”

“Are you fucking serious?” you hear the deep voice from Namjoon speak up, and it almost makes you want to cry.

Eyes pricking with glossy tears. Namjoon rarely cursed, and when he did, it had to do with work or having an argument with the other six.

“I only wanted to wear my own clothes,” you reply with a quivering voice, trying to avoid the cold gazes that intensify from your comment.

You can feel the disappointment tearing into you.

What was so bad with a bikini? Didn’t they want the sex appeal? Besides, it was clothing you bought anyway, with your own money, it couldn’t hurt to wear them.

A heavy sigh comes out of Namjoon’s voice, filled with shame and annoyance. “Baby, that bikini—that isn’t clothes—you’re practically wearing nothing—you’re asking for it.”

A spite-filled reply was itching to come out of your mouth, however, you see Taehyung, Jin, and Hoseok come up from the water, both completely drenched and smelling like seawater.

“What’s going on?” Jin asks with a confused expression, looking between everyone who seemed to be crowding around you.

The air thick with tension that it’s making you sick. Your throat is burning with soft sobs you try to repress, and tears you hope will dry before they fall, your stomach squeezing with nausea.

You should have stayed in your room today.

“Princess here thought she could go against us,” Namjoon explains.

The three looked at you quizzically, but somehow, still, without knowing the full situation, they manage to look at you in disappointment. Their mouths twisting into frowns as they lightly dry their hair off with the towels.

“She’s wearing a bikini,” Yoongi scoffs.

“Well, I’m allowed to wear what I want,” you scoff back.

It comes out faster than you could stop it, the rage-filled tone still playing in your head.

Immediately wanting to take it back as the space around you feels all too hot for it to just be the sun, the bodies around you surrounding you. Anger burning at their skin, you can see fists clenching tightly around the poor bottled water or wet towels.

“What did you say, baby?” Jimin inquires, slowly, enunciating each syllable as if you couldn’t understand.

You’ve forgotten that he’s right behind you, feeling his body flexing under your weight, his chest heaving in harsh and quick breaths, the tense grip on your waist only tightening as his hand slides down the waist band of your shorts. Panic ensues throughout your body.

“If we let you out of the house wearing shit like that, you know what would happen?”

You shake your head automatically, too busy worrying if anyone was looking at you, to figure out who was talking. Their voice was booming in your ears, it was only a matter of time before they caught an audience on the beach. Your ears and face burning with shame and guilt. Wanting nothing but to cry helplessly.

“You’d look like a whore,” the vulgar voice spits out. “And we didn’t ask to be with a whore, Y/N.”

Tears are collecting in your lashes and Jimin’s hand. How could they do this in public?

Maybe it was your fault. Maybe if you had listened, maybe this would have never happened.

“Is that what you want, baby?” A voice, you recognize is Taehyungs, soft yet bitter around the edges. “You want to be ogled by strangers? Passed around?”

You shake your head once more, letting out a weak “no”, coming out gurgled as Jimin decides to prod more around your mouth, further in your mouth.

“You say that, but you wore that awful thing anyway,” someone else pipes up, “why would you let others stare at you like that? Do you like the attention?”

“If you wanted attention so much, sweetheart, then we could take you right here,” Jimin’s ragged breathing hits the base of your neck, leaving you breathless, hearing fizzing to only the seven around you as the background noises pick up sharply, your heart hounding against you.

“I guess you wouldn’t mind if we did this then.”

You hear a wave crash against rocks, feeling water that wasn’t there spray against your skin, and for some reason, it causes a gasping sob to leave your mouth. The heated hand stopping from moving anymore around your shaking body, your skin feeling scorched under their touch.

“I won’t wear it again, I won’t,” you gasp out, your voice stressing to stop the gross weeping bubbling at your throat. “Just stop, please.”

Everything ceases to a stillness, the loud and childish laughter from kids subside to echoes while the water becomes a plain, the wind turning to soft whispering. It’s not peaceful or serene, but it was just how it was moments ago. The boys going back to doing what they were doing, talking over each other and to each other about useless things, and yet you can still feel eyes tearing holes into you.

“Good,” Hoseok praises, “pull something like this again, princess, and we won’t be so kind.”

[babycapell]

new york’s very own baby capell was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to courtney eaton ! you may know them as @capellbabyy or hitting the front page of tmz as natasha fox, suspected con-artist infamously identified as baby, unanimously declared innocent on charges faced in california . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being heartless , but also ambitious . things that would paint a better picture of you would be a cluster of designer shopping bags, tan limbs tangled in silk sheets, a heart shaped sucker dangling between glossed lips. ( cisfemale + she/her  ) +  (  saxon , twenty-six , she/her , cst )

Out Of Character

Guess who’s back again? Honestly I don't know how this is going to go because this is a very new character and quite different from anything I’ve played but I’m incredibly excited to bring her to life! As always, we stay very open to connection ideas and plotting so please do not hesitate to hit me up because me and my child are here for the chaos and drama! <3

Basic Information

Full Name: Natasha Wren Campbell-Fox. Baby Capell.

Nickname(s): Nat. Baby.

Birthday: January 6th.

Orientation: Pansexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, French, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish.

Background

TW: cancer.

At just eighteen years old, Lucia Campbell left New Zealand and moved to England in hopes of pursuing a career in ballet only to unexpectedly end up pregnant just months later, putting a pause on both her dreams and her future. 

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her at the time of conception, the child’s father was a married member of the British Royal family - albeit fifteenth in line for the throne, the fact that he had stepped out on his wife and had a bastard child was scandal that could not be afforded.

Although the man tried repeatedly to coerce Lucia into getting an abortion, assuring it was what was best for both of them, Natasha Wren Campbell arrived in the world Jaunary sixth, nineteen-ninety six. 

In order to keep the situation under wraps, her father stopped by once a month to ‘check in’. For Natasha and her mother, these events felt less like visits with family and more like important interviews where their every move was under harsh scrutiny, the check he gave them at the end of his visit enough to make sure they were able to get by, money that assured that his secrets were kept safe. 

Every memory Natasha held of the woman who raised her was a beautiful one, a woman she considered so good and ethereal that it almost made sense that she didn’t get to stay in their world for too long.

When Natasha was just fourteen, her mother began experiencing fatigue and pain too serious to brush off, diagnosed within a week with stage four pancreatic cancer, the illness seemed to arise out of nowhere and progressed rapidly, leaving her unable to work and therefore unable to provide for them. 

Natasha waited desperately for her father’s next visit, asking for help with growing bills and the hopes of finding a better doctor but he refused, deeming such beyond his concern and leaving them with the same check he had in every visit prior. 

With no way to make money to care for her herself or her mother, Natasha turned to the only thing she could think of, thievery. What started as sneaking into restaurants and fancy events in order to steal food soon became grabbing expensive items left sitting on tables, selling them for cash that would keep the lights or the heat on even a month longer. 

Still, within eight months, her mother was gone and Natasha was alone - without a job or a place to go. 

The teenager adapted the only way she knew how, using the same tricks that she had before but this time in order to get into hotels. She used her father’s name and position in order to get their attention and if asked, used the pet name her mother had used for her when asked in order to avoid being caught, Baby. 

Soon, she realized that showing fearlessness and confidence could get her almost anything - whatever hotel she could manage soon became the most lavish she could find and just having a bed to lay in at night became enjoying the high class service and catering offered to her.

One night, while enjoying dinner in the hotel restaurant, she was approached by an arrogant teenage boy who was clearly eager to flaunt the wealth his parents held. Rage flooded her but instead of lashing out, her mind pulled her on a different route. She played into his every word until he was obsessed with her and then she used it, doe eyes and sweet voice pleading for what his money had to offer her for three whole months. His interest - or rather his family’s interest in finance and technology was his ultimate downfall, giving her every bit of information she needed to drain his bank account and disappear.

Natasha quickly became aware of just what kind of power she held and she planned on using it, starting with the man whom she deemed, in some way, responsible for the loss of her mother. 

The teenager arrived on her father’s doorstep and played every bit of the confused and mortified girl finding out that her father had a whole life that she and her mother had been unaware of. It was while his wife asked her to wait upstairs as they fought in the living room that she found his study, making quick work of getting every ounce of information she could in order to ruin him financially later. 

Unexpectedly, however, she found an account that was depositing the same amount that he had been paying out to her and her mother monthly. She followed the lead in hopes to meet her possible half-sibling and found a true family instead. A half-sister, Tali Fox (who reminded her greatly of her own mother) and her mother who all too happily took her in and adopted her as if she had always belonged.

Still, the world of lavish living and conning men whom she felt deserved it had piqued her interest in a way she couldn’t explain and she wasn’t ready to give up. She became a chameleon of sorts; spending nights going out to special venues, catching the eye of a rich male and playing the role of their dream girl - she’d use them for months, allowed them to shower her in precious gifts until she grew bored, draining their accounts and disappearing from their lives.

Six months ago she was arrested in California on multiple charges of larceny, fraud and forgery and had been awaiting a trial that finally began at the end of August and concluded just last week with a unanimous verdict of innocence, due to both a lack of evidence and witnesses. (aka; this little b*tch is good at what she does, no evidence and most dudes won’t even come out to say anything against her because they’re either still in love and/or don’t want to admit they got played by this angel face)

Now that she is out, she has arrived in New York to spend some quality time with her sister and perhaps, lay low for a while. 

Personality

Look, there’s no way to sugarcoat it, this girl is the sugar baby supreme okay? She wants your attention and your love and your money and that’s it. She doesn't feel nothing for you anyway, but she feels even less if you don’t adore her, dammit. 

She’s not a bad person, she’s really not - she pry donates all her clothes to the women’s shelter once she’s worn them even once and donates more than half of the money she steals to charity but like...she’s just very very angry and hurt and thinks all rich men deserve to suffer for being the type of man her father was which like - are you going to tell her she’s wrong? And she’s in too deep now, she just can’t stop. 

A true personality unknown though, tbh? She basically has been playing chameleon for so long, she doesn’t know who she is or how to be? Just adjusts to make you happy. Literally the fakest. 

Also she’s totally pansexual but like...way too focused on scamming men because they’re dumb and shit so like, definitely pry fucks around with females/nonbinaries from time to time but always finds herself going back to the hustle.

Desired Connections

A childhood friend who knew Natasha before the loss of her mother who hasn’t seen her since before that happened?

A childhood friend who’s known Natasha the whole time and maybe worries about her and her mental health?

The child of someone she conned? Honestly give me someone who’s dad Natasha hustled and they either hate her for it or just seriously respect her because they didn’t like him anyway? Or maybe even a sibling or an ex that she conned? 

For males? Past scams? Current scams? Future scams? Let this bitch play you, please. We can decide details as to how long or how serious it got, they could hate her or be secretly still obsessed/in love with her or both at once? Literally anything, okay! If you want someone to fuck up your guy in the past or future - this is your girl!

For females or nonbinaries? Give me someone who was maybe genuinely interested in her? Someone who wanted/tried to have a relationship and she was just like nah and it fucked them up a little bit maybe? Honestly maybe even a female/nonbinary she conned because even though she usually doesn’t, she thought they were an ass and deserved it?  

Someone who perhaps she actually started falling for a little, realized she wasn’t actually scamming them, that she was just chilling and she was like excuse??? And left without even scamming them? Or did just to prove to herself that she didn’t actually care about them? Kslflaks;sa I don’t know, she’s messy as hell, y’all.

[robinrunsfiction]

Do It All The Time (Con Artist AU)

Pairing: Dallon Weekes x Female Reader Rating: Teen (Some spicy scenes at the beginning, violence at the end) Requested By: None Word Count: ~9000 Author’s Note: This story was kind of a challenge for me. I’d been kicking the idea around for a while, and finally started writing in January. I wrote myself into a corner, so I had to walk away for a while, changed the villain and decided to let it get dark when it felt needed. TW for guns and gun violence at the end of the story.

Here is the playlist inspired by the story

Present

Dallon sighed, looking into the half empty glass before him. He knew he shouldn't have picked this hotel. There were dozens of equally plush hotels in town he could have checked into, but he went against his better judgement and picked this one. The bar was fairly crowded and normally he would have been scanning the crowd, but he didn’t have it in him today, it wasn't like he was going to be in town long enough to really get something started anyway. Then cutting through the din was a laugh he hadn't heard in years.

He cautiously turned his head, following the sound. The hair was different, but he would recognize that smile until the day he died, and knowing her, she would probably be smiling over him when it happened.

He must have stared too long because she spotted him, a knowing look drawing over her face, and she was saying something to the man she was with. Then she was getting up and coming his way. Dallon quickly downed the rest of his drink as she made her way toward him. But as she approached she said nothing and nodded toward the bathrooms. Dallon waited a beat before following and finding her waiting in the corridor. 

"(YN), wha-"

"Come on," she interrupted his pleasantries, grabbing the lapel of his jacket and pulling him after her into the men's room and locking the door behind him.

"After all this time you think you can just pull me around like that?" Dallon objected, smoothing his jacket.

"Would you shut up? This is serious." Dallon snapped his mouth shut hearing her tone. "That man I was talking to at the bar is a federal investigator Dallon. He works large scale fraud and financial crimes cases."

"Does he know who you are?"

"I'm not sure. He sat down next to me, but that doesn't mean much," she replied smugly, letting her vanity slip through.

"Did he mention me, or us?" The last word felt out of place

"Not specifically. I asked what he did and he said he was an investigator, and he knew there were some people who frequented this hotel that he was hoping to speak with regarding an ongoing investigation. So I started flirting with him and changed the topic to keep him off our trail."

"Our trail, there hasn't been an our-"

The bathroom door rattled and then a knock. "Hey, is anyone in there?"

"One second," (YN) replied breathlessly. She reached up and ruffled Dallon's hair, unbuttoning the top couple buttons of his shirt before leaning up and kissing him.

"Room 543," she whispered as she reached up and smudged the lipstick that she left on Dallon's lips.

Dallon stood stunned as she ruffled her own hair, adjusted her skirt so it was askew before unlocking and opening the door, giving a wink to the poor old man waiting to use the facilities. 

~

Dallon went back up to his room to collect his thoughts before going to (YN)'s room. Was this investigator really after him? Had he really slipped up that badly somewhere along the way? Or was (YN) just messing with his head?

He had wiped off her lipstick before he left the bathroom, but the feeling still lingered as he walked the long silent hallway to her room. He tried to justify it away, that it was just a distraction technique. But that didn't mean he didn't miss how it felt.

"I thought you'd forgotten about me," she said, opening the door for him when he arrived.

"Like that would happen," he replied. Now that they were truly in private, he could take her in. Gone was the slinky black dress, and instead she wore a loose t-shirt and the pair of sweatpants he was certain he had lost.

A coy smile played across her lips as she hummed in agreement before sitting on the bed. "We really do need to figure out if they're after us. Well, you more than me."

"The last time I saw you, you walked away with half the money," Dallon replied as he sat down across the room in the sleek leather chair that was more for aesthetic than comfort.

"Anyway," she started, disregarding his comment, "I sent out a couple emails and I'm still waiting to hear back if anyone knows anything," she said gesturing to her laptop in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, finally breaking the silence between them.

"I needed to get away from the snow," she replied simply. "You?"

"I needed a change of scenery too."

"That's what makes all of this seem so strange. Did you make a reservation under your name?"

"No, Maxwell Abbott."

"Have you been using that alias a lot lately? Maybe someone put it together."

"Or maybe your parents finally told someone that you've been cut off for years and they got suspicious since you've been living like this for how long now?"

"Hey, don't give me attitude! I am the only one you can trust to help you."

Dallon scoffed, getting out of the chair. "I can trust you? You walked out on me."

"Walked out?! You made it clear that you wanted to-" (YN) was interrupted by a dinging notification from her computer.

"Is it information?" Dallon asked, striding across the room to look at the screen.

"Hang on," (YN) replied, switching tabs. "No, just a shipping notification," she replied, minimizing the window, before quickly opening it back up when she realized what was on her screen.

"What's that?" Dallon asked with a smirk.

"Stop it," she snapped, trying to close her computer, but he had a hold of it already.

"Is that us?"

"Yea, in St. Lucia," she smiled wistfully then glanced up, realizing how close he was to her.

"After all these years, you still have a photo of us as your computer background?"

"I look good in it," she retorted.

"Mmm, I think we both look good in it," he replied.

"You aren't wrong," she breathed as he began to lean closer to her.

"Hey (YN)?"

"Hmm?"

"Are those my pants?"

"If you want 'em back, take 'em."

He smirked again before closing the distance between them. (YN) leaned back on the bed, never breaking the kiss as he climbed over her. Just like always with (YN) and Dallon it was a back and forth, a struggle to control the situation until one of them relented.

(YN) was the one who gave in this time, but was rewarded by Dallon moving to kiss down her jaw to her neck, to the spot that always made her melt. She couldn’t help but let out a gasp when he felt him leaving a mark on her neck. Then she felt his hands on the hem of her shirt and she sat up to let him pull it off. In that moment their eyes connected and they both realized how much was left unsaid between them.

Their lips crashed back together as (YN) fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off before pulling him against her as his hands roamed over the familiar territory of her body. She didn’t realize how badly she missed this; the feeling of him on her, the way his hands felt against her skin, the way they moved together, knowing exactly what the other needed without saying it aloud, the look in his eye when he rested his forehead against hers after coming undone.

"Looks like we're in this together again," Dallon chuckled after a few minutes of silence only interrupted by their panting breath.

"Why am I not surprised."

Flashback 

(YN) walked into the crowded bar and evaluated the crowd. A lot of businessmen, they always seemed to get too drunk and expected something in return for an overpriced drink, and therefore rarely worth her time, then some older couples, which were completely useless to her. Then she spotted him. Seemingly alone, no ring, tall, handsome as hell, well dressed, this could work.

"Hi," she smiled up at him as she slid onto the stool next to him.

"Hello," he smiled back, curiously. 

"Do you know what's good here?"

The man threw back the rest of his drink as the bartender approached. "Two old fashioneds for me and my friend."

The bartender nodded and turned to make the drinks. "Thank you!" She cooed. "I'm (YN)."

"Maxwell Abbott," he smiled back as the bartender returned with their drinks.

"So Maxwell, what do you do?"

"Investment banking," he replied.

She hummed as she smiled, taking a sip of her drink. She eyed him up and down, something was off. "Sounds important."

Dallon shrugged and smirked. "Keeps me busy. What about you?"

"I travel."

"For a living?"

"Yea, I'm a contributing writer for a few travel websites."

"That sounds like the perfect life," he replied.

"It really is," she gushed. "I'm going to St. Lucia in a couple days, it's beautiful this time of year."

"Is that so?" He asked, leaning in closer to her. "I bet it's nothing compared to you."

(YN) felt her heart hammering in her chest. This is not what this was supposed to be, this was supposed to be a few free drinks. "Have you never been?" She asked, placing her hand on his arm.

"No, not yet. I don't get to travel much."

"Aren't you traveling now? Or do you just like hanging out in hotel bars?"

"True, I am traveling now," he laughed.

"Well you should go as soon as possible, before it gets too crowded."

"I think you could teach me a thing or two," he smiled and her heart started hammering again.

"That sounds like it might be a great idea," she replied, taking a sip of her drink.

"So do you travel alone?"

She nodded. "It's easier than trying to coordinate schedules with someone else and I don't have to worry about their opinions or plans."

"What do you think of this hotel?"

"It's one of my favorites. Luxurious, but in an understated, modern way. And it always has the most interesting guests," she said as she placed her hand on his arm again and met his eyes. “I always have a good time here.”

He nodded in understanding as he leaned in toward her. "Do you know if there's a lot of differences between rooms?"

"We could find out," she replied with a hint of a smirk as she leaned in as well.

Their lips met briefly for a moment and they pulled back, searching the other’s face for a hint of hesitancy. Seeing none, his lips pressed back against hers with a passion that took her off guard for a moment before she placed her hand on the back of his neck, taking control of the situation, deepening the kiss.

Before either of them could realize what they were doing, they were leaving the bar, bill unpaid. When they got in the elevator, he backed her into the corner. He wanted to regain control of the situation; he wanted to be in control of every situation he was in, but it was very clear that (YN) had no intention of giving in to him. She bit her lip as he loomed over her before he grabbed her hip, and pulled her to him. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms over his shoulders as he kissed her again.

The elevator doors opened on his floor and he took her hand and led her to his room. When he got the door unlocked, he backed her against the desk, kissing down her neck as she let out a gasp. She pushed off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt as his hands traveled down to her thighs, pushing her skirt up before picking her up and carrying her to the bed, dropping her into the soft linens. She let out a giggle of delight as he climbed over her, pulling up her dress as he went. She felt a jolt of confidence as he gasped lightly at her in nothing but her lace lingerie.

“Like a work of art,” he murmured under his breath.

She laughed lightly and reached out for his belt, eventually tossing aside the rest of his clothes. (YN) marveled at him the same way he admired her before pushing him over and straddling his hips. Still they fought for control of the situation as she kissed him deeply and bit his lip, but he held her hips tight.

“You think you’re in charge here?” He asked as she peppered kisses down his neck.

“Mmhmm,” she murmured.

(YN) couldn’t see his smirk as he rolled her off him, eliciting a yelp of surprise as he pinned her wrists above her head. “How about now?” He asked with a devilish grin that made her giddy.

~

“Can I guess something about you?” She asked after they had both regained their breath and composure a while later.

“Sure, why not,” he said rolling over on his side to look at her, propping his head up on his hand.

"You aren't an investment banker," she said simply.

"What?" He asked sitting up, looking down at her confused. 

"I live in New York, I know investment bankers, a lot of them, and you are not one."

"Why do you think that?"

"You let me talk about myself," she replied with a smile and he laughed. "So drop the act and tell me straight, what con are you running."

"You're calling me a con artist?" He asked, not even trying to sound offended as (YN) nodded. "Takes one to know one."

"Your right it does, so spill, starting with the name."

He smiled and shook his head. "My name is Dallon. Dallon Weekes."

"That's so much cooler than Maxwell Abbott!” She exclaimed.

"Exactly why I don't use it! People remember it."

"So by investment banking, you mean you get people to invest in some bogus venture and you skip away with the money?"

Dallon shrugged while looking smug. "What about you?"

(YN) scrunched up her face like she was thinking then slid out of bed, putting her clothes back on. "You know my name, you know where I'm from and what I do. How about the next time you find me, I'll tell you all the rest of my secrets."

"That hardly seems fair," he retorted.

"Life isn't fair Dallon. I really like that name, it's so cool. And," she said climbing back onto the bed toward him, "I like you." She pressed a kiss against his lips again. "I'll see you around," she said as she hopped off the bed and out the door.

Dallon laid back, totally stunned and maybe a little in love.

Present

"Are you really gonna take back your sweatpants? Because they're the most comfortable thing I own," (YN) asked as she pulled her t-shirt back on.

"You own?" He laughed.

"Possession is nine tenths of the law," she shrugged.

Dallon ran his hand through his hair. “Keep ‘em.”

(YN) grinned like she just won a prize as she climbed back into the bed next to Dallon. “So did you mean it?”

“What?” He asked, glancing over at her.

“When you said you’d wouldn’t be able to forget me,” (YN) said softly.

“Yea,” he replied. “It really fucked me up when you left.”

(YN) sighed. “You didn’t want to be together and I understood that, it was too risky, so I took my share and left. I thought that's what you wanted."

"That's not what... I mean," he groaned and ran his hands over his face while he tried to put the words together. "I didn't know what I wanted and I sure as hell didn't know what you wanted."

"It doesn't matter now."

"Why?"

"Because we're here now."

Dallon turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"Not a single day has gone by that I haven't thought about you. It killed me to walk away, but now we're back in this together... well I feel like there's something to that."

"To us?" The words felt less foriegn on his tongue than they did just hours ago.

(YN) nodded. "Yea."

Dallon reached over and let his fingers graze over her cheek as she looked into his eyes. She was always trying to be one step ahead of everyone and so rarely let down her guard, but now she had again. He hadn't seen the sadness and loneliness in her in so long and seeing it now broke his heart.

"I still think about you every day too, and not just because you fucked me up," he said barely above a whisper. He leaned in and let his lips meet her's gently. The tenderness of the kiss was too much for her, tears forming behind her closed eyes. When he pulled back, she wiped her eyes quickly and he pulled her so she was resting her head on his chest. 

“I should check my email to see if anyone knows anything about that investigator.”

"Nah, let's worry about that in the morning,” he said pressing a kiss to the top of her head and she sighed, giving in this time.

~

"Yvonne, my friend at the New York DA's office hasn't heard anything," (YN) announced when Dallon came out of the shower the next morning.

"You have a friend at the DA's office?"

"Yea, we go way back," (YN) replied nonchalantly. 

"And that's safe?"

(YN) looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "How long have I been doing this? And I've never once ran into trouble until now."

Dallon ran his hand through his wet hair. "I think we should try to pretend like nothing is going on, so don't check out early. I’m going out west tomorrow, we could meet up in a few days."

"Sounds good to me,” (YN) shrugged. “Anyway, I was gonna spend the day down by the pool, and I really didn't intend on changing my plans."

Dallon nodded as he got dressed. "Maybe I'll see you down there," he said leaning down to kiss her. 

"Mmhmm, but don't be obvious that we know each other, that might tip someone off if they’re looking for us," she said when she pulled back.

"Oh, right," he nodded trying not to sound disappointed.

"I'm not trying to push you away, I'm just trying to look out for us."

"I know."

"We'll reconnect tonight, maybe go out or something?" She suggested. "And here," she said, getting up, and giving him one of her room keys.

"Good idea," he reached in his pocket and gave her one of his in return. He turned to leave but paused. "(YN)," he started.

"Yea?" She asked looking up from her computer.

"See ya later," he waved and she gave him a smile before he let himself out. He wanted to tell her that he was so happy to have her back in his life, even though it was all a mess. He wanted to say let's just run away together and pretend this wasn't happening. But most of all he wanted to tell her that he loved her.

Flashback 

Dallon stretched out on the lounge chair next to the pool. Even though night was falling, the Carribean air was still warm and humid. He was finally starting to relax after arriving late due to his flight being delayed. He hated that, it reminded him how out of control he was, and that made him uncomfortable.  

His attention was caught by a drunk man who seemed to have lost control of the volume of his voice. He glanced over and couldn't believe his eyes. It was (YN) helping the drunk man back inside the resort from the outdoor bar. (YN), feeling eyes on her, glanced Dallon's way and shot him a grin before heading inside.

Dallon's heart sank. Just because he had hooked up with her one night didn't mean anything, she could be with a different person every night, she had the right. But there was no denying she had been on his mind since she walked out of his hotel room. He had come to St. Lucia hoping to run into her since she had promised to tell him all her secrets, but maybe that was all a lie. Life wasn't fair she told him. That was the truth.

"Hi Dallon." 

He was snapped from his thoughts and looked up. (YN). "You're right, St. Lucia is beautiful this time of year."

"But not as beautiful as me, right?" She smirked, sitting on a chair next to him.

"Very true," he smiled and she rolled her eyes. "Who's the drunk? I also don't remember you being that quick when we-"

"Shut up," she said leaning over to slap his arm. "Did you really come all the way down here to find me?”

“I believe there was a promise of secrets being shared. You got the jump on me, I'm just trying to make it even."

She scoffed. "The jump? Please! All I got was your name, you gave up the rest on your own."

It was Dallon's turn to roll his eyes. "You said if I found you, you'd tell me."

"Fine, you wanna know what happened with that guy?" She said, gesturing back to the resort.

Dallon sat up straighter, nodding, as she leaned in. 

"He came up to me in the bar and he was already lit. The first thing I noticed was he's married, I mean he's still wearing his wedding ring, so he obviously has no shame. He was talking big, flashing his cash, so I asked him to buy me a drink. He ordered one for each of us, and then a few more, but I didn’t drink more than one, I kept pouring mine in his glass when he wasn’t looking. When he's barely able to stand, I suggested we should go up to his room. He passed out as soon as he got the door open so I helped myself to his credit card number, his wife's email and phone number, and wrote him a nice little note reminding him of all the terrible, filthy, things he said he wanted to do to me and letting him know that I would not hesitate to let his poor wife know what a scumbag he is if he should cancel or dispute any unknown charges his credit card anytime soon."

Dallon sat back and let out a laugh. "You blackmail unloyal men to get what you want?"

"I currently have four funding my lifestyle on a long term basis, and a few others, like my friend upstairs, that I'll hit up for a while, just to keep them on their toes. I let them go after a while."

"Wait, did you have me as a mark the night we met?"

"Not really, I just thought you were good looking," she shrugged.

"Thought?" He smirked. "Did you change your mind?"

"No, I confirmed it.”

He grinned in response. “Do you wanna get a drink?” He asked nodding toward the bar.

“Nah, I’ve had enough for the night. Wanna go for a walk?”

Dallon was surprised by this suggestion. “Yea, ok,” replied getting up.

The waves broke softly along the shore as they walked through the sand. Neither had said anything for some time and the silence was frustrating him.

“How’d you end up with four different men financing you?” He asked out of the blue.

(YN) sighed. “When I turned 17 I was interning at my Dad’s law firm, just doing filing and things like that because my parents wanted me to become a lawyer and wanted me in that environment as much as possible. One of the partners heard it was my birthday and apparently thought I was turning 18, not 17, so he sent me a really inappropriate email. This was all before Me Too and he thought it was ok. I marched right into his office and told him that he was sexually harassing a minor and I could have him disbarred and thrown in jail. He offered to basically put me on a weekly allowance to buy my silence. I was young and stupid so I went for it.”

“Damn,” Dallon muttered. “I’m really sorry.”

(YN) shrugged. “I used all my newfound money and kinda turned into a party girl. I went to Columbia, but never took my LSAT and when my parents found out I wasn’t going to law school, they cut me off. The thing is, they were so embarrassed they never told anyone what happened so no one questioned how I was living. But I realized there were plenty of old creeps with status and big bank accounts that I could-”

“Blackmail?”

“That always sounds harsh,” she laughed darkly, looking up at Dallon. He could see the sadness in her eyes. “But I’ve matured, gotten smarter, and I’ve got a really solid savings built up because eventually those old bastards are gonna start to croak and I have to be prepared and writing won’t cut it.” (YN) sighed, “But now you know every dirty detail. Happy?”

Dallon stopped walking and turned to look at her. “When was the last time you opened up like that?”

“Never,” she laughed lightly.

“Why me?”

“You actually asked.”

Present

(YN) settled into a lounge chair with her book and a drink. She wore her dark sunglasses and spent as much time watching the people around the pool as she did reading her book.

A while later a familiar tall, lanky figure sat down in a chair directly across from her. She lowered her glasses and shot him a smile that he returned. She went back to reading until she noticed someone sit down on the chair next to her. She glanced over at the man who seemed overdressed to be next to a pool.

"Hello again," he said. "We met last night at the bar."

"Oh hey!" She said setting down her book. She wanted to signal to Dallon, but wasn't sure how to do it subtly. "It was Agent Brandon right?"

"Brendon Urie, with the FBI, yes," he smiled. She noticed the smile seemed genuine as it reached all the way up to his eyes.

"Did you ever find those people you were looking for? To interrogate or whatever?"

He shook his head. "I can't discuss ongoing investigations."

"Oh right," she smiled. "I don't know how any of that kinda thing works."

"All for the better, you wouldn't want to be mixed up with criminals."

She nodded. "So do you normally hang out at pools in a full suit?" She giggled, reaching over to touch the sleeve of his suit jacket.

"Only when I'm on the clock," he smiled, but something felt off to (YN). 

"Well maybe if you tell me what kind of people you're looking for and give me your number I could let you know if I see them around."

He nodded as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a business card and started scribbling down information on the back. "If you have any information, or even if you don’t, don't hesitate to call," he said, handing her the card before getting up and flashing her another smile as he walked away.

She flipped over the card as he walked away to read the descriptions and swallowed hard. Other than her hair color that she had changed recently, the description was definitely her and the description of the male was obviously Dallon. She stuck the card in between the pages of her book and glanced across the pool at Dallon. He was talking with a leggy blonde in a tiny bikini. (YN) rolled her eyes and went back to her book, but occasionally peeked at Dallon across the way.

(YN) was not the type to get jealous, she prided herself on her ability to make others jealous of her, but she felt a pang of envy at the girl who had captured Dallon's attention. Sure it was her idea to stay apart, but not all her ideas were perfect and she had bigger things to worry about.

As the afternoon sun began to dip in the sky, she grabbed her things and headed back up to her room with one last glance back at Dallon. He was on his phone and didn’t seem to notice her leaving. When she got back to her room, she had a new text notification.

“Dinner reservations at 7 PM,” Dallon’s text read, with a link to the restaurant.

(YN) smiled and went to pick something to wear.

Flashback

(YN) was in her apartment, working on an article when her phone rang and she saw it was Dallon. It had been a few months since they met and then when they met up again in St. Lucia. After they reunited, (YN) had quietly checked out of her room in the resort and moved into Dallon's suite where she spent the rest of her time in St. Lucia. Since then, they had kept in touch, but hadn't seen each other in person. She smiled as she answered. “Dallon.”

“What are you up to (YN),” he asked and she could hear the smirk through the phone.

“Working for a good honest living, something you know nothing about.”

“Ouch. Well I’m in town, wanna take a break tonight and get dinner?”

“You know I’m never going to turn down a free meal,” she laughed. “When are you picking me up?”

“I’m already on my way.”

Dallon arrived shortly after and they headed to a quiet little restaurant that she knew had a long waitlist for reservations, but (YN) didn't question how they were immediately seated.

"Come to Palm Springs with me," Dallon said suddenly after the waiter left with their orders.

"Why?" She said, narrowing her eyes at him as she took a sip of her drink.

"I have a meeting with a new potential investor and I feel like I could use some back up, someone clever like you."

(YN) couldn't help but smile. "When would we leave?" She asked, glancing at the snow that had started falling heavier since they arrived.

"Next weekend," Dallon replied. "Plenty of time for you to familiarize yourself with everything, I'll send the information over tonight."

"And I'll send you the link for the cutest little pink dress I found at Stella McCartney today," she grinned.

Dallon rolled his eyes and sighed, but couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Deal."

~

The following weekend, Dallon and (YN) boarded an early flight to California. They settled into their business class seats, and Dallon put on headphones as (YN) started to read the book she had brought along.

Dallon stared out the window, watching the earth pass below them. He had spent a long time preparing for this job. He had found his mark months before at a cocktail party that he had crashed and had started developing a plan for how he could extract the most cash possible. If there was one thing Dallon understood, it was how to listen to people, make them feel important, and then use that to his advantage to get what he wanted. That was the thing that was different with (YN); he didn’t want to use her, he respected her. She was smart, clever, and resourceful. Her feisty personality drew him in, and kept him in his place and the chemistry between them was intense. 

Just then he felt something against his shoulder. He glanced over and found (YN) had fallen asleep against him. He smiled softly. It wasn’t like him to get attached to anyone, but since the night that she walked into his life he felt like he might have finally met his match. He resisted the urge to press a kiss onto the top of her head and let her sleep instead.

After landing, they drove out to the hotel they would be staying at for this initial visit.

“Checking in,” Dallon smiled at the woman working at the front desk. (YN) suppressed her amusement at the woman’s flustered expression when she looked up. She couldn’t blame her, Dallon’s grin could do that to anyone.

“What’s the name?” “Two rooms under Winston Donahue.” “Adjoining rooms correct?” She asked, glancing between Dallon and (YN).

“That’s correct.”

“Well if you need anything at all, my name is Kim, please feel free to let me know,” she said, handing them their room keys and (YN) couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she walked away.

“You gonna need anything Winston?” (YN) asked in a sarcastically seductive voice as they waited for the elevator.

“Nah, I think I’ve got everything I’ll need,” he smiled back at her and (YN) rolled her eyes again as she boarded the elevator.

“The meeting is at 7 PM, so we need to leave by 6:45,” (YN) said looking at her phone.

“So we have a few hours,” Dallon responded, matching her suggestive tone from moments before as they stepped off the elevator.

“I thought we were keeping things professional,” (YN) replied.

“Right, of course,” Dallon replied, putting his hand up defensively as they made their way to their rooms. “I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

Dallon started unpacking his suitcase and considered jumping into the shower to freshen up from the flight when he heard a knock on the door between his room and (YN)’s. He answered the door without a thought, but was completely caught off guard when he saw (YN) standing on the other side in nothing but lacy lingerie.

“I thought we were keeping things professional,” he finally choked out.

“Ok, fine,” (YN) shrugged, stepping back to close the door on her side.

“Wait,” Dallon said, reaching out to hold the door open.

“Hmm?” She hummed innocently.

“Get in here,” he said grabbing her hand and pulling her into his room.

~

“Lawrence,” Dallon greeted an older man with a hearty handshake. The restaurant that he had selected for this meeting was an upscale steakhouse, which didn’t surprise (YN) in the least given what she ascertained about him. She gave him a once over and immediately recognized by the way he carried himself that if she was meeting him in different circumstances, she would have made him a mark herself.

“Winston good to see you again,” Lawrence replied. “And this is your associate?”

“Yes, Anna, this is Lawrence Hall. Lawrence, this is my legal advisor, Anna Williams,” Dallon introduced (YN) with her fake name.

“Nice to meet you,” she said with a strong handshake and the most charming smile she could muster. She could immediately tell she had won him over. 

“Nice to finally meet you as well,” he smiled. “Let’s get started.”

Over dinner, Dallon launched into his impassioned speech about the music and arts foundation he was supposedly establishing. He described in such detail the location he had picked, and the plans already in the works, for a moment (YN) almost forgot that he wasn’t being honest, and that the plan was actually just to line their pockets.

“I think you have a great plan,” Lawrence replied. “If that tax exempt status comes through, we can get the paperwork signed and move forward. I have to fly out for some meetings tomorrow morning, but we can meet again in a few weeks, and get everything finalized.”

“That should work for me. Anna?”

“I might have to move a few things around, but it shouldn’t be a problem,” (YN) replied.

“Perfect!” Lawrence said as the waiter returned to the table with the check. Dallon reached into his suit pocket for his wallet, but Lawrence grabbed the check first. “Nonsense Winston, let me take care of this.” Dallon glanced over at (YN) and they exchanged knowing looks.

Everything was working exactly to plan.

~

Dallon felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. “Hey Ryan.”

“Hey, where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in forever!” His friend greeted him.

“I’ve been really busy with this project,” Dallon said as he wandered out onto his room’s balcony overlooking the pool.

“Oh, I see. Where are you?”

“Palm Springs right now.”

“Business or pleasure?”

“A little of both,” Dallon smiled as he spotted (YN) sunbathing poolside. He leaned against the balcony railing feeling the California sunshine warming his face.

“You got some help with this one?” Ryan asked, amused by his friend. “I thought you only worked alone.”

“I needed some assistance to give myself more credibility.”

“How hot is she?” Ryan asked, and Dallon just sighed in response. “You know you’re gonna have to cut her loose after you’re done, right?”

“Why?” Dallon asked slowly, straightening up.

“People are gonna catch on to Bonnie and Clyde. When it’s just you, you can disappear, when it’s two or more people working together repeatedly, that stands out. I thought that’s what you always said.”

Dallon was stunned. He and Ryan had worked together before, but when his friend asked for help again, he told him he couldn’t risk it, but he hadn’t even thought about what would happen after that night. His heart started hammering in his chest and he felt ill. 

“Dallon, you there?” Ryan’s voice on the other end of the phone cut through the noise in his head.

“Yea, yea I am. And you’re right. We were just having fun anyway, nothing serious.”

“You could always retire,” Ryan suggested. “Find a nice little place to settle down with your girl, go off the grid.”

“I’m not ready for that,” Dallon replied.

“I know you're not, but let me know how it goes,” Ryan said before they exchanged goodbyes.

Dallon went back into his room and sunk down on his bed, his legs seemingly not wanting to work anymore. It was true that what he and (YN) had wasn’t defined in any way. They were partners in crime. Friends. Friends with intense chemistry. He remembered back to the day when they flew out to Palm Springs the first time, the way her head felt against his shoulder. He remembered the way her body felt against his.

He pressed his hands against his eyes. He hadn’t ever felt this way about someone else before. But in the long run she’d be better off not running cons, he didn’t want that life for (YN). He wanted her to be able to just enjoy traveling and writing and the things she wanted to do. Not looking over her shoulder constantly and using fake names. Dallon loved (YN) and he knew what he had to do for her to live her best life.

~

That night the deal was finalized with Lawrence and $5 million dollars into Dallon’s account. The next morning the transfer cleared, he would transfer half to (YN)’s account. He thanked Lawrence profusely and assured him he would be hearing from him with updates as soon as he could. Despite the significance of the largest con he had ever pulled off, Dallon couldn’t find himself excited after the conversation with Ryan.

(YN) suggested they go out for celebratory drinks afterward, and Dallon agreed. Not that he wanted to celebrate, but because he needed something to take his mind off everything.

"So what's next for us?" (YN) grinned up at him after they were served.

Dallon's throat went dry. "Us?"

(YN) tried not to let her face fall at the response. "Yea, do you wanna work together again soon? This was a lot more fun than what I usually do."

Dallon hated this. He hated that he couldn’t be completely honest with her. "I don't think that's a good idea. Working together too much could raise suspicions."

"Oh. Yea, that’s true. I get it," she smiled, but her heart was breaking.

Dallon then felt a pang of disappointment. He wanted to scream 'don't you care about me? Don't you want to be with me? I thought there was something between us!' But he swallowed it down. It was better this way he reminded himself.

When they returned to the hotel, (YN) gave him another smile and congratulations on a job well done before heading into her room. Dallon spent the rest of the night tossing and turning instead of sleeping. He regretted everything and needed to tell (YN) how he felt. He realized he was willing to walk away from this life if it meant being with her. When he stepped out of his room, he was startled to see the cleaning woman coming out of (YN)’s room.

"Excuse me, where is the guest that was in this room?"

"Checked out earlier this morning," she replied.

Dallon felt sick. He ran a hand through his hair and rushed back into his room and grabbed his phone and called (YN). It went straight to voicemail, but he couldn't bring himself to leave a message. He had gotten what he said he wanted.

~

The night before when (YN) closed her door behind her, she let her head fall back and sighed. She shouldn't have been surprised at Dallon's response. There wasn't a Valentine's Day card for what she and Dallon were and the feelings she had developed for him were not his problem. He didn't owe her anything other than her share of the money and she knew that, but the sooner she could get away, the better. She grabbed her computer and set to work

After a couple hours of sleep, she got up, packed her suitcase and called a car to take her to the airport. No one was going to look out for her in this world, not even the one person she thought might care about her, so she had to do what was best for herself and disappear.

Present

"Can we talk before we go back to the hotel?" Dallon asked, running his hand through his hair as they stepped out of the restaurant after dinner.

"Sure, there's a park around the block if you wanna go there?"

"Sounds good." As they walked, Dallon noticed that (YN) was rubbing her arms and shivering in the quickly cooling night air. "Hang on," Dallon said, stopping in his tracks and taking off his jacket, wrapping it over her shoulders. "Better?"

"Yea thanks," she smiled up at him.

When they arrived at the park, there wasn't anyone else around. They found a bench and sat down.

"I'm flying out to visit my friend Ryan tomorrow, and I know this has been a whirlwind, but I had an idea."

"What would that be? And remember, you having an idea got a federal agent following us in the first place," she smirked.

"Marry me."

"What?" She asked, shocked.

"If we're married, they can't force us to testify against each other, if we get caught."

"Oh. Yea, that's true," she replied. Dallon noticed that she sounded disappointed, so he took her hand. He realized if he ever was going to have a real shot with (YN), he had to act now. "And like I said last night, I haven't been able to keep you off my mind this whole time, I always keep coming back to you, I'm always looking for you," he paused, looking down nervously before looking back up at her earnestly. "I love you, (YN), since the night we met. There's no one else for me. I wanted to tell you, but by the time I got my head out of my ass, you were gone.”

(YN) was taken aback. "You're serious? Oh my god, you're serious," her heart was racing as he nodded. "Yes! I love you too, Dallon," she said as if the words were almost a surprise to her, the smile growing across her face.

Dallon was grinning as well as he grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her deeply. "I don't have a ring, I mean I wasn't really expecting to do this today," he laughed when he pulled back. "You deserve so much better than this."

(YN) shook her head. "I have you, that’s more than I deserve."

"Do you wanna go back to the hotel and shop for rings online?" Dallon asked.

(YN)'s face lit up even more. "That sounds like a great plan. And then I have some ideas for after that."

~

The next morning (YN) boarded the elevator after running down to the hotel cafe for a coffee. Just as the door was about to close, someone rushed up and she pressed the door open button. When she looked up she wished she hadn't. 

"Agent," she said politely. 

"Just who I was looking for," he replied as he pressed the button for the third floor, but his tone of voice had changed from the last time she spoke with him by the pool.

"Oh, why is that?" She asked, turning on the charm as the elevator went up.

"I think you know why," he answered as the doors opened. "Come with me."

"I don't-"

Without saying a word, he opened his suit jacket, displaying the handgun he had holstered. (YN) swallowed hard and stepped off the elevator. She followed him down the hall to his room, trying to keep calm.

"I really think there's a misunderstanding here sir, I really haven't done anything wrong," she said as the door shut behind her.

He turned to a stack of papers in a manila folder on the desk and pulled out a photo of herself and Dallon at a bar in Palm Springs, the night they had finalized the deal with Lawrence. It had been her idea to go there after the deal was finished. Lawrence must have already suspected them if he was already tailing them. "Ms. Williams, isn't this you and your partner, Winston Donahue, who I have also witnessed at this hotel?"

(YN) was struck by the use of her alias, but maintained her composure. "I'm sure that's a very good looking couple, but my hair is different than hers and I don't think a blurry photo and being in the same hotel as some stranger who also might be in a blurry photo is enough to hold me here," she retorted.

"You aren't going anywhere," he said.

"I do not need to be talked to like I'm some kind of criminal," she said more sternly as she walked back to the door. As her hand reached the handle, she heard the safety of his gun click and her breath caught in her chest. 

"I'm going to need you to back away from the door, " Brendon said sternly.

"I really think you have me confused with someone else," she said, trying not to let fear crack through her voice.

"I'm certain I don't. Now move."

(YN) turned from the door and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I don't believe you're a real federal agent. You would have already charged me if you believed I was guilty of something. If you wanna play lawman, you gotta try harder than this."

Brendon drew his gun again, anger flashing across his face. "Just get me in contact with your partner."

(YN) bit her lip. For the first time in a long time, she didn't know what her next move was. Dallon had no idea where she was, let alone that she was in trouble, real trouble. “I don’t have my phone on me.”

“Seriously?”

(YN) held her hands up. She didn’t have her purse on her, only her room key, and coffee. “Seriously.”

He sighed and went back to his file, and pulled out a sheet. “Here,” he said, handing her the paper that appeared to be a dossier. “Is that the number?”

“I can try it.”

“You’d better,” he snapped.

(YN) kept her eyes on him as she made her way to the room phone. She dialed the number and hoped that Dallon would answer as it rang and rang.

“Hello?”

“Winston, it’s Anna,” (YN) said, hoping he would recognize her voice and realize something was going on.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, instantly concerned.

“Someone needs to talk to you,” she said, before handing the phone to Brendon who was looming over her.

“Winston, I believe you have something I want and I have something you’re gonna want back,” Brendon smirked.

“If you lay a hand on her, you’re a dead man walking,” Dallon snarled back.

“You have 48 hours to bring me $5 million, cash, and Anna walks. And if I don’t get the money, well, I bet you’re gonna wish that you were dealing with the feds. I’ll be in touch.” Brendon said, slamming down the phone.

“How did you even know to come after us?” (YN) asked as Brendon crossed the room.

“Lawrence is a friend of mine. He told me how you conned him out of some serious cash and promised me half if I could get it back for him.”

“Why didn’t you go after Winston in the first place? Why bring me into it?”

“Because when Lawrence was giving me the information, he specifically said Winston seemed totally in love with you, and judging by his response on the phone, he was right.”

~

“Come on, pick up,” Dallon grumbled as he paced the airport terminal, running his hand through his hair.

“Hey, Dal, what’s up?” Ryan said happily when he answered.

“Change of plans. I have a situation.”

“Shit,” Ryan said upon hearing his friend’s tone. “What’s wrong.”

“I’m at the airport, so I can’t explain it all, but I’m gonna need a lot of green.”

“How much?”

“Just get to printing, (YN)’s life is on the line.”

“Wait, (YN), where, when… (YN) is back?!” Ryan stammered. “Yea, I’ll explain when I get there, I’ve gotta board my flight now, just get to work!” Dallon shouted before hanging up and rushing to get on the plane.

~

The moon shone down on the beach as Dallon stood waiting where he was instructed. Then he saw two figures walking toward him. When they were close enough, he could see it was (YN) and Brendon, but Dallon had never seen (YN) like that before. The dark circles under her eyes were unmistakable, and unlike her normal confident and carefree demeanor, she appeared broken down. It took a moment for Dallon to realize that Brendon also had a gun pressed to her back. He reached back and pulled out his own weapon and pointed it at Brendon.

“Do you have the money?” Brendon barked. 

“What do you think this is?” Dallon replied, holding up a large metal case.

“Go get it,” Brendon commanded, shoving (YN) forward. Dallon gave her a reassuring smile as she crossed the sand, the sea breeze whipping at her skirt. She took the case with a weary smile in return and carried it back to Brendon. He snatched the case from her hands, and examined the contents. “Get lost,” he growled up at her.

(YN) felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders as she turned around and hurried back to Dallon who still had his gun trained on Brendon. They exchanged relieved smiles when without warning a shot rang out.

Dallon watched as (YN) stopped in her tracks. Her eyes went wide and her smile faded into a look of fear. Dallon rushed to her as she dropped to her knees and tears streamed down her face. He looked at her back and saw the blood spilling from the wound by her shoulder. He glanced up and saw Brendon making his escape.

“I got you (YN), I got you love,” he mumbled as he let her lean against him. “It will be ok, you’ll be ok. I’ll fix this, I’ll fix this.”

~

(YN) woke up to the sun shining into the room. She sighed happily as she felt the breeze off the ocean fill the room, the light curtains billowing gently. She drew in a deep breath and sighed happily. From behind her, Dallon’s strong arm wrapped around her waist pulling her close against him. He trailed kisses starting at the scar on her shoulder, up to her neck. A smile crept across her face as she rolled over and kissed him softly.

“Morning love,” he murmured, his hair falling in his face. (YN) reached up and brushed it away.

“Morning,” she replied, studying his face.

“What?” He laughed lightly.

“I was just wondering how after all the things I’ve done and been through in life, I can still end up like this.”

“Like what?” Dallon asked, running his hand across her back.

“Living in paradise with the most gorgeous, loving husband. It’s more than I could have dreamed of ever having.”

Dallon smiled softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I think it’s all balanced out in the long run. Besides, I’m the lucky one.”

(YN) grinned at that. “Mmm very lucky indeed.”

After a while longer snuggling, (YN) sat up and grabbed her laptop. The photo in the background had been changed from their first trip to St Lucia, to their wedding day on the same beach, a short walk from the bungalow they now called home.

“Oh, Yvonne emailed me, Brendon is being sentenced today for both charges of passing counterfeit bills and impersonating a federal agent. He’s looking at up to 23 years.”

“Good,” Dallon said resolutely. “I’m always going to be mad we couldn’t get him charged with attempted murder.”

(YN) rolled her eyes as she sat her computer back on the floor. “Dal, we’ve been over this. If we would have led the police to him, he could have been able to pin the counterfeit bills on us, and that would have led back to Ryan too. On top of what we pulled on Lawrence! It’s a small price to pay to live anonymously now. Life isn’t fair.”

Dallon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back down so she was laying on top of him. “I know,” he said, leaning up and kissing her. “All I care about is you’re here and safe with me now.”

“Always,” (YN) smiled before leaning back in and kissing him again.

[crue-sixx]

Forget Me Not

Title: Forget Me Not

Author: tiddly-winx

Fandom: The Dirt (Motley Crue Movie)

Note: Based in the HC "Remember Me" where the reader loses her memory but knows who the band is.

Summary: The reader is on stage with the band she dances/sings with when someone throws something at her and knocks her out cold.  She wakes up in the hospital and is scared shitless.  She had to run.

Warning: Swearing, smut mention, memory loss

It was a typical Friday night for you now-you'd been hired by the band Motley Crue as a back up singer/dancer while on the Girls Girls Girls tour.  You'd had some Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey in you but you weren't even buzzed when it was time to go on stage.  You kissed your boyfriend Mick a quick peck on the lips and wished him good luck, and he did the same for you.  You took your place next to Vince and you did your thing, all of you playing off each other in perfect sync. 

In the middle of Girls, Girls, Girls, you were dancing provocatively next to Mick-something you knew for a fact always got him going, him giving you a sultry grin that said he'd take care of you later.  As you turned from him, you felt something hit your head very hard.  

"Fuck!" Mick caught you, dropping his guitar.  The cut was tiny but it was bleeding very badly.  Vince ran over, taking off  his shirt to put pressure on the wound while Tommy and Nikki pulled the perpetrator on stage and proceeded to kick his ass. a few of the other fans joining in.  Security had called for an ambulance and you were taken promptly to the nearest hospital.

They had to postpone the rest of the tour until you got better, but they didn't know how long that would take.  Mick never left your side, him stroking the top of your hand with his thumb.  He'd talk to you like you were fine.  You heard everything he and other people said to you "Y/N...baby...please wake up..." you heard the desperation in his voice and you let silent tears fall.

It had been a week since you had been attacked, and you were showing signs of improvement-you were breathing on your own from the get go, and your body responded to outside stimuli.  But as you opened your eyes, everything came into focus.  You sat up, looking around for something familiar.  You were alone and scared, you had no memory of who you were and what you were doing here, but you saw a set of clothes that looked like they could fit a woman.  You ripped out the IV needles in your arm and quickly put the clothes on.

You peeked out of the room to see if there was anyone coming or looking and saw nothing.  You quietly left the room in a medium pace that wouldn't draw attention to yourself.  You exchanges plesantries to passerby who said 'hello' and soon you were out of the hospital and walking in the sidewalk.  The city was unfamiliar but you were starving.  You walked into a small cafe and ordered a coffee and bagel.  Of course you had no way of paying, so when you were done you made like a banana and split.

Back at the hospital, Mick had just come back from a food run to find an empty bed, hospital gown discarded on the chair, the clothes he had bought from the hotel for you gone and spots of blood on the sheets and floor.  Before he let real panic set in, he stopped one of the nurses and asked "Did you take Y/N L/N for some tests?"

The nurse said "The doctor hasn't ordered any tests for her..." she looked into the empty room and rushed to the phone to call for a missing patient.

"What the fuck?!" Mick growled "isn't it your job to make sure all the patients are accounted for?!"

Just then Tommy, Nikki and Vince came in with fresh flowers to see the commotion and confusion "Mick, what's going on?" Tommy asked.

"These asshats lost Y/N!" he was shaking in worry and rage.

"What?!" Nikki yelled "How is that even possible?!"

The hospital director came down and looked at the security camera footage from the hallways.  It had showed you in the clothes Mick had bought you, just walking through the hallway and then out of the hospital unhindered.  The director was beyond livid and he turned to the staff on duty "You're all fired.  Collect your property and get out" the stunned staff sat in silence, then gathered their belongings and left.

"How the fuck are we gonna find her?!" Vince hissed.

"We have to call the news and put out a be on the look out order.  She doesn't have any money but she needs to eat right?"

"That's true" Mick said, calming down a little.  "We can put the number to our hotel room on the screen and ask if anyone had seen her please call us..."

During the press conference, he held up your picture, said your name and where you had escaped from.  "She is not at all dangerous" he stated "If you see her, please guide her gently to a police station and call this number.  You can reach me directly there.  Also she may have some brain damage and/or memory loss.  Please be as patient as you can with her..."

The waiter who served you at the cafe recognized you right away, as you had dined and dashed on him.  At first he was mad as hell but after hearing what was wrong with you he wanted to help.  He called the number and spoke with the man from the news.  You had stopped at the cafe about 1pm, were finished in about half an hour and left without paying.  Soon more calls came in and they had established a timeline of your whereabouts.

The talk with your parents was awkward, your father yelling at him for leaving you alone in an unfamiliar place.  Your mother straight up refused to talk to Mick, he was already kicking himself for not ordering from the hospital kitchen instead of going to the cafeteria.  "I know I fucked up Mr. L/N, but I need to know if there's anyplace from her past that Y/N would be drawn to?"

Your father thought for a moment and gruffly said "Los Vegas.  Her grandparents lived there before they died.  She loves it there, just outside the Los Vegas strip there's a small motel we always stayed at when we went to visit" the sounds of papers shuffling "here's the number..."

By now, your disappearance had made national news, but you never stuck around one place long enough to listen to anything.  You had to get to Vegas, to the one place you remembered was safe.  You were right outside the off the road motel and you went into the office to see if you could con yourself a room for a few days and then skedaddle before management even knew you were gone.  When you waked in, the clerk at the counter was watching a portable tv.  He looked up at you, did a double take and said "How may I help you?"

"I need a room for a few days" you said "I can't pay right now but at the end of my stay I can!  I'm hoping to win big on the strip!"

Normally the clerk would have laughed you out of the office and told you to go fuck yourself, but you were the missing woman on the news, and the most recent report said that you might be heading this way and he had a feeling that he needed to take down the number he saw on the news just in case.  He dialed it and said "Is this Mick Mars?"

"Yeah who are you?" the tired voice scratched out.

"My name is Mike Benson, I'm a clerk at the Palm Tree Motel in Vegas right outside the strip.  Your lady friend's here.  I just gave her a room for a few days.  How fast can you get here?"

"I can be there in a few hours" the voice perked up, him hanging up the phone and booking the next flight to Vegas.  From what people had told him, you'd seemed confused and paranoid when they interacted with you so he told the band what was going on and said he needed to go alone, in case you got overwhelmed and ran away again.  They understood and wished him luck, telling him to take all the time he needed.

You were just so tired from walking and hitch hiking the past few days.  You would learn later that you waked or hitch hiked all the way from Los Angeles to Los Vegas.  How you'd managed to do that you didn't know but you were safe here, so you laid down to take a well needed nap.

It was just after sunset when Mick came into the lobby of the Palm Tree Motel, the clerk being the same one he spoke to "Mike Benson?"

"That's me" the clerk answered "She's in room 231" he passed a key to him.  "Go get er, man".

"I can pay for the room later" Mick offered.

"Don't worry about it" Mike smiled at him "it's on the house."

Mick was grateful that all the places you had dined and dashed from wouldn't accept any payment from your meals, they all understood what you did wasn't your fault and let it slide.  You hadn't ordered anything fancy-just some soup and water.  They just wanted you back safe with Mick.  

Outside room 231, he took a deep breath and turned the key.  You were sleeping peacefully in bed, he had begun blubbering like a child when he saw you.  You didn't appear to have any other injuries other than the healing bruise to your head, the cut having scabbed over.  With a shaking hand, he reached out and stroked your hair to make sure you were real.  You stirred under his touch and opened your eyes "Mick?  Why're you crying?"

"You remember me?" he said through sobs.

"Of course, baby" you said "Why wouldn't I?"

He was silent a few minutes "What's the last thing you remember?"

"What's with all these questions?" you asked confused "You act like I was missing for a while!"

"Y/N, you WERE" he turned on the TV to the news where you saw your picture plastered all over the place, saying you were found.  

You looked at him in frightened confusion "What the Hell is going on?!  Did I die and wake up in the Twilight Zone?!"

He held you close to him, you were shaking with fear "I'm right here baby..." he rubbed your back, taking in the familiar scent of vanilla and honeysuckle.  He was so relieved to have you in his arms again. "What's the last thing you remember?"

The memories were jumbled in your head, you taking a moment to put them in the right order.  "We were in stage in L.A. and I was teasing you when a glass bottle flew at me..."

"That's all true, babe" he held your hand and went on "You were in a coma for a week before you just up and walked out of the hospital" you were even more confused than ever.

"Why would I just walk out?  That's not like me at all!" you laughed a little, but you knew it wasn't funny.

"The doctor said you most likely went into a fugue state.  Like you forgot who you were.  Because you didn't see anything familiar when you woke up" he looked at the floor, ashamed of himself when you lifted up his face.

"Not your fault babe" you leaned backward with him on top of you "The hospital staff should have been watching me..." you started kissing him, you feeling like you missed his touch for a whole year.  He reciprocated at first,but stopped.  "What is it babe?"

"I can't do this..." he got off you.

"What?  You don't want to do it with me?" you asked, thinking he didn't want you anymore.

"Yes" he admitted "I need to be close to you, but I want to make sure you're okay first.  I want to have the doctor at the hospital who looked at you when you were admitted to see if there's any lasting brain damage..."

You smiled weakly and said "Okay Bob" he grinned at that, you only calling him by his actual name on rare occasions.  You were one of very few people who knew his name.  You two cuddled, each taking in the other's scent and bringing back even more memories.  

Back in L.A. each of the band hugged you for a long time, then your parents.  You were surprised to see news people there too, but you'd grown used to paparazzi swarming you since you and Mick started dating two years ago.  The doctor looked at the scans of your brain and saw no lasting damage.  You were cleared to go back to your normal life, granted that you'd have to be with someone at all times.

When you got home, there was a nice dinner with wine waiting for you and Mick.  He was just as surprised at you were, seeing a small note on the table in between two candles "Just heard the good news!  Have fun! Nikki, Tommy and Vince" you laughed softly at that, the two of you enjoying each other's company.  After an hour of the slowest, sweetest love making you two had ever shared, you cuddled close to his chest.

"Hey, Y/N?" he asked, the sweat on his skin leaving the surface moist.

You looked up at him "Yeah babe?"

"I love you" he leaned down and kissed you deeply "I'm sorry you had to wake up scared..."

You rolled your eyes at him "I told you many times, it wasn't your fault, Mick!  Stop blaming yourself!"

"I know, but if you had been killed while you were confused I would have lost my damn mind..." he bought your hand up to eye level and for the first time you saw a beautiful blue sapphire ring on a very important finger.

"Mick when did you-?" you asked, the thing taking your breath away.

"When we were making love just now" he slyly smiled at you.  "I was gonna ask you that night when we got back to the hotel but then the shit hit the fan" he locked eyes with you "So you want to marry me?"

"Yes, Bob Deal I'll marry you" he leaned in to kiss you again, this time with more hunger.  You raised your eyebrow at him and asked "You sure you want to go another round?  Your back will be aching tomorrow!" you teased him.

"Hell yeah, Y/N" he pulled you onto his lap "we gotta make up for lost time!"  you laughed, accepting both his proposals and giving him your life and in return he gave you his.

[noramoya]

KAREN FAYE SAID SOMETHING AGAIN :

https://twitter.com/wingheart?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

“I find these accusations by these 2 families the most heinous of betrayals. I spent time with all of them. Michael was so kind and giving to the entire families. I NEVER saw any hesitation, only total enthusiasm to spend every moment with MJ that they possibly could. I would spend hours in Michaels bedroom doing his hair at night, as children would be sleeping all over his room. He would even go tuck the covers over them making sure they were warm and comfortable.

I had free access to everything in MJ’s homes and hotels. If something unethical was happening...a guilty person would limit my access. Michael would often loose or misplace items. He sent me searching for things like his phone, a grooming item. I rummaged through everything, drawers, closets, under his bed covers, etc. I had full access. Not the behavior of a man with secrets!

There were times when Michael wanted time for himself. The parents and kids would be so insistent on being with him, he would always give in. He always put them first. This is so unfair to run this evil scam on MJ. It hurts me tremendously. I witnessed on many occasions...the parents PUSHING their kids on Michael. “Go ask Michael” “go play with Michael” “go tell Michael to get the chefs to make us some food”,”go ask Michael to take us shopping”, “get his credit card”

The only withdraw, I saw from Michael and these families, wasn’t puberty, it was when the families started abusing his kindness and generosity. They started EXPECTING and demanding (buy us a house, buy us clothes, take us with you) etc etc). These parents taught these accusers how to extorted money and perks from Michael...and it is continuing even after Michael has passed away. Just EVIL! My only comfort is Karma. This behavior is so unbelievably heinous...it will generate an evil energy around them that will follow them forever.

Kids slept everywhere around his room. On the floor, in big chairs, in front of the fireplace. MJ’s room was 2 stories. Michael usually let them sleep in his bed and he slept elsewhere. I often fell asleep in his bed. Michael’s bed was like a living room sofa. After concerts, everyone (fans, friends, co-workers) would jump on his bed visit talk and laugh...in Neverland and his hotel suites. I am sure most ppl do the same thing.

I witnessed many times, Michael telling the kids to go back to the guest quarters with their parents and the kids and the parents BEGGING him for the kids to stay in the main house with him. Michael had a difficult time saying no. Michael did most of his work, composing, writing, dancing at night, so he wanted that time for himself. He would wait for the kids to fall asleep, and then slip out to the theater, where he was set up to work. The accusers parents were the ones GROOMING their children how to con Michael.”

[schoe1995]

Solo Traveling

I’ll first start off by saying and acknowledging that I do come from a well household. My mom runs her own dry cleaners and my dad works at a hospital for computer programming. Wasn’t like that always. In elementary school, I had classmates leave school to go on vacation. Super jealous that they went because I hated being in school 🤣🤣🤣 so the few times I could go on vacation was during like the major breaks or holidays. As I got older and family tensions increased, i began traveling with other people. Let’s just say after a series of not knowing other people’s personalities, cliques, and plus ones....I called it quits with group traveling. It’s a huge part of why my extroverted personality changed to more of an introvert/ extrovert. Since I have my own money, why not travel by myself.

I’ll talk about the cons of traveling solo first.

It can be very expensive: even if you do go with a group...be prepared to shell out a couple of dollars depending on where your going, staying, and activities

Have to be more aware of the surroundings: there has been a couple of times I’ve been exhausted because I was trying to be more aware of what’s going on. I have to watch my own back without relaying on somebody.

It can be scary: not going to lie...the day of trips I get really bad anxiety that I kinda want to throw up. Scratch that, I have thrown up. For example, when I went to D.C, I wasn’t worried about Lyft or Uber because my big bro was picking me up. However other airports....I have no idea where lyft or Uber would pick me up. Certain airports like O’Hare Chicago airport has two levels. One is for traditional friend/ family pick up. The other level is for rideshares. Ever since that mess I decided to look up airports ahead of time and look at maps for where to find the designated area. Helps a lot of stress out.

Benefits of solo traveling

Lollllll there wasn’t a whole lot of cons. Granted not everyone is going to have the same experience as me. So this is all from my personal experience.

Planning can be fun: When you travel alone, YOU are in charge of everything. I’m every pop culture orientated so I’m looking for the best spots for photos, food, shopping, etc. it’s the millennial (probably spelled it wrong) in me.

Moving at my own pace: so this was the best part for me. I’m a huge theme park junky! When I went to Orlando with my parents back in 2017 we did Disney World all in one day. Yes it can be possible to visit all 4 parks in one day😂 but that trip in general had the most arguments I had with my mom. She basically complained about all the walking we had to do. Also couldn’t watch fireworks. Everything was so rushed that back in 2019, I did a redo Disney World trip. Oh! I’ll definitely be doing a multi part blog for that. So when you travel by yourself you don’t have to deal with “I don’t want to do this!” “Why we going here?” Less arguments...PERIODT

Moving at your own time: this kinda goes with your own pace. I’m a huge HUGE be on time person. One of my sayings is “If your early, ya on time. If your on time, ya late. If your late...don’t bother showing up”. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves when people aren’t on time. Idk if it’s just Asians but Asian people AINT NEVER ON TIME FOR ANYTHING! So you have free reign with time.

Flexibility: This was one of the things I found super awesome when it came to solo trips. My schedule to travel had so much flexibility. And since I was working in retail, I could do what I want...per say. If my days weren’t approved I’d still go on this trip🤣 but I found traveling during the off season for holidays or non busy or non important seasons were a lot cheaper. That’s what I kinda wanted to make up for; not being able to travel when I was younger and leaving school to go 🤣 now that I can...✌️

No cliques: personality wise, I describe myself as a walking tv show. So picture every Disney show, Nickelodeon, and VH1 reality shows all in one person. I really don’t fit into a mold so I call it an outsider habit. I thought I’d get super lonely when traveling alone but oddly...I’m more comfortable with it. There is this no judgement zone when traveling alone. When I went to Universal Studio with my parents, it was “why do you want to buy this” or “how old are you?” First of all...you can never be too old of anything:) This might be a con for others, so it all depends🤷‍♂️ besides with technology I’m able to FaceTime, Live Stream, record things I want others to see. Ha! This is what this blog is for!

In no way shape or form am I throwing shade to group trips. I call those experiences that helped shape my travel knowledge. I’m always grateful for that. But the couple solo travel tips I’ll give is this.

Research! I can’t stress this enough. Knowing where you are going can save so much hassle. If your traveling internationally know where your country embassy is just in case. Second, the culture of the city or country. Being knowledgeable can help avoid any cultural ignorance, stereotypes.

Flights: alright flights can be very touchy subject. I usually find great deals with Southwest when they offer sales. Sometimes buying two - one way tickets is cheaper than round trip. They also offer two free checked bags, one carry one, and one personal items. If Southwest is a little out of your budget, don’t worry! Other airlines have great prices. I use Google Flights.

Train: if your destination is a couple hours away, I’d suggest taking Amtrak. Believe it or not Amtrak depending on what city you go too have awesome deals. If you follow them on Instagram they have beautiful photos of scenic railways. When I was younger I had a huge obsession with trains. I had every train from Thomas The Tank Engine. 😂 anyways, trains also have dining cars, and sleeping cars. Some have observation decks so you can do a 360* of the surroundings

Car: I put this last for transportation. Believe it or not, traveling by car may sound cost efficient but it’s really not. Just from my personal experience from driving to Branson Missouri, Tennessee, Chicago. There is gas you have to pay and hotels can charge a ridiculous amount for overnight parking x the amount of nights your staying. WHEW CHILEEEE THE MESS!

Hotels & location: This is the boujee side of me. I like to be comfortable after a day of riding rides or exploring. Just being able to act like this is my home for the time being. I usually use Bookings.com, Trivago.com, etc. to find the best one. Use filters if you need to find exactly what you need. When I travel to concerts, I try finding hotels close to the venue. That way I’m not paying extra for lyft, Uber, or taxis. BTW, don’t ever take taxis after concerts. Such a rip off...idk if there is a law that prevents them for jacking up their prices.

Air BnB’s: So I found this to be half and half. Sometimes it’s less expensive sometimes...not so much. Air BnB is pretty much either paying for a room or whole house for a certain amount of days. My big bro introduced me to it when we went to LA. I used it on my road trip to LA with a “friend” who is no longer a friend. But it was more of other situations I don’t really use. Honestly after seeing videos of how people were being racist to other guests, that was a major turn off to me. Second I had a friend who posted a conversation of a Air BnB host who tried to play her. Yes the app does have host ratings and reviews but there are so many fees and rules that it’s like, I might as well pay for the hotel. Again it’s totally up to you but staying at a random strangers house....Issa no dawg if I’m traveling by myself.

BUDGETING IS CRUCIAL!! Anytime I go anywhere I budget how much I’m spending. So with that being said, I get all information from attractions I want to go see, restaurants, ride share, everything. You don’t have to be so exact like me but it certainly helps me to know exactly how much I’m spending. Lol

Oh!!!! Sign up for reward programs at any restaurant you eat, shops you shop, or hotels! I do it all the time because for a lot of reward programs just by signing up you get a freebie. So why not take advantage of it.

So I wrote this blog up at like 5:30AM in the morning 🤣🤣🤣😭 I know I’m in for a struggle. But I decided to do this blog post because I was just going through my social media of all the travels I did. I really hope it does help you guys out a lot.

[talix18]

November 3

Today begins with the time change back to EST, a Fleetwood Mac concert two hours away in Philly, and a head cold. I went to bed at ?? o'clock, woke up at 5:something AM, ate some leftover Halloween sugar, and put myself back to sleep. It's now 10:30 and I've finally made my way out of bed. My intentions are to pace myself and nap so that I'm still awake for the drive home from Philly, but this day's start is not encouraging. I've eaten some pizza for breakfast, so I'm thinking of taking some Excedrin or cold medicine, which will add yet another variable to this consciousness management equation.

I'm saying it's a head cold, but really it's just congestion and a headache. I'll see what's in the medicine cabinet when the cat gets off my lap.

Yes, I've become that sad middle-aged lady in the office with no husband, no kids, and two cats. I know that there are pros and cons in all of these choices, and I know just about the same number of people who are happy with their families as people who are either struggling as single parents with young kids or in unhappy relationships and really, there are no guarantees anywhere. The goal, as Sinead O'Connor put it back in the 80s, is to not want what I haven't got. But that has never been my MO.

Almost every decision I've ever made (or failed to make) has been about giving myself the maximum possible outs. I've never been good at commitment – I've always wanted room to move and now that I have it, I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. I've got all the freedom and independence to make grand gestures and absolutely no idea what to do next.

There's this saying in my specific 12-Step program that says something like “working this thing will give you a life beyond your wildest dreams” and I have a lot of issues with that. (Of course, because I am a philosophizer and an addict, justifying and rationalizing all the livelong day.) My wildest dreams include being in a loving relationship and being Stevie Nicks, so clearly I'm falling short.

So I think, well, maybe that “life beyond your wildest dreams” stuff means living like a productive member of society instead of sleeping in abandominiums. Having a job and a bank account and paying bills. Maybe my bottom wasn't low enough to make the life I have now seem remarkable. I've seen how using addicts live – when every decision is literally about getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. I got clean at 27 and I had very little to lose because I didn't have anything of my own. I was just about to start making some incredibly bad decisions when I got a DWI and a year's suspended jail sentence and was scared straight. I was still living at Mom's and going to grad school.

Maybe my dreams are too outrageous. I have a friend who celebrated 25 years recently and realized that she is living her best life. She has a job that she worked hard for and cares about, is married to a man who adores her, has two rescued dogs, and has a good relationship with her grown daughter. Why are my dreams on such a different scale? I have no ability to want things in any correct proportion. I can't play a damn instrument and haven't sung with anyone in public since I got clean – maybe touring with Fleetwood Mac is aiming a little high. How about I start with taking guitar lessons that don't cause me sleep-disrupting pain? That seems like a reasonable place to start.

Then there are my world travel dreams, many of which I've been lucky enough to live out. I went to India, for gods' sake. Not that long ago. That was amazing and surreal. And one of those things that really is a gift from the Universe, like my job and my house. I got the job I have because my father took my resume in to work and back then, the government had an Outstanding Scholar Program. Because I had excellent grades (despite having graduated from college ten+ years earlier), I was hired at one grade and automatically promoted several more within my first three years, where I've leveled off and received modest within-grade step increases at regular intervals since. I make more money than I ever though I would working a nine-to-five job; enough to put some away for retirement and still have enough to have a life now (like seeing Fleetwood Mac twice in one year or international travel). That alone puts me at a higher standard of living than most of the damn world.

My house also sort of fell in my lap. I had just moved back to Mom's after moving out of a friend's house – she had recently gotten engaged and he had moved in. They got a new puppy, so I took the cat and moved back into the basement. One of my friends' mom's is a real estate agent and told her to see if I was thinking about buying. I wasn't, but I was in my 30s and my cat did not get along with my mom's cats, so it was time to consider a living situation. I had been gifted stock in a utility by my mother's second husband's parents when I was a kid; that money was more than enough for a down payment on this tiny house next to the state park. I was about to get one of those automatic grade increases at work and could afford the mortgage and utilities: voila! Home ownership. Only some of the factors that came together to make that happen were within my control. I've seen people stuck in relationships because they can't afford to support themselves. I've seen people move from spare room to spare room because they can't afford a place on their own. I always wanted a place to live where I'd have enough room for all my stuff and no one could kick me out. (Except the bank, obvs.) I have that and have had it for damn near 15 years.

Maybe my life has been so good for so long that I don't even notice it anymore. There are very few things I have to if I don't want to do them. Just that is a huge freedom.

India happened because I had recently gotten back in touch with a women I'd met when she did PT on my first bad shoulder. She was also a yoga teacher and I'd taken some classes with her, but our schedules stopped syncing and we hadn't seen each other in a while. I responded to one of her emails offering a new class and about a week later, she asked if I wanted to join her for an evening of kirtan. I said sure, and on our way to Annapolis, as we caught each other up on our lives, she mentioned that she might be going to India with the founder of the yoga tradition she practices. “I want to go to India!” I said before even realizing it was true, and she said “Come with us!”

Now I am not a person of spontaneity. I'm not a compulsive researcher, either, but finding out in October about a possible trip to India in January is not way out of my comfort zone. For one thing, I'm a terrible flier. I'm not sure if it's the stress of airport security or being trapped in a steel tube in the sky with strangers, but anytime air travel is involved, my anxiety levels start off near the top of the chart. And this meant flying halfway around the world to a completely foreign country, although with a group that would handle all of the hotel and travel arrangements. It was the best opportunity to go somewhere I'd probably never go on my own.

And to my surprise, my reaction wasn't “I can't do that!” It was “What would stop me from being able to do that?” I had just enough vacation saved, just enough money saved, and a mom willing to take care of my cats while I was gone. I applied for a visa and got the recommended vaccinations and found myself in Mumbai in January of '18. That was a dream I didn't even know I had until it happened.

And it was almost everything I wanted it to be. My own personal eat, meditate, and have sex for the first time in two years. All that was missing was meeting an elephant. (I'll make sure the pictures of me on a camel and of a monkey on me are included at some point.) It wasn't included on our tour (which took us from Vrindivan to Rishikesh), but we added a few days on to the end and went to the Taj Mahal. I still can't believe that happened and I have pictures to prove it did. I know there are many tourist attractions that don't live up to the hype, but trust me when I tell you that the Taj Mahal is worth going out of your way for. Our first views of it were from a distance and looked exactly life every picture you've ever seen, but as I walked toward it and the perspective changed as we got closer...it was overwhelming. The white marble of the building is inlaid with stone of every color and...the artistry is literally breath-taking. We went to a workshop where, according to our travel guide, the descendants of the craftspeople who built the mausoleum still worked creating marble pieces today, several of which made their way home with me. Those Indian people see us white folk coming and I was happy to leave several hundred of my American dollars behind with them.

And that is just sliding onto the edge of today's word count. I wonder how long it will be before I see this taking any kind of shape. I know the whole point of this exercise is just to get the words out, but I'm not sure how long I can do this without repeating myself. Would I be easier if I made something up? You'd think I could wring 10K words out of each decade I've been alive, but even I know that most of them just aren't that interesting.

[irishagganixd]

My Three Ideas

Idea One:

Dog Friendly App

My first idea is a 'dog friendly' app. This app would consist of lots of information on areas which are dog friendly in Belfast/Northern Ireland. Belfast specifically, is continuously becoming more dog friendly - therefore I believe people need a more easily accessable way to find out all of the pooch-friendly places.

Pros:

A huge pro is that I am part of the target audience! I have two dogs of my own, and I am always looking for dog friendly things to do. I have joined Facebook groups, and researched deep into the internet to find fun things to do with my pups. Therefore I not only understand how much of an unnecessary hassle this can be, but I also am widely knowledged in this area!

This is something that has little to no competition as it has not been done before within Northern Ireland. The information is online, however this means people have to go out of their way to find it, and it is very difficult to find specifics such as whether they want to find a dog friendly hotel, or a dog friendlt cafe etc. I would include a filtering option on the app, so that users can filter by area, type of venue or activity.

Cons:

I would use Adobe XD for the design creation of this app - which I am completely new to. I would need to do vast research on how to use the programme efficiently - which is fine because I have a huge interest in learning XD anyway, this just gives me a push!

This will be my first time creating an app, so I will need to research further into User Experience, and how to make the user journey as easy and as fun as possible! I will also need to consider accessability issues, so that the app is free to be used by all!

Target Audience

This app would be specifically for dog owners/lovers in Northern Ireland; however, I do believe most users will come from Belfast as that is the more popular area for dog friendly activities at the current time.

What's the business model?

If I created this app, I would like it to be free. This is because the information is already out there, I would just be making it more user friendly. Making it free could also then boost the amount of users, therefore helping me gain exposure! I could attempt to get featured in articles, since this is new and specific for the local area, news companies may be interested in featuring this new and exciting application.

As the app grew, I could start to earn money through some dog friendly advertising. Such as dog day cares, dog bakeries, and even the dog friendly companies who maybe have events going on.

Idea Two

Paw Prints

The idea of this product is dog themed printables. This will include digital drawings of multiple different dog breeds with dog related quotes, dog memorials and maybe even birthday cards!

Pros:

Being a dog lover, I have looked a lot into this type of product myself. Being the target audience for your own product will definitely aid the creation process, as I will be making things that I would want to buy.

I already know typography basics, which will benefit me for any text focused posters. I am also reatively experienced in Illustrator and InDesign - therefore, I will not need to learn any new programmes.

I worked with Belfast Met for 7 months on full time placement, creating posters and other things for print. Therefore I generally know the rules for print, like what resolution is required and how to stay within the bleed etc.

One of the designers I keep up to date with, Alice Thorpe, just opened her own printables site on Shopify, I have kept up to date with her journey and I have been very inspired! I could base my knowledge of watching her journey, to help with my own!

Cons:

I have not made anything like this before, therefore I know I am going to struggle with with a few things. Being a perfectionist doesn't help either, and I know I am going to spend a while trying to perfect this new 'skill' of making printables.

Even though I am relatively good at using Illustrator, that does not mean that I am any good at drawing. Therefore, this will be something that will be very challenging. The drawings may be downgraded to silhouettes rather than detailed drawings. However, I am willing to challenge myself as this may be a project that could pay off if the additional hard work is put in!

There would be a lot of world-wide competition, especially if selling on Etsy. I would try to stand out with my different aesthetics, and also my contribution to animal charities could aid my ability to stand out.

I would also need to use my own money to do multiple test prints

How will it be built?

As I mentioned before, I will be using Adobe Illustrator and (maybe) InDesign. Illustrator will be used for the custom text and drawings, then InDesign can be used for positioning of everything and making sure the documents are print ready.

I also mentioned that I have been following a girl called Alice Thorpe, who released a similar product on Shopify, therefore I know that this is an option. However, I think it would be easier and more efficient to open a shop on a site like Etsy, and let people download the PDF printables to print at home, rather than to have it printed and sent out to them? Maybe there could be an option for them to download them on the promotional website as well?

Target Audience:

This product is definitely not for everyone, however it is widely targeted to dog lovers. Dog lovers are not age specific, however I'd say between 18 to 40 would be the main target audience of the type of products I would product. This may also only be targeting to an audience who own the breed specific products I design, therefore I am aware to make some more neutral dog themed products in order to widen the number of people who may be interested. The audience would be world-wide, since the product is just a PDF.

What's the business model?

Since I am only interested in making PDF printables, I believe the price should be very low. I considered free but then I had an idea to give a percentage of the profit to an Animal Rescue Centre? Not only is this something that I would love to do, but it is also something that could get the product more exposure! Being a dog lover myself, I know of some of the best Animal Rescue Centres in Belfast, and they have some impressive audiences themselves. If every print goes for £2, then the Rescue Centre could get £1? I could also work on a specific print where 100% of the profit goes to the chosen centre, maybe with "adopt dont shop" quote etc.

If I make rescue specific prints, I could print a few myself and give them to a few centres, for them to sell to new rescue dog owners. They would keep this money, but I could attach my business card and a web address to where they can buy similar prints. Therefore I am loosing money, but potentially gaining more exposure.

I could have an email list set up on the promotional website, and anyone who pre orders one print, gets it for 50% off, or something similar in order to try and boost the initial sales.

Idea Three

Quirky Quards

This product would be cards for all kinds of events. I have always been fussy when buying people cards, I prefer the simplistic and funny cards to the over crowded tacky cards. I therefore would create cards similar to those that I would love to buy people myself. These cards would be fun and creative, I would include lots of different options for different audiences. Cards for dog walkers, people with foster parents, congratulation cards for transgenders and much more!

Pros:

I would once again be the target audience and therefore all I need to do is make things that I would like to buy! Cards like these are relatively hard to find, or when you do find them theyre usually about £4/5 for a basic simplistic card. I would like to try and do the same style of card, for a much cheaper price.

"The average person recieves 20 cards a year". Cards are always being purchased, and different types of cards are always required!

I already know the software in order to create the design of the card.

Cons:

Learning to draw, and learning how to print these cards in the most cost effective way.

There is also a good bit of competition when it comes to making cards. Although I will be trying to stand out with the ability to create unusual cards and keeping them affordable.

How will it be built?

I would use illustrator for the creation of the illustrations and typography of the card. I would consider printing these myself, however I know it would be an investment. If this was not possible, then using websites like Shopify and Printify to print on demand might be an option.

Target Audience:

People like me who have a certain aesthetic when it comes to cards, I always shop at Urban Outfitters and Paperchase for cards, this is where they are usually priced at around £4/5 for a basic small square card. I would use these shops as inspiration, and target the same audience. This audience would definitely be mostly teenagers, probably 16 to 23. As I said previously, I would also be targeting these cards to minority groups who do not usually have many card options, although this is not the specific audience.

What's the business model?

As I mentioned before, these would need to be sold somehow. As it is going to cost money one way or another to create.

I could also promote the cards by making them out of recyled paper and envelopes, not only is this a great thing to do for the environment, but it will gain interest of those who wish to help the environment also!

If this idea does not go to planned, I could always create the graphics and come up with a new technology focused way of sending cards! Rather than E-Cards, I could create the graphics so people could share the card over messenger and text etc. I could maybe even create some sort of Instagram story template for peoples friends to post and tag them on their birthday - many people wish their friends and family a happy birthday over social media now, so this could be a more fun way of doing it!

[daydream-in-a-dream]

Trickery (NCT Yuta)

Genre: Conman!Yuta, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 1,703

Description: Cheating people money with his sweet lies, he never had to worry about his lifestyle. Searching for victims is like looking at the back of his hand. However, will he end up being trapped in his web of lies?

"That'll do it. Thanks a lot for investing in our company." Yuta shook his hand with his willing victim who couldn't seem to stop grinning as the prospective merchant was already projecting his bright future. Too bad it was just wishful thinking as Yuta was already planning to move to another city with the money he had earned from conning the man. By the time the man realised that there was no such company, Yuta was already miles away, planning to search for another victim.

The sound of the bells chiming resonated around the train station as the conductor signalled for the train's departure. Stretching his body in the middle of the platform after getting off from the train, Yuta could sense that his victim would come to him sooner than he expected. Nevertheless, he made his way to his hotel room first to place his belongings before he planned to explore the city for a little bit.

He was honestly expecting a good day out before he decided to find for potential victims. It was unfortunate that God had other plans when Yuta's favourite plaid shirt had been smudged with some food stains, mainly due to the sloppy handiwork of the waitress in the café located a few blocks away from his hotel. She only muttered a quick apology before she dashed to served the dessert on her hand, leaving him baffled. Unable to accept such an apology, Yuta approached her, only to stop mid-way as it seemed like another situation was going to unfold before him.

"You expect me to eat this thing? How ridiculous!" Scanning the cake from afar, Yuta thought the shouting was very uncalled for since the cream was slightly off, but it looked edible nonetheless.

"I'm really sorry Sir. I can get a new piece of cake for you." By then, a handful of onlookers were already anticipating the next set of events.

"That won’t be necessary. I don't have the appetite to continue my meal. You can have it." Suddenly displaying a calm demeanour, the waitress was mildly surprised by the customer's request. Yuta, however, had a hunch that this was not going to end well.

Bringing the cake closer to her mouth, she slowly took a spoonful as she watched the customer sitting before her. Despite the little smirk which was evident on his face, he didn't do anything. It was only when she scooped for the second time that he sprung into action as he smashed the cake right on her face before spewing more vulgarities towards her, leaving the bystanders to gasp sharply. Yuta knew that it was very wrong of the customer to do that, but at the same time, Yuta found himself hard to step forward to correct the situation. Sure, he might have cheated people with money but this was another level. Degrading a person just so to prove who had the upper hand?

Yuta found it stupid.

Eventually, the manager intervened. Frankly, the manager didn't need to do much since the damage had already been done except to apologise once again and fulfil to the customer's demand - which was to fire the waitress. Yuta thought it was outrageous so he perceived that the announcement of the waitress' dismissal was just for show.

However, it was too soon for him assume because as soon as she finished cleaning herself up, the waitress packed up her belongings and returned her uniform to the manager after the conflict had been resolved rather recklessly.

Worrying for her well-being, Yuta went out of the store to find her sitting on a concrete ground at the back of the shop, busy wiping away the tears on her face with the back of her hand. Sitting right next to her, he handed her his handkerchief, in which she muttered a soft thank you as she continued to wipe those tears away. They just sat there in silence for a moment, before she started to speak.

"All I want to do is just to be independent, and this is what I got? Maybe my mom was right, I didn't fit in this world." Pausing for a moment, she went on to blow her nose loudly on his handkerchief, in which Yuta scrunched his face in disgust. He was about to ask her what she meant when she beat him to it.

"Throughout my whole life, everything was served to me. I don't have to do a single work at all. Despite having to lead a good life, I often find myself envying others. Honestly, it's pretty lonely living like this when your parents are usually away to manage their major business." Frowning a little, she wallowed in self-pity before she stood up a few moments later; Yuta followed suit.

"Sorry for taking your time, and thanks for accompanying me even though you don't have to. And also, sorry for your handkerchief." Scratching her head in embarrassment, she ended with a sheepish laugh.

"It's okay, you can keep it." The offer only made her wave her hands violently in protest.

"Oh no, no, no! I'll feel bad for keeping it since it's yours anyway. I can wash it for you first before passing back to you." Finally relented with a sigh, Yuta took out a pen from his breast pocket before taking her hand to write down his number, although she was mildly surprised by the sudden move.

"Here's my number. Try to wash it quickly because I might be moving away from this city soon." For once, he gave his real contact number. No, not the numbers he usually used to trick victims. His actual phone number. He didn't know what spurred him to that, but at the same time, he found no harm in doing so.

"So... see you soon?" She hesitantly uttered. Somehow, seeing her shy made his heart fluttered. Just a bit though, or that was what Yuta believed.

"Of course." Smiling genuinely at her, with no malicious intent whatsoever, that was the last thing Yuta said before they parted their ways.

~~~

Surprisingly, he never had people to victimise in this city. Heck, he didn't even bother finding them throughout his stay here and instead, he was just waiting for her call. Internally cursing at himself, he regretted not asking for your mobile number instead of him giving his. He could only wait patiently for now.

Fortunately for him, the call arrived a few days later, even though Yuta reacted rather dramatically when he almost lost his grip on his phone, earning a few condescending glares from the nearby customers in the café he frequented - not that he cared anyway.

"Hey... so I finally managed to get it cleaned and I was wondering when's a good time for me to pass back to you. Are you free now?"

"Yeah! If you don't mind, you can drop by this café a few metres away from the riverside. You can even join me for brunch if you're free for the whole day."

Control, Yuta. Control. He reminded himself when he realised that he sounded extremely enthusiastic. He wouldn't want her to think that he was totally expecting her, would he?

"Sure! See you around!" Even when the call had hung up, Yuta couldn't suppress his smile as he giddily waited for her arrival. Honestly, he didn't even know the reason why he was acting like this. They only met briefly and yet, he was hoping for more.

Taking a sharp breath, his heart wasn't ready when he saw her walking in as the bell on the door chimed to signal her arrival. Upon spotting him at the corner of the quaint café, she waved at him ecstatically before making her way to the seat across him. 

"Here, your handkerchief all clean and new! Thanks once again!" She handed the handkerchief back to its owner. Even though she was free to go after that, she did stay with him to have some desserts. She even volunteered to show him around the city and took him to her favourite places.

It was a spontaneous date, and Yuta liked every single bit of it.

~~~

Yuta had been staying in the town longer than he expected. He was also running out of money as it was barely enough for a week's expenditure. He hasn't been doing a good job as a conman because he had been reluctant in doing so these days. He even contemplated to stop it altogether and start searching for proper jobs to support himself. Well, it did cross his mind to fool her in an attempt to get instant cash, considering she also belonged to a reputable family and judging from the way she dressed and spent her money, but he didn't have the heart to do such a malicious thing. Not when he was already falling in love with her deeply after numerous dates together.

So it came as a shock to him when she was unreachable for the past few days. No matter how busy she was, she always had time to inform him. Despite countless texts and calls, he received nothing in return. Just an automated reply which stated that the number was no longer available.

He went to all the places where they had visited together, hoping to find her. It was all proven to be futile when he still couldn't find her after going to all the possible locations. Getting devastated day by day, Yuta was forced to decide whether he should leave the city and continued his work as a conman or stay here and search for a proper job ㅡ even though he could leave the city as well and quit conning people.

Even having choices put him in a very tight spot as his pragmatic mind seemed to clash with this nagging feeling that he would eventually spot her. In the end, his hope won over his logical thinking as he planned to stay there permanently and started flipping through the newspaper to search for any suitable job vacancies.

It was harder than he thought as he got rejected in the consecutive interviews. It was to the point where he could willingly accept any job because he only had enough money for a day more despite living frugally for the past few days. So when he got an offer to work as an assistant helper in the minimart, he didn't waste the opportunity and report to work the next day.

Yuta felt like he was serving his punishment for cheating other people's money as the customers who he had to attend to barely gave him a break. There were days when children who had nothing better to do came to the store just to mess around by haphazardly throwing the items on the floor. There were also days when some cranky old people requested for more discount without shame even though the shop did have the policy to reduce the price of the products for the elderly.

On those days, he was so tempted to go back to his old ways and just earn easy money, but his conscience was stopping him from doing so. It was as if he lost the pleasure of taking advantage of people for money. However, he knew very well that it was because of her that made him change for the better. Even though he might never see her again in the future, at least the short encounter with her was a godsend for him before he had the chance to engage in major fraud and potentially facing harsher penalties if he was to get caught by the authorities, especially when he heard news of him being a wanted suspect from cities he went before through his friends who also conned people for a living.

Somewhere not far from the store, a woman donning a full-on black office attire was eyeing his movements through the transparent glass walls of the shop as he mopped the floor while waiting for the closing time before he could knock off from work. She could only scoff at the sight.

"It won't be long before you end up in jail, Nakamoto Yuta." Walking away from the minimart, the clacking of the heels was the only sound that reverberated through the hollow pathway.

[toastydoodles]

(Art Blog) | (Twitter) | (Instagram) | (Storenvy)

((Had to get in one last post before the new year!))

I HAD THE MOST STRESSFUL FUN THIS OCTOBER doing these three conventions three weeks in a row, not to mention doing multi-day conventions for the first time! There were ups and downs but I had so much fun and by the end of my con season my brain was utterly fried!!

Thank you so so much to everyone who stopped by, and to those who followed me here sometime in the past couple months: Hello!! Thank you for supporting my art and I hope you enjoy your stay!!

That said, I’m gonna talk a bit about this con season. GET COMFY, ITS LONG

So con prep started in late August when I learned that I actually got into Kumori after having been on their waitlist for a while. I knew then that I REALLY had to kick my ass into gear lol

At this point, I was still in the middle of my 40 hr (+ 12 hr travel time) a week summer internship, so I didn’t have all day to work on my prints until the weekend, but my weekends were usually taken up spending time with loved ones and friends. Or gaming, since I didn’t have the time during the weekdays >_>

Then college came back around, giving me 4 classes, a student job doing graphic design, and club activities + homework! When I thought I’d have more free time, I actually had less! But with cons approaching, I drew more than I would have if I didn’t have cons AND found myself improving when it came to doing prints again.

The biggest issue popped up a week before BCC. LONG story short, I suddenly did not have a button maker to borrow anymore. I weighed my options: either lose money on potential button sales (which made up most of my sales in previous years) and shelf my button designs, or drop $500 on a button maker set to make them in time for Kumori and Jet City. This is also keeping in mind that I might not be able to do too many cons in the future.

I bought the button maker. But, since I am the luckiest daughter in the world, my parents swooped in to pay for it as an early Christmas present. I will be making so many wearable memes with this gift and I am GRATEFUL.

Another issue I ran into the WHOLE MONTH was not being able to take card. I’m forever rejected from Square (tl;dr, my phone glitched during signup and shredded through all the signup attempts I can possibly have. Customer service basically said “welp, sorry!”) and Paypal Here was entirely unhelpful, so I had to go the season as cash only. I won’t actually know how much this hurt sales, but it definitely hurt turning down some big purchases because I was one of the few vendors that didn’t take card!

I’ll definitely be looking into the alternatives for card readers soon! There’s a lot out there.

This year, I kept track of my sales and stock with excel sheets with formulas! It definitely kept things organized and helped me keep track of stock and see where patterns were, if any. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped immensely. I also kept very VERY close track of what my spending was like. 

I’m spoiling it before the end, but I was about $200 from breaking even. Luckily I’m not in a position where this loss impacts significantly, but it still stings! It could have been a result of multiple things, such as the hotel for Kumori being 1/3rd of my expenses ALONE, my choice of products/fandoms, not having ability to take card, and general attendee interest.

Let’s take a brief look at each con!

Bellingham Comicon

Glad to be back!

Bellingham Comicon has once again, been a joy. It’s a small convention but excited attendees pack the place and sales were good. A couple people recognized me from last year and I recognized a couple people too! I didn’t have my button maker yet but perlers seemed to be decently popular. I even made a custom Witch Mercy perler that sold 40 MINUTES INTO THE CONVENTION. It sold so quick that I didn’t even get to take a table picture until after I sold it! (I will say, when I put up that custom Sentai Genji, I upped the price a bit lmao)

I met a lot of amazing artists and got to do a bunch of art trades as well, something I haven’t really done in previous years! I was happy to see a couple familiar faces and meet some new artists too!! BCC is small enough that walking around and chatting to other artists and vendors is on the easier side.

I got a couple weird looks dressed as IT Damien from Dream Daddy, but was glad some people recognized me! I made some first impressions on some very cool artists in that cosplay haHA

While BCC is a comic convention, I didn’t feel out of place. There were lots of attendees that I would consider in my target audience and I didn’t feel like it was taking away from business. BCC is very much a comic and pop culture convention, with fans looking for all sorts of things!

Kumoricon

GOD WHAT AN ADVENTURE

Kumori was my first multi-day convention, and the farthest I’ve travelled for a con! Needless to say, I was anticipating this con since August, but didn’t know AT ALL what to expect.

We ended up driving down on Thursday and setting up that night, which definitely took a lot of the stress away. I also managed to compact my table and merch into a single tote, a print box, a bag to hold the wire cubes, + personal bags for miscellaneous stuff. So that was less stressful too.

Friday came and I was cosplaying Taako (which, as I found out, is 150% more fun to wear than IT Damien oops). The day was on the slower side, and some of my friends came by to say hi and ended up helping out at my table, giving me time to check out the artist alley!

Kumori’s artist alley was HUGE. And even more jarring: so many of the artists I follow on twitter/insta/etc were there. Somehow. Good lord, how many of you live in the PNW that I didn’t know about? I recognized an artist who’s art I love in line while waiting for badges and almost had a heart attack. Over the weekend, I met a lot of artists but it was only a fraction of the entire artist alley. I didn’t even get to meet all the artists I recognized!

So. Profit-wise, the con was kind of a disappointment. Oh boy, here’s a stat: I made about as much at BCC as I did at Kumori. In three days.

Again, this could’ve been a number of things. A lot of artists (many more experienced than me!), general interest, things I chose to sell, etc. But even so, many of the returning artists I talked to said it was slower than last year and some said the con is usually pretty dang slow.

But the con was fantastic in other ways. It gave me valuable big-con experience, some new art friends/mutuals, a fun time at the con and in Portland (good food!), and again, my favorite part, meeting a ton of cool, amazing artists and being able to make some art trades or to buy from them!

I definitely needed rest after this one. My brain was absolutely FRIED by the time we finally got back home and ate a late dinner at Shari’s.

Jet City Comic Show

Not even gonna lie, it was EMPTY most of the weekend!

I ended up having to table by myself, which wasn’t a problem with how lax it was. I even had time to doodle as well as finish a pen drawing! And I live pretty close to the show, so I could just head home once the days ended.

My table neighbor was super cool and I met a bunch of cool artists from all over the artist alley as well! This alley was pretty massive too, so I didn’t get to check out all of them. Being a comic convention, most of the artists were comic-based, with maybe a hand full of anime-styled artist from what I could see.

Many artists had their own published comics, and I enjoyed listening to their pitches (and took some comics home too!!).

My row didn’t seem to get a lot of foot traffic, but neither did the majority of the artist alley. And Sunday was even slower! Talking to other vendors, I found out Jet City is usually slow, but this year was slower than the last.

All in all, it was a nice quiet weekend and I was happy to meet more amazing artists at this con, as well as happy to get home and REST!

Overall...

This season was rewarding. Not in the money way, unfortunately. I’m lucky to be a position where it doesn’t affect me in a major way. But I’m always so excited to go to cons, and just being around fellow fans and creative minds is rewarding in it’s own way. I’ve also learned what to do and what not to do for future conventions should I continue to do them!

the real profit was the artists we met along the way

[easyfoodnetwork]

‘This Is What’s Keeping Our Pantry Full’ | ‘De Esto Mantenemos la Despensa’

The nonprofit No Us Without You feeds more than 1,300 undocumented families in Los Angeles that have been impacted by COVID-19. Here are some of their stories.

It’s said that prep cooks, dishwashers, and bussers are the backbone of the restaurant industry, but when the pandemic arrived, forcing restaurants to shutter, it was these workers who were hardest hit. About 10 percent of restaurant employees in the United States are undocumented immigrants (many studies estimate that number to be much higher); although they pay taxes, with few exceptions, undocumented workers are unable to receive government aid like unemployment benefits. When COVID-19 put them out of work, many were forced to use up savings, and in the worst cases, choose between paying rent or buying food.

As mutual aid efforts sprung up in response nationwide, Los Angeles-based grassroots organization No Us Without You started feeding the families of undocumented restaurant workers. The founders and weekly volunteers, who are all industry veterans, see their efforts as a way to give back to the essential workers that made their own careers possible. (Read more about No Us Without You here.)

Below are some of the stories of these workers, in their own words.

Gaspar, prep cook originally from Oaxaca, Mexico

In Mexico, I didn't cook. I had my parents. They gave me everything. We were not rich, but we always had enough food. In the '80s, you would hear people saying that in the United States, you make good money. People started leaving, and one of them was me. I was quite young, about 17 years old. The first job I had was in a car wash in Encino, and then I started working in a restaurant washing dishes, and eventually learned to cook. I worked for a Chinese company called Chinese Gourmet Express for like 14 years. I was a sous chef. All jobs are tiring, but there are jobs that kill you little by little; cooking is one of them. I'm already 50 years old. That's why I only work as a prep cook now. We are responsible for everything the cooks need. I was working at an American bar and restaurant when the pandemic started. First they cut our hours, and then they closed. To this day, I don't have a formal job. I went out to look for work standing on street corners. I found steady work two or three days a week cleaning a garden and taking care of cars. We've used the little savings we had to pay rent. Anything that we earn goes to rent. My wife's nephew told me he gets food from this organization and we signed up. It's honestly helped a lot because you can't get much with $100 at the market anymore. Everything is expensive. This help is like getting $100 in cash. I have two kids who graduated from college at UC Berkeley. They are working in San Francisco as nurses at a hospital. We are lucky. What we have not been able to accomplish, they have accomplished. We are not accepting help from them, because they have student debt. They have to get out of debt first so they can help us. Yesterday I went to work at a [new] restaurant for the first time. They called me back. I hope they keep me. The government is saying that we [immigrants] are a burden, what a lie! They ignore our productivity. Hispanic people in general are the most cautious, they are the hardest workers. That is the reality in this country, everything is the opposite. For example, in my case, I'm thankful to [No Us Without You] for this great help, but outside of that, I don't get help from anywhere else. We fend for ourselves. We [immigrants] are the backbone of all businesses, not just restaurants. Because if you look at it, Hispanics are in construction, Hispanics are in gardening, Hispanics are in hotels, in the restaurants, fixing the streets, in everything. We are the support nationwide. Hispanics are the pillar of the nation, but it's difficult for that to be recognized. Many people are returning to Mexico. We are thinking of going back too. We have a place to go back to. We built a humble house on the land my parents left me. And I'm planning on starting a business in my small town in Oaxaca. With my age, and the experience that I have living in this country, I realize that this is not living. There comes a time where one can get sick, and what does one have here? The government is not going to help you.

En México, yo no cocinaba. Tenía mis papas. Ellos me daban todo. No éramos ricos pero siempre teníamos suficiente comida. En los 80 se escuchaba que la gente decía que ahí en Estados Unidos se gana bien. Entonces la gente se fue saliendo y uno de ellos fui yo. Estaba bastante joven. Tenía unos 17 años. El primer trabajo que tuve fue un car wash en Encino y después empecé a trabajar en un restaurante. Empecé lavando trastes. Y aprendí a cocinar. Trabajé en una compañía china que se llama Chinese Gourmet Express por como 14 años. Yo era sous chef. Yo digo que todos los trabajos cansan pero hay trabajos que te van matando poco a poco. Ya tengo 50. Por eso yo nada más trabajo en preparación. Nosotros somos responsables de todo lo que ocupan los cocineros. Estaba trabajando en un restaurante y bar americano cuando empezó la pandemia primero. Primero quitaron las horas y después cerraron. Hasta la fecha no he conseguido trabajo formalmente. Salía a buscar trabajo en las esquinas. Con suerte conseguí trabajo dos o tres días a la semana limpiando un jardín y cuidando carros. Para la renta hemos estado agarrando el poquito de ahorro que teníamos. Lo que ganamos se va a la renta. Un sobrino de mi señora me dijo que recibe comida de esta organización. Entonces nos inscribimos. La verdad nos ha servido bastante porque ahorita en el mercado ya no se compra nada con $100. Todo está caro. Es como si me hubieran dado unos $100 en dinero en efectivo. Yo tengo dos hijos graduados en el colegio en Berkeley. Ellos están trabajando allá en San Francisco. Son enfermeros en un hospital. Somos afortunados. Lo que no hemos podido hacer nosotros, lo hicieron ellos. No les estamos aceptando ayuda porque ellos también tienen deuda de la escuela. Tienen que salir de eso para que nos puedan ayudar. Ayer fui a trabajar con un señor, ya me llamó para que empiece en un restaurante. Ojalá que me diga que me quede. El gobierno está diciendo que somos una carga. ¡Qué mentira! Ignoran que somos productivos. La gente hispana en general son los más precavidos, son los más trabajadores. Esa es la realidad en este país, todo es lo contrario. Por ejemplo, en mi caso, estoy agradecido a [No Us Without You] por esta ayuda, pero de ahí yo no agarro una ayuda de ningún otro lado. Nos la buscamos como sea. Nosotros somos la columna vertebral de todos los negocios, no nada más en restaurantes. Porque si lo vemos, el hispano está en la construcción, el hispano está en la jardinería, el hispano está en las hotelerías, en los restaurantes, arreglando las calles, en todo. Somos el soporte a nivel nacional. Los hispanos somos el pilar de la nación, nada más que es muy difícil que se reconozca. Mucha gente está regresando a México. Nosotros ya estamos pensando en irnos. Nosotros tenemos donde llegar. Hemos hecho una casita humildemente en la tierra de los viejos. Yo voy a hacer mi propio negocio. Con la edad que tengo, la experiencia que tengo viviendo en este país, esto no es vida. Llega el momento en que uno se puede enfermar y ¿qué tiene uno? El gobierno no va a respaldar.

José, busser originally from Oaxaca, Mexico

I'm a computer technician. I used to work for the state government in Mexico. As my daughters were growing up, I wanted to give them a better education, and due to the limits of my education, I couldn't get better jobs. The economic situation leads us to migrate. I started working in a restaurant when I arrived 13 years ago. I started as a dishwasher in Bel Air and then as a busser at a luxury restaurant in Santa Monica. I currently work as a busser at an American seafood restaurant in West Hollywood. I also work at a Mexican restaurant in Century City. The truth is, living in Los Angeles with only one job isn't enough. I worked almost full time at both of them, but when the pandemic hit, everything closed. We definitely weren't expecting this. As migrants, we have no income from the government, nothing. I was out of work for four months. A friend told me about an organization that's helping immigrants. So I registered by phone. This has been very helpful to my family and my friends. The food they give us is of good quality, it's not just anything. I use the apple and celery to make green juices. I cut the squash and make it with eggs. The tortillas they give us are delicious. The yogurt I use to make smoothies. We use everything. In July, the restaurants reopened and I started working again, but with fewer hours. I work 25 hours in one restaurant and 25 hours in the other. Before, I worked about 35 hours at each. Working al fresco means being out in the sun. Where I work in West Hollywood we set up in the restaurant parking lot. One person sets the tables and chairs in the morning and we have to put them away at night. I'm 48 years old. It's hard work, but there's no other choice. We depend on businesses staying open. We have to be careful not to spread the infection. Exposing oneself [to COVID-19] is delicate for your health, and it also means not working for at least 15 days. Right now there's talk that things will close again. We'll be out of work again, out of resources. I spent the money I had saved up in those first four months of the pandemic. This pandemic came to depress us, to make us dip into our savings. I have a colleague who wasn't called back. They only called back about 70 percent of the staff. It makes you ask, "Why him and not me?" I always try to better myself and my situation, but work consumes me. In 2010, I took a graphic design course. I bought my computer. I have my accessories. Since I was an IT technician for 30 years, I know computers from top to bottom. I also have my camera and my lenses. I was working with a friend years ago taking wedding photos. I have the equipment in case I go back to Mexico; I can start a photography business there.

Yo soy técnico en computación informática, estuve trabajando en el gobierno estatal en México. Mis hijas venían creciendo; quería darles una mejor educación y mi educación escolar pues me limitaba a obtener mejores puestos. La situación económica nos hace migrar. Yo empecé a trabajar en un restaurante desde que llegué hace 13 años. Me metí a trabajar en un restaurante en Bel Air como dishwasher. Después trabajé en un restaurante de lujo en Santa Mónica de busboy y ya empiezo. Yo trabajo de busboy en un restaurante americano de mariscos en West Hollywood y también trabajo en uno mexicano en Century City. La verdad, vivir en Los Ángeles con solo un trabajo no es suficiente. Yo trabajaba casi full time en los dos y viene esto de la pandemia y todo cerrado. No nos esperábamos esto definitivamente. Como nosotros somos migrantes, no tenemos ingresos por parte del gobierno, nada. Estuve cuatro meses sin trabajo. Un amigo me dijo de una organización que está ayudando a inmigrantes. Entonces me registré por teléfono. Esto ha sido de bastante ayuda para nosotros y para mis amigos. Los alimentos que nos dan son de buena calidad, no son cualquier cosa. La manzana y apio los uso para hacer jugos verdes. El squash la corto y la hago con huevo. La tortilla que nos dan es exquisita. El yogurt para hacer smoothie. Todo se ocupa. En julio se abrieron los restaurantes otra vez y empezamos con pocas horas. Trabajo 25 horas en uno y 25 horas en el otro. Antes trabajaba unas 35 horas en cada lugar. Trabajar al fresco es estar en el sol y por ejemplo en el trabajo donde estoy en West Hollywood estamos trabajando en el parking del restaurante. Una persona pone las mesas y sillas en la mañana y nosotros en la noche las tenemos que meter, todas las noches. Cuesta el trabajo pero tenemos que trabajar. Dependemos de la apertura. Nos tenemos que cuidar para no extender el contagio. Exponerse es delicado para la salud y también significa perder el trabajo por al menos 15 días. Ahorita se está hablando de que probablemente se vuelva a cerrar. Otra vez nos quedamos sin trabajo, nos quedamos sin recursos. Yo mi dinero que tenía ahorrado pues se me fue en esos primeros cuatro meses de la pandemia. Esto nos vino a deprimir, a echar mano en los ahorros. Tengo un compañero que no lo llamaron para trabajar. Llamaron como a un 70 por ciento a trabajar. Dice uno, "¿Por qué a mí no y a él sí Yo trato de superar pero el trabajo me consume. En el 2010 estudié un curso de diseño gráfico. Me compré mi computadora. Tengo mis accesorios, como soy técnico informático de hace 30 años. Entonces conozco la computadora de arriba para abajo. Yo tengo mi cámara fotográfica, mis lentes. Estuve trabajando con una amiga hace años haciendo fotos de bodas. Tengo mi equipo por si regreso a México; puedo trabajar en eso.

Esperanza, lonchera cook originally from Michoacan, Mexico

I came here because in Mexico there isn't much work, and there's a lot of poverty. If it's difficult here, the situation there is worse. I've been working as a cook at a lonchera [food truck] for 16 years. Before that, I worked as a prep cook at another lonchera. My mom taught me to cook. I cook meat for tacos, chicharrones, chicken, tortas, hamburgers. We also make Mexican dishes like chilaquiles, birria, ribs in green salsa with rice and beans. Mexican food sells very well. We drive around where the car dealerships are. Our clients are car salesmen, car washers, secretaries. We also go to two factories. I like my job, but I've been having a lot of knee problems from being on my feet 10 hours a day. This pandemic affected me a lot. I didn't work a single day for three months. I'm back at work now, but instead of working five days a week, I only work two. Sales have fallen because there aren't as many people at the car dealerships. Many car salesmen, car washers, and secretaries were let go. One day I drove by here and saw that there was food being distributed. We submitted an application. We don't miss a week because this is what's keeping our pantry full. It was a big relief because we're not even making enough money to pay the rent. Many people treat you with a lot of racism here, but they should realize that it's because of Latinos that California functions. Because who picks the fruit, the vegetables, all this that they're giving us in this box? Eggs, meat, milk: Who makes it? We Latinos. Many people don't see that. It's a lot of work. They don't see the effort people are making. I have a 22-year-old son who I brought from Mexico five years ago. But my older girl stayed; she had already made her life there. It's been 22 years since I've seen her. When I'm not at work, I dedicate myself to my home. I also sell homemade food to my friends. I make pozole or chiles rellenos or pupusas to earn a little extra money. My job is important to me because I can support my family and I like to see customers leave satisfied and liking the Mexican flavor.

Me vine porque en México no hay mucho trabajo, hay mucha pobreza. Si aquí es difícil, allá está peor. Tengo 16 años trabajando como cocinera en una lonchera. Antes de eso también estaba en una lonchera pero como ayudante picando verdura. Mi mamá me enseñó a cocinar. Yo cocino carne para tacos, chicharrones, pollo, tortas, hamburguesas, todo eso. También hacemos platillos mexicanos como chilaquiles, birria, costillitas en salsa verde con su arroz y su frijol. La comida mexicana es muy bien vendida. Andamos por toda el área de donde están los dealers de carros. Nuestros clientes son vendedores de carro, lavadores de carro, hay secretarias. Vamos también a dos fábricas. Me gusta mi trabajo pero ya he tenido muchos problemas con mis rodillas por estar parada 10 horas al día. La pandemia me afectó mucho. Duré como tres meses sin trabajar ni un día. Ya estoy trabajando otra vez pero en lugar de trabajar los cinco días, solo trabajo dos. Se bajaron las ventas porque en los dealers ya no hay tanta gente. Descansaron muchos vendedores, muchas secretarias, muchos lavadores. Una vez pasamos por aquí y miramos que había distribución de comida. Metimos la aplicación y de ahí no faltamos porque de eso mantenemos la despensa. Nos ha aliviado mucho porque no estamos sacando ni para la renta. Mucha gente te trata con mucho racismo aquí, pero que se pongan a pensar, por nosotros los latinos, es que es California. Porque ¿quién pisca la fruta, la verdura, todo esto que nos están dando? Los huevos, la carne, la leche: ¿Quién lo hace? Nosotros los latinos. Mucha gente no lo ve. Es mucho trabajo. Y no ven el esfuerzo de la gente. Tengo un muchachito de 22 años. Ese me lo traje aquí como hace cinco años. Pero la muchacha ya mayor se quedó; ella ya hizo su vida. Tengo 22 años que no la veo. Cuando no estoy en mi trabajo me dedico a mi hogar. También vendo comida casera a mis amistades. Hago pozole o chiles rellenos o pupusas para ganar un dinerito extra. Para mí es importante mi trabajo porque puedo mantener a mi familia y me gusta ver a los clientes que se vayan satisfechos y que les guste el sazón mexicano.

Maxima, prep cook originally from Chihuahua, Mexico

I learned to cook from life. When I lived in Mexico, I worked in a hotel with a restaurant. I would make the beds and from there I would run down to the restaurant. I would tell the chefs, "Hey, I'll help you clean the beans, I'll help you choose the rice." I watched from afar how the food was being prepared and wrote everything down. Then, I would run home and I would prepare what I learned. Later, the chef saw that he couldn't get rid of me and asked me to be his assistant. He started showing me how to cook, and I said "I found my place." I love cooking. It's my life. I came here because I'm a single mom and my daughter wanted to go to college. How would I pay for it? I had to find a way. I was in New York for 12 years, where I worked at two Burger Kings and a Wendy's as a cook. I came to Los Angeles because my daughter wanted to come here. She had already finished college. I started working at a Burger King here too. Then I worked at [a West Hollywood restaurant] as a prep cook for four years. I would prepare everything they sold at night. All the cook has to do is take out the trays we prepare to finish cooking and then the dish goes to the table. Things are already measured. People don't see the back of house staff who are marginalized. The people in the back do the most work. And we're the ones who receive the least. From there I went to [a restaurant in Downtown LA] where I stayed for another four years until the pandemic started. They let us go because there was no work. I'm now 54 years old. I don't even know how I did it. I lost my car. This one I'm driving is my brother's. I don't spend anything on food. Because everything they [No Us Without You] give us is useful. It helps us a lot. I'll be honest with you: I owe a month's rent because I can't handle everything. There was a time during the pandemic when I went to Dodger Stadium with my daughter to collect cans and we would sell them. That's how we paid the electric bill. Right now, I'm working at a restaurant three days a week making ceviche. I've learned another job! I know that one day I'll tell this story. I'm going to say, "I survived." What I thank God for the most is that I haven't become infected. The most important thing is that your family is united. The downtown restaurant called me to see if they can hire me again. My hobby is food prep, the smell of the vegetables. What I like most is learning new things every day: That's the beauty of a restaurant that always changes menus. I love it there because the chef told me, "You take care of the spices." The basil, thyme, rosemary, all that passed through these little hands. When I finish all my work and I say, "And now what am I going to do for myself?," I take my grandson and I go hiking up a mountain. When he no longer wants to walk, I have to carry him on my back until we get to the top. I try to go out where there aren't many people. I try to find a way to be myself. My dream is to set up a stall and sell ceviches. I would love that; it's my most precious dream. But it's just a dream.

Yo aprendí a cocinar de la vida. Cuando vivía en México, trabajé en un hotel con un restaurante. Yo arreglaba las camas y de ahí bajaba corriendo al restaurante. Les decía a los chefs, "Oye te ayudo a limpiar frijoles, yo te ayudo a escoger el arroz". Veía de lejos como preparaban la comida y apuntaba todo. Me iba corriendo para mi casa y yo preparaba lo que aprendía. Ya después vio el chef que no me podía sacar de la cocina y me preguntó si quería ser su ayudante. Él empezó a enseñarme la cocina y dije "De aquí soy". Me encanta la cocina. Esa es mi vida. Yo me vine aquí porque soy mamá soltera y mi hija quería sacar su universidad y ¿de dónde yo sacaba? Tenía que buscarle. Estuve en Nueva York 12 años. Trabajaba como cocinera en dos Burger Kings y un Wendy's. Me vine para Los Ángeles porque mi hija quería venirse. Ya había terminado la universidad. Empecé a trabajar en un Burger King aquí también. Después trabajé en un restaurante de West Hollywood como preparadora por cuatro años. Preparaba todo lo que vendían en la noche. El cocinero nada más saca de los trays que le ponemos nosotros para terminar de cocinar y va para la mesa. Ya están medidas las cosas. La gente no ve que los trabajadores de atrás son marginados. Las personas que están atrás son las que más hacen el trabajo. Y somos los que menos recibimos. Despues me fui a [un restaurante en el centro de Los Ángeles] donde estuve otros cuatro años hasta que empezó la pandemia. Nos despidieron a todos porque no había trabajo. Yo tengo ahorita 54 años. Ni yo sé cómo lo hice. Perdí el carro. Este carro es de mi hermano. No gasto nada en comida. Porque todo lo que ellos [No Us Without You] me dan me sirve. Nos ayuda mucho. Ahorita no te voy a mentir: debo un mes de renta porque no puedo con todo. Hubo una temporada durante la pandemia que me iba al estadio de los Dodgers con mi hija a recoger botes y los vendíamos. Con eso pagamos la luz. Ahorita voy a un restaurante, ahí me dan tres días de trabajo como cevichera. ¡Ya aprendí otro trabajo más! Yo sé que un día voy a contar esto. Voy a decir, "Sobreviví". Y lo que le doy más gracias a Dios es que no me he contagiado de nada. Lo principal es que tu familia esté unida. Ahorita me llamaron del restaurante en el centro para ver si me vuelven a contratar. Mi hobby es la preparación, el olor a las verduras. Lo que más me gusta es cada día aprender cosas. Eso es lo bonito de un restaurante que siempre cambia los menús. Me encantaba ese restaurante porque el chef me decía a mí, "Tú te encargas de los olores". La albahaca, el tomillo, el rosemary, todo eso pasaba por estas manitas. Cuando ya termino toda mi labor y digo, "¿Y ahora que voy a hacer para mí?", me llevo a mi nieto y me voy al cerro a caminar. Donde él ya no quiere caminar tengo que cargarlo en la espalda hasta que llegamos arriba. Trato la manera de salir donde no hay mucha gente. Trato la manera de ser yo. Mi sueño es poner un local y vender ceviches. Me encantaría; es mi sueño adorado. Pero eso es un sueño nada más.

Samanta Helou Hernandez is a multimedia journalist and photographer based in LA covering culture, identity, and social issues. Copy edited by Emily Safrin

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The nonprofit No Us Without You feeds more than 1,300 undocumented families in Los Angeles that have been impacted by COVID-19. Here are some of their stories.

It’s said that prep cooks, dishwashers, and bussers are the backbone of the restaurant industry, but when the pandemic arrived, forcing restaurants to shutter, it was these workers who were hardest hit. About 10 percent of restaurant employees in the United States are undocumented immigrants (many studies estimate that number to be much higher); although they pay taxes, with few exceptions, undocumented workers are unable to receive government aid like unemployment benefits. When COVID-19 put them out of work, many were forced to use up savings, and in the worst cases, choose between paying rent or buying food.

As mutual aid efforts sprung up in response nationwide, Los Angeles-based grassroots organization No Us Without You started feeding the families of undocumented restaurant workers. The founders and weekly volunteers, who are all industry veterans, see their efforts as a way to give back to the essential workers that made their own careers possible. (Read more about No Us Without You here.)

Below are some of the stories of these workers, in their own words.

Gaspar, prep cook originally from Oaxaca, Mexico

In Mexico, I didn't cook. I had my parents. They gave me everything. We were not rich, but we always had enough food. In the '80s, you would hear people saying that in the United States, you make good money. People started leaving, and one of them was me. I was quite young, about 17 years old. The first job I had was in a car wash in Encino, and then I started working in a restaurant washing dishes, and eventually learned to cook. I worked for a Chinese company called Chinese Gourmet Express for like 14 years. I was a sous chef. All jobs are tiring, but there are jobs that kill you little by little; cooking is one of them. I'm already 50 years old. That's why I only work as a prep cook now. We are responsible for everything the cooks need. I was working at an American bar and restaurant when the pandemic started. First they cut our hours, and then they closed. To this day, I don't have a formal job. I went out to look for work standing on street corners. I found steady work two or three days a week cleaning a garden and taking care of cars. We've used the little savings we had to pay rent. Anything that we earn goes to rent. My wife's nephew told me he gets food from this organization and we signed up. It's honestly helped a lot because you can't get much with $100 at the market anymore. Everything is expensive. This help is like getting $100 in cash. I have two kids who graduated from college at UC Berkeley. They are working in San Francisco as nurses at a hospital. We are lucky. What we have not been able to accomplish, they have accomplished. We are not accepting help from them, because they have student debt. They have to get out of debt first so they can help us. Yesterday I went to work at a [new] restaurant for the first time. They called me back. I hope they keep me. The government is saying that we [immigrants] are a burden, what a lie! They ignore our productivity. Hispanic people in general are the most cautious, they are the hardest workers. That is the reality in this country, everything is the opposite. For example, in my case, I'm thankful to [No Us Without You] for this great help, but outside of that, I don't get help from anywhere else. We fend for ourselves. We [immigrants] are the backbone of all businesses, not just restaurants. Because if you look at it, Hispanics are in construction, Hispanics are in gardening, Hispanics are in hotels, in the restaurants, fixing the streets, in everything. We are the support nationwide. Hispanics are the pillar of the nation, but it's difficult for that to be recognized. Many people are returning to Mexico. We are thinking of going back too. We have a place to go back to. We built a humble house on the land my parents left me. And I'm planning on starting a business in my small town in Oaxaca. With my age, and the experience that I have living in this country, I realize that this is not living. There comes a time where one can get sick, and what does one have here? The government is not going to help you.

En México, yo no cocinaba. Tenía mis papas. Ellos me daban todo. No éramos ricos pero siempre teníamos suficiente comida. En los 80 se escuchaba que la gente decía que ahí en Estados Unidos se gana bien. Entonces la gente se fue saliendo y uno de ellos fui yo. Estaba bastante joven. Tenía unos 17 años. El primer trabajo que tuve fue un car wash en Encino y después empecé a trabajar en un restaurante. Empecé lavando trastes. Y aprendí a cocinar. Trabajé en una compañía china que se llama Chinese Gourmet Express por como 14 años. Yo era sous chef. Yo digo que todos los trabajos cansan pero hay trabajos que te van matando poco a poco. Ya tengo 50. Por eso yo nada más trabajo en preparación. Nosotros somos responsables de todo lo que ocupan los cocineros. Estaba trabajando en un restaurante y bar americano cuando empezó la pandemia primero. Primero quitaron las horas y después cerraron. Hasta la fecha no he conseguido trabajo formalmente. Salía a buscar trabajo en las esquinas. Con suerte conseguí trabajo dos o tres días a la semana limpiando un jardín y cuidando carros. Para la renta hemos estado agarrando el poquito de ahorro que teníamos. Lo que ganamos se va a la renta. Un sobrino de mi señora me dijo que recibe comida de esta organización. Entonces nos inscribimos. La verdad nos ha servido bastante porque ahorita en el mercado ya no se compra nada con $100. Todo está caro. Es como si me hubieran dado unos $100 en dinero en efectivo. Yo tengo dos hijos graduados en el colegio en Berkeley. Ellos están trabajando allá en San Francisco. Son enfermeros en un hospital. Somos afortunados. Lo que no hemos podido hacer nosotros, lo hicieron ellos. No les estamos aceptando ayuda porque ellos también tienen deuda de la escuela. Tienen que salir de eso para que nos puedan ayudar. Ayer fui a trabajar con un señor, ya me llamó para que empiece en un restaurante. Ojalá que me diga que me quede. El gobierno está diciendo que somos una carga. ¡Qué mentira! Ignoran que somos productivos. La gente hispana en general son los más precavidos, son los más trabajadores. Esa es la realidad en este país, todo es lo contrario. Por ejemplo, en mi caso, estoy agradecido a [No Us Without You] por esta ayuda, pero de ahí yo no agarro una ayuda de ningún otro lado. Nos la buscamos como sea. Nosotros somos la columna vertebral de todos los negocios, no nada más en restaurantes. Porque si lo vemos, el hispano está en la construcción, el hispano está en la jardinería, el hispano está en las hotelerías, en los restaurantes, arreglando las calles, en todo. Somos el soporte a nivel nacional. Los hispanos somos el pilar de la nación, nada más que es muy difícil que se reconozca. Mucha gente está regresando a México. Nosotros ya estamos pensando en irnos. Nosotros tenemos donde llegar. Hemos hecho una casita humildemente en la tierra de los viejos. Yo voy a hacer mi propio negocio. Con la edad que tengo, la experiencia que tengo viviendo en este país, esto no es vida. Llega el momento en que uno se puede enfermar y ¿qué tiene uno? El gobierno no va a respaldar.

José, busser originally from Oaxaca, Mexico

I'm a computer technician. I used to work for the state government in Mexico. As my daughters were growing up, I wanted to give them a better education, and due to the limits of my education, I couldn't get better jobs. The economic situation leads us to migrate. I started working in a restaurant when I arrived 13 years ago. I started as a dishwasher in Bel Air and then as a busser at a luxury restaurant in Santa Monica. I currently work as a busser at an American seafood restaurant in West Hollywood. I also work at a Mexican restaurant in Century City. The truth is, living in Los Angeles with only one job isn't enough. I worked almost full time at both of them, but when the pandemic hit, everything closed. We definitely weren't expecting this. As migrants, we have no income from the government, nothing. I was out of work for four months. A friend told me about an organization that's helping immigrants. So I registered by phone. This has been very helpful to my family and my friends. The food they give us is of good quality, it's not just anything. I use the apple and celery to make green juices. I cut the squash and make it with eggs. The tortillas they give us are delicious. The yogurt I use to make smoothies. We use everything. In July, the restaurants reopened and I started working again, but with fewer hours. I work 25 hours in one restaurant and 25 hours in the other. Before, I worked about 35 hours at each. Working al fresco means being out in the sun. Where I work in West Hollywood we set up in the restaurant parking lot. One person sets the tables and chairs in the morning and we have to put them away at night. I'm 48 years old. It's hard work, but there's no other choice. We depend on businesses staying open. We have to be careful not to spread the infection. Exposing oneself [to COVID-19] is delicate for your health, and it also means not working for at least 15 days. Right now there's talk that things will close again. We'll be out of work again, out of resources. I spent the money I had saved up in those first four months of the pandemic. This pandemic came to depress us, to make us dip into our savings. I have a colleague who wasn't called back. They only called back about 70 percent of the staff. It makes you ask, "Why him and not me?" I always try to better myself and my situation, but work consumes me. In 2010, I took a graphic design course. I bought my computer. I have my accessories. Since I was an IT technician for 30 years, I know computers from top to bottom. I also have my camera and my lenses. I was working with a friend years ago taking wedding photos. I have the equipment in case I go back to Mexico; I can start a photography business there.

Yo soy técnico en computación informática, estuve trabajando en el gobierno estatal en México. Mis hijas venían creciendo; quería darles una mejor educación y mi educación escolar pues me limitaba a obtener mejores puestos. La situación económica nos hace migrar. Yo empecé a trabajar en un restaurante desde que llegué hace 13 años. Me metí a trabajar en un restaurante en Bel Air como dishwasher. Después trabajé en un restaurante de lujo en Santa Mónica de busboy y ya empiezo. Yo trabajo de busboy en un restaurante americano de mariscos en West Hollywood y también trabajo en uno mexicano en Century City. La verdad, vivir en Los Ángeles con solo un trabajo no es suficiente. Yo trabajaba casi full time en los dos y viene esto de la pandemia y todo cerrado. No nos esperábamos esto definitivamente. Como nosotros somos migrantes, no tenemos ingresos por parte del gobierno, nada. Estuve cuatro meses sin trabajo. Un amigo me dijo de una organización que está ayudando a inmigrantes. Entonces me registré por teléfono. Esto ha sido de bastante ayuda para nosotros y para mis amigos. Los alimentos que nos dan son de buena calidad, no son cualquier cosa. La manzana y apio los uso para hacer jugos verdes. El squash la corto y la hago con huevo. La tortilla que nos dan es exquisita. El yogurt para hacer smoothie. Todo se ocupa. En julio se abrieron los restaurantes otra vez y empezamos con pocas horas. Trabajo 25 horas en uno y 25 horas en el otro. Antes trabajaba unas 35 horas en cada lugar. Trabajar al fresco es estar en el sol y por ejemplo en el trabajo donde estoy en West Hollywood estamos trabajando en el parking del restaurante. Una persona pone las mesas y sillas en la mañana y nosotros en la noche las tenemos que meter, todas las noches. Cuesta el trabajo pero tenemos que trabajar. Dependemos de la apertura. Nos tenemos que cuidar para no extender el contagio. Exponerse es delicado para la salud y también significa perder el trabajo por al menos 15 días. Ahorita se está hablando de que probablemente se vuelva a cerrar. Otra vez nos quedamos sin trabajo, nos quedamos sin recursos. Yo mi dinero que tenía ahorrado pues se me fue en esos primeros cuatro meses de la pandemia. Esto nos vino a deprimir, a echar mano en los ahorros. Tengo un compañero que no lo llamaron para trabajar. Llamaron como a un 70 por ciento a trabajar. Dice uno, "¿Por qué a mí no y a él sí Yo trato de superar pero el trabajo me consume. En el 2010 estudié un curso de diseño gráfico. Me compré mi computadora. Tengo mis accesorios, como soy técnico informático de hace 30 años. Entonces conozco la computadora de arriba para abajo. Yo tengo mi cámara fotográfica, mis lentes. Estuve trabajando con una amiga hace años haciendo fotos de bodas. Tengo mi equipo por si regreso a México; puedo trabajar en eso.

Esperanza, lonchera cook originally from Michoacan, Mexico

I came here because in Mexico there isn't much work, and there's a lot of poverty. If it's difficult here, the situation there is worse. I've been working as a cook at a lonchera [food truck] for 16 years. Before that, I worked as a prep cook at another lonchera. My mom taught me to cook. I cook meat for tacos, chicharrones, chicken, tortas, hamburgers. We also make Mexican dishes like chilaquiles, birria, ribs in green salsa with rice and beans. Mexican food sells very well. We drive around where the car dealerships are. Our clients are car salesmen, car washers, secretaries. We also go to two factories. I like my job, but I've been having a lot of knee problems from being on my feet 10 hours a day. This pandemic affected me a lot. I didn't work a single day for three months. I'm back at work now, but instead of working five days a week, I only work two. Sales have fallen because there aren't as many people at the car dealerships. Many car salesmen, car washers, and secretaries were let go. One day I drove by here and saw that there was food being distributed. We submitted an application. We don't miss a week because this is what's keeping our pantry full. It was a big relief because we're not even making enough money to pay the rent. Many people treat you with a lot of racism here, but they should realize that it's because of Latinos that California functions. Because who picks the fruit, the vegetables, all this that they're giving us in this box? Eggs, meat, milk: Who makes it? We Latinos. Many people don't see that. It's a lot of work. They don't see the effort people are making. I have a 22-year-old son who I brought from Mexico five years ago. But my older girl stayed; she had already made her life there. It's been 22 years since I've seen her. When I'm not at work, I dedicate myself to my home. I also sell homemade food to my friends. I make pozole or chiles rellenos or pupusas to earn a little extra money. My job is important to me because I can support my family and I like to see customers leave satisfied and liking the Mexican flavor.

Me vine porque en México no hay mucho trabajo, hay mucha pobreza. Si aquí es difícil, allá está peor. Tengo 16 años trabajando como cocinera en una lonchera. Antes de eso también estaba en una lonchera pero como ayudante picando verdura. Mi mamá me enseñó a cocinar. Yo cocino carne para tacos, chicharrones, pollo, tortas, hamburguesas, todo eso. También hacemos platillos mexicanos como chilaquiles, birria, costillitas en salsa verde con su arroz y su frijol. La comida mexicana es muy bien vendida. Andamos por toda el área de donde están los dealers de carros. Nuestros clientes son vendedores de carro, lavadores de carro, hay secretarias. Vamos también a dos fábricas. Me gusta mi trabajo pero ya he tenido muchos problemas con mis rodillas por estar parada 10 horas al día. La pandemia me afectó mucho. Duré como tres meses sin trabajar ni un día. Ya estoy trabajando otra vez pero en lugar de trabajar los cinco días, solo trabajo dos. Se bajaron las ventas porque en los dealers ya no hay tanta gente. Descansaron muchos vendedores, muchas secretarias, muchos lavadores. Una vez pasamos por aquí y miramos que había distribución de comida. Metimos la aplicación y de ahí no faltamos porque de eso mantenemos la despensa. Nos ha aliviado mucho porque no estamos sacando ni para la renta. Mucha gente te trata con mucho racismo aquí, pero que se pongan a pensar, por nosotros los latinos, es que es California. Porque ¿quién pisca la fruta, la verdura, todo esto que nos están dando? Los huevos, la carne, la leche: ¿Quién lo hace? Nosotros los latinos. Mucha gente no lo ve. Es mucho trabajo. Y no ven el esfuerzo de la gente. Tengo un muchachito de 22 años. Ese me lo traje aquí como hace cinco años. Pero la muchacha ya mayor se quedó; ella ya hizo su vida. Tengo 22 años que no la veo. Cuando no estoy en mi trabajo me dedico a mi hogar. También vendo comida casera a mis amistades. Hago pozole o chiles rellenos o pupusas para ganar un dinerito extra. Para mí es importante mi trabajo porque puedo mantener a mi familia y me gusta ver a los clientes que se vayan satisfechos y que les guste el sazón mexicano.

Maxima, prep cook originally from Chihuahua, Mexico

I learned to cook from life. When I lived in Mexico, I worked in a hotel with a restaurant. I would make the beds and from there I would run down to the restaurant. I would tell the chefs, "Hey, I'll help you clean the beans, I'll help you choose the rice." I watched from afar how the food was being prepared and wrote everything down. Then, I would run home and I would prepare what I learned. Later, the chef saw that he couldn't get rid of me and asked me to be his assistant. He started showing me how to cook, and I said "I found my place." I love cooking. It's my life. I came here because I'm a single mom and my daughter wanted to go to college. How would I pay for it? I had to find a way. I was in New York for 12 years, where I worked at two Burger Kings and a Wendy's as a cook. I came to Los Angeles because my daughter wanted to come here. She had already finished college. I started working at a Burger King here too. Then I worked at [a West Hollywood restaurant] as a prep cook for four years. I would prepare everything they sold at night. All the cook has to do is take out the trays we prepare to finish cooking and then the dish goes to the table. Things are already measured. People don't see the back of house staff who are marginalized. The people in the back do the most work. And we're the ones who receive the least. From there I went to [a restaurant in Downtown LA] where I stayed for another four years until the pandemic started. They let us go because there was no work. I'm now 54 years old. I don't even know how I did it. I lost my car. This one I'm driving is my brother's. I don't spend anything on food. Because everything they [No Us Without You] give us is useful. It helps us a lot. I'll be honest with you: I owe a month's rent because I can't handle everything. There was a time during the pandemic when I went to Dodger Stadium with my daughter to collect cans and we would sell them. That's how we paid the electric bill. Right now, I'm working at a restaurant three days a week making ceviche. I've learned another job! I know that one day I'll tell this story. I'm going to say, "I survived." What I thank God for the most is that I haven't become infected. The most important thing is that your family is united. The downtown restaurant called me to see if they can hire me again. My hobby is food prep, the smell of the vegetables. What I like most is learning new things every day: That's the beauty of a restaurant that always changes menus. I love it there because the chef told me, "You take care of the spices." The basil, thyme, rosemary, all that passed through these little hands. When I finish all my work and I say, "And now what am I going to do for myself?," I take my grandson and I go hiking up a mountain. When he no longer wants to walk, I have to carry him on my back until we get to the top. I try to go out where there aren't many people. I try to find a way to be myself. My dream is to set up a stall and sell ceviches. I would love that; it's my most precious dream. But it's just a dream.

Yo aprendí a cocinar de la vida. Cuando vivía en México, trabajé en un hotel con un restaurante. Yo arreglaba las camas y de ahí bajaba corriendo al restaurante. Les decía a los chefs, "Oye te ayudo a limpiar frijoles, yo te ayudo a escoger el arroz". Veía de lejos como preparaban la comida y apuntaba todo. Me iba corriendo para mi casa y yo preparaba lo que aprendía. Ya después vio el chef que no me podía sacar de la cocina y me preguntó si quería ser su ayudante. Él empezó a enseñarme la cocina y dije "De aquí soy". Me encanta la cocina. Esa es mi vida. Yo me vine aquí porque soy mamá soltera y mi hija quería sacar su universidad y ¿de dónde yo sacaba? Tenía que buscarle. Estuve en Nueva York 12 años. Trabajaba como cocinera en dos Burger Kings y un Wendy's. Me vine para Los Ángeles porque mi hija quería venirse. Ya había terminado la universidad. Empecé a trabajar en un Burger King aquí también. Después trabajé en un restaurante de West Hollywood como preparadora por cuatro años. Preparaba todo lo que vendían en la noche. El cocinero nada más saca de los trays que le ponemos nosotros para terminar de cocinar y va para la mesa. Ya están medidas las cosas. La gente no ve que los trabajadores de atrás son marginados. Las personas que están atrás son las que más hacen el trabajo. Y somos los que menos recibimos. Despues me fui a [un restaurante en el centro de Los Ángeles] donde estuve otros cuatro años hasta que empezó la pandemia. Nos despidieron a todos porque no había trabajo. Yo tengo ahorita 54 años. Ni yo sé cómo lo hice. Perdí el carro. Este carro es de mi hermano. No gasto nada en comida. Porque todo lo que ellos [No Us Without You] me dan me sirve. Nos ayuda mucho. Ahorita no te voy a mentir: debo un mes de renta porque no puedo con todo. Hubo una temporada durante la pandemia que me iba al estadio de los Dodgers con mi hija a recoger botes y los vendíamos. Con eso pagamos la luz. Ahorita voy a un restaurante, ahí me dan tres días de trabajo como cevichera. ¡Ya aprendí otro trabajo más! Yo sé que un día voy a contar esto. Voy a decir, "Sobreviví". Y lo que le doy más gracias a Dios es que no me he contagiado de nada. Lo principal es que tu familia esté unida. Ahorita me llamaron del restaurante en el centro para ver si me vuelven a contratar. Mi hobby es la preparación, el olor a las verduras. Lo que más me gusta es cada día aprender cosas. Eso es lo bonito de un restaurante que siempre cambia los menús. Me encantaba ese restaurante porque el chef me decía a mí, "Tú te encargas de los olores". La albahaca, el tomillo, el rosemary, todo eso pasaba por estas manitas. Cuando ya termino toda mi labor y digo, "¿Y ahora que voy a hacer para mí?", me llevo a mi nieto y me voy al cerro a caminar. Donde él ya no quiere caminar tengo que cargarlo en la espalda hasta que llegamos arriba. Trato la manera de salir donde no hay mucha gente. Trato la manera de ser yo. Mi sueño es poner un local y vender ceviches. Me encantaría; es mi sueño adorado. Pero eso es un sueño nada más.

Samanta Helou Hernandez is a multimedia journalist and photographer based in LA covering culture, identity, and social issues. Copy edited by Emily Safrin

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Cosplacon 2017 Con Report

 Okay, so, I’ve just spent the last few days at Cosplacon.  It’s a fairly small event (compared to the likes of Dragoncon, etc), but it is so much fun.  Maybe because it’s so small, it has a really great atmosphere.  It’s also pretty much the only con in town, as it were, unless you want to make the trip out to either Saint Louis or Kansas City.  (Mind you, there were attendees who came from Topeka, which is realy impressive.)  This is my third year attending this con (any con, in fact), and the first time I’d stayed for the whole thing. 

DAY ONE

Thursday was interesting, because (as some may know) I have been gearing up for a move, and that move took place on Thursday morning.  So, I’d spent the first half of the week frantically packing and boxing and getting things ready, and Thursday morning was spent trying to get stuff loaded into the new place so my parents would have less to do when the time came to unpack.  (Yes, i live with and help take care of my parents, who are both disabled to one degree or another.  They encouraged me to attend the con, because I pretty much spend all my time working either at my job or at home, and need a break to do something for myself.)  So, when the time came to leave, I was sweaty and dirty and desperate for a cold shower.  (June in Missouri is no fun.)  Once I was feeling relatively human again (though still kinda tired) I donned my Rocket grunt costume from last year and joined the festivities. 

The con has a Pokemon League (strictly for fun, not an official Pokemon Company thing), and I registered my team for that.  It’s pretty cool.  The folks running it do it as a labor of love, and it really shows.  Not only do they spend their own money printing trainer cards and making gym badges, they created a region with lore and even a *soundtrack*.  I tried to do the “story mode” challenge, but got flattened by the Flying-Type leader in my second match, so then it just became trying to get as many badges as possible.  I’m not super knowledgable when it comes to competitive play, because I don’t really do much of that sort of thing, but I did put together a pretty solid team.  I might do a separate post about that later.  Maybe.  Meh. 

Every year, the con also does a sort of scavenger hunt, with little stuff scattered throughout the hotel.  Collect all these “achievements” and you win...something.  I think it’s a pass for next year.  I probably could have done it this year, but I chose to spend most of my time between specific events hanging out with the Pokemon League crew.  Some of the achievements included finding the key to the TARDIS, Facehugger eggs, and the stones from the Fifth Element.  (This being the fifth year of the con, there was a Fifth Element theme.)

There weren’t a ton of events that first night, but I did catch the Iron Cosplay competition (teams are given a collection of random pieces out of which to create a costume and character backstory), which was a lot of fun.  I kind of wished I could have attended some of the panels hosted by the Egg Sisters on Prosthetics and Make-up, because I think that kind of thing is really fascinating, and they are amazing at it.  I didn’t rally go much into the game room, where there were Smash Bros tournaments and things like that.  Most of the gaming stuff I did was just playing Pokemon.  After Iron Cosplay was the Welcome Party, which was also a lot of fun.  After that, I hit the sack.  There’s usually some kind of dance party or other kind of late night hootenanny, but I’d been up since 5 am and was exhausted.

Turns out that would be a running theme.  Not only were the people in the next room pretty rowdy (I think they were teenagers out on their own for the first time), but my room was directly adjacent to one of the maintenance/cleaning closets, so I got to hear all the banging and thumping of the door and housekeeping carts. 

As a sidenote: If a hotel room door is locked, STOP TRYING TO GET IN.  Also?  Instructions for the damn shower would be nice. 

DAY TWO

After waking up WAY too early, I finish up my Janky McCree cosplay (which I should have gotten a picture of before it all fell apart) I headed down to the League and did a bit of battling before leaving for the Q&A with Eric Stuart--the voice actor for James and Brock of Pokemon, among others.  It was enjoyable and informational, but I think a lot of us kinda blanked when the opportunity arose to ask questions, and the majority of questions came from the same handful of people.  He struck me as a really cool guy, though. 

I would have liked to go to the Marvel vs DC Round Table or the panel on samurai swords by Samurai Dan, , but I opted to go to the Q&A instead.,  That happened a lot.  Like, a lot of the events that I wanted to attend were scheduled at the same time, while other times, there were stretches where nothing really jumped out and said COME TO ME.  I kinda wanted to go to the Cosplay Runway, which was a non-competitive costume parade of sorts, but I wasn’t too happy with my McCree cosplay and also wanted to keep challenging gym leaders.  I definitely wanted to go to the Harry Potter round table, but things with the Pokemon League took longer than expected, and I missed half of it.  That was okay, though, because I still had fun.  And if you’re enjoying what you’re doing, that’s what’s important, right?  Also, it’s important to schedule time for things like food.  So you don’t, like, die. 

That even was the cosplay skits.  They’re usually good, but this year, they were AWESOME.  I tried recording everything, but I did end up missing a couple because I had to run up to my room and grab my phone charger.  I did miss a dance number I hope someone recorded and will post to youtube or something, but the other skit, I wasn’t too upset about missing, mostly because the guy doing it was a creep who’d caused problems with the League crew, and wouldn’t have been very entertaining anyway.  There were dance numbers, musical performances, short dramatic skits, a HILARIOUS Gothic Lolita presentation (”SQUAT!!! Wigglewigglewigglewiggle!  CRRRRRROOOOUUUCH!!!”) and a couple of girls tossing inventive shade at each other, which I kept expecting to turn into a number from Wicked.  Normally, the winner of the skit competition wins a pass for next year, but there were so many awesome skits, the judges decided to award one to everybody (including that creepy guy, but they couldn’t very well say “Everyone but you). 

Following that was a really fun Avatar: The Last Airbender discussion.  I kiiiinda wanted to go to the Fifth Element Ball afterwards, but I was feeling pretty shy about jumping into a dance party, seeing as I dance like a parody of a white guy, so I hung out with the League and got some food. 

Then, so friends of mine from work showed up and we wondered about a bit, taking in the sights before deciding to go to the drag show, which was a lot of fun.  I did have to explain to my friends what a drag king was.  They had an intermission, and I kinda wanted to stay for the rest, and I kinda wanted to go do karaoke, but it was near midnight already and I was bushed.  So, I said goodnight and tied again to get some sleep, getting only nominal success. 

DAY THREE

I finished up my Guzma costume after getting Not Enough Sleep.  By the way, I nearly blinded myself twice putting on eyeliner.  There wasn’t a whole lot grabbing my attention as far as morning events, but I did have fun battling with other Pokemon trainers and just walking about taking pictures and even getting my picture taken.  I was really bummed, though, that a lot of the attendees who did Team Skull grunt cosplays weren’t doing them that day, because I would have LOVED to get a picture with as many Team Skull peeps as possible.  I did attend a need panel on digital art, hosted by the head of the con, Rodney. 

After that was a Pokemon Speed Training tournament.  basically, each person was traded three random level one pokemon and we were given an hour to train them up as much as possible, before facing each other in 3v3 battles. I ended up with a Klefki, a Corsola and a standard Grimer.  i wasn’t too terribly happy, but I figured I would give it a shot.  (Again, I’m not a super competitive player, but even I knew Corsola wasn’t super viable for competition.)  And I actually managed to get to the final two!  Unfortunately, my opponent had a well trained Golem and one-shotted everyone on my team with Earthquake.  But I had fun! 

Again, not a whole lot scheduled after that which grabbed my attention, so, more hanging out before heading in to the Cosplay Royale.  The Cosplay Royal is the big cosplay competition, with professional judges and everything.  There were some AWESOME cosplays in this one, though not as many entrants as there were last year, if i’m remembering things correctly.  But the quality of the costumes were so good, they added a couple categories. 

After that, Eric Stuart gave an acoustic concert, and I got a signed CD.  I’m always a little leery when someone says they’re Also A Musician, because a LOT of people are Also A Musician, but he was actually really good.  There was one slightly obnoxious guy who tended to talk through the performance, and not super quietly, either.  After that, I wanted to go to the Dance Party or even the Cosplay Burlesque, but I reeeally needed food and sleep.  Which Brings us to...

DAY FOUR. 

Today!  I got a little more sleep this morning, despite there being a HUGE thunderstorm crashing around outside.  No cosplay today, just dressing comfortably.  Everyone was pretty low-energy today compared to the previous few days.  I think there were a lot of hangovers, and the accumulative effects of Not Enough Sleep.  Even Rodney, the head of the con, aka “The Green Flash”, was subdued.  There was the Father’s Day brunch and the Pokemon Carnival, where everyone got the chance to battle the League again, but not a lot else.  Most people were gearing up to leave before checkout at 11.  I did actually get all eight badges, but didn’t succeed in challenging the elite four.  Then came the closing ceremony, after which people basically headed out.  The hotel is pretty empty right now, and I enjoyed a nice long nap.  I will probably sleep better tonight and be in a pretty good state when I leave tomorrow, which is good, because I still have basically unpack all my crap at the new house. 

[marilynngmesalo]

‘EVERYTHING WAS A LIE’: Duped women go after charming alleged con man

‘EVERYTHING WAS A LIE’: Duped women go after charming alleged con man ‘EVERYTHING WAS A LIE’: Duped women go after charming alleged con man https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

It started with a chance encounter in a coffee shop. He was charming and attractive, and everything he said mirrored her life.

The relationship developed into a romance but the seduction ended months later in apparent deception, an elaborate scheme by an alleged serial con man to whom she lost thousands of dollars.

“Everything he said to me was a lie,” says Andrea Speranza, an athletic 49-year-old with long brown hair. “I couldn’t understand how he could make love to me with the sole purpose of ripping me off.”

She has since found multiple alleged victims of Marcel Andre Vautour, a man with a criminal record, warrants for his arrest and several aliases.

His suspected victims say he targets busy career women between the ages of 45 and 50, leaving a trail of broken hearts and empty bank accounts across the country.

The Canadian Press has spoken with three women across the country who say they fell victim to his romantic schemes, and one man who was promised a job and ended up losing tens of thousands of dollars. Each alleged victim has positively identified photos of the same person.

Vautour did not respond to requests for comment by phone, email or social media. None of the new allegations against him have been proven in court.

Speranza says she’s sharing her story to prevent more people from falling victim to his alleged scams.

“I want to stop him from hurting more people,” Speranza says. “I’m going to catch a criminal.”

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Originally from Ontario, Speranza had a hardscrabble childhood.

Despite her hard upbringing, she graduated from university and moved to Nova Scotia, where she became a firefighter and one of the first female captains in Halifax.

Speranza has dedicated her life to helping others, running an award-winning camp that educates girls about emergency services careers.

When she met a man who called himself March Hebert last summer, they seemed like kindred spirits.

He told her a story about his difficult family life, saying his parents struggled with addictions. But he turned his life around, worked on offshore oil rigs, and purchased hundreds of acres in rural Nova Scotia to build a youth-at-risk facility.

“It was almost like everything about my life he was saying back to me,” Speranza says.

She says she now realizes it wasn’t a chance encounter. He targeted her, she says, using a well-honed script and asking pointed questions to develop a plan.

It started off very casually — she wasn’t looking for a relationship. But she was attracted to his desire to help youth and to give back to the community.

The five-foot-eight, 185-pound man with green eyes and a disarming smile eventually persuaded her to hang out. They went hiking and kayaking, and attended charity events.

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He told her she was beautiful. She made him a better person. She was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was falling hard and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

“Everything was just perfect,” she says. “He was super accommodating and helpful and complimentary. Nothing I could say or do was wrong.”

Speranza now believes he targeted her to invest in his apparently fabricated youth-at-risk facility. When she instead offered to help him apply for grants, she believes he implemented an exit strategy.

He said he suffered from Crohn’s disease and one day he called her to say he’d been hospitalized.

She recalls him saying he was OK, but his wallet had been stolen. He needed money to buy costly medication. Then he had to go to Toronto to get his dog from his ex, and borrowed money for a train ticket and hotel room. He promised to pay her back.

She gave him $5,000.

“He ghosted me after that,” Speranza says, adding that he never repaid her. “I pride myself on good decisions. But I had no inkling whatsoever.”

She filed a police report and encouraged another alleged victim she met, Jean-Baptiste Joachin, to do the same.

The French citizen had met Vautour at a hostel in Quebec City and had travelled with him to Halifax, where he was promised a job on an offshore rig.

Joachin allegedly paid Vautour thousands of dollars for training courses. He also opened up Canadian bank accounts and credit cards, which Vautour had access to.

By the time Vautour skipped town last fall, Joachin had lost $30,000.

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“He completely blindsided me,” Joachin said. “Everything he told me was bullshit.”

Halifax police spokesman John MacLeod confirmed the force has received two complaints of fraud based on case file numbers provided to The Canadian Press by Speranza and Joachin. But he said one incident had been closed while the second was deemed a civil matter.

Meanwhile, Speranza has discovered more alleged victims in other provinces through social media. They exchanged photos of the fraudster to confirm his identity, and have shared information about their cases.

Together, they’ve pieced together a string of allegations against Vautour across the country.

The Canadian Press has contacted police forces, court houses and justice departments in several provinces and has confirmed he’s a wanted man with a criminal past.

Documents obtained from Quebec’s Justice Department show Vautour pleaded guilty in 2005 to unauthorized use of credit card data and received a suspended sentence of one year’s probation.

In 2015, Quebec courts issued an arrest warrant for Vautour for fraud.

Victoria Law Courts confirmed a warrant for the arrest of Vautour was issued in 2001, and executed in 2009. He pleaded guilty in August 2009 to obtaining by false pretence and served a six-month conditional sentence in the community, followed by two and half years of probation.

Meanwhile, West Kelowna RCMP said they are aware of a recent incident and have a police file open on the matter. But spokesman Jesse O’Donaghey said specific details are not released until charges are laid by Crown counsel.

The Winnipeg Police Service confirmed Vautour is currently the subject of two arrest warrants. Const. Rob Carver said the charges pending from 1998 include possession of goods obtained by crime over $5,000 and personation.

Records from the Court of Queen’s Bench of New Brunswick indicate Vautour was charged in 1996 with stealing a Volkswagen Jetta in Dieppe.

Despite efforts by law enforcement, some alleged victims have launched their own investigations — even hiring a private investigator.

They’ve tracked down more than 20 phone numbers, 10 email addresses and multiple physical addresses used by Vautour in Canada and overseas.

The alleged victims have even narrowed down his method.

They say he told them all variations on a theme: He had a successful career either working on offshore rigs, as a remotely operated underwater vehicle operator, or running companies.

He claimed he made it big investing in precious metals, cryptocurrency and cannabis, the alleged victims say. He said he owned a white convertible Porsche, a Ford F-350 truck, a baby blue Aston Martin. He even had pictures to show off his upscale possessions.

“He had money and was well-travelled,” says Jodi McMullin, a woman from the Okanagan area of B.C. who met him on a dating site in January 2018.

The whirlwind romance moved quickly, and they began planning a future together.

He told her he had been working in Vietnam and wanted to stay with her in Canada. But he had tax issues, and needed help cashing a business cheque.

The businesswoman offered to help him out. When she had doubts, he was always ready with an explanation.

“Every time I questioned him on something, he had a response right away,” she says. “There was never any hesitation.”

She provided him with her bank account number, and he deposited a cheque and then pressured her to transfer him the money, she says.

McMullin acquiesced and then left for a wedding in the U.S. When she returned, the cheque — which she later learned was a fake purchased online — bounced, she says.

“He ended up stealing just over $45,000 from me,” she says. “My trust is shot. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about it.”

Speranza is determined to bring the man she knew as March to justice, launching http://www.stopthemarchmadness.com in the hopes of preventing romance fraud and encouraging more potential victims to come forward with anecdotes, stories and possible charges against Vautour.

“This man ruins people’s lives and I am in the business of saving people’s lives,” the firefighter says. “I have to stop him.”

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