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avenging-criminal-bones · 3 years

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After All This Time || Chapter Five

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 2,146

Chapter Summary: Anger. And harshness, maybe feelings. I haven't decided yet so I guess you'll have to just read to find out.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst?, asshat hotch again, sad feels

A/N: Guys, I'm like legitimately so sorry that this chapter took so long. It's not even that I've been all that busy. I definitely did go to California for two weeks, but after that I think I just got lazy? Had writer's block? I don't know. But New chapter is UP.

TAGLIST:

@kingofthetwats @wanniiieeee @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67 @ivebeenthinkingboutu @big-galaxy-chaos @rynfoxsleeps @phoenixsnape1 @mojofun @pachiibatt @enjoymyloves @thenewnormalforensicator @word-scribbless @zezezena @chelseyjoyce @ellyhotchner @lora21 @flipperpenguins @illegal-brains @sunnysaysbookreviews @anti-zippy-snoot @kya-li

You come to eleven hours later, the first thing that you hear being the steady beep of a monitor.

The hospital.

It smells... white, the cleanness of it making you scrunch your nose. Still not having opened your eyes, you sense the brightness, almost making you not want to at all.

However, you knew how hospital visits work. When Reid was injured, the whole team was there waiting for him to wake up. With that push, that you had people waiting for you to wake up, you opened your eyes.

Everything was too bright at first. You felt your lips fall into a grimace and joked aloud, "You guys don't need to be so quiet, she lives."

There was no response, and as your vision cleared up, the wind was knocked out of you like a punch to the gut.

Empty.

The whole room was empty. Aside from you and the TV, there was no talking. There were no people.

For a moment you thought that you were dead. Or maybe dreaming, because who wakes up from a seemingly severe injury with no support system? With no friends.

You hear your heartbeat speed up before you feel it, but boy do you feel it when it hits.

The monitor must send an alert to the nurses' station or something because shortly after, a small, black-haired woman rushes into the room.

"Agent L/N? Are you alright, is there any-,"

"I just- where- did my- wh-where is my team?" The stutter surprised you and you sat up fast, not realizing how prominent the pain in your abdomen was until it was too late. You let out a soft gasp, but looked at the nurse to hear an answer.

"Oh, uh, honey... I asked as they left and the tall, broody one said that there was an emergency." She walked up to you and turned a dial on your IV machine, gently asking you to lay down again.

You complied, not fully paying attention. Your mind was somewhere else; thinking about the harshness of your team, but you had to assume that this was Hotchner's doing.

"You alright, sweetie," the kind nurse asks, her name is Monica.

You nod slowly, your head feeling a lot lighter than it had when you woke up. "Yeah. I'm okay. Um, before you go can you hand me my phone?"

She nods, looking at you for where, and you gesture to the bag that's slightly out of your reach. Monica hands you both the phone and its charger, pointing to an outlet on the wall behind your head.

Nodding in thanks, you plug the charger into the wall and watch the kind nurse leave before unlocking your phone. You see immediately that you have five missed calls from your mother, and after further searching, you notice messages from Emily, JJ, and Penelope. JJ's was the most recent, so you open hers first.

JJ (BAU) 43 minutes ago.

Hey Y/N, In case you wake up before we get back, Hotch called our debrief meeting, so we all went back to the precinct. Sorry, hon.

xoxo JJ and the Girls

You didn't register the tears until they were falling down your cheeks. You sighed a bit and replied to JJ's message with a short, 'got it'.

As soon as you pushed the 'send' button, the door to your room opened again and your entire team rushed in.

Well, most of the team.

Really, everyone except one person.

You were quick to wipe your eyes, trying to hide the fact that you had been crying. JJ walked to the chair beside your bed and sat down, giving you the most gentle hug as she did.

"Did you get my message? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a nurse, any water?"

"JJ, you're momming her," Derek joked as he bent to give you a hug. "For real though, you feelin' alright, lil mama?"

You nodded, sending him a tight-lipped smile as Emily walked over to the other side of your bed, bringing Penelope with her on a video call.

Spencer even came by, but he looked relatively uncomfortable and stayed by the door.

Waving at him a bit, you say, "You can come in you know. I won't bite."

"I know, Y/N. I was just worried. Statistically speaking, you survived on an off-chance. The ratio was close to 83:17, and the bullet entered your abdomen in-"

"I get it Spence. I should be dead," you pause slightly seeing everyone's wide-eyed look at your bluntness, "BUT I didn't die, so everyone can stop looking at my like I'm going to break and just settle." You chuckle a bit and sigh as you see the rest of the team besides Spencer nod their heads or visibly relax their shoulders.

"You're right, kiddo," Rossi says quietly, "You're okay, and we can celebrate that."

"Thanks, Rossi." Smiling, you lean into his hand, which was cradling the side of your face for a moment. "Can someone get Hotchner please? I had some words that I'd like to have him hear."

JJ places her hand on your arm then and says, "Y/N, maybe that's not the best idea right now."

"No," you shake your head and make eye contact with her, "That's exactly what I need right now."

"Y/N..."

"Spencer, can you go get him please? He's just sitting out in the lobby, correct?" You snap a little harsher than you meant to.

The boy stutters a bit, but eventually nods his head and walks out of the room. The rest of the team shares a look before also walking out, giving you space for when your boss comes in.

Sitting up straighter in the bed, you even your mouth into a thin line just as Hotchner walks in the room.

"Am I off the clock right now, sir?" You don't miss the way his eyes flash to your lips but you choose to ignore it.

He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "Say what you need to say, agent."

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling the debrief not only at a time where one of the team members can't make it, but when the team member is in the hospital with a GSW wound." Your voice rises steadily as you continue talking, but you have more to say. "Not only that, but you couldn't even be bothered to make sure I was okay when the debrief was over?" Subconsciously, you recognize the switch from a third-person mindset to a personal one, but you pay it no mind.

"Agent L/N, you-"

"No. You will call me Y/N, and I will be calling you Aaron. We aren't on the clock right now and you don't deserve my professionalism," the heart monitor spikes in tempo, and you throw the blanket off of your lap.

He quirks an eyebrow at you as you command him, but nods his head slightly, letting you be in control for the moment. "Go ahead, Y/N. You get whatever irrational anger you have towards me out in the open and we can deal with the consequences later."

"I left EVERYTHING for this job, Aaron. I left my mom, who never stopped grieving a lost son, I left my job there thinking this would be better, and I lost friends and people who actually cared about my well-being. People who wouldn't leave one of their own in an unknown hospital to wake up by themself, not sure if they were even actually alive since there wasn't anyone with them." You saw Aaron flinch with everything that you listed, but you didn't care. He needed to hear it. "So yeah, Aaron. I get to be angry, and you don't get to tell me it's irrational, because this is the most rational I think I've been this entire year."

"Y/N. You put not only yourself, but me, and the rest of the team in danger yesterday. Excuse me if I don't want to see you and be around you while you're in the hospital." Really, if burned Aaron to his core that he couldn't reach over and tuck the stray piece of hair behind your ear, because right now that's what he wanted to do. Except it's inappropriate and he's not sure you'd let him within three feet of you.

"NO! You see, that's not how it works. Are you telling me that if you saw a little boy with a gun trained on them, you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?" Hot tears fill your eyes, but you don't wipe them. You almost hope that him seeing you cry will make him feel bad, if even just a little.

Glancing at the way his jaw was set and how he clenched his fists in his lap, you knew he was struggling to keep his cool, so of course you pushed harder.

"What if it was Jack, Aaron."

"Dammit, L/N, it wasn't Jack. It was just some boy that we couldn't save. We shouldn't have been able to save him. You didn't use the training you had, and you didn't use the rational part of your brain. As terrible as that sounds, and trust me, I never want to lose a victim, if you had used the training from the bureau, we wouldn't have saved him. " Aaron stands up and paces the length of the bed then, feeling your eyes following him the whole time.

You shake your head as you let your gaze fall to your lap. "I wasn't going to let him die again... I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Aaron's eyebrows furrow a bit and he looks at you with angry curiosity in his eyes, "Again? What do you mean by that?" That's when Hotch remembered earlier when you mentioned her mother who lost a son. "Y/N, did your brother... No. Actually, I'm sorry, just forget I said anything,"

There was a dark anger in your eyes as you shook your head. "No, Aaron. Ask me. Ask me this one question, and then reassess your profiling of me."

His gaze turned steely as he squared his shoulders again, showing no emotion in his voice as he spoke. He almost felt like the best way to approach you right now was as if you were the unsub.

"Was your brother murdered, Y/N?"

Dropping your head, you feel the tears burning in your eyes again and you nod. "He was only five. He had his whole life ahead of him. You'd think a child would be safe with a group of nuns or a priest, but no. Not even them. He was branded with a cross before he was killed and it's just unfair."

Aaron starts to walk closer to your bed, seeing the devolving pattern of your breathing, "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No. Aaron, just, please go. I'll catch a flight home when I'm allowed to fly again, so you guys just go home and I'll figure it out. I mean, that's what I did when I was waking up by myself, right? Go ahead and fire me if you need to, suspend me, I don't care anymore, but I'll come back when the hospital says it's safe." You take a deep breath and watch as he turns away.

He gets all the way to the door before he turns back around and says, "What was his name."

"Joey."

Hotch nods and walks out of the door, remembering that the final victim, the one that you saved, was named Joseph.

After the encounter with Hotch you fell asleep. The heavy medication and the anger in your head knocked you out easily. You were asleep for a few hours, but you woke up when your pain medication wore off.

You noticed that your work phone had a few notifications, so you sat up a bit and looked through them.

There were two that stood out to you. The first one was a notification that read "Hotchner (Asshat) has added you to the group 'BAU Team'". The second was his message in that group chat.

Hotchner (Asshat) 2 hours ago

Hey team, change in plans. We will be staying here until Y/N gets cleared to fly. It should only be a couple of days and I know we were planning on flying out tonight. Sorry, Thanks.

As soon as you liked his message, your texts were blowing up from Emily. She was saying stuff about how "he totally likes you", and about, "you had a rough time on this case".

Also, apparently Derek saved all of his sarcasm for when Hotch got back, and the thought made you smile.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #hotch #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds x reader #angst #sadness #talk of child death

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years

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Useless warning pt. 1|2 [Sirius Black x Reader] - Challenge

Title: Useless warning pt. 1 ➔ Useless warning pt. 2, Here! Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader Word count: 3.9k Published: 29 July, 2020 Warnings: Angst Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: I wrote this for Amelia's Writing Challenge [ @hufflefluff-writer ], where I had to use the the below prompt, however I kind of ran away with the storyline and instead of a one shot it became a multiple part story. I think my mind just went rogue with this one, don't judge me :D - I would also like to state thatt I have nothing against Marlene. I just needed her to be in a negative spotlight for the story.

"I told you not to fall in love with me!"

I also added the song that inspired my mood at the end of the fic

Summary: Sirius is one of your best friends who happens to be dating Marlene. She isn’t particularly a good friend of yours, but you do get along. She agrees to go out with Sirius, all the while she is aware of your feelings. Things get complicated as you are unable to keep your feelings to yourself anymore.

Challenge: [x] [x]

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

You were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, resting your head on Remus' shoulder. Deep sighs left your lungs every few seconds, gazing at Sirius trying to steal a kiss from Marlene. It was hard to watch him giving his undivided attention to someone else.

You have been in love with him for a year or so. It was inevitable. Even when you became friends, years ago, you already thought he was handsome, but the years just helped him to look even more attractive. He has jokingly warned you in the past numerous times not to ever fall in love with him. He knew the kind of person he was. He changed girls more often than he changed his cloths. You tried to obey his request, but years of being his best friend, getting to know him more than he knew himself, turned your feelings around.

You sighed once again as you watched him placing his palm behind Marlene's neck, pulling her into a passionate kiss. That strong grip around your aching heart has become a daily occurring. As scary as it was, you kind of adapted to the pain their pair caused you. Even though Sirius was a player, his relationship with Marlene has been ongoing for the past three months, confirming what you have been afraid of the most. You knew he wasn't far from falling for Marlene. She was stunning with a good brain and funny comments. She was undeniably one of the most popular girls of Hogwarts, making you feel utterly defeated.

You exhaled deeply at the thought of watching them for the next year before you finally left Hogwarts. You wanted nothing more than to leave them and jump into whatever your future brought to you.

"Are you okay?" Remus whispered above you.

"Yeah..." You replied weakly.

"You have been sighing an unusual amount of times." He said and you knew very well that you looked like a love-sick puppy.

"I only have to survive a year." You turned your head upwards to be able to look at his face. His eyes were attached to the couple, just like yours a second ago. His hair was a mess, his expression unhappy. "Why do you look so troubled?" You asked.

"Because it's hard to watch you suffer." He pulled a pained half-smile, making you chuckle.

"Come on now, Remus. I am fine. I honestly got used to it already." Your voice was soft and reassuring.

"Used to what?" He asked, his brows furrowed.

"The pain in my chest." You confirmed. "I have felt it for so long now, it's kind of like a part of me." You giggled even though it was nowhere near happy. He finally turned to you, managing to look into your eyes in a rather weird angle.

"That shouldn't be something you have to get used to." He shook his head.

"I know, Remus, but unfortunately that is exactly how unrequited love works." You shrugged nonchalantly.

"She knew." Remus said and you knew what he meant without questioning him.

"Yes, she did, but it doesn't mean she should have said no. Remus, look, Sirius likes Marlene, Marlene likes Sirius. Just because she knew of my feelings, you can't expect them not to get involved with each other. You are only thinking that way because you are my friend." You explained, once again heaving a deep sigh. The powerful hold around your chest reappeared and you welcomed it as an old friend.

"I would never date someone my friend likes." He huffed, annoyance clear in his voice.

"I have never really been friends with her. We just got along when we needed to." You said.

"Still, it's making me uncomfortable." He said as he shrugged and you lifted your head from his shoulder.

"Remus, don't worry so much. You are more worked up about it than I am." You chuckled at his protective behaviour. He just shook his head, knowing that you were simply pretending to be strong, but deep down you were hurting more than you showed. It was always like that. Hiding your feelings were something that you learned through out the years to protect yourself.

"What's so funny over there." Sirius joined the conversation, hearing your giggling. Your eyes met his captivating grey orbs, for a second leaving you breathless, before you found your voice.

"You don't have to know everything, Sirius." You spoke with a small smile, turning back to Remus who was shaking his head with the same expression.

"You are unbelievable." Remus said, suddenly standing up, pulling you with him and dragging you out of the common room. You could feel Sirius' curious gaze on your back, but you didn't turn your head to look at him. You were more interested in what Remus was planning.

"Where are we going?" You asked, whilst he was pulling you after himself.

"I got fed up of the act, that you have put up. Do you think I can not see that your smile is nowhere near genuine? I rather drag you out and get suspicious looks, than keep watching you suffer." He was quite agitated to your surprise.

"Look Remus, I am fine." You tried to reassure him.

"No, you are not. Enough of acting though. You know what you need? You need to tell him that you love him." He halted abruptly on an empty corridor and turned around, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"What?" You asked as if you have heard him wrong, brows running high, mouth agape. You certainly believed that your hearing has become impaired.

"Tell him you love him." He said firmly, confirming his seriousness.

"That will never happen." You smiled awkwardly as if you were trying to tell him that he was insane.

"Look, I know it sounds like a strange, rather weird idea, but the only way you will get over him is if you confess to him. He will reject you and you can have closure." He attempted to explain his reasoning and he was indeed successful. He made the little gears work harder in your brain then ever.

"I mean... but what if our friendship will be ruined?" You tried to argue his point, not because he wasn't right, but because you were terrified of rejection. Sirius wasn't just a friend or a crush, he was more to you than anyone else, making your situation ever so complicated.

"Then it will be ruined." He shrugged, making you frown at his nonchalant reply. "You can't stay by his side, while he drools over other women. I can't watch you putting up a fake smile and pretend that everything is just fine, when deep down you are trying to hide an excruciating heartache." You heaved a deep sigh as he finished his monologue, knowing how right he was.

"Fine, I will do it tomorrow." You said, your voice beyond broken. You never wanted to lose Sirius, but at this point you knew that you would have to face the consequences of your feelings. As much as you wanted to deny it, Remus knew you way too well, to understand how hard you tried to pretend to be fine in all circumstances and it wasn't healthy.

"Good. Right after classes I will call him to the Wooden bridge." He stated and you nodded in confirmation. He walked up to you and placed his hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Don't be down. Think of it as an end to something painful and a new beginning to something beautiful." You chuckled at his wise words, but nodded in anticipation.

"You always know what to say." You smiled as you started walking back to the common room. "By the way where were we headed?" You asked curiously.

"Nowhere, I just wanted to get you out of there." He shrugged with an awkward smile.

"Well, it worked." You shook your head at his unusual behaviour, but your smile never faltered.

Upon returning to the common room, Sirius questioned you about your whereabouts, but you just exchanged a quick smile with Remus and shook your head, leaving him in suspense.

Your night was long and hard, nervousness quickly taking over you as Remus left you alone. You have been thinking of all the ways you wanted to tell Sirius about your feelings, but deep down you knew, that you would not remember any of your thoughts by the next day.

After hours of rolling around and endless sighing, you finally gave up on torturing yourself and let sleep overcome you.

The next morning you jumped out of your bed and before you knew it, you were sitting in the Great Hall, right next to Remus. Soon Sirius arrived with Marlene on his arm, leaning over you to give you a kiss on the top of your head, just like every morning.

"Morning, guys." He said, taking a seat beside you, Marlene on his other side. He received a couple of replies, but not one from you. You looked at Remus, who gave you an annoyed eye roll, before turning back to his breakfast. You had to acknowledge that he has been hanging out with the boys way too much. Beside his kind personality, he definitely picked up some of those typical marauders attributes, which mostly consisted of sarcastic replies, eye rolls and annoyed scoffs.

You chuckled at his manners, before turning back to your food. He knew how badly Sirius' attentive behaviour affected you, even with that small smile plastered across your face. Remus just always knew what you thought and it definitely brought you closer.

By the end of classes, you were standing at the Wooden bridge, arms resting on the edge of the handrail, whilst watching the view and waiting for Remus to send Sirius over. Your thoughts were a mess of what ifs and hows, but you didn't have much time to think as you saw Sirius' form appear at the end of the bridge.

He walked up to you, his back leaning against the side of the bridge with a questioning look.

"You know, this is suspicious right?" He asked and you raised a brow at him. "Instead of you coming to me and asking me to meet you here, you send Remus to do it." He clarified his words.

"Yeah..." You replied hesitantly, not wanting to tell him that it was all Remus' idea.

"So what's up? Why did you want to talk to me?" He asked impatiently, which made you furrow your brows.

"Someone is in a rush." You replied with a scoff.

"I have promised a date to Marlene." He shrugged.

"So you simply don't have time for your friend." You raised a brow questioningly. "Next time I will just book an appointment." You spoke, clearly annoyed.

"Don't be cute. You know that's not what I meant." He attempted to save the situation.

"But you did though. I wanted to talk to you about something that's very important to me, but what do I get? You, trying to rush me to get it over with, because you have a date." You hissed in anger.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think of it this way." He sighed, whilst trying to get an eye contact from you, unsuccessfully.

"Whatever." You shook your head in a reply. A few seconds of silence fell up on you, before he spoke again.

"What bothers you?" He asked as he turned around, joining you in gazing over the rift under the bridge.

"It's very complicated. I don't really know how to talk about it." You started, making him frown.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"It's not... I mean..." You heaved a deep sigh at being unable to create a coherent sentence. "My head is a mess of thoughts." You scoffed, trying to organise what you really wanted to say.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything." He tried to encourage you to talk. You finally looked up at him, his grey eyes curious as to what you wanted to say.

"Anything?" You questioned.

"Anything!" He repeated firmly.

"I don't think you will want to hear this, but I still have to say it though." You turned away from him, not wanting to see his disgusted expression. The knot in your stomach and the grip around your chest became stronger, your throat dried out as your anxiety heightened.

"There isn't a thing you can't share with me." He spoke with his lips curved up into a gentle smile.

"I love you." You blurted it out, deciding that it's better to just get it over with.

"I love you too." He replied, making you scoff, before a pained smile appeared on your face.

"No, you don't get it." You shook year head. You lifted your face, looking up into his grey eyes, which seemed to be more confused than you have ever seen them." I love you the way you like Marlene." You clarified your feelings for him, watching as his eyes grew wider by the second.

"What?" His voice was weak and shocked at the same time. His demeanour less confident than ever.

"You heard it." You spoke firmly, your nervousness long out of your system. You knew his answer, you knew him. There were no questions left. You simply waited for him to process what you have just told him.

"But... I told you not to fall in love with me!" He replied, his words weaker than you have ever heard.

"Feelings are not something people can control. Believe me, if it depended on me, I would have never fallen for you." You replied.

"You never showed it, though." He spoke, surprising you with his words.

"I mean, we were friends and I knew you would never look at me that way." You explained looking straight into those grey irises. Your voice sounded calm and collected, your demeanour firm and though.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say." He spoke hesitantly.

"I want you to reject me." You said confidently, causing his brows to run high.

"What?" He asked in shock.

"The only way I can get closure is if you reject me." You explained with a shrug. He looked ever so confused at your behaviour.

"You are taking this quite well." He spoke with a frown and you knew exactly what he meant. Of course, you did. You became so good at pretending to be fine, that it was almost natural not to show your real feelings around others.

"I guess, I do." You spoke in a relaxed tone.

"Erm... I'm... I don't know what to say. You know, I am with Marlene." He shook his head slightly, trying to find the right words. "I just can't do this." He said, his voice defeated.

"That's fine." You replied, making him frown.

"You are scaring me, you know?" He spoke, his eyes looking for something in yours, that you knew he would never find. You could feel your tears collecting in your eyes, but you didn't let them leave. Not just yet. "You are acting strange." He shook his head lightly.

"No, I am not. I came here to tell you that I loved you and I knew before I even decided to confess, that I would be rejected. I was simply prepared for it." You explained halfheartedly.

"Okay..." He replied hesitantly. "I have to go now, but I will talk to you later." His tone was soft and gentle as if he was scared of hurting you, even though you have stood there in your toughest form.

"Yeah..." You replied simply, assuming he has only said that to make you feel better. "See you." You told him as he was still standing there. You wished he was gone by now so you could just let all your feelings go, but his hesitant steps and slowly disappearing back, forced you to keep everything in, until finally he was out of sight.

You slid down the side of the bridge, letting your tears finally roll down your cheeks. Of course, you were hurting, your chest didn't even let the air in anymore. You felt like you were being suffocated. You were heaving for breathe as you felt your salty tears pour through your lips.

It was killing you to know that Sirius never even thought of you romantically. It hurt you to see him giving attention to all the other girls. It pained you to see him kiss Marlene so lovingly. But most of all, it teared you apart from the inside to know that he would never return your feelings.

You sat at the bottom of the bridge, legs pulled up to your chest, face hidden between your knees, tears escaping your bloodshot eyes. You just wanted to disappear from the castle, from the country, from the whole wide world.

You didn't even realise a presence beside you, only when a hand lifted your head and two soft lips attacked your own. Your eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the owner of the long black locks, but before you knew it, your eyelids flattered shut and you gave into the blissful feeling of his lips moving in synch with yours.

It was better than you ever dared to imagine. His lips were in perfect harmony with yours, making you moan into the kiss. You could feel the salty taste of your tears on your lips as he placed a hand behind your neck, pulling you even closer. He was captivating, he was giving you hope and you were cursing him for it. You didn't want your feelings to be played with.

He finally pulled away, leaning against your forehead, breathing heavily, along with you. You didn't even realise when your tears stopped streaming down your cheeks.

"You are not as strong as you pretend to be." He spoke with a pained expression, opening his grey orbs to look at you.

"Sirius..?" You questioned... everything. You didn't understand why he was there, why he kissed you, why he came back. Your head was a mess of confused thoughts.

"Why did you have to tell me how you feel?" He heaved a deep sigh, his breath shaky, feeling defeated. He pulled away from you and sat down beside you, leaning his back against the side of the bridge.

"I told you. To get closure." You replied hesitantly. You were nowhere near the expected closure. Your feelings were now more unbearable than ever.

"Closure for what? You just had to come and stir things up, didn't you?" He asked, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Stir what up?" You asked furrowing at his unclear words.

"I was over you finally. Or at least I thought I was and then you decide to confess to me? How am I supposed to take that?" He raised his voice, hiding his face in his palm.

"Over... me?" You questioned hesitantly.

"Yes, I loved you." He lifted his head to look into your eyes. "I thought you would always look at me as a mere brother figure and I accepted it. That's why I always jokingly told you not to ever fall for me. But here you are now, telling me that you love me and I am not supposed to feel good about it, I am not. But I just can't deny that a part of me wants to jump out of my skin in happiness." He confessed, leaving you with parted lips and a shocked expression across your face.

"I... I didn't expect that." You spoke in confusion.

"Believe me, I didn't expect your confession either." He replied with a scoff.

"But... what do you feel then?" You asked, trying not to get your hopes any higher than they already were.

"I honestly don't know." He shook his head, letting out a deep sigh he has been holding onto. "A part of me is happy that you love me, but I'm not sure about what I feel and I don't know what to do with Marlene now." His voice was beyond defeated and you just wanted to pull him into a hug, to tell him that everything will be just fine, but you stopped yourself. You knew that it wouldn't help him now. It would just confuse him.

"You have to decide what you want. I can't help you with that." You spoke, trying to keep yourself composed.

"I know. I just need a bit of time." He said and you nodded in agreement. A few minutes of silence fell up on you, before he stood up and reached out for you to help you up. You accepted his hand and steadied yourself, but before you could have even looked up, he pulled you into his embrace, dipping his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. You protectively wrapped your arms around his torso, enjoying his warmness around you. You wished you could enjoy his hugs longer, but you knew that it wasn't fair to any of you, including Marlene.

"As much as I enjoy hugging you, this is not going to help you." You spoke as you pulled away from him with a soft smile across your face.

"I know." He took a deep breath.

"Let's go back." You said, but he stood still, not even attempting to move, his adoring eyes fixed on your face. You shook your head, rolled your eyes and started gently nudging him towards the castle, chuckling.

"You know, I can walk on my own." He smirked at your forceful behaviour.

"Yeah, but you didn't move though." You argued playfully.

"A simple please would have worked just fine." He replied.

"As if I was ever begging for anything." You scoffed.

"I can think of one or two reasons." He raised an eyebrow, before your deadly expression forced a loud chuckle to leave his lungs.

"Just shut up. That I would beg for." You rolled your eyes at his childish behaviour.

You went back to the castle, parting ways at the entrance as Marlene appeared. She questioned his whereabouts, but you quickly got involved by telling her that you needed to talk to Sirius and you didn't realise the time. She seemed to believe you, although a sceptical look rushed across her face, before it quickly disappeared.

Tags: @haphazardhufflepuff , @inkhearthes

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like and/or reblog the chapter. Thank you :)

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I’ll just put this here, because this song had a big impact on my mood when writing.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don’t forget to like, comment and/or reblog the chapter. Thank you :)

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katedrakeohd · 4 years

Text

Once Upon a Merry Birthday

[Masterlist]

A 12 days of Fictmas story

Pairing: Drake Walker x (MC) Kate Walker

Books: TRR - TRH

Warnings: Swearing, Adult Themes, mentions Post Pardem Depression/Anxiety

Word count: 7000 +

Writer tags: : @texaskitten30 @emichelle @leelee10898 @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes

@ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @twinkleallnight @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow

Reader tags:: @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @fluffyfirewhiskey @jovialyouthmusic

Twas the week before Christmas, and throughout the manor at Duchy Valtoria, decorating was in full swing. Everyone was in high festive spirits, since the weather had brought a fresh blanket of white sparkly snow to the ground, and a crisp chill to the air. Well almost everyone was feeling festive. The Duchess was the exception. Over the course of the preceding months she had been too preoccupied with the care of her baby girl, Brooklyn, to even think about holidays. Apart from the occasional official statement to the press regarding how the new Mother and the Princess Royal Heir were doing, they had pretty much kept away from the public eye.

Kate felt so proud of her husband Drake for stepping up and shouldering the extra responsibility while she needed to take a step back. He had insisted it wasn't any trouble, since he’d had Hana, King Liam, and occasionally Bertrand to offer him advice or guidance. But Kate couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt when she would find him sound asleep at his desk after a long day of Zoom meetings and diplomacy. She knew he was forcing himself outside of his common man comfort zone for her sake, and for the good of the Duchy. He'd even changed his work wardrobe to include dress shirts instead of his usual denim, at least from the waist up anyway.

Even after all of that, Drake was determined to do something special for Kate's Birthday. Being born a week before Christmas shouldn't mean your day couldn't be just as grand.

After putting Brooklyn down for a nap, they’re in their bedroom packing for a short trip away. Kate doesn't know what to pack, since Drake was being secretive as to their destination. She was already feeling the beginnings of anxiety over leaving Brooklyn behind. Sitting in the middle of the bed in her comfy oversized sweater and sweatpants, she has the speaker of the baby monitor resting in her lap. She’s only half engaged in paying attention to Drake, her ears keenly listening for the slightest sound from the nursery.

Drake packs a pair of bluejeans into his suitcase, hiding the dress slacks and socks he had already packed. Kate hadn't even noticed him picking out formal wear and putting it into a garment bag. Her own suitcase only contained an old t-shirt that she wore with a pair of shorts as sleepwear. Drake cringed at the thought of seeing her wear that again. Her wardrobe over the past seven months had consisted mostly of his baggy old sweats and t-shirts, or just an old t-shirt and boxer shorts under a robe. Although she showered periodically, and changed into clean things, her sloppy look was proof she wasn't making herself a priority. Drake missed the beautiful, all put together, woman who he’d fallen in love with. She was in need of a break from just being Mom, and Drake knew just how to do it. Kate deserved to feel special again, and not just feel needed by someone.

Drake packed his last few things and zipped up his suitcase. When he notices that Kate is still distracted he pulls his case off the bed and sets it down on the floor with a loud thud. She jumps with fright and he finally gets her attention.

Sitting down on the bed, he pulls her over to him and she cuddles into his arms as they lay down together on the bed. Placing a kiss on the top of her head he sighs, "Look, I get it. You don't want to go anywhere. But I miss you, Kate."

"I'm right here, silly." she says, as she lays her head on his chest and he squeezes her tighter.

"We need a date night. Just the two of us. I know you've been an amazing mother to our little Beanie, and it shows in how big she's growing and how happy she is." He moved his hand down her back, smoothing out the bulky material of her clothes to appreciate the shape of her body underneath. When he lifts up the edge of her shirt, she stiffens when his warm hand touches the bare skin of her lower back. "I know you're physically still here, but I miss my wife."

Kate squeezes her eyes shut against her unexpected tears as she whispers, "She's missed you too."

Drake leans back when he hears the sob in her voice, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. "You don't need to hide under these bulky clothes, you're still beautiful to me Kate."

She chuckles, "Even if I've given up shaving, plucking and moisturizing?"

Drake raises his eyebrows, and then leans in to kiss her on the forehead. "Don't worry, we can work on minor things like that. I want you to feel good about yourself. Besides, Hana told me you've been doing pilates and yoga together again. So there's nothing for you to feel self conscious about."

"I don't fit into my clothes the way I used to."

Drake shrugs, "So we'll buy you some new clothes. And if we need to alter something from your closet, don't worry, Hana can arrange it."

Kate sighs with gratitude, "You're so wonderful to me Drake, I don't deserve you."

"Oh hush, you deserve all of me and the world Kate, never forget that. Now let's get you packed up for a romantic getaway."

"But Brooklyn.."

Drake gives Kate one more squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before rolling away from her and getting up from the bed.

"Don't worry about Brooklyn, she's in good hands with Hana. Plus we're only a phone call away if you want to check in."

Kate glances over at the speaker for the baby monitor, it's still quiet, and then she sits up on the edge of the bed. "So are you going to tell me more about this romantic getaway you have planned?"

Drake shakes his head, "I can't give away everything, or it will spoil the surprise."

Kate looks over at her suitcase, "Well at least help me figure out what to pack. Sweaters, jeans, warm socks? I need a hint."

Drake nods, "Those will do for a start. Oh and a comfortable pair of warm boots and a coat. We're going to be out in the snow."

Kate gets up from the bed, "So I guess we're not jetting off to some tropical paradise then."

Pulling her into a hug, Drake smiles and then leans in to give her a tender kiss. "Maybe next year."

Drake opened the back door of the SUV for Kate. She gives the manor one more uneasy glance and then climbs in. They had both given Brooklyn hugs and kisses before leaving, and a list of instructions to Hana, but still Kate felt guilty. As Drake opens the other rear door and climbs into the SUV, he finds Kate looking worriedly at her phone as she's texting someone. With a sigh he swipes her phone out of her hands and tucks it into the pocket inside his jacket.

"Wha..Hey!" She protests, "Give that back."

Drake swats away her hands when she tries to go into his jacket for it. "Nope."

"But you said I could check in."

Drake feels the vibration of Kate's phone against his chest. "Don't you trust Hana with Brooklyn?"

Kate gnaws at her bottom lip, "Yeah, but.."

"But nothing. Just take a deep breath and let it go already."

Kate huffs in a quick breath and then lets it out, "Happy? Can I please have my phone back now?"

Drake chuckles as Preston climbs into the front seat and starts the engine, "Only if you promise to turn it off and put it away for the car ride."

Kate folds her arms across her chest and scowls angrily at him. "Ok, fine. But only if you tell me where we're going."

Drake fishes her phone out of his pocket, "Do you remember last year when Max and I did the Father Christmas Parade?"

Kate's expression brightens a little as she relaxes her arms. "Yeah."

Drake sends a quick text to Hana, and then passes the phone over. "Well Max kept going on and on about how pretty the village was decorated for Christmas. And it occurred to me that you were missing out on seeing everything. So I figured we could do the touristy thing and spend the night at an Inn and…"

Kate leans over and covers his mouth with her fingers giggling, "Sssh, you had me at 'pretty village' .

Drake takes her hand and kisses it, "Good, because I want you to have the best Birthday ever."

...

As they travel further away from the manor Kate focuses on the beautiful wintry scenery, and Drake's comforting hand in hers and soon her anxiety fades. It was starting to snow so Preston turned on the wipers. Drake gives Kate's hand a squeeze and then leans forward to tap Preston on the shoulder.

"How do the roads look?"

"So far they're just damp, but we should be fine. We have all wheel drive and snow tires."

Drake sits back again with a nod. "Good to know."

Kate tucks her hand under Drake's arm and leans into his shoulder, he turns to kiss her on the forehead. Kate smiles as she catches the comforting smell of his cologne, "I thought you would have used this opportunity to drive us in your truck. I love sitting next to you in the front seat."

Drake shrugs, "I thought about it. But then I remembered that I needed to get my tires changed, and besides if I was driving…" Drake pauses to tilt her chin up and give her a tender kiss on the lips. "I wouldn't be able to do that, whenever I wanted to."

Kate sighs with happiness, as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her tighter against him. "I see your point. It's highly frowned upon to cuddle and drive. Or to do other things."

Drake catches Preston's eye in the rearview mirror when he looks back at them, he leans in to whisper in Kate's ear. "Seeing my point, along with doing other things, will have to wait until we don't have an audience."

Kate giggles as his lips move to her neck to plant gentle kisses. "How close are we to this Inn you were talking about?"

Preston shakes his head as he focuses on the road ahead, trying to ignore the sounds from the backseat.

….

An hour later Drake gently shakes Kate's shoulder to wake her. The warm interior of the car had lulled her to sleep and she had her head on his lap.

"Wakey wakey, Birthday Katie."

Kate moans sleepily and hugs him across the knees, "Five more minutes."

The rush of cold air on her face when Preston opens his door to get out jolts her awake and Drake laughs. "We're here, and I think you could use some fresh air to revive you."

Kate sits up and stretches, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth, "Oh sorry, must have dozed off."

Drake looks past Kate to the building they're parked in front of, "That's ok, you're forgiven. There wasn't much to see during the drive anyway, just snow and trees and mountains. We've finally made it to civilization."

Kate steps out of the car and looks up at the towering stone facade of their hotel, "Wow, this place is beautiful."

While she takes her phone out of her pocket to take pictures, Preston signals for Drake's attention and then pulls him aside.

"The weather reports are forecasting nasty weather tomorrow afternoon, what time in the morning do you want to be picked up?"

Drake shakes his head with a frown,"Didn't you get the itinerary that I sent to your email? Along with the list of things I need you to do?"

"Yes, but under the circumstances I thought you might want to change your plans. For safety's sake."

"I booked us for two days, and I don't plan on leaving early."

"But there's a storm coming." Preston insists.

"And your point is?"

"You're likely to get snowed in, and it'll take most of the second day before the roads are cleared. Meaning it'll take longer for me to come get you."

"Yes, it will." Drake replies, patting Preston on the arm. "Just do as I've asked, and then help yourself to a nice dinner at the hotel. Charge it to my room, and then go home."

Kate glances over at them with a look of concern, "What're you two talking about?"

Preston smirks at Drake, "You've got this all planned don't you? You saw the weather report."

"I did. Now please stop fucking around and get our luggage." Drake mumbles and then walks over to Kate.

He wraps his arm around her shoulders with a smile, steering her toward the hotel. "Welcome to Ravenhurst Castle, Kate. Our romantic getaway awaits."

Looking up at the steep slate roof, stone masonry, and tower climbing the corner of the building, Kate could see why they called it a castle. "You didn't have to go through this much trouble for me, Drake. I would have been just as happy staying at a simple Bed and Breakfast."

Drake stops on the stone walkway to pull her into his arms, "You're special to me, Kate. I couldn't let you spend the night just anywhere."

"But.."

Drake grabs her hand and then leads her up to the front door, "Just roll with it."

Preston follows them through the hotel lobby carrying their luggage. The three of them turn heads as they make their way to the front desk. Even dressed casually in jeans and sweaters, the presence of someone carrying your stuff was a dead giveaway that you were important. Preston drops their bags by the counter and takes up a protective position to watch the room. His fierce stare makes all the onlookers hurry off and mind their own business.

The hotel clerk behind the counter is bubbling with excitement and greets them with a wide smile, "Oh my goodness, welcome to The Ravenhurst! It's an incredible honour to have the Duke and Duchess stay with us. I'll have our best -..."

Drake shakes his head and holds up his hand to interrupt, "We already have a reservation."

"You..you do?" The clerk grabs her computer mouse and starts scrolling away as she searches the hotel registry on her computer screen.

"So you're not here to promote the Father Christmas Festival?"

Drake leans his elbows on the counter and lowers his voice,"Not this time. I was hoping to keep our visit as an unofficial one. We're under a different name. Try a reservation under Jones."

The clerk gives him a knowing smile, whispering. "Why of course Mr. Jones. I see your booking right here on my screen." Her expression changes to a frown when she notices something, "Unfortunately your room isn't quite ready. If you're looking for immediate accommodations though I could upgrade you to a suite."

"That will be fine, we just don't want to be fussed over, no paparazzi, just a quiet visit. Could you manage that for us please?"

Kate leaves Drake at the counter and wanders over to take pictures of the giant lobby Christmas tree. Preston breathes a sigh of annoyance at having his attention divided, he moves to another place in the lobby where he can still keep an eye on both of them. Kate sees the bodyguard move out of the corner of her eye and decides to tease him a little. "Hey Preston, come on over and take a selfie with me over by the tree."

He checks to see that Drake is still in conversation with the clerk, and then after taking a quick visual sweep of the room for possible threats he nods, "Only because the position of the tree provides an optimal vantage point from which to survey the room."

Preston stands next to the tree, unsmiling and on alert. Kate tries to stand close enough to him so that he fits into the frame of her phone camera, but can't get a good angle because he's so tall. "You don't smile much do you?"

Preston keeps his eyes trained on the room and mumbles. "I'm on duty, Your Grace."

Kate makes a funny face at her phone screen, trying to crack Preston's facade and get him to smile. "I've seen you talk to Drake and be more relaxed. Are you scared of little ole me?"

Preston doesn't answer at first, hazarding a glance her way and then looking away when their eyes meet on her phone screen. "It's not you I'm afraid of."

Across the room Drake steps away from the check-in counter and then walks over with a smirk on his face.

"Is she misbehaving, Preston?"

Preston gives a slight nod and then steps aside to give Drake room to slip his arm around Kate, "Our room isn't quite ready. But I may have arranged for some special hotel extras during our stay."

Kate snuggles into his warmth, feeling that familiar flutter that ripples through her every time she gets lost in his eyes, or he lights her up with his smile. "Oh? What sort of special extras?"

"Ravenhurst has a spa and salon onsite, two restaurants, and their own winery."

"Ooh, fancy. But didn't you promise me a tour of a pretty little town decorated for Christmas?"

Drake grins, "I did, and it would be a nice way to kill some time while they get our room ready. Besides, after being cooped up in the car for so long I could use a walk to stretch my legs."

Kate looks over at Preston, "Is Mr.Tall Broad shouldered and Serious coming with us?"

Drake notices Preston clenching his jaw trying not to react to her question, "No, he has other things to do. Then he's going home."

"But, Your Grace.." Preston argues.

After taking a quick look around to make sure they weren't causing a scene in the lobby, Drake answers quietly, "But nothing, just see to it that our luggage is safely taken up to our room when it's ready. Grab a meal on us, and then you're free to go. Don't worry about us, Preston, we'll be fine."

…

Drake and Kate leave Preston behind at the hotel to walk arm in arm to the village. Glancing back over her shoulder at the hotel, Kate asks, “Do you really think Preston can turn off Guard Duty mode long enough for us to have a private stroll?”

“I’m betting he’ll give us a five minute head start at least before he starts tracking us in the SUV.”

Kate giggles as the snowflakes tickle her cheeks and eyelashes, “Thanks for doing this for me. I really did need to get out of the house for a bit.”

Drake pulls his winter hat down further over his ears, his warm breath floating away in the chilly air, “You’re welcome. We both needed this. There’s nothing like taking a walk through a winter wonderland to lift your spirits.”

The tiny village of Raven’s Rest loves to decorate for Christmas. Every railing, light pole, and window was either trimmed with greenery and twinkling lights or wore a sparkling red bow or festive ornaments. With the fresh snow on the roofs and joyful music spilling out from every other opened shop door, it felt and looked like Christmas spirit came to life. The scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and chocolate wafted from a bakery café as Drake and Kate passed under its

striped red and white awning. Drake pulled in a deep breath and smiled as he pointed at the frosted gingerbread house displayed in the window.

“This looks like a perfect place to stop for a hot chocolate and a treat. What do you say Kate?”

Kate felt her stomach growl, “I say lead the way Mr. Jones.”

After ordering hot chocolates topped with whipped cream and candy cane sprinkles, and a plate of decorated cookies to share, they’re seated at a table for two by the window. Drake picks up a gingerbread star and bites off a corner. He looks at the decadent drink sitting in front of him and wonders if there was a possible way to not get it all over his face when he attempted to taste it.

Kate can see the confusion on his face as he chews his cookie, she giggles as she stirs the whipped cream on the top of her cup with a candy cane. “You look scared. Don’t worry it won’t bite. And no there isn't any way to avoid the whipped topping to get at the drink underneath. A little cream on your face is all part of the fun.”

She demonstrates by lifting her cup and delicately sipping at the candied rim, a smear of cream clings to her upper lip when she sets it back down. “See? Think of it just like your Santa beard from last year.”

Drake mumbles as he scrubs at the light stubble on his cheek, “Don't remind me.”

His beard had been much further along the year before, and he had used white stage makeup to whiten his whiskers. Unfortunately the makeup had made his skin itch. This year he was grateful that Maxwell was volunteering to be Santa for the parade.

Drake nearly chokes on his cookie as he watches Kate lick the cream off her lip. He coughs into his fist and then picks up his drink to wash down the crumbs. He gets cream on his nose and lips, and then wipes it off with a napkin, “It's much more fun to watch you drink it.”

Kate noisily slurps the whipped cream on the top of her hot chocolate, while Drake grabs a sugar cookie and uses it to scoop the froth off of his. “Ooh Drake, that's a good idea.”

The café is nearly empty of patrons and Kate is grateful not to have onlookers taking their picture, especially with the way Drake was devouring his cookie and getting cream all over his mouth and chin. She giggles and hands him another napkin, "You, uh have a little something on your face there honey."

Drake grunts, "Thanks."

He's annoyed at how sticky his face feels as he wipes off the cream, "Drinks don't need all this extra crap on them. That's why I prefer my coffee basic and black. And my hot chocolate tasting like chocolate."

"Oh bah humbug Mr. Scrooge, I figured a guy so into s'mores and marshmallows would enjoy something like this."

Drake wipes the cookie crumbs off of his jacket, "Hey don't get me wrong, I love a decorated cookie or dessert. But I prefer my drinks a little less childish and messy."

Kate shrugs, "I guess I see your point. But never tell Hana she can't put marshmallows in your hot chocolate, it would break her heart."

He nods, glancing at Kate's phone on the table. "If you want to check in with her, I won't stop you. I'm curious myself how our little Beanie is doing."

Kate wipes her hands on a napkin and then picks up her phone, "You don't mind? I'm dying to send her pictures of the hotel Christmas tree and tell her where we are."

Drake smiles and then lifts his hot chocolate to his lips. He doesn't dare tell Kate that he and Hana had been planning this birthday trip for weeks.

While Kate happily texts away to Hana, Drake watches the snow falling outside the window. The grey sky was darkening as the flakes got heavier. They soon needed to head back to the hotel. The pedestrian traffic was much lighter than when they entered the café, and the street lamps were coming on. He can see the dark shape of an SUV creeping along the street in the distance. No doubt it was Preston.

Drake is in mid-sip when his phone rings in his pocket, making him jump and spill the hot chocolate all over himself and the table. "Gah! Son of a - …"

Kate gasps in surprise and jumps out of her seat. "Oh my goodness, Drake."

She grabs the remaining napkins from the table and dabs at the front of his jacket as he puts down his cup and pushes his chair back. He swats her hands away when she tries to wipe his lap, "It's ok, it's ok! Let me do that."

Kate chews on her lip as she watches an employee approach with a roll of paper towels.

"I'm so sorry. We'll clean this up. Could you bring us a bag so we can take our cookies to go?"

Drake sighs as he unzips his jacket and takes out his phone when the ringing stops, "Preston, you Prick."

The car pulls up outside and parks, waiting, the wipers swiping away the snow. Drake sends Preston a quick message, I told you to go home.

Preston answers back, Need a lift?

Drake and Kate pile into the backseat of the SUV, brushing the snow off of themselves. In the clean, warm interior of the vehicle the scent of the spilled hot chocolate on Drake's clothes is very noticeable, adding to his discomfort at having wet pants.

Drake takes off his jacket and then folds it up and puts it down on the floor. He inspects his sweater and shirt for chocolate stains.

"Thanks for picking us up, Preston. If we'd tried to walk back to the hotel we would have been soaked and frozen before we got there," Kate says, smiling at the security guard."

"I'm already soaked," Drake mutters, looking down at the dark wet stain on his lap.

Kate pats him on the arm, "I meant from the snow, Dear."

Preston checks their surroundings and then does a u-turn in the road to take them back to the hotel.

"How did he find us anyway?"

Drake answers, "Most likely tracked my phone with the GPS."

Kate looks at him with surprise, "He can track our phones? Is that even legal?"

Drake nods, "After Anton kidnapped us from our own wedding, it was discussed among the council that the security team needed extra help in case it ever happened again. Liam approved it."

"I guess that makes sense. But then all we would have needed to do to escape would leave our phones behind."

Preston speaks up, "It's not a foolproof plan, Your Grace, but it still gives us a place to start if one of you suddenly went missing."

It doesn't take long to return to the hotel, but thanks to the heavy clouds it was already getting dark. When Preston parks the SUV Drake asks, "So did you deliver all of our bagage to our room and do a security check to make sure it was safe?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Did you get yourself a room, Preston? It's too late for you to head home now."

Drake looks at Kate with a frown, "Don't encourage him to babysit us."

"It's his job to keep us safe, Drake, so let him do it."

…

After collecting their room keys the three of them head up to their rooms. Preston has conveniently booked the room next to Drake and Kate.

"Consider yourself off duty for the rest of the evening, Preston. Relax and enjoy yourself." Kate says, smiling.

"If that's at all possible." Drake mutters as he unlocks the door to their room.

As soon as Drake enters the room he starts stripping off his clothes. Kate can't help but laugh. "Woah there cowboy, at least warm me up with some foreplay before we jump right into it."

Drake grumbles as he kicks off his boots and then unzips his jeans, "Ha ha, so not funny. At least you don't smell and feel like a walking candy bar."

Kate leans against the corner of the antique four poster bed as she watches Drake fuss around half naked, digging around in his luggage for his bath supplies. "I dunno, I kind of like the smell of chocolate on you. Gives me a reason to seek out all the parts of you that taste the sweetest."

Drake can't help but grin, as he leans in to kiss her cheek. Kate frowns when she realizes how sticky his face is. "Still like it?"

Kate makes a face and then wipes at her cheek. "Ok, I get it. Go get a shower and a shave."

As he wanders across the room naked, Drake points at the Welcome Basket on the table by the window.

"I asked the hotel if they could throw in some complimentary spa treatments as a Birthday gift. Why don't you check some of them out and then we could go to the restaurant for dinner. Go get yourself all pampered and feeling gorgeous for our date night."

Before Kate can protest that she had nothing fancy to wear to dinner, Drake disappears into the bathroom. With a shrug she picks up the spa brochure and then sits down on the bed while she nibbles on the cookies from the bakery.

"Oooh, they have a special brown sugar body scrub treatment. That would feel so nice, and I would smell delicious afterward." Kate mumbles around her mouthful of cookie. "And I could get my hair and nails done, perfect."

After looking through the envelope of coupons for the free treatments she wanted, Kate walks over to the bathroom door and knocks. "Thanks so much for the spa coupons, I'm going to take advantage of some of these and then see you later."

Drake rinses his razor in the sink and then pauses his shaving to answer, "Good for you. Text me when you're all finished and I'll meet you here to get ready. I'm going to explore the hotel a little bit myself."

Kate kisses her fingertips and then presses them to the door, "Love you, Drake."

Drake smiles, "I love you too."

After finishing his shave and shower, Drake finds the phone number on the brochure and calls down to the Spa.

When his call is answered there's a women's voice on the line, "Bella Salon and Spa, how may I help you?"

Drake runs his hand back through his wet hair, "Hi, do you have a customer there booked in under the name Jones or Walker?"

"I'm sorry, sir, in order to respect the privacy of our clients we cannot disclose that information."

"Oh, Ok. I understand. My wife is there and I want to book a haircut without her seeing me. I want to surprise her later during our dinner date."

"Our salon closes within the hour, but if you're in need of a clipper cut I can squeeze you in right away. What name should I put next to your reservation?"

Drake thinks for a moment, "Davis, Preston Davis."

…

Kate sits in the makeup chair at the Salon in one of their plush robes. She felt like she had just received the royal treatment after the body scrub and facial. Next they were doing the finishing touches to her makeup application and hair styling, followed by a manicure and pedicure. On the other side of the partition wall she can hear the sound of a pair of clippers buzzing on and off and occasionally a man's voice in conversation with the stylist.

She couldn't be sure because of the way the sounds echoed off of the hard surfaces in the salon, but it sounded like Drake. She felt like a bride on her wedding day trying to hide away from the groom until she was ready. It made her tingle with excitement inside over meeting him for dinner. In her mind she was mulling over what blouse and pair of jeans to wear, wishing she had packed something more feminine. But knowing that Drake would probably be dressed casually as well helped.

…

Drake sat at the bar in his black dress shirt, jacket and slacks. He had to resist the urge to smooth his hand over his freshly trimmed hair, hoping that Kate would like it. Any minute now she'd be returning to their room to dress for dinner. He picked at the bowl of mixed nuts and pretzels on the bar, and singled out all the peanuts to munch on as he waited.

An attractive female bartender smiles as she notices him sitting all by himself and walks over, "Good evening sir, could I interest you in a drink? Or are you more interested in grazing from the snack bowl."

"I'll take a whiskey on the rocks, for now." Drake answers, trying to maintain his composure as her hungry gaze makes him feel like he's the snack.

"For now? Are you anticipating ordering more later?"

He smiles as she prepares his drink, "I'm expecting someone."

She nods as she slides the glass of whiskey back across the bar to him, "Well, when your date arrives let me know. I'll get her something special. My name is Amanda by the way."

Drake picks up his glass and gives the whiskey an appreciative sniff and then a sip, he nods toward Amanda lifting his glass in a salute, "Drake."

His phone buzzes in his pocket as he sets the glass down again.

…

Kate lets herself back into her room after her time at the spa. The soft coziness of the robe wrapped around her felt so nice, and she hated to take it off to put on her casual denim again.

She's surprised to find herself alone in the room and sends Drake a quick text. Spa appt all done, feeling fantastic. Where are you?

D: I'm down at the bar enjoying a whiskey. Can't wait to see you.

K: What should I wear? I didn't pack anything fancy.

D: There's a present for you under the bed.

K: Drake.

D: Just read the letter attached and humor me. Happy Birthday Kate.

…

Kate puts her phone down on the table and purses her lips with a frown, she was afraid of what might be in the box. After hiding under baggy clothes and bluejeans for months she was worried that whatever was in the box wouldn't fit.

Kneeling down on the floor she peeks under the bed. There's a large green rectangular box and a smaller white one that looked like a shoe box. She drags out the green box first and sets it on the bed. There's an envelope taped to the top. She should feel happy about Drake buying her a present but she just felt nervous instead. Sucking in a deep breath and then letting it out to help calm her nerves, Kate opens the envelope. There's a handwritten letter inside, and she can't help but feel a rush of emotion at the care it took for him to write it all by hand.

____

Dear Kate,

I'll never forget the night we met. We were all there for him, and then along came you. At the time you were just the waitress that was willing to show us a good time. I thought you were cute and all, but never figured I would stand a chance. You made an impression on a future King that night, and an impression on me.

I'm not sure when everything changed in my favor, maybe it was that night at Applewood or maybe it was when I jumped in front of that bullet, realizing I would rather die than live in a life without you. We've been through a lot to get where we are now, and despite the ups and downs you married me instead. You've shown me a life and love I never thought I'd have and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

Now between us we've created a new life in our little girl. Becoming a parent changes a person. You're no longer responsible for just your own life but for someone else's too. Some days this scares me to death, and then I see you holding Brooklyn in your arms and know that we're going to be alright.

I'm excited to discover my new life as a father, and to get to know the mother you are becoming. So tonight on your Birthday I want to meet you all over again for the first time. So what do you say Kate? Have you ever wanted to meet that mysterious stranger in a bar that only has eyes for you?

Love, Drake.

___

Kate plucked a tissue out of the box on the bedside table. She was glad that she had chosen the waterproof mascara, because now her eyes burned with tears. Drake was right, becoming a mom had changed her. At times she was scared too, but knowing that Drake was always going to be by her side to help raise Brooklyn made her heart feel more full. After dabbing at her eyes she delicately blew her nose, not wanting to smudge her makeup, and then lifted the cover on the box. Peeling back the tissue paper she gasps and then reaches for her phone.

….

Drake finished off his whiskey and then checked the time on his phone. He didn't want to call her in case she was busy getting dressed, but he was starting to worry that she wasn't going to show. Amanda raises her eyebrows and holds up the whiskey bottle to quietly ask if he wanted a refill. He shakes his head and then sticks his hand in the snack bowl again to grab a pretzel. Before he can eat it his phone rings. It's Kate.

"Hello?" He answers.

"I can't wear this."

"Sure you can."

"Because of the way the top is designed I can't wear a bra."

Drake shrugs, "So don't wear one."

"Hah! This mother of a 7 month old child needs a little more support thank you very much."

"Didn't you wear a dress similar to this to Max's birthday party last year?"

"Well, yes…"

"Just try it on. I promise you'll look beautiful in it."

"You're biased because you think I look good in anything."

"Yes, I do. I also think you look good in nothing at all. Now are you coming down to dinner?"

Kate is quiet on the other end for a few seconds, "Ok, fine. But I need pretty shoes to wear with a dress like this."

Drake smiles, "I'm guessing you haven't opened the other box yet. When you're ready, text Preston and ask him to escort you down to Edgar's Restaurant. I'll be waiting for you over by the bar."

Continue on here >>

#12 days of fictmas 2020 #12 days of fictmas #drake walker #drake x kate #choices

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takaraphoenix · 6 years

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Can I just say something, Hazel is not v. realistic. Like I'm 13 and i can't say the same for all 13yolds but neither me nor my friends dream of growing old w/ a husband and like rick makes her and sammy to be soulmates and that's not how a 13yo's mind functions. Also, she shouldn't be completely dependant on her. And as someone who has experienced racism its v wierd that she only experiences in her schooling rather than also w/ her mum and even in new rome. 1/2

2/2 : And Rick just randomly makes the chracters diverse but then he forgets that race is a part of character. I mean Hazel was living in the 40s as an African American and now when she’s resurrected we hardly hear anything about her experiences w/ racism. It’s not realistic. I’d expect her to maybe have some centering as a character on that. I just think that Rick cannot display characters out of his perspecitve at all and im just very annoyed. idk what do u think on this all

When I was thirteen, we all didn’t quite think past the point of high school graduation - our life was in the now. We definitely did not think about growing old and picket fences.

But yeah, I said it in a post before - many posts by now - but Riordan writes only what he himself experiences. And that is the life of a fifty year old white CIS het man. And while I can’t attest for the CIS part because I’m not reading that one series that features the genderfluid character, you can feel every other aspect of that list very strongly.

You can feel the “fifty year old” when you read about literally every single teenager dreaming about the white picket fence.

You fan feel the “white” when you read Hazel, Reyna, Piper and Leo.

You can feel the “hetero” when you read the clumsy coming out of Nico at the end of Heroes of Olympus. And actually also in Will’s flippant attitude when talking to Nico about it, because in my experience as a fledgling lesbian, older and more experienced gays and lesbians were being very gentle and welcoming and not like “LOL that’s why I was trying to talk to you for so long because I’m gay too!”. That was just to retcon in that Will was also gay; had Riordan actually cared about the gay sub-plot before, then we would have had interactions between Will and Nico in PJatO.

You can feel the “man” at every female POV in the Heroes of Olympus series. Every. Single. One.

Gotta admit, as a white girl from Germany, I do not know how things are for black people in the US (you know, beyond the generic news coverage online and the police propaganda in cop shows), but nowadays with things like Black Panther, Black Lightning, Dear White People, Timeless (seriously, the part that I adore most about that show is how it dives into the female and black history, the kind that’s brushed under the rug), also gotta mention One Day at a Time here for the Latinx representation, I realized just how very… white-author the Heroes of Olympus characters feel.

Especially with Hazel it infuriates me because she comes from a different time and to include how her experience is, how things have changed - and worse yet, how things haven’t changed - would be so incredibly interesting. How she experiences everything.

I mean, seriously, Percy got shunned for being a son of Neptune because Neptune was feared - but so was Pluto. Just how awful must it have been for the black daughter of Pluto in New Rome…?

But oh no, worry not, the black girl from the 40s with no knowledge of the modern world perfectly integrated into New Rome in 2010. No issues here at all.

We live in a time and age where not everyone can be straight and white.

We live in a time and age where representation isn’t just asked for, we demand it, because the world isn’t straight and white.

So the author of the book series where every single major character was white started sweating. (Beckendorf and Ethan were the only non-white characters and oh look, both got killed off.)

So he… he literally just looked around what there is to represent and just slapped a label on each of his characters, like a check-list.

We need A Black Character - Hazel, check.

We need An Asian Character - Frank, check.

We need A Gay Character - Nico, check.

We need A Native American Character - Piper, check.

We need A Latinx Character - oh, let’s be generous on that one; Leo and Reyna, double check.

I didn’t notice that back then, when I first read the books. But by now…?

I’m not saying I could do better - heck, unlike Riordan I also have the disadvantage of living in Europe and thus not even second-hand witnessing what the American Experience might be like for people of color - but if you decide to write a major book series and represent something you are not familiar with - may it be being gay, or from a different cultural background, or being a woman - then you should at the very least put the research into it to back it up.

Or, the easier cop-out, stick to what you did before.

And I don’t mean that as “just write whites”.

It really would be less of an issue if Heroes of Olympus had still been only from Percy’s perspective. Because we would have only gotten to meet the characters through Percy’s eyes - and not their own.

Because then we wouldn’t have had those flashbacks to Hazel’s past, we wouldn’t have to question how it came that those characters didn’t think about certain things or complain how they all seemed to think about other things collectively. And literally no one would have complained about a lack of POV changes, because PJatO didn’t have those - it was all Percy, so no one would have questioned if the sequel had also all been Percy.

It’s one thing writing about characters, but it’s different writing as characters. And in my personal opinion, Riordan shot himself in the foot by making HoO a POV split between this very diverse cast of characters, without having the actual background knowledge to flesh them fully out.

Not to mention the part where I generally think that going from one POV up to three and then to seven and nine different POVs had already been too much of a jump, but if you do that with so many different characters, who should also all have a different feeling to them, that only makes a difficult task that much more difficult.

Now, obviously, having the Seven all be white males would have been a disaster and also the wrong choice.

There are different things that could have been done though.

Like I mentioned, keeping it Percy’s POV, which we all would have been used to and no one would have questioned (heck, even if he had just done it a Jason and Percy POV due to Lost Hero).

Doing actual research for the things you write about. Also an option.

Or dialing down on the unknown. Let’s not forget, he wasn’t just juggling seven characters who represented something he wasn’t personally familiar with (also including Annabeth, because girl), out of the total of nine main characters all but three were completely new and had to be introduced.

In my personal opinion, he should have carried more characters than just Percy and Annabeth (and then later on also Nico, but not important enough to be one of the Seven) over into this book-series.

Clarisse, for example - she is over twenty, she is an experienced fighter and hero. That’d be a female character to be fully explored, but who has already been introduced (and would have made more sense than Frank, Hazel, Leo and Piper on terms of them literally having been introduced to the demigod world barely months prior with a total of one quest of experience before going to war).

Chris Rodriguez, who while never explicitely stated to be Latino as far as I remember, the name does imply and Riordan could have doubled down on that and included him. Hermes is a very diverse god, considering how much Riordan played with the powers of not overly powerful gods like Bellona or Aphrodite or Hephaestus, he could have done the same with Chris. It’d also have been fascinating to see the former traitor work hard to earn back his place at camp and to explore the mental strain put on him in the Labyrinth.

You would not have to start from scratch if you take characters you already have established. It makes everything easier, both for you as the writer and also for the readers, who don’t have to familiarize themselves with half a dozen completely new main characters.

And it takes away that edge of it being utterly ridiculous that, despite both camps having veteran heroes who fought in the Titan War and are around 20 years of age, they decided to send four kids who are essentially total newbies and of whom one is 13 and two are 15.

But yeah, those are just… personal picks on how he could have handled it better. Me, I simply wouldn’t have written about a prophecy of seven because this is a damn war. Seriously, the quest for Atlas, a minor stepping-stone on the way to the Titan War, already featured five main players with Percy, Thalia, Grover, Bianca and Zoe, only two less than this entire freaking war needed according to the prophecy.

Have it be the Giant War. Feature all of those new characters, but also your already established ones. Keep it first person Percy POV and show them fighting together, instead of singling only seven demigods out in something that is supposed to be an all out war against Mother Earth.

Neither of those are be all end all kind of answers to the problem, but suggestions on how it could have been handled differently.

The important thing would be growth and as someone for whom HoO was just too much, I can not judge that. Because everyone makes mistakes and everyone grows as a writer. So if Riordan saw what he did and learned from it - I know one of the Magnus Chase mains is a Muslima, another is mute, I think, and one is genderfluid, so if all of those are handled with more respect, research and dedication and it shows that he learned from the past, then that’s good and okay, because nobody is perfect and it’s all a learning curve, but if those are also just cardboard cut-outs put in place to be Representation, then that’d be… sad, I guess. And disappointing.

But, well, due to not having read that - and not planning on reading that - I can’t attest to it. I can just hope for the best for the readers who seek representation and got giddy about the prospect. I hope they didn’t get disappointed in that.

And I hope he will continue to learn from mistakes and grow as a writer, because yeah I generally don’t wish anyone anything bad and I truly, truly loved Percy Jackson and the Olympians. He hurt himself by trying too many new things in the sequels and if he learns to handle that and return the writing to the quality of PJatO, that’d be pretty amazing.

#riordan critical #representation #heroes of olympus #pjoverse #anonymous #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Heroes of Olympus

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awed-frog · 7 years

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The frustrating thing for me, when people use Dean's issues to point out WHY he handles emotional situations badly is that the sympathy isn't with the people that suffers because of it (like Cas). It's with Dean. An explanation for Dean's behaviour shouldn't become a justification. If Dean loves Cas but treats Cas badly, why should we root for this relationship? Him almost killing Cas is about CAS' suffering, not his. But his reaction is not about what Cas deserves, but about his wants. IMO etc.

I’ve been trying to come up with something clever about this ask for a few days, but I got nothing, so I’m just going to tell you what’s going through my mind in the clearest possible way.

1) The viewers will often have a favourite and defend them to the death, and if you find it frustrating, there’s not much you can do other than unfollow people or blacklist some tags. I understand where you come from - I also get annoyed when people justify everything’s a character’s ever done, even the most twisted and problematic things, just because they like him or her. To be honest, I think I stopped caring when I saw a discussion about how Tate Langdon was the perfect boyfriend - some part of my soul just shrivelled and died and I decided that yep, some people are batshit insane and most people get unreasonable around stuff they love, and what can you do about it?

2) If you’re talking about the writers/creators of a show, on the other hand, I think it’s important to remember where is our POV and what kind of story those people are telling. Like, Supernatural is not House of Cards: whatever he does, Dean will be written as sympathetic, and since we see this world (mostly) from his POV, everything is reflected back on him. I know some people get angry about this - characters getting killed to make the Winchesters feel bad, or simply to advance the plot - but that’s how you tell a story (everybody does the same thing, and if you don’t see it, it means they’re doing their job right). Your main characters are the ones who matter, and the ones whose emotions we care about. So, even when it comes to someone as important to the story as Cas is, Dean will get most of the plot, and this is just how things work.

The next point might upset some people, so I’ll place it under a cut. Stay safe.

3) On placing sympathy on the abuser, rather than the victim - I think there are several reasons for this. One is that, traditionally, our stories in the West are about the conquerors and the victors, not those who have been defeated (when Euripides wrote a tragedy about the Trojan noblewomen being sold off as slaves after the war, people were not happy, and that play is still controversial today). At the same time, we all realize, because we’re not psychopaths, that violence is not nice, and that’s how you end up with this compromise narrative best summarized by Frankie Boyle.

Another aspect of this is that many victims are women (or people ‘outside’ a community, such as queer people or POC), and many abusers are men, and, again, traditionally we give less weight and importance to the feelings and wellbeing of women than we do to those of men. Combine that with the fact many storytellers (I use the term loosely) are men, and you get where we are today: a story about a woman being beaten by her husband is ‘boring’ and not something the audience will want to watch, but the story of a tortured man who can’t help but beat his wife because demons is ‘interesting’ and worth everyone’s attention.

Finally, I think there’s a combination of these two factors in play as well - we mostly want to see stories about people acting, not reacting; about people being brave and fighting and winning, because we generally identify with the main character and we want some sort of happy ending for them. And the problem is - a victim of violence who overcomes this violence - that can still be perceived as a bleak story, right, because abusers are often a solid part of the community (husbands and fathers in family dramas, soldiers and commanders in war movies), which means that this kind of stories are, in their very nature, unsettling and revolutionary, because what they’re telling you is that the community was wrong in trusting those people. It’s no wonder, really, that Francesco Rosi’s Uomini contro was threatened, sued, and had great trouble to find distribution in Italian cinemas: despite being a movie about a century old war, it sided - very clearly - with the soldiers who’d been brutalized by their own commanders, and while the situation was well-known and mostly accurate from a historical point of view, the backlash was still enormous. And this is the same reaction you get, not only towards fictional stories, but about real ones too. All those murder-suicides - ‘normal’ men killing their wives and children before shooting themselves - both the media and the public’s reaction is inevitably incredulity and a refusal to dig deeper. We want to believe our societies are healthy and we want to believe that men (unlike women, those fickle and untrustworthy creatures) are mostly right about everything, and this is what we get as a result. We’re so good at ignoring violence it sometimes comes back to haunt us (is it just me or all the latest US shooters had priors of domestic violence?). So, you see - a man coming to terms with his own anger and becoming a better person, that’s an inspiring story we’re all okay with; but a woman standing up to her husband, that’s a bit different. There’s a seed of revolt there, a sort of If she did it, why can’t I? that we really don’t want people to see.

(In case it’s not clear, I’m violently against all of this. I’m sick of this kind of stories, and I do think that we need some waking up and some revolution in our communities.)

4) You say an explanation shouldn’t mean a justification, and I totally agree, but I also think it’s hard to do this right, both IRL and in fiction, because the more you know about someone, the more you empathize with them, which means any villain can become redeemable with the right background story - just ask Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. As for Dean and Cas, I don’t think Dean ever justified his own behaviour; in fact, he even atoned for it, in his own Dean way, when he allowed a crazed Cas to beat him up and insisted in keeping the bruises. It wasn’t perfect, but, then again, neither is Dean.

5) Why should we root for this relationship if Dean treats Cas badly - does Dean really treat Cas badly? I don’t think so. Dean is a MESS, all capitals. He tries his best, and I really feel for him, but the truth is, he doesn’t know how to do this. As far as we know, he didn’t have any friends or significant relationships growing up, and by the beginning of the series, the only person he seems to connect to in any healthy way is Bobby. Honestly - it takes years for Dean, who grew up as a soldier and a conman and a loner and never had a right to his own childhood and a life that wasn’t taking care of his brother and helping out his father, to get better at this. And, sure, the relationship with Cas is no different - at the beginning, Dean is confrontational, a sarcastic little shit, occasionally cons Cas into having his way - but the magic of what happens between them is that pretty soon, all of Dean’s traditional walls and posturing take a step back. What’s really special here is that Dean is honest with Cas in a way he isn’t with anyone else, and despite the fact he loves Cas so fiercely, he mostly tries to respect his decisions, and is never harsh with him if not in very extreme circumstances. Personally, the one moment between them I truly hated was Dean’s Nobody cares that you’re broken, because, OUCH - looking back, I can see that this was Dean channelling John, but still - it was an incredibly dickish thing to say (and it must have haunted Dean in Purgatory, especially since, as far as he knew, Cas had died - because of him). As for the rest of it - I doubt we’ll ever have fluffy lines between them, but that doesn’t mean they’re not incredibly soft with each other. I don’t know if you were referring specifically to S12E19, but Dean pushing Cas against a wall in anger - that’s not abuse. He knows he can’t hurt Cas (physically) unless he really tries, so that scene was about Dean needing to put his hands on Cas, to feel him, to make sure he was there and he was okay; and also a harmless way to let his frustration out, to say what he doesn’t know how to put into words (that he cares, that is, and that he doesn’t need Cas to bring him back any win, the dumbass, because that’s not what actually matters). And maybe that reaction doesn’t seem soft to you, but this is Dean Winchester, right, the killer even demons are afraid of and the guy who basically doesn’t trust anyone - Cas just spent weeks MIA, never bothered to call, didn’t tell them he had a line on Kelly, stole the Colt form Dean knowing full well how much that weapon meant to him, collaborated with Heaven without telling him one word about it - and, on the whole, Dean’s not even angry. He’s worried, and he’s frustrated (with Cas; with himself), but he understands why Cas did what he did, and that makes all the difference.

“Dude, if anybody else - I mean anybody - pulled that kind of crap, I would stab them in their neck on principle. Why should I give him a free pass?”

“Because it’s Cas.”

You know - I always felt that for Dean, who’s always been coded as the ‘female’ character both with Sam and with Cas, the Mark of Cain was the ultimate undoing precisely because it took from him all those ‘feminine’ traits which are such a profound part of who he is. The fact that it all culminated in him beating the hell out of Cas, in a reversal of their traditional ‘fights’ (I’m inverted commaing this because most of those happened under some sort of mind control, so they weren’t really fights), was, in a way, a complete assertion of his new role of Alpha Male - while Cas had stepped back into a more traditional ‘feminine’ role the whole season. In this sense, I understand that the narrative focused way more heavily on Dean, because he was the one acting out of character and doing ‘weird’ things - but ideally, yes, I would have wanted to know what that beating meant for Cas, what he was thinking as he healed himself, and everything else. So, yeah - it’s a mess, and it’s not a traditional love story, perhaps, but I still think they’re right for each other and they do make each other happy, so personally, I’m rooting for them. There are tons of abusive relationships on TV that are passed off as normal, even romantic, but this isn’t one of them.

#ask #destiel #deancas #spn season 12 #spn 12x19 #domestic violence for ts #traditional narratives #not sure if this is clear or not #but it's mostly how i feel about this issue

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