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#and would probably delete some works
vilsoo · 1 year
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oooh this shit just pissed me off
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defiledtomb · 2 days
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you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.
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formereldestdaughter · 6 months
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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....
This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.
I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?
(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)
I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.
Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.
And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.
I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.
(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)
I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.
We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.
On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??
So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.
It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.
Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).
But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.
Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?
Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?
#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#the hunger games meta#anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the#headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible#and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay#and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too#like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin#it’s not a formal brick and mortar business#it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about#without there being waste and while covering some of the costs#and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about#as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh#anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with#this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like#but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao
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velvetjune · 7 months
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Jesse would probably have the same reaction to Saga’s profiling as Tor or Odin, being able to directly communicate, which would lead to the best situation of both of them just staring into space while they’re silently and psychically communicating at random times
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nell0-0 · 3 months
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I hate being stared at while people whisper obviously about something related to me. At least try to be subtle, fools. I have to deal with that enough at work where my coworker clocked me as neurodivergent from day 1 and has, thus, made it his mission to push boundaries and mess with me.
See, this is why I prefer staying at home thinking/drawing/writing blorbo related stuff.
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aerodaltonimperial · 2 months
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I'm really not used to people paying attention to me, I just sort of lost most of my wrestle fandom friends in the past year or so, and I guess I just want to say hi? Thanks for being here? I've gotten more followers in the past week than I've gotten in several months. 💚
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daughterofhecata · 2 months
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Ich weiß zwar nicht, wieso mein Hirn von "Wie hält sich Victor Hugenay fit?" direkt zu "Justus sollte reinkommen, während er oberkörperfrei Liegestütze macht" gesprungen ist, aber here we are now.
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Please BE EXCITED about stuff you like/ want to be excited about 💞 That's what life supposed to be about, finding joy in the smallest things, in the things we enjoy and love. And the people that judge us for having that joy in our hearts lose their own life, because they spend too much time judging someone else's life instead of doing something with their own. FUCK them
this is one of my favorite asks and i love you
#nobody will ever stop me from getting excited about things i like#i just always feel like i'm not allowed to share that excitement with anybody directly because of being made fun of in the past#or like i at least have to tone it down by like 99% and make it very brief#because of fear of rejection so i keep it to myself contained in my own space#sometimes i really wanna talk about my favorite things with somebody but i'm like#'nobody knows or cares about this. what if i send something and they hate it and tell me it's horrible'#(a reaction i've been the most used to. either that or just silence)#and i wouldn't know who would actually be interested or if i would be putting them in a situation#where they're not interested at all but they're too nice to say it and then i feel annoying if i keep talking about it#because now even if it isn't SAID that they hate it i still always feel like people are thinking that behind it all#so like if somebody came at me right now telling me everything i like is horrible#that itself wouldn't really bother me because i could just block and continue life without a second thought about that person specifically#because that's just unnecessary and rude regardless of what it's about and i would assume it's just somebody looking to stir things up#delete/block. not taking it personally and not worth thinking about#but it's the anxiety built up from it happening for so long and so consistently from so many people and some that i used to be close to#that now it feels to me that everybody feels that way even if i know LOGICALLY that it isn't true. the feeling is still there#it's one of the long-term effects that are so hard to get rid of once they're set#this is just another thing about myself to work on for probably my entire life#but russ has been helping me with so much lately it's unbelievable
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good enough for now. night
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leonstamatis · 1 year
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also, belatedly joining the trend started by hen wtc and followed by others by creating an ao3 collection of some of the blaseball fics i'm proudest of. it's by no means comprehensive, but these are i think the major ones i'd like to point people to if they're looking for things to read.
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foster-the-moths · 2 years
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i feel like the tmc community (including myself until last night) doesn't understand how ridiculously powerful a desert eagle is so i'm rambling about it under the cut (tw: a lot of talk about mark's death/su*c*de, guns, and gore)
okay so first off i've seen a LOT of people talk about how these are way bigger than your typical handgun shell:
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and they're right! these are the shells of a .50ae caliber bullet, the largest a handgun can have (legally, at least) and these are what desert eagles use.
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(.50 cal bullet on the far right)
i could ramble on about calibers and number and shit but basically its just a very big, very powerful bullet.
the reason i'm talking about this is because wanted to know what mark's body would actually look like, and since his head is censored in canon i had to do my own research.
and i found this! this is a video by a bulletproof vest company, and the part that's important to this post is at 58 seconds in, when they shoot a ballistic dummy (meant to simulate human bones, flesh, and organs) with a desert eagle in the head.
((there's more videos out there about what a deagle can do (watermelons, FRIDGES, pork ribs, etc.) but this one is the most relevant.))
youtube
and the head fucking explodes. the entire top half of the skull is reduced to shrapnel and chunks. the brain just falls out. i was expecting a big hole in the head, not half of it getting completely obliterated. one thing to note is that mark probably had the gun against his temple at point-blank, and in the video the bullet seems to enter at where the nose would be and is from several feet away, and since i'm not an expert i don't know if that changes anything (bullet holes are bigger at exit than at entry) but its still impressively ludicrous how powerful this gun is.
which is why i think its scarier that mark had a fucking deagle, one of the most overpowered handguns to exist, and he STILL couldn't kill an alternate. and if you count the bullet shells on his bed in vol 333, there are more than seven (i counted 11, but its hard to see clearly). either way its fucked up that alternates can withstand one .50cal shot, let alone multiple. imagine having a weapon that powerful and it does jackshit. tmc is about hopelessness at its core and this shit really is just the cherry on top.
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velvetjune · 4 months
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it might be too time consuming and complicated, but I hope remedy games continue to experiment with different artistic mediums in their games. different art styles, claymation, animated segments, etc. would love to see the graphic novel style back in the max payne remakes.
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0x28 · 8 months
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tbh video games are a weird exception for me where i can't stand other forms of media having reactionary politics, like i can't look past it to try enjoy it despite the politics, it just ruins the experience for me, but for video games idgaf lol as long as the gameplay is fun i'm good. i mean i did write like 10k words criticising the reactionary politics of life is strange but that's different cause lis is a telltale game and basically just an interactive movie like there's not much gameplay to compensate for the writing and the politics of the writers. normal games are mostly gameplay and you can kinda ignore the writing if you don't like it. not that gameplay is apolitical, obviously the way the gameplay is designed is political too, but ig it's easier for me to ignore it if i can be distracted by the fun-ness of the gameplay? idk. but generally i'll play games with whatever strategy is most successful for the objectives of the game, like if the goal of the game is to make the most profit possible i'll play as a capitalist, if the goal of the game is to conquer all the land i'll play as a coloniser, if the goal of the game is to overthrow the bourgeoisie i'll play as a communist lol. anyway my main source of income in my rimworld games is harvesting and selling prisoners' organs
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coldercreation · 1 year
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(--)
“(--)” Liam muttered, easily showing his throat when Kit nosed under his jaw. His instincts fluttered almost frantically, feeling blissed out when Kit pressed his tongue against his pulse. “Alpha, y’don’t have to… (--)”
“Still ‘alpha’, huh?” Kit mused softly, brushing a light kiss on Liam’s bitten skin. He then pulled back to look Liam in the eye, failing to do so because Liam’s submissive, irrational instincts still had him in a chokehold, forcing him to look away. “Yeah... Still all sweet for me. So good, Liam, did so well.”
“Good pup,” Liam mumbled a little dazed, mostly to himself, just echoing what Kit tended to shower him with like this. He gave a slow, dopey grin when the words made Kit huff out a laugh.
“Yeah, such a good love,” Kit grinned, kissing Liam’s smiling dimple.(--)
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sirompp · 1 year
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the autism urge to create a blog archiving and sorting the entirety of something nobody wants not even me
#thats a lie. i do want. but not that much#you see.#i was thinking.#um.#theres a lot of gacha life mini movies in this world right?#and they all follow a lot of tropes.#and youtubes search isnt very great for when youre trying to find a specific kind of video and dont have the title memorized#a tumblr blog with a very thorough tagging system...would fix that...#im not going to do it. im NOT going to do it.#its so much work and would be an impulsive decision and those NEVER go well for me. im NOT GONNA DO IT.#but i want to. i fucking want to#i more want this blog to already exist to be honest because of one specific glmm that i saw as a kid that fundamentally changed me#i dont even watch glmms. i didnt when i was a kid either idk why i clicked on that video.#i dont remember anything about it besides some basic facts like...#it. um. there was hell. im pretty sure hell was in it. ithink the main character was an angel that got turned into a demon#which is like 30% of all glmms im aware.#also there was a dream sequence that i thought was really inspiring because it actually felt like a dream with dreamlike continuity#if i were making a gacha life mini movie archive blog then i would probably find that video. because id have to watch all the videos id pos#unless of course the video was deleted.#which um.#hm.#well id have made something useful to like 3 people either way so itd likely be worth it anyway#me tag🍭#<-almost forgot to add that bastard#and UHGHFJVNB it would be SO autismpleasing to sort all those things into their own little tags.#GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH im not going to.#fighting with ymself to not make a bad decision
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