#casey watching them silently stare at nothing for a few minutes: :)

[velvetjune]

Jesse would probably have the same reaction to Saga’s profiling as Tor or Odin, being able to directly communicate, which would lead to the best situation of both of them just staring into space while they’re silently and psychically communicating at random times

[snugglywugglysocialist]

hello!! could I request a story with casey where she had a tough case and had been threatened and all and she figures out that she’s wasting her life by locking herself up from reader and that she actually loves her and it’s not just a hook up so she goes finds her and tells her that? could be smut or not hehe thank uuuuuu

slight cw for themes of violence and general toxicity

"Casey." You say, looking tiredly at the redhead stood at the head of your bed, now scrambling to get dressed.

"For fucks sake." She growls, pulling her hair out from beneath her jacket and moving to bolt out of your bedroom door.

You'd been grilling Casey about what happened at work since she'd showed up at your apartment in a haze of aggression. You’ve seen her emotions range from angry to disillusioned, but not anything like this, nothing ever spurring her to treat you the way she had tonight. The redhead had managed to silence you with her lips and tongue for the past couple of hours, but—much to her dismay—your prying continued once you could breathe again. Casey’s refusal to explain what was going on with her was maddening, and for the first time since you'd known her, you were contemptuous toward her.

You’re refusing to let her leave without an explanation for her behavior, though you know it’s going to be exhausting trying to shatter her stoicism, even just for a few moments. You exhale sharply after getting up from the bed, and noting the swelling on your thighs and arms from Casey’s grip on them earlier. Moving your hand over the area beneath your shirt, you can still feel the indentations of her bite marks; the crudeness in which she’d used you tonight mounts your anger as you storm out of the room. You fling open the door to find her standing in your living room, gathering her belongings.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You ask, your tone venomous; she scoffs and you can feel yourself becoming enraged.

“I can’t deal with you right now.” The redhead pivots, insolently looking downward to avoid your scolding eyes.

You cut off her path as she makes a move for the door, and position your body between her and the exit. She stares at you with a look of aversion you’ve never seen from her before, and you feel physically ill. You cross your arms defiantly in a silent challenge to the older woman; she begins to chuckle wryly at your stance. Your face stays unmoving as you watch Casey laugh manically, her head thrown back and her voice raw. She eventually contains her disbelief into just a mere smirk, and fixes her gaze downward upon you once more, stepping closer and pinning your body.

“Move.” She mutters, the calmness of her demand forging a pit in your stomach.

“Or what—you gonna call your cop friends?” You ask dismissively, pressing your back further into the wood in attempt to create distance between your tense bodies.

Casey’s face drops and a sheet of blackness seems to overlie her sharp features; you click your tongue in indifference. The anger swelling within your chest, and the dull ache radiating from your ragged muscles quashes your usual pull towards disarmament. The standoff between you and the older woman lasts for what feels like minutes; neither of you dare to speak or move from your places. The redhead looks away—her eyes crazed and her nostrils flared in white-hot rage—and you let out a quiet breath of relief. However, just when you let your guard slip, her calloused hands bracket on your upper arms, and sling you into the left wall.

Without thinking, your arms rise to level with your chest and throw her off. As she stumbles into the back of your couch, it seems you can hear the rush of adrenaline in your ears as much as you can feel it pummel the walls of your veins. This no-strings agreement the two of you had made within the first month of meeting went out the window long ago; it’s replacement a weekly cycle of virulently taking out the frustrations of the day on one another. You know it needs to end, but neither you nor Casey seem to possess the willpower to cut it off. Casey shoots you a dumbfounded stare as you purse your lips and rest your hands on your bruised hips.

“Get out.” You hiss, throwing open the door for her, and walking into the kitchen; she obliges wordlessly.

You brace yourself against the granite surface of your kitchen island, and try to quell the trembling of your limbs. The faint thrum of Casey’s heels against the tiled floor of your building can still be heard through the open door; you straighten your posture and move to slam it shut. You lean your head back and cover your face with your eyes, hoping that you’ll open them to see Casey asleep next to you, and realize this was just a nightmare. No such comfort comes, and you groan as you see the angled couch serving as mocking evidence of you and the redhead’s fight.

Hours melt into one another as you pace around your living room, your brain swirling about the events that transpired between you and the older woman. Despite the immeasurable amount of time you’d spent with Casey—tangled in her toned arms and enamored by her words—you feel as if what you experienced tonight is the real her. The small glimpses of her humanity that you’d grasped at to justify this relationship twist into indiscernible memories the longer you think of her. You smile drolly at the absurdity of your choices, and dwell on the hours you’d wasted in her company.

The shrill sound of your ringtone echoes throughout your flat and shakes you from thought. You realize your phone somehow ended up on your desk, and you walk quickly towards it on the off chance someone at work is calling you at 2 o’clock in the morning. You nearly lose your balance when you see the name illuminated across your screen—Casey. You blink a few times and just stare in disbelief at the white letters plastered on your phone; however, curiosity overtakes you, and soon you’re pressing the green button and holding it up to your ear. You can faintly hear her release a breath, and the call is silent until Casey decides to speak.

“I didn’t go home.” She murmurs, and you believe the faltering of her tone is a figment of your imagination.

“Where are you?” You ask, clearing your throat nervously and walking towards the kitchen window.

“I need to see you.” Casey says, her voice so defeated you almost can’t believe it’s her on the line.

“This has to end.” You sigh out, your eyes fluttering closed; Casey chuckles hollowly in response.

“Consider it closure.” The older woman states, and you hum in hesitant approval before she hangs up.

Minutes later, she’s walking in wordlessly and peeling the coat from her shoulders; you’re already sitting in preparation for whatever convoluted interaction is to come. Casey sits at the island across from you, and places her hands meekly in front of her; you fidget softly under the counter. The older woman brings her head up slowly to look at you, her eyes wrought with guilt and shame. You try to maintain an apathetic gaze, but you can feel your brows knitting in clemency at her despondent presence. She interlocks her hands behind her neck as she inhales, and prepares to speak.

“The short version is that I had a rough case; not any worse than the others, but some friends of the defendant cornered me at the courthouse after arraignment.” Casey avows quietly, and you nod slowly at her words.

“You could’ve told me earlier.” You croak, and she sucks in a breath through her teeth.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, it still doesn’t.” She says, her eyes fixed to the floor.

“You threw me into a fucking wall, Casey.” You choke out, your tone imploring her for a compelling explanation, though you know there isn’t one.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, her breathing labored as if there were a mass upon her chest; you stand and turn your back to her in order to keep your composure.

“I still don’t want it to end.” You confess derisively, and you can hear Casey shuffle to stand and approach you.

“It doesn’t, not for tonight at least.” Casey scrapes, and you can feel tears prick at your eyes as her arm encircles your waist.

A warm sensation spills into your chest to replace your anger as Casey turns you in her grip, and lightly drags her hands over your exposed arms. The frown she wears resembles that of an apology itself, and the tears you’d tried to stifle spill over across your cheeks as you try to escape her forlorn gaze. You should do nothing but shove her away from you just as you did a few hours ago, but you can’t, and you don’t want to. Every moment with the older woman traps you in the same alluring stalemate of weakness and desire; escape is unthinkable. As Casey’s lips burn soft kisses into the skin she’d blackened earlier, you feel a sense of understanding—of her, yourself, and the fucked up situation you each find yourself in.

Her lips envelop yours with a soft adoration, moving as if it were her first time doing so. Casey pulls back and glides her thumbs over your face, trying to wipe the tears from your flushed skin. She settles on kissing them away instead, repeating a hushed apology each time she plants one. Her hands rest on the small of your back, gently adhering your waist into her upper thighs; your head drops into the dip of her shoulder. She’s mumbling something into your hair and guiding you towards the bedroom, but her words are muffled by the fog occupying your mind. She has you encased in her arms as she lies with you, and you can feel sobs crack through your lips.

Casey’s mantra of apologies ends once your ragged breathing steadies to sync with hers. The older woman runs her lithe hands through your hair lightly, and you try to suppress the feeling of comfort looming over your being. You can think coherently now, yet you can’t find anything to say, only counting down the hours until you watch her leave for good. You tilt your head upwards to lay a kiss across her jawline, and the smile playing on her lips doesn’t evade you. You move to straddle her hips as you realize how close to morning it is, and your expression is as determined as it is plaintive. Casey has no reaction to your movements, her hands still cupping your face and her eyes fixed on yours.

“I don’t want that.” She says, looking at your expecting body and sliding her thumb over your swollen lips.

“For closure, right?” You chide, grinding your hips into hers softly—once again, no reaction from the redhead.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Casey admits lowly; your body goes rigidly still atop her.

“Fuck.” You say, closing your eyes and huffing in sheer impiety at her words.

[ducknotinarow]

[2k12 - look i know it would be difficult and all but but listen say yes raph uwu]

Casey was late. He was supposed to be at the lair a good forty minutes ago, and though he had messaged Raph to say he was going to be late, he had gone pretty radio silent since. Not as bad as when he disappeared for three days, but, still enough to cause a faint worry. Thankfully, before anyone could try and break into his house for the 800th time, Casey showed up, bouquet of roses in hand and blush staining his face. Ignoring the looks the others gave him, Casey B-lined it to Raphael; this all seemed very familiar,

"Uh, so, I know it'll be difficult all things considered, but, I'm still gonna ask yer," Casey managed to find his words, clearly having practiced a little before getting to the lair, "But, Raph, woul' yer like t' come t' prom with me?"

| Muse Interaction

When it had come to romance and such? As expected Raphael claimed he didn’t care for it. Growing up Mikey loved watching romantic films all of what Raphael in his full level of maturity would dismiss it all off to be nothing but ‘chick flicks’ calling them boring and lame. Nothing like the movies Raph liked to watch horror films, monster flicks or even action movies were all Raphael feel were the good kind of movies. But, not even his movies were safe from the stupid nonsense. Well least that was what Raphael would complain over if someone else was with him when he watched a movie and some romance plot line came in to the story. Claiming eh it was lame but he likes the movie so he just ignores it. Yet, he always stuck around and watched the so called click flicks Mikey only ever watched, go sucked into romance plot lines in anything he watched. So okay fine maybe just maybe Raphael wasn’t immune to all that crap. He would rather die than ever make it known or express that of course. Romance was stupid he didn’t need it.

Then he got a boyfriend.

Well that sort of changed things not that he ever expected big moments like in the movies he was honestly really happy with how he and Casey sort of went with their own romance. Late nights talking as they tagged the city together, playful banter to hype the other up before running out into a good fight. Those nice softer moment shared between them like napping in Casey’s room when it rained the sleepy pillow talk that would sometimes follow. Looking at Casey’s half lidded stares and hazy brown eyes. How they would smile wide enough to show that gap in their mouth. It always made Raph’s heart do flips to see. When they called him Raphie over Raphael. When they would look at Raph with that stare he never could name. It was just soft and full of love but he only aimed it at Raphael. So okay maybe Raph secretly did like the mushy stuff. Maybe he loved it even when they were just a tad on the sappy side with each other time to time, like Casey teaching him to ice skate, or Raph showing Casey the drums when they sat next to each other, or how much Casey loved any thing he drew for them. It was nice, so nothing wrong with any of that right? Raph can have a soft side for his boyfriend after all right? Not the end of the world or anything. Not like Casey wasn’t the same for him either.

But, that did sometimes leave the turtle to have stupid ideas of things that could never happen. As Raphael once more found himself in all to familiar situation stuff watching one of Mikey’s ‘chick flicks’ some dumb high school drama film. As he let the beck of his head hang over the back of the couch an he groaned out annoyed about it all. The only other people out and about was Leo who was giving the training dummy a few rounds and April who was sitting in the pit with him and Mikey. Don likely locked away in his lab talk to whoever or working on whatever. Moving to pull out his phone once more as he was checking the last text between him and Casey. Nothing new sent since Casey told Raph he was running late and would be late. Well Casey wasn’t exactly one to be prompt or nothing like that. But he also didn’t leave Raph hanging like this either. Guy was too hooked on him after all. Raph lowered his phone back to rest on his plastron as he turned to watch the movie again, better than driving himself nuts he guessed. Watching the main couple he was guessing at least. Raphael quirking his beak a little his mind was empty but he kept watching them on screen and can’t help how his thoughts start to wonder on their own in that moment. Wishing a little to do more stupid stuff like that with his own boyfriend, as he watches the lead couple getting stupidly excited for the school dance and such. Yeah that wasn’t exactly something they could do in fact. As they were scrambling to figure out the perfect way t ask the other. Raph already guess this was all going to be some dumb plot on where they both wanted to ask each other to go to the dance but because they were. They also weren’t talking to each other leading into a lot of miscommunication. Why did stuff with teens always have stupid drama like this in it? Annoying.

Yet here he was getting hooked on to it, was kind of cute how they went to ask, when one thought they were going to break up and ask some other girl, the guy came running after her trying to read off his little written speech. Was Prom that a big deal for humans? Soon moving too sit up and rest on the actual edge of his seat. He was so swept up in the scene playing now. Mikey and April letting out little was when they decided they didn’t need the paper and just asked. Okay maybe that was kind of sweet and cute.

“What a loser,” Raph’s voice contradicts however. Which of course grab Mikey’s own attention now he used to Raph dogging on these films after all so he simply ignores his older brother despite Raph still talking. “If I was the chick I tell that dude to beat it,” Big talk for the red banded turtle and now Mikey’s attention is grabbed as he turns to look over to Raph now.

“It’s so dumb and lame” and something he could never do with Casey and that was why he was being a jerk right now about it “why should she get all mushy cause he asked her to the dance?” Raph shouldn’t have opened his beak or least spoken soon than he was. Because he was in fact going to eat his on words on the statement he just made.

Mikey started to give his own argument of of course Raph had to fight back, to lost in his argument that he hadn’t even noticed when Casey finally showed up despite anyone else saying a hello towards them. Casey seemed to have their target in sight beeling right for the red banded turtle to invested in his fight with his youngest brother needing to be right and win the shouting match. Mikey expression soon changed to a knowing smirk as he moved to crossed his arm over his own plastron.

“Oh yeah don’t think all that mushy stuff means anything uh?” Pointing out behind Raph, least they were kind enough to let it be said to loud for Casey to hear he just wanted Raph to take all of what he said back when they were on the receiving end of something.

“Yeah I-“ Raph paused and noticed how Mikey pointed out over his shoulder, curious he followed only to find Casey making his way over to him. Late, no idea where they were only to show up and come straight to Raphael. Slightly feeling a tad bit of Daja vu hit him as green eyes widen at the sight of Casey holding the bouquet of roses. Raph’s own face stained as red as Casey’s was once he seemed to clue in to the fact oh those were for him? Wait, was that why Casey was late tonight? Slowly moving to stand up from the pit and stand up with his boyfriend. “Are those for me?” He still feels the need to ask even if it may be obvious. All eyes now are the pair of them as everyone was watching this play out now, Raph trying to ignore how he can just feel the weight of all these eyes on them right now and instead focus on. The heck was Casey up to here? Not that he was against it now. Yeah okay maybe guys are said not to want flowers, flowers are for girls. But Looking at the roses in Casey’s hands as the smiled that smile that showed off that gap in their mouth so much. Raph decided maybe boys do want to get flowers, at least he did. If they were coming from Casey.

Moving over to step a big closer to Casey. Not sure what to do with his hands should he take the flowers? Should he wait till Casey hand’s them over? What was with the flowers? Roses? Roses are special right? Did they have any vases in the lair to put them in? Raph’s mind was everywhere at the moment before he finally moved to speak himself lowering his voice as if any of that was going to help keep others from seeing what was going on right now.

“So uh what’s this ‘bout?” Not that Casey needed any reason todo something nice for Raph course not just well it was a tad different so there must be a reason for it right?

"Uh, so, I know it'll be difficult all things considered, but, I'm still gonna ask yer,"

“What is?” Raph followed up with, waiting for Casey to ask whatever it was he wanted to ask? Something difficult? Hmm what could that even be?

"But, Raph, woul' yer like t' come t' prom with me?"

“Prom?” Raph asks but I easily drowned out by the gasp Mikey soon let out and the small squeal high pitch sound they made that followed soon after. Raph turning to look back at his brother before catching sight of everyone around at the time looking expectedly. Mikey seemed beyond happy an smug in the moment Leo? Of course, was making a face as if saying you can’t be serious. April seemed to find it cute from how she was smiling, but none of that helped how Raph’ face was heating up right now as he looked back to Leo who was giving him an expression he knew all to well. Yeah okay he knew he couldn’t actually go to prom. Hell he had no idea why Casey seemed to come up with this idea in the first place as is! He never mentioned prom before? Wait did he? Actually thinking about it he had uh. Least mentioned it was coming up at his school?? What had Raph said that night they talked about it? Raphs pretty sure he made a dumb joke about dances looking lame on tv and how he wouldn’t know since he can’t exactly go?? Was Casey that crazy?! Well yeah probably. Raph slowly shared a glance with Leo he would have to let Casey down easy he knows. But thing is, the second he looked back at Casey he was hit with his only truly weakness.

Large big warm brown eyes, aimed at him. Puppy dog eyes were in full effect right now. Raphael wasn’t all that sure Casey knew he did that when he wanted something. But damn it if they did Raph was going to kick their ass for such a dirty trick. No no come on Raph this will never work it can’t happen! You a mutant turtle monster freak you can’t go to prom. He had to tell himself before look back at Casey, and his adorable blushing face. Those big love sick eyes he had fixed on Raph in the moment. The flowers they likely bought with their own money just for Raphael. Okay he had to take it back he understood the whole scene in that movie now. Stepping closer as he let a soft smile settle over his beak he reached over and took hold of Casey’s hands.

“Course I will,” He tells them before looking away “well I mean not the actual one course, cause turtle but…we’ll do somethin’!” His voice suddenly growing lowers and urgent worried Casey would take it as a no if he wasn’t carful. “I dunno maybe we can sneak in to ya school and chill in the halls” they snunk in before to help April “or maybe we ca go on the roof or set up our own” idea after idea given all in the hope Casey knew Raph was saying yes he didn’t care how stupid this all was and how it never should be something to consider because…well his boyfriend asked him to the dance and that made his heart skip a little in his shell. “We’ll figure somethin’ out. Since ya went and go all sappy for me Kay?”

[hereforhalstead]

Ambo 61

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader 

• Requested:  “I’ve missed being like this with you”

• Warnings: mention of fire/fatality/needles

• Summary: You’re instructed to contact Jay to assist with a fire you’ve been called to and he’s there to support you after dealing with your first faitality.

• Words: 3978

• A/N :  Thanks so much for this request! I’m not over struck with it and it’s quite short but wanted to get it posted - hope you enjoy xx

***

Tonight was your third night shift in a row at the firehouse, starting to take its toll as you slumped around looking for any excuse to take the weight off your feet just for a few moments.

You were grateful Severide had got you the job as paramedic alongside Brett but you were now feeling like you’d been hit by a truck with all of these night shifts.

The firehouse was a close unit, everyone had each other’s back and looked out for one another. This always helped with your down days but everyone hits their breaking points and sometimes the adrenaline rush was the only thing keeping you going.

What made it worse was seeing everyone else seeming to be having the time of their lives, throwing a ball around by the trucks but you slouched in Severide’s chair with your feet kicked up on the table in front of you.

Eyes just about coming to a close as you hear that dreaded alarm which sends everyone running ‘Truck 51. Squad 3. Ambo 61 fire reported on the corner of 8th street” no matter how drained you were it was always able to put that spring in your step and you were in the ambo and out the door in seconds.

You could hear the sirens following closely behind you, scanning your wing mirror to see the parade of flashing lights that tailed down the street and towards the fire.

“You good?” Sylvie asks, snapping you out of your thoughts “night shifts taking their toll, nothing unusual” you joked but she still mirrored the look of concern on her face with her furrowed brows and occasional glare at you as she drove.

“Really I’m fine. Just looking forward to being in my own bed” you gazed out in front of you as you continued on towards the scene “Not long girl, only a few hours to go” she gives you her doting smile as she slams her foot down on the peddle to speed through an intersection

“everything alright with you and Jay?” She asks and you shrug “only see him for a few hours these days and even then it’s mostly when he’s asleep and I’m sat on the sofa wide awake” you admit, letting the words fall out of your mouth before you can even think about it.

“He’s so proud of you though” her cheery voice changes the tone of conversation “I always hear him brag about you in Molly’s, you’ve got yourself a good’un there Y/N” you feel the heat rise to your cheeks and smile creep on your face “i just miss him” you huff and reach for the energy drink that was by your side.

“I thought Jay told you to not drink those anymore” she utters as the truck comes to a stop, making her way to your side after grabbing the medic bag from the back.

“He’s not here right now” you remind her “What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” you add, causing her to cock her eyebrow at you and chuckle “You’re brave”.

You put Sylvies comment to the back of your mind as you head over to the scene in front of you, Casey already with his team positioning the engine by the fire hydrant across the street whist Severide and the squad were storming over to the building that was currently ablaze.

You had barely stepped over the threshold as a girl no older than 5 came sprinting towards you, wrapping herself round your legs as she clung to you with all of her might. Whilst your mind was now on the young girl, a woman who was presumably the mother quickly followed in running out of the building and towards you.

She gripped at your shoulder as Sylvie eased her off of you, stood in shock as you barely had a chance to familiarise and asses the situation before being presented with two victims.

After several rounds of tests, being confident that neither of the victims required rushing to med for urgent treatment you helped them wrap up and had the oxygen masks placed round their necks just in case they felt the need.

Whilst securing the young girls blanket you thought back to you sat in the chair an hour ago, nearly asleep and wishing to not hear that alarm but here you were.

Back with your head on the job and dedicating yourself to the people who needed you, proving to yourself that you were good enough and deserved your spot with the great team you had surrounding you.

You looked up to see the fire dwindling out and Casey rounding up his team, Severide was retracting the ladders back onto the truck as the rest of the squad shuffled out of the fragile building that barely stood in front of you. 

You were awaiting the go ahead from the Chief that you could leave, taking a swig from your energy drink and placing it back into the front of the ambo where you were earlier sat. Making your way round to the back of the truck to sit with the mother and daughter, still understandably shaken but doing well considering how bad things could have been.

“How long have you lived here?” You questioned, making small talk to pass the time and attempt to keep their minds preoccupied “Nearly 4 years, we moved in when I was pregnant and haven’t looked back since” the mother opens up, the young girl under her arm beside her.

You shifted your focus onto the girl, sat staring at the ground with her head hung low to lean on her elbows “How you doing sweetie?” You asked but didn’t get a response. The mother looked down on her daughter, you moved yourself so you could be in front of her and reach her eye level.

“You tell the lady if something hurts or you don’t feel well Claudia?” Still no response, you gently reach your hand to place on her shoulder but she flinches “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you” you whisper, leaning towards her for empathy “Will my daddy be okay?” Her voice cracks and you look to the mother who looks just as puzzled as you.

“Daddy’s at work, honey?” She asks with the same panic and confusion laced in her tone “I saw him come through the back door just before the fire started” she confesses “He was with another man who told him he was in trouble” she continues and you scan around to see if they pulled anyone else out of the fire but you had no such luck.

“And you’re sure your daddy was in the house before the fire?” You yet again ask to try and get the facts before you go off and panic to one of the others “I’m positive!” She raises her voice but you try to keep her calm.

“is he going to be okay?” She probes towards her Mother but you excuse yourself to go and talk to Severide who stood on the other side of the truck with Casey.

“You guys pull anyone else out of there?” You question but can tell by the looks on their faces and the happiness in their banter they thought it was a successful save with two victims being relatively unharmed, their faces fall as they realise what you’re asking

“Just the two” Severide answers before Casey nods in agreement “Only the mother and daughter, rest of the place was clear” he adds, sounding confident in his answer. “You mind going inside to do one more double check? She seems certain her dad was inside when the place went up but the mother doesn’t seem to have a clue” you quietly recount to the two lieutenants who waste no time in rounding up a few of their team and heading back inside.

You decide to wait by the rig to avoid more questions from the victims as you really had no answers and didn’t feel right speaking to them before you knew more.

Minutes go by and your eyes are pinned to the door that the men walked through just moments before, nervously biting on your fingernails and feeling your heart pounding in your chest. Silently hoping it was from the energy drink and not the nauseous feeling you had in the pit of your stomach that you knew something wasn’t going right.

Casey appears at the door and nods his head for you to go over, you follow his command and find yourself bounding over “you might wanna call your boy toy” he murmurs, aware of the close proximity of the mother and daughter that sat close by “Jay?” You question to which he nods “We got a body.”

You do as you’re told and call Jay who you can hear immediately gathers up the available Intelligence members and leaves the district. You head back to the ambo, trying to hurry yourself but also attempting to not raise suspicion as you’re being intently watched by both the mother and daughter who sat before you “what’s going on?”

The mother stands and makes her way over to you and the front of the truck “I’m just gonna need you to stay with your daughter ma’am” you try and be as aversive as possible whilst already knowing that wasn’t going to be enough for the distressed lady “Was my husband in there?” She asks, dread and fear laced through her voice as she stands with her arms crossed over her chest trying to hold herself together.

Before you have a chance to speak, you’re interrupted by the sound of sirens coming from down the street, you turn to see several trucks speeding down towards you. Jay and Voight in the first vehicle that screeches to a stop, closely followed by Adam, Hailey and Kevin who are soon to follow suit and begin to push back nosey neighbours.

“What’s going on?” Jay heads over to you with Voight hot on his heels “Hailey” you call out to catch her attention and of course she is quick to leave the bystanders to Kevin and Adam as she joins you with Voight and Jay.

“Can you just stay with the mother? Sylvie is keeping an eye on the daughter but I need you to keep her calm” you plead and she nods and turns to introduce herself to the mother “Why don’t we take a seat?” She suggests as she geustures towards the back of the ambo where Claudia is sat.

Surprisingly she obliges and follows her guide, stopping to do the occasional double take but soon being out of sight and back with her daughter.

“You gonna tell us what’s going on?” Voight wastes not time to question as you take them over to Casey who is still in the doorway waiting for them “she said she saw her dad in the house before the fire but the mother had no idea as she thought he was at work.

They went back into investigate and” you’re cut off by a body bag passing you, the vile smell hitting you as it goes by. You quickly turn your head to try and avoid it but it was inescapable.

Jay places his hand to the top of your back as he furrows his brows in concern “you good?” He probes, concentration now more on you as Voight speaks to Casey “Good” you reassure, smile flashing on your face but he remains stern as you feel his eyes bore into you as you turn your attention back onto Voight and Casey .

“We didn’t spot it at first, he was crouched in this room that we didn’t know existed behind one of the cabinets” Casey ushers the three of you into the building, still feeling the warmth coming from the torn apart walls and the smell of ash clogging your every thought.

“Any ID?” Voight let’s himself into the room Casey had just mentioned, Jay allows you to step in first before following. The room was tiny, shocked it could fit a grown man at all, looking more like a pantry that was never used or something they intended on expanding but never did as it laid empty for all these years.

“What am I gonna tell her?” You mumble, feeling the lump in your throat and the thought of explaining the situation to the already shaken up pair sat outside “we’ll do it” Jay is quick to answer, you’re relieved to see Voight nod in agreement and not rip into Jay for speaking before thinking.

A less than helpful tendency he had when it came to you but in this case he was right as it was up to them to break the news to the family and not on you. You still wanted to be there as they relaid the heartbreaking information to the mother, being a familiar face made all the difference in these situations and whether you liked it or not you had to put that to one side and be there for support.

You watched as Jay respectfully informed the mother, watching the blood drain from her face and the strength leave her body as she began to fall to the ground.

You and Jay both instinctively lunged forward to catch her, pulling her up to now being held in Jay’s arms as she sobbed into his chest “I can’t tell Claudia, they were so close” she uttered through your tears and your heart broke, you were fortunate enough to be on the job long enough to have your fair share of threatening injuries but so far no fatalities.

You were soon learning on the job what it was like to deal with it first hand. You scan over to Hailey and Sylvie who were now both with the young girl, oblivious to her mother’s sobs as she faces away in deep distraction “why don’t we get you both to med and we can go from there?” You suggest, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder to which she nods, still buried in Jay’s chest and clutching at his arms.

You do your best to slowly unwrap her tight grasp from Jay and pull her towards you, her tear stained face was now bright red and body temperature rocketing in stress.

“Go with Y/N and we will be in touch when we have some more news” Jay consoles, still with a quiet and calming voice to try and not add to the intense situation. You had never seen him like this at work, he’d been called to a number of your jobs but only to help with rough crowds or to arrest a suspect who was injured.

He helped you through this process whether he knew it or not, if it wasn’t for him staying so calm who knows how you would’ve handled it..

Sylvie peers her head round the side of the ambo and calls out to the mother “we’ve got a little girl back here who wants her mother” she tilts her heads towards the girl before noticing the state she was in.

You give a subtle shake of your head which she thankfully spots “on second thought, why don’t you ride in the back with me and my partner will take care of your mother” she speaks to young girl in an excited tone to try and deflect away from where you were stood with Jay and the devestated woman.

“Yeah!” Claudia exclaims before climbing into the back of the ambo and settling on the seat “I can do it, I need to be with her” you hear the timid voice from beside you crack with every word. She takes a deep inhale and wipes away the tears that had stained her cheeks.

“If you need anything, give me a call no matter what hour” Jay hands her his card with a comforting smile. He flicks his eyes over you as you guide the woman towards the back of the ambo “keep me updated” he points at you to which you nod before he heads back over to join Voight who was still in the house with the rest of the team.

**

A few hours go by and you’re on your way from med, truly drained and ready to crash in your bed at the station. What started as luckily, a less than intense fire soon took a turn and had you put through your paces when you were least expecting it.

You and Sylvie both sat in silence, finishing the last of your energy drink as you toss the empty can by your feet “you still drinking that? It’s like 10pm” Sylvie chuckles as you keep your eyes staring out of the window at the darkness, her hands clinging to the steering wheel as you sat back in your seat and huffed.

“you remember the first time you see a dead body?” You question, avoiding her comments about the energy drink as you really weren’t in the mood.

“Yep. Turned up to a house call, man said his wife had been quiet and had locked herself in the bedroom, we got in and there she was laid on the floor with a needle sticking out of her arm” she woefully speaks, eyes still firmly on the road

“as much as I try and forget it, it will never leave me” she adds but you remain silent “Did you see him?” She asks to break the silence that had fallen in the ambo, the only noise being the humming of the engine and equipment clanging in the back.

“Not even, just a body bag” you admit “that shook me up enough, who knows what I’m gonna be like with an actual body” you slump further into your chair, crossing your legs in the footwell.

“maybe I’m not cut out for this” you confess and feel her eyes snap to you “are you crazy? You’ve just experienced your first fatality and you still managed to keep calm and I most importantly keep the others calm” slight strain in her voice as she continues to speak

“If you’re not doubting your job after a rough call, you didn’t do it right”.

Her words play in your mind for the rest of the journey, resting your head on the window as you pull into the station. You open the door to jump out when she tugs on your hand to stop you.

“You did good Y/N. Don’t let anyone tell you different” you give her a half hearted smile before stepping down out of the vehicle. Slamming the door behind you with a deep exhale “oh, her day has just got a whole lot better” you hear her chime, your head hanging low as you make your way over to the other side to join her.

You turn the corner to see Jay stood besides Severide, signature mischievous grin and arms outstretched towards you “you really think I wouldn’t be here waiting for you?” He questions as you stroll over to him, wanting to bound into his arms but knowing how you’d never hear the end of it from the surrounding team which now all had their eyes on you.

“come on” Sylvie grabs at Kelly’s arm “let’s give them a moment” she ushers him away from the pair of you as you stand engulfed in Jay’s arms.

“You still working?” You question, leaning into Jay’s chest as he runs his fingertips up and down your back “Finished hours ago, been waiting here for you” he mumbles into the top of your head as he places a kiss to your temple.

“Thought I could stay here tonight? Can’t sleep alone in that bed for another night, I’ll go insane” you pull back to see his toothy grin beaming down onto you as you feel your heart pull

“you’re gonna stay here? With me?” You question, still latched onto his chest as he gently pushes your hair back from your face “that alright?”.

You nod into him but still want to stay wrapped up in his presence as you feel everything wash away and all of the stress dissolve in your body when he holds you. “Come on, let’s get you to your bed” he gently taps at your lower back, signalling for you to unattach yourself from him.

You resist your urges and escape his grasp but he soon slings his arm round your shoulders to pull you back into him as you walk towards the station bunks.

“I haven’t heard great things about these from you so if I get a bad back we know why” he chuckles into your hair as he places a kiss to the side of your head as you continue to walk.

“That isn’t an energy drink I smell is it?” He pulls you under his arm and closer into him. You clear your throat as he does his best to remain stern “uh, no. Just fumes” you try to slightly pull away to reduce the smell but he had you in his hold and you both knew you weren’t getting out “ah those classic fumes, always forget about those”.

You and Jay laid in silence on your station bed, luckily in the corner to stay away from prying eyes which you know your nosey team would have.

Laying content as you find your natural position with your head on him and his arm wrapped around you, hand splayed on your hip as the other absentmindedly fiddles with your fingers resting on chest.

The silence isn’t uncomfortable and awkward, feeling the need to start small talk in efforts to make some form of conversation. Instead it’s a comfortable silence, filled with happiness and content with being back where you belong.

Jay let’s out a deep exhale as he rubs light circles into your skin but keeps his eyes on the ceiling above “you know you can always talk to me” he whispers, aware of other people in the room behind asleep.

You angle your head to look up at him, catching his attention as he glances down at you “I’ll get over it, just another day at the office” you try and make light of the situation but he wasn’t having it.

“I’m serious” he scowls but not out of anger, more of concern “I don’t want you bottling this up” he runs his thumb over your temple in a comforting motion “I won’t, I promise” you return your head back to his chest as he intertwines your fingers with his.

“I’ve missed being like this with you” he confesses, seemingly out of the blue as you return to your comfortable silence. You place a kiss to the exposed skin through the neckline of his T-shirt and nuzzle further into the crook of his neck “I missed you too”.

He lets out a content hum as he tightens his grip on your side and closing the near enough already nonexsistant gap between the pair of you “my life isn’t the same without you in it” he whispers but by this point you’ve closed your eyes and we’re dozing in and out of sleep, soothed by the soft rhythm within his chest “sleep tight baby”.

***

Inbox and requests always open🥰

[uswntxfootball]

subtle hints (jackie groenen x muwfc!reader)

surprisingly, an injury might just be the turning point you needed.

(ft. preath as team moms)

word count: 2697 ish

rated T for this is feeding into my massive jackie crush but oh well and F for fluffy babies

——

christen shook her head as she watched you and jackie from across the field.

you were laughing at something jackie said, completely missing the loving stare the midfielder gave you.

“she’s so oblivious isn’t she?”

christen nods at tobin, who then wraps her arms around her.

“if i were pinoe i would intervene, but i’m not, so i guess we’ll just have to see who does it first,” christen sighs.

“i’ll-“

“tobin no we’re not going to bet on people’s lives!”

“shh i wasn’t done talking. i’ll bet you a coffee date that it’s y/n.”

christen thought about it for a minute.

“are you kidding? it’s totally going to be jackie. you’re on.”

tobin and christen glanced back at the two of you, jackie letting out a squeal when you pick her up over your shoulder and run around.

the two watch in silence until tobin says:

“wait isn’t jackie a judo champion?”

~~

“yeah i’m just really grateful for this team, casey’s done a really good job bringing us-“

your interview is interrupted when jackie jumps onto your back.

you grunt at the impact and stumble a bit before maintaining your balance again.

“jacks im in an interview,” you mutter quietly.

jackie only gives the interviewer a charming smile before laying her chin on your head, mumbling back:

“so what? i can still scare you whenever i want.”

the way she said it made you just a little bit nervous.

it sounded almost, flirty.

your heart skipped a little at the prospect of that but you shook it off and gave the interviewer a smile.

“sorry what was the question again?”

you finished the interview a few minutes later with jackie still on your back.

“you gave me a heart attack earlier you know?”

jackie just giggled and said:

“oh i know, that was the point.”

you rolled your eyes and pretended to drop her, the midfielder letting out a yelp when you do so, but when you catch her again she slaps the back of your head.

“don’t do that you-“

“oh sorry did i give you a heart attack?”

jackie huffs in annoyance but still wraps her arms around your neck.

the two of you walked- well more like you walked back to the locker room, manchester united having just won their game against west ham.

the locker room was met with cheers, especially aimed at tobin and christen, who both got their first goals this game (and russo who had a brace).

all through casey’s locker room speech, jackie was next to you on the bench with her head on your shoulder.

your eyes met christen’s, who gave you a knowing smile but you just responded by tilting your head in confusion.

to add to your confusion, when tobin turned to christen, she saw the two of you gave you a teasing wink, with you just furrowing your eyebrows in response.

however, the second half of casey’s briefing was barely heard by you, because in jackie’s boredom she decided to start running her fingers up and down you leg.

yeah there’s no way you could focus on what casey was saying.

across the room tobin almost bursts out laughing.

“y/n looks like she’s about to combust.”

christen looks at you after tobin’s whisper and has to bite back a smile upon seeing your state.

luckily for you the second half of the briefing was fairly short, and when casey dismissed everyone, you shot up out of your seat, a blush crawling up your neck.

“are you okay?” a concerned jackie asked from beside you.

“no i’m fine just- just had to stretch my legs that’s all. they were falling asleep.”

jackie furrows her eyebrows a little but nods, accepting that response.

on your way back to the bus, jackie grabbed your hand and intertwined her fingers with yours, pulling you with her.

your cheeks flushed red at the act, but you followed her nonetheless.

she held your hand through the remainder of the trip all the way back to the apartment you shared with her, christen, and tobin, who gave you very pointed looks through it all.

tobin whispers to christen when she sees jackie give you a kiss on the cheek.

“y/n is so oblivious that i agree with you it’s going to be jackie. is it too late us to call off the bet?”

~~

you jumped up and down, nerves eating up at you in the locker room.

you were the last one left in the room, everyone else having walked out and began warming up.

it was the game against arsenal, one of the most hyped games of the FAWSL, one that would determine who would sit atop the league table.

and you were in your head.

you often had prematch nerves, but they got especially bad in big games.

you were worried.

what if you messed up?

what if you had the one chance and you blew it and then-

“you know everyone is outside right?”

a soft voice took you out of your thoughts and you spun around to see jackie, with an even softer smile plastered on her face.

your nerves were clearly visible, jackie let out a knowing sigh before adding:

“you’ll do great y/n. you’re one of the best forwards i know and you’ll kill it today okay?”

you gulp and nod, still jumping up and down, trying to shake off your nerves.

jackie watches you for a little bit before pulling you into a hug.

your jumping stops and your body softens immediately at the contact, releasing all the tension and stress you had up to that point.

the two of you stood silent for a while, your body sagging into hers, the midfielder’s hand tracing patterns onto your back.

when jackie pulls away a few moments later and looks at you with so much admiration in her eyes, it makes your heart stop in your chest for just a bit.

the two of you forget your surroundings, your hands falling to her waist while hers sat around your neck.

unbeknownst to you, you were glancing at jackie’s lips, and she noticed, a faint blush present on her cheeks.

then before anything could happen,

“hey what are you guys-oh.”

jackie turned and shot away from you so fast it was a wonder that she didn’t get whiplash from it.

tobin stood frozen in the doorway.

you were confused.

you stood there glancing back and forth between tobin and jackie, one frozen in the doorway (still) and the other sporting a bright red blush.

“what’s happening?”

no one answered your question, and the three of you stood in silence until tobin snapped out of her phase and muttered:

“fuck chris is going to kill me.”

and now you were even more confused.

“what? can someone tell me what’s happening?”

jackie cleared her throat before saying:

“nothing! let’s all get back to warmups now!”

with that said, jackie rushed out onto the pitch, leaving you and a very bothered tobin in the room.

you glanced at tobin in confusion once more, and followed jackie out of the room.

~~

it was tough, no doubt about it.

the game was deadlocked at 0-0 for the entirety of the first half, and everyone was getting a little frustrated at it.

after a brief halftime talk, the second half began and everything was fine until the 60th minute.

you get the ball via a short pass from jackie, and you were making a good run up the pitch before you saw her.

daan was chasing you and slid in, tackling you and knocking the ball away.

her tackle was unfortunately a little late.

you fell at an awkward angle, your ankle twisting slightly in the process as you go down with a pained cry.

jackie’s at your side in a flash, face full of worry.

seconds later christen and tobin run over, the former cradling your head as tobin calls for the medical team to take a look at you.

“it hurts,” you mutter quietly.

“oh i know i know everything will be fine okay?” christen said soothingly, gently stroking your head.

as the medical team arrive, they take one look at your ankle before giving you a diagnosis.

you would have to sit out.

for the next few weeks.

it was sprained.

fuck.

suddenly you hear a loud scream in dutch, looking up to see jackie face to face with daan.

the normally happy and smiley girl was livid now, screaming at the other dutch midfielder.

you saw christen nudge tobin to get up to try to console jackie, and viv and jill hopped in as well to calm the two dutch midfielders.

jackie still didn’t relent, screaming at the three of them now in addition to daan, mostly in dutch so tobin was left in a very confused state.

you had enough.

“help me up.”

christen furrowed her eyebrows.

“no, y/n you need to lie still you’ll hurt-“

“i said help me up.”

“y/n no.”

“if you don’t help me up i will figure out a way to get up by myself.”

christen sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose before relenting.

by now beth came to console daan, who seemed to calm down a little bit with the forward beside her.

you fight your way out of christen’s grasp and hobble over towards jackie, who at this point is still screaming, and place a hand on her shoulder.

she stops immediately and turns around to look at you.

“why are you up?! your ankle- you need to-“

“jack. calm down i’m okay.”

“no you’re not! you shouldn’t be up- you need to lie down you’ll hurt your ankle if you keep standing and-“

“jack. seriously. i’m okay.”

jackie nodded with a little bit of uncertainty, worry written all over her face.

“promise me something?”

“depends on what it is,” jackie said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

“promise me you won’t kill daan?”

“she went for your ankle! how can i-“

“promise me.”

“i promise i will try not to-“

“jack.”

“fine fine i promise.”

“okay good. i’m fine okay?”

jackie nodded, giving you a hug before trying to help you off the pitch.

“jack you still have a game to play,” you laugh.

“i don’t care i just want to help you-“

“i will call casey if you don’t let go of me.”

jackie gasps.

“you wouldn’t.”

“watch me.”

“i-“

“casey! one of your midfielders is running away!”

“you’re an asshole you know that?” jackie mutters.

you give her a cheeky grin before she whispers again:

“i’d punch you if you weren’t injured.”

“groenen!”

jackie’s head whips around when she gets called by casey, and she relents, letting you make your way off the pitch with the medics.

~~

christen gets subbed out in the 75th minute.

she comes in to check on you immediately.

“how’s the ankle?”

you let out a defeated sigh before saying:

“sprain. i’ll be out for the next month.”

christen wraps her arms around you to comfort you.

“did jackie kill daan?” you mumble, face covered by christen’s arm.

“no your girlfriend didn’t kill anyone.”

you blush a little at her words.

“she’s not my girlfriend,” you pout.

christen pulls back to look at you.

“yet.”

“chris!”

“i’m just saying!”

“jackie’s not my girlfriend. plus hypothetically speaking, even if i did like her she doesn’t even like me back.”

“you don’t know that!”

“yes i do i-“

“you won’t know if you don’t ask her.”

“i said hypothetically! i don’t like her! she’s just my best friend!”

“sure y/n, i mean tobin and i were best friends once.”

“that’s different.”

“is it though?”

upon seeing your silence, christen pulled back a little bit and gave you another hug.

both of you jump when you hear screaming and cheers outside, most likely from someone finally scoring a goal.

“i think we scored.”

“how do you know?”

christen blushed before saying, “i’m pretty sure i just heard tobin cheer.”

you fake a gag and christen gives you a little shove.

the two of you talk a bit about how you’re adjusting to manchester and about the us team.

the clicking of cleats on the ground is what makes the both of you look up.

“what’s-“

“hi jack.”

christen shot up out of her seat.

“i’m going to go look for tobin.”

the forward hurriedly rushed out of the room and now it was just the two of you in the room.

the midfielder walked a bit more until she was right in front of you.

“how’s the ankle?”

“oh just a sprain, don’t worry jack.”

“how long are you going to be out?”

“about a month.”

jackie lets out frustrated sigh and runs her hands through her ponytail.

“i should’ve broken her ankles-“

“jack!”

you try to stand up, before jackie shoves you back down.

“no. you’re going to hurt yourself. stop.”

you sigh and pout, looking up at the midfielder.

fuck she’s pretty.

“pouting won’t work y/n, even if it is cute.”

your cheeks flush hard at her words.

maybe christen was right?

maybe you did like her?

“hey.”

jackie’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“what’s on your mind?”

you shake your head, whispering a quick “nothing” before glancing down at your bandaged ankle.

you let in a sharp intake of breath when jackie tilted your head up with her hand propped under your chin.

“no what’s the matter?”

you gulp, trying your best not to get lost in the midfielder’s strikingly blue eyes.

“i- i like you,” you blurt out suddenly, cheeks flushing red at your sudden confession.

jackie’s eyes widen a little in surprise but her grip under your chin never falters.

“i-“

jackie’s response gets cut off when tobin walks in.

“hey! how’s my favorite forward do-“

the older forward stops suddenly upon seeing the position the two of you are in, and backs away slowly.

both of you laugh at her reaction, before you turn to one another.

at this point jackie still hadn’t replied and you were getting a little nervous.

“i get it if you don’t want to be friends with me or something- i didn’t mean to make it weird and-“

you’re cut off by jackie’s laugh.

you furrow your eyebrows.

“and now you’re laughing? did i do something?”

jackie looked at you, eyes bright before saying:

“i’m just relieved. i’ve been flirting with you ever since you joined united dummy.”

“oh. oh.”

your cheeks are a little red, and you start to say:

“oh um i’m a little oblivious i guess? i’m-“

jackie cuts you off when she kisses you.

you gasp a little in surprise but kiss her back softly, pulling her down into your lap.

your hands fell to her waist, one of jackie’s arms draped over your shoulder.

tobin’s wolf whistle is what makes the two of you break away.

the two of you hear a slap and a “tobin!” and a “sorry!” before you turn to the doorway.

you blush when you see casey and the majority of the team (and some of the arsenal players) who came to check on you.

jackie suddenly realized the position she was in and shot up out of your lap, face painted scarlet.

thank god for you, casey didn’t comment on it, only briefing you a bit over your ankle.

however, your teammates weren’t as kind.

as soon as casey left the room cheers and whistles broke out.

“damn jackie!”

“that’s why you were trying to kill daan!”

“aw your girlfriend got injured!”

you and jackie stood blushing, but all and all you were met with lots of supportive teasing.

“hey who said it first?”

you blushed before muttering, “i did.”

“YES YOU OWE ME A COFFEE DATE CHRIS!”

christen lets out a sigh before mumbling:

“i shouldn’t have helped you y/n.”

[rookie-ramsey]

Across the Universe, Chapter Two

Description: All the medical training in the world couldn’t prepare Ethan for a terminal brain cancer diagnosis.

Preview: The confession rolled from her lips before she had a chance to think twice. “I… showed Harper your scans to get her opinion. She thinks it could be partially operable.”

Ethan’s expression faltered, his brow furrowing in anger. “You showed Harper my charts after I asked you not to?”

Warning: Terminal cancer and eventual major character death. Read with caution.

Previous Chapter

Olivia rapped her knuckles against Harper’s door. Her breathing shallowed with anxiety in the moment that passed before Harper called, “Come in!”

Taking a deep breath, Olivia gained some sense of composure and let herself into the office. “Dr. Emery… Harper, may I ask a favor?”

“Of course. What do you need?”

Olivia’s face heated with worry as she handed Harper the envelope. Even if she’d taken any trace of Ethan’s name off of them, she couldn’t suppress the guilt she felt for going behind his back. “These are some scans and test results. Glioblastoma multiforme, right frontal lobe.”

Harper’s smile faded as she took the charts and studied them. “I don’t remember a patient being admitted with this condition.”

“It’s… not one of our patients. It’s a friend of mine from school. He reached out to me but wants to keep it to himself until he knows anything. I promised I’d get him a second opinion as a John Doe,” Olivia lied, guilt gripping her heart.

Whether Harper suspected something or not, Olivia didn’t know. She watched nervously as Harper scrutinized the films.

“I’m sure you know that this is the most aggressive type of brain tumor. They grow quickly and new ones can develop in other regions of the brain.”

“I know. I just… I thought maybe you’d know more than I do. I know it’s probably inoperable, but…”

“GBMs are usually inoperable because of the way the cells develop in the brain tissue,” Harper confirmed. “Even if there’s a chance of removing a portion of it, it’s not possible to remove every trace. The tumor would inevitably return.”

“What would you do?”

“If this were my patient… I’d start with targeted radiation and chemo. If the tumor shrunk after a few weeks, I’d remove as much as possible and follow with another course of treatment.”

Olivia nodded. “And what prognosis would you normally give? I know the usual prognosis is five to seven months without treatment, twelve to eighteen with.”

“That’s right. The five-year survival rate is less than five percent. I think you were right to ask for another opinion, but… you know that with or without treatment, this cancer is brutal.”

Olivia inhaled sharply and managed another nod. “I know. I just… I guess it’s harder to think when it’s a friend. I know to watch for worsening pain, personality changes, cognitive and emotional problems…”

“Those are all to be expected. As the condition worsens, expect problems with balance and coordination, vision problems, emotional and cognitive problems… almost every function suffers.” Harper glanced at her curiously. “Whatever your friend needs… you know where to refer him.”

“Yeah.” Olivia’s heart stuttered as she hoped Harper didn’t see through her lie. She felt guilty enough for going behind Ethan’s back and lying to Harper, but she knew Ethan would be livid if anyone found out before he was ready. “I’ll let you know if we need anything. Thank you.”

“Any time, Olivia.”

Olivia turned and left Harper’s office. As she walked down the hall, Harper’s words rang in her mind.

Six to eight months without treatment, twelve to eighteen with treatment.

An involuntary shudder went through her. Whether to accept treatment or not would be Ethan’s decision, but she knew that Harper was right. Regardless of which decision Ethan made, whatever lay ahead would be excruciating.

In the hours that passed, she saw little of Ethan. Olivia tried to concentrate on her patients, pouring her focus onto her rounds and clinic duty.  Still, nothing was enough to pull her attention away from Ethan’s diagnosis.

“Dr. Winchester? Did you hear me?”

Olivia startled, blinking and forcing an apologetic smile for their patient. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I didn’t. But you have my attention now.”

“Tyler was just telling us that the headache started suddenly in the past few days. He had a brief episode of blindness in one eye yesterday,” Tobias supplied, glancing at her curiously.

“Right.” Olivia nodded and flipped through the patient’s charts. “Your scans from Mass General all came back clear. “How long did the blindness last?”

“About six hours. I just said that.”

Olivia sighed. “I’m sorry. Migraines can cause pain localized to one side of the head and visual disturbances, but not total blindness. I think we should run another set of scans to make sure they didn’t miss anything at Mass General. If they come back clean, we’ll start with some labs.”

Their patient looked skeptical. “Is there really any point in doing more scans?”

“We have the best equipment on the market. It may catch something that they missed at the other hospital. Even if everything comes back normal, we don’t want to risk missing a tumor.”

“I guess so.”

Olivia nodded, relieved. “We’ll be back in a few minutes to get you prepped.” She closed the patient’s folder and quietly followed Tobias out of the room.

“You seemed a little distracted in there. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just have some stuff going on outside of work. I’ll be fine,” she lied, suspecting Tobias didn’t believe her even if he dropped the issue.

She didn’t see Ethan until the end of their shift. She found him in his office, his attention on his computer screen. “Hi.”

Ethan startled, looking up from the journal he’d been staring at until the words blurred. “Oh. There you are. Ready to go?”

“Yeah. What are you reading?” she asked as she shrugged out of her white coat and replaced it with her jacket.

Ethan hesitated for a long moment. “An article about the average prognosis for glioblastoma multiforme.”

“Oh.” The flat tone to his voice told her everything she needed to know about what he’d read. She fell silent, letting her gaze fall on him. “Ethan, I…”

“What is it?”

The confession rolled from her lips before she had a chance to think twice. “I… showed Harper your scans to get her opinion. She thinks it could be partially operable.”

Ethan’s expression faltered, his brow furrowing in anger. “You showed Harper my charts after I asked you not to?”

She didn’t know why, but Olivia felt her defenses go up. “I took your name off of them. As far as she knows, it’s one of my friends who reached out to me. I know I shouldn’t have gone behind your back, and I’m sorry. But I didn’t think we should just accept that there’s absolutely nothing we can do.”

Visibly frustrated, Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I said that I would tell people myself when I was ready. Getting a second opinion won’t change a thing.”

“But maybe it would give us some ideas. And it did. Harper described a treatment plan that she’s seen some success with. It’s… it’s not much, but it’s something.”

Ethan shook his head and let out a sigh. “With any course of action, the five-year-survival rate is still in the low single digits. I need time to decide what to do. I’m not making a decision based on false hope.”

Her eyes stung with the threat of tears. Refusing to let them fall, Olivia hesitated before speaking again. “I know. But… just think about it. Please?”

Ethan didn’t react right away. After a moment, he nodded so faintly that she almost missed it. “I need some time to think.”

Olivia’s frown deepened when he handed her his car keys. “Where are you going?”

“For a walk. You can take my car home. I’ll be there later. Don’t be worried if I’m late.”

Her expression gave way to one of frustration. “How am I supposed to go home and not worry about you?”

“I don’t know,” Ethan sighed, refusing to meet her eyes. “But I’ll be home later. I need some time to myself.”

“Ethan, just-“ she stopped when he left the room without another word.

Tags, part 1

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[utterlyinevitable]

Hello! Ethan x MC! Please 20. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

thank you so much for this request! i’m sorry if it’s not what you were imagining 😬

20. things you said i wasn’t meant to hear

From the things you said prompt list.  Send me a pairing and number and I’ll write a mini fic!

—

RunAway

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Becca Lao) x Ethan Rating: Teen+ Summary: Becca left Bryce’s place before he woke up and overhears something she certainly shouldn’t have heard between Naveen and Ethan.  Trope: Issues; Ethan Confession; Jealous  

A/N: this is in the trials and tribulations universe and directly follows Not A Choice.

—

Becca left before Bryce woke up. Wriggled out of his secure arms and gathered her things in the 5:40AM darkness. 

She didn’t go to work (too soon). She didn’t go to her apartment (too many questions). She didn’t go to the gym (too early for that shit). She didn’t really know where else to go. 

So her feet made the decision for her. 

Derry Roasters was dimly lit, the comfy dark wooden décor brightening with every passing second dusk turned to angelic morning. Becca ordered a coffee and breakfast sandwich then retreated to the farthest corner, away from the six other patrons making use of the compact seating area. She was glad to see not a single colleague from the hospital. 

Staring at the wall, her back to the rest of the world and hood pulled up enough to cover her face, she ate. Slowly. Every bite a chomp, hard and grinding her teeth more than necessary to offset the gnawing in her chest. The clawing of growing guilt she’s been carrying around and near-bubbling over. 

She checked the time on her phone. 

Still two hours until shift. Bryce would be getting up any minute now. Maybe she should grab some food and head back? Tell him she’s sorry for startling him and pretend she didn’t run away. Bring him a remorse muffin.  

Just as she was about to move - pack up and go - something stopped her - 

She felt him well before the familiar voice confirmed the sensation. 

“Another sabbatical? Ethan, be reasonable.” 

Naveen. 

Shit. 

Becca sat back down and made herself smaller, hunching over and burying her face in the hood more. Her espresso colored eyes finding the stained grooves of the wooden table all too interesting. 

Shit shit shit. 

“I assure you, I am.” 

Ethan’s voice was noncommittal. The words dry and devoid of any feeling, as if he was making a throwaway comment to someone in passing, and not being confronted by his closest, oldest friend. 

Naveen tried to be coy; “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your fight with a resident earlier?” 

A humorless chortle left the diagnostician. “Hardly,” he chided. “If they cannot handle a spat with me they’re certainly not cut out to be a physician.” 

“Ethan...” Naveen’s voice was stern in his admonishment. 

Becca wished she could turn around. To take in their nonverbal cues. There’s only so much she could derive from all the way over here. Part of her wanted to make a silent escape; hoped they wouldn’t continue the conversation here and take their orders to go and she could slip out unwittingly. 

A sicker side of her couldn’t believe what she was hearing. And it stung to know that he’s not as tuned to her presence as she is to his.  

As quietly as Becca could she searched her pockets and her backpack for headphones. She didn’t want to hear this. Especially not right now. 

Nothing. 

She presses her lips together as tight as possible to hold in her groan, knowing she’s forced to suffer further. No crutch, no prominent discussions, just her head and heart at war with her ears; keenly apt to know how he’s dealing with things. 

She could feel Ethan take a resigned sigh before answering Naveen truthfully. “Not entirely, no.” 

Oxygen froze in her lungs. Was he actually about to disclose his truest feelings? 

Everyone took pause as the pair moved from the counter to a table.

Becca heard the two chairs screech along the floor, the clink of porcelain touching wood, and the two doctors shuffle around to get comfortable. 

“I’m sure you can work through whatever this is.” 

The words were wrapped in an earnest concern. Yet Becca felt like they were strangling her. 

Ethan let out another humorless breath. 

She could only imagine the glowing hopeful look on Naveen’s face that then coaxed Ethan to speak a harrowing truth; 

“She’s with someone.”

And if Naveen’s earlier inflection hadn’t killed her, Ethan’s stab to her heart was sure to do it. Chest heaving in a rapid fire Becca struggled to control her breathing; any small grumble or gasp the two were sure to hear and look her way. 

As much as she tried to convince herself the last few minutes otherwise, its undoubtable that they’re talking about her now. Especially with Naveen’s all-knowing temperament. 

“If I recall, she was with you once.” 

Another dry snort came from Ethan. 

Becca could feel him opening his mouth ready to deny deny deny -

But Naveen spoke first; 

“Those feelings don’t just go away, son. Especially in such a short time.” 

Becca rubbed her brows wondering; Was he referring to how quickly lust consumed them, or how it hadn’t even been four months since they were last in each others arms? 

She didn’t know and couldn’t recall how much Naveen actually knew of their dalliance. Though both were more than truthful. Loving Ethan was a whirlwind. If only he was as swept up as she.  

After a beat Naveen added ever so effortlessly, “You can’t help who you love.”

And Becca froze with her fingers pressed into her eyelids. Back going rigid and upright in her hiding place. To hear those words out loud, spoken into existence by someone who knew him was jarring. And the second time they materialized that morning was just the sugar on that giant guilt pastry. Fingers curling around the tables edge, she braced herself for impact. 

Ethan’s words flew out of his mouth with swift incoherent clarity, “I - Who said - What would you know about it?” 

“Oh there are many things you don’t know about me, my friend. Perks of being twice your age. As for your question, I know enough to know the signs.” He paused and Becca could only assume it was to form a sage smile. “And when to steer you away from turning into me.” 

“There is nothing wrong with being devoted to your work.”

“No. And watching you grow over the years has been a delight in my life. Though, I can’t help but feel your restlessness.” The warmth in Naveen’s voice for his pseudo-son turned evidently concerned. “It’s not for the job anymore; its for something else.”

Ethan’s demeanor must’ve changed because the air around them all stalled once again. It wasn’t debilitating like earlier, but borderline revelatory.  

“You aren’t you mother, Ethan. Nor are you me. You’re your own person - the great Ethan Ramsey!” 

The corners of Becca’s lips tugged upwards at the prideful playfulness of Naveen’s words. 

“It’s never too late to become the better version of yourself,” he advised in all his wisdom. 

Ethan must’ve went to interrupt. For the next words Naveen spoke were quiet and forceful; 

“Put your pride aside and talk to her. Like a man, not an attending.”

Her head was reeling. Spinning with all this new information. Her heart and body firing a war of memories with her body the battlefield - She could feel Bryce's touch, its warmth and the endless security she feels with him. But.. she can feel Ethan's kiss still lingering on her lips and the electrifying way he holds onto her being.  

Did she want to talk to him? (Not particularly.) What would she even say? (She said all she needed last time.)

Before Becca knew it, chairs were skidding against the flooring and two sets of heavy feet were retreating. And in an instant she could breathe.

_________________________

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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[magnoliapip]

The Storm Inside

Title : The Storm Inside

Book : Open Heart series (Choices - Pixelberry)

Description : Casey has been pushing everyone away and spiraling since the attack on the hospital and her loved ones are concerned.

Pairing : none established  / ambiguous

Characters : Open Heart FMC (Casey Valentine), Sienna Trinh, Bryce Lahela, Jackie Varma, Rafael Aviero, Elijah Greene, Aurora Emery, Kyra Santana, Danny (mentioned), Bobby (mentioned)

Warnings : mention of death, mental health

Prompt : “What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?...”

Casey stared vacantly out the floor length windows into the night sky above Boston from her seat against them on the living room floor. The sky was as clear as could be, a rarity for the area, but in a city as populous as Boston seeing the stars was a gift they were never granted. She stretched out her cramping legs to a different position as she leaned her head and left shoulder against the cool glass.

She looked out of windows with alarming frequency now. She had never really done so before, preferring to always be doing other things. She’d always thought of herself as a social person who enjoyed others company, though she could be either out dancing in a packed club or relaxing away a quiet night in with the same level of enjoyment. Friends and loved ones was all she really needed.

The attack on Edenbrook had changed everything, down to her very bones.

Some days her mood was somber but calm, like a cloudy day. Those were her best days and the ones she liked best. The cloudy days could be darker with threat of rain or lighter with the sun just missing the opportunity to come out. It was the closest to her old self she could feel. Unfortunately for her, those days were not only fleeting and the least common, they were becoming a rarity.

More often, her moods were a range of levels of sadness. All the way from a misting drizzle, enough to coat everything in water and make the air humid, to a torrentially pouring rain. Buckets from heavens and flash floods. The only thing those floods never seemed to leave clean was herself.

Other times she was cold. So, so cold. The best of those days were accompanied with a blizzard. Cold, but manageable with a shovel. On the days  where she left her heart covered in an inch thick layer of ice and brandished her words like weaponized icicles, frigid and sharp, the people around her knew to steer clear. She was getting a little too good and stabbing them where it hurt.

Her worst moods felt like she should alert the National Weather Service. Tornado warnings and hurricane evacuations were a courtesy she never felt up to extending, adding to her already astronomical guilt. Like a twister, she could feel so angry and out of control she would tear through everyone in her path with no regard for who or what was in it. She had hurt people, especially the ones she loved, deeply but couldn’t bring herself to stop. It was like watching her body act with someone else at the controls.

It was just one more thing about herself to hate lately, and it had a long line to stand in.

The weather in reality never matched what she felt inside. It fascinated and disgusted her in equal measure. It had been sunny (mostly) since the funeral. It was repulsive.

Bobby was dead. Danny was dead. Raf had almost died and would have god knew how many long term problems ahead because of the illness. She had nearly died. And the world just kept spinning.

Couldn’t they see? Couldn’t any of them see that she was stuck there in that room. That she had never recovered. That she couldn’t recover.

At first, when her friends had noticed her strange new affinity for gazing outside for hours every night, they tried to pull her away. Distract her with things like herbal teas, chocolate ice cream and support. They tried to shower her with her favorite pastimes from before. They tried dancing around the apartment to silly pop songs and playing video games with her. But they didn’t understand. And they didn’t stop.

So she bit them. Hard.

Now they left her alone.

She was an awful person. She shouldn’t have been allowed to live. Someone should have realized it at the hospital and just let her die.

She could feel the tears well up again, stinging her eyes as her inner clouds started to rain again. The night sky outside stayed perfectly cloudy.

It was going to be a long night.

Sienna stood around the corner, watching her best friend shatter silently, as she had done every night for over a month. She whispered to those behind her, “Don’t you all see? Nothing is helping and she’s getting worse. After the last time she panicked when I reached out, I thought I’d give her space. We all did. But it’s not working. Does anyone have any suggestions?”

The gathered assembly of those in the cramped penthouse hallway who loved a young doctor named Casey watched her crumble, weeping without making a sound...and no one said anything. Some of the smartest doctors in the nation, and no one had an answer.

Not Bryce, who stood off to the side watching the pain on the face of the first true friend he’d made while at Edenbrook. Someone who had looked past the brash, self-confidence he used as a shield. The first person he hadn’t been afraid of discovering his past.

Not Rafael, who stood at the back of the crowd, down the hall, not able to stand to look at the person who made him believe he was worth as much to her as these intelligent, talented and more well off friends of hers. Not as she could no longer see how much she was worth.

Not Jackie, who was used to facing her problems by cackling at them until they scurried off with tails between legs or tearing them out with her teeth. But this was a problem that required delicacy, the type she had been shown by the very woman who now needed it.

Not Ethan, who leaned against the wall as he saw his protégé, the first person he’d ever believed in this much, destroy herself. She had forced herself, her goodness, into his life and helped fix his hurt self. Now it was his turn and he, for the first time, found himself at a loss.

Not Aurora, her rival turned friend who showed her at her loneliest that having friend was worth something after all. Not Elijah, a beacon of positivity who felt entirely inadequate with this situation that left her emotionally impaired. Not Kyra, desperate to find some way to give Casey the support she had given. Not Sienna, whose heart broke as she watched her very best friend, her dolphin, her rock in many ways fall further and further into herself.

Each one of them loved her. Each one of them cared for her. Each of them had a purpose and a reason to be at Edenbrook, but Casey was the glue that had held them all together. That glue, their foundation, was compromised. This time, they needed to find a way to save her. This time, she couldn’t waltz her way into a miracle seemingly handed down by the divines themselves to fix the situation.

Giving voice to their silent thoughts, Bryce whispered softer than before, “She needs us. She has to know it. She has to know we’re here somewhere inside, but can’t ask. Won’t ask.”

“We’ve already lost so much because of the attack,” Sienna said quietly. “We can’t lose her now. I can’t.”

“None of us can,” Rafael replied softly.

There was practically a flashing beacon over Casey’s head, screaming help me please. It was long overdue for them to stop ignoring it. For a few pregnant minutes, they all looked around at each other and back to her. This mismatched band of misfits and nerds, bound this night by their affection for one single woman. They stared at each other, desperate for answers…

Until the one who loved her most went rigid. Then stepped toward the rest, speaking slowly.

“I...may have an idea.”

[BREAK]

Notes : I left the ending open for interpretation on purpose. This story is not intended to be expanded on or have a second part. Y’all can decide who the person who loves her most is (and if that person isn’t presently named in my story, you can put them there yourself :D)

Also, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to the amazing writers I’ve talking to lately. Due to some truly awful comments and the way they were affecting me mentally, I recently purged all of my works but a few from fanfiction.net, AO3, and here on tumblr. Talking to, interacting with, and just seeing you lovelies in action has led me to believe I should start to do this again. 

Huge shout out to @jerzwriter​ and @lovealexhunt​ for being the lovely souls they are. You may have no idea who I am, especially on this blog rather than my main, but I will never stop being grateful for the positivity you put into the world. Thank you.

[wellimaginethat]

Quite the Scare

Pairing: Matt Casey x (female) Reader

Requested?: Yes

Word Count: 2083

Author’s Note: Another Matt request! Yay! I love him

Trigger Warning(s): Injury, near death, mention of an argument, a child is injured as well (but saved)

Disclaimer: I don’t owe nor am I affiliated with any of the Chicago shows, I just like to play with the characters

Summary: Y/N and Matt have been dating for about a year and have been living together for a few months. One night they have the biggest fight of their relationship and Y/N leaves and goes to stay with a friend. A week later, while she’s working, Matt is rushed in to the hospital after being severely injured.

Y/N = Your Name

You couldn’t even remember what started the fight. Just that it started and quickly spun out of control. You remember running out of your shared apartment and that Matt didn’t try to stop you.

You went to your best friend’s house, showing up in tears. She swore that she was gonna kick his ass and was halfway to the door before you managed to stop her.

Sarah comforted you and told you that you could stay with her for as long as you needed.

Only problem was that you didn’t grab anything.

You knew when Matt’s next shift was, so you went to grab some stuff and then went back to your friend’s house.

A week passed by and you hadn’t heard from Matt, which made you worry. You two had been living together for nearly a year now, and things were going fine. Sure you fought every once in a while, but it was usually nothing. And nothing like this ever happened. The two of you usually cooled down and made up, but this time was different.

You knew that maybe you shouldn’t have run out, and at first you were just too proud to go back, but now you were too heartbroken. It had been an entire week and he hadn’t come to see you, or called you, or even texted you. Maybe he didn’t love you anymore.

You pushed those feelings aside as you got ready for another shift at the hospital.

When you got to the hospital, however, you were immediately plagued by the feeling that something bad was going to happen. You could feel it in your stomach.

Hours passed and everything was fine, and then the ambulance showed up. You were immediately greeted by two patients being wheeled in from a fire, a man and his young daughter, with her being in the worst condition.

You could hear him pleading with anyone who would listen to save his daughter, and your heart hurt.

You rushed over to help, but then your eyes landed on the firefighter being brought in behind them. Your heart sank, and the minute you recognized who it was, it broke completely.

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

You tried to catch your breath.

Pulling yourself back to reality, you knew that you couldn’t tend to him given your relationship, so you headed over to one of the other patients. “Let me know his condition asap.” You told Connor before disappearing, off to operate on the little girl.

You forced yourself to focus on what you were doing and to keep your mind off Matt, but it was hard to do.

Somehow you managed to go about your job and finished the surgery, ultimately saving your patient.

As soon as you were done, you walked out of the OR and you were met by Connor standing there. Immediately you felt a pit in your stomach as your eyes met his. “Is he-”

“He’s alive.” Connor assured you.

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding.

“He’s in critical condition though.” Connor added gently, knowing how worried you must be.

You swallowed hard. “Do you think he’s gonna be okay?” You asked timidly. “I want your honest opinion.”

Connor watched you for a moment, he knew you were a smart doctor and that you would figure it out eventually, but he still hesitated. “The next twenty four hours are crucial, but overall he’s in good condition, all things considered.”

You swallowed hard again and nodded.

As soon as you could you went to see him, he looked bad. You slowly stepped into the room and over to his bedside. Gingerly, you picked up his hand and very gently stroked the back of it with your thumb.

He was unconscious and intubated, and you knew that he most likely couldn’t hear you, but that didn’t stop you from talking to him.

“God, Matt.” You breathed out, tears stinging your eyes. “What happened to you?” You asked quietly, looking at his face. “I’m sorry about the fight.” You spoke after a moment. “I shouldn’t have left, or I should have at least come back, but I wanted you to chase me. I know that sounds so immature and stupid, but it’s the truth. I wanted to know that you still wanted me.” You sniffled and a few tears trickled down your cheeks. “I love you and I still want you, so please don’t die on me.” You begged. “Please, I’m not strong enough to lose you.”

You stayed there as long as you could, sitting in that chair next to his bedside, until Connor came in.

“You should go home and get some rest.” Connor told you gently, his hand on your shoulder.

“I can’t leave him.” You said monotonously.

Connor shook his head. “It won’t do him or anyone else any good with you being here and not getting any rest.”

You sighed, you knew he was right, so you nodded and stood up. You didn’t wanna leave Matt, but you knew you should try to get some rest. You leaned over and kissed Matt’s forehead. “I love you.” You whispered to him before turning and walking out. You stopped by the nurse’s station. “If Matt Casey’s condition changes in any way, I want to be notified asap.” You informed them in a polite but firm tone. You were met with a few nods before you finally left.

You went back to the apartment you shared with Matt and it just felt so cold and different. You were worried you’d be met with your stuff packed up by the door, but you weren’t, everything was the same.

The first thing you did was take a shower and change into some comfy sweats and a t-shirt that would work for bed, but also stuff you wouldn’t mind being seen in public wearing in case something changed in Matt’s condition.

After your shower, you decided you’d better eat something which is when you went to the kitchen and found the post-it note on the fridge.

Y/N- If you come back and I’m not here, please wait for me. I want us to talk and work this out, I love you and I miss you. Love, Matt

That was enough to cause the tears to spring to your eyes again, and next thing you knew you were on the kitchen floor crying your eyes out.

You didn’t know how long you were like that, whether it was five minutes or two hours, all you knew was that when your phone rang and you sprung up to get it, your body was stiff with fatigue.

You answered your phone quickly, worried. You were greeted by April’s voice telling you that Matt was awake.

“I’ll be right there.” You hung up after saying that and hurried to the door to put your shoes on, you were at the hospital in record time and rushing in.

When you walked into his room, you paused at the door seeing the others there with him.

“Hey guys, why don’t we give them a minute?” Herrmann spoke up, shifting his stance before beginning to herd the others out. They all looked at you, but you were too focused on Matt to register their feelings behind them, until Herrmann finally headed out and gave you a gentle, caring smile.

You returned it before slowly walking into the room and over to Matt’s bedside. “You know the limit on visitors is only two people, right?” You asked, chuckling softly, you were trying to use humor to ease the situation, since the last time the two of you talked you were screaming ‘go to hell’ at him. “Then again, I know how they are. You guys are a tight knit family, so I’m not surprised they were here with you.”

“I was told that you had to be kicked out.” Matt spoke out, his voice quiet and even, a little hoarse from being intubated.

“You seem to be doing much better than you were when I was here earlier.” You commented, chewing on the inside of your cheek a bit, fiddling with your hands.

“Y/N-” Matt started, causing you to look at him. “I’m sorry about the fight.”

You let out a relieved breath. “I am too.” You said softly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed and picking up his hand. “And I’m sorry for leaving like I did.”

Matt’s eyes met yours and he just stared at you for a moment. “Will you come home?”

You smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah.”

Matt smiled. “Can’t believe it took me almost getting killed to get you to come back.”

“It didn’t.” You shook your head. “It just took you asking me to come back.”

He looked at you in shock then. “All I had to do was ask?”

You nodded. “Pretty much. Neither of us were innocent in the fight, but neither of us were completely at fault either. All you had to do was ask me to come back, let me know that you wanted to work things out.” You said softly. “But, I could have done the same. I could have let you know that I wanted to work things out too.”

Matt nodded slowly.

You fell silent for a moment, staring at his hand in yours. “I found your note.” You said softly.

“You did?” Matt asked softly, knowing that meant you had already gone back to your apartment, which made him happy.

You nodded. “I did.”

“I put it there right after you left.” Matt admitted with a small smile. “I really have missed you, so much.”

“I missed you too.” You said softly, gently squeezing his hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Happy.” Matt answered you.

You looked at him. “You know what I mean.”

“Sore.” Matt sighed.

“You gave me quite the scare, what happened?” You asked softly, not sure you wanted to know but at the same time feeling like you needed to.

“I got distracted.” Matt told you. “A beam fell on me, knocked me out and then the next thing I know, I’m waking up here.”

“You got distracted?” You asked softly, raising a brow.

“We were getting ready to pull out and I heard a child.” Matt told you softly.

You gasped, eyes widening.

“She’s fine, they got her and she’s fine-”

“I know.” You cut him off softly. “She was my patient.”

Matt smiled at you. “So you’re the one that saved her.”

“It was a team effort, if you hadn’t heard her, she wouldn’t have been brought in for me to save.” You told him with a soft smile.

He returned the smile. “I’m glad she’s okay.”

“Me too.” You agreed, nodding.

When Matt was eventually released, you drove him home to recuperate. It didn’t feel weird being there this time, the coldness seemed to dissipate and was replaced with the warm, inviting feeling you always felt. It felt like home again.

“So where did you go when you left?”

“Sarah’s.” You answered. “She wanted to kick your ass, by the way.”

Matt snorted. “Of course.”

“Although she said the universe did that for her.” You laughed a bit. “She’s glad you’re okay and that we’re okay.”

Matt smiled and pulled you over to him. “We’re more than okay.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss you gently.

You pulled back slowly. “Don’t scare me like that again, please.”

“I’ll try not to.” Matt told you.

You were both aware that it would most likely happen again, but you knew that when you started dating and you learned to deal with the worry.

“Good.” You responded after a moment, kissing his cheek lightly before moving to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Matt asked, quick to grab you again, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“The kitchen to make us something to eat.” You responded.

“Let’s just order in, I’ve gone too long without you in my arms.” Matt responded as he placed a tender kiss to your neck.

You giggled softly and turned in his arms. “You need to rest.”

“I will.” Matt responded with a smirk.

You looked at him for a moment before smirking back. “So what are we ordering tonight? Pizza?”

“You can pick.” Matt told you.

“Well I obviously want pizza.” You responded with a small laugh, your arms wrapping around his neck as you leaned in for another kiss.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Best Friend (Part 3/3)

you and Kevin are best friends but when you start to fall for him you start pulling away until a life threatening situation urges you to confess how you feel

Kevin was sitting in the corner of the waiting room at Med. It had taken too long for Gabby and Sylvie to get you back. Minutes passed precious minutes that could mean the difference in whether or not you woke up.

The ride to med was the longest one he'd ever experienced. He couldn't ride in the ambulance because he'd been too upset Adam had basically drug him into a car. Otis had climbed in the back of the ambulance with Gabby to help bag you while she worked on stabilizing your injuries. Time you got to Med Will and Connor along with an army of nurses met you in the ambulance bay.

He'd stood outside trauma one watching as Will ventilated you. Your heart was beating but your lungs couldn't breathe on their own yet. You had inhaled too much smoke. He'd stood frozen to the spot until Kim and Adam had talked him into going to the waiting room which was packed with family members of the victims of the fire but one corner of the room was nothing but fire and cpd waiting to hear anything on you.

-----

Gabby and Sylvie both sat leaned against Antonio who was going from silently praying to trying to keep everyone calm.

Adam and Jay had both tried to talk to Kevin but after he snapped at Kim everyone had given him a wide berth knowing if he had acted that way towards her any of the men may have to duck a punch.

-----

Your words kept playing through his head "I love you Kev. You need to know that"

Why hadn't he realized it before then? Why hadn't he told you how he felt? Hell Vinessa and Jordan had called him out more than once but he always thought you just saw him as a friend nothing more and he didn't want to risk your friendship on feelings you may not reciprocate now he may never have the chance to tell you how he felt.

-----

The pregnant woman Jessica was going to be ok. She was far enough along her OB had decided inducing labor would be safer than waiting to check the baby's lung capacity.

She'd given birth to a seven pound, two ounce little girl about half an hour before.  Mom and baby were both going to be ok thanks to you.

They'd given the baby your name as her middle name citing that she wouldn't have been born had it not been for you. Jessica told her husband and Sylvie how you had given her the mask and the fire blanket then never left her side and how you had shielded her with your own body when the roof collapsed.

From what Casey and Severide said you had effectively sheilded her. They'd found the two of you under a portion of roof but Jessica hadn't been injured beyond her leg that she told them was broken before the roof came in.  She'd been sending her husband down to the emergency department as she could to try to find out any news on you but after the third trip Will had told him someone would come up because it was only causing more stress on Jessica and the people who loved you.

-----

He was proud of you even if what you did was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen. The paramedics had been told time and again after Shay died not to go in a building. He knew you though once you found out there was someone inside and heard that person hell itself wouldn't have kept you out. Your bravery was one of the many reasons he loved you.

Hell he could start now and that baby would be going into kindergarten by the time he got through listing all the reasons he loved you.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes willing for all of this to be a bad dream and him to wake up and be able to start this day over.

A phone ringing pulled everyone's attention to the bag sitting at Sylvie's feet. Your bag. She cut her eyes at Gabby who nodded so she leaned over and unzipped the bag to find your phone sitting on top. when she pulled it out she showed the phone to Antonio who cursed under his breath before taking it and standing up.

Kevin hadn't moved when the phone rang because honestly he hadn't cared. If it was anything to do with you Will would have came out to tell them but when Antonio bumped his foot he glanced up and saw your phone was being held out to him and his heart stopped seeing Vinessa's name and a picture of you and her flash across the screen.

He took the phone from Antonio and took a breath before answering "Hey Vinessa" "Kev?"

He steadied himself for the next part of this conversation "Where's auntie?" "Hold on I'll go get her. Is everything ok?" "Just go get her" he answered being more snappy than he usually would be with his sister but not wanting to have to tell her what was going on with you not yet.

-----

He told his aunt what had happened and the shape you were currently in.  "She's strong Kevin. She'll pull through" she assured him but he couldn't shake the image of your body hanging limp in Kelly's arms. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if she don't" he admitted feeling like a portion of his heart was getting ripped out his chest at the prospect of you dying.

"Keep faith in her and the doctors. If she's half the woman you and these kids say she is she'll wake up"  he spotted Will walking towards him so told her he had to go. The last thing she told him was "I really want to meet her one day" then hung up.

-----

Everyone held their breath when they spotted Will. Sylvie and Kim stood to be next to Kevin as he heard whatever news was coming.

Will let out a breath and smiled slightly "She's got a concussion from the blow, fourteen staples in the back of her head and bruised ribs but all in all she was lucky considering. Now as far as the smoke inhalation goes we're slowly weaning her off the ventilator and so far she's doing good. If she continues at this pace she'll be backing breathing on her own before morning. She's medicated so she's resting but Kev she's going to recover" 

Kevin felt himself weaken at hearing you were going to be ok. He'd been preparing himself for the worse but now he knew you were coming back to him.

He pulled Kim then Sylvie into a hug. "She's going to be ok" Kim reminded with a smile.

-----

Will let everyone go to your room two at a time. Seeing you with a breathing tube in was hard but knowing you would recover lessened the blow.

Once everyone had saw you mainly to reassure themselves you were still intact they began to trickle out to head home and get some sleep so they could all come back in the morning before shifts started to check on you. Kevin however couldn't bring himself to leave so Will cleared it for him to stay overnight.

-----

He sat at your bed staring at your chest as it rose and fell. Your breathing was getting better. In the last few hours they had removed the breathing tube completely leaving you on just oxygen but you were still sleeping from the pain medication they'd given you.

Will had left orders with the night shift on keeping a check on you and that he would be in first thing to check your lung functions.

He was beyond tired. Sleep had been nipping at him since everyone left earlier but in his mind if he fell asleep something would happen to you and he couldn't chance it.

His aunt had called again for an update on you and was happy to hear they were confident in your recovery. He'd talked to Vinessa and Jordan and they were both worried about you and made him promise to call as soon as you were up to talking again.

He sat looking through the numerous photos of you and his siblings he had on his phone. He settled on one in particular that Vinessa had taken on her last birthday. You were smiling and hanging off his neck as you ducked a water balloon thrown by Kim and Adam.

Why hadn't he realized then he was in love with you? He finally drifted off to sleep with one hand touching your arm that was closest to him.

-----

Everything hurt as you swam out from under the fog of unconsciousness. The last thing you remembered was blocking Jessica from the piece of roof that was crashing down on the two of you.

You felt a weight on your left arm and slowly opened your eyes to see Kevin fast asleep with his head leaned over on your arm. He looked so peaceful you didn't want to move and risk waking him but you needed to see just how badly you were hurt not to mention you had to see how Jessica and her baby were.

Despite the pain you were feeling a touch of embarrassment hit when you remembered telling Kevin you loved him. Was that why he'd stayed? A sense of guilt? Or maybe he felt the same? That thought made a small smile slip onto your face but you pushed it down and looked around for the call button and hit it once hoping whoever came in would keep it down a bit until you at least found out what happened after you were knocked out.

------

Will's head popped around the corner and he gave you a small smile. You help one finger to your lips and he looked down and saw Kevin still asleep "How ya feeling wonder woman?" He whispered coming closer to listen to your breathing. "Not that wonderful" you croaked out grimacing at the sound of your own voice pushing the oxygen down once he gave the ok.

"So do you wanna know about yourself first or about Jessica and her little girl?"

-----

After showing you a couple pics on his phone of Jessica and your name sake Will gave you a rundown of your own injuries and you were honestly surprised you'd faired as well as you did.

"Has he been here all night?" You asked and felt Kevin stirring before he sat up rubbing his eyes "He's been here since they brought you in"

Will smiled and said "I'll give you two a few minutes. There's some tests we need to run on you but for now just rest. You need it" "Thanks Will" you replied with a tired smile. He winked at you before walking out "I'd say any time but I prefer not to see you again like this"

A silence fell between you and Kevin once Will walked out.  He spoke your name quietly bringing his eyes up to yours and you felt tears spring to your eyes “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” you begged closing your eyes and leaning back against the pillows.

You couldn't face the pity you were sure was in his eyes. He was your friend of course he'd stayed to make sure you didn't die but now that he knew you were on the mend would come the talk that he didn't feel the same way.

He reached out and grabbed your hand running his thumb across the back of it. "Angel look at me please" you opened your eyes slowly and when he saw the tears brimming in them it hurt his heart. "Seeing Kelly carry you out that building felt like my whole world stopped. You weren't breathing, you were bleeding and they wouldn't let me get to you. It took me a while to realize it myself but I've been in love with you for almost as long as I've known you. You're my best friend and I don't want to ever have to doubt that you know how I feel about you again. So please baby don't think for a minute that I don't love you"

-----

You felt a smile spread across your face as Kevin's words tumbled out. When he got through he sat staring at you with an expectant look on his face as if he was scared that your confession had just been stimmed by the possibility of death.

"One request" you said turning your hand over to lace your fingers with his. A smile slipped onto his face staring at your hands before raising his eyes back to your face "Anything" he said squeezing your hand gently "are you willing to kiss me while I sound like a frog?"

He let out a shocked laugh and shrugged "Baby I'd kiss you even if you were a frog"

Kevin stood up and gently brushed his lips against yours in a tentative kiss. You raised your hand that didn't have an IV in it to pull him closer to you and deepen the kiss.

The sound of Will clearing his throat at the door made Kevin pull away from you with a smile. "I love you Kevin" you whispered pressing another quick kiss to his lips before he could pull away completely. "I love you too sweetheart" he said with a smile before stepping back so Will could get up to your side.

Will looked between the two of you and chuckled "I always thought you two would be good together"

[moonknightly]

Could Feel You Surrounding Me : Santiago “Pope” Garcia x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Excerpt: “Thinking about the aftermath almost felt like giving yourself false hope. You didn’t want to think about the future until you knew for certain that Santi was in the clear.”

Warnings: Uhh mentions of injury, blood, cursing. That’s it I think? This one has a happy ending fellas!

The first emotion you experience is shock. It’s unfathomable, how someone you love and care for so deeply, with every inch of your being, could be at the forefront of a situation you thought only existed in dramatized TV shows — under harsh lights, covered in bandages that turn from white to red and only do so much to hide the cuts and the bruises that mark their skin. Attached to various tubes, drains, and IV lines. So many different wires.

The sight is near unbearable, and it doesn’t get any easier, no matter how many hours or even days pass by in a blur of fast-moving staff wearing stethoscopes and scrubs. And everytime you close your eyes, you tell yourself that once you open them again, you’ll finally be used to it. You tell yourself it’s not gonna hurt as bad this time, but it’s even harder than it was before.

And the sounds. God, the sounds. The unfamiliar, almost haunting beeps and buzzes that start to become a comfort because they serve as the only reminder that they’re still there. The excruciating and traumatic cries of a family’s hearts breaking from down the hall mixed with rare periods of somber silence. The rapid-fire exchange of incomprehensible medical terminology, so many different medications and diagnoses and explanations that you just can’t wrap your head around.

It starts with the shock, because while you knew that this reality existed outside of those damned TV shows, and while you were aware of the possibility of having to live it yourself, given his line of work, you never thought you would actually have to face seeing Santi lying in the ICU like this.

Because he promised. Each and every single time he went out on a mission, he promised you that he’d come home to you, safe and sound and in one piece. And Santiago never broke his promises. Not a damn one.

But it had been a freak accident, and he hadn’t even been on a mission, and that was probably what freaked you out the most. The new realization that it could happen at any given moment, at any given time in any given circumstance.

All of the sleepless nights spent in your empty bed, praying to any divine being that would listen, worrying over his safety and just wishing him home, and he’d managed to land himself in this position during a boy’s trip into the mountains for a little leisurely camping.

They’d been rock climbing, something they were all five well-trained in, but the rope had been settled against a rock with a rather sharp edge, and the constant pulling of his weight had cut straight through it. It was a fall that he was lucky to survive. The paramedics who arrived on scene hadn’t expected to find him alive, and definitely hadn’t expected him to come back once he needed to be resuscitated.

His neglect to check the ridge was something that seemed so out of character for both him and the other boys. No detail was ever overlooked. It was hard for you to believe that he hadn’t noticed how sharp the edge of the rock had been, but you also knew Santi — he never would have thought it would happen to him

There were several things the nurses told you that you didn’t quite understand, and honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to ask them to clarify, or put it into words that actually made sense. As ignorant as it was, you almost didn’t want to understand. You didn’t want to focus on all of his injuries and the no doubt long recovery ahead until he opened those big brown eyes of his that you so adored and kept them open.

Thinking about the aftermath almost felt like giving yourself false hope. You didn’t want to think about the future until you knew for certain that Santi was in the clear.

What you did understand was that he had several broken ribs, some injuries to his spinal cord, and a moderate traumatic brain injury amongst other things blunt force trauma to his abdomen and chest caused. He’d needed a blood transfusion down in the ER, and he was on so many different medications, you couldn’t keep up.

They’d sedated him after a mild seizure, keeping him in a medically induced coma for the first two days before waking him again. He hadn’t been able to stay awake for long though, and while your eyes had briefly met, you don’t think he really registered who you were or what was going on.

It was day four now, and he was breathing on his own. He was waking up unprompted more and more, usually to vomit, but would fall back asleep after only a minute or two. Sometimes he would glance towards you as if to make sure that someone was still with him, sometimes he would only blink at the ceiling. He’d move, but only if a nurse asked him to touch his nose or wiggle his toes, and he hadn’t said a word.

But neither had you. Each time he looked at you, you could only stare back, blinking away your tears until you were sure he was asleep again. Only then would you let yourself cry, and fuck, did you cry. You were sure you had cried more in the last four days than you ever had before.

Only one person was allowed in the room at a time, and the only time you left his side was to let one of the boys visit. Frankie usually sat with you in the cafeteria while the other three took their turns, trying to get you to eat something, but he’d convinced you to use the time that day to run home and get a shower in, and grab yourself some clothes and other things you’d need since it was apparent you wouldn’t be leaving. He knew no one other than Santiago could convince you to stay the night in your own home rather than in the recliner by his bedside.

Frankie also knew that as brave as Pope was, he’d want you next to him through it all. He’d be heartbroken if he woke up and you weren’t there.

You’d be just as torn up over it.

A nurse checked on him every hour, and it was this particular nurse’s last round before shift change. You liked her. Her name was Casey, and she was always so gentle with him. It was obvious that she actually cared about her patients, not just for them, and you appreciated it to no end, words failing every time you tried to properly thank her. You knew the comfort was something he needed, something you were still too scared to give him. You were afraid to touch him, so terrified that you’d hurt him or cause him even an ounce of discomfort. You hadn’t even touched his hand.

But, it was something you needed to get over. You both needed it.

You watched as she worked around him, checking to make sure everything was still in place, double checking it even after she was sure nothing had wiggled its way loose. She peeked over her shoulder towards you. “The doctors are bringing in an occupational therapist tomorrow.”

“For what?” you asked, shifting in your chair, eyes flickering between her and Santi.

“We’re hoping to keep him awake long enough to get him to write a few things down. See if communicating that way is a possibility. And if not that, maybe we can get him to point at a chart with different letters to spell things out.”

You shifted again. “Is he ready for that?”

“The doctors seem to think so. The longer he stays awake, the better we can gauge where he’s at cognitively.”

You stayed silent at that, your stomach flipping as another bout of fear moved through you.

Casey seemed to know exactly where your head was at though, and she stopped momentarily to reach back and set a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“He’s expected to make a full recovery sweetheart. I’m not the type to believe in miracles and things like that, but given what he’s already pulled himself through, he’s one lucky man.”

You smiled gently, putting your hand over hers, but a frown quickly worked its way back onto your face. “I’m just scared he doesn’t recognize me. Every time he looks at me, it’s almost like he’s looking through me.”

“And does that make you love him any less?”

You were taken aback by her words, completely shocked. But you immediately shook your head, eyebrows furrowing. “Of course not.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it’s not his fault.” Your answer was again immediate. “Because he just went through some shit and it’s not his fault at all. I vowed to love him for better or for worse, and that wasn’t a promise either of us took lightly.”

“Exactly,” she shrugged, pointing to him. “Because that’s still your husband. He’s still your Santiago. There’s just a few kinks to work out, and even if those kinks did become permanent, you’d still love him, right?.”

“Absolutely.”

“Then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

You knew she was right. You knew that even if he didn’t recognize you at first, the doctors were near positive that he would eventually. And even if he didn’t, and he had to relearn you completely, it’d be worth it. Because at least he was still alive, still breathing. You still had him.

“Thank you.”

Casey smiled, smiling and squeezing your shoulder gently before turning her attention back to Santiago.

Once she was finished, she turned towards you again, tilting her head to the side. “You know, he could really use a bath. And I think he’d appreciate it if you were the one to do it instead of me.”

The smirk on her face was entirely noticeable, and you knew exactly what she was doing, but you still nodded your head, suddenly craving the physical contact, that connection.

“Great,” she hummed, leaving the room to grab the supplies you would need in order to give him a sponge bath.

She returned a moment letter with a cloth, some soap and deodorant, and a basin of water, instructing you to stay clear of any bandages, and to not worry about his hair. If he woke up, you could try to wash his back, but otherwise she didn’t want you to worry about that either. You nodded your head, listening intently even though it was all pretty straightforward. She turned off the bed alarm, showing you which button to press once you got up again, and left the room.

Once Casey was gone, you took a moment to just stare at him, even though you hadn’t truly looked at anything else in the last four days. He looked better than he had when you first saw him, really. He had some color back in his cheeks, and the lines on his forehead had smoothed out. He looked almost peaceful.

You sighed gently, giving yourself one final push before stepping forward, carefully peeling the blanket and the sheet away from his body.

Should you try to wake him? Or would it be better for you to just go for it? You decided on the latter, thinking it would be better if he woke up on his own accord. If he stayed asleep, then it was obvious his body needed it.

“Hey, sweet boy,” you whispered as you sat down on the edge of the bed, pushing a few sweat soaked curls away from his forehead. “I’d ask how you’re doing but that seems a little redundant right now.”

You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as you reached for the cloth, wetting it and applying a little bit of soap. You started on his arms, staying away from his IV and the bandage near his elbow. Your touch was gentle, slow, but the feeling of his skin under your fingertips after not feeling it for days set both your body and soul ablaze, chest so full of love and something else that you couldn’t quite place. Relief, maybe? You didn’t know.

“The boys have been in and out,” you continued, even though he couldn’t hear you. You just wanted to talk to him. “Frankie told me you woke up for a second the last time he was in here. He cried a little bit, but he’s never gonna admit it.”

You hesitated, moving to untie the hospital gown as much as you could, pulling it down just enough to reveal his chest, being extremely careful not to accidentally disconnect a wire for the heart monitor. You started on his upper arms.

“The boys feel like shit. They all think there was something they could’ve done to prevent it, even though everyone knows it was just a stupid accident. Benny’s taking it really hard.”

You brought your free hand to his lower stomach, your fingertips tracing random shapes and patterns into his skin as you moved the cloth over his right shoulder, your eyes glued to your movements.

“I miss you so much,” you sighed, shaking your head slowly. “I mean, I know you’re right fucking here, but you know what I mean. I miss your hugs, your kisses. Your voice. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes of yours.”

The tears started before you even had a chance to realize. You could feel them trailing down your cheeks, falling onto the sheets below.

“I just really need you to be okay, you hear me baby? I need you.”

Your voice cracked, and you felt yourself begin to shake, the sobs moving through your body with relentless force. You made yourself stay quiet though, not wanting to scare a nurse or a family down the hall, or even Santi himself.

Nothing had ever been so hard. This entire experience had been more than difficult, but as you sat there, thinking about how things could have gone in an entirely different direction, and how you could have walked away a widow instead of a wife, you realized exactly how true Casey’s words had been. Santi really was lucky, and so were you.

And if this was hard for you, you couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be for him once he was fully conscious again, and able to make sense of everything that he’d been through. The doctors were still unsure of just how far his brain injury ran, but they were sure there were things that would take time to come back to him — like his ability to speak, possibly his ability to walk. They predicted that he’d have migraines for months. Light sensitivity, some dizziness and confusion that could last just as long. Fatigue, general weakness. Pain. His recovery was going to be hell, and there you were, having sat by his bedside for four days feeling sorry for yourself.

How could you have been so selfish? In a time where your husband needed you most?

You felt selfish even crying, but you couldn’t stop. The tears just kept pouring, and the hole in your chest grew and grew as you continued to spiral deeper and deeper into your thoughts.

You were only pulled from them when you felt a set of knuckles gently brush against your cheek, and for a moment, you thought one of the boys had managed to sneak their way in, or maybe it was even Casey coming to check in one last time before heading home for the night.

The last thing you expected to see when you blinked your eyes open was a familiar pair of warm brown ones staring right back at you.

Brown eyes full of recognition and worry.

You gasped, not able to stop the sound before it left your lips, but you did refrain from throwing your arms around him, knowing the action would probably hurt him or knock something loose. Instead, you reached up, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers with his.  

“Santi?”

He blinked a couple of times, looking as if he wanted to say something in response, but he could only frown, and you knew him well enough to notice that his inability to speak was already frustrating him.

But you almost took that as a good thing, because it showed that he remembered waking up before, and how he hadn’t been able to speak any of those times either. The fact that he remembered was good, right?

And he might not have been able to verbally speak, but there were still so many things he could say without words. You felt him squeeze your hand, three times — a silent “I love you”, something he had started doing not long after saying it to you for the first time.

“I love you too, baby. I love you so much.”

He pulled on your hand, trying to bring you closer to him, and you started to shake your head, still worried about hurting him.

“Santi, no-”

This time he gently smacked your hand, effectively silencing you as he pointed to his shoulder, and you knew what he was trying to tell you — you wouldn’t hurt him if you were only lying against his shoulder.

He knew exactly what you were thinking without you needing to speak, too.

And you couldn’t deny him, not when he was looking at you with those puppy dog eyes he knew would get him anything he wanted.

You tossed the washcloth back into the water, and pulled his gown back up, redoing the ties before scooting further up the bed. You made sure that everything was out of the way before leaning back against him, keeping your eyes trained on his face the entire time. Only when he didn’t flinch did you finally relax.

And you both simply laid there, staring at one another, letting your eyes do all of the talking. Neither of you looked away, not even once. Not until Santi’s eyes started to close again, his exhaustion taking over once more. You kissed the corner of his mouth, and you watched as his lips twitched upwards into a small smile before he gave into unconsciousness.

He’d managed to stay awake for over half an hour this go around, and for twenty minutes the next time he woke up, and another twenty after that.

And when morning came and Casey walked into the room for the first round of her shift, all she could do was smile.

Santiago was awake again, and you were the one asleep, lightly snoring from your place on his shoulder, looking so completely at peace.

And he was looking at you like he was the luckiest man alive.

[chaos-writes]

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: Ghost in the Flesh

Warning: 14+ Swearing. Gore. Word count: 1,688

No party was as good as the ones hosted by Stu Macher. An 18 year old Rich Bitch senior, whose parents decided they could trust him with the house while they went on vacation somewhere in the Bahamas. He was also a piece of eye candy, along with his buddy, the ‘Definition-of-Teen-Angst’ Billy Loomis. He's that one ride or die friend of the school. You see, these guys are popular. While they may not be the jock d-bags of the highschool superiority complex, they are known around here for being party animals. Stu is also the goofiest in the school, the class comedian, if you will.

Me? I’m just… there. Look, Stu is throwing a massive party tonight. I’m not gonna flirt or anything. I just wanna get some beer and bounce. No biggie. In’n’out.

Okay, I'm a little freaked out. I don't wanna bump into a dude named Randy Meeks, a guy who's built like a weasel and acts like one too. He's a horror movie fanatic who acts like school is an actual movie, well, a horror movie. I really have nothing against him, he's a good dude, but still. I'd rather not talk to him.

The whole school day I spent pondering about the party. I found myself daydreaming about Bill- err… watching the movie at the party. Casey and I couldn't stop talking about it. We’re best friends, so we do a lot together.

I rented out the Robin movie and skedaddle. Randy was screaming and I wanted none of that. I go home and put the movie on the counter. "Mom? Hey, I brought a movie home! I know you'll love it!"

School is over for the weekend and I head to the video store on my walk home. Randy is stocking shelves as usual. I look at the comedy section; ooh, my family will love this one! It's a Robin Williams movie! And there he is, Party Man himself. Stu Macher, picking on weasel dude. I see Billy, talking to a group of girls who swoon at his slightest movement (ewww).

It was getting closer to 8. I watched that movie with my parents and ate. I did my homework, cleaned my room, and showered. I set out for the 10-minute walk to Stu's house. Instead, I got a phone call. "Hey, it's Billy. Do you need a ride here?" Right, I gave him my number to help study.

"Well, the house is just a 10 minute walk away-"

"Why don't you just let me pick you up? Shorten that time."

"Uhm, ok then. You need my address?"

"N-... yea, I do."

A few minutes later, I see the car of one of the most popular guys at school pull up in front of my house. Gee, that was fast. "Hey, mom? I'm gonna hang out with my buddies tonight. I'll call you before I leave for home."

I'm in his car. I'm in his car. I'm in his car. Oh my god. Ok, he's cute. But I can't freak out like this. "You- ah, ok there?" He says. "O- oh, yea, I'm sorry, just zoned out." I stammer. His car smells like cologne and it's very clean. And he's right next to me. Billy Loomis. Sitting in his car. Next to a loser.

“Hey, you know Stu and I are close, right?” Billy said. “Of course I do! You guys are double trouble!” I giggled. He laughs. God, that laugh. It was so melodic, so… perfect. “Well, we’ve been thinking about getting closer with you. Y’know, we’re not very close. We wish that was different. You’re very kind, and you have such a great personality.” He admitted. I stare blankly for a second. Hey, did he take a back road? “I like that idea,” I said. He looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. “Yeah?” 

I nodded and smiled. I can’t believe this! He smiles and giggles lightly to himself. A solid minute went by in silence before we pulled into his driveway. We got there early so we waited in the car a bit. “Hey, that ride took as long as the walk would've taken,” “well, i wanted to have enough time to talk to you,” He says. 

“That’s okay, I like long car rides anyways.” I said.

I walked with Billy into Stu's front door. Wow, this place is, just, beautiful. Stu walks right past me, straight to Billy. They start quietly talking together, Billy tosses a glance at me and Stu looks and smiles at me, I had no choice but to smile back. I was a guest in his house after all; you're supposed to be polite to your hosts.

It made me nervous. Really nervous. I wasn't thinking at all. I walked into the kitchen to cool down, that was really weird. Stu walked over to me after the two were done talking. He was actually really nice to me and we had a really fun conversation about aliens and whether or not they’re real. He did impressions of what he thought they would look like. He's such a goofball.

He handed me a beer and sat me down on the couch, right next to him. Wow, he is tall sitting next to me. I took a swig and decided you know what? I can stay for more than a beer. It's all good. I’m not big into horror movies and Stu knew this, so he explained all the lore behind Halloween while we were watching it. 

I think one of the boys said something to Randy, because he hasn't even looked at me, not once, the whole night. Not even during his little ramble about the "rules" about being in a horror movie, or whatever.

During the movie, Stu noticed that I was cold. He told me I could go upstairs to grab his sweater. So, I head upstairs very cautiously, looking for the sweater. He said his room, right? 

I then feel swift footsteps behind me and an arm wrap around my throat. Shit! I'm in a blood choke! I couldn't get out. Everything just faded. 

I woke up in Stu's bed, I must've been out for hours. I stumble and try to fight myself awake. I feel so weak. I stumble down the stairs and begin shaking at the sight.

The whole house was a bloodbath. Randy was tied up and soaked in blood, dead. Sydney was dead. 

Casey, oh God, Casey, mutilated beyond recognition and hanging from a tree outside the house. I can’t breathe. I can’t imagine how scared she was. Did she call for help? Could I have saved her?

The only people left were me, Billy, and Stu. They were soaked in blood and covered in stab wounds.

The police were on their way. I tried my best to help Stu, he was practically mutilated. I put pressure on his wounds and moved on to Billy. He wasn't as bad but he was losing a lot of blood.

I don't know why the killer didn't finish me off after I was unconscious.

The wait at the hospital was long. There were police officers and social workers and doctors talking to me, asking weird questions, and it was all happening so fast and I was so scared. I couldn't think, my head felt like it was splitting open. Casey, what did they do to you? Oh God, I’m so sorry.

The boys were in emergency surgery. A nurse came into the waiting room. "Hey, the boys are out of surgery. You can go and visit them, although it would be a while before they wake up."

I get into the hospital room and there they are. A shared hospital room with 2 empty beds opposite of 2 occupied beds. They're both asleep, hooked up to oxygen, connected to wires and tubes of all sorts. It was almost as scary as seeing them drenched in blood back at that party. Well, massacre.

I drag a chair in between the beds, pull the dividing curtain back farther, and wait. I sit and think about the party, how Stu was so tall sitting next to me on his couch, how Billy just... offered me a ride. The ride itself. It seems a little insane but do they... have feelings for me?

After I moved to the woodsboro district, both boys broke up with their girlfriends within a week from each other. It kinda sucks because I liked Sidney and Tatum, and now they want nothing to do with me-

"Hmmm...?" Stu slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head. "I had no idea you'd be here." He said in a tired, raspy voice.

"Hi, Stu. I just wanted to check up on you boys. You guys were really badly hurt. I feel awful, I could've done more to help."

"Honey, it's okay. Besides, imagine how badass these scars are gonna look when they heal over!"

"You big goof!" I giggled. Billy stirred in his bed. He lifted his head, rubbed his eyes, and groaned. "Hey, how did it go ove-" he stopped mid sentence. Both he and Stu shared looks of horror between me and themselves.

Why are they acting so strange?

Oh no.

Oh God.

I felt my heart stop in my chest. They didn’t. They couldn’t have. Casey… 

“You… you were the killers?” I said in a soft, shaky voice. Billy smoothed his voice, “Now what makes you think we were the killers?”

“The… the phone call, the conversation at the front door, the… oh God, Casey!” I broke into sobs. I couldn't help it. They killed my best friend! 

“Hey, it’s not like that. We never meant to hurt you…” Stu pleaded. 

Billy’s expression turned from amusement to horror as he watched tears slip down my cheeks. Both were silent as they leaned in from their beds and wrapped their arms around me. “How can we make it up to you, beautiful?” Billy asked.

Silence fell over what seemed like the whole world.

“Stay with me. That’s the least you can do.”

 “Of course, sweetness.” Billy said.

[newcolonies]

Perfect

A/n: Woah, it's been a while since I posted a fic. Okay, so this one have nothing to do with the new chapters that were released (I didn’t finish reading them oop) but I do plan on writing a some fics for those chapters once I finish reading them. Anywho this fic is basically just fluff piled on top of fluff. I hope you enjoy!

*Title and Story is based on the song Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Word count: 1,240

Tag list:  @openheart12 @queencarb @junehiratas @lilyvalentine @kaavyaethanramsey​ @tsrookie @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @trappedinfandoms​ @lion-ess24​ @rookiemarsswiftie​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @aylamwrites​ @laiba-the-person​ @starrystarrytrouble​ @utterlyinevitable​

*If you would like to be added or removed from the list let me know. 

*All characters in this story are owned by PB

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Casey stared at the reflection looking back at her. She flashed a fake smile, attempting to convince herself that it was all in her head. The invading thoughts of self-consciousness were merely just a delusion that she had convinced herself to be true. She arranged her hair to better frame her face and attempted at yet another smile. She typically wasn't one to doubt herself. Casey had grown to love her body and personality, but she had found herself struggling to find that love recently.

 Casey sunk to her knees in disappointment, her throat constricted as she held back the volcano that demanded to erupt. Once the first tear broke loose, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Droplets soaked into the navy blue dress that Casey wore, absorbing all the sadness and shame that radiated from the woman. Casey looked back up to the mirror that was before her, her face smudged with black as the mascara bled from her eyelashes. 

"Casey, are you ready to go?" she heard Ethan calling from the kitchen. The sound of his footsteps echoed off the walls as he neared the bedroom. She scrambled to remove the mascara from her eyes by wiping her hand across her face. She didn't want him to believe that at that moment her appearance had made her almost nauseous. Ethan stood in the doorway of the bedroom, his eyes planted on the woman sitting on the ground. Her dress spread in a perfect circle around her, her face red and puffy.

 "Casey, what's wrong?" he said making his way to her side. He found a spot on the ground and sat next to her. They were both looking through the mirror, their eyes locked on the others. Casey couldn't help but roam her eyes over his body. He wore a black dinner jacket paired with a silky black tie, and a silver watch strapped around his wrist. Ethan typically wasn't one to dress himself up in luxurious clothing, but the gala they were to attend required them to dress elegantly. She felt small sitting next to him. She felt dirty, embarrassed. 

"I-" Casey choked, "Ethan, I can't go to the gala." 

"Oh?" he questioned. Ethan snaked an arm around Casey's waist and pulled her closer. "You know that you look gorgeous right?" he said planting a gentle kiss to her cheek. 

Casey forced herself to look him in the eyes. She didn't have to tell him how she was feeling, because somehow he had always known. "I'm sorry," Casey whispered. She had wanted to look away, to hide, to cry. She felt embarrassed that she was allowing herself to feel this way, especially in front of Ethan. 

"If you don't feel comfortable going, then we won't go," Ethan said with a shrug of his shoulders. He placed another quick peck on her cheek before saying, "But Casey," he took her face in his hands, "you truly are gorgeous." 

"You're just saying that because I'm a total mess right now," she debated. 

Ethan gazed at her for a long second before getting up and leaving her alone with herself once again. Casey stared back at the mirror, her shoulders now sagged with defeat, questioning why Ethan had left her in such a hurry. 

A few minutes later a faint tune began to play throughout the house. She couldn't make out the song, but the beat had sounded familiar. Soon enough Ethan had made his way back into the bedroom, offering Casey his hand.

"Ethan, what are you doing?" Casey said begrudgingly laying her hand in his. Ethan ignored her question and continued to drag her by her palm. "Ethan," Casey groaned. Ethan let go of her gently as they entered the kitchen. On the counter sat a small speaker, that was the culprit for the noise she had heard earlier. Ethan gathered Casey in his arms as the words began to play.

I found a love for me

Darling, just dive right in

And follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

The two began to sway to the music, holding each other tightly. Casey leaned her head on his shoulder and their bodies rocked to the rhythm. A sigh of release drew out of Casey's lungs. She felt comfortable in his arms. She felt confident. 

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listenin' to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

Ethan gracefully spun Casey on her toes, her dress billowed as the air caught underneath it. The moment was picturesque, beautiful, and timely. Ethan wraps this hands around her waist, as Casey laid her hands around the nape of his neck. 

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Ethan sang along to the words you look perfect tonight in a low, croaky voice. Small tears cascaded from Casey's eyes. She felt overwhelmed with happiness, with love. A contagious smile had now consumed her face and Ethan's. He slowly leaned forward his forehead meeting hers and stared into her eyes. "You're so beautiful, Casey, it's beyond comprehension," he whispered. 

Casey offered a small laugh. Her laughter was intoxicating to him. It was like a drug, making him feel light and full of bliss.

 "I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing human to call my mine," she questioned. 

"I wonder that daily," he professed as he spun her around again. 

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fightin' against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

The song continued to play in the background. But she couldn't hear the words. She couldn't hear the music. Everything faded away as she was entranced by him. The melody of his heart beating, the way he looked at her with more love than she could ever fathom, these were the things that made her forget about everything around her. At that moment Casey decided to let go. Let her worry, her pain, her discomfort go. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore; other than him. 

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

Casey's attention turned towards Ethan as she heard him murmur the words I have met an angel in person with the song. She drew impossibly closer to Ethan as the song came to a saddening end. 

No, I don't deserve this

You look perfect tonight

Ethan closed the distance between them, their lips meeting softly and delicately long enough that he could inhale her breath, feel the warmth of her skin, and the taste of her sweetness. Casey sighed against his lips, allowing herself to relax. The bristles of his beard scratched at her cheeks as she worked her mouth tenderly against his. The kiss soon broke, as the music dissipated into a silent hum. He knew that she was perfect, but it was going to take time until she had understood that for herself. And until that time, he was going to remind her of it daily.

[daisugababy]

unedited sneak peek for the upcoming chapter of seattle: become human bc it’s valentine’s day so why not?? :)

February 14th 2039, 8:36 pm

When Levi opened the door to their house, all he wanted to do was to take a shower and then sleep. Did going to sleep at 9 pm on Valentine’s day make him sound boring? Maybe. Maybe a little bit. But he just got off a 24-hour shift, including a 16-hour surgery with Dr. Kepner and at this point he didn't care what the universe or his housemates would think of him. He was just exhausted and wanted to get some rest.  

Already imagining himself naked in the shower, closed eyes and hot water burning his skin, he kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat. Oh yes, with each step he took towards the bathroom, he could already smell that expensive sandalwood shower gel that Casey had gotten him as his Secret Santa last year.

He stopped, however, when he passed the kitchen, an unfamiliar, but definitely pleasantly smell catching his attention. He took a little detour and found Nico behind the kitchen counter, tossing the contents in a wok that Levi had never seen before, looking like a real professional. Nico always looked like he knew how to do things, even when he never tried them before.

With anyone else, it would have annoyed Levi, but with Nico... With Nico it was different.

Perfection was in his programming. He was manufactured to be a perfect surgeon. And he was able to learn almost anything within a few tries.  

Maybe that’s why he liked watercolors so much. He didn’t immediately conjure up a perfect painting. In fact, it took him weeks to produce something that he was somewhat satisfied with. Levi thought everything he did was perfect in a way. Even his first tries. They made him more...

Less like a machine. An actual...being. A being with flaws and imperfections.  

Levi had learned that Nico liked having a challenge. He liked having to really try to do something and to improve himself. Maybe not being perfect was his way of separating himself from his programming. To prove that he was someone who still had to learn. Who still could learn.

Upon closing in on his housemate, Levi began to recognize the wok. Casey’s mom had given it to him ages ago when he moved out first while being in pre-med. He had used it maybe once or twice before. It eventually landed in the furthest corner of the cabinets of the kitchen island. It originally wasn’t really a kitchen island. They had this one cabinet that Dahlia brought in and then decided to place a countertop onto it. A few bar stools later, they had a place to eat at or to just stare at the designated cook of the night. That was, if they didn’t just prepare something together.

Cooking together was a whole other story though. A story that wasn’t told often in this house due to recurring arguments.

Sitting down on one of the bar stools, Levi watched Nico move around, stirring the wok and checking the pot that Levi previously missed to notice.

“Do I have enough time to take a shower, or are you almost done?” Levi didn’t want to have him wait for too long, but he was definitely feeling very grimy from work today. And while Nico probably wouldn’t be bothered by it, Levi didn’t want Nico to associate him with the scent of sweat.

“Go ahead, it’ll take at least 15 minutes. So don’t rush,” Nico said, his hand sending him off before he turned around again to stir the wok.

When the smell of sandalwood surrounded him, Levi leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He welcomed the hot water hitting his skin, washing away the sweat and stress of the day. He loved being a surgeon, saving people’s lives and all that. But it sure as hell was exhausting and had him longing for his bed 90 percent of his existence outside the hospital. That longing got more bearable though as soon as he was surrounded by his friends and furry children.

Levi smiled softly at the thought. He was really lucky to have found them. And he wouldn’t change a thing even if it could cancel out his tiredness.

He turned off the water, immediately missing its heat on his body. He reminded himself that better things were waiting for him downstairs as he stepped out of the shower onto the bath mat. He wiped the steam from the mirror above the sink to look at his reflection.

He knew he didn’t have enough time to make himself look truly dashing, but Nico was cooking for him and he didn’t just want to show up in his pajamas. So he dried his hair as best as possible with a towel and put on a nice shirt and jeans. He tried to do something with his hair, but it just ended up being his usual curly mess. Maybe he could play it off as part of his charm.

Maybe.

It’s not like he was going on a date or anything. It was just dinner. That Nico cooked. Nothing new or special. Absolutely not. It might be the day of commercial love, but that didn’t have to make it a date. Just because it was only them and Nico cooked something that smelled delicious while looking good, just like he always did.

When Levi entered the kitchen, it was dark inside. He looked around and found the food as well as Nico missing. Normally if Nico cooked, they’d sit at the kitchen island with Levi chomping down the dish and Nico drinking a cup of thirium. They’d talk about their day, plans for the weekend or just enjoyed the silent company of the other. Silence between them was never awkward.

Levi’s next stop was the living room. And sure enough, the smell of food got stronger with every step he took. Just on cue his stomach was growling loudly, reminding him that the last time he ate anything was right before the surgery had started.

All of that rumble was forgotten about though as soon as he stepped into the living room. Nico was sitting on the couch, Kali crawling onto his lap, Sprinkles next to them, licking his fur as if Nico had told him to spruce up. The only light in the room came from the fireplace and the fairy lights that Dahlia had installed throughout the room pre-Christmas.  

Slowly, Levi approached the couch, marveling at how cozy it all looked and how Nico looked like he just belonged here. Here and nowhere else. And Levi belonged here too. They both were absolutely and one hundred percent meant to be here. Together. Levi could feel it with every fiber of his being. And it was in that moment that he knew that whatever the future might hold for them, he would do absolutely anything to make sure that the man in front of him was safe. That he could be and do anything he wanted without ever having to be afraid.

“Oh.” Nico turned his head to look at Levi when he touched his right shoulder, hand gliding over to his left as he sat down next to him.

“It looks wonderful,” Levi whispered, feeling Nico wrap his arm around him.

“You do too.” Levi closed his eyes and tried to hide the grin that accompanied the heat that rose to his cheeks. Sometimes he forgot how smooth Nico could be if he wanted.

He opened his eyes again to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was a helpless “I –”

“Dinner is getting cold,” Nico noted with a smile, fingers tapping Levi’s upper arm, sending shivers down his spine. If it wasn’t for the food in front of him that Nico had spent his time on, Levi could’ve just stayed like this for the rest of the night, begging stomach completely ignored.

[pieswhump]

Whumptober 2021 #4- Do you trust me/Taken hostage

Warnings- Knife at someone’s throat, blood, gun mentions, self deprecating thoughts of the “i deserve it” variety, death mentions, pet as a nickname?

Timeline- About a month into Jeremiah’s time with the Oracles.

He's never been to one of these meetings. He knew they happened, but much like the parties, Jeremiah had never been brought along. He didn't expect to be a bodyguard for a meeting, either.

He might have gone to one if he stayed with the Cardinals. But his mission was here, a perfect spy. He didn't expect to be on the opposite side of a negotiation like this.

Andrei is across the bridge, in his business outfit. Black suit, off-white shirt, red tie, matching red gloves. On his left is Casey Woodmas, his grin sharp. His gun is under his shirt, and his hand is resting on his hip.

Behind both of them is Robin Leblanc, a mask covering their face and their hood concealing their distinctive red hair. They busy themselves with sorting through their weapons, polishing a saber to a perfect shine.

And on Andrei's right side is a man Jeremiah has never seen before.

The man has side-swept sandy-brown hair and deep, dark green eyes. Jeremiah isn't even sure if they're green, in the dim lights. His skin is pale but it looks like it was tan once, like he hasn't been out in the sun for a while. He looks angry and terrified.

Jeremiah doesn't remember him. He knows most of the Cardinals, even if they don't know him. This must be a recruit, then. He shouldn't worry about it.

He wouldn't worry about it if it weren't for the way Andrei is right by his side, a cocky smirk on his face. The man has a sweater that matches his eyes, white slacks, and white boots. Jeremiah's pretty sure he's worn something similar, before.

There's a scar on his cheek that stretches up to the bridge of his nose, hard to make out from here. It's on his right cheek, and Jeremiah gingerly reaches up to touch the matching scar on his left cheek. Across the bridge, he sees the green-eyed man do the same.

Andrei leans closer, whispers something in his ear. Something red hot and furious floods his veins. He didn't think he was a jealous person but the idea of this… of this stranger that he isn't sure if he can trust, growing so close to Andrei in his absence? The idea that Andrei forgot about him, while he was gone, or worse, abandoned him? Did Andrei replace him? They have matching scars if nothing else.

Maybe they were to be a pair when Jeremiah returns to his rightful place. And oh, does he hate that. He hates the idea that he might have to be partnered with a stranger he's never met but Andrei already loves, and he can't say no to Andrei. Jeremiah finds himself suddenly wanting to punch the man in the face, his face going warm and his hands twitching for something to grab ahold of.

Drew must sense his tension, see the way his cheeks are red with anger. They smile. "We'll be alright. It's just negotiations, no one is going to die. The medics are just in case."

The words are comforting, even if they don't understand his tension. He turns, smiling at them effortlessly. "I know, but I appreciate that anyway."

Drew smiles back, turning back to the dead space in front of them.

There are roughly twenty feet between the groups, enough to feel separate but not enough to break the crackling tension. It feels like ice underfoot. The river below is quietly flowing, the only sound around them. No one speaks.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Max and Andrei walk forward. They meet in the middle of the bridge, exchange a terse handshake, and walk back a few steps. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Drew and Casey walk forward as well, standing at their respective sides.

The leaders and their hands, their most trusted advisors. The medics and bodyguards stay behind, but both teams know that their hands are more useful in a fight than the appointed guards.

Jeremiah and the Oracles' medic- a woman named Kennedy a few years older than Max- remain in their spaces.

He's borrowing one of Max's guns, the weight uncomfortable against his hip. He can shoot just fine- Andrei wouldn't have it any other way when he went off on this mission- but the knowledge that he might have to shoot feels strange.

The man in green stays behind with Robin- he must be the Cardinals' medic.

He doesn't listen in to the conversation, but he hears them talking distantly. This is about territory disputes if he remembers correctly. Andrei had been pushing against Oracles' territory for a while, but he's started ramping it up.

Jeremiah can see Andrei thinking, even from this distance. It's terrifying. There are so many outcomes of this event, spiraling and fracturing and there's no way to know what's going to happen.

Andrei is planning something, and he doesn't know what.

The previously quiet conversation gets louder and louder and crescendos into shouting. He looks up, eyes wide and one hand shifting to the gun holstered at his waist. Drew and Casey are shouting- not surprising, they're both hot-headed. Max is trying to calm down Drew, and Andrei just… watches.

Andrei's gaze shifts to Jeremiah, heavy but not oppressive. Something feels different about it though, and he carefully looks away, down at the ground.

He didn't wear a signifier of what side he was on- his presence at Max's side was a signal of his loyalty. Except it wasn't

Andrei could call him over and he would go back to his side, look Max straight in the eyes and watch his heart crumble and break. He would expose the tattoo on his side, a permanent marker of who he is and who he belongs to if Andrei asked him to.

He would watch Drew aim at his own heart, their green gaze glinting under the dim streetlights. He wouldn't move unless Andrei told him to. He wouldn't pull out his weapon, wouldn't dare to threaten Drew.

Then their gun would go off and Jeremiah's sweater would go sticky and wet and brilliant with blood the color of cardinal's wings. Poetic justice, maybe. He'd fade, staring into Andrei's hopefully concerned eyes. He wouldn't regret a thing. He thinks he'd deserve it, though.

Drew wouldn't cry, not in the open. They'd shove it down and make themselves tea and they'd only talk about it when Max breaks down in front of them. He isn't sure if Drew would regret shooting him or not. It's not his place to know, and he's not going to ask.

Jeremiah almost loses himself to his spiraling thoughts that fracture into countless different what-if scenarios. They're dizzying and terrifying, the knowledge that one of them (who is them? The Cardinals, his family? Or the Oracles, the ones that have kept him safe?) could die today.

The loud conversation goes silent.

There are footsteps in front of him.

He hears Kennedy inhale sharply, so he spares a glance down to his chest- his sweater is the same butterscotch yellow it's always been, the button-up underneath pristine. He's okay.

He looks up at the footsteps, and Andrei is in front of him. He can barely stop himself from reaching out.

Andrei grins, before clasping a hand over his mouth and pulling him tight against his chest.

Kennedy cries out and reaches for him, but suddenly there's something sharp and cold at his throat.

Oh.

Andrei leans down to whisper in his ear. "Do you trust me, Kelgris?"

Jeremiah barely nods, not wanting to risk the knife cutting into his neck.

Andrei's answer is practically a purr. "Good."

Andrei slowly walks back to the center of the bridge, and he's forced to walk with. Casey doesn't seem confused to see him on the opposing side- no, he looks hungry.

Max and Drew, though…

Max looks horrified. He glances down at the gun holstered at his waist, clearly not understanding why he wouldn't shoot. Drew's hands are balled into fists, their green eyes blazing with fury. They practically growl, and they look close to tackling Andrei and ripping his throat out with their teeth.

Max speaks, voice barely wavering. "Let him go."

"And what if I don't, Maxwell?"

Max wrinkles his nose at the name and briefly glances around. "I'll trade for him."

Andrei laughs, low and terrifying. It's a jolt of adrenaline in his veins, and he whimpers quietly.

"I'd assume you would, this is a hostage situation after all. What do you have to trade, my dear knight?"

Drew grabs Max's wrist, turning them around and talking in hushed tones. He can't hear a word. They both turn back around, and Max looks almost green. "I'll trade some of my territories for his safety."

Andrei starts, the blade of the knife slipping against Jeremiah's neck. He feels a few trickles of blood slide down, staining his shirt.

"How much?"

Max pauses for a brief second. "A half-mile inside the western border, a mile long."

Andrei hums before the knife digs in just slightly, hot blood running down his throat. Jeremiah inhales, eyes going wide. There are bursts of pain radiating out, and he feels tears forming.

"Not good enough."

Max's eyes widen. "What?"

"I said, not good enough. What about Cross street?"

Jeremiah winces. Cross street- the Oracles' main source of income. Two gambling halls, a few restaurants, and a couple of ethical brothels.

Drew explodes at Max's side. "Cross street? Like hell we'd hand that over to you!"

"Hm, guess you don't care very much for little Kelgris."

Jeremiah takes in a sharp breath, and he can feel the world cracking and falling apart at the seams. No, this isn't supposed to be happening. They aren't supposed to know.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the man in green startle. Max's expression shifts, his eyebrows furrowing. Drew doesn't seem to notice what he might have just revealed, but they don't know Andrei the way Max does.

Some part of him is thrilled that he didn't mess up. He wasn't the one to bring it all crashing down, it isn't his fault. But the rest of him knows he'll be blamed anyway.

Max's voice is slow and brimming with anger. "Kelgris."

Andrei pauses, half a second and all the time in the world. "Well, that's clearly what he is. A perfect pet."

Jeremiah stops. Is… is that what his nickname means? Andrei had never told him what Kelgris had meant, had only ruffled his hair and told him it was hard to translate. He always said it with such affection, Jeremiah had started ranking it among names like darling and sweetheart. A harmless pet name.

He smiles slightly. Ha. Pet name.

Besides, it's not like it makes a difference. Andrei cares for him- it doesn't matter what his nickname means. He says it fondly. It's okay if his nickname means… it's okay if it means something that sends twisting dread into his stomach. Andrei likes it, and Jeremiah likes the way the word sounds.

Now he just has to ignore the definition of it.

Max stares Andrei down, barely concealed anger written in every tense limb. "A restaurant and a brothel, on Cross street. We won't change the branding so people will still go there, but all the profits will be sent to the Cardinals."

Andrei tilts his head, thinking. The knife digs in just a slight bit more, bursts of hot blood running down from the slice. Jeremiah doesn't dare to breathe more than a few shallow breaths.

"Fine."

It's less than he would've normally settled for, but Andrei didn't want to hurt him, did he?

The knife leaves his throat and there's a rough hand at his back propelling him forward. Jeremiah lets himself be pushed, pushed towards comfort and safety and the closest thing to a home he has.

Drew catches him in their arms before pulling them towards Kennedy. Her eyes are wide and concerned as she inspects the injury.

Jeremiah pulls himself away slightly, turning just in time to see the man in green set his jaw and walk forward towards Jeremiah.

Max's eyes widen with something he can't discern. Drew looks shocked but not surprised, staring at the man but not with fear.

But it's nothing compared to the fury he sees sparking in Andrei's expression, the red hot anger that makes him instinctively shy away against Kennedy's chest.

He stops a few feet away, and he can see him closer now. Freckles are dusting his cheeks, just barely there. His hair is brittle and fragile, and his eyes are a deep and dark green. He looks… he looks concerned.

The man in green's voice is rough and almost a bit choked. "Are you okay?"

He doesn't like the man in green, but he doesn't want to see him hurt. And the expression on Andrei's face has never meant anything other than pain, for Jeremiah.

He weighs responding, realizing that it'll be better to be polite. It'll look good, on both sides.

"I'll be fine"

He dissolves into coughs after. He doesn't feel fine, blood still steadily trickling down his throat. But it's true- he will be fine, eventually.

"Good."

Before he can wrap his head around the brief conversation, the man in green silently walks straight back to Andrei's side. Andrei claps a hand over the back of his neck, before giving Max a sickly sweet smile. "I will see you soon to arrange our agreement, my dear knight."

Max bristles, but then the Cardinals turn tail together and walk away.

The man in green does not look back.

[misteria247]

Forgotten

Chapter Four

April stood on the sidewalk, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Casey to arrive at her apartment. From the moment she'd called him last night, the two had began to plan. Since they didn't know if what the driver saw was actually who they hoped it was, the duo had decided to keep the information to themselves. The last thing they wanted was to get the others hopes up only for it to be a bust. Which led to their current plan. Search the gas station and the surrounding areas. See if they find anything and go from there. Not really the brightest idea the two had come up with but it was better than nothing. April sighed and pulled out her cellphone to scroll through her social media while she waited.

The sounds of the early birds echoed throughout the usual busy streets as April scrolled, enjoying the somewhat peace and quiet that was rare for New York. Then again it was rather early for anyone other than workers or animals to be awake. April had insisted that she and Casey left early in the morning when she'd called him, wanting to use as much time as she could to search thoroughly for any sign of Leonardo. Surprisingly Casey agreed with her, the young man itching just as much as she was to get the search started.

'Hopefully we'll find something....'

April thought, trying not to let the feeling of doubt overwhelm her. She wanted to be somewhat positive with this and hold on to hope that she and Casey would find something. Even though it seemed unlikely. After four years of nothing but grief and mourning only for something like this to happen out of the blue. It was suspicious if she thought about it logically.

'It could be a trap, after all The Shredder is still out there running at large.'

Her mind supplied. The woman couldn't help but feel a hot shot of anger consume her as she thought about the Foot Clan's master. The Shredder, the most dangerous enemy she and the boys have ever faced. He was cunning and ruthless and downright monstrous when given the chance to be. He lived for the suffering of others, especially the Hamato family. The Shredder who had caused so much damage and suffering to many innocents in New York City. April was so caught up in her angry thoughts that she didn't notice the large van pulling up in front of her until the sound of a beeping horn startled her half to death. April jumped tripping backwards onto the sidewalk as she let out a startled shriek. Her startled state turned into annoyance as the sound of familiar laughter filled the air.

"Oh God! You....! You should've seen.....! Your face....!"

Casey said in between bouts of laughter. April felt her face break out into a bright red blush from embarrassment and anger as Casey wheezed in his van.

"Casey Jones!"

April seethed standing up with a glare. Eyes narrowed she nearly tore the passenger door open and hopped into the van, fuming while Casey tried to calm down.

"Sorry....Ape. Here a peace offering."

Casey said with another shutter of laughter as he handed her a hot cup of fresh coffee. April glared at it for a beat before taking it with a grumble while Casey smirked in amusement. Once April was buckled into her seat Casey took off towards the city limits, his dark eyes focused on the road. The duo was quiet as he drove through the streets, watching the sun start to rise over the tall skyscrapers. The silence didn't last too long as Casey finally decided to break it.

"Do you really think it could be him April?"

Casey asked his voice serious and quiet, no longer filled with his earlier amusement and laughter. April stiffened a bit before letting out a sigh.

"I....I don't know Casey. But I have to go and look. If I don't I'll never forgive myself."

April replied softly her voice wavering slightly. Casey gave his companion a slightly concerned look. He knew how much this effected her, how much it effected the Hamato family. He just like her had been grieving for the loss that they'd experienced. When he'd received the phone call last night he'd been shocked to say the least. The news that Leo could still be out there.....that he could still be alive had shaken him more than he'd care to admit.

"If he's out there Ape, we'll find him and bring him home."

Casey said giving her a determined side glance. April looked at him before a small dull smile came onto her face.

"Yeah....we will."

She said softly before turning to stare out the window. The two didn't talk anymore after that, both lost in their thoughts. They knew that this was a shot in the dark, that they'd most likely come home empty handed and devastated but they wouldn't give up on that small sliver of hope. Not now, not after four years of nothing. They had to hope or else they'd completely break.

~~~~~

The drive out of the city felt like an eternity before they'd finally made it to the gas station. Casey drove the van into the old gas station's parking lot, the tiny building looking old but still working. Finding a place off to the side to park Casey parked the van and turned it off. The duo exchanged a quick look before they unbuckled and got out of their vehicle. April blinked as the sun hit her face, the early morning rays painting the somewhat small woodland area and gas station in shades of pink and white. April had to take a breather as she started to process that this was happening. She and Casey were really doing this thing.

"So where should we search first?"

Casey asked opening up the back of his van and reaching for his duffel bag. April spotted the familiar baseball bat sticking out of the one side as Casey slung the bag over his shoulder.

"We'll go inside the station first and find a map of the surrounding areas so we can keep track of which places we've looked. Once we've got our map we'll start with the wooden area behind the station here. If whatever that driver saw was near the gas station then it probably couldn't have gone too far."

April stated adjusting her jacket a bit. Casey nodded and shut the van doors.

"Alrighty then. Lead the way red."

He said with a small smirk. April shot him an unamused look before walking towards the station to get a map. Inside the building was small, much like a small home owned store. The old sounds of an air conditioner could be heard as April and Casey made their way inside to search for the map section. Looking through the racks April skimmed through them before finally finding what she was looking for. Grabbing one she made her way to the checkout. Shortly after Casey joined her with a few snack foods, granola bars and several bottles of water. The cashier looked at them before scanning their items and asking for the payment. One payment later and the duo were again back outside and made their way into the woodland area near the station and began their search.

~~~~~

Nothing.

They'd found nothing.

Other than the normal things and trash that littered the woods from time to time, April and Casey had found nothing. No footprints, nothing out of place, no broken branches or any other signs of recent interference other than old garbage. It was soul crushing to say the least. Casey stood a few feet behind April as he watched her search in an almost desperate way. It broke his heart seeing the usually strong woman look so broken down.

"April....I think we should call it quits......"

Casey said in a somewhat hesitant manner. April stopped in her searching at his words, her posture going rigid.

"But....but Casey...."

April started to say, turning her head towards him. Casey couldn't help but flinch as he saw the broken expression on April's face. He'd known that the chances of finding anything involving Leo were slim and he knew that April knew that too.

"We knew that there was a slim chance of.....of finding him alive....."

Casey said softly his tone shaking slightly. April stared at him, looking so broken down at that moment. He couldn't help but think back four years ago, when she'd given him that same broken look when the news of Leonardo's demise was told to them.

'Maybe this was a mistake. Coming out here and chasing ghosts from the past. She's still not over it. None of us are and we probably never will be.'

He thought as he went to squat next to her. With a small movement he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. As soon as she was in his arms the damn broke for her as April began to silently cry into his shoulder.

"I.....I had hoped......damnit why....?!? Why!?!"

April choked out gripping his shirt. Casey just held her tighter.

"I know, I was hoping too April. Let's just.....let's just get home. We've done all we can."

He said soothingly. April nodded slowly before letting him go. Wiping her eyes she tried to pull herself together but it was hard. Logically she knew deep down that this was the outcome of searching for Leo but emotionally she'd dared to hope that maybe she and Casey would find him. Sniffling she let Casey help her up onto her feet and with a gentle but supportive hand he started to led her out of the area they were in. The walk back to the station was about thirty minutes to an hour depending on how long the person walking them took. The duo started their journey back, a somber silence stretching between them. The sky was growing dark and the crickets began to chirp around them, the evening surprisingly peaceful.

April should have known that it wouldn't last long.

It'd only been a good five minutes before everything went to hell in a way. She hadn't watched where she was walking too consumed by her grief when her foot went sideways causing April to stumble over. She let out a startled shriek as she fell, grabbing onto Casey and unintentionally dragging him down with her. The two went tumbling rolling on the uneven ground as they descended. In a pile of limbs they landed on the ground off of the trail, pained hisses and groans coming from them.

"You ow, alright April?"

Casey groaned out as he was elbowed in the ribs by accident.

"Shit I'm sorry Case, and I'm good just bruised....."

April mumbled out before trailing off staring straight ahead of her. Casey managed to get untangled from her and sat up rubbing his ribs before noticing that something was wrong.

"Ape? You okay? What's gotten you so...."

Casey stopped dead in his sentence as he looked in the direction that she was, his dark gaze going wide. There a good few feet or so away from them was a small shelter, just hidden from view with leaves and branches. It was new and hastily made but it was serving its purpose.

"You've got to be kidding me...."

Casey breathed stunned at what he was seeing. April didn't say a word instead stumbling back up to her feet and she scrambled towards the shelter to look at it better. Casey was right behind her, his own klutzy footsteps following. The two stared at it in a stunned silence, daring to hope once again.

Could it be.....?

April reached forward with a shaking hand and moved the leaves from the entrance way to look inside. Littered on the ground was a bag with all sorts of things in it from herbs to granola bar wrappers. All of it new and barely a day or two old. April snapped her gaze to Casey, her eyes shining so brightly it nearly blinded him.

"Casey....! I think we found him-!"

April didn't get to finish her sentence as something large came from above them and slammed them into the ground. April let out a pained yelp as she felt an arm swing out and slam into her gut. Casey's pained swear rang out as he was kicked to the ground. April forced herself to breathe as she watched Casey recover quicker than her and pull out his baseball bat swinging it as hard as he could. The thing that attacked them remained unseen, dodging out of the way. From there out a full fight broke out. Casey swung and fought the shadowy creature, while April got herself together again to try and help him.

'It's fast-!'

April thought startled as the creature kicked Casey in the chest making him stumble over. April didn't think as she grabbed a nearby branch and swung it hitting it in the back. She heard a pained hiss before it turned on her and launched itself at her. April fell the thing on top of her and pinning her down. She barely managed to make out the hint of metal in its hand as she squirmed to get free.

'Knife, its got a knife!'

She struggled to get out from under it as it raised its blade ready to run her through when Casey came up from behind and smashed the baseball bat against its back. A pained scream rang out as Casey grabbed April and yanked her up before shoving her behind him ready to attack again when they both froze. Now bathed in the fading light of the evening sun they finally saw who their attacker was. Dark green skin, a hard shell and two terrified and pained blue hues stared at them. April's heart stopped.

"L-Leo....?"

She whimpered out making the turtle stiffen. Confusion filtered his gaze before he snapped out of it and went for them again, his eyes wide and desperate. Casey didn't hesitate as he swung the bat again this time knocking him down for good with a hit to the head. Leo fell to the ground in a pained yelp before going out cold. The only sounds were of April and Casey's heavy breathing as they stared at their friend, shocked and confused. It was only a second later before the two of them broke. Casey dropped his baseball bat and began to apologize over and over again as he fell to his knees to look the unconscious teen over. April's legs gave out as the adrenaline wore off and the shock and disbelief and pain overwhelmed her. The red head didn't even stop herself from bursting into tears as she shakily grabbed Leo's head to look at him, the look he'd given her burned into her mind forever.

The fear, the pain, the lack of recognition as he attacked them in what she now understood was self defense. All of it came crashing down and broke her in a way. She was conflicted, emotions fighting within her. Relief, shock, disbelief, hurt, guilt. All of it swallowed her and she could see that Casey was feeling the same way.

They'd found Leonardo.

But at what cost?

~~~~~

All was quiet in the lair save for the lone rat that sat in the dojo alone, a small shrine in front of him. His sons had retired for the night leaving him alone with his thoughts and grief. Splinter stared at the shrine with a broken look, a picture of his eldest son and his broken katanas hanging on the wall. The old rat fought the wave of pain that threatened to consume him, silent tears running down his fur.

Four years.

It's been four years since the death of his eldest son.

Four years since he and his family struggled to overcome their grief and loss. Many would think that after four years would ease the pain for the ninja master but it didn't. It still tore him apart, it still ate away at him slowly. Losing one of his children was one of the worst things the rat could have ever experienced in all his long life. Splinter loved his sons more than anything in this world, he treasured each and every one of them. He raised them and cared for them. He taught them to defend themselves and the innocents of the city. He taught them the importance of family and everything else he'd learned in his lifetime. Yet nothing could have prepared them for this. Splinter gripped his robes, fighting off the grief as he remembered that day. How his youngest children Donatello and Michelangelo had made it back to the lair.

How they'd waited for the two others, Leonardo and Raphael to return home. How his second eldest son came home, bloody and bruised and cradling something in his arms in a protective way. He remembered how his boy, his strong son fell to his knees and sobbed as he laid the two broken swords on the ground and the sentence that had broken their entire family.

'Leo's gone. The Shredder....he....he killed him.'

At that moment something broke in Splinter and his sons. Like a string that held their family of five together had been snipped and with it his eldest son. For four years he and his sons grieved and mourned for their loss. For four years they felt nothing but rage towards The Shredder who had already taken so much from them. Splinter had noticed that over the years his sons had began to harbor hatred towards their enemy, especially Raphael. Not that he could blame them for he too deep down held some himself. Before Splinter could dig deeper into the memories the sound of a phone ringing sounded out through the lair. The old rat got up from his position, saying a small prayer to the shrine before going to answer the phone. Stepping out of the dojo and into the kitchen he grabbed the house line phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

He spoke his voice raspy and somewhat thick sounding. He cursed himself for it.

"Master Splinter? It's April."

April's voice spoke through the phone.

"Ah Mrs. O'Neil. I wasn't expecting a call from you this evening. Is there something that you need?"

Splinter asked somewhat nervous for some reason. April was quiet for a moment before she took a deep breath. Splinter felt himself stiffen up at that, his whiskers twitching in his unease. When she answered the world spiraled into chaos.

"Master Splinter. We found him, Leonardo's alive."

*Whoop we're on a roll tonight aren't we???? I honestly wasn't expecting this to become a series but I'm a self indulgent bastard so I'm sticking to the train lol. Anyways I've decided that the turtles are probably gonna be the 2012 ones with a little bit of the 2003 ones (sorry 2018 boys maybe next time). Maybe a little bit of the 1990 ones mixed in who knows. Also it seems we're finally getting somewhere with our main boys! Anyways if any y'all read this I hope you enjoyed it!!!!*