#and yet i don't see anybody talking about it - or at least none that i know of

[alteredphoenix]

The Ties That Bind Us

[a-hazbin-reader]

Can you do an Alastor x fem!reader where Alastor confesses his love to her, but she doesn't believe him, thinking it's some kind of sick joke? She just laughs nervously, saying something like “yeah, yeah, I got it, very good joke, Al, your humor is getting better,” expecting that it will actually turn out to be some kind of prank

However, Alastor doesn't stop and tries to convey to her that he really loves her, but she still doesn't believe him because she doesn't trust him completely. Like, he's the radio demon, one of the most dangerous and powerful overlords who seemingly despised the idea of ​​getting close to someone, what if he just wants to trick her so he can maybe make a deal with her or something?? That's why at first she tries to avoid him in order to get rid of this awkwardness due to his confessions, but gradually in the end she begins to meet him halfway and considers the idea of ​​​​starting to date him after all. Not official yet, but the chances are great

WELP-

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None?? I think??

Description: ☝️⬆️

You're used to expecting the worst-case scenario and protecting your heart first and foremost, it's just how you learned to survive

You've learned not to trust anyone, especially anybody down here in hell with you, everyone has an ulterior motive

Yet...by some weird twist of fate you found yourself a home at the hotel, Charlie somehow having convinced you to stay

Whether or not you believed in redemption, you couldn't deny that you didn't feel a sense of closeness with everyone there

Even Alastor was nice to hang around sometimes, though you didn't trust him in the slightest

How could you? The Radio Demon?? He's got plans for his plans and only sees people for their use, he doesn't care about anyone, especially not you

You're just amusing to him, which is fine, you can tolerate being amusing just not being used

You had a comfortable relationship with the overlord which was something that not many people could say

You two got along well enough, spent a good amount of time together and actually had decent conversations

He'a charming and handsome, a dangerous combination but you were far too addicted to his presence now to worry about it, you can still protect your heart

Or at least you did, until Alastor decided to toy with your feelings, how he found out about your budding crush was beyond you

You two were walking alone together at night, laughing at some couple you two had witnessed earlier, teasing them

"I just don't understand how any man could be that whipped for a woman! I can't wrap my head around it..!"

Instead of joining in your laughter, he hummed and looked over at you strangely before looking ahead

"Oh, I don't know... I find myself understanding men like that a little more these days."

It's like a bucket of ice water just fell on you, your laughter cutting off as you look at him in confusion

"What do you mean? Are you...seeing someone or something?"

He looks as uncomfortable as a man with a permanent smile can be, tapping his claws against his staff

"Heavens no, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone special in my life... someone I wouldn't mind courting."

He gives you a meaningful glance then looks away again, stopping suddenly and facing you

"Alastor-"

"I wouldn't mind being whipped for you."

Your stomach sours and you frown, pushing at his shoulder a little harder than you meant to

"Yeah, that's real funny, Alastor. Why don't you go try that joke on someone else next time?"

You walk off as quickly as you can, leaving a baffled looking Alastor in your dust

Do you have any idea how hard it was for him to confess!? He grits his teeth and rubs his hand over his face as he watches you run away from him

You don't talk to him the next day, or the day after that, in fact... Alastor is pretty sure you're avoiding him because any time he tries to talk to you-

You find an excuse to run off, your relationship with him awkward and nervously hanging on by a thread

He ruined it and all your walls came right back up

You should've known he would exploit your weakness like that, should've seen that he was only being so good to you because he wanted to use everything he learned against you

You don't know what he gets out of it or what his goal is, but you're sure he's got an angle

Even now, he's trying to mess with your feelings, bringing you flowers, pushing little notes under your door, one time he even tried to serenade you

He keeps trying to tell you that he cares about you, that he feels for you, that he wants you, and you just don't want to hear it

It hurts to be toyed with

Everyone else at the hotel can see what's happening between you two which makes everything that much more embarrassing

"Come on, Husk! I know you know something! Why is he targeting me!? What do I have that he wants?"

Husk looks visibly uncomfortable, looking over your body before looking away, suddenly interested in a smudge on a glass

"I don't know anything so quit asking me! Why don't you just sit down and talk with him, huh?"

Oh, he knows something

Angel smirks and nudges your leg with his own, invading your personal space to further tease you

"You're tellin' me that you ain't flattered by all this attention he's givin' you? I've seen the way he's been mooning over you lately, and let me tell you~ That shit ain't fake~"

You huff and shake your head, mostly to hide the blush on your face from them

"He has an angle, everyone always does."

"Look if you wanna be a blind bitch then be my guest but at least promise me you'll hit that and tell me the details~?"

"ANGEL!"

You can't avoid Alastor forever no matter how hard you try, eventually running into him late one night when everyone else is in bed

You should've known better than to get that late night snack, but you had skipped dinner earlier, and you were hungry

You're washing your plate off when you hear Alastor walk in, stiffening once you realize you have no real excuse to run away anymore

"Alastor-"

He sucks in a breath and stays still as if scared he'll chase you away, which he might actually be worried about due to your actions lately

"I know you think I confessed to you in order to get something from you but that's far from the truth. I do genuinely find myself attached to you."

You feel your lip wobble a little, hugging yourself as you look away from him

"Don't. Don't you dare mess with me like this or I'll never forgive you, Alastor."

He takes another step closer to you, cautious as if trying not to scare you away

"I'm being entirely honest with you, I've fallen for you in ways I can't even begin to understand or convey to you. These last few weeks have been torture for me."

He's gripping your arms gently to stop you from turning away, the simple touch spreading warmth throughout your body

You have missed him a lot...

"I'm not asking that you confess your love to me, I only want a chance to show you I'm being genuine with you..."

You glance up at him before taking a step back, blushing furiously at the pathetic puppy eyes he's giving you

You can't believe you're going to agree to this, he better not make you regret it later or you'll make him suffer for it

You sigh and point at him, doing your best to remain calm and not let your emotions show

"I'll think about it, okay? Just...give me time to think."

He visibly relaxes and sighs in relief, giving you a warm smile as if you had just said yes

"That's more than I could ask for, I'll wait hundreds of years for you if that's what you want."

You blush more and have to cover your mouth to stop an excited squeal from escaping your lips

"Q-quit flirting with me! I already said I'd think about it..!"

He chuckles softly and reaches out to rub your cheek before pulling away and turning to leave

"Okay okay~ I'll wait for you...~"

He leaves you there in the dark, blushing and fuming to yourself

Having a handsome overlord on your arm wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to you

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!

[barcaatthemoon]

two become one || bruna vilamala x reader ||

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead

you have sex for the first time with bruna.

you felt like a madwoman running around like a headless chicken. seven months. you and bruna had been together for seven months already. the question of sex had come up, but neither of you had lived on your own until now. you loved your girlfriend's roommates, but they were always there in some capacity. as for you, it was not at all possible to even attempt sex while you were living at home. that was why you were so nervous to have bruna over for the first time to your new apartment.

there was no guarantee for sex. bruna knew that you had never gotten that far with anybody, not fully at least. there had been a lot of makeouts with past partners and a bit of over-the-clothes grinding. bruna had a bit of experience, but had admitted that a lot of things were very new to her. essentially, it was like the first time for the both of you.

all that had been agreed upon was that bruna was staying the night. you had a plan that didn't necessarily include sex, but you had prepared for it. bruna had dropped a couple of hints as well, but you could tell that she was too nervous to outright say that she wanted it from you.

dinner had been light. you didn't talk much, both of you absolutely entranced by the reality tv show that you'd been binging together. after dinner the two of you continued to watch your show until bruna asked to see more of your apartment. you happily gave her a tour, which ended with the two of you curling up in your new bed.

"i can't wait to hang out with you here all the time," bruna said as she rested her head against your shoulder. you casually had your arm slung around her waist, tracing little patterns on her hip. it was nice, and either one of you could have fallen asleep in that moment. however, both of your minds were racing at the thought of going further. it would be so easy, just a slip of your hand beneath her waistband to get things started.

"i can't wait to have you here. you can stay over more without the fear of us getting interrupted." bruna blushed at your words. you hadn't meant staying over after sex, but it seemed that the shoe fit. your brain caught up a bit slower than bruna's did, and she laughed at your late reaction. "i didn't mean it like that…"

"it would have been okay if you did. most relationships get there eventually. jana and esme have been asking about that. even vicky is getting curious, but alexia usually shuts her questions down early. i think she's kind of afraid that i'll corrupt you or something," bruna laughed nervously. she had thought about that a lot. alexia was nice to her, but it was obvious that there was a bit of strain whenever your relationship was brought up. the captain was protective of you, she always had been. your family had moved from her hometown so that you could play for barcelona.

"what do you tell them?" it wasn't a question that you wanted to ask, but you were curious. there was nothing to tell really, but you wondered sometimes. some of the girls made jokes whenever they saw the two of you together. you'd always run away blushing, often leaving bruna to stand up for the both of you. you didn't mean to, but a part of you felt embarrassed for not having had sex with bruna yet.

"i don't tell them anything, it's none of their business. we will take the steps whenever we're ready," bruna answered. you cracked a small smile as you pressed a kiss to bruna's forehead. bruna glanced up at you for a moment, and you swore that you could see how much she loved you. it was scary sometimes, to love and open yourself up to being loved. there was always the nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you that you hadn't completely opened yourself up to bruna yet.

there had been times when the two of you had gotten close to sex. usually, they were interrupted by either one of her roommates or a member of your family. one time, whenever the two of you had gone out with the rest of the team, alexia had walked into the bathroom to find you with bruna pinned against the wall by the door. that one had been so mortifying that you hadn't accepted another offer to go clubbing with the rest of the team.

"is this okay?" bruna asked as her hands hovered over your waist. it was a bit higher than where she normally placed them, but that wasn't why she was asking. your shirt had ridden up a bit, and her hands would burrow beneath it to rest against your bare skin.

"yeah, of course," you told her. bruna smiled up at you as she placed her hand down. her fingertips brushed against the elastic band of your sports bra, but neither of you mentioned it. you reached down to cradle her jaw as you pulled her up for a kiss.

kissing bruna was your absolute favorite thing to do. you loved everything from the little taste of her chapstick that was always left on the tip of your tongue to the little whine she'd give you when you pulled away. this kiss was no different than the other ones that you had shared, aside from the extra vigor from bruna. she moved to straddle you, her hands fully pushing up your torso until she held your breasts in them.

"it's not too much, is it?" bruna asked you. you were too caught up in the feeling of her hands on your body and the way that her breath felt against your cheek to care about anything else. this wasn't the closest that the two of you had gotten to sex before, but it had never felt so possible before. you hadn't wanted her like you did in this moment.

"i don't think that it's enough. bruna, i want you to take me," you told her. bruna's eyes widened like saucers with excitement. she wanted to ask if you were sure, but bruna knew better. there had been no hesitation with you, just full confidence. "please. it feels right."

"i love you, and i promise that i'm not just saying that because of you know…" bruna trailed off as she motioned between the two of you.

"i know, and i love you too," you told her. bruna pushed you back down against the mattress fully once again with a kiss. she briefly broke it to pull her shirt off. bruna knew that she didn't have to, but she wanted to lead the way for you. she was the one with more experience, she was the one who had been naked in front of another person like this. you had always been a bit nervous changing in the locker room, and while this was different, it was also scarier.

"here," bruna said as she took your hand and placed it on her stomach. your fingers spread out wide before you inched your hand up to touch her like she had touched you before. bruna noticed the way that your hand stalled, almost like you were waiting for her to tell you what to do next. "have you ever touched yourself?"

"once or twice," you admitted. bruna tilted your chin up and pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw.

"touch me like that," she told you. your brain blanked for a moment before you finally made another move. you brought your other hand up to push her bra up and off of her body. bruna let out a little shiver as the cool air of your bedroom hit her bare skin. "can i take your shirt off?"

"you can take everything off if you'd like," you told her. it felt a little eager, but you really wanted bruna to touch you. you wanted to feel her in every way possible, every way she'd let you.

bruna moved off of you and the two of you both stripped yourselves. bruna had seen you naked before in the showers, but it was different in your bedroom. she felt her throat go dry as you turned to her with your body on full display. you weren't the least bit shy, which absolutely amazed bruna. even she had felt a little awkward showing herself to you like this.

"should we go back to the bed?" you asked. bruna nodded, letting you lay down first. bruna laid next to you, unsure of where to put her hands. like she had done for you, you placed hers on your body. that seemed to be all that bruna needed to take charge again.

her hands were gentle as they explored your body. most of the touches weren't too different from things that you had felt before. bruna liked to hold onto you whenever the two of you did little things together. however, it was the feeling of her fingers brushing over your nipples that really seemed to shock your system.

you let out a soft that very obviously surprised you. bruna seemed to get a little giddy at the sound you let out and slotted her knee in between your legs. this new contact caused you to moan again, but this time, bruna's mouth was waiting to cover yours and seemingly swallow it up.

"bruna, please." you didn't know what you were begging for yet, just that you wanted more. bruna smiled into the next kiss as she settled more of her weight down. this time, she rolled her hips as she let you grind against her. you were so lost in your own pleasure that you failed to notice the growing wetness of bruna's cunt as she ground against your thigh at first.

"kiss me." bruna didn't give you a chance to answer as she cupped your cheeks. you let yourself be pulled into the kiss, a messy and desperate attempt to cover up the sounds of her moans. you moved your legs just a bit, spreading yourself wider for her.

"i want you to touch me," you mumbled against her lips. bruna nodded as she let one of her hands fall in between your legs. bruna kept herself grinding down against your thigh as her fingers teasingly ran through your folds. bruna collected a bit of wetness on her fingers and brought it up to her own lips to taste. she let out a moan at the taste of you as she ground herself down particularly hard against your thigh.

the strokes of bruna's fingers between your folds synced up perfectly with the rutting of her hips against your thigh. she was working quickly to try and get both of you to cum at the same time. the wetness you felt against your skin from her arousal had you practically dripping onto your new sheets. you didn't know that it was possible for you to even get so wet.

"bruna, i'm close," you whined. you clawed at her arm, but didn't make any moves to stop her or slow her down. if anything, you started to get antsy, shifting your hips to meet her a little more than you had been doing before. bruna's eyes stayed on your face, holding eye contact with an intense stare as she watched you cum.

you looked away first as your orgasm tore through you. your body shook beneath bruna's, muscles flexing to allow her to hit the perfect spot. her peak quickly followed yours, both of you coming down around the same time. bruna dropped her weight partially onto you as she laid flat against the mattress. she kept an arm around your waist and her legs entangled in yours.

"can i tell you something?" you asked her.

"please don't tell me that you expected more," bruna pleaded with you.

"i love you, and i'm not just saying it because of the sex. i really do love you so much. sometimes, i want to cry when i think about it," you admitted. the sex was clearing your head out in a way that only left the mushiest, sappiest of thoughts. you felt like you had to get it off your chest.

"i love you too. i don't know if i've ever wanted to cry because of it, but i know that i couldn't bare to think about losing you," bruna said. she pulled you in for a kiss, one that had you melting against the mattress once again. "now, i know that you want to lay here forever, but there are some things we have to do first. if you go start the shower, i'll put the sheets in the washer."

"i should have bought an extra set," you muttered to yourself. bruna chuckled as she watched you groan and grumble all the way to your bathroom. she was quick to put the sheets in the wash, eager to join you in the shower. it wasn't as nice as laying around with bruna for the rest of the night, but you were glad that bruna had the sense to do the little things when you didn't.

[pettyprocrastination]

I turn 23 in 30 minutes

(discussion of mental health, depression, and body image/body weight).

I'm queuing this post ahead of time in hopes that by midnight I will be asleep like a responsible adult because I do in fact have work in the morning (fixing my sleep schedule is a slow and steady race I promise you all) but this is just a sort of. reflection? on my year and my thoughts on reaching another big age.

nobody needs to look at this- I'm just using this as a journal because I'm pretty sure mine is still in the trunk of my car from when I went on vacation.

anywhoo. I turn 23 in 30 minutes. And its. weird?

But still nice.

I started this year off in a horrendous spot.

I was 112 lbs, still working my shit retail job where i'd go and cry in the bathroom just about every single shift for the next two months. I didn't want to eat, sleep, shower, or interact with anybody. I hadn't felt like this since my stepfather died and even then it wasn't as severe. I hated myself and blamed myself for everything wrong in my life, I felt like a ghost in my own body.

But slowly, things began to improve.

I have a new job now, a 9 to 5 that I enjoy yet I'm unfortunately going to have to return to the job hunt soon so I can find one that gives me benefits as I can't stay on my family's health insurance forever (the joys of adulthood) but It still feels good to have that dedicate schedule where I get to work with my hands and get paid for it every Monday through Friday.

I'm spending more time with my friends. Last week I spent a week at the beach with a dear friend of mine and a collection of her own friends, none of which I had met before. I was absolutely petrified initially but had the time of my life with them all, ending the wonderful experience with going to my first ever concert and crying from the joy of it all. (it was hozier.)

I'm pushing myself to do more and go out- I'm in a coaching position for my roller derby league, I recently attended a practice scrimmage with players who have been in this sport for 8+ years and while I fully believed I didn't belong in this space, I was able to hold my own and had so much fun getting to play with all of them. I don't know if i'll be able to try out for the state league because of scheduling- but maybe some day further down the line.

I took a day trip out of state to go to an all women's gym with friends at my university before I graduated. One thing to know about me is that I go to the gym alone about 99.9% of the time. I'm not good at social situations, especially ones in new areas so the notion initially was one I was ready to dismiss- but how often do you get chances like that?

I've signed up for my first ever powerlifting meet. I'm still very new to the gym with less than a year of weight lifting under my belt, but i've told myself this is the year to push myself and become somebody I'm proud of nobody how hard it is going to be. I've always loved powerlifting and want to get into the sport so bad but I can't afford a coach nor do I want to sign up for a full competition without knowing the ins and outs of the first event. I found a local deadlifting competition for a pride foundation next month and signed up for it with the goal of increasing my deadlift by at least 10 lbs by then. I'm simply competition against myself and trying to see how much I can progress during that time, which is something I really love about the sport. I'm still a fucking lightweight loser when it comes to heavy lifting- but at least this way I'll be able to see what a meet is like and learn what to expect.

I started going to therapy beginning of February/late January. It's been a saving grace honestly. Having an unbiased professional I can sit and talk and cry to has been quite the saving outlet. I rent a private study room at the library once every week for our meetings and it's become a little ritual of my own that i'm quite fond of now. (take this as your reminder that your local public library has so many amazing resources that even if you don't read often you can still use!!) though I've only been going for a few months, it's helped me drastically in how I view myself and letting others in during moments of weakness.

I'm allowing myself to rely on my friends. It isn't easy. And honestly sometimes I fucking hate it and feel pathetic for it- but my friends have been there for me so goddamn much within the past few months I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. There are days where I'd rather curl up In my bed and not speak to a single soul about how I feel because there's nothing I fear more than being a burden to those I love- but I have to remind myself that they want to be there for me the same way I want to be there for them. If they need me to pull back they'll simply communicate that desire and I will do so, but I can't keep assuming the worst when I need to rely on somebody for love and support. It's hard to not feel like a burden in those moments, that I'm exhausting those I love- but I also know I would do the same for them any day of the week. "Shared joy is double the joy, shared sorrow is half the sorrow".

I'm back at 124 lbs. I know it may not seem like much to others but gaining back that 12 lbs over four months has been such an uphill battle not only due to my own genetics+metabolism that makes gaining weight a fucking pain in the ass, but also keeping myself accountable when my mental health is at an all time low to still eat full meals and take care of my body. The moment I stepped on the scale and saw those numbers I cried real tears. I still want to gain more weight, but seeing that improvement helped me realize I am in fact improving and not just staying in this permanent transition period of stagnation for the rest of my life as I've feared.

I'm kinder to myself. At least, I'm trying to do so. I've found that the reality of life is that it's infinitely easier to blame yourself for everything and rot in self loathing rather than take a step back to go "actually- that's not true" and find the strength to go forward while also being aware of what you can do to better yourself as a person, not just for others, but for your own sake at well.

That being said- not every day is meant for self-analysis and introspection. Some days it's okay to just cry and eat some fucking candy bars on the couch my friends.

I'm slowly finding the joy and energy to write again. It's been a hassle to do so- working a 9 to 5 while also going to the gym and then doing chores leaves very little time and energy for other passions- but I've found it's annoying but meaningful work to dedicate time for the little things that make you happy. I've started by promising myself to limit my screentime by not using my phone as much during the day- my lunch breaks at work are spent typing away on a little e-ink word processor I treated myself to instead of doom scrolling on my phone. I've written three short little stories on it, some of them fanfiction others are not- while also beginning a horror project that i've thought about for a year now and want to see where it will go in the end. It's nothing as grand at the 10k beautifully written fics you all create- but I'm finding my passion again and it feels quite nice. I'd like to create something submission worthy this summer, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I'd like to set myself the goal of being able to afford an apartment next year. My family plans on moving cities within a year so it will give me time to save up more money and maybe even get back to making little things on the side to help earn some extra pocket cash for that dream while also paying off my student loans.

I'm not anywhere near the woman I thought i'd at 23 when I was 18 years old. I still live at home, I'm not using my major for my career, nor am I doing anything particularly astounding in my life. But I think that it's okay- and I'm proud of the progress I have made to get myself to this position.

Tomorrow I will spend my birthday at work. Then I will go for a walk (or perhaps a skate?) listen to some music, treat myself to a little sweet drink in my budget and then go see the challengers movies. Maybe with my friends, maybe by myself. I'm not sure yet. I will likely cry at some point during the day, I always do on my birthday.

But I know that I am growing. Even if Its hard to see.

[jjenjoyer]

hope is a dangerous thing - jj maybank

summary: jj maybank hates the new girl in town.

playlist:

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it - lana del rey

fuck it i love you - lana del rey

warnings: mentions of violence, language

[jj's pov]

[896 words]

i first saw her out on the waves during hurricane Agatha. stupid mystery girl, surfing the surge like its nothing, as if she couldn't get wiped out with one wrong move. what a poser.

i hate her.

great, she's in my class too. pink really isn't her colour, and that cardigan seems way too hot for the outer banks, what on earth is she thinking? really dumb outfit choice. i'm glad that she didn't sit next to me, thanks a ton mr. sunn.

i hate her, and her ugly pink cardigan.

oh, just excellent! thank you so much kiara, how lovely of you to invite my mortal enemy to party with the pogues at the boneyard tonight. i bet she can't even hold her liquor.

i really hate her. she seems fake, nobody is that nice.

speak of the devil. at least this time she's wearing something decent, but it looks shit on her. i can't believe she's had 4 beers already and still doesn't look tipsy.

i cannot stand her.

oh great, she's walking up to me. whatever god is out there, what did i do to deserve this? fuck you, honestly. her voice is sickeningly sweet, but kinda raspy, like textured honey. ew. at least she brought me a beer. i don't like her freckles.

i don't want to be around her.

she's getting on with the pogues alarmingly well. this is not looking good... ohhhh no, john b, why would you invite her to hang with us at the chateau tomorrow?! i bet she's a slob.

she better not try to talk to me. i don't think i can handle that.

...why is that kook staring at her like that. he looks like a starving wolf, practically violating her with his eyes. she's not even all that great to look at, but still, that's not gonna happen on my watch.

i hate that i'm starting a fight for no reason, its none of my business but oh well, too late to back out now.

why is she drawing stars around my bruised knuckles. and why is she concentrating so hard, holding my hand with an unbearable softness, her tongue sticking out comically, like some cartoon character. how did i even get here. fuck.

i don't like her...

her bubbly laugh when i crack a joke is so annoying, making me feel all gross inside. i wish she would shut up so i can get it out of my head, although i doubt i could if i tried.

fuck.

i can barely hold the soft, yet intense gaze of her massive e/c eyes. she looks like a bug, i really want to squish her. maybe then i would stop feeling like this. i don't know why she's so persistent even though i'm clearly showing no interest.

i really hope she doesn't see through me.

ah great, i'm sick. thankfully the pogues are going fishing today, and taking whats-her-name with them. i need some time alone with my thoughts, although i'm not sure if i can handle them. someone's knocking on the door, maybe john b forgot something.

"its open!" i manage to croak out.

oh no. no no no no no please not her. anybody but her. goddamn it.

"hey, jj, um- if you tell me to i'll leave, but i heard you were sick, and thought i could help-- my mom's a nurse, so i know a thing or two-"

"i don't want your help. go have fun. i know you don't want to be here, plus you'll get sick too." why the fuck does she care about me. she shouldn't.

"i do, and i'll take that risk. plus i don't really wanna get sunburnt, my outfit isn't really suitable for the situation."

she's right, it definitely isn't. that flowy off-shoulder crop-top and embroidered jean shorts are way too flattering, and its not looking good for me.

i hate that she cares, its not helping my situation.

the way she looks after me makes me want to scream at her. why the fuck is she so gentle with me when i don't deserve even a sliver of it?

i hate to admit it, but she's been pretty decent company today. we got to know each other, and the fact that she fits all my criteria for 'ideal type' makes me want to die, because there's no way it'll actually happen, right? she's way too good for someone like me.

who am i kidding, i don't hate her. in fact-

"hey jj? you with me, man?"

"uh yeah- sorry, what were you saying?"

"why do you hate me so much?"

oh, dear...

"you're too perfect for your own good. it's killing me, knowing that acknowledging my feelings will only end in disaster, because i am the last person to deserve you. so no, y/n i don't hate you. although i really, really fucking wish i did."

her shocked expression confirms my opinion, i bet she's gonna sprint out of here in-

lips. my lips are touching something. what the fuck is going on. fuck, she tastes like lemon ice cream, do you even get that in obx? fuck if i know. goddamn.

so, as i was saying, i do not, in fact, hate y/n l/n. as a matter of fact, it is the exact opposite.

i am an absolute goner.

a/n: this is so trash lol yall should see my old stuff, idk what happened to my quality of writing, academic burnout is my biggest suspect tho >:/

[drtanner]

IT'S TIME FOR STELAK PROPAGANDA.

First all, enormous thanks and a great big hug to @woltourney for organising this and giving me an excuse to show you all my lovely boy. 💜 I don't talk about Stelak nearly as much as I should!

Mr Ganzthuv will be appearing in Match 9 of Round 1, Side B! It'd just about make his day if you'd show him a little love when his turn comes around, and I'm here to tell you why you should. ( b ._.)b

(Obligatory thirst trap to open. We know what's important here.)

Stelak's a cheeky guy who doesn't embarrass easily and likes having fun where he's able, and as you'll learn when his matchup comes around, not only is he an accomplished bard and a WoL, he's also a whore! And yes, he's still taking on jobs while he's saving the world. 👌

Whoring is Stelak's main line of work and he enjoys it a lot; he takes a great deal of pleasure from making people happy and his clients, for the most part, are all lovely to work with. And he's good at it! Why would he ever think to do anything else?

(It should be mentioned, if you were thinking of hiring him yourself someday, that Stelak only services men. And yes, trans men are men, trans women are not, etc., etc., of course, obviously.)

That said, as exhausting and stressful as the work of being the WoL is, Stelak can't complain about the travelling it's seen him doing. He's met all kinds of people and made all kinds of friends, and for that he's enormously grateful. Given that he doesn't remember anything about who he might have been before he woke up in the back of that cart on the way to Gridania with nothing but a name, the clothes on his back and a robust set of instincts and principles, Stelak is sincerely delighted to have so many people around him whom he can rely on.

It is, after all, very difficult to keep going sometimes when the whole world is relying on you all the time.

Stelak has grown a little more attached to some of these friends than others to say the least, but you'll have to find my AO3 if you want to learn more about that. 👀 Ahem. Anyway.

Anyway.

Unlike whoring, being the WoL is difficult, taxing and often deeply miserable; preventing one catastrophe seems to achieve little but to make room for the next one, and being recognised by anybody only serves to make them all the more comfortable in making yet more demands of Stelak's time and energy. As such, he's often very tired and sometimes very sad, but at the end of the day, no matter how worn out and fed up he might be, Stelak will always dutifully pick himself up and go where he's needed without complaint (or at least, without complaint while he's still within earshot of the people telling him where to go.)

The work needs doing, and if not him, then who? What would happen if he didn't show up? He doesn't like to imagine.

Thank goodness he doesn't have to do it alone.

It would be easy to say that Stelak does all of this for the love of his friends, and he does, but he also does it because it's the right thing to do, and doing the right thing regardless of whether one will be rewarded for it is what makes the world turn, isn't it? That one might get to meet all kinds of fascinating people and see all kinds of wonderful places is just a happy accident, and one that Stelak is all too eager to embrace. The world's an incredible place, it turns out, and now he gets to see it all!

This, too, Stelak is grateful not to be doing alone. 💜

(That's Teddy, by the way. He's Stelak's other best friend.)

One might be tempted to assume that Stelak would be keen to find out who he used to be before he arrived in Gridania, or at the very least that he'd be interested, but truthfully, he couldn't care less. For all he knows, he might not have existed at all before that moment; for all he knows, Hydaelyn might have simply plucked him from the aether for convenience's sake, or out of his bed or his bathtub or from some other place, but none of it matters so much as who he is now, who he's going to be in the future. Stelak's experiences have changed him even in this relatively brief span of time; who knows who he'll be next week?

So yeah, vote Stelak. ( b ._.)b

[cerastes]

Man that autism post resonates so hard for me rn. Had a 'friend' of mine start randomly calling me an "egg" and "in denial" of being autistic because I... enjoy asmr and rock in my seat sometimes. Like straight up arguing with me over it in front of other people. It was so uncomfortable and really upset a few of our mutual autistic friends. Idk what this trend is but I hate it so much

No yeah that's outright disgusting, like it's one thing if someone autistic makes a gallow's humor post about it or not even necessarily something gallow's-ish, just, you know, talking about it, making a humorous spin on it, the works, that's totally fine, we all do it about our own life experiences. It's another thing entirely to make it into a trend or "fashion-nize" it as some sort of quirky personality trait that makes you a 'freaking awesome bean' or whatever and then do what this acquaintance of yours did, like, without even getting started with the use of 'egg' here and calling someone else an 'egg in denial', that's a whole other can of worms by itself, just going at someone with the whole "you're actually X you just don't know it yet" is incredibly irresponsible. One of my sincerely least favorite arcs of Tumblr is when this was happening to ADHD, and having to see a lot of friends reblog those posts like "oh no I identify to so many of these posts... Perhaps I Am One Of The Abnormals" like man, read the room, I'm The Abnormals, and I don't hold it against anybody, because I know for a fact that none of them meant anything negative by it nor did they mean to insult, and I know this because I know my friends, but it was a tough period of time to have a dashboard, and I can imagine anyone less secure about themselves, of their conditions, or of their online social group feeling upset or offended by it.

It's like (the most mainstream) mental health things all go through their own turn in the Trend Spotlight, and right now, it's autism, before that, it was ADHD, and many years ago, in a real Tumblr Classic, it was the whole anti-recovery stance ("um, drinking water isn't gonna help my depression, KAREN") that even some supposedly educated-ass people I personally know backed up for some reason that transmogrifies me into The Jonker for half a second before I calm down ("uhhh maybe some people had a bad time with their own therapy :(" shut the hell up and leave people making helpful little posts about stuff that's helped them alone). And even before that, it was the Wild West of people going ham self-diagnosis with absolutely everything they could, objectively the worst period, and it wasn't just self-diagnosis, it was sometimes diagnosis others, for instance, one person that shall remain politely unnamed one time responded to a vent post I made many years ago "hey those are signs of depression, you should get that checked out".

To me.

Not just an actual professional psychologist that literally does this shit for a living, but most importantly, someone they don't really know on the internet. That was one of the few times I've actually gotten so pissed I went off, because holy shit my man you can't just diagnose people like that, you may be unknowingly predisposing someone who otherwise was just having a bad day into actually developing depression, which is a thing that happens.

I'm not going to say "stop talking about my field reeee" on the contrary, mental health needs more discussion about it, but it needs to be given the proper respect a topic as weighty and sensitive as mental health deserves. Properly inform yourself and, to help with this, ask. Ask mental health professionals, ask autistic people, ask ADHD people, ask people with OCD, ask people with Schizophrenia, ask them what's up, and always keep in mind there's no universal experience. I wish these things were universal, it'd make my job much easier and life much easier for me and many more people, but it isn't the case, so tighten your pants and do your due diligence.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ok ok ok I NEED to wrote that drabble... But after your ask of what the weasels would do if Poppy tried to leave them, I HAD to write a 'after the fact' scenario for all of them. Basically, now that Toontown is gone, and they're the only toons left... Now what? Does she come back to them? Does she stay away? Is she still trapped?These are definitely gonna be long, so all the ships are going to get their individual asks.

I've been catapulted into a Peezy mood, so Wheezy gets to go first XD... Also this one's got two endings, since I can see this going in two different routes, and I don't know which I like more. So YOU get to be the judge!

~

Since Wheezy told her when they were going to strike, or at least gave her a vague time of when, Poppy chooses to leave town entirely. Pack what she can, and find somewhere to stay- hopefully temporarily- in the human side of LA. She hates it; she worked her tail off to find a stable place to live after Henry took everything from her, and now she's about to lose her home again. Unless she can stop this plot from happening. So, unfortunately, that's just another thing that these weasels took from her when they decided to do this.

Poppy would be so, so miserable out there. It's been years since she's had to be around humans, so she had forgotten how they looked down on her own kind. It's a miracle that she manages to find a motel that would even allow her to stay, as long as she "keeps that crazy toony shit to herself". So now, she's managed to buy herself some time in the motel... It's time for her to step up and find the hero Toontown needs right now.

But she doesn't. None of the humans she tells will listen to her. Why would they believe that somebody would want to destroy Toontown? And she already tried to talk to Eddie despite knowing he doesn't help toons anymore, but he drove her away before she could tell him everything... And now, the week is up.

It's the talk of the town rather next day. All the humans shocked as if they hadn't been warned of this. Poppy's heart is torn into pieces as she watches Cloverleaf start to build over her former home... And there's no sign of the only other toons that could possibly be left.

Poppy has no choice but to find a way to make ends meet. But finding a stable job among the humans is quite difficult. She's managed to pick up some odd jobs here and there, but she's barely scraping by with that. And it's while she's out trying once again to find a more permanent job, that's when she runs into him. Wheezy.

The former lovers' eyes meet, and share the same look; surprised to find the other here of all places, yet relief. Wheezy feeling relieved that the one he still loves Poppy made it out ok, and Poppy feeling a slight comfort at finally seeing another toon after so long. A familiar toon at that... A toon she misses so much.

"... Heya, 'Pops..." He decides to say first, taking a drag from his cigarettes- human cigarettes now... She would have thought they'd stock up on toon cigarettes before. The not-so-familiar smoke billowing out of the corners of his mouth as he takes the chance to see all of Poppy again, before she leaves again, "You doin' alright?"

Her eyes are wide in shock, still processing that he was actually here... But there's also a tiny bit of warmth in those brown orbs, too. She still remembers how sweet he was to her, and how accepting he had been when she gave him the ultimatum... It still hurt deeply that he still chose to do what he did, but she can't bring herself to forget his kindness...

~

Outcome 1

...

No. No, she had to be strong. Wheezy may have treated her right before, but he wasn't good. He still willingly destroyed everything she loved... She had to be strong now.

Poppy didn't even have to say a word for him to know what she was thinking. All he had to see was that little warmth being forcefully shoved back, and she looked at him like anybody else now. Aside from the sudden sharp drag he took, Wheezy doesn't seem to notice the shift in her eyes. But he does nod solemnly, accepting her decision despite how much he yearned for her now, "I see... You better get back to whatever you were doin'. Seems important."

The rabbit just nodded as well, and went to turn on her heel... Before she stops and turns back to the old weasel. The love she had tried to hide was shining through her glossy eyes again, and Wheezy wonders what she's about to do. Now it was his turn to show his shock when she spoke, "I'll never forget you. No matter what happens..."

It was her final goodbye... He knew that. And it only made his heart feel heavier. His usually cold eyes were soft- they always were, for her- and he actually took the cigarettes out of his mouth as he looked back to her, the smoke cloud around his face able to dissipate now, allowing her to see him clearly now, "I won't forget you either... Take care of yourself, sweetheart. Ok?"

She only responds with a silent nod, and then quickly walks away. Too scared of what she'd do if she stayed longer. And Wheezy is left there, watching her retreating back, knowing that she wouldn't be coming back.

~

Outcome 2

...

Her eyes fill with tears and her lips tremble as she remembers everything she's been through out here, all alone in this strange world, without Wheezy. And now he was here, and he still loved her. She could see it in his eyes.

Before she can even consider the consequences, Poppy ran to him. Crashing into his safe ashy arms- even after everything, he always would welcome her with open arms no matter what- and clings onto him like a lifeline. Passing humans look at them oddly, but she doesn't care. If anything, it just spurs her to breakdown in her smokers arms.

She hated herself so much right now. Why couldn't she be strong enough to stay away? Wheezy had done something she could never forgive... But now, with the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her, the toxic smell of his addiction surrounding her, and the dirty dress shirt clenched in her paws, it was only cemented in her mind that she couldn't stay away, "I l-love you... I-I'll always love you..."

It's said with heartbreak and not love. Wheezy knew that she didn't want to be here with him because of what he did. She didn't want to love him, and it did hurt... But right now, with his girl in his arms after being separated from her for so long, all he wanted to do was hold her snug against him, lose his nicotine stained fingers in those curls of hers he missed, and whisper soothingly in her ear, "Shh, shh, it's ok baby girl. I got you."

They could go pick up her things later- he wasn't going to let her go back to wherever she was staying, he knew it couldn't have been anywhere good. Right now, the two united, unfortunate, lovers let themselves sink in each other's embrace. Even if they both knew that these circumstances were terrible, they couldn't let each other go again.

OOOOOOH OKAY I'M GONNA ADMIT IT-

Peezy is my favourite Poppy ship XD I LOVE THEM ALL, but Peezy??? <3<3<3<3 Poppy with this scary looking old man who's actually got the most integrity in the group but still does what he 'gotta do'???? Holy crap, holy moly, holy crap.

OKAY SO THE ACTUAL FIC-

First of all- I love that Wheezy warns her ^^ Of course he does. I mean, he's still doing the terrible thing-- but he's warning his girl even though he knows she wont want him anymore?? (or *cough* wont want to want him anymore, at least) Completely on brand.

OOH BOY the shivers I get reading that 'and now, the week is up' bit.

and AGHHHHH Poppy feeling comfort at seeing him cuz she hasn't seen someone of her kind in a long time even though he is the reason for that??!! and also because its him, its wheezy, and she loved (loves) him- holy moly guacamole- I've been h i t-

Oh I love the detail that its a human cig he's sucking on. That's straight-up just a killer detail, that's all.

'The not-so-familiar smoke billowing out of the corners of his mouth as he takes the chance to see all of Poppy again, before she leaves again' <- <- this is my favourite line right here. I dunno, it feels like it could be predatory (especially considering this is an older man who destroyed her home and everyone she knew) but its not? Its just a man trying to hold onto something he loves for the few moments he's got it. And and and- 'take care of yourself sweetheart, ok?' <- THAT ONE IS MY FAVOURITE TOO! Oh wait wait no- 'knowing that she wouldn't be coming back' is painful too, oh my god--

AND OUTCOME 2 IN GENERAL- I-

That outcome is my cruel-heart's favourite, definitely. Ughhhh they're gonna be so unhappy together but so addicted to each other at the same time and I- I- wooooooooooooooooo boy I need a moment XD

[fuwaprince]

I'm really sad guys. A lot of people aren't okay, like, most people I know are breaking down in tears today and I don't know why it's happening to all of us but :( we deserve better. We deserve resources and support and it feels like we're all passing around the same $20 and splitting the individual-sized meals we can afford. I'm sad... it's brutal to ask my friends to keep going knowing how hard it is to actually do that and how much it takes... but what can we do in the face of it all? Just play dead? I wouldn't want anybody to keep going through what they are knowing how horribly unjust and fucking wrong it is. I'm so sorry. I'm sad when my friends refer to themselves as sacrificed human beings. What cruel society tricked us into identifying as a sacrificial lamb? What cruel society says no you don't get to eat for the next two weeks but go to school anyway? This lady at school talked about starving because her financial aid hasn't come in yet and she isn't able to go to the store or even afford a ride. There are resources but then these resources don't pay out on the days we're told they will and we aren't given any explanation or dates unless we take the time to investigate and have the energy to demand what we're fucking owed. I can't believe this shit is the life we're living. Maybe it isn't everybody but damn why does it feel so fucking common. Why is it typical for me to see my friends in tears because they lack support and resources and they're isolated from anybody who cares? I don't mean to sound hopeless because I'm really not. I'm so hopeful that things aren't going to be like this forever and that things will be okay but I don't like knowing people are being wiped out of existence in the meantime or attempting to be. Somebody designed my corner of the world to be like this and somebody doesn't care about how horribly violent they're being. Somebody doesn't care about how not okay everyone is. And to slap us all in the face, tomorrow is "it's okay to not be okay day" at school. It's not okay. It's not okay. None of this is fine or tolerable. None of this is acceptable. We aren't content with not being okay. It isn't okay that we're all not okay. It's so fucking horribly WRONG. It's WRONG to not be okay when the source of why is so fucking... just... within somebody's fucking control!!!! When things can't be helped, it IS okay to not be okay. You can't help it!!! But THIS???? THE REASONS PEOPLE AREN'T OKAY TODAY CAN BE HELPED AND WE'RE TELLING THEM "IT'S OKAY"?!?!?! No it's not. It never will be. It never could be in a world that gives a shit about each other. In a caring world this shit wouldn't fucking happen. Somebody has to care enough to take care of this instead of looking in the other direction and lying that it's fine. I'm so sad. I'm angry. I'm really seriously ready to bitch into a megaphone in protest and not just that but sharpen my pitchfork and light my torch. No one will stand with me on that and I can't blame them for being too tired or too sick or too starved or just held hostage by the current conditions. It's easier to just pigeonhole and say things will be okay but how do you think things will end up okay??? How do you think change happens? It's never pretty or easy. If it was easy, somebody would've done it by now!!!!!!! That's what they say at least, that's what I've heard. It's disgusting. It's inhumane. I'm crying angry tears knowing how fucked up this is and tomorrow I'm supposed to go to school saying "it's okay!" to everybody who clearly isn't. I hate it

[gunsli-01]

just wanna say since I've been away from fixating on milgram for a month or so and came back for a skim (I got my therapist hooked, so its on the mind).. I wanna say how the fuck did this happen but I've similar enough that like, I hope you're taking care of yourself, congrats on the marriage (thats recent right?), your posts are always nice to see, I hope Organ Thief's Dance Party is entertaining for you too

I got so carried away beneath this cut that it's just a new Mu post I'm sorry in advance! Before any of that though I'll try to answer your points to the best of my abilities!

I'm so happy to hear about the therapist thing! I hope more people can enjoy Milgram so many that getting to a million views is pretty much immediate during trial three!

I think conflicts appearing in the fandom in and of itself isn't a bad thing it just means people care about the material, but I hope people can do that in a fun and respectful way. Not only to make the environment comfortable for old fans but newcomers as well. I don't believe it's good for fandoms to become exclusionary or too closeknit since that can lead to terrible forms of conflict down the line.

A fandom should be full of various people and opinions. So, I always wanna remind people to look at the views of others outside of mine since it helps form a more well-rounded opinion. It's even helped me better reflect on my own biases. I do like passion, but too much of anything in one direction can be bad, and I want more and more people to like and watch Milgram! So, regardless of what happens, I want people to see the fun in it not just from the content but its fans who do great things in a passionate way every day.

I'm taking care of myself and my dad to the best of my abilities he surgery went smoothly too! I'm still very much enjoying Milgram all the way! I hope none of what I said about the fandom comes off as pretentious or too serious because I know it'd be easy to read it that way. When it comes to the marriage, I assume you're referring to my blog description.

Ah, Star and I have known each other since late 2013! We met through Tumblr actually. That's why I was so upset to have my blog shadow banned because it has a lot of sentimental value and I'd hate to lose it. We started dating maybe three years after and we got engaged two to three years after that. Though, since we live in different countries, we haven't officially tied the knot yet. She's my best friend, confidant, and we hang out often. Even meeting up in person whenever we can manage/afford to.

Actually, she's the reason anybody even gets to see me talk about Milgram at all right now. She introduced it to me! She wanted me to look over the entire series. Because she was very well acquainted with my penchant for deductive reasoning and love of solving mysteries. Because of thar she wanted to know what I would think was going on based off the trial one music videos alone. I was a bit miffed at her at the time, so I was like, no, I don't wanna.

Though she went if I didn't want to watch all of it then she'd at least like it if I looked at Mahiru's song. Causing my response to Mahiru's first trial song to pretty much be you trying to say something about me, huh?! However, I really loved it and pretty immediately went okay I'll watch the rest. However, that was only after she asked what I thought happened and the only thing I could think was with the focus on food, probably poisoning, but other than that I'm unsure.

So, I'm very nostalgic when it comes to Mahiru's song since it's related to a person I love.

If you don't want all the personal stuff here's the Milgram stuff!

I think the thing I'm looking most forward too is hearing Shidou's cover of Delusion Tax given how the VA handled Liar Dance! Shidou's voice tends to be more reserved when it comes to singing his original songs but go hard in his covers. Mu is the exact opposite, her voice being stronger in her original songs but going to a gentle whisper in her covers.

Showing the dichotomy between how she presents herself and how she may be inwardly. That outward appearance of dominance breaking into a soft-spoken stint. While Shidou's soft demeanor breaks way into a more domineering tone with hard enunciation that's so good to hear. So, I'm really curious if that will stay in Delusion Tax just like it stayed for Mu with MKDR.

I like Mu's covers far more than her original songs because of that vocal change and the subtle gentleness like holding porcelain. Especially the scream here and how it directly contrasts with the one here. Her covers really highlight that similarity between her and Futa of putting on a tough front but having an incredibly soft interior that needs a lot of nurturing from their environments.

Something also highlighted by her being represented as Parasitic Wasp in It's Not My Fault.

One of the insects that build cocoons on a host and use the nutrients off them to feed their young. Meaning It's Not My Fault we are literally seeing an artistic rendition of a Parasitic Wasp nest being built on a beehive.

Explaining why Mu is so large in comparison to the others. It's a literal hostile takeover until she gets enough of what she needs and leaves.

This also explains why she's so quick to leave and nothing remains when she does in the end. Since they eat everything and go. Yet, it has another meaning too! Mu being a parasitic wasp can be read as her leeching off of a society of course but it can also be read as her needing external validation to support her own beliefs. Showcasing that she lacks the mental fortitude necessary to defend or rationalize her own behavior or past actions.

This is highlighted in After pain when she's literally drowned in her own negative opinion of herself. Something that used to be feeding her is now eating away at her. Because it doesn't come with that sweetness of external validation. No one else is saying that she's right so she'll always wonder if she's wrong on some level. Because she's incapable of validating her own behavior this is even shown in It's Not My Fault when she basically begs the viewers not to hate her or even look for her bad side the source of her pain.

In a, "Just keep liking me, keep feeding me, I can't do it I can't take it on my own." In a way, reminiscent to the way Mikoto freaks out when everybody, but Kotoko wishes him a happy birthday. It also feeds into why her victim ignoring her bothered her so much and she couldn't let it go. The reason she's behaving this way is perfectly illustrated at the end of It's Not My Fault where she's literally reformed by the previous verdict and breaks away from her host, in this case the hourglass.

Something that very much comes through in the tone of her cover songs. While Shidou- Ah, his are so full of that usually restrained animosity of his that I just love! So, that mixed with Delusion Tax may just get me.

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

BARBIE/WANDA

when I started shipping it if I did: At least the last couple years. I've been simmering on this AWHILE on and off in the back of my mind.

my thoughts: I am so very normal about them:) no really, the image of Barbie as a princess and Wanda as the lady knight, going into danger and facing her fears to save her, trying to look out for her well-being and draw her out of herself - but she does it in a way that doesn't feel like a therapist, it feels like the gentle badgering and not-really-bullying of a friend, is everything to me. I love both of these characters so much and they just *work* as a unit.

What makes me happy about them: How much their relationship would be built on a foundation of genuine friendship and trust. Like, Wanda is snarky and teases Barbie as much as anybody but she also is so caring and gentle with her when she's crying over Martin Tenbones, she immediately drops everything to rush to help her even though she's shaken up herself. And Barbie travels to another state using what little money she has to do one last thing for Wanda even though she's legally not allowed to do anything to help her. They feel like peak friends to lovers to me.

What makes me sad about them: the entire original ending to Game of You. And also that there's again, SO LITTLE CONTENT OF THEM ALMOST NONE. What is it with me and the rarepairs...

things done in fanfic that annoys me: People, give me the fanfic first and then, MAYBE, we can talk. I am starving, do you hear me? There is NOTHING on AO3 and they barely even have their own tag here. I've only ever seen one other person yet besides us even talk about this as a pairing on this hellsite. Period.

things I look for in fanfic: ANYTHING. GOD ANYTHING okay. I would love to see some au fluff but also I want some exploration of the aftermath of their canon adventures and the scars it left them with and what it taught them. But honestly most of all? I want to see Barbie and Wanda still recovering and Wanda's aunt shows up because she saw the building collapse on the news, and she's all concern - but she also calls Wanda her nephew when talking to Barbie, more than once. And Barbie for once is the one to correct her. And when it keeps happening, Barbie is the one to get defensive and protective. Because Wanda usually stands up for herself but her aunt is the last family member who hasn't disowned her, and so she'll put up with more from her, to a point in the hopes that she'll come around and the desire not to lose her. But Barbie can safely defend her without that fear.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don't have any other ships I think?

My happily ever after for them: they both live and they ride off into the sunset together, like the ending of the Telephone music video.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Wanda is the little spoon. She didn't expect this because she's the taller one, but Barbie tends to sprawl in her sleep when she's alone unlike Wanda who likes the fetal position. When she's in bed with someone however Barbie migrates to the heat source and clings. The first night Wanda ended up with Barbie wrapped around her back, warm and soft in one of Wanda's old shirts as pajamas, clutching her around the waist and snoring softly in her ear, Wanda decided this was her favorite way to go to sleep and could never go back. Also Wanda still has nightmares of being suffocated, in the dark, alone, after the building collapse, of a room with blood and a flayed corpse but they tend to come less often when someone's there. And Barbie can usually wake up and tell when Wanda starts whimpering and twitching in her sleep, so she can nudge Wanda out of the nightmare. Wanda isn't used to being the one who's held but maybe now she could be. For her part, Barbie has discovered she likes protecting people. She likes the feeling of being useful, of holding on fiercely and actually fighting for what she wants, for the people she cares for. It's something she had to get used to but a true princess must learn these things. To hold and to comfort the woman she loves, to hold fear and cold at bay...Barbie feels like a knight in shining armor and a princess at the same time. It's a feeling she likes. Also it's the least she can do after all the ways Wanda looks out for her.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Watching horror movies, Hallmark and Real Housewives together.

[trans-xianxian]

sorry but I haaaave to talk abt the new d20 ep even tho none of you here will know what I'm talking about I just have a lot of thoughts about the specific villainry of the princesses and I Have to share or I'll explode

the princesses brand of antagonism feels very opposite to the stepmothers even tho they share a very similar goal and, in some ways, the same hurt - she is very "you wanted a villian, I'll give you a villian", whereas the princesses truly believe what they are doing is right. most of the time, characters (and people) believe that the choices they are making, the fights they are fighting, are justified; if they didn't believe what they were doing is right, they probably wouldn't be doing it. but what struck me abt the princesses this ep is that they don't even view their destruction in an 'any means to the end, willing to sacrifice innocent people for The Greater Good' kind of way. they don't believe the outcome they're fighting for is harmful to anybody. it's sad, of course it's sad, but it's like putting a sick dog to sleep - you don't want to do it, and it's heartbreaking, but it's the right thing to do, to put a suffering beast to rest is a kindness free of cruelty. but, of course, that's not how it works in this situation. they, solely, are making the choice to "end the suffering" for an entire World of people. their pain, their trauma, their hurt, and the way they've decided to cope with all of it, are more important than the free will of infinite beings

it is so Deeply arrogant and self righteous and self aggrandizing, that their pain is more important than anybody else's pain, and They get to make the choice, because They are the most important players in the game. but it's so free of sadism or genuine cruelty that it's hard to even be mad at them even when you Know that the choice they're making isn't fair

there is just such a deep sadness and Anger in the way that they view their decision that, at least for me, illicits not only disgust and appallment at their audacity, but also sadness that they feel so wronged and hurt that this is the only choice they have left. snow white saying that there is no world that is good that also contains her is so outrageously self centered yet so familiar and human in its ache that I don't find myself rooting for her defeat or cheering for her downfall but rather hoping that she is given the chance to make a better, fairer, and kinder choice

there's also something here about the consequences of giving pessimism power, the fact that if the princesses win and their bleak outlook on the world and their stories prevails, it demolishes anybody else's hope. like our protagonists and presumably countless others in the neverafter still have hope and optimism and Drive to create a better future, to fight for a kinder world and stay to see it happen. but if the princesses get their way, all of that hope and fight goes out with them. I don't know how to say it rlly but just something about the inherent selfishness of deciding that there is nothing left to fight for when you are not the only one fighting

it's also very interesting to me that, in trying to defy their destiny and change their story and fight back against what's been chosen for them, they are falling back into the tropes of their characters. they are princesses, the protagonists of their stories, the most important thing that all other characters revolve around and make their choices because of, so of course they believe that their choice is the choice of everybody. it's so incredibly Main Character of them to do what they're doing, when the whole time they've been complaining about all of the ways that being a main character has harmed them. I'm interested to see in future eps how they will reconcile w the fact that their choice is Not the choice of everybody, and I wonder if one or all of them can be brought to their senses and see the unfairness of their plan, esp since we don't know exactly where rapunzel and la bete stand, if elody knows/what her thoughts are, and what mira will choose

[jobrookekarev]

The Beating of Two Hearts Chapter Ten

Chapter: Ten of Twelve

Words: 3,256

Summary: Jo talks with Carina about sneaking out and Alex talks with Cristina and Hayes about his anxiety and taking paternity leave.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Carina DeLuca, Cristina Yang, and Cormac Hayes.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Drama, Domestic, Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Light Angst, Parenthood, Menial Illness, Happy Ending.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

…………………………………………………………………

Jo was typing away on her laptop and working on the paper again. She watched her mouse, David Bowie, from a camera she had set up in the lap. At least this way she could still do what she wanted without having to sneak out. However, she was still hoping to get the results from the lab on David Bowie's latest blood test. His liver enzymes were slightly elevated. He was four years old now and she wanted to make sure he wasn't declining in health naturally or because of the mini livers. 

There was a knock at the door and Jo jumped with a start and slammed the laptop shut before she showed it under her pillow.

“Come in,” Jo yelled as she tried to act natural.

Carina walked to the room holding something behind her back. Jo sighed and held out her arm, turning away so she didn't have to see the IV being put in again. However, instead, Carina placed a cool drink in her hand. When Jo looked back Carina simply held a small container containing a few pills. Jo raised her eyebrow at her as she turned back around and took a sip from the drink. It was one of the mocktails they usually made for their patients after labor. Jo smiled as she tasted the red cherry flavoring that she liked. Carina still held out the pills and Jo took them with little reluctance. 

After she swallowed them Carina sat down and pulled the stool beside her. She didn't say anything for a half second and Jo wondered why as she studied Carina's expression. It was surprisingly natural. Yet, she would for sure Carina would give her another scolding and she had every right to.

“The pills I just gave you are, a prenatal, your heart pill, and the Tylenol as I know you still need it. This should be sufficient enough. So long as you stay hydrated, I see no reason for you to be on an IV including the fact that most of your medications can be taken orally.”

“What's the catch,” Jo said, narrowing her eyes at her, sensing that there was something more.

“There is none,” Carina said as Jo raised her eyebrows. “You are not at risk for preterm labor, and your baby is extremely healthy. If it was up to me I would discharge you this afternoon.”

“Really?” Jo asked in surprise. “Does Cristina or Alex know about this?”

“I've already talked with Cristina about it,” Carina said, but then she frowned. “However, it's Alex who isn't quite on board yet.”

“Of course,” Jo said with an eye roll.

“He is only worried for your safety, however overzealous.”

Jo nodded and she took another sip of her drink. “He's been really anxious recently. He doesn't sleep well and he's had nightmares. He barely eats and he complains of heartburn, but I know it's an anxious stomach. He's so worried about me, and I can see it in his eyes, but when I ask he says he's just tired. But I don't believe him.” 

“Nor do I,” Carina said with a nod.

“I don't know what to do,” Jo admitted to her as she looked down at her wedding rings. “When I was struggling with my mental health, I didn't want to talk to anybody, not even Alex. And I think he's feeling the same thing.”

“I know, Maya was the same way,” Carina said as she looked down as well, playing with her wedding rings. “However Alex has seen you take on your own mental health issues, and will follow your lead to better health, with a little pushing in the right direction.” 

Carina reached out and grasped one of Jo's hands, giving it a squeeze. Jo nodded as well. “I’ll talk to Cristina. I think in this situation she can help him more than anyone. And I need to apologize to you for the way I've been acting. I'm sorry.” 

Jo glanced back up at her, with a sheepish look as Carina gave her a small smile. Carina leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug. “I only worry for you, because I care about you Jo, deeply. You are a dear friend and a trusted colleague. I love you like a sister, I don’t want to lose you.” 

Jo agreed with the nod as she teared up. “I love you like a sister too.”

Carina smiled as she pulled Jo in for another hug. Carina clung to her before she sighed and let go, getting up and hanging Jo her phone. “You’re still an inpatient and you're grounded, and are to remain in your room until you're discharged. However, you are free to call Cristina and Alex. I hope you are able to help him.”

Jo nodded, she knew her punishment was only fair as she pulled up Cristina’s number and pressed call as Carina left her alone.

…………………………………………………………………

“You have to do something about Jo,” Alex yelled as he burst into the office Cristina was working in. Cristina had texted him, to have him come talk to her about Jo. Alex was hoping that she could talk some sense into Jo and get her to stay in her room.

“What do you mean, specifically?” Cristina asked although she didn’t look up from the paper she was writing. She squinted even as she was wearing glasses.

“Well, I just mean that she's like she's running all over the hospital. No one can find her and she takes out her IV. I just found her working in her lab with mice,” Alex explained as he started pacing in front of her.

“Oh yeah the mini livers, how's that going?” Cristina asked, finally looking up at him. 

“I don't know,” Alex said, throwing up his hands. “She said something about trials, but that's still probably at least a year away. I worry about her. She shouldn't be with mice, especially unhealthy ones. What if they bite her or give her some kind of disease? With her heart, she can’t survive that.”

Cristina shrugged and he glared at her then shook his head.

“But this is what I'm talking about. She's completely distracted and focused on working rather than healing like she should be. She should be resting in bed. She should be, I don't know, knitting baby stuff or something.”

“Jo knitting?” Cristina scoffed with a laugh. 

“Well I mean she could if she wanted to,” Alex said as he looked over at her. 

“Alex, what's your heart rate?” Cristina asked, pausing and finally shutting the laptop as she looked up at him. 

“I don't know,” Alex said, pausing as he listened to his heartbeat for a second. “Maybe 120 or something.” 

 Cristina rolled her eyes. “Well put your fingers to your neck and test for it.”

“Why is this important?” Alex continued his pacing, but Cristina got up and stopped him as she put her hands on his shoulders and put her fingers against his neck. 

Alex paused for a breath. He was breathing heavily, but he had been pacing back and forth and running all over the hospital looking for Jo. They had also just had a fight and his emotions were high. 

“Your heart rate is elevated, 187,” Cristina said as she moved his hand to his shoulder giving it a squeeze. “I'm sure your blood pressure isn't much better.”

Cristina pulled out a cuff and placed it on his arm as she took his blood pressure, she frowned at the results and showed it to him. Alex looked up in surprise. “That can't be right, that's way too high okay.”

“Come on, let's go sit down and take a couple of deep breaths,” Cristina said as Alex nodded and they both went over to the couch.

Alex said he knew what she was doing as he let out a sigh. Before he breathed in and out. He remembered the song the kids used to sing, ‘One little breath blew away the clouds.’ As he breathed out. ‘Then in came the sun and melted the snow.’ He often sang it with Helena and Luna as it helped them with their meltdowns and tantrums.

He sat down next to Cristina as she took his blood pressure again and smiled. “Much better.”

“What's the point of all this though?” Alex asked, calmly, but he wasn’t sure where she was going with all this. 

“When was the last time you had a panic attack?” Cristina softly asked him as he shook his head.

“It was when Jo was rushed into surgery.”

“Let me rephrase this, when was the last time your chest was so tight you couldn't breathe?”

“Are you saying that I'm having heart issues now?” 

“No, but I'm guessing the last time you felt that was, was this afternoon, when Jo wasn't there in her room.

“It’s not that she wasn't there, it’s that no one could find her. She could have a heart attack. What if she had died or gone into preterm labor? Or….”

“Alex, why don’t you look at the numbers?” Cristina said, pulling up her computer again and pulling out Jo's latest test results.

He looked over the labs and the stress test results, including the echo that played on the computer. Her heart is strong, there was no denying it. 

“I recommended that she be discharged as of tomorrow and Carina and I both agree. Maggie said she'll take up monthly appointments with Jo until the baby's born and after that every 6 months. She'll get an echo and a stress test and she'll send me the results, but I've also booked a plane home for tonight.”

“You're leaving now? But what if….” 

“Alex, take a breath again.”

Alex growled but did as he was told. He took a deep breath, letting the tightness in his chest uncurl and subside for the moment.

“Your wife is healthy again, you don't need me to babysit her anymore. You can go home and I'm going to go home too.” 

 “But what if….” Alex trailed off as he felt his chest tighten. The anxiety curled inside of him like a spring on a Jack in the box, ready to burst open at any minute.

“Jo said you've been having trouble sleeping.”

“Yeah, but I just have a lot on my plate with Jo and the girls, puls Luna stopped sleeping through the night so I did too and Helena is suddenly biting at daycare so I have to pick her up early and Jo naps during the day and then is up early in the morning and late a night….” 

Cristina raised an eyebrow at him, not believing his justifications. “Carina said Jo’s sleeping well and that Luna only wakes up once in the middle of the night but goes back down easy. I can’t say for the biting thing that’s your department.”

Alex laughed a little as he ran his hand over his face. “But I don't, stare up at the ceiling and worry. I'm always going to worry about my wife and our daughters, you can’t change that.”

“There's worrying about life and then there’s anxiety. Alex, I think it might be wise to make an appointment with your GP to discuss therapy and potential anti-anxiety medication.”

“I don't know if I’m there yet,” Alex said with a shake of his head.

 Cristina just gave him a soft smile. “I think we might be.”

Alex looked away from her, staring at the wall as his chest tightened again. An image of Jo laying on the hospital bed, her eyes not focusing on him and telling him that she didn't feel well. Cristina put a hand on his back and rubbed up and down. That brought him back as he let out a shaky breath. 

He didn't realize he was crying until the tears fell onto his lap and Cristina offered him a tissue. It was like a release of emotions that had been building up for the past month. All of that fear, and anxiety, and worry, and stress of the situation, came pouring out as he cried. Cristina just rubbed his back and offered him tissues. She didn't make fun of him, she never would and for that he was grateful. 

He remembered when he first told Cristina that he loved Jo. Lying on her bed in her room staring up at the ceiling admitting his love for Jo for the first time. Back then he was scared, but it was a different kind of fear, the kind of rejection and heartbreak. If he knew then what he knew now, he would have punched Myers before he had the chance to hurt Jo. He would have loved her sooner and helped her divorce Paul before he lashed out at Andrew. He would have kissed her, loved her, and married her again in a heartbeat. Looking at their life now, he knew that it was all worth it. Even if it meant having to go through all this again. But, he was desperate to get back to the way things were before her heart failed, or at least to have a new normal again.

“I think therapy would be good,” Alex finally admitted as he wiped away the last of the tears with a nod. 

“I’ll help you make an appointment with a therapist today, but first I think you should talk to Jo and make up with her,” Cristina said, giving him a little nudge and Alex agreed with another nod. 

“Will you at least stay for dinner? If Jo gets discharged maybe we could have dinner at Meredith's house,” Alex asked. “I feel like we haven't really spent any time with you and Meredith, just the three of us.” 

“Why don’t you both meet me in the pits after you've made up with Jo and we can drink and talk about how things have changed.”

“I've really missed you.”

“I've missed you too,” Cristina said as she pulled him in for a hug and Alex hugged her back. Neither one of them were good with physical affection but this felt warranted. “You and Mer have to come to Switzerland and bring the kids too. I'm sure they'll have a blast.” 

“I don't know about that,” Alex said with a small laugh. “Meredith’s kids would probably enjoy it, but I don’t know about having two toddlers and a baby on the plane.” 

“I could get you a private jet?” Cristina said with a shrug as if a private jet was a normal way to travel.

“We'll see,” Alex said with a smile.

…………………………………………………………………

Alex approached Hayes as he stood at the nurse's station on the ped’s floor going over his chart work. He had stopped by his office to come down from the high of his emotions and to pick up Jo’s mac and cheese. Hayes glanced up at him with a nod before he went back to his work. The two of them had worked together in the Peds department since the merger with Pac-North. They were co-chiefs, but neither was willing to bend to the other. They often butted heads as they had different approaches to things. However, they were starting to put aside their egos and work together as Heyes had stepped up to help him since Jo had gotten sick.

“I heard Jo escaped again,” Heyes said with a smirk.

Alex sighed as he shook his head. “Don’t even remind me and don’t help her again.”

“She's a grown woman, Karev and she’s mostly recovered,” Hayes argued back with his excuses. 

“I don’t want to hear it Hayes,” Alex said, raising his voice. “It's bad enough that you go along with her and hide out in your office with her.”

“Karev,” Hayes said with a stern voice as Alex growled. “When my wife, Abigail, was in the hospital all she wanted was a bit of normalcy. So I’d take her to have lunch with me in my office like we used to do before she got sick. Jo needed the same normalcy so I had lunch with her in my office. It’s more than you do for her.”

Alex took in Hayes’s scolding with a grain of salt. Yet, when Hayes brought up Abigail, he softened. Hayes was just looking out for Jo as a friend and Alex did appreciate that. He understood what they were going through, given his experience with his own wife. He was also right, although Alex was reluctant to admit it. 

“I know, and Jo must have loved that,” Alex admitted as he looked up at Hayes, the animosity gone. 

“She did, but she would have preferred to have lunch with you. It’s mac and cheese day, her favorite,” Hayes gently reminded him. 

“Yeah, I know that too. I got a bowl for her. I don't think Jo can’t stay in the hospital now that she doesn’t have to. But I need to take paternity leave so I can be with her. She hates being here and she hates being home alone, but if I'm home with her, I’m hoping she’ll let me take care of her. I want to take care of my wife. And I need you to take over for me and run the peds department. I know we butt heads on it, but we’ve been co-chiefs since I came back from Pac North and you’re the only one I trust with my patients, well you and Schmitt too, but don't tell him I said that.” 

“Yeah, the resident doesn't need another ego boost now that he's got his confidence,” Hayes agreed with a smile. “But are you sure? Now that she's recovering more, Jo will settle down if you give her a little bit of freedom and I knew you talked about working until the delivery.”

“I’m sure, Cristina and Carina agreed that she shouldn't work. I still think she should be on light bed rest too but that’s not going to happen. If Jo has to be at home and not working then it’s only fair if I do the same,” Alex said, sure of his plan.

Hayes’ expression softened as he nodded. “You should know that I’ve already talked to some of your patients and introduced myself about taking over your service.”

“You went behind my back and stole my patients?” Alex asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Was I wrong to do so?” Hayes asked with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve been more focused on Jo than your work and for good reason, but someone needed to step in.”

“Okay,” Alex relented, putting his hands down. “I’ll officially hand my patients over to you. I already talked to Chief Altmen and since I'm already on leave she’s agreed to start my paternity leave at the end of the day.” 

“That sounds good, Karev. We can handle it here, go take care of your wife,” Hayes said with a smile patting his back in silent support. 

“Thank you, Hayes,” Alex said letting out a sigh of relief as he felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders.

It took a while to get everything organized. There was a mountain of paperwork and charts. Alex and Hayes met with all of his patients and he was able to hand them over with confidence. With everything in place for him to go on leave, Alex packed up his bag, closed his office, and took off his white coat. Then he went to his wife.

[i-got-a-bad-feeling-about-this]

The Healing String (Actor Marx x GN Reader)

Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Summary- You and Marc both get ready for your first date!

TWs- None, just shorter chapter

So I'm not dead!!! yeah I know i said I was gonna post this like a month ago, and in my defense is started to write it. I just never finished it lol. I was super busy with finals and then Christmas shopping, and getting ready to visit my long distance S/O ( which went wonderfully), and now I'm back. I don't have school and I'm going to attempt to make a writing schedule. no promises though. This is a shorter chapter cause I'm just getting back but the next chapters will be longer!

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Not long after the talk in the garden, you hailed a cab back to your apartment. It was only a temporary place, but it was still nice.  Some would call it pretty and “aesthetic”, but that is not what you were thinking about when you walked into your apartment. Your mind was elsewhere. 

“Holy Shit.” you paused dropping your bag, “HOLY SHIT.” You fisted your hair in your hands and paced around your living room. 

It actually happened, It HAPPENED. You quickly dropped to the ground and grabbed your phone, you needed to tell someone, but who? 

It had to be someone reliable who isn't going to spill the beans to the rest of your family or friends or the press, and will not try to rush you two into anything. 

As you scrolled through your contacts you frowned, yeah you couldn't tell anybody, Not yet at least. 

You groaned and rolled on your back looking up at the ceiling, you should be getting ready and you will. You just need a moment to breathe and process everything that has happened. 

As you lay on your back you felt something soft rub against your side and a smile formed on your face. You turned your head to see your pup. He was an adorable little dog you had picked up off the harsh streets of Los Angeles. He was beaten up and sick when you found him, but after going to the vet getting all of his shots, and getting fixed he was such a good boy (with training of course). You had named him Ethan after one of the main characters in your book and he was your best friend.

You rubbed his head and started to tell Ethan about your day. He wouldn't tell anyone and he couldn't pressure you into doing anything, plus dog cuddles. As you pet your little buddy, your phone chimes. You immediately grabbed it and opened your phone to see if Marc had texted you. 

You smiled and read what he texted out loud to Ethan, “ 6 tonight, best ice cream place in town. I’ll see you soon soulmate &lt;;3” You blushed and looked at your dog, You quickly replied before groaning,

“I hope I don't fuck this up,” You got off the floor to go take a shower. It was hot as all hell and you were sweating like a pig. Ethan barked and ran into your room and jumped on your bed. You gave him a dead pat before walking to your bathroom, shouting to Ethan,

“You're helping me pick out my outfit.” you received a bark as a response as you jumped into the shower. 

Marc looked down at his phone with a smile as he saw your response. 

See you soon soulmate :). 

It had been sent a few hours ago, but still made him smile every time he saw it. He slid on his jacket, finally out of his costume. He wore a nice deep red dress shirt and black pants. He thanked himself for always keeping extra clothes on set or else he would be wearing a ratty t-shirt and jeans to his first soulmate date. He left the top few buttons of the shirt undone for a more casual look, He didn't want to scare them off with a super nice outfit.

He checked his hair one more time before leaving the set and getting to his car. He drove a deep red tesla he had custom ordered, he thought it was worth every bit of money he had spent on it. 

He slid into the car, quickly sending you a text letting you know he was going to pick you up soon. He quickly drove off to see you. As he drove he tapped the wheel nervously, he hoped he wouldn't fuck up this date like he had many others. ( He didn't even want to think about the time he and his date got kidnapped by a chef because he forgot his wallet). He shook his head, he was determined to make this a good first date. You deserved a calm and nice first date, you both did. 

He took a deep breath as he rolled up to your address, everything was gonna be okay. He took a few more deep breaths the way his therapist had shown him before stepping out of his car and heading up to your door. He fixed his hair once more before he knocked on your door, holding some flowers he had picked up on his way behind his back. 

As you opened the door his breath left his body, you were absolutely stunning. You looked amazing. Your hair was styled in a beautiful way that showed off your face and your outfit was amazing. It was nice and casual but suited your body amazingly well. That all was great, but the main thing he noticed was the bright smile on your face, that smile is what took his breath away. 

“Wow, you look amazing.” he complimented before handing you the flowers he had gotten, “I hope you like them, wasn't sure what kind to get.”

You gently took the flowers from his hand before answering, 

“There amazing Marc, my favorite actually, thank you so much.” You quickly put them in a glass vase with water before leaving the apartment. As you closed the door you turned to Marc, 

“You look amazing,” you stated as you both walked to his car. He thanked you, a small blush on his face before he opened the car door for you and closed it after you got it. 

As he jumped into the driver's side he smiled at you, 

“ Ready for the best ice cream ever and our first date, soulmate.” You smiled

“I’ve been ready, soulmate,” you replied.

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[rattyshipss]

Stanley Forbes x reader (/me✌️💖) (Romantic)

Comfort fic about the ending of Ggbb ⚠️Spoilers for Ggbb⚠️

In this Stanley survives the end of Ggbb because I'm upset and I say so.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The lights of the hospital were blinding, but at least it was a nice change from the blinding light of the flames.

Stanley, (Y/n), Pip, and Ravi were all rushed to the hospital after Charlie Green showed up for his revenge on Stanley, Stanley, that was his name, not Jack, not David, not Child Brunswick, Stanley. My Stanley. (Y/n), in the midst of everything, ran infront of Stanley after the gun came out, Stanley immediately pushing her out of the way "(Y/N), GET AWAY FROM ME!" but almost immediately she returned to her spot infront of him and that's how Stanley ended up ok, in the scuffle of Stanley trying to push her out of the way again Charlie fired, managing to hit Stanley multiple times, almost but because of the movement, not fatally, at least not yet.

The group minus Stanley were sitting in the waiting room together, Pip and (Y/n) having been able to get a portion of Stanley's blood off of them, everything smelt like smoke and the gun stayed with them, booming in their heads, it was always with them now. Ravi had helped them clean up, the both of them too numb to move.

Cara, Connor, and Jaime showed up soon after, Cara sitting next to Pip, next in line being Connor sitting next to his brother, then Jaime sitting in between him and (Y/n), Jaime trying to comfort (Y/n) with funny stories about his time with Stanley, like when he tried to fit a whole mattress through the tiny gap in the door so Jaime would be comfortable. Aswell as asking him every day what he'd like for dinner, Stanley always asked you the same question, always the caring man you all knew he really was.

As Jaime was finishing up telling you another Stanley antic, someone came out to tell you Stanley was ready for visiters, asking if he had any family to come back and see him. "N-no he d-"

"She's his family!" Cara butt in, nodding towards (Y/n). (Y/n) gave her a thankful nod in return aswell as a small smile as she followed the doctor back to Stanley.

Walking in to Stanley's hospital room the smell of smoke seemed to newly hit her again, as if it hadn't been following her everywhere from the abandoned farmhouse. Stanley was laying there, eyes dull but clearly lighting up when she walked in, as if he didn't have 6 holes in his body. Stanley's eyes quickly sunk again, remembering everything about him and his past got exposed, specifically to you. "I-I've done this before, when I was 21, the girl I loved called the police on me after finding out who I am, i understand if you leave, just please don't tell anybody I can't start over again, I can pay y-"

"Stanley!" Stanley flinched, hearing you call him Stanley not Jack, not Child Brunswick, not child killer. "I'm not leaving" Stanley's eyes followed her as she walked closer to him. "B-but I-" "You, didn't do shit" she said sitting as carefully on the corner of the bed as she could. "I'm sorry you had to do that" she said, looking down at her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't know"

"Well I was kinda hoping for that" Stanley let out a small crackling cough. "I know, and I'm sorry" she said sniffling. Stanley's eyes shot down. "Well I guess either way I still have to go, the silent alarm at our house was triggered, the police surely have already been in and out and gone over everything, I have to leave again, start over, again."

"No" (Y/n) replied. "Look I know how persistent you can be sometimes but I don't think you're gonna-"

"Stanley" There it was again, Stanley, it sounded so nice coming from your mouth. "We talked to the police, your parol officer, everybody, none of us are gonna tell, the only person we have to worry about is Charlie and Flora" Stanley's head perked up. "They got away, but they have a warrent out for their arrest, they're being tracked down, we got everybody else to eventually agree to let you stay, you don't have to leave"

Stanley's eyes lit up, skeptical but excited, just as the others shuffled in behind her, Stanley's eyes immediately shifting to Pip, "Thank you, for everything" Stanley knew he wasn't done thanking her, any of them, he'd probably end up thanking them too much, but the simple thank you was ok for now, everything was ok now.

Pip, still shaking, still partially covered in his blood for gods sake, "I'm glad you're ok Stanley" They gave eachother a knowing nod before Pip's giggle broke the tension. "You're right, it is a silly name" Stanley smiles back. "But it's your name" Stanley and her shared a comfortable sweet silence until Stanley felt something hit his arm, tediously staying clear of his wounds. "And if you ever push me out of the way when you're in danger again, I'll kill you myself. (Y/n) spoke before placing a kiss on the top of his head, Stanley reaching to grab her hand.

"See?! Stanley, Stan the man, I told you I love that bitch! Shes fucking awesome!" Cara pressed her lips together with a knowing look raising her hand to Stanley for a fist bump, which he fully accepted this time around, reaching up to return the gesture with a wide grin on his face. "She really is"

"And scary" Cara said quickly eyeing Stanley. "You should've seen her with Charlie, scary" Cara whispered the next part towards Pip. "Especially because Charlie's still out there"

After everybody finally got a breath, mostly checking if Stanley was ok, and the occasional pun from Ravi to lighten the mood, everybody left (Y/n) and Stanley to themselves.

"You know, as much as I hate that bitch for what she did to you I'm kinda glad you guys didn't end up together" Stanley looked up confused before his confusion turned into an adoring smile, realizing she was referencing the woman he almost married when he was 21, if things didn't go how things did.

"Me too"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I love this so much and this is how Ggbb should've ended I'm so proud of this and the fucking ending I-😭👉👈💖

[mbrainspaz]

debating (alone), over a glass of cheap wine, the pros and cons of calling out people at work for misgendering me. Some of them don't know because I make posts but I don't gab about it. Nobody wants to talk about gender in rural south texas. I can barely get them to talk about fiction if I'm reeeaaally lucky. Mostly it's the weather, horses, and food. Horse food. On a good day nobody makes a painfully lame transphobic joke.

The office execs? I could not give less of a f**k if they knew my pronouns. I put 'non-binary' on all my office accounts and paperwork in the interest of being honest and clearly zero people check that stuff. The new manager texted me like 'giiirl' yesterday and it sounds just as fake as everything else she says, so why ask her to stop? If she only referred to me as 'filthy peasant' I could at least respect the honesty.

My coworkers, I don't care very much if they know, because I'm there to do a job no matter what people think about 'who I am as a person.' Gender doesn't make much difference in practice. That's why I like this job in the first place. Besides, one of them is a queer-yet-weirdly-homophobic teenager and the other is a painfully white conspiracy theorist so we keep things professional for what's left of everyone's sanity. There's also an old guy who only pops up to angrily tell me I'm doing things wrong and mock me like a high school teacher would. I don't care what his deal is. There was one incident where the site manager 'she'd' me really hard in front of a new client I wanted to impress and my eye got a bit twitchy, but mostly it just doesn't come up.

The clients... it's kind of the same deal, except some of them hang out and chat, and have friended me on fb, talk to me outside work, and bring me food. Part of me just wants to understand why they keep misgendering me. I've gotta wonder if it's the conservative brain rot even though some of them are chill enough to at least pass for liberal. The trouble is that I balk at the thought of calling them out on it. Not out of self-preservation 'cause god knows I've got none of that. I try to tell myself 'she' is one of my pronouns. Technically. Sometimes. Maybe not when I fully look and act like a dude though. Definitely not all the time.

No matter who it is, what always stops me from saying anything is the existential question of: if I have to beg for respect, does it still mean anything?

If they won't step up on their own—take a single ounce of initiative after seeing the posts or the paperwork where I clearly asked for they/them pronouns and all the resource/info posts after—clearly they don't care. I sure as hell know I can't make people care. I couldn't make my own parents love me, and I did beg.

So even after coming out here I still the f**k am, stuck withholding the rest of me. I smile and make conversation and enjoy their company for what it's worth. Because I can't make a single person on this earth give me anything, least of all respect. Doesn't change who I am, and I know that. I hope someone else cares enough to notice eventually.

That's the catch-22 I'm trapped in: Anybody I called out wouldn't be worth it.