#and you have him raise his voice at Inej in like the first episode??

[mistylakeee]

If shadow and bone season two doesn’t give us Kaz teasing the shit out of Inej like he does and Inej giving him the look I don’t want it

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Tale of Stolen Hearts: Chapter XIII - No Matter What Will Happen, My Heart Beats for You

Chapter Summary: What fate will the King decide for you?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Wylan Hendriks/Jesper Fahey

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Kaz Brekker, Wylan Hendriks, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey

Word Count: 3838

A/N: moi tsar – my ruler, king sankta – saint Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089577824/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089533269/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089577829/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089533253/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089550803/ The last scene in this chapter contains plot from the 5 episode of season 2.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

You are finally brought to the Throne Room in the Grand Palace. Your hands are bound, obviously, and spread apart. The whole chamber is filled with people, both Grisha and otkazat'sya. You even notice some familiar faces. You'd wave at them if you could.

King Alexander is sitting on his throne with his wife Tatiana next to him. You can see their sons, Vasily and Nikolai standing behind them. Only Nikolai, the youngest son, is not sending daggers at you with his eyes. He's looking at you more with curiosity. You stare back at them all calmly, bravely.

'You know why you are here,' King's voice silences all whispers. 'You are accused of treason, murder of a member of the royal family, my nephew, Pyotr Landsov. To escape punishment, you faked your own death and lived in hiding. But the justice finally caught up with you. The First Army caught you-'

'After I saved their asses,' you put in. You swear you can hear Tatiana's snicker masked with a cough.

'Do not interrupt your King!' Alexander III booms.

'I just think people here should know all the facts, before you convict me, you know?' you ask. 'Like, for example, what happened that day?'

'Nothing you have to say would justify such crime,' the King says, glaring at you. You raise your chin and give him a challenging look.

'How about this?' you ask. 'Your darling nephew tried to force himself on me.'

Some people gasp. The Queen stops glaring at you. Nikolay's eyes go wide. King freezes at those words.

'Oh, you haven't heard the best part yet,' you say, looking around at the gathered people. 'He said it's a normal thing in his party. That he "tests" all women in there this way.'

Your eyes find a girl you remember seeing that day. She looks down. You notice her fists clenching.

'No one ever said about such thing before,' the King dismisses you. You bark a humourless laugh.

'How could they?' you ask. 'Most likely instead of getting help or having this put to stop, they would be thrown out of the army… or worse. Or the usual thing would happen. They would be told it was their fault. Because that's how it usually goes. Rape victims are blamed for what happened, instead of getting help. What I did was a crime, I don't deny that. But he at least suffered for a short time. His victims may still be traumatised because of what happened. I still have nightmares about what he almost did. Because the rape doesn't end for the victim when their abuser is done with them. They have to live with the memory of that forever.'

'Show some respect to the dead!' the King booms.

'He showed me none when he was alive,' you spat with venom but then your look softens. 'I don't say he deserved what I did to him. I didn't mean for that to happen. But fear of what he tried to do caused me to lose control of my abilities for a moment. And that was enough for a disaster to happen. I'm sorry I've caused you and your family grief. Yes, I ran that day. I've been running for most of my life. But I'm done with that today. I'll take consequences for my actions. Just remember, before giving me my punishment, I'm not the only one to blame for what happened.'

You can hear whispers in the room. You face the emperor bravely. He's almost steaming with rage.

'There's only one possible punishment for what you did,' the King says. 'And it's death!'

'Moi tsar, if I may…' you hear a familiar voice. The King almost sighs, you can hear it.

'General Kirigan,' he says, nodding his head, but it's clear he's not happy. Kirigan steps out from the crowd and joins you. You don't look at each other, not wanting the gathered to know about your relationship. It could cause you more harm.

'I don't claim what Miss [L/N] did wasn't wrong or justified,' Kirigan starts. 'But she's right that we should take the circumstances into consideration as well. And like she said, she didn't intend to kill him. It was… more of a self-defence. Could she control her abilities more? Maybe. But let's not forget she didn't train in the Little Palace, she was self-taught. Control of emotions is hard to accomplish by yourself. That said, I don't believe she deserves to be executed for what she did.'

'Why do you defend her so much, General?' the King asks, tilting his head to the side. 'You barely know her. You spent what? Weeks together?'

'I know her enough,' Kirigan says. 'She's impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fearless.'

You shrug. That sounds about right.

'And most importantly… she's not a murderer,' Kirigan says and points at the Grisha. 'On the contrary, she's a hero. All of those people are alive right now… because of her. She's the one who risked her life and destroyed the device meant to doom all Grisha. Fjerdans were about to use it in the battle we had two days later. We would lose very quickly if it had happened. We were close to losing anyway. And we didn't because of her. If we're talking today about her actions, let's not forget about those as well. Because, quite possibly, we all are alive here today thanks to her.'

Silence fills the room. The King looks around the room. He doesn't like some stares he gets. Because Kirigan is right. You did save Ravka. For most you are a Saint. Killing you now and after you revealed you did it because you had been almost raped… would just make you more of a martyr for the people.

'Very well,' the King finally says. 'General Kirigan is right. We can't forget how you helped save Ravka… for which we are grateful. However, it does not absolve you of your crimes. Hereby, you are banished from Ravka. You have a month to settle your matters and a day to leave Os Alta. If you are found on Ravkan territory after that… death awaits you.'

Banishment. Better than death but… you still can't have what you really want.

'Thank you for your mercy, moi tsar,' you say, bowing your head. You almost vomit saying those words. The King waves his hands. You are taken out of the Throne Room. Only outside you will be freed from your bonds. While you're leaving, you cast a glance behind your back. Your eyes meet Kirigan. The sadness in his eyes is as deep as the one in yours.

*

A month has passed. You were preparing to leave the Ravka. That requires a trip through the Fold. The King truly was cruel. But hey, you came back from the dead, so what are a few Volcras to you, right?

On the day you are about to set out to the Fold, Kirigan arrives to bid you goodbye. You welcome him in your (for a few more minutes) apartment with a smile.

'How are things in Os Alta?' you ask. He takes off his coat and puts it on your armchair.

'Half of the kingdom wants you dead,' he sighs.

'Wow, a month ago it was the whole kingdom,' you say and grin. 'Things are looking up!'

'Please, stop joking about it,' Kirigan says, glaring at you. You shrug.

'You know it's my defence mechanism,' you say. But you allow your walls to drop. Kirigan looks at you softly, seeing how vulnerable and scared you are.

'At least you are alive,' he says, walking toward you. You send him a weak smile. He takes your hands in his.

'Thanks to you,' you say. 'I didn't get to say it then, so let me now. Thank you. If it weren't for what you said, I'd…'

'I promised you, remember?' he asks. 'That I'd fight for you.'

You can feel tears in your eyes. You try to blink them away. Kirigan notices it and lets you go. You walk away and busy yourself with gathering your things, while also drying your eyes.

'What are you going to do now?' Kirigan asks after a moment.

'I'm heading to Ketterdam,' you answer. 'Sounds like a good place for me. Then… I'll see. Maybe I'll move to a different town. Maybe I'll travel. Maybe I'll spend there the rest of my life, however long or short it would be.'

'You are a powerful Grisha,' Kirigan says. 'If you use your powers often and master them, who knows? Maybe you could be immortal. Or nearly immortal.'

'No, no, no,' you quickly say, turning to him. 'I don't want to become immortal! Who'd want to live with themselves for that long?'

Kirigan barks a laugh. You grin at him. Then you look at your things.

'Right,' you say. 'I think that's about it.'

'Let me help you,' Kirigan says and walks to you. Together you take your things outside. There you pack it to carriage your sister got for you. Or rather your luggage. You're going to ride on Hector. Elizabeth claims he's grown fond of you. You just think she wants to get rid of him, because he doesn't listen to anyone.

'Right, time for me,' you sigh and turn to Kirigan. 'You know, my life really took a turn from a year ago.'

'I know,' Kirigan says, taking your hand in his and then pulls you to himself suddenly. 'You thought you were insatiable but then you met me.'

'You think too highly of yourself,' you say, raising your eyebrows. Kirigan smirks.

'Am I not everything you wanted?' he teases you.

'I wanted a little less arrogance,' you answer. Kirigan laughs. You grin. But then your smile becomes sadder.

'I've missed that laugh,' you say. 'And I'm going to miss it again.'

'I know,' Kirigan says quietly, his eyes filled with sadness as well. 'I wish… I wish you told me about your plan. Then I…'

'What?' you ask. 'You'd come with me?'

'Maybe,' Kirigan answers, shrugging. 'We will never know, because you robbed me of that choice.'

You bite your lip. You shake your head.

'I was really considering it, you know,' you say. 'Telling you of my plan and asking you to run away with me. But… I couldn't do that to you. Because I know how hard you work to keep all Grisha safe. If you had run with me… all of that would have been for nothing.'

'So, that's a "no" to considering allowing me to go with you now?' Kirigan asks. You smile sadly.

'You would hate it, Kirigan,' you say. 'And maybe hate me again after some time.'

'I don't think I could,' Kirigan says after a moment. 'Hate you again. There's no coming back to how things were between us. And… call me "Aleksander".'

You smile. He smiles back and cups your face.

'One day… you will be able to return,' he says. 'I promise.'

'Or maybe one day the war will be over and you will be able to come to me,' you say. Aleksander chuckles humourlessly.

'After all that time?' he asks. 'I doubt it.'

'Never lose hope,' you say. Aleksander nods. He leans to you, closing his eyes. You close your eyes and answer the coming kiss.

'I still hate your lips on mine,' you whisper and he chuckles. 'I will miss it so much.'

'Never lose hope,' Aleksander says your words back to you. You roll your eyes and pull away. But you cup his cheek.

'I love you,' you say, causing him to smile. 'Remember that. Nothing will change that. I will always love you.'

'And you remember, that no matter what, my heart is yours,' Aleksander says. 'It beats for you. Only for you.'

You smile. How you wish you could have more time… Alas, the rich and powerful just love to make people like you miserable.

'Time to go,' you whisper and move away from Aleksander. You mount Hector and look at Aleksander. He grabs your hand for a moment longer.

'Farewell… Aleksander,' you say, trying not to fall apart.

'Not "farewell",' he says, shaking his head. 'It's: see you next time.'

'See you next time, then,' you laugh. Aleksander forces a smile. He takes a step back.

'May Saints be with you,' you say.

'I only want one Saint to be with me,' Aleksander says. You roll your eyes.

'Oh, you will not let me live this one down,' you say. Aleksander smirks.

'Not likely,' he says and his look softens. 'Be careful.'

'You as well,' you say, forcing a smile. You look at the driver of your carriage and nod. It's time to set off. You wink one last time at Aleksander and make your horse turn around. Then your smile falls and tears well in your eyes. You cry as you ride away from Caryeva, your life… and the one you love. This time, you don't turn back. It would be too painful.

*

'So, what exactly are we waiting for?' Tolya Yul-Bataar asks.

'For information about the Neshyenyer,' Kaz Brekker answers. 'And if my contact, who's also the best thief I know, agrees, she will also help us if it would be required to steal it.'

Zoya freezes. She frowns, as she connects the information from Kaz. She. Best thief. Here in Ketterdam.

'Saints,' Zoya sighs. 'Do not tell me…'

Before anyone can ask her what she means, Kaz straightens up, seeins someone behind Zoya and Tolya. They turn and Zoya curses under her breath.

You walk into the building and look around. Locating Kaz, you head toward him, smiling.

'That was fast,' he comments once you're close.

'Please, I'm the fan of that theft,' you say. 'I just needed to check a few details.'

Your eyes fall on Zoya and you stop talking. She looks at you with a smirk.

'From all the people I expected to see here, you're far on that list,' you say.

'Long time no see, [Y/N],' Zoya says. 'It's been years.'

'It's the moment you say you didn't miss me, right?' you ask.

'Well, maybe a little bit,' Zoya admits. You grin at her.

'I take it you know each other,' Kaz says. Ah, yes. He hates to be ignored.

'We've spent a few weeks together,' you say. 'But now back to business. What I found out is for all of you?'

'Yes,' Zoya confirms. You nod.

'So, as you probably know the Neshyenyer at Ahmrat Jen is fake,' you say. 'It's been stolen by a thief known as The Disciple. My personal hero, but about it later. He had a penchant for stealing Saint-related relics while on jobs.'

'So he's a thief and a collector?' Wylan Hendriks asks.

'And retired,' you add. 'But he has since put a few pieces of his collection on the black market.'

'So, to get to him, we go to his fence,' Tolya says.

'Ohval Saran,' you say, nodding. 'She has a tea shop in Bhez Ju. To speak with her, we have to order yellow chrysanthemum tea, off-menu. That's all I know. The rest is up to you.'

'Wouldn't you want to help?' Kaz asks. 'We may need to steal it, worst case scenario. Think about it, stealing from the Disciple.'

'Mm, don't tempt me, Kaz,' you say, smiling.

'We could use your skills,' Tolya says. 'It's really important. Prince Nikolay will pay any price.'

'Prince Nikolay?' you ask, your smile fading. 'This is who you are getting the sword for?'

'We are getting it for Alina Starkov, but on Prince Nikolay's orders,' Wylan answers. You frown.

'Why would Alina Starkov need it?' you ask.

'To destroy the Darlking's indestructible army of shadow monsters,' Tolya answers. Zoya, who for the past few minutes has been trying to get them all to stop talking, hides her face in her hand. She misses the way your body freezes.

'The Darkling… he's alive?' you ask.

'And kicking,' Tolya confirms, nodding. 'He won't stop at nothing to get what he wants.'

It costs you everything to calm your heart. You didn't want to believe the news. That Aleksander has expanded the Fold. That he died. That he gave his heart to Sun Summoner for her to reject him. But now you hear that all of that is true. Well, you're still not sure about the last one.

'I don't want gold,' you say after a moment of silence, during which everyone in the team has been watching you. 'I want something else.'

'Name it,' Tolya says. 'Prince Nikolay is a man of his word.'

'I want my banishment from Ravka revoked,' you say. Nina Zenik's eyes go wide when it clicks for her.

'Hold on,' she says. 'You're a thief, your name is [Y/N] and you were banished from Ravka? You're her, aren't you?'

'Sankta [Y/N],' Tolya says in awe, connecting the dots as well. You grimace.

'Please, don't call me that,' you say.

'But you are, aren't you?' Tolya asks. 'You stole the device that threatened all Grisha from Fjerdans. And then killed almost all of them during the battle.'

'You also told the King some nasty words during your trial,' Nina says and chuckles. 'I wasn't there at the time, but someone told me all about it. I was your number one fan from that day, I swear.'

'Why were you trailed and banished from Ravka?' Wylan asks. Silence falls around your group. You look at Wylan, your face blank.

'I killed the King's nephew,' you answer, causing him to flinch. 'In self-defence. He tried to force himself on me. It was a… an instinct. I didn't control my abilities as a Heartrender at the time.'

Wylan nods slowly, a bit unsure. You look at Zoya and Tolya.

'So?' you ask. 'Can you guarantee me I will be welcomed back in Ravka after I help you?'

'Like I said, Prince Nikolai is a man of his word,' Tolya says seriously, nodding. You shrug.

'Great,' you say and look at Kaz. 'Consider me convinced, then.'

'Good,' Kaz says but then something behind you distracts him. You turn and see his two friends walking down the stairs – Inej Ghafa and Jesper Fahey. Kaz walks to talk (or rather argue) with Inej. Jesper notices you and grins. He walks to you.

'[Y/N], are you coming with us?' he asks.

'Yes, I'm promised I can go back to Ravka if we succeed,' you answer. Behind you Tolya and Nina walk away together, talking about something.

'Already bored with our beautiful Ketterdam?' Jesper asks, smirking. You smile slightly. You can feel Zoya's eyes on you. You shake your head.

'I simply have something to come back to,' you answer. You feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn your head and see Zoya. She points with her head to her right, letting you know she wants to speak with you in private. You nod and follow her to the side.

'Don't do it, [Y/N],' she says quietly. 'He's not worth it.'

'Don't do what?' you ask. Zoya scoffs and crosses her arms.

'I know you want to come back to Ravka to see him,' she says. 'You love him, don't you? I saw the way you looked at him when you were taken away from the Throne Room that day. And how he looked at you.'

You stare at Zoya silently. You don't know what to say to that. You know she had feelings for him, too.

'He's not the man he wanted us to believe he is,' she says softly. 'Anyway, you spent only a few weeks with him. You can't risk everything for such short acquaintance.'

'I didn't spend only a few weeks with him,' you say, raising your chin. Zoya frowns at you. Her mouth parts when the realisation dawns on her.

'Every time he was leaving the Little Palace and was gone longer than he should… he was crossing the Fold to see you,' she guesses. You nod and smile sadly at the memories of seeing Aleksander during the past few years. But it falls quickly.

'He stopped at some point, though,' you say. 'Around the time the rumours about the Sun Summoner started.'

Zoya stares at you silently. She can understand your pain of being casted away, because she felt it when Alina showed up. And earlier when she was travelling to Fjerda with you.

'I don't think he really loves her,' she says. 'When I saw them together… it was like he was trying to make her like him. Around you he was more natural.'

'Thank you for saying that, Zoya,' you say with a small smile. 'Did you… Did you two during those years…?'

'Yes, but I always thought it was more to keep up an appearance,' Zoya answers and sighs. 'Maybe you really stole his heart. But he's still not worth it, [Y/N]. What he did… and what he wants to do…'

'Deep down, do you still care about him?' you ask. Zoya flinches. She sighs and nods.

'He was the first person that made me feel loved,' you say, looking at her pleadingly. 'If there's a chance I can get through to him, save him… I have to take it. Or just see him one last time.'

'What if you don't?' Zoya challenges you. 'What if we have to kill him?'

You bite your lips. What would you do? Would you let them? Or would you protect Aleksander?

'I don't know,' you answer honestly. 'I really don't know, Zoya.'

Zoya stares at you. She sighs after a moment.

'Fine,' she says. 'I'll help you save him. Or convince others to let you do that. If anyone can actually stop him, it's you.'

'Thank you!' you say and surprise her with a hug.

'We're still not friends,' she says and pulls away. You smirk and wink at her.

'Tell yourself that,' you say. Zoya rolls her eyes but smiles slightly.

'Pack what you need and meet us here,' she says.

'Already packed,' you say, shrugging. 'Ever since I faked my own death, I have the essentials packed. You know, in case I need to run.'

'Alright, just this time, please, don't bring assassins with you,' Zoya says and heads toward the rest.

'Don't worry, every assassin in Ketterdam now knows better than to go after me,' you say, grinning. Jasper laughs.

'Oh, I remember that,' he says. 'It was both hilarious and terrifying.'

'I don't want to know,' Zoya sighs. 'What about the ones in Shu-Han?'

'Well, it's my first time going there, so no one wants me dead there,' you answer.

'Yet,' Zoya says grimly. 'They will want the moment they meet you.'

You stick out your tongue at her. She scoffs and shakes her head. You look at your team and smile. Maybe together you will manage to get that sword. And save Aleksander from his own stupidity.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47256868/chapters/120506770

[starwarsrebels]

i was rewatching shadow and bone for the millionth time today and it only just dawned on me that inej was probably finally getting used to working for someone who never raised their voice or became aggressive with her when kaz went and pulled that "THEN MAYBE YOU STAY HERE" crap, which makes that scene even more heartbreaking. because yes the words themselves hurt, but i think it was the way he expressed them that caught her so off guard. the thing is, this was probably also the first time she’d ever been able to leave the moment it became too much. she knew kaz wouldn’t force her to stay, the way heleen would have. and the fact that kaz regrets it immediately because he knows this and he knows her trauma and knows he fucked up and is immediately ready to apologize. you can see that any ounce of pride just evaporates from him completely, especially in the next scene in his office when pekka’s men break in and he thinks it’s inej. there is no hesitation, he doesn’t even check to see if it’s her before he’s already trying to explain himself. i’ll admit, at first i didn’t like that he raised his voice to her at all, but i’m convinced that this was done on purpose. because after this incident, he’ll know never to do it again. he cares for her too much to make such an insensitive mistake again, and it kind of helps give more of a backstory to kaz and inej’s relationship moving forward. how calm and collected he always seems to be around her, even when he’s feeling the complete opposite on the inside. this much is obvious already in episode six, when they’re arguing about inej having let alina go. he could have gone full brekker on her but instead he held back. it’s a subtle courtesy he wouldn’t grant to anyone else.

[lonslibrary]

things the netflix shadow and bone got right and wrong—my reaction to the show (🚨 contains spoilers, pls read at your own risk!!)

- to start on a positive note! the shadow and bone characters: i, like many others, didn’t care too much for shadow and bone with the exception of nikolai and am also half convinced a different person wrote soc judging by how little i enjoyed reading s&b compared to soc and crooked kingdom. however, i thought the show was enjoyable and got the characters spot on. alina was more likable, mal was not bland/douchey at all, and i thought ben barnes as the darkling hit every right note.

- highlights included genya and david; though they didn’t have too much screen time, genya was stunning and david was almost exactly how i imagined him when reading the books. i’ve grown attached to them, and yes, i’m pretending row chapter 20 doesn’t exist :-)

- cgi and costuming was also super impressive. loved the keftas, loved the crows’ outfits, and the stag, the fold, and all the grisha powers were really, really good.

- moving on to the crows, i will say i thought casting was some of the best i’ve ever seen throughout all ya adaptations, although i know there are some things that could have been improved, including the fact that danielle galligan, who plays nina, isn’t plus size (no hate to the actress, pls). however, all the reviews i read praised kit young and i could see very obviously why. his jesper was spot on—exactly as i had imagined in the books. i’m willing to bet kruge on the fact that he falls within everyone’s top 5 characters. loved his character in the books, and kit was perfect for him.

- amita was also a stunning inej. her knife/acrobatic skills were all there like i imagined and i thought she portrayed the character very well on screen. i was so invested in her menagerie backstory when reading so i was happy to see some of that get into the show as well.

- ok, now my thing about kaz: freddy carter’s performance was perfectly good! i had no issues with his acting, but i think the show, meaning the producers/writers, haven’t fully understood kaz. don’t get me wrong, the introductory scene with all the crows in ep 1 was fabulous. jesper shooting the coin, kaz’s cane being on screen first, inej’s silent appearance. i really enjoyed the grittiness of kaz, the way his bare hands weren’t shown once, his hair, his cane, how he sweat, etc. however, i thought they overdid it with the pekka rollins backstory, which i think could have been saved for later seasons, and i wanted non-readers to be introduced to a more brutal, calculating, brooding, and genius kaz. i know he isn’t like that all times, but i felt like he was kind of on the defensive(?) very often, raised his voice when it wasn’t needed, etc. i wanted more of his smart, scheming moments like when he double crosses the conductor. not sure how to explain it, but his character felt a bit off at times. maybe i’ve read the books too many times to the point where i’ve kinda made him in my head very specifically.

- nina and matthias: loved danielle and calahan’s performance, i know some disagree but i think the actors were also pretty spot on to how i imagined in the books. their lines most alike to the books as well so i loved hearing the quotes. i did feel that their relationship moved too quickly, though. i definitely feel like matthias would have taken up a bit more time than that to warm up and i know how it goes in the books, but on screen it felt really sped up to the point where i was like already?? i feel like with how much they put into the very little screen time they had, this could’ve been saved for flashbacks in season 2.

- the combination of the two series did worry me but it was pretty smooth! i liked where the crows went, how they kinda came together in the end, but i’m also glad that they’re separating after all. i’m so invested in seeing the soc and crooked kingdom storyline come to life exactly how it is in the books so i don’t want any more interference lol. i am worried about how the timeline is gonna work in season 2 because obviously the civil war has not ended, but i really liked how the last episode set us up for season 2. (also a random note, but the show was very dark lol i had my brightness up all the way the entire time)

- HIGHLIGHTS: milo the goat (mvp of the show), jesper tumbling the stable boy, all of jesper’s lines, really, the darkling’s office/room setting, genya and david’s one (1) singular scene together, the darkling’s kefta, the child actors portraying alina and mal, the way the stag’s bones connected alina to the darkling (super grotesque, but a good portrayal of her becoming his prisoner), the CUT omg, that one scene when jesper pretends he didn’t shoot on dime lions territory, the scene where the fjerdans attack alina in the forest, kaz avoiding the cut, kaz saving jesper from the cut, inej’s knife battle with the heartrender, kaz stepping in front of inej to face the volcra, FEDYOR AND IVAN omg, kaz’s “jes?”, queen baghra, the darkling coming out of the fold at the end with his monsters that are impossible to spell, and more i can’t remember after binging the show until 3AM.

- in conclusion, it lived up the excitement for sure, and i’m ready for season 2!! especially with the way the last episode ended. i’m very eager to see my faves, nikolai and wylan, and cannot wait to watch where the grishaverse takes us next.

do you agree or disagree with my thoughts? i want to hear everyone’s opinions!! feel free to drop comments below :))

[starlightandsunshine]

Shadow & Bone Rewatch pt. 2

(with bonus added commentary from my boyfriend who’s seeing it all for the first time)

I’ll write this as we go and anything with a * next to it will have expanded thoughts at the end. Also I have read none of the books but do own Six of Crows and have been meaning to read it for a while.

Readmore because again this got super long

2: We’re All Someone’s Monster

ok the bully kid has a really annoying voice

also bf has raised eyebrows about all the anti-grisha prejudice

i really love the first demonstration of healing - the way she’s nice but still very matter of fact about it all and the way that she moves her arm the same way what she’s healing moves with the little lift - it’s a really nice tie to how the summoner powers also work by following the gestures the summoners make

also as a side note - in one of the later episodes its mentioned that a grisha’s hands need to touch before they can use their powers and so far thats been true every time and iirc i think will continue to be true consistently throughout except for when heartrenders are sensing heartbeats which i’m not sure doesn’t count as a passive rather than active use of power

ngl i kind of love zoya’s almost bitchiness here

bf is confused about the tatoo

also he now knows inej’s name which i’m sure only had a tiny bit to do with kaz repeatedly calling her name when she vanishes after their argument

i hadn’t noticed it before but the healer actually does go with alina to the tent

also there are way more grisha in this scene than i remember

bf: oh so this black general guy is a drama queen. good to know

lmao i completely forgot that when he said ‘closer’ alina takes the tiniest step forward that she can whilst still actually moving

bf: yes it is your fault. feel guilty. but also i’m fairly sure that thats not at all why you’re there

wait there are non-grisha in the tent? i didn’t notice that before

bf: tested? what does that mean? wait is he going to stab her? why is he stabbing her?

ok so on the first watch through i did kind of ship alina/the darkling up until episode 5 at which point i kind of took a step back to reevaluate and then everything in episode 6 and 7 happened and officially set my regard for the ship on fire but its really interesting to go back to the start and see the set up for the later reveal because even though this is his first scene, there is alrealdy a set up for it with a few hints. in this case i’m talking about the whole tone/expression he uses when he’s saying that they just need to ‘make sure’ about alina being the sun summoner because on first watch this seemed kind of like ‘oh its because we don’t know him and we’re seeing the outsider perspective not the grisha one’ but when he asks her to roll up her sleeve there’s a genuinely threatening feel to the whole thing that i sort of glossed over the first time because i’m so used to anti-hero characters that i just thought he was supposed to be another one*

bf wants to know why the shes bleeding sunlight and tbh i’m not quite sure just that its related to the test

bf: ding dong you were wrong, sorry mal

bf: ok this gangster guy is actually way scarier than i thought he was bf: wait is this backstory hint? are we getting backstory

bf: wait she still has to go back to the brothel. wow that’s awful

lol at jesper meaning well but sticking his foot in his mouth

omg i completely missed the gag with the drinks the first time and jespers expressions are just fantastic

bf: defintiely backstory setup what is it me: no idea it’s only hints they haven’t explained it yet bf: oh. i’m still going to try to figure it out

bf: why is he all threatening to the poor lady? its so rude to take his bad mood out on her me: wait for it

bf: ohhhhh. i get it now. smart guy. i like it

i did not pick up on that hint about her daughter being grisha last time but hey this is hint #2 that somethings up

ivan’s face! omg (bf: grumpy guy. why do i feel like we’re going to be seeing more of grumpy guy? me: because we are bf: do we like grumpy guy? do we have positive or negative feelings for him? me: mixed feelings. definitely mixed. he’s a dick)

i can’t tell if zoya is bitter or jealous... both maybe?

ok so i remembered this disarming scene from last time so bf and i tried to count the knives (and i want to keep track to see if it adds up by that scene in ep 8 where she runs out) and we both agreed she has 13 knives

inej: would you like to see how it works? bf: yes please stab him i hate these people already

bf: but inej doesn’t kill... oh that’s cruel bf: he’s a slaver? oh he dead. he’s so dead

bf: ninja skills! yes

bf: jesper makes a very good point. how is that different morally? bf: and kaz interrupted whoops

bf: grumpy dude’s friend (he means fedyor, he’s decided that they’re friends based on the nudging) is nice but kind of dumb. do we like him? me: yes we do bf: cool cool cool

bf: and grumpy guy also has some good points even if he’s being rude about it

side note: this is the first reference to grisha being feared as a good thing and its interesting that it comes straight from ivan’s mouth, especially since its placed directly against alina’s views**

bf: (in response to fedyor talking about alina being hope for grisha) but no pressure or anything

aaaand obvious trap is obvious.

bf: awww, the nice one is being the grumpy one’s emotional translator

bf: bloodbending! called it

ok i like the reference to the fact that i’m pretty sure grisha need to be able to see to use their powers on something

bf: (referring to the darkling cutting the drueskelle into pieces) well thats brutal

my bf really likes jesper and loves the phrase ‘not a jesper talent’

bf: oh this guy is so dead (referring to the conductor)

oh that is the face of a man who never gets told ‘no’ and really doesn’t like hearing it

oh shit ok that’s the bit he uses to manipulate her with in ep 7

aaand that bit about not wanting to be found hit its mark

i feel like that bit about not being alone because she’s grisha is something that he’s said to other grisha a lot but that he’s kind of not really addressing what she was saying. her point was that he ripped her away from everything and everyone that she knows and now she’s never not going to be a target and his response was that she’s not alone? way to miss her point*

oh protective!mal i forgot about this little bit. i love them

bf: oh jesper’s good with those guns. like really good. he’s great

bf: oh oh no this conductor guy is the same one that she sent inej after isn’t he bf: called it

ok this scene between inej and the conductor is just so raw and emotional and it kills me

bf: oh kaz’s life just flashed before his eyes

bf: use your words stupid bf: yes like that. conductor guy is so lucky kaz needed him

the darkling is so overdramatic. also yes. yes she is a prisoner, he’s just going to try and make her forget that

bf: no no why is she crying. i don’t like this why is she crying me: because she’s basically just lost pretty much everything she ever knew, had people try to kill her and is now more or less a prisoner? bf: at least the room is nice? bf: what’s she looking for? oh a weapon. smart

bf: oh wait is he just going to leave? isn’t that illegal bf: he’s definitely leaving bf: aww his friends are such good friends bf: very good friends keeping him from being executed bf: that’s not actually that bad advice

‘closest friend’ pfft you may as well just say “we’re all fools for love” it has the same meaning

bf: why do i feel like [kaz]’s about to do something stupid?

bf: why doesn’t he want to touch her hand? bf: oh does he have powers too? me: no he just doesn’t like touching people bf: oh. well fair enough i guess

can i just say that i love this ending shot with them both lying down and reaching for each other from separate beds but looking to where the other would be? it’s great.

Ok and now further thoughts that i started above but decided to save for when i’m not actually watching the episode:

*so the initial set-up for the darkling/black general/aleksander actually not being such a good guy is so well done in this episode because there are in fact flags that he’s not the good guy he presents himself as from his very first introduction. it’s in how he speaks to and treats alina before he has the confirmation of her being the sun summoner, it’s the look on his face when he sees her summon and that slight hint of something darker than just awe when he’s looking at her sunlight. there’s also the way he reacts when alina rejects the idea that she’s this saviour as i mentioned above. it’s subtle, but the look on his face isn’t just the face of a man that isn’t used to being told ‘no’. it’s the look of someone who doesn’t like being told ‘no’ and who isn’t willing to accept it. look at how he reacts afterwards and how he chooses his words. notably, he doesn’t ever really try to reassure her about being hunted or the fact that her world turns upside down. you could say that it’s just a lack of empathy, but notably the closest he comes to comforting her is telling her that she’s not alone because she’s grisha, which admittedly does seem rather heartwarming out of context, until you consider that its his response to her distress at being taken away from her support system and what she knows and that she’ll never stop being hunted now. alina isn’t feeling lonely right now. she’s scared and upset and probably does want the familiarity of people that she knows and cares about, but she’s not the one that brought up loneliness, he is. alina just wants the security of familiarity, but with his response the darkling has isolated her from her friends by telling her that she’s not alone because she’s grisha, the very reason that he’s just taken her away. alina doesn’t know any grisha, she’s had maybe a handful of semi-friendly conversations in total, far from comforting her, this response has made her feel alone. now whether that was intentional or not is up for debate but i just find it very interesting that whilst the darkling will later refer to this conversation out of context when he puts the antlers around her neck, he never really addresses anything she says directly with the exception of the cut, and even that he turns back around on her by asking her if she’d prefer if he’d used a sword. and arguably alina has the right to be upset: a man just tried to kill her for something that she still doesn’t accept about herself and he cut the man into pieces whilst he was still on top of her. anyone would be upset by that! she still had his blood on her face when they stopped. she wanted to know what he’d done and rather than addressing her distress he instead immediately turns it around on her. on the second watch through, this scene after they stop is filled with subtleties that you only pick up on with the context of the later episodes, but that are still clear enough that if you’re really paying attention then you can pick up the warning signs and red flags that the general isn’t what he seems and that indicate there’s something off about the whole thing.

**the idea of being feared as being a good thing could more or less be considered as the core of the generals beliefs and its really interesting that the first time its mentioned onscreen isn’t from the general at all but from who we’ll later come to know as one of his closest grisha. in fact, when we look at the grisha who help him track down alina and collar her and who are present on the skiff, we have david, ivan, zoya, and another heartrender who’s name i don’t know. david isn’t actually on the skiff and iirc he doesn’t look particularly comfortatble about the whole collaring thing even when he’s doing it. but ivan and zoya both express this same belief about being feared and therefore respected. ivan says it explicitly, but there are quite a few shades of it in zoyas actions, especially on the training field and if you look at how others react to her (and if you look at her in ep 2 you’ll notice that she stands apart from most of the other grisha and even though the healer listens to her she doesn’t seem particularly happy about it. zoya’s one of the only grisha that doesn’t laugh at alina in the tent and the fact that she’s on her own when she speaks to mal after the carriage rolls past despite ivan being the only other grisha in uniform we ever see moving around alone rather than in a pair or group seems to say a lot about how other grisha view her). even just the conversation she has with the unnamed heartrender on the skiff right before the general expands the fold has shades of this. he might listen to and respect her somewhat, but he very clearly doesn’t like her very much and isn’t very happy about having to hang about with her up by the mainsail. this heartrender is also even more explicitly on board with the generals plan then ivan is (admittedly ivan is a very silent, stoic character). it’s very clear that the generals belief about fear being the best tool to protect the grisha is shared at the very least by those closest to him. we don’t really see how genya feels about this belief, but it’s clear that this isn’t necessarily a universal belief given fedyor’s words in the carriage in this episode. i don’t really know where i was going this but i just find it fascinating about how the generals/darklings beliefs seem to have been disseminated through the ranks of the second army and that the first time we’re introduced to his beliefs its from someone other than him.

[emmaannaelisabeth]

in today's episode of sailor-wife!kaz i am going to make you stop breathing. ladies and gentlemen and crows and knives and bombs and guns, here is PART 10

inej draws in a sharp breath, looks around, tears in her eyes. the city has gone dark, darker than it has ever been before, and it is not just the night that envelopes her, it’s the fact that she cannot find her boys. she doesn’t understand what she did wrong - she followed their trail, thought she was close, did everything she use to do, but nothing. she finds nothing, nothing but scattered pieces of her broken heart on the dirty rooftops.

where are you, she thinks. where are you kaz? where are you jordie?

she closes her eyes, shakes her head. what if they’re dead? what if she’s alone. what if she wasn’t there when her small boy, her own flesh and blood, her heart, lost the light in his eyes. what if jordie is lying somewhere, cold and stiff and broken and hurt and…

inej snaps her eyes wide open, tears flood her eyes and she stumbles backwards in horror, wrapping her arms around herself. she can’t breathe, her soul quivers in agony and her every cell vibrates in terror. what if the man didn’t want to kill him? what if they took him?

and within the blink of an eye she’s back on the ship, so long ago, and she sees those boys that sat there with her, just as scared as she was. and inej’s legs fail her. she backs into a wall and slides down alongside it.

a sob passes her lips and she lifts her hands to her mouth. they tremble worse than they did that time kaz almost didn’t come home to her at the end of the day. she had just figured out she was pregnant. and she was thrilled, she had never been so happy in her whole life.

but then jesper had banged on the door, and when she’d opened, she’d felt it as if the whole world fell apart, came crashing down on her; as if all the earth’s mountains and hills crumbled, as if all waves in the sea washed over her, as if the sky turned into spears of air that all fell on her, split her skin, cut her heart, nailed her to the reality in front of her.

kaz.

kaz had been red.

his usually moonlight skin was no longer pale and light, it was crimson red. bright, glistening, red. and there was not one part of him that was not broken, that had not been twisted in the wrong angle, that didn’t look like it could never heal.

before her, in matthias’ arms, lay a man barely alive, a man who didn’t know yet that he was going to be a father, a man who might never get to hold his child. and inej had screamed, her legs had given way.

she wasn’t the one to fall, she wasn’t the one to listen to the sound of her heart breaking, she wasn’t a weak soul, and yet there she’d been, falling. jesper had caught her, and she’d sobbed into his jacket. not loud, no, almost no sound at all, just desperate petrified breaths and.

for a moment, she’d seen her whole life in front of her, and in every family picture, there would be a dark haired person missing. for a moment, she’d thought she’d lose him, and that she’d be a widow before they even could celebrate their first anniversary. for a moment, she thought she’d have to raise the small life in her belly without him.

thank the saints, she hadn’t had to. at least not until now.

again, she isn’t a weak soul. but she is not only the wraith, she is also the woman who fell to her knees when kaz almost left her that day. and that woman doesn’t know what to do, she is tired, tired from looking, from searching, tired from swimming and crying and worrying. and that woman can’t do this anymore. at least not alone.

she doesn’t know how long she’s been walking, saints, she barely knows where she’s walking. but her body seems to know the way, so she follows. and then she finds herself at their door.

and once again, just like that time, she falls into jesper’s arms.

“hey, hey”, he says, but inej can barely hear him over the roaring river of tears in her eyes. “inej, talk to me, what’s wrong? shouldn’t you be on your ship?”

she clings to him as if he was the only rock that kept her from sinking, from being dragged down in the deep of the sea. she shakes, gasps just like she did almost ten years ago. somewhere in her shattered mind she can sense jesper tensing - is he calling wylan’s name?

wylan? is he here?

where am i?

where is kaz?

“jordie”, she whimpers and her breathing quickens, she feels as if she can’t breathe, she doesn’t get any air.

jesper’s voice, somewhere, but where? does he speak her name?

waves. waves crash into her, she stumbles to the side, almost falls out of jesper’s embrace. what is this?

where am i?

jesper?

“kaz”, she wheezes. “kaz, kaz, kaz…” is that her voice? she doesn’t recognise it? does she sound like that?

grey eyes. jesper. his face blurs. is he talking?

i can’t breathe.

“where’s my son?” she wheezes. “my son, my son, my son…”

the world spins, the ceiling is the floor, she’s flying, she’s falling, she’s drowning, i can’t breathe.

where is kaz? where is jordie?

where is my son?

she sinks to her knees, she thinks, she can’t really tell what’s happening.

the crimson cobblestones flashes through her mind, back and forth, bounces between the walls of her skull; she sees kaz fall again and again, she sees him shelter jordie with his body again and again.

CRACK CRACK CRACK!

the shots rips through her soul, leaves only thrashed shreds behind. the knowledge that it was kaz’s blood radiates through her body like poison, kills every part of her; with her every panicked heartbeat she thinks about that she might never hear his again, might never get to hold him in her arms again.

tears rush down her cheeks and she stares in front of her, not seeing anything real, only kaz, bloodied and dead, jordie laying by his side.

inej. inej. inej. inej.

is someone saying her name? she frowns.

inej, listen to me.

“kaz?” she whimpers, whines, and fights the arms that hold her.

hes’s there, he walked out of the room, he disappeared right there, right there. “kaz!” she gasps, detangles her arm from the strong ones around her, stretches it out. he was there, he was, she saw him, she saw him…

“kaz!” this time she screams and struggles. “kaz!” her voice is raw, sore, raspy, almost like his. all the sanity she ever owned is gone.

she sobs loudly this time, begs for the arms that hold her to let her go, let her go after him, i need to save him, i need to save him, i need to save him. but all she can see is red hair and blue tear glittering eyes and dark skin and grey…

and a child. and inej completely falls apart. because it’s not her’s.