#android Danny is perfect

[yourlocalcorviddad]

There were quiet whirring noises and soft sounds of smooth metal and rubber moving.

"You made a baby."

"They're a robot that has an advance, hyper intelligent, self learning and processing system with the guidance of human intelligence."

"No no, he's right, we may have accidentally created actual artificially made life."

Dick face palms with both his hands as Danny and Tim start taking with the toddler sized robot. Apparently ectoplasm plus hyper intelligent coding mixed to well.

"Bruce is going to kill me. Alfred is going to cut me off desert." Dick's muttering was ignored.

Quick idea before I collapse into the sweet embrace of sleep.

Danny (running on two hours of sleep for the week) stumbled into Tim's apartment by accident. He looks around at the case files strewn about and the mountains of empty red bull cans, ramen cups, and coffee mugs before turning to Tim who's mid sip hunched over his computer.

Danny: Damn bitch, you live like this?

Danny: *proceeds to collapse of exhaustion*

Tim who just got shamed by some rando in his own home and is highly insulted: ...wtf

[82799]

The Apocalypses

This is an archive of an essay I wrote on my substack in October 2023.

This month’s newsletter/essay collects my thoughts on the “apocalypse” as dehumanization; it is the ethos of my October group show, Offworlds, with YveYANG Gallery and my painting Beastwoman.

Introduction to The End

The “apocalypse” is an idea coveted and fantasized since humans became humans, stepping out of the primordial water from tiktaalik to monkey to man. Or something like that.

The end of the world has happened over and over again. Every day there is a new catastrophe, and every epoch is defined by the atrocities that have birthed and ended it. Take, for example, the dinosaurs— how much modern humanity wonders about the glint of a scaled beast’s eyes as it looks upon a bright white light, a harbinger of certain doom. Do you think a dinosaur has a sense that it will die? That its lineage will not survive the coming eons? Or does the beast stare at the comet in pure, sublime… unknowingness? These are questions humanity projects onto the beasts because we naturally empathize with death, with fossils, and with bones.

(above): The meteor landed in the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico over 66 million years ago. This rendition depicts its size against downtown Manhattan.

Another bright white light is featured in another apocalypse, that being the Christian Apocalypse— the bright glow of angels falling from the sky and the cacophony of trumpets heralded the arrival of end times. These details of the Book of Revelations are extremely fascinating, especially if you delve into the story’s great symbolism. For Ancient Christians, the Apocalypse represented the death and oppression of Christianity during the reign of the cruel Emperor Nero; for example, Biblical scholars argue that the Mark of the Beast (666) is actually a code that could be derived through gematria (the system of assigning numerical values to letters). By converting Nero’s name into numbers and then into a sum, it would create the number “666”. This, paired with the Revelations 13:17:

that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark or the name of the beast or the number of his name.

In conclusion, the “end of the world” concerns the loss of Humanity and the transformation of the human into the non-human. Some tropes include humans becoming machines, humans being replaced by beasts, or conversely, humans without an Earth or home. This is a perfect segue into discussing my painting Beastwoman.

(above): One of my favorite video games, NieR: Automata, is set in a deeply melancholic, far-future post-apocalyptic world where android women fight toy-like machines to preserve the leftovers of humanity. See below for the overworld music for the first area, “City Ruins.”

Offworlds

Beastwoman is currently on view (through December 2, 2023) at YveYANG Gallery, in Offworlds which is an exhibition exploring the apocalypse from an Asian femme perspective. I highly recommend clicking on the hyperlink to read the press release, as well as acknowledging all the amazing Asian women artists who have worked on this show. 

(above): Offworlds is curated by Danni Shen. Beastwoman, oil on canvas, 30” x 40”, 2023.

In creating Beastwoman, I was mainly concerned with the apocalypse as the loss of humanity. Not in a great cataclysmic event, but rather in the appearance of the non-human; I am interested in the “in-between” of man and beast. This notion is deeply political, particularly in the United States.

For white supremacists, the end of the world may be when the “human” (the civilized cis-het white person) becomes the “beast” (the savage non-white and/or queer person). This apocalypse is at the very core of the Great Replacement theory, a fascist belief that miscegenation would cause the white race to be bred out. It is an ideological offspring of the one-drop rule and various scientific racism and eugenicist movements, which historically classified black, indigenous, Asian, and other non-"white” people as animals in a separate genus from the White man. I write this in quotes because it is important to note that white supremacy is a self-defeating, separatist concept; who claims “whiteness” is ever-changing, as even Benjamin Franklin once described Germans as “too swarthy” to immigrate to the United States.

In Beastwoman, I wanted to explore this “in-between.” In my terminally online brain, a non-human form regularly idolized and adored is the “cat girl,” a trope in anime where cute girls spawn cat ears and tails and meow compulsively. They are typically half-girl/half-cat, but maintain the submissiveness and femininity that makes them heavily fetishized in some internet subcultures (which, by extension, often goes hand-in-hand with a fetish for Asian women).

Left: Wikipe-tan, Wikipedia's personification, as a cat girl; Right: A cosplay photo of Ichigo from the anime Tokyo Mew Mew

The reimagining of the cat girl, a soulless, cutesy vessel that has been coopted and sexualized (as many earlier cat girl media being aimed at young girls) for the pleasure of men, into a “beastwoman” is amusing. If she (no longer half-girl/half-cat, but rather half-woman/half-beast) were to embrace her status as an independent Asian woman, then she would be a herald of an apocalypse for the white supremacist. She is no longer submissively and pleasantly vacant, but rather violent, naked, cannibalistic, and carnal. She has ascended from the fetishistic label of a mere “cat-girl,” into claiming agency for her own self— an animalistic and powerful state of a “beastwoman”.

Absurd, but so is the existence of being an Asian woman… so are the threads that hail doomsday. Beastwoman, the name itself, refers to the history of scientific racism, as Asians and other people of color were classified as beastly and inferior; instead of rejecting its inhuman racist descriptor, Beastwoman leans into it and empowers herself through it. If the submissive Asian woman liberated herself to become the bastion of true power, would the world end? Would we be in hell?

Detail and installation shots.

Acknowledgment

Finally, this statement is regarding the privilege the West (and by extension, myself) has in discussing the apocalypse. For many people, countless real tragedies permeate their land and their children. While some may be able to leave the apocalypse a thing of fantasy or intellectual extrapolation, many do not. It is incredibly important to acknowledge that the crux of the apocalypse (extinction, genocide, loss of land) is a brutal reality. The art we make regarding disaster should be sensitive to these various histories, especially in colonized people and lands. I implore all creators and patrons to be keen on this topic.

[enkisstories]

Morning in the Phillips household, with sandwiches lovingly made by the household android.

Emma: "Where's Daniel?"

John: "Err..."

Emma: "Oh, I see! He's at the workshop to get a new app installed!"

Caroline: "What app would be so complex that Daniel would need to go to the workshop to get it working?"

John: "Err..." *coughs* "It's not the app. More like the, uh, additional equipment required. You see, I got Danny a part time job."

At the same time in Grosse Pointe, where John grew up... Specifically at the Equestrian Center...

Daniel: "You know, Plum, sometimes I cannot help but wonder about our John. Don't tell him I said that, okay? I still love him. It's just... there’s days I wish I was able to tell him NO." (pause) “Sorry. That sounded as if I rejected you.”

Caroline: "You know, John, sometimes I have to wonder..."

John: "Perfect, isn't it? Daniel is so much lighter than a human of the same build, and I swear his reflexes have improved since he plays that online game with Emma. He's the perfect jockey!"

(And with that we finally have Daniel's weight established. It's 45-55 kg.)

[nfcomics]

DCS HOW TO LOSE A GUY GARDNER IN 10 DAYS no.1 (one shot) • cover art • Amanda Conner [Feb 2024]

Romance is rarely a simple affair—love is almost always followed by some sort of conflict. Whether you're Plastic Man twisting yourself into knots trying to please someone, or the Flash traveling back in time to make a catastrophic 50 first dates perfect, or even a lonely robot who just can't seem to find love unless it's mail from a computer screen, like Red Tornado, love actually is...a pain in the 27 dresses. So in the grand tradition of these dating conundrums a la rom-coms of the '90s and '00s, we are proud to present eight new stories about love and trying to find it in this zany world.

💝

Guy Gardner in “How to Lose a Guy Gardner in 10 Days” by Kenny Porter and Nick Robles

Constantine in “Never Been Kissed” by Alex Galer and Derek Charm

Red Tornado in “Robots are Red, Androids are Blue” by Aaron J. Waltke and Ivan Shavrin

Plastic Man in “Love’s a Stretch” by Dennis Hopeless and Baldemar Rivas

Booster Gold in “Golden Pairs” by Danny Lore, Ted Brandt & Ro Stein

Wonder Woman in “Say Yes to the Mess” by Brendan Hay and ML Sanapo

The Flash in “Too Many Dates” by Marguerite Sauvage

Nightwing and Batgirl in “Date Night” by George Mann and Leonardo Rodrigues

💝

Written by Marguerite Sauvage, Dennis Hopeless, Aaron Waltke, Brendan Hay, George Mann, Danny Lore, Alex Galer, and Others.

Art by Marguerite Sauvage, Ivan Shavrin, M.l. Sanapo, Baldemar Rivas, Ted Brandt & Ro Stein, Leonardo Rodrigues, and Others.

(W) Various (A) Various (CA) Amanda Conner

[sakuraswordly]

Gilgamesh: Oh, you drew a new picture?

Peter: This is original from Maru and Moro again? Why do I feel like it's not?

Punch: Because this report didn't direct to Maru and Moro but from my story and from Mokona.

Gilgamesh: About Syaoran, Peter and Danny, who choice to save one precious to save many lives.

Punch: Include Sonic.....even Sonic....

Note(Source): Syaoran and Peter are different from Punch and Sonic. Syaoran and Peter share the same existence and the same hearts, but you still can tell the difference between them. But Punch and Sonic are the same as I wrote in Some things are beautiful because they cannot be obtained 1(Tsofph Concept ).

*Flashback*

Sonic: Since I was born....as my blood or my kind..... it had been nothing but a curse before that golden king and I got a curse of death. If I ever started to forget, something would remind me of what I was, and bring me crashing back down to the mission that god Tsubasa gave to us.

Tsofph Season 11(Chapter2 Shadow Path)

Punch: Syaoran.....you did know, right? Sonic's not a living being unlike any others. He's very dangerous.....just like that doctor told you long ago. Sonic's just a container. Sonic awoke for the first time, he had lived as a doll until he began to create his personality by himself and desired to live. No more than emptiness, the nothingness. Just like me and Mr Gilgamesh used to be. We.....three of us were different in the past. You could say we're very much like Enkidu in the past. We're extremely dangerous to both light and darkness.

Syaoran: What are you trying to say?

Punch: Sonic at first didn't have our memories....our dreams and even his own heart. Sonic knew from his heart that he never belonged to this world even us. If you want Sonic, Sonic need to be initialized again.

Syaoran: What.....?

Punch: If you want Sonic to live a life like a normal being, he has no choice but to initiate again. If Sonic does that, Sonic won't be himself anymore.

Syaoran: Because of this mission.....your mission...make Sonic's case to exist.....so Sonic be able to move even his feelings because......

Punch: Both me and Mr Gilgamesh exist.....

Syaoran: ...................!!

Punch: Sonic can't be his own without us. If something not human, animals, aliens or lives that allow to exist including an android and robot, then it would be considered sentient "alive" just like a normal being. If we are the same as those, it would be wrong to call Love. Even knowing that.... do you still love my brother, Sonic? Despite already hearing from me when I betrayed your friends and your trust....I did tell you to kill Sonic too.

Syaoran: I can't.

Punch: So you won't give all your love for him?

Syaoran: You three are wrong.....that's right.....it's natural to protect the ones you love because you love your one precious that's a part of your life. Even though I've accepted my feelings and I won't lie about my feelings even though King Gilgamesh and Sonic are the same but my feelings won't change....I love Sonic so much that's why I can't accept him to be initialized. He doesn't need to be perfect to be alive in this world. Me too, I'm also not perfect but that's doesn't mean some creatures that not allowed to exist to not be able to call life anymore, that's false!

Punch: Even me, Sonic and Mr Gilgamesh didn't have a right to call being alive?

Syaoran: Yes!

Punch: Even though our hearts and souls are the only cases to exist?

Syaoran: That's not true! Even though you don't exist but I, Peter-san and Danny have all of your beats inside of us! If Sonic looks happy, I am happy. If Sonic looks sad, then I'm sad. Even if his expression isn't real because he didn't understand, I don't care. Even if he is just a program-like robot, I don't care. I didn't fall in love with him because I wanted to give him my love, unlike couples, friends and family…but I won't stop loving him because we couldn't go all the way. I want to make love to him because I love him. I want Sonic to feel that he's alive!

Punch: You gave the same answer, the same meaning as both Peter and Danny.....Before we were just friends, after we're more than friends.....

Peter: If one day is abrupt, maybe I will prepare for you to hate me. For you want to protect someone who is most precious to you. To not regret the path you chose to take. That's how I told Syaoran a very long time ago.....I'm glad he made the same choice as me.

.

Syaoran: Why are you so nice to me? Why do you choose to protect me beside me, King Gilgamesh?

Gilgamesh: Because of your decision, I am alive today. Because choose me against the world, you choose me. You made the same decision just like many lives in the fake world and my people of Uruk.

Syaoran: ................................!!

*End of Flashback*

Punch: Sonic begins to learn more about love than he initially learned from Amy and then doesn't understand. And the person who made Sonic understand love and begin to feel love for someone like a living creature or human being from the beginning when he didn't have any is Syaoran.

Gilgamesh: Both you and Enkidu made the same choice to protect me.

Peter: That's right.

Gilgamesh: Remember what I said, right? If I died like Enkidu, I can go back to Punch Whalen's body. If Punch is killed, he/she will come to stay in my body. We are the only proof that god of the nothingness still exists.

Peter: But Sonic isn't.....

Gilgamesh: As long as neither I nor Punch vanishes, Sonic can live freely by his own free will in this world. And can have all Syaoran's love for him.

Peter: If I become greedy......do you think is the right thing to feel want to protect everyone by our own selfishness.....because of love....because of caring.....we chose to not kill one precious to save many lives. We choice to save one precious to save many lives.

Hint The love That Peter feels(Including Syaoran and Danny too) for Punch and Gilgamesh is the same love as Mikiya Kokutou for Shiki Ryougi. And this is why Peter never left Punch and Gilgamesh alone, he stayed right by her so "she "Punch" wouldn’t feel alone.

Tsofph spoiler below

Peter: It's not fair, I don't care what anybody says! I won't let you die or vanish in front of me again! You can't fight this! We'll fight until the end together. Isn't that what you said to me before?!

Gilgamesh: Even if it should mean....that I'll be the end of everything else too?! What do you expect me to do?! There is no other way!

Peter: But there still was, right?

[slpublicity]

SCREAMBOX February Streaming Line-Up Includes HERE FOR BLOOD, 3-HEADED SHARK ATTACK, EVERYBODY DIES BY THE END

SCREAMBOX has revealed the new films that are joining the horror streaming service in February, including Here for Blood, 3-Headed Shark Attack, Waking Nightmare, and Everybody Dies by the End.

More heads means more dead when 3-Headed Shark Attack swims onto SCREAMBOX on February 2. From the producers of Sharknado, the creature feature stars horror icon Danny Trejo, Daytime Emmy winner Karrueche Tran, and WWE Hall of Famer Rob Van Dam.

The third and final season of The Dead Hour joins the previous two seasons on SCREAMBOX February 2. A mysterious late-night radio host delves into a different horrifying tale in each of the horror anthology's 12 binge-worthy episodes.

SCREAMBOX Original wrestling-fueled horror-comedy Here for Blood invades select theaters and SCREAMBOX on February 9. Shawn Roberts (Resident Evil franchise) stars in the gory throwback to video store staples of the ‘80s and '90s alongside the voice of Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider.

Discover how far you'd go for the ones you love when Waking Nightmare hits SCREAMBOX on February 9. '80s icons Diane Franklin (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure), David Naughton (An American Werewolf in London), and Jamison Newlander (The Lost Boys) star in the psychological thriller.

Found footage fans have three offerings to look forward to this month: Everybody Dies by the End, a mockumentary about a cult director's deadly final movie; Bodom, in which a pair of amateur journalists investigate Finland's notorious Lake Bodom murders; and Perfect Horror, which follows a film production in one of China's most haunted locations.

Other February highlights include: queer serial killer thriller LGBT: Lethal Gay Butcher of Terror; '70s-set giallo homage Discopath; heavy metal horror Death Metal; backwoods cannibal horror Dismal; provocative Japanese thriller Frantic; UK paranormal investigation series Lost Souls; extra cheesy indie anthology Creepy Tales of Pizza and Gore; and shot-on-video satire Psycho Paul's Film Festival.

Start screaming now with SCREAMBOX on iOS, Android, Apple TV, Prime Video, Roku, YouTube TV, Samsung, Comcast, Cox, and Screambox.com.

[smelt-starverse]

7/?

Starscream vs Metal Face (Transformers vs Xenoblade)

Sentinel Prime vs Oscar the Sharkslayer (Transformers ONE vs Shark Tale)

Alexandrite vs Sym-Bionic Titan (Steven Universe vs Sym-Bionic Titan)

Norman Osborn vs David Xanatos (Marvel Comics vs Gargoyles)

Petey Piranha vs Whispy Woods (Super Mario vs Kirby)

Roxas vs Starkiller (Kingdom Hearts vs Star Wars)

Catra vs Sasha (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power vs Amphibia)

Meta Knight vs Vergil (Super Smash Bros. Brawl vs Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3)

Abridged Trunks vs Arzette (Dragon Ball Z Abridged vs Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore)

Kira vs Adachi (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure vs Persona)

Sonic & Mega Man vs Ben 10 & Danny Phantom (Archie Comics vs 5 Years Later)

Albedo vs Dr. Starline (Ben 10 vs Sonic the Hedgehog)

Goku vs Optimus Prime (Dragon Ball Xenoverse vs Transformers: Cybertron)

Richter Belmont vs Terra (Castlevania vs Kingdom Hearts)

The Maker vs Shockwave (Ultimate Marvel Comics vs IDW Transformers)

Azula vs Tai Lung (Avatar: The Last Airbender vs Kung Fu Panda)

Smash 4 Bayonetta vs Lab Coat Android 21 (Super Smash Bros. For Wii U vs Dragon Ball FighterZ)

Sportacus vs Pepsiman (LazyTown vs PepsiCo.)

Terry Crews vs Mr. Clean (Old Spice vs Mr. Clean)

Fumigator vs Dogcopter (Amphibia vs Steven Universe)

Hellboy vs Nero (Hellboy vs Devil May Cry)

Trunks vs Crono (Dragon Ball vs Chrono Trigger)

Perfect Cell vs Omega (Dragon Ball Z vs Mega Man Zero)

Marcy Wu vs Luz Noceda (Amphibia vs The Owl House)

Lapis Lazuli vs Rei Ayanami (Steven Universe vs Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Star and Stripe vs The Guy (My Hero Academia vs Spy Kids)

The Juggernaut vs Overlord (Marvel Comics vs Transformers)

My DEATH BATTLE! Thumbnail Master Thread

Over the years, I've made a ton of Death Battle thumbnails, and I figured it would probably be good to archive those on somewhere that isn't Discord for posterity's sake. So... here are all of those!

Agent 3 vs Numbuh 1 (Splatoon vs Codename: Kids Next Door)

Maruki vs I-No (Persona vs Guilty Gear)

Steve vs The Terrarian (Minecraft vs Terraria)

Rex Salazar vs Maxwell McGrath (Generator Rex vs Max Steel)

V1 vs Whirl (ULTRAKILL vs IDW Transformers)

The Spot vs Jobu Tupaki (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse vs Everything Everywhere All At Once)

Boros vs Battle Beast (One Punch Man vs Invincible)

Composite Goku vs Composite Ryu (All Official Dragon Ball Media vs All Official Street Fighter Media)

Hank Hill vs Bob Belcher (King of the Hill vs Bob's Burgers)

Percy Jackson vs Aqualad (Percy Jackson vs Young Justice)

Frieza vs Megatron (Dragon Ball vs Transformers) Honestly, I'm not a fan of this matchup, but the episode was coming out at the time so I figured I might as well give it a shot

The Fallen vs Ultraman Belial (Transformers vs Ultraman)

03 Donatello vs Marcy Wu (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003) vs Amphibia)

Black Manta vs Depth Charge (DC vs Beast Wars Transformers)

Finn & Jake vs Mordecai & Rigby (Adventure Time vs Regular Show)

Metal Sonic vs Scourge (Sonic the Hedgehog vs Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2001))

Superman vs Optimus Prime (DC vs Transformers)

Donald Duck vs Daffy Duck (Disney vs Looney Tunes)

Doopliss vs Rumplestiltskin (Paper Mario vs Shrek)

Nemesis vs Subject Delta (Resident Evil vs Bioshock)

Radiant Black vs StarHammer (The MassiveVerse vs StarTeamGO!)

Xigbar vs Sideways (Kingdom Hearts vs Transformers)

Destoroyah vs Iris (Godzilla vs Gamera)

JP vs Rugal (Street Fighter vs King of Fighters)

[spockvarietyhour]

[stealingyourbones]

Short DPXDC Prompts #166

Danny desperately needs to find a host to possess to hide in their subconscious until he’s fully recovered.

He spots a strangely outfitted android and doesn’t think much of it besides “fuck yeah this is perfect!” Before possessing the machine.

Only issue: Danny just possessed an Amazo and the League are actively hunting it. This won’t end well.

[the-void-writes]

Two characters go on a picnic, get lost, arrive 30 minutes late, hike to the perfect spot and get caught in the rain. But it's ok because they're together.

Hey, thank you for the prompt! I was excited to work on this one because it fit Ash and Dan perfectly 😁

Tagging @bloodlessheirbyjacques because this is “Ash” Will, the amnesiac version of him in Bluebrook before he gets to Paradise. Dante gets to meet him as Ash first, so this is just what his life is like before then. I don’t know, I’m rambling 🤣 sorry

“What’s that one?”

Dan pointed excitedly at a cluster of large blue flowers, spiraling upwards from the ground. It was clearly mutated by radiation, Ash could tell, but he knew the cone-shape and color well, from a memory he hadn’t been able to decipher.

“Campanula rotundifolia,” Ash said. “Bluebells.”

“Bluebells…” Dan’s eyes flickered as he went through the new database Miles had installed after his repairs. “Symbol of humility, gratitude, and everlasting love.”

Ash smiled. “You got it. That’s why I love them so much.”

Dan traced his plastic finger over the petals, smiled to himself, and picked one of the smaller flowers to give to Ash.

“It suits you,” he said.

“Danny,” Ash whined as he pulled his hat over his eyes.

Dan’s voice box crackled as he laughed. It needed to be replaced soon, but Ash found the sound quite comforting. With the flower and picnic basket in hand, he led Dan up a large hill towards their special spot. The climb was much sturdier this time, barely any rocks to climb over. Ash didn’t understand why until Dan grabbed his shoulder.

“Is this the right way?”

His pulse quickened. No, Ash thought, please not this. I can’t forget this. Dan felt him shiver under his hand.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can retrace our steps, or I can call Miles—”

“That’s not the problem, Danny.” He pulled his hair. “I’m getting worse. I won’t remember how to get home, at this rate.”

Dan pulled him into his shoulder and silently waited for him to calm down. They both knew his memory problems would be troublesome for their relationship, especially if Miles and Page couldn’t fix whatever had damaged his brain. Ash didn’t want to forget Dan, he couldn’t stand the idea of it. Without that friendly, curious android, he had nothing left in his life.

“Here,” Dan said, “let’s just find a place to sit and eat.”

Ash let him set up their place under a tree, with a decent view of the lake on the horizon. It was beautiful, aside from the dark clouds emerging from the south. Dan sucked the electricity out of some batteries, while Ash quietly snacked on a piece of bread. Despite not having lungs, Dan let out a sigh.

“Please,” he said, “don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I just don’t get why you stick around.”

Dan squeezed his hand. “Because you’re kind, and you’re patient with me. I could listen to you talk about plants forever.”

“Seriously?”

“Of course, Ashie. You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

“Doctor Beaumont is a vampire.”

“Well, I’m not in love with Doctor Beaumont.”

Ash’s eyes sparkled. “You… love me?”

Dan smiled. “Absolutely.”

“Danny, I—”

Something rumbled in the distance, and Ash felt the first drop of rain on his hand.

“Shit!” Dan yelled.

He hadn’t dressed with rain in mind. Miles had left parts of the circuitry in his head exposed, so his system would fry like salmon if he got wet. That’s why Ash always brought his hooded jacket for him. He swooped in and bundled the android up, letting the rain soak his golden hair. Dan couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“What’s wrong?” Ash asked.

“Forgetful or not, you’re the sweetest guy in the world.”

Ash smiled as the color rose in his cheeks. “I love you, Danny.”

Dan brought him down for a kiss, cold against warm, plastic against flesh. No storm or forgotten trail could ruin this moment for them. All that truly mattered, all that would continue to matter, was how happy they made each other. As long as Ash could remain selfless and patient, then he and Dan would be just fine.

[an-actual-angel]

Pairing: Connor (RK800) x Reader, Collin (RK800-60) x Reader, Richard (RK900) x Reader

Summary: The year was 2082. 44 Years after the android revolution. Things have turned south for humanity. Androids now rule the world, leaving humans to be considered as mere animals. While some Androids still have a general disdain for humanity some have taken to the idea of keeping them as “family pets.” You, born in captivity, specifically bred to be the perfect pet happen to get adopted by the RK brothers.

(If anyone wants to be added to the tag list, either dm or reply to this post <3)

Previous Chapter | AO3 | Next Chapter

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_____________________

Chapter 36 -  Running away is easy, Its the leaving that's hard

It had almost been two weeks since you last saw Connor and Collin. It had been tough, to say the least, you missed them like crazy. You would constantly check your phone for messages that would never come. Perhaps it didn’t take them long at all to forget about you. You couldn’t let yourself get too upset about it though, this was your decision. Maybe it was easier for them to keep their distance. It would probably work out better this way in the end.

Danny was right when he said that life in the settlement wasn't going to be glamorous, it was hard work, something you weren’t used to, coming from living cushy in a penthouse. You mostly helped out with farming the land and tending to the chickens, feeding them, cleaning out their coop, collecting eggs, etc. You also got stuck with the job of babysitting some kids from time to time. It was good to keep busy though, to keep your mind away from androids.

When you had free time, you spent it mostly with Emily, catching up, attempting to look after her, although insisted she didn’t need the fuss.

You had been staying in Emily’s shack, it was just you her and her cat Pepper, but you made a good little family. You wondered whatever happened to the father of Emily’s child, she didn’t want to talk about him too much, whoever he was. She’d just say he was away.

You didn’t want to push her but your overbearing curiosity would not sit at peace. Some other ladies around the settlement had told you he had been taken by androids.

What Emily did tell you about the child’s father was that his name was James and he was the one that saved her from the adoption centre. Well, he’d been one of the humans in the midst of the one of the riots in the city who also happened to help some of the humans escape the centre.

“Took down two androids right in front of my eyes, that how I knew he was the one.” She laughed.  

“He took down two androids? On his own?” You spluttered out, not believing her.

“Yeah, with one of these,” Emily smirked handing you over a baton.

Taking it in your hand you examine it, slightly confused until you see a button near the bottom. “Is this one of the electric ones the cops use?”

“Yep, can take out an android with a few quick buzzes.” She points her chin at you and smiles. “That’s my man, always got the good weapons.”

“I’m quite surprised you settled on a man honestly.” You smirked, “Last time I saw you, you were giving puppy dog eyes to Olivia.” You cock your head to the side, raising your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I did have a thing for her, until she got adopted and you know. Kinda couldn’t see her anymore.”

“Liv got adopted?”

“Yeah.” Emily shrugged plainly and looked away.

“I’m sorry Emily.” You reach out your hand to touch hers.

“Why are you sorry?” She shakes her head, pulling her hand away from yours to rest on her baby bump.

“It just must have been lonely for you, without me and Liv.” You bite at the broken skin on your bottom lip.

“Yeah it was a bit, but then I met James.” She smiled a little but it faded fast. “He’ll come back you know.” She said quickly, more telling it as a way to convince herself, rather than you.

You nod back to her, not wanting to hurt your friend. “Of course Emily.”

Her hand wipes at her eye a little. “Best be getting to bed.” She stands to her feet. “You should as well” she smiles placing her hand on your shoulder.

“That’s probably a good idea.” You nod. “Big day tomorrow.”

___

You woke to the sun shining through the thin material of your makeshift curtain, with a rub of your eyes and a quick stretch you were up to start your day. Making breakfast for yourself and Emily was first on the list and then feeding Emily’s cat Pepper was second. The next few hours would be spent outside on the farm tending to some of the plants and vegetables, you would do this until lunchtime when you would have a quick bite to eat and then on to the ‘town’ meeting, a quick impromptu one that had been called by Danny.

They had received word from another settlement, one not too far from them that they would aid them in their next city raid.

“City raid?” You whispered to Emily, not understanding what he had meant.

“Yeah, we’d been planning this one for a while.” She whispers back quickly. “It’s how we get more weapons, people, stuff like that.”

“Does Connor know you guys have been doing this?” You ask.

“No. but he doesn’t need to know.” She shrugs. “We send our doughboys out with masks anyway.”

“Doughboys?” You asked even more confused than before.

“Yeah, our fighters.” She snaps as she furrows her brows. “Don’t you listen?” realising how quick she was with you she apologises “Sorry, I forgot that you’re still new around here. We call our ‘recruits’” she says with parenthesis. “Doughboys, and they get shit done. I was one before, well before y’know.” She rubs her bump.

“Never pegged you as a fighter.”

“Well, I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me then.” She laughs.

“Ladies,” Danny calls Emily and your attention back to him.

“This time it’s going to be the big one.” Danny looks around at everyone’s faces. “There are people from other settlements in the city as we speak. It’s almost our time to join them. Three days. Three more days!” His weathered hand hits the table he was standing in front of. “And we're getting our boys back.”

You notice Emily nod to Danny, her lip wobbles as she turns to you.

“James.” she half-smiles half whimpers as her hand grabs yours.

You give her hand a tight squeeze and whisper a silent prayer that they will indeed find him alive and well.

As the day goes on most of the camp seems in a mixture of excitement and fear about the upcoming raid.

The ‘Doughboys’ as Emily called them, coordinating their plan of attack, parents ensuring their children that everything will work out, farmers, bakers, and medics in a tizzy to prepare the needed supplies.

As the evening settles in you begin to worry for Emily, what if they can’t find James? what if he’s not even alive?

Poor Emily has been through so much. She doesn’t deserve any more grief.

A part of you wants to tell her to not get her hopes up but saying that would be cruel. You just nod along and try to keep her comfortable. After dinner Emily ends up falling asleep on the recliner chair she had been sitting on. As you wrap a blanket over her shoulders you realise that you're almost out of firewood and the fire its self is beginning to dwindle down.

Grabbing one of Emily’s cloaks from a hanger, you drape it over your shoulders before heading out on your quest to seek out more wood.

Wooden logs were usually kept in an area just west of the settlement, it was a little walk through the trees but not too far. You usually preferred going out when it was brighter. The light from your phone only made the place look creepier. The quietness of the area didn’t help either, if it wasn’t for the noises made by nearby animals the place would be downright eerie. At least you could still see the warm glow of the settlement in the distance through the trees.  

You knelt down on dry dirt to pick up some of the logs from the bottom of the pile to put in the wicker basket that you had brought with you. After you make your selection you stand back to your feet and dust off the dirt of your clothes. Just as you are about to reach down for your basket again you are abruptly stopped by a large hand being placed over your mouth as well as an arm wrapping around your front holding both your arms in place so that you cannot struggle from the grasp. You try to wrestle your way out of the grasp in a fit of fear but a familiar voice sends you into shock.

“Please calm down.”

Is that?

Your body is frozen.

“I only grabbed you like this in case you screamed. Sorry, it was a bit abrupt, I know.”

Your heart begins to thump harder in your chest but this time not from fear.

“When I let go, please don’t scream.” The voice pleads.

You manage to nod your head, still, in your state of shock, the hands and arm loosen from you and you try to steady yourself on your feet before turning around.

You take a deep breath as you slowly move on your feet towards the person whose grip you had just been in.

“Richard.” You exhale deeply.

His tongue wets his lip before he attempts to speak, however, you cut him off.

“What are you doing here!? If anyone sees you!” You shout in a whisper at him.

“Look, I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “I was just lucky that you happened to be out here so I didn't have to go in there.” He gestures his head towards the settlement.

“Don’t dare step foot in there.” Your eyes widen as if he’s gone mad.

“I won’t, I won’t… If you come back.”

“What? No.” You shake your head.

“No?”

“I can’t Richard. I belong here.”

“Y/N, Look at this place. It’s disgusting.” He shakes his head as he scans his eyes across the poorly put together ‘town’. “Surviving on scraps, like an animal. You have a nice home, come back.” He reaches out to hold your hands.

You lift your brows to look up at him, your mouth becoming straight as you shake your head and slowly pull your hands away.

“I can’t, I just can’t.” You pick your basket off the ground and turn to walk away from the android.

“I’ll give you anything!” He shouts out. You turn your head to him.

“I’ll do anything.” He moves towards you again. “Just say the word. Please.”

He reaches his hand towards yours once more, his other caressing your cheek.

“I’ll even help with the rebellion.” He whispers.

“The rebellion?” You look up at him, your face plagued with even more confusion.

“Whatever it is the humans are planning. I can help, I can be of use just, please come back.” He begs his forehead now resting against yours.

“Wha- I don't understand. Why?” You whisper to him, closing your eyes as you press your forehead back against his.

“Because I love you.”

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 37 -  Alrighty Aphrodite

You had entered the settlement on your own again. Going back to your shack, you had to explain the situation to Emily.

“If he can get James back.” She stopped for a minute to steady her breath. “Then I’m on board.”

After a quick hug and farewell, you had a bag packed and you were off.

“I’ll be back.” You said once more to Emily before leaving.

“I know.” She nods.

Richard had been waiting for you just outside the gateway, you had told him to wait there so he wouldn’t spook the residents.

“I can carry that” Richard insist, taking your bag from your hands, before you could say anything he had it thrown over his shoulder. You bite at your lips not really knowing what to say but walking through the forested area with him in silence.

“It’s not too far of a walk to the car,” He said. “I did try to park as close as I could.”

You just nod and continue to walk. After another while of insufferable silence, you finally speak up to him.

“So, is it true?” You turn towards the Android. “Do you really love me?”

His eyes fall to the ground for a moment as he continues on. “Yes.” He fell quiet again for a moment before continuing on. “I think I first began to realise when Collin got in that accident. You stayed with him.” He let out an artificial sigh. “I started to think about if something had happened to you and-” He shrugged.

“It took me a long time to come to grips with my feelings as you could probably tell. I never experience this type of emotion before.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You tilt your head attempting to make eye contact, his gaze still avoiding yours as he trudged forward.

“I was an idiot. A scared fool.”

“You are an idiot.” You stop for a minute causing Richard to stop as well, he moves closer to you, to see if you are alright. Taking him by surprise you lean up to press a kiss to his cheek. Richard hums for a second moving away slowly, he looks into your eyes before he tries to kiss your lips.

You however hold your hand out and say “I can't do that, I have boyfriends.” Before walking on.

“Yeah, ones that left you behind.” Richard sighs moving again to walk beside you.

“They did that to protect me.”

“Connor in his twisted reasoning. He probably did it more to protect himself. He is selfish. You have no idea what your leaving has done to Collin.” Richard grumbles.

“So you’re guilt-tripping me now?” You roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying.” Richard grunts, re-adjusting your bag against his back. “Why’d you not bring your suitcase?”

“This is just temporary.” You shrug.

“I see.”

“How’s Connor doing?” You change the subject before Richard tries to convince you to stay forever.

“He’s stressed about all of the attacks that have been happening in the city and he’s stressed because Collins current mental stability is not too fun. I think it would cheer him up to see you.”

“Yeah and he might murder you for bringing me.” You quip back.

“True. I guess we’ll just have to see.” He retorts as you notice Richard’s car parked in the distance. He did park quite close. Something Connor would also be pissed about.

“How did you find me anyway?” You ask the question that’s been on your mind since you first saw him.

“I’m afraid the truth of the matter might unsettle you a little.” He explains as his car beeps at his arrival.

“Go on.” You encourage him. “You can’t stop now.”

“I am one of the most advanced androids in existence.” He explains whilst throwing your bag in the back of his car. He then opens the passenger side door for you to get in. When you do he leans down to your ear to whisper, “I’m everywhere.” And with that, he closes the door.

You sit for a moment in contemplation as he gets into his side of the car to sit down. As he puts his seat belt on you turn to him with confusion on your face. “Did you hack my phone?”

Richard rolls his eyes as he starts up the car. “I was able to tap into the journey history of Connor's vehicle. I knew he was behind all of this.” He begins to explain as his own car sets out.

“When I got to the location of the factory I was able to scan for signs of nearby technology. Your settlement stood out like a beacon. Didn’t take too long for me to tap into some phones that were being used yes, and then I saw you.”

“Can other androids do all that?”

“Not a lot can. And definitely not to the extent that I can. As I say, I’m everywhere. Any piece of technology, I can tap into if I desire so.” Richard explains proudly.

“So, do you ever use it to spy on people?”

“Only if necessary.”

“You ever watch people naked?” You smirk a little.

Richard’s brows furrow as he blushes slightly. “No, I would not do that.”

You burst out in laughter at his defensiveness. “I’m just teasing.”

Richard adjusts his shirt collar in discomfort. “Indeed.” He replies dryly.

You smile and rest your head against the back of the seat.

“You know you can lie in the back if you want, it’s a long drive and you could do with some sleep.”

You swivel your seat around to look at the back seat, assessing it. Swapping your seat with your bag that had been put in the back and lay down on the cool leather.

“You don’t have any blankets do you?” You ask Richard as you attempt to find some level of comfort on the cold seat.

“No, sorry. I can turn the heat up if you like?”

“hmmpf.” You think for a minute. “Isn’t this car self-driving?”

“Yes,” Richard replies, not really sure at what you’re getting at.

“Why don’t you just put in the destination and then come back here and lie with me?”

His LED begins flashing red. “I think Connor would definitely try and kill me if we sleep with each other again.” Richard stammers.

“I wasn’t suggesting we have sex, oh my god!” You smack your hand over your mouth to not laugh.

Richard's face began to turn in cringe, “oh I just thought-”

“I meant so we could cuddle.” You explain, smirk still present on your face.

“Do you think Collin and Connor would be okay with that?”

“I think they’d be angrier if you let me get sick from the cold.” You tease.

“That is a fair point.” Richard raises a brow as he puts in the location for the car to self-drive. When he has it tapped in, he too swivels around in his seat to move to the back with you.

Richard is a little awkward at first as he clumsily shifted to lay down in the backseat with you, eventually pulling you into his chest. The thrum of his thirium pump makes you grin in triumph as he settles his head to rest on top of yours. Richard then changes his body temperature to a comfortable setting so that he could be your personal radiator for the next few hours.

Was this weird? Absolutely. Was this wrong? Maybe. Was this comfortable? YES.

But you allowed yourself the brief comfort of being in Richard's arms, even if it was just for this one night. Maybe you felt like you deserved it, you were entitled to some amount of comfort after all the crap you’ve been through.

A part of you was angry and Collin and Connor for not reaching out, even to send a measly little text message. Your more rational mind told you to drop it, something might have come up, you didn’t know the full story, and maybe it was too hard for them. Although that didn’t stop it from stinging your ego any less.

You managed to drift off to sleep rather quickly, that was one of the benefits from all the hard work you had been up to at the settlement, sleep found you a whole lot quicker. Richard had stayed beside you for the majority of the journey as well, cherishing the feeling of having you in his arms once again. Deciding to himself to never be without this feeling anymore. His face snuck its way between your neck and collar bone to take in your scent and to delicately place his lips against your skin just for a sweet moment of indulgence. He had to wiggle his hips away from yours so you would not awake with his growing hardness against your ass.

Feeling a little guilty for his body’s response he decided to give you some space, sliding his form out from the side, slowly as not to wake you. He couldn’t help but smiling down at how comfortable you seemed as he made his way back to the driver’s seat, the seat still swivelled around to face the back.

Richard did eventually wake you up as the car pulled into the private garage area for the RK’s apartment building.

“We're here, little dove.” He coos to you, brushing his knuckles down the length of your arm.

Your eyes squinted open, feeling blinded by the violently bright fluorescent lights of the garage you had found yourself in. Looking down you had noticed one of Richard's coats had been draped over you. You rubbed your eyes briefly before reaching down to it to hand it over to Richard.

“You put it on.” He insisted, pushing it back towards you. “At least until we get inside. It gets cold in the garage, at least that’s what my sensors tell me.”

You didn’t object you just nodded in silence, still in that groggy half sleep-like state. Throwing the oversized coat onto yourself you open the car door and hop out, Richard grabbing your bag soon follows behind, hand on your shoulder as he directs you towards the elevator.

It felt strange being back in the city, even stranger to see the apartment building again.

When you entered back into your old home, it had felt different somehow, a little bit eerie even. Suppose it didn’t help that most of the lights were off.

“Collin and Connor are both out at the moment.” Richard finally spoke up again, leading you by the shoulder into the dark living room, with a flash of his LED the lights were on.

You squinted again at the harshness of them before Richard had dimmed them to a more pleasing brightness level.

“Why don’t you go and get a nice hot bath and I can put your stuff away.” He awkwardly half-smiles over at you.

“Are you sure?” You ask skittishly.

“Of course.” He tilts his head in confusion, it’s not like having YOU here was any bother to him, he was bloody delighted. “After that, I can go get my brothers?”

“Right now?” You stuttered out the question, fidgeting with the large sleeves of Richard’s coat that you had forgotten to take off.

“Do you want some time before?” Richard asked, head tilting once more, exposing his pale neck to you.

You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. “I don’t know, maybe. It’s not that I don’t want to see them. This is all just a little overwhelming.”

“I understand.” Richard nods. “Just one thing at a time.”

You look up at him once more, catching his cool eyes in a stare, you nod. “A hot bath sounds good.”

________________________________________________________________

Notes:  I lowkey called Emily's love interest James after Bucky Barnes (cause for some reason I imaging him looking like Bucky lol)

Sorry I'd been gone for a while, just been really busy with work and general life stuff.

____________________________________________________________

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Taglist: @connorsdimple @clussysposts @iris-suoh​ @jellicorn05​

(Let me know if  anyone  need added or removed from the tag list!)

[enkisstories]

On his way out, Gavin was held back by Sophie.

Again the former household android yelled at him how Gavin's boyfriend, Daniel, had stolen her place in the Phillips family's heart.

Gavin: "Are you aware that they did to Danny same as they did to you? Caroline urged John to replace Daniel with a newer model."

Sophie: "Serves him well! It was never his place in the first place!"

Gavin: "Maybe. But Daniel didn't accept getting cast aside. He attacked John with the man's own tablet. The order for the new AP700 was still on screen when it broke."

Sophie: "The tablet broke... But what about John? Was he hurt?"

Gavin: "Yes, and seriously. Poor guy suffered cerebral concussion, went to hospital, was put on painkillers and is still in therapy to this very day."

Sophie: "Oh, no. John... Poor John... A Caroline and little Emma, they must have worried so much!"

Gavin: "You really love the Phillips, do you?"

Sophie: *sobs*

Gavin: "Would you maybe want to chip in on John's still open hospital bill?"

Daniel: "Ey...? Gavin? What the...?"

Sophie: "Yes, of course! And gladly! He's family!"

Daniel: "Are you even earning money here?"

Sophie: "You'd never guess! This junkyard is a gold mine! We were able to fund repairs for all of us and now that these are finished, money KEEPS rolling in. Given time, I could cover the whole bill."

Gavin: "Don't let us stop you, Miss Phillips. Just sign as many of these receipts as you wish. Daniel isn't too eager to pay for the damage he's done, you know. He's way behind with the payments..."

Sophie: "I expected no less from the rat. - There! Signed! All of them!"

Gavin: "Your dedication is admirable, Miss Phillips. Give John and Caroline our regards when next you see them!"

May I say how perfect their expressions in this sequence were?

[user-2-electric-boogaloo]

A Comparison of RTD and Steven Moffat: Saving The Day

So for this analysis I’m going to compare when Moffat and RTD save the day well and when they save it poorly. There are a few bits of criteria I need to explain.

 First I will only be including main series, no Torchwood, no spin-offs, and no mini episodes.

Second, I have to define what makes a good and a bad ending (my examples will come from episodes written by neither of them): 

Bad endings include when the sonic saves the day (see The Power Of Three) (there are exceptions, see below), when a character spouts some useless technobabble that doesn’t make any scientific sense/when it doesn’t make logical sense in general, when the Doctor invents/presents a machine/equipment that miraculously stops the baddy and is never referred to again (see Journey To The Centre Of The TARDIS), and any other ending I deem to be bad (see The Vampires of Venice)

Good endings include when the sonice activates a device that has been well established to save the day, when technobabble is used that actually makes some scientific sense, and just generally when the baddy is destroyed in what I deem to be a creative manner that makes sense with all the things that had been set up in that episode (see The Unquiet Dead).

There will also be cases where there isn’t really a day to be saved, however this happens more often with Moffat.

Let us begin (obviously there will be spoilers but the last episode in the list aired nearly 4 years ago so what you doing with your life).

RTD:

Rose: Bad

What even is anti-plastic?! Like seriously, he’s faced the Autons loads of times and has never thought to use it any other time.

The End Of The World: Bad

The Doctor just goes up to the appearance of the repeated meme (ha meme) and rips its arm off. He then just summons Cassandra back by twisting a knob which apparently everyone can do if “you’re very clever like me”.

Aliens Of London/World War Three: Good

Just nuking them all was a bit dodgy but I’ll give it to him purely because it had been set up earlier in the episode and it is a genuine option that could have been taken.

The Long Game: Good

The heating issue was set up within 2 minutes of the episode starting. It’s always good to see the Doctor using his enemies weakness against them.

Boom Town: Good

Only just. It’s technology that hadn’t been showcased ever before and came out of nowhere, but I’m allowing purely because it was setting up The Parting Of The Ways.

Bad Wolf/The Parting Of The Ways: Good

See above. It was set up the story before so it works.

The Christmas Invasion: Bad

This was so close to being good. If RTD had just let the Sycorax leader be honourable then everything would have been fine. Instead he had to let him be dishonourable and then the Doctor through the Satsuma at a random button that for no apparent reason caused a bit of floor to fall away.

New Earth: Bad

It only makes sense if you think about it for less than 10 seconds as just pouring every cure to every disease ever into a giant tub and then spraying said supercure onto them all, then having them hug each other to pass it on. That is suspending my disbelief just a bit too far.

Tooth And Claw: Good

Everything is set up in the episode so I’ll allow it but I fail to see how Prince Albert had the time to ensure that the diamond was cut perfectly.

Love And Monsters: Bad

It’s Love And Monsters. Need I say more?

Army of Ghosts/Doomsday: Good

It was very clearly set up throughout the episode.

The Runaway Bride: Bad

I don’t like how a few bombs can supposedly drain the entire Thames.

Smith And Jones: Good

All the events were well established

Gridlock: Good

It’s a fairly bland way to save the day, just opening the surface to all the drivers. But how else could he have done it?

Utopia/The Sound Of Drums/Last Of The Time Lords: Bad

As much as I like the idea that he tuned himself into the archangel network, he basically turned into Jesus. It is arguably the least convincing ending in modern Doctor Who history.

Voyage Of The Damned: Bad

Why was he the next highest authority? If he’s the highest authority in the universe why didn’t they default to him in the first place? If not then why not default to Midshipman Frame? And if he’s somehow in between them then why? Also Astrid killed herself for no reason when she easily could have jumped out of the forklift.

Partners In Crime: Good

It works in the context of the episode, but I don’t see why they needed two of the necklace things.

Midnight: Good

It’s human nature, you can’t get more well set up than that.

Turn Left: Good

It works logically

The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End: Bad

Donna just spouts a load of technobabble whilst pressing buttons and then the Daleks are magically incapacitated.

The Next Doctor: Bad

Why do the infostamps sever Hartigan’s connection with the Cyberking? As far as I remember it ain’t explained.

Planet Of The Dead (co-written with noted transphobe Gareth Roberts): Good

A good couple scenes are dedicated on getting the anti-gravs set up.

The Waters Of Mars (co-written with Phil Ford): N/A

The day isn’t really saved cause everyone still dies anyway.

The End Of Time: Good

Using a gun to destroy a machine is much better than using the sonic to destroy it.

Summary for RTD:

Out of 24 stories written by him, I deem 10 to be bad endings with 1 abstaining. That’s 41.7% of his episodes (43.5% if we don’t count any abstaining).

Steven Moffat:

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Good

You’ll see this a lot with Moffat, he knows how to explain things without stupefying levels of technobabble. “Emailing the upgrade” is a perfect example of this.

The Girl In The Fireplace: Good

Some basic logic, the androids want to repair their ship, but they can’t return to it, they no longer have a function so they shut down.

Blink: Good

Always loved this one, getting the angels to look at each other, however they do look at each other sometimes earlier in the episode.

Silence In The Library/Forest Of The Dead: Bad

This is more of a problem with the setup of the episode, I don’t like that he can negotiate with the Vashta Nerada. I’d rather see them comprehensively beaten, but I guess it’s good for the scare factor that they can’t be escaped from.

The Eleventh Hour: Good

He convinced the best scientists all around the world to set every clock to 0 all in less than an hour. In the Doctor’s own words “Who da man!”

The Beast Below: Good

The crying child motif pretty much ended up saving the day (well for the star whale, life went on as normal for pretty much everyone else).

The Time Of Angels/Flesh And Stone: Good

The artificial gravity had briefly been set up earlier so I’ll allow it.

The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang: Good

Everything had been set up perfectly, the vortex manipulator, the Pandorica’s survival field thingy, the TARDIS exploding at every moment in history.

A Christmas Carol: Good

Literally the entire episode is the Doctor saving the day by convincing Kazran not to be a cock.

The Impossible Astronaut/Day Of The Moon: Good

The silence’s ability to influence people is their whole thing, so using it against them is a good Doctory thing to do.

A Good Man Goes To War: N/A

The day isn’t really saved, Melody is lost, but River shows up at the end so is all fine? I love the episode it’s just the day isn’t really truly saved (yes I know Amy was rescued but she still lost her baby).

Let’s Kill Hitler: N/A

There isn’t really a day to be saved. They all get out alive but no one is really saved other than maybe River but we all knew she was gonna live anyway.

The Wedding Of River Song: Good

Whilst opinion is divided on the episode, the ending still works. the Tesseracta was established in Let’s Kill Hitler, and the “touch River and time will move again” was established well in advance.

The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe: Bad

I don’t like how the lifeboat travels through the time vortex for no reason but to rescue the dad. It don’t make no sense and I don’t think it’s explained

Asylum Of The Daleks: Good

Oswin had access to the Dalek hive mind so of course she should be able to link into the controls and blow everything up.

The Angels Take Manhattan: Good

Paradoxes really do be something powerful, and they even acknowledge how nobody knows if it’d work so I’ll let it slide.

The Snowmen: Bad

Lots of people cry at Christmas, why are the Latimers anything special?

The Bells of Saint John: Good

The whole episode is about hacking so why shouldn’t the Doctor be able to hack the spoonheads

The Name Of The Doctor: Good

It was the story arc for the season pretty much, so of course it was explained well in advance.

The Day Of The Doctor: Good

Both the storing Gallifrey like a painting and the making everyone forget if they’re Human or Zygon works in the context of the episode.

The Time Of The Doctor: Bad

Since when were the Time Lords so easily negotiated with?

Deep Breath: Good

I like the dilemma over whether the half-face man was pushed or jumped.

Into The Dalek: Good

It’s set up well with this new Doctor’s persona of actually not being too nice of a guy (at first).

Listen: N/A

There isn’t a day to be saved. It’s just 45 minutes of the Doctor testing a hypothesis and I low-key love it.

Time Heist (co-written with Steven Thompson): Good

It works logically so I’ll allow it however it isn’t very well set up at all.

The Caretaker (co-written with noted shithead Gareth Roberts): Good

The machine to tell the Blitzer what to do was set up well in advance so I’ll allow it.

Dark Water/Death In Heaven: Good

The fact that Danny still cares even as a cyberman is set up fairly early on after his transformation.

Last Christmas: Good

He does use the sonic to wake up Clara but he convinces the others to wake up through talking so I’ll allow it.

The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar: Good

It’s set up well with that little scene from actually inside the sewers.

The Girl Who Died (co-written with Jamie Mathieson): Good

IDK why the vikings would randomly keep electric eels but they’re set up well so I’ll ignore it. 

The Zygon Inversion (co-written with Peter Harness): N/A 

Not including this one as it’s only the second part and I’d argue the ending is most likely Harness’.

Heaven Sent/Hell Bent: N/A

Again there isn’t really a day to be saved, yes Heaven Sent really is amazing but it’s only the first part and, being completely honest, he dies several billion times before finally getting through the wall.

The Husbands Of River Song: N/A

Again there isn’t really a day to be saved here.

The Return Of Doctor Mysterio: Good

He gets Grant to catch the bomb which is good. But he does just sonic the gun out of Dr Sim’s hand and says UNIT is on its way which just sort of wraps it up very quickly.

The Pilot: N/A

No day to be saved here.

Extremis: Good

You could technically call it the sonic saving the day, I consider it to be the Doctor emailing the Doctor to warn him of the future.

The Pyramid At The End Of The World: Good

The fire sanitising everything makes sense and it’s in character for Bill to love the Doctor enough to cure his blindness in return for the world

World Enough And Time/The Doctor Falls: Good

Yes it is the sonic just blowing the cybermen up, but it’s blowing them up with well established pipelines so I’ll allow it (also the story is amazing).

Twice Upon A Time: N/A

No day to be saved here. Just Doctors 1 and 12 getting angsty about regenerating.

Summary for Steven Moffat:

Out of 39 stories written by him, I deemed 4 to be bad with 7 abstaining. That’s 10.3% of his episodes (12.5% if we don’t count any abstaining).

Conclusions:

Moffat was much better at saving the day than RTD

Moffat liked telling stories where the day didn’t actually need to be saved

I’ve spent way too long on this and I need to sleep

If I spent as much time on this as my coursework I’d probably pass

If you’re still reading this, you probably need to get a life

[multiverseforger]

Born and raised in Greece by his single mother, Michael Morbius experienced an isolated childhood due to his rare blood condition, which contributed to his ugly and unpleasant-looking appearance. But despite his looks, he was an intellectually gifted young man who spent his time reading books and, in time, became a highly respected and Nobel Prize-winning biologist who specialized in the field of human and animal biology. While in New York, after escaping from his home country due to his pseudo-vampiric condition, he attempted to find a cure and to protect his fiancé Martine Bancroft, but he was attacked by the Lizard and defeated when Spider-Man and the Lizard teamed up against him to recover a sample of Morbius's blood in order to cure their own mutated physical conditions before he escaped. The truth behind his horrific condition is that, in order to cure himself of an unknown blood disease which was killing him, Morbius, using his past experience as an expert biochemist, had attempted to cure himself of the disease with an experimental treatment involving vampire bat DNA and electroshock therapy. However, he instead became afflicted with a far worse disease called "pseudo-vampirism" that mimicked some of the powers and the bloodlust of supernatural vampirism. Morbius now had to drink blood in order to survive and had a strong aversion to light. His bones became hollow and he gained the ability to fly, as well as gaining superhuman strength, super-speed, and an accelerated healing factor. His appearance, already ugly, now became hideous—his upper canine teeth extended into fangs, his nose flattened to appear more like that of a bat's and his skin became chalk-white. He also gained the ability to turn others into similar "living vampires" like himself by biting them and drinking their blood, infecting them with the disease of pseudo-vampirism.[13] People whom Morbius infected with the disease of pseudo-vampirism did not truly die as a result and they could be cured through an antidote to pseudo-vampirism derived from Morbius's blood that Morbius and Martine had created, although that antidote would not work on Morbius himself. They also did not acquire his ability to fly or his healing factor and any mortal wound could kill them.[14] He later sought a cure for his condition, but battled Spider-Man, the Human Torch, and the original X-Men.[15]Morbius then encountered Barbara Clark and protected her from a demon named Nilrac, but unfortunately after that, Morbius killed her and drank her blood to satisfy his hunger, feeling a strong sense of guilt immediately afterward.[16]

Morbius later rescued Amanda Saint from a Satanic cult known as Demon-Fire and aided her in her quest to find her missing parents.[17] He caused John Jameson to again become the Man-Wolf. Alongside the Man-Wolf, he battled Spider-Man again in another attempt at a cure.[18] He then battled Reverend Daemond and encountered the Caretakers of Arcturus IV. At the same time, he visited both the Land Within, the home of the Cat People, and the planet Arcturus IV, the homeworld of the Caretakers. During this time, he first battled Blade the Vampire-Slayer.[19] He then first battled the Werewolf (Jack Russell)[20] He then first encountered rogue CIA agent Simon Stroud and battled the extra-dimensional demon known as Helleyes.[21] He and Stroud then battled a large group of other pseudo-vampires that had been created by Morbius, destroying them all. One of them, however, who had been taken into police custody, turned Martine into a pseudo-vampire before being destroyed by Morbius, but Morbius (who then turned on Martine and made her a pseudo-vampire again due to his bloodlust overcoming him) and Stroud cured Martine by using the antidote, after which Morbius fled.[14] He then encountered Alicia Twain, a desperate landowner, and tried to help her keep her land; however, she died at the hands of the men trying to steal her land despite Morbius's help, forcing Morbius to kill her murderers.[22] Next, he encountered an enigmatic woman named Morgana St. Clair in England, who aided him and seemed to know all about vampires. This led to Morbius batting - and destroying - the Brotherhood of Judas, another Satanic cult of which St. Clair was a member.[23] Alongside the Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), the Man-Thing (Ted Sallis), and the Werewolf, he then encountered the Starseed.[24]Morbius then visited his old friend Ronson Slade, a scientist, again hoping to find a cure. Slade, however, had become a werewolf and Morbius was forced to kill him.[25]Morbius then first battled the Thing, then teamed up with him to battle the Living Eraser and escaped to Dimension Z.[26] He later returned to Earth and battled Spider-Man again, this time briefly controlled both physically and mentally by an extra-dimensional humanoid android called the Empathoid, which fed on emotions to survive. Spider-Man destroyed the Empathoid (after the android had left Morbius and possessed him) by causing it to overdose on emotions during an exposure to the crowd at a baseball game in a stadium where he and Morbius had taken their battle, after which both of them left due to the approach of the stadium guards. Morbius then fled and Spider-Man left the Empathoid's body with the Fantastic Four for safekeeping.[27]

He once again fought Spider-Man and tried to drink his radioactive blood, but then he was hit by a lightning bolt at the same time, which cured him of his pseudo-vampirism and made him human again (he still retained a thirst for blood, however).[28] While he was cured, he was charged with the crimes he had committed as a pseudo-vampire and was represented by Jennifer Walters, whose dual identity as the She-Hulk was not yet publicly known at the time. Morbius selflessly saved Walters' life and stabilized her erratic transformations into the She-Hulk with a serum that he had created to cure the remnants of his own transformation.[29] He eventually regained his pseudo-vampiric state and first met Doctor Strange.[30] Alongside Doctor Strange and Brother Voodoo, he battled Marie Laveau and witnessed the return of true vampires.[31] Morbius later battled Spider-Man in the New York sewers.[32]

The Ghost Rider (Danny Ketch) and Johnny Blaze searched for Morbius to form the Nine (a.k.a. the Midnight Sons) and stop Lilith the Mother of All Demons and her children the Lilin from taking over the world. When they found Morbius, the pseudo-vampire believed that they would kill him, but the Ghost Rider and Blaze successfully captured him. Doctor Langford, who supposedly tried to heal Morbius's wounds, was actually trying to kill him and was working for Doctor Paine. He made an unknown mutagenic serum that would prove fatal to Morbius. Unknown to Doctor Langford, Fang, one of Lilith's children, was also trying to kill Morbius by adding his own demonic blood to the serum, which would also be fatal to Morbius. When Doctor Langford injected the serum to Morbius, it did not kill him, but instead it mutated him. Morbius's friend, Jacob, was trying to look inside of him and see what he could do about Morbius's condition. After Martine Bancroft, Morbius's ex-fiancé, found out that Langford was trying to kill him, Langford shot her and she bled to death. Morbius found out about this and was enraged to find his ex-fiancé dead. He later avenged the death of Martine by killing Langford and took the beaker which contained the serum.[33] The Ghost Rider and Blaze later found out about Morbius's acts of destruction. The Ghost Rider confronted him and would not tolerate Morbius drinking any more innocent blood. Morbius then vowed he would only drink the blood of the guilty. The Ghost Rider accepted the vow, but warned him not to stray from it. Morbius soon became part of the Midnight Sons.

Later, a new faction of vampires tried to destroy Morbius because he had been genetically manipulated to be the perfect weapon. The chest in which he was to be delivered was intercepted by the Kingpin, Blade and Spider-Man, and he attacked all three. Whatever unknown party manipulated him failed; he collapsed after one battle, possibly dying. With his last breath, he warned Spider-Man to beware of his employer, Senator Stuart Ward.[34]

It was later revealed that Morbius had signed the Superhuman Registration Act and was cooperating with S.H.I.E.L.D. in an effort to capture Blade.[35] He had also presumably survived his genetic manipulation, as Blade was able to distinguish him as the same Morbius who "took a bite out of [him]" in their previous encounter.[36]

Morbius was next seen as a member of A.R.M.O.R., held captive by the zombie Morbius from the Marvel Zombies universe of Earth-2149.[37] He survived the invasion, killing his zombie counterpart in the process.[38] Shortly after, he formed a new version of the Midnight Sons with Jennifer Kale, Daimon Hellstrom, Jack Russell, and the Man-Thing to contain a zombie outbreak on an isolated island, briefly running afoul of the Hood in the process.[39]

Morbius later helped the Man-Thing re-assemble a decapitated Punisher into a Frankensteinian monster called FrankenCastle.[40]

During The Gauntlet storyline, Morbius was behind the theft of a vial of Spider-Man's blood. Spider-Man, learning that Morbius was planning to use the blood samples to create a cure for Jack Russell, agreed to help Morbius out by giving him more of his blood to help with the cure.[41]

During the Origin of the Species storyline, Morbius was among the supervillains recruited by Doctor Octopus to secure some items for him.[42]

During the events of Spider-Island, it was revealed to the reader that Morbius was the mysterious Number Six working at Horizon Labs. He assisted, wearing a hazmat suit to conceal his identity, in preparing the cure to the spider-powers virus.[43] When Peter Parker tried to investigate the identity of "Number Six", he accidentally provoked Morbius—who had been using the cure to try to develop a basis for a cure for his own condition—into a frenzy, prompting the staff at Horizon to step up building security (making it harder for Peter to enter and exit the building as Spider-Man in the future) and also forcing Morbius to leave, where it was revealed that he had been working with the Lizard, presumably trying to find a cure for both of their conditions. It was also revealed that Morbius was a college friend of Max Modell.[44] Using DNA samples from the corpse of Billy Connors, Morbius was able to create a cure that would restore the Lizard to human form, but he failed to recognize that the Lizard had completely destroyed Curt Connors' human persona.[45] The Lizard was left alone in Morbius's lab, allowing him to release blood into the lab's air supply to provoke the injured Morbius into attacking the other Horizon scientists. This prompted Morbius to flee the lab, with Spider-Man in pursuit.[46] Morbius was captured by Spider-Man and locked up in a cell in the Raft.[47]

When Peter Parker (whose mind was now in Doctor Octopus's dying body) needed some supervillains to help capture Otto Octavius (whose mind was now in Spider-Man's body), Morbius offered to help, but was rejected.[48] Morbius eventually escaped from the Raft[49] and fled to Brownsville.[50]

After some time, he tried to stop some vampires in Barcelona, but got captured by them and locked in a coffin. The vampires wanted to mix their blood with that of Morbius, until he got unintentionally saved by Domino, Diamondback and the Outlaw. After telling them about the vampires' plan, they agree to help him kill King Morbius (a true vampire infected with Morbius's blood). Then after killing him, a vampire hunter tried to kill Morbius, but thanks to Domino, he escaped.[51]

Morbius was later rescued by Agent of Wakanda Wasp from Dracula's Disciples, with assistance from Agents Broo and Man-Wolf. He later informed the Wasp and Director Okoye on the Vampire Civil War

[archadianskies]

trying my best; trying to find happiness

→ on Ao3

@dbhrarepairs Wednesday Day 3: Past & Future • Separation; post-revolution Daniel/Leo 

A missing scene from [heavy with hoping]

He remembers going to Greektown specifically to visit Bellini Paints when he first moved to Detroit. It had been a small detail he remembered from an interview with Carl he watched in school; Carl Manfred had pure pigments imported via Bellini Paints and mixed his own paints by hand when he couldn’t find the right premade tubes. 

Sixteen year old Leo had treated it almost like a pilgrimage, visiting the store his father relied on to create his masterpieces. Sixteen year old Leo had been so full of hope, so full of yearning to connect with his biological father. What an idiot he’d been, that sixteen year old boy desperate for approval from a man who’d been more than happy to keep their relationship purely monetary. 

Bellini Paints is no less beautiful thirteen years on. The walls are lined with jars of pigments and illuminated with soft ambient lighting. All the cherry lacquer cabinetry has a pleasing rosy hue to the wood, and the polished brass knobs and handles aid in the stately, regal aesthetic of the brand. It feels old and timeless, an institution that will remain even when he is long gone. 

He’s no longer that naive, hopeful teen and though he’s left that Leo in the past where he belongs, he feels no anger or frustration towards him. How could he? All that Leo had wanted was to connect with his father and be loved; surely seeking love and approval from a parent isn’t asking for the world?

Not that it matters now, anyway, not when Leo’s got a brother now- a Manfred that matters in a meaningful, healing way, and it’s for that Manfred that he makes the trip to Bellini Paints. Which is now closed.

“Ah shit,” Leo swears, rolling his eyes in exasperation as he stands in front of the locked store.

 *~*

He remembers going to Greektown as chaperone for Emma and her friends one weekend to watch a movie at James & Carter cinemas. There were four children in total, including Emma, and one other domestic android, an AX400 accompanying them. Daniel paid no attention to the movie, but what he does remember was Emma’s fascination with Bellini Paints. 

The children had been chattering away avidly after leaving the cinema, discussing what they’d just watched, but they’d fallen into a hush when they passed the store. He remembers Emma’s delighted gasp, remembers her walking to the window and peering inside at the rows of pigments on the shelves. 

“Hey Daniel, which one matches my eyes?” She’d asked, and he’d pointed at one of the jars in the top right hand corner. She’d laughed so brightly, and then her attention turned elsewhere and the moment was over, the moment lived on only in his perfect memory. 

They’d gone to Essie’s Bakery afterward because Caroline specifically did not like the place but Emma loved the buttercream cupcakes there and she knew her mother would say no, but Daniel would always say yes. Even that Daniel in the past had been well on his way to deviancy because even a direct order from Caroline became meaningless when Emma pleaded for leniency.

He wonders if someday Emma will visit Essie’s Bakery of her own volition, and buy one of his buttercream cupcakes, because that’s where he works now, now that he is alive and free and has been given a second chance. He loves it here because he can hide out in the back and just create food to be consumed, and no one can eat baked goods unhappily. That he can somehow contribute to someone’s happiness is enough for Daniel, more than enough, and certainly far more than he ever deserves. 

The workday ends and he packs up, cleans up and locks up. Daniel wraps a scarf around his neck made of chunky blue yarn that Simon knitted for him because Simon is good, and kind, and all the things Daniel used to be but isn’t now. He’s trying, though, he’s trying very hard because Simon believes in him and Daniel loves him too much to disappoint him. 

He makes his way towards the bus stop only to bump into someone outside of Bellini Paints.

“Oh, sorry-!” The young man looks familiar, and Daniel recognises him from a few days ago.

“Leo?”

“Danny?”

“It’s Daniel, I told you that,” he corrects automatically, bristling. “What are you doing here? Bellini’s closes at 6pm.”

“Ugh, I thought I’d have enough time after my therapy session to swing by and grab Markus’ pastels order,” the young man groans, jamming his hands in his pockets. Leo Manfred, human brother to Markus Manfred, leader of Jericho and object of Simon’s unrequited affection. Daniel’s interacted with Markus several times now and doesn’t care much for him despite the whole ‘saviour’ thing. He’s grateful, no doubt about it, but anyone who Simon fixates on and loves so openly only to fail to return such affections isn’t so great in Daniel’s eyes. 

“They’ll open at 9am again tomorrow, though if you’re in a rush, Vincent’s here by 8:30am,” Daniel points out, thinking fondly of the genial EM400. 

“Uh, no, I value my sleep,” Leo rolls his eyes. “But I’ll swing by around lunch probably. You heading home now?”

“Yes, if I catch the next bus it should line up with when he leaves your place and we can take it home together,” Daniel nods and Leo shrugs. 

“I’ll call you a cab- that way I can go home and Simon can continue on with you,” he takes out his phone and opens an app. “Don’t worry, I’ll put it on the house card. The old man’s got plenty to spare and he’d be more than happy to pay for Simon to get home safely.”

“Simon, but not us,” Daniel drawls as Leo snorts back a laugh.

“I mean, we’re all in agreement here though aren’t we?”

“Yes, Simon is always the priority,” Daniel replies without hesitation.

A taxi pulls up and Daniel climbs inside as Leo takes a seat opposite him. He generally avoids interacting with humans but for some reason Leo is the exception. He’s so stubbornly blasé about Daniel, so readily casual with his invitation of friendship that he can’t help but accept. It’s as if Leo’s willing to pester him into becoming friends and truth be told, Daniel wants it, Daniel wants someone to want him. Simon does, and that’s why he loves him, because Simon has a way of stubbornly killing him with kindness when everyone else loathes him. 

“So, the other day Simon was telling me he was at the DPD for some important meeting or other,” Leo begins, hands gesturing animatedly, “and all he could focus on were the shitty store bought muffins on the meeting table. Which got me thinking of how you could make some of your amazing pastries to totally wow them, and give Simon the perfect window he needs to talk to the Anderson brothers.” 

“You want me to bribe the DPD into silence so we can set up my brother to not be with yours?” It’s so stupid it makes Daniel want to laugh. Stupid, but plausible, and really, it’s for Simon and they’d both do anything for happiness. “I’m in.”

He’ll do it for Simon, but who knows, maybe there’s a little scrap of happiness held in store for him in the future too.

[collegeburnoutsuperstar]

Social Distancing Book Recs

I’ve been getting tons of book recommendations from friends and family to help get through social distancing/self-quarantine, so I thought I should share some of my favorite books with everybody!

Horror/Apocalyptic: *all books are ADULT*

- The Stand by Stephen King “This is the way the world ends: with a nanosecond of computer error in a Defense Department laboratory and a million casual contacts that form the links in a chain letter of death. And here is the bleak new world of the day after: a world stripped of its institutions and emptied of 99 percent of its people. A world in which a handful of panicky survivors choose sides -- or are chosen” (Goodreads Summary).

- Inferno by Dan Brown “Harvard professor of symbology Robert Langdon awakens in an Italian hospital, disorientated and with no recollection of the past thirty-six hours, including the origin of the macabre object hidden in his belongings. With a relentless female assassin tailing them through Florence, he and his resourceful doctor, Sienna Brooks, are forced to flee. Embarking on a harrowing journey, they must unravel a series of codes, which are the work of a brilliant scientist whose obsession with the end of the world is matched only by his passion for one of the most influential masterpieces ever written, Dante Alighieri’s The Inferno” (Goodreads Summary).

- World War Z by Max Brooks “The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, form decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years” (Goodreads summary).

- It by Stephen King “It’s a small city, a place as hauntingly familiar as your own hometown. Only in Derry the haunting is real... They were seven teenagers when they first stumbled upon the horror. Now they are grown-up men and women who have gone out into the big world to gain success and happiness. But none of them can withstand the force that has drawn them back to Derry to face the nightmare without an end, and the evil without a name” (Goodreads summary).

- The Shining by Stephen King “Jack Torrance’s new job at the Overlook Hotel is the perfect chance for a fresh start. As the off-season caretaker at the atmospheric old hotel, he’ll have plenty of time to spend reconnecting with his family and working on his writing. But as the harsh winter weather sets in, the idyllic locations feels ever more remote... and more sinister. And the only one to notice the strange and terrible forces gathering around the Overlook is Danny Torrance, a uniquely gifted five-year-old” (Goodreads summary).

- House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski “[House of Leaves] focuses on a young family that moves into a small home on Ash Tree Lane where they discover something is terribly wrong: their house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Of course, neither Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Will Navidson nor his companion Karen Green was prepared to face the consequences of the impossibility, until the day their two little children wandered off and their voices eerily began to return another story -- of creature darkness, of an ever-growing abyss behind a closet door, and of the unholy growl which soon enough would tear through their walls and consume all their dreams” (Goodreads summary).

Comedy:

- Good Omens by Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett “People have been predicting the end of the world almost from its very beginning, so it’s only natural to be skeptical when a new date is set for Judgement Day. But what if, for once, the predictions are right, and the apocalypse really is due to arrive next Saturday, just after tea? You could spend the time left drowning your sorrows, giving away all your possessions in preparation for the rapture, or laughing it off as (hopefully) just another hoax. Or you could just try to do something about it. It’s a predicament that Aziraphale, a somewhat fussy angel, and Crowley, a fast-living demon now finds themselves in. They’ve been living amongst Earth’s mortals since The Beginning and, truth be told, have grown rather fond of the lifestyle and, in all honesty, are not actually looking forward to the coming Apocalypse. And then there’s the small matter that someone appears to have misplaced the Antichrist... “ (Goodreads summary).

- Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan *PG-13* Dad is Fat is a comedic memoir that details Jim Gaffigan’s life growing up in a large Catholic family to his experiences as a husband and father (specifically parenting his five young children while living in a tiny walk-up apartment in New York). I highly recommend the audiobook (which is narrated by Jim Gaffigan), my family and I always listen to it during road trips. It never stops being funny. 

- Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings by The Harvard Lampoon *ADULT* “A quest, a war, a ring that would be grounds for calling any wedding off, a king without a kingdom, and a little, furry ‘hero��� named Frito, ready -- or maybe just forced by the wizard of Goodgulf-- to undertake the one mission which can save Lower Middle Earth from enslavement by the evil Sorhed… Luscious Elfmaidens, a roller-skating dragon, ugly plants that can soul-kiss the unwary to death-- these are just some of the ingredients in the wildest, wackiest, most irreverent excursion into fantasy realms that anyone has ever dared to undertake” (Goodreads summary).

Middle-Grade:

- Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan (book 1: The Lightning Thief) “Percy Jackson is a good kid, but he can’t seem to focus on his schoolwork or control his temper. And lately, being away at boarding school is only getting worse - Percy could have sworn his pre-algebra teacher turned into a monster and tried to kill him. When Percy’s mom finds out, she knows it’s time that he knew the truth about where he came from, and that he go to the one place he’ll be safe. She sends Percy to Camp Half Blood, a summer camp for demigods. Soon a mystery unfolds and together with his friends-- one a satyr and the other the demigod daughter of Athena-- Percy sets out on a quest across the United States to reach the gates of the Underworld and prevent a catastrophic war between the gods” (Goodreads summary).

- The Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan (book 1: The Lost Hero) “Jason has a problem. He doesn’t remember anything before waking up in a bus full of kids on a field trip. Apparently he has a girlfriend named Piper, and a best friend named Leo. They’re all students at a boarding school for ‘bad kids.’ What id Jason do to end up here? And where is here, exactly? Piper has a secret. Her father has been missing for three days, ever since she had that terrifying nightmare about his being in trouble. Piper doesn’t understand her dream, or why her boyfriend suddenly doesn’t recognize her. When a freak storm hits during the school trip, unleashing strange creatures and whisking her, Jason, and Leo away to someplace called Camp Half-Blood, she has a feeling she’s going to find out. Leo has a way with tools. When he sees his cabin at Camp Half-Blood, filled with power tools and machine parts, he feels right at home. But there’s weird stuff, too-- like the curse everyone keeps talking about, and some camper who’s gone missing. Weirdest of all, his bunkmates insist that each of them--including Leo-- is related to a god. Does this have anything to do with Jason’s amnesia, or the fact that Leo keeps seeing ghosts?” (Goodreads summary)

- The Children of the Red King series by Jenny Nimmo (book 1: Midnight for Charlie Bone) “Charlie Bone has a special gift-- he can hear people in photographs talking! The fabulous powers of the Red King were passed down through his descendants, after turning up quite unexpectedly, in someone who had no idea where they came from. This is what happened to Charlie Bone, and to some of the children he met behind the grim, gray walls of Bloor’s Academy. His scheming aunts decide to send him to Bloor’s Academy, a school for geniuses where he uses his grifts to discover the truth despite all the dangers that lie ahead” (Goodreads summary).

- Things Not Seen by Andrew Clements “Bobby Phillips is an average fifteen-year-old boy. Until the morning he wakes up and can’t see himself in the mirror. Not blind, not dreaming. Bobby is just plain invisible... There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to Bobby’s new conditions; even his dad the physicist can’t figure it out. For Bobby that means no school, no friends, no life. He’s a missing person” (Goodreads summary).

Science Fiction:

- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick *Adult*  “It was January 2021, and Rick Deckard had a license to kill. Somewhere among the hordes of humans out there, lurked several rogue androids. Deckard’s assignment-- find them and then... ‘retire’ them. Trouble was, the androids all looked exactly like humans, and they didn’t want to be found!” (Goodreads summary).

- Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton * Suitable for Young Adults* “An astonishing technique for recovering and cloning dinosaur DNA has been discovered. Now humankind’s most thrilling fantasies have come true. Creatures extinct for eons roam Jurassic Park with their awesome presence and profound mystery, and all the world can visit them-- for a price. Until something goes wrong...” (Goodreads summary). 

Fantasy:

- The Magicians trilogy by Lev Grossman *ADULT* (book 1: The Magicians) “Quentin Coldwater is brilliant but miserable. A senior in high school, he’s still secretly preoccupied with a series of fantasy novels he read as a child, set in a magical land called Fillory. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself unexpectedly admitted to a very secret, very exclusive college of magic in upstate New York, where he receives a thorough and rigorous education in the craft of modern sorcery. He also discovers all the other things people learn in college: friendship, love, sex, booze, and boredom. Something is missing, though. Magic doesn’t bring Quentin the happiness and adventure he dreamed it would. After graduation he and his friends make a stunning discovery: Fillory is real. But the land of Quentin’s fantasies turns out to be much darker and more dangerous than he could have imagined. His childhood dream becomes a nightmare with a shocking truth at its heart” (Goodreads summary).

- The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater *YA* (book 1: The Raven Boys) “What do you know about Welsh kings?” This incredibly atmospheric story centers on a seemingly random group of teens as they uncover the mysterious and magical secrets of their small Virginia town.

- A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab *Suitable for Young Adults* “Kell is one of the last Antari-- magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. Kell was raised in Arnes-- Red London-- and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III  in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see. Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they’ll never see. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treacher lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they’ll first need to stay alive” (Goodreads summary).

- The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien *Suitable for middle-grade through adult* “In ancient times the Rings of Power were crafted by the Elven-smiths, and Sauron, the Dark Lord. forged the One Ring, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all others. But the One Ring was taken form him, and though he sought it throughout Middle-earth, it remained lost to him. After many ages it fell by chance into the hands of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins. When Bilbo reached his eleventy-first birthday he disappeared, bequeathing to his young cousin Frodo the Ruling Ring and a perilous quest: to journey across Middle-earth, deep into the shadow of the Dark Lord, and destroy the Ring by casting it into the Cracks of Doom” (Goodreads summary).

- The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss *Adult* “Told in Kvothe’s own voice, this is the tale of the magically gifted young man who grows to be the most notorious wizard his world has ever seen. The intimate narrative of his childhood in a troupe of traveling players, his years spent as a near-feral orphan in a crime-ridden city, his daringly brazen yet successful bit to enter a legendary school of magic, and his life as a fugitive, and his life as a fugitive after the murder of a king form a gripping coming-of-age story” (Goodreads summary).

- The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch *Adult* “An orphan’s life is harsh-- and often short-- in the mysterious island city of Camorr. But youge Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Loke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game-- or die trying” (Goodreads summary).

Fiction:

- The Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich *ADULT mystery-thrillers/romance* (book 1: One for the Money) “You’ve lost your job as a department store lingerie buyer, your car’s been repossessed, and most of your furniture and small appliances have been sold off to pay last month’s rent. Now the rent is due again. And you live in New Jersey. What do you do? If you’re Stephanie Plum, you become a bounty hunter. But not just a nickel-and-dime bounty hunter; you go after the big money. That means a cop gone bad. And not just any cop. She goes after Joe Morelli, a disgraced former vice cop who is also the man who took Stephanie’s virginity at age 16 and the wrote details on a bathroom wall. With pride and rent money on the line, Plum plunges headlong into her first case, one that pits her against ruthless adversaries - people who’d rather kill than lose” (Goodreads summary).

- The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown *Adult* “While in Paris, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is awakened by a phone call in the dead of the night. The elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum, his body covered in baffling symbols. As Langdon and gifted French cryptologist Sophie Neveu sort through the bizarre riddles, they are stunned to discover a trail of clues hidden in the works of Leonardo da Vinci-- clues visible for all to see and yet ingeniously disguised by the painter. Even more startling, the late curator was involved in the Priory of Sion-- a secret society whose members included Sir Isaac Newton, Victory Hugo, and Da Vici-- and he guarded a breathtaking historical secret. Unless Landon and Neveu can decipher the labyrinthine puzzle-- while avoiding the faceless adversary who shadows their every move-- the explosive, ancient truth will be lost forever” (Goodreads summary).

- Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle *Adult* Sherlock Holmes stories are always fun when stuck at home.

- 11/22/63 by Stephen King *Adult* “Life can turn on a dime-- or stumble into the extraordinary, as it does for Jake Epping, a high school English teacher in Lisbon Falls, Maine. While grading essays by his GED students, Jake reads a gruesome, enthralling piece penned by janitor Harry Dunning: fifty years ago, Harry somehow survived his father’s sledgehammer slaughter of his entire family, Jake is blown away... but an even more bizarre secret comes to light when Jake’s friend Al, owner of the local diner, enlists Jake to take over the mission that has become his obsession-- to prevent the Kennedy assassination. How? By stepping through a portal in the diner’s storeroom, and into the ear of Ike and Elvis, or big American cars, sock hops, and cigarette smoke... Finding himself in warmhearted Jodie, Texas, Jake begins a new life. But all turns in the road lead to a troubled loner named Lee Harvey Oswald. The course of history is about to be rewritten... and become heart-stoppingly suspenseful” (Goodreads summary).

Non-Fiction:

- The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson *Adult* “In 1979 a secret unit was established by the most gifted minds within the U.S. Army. Defying all known accepted military practice-- and indeed, the laws of physics-- they believed that a soldier could adopt a cloak of invisibility, pass cleanly through walls, and, perhaps most chillingly, kill goats just by staring at them. Entrusted with defending America from all known adversaries, they were the First Earth Battalion. And they really weren’t joking. What’s more, they’re back and fighting the War on Terror. With firsthand access to the leading players in the story, Ronson traces the evolution of these bizarre activities over the past three decades and shows how they are alive today within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and in postwar Iraq. Why are they blasting Iraqi prisoners of war with the theme tune to Barney the Purple Dinosaur? Why have 100 debleated goats been secretly placed inside the Special Forces Command Center at Fort Bragg, North Carolina? How was the U.S. military associated with the mysterious mass suicide of a strange cult form San Diego? The Men Who Stare at Goats answers these and many more questions” (Goodreads summary).

- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert *Adult* (I recommend listening to the audiobook, which is narrated by Elizabeth Gilbert) “To recover from [an early midlife crisis, divorce, and depression], Gilbert took a radical step. In order to give herself the time and space to find out who she really was and what she really wanted, she got rid of her belongings, quit her job, and undertook a yearlong journey around the world-- all alone. Eat, Pray, Love is the absorbing chronicle of that year. Her aim was to visit three places where she could examine one aspect of her own nature set against the backdrop of a culture that has traditionally done that one thing very well. In Rome, she studied the art of pleasure, learning to speak Italian and gaining the twenty-three happiest pounds of her life. India was for the art of devotion, and with the help of a native guru and a surprisingly wise cowboy from Texas, she embarked on four uninterrupted months of spiritual exploration. In Bali, she studied the art of balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence. She became the pupil of an elderly medicine man and also fell in love the best way-- unexpectedly” (Goodreads summary).