#anna swift

[intubatedangel]

Pageant Fever : Chapter 4

Been away for a while, life stuff I won't dump on here, other writing projects that I want to keep seperate, and a substantial amount of wasted time. I hadn't realised it had been almost two years though.

But I am alive, and a bit of good news, I have actually fully finished this whole story, there's two more chapters after this one which just need some editing, so I'll be dropping those over the next couple of days.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to all of the people who dropped DM's asking about progress and checking on me. I didn't reply at the time, mostly because I was only checking tumblr rarely so they were often a week or more old, and my head wasn't in the right space for some of that time. But anybody that hasn't been replied, just know I do appreciate the messages, and the drip of activity on my blog has kept it in my mind, even if I struggled to put things onto the page.

I hope you enjoy :)

Story Index    

Pageant Fever: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

* * *

Chapter 4

Lucy frowned at the young woman on the gurney. Sweat continued to roll off Zara's body, and her temperature was still rising, despite the large chemical cold packs that had been slapped around her body. Her muscles continued to twitch randomly, but Lucy wasn't sure if it was the sheer internal heat, an electrolyte imbalance from the sweating, an active infection attacking the nerves, or something Zara had ingested. Or even a combination. It wasn't just Zara's peripheral muscles that were affected. The monitor alarmed, showing her rapid chaotic heart rate, letting out an additional warning noise each time Zara's heart threw off a PVC. They were becoming more frequent. On top of that Zara's breathing was plainly ineffective. Every so often she would give a gasp or grunt, but she couldn't support her own oxygen levels, forcing Lucy to continue breathing for her with the ambu bag.

Lucy knew there was little more she and Dave could do in the ambulance. Without knowing what was happening inside Zara, the best they could do was fight to keep her alive, until they could get to the hospital, where Lucy hoped the team there would be able to figure out the cause of Zara's current state. She watched Dave as he finished inserting an assortment of drugs intended to reduce the fever. There had been no effect so far, Zara's rising temperature ticking up to 41C. If it got much higher, or lasted a long time, there was a risk for severe, permanent damage to Zara's organs and brain.

Dave knew it too. "Steve, what's our ETA?" He shouted to the front.

"3 minutes." Was the reply.

"Make it 2 if you can!"

* * *

Anna had trailed Carl as he continued preparing for his incoming patient, alerting facilities staff that they would need an ice bath in Resus 3, then gathering the team of nurses, Trish was there and Kirstie, along with two Anna hadn't worked with before, a short but powerfully built man called Jamie, and an older agency nurse whose name tag identified her as Marie. Lastly was Tilly. She stood back and watched as they donned their protective gear, green plastic gowns with long sleeves, sealed by gloves, along with close fitting masks and full face visors, their names quickly scrawled in marker along the head band.

They all assembled outside the ambulance entrance, Carl quickly going over a few points and procedures he wanted done as soon as possible. Anna stayed back just a little, she didn't want to distract him as he got his plans together. She watched Tilly instead. The student nurse was no longer practically vibrating with eagerness. She was almost totally still, but not in a tension clenched way. She was simply focused, alert and prepared. Ready to do whatever she was asked. As she had told Anna earlier, she was in the zone.

The sound of sirens started to cut through the background noise of the city, rapidly growing louder as the ambulance raced towards them along the road parallel to the river. It reached a near ear splitting volume as the ambulance came out of the shadow of a nearby building, its lights flashing brightly despite the dazzling midday sun. The ambulance shot past the front of the hospital, turning tightly into the access road and pulling around in front of them.

Anna lingered back as the team stepped forward and pulled open the rear doors of the ambulance. As the gurney was pulled out, she heard Carl's commanding voice take charge.

"What have we got?" He asked. They already had many of the details, but it was always wise to double check anything that might have been missed in the relay of radio calls. Out the corner of her eye, Anna noticed an older woman climb out of the front of the ambulance, evidently their patients mother.

"Zara Chamarthi, 21. Initial instance of syncope followed by a seizure. Post seizure she presented with an SVT rhythm, converted to sinus tach after 2 shocks. She's pyrexic with a temperature of 41.2 and still rising. Resps are diminished and being supported by BVM. Heart rate of 170 with multifocal PVC's. No reported history of seizures, no prior signs of illness or reports of drug use and no reported medications either." Lucy replied as the team started moving towards the entrance Standing back, Anna couldn't help but feel like that was very little to go on. It would make the team's job even harder, leaving them managing symptoms until they could discover the cause and treat the actual problem.

Clearly Carl thought so too. "Okay then let’s get her inside, prepare for an RSI before we put her in the ice bath. I want a central line in to monitor her core temperature and get some blood off to the labs, put a rush on the full blood count and basic tox screen. In the meantime, let's start her on..." As the team accelerated away from her Carl's voice dwindled as he rattled off a range of drugs. Anna had hung back, opting to make herself useful.

She stepped towards the older woman, who seemed to be shambling after her daughter with slow, stunned footsteps. Anna intercepted her with a gentle touch on her shoulder. "Are you her mother?" She asked quietly.

The older woman nodded, looking at Anna with widened eyes, but said nothing.

"Come with me." Anna told her softly. "I'll show you through."

* * *

Tilly kept a few paces ahead of the gurney as the team rushed towards the resus bays, pushing a set of doors open with another student nurse, then leapfrogging the rattling gurney to get the doors into Bay 3. As they entered she took note of the ice bath set up a short distance from the bed. A technician was there just finishing up laying out a set of straps on the bed, which could be connected to the integrated hoist on the ice bath. The bath itself was already full, a layer of ice cubes floating on the surface as the water churned slightly, a pump circulating the water through a refrigeration unit.

As the rest of the team moved the ambulances gurney to the trauma bed, Tilly circled around to the crash cart, extracting a laryngoscope and, with a quick glance back at the girl being lifted over, a 6.5mm ET tube. She then opened a different drawer, her hands moving straight to the drugs she had checked just a handful of minutes ago. She placed everything onto a tray and moved over to the head of the bed as the others finished arranging Zara on the bed.

Trish was already readying the central line, while Carl came around, glanced at the tray and gave Tilly a quick nod. He turned to Lucy. "Pre oxygenate her please. Tilly?" He asked, turning to the student nurse. She looked up attentively. "Have you assisted on an intubation before?"

"Only in a surgical setting practically. I know the theory on emergency RSI's though." She told him.

"Good, can you apply cricoid pressure when I ask you?"

Tilly nodded, flexing her fingers in preparation.

Carl flashed her a quick, comforting smile. "On my mark then." He turned to Lucy and gave her a quick nod.

The paramedic nodded in reply and backed off, bringing the ambu bag with her, holding it ready in case there were complications. Carl drifted around to the right angle and slid the laryngoscope into Zara's mouth, pushing the blade in and pulling back to open the young woman's airway and give him a view of her vocal cords.

"Cricoid on." He said, his eyes still focused on Zara's trachea.

Tilly placed her fingers on the hard ring of cartilage around Zara's trachea and pushed it down, blocking the oesophagus to prevent aspiration.

"Good." Carl muttered, as he eased the lubricated tube down until only a few inches stuck out of Zara's mouth. "Very good. Check the placement for me." He told her, as he held out a hand towards Lucy for the bag.

Tilly had the briefest moment of looking around, before realising she had a stethoscope around her neck. She pulled it off and plugged it into her ears, before grabbing the bell and lowering it Zara's naked chest.

Carl squeezed the bag steadily, his hand clenching firmly, but gradually.

"Left air entry." Tilly said, before moving the head of the scope to the right side of Zara's chest. Carl squeezed the bag again. "Right air entry. Placement seems good."

"Excellent. Let's get her on the vent and prepare her for the ice bath. Until we know what's going on, our first priority is bringing her temperature down."

* * *

Anna gently guided Jaya through the emergency entrance and towards the Resus room. They proceeded slowly, Jaya's steps shambling and slow, as if walking through treacle. Anna felt a keen wave of sympathy as she imagined what the woman must be feeling. It was one thing to understand it conceptually, but now that she was a mother herself, Anna felt it in a way she hadn't before.

They reached Resus 3 as Tilly was securing the ET tube with a blue holder and Carl was attaching the ventilator. At the same time Trish finished with the central line, the large double port catheter inserted just below the left side of Zara's collarbone. She attached a bag of chilled saline to one port and grabbed one of the small wires dangling from the ports, connecting it to a lead attached to the monitor, the young woman's core temperature appearing on the screen.

Another nurse, one of Tilly's fellow students judging by the fact that Anna didn't recognise the name written on the visor, was drawing a blood sample from the IV in Zara's arm. She quickly capped it and handed the sample to a tech who was waiting just inside the door. The young man hurried out, rushing towards the elevator and the labs.

Anna watched him go, then looked to the monitor. From this distance she couldn't make out much in the way of detail, but the flashing portions were more than enough to tell her that the young woman was in a critical condition. Temperature, heart rate, BP, o2 sat and pulse readings, all were flashing in alarm. The team was bustling around her body, pushing ordered drugs into the various IV's, inserting a foley catheter or readying the straps of the hoist.

With a minute they were ready, drawing the young woman up into the air. They proceeded carefully, making sure no lines, leads or hoses got disconnected as they swung her over the small distance to the tub. The nurses steadied her as the hoist lowered her down into the gently churning water, then they quickly arranged her, keeping her face above the surface but otherwise submerging as much of Zara's overheating body as they could. Not that there was much danger of her drowning in the tub, with the ventilator forcing air into her lungs regularly.

Despite all the efforts the team were making, Anna had a bad feeling. She turned to Jaya, who seemed to be clutching her handbag tight to her chest as she stared through the window. "Let me show you to the relatives room." She said, easing the older woman back from the glass and shepherding her down the corridor to a door with just a narrow window in it. Inside were a number of comfortable chairs and couches, arrayed around small coffee tables. Anna showed Jaya to a couch, noting how she never let up her grip on the handbag. It was common for relatives to hold onto their belongings in such circumstances, seeking comfort. But the way Jaya held the handbag seemed far more defensive, almost as if her overriding concern was protecting it.

Anna settled into an adjacent chair, waiting patiently, ready to answer any questions or to offer comfort, but Jaya remained in stony silence, staring at the floor. Between that and her strange behaviour with the bag, Anna started to feel unsettled. She couldn't be totally sure, people responded to these situations in a myriad of different ways, but this... It felt wrong to Anna.

"Would you like some coffee? Or tea or water?" Anna asked, breaking the subdued quiet.

Jaya remained silent, simply shaking her head once.

"Okay. I'll go and see if there is any news." Anna said, pushing herself up from the chair and heading to the door, unable to shake her unease.

* * *

After the frantic activity of those first minutes, Resus 3 had become almost still. They'd administered the ordered drugs and gotten Zara situated in the ice bath, now there was very little for the team to do but wait, for the results to come back from the blood test, or for Zara's condition to change in some way. Which so far hadn't happened. Even with the ice bath Zara's core temperature was 41.7, beyond a normal high-grade fever. She was well into the range of irreparable organ damage if her temperature didn't fall soon. The fact that the young beauties temperature hadn't changed despite the icy water circulating around her was a bad sign.

Tilly knelt beside the ice bath, one hand reaching into the water to cradle Zara's head. An inflated pillow kept her face above the surface, but it was always sensible to be extra careful. Even with an ET tube ostensibly occluding Zara's airway, there was no benefit in risking aspiration. It was uncomfortable for Tilly, the ice cold water turned her hand numb within a minute, forcing her to change hands every couple of minutes. She did her best to recover by clamping her free hand into her armpit, not even noticing the large damp patches forming on her scrubs under her arms as the fabric wicked away the water.

Around her, other nurses kept eye's on the monitors, pumps and ventilator, while Carl stood by the computer, fingers drumming on the desk as he scrolled through a database after inputting Zara's symptoms, while he waited on the results of the quick tox screen and full blood counts. There was an alerting chime as the results arrived in the inbox. Tilly glanced over to see Carl frowning as he looked through the results.

That was the moment the door clattered, drawing Tilly's attention. She watched Anna step into the room, the senior nurse quickly taking in the readings on the monitors, before she headed over to Carl. Tilly rearranged her hands again, keeping an ear out for the conversation.

"Any results yet?" Anna asked.

"They just came through," Carl shook his head, "no signs of infection, nothing on the quick tox panel, she's clean for every party drug and common pharmaceutical."  He started pulling off the PPE. Despite the decent climate control in the trauma rooms, the extra gear was still stifling. The nurses followed suit, Marie quietly helping Tilly as she kept one hand in the water.

"What could it be then?" Anna asked.

Carl turned back to the computer, refining the database search. "If we eliminate street drugs, and viral or bacterial causes it narrows it down." There was still plenty of results, more than they could possibly test for. "At this point the two most likely causes are a brain tumour affecting the hypothalamus, though I doubt we can get her through CT in her current condition to confirm." He looked over at the beauty pageant contestant in the tub and sighed. "But I'm leaning towards this." He said, pointing at the second result on the screen.

Tilly watched Anna lean close as she read the entry. "2,4-dinitrophenol poisoning?"

"It's supposed to be an industrial chemical, but," Carl grimaced, "it's also sold on black markets as a weight loss drug. Exactly what a beauty pageant entrant wants to give them the perfect figure. In simplified terms, it burns away fat, quite literally." He said, indicating the temperature readout on the monitor. It was now wavering between 41.7 and 41.8, the cooling bath having no effect.

"Is there any treatment?" Anna asked him, looking sadly over at Zara.

"There's no antidote. It's not a common occurrence and there isn't much research on it. Even mild exposure can be fatal." Carl tapped away on the keyboard, inputting orders. "There's some treatments that we can try, but they carry risks that might make things worse if we're wrong."

Anna stood there, frowning. "Her mother..."

Carl glanced at her, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"She seemed very protective of her handbag. I'm worried you're right, but worse, I'm scared it wasn't even her idea." Anna murmured, nodding at the young woman in the tub.

Carl stood up slowly, leaning closer to Anna, speaking in a low voice that Tilly could only just make out. "I can talk to her if you want, you aren't on the clock." There was something he didn't put into words but was clear between them.

Anna touched his arm appreciatively but gave a small shake of her head. "I'll do it. I'm a mother too, maybe I can get through to her. Get the treatments ready." She said her fingers lingering on his arm as she turned away and headed for the door. Carl returned to typing away furiously, while Tilly watched Anna go.

There was a small splash, Tilly jerking in surprise, worried she'd let her mind wander off, but it wasn't her doing. The splashing grew more vigorous as Zara's body began to convulse. "She's seizing!" Tilly shouted, reaching into the water with both arms to support the trembling figure in the bath.

[anna-scribbles]

if you imagine an animatic hard enough it should come true

[oldstuffilikealotandstuff]

When men are anonymously commenting on a woman's appearance online:

[exactlyhow]

@sketiana on tumblr // Clementine Von Radics, James // Nicole Homer, Underbelly // unknown // Taylor Swift, You're On Your Own Kid // Speeches for Dr Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood // Anna Akhmatova, tr. by Lenore Mayhew and William Mcnaughton, from Poem Without A Hero and Selected Poems; “In a dream”

[ourstaturestouchtheskies]

Eve – Anna Lea Merritt // The Prophecy – Taylor Swift

[assortedmelons]

Celebrity Melons

[hephaestn]

All Creatures Great and Small (2020) — Season 5, Episode 2: Holding the Baby

[graceisinthelibrary]

The best of Audrey Hall in S5 of All Creatures great and small ♥️

[yerdaftapeth]

Holding the Baby (5x02) Goodness, the electricity in this scene! ✨

Siegfried fiercely defending and protecting her by taking the blame for the curtains that came loose. Audrey lost for words when he admits he waited up for her past midnight to make sure "she's accounted for." Her raising her eyebrows but secretly adoring the thought of him being unable to rest until he knows she's safe and back home. Then the both of them acting as if him doing that for her is the most natural thing in the world.

Siegfried & Audrey exasperating Bosworth like a pair of silly schoolkids whilst being reprimanded in the principal's office. Siegfried immediately seizing the opportunity to offer her a nightcap after Mr. Bosworth sees himself out. I saw what you did there, Siegfried Donald Farnon. I heard: "I desperately crave your presence and nearness so we can talk about our son Tristan and reminisce and laugh giddily, and act like the married couple I want us to be. Oh, and also: no superlative exists to sufficiently describe how I feel about you not leaving me.”

His "You sure you don't want a drink?" - trying to persuade her once again to sit with him for a while. Her promptly shifting back into employer/employee mode by giving him a mere "Goodnight Mr. Farnon." Yes girl: you're knackered but the lad has been waiting up for you ALL evening. Then his whimsical, foreseeing grin when she skedaddles. The man is completely infatuated with her and he’s fully aware of it. Yes, I like this scene. 🧡

[xtra7s]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Writing Requests are open! you can request here, I will write for pretty much any women. I mainly write for fem/nonb perspectives. I'll write for anything, just lmk!

my favorite women are Reneé Rapp<3, Jenna Ortega, Taylor Swift, Aubrey Plaza, Margot Robbie, Natasha Lyonne, Florence pugh, Anna Kendrick, Alycia Deb-Nam Carey, Mikey Madison, and Lauren Jauregui. ────

𝗝𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗢𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗮

Best Birthday Ever (wlw) 1.7k words ⤷part 1

⤷part 2

(drabble) Toxic Lover Jenna Ortega x fem!reader 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗽

Forever Will Last Renee Rapp x fem!reader 955 words

Thick And Thin Renee Rapp x fem!reader 800 words

Something Special Renee Rapp x fem!reader 1.5k words

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Fighters Muse Renee Rapp x fem!reader 1.5k

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Afterglow Renee Rapp x gn!reader 2.7k words

Pancakes And Migraines Renee Rapp x gn!reader 1.3k

Eclipsed Renee Rapp x gn!reader 2k words

Broadway Reunion Renee Rapp x gn!reader 2.7k words

Fireflies Renee Rapp x fem!reader 1.8k words

Pretty Girls Renee Rapp x fem!reader

⤷ part 1

⤷ part 2

⤷ part 3

She's Back Regina George x gn!reader 3.2k words

Study Date Regina George x fem!reader 1.2k words

Monarchs Crumbling Consort Regina George x fem!reader 2.2 words

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Dance With Destiny Leighton Murray x gn!reader 1.9k words

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Equations Leighton Murray x fem!reader 2.8k words

⤷part 1

⤷part 2

Pink and orange Leighton Murray x fem!reader 1.5k words

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

Ethereal Billie Eilish x fem!reader 2.2k+ words

Lullabies Billie Eilish x gn!reader 1.1k words

𝐀𝐮𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐚

Backshots g!p aubrey plaza x fem!reader 1.5k

[reputayswift]

So you think we can go head to head in the most ambitious time slot in television, millions of people watching us, and just...keep catching up like old friends? Is that ridiculous? It's ambitious. Good.

▸ Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus // Taylor Swift

↳ for @julesblackthorns & @darcyolsson

[intubatedangel]

Pageant Fever : Chapter 5

As promised :)

Story Index    

Pageant Fever: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

* * *

Tilly ignored the water splashing across the front of her scrubs as she reached in deeper to get both hands under Zara's shoulders, using her forearms to support the beauty's head as her whole body convulsed wildly in the ice bath. Alarms began to chorus from the monitors in a cacophony of tones and chimes.

"Get her back on the bed!" Carl's voice cut through the commotion of alarms, as other nurses rushed to help. Tilly continued to support Zara's head as the sling whirred and lifted her out of the churning water. Her limbs twitched and shook, muscles driven by random and chaotic electrical signals cascading through her nervous system. The other nurses helped to protect the lines and contain the worst of the thrashing to keep her in the sling. Meanwhile Carl had dragged the crash cart right up next to the bed and was drawing some drugs into a syringe. He grabbed the IV even as Zara was being carefully swung over the bed, fingers slipping along its length to find the inline port. "Pushing diazepam, 10mg."

The sling lowered Zara's naked body onto the trauma bed. As soon as it went slack, the bands were unhooked and left to fall loose over the sides of the bed, ignored. With Zara's body twitching madly, trying to remove the sling from beneath her would be impractical.

Tilly remained at the head of the bed, following her training. Her hands cradled Zara's head gently. She didn't hold tightly, or try to fight Zara's convulsive movements. Her hands merely offered a cushion for Zara's head to bounce off, keeping it contained and protecting the ventilator hose. The integrated bite block of the tube holder also proved its worth, as even from this angle Tilly could see how tightly Zara's jaw was clenched.

She spared a glance at the monitor, but the chaos of the seizure produced enough artefacting that the ECG reading was a garbled mess matching the strident alarms. The diazepam began to take effect, the seizure slowing, becoming less intense. Then in a split second it stopped completely, Zara falling totally limp on the bed.

But the monitor continued its alarming. Tilly shifted her fingers to the carotid pulse point. After a few seconds she looked up at Carl and shook her head. He sighed. "Pulseless V-tach. Someone get on her chest and ready the defib."

* * *

As Anna walked back to the relatives room, she tried to quell the unease boiling inside her. This was going to be a difficult conversation. Not just because Jaya's daughter was in such a precarious condition, but also because Anna was about to accuse her of causing Zara's potentially lethal predicament. She stopped outside the door and took a deep breath, steeling herself, then opened the door.

Jaya was still sat on the couch staring at the floor, statuesque, her arms still wrapped protectively around the handbag. She didn't even look up as Anna entered the room.

"Mrs. Chamarthi." Anna said as she stepped over to the couch opposite Jaya, a squat coffee table separating the two. "Mrs. Chamarthi." Anna repeated, slightly sterner, finally forcing the older woman to look up at her. "Zara is in a very critical condition. We need to know if she has taken anything. Anything at all. I'm not talking about party drugs." Anna drew in another breath, studying Jaya intently. "Has she ever used anything she might have bought online? Something for weight loss?"

When Jaya's arms tensed around the handbag, Anna froze, feeling her stomach drop. She was right. She took a moment to settle herself, cutting off a flare of anger before it could build. It was clear that Jaya had seen the realisation on Anna's face when her eye's flicked back to the floor and stayed there.

"Mrs Chamarthi." Anna's voice softened. "If you know anything. You need to tell us. I'm sure you didn't mean for any of this to happen. The criminals who sell these drugs never mention the side effects. But you need to understand." She paused, picturing her own daughter, imagining the effects her next word would have on herself. "Zara is very ill. It is likely that even with the right treatments, she won't survive. The only chance she has is if we know what she took, and every second matters right now."

For the longest moment, Jaya remained stoney faced and silent, then she cracked. Her face crumpled and she let out a sob. "I'm so sorry. I didn't..." Her words chocked off, but her arms released the tight grip on the hand bag and her hand reached inside, pulling out a cardboard box, the same kind you'd have for any over the counter medicine. She dropped it on the table as she buried her face in her hands.

Anna pushed herself to her feet, picking up the box on the way and made for the door. As she headed towards Resus 3 she examined the box closer. It was obviously not a real product. The cardboard was flimsy, the artwork upon it clearly printed on an old domestic printer, complete with streaky lines and a strange colour shift where one of the colour cartridges had run out. It also lacked any of the information you'd find on a real pharmaceutical product. No ingredients list, no dosage, no side effects. She opened it up carefully, almost surprised to see that the pills were at least in a blister pack instead of completely loose. They were small and yellow, with no identifying markings, but they matched the description of dangerous black market 2,4-DNP pills that had been on the database. Her heart sank as she reached Resus 3 and looked through the doors to see Zara's body shaking rhythmically as her chest was brutally compressed.

* * *

Jamie took up the first round of compressions, his huge hands making Zara look small on the trauma bed. There was so much power in his frame that it looked to Tilly as if he was barely making any effort. Tilly herself had detached the ventilator and fixed the yellow ambu bag to Zara's ET tube, pumping the bag steadily every few seconds. Trish was managing the drugs, drawing the first round to be ready for Carl's order, while Kirstie had taken up the chart to record the details. Marie had set the defib to charge, before she grabbed a towel and did her best to dry off Zara's chest, careful to avoid dislodging any electrodes. She dropped the towel behind her without ceremony, quickly checking that the still attached Combo Pads had stayed firmly secured. She gave a Carl a nod as she retreated, his finger hovering over the shock button on the defibrillator.

A few moments later the machine let out the double bleep of a readied charge. "Everyone clear." Carl said, waiting a moment as Tilly plucked off the ambu bag and Jamie held up his hands, leaning back slightly on the step that stuck out from the trauma beds bottom rail. "Shocking." He said, finger twitching against the button. The machine delivered the shock, Zara's body giving a sharp spasm on the bed. Everyone's gaze turned to the monitor, watching the momentary chaos of the shock return to the sawtooth of V-tach.  "No response, resume compressions and bagging, give her one of adrenaline and a round of atropine. We'll shock again in 1 minute."

The jumped back into action, Trish reaching for the IV with the already prepared drugs in hand. Jamie was already back in position, tilting his weight into Zara's chest before Tilly had even picked the up the bag again. She almost had to snatch the end of the tube as Jamie's compressions forced Zara's entire body to rock in rhythm on the bed. The bed itself rattled as the force translated into the frame. Tilly was aware of all the motion around her, perfectly alert to everything, including the slight squeak of the door as it opened, as Anna returned. Tilly looked over her shoulder, still squeezing the bag. The expression on Anna's face was a grim one, and in her hand was a small box.

Carl let out a sigh. "Trish." He said, nodding at the defib as she finished inserting the ALS drugs. He stepped out of the group around the bed, heading around to Anna. Anna flashed Tilly a sad smile before turning to her husband.

* * *

"It was these." She said, handing over the box. "The pills match the description." She sighed as Carl opened the box and tipped the blister of pills into his hand. "Just one. Just one pill did this to her." Anna voice was filled with her melancholy and second-hand regret. Carl looked them over, then put them back in the box. He took a couple of steps away, to place the box by the computer, making sure it was out of the way and wouldn't accidently get cleaned away. "Is there anything more we can do?"

Carl looked over at Zara and gave a half shrug. "A hemoperfusion machine is on its way down. We'll give it a try, but once things have progressed this far..." He blew out a breath. "It's already in her cells. There won't be much in her blood stream to filter out." Anna's head dropped and she leaned into him slightly. He gave her a short embrace. "We'll still give her every chance we can."

"I know you will." Anna whispered, before easing back from him, letting him get back to work. She crossed her arms, holding herself tightly as she leaned back against the desk watching the team do their best.

"Marie, can you get hemoperfusion access in one of her legs, just like lines for dialysis?" Carl asked over the sounds of the attempts to save Zara. She nodded and paused for just a moment as she counted off cupboards, then headed directly to the correct one. Anna was mildly impressed by that. A lot of agency nurses could struggle with the location of various items, especially those that were rarely used. Anna herself couldn't remember the last time she'd needed to be in that cupboard while a patient was in the room. Marie was coming back with the wrapped-up tray when the telltale bleeps of the defib rang out.

Trish ordered the team to pause once again, and Anna watched on as Zara's entire body twitched savagely as the shock jolted through her. A shiver ran down Anna's spine, one of her hands drifting down to the scars on her abdomen. This was the same room where the battle for her own life had almost been lost. She still had real no memory of that day. By the time she was in this room her heart had already stopped. But even before that, there was little more than flashes, and the almost certainly imagined formless void where she had fought against the encroaching darkness. She steeled herself. She was coming back to work here. She had to face it head on.

The mood in the room dropped a notch, as the ringing alarm of the monitor persisted, but the trace on the screen changed, the high peaked saw teeth giving way to the more randomly shivering chaos of ventricular fibrillation. Zara's heart was now shuddering within her chest, desperately trying to beat, but unable to do so.

* * *

"Ok, she's in VF. Tilly, can you take over compressions?" Carl asked as he held out a hand for the ambu bag.

"Yeah." She replied, moving around as Jamie stepped back. She climbed up, weaving her fingers together as she did, bringing them to rest on Zara's sternum. She could feel the heat of the young woman's skin. Even though she had lost circulation, the fire inside her was still burning, consuming the energy of her cells, turning it into the heat that was destroying her. She took a split second to adjust the position of her hands, unnoticeable to any of the others, lining them up perfectly the deliver the best chest compressions she could. This was only the second time she had done them on a real living person. Or real dying person, she considered, her hands plunging down two inches, forcing down Zara's ribs and crushing her heart against her spine to artificially pump blood through her body.

"Good." Carl encouraged her. "Kneel on the bed if you need more leverage." He advised. Tilly simply nodded, recognising the benefits of the suggestion, but not wanting to break the rhythm she had already found. It was such a repetitive motion, she was able to keep track of what was going around her. Marie had gotten the large double lumen catheter unpacked and had pulled Zara's leg to one side, taking a stance looking towards Zara's gently waving feet. She used one arm to restrain the leg and find the spot, as she deftly lined up the catheter itself for insertion.

Behind Tilly the door squeaked again, a technician entering with the hemoperfusion machine. It was similar to a dialysis machine, in form as well as function. The key difference was the precise form of filtration. Unlike the standard dialysis machine, the one for hemoperfusion used a cartridge containing either activated charcoal, or in this case, a special resin that would bind toxins without affecting the primary blood cells.

"Over there, get it ready please." Carl told the technician, who look somewhat incredulous at the scene before him. Hemoperfusion was occasionally brought down to the trauma rooms on an emergency basis, but not during active resuscitation measures. Tilly could almost see him thinking You're closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. But, he clearly wasn't paid enough to contradict one of the most notable doctors working at the hospital. He rolled the machine to the bottom of the bed, assisting Marie with getting it setup. They quickly primed the lines, flushing them of air and ensuring the connection to the filtering column was secure. The input and output lines from the machine were attached to the respective ports on the catheter and moments later Zara's blood was being pumped through the circuit, where the biochemical resin in the column leached out toxins.

"Right, that's almost 2 minutes since the last shock." Carl announced, foregoing the interim minute so that the hemoperfuser could be sorted. Trish set the defib to charge, while Tilly maintained her compressions. She was beginning to feel the strain in her back, and when the defib was ready and Carl ordered the team to clear Zara's body, she was grateful to lean back and stretch it out. The shock jolted Zara's body, her arm flicking out to the edge of the bed, her fingers falling just over the side, nails clinking against the lowered rail almost imperceptibly.

"No change." Trish told the team, even though they were all looking at the monitor.

"Let's keep it going." Carl said, "Give her another round of drugs. If we get a pulse back she might have a chance." His tone gave away his lack of confidence in even that first step. But Tilly caught the way his eyes glanced over at Anna. He'd seen what some would call a miracle before.

* * *

Anna looked into Carl's eyes during that short glance. He wasn't in too deep. There were times he would throw his entire sense of self into his work, fighting against the grimmest odds to the point of sacrificing a part of himself. She knew she was included in that data set, and was eternally thankful. But that wasn't what she saw when their eyes met. He was looking to her for direction. Submitting to her emotional involvement in this case. As a mother. Anna gave the tiniest smile, recognising his belief in her, but she shook her head ever so slightly as she dropped her gaze. She'd seen the database results about the chemical, she knew how bad this was. Her heart ached for the girl on the bed, and that girl's mother, who Anna desperately hoped had only the best intentions. But this wasn't a time to go all-in. Play it out, give it the best shot you had, but no one would argue with the outcome in this situation.

Anna watched as Tilly clambered onto the gurney, kneeling beside Zara to gain the better leverage as her hands landed on the young woman's chest, glistening as sweat continued to well out of every pore. Zara's chest collapsed inwards and sprung back with each compression, an artificial beating her of heart that showed on the monitor beneath the chaotic electrical activity. The room had gone quiet, settling into that grim routine when there was little else to do but persist with their current interventions. The bed clinked, wires and tubes rattling against the frame, while the hemoperfusion machine hummed. The ice bath, almost forgotten, gurgled as it's water circulated needlessly. The monitor's alarms continued to ring, but faded into the background for the team. They'd be aware of any change in the tones, but otherwise it was simply ignored.

A glance at the clock told Anna that it had been around five minutes since Zara's heart had lost it's rhythm. There was still time. Still a sliver of hope. But both were trickling away.

[anna-scribbles]

had to dig up this doodle from 2 years ago that is somehow once again relevant now that the last installment of bakery enemies is coming out tomorrow on the same day that taylor is releasing an album

[joanofexys]

with the digital guillotine going on right now here’s a reminder of another great thing you can do to inconvenience these celebrities/cost them money:

if they run a business (skims and rare beauty are the big two off the top of my head) go to their website and put as much in your cart as possible. go to checkout and start the check out process. and let it sit there

even better if you have the money to do so, make a purchase from one of their sites, wait until it says it’s shipping, and then contact the company for a return and refund. they have to pay the shipping fees there and back and return your money. if people start doing this in large amounts these companies could lose a significant amount of profit

simply participating in the blockout is doing a lot. celebrities who are rapidly losing their platforms are scrambling to make statements already. but if you can cause them some extra inconvenience i suggest you do

and just a few people on my blocklist: lana del ray, taylor swift, brittany broski, hayley bayley, lizzo, taylor nation, the kardashian’s and jenner’s, and beyoncé

[legliquor469]

The top 30 celebrity females whose shoes I would sniff, toes I would suck on, and legs I would lick, kiss, fondle and cum all over!!!!!

[aphrodicci]

interesting observation i've made, [also an observation i've made by consistencies in astrology but there's people who tried to shade me and say that consistencies is not involved in astrology when that is literally what astrology is about].

the observation is that whenever someone who is pale-skinned/white or just have coloured eyes; and they end up getting intense blue eyes, there is usually something plutonic/scorpio going on in their chart. [moon, sun and asc aspects important in this].

my MANY examples list

adriana lima has moon conj pluto and her sun trine pluto, ian somerhalder is a scorpio venus, scorpio dominant and pluto dominant and we have, katy perry is a scorpio sun, moon and ascendant, scorpio and pluto dominant.

anna speckhart the reason why i made this post, i saw a video of her and i was like she definitely has to be a scorpio placement and i searched and found out she's a scorpio sun and mars, scott van der sluis [love island], i remember him being either a scorpio venus/mars? and margot robbie is a scorpio moon, is scorpio dominant and pluto dominant.

angelina jolie has moon opposite pluto, jared leto has sun square pluto, pluto trine the ascendant and olivia wilde is a scorpio mars and scorpio dominant.

zooey deschanel is a scorpio dominant, wentworth miller has his sun aspecting pluto and taylor swift is a scorpio ascendant, scorpio dominant and pluto dominant.

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