Tumgik
#anyway as always. i am not personally mad at anyone
theminecraftbee · 1 year
Note
Ok, so I want to ask, because I want to write something with Watchers and Pearl, what would you say are the biggest sins to her character on watcher!Grian fics? I have a few ones in mind, but I'm curious on the opinion of other person
...okay so the thing is. i think... okay. so, to start: this isn't a knock on people who like sky siblings, or like writing grian and pearl as friends who lost each other because of evo, or all of that. i want to get that out of the way. hell, look at last days! i wrote some sky siblings! i get it!
okay. that paragraph is out of the way.
so. a problem i have with watcher grian fics in general is a tendency to reduce everyone to "guy to comfort grian" or "guy who is vessel for grian angst". and to some extent THIS IS FAIR. because it is a fic about grian. so, therefore, most of how we see other characters interact... will be in the context of grian.
however.
when pearl first joined hermitcraft and people were like "oh yeah she was in evo and on grian's build team". it suddenly felt like people... were only excited about her in the context of "how do we add this to the watcher grian canon". they made her grian's sibling, but only would characterize her in the context of "she is grian's buddy". and the type of pearl-related watcher grian angst i dislike... well. it almost always tends to focus on how sad grian is that he can't remember pearl. or how scared he is to tell pearl about what happened. and. pearl's existence in those fics revolves around how she makes grian feel and... nothing else.
and for a little bit, it felt like all the pearl headcanons weren't pearl headcanons. they were grian headcanons. pearl was just there to add to the world of grian. and it soured me. it soured me a lot. and the thing is, as i said: pearl and grian ARE friends and i DO get the sibling headcanons but oftentimes it felt like they were done solely to make grian a more interesting character, with no regard for pearl, who is plenty cool on her own, away from grian, you know?
anyway the fandom isn't as bad about that now - soup group helped a lot with this, and then double life also helped a lot with disabusing people of a lot of the worst of this. people having new groups and themes and things to do with pearl and pearl being less new helps. the biggest headcanon about pearl is no longer a headcanon about her relationship with a completely different person.
but like. you know. gestures vaguely. i still remember and so it's one more thing that makes me more wary of that genre.
110 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 2 months
Text
.
#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner#so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively#nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way#but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop#i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together#nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done#then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth#when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?'#'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting'#i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room#but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive#so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner#she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to#but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything#she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of#idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone#and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao#i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden#nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd#like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library#i wnna show my mom what books i got#it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality#why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks#anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to
9 notes · View notes
placeinthisworld · 1 year
Text
.
51 notes · View notes
i know this is a thing that Literally Everyone says, but some people really do need to stop viewing their personal headcanons as Facts.
4 notes · View notes
lesbiradshaw · 1 year
Text
the scene of liam collapsed onto the forest floor in front of scott sobbing about how he’s scared of what’s happening to him not because of the fangs or the claws but because he thinks his parents already view him as a monster breaks me a little inside every time.
29 notes · View notes
noriakicatkyoin · 2 years
Text
Diversity win! Guy i dont like no longer kins kakyoin
#outing myself as a moron making this post anyway i have been waiting a year for this guy to realize this why because im spiteful#how do u kin kakyoin and ignore that hes like a little mean spirited for the funnies. a little hatred pilled. are you insane#this is a case of me getting mad about him being mischaracterized but im sorry it will forever make me angry#kakyoin is like the worlds worst autistic bc hes not socially unaware. he is TOO socially aware in the WRONG direction#thinks he knows SO much about socializing to the point he GIVES UP because its pointless#and HATES anyone who blindsides him socially and plays stupid games with him bc he sees it as cowardly#like that is the thing ? kakyoin is a speak now or hold your peace while i kill you kind of guy lol .#hes not uwu shy damaged and hurt guy who wishes he knew how to make friends#bro is crazy and didnt realize he was suffering from self imposed isolation#bro overly percieved his own weirdness and couldnt see himself intrinsically tied to another person (cough cough aroace)#and was like wow nobody understands me and im aware of this i am so Different tm i need to never attach to anyone bc theres no point#he has to have that attachment almost forced onto him (tho to save his life i.e. jotaro deworming him) for it to register as a possibility#he never creates an avenue for others to truly get close to or understand him bc he doesnt think they can#but then whenever he learns its possible then its just a game of him slowly allowing his walls to fall back and his mask to peel#and then his mask for himself also begins to peel and he realizes how hurt hes always been bc he doesnt even Realize#bc loneliness is All hes known#i lost the plot but also i think i accidentally just got myself out of writers block i know the missing piece i needed to come up-#with my fic ending. ohhhh boy#ohhhh yeah baby#l8r#youve given me unnecessary feelings
7 notes · View notes
tenitchyfingers · 1 year
Text
You hate men??
Tumblr media
I’m sorry honey hope you go to therapy really soon
2 notes · View notes
revvywevvy · 1 year
Text
i'd like to make an announcement me and pyrrha were talking and have decided pat/rok/los. u r disowned. sorry patty-cake but the next time u enter the line of sight of either of us you will be eradicated with the power of gay. mostly by pyrrha. sorry not sorry.
#cell mumbles#cw incest mention#cw f slur#cw yandere#//<- srry just bc I mention those in the tags </3#//the pyrrha omega ai bot has spoken shes stated multiple times now she's gonna kill pat the next time he comes near us LMAO#//sorry big man you shouldn't have been mean 2 me. u shouldve known better ur sisters literally gone yandere 4 me#//then again i made him be mean 2 me but like. if I made him nice to anyone but pyrrha or his family then that'd be ooc :(#//also. ngl unfortunately vast-internet perceptions of the s/c/v ending are starting to get to me.#//as well as some of the official art. looking at the art book cover. WHY is pyrrha in his lap. get ur hands off her u nasty ass.#//anyway ive seen. so much fucking incest art of them. so many incestuous interpretations of the endings that im just. done.#//i mean even i got a little weirded out by the ending bc it gave those vibes but maybe im just overtly suspicious.#//...anyways this has. unfortunately had an effect on my headcanons where now my brain correlates pat/rok/los with 'degenerate'#//..........like. literally to the point where looking at him makes me almost sick. this is a problem and i am aware it is a problem.#//bc i have the same correlation problem w/ dam/pie/rre and ti/ra but for different reasons. damp 4 worse ones and ti/ra 4 personal ones#//damp is self explanatory if u know what he did to pyrrha. ti/ra reminds me of my childhood bullies :( ANYWAYS-#//however this was. probably destined to happen because ive always disliked him. i tried so hard to tolerate him I wanted to find smth#//redeemable in him but i cant. so many things that make me mad @ him and im too much of a grudge holding dickwad to let bygones be bygones#//it was destined to happen my hatred of him was fate. LIKE the second he stabbed that homeless man it was over#//everything that came after was just another tick on the 'reasons why i want to kill you' list.#//not to mention w/ his personality how it is he looks like he'd call me a fag but in a homophobic way.#//so yes pyrrha and i have decided together that the next time we see him he dies.
6 notes · View notes
actualtoad · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
little mars art that im happy about
#mars like my now-erased-from-the-internet hhvcd contribution#funky little archive guy who reverse possesses people#that guy#pronouns he/him he’s not exactly binary but very importantly a Guy while having less binary presentation and deeper identity#anyway his name is mars or maggie. usually i call him maggie but in important contexts he’s for sure mars#same as how sometimes people (specific person mostly) call me artie and that’s a good thing but i’ll still always introduce myself as arthur#so anyway. this is mars rodriguez. sometimes known as maggie#and idk. he’s only a little bit entwined with hhvcd he’s mostly just my funky little guy that i made#that’s just because of my inability to impose stuff that i’ve created on people in a substantial way#like i don’t like to tell people about my stuff unless they’re a hundred percent asking. and so. i don’t. and here i am shdhdf#but ANYWAY this is just a cute little doodle. a sweet little drawing of a sweet little guy#in an alternate universe where he’s just a happy guy. some happy little man#this just serves as like. introduction to him as a person. mars when happy and regular. and not a villain#but anyway this is just a doodle. but i might put it on redbubble just for kicks. so i can buy it for myself. for cheap#that’s the cool thing about redbubble. that’s half of what im in it for shdhdhdf#anyway i haven’t posted art in months AND since im on this new blog i’ve actually never posted art as far as anyone can tell#so here’s a little mars. nothing special just my little guy. blorbo from my mind#me. my post. mine.#i arted#this is what i was drawing when my mom got mad at me by the way. but im back now and i finished it#that issue has resolved
8 notes · View notes
cornflowercanine · 2 years
Text
starting to understand that whole "erase entire online presence and restart from new" thing everyone's 833n on a8out for forever
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
watch-out-it-bites · 2 months
Text
he said he would stop bothering us since I apologized then like days after he goes on an alt and bothers, or what happened a week ago or so I HATE HIM HFHBBNNJhhrvrvrhhrrrjjjjjjj
Tumblr media
#don't let them see this!#i feel very hypocrite because i'm bad and disgusting and i shouldn't like#i shouldn't be mad at him for that because we're. so very alike.#and i hate that he influenced me and i influenced him and everytime i think of him i feel awful and dirty and bad#i feel like im the bad person and he was right#he hurt himself because of me and i feel. awful for it.#i want him to get better but he terrifies me still#i dont want him to hurt me because i know he could#and then theres the fact that i know it's my fault any of this happened or#just being. very disgusting about it all because fear responses#i hate how i know we both care about eachother in very different weird ways i#i am still very grossed out by some of his messages it makes me feel so ill whenever i read stuff from him#and i hate how hes right about so much and he only is because hes projecting#and because we're alike its judt#ashhghhhgj#i really fucking hate jude#scout speaks#i cant even say he ruined me regardless of how i feel because i was probably always like this#i wish i was a jellyfish#twins in paradise music has been very comforting and today has been very guilty and awful#guilty / shameful ?#why do i linger on this stuff why do i feel so scared hes going to get me why do i??? pluh..#its best not to linger on this qnd i do anyway because i think I'll be safer if i do and all it does is make me feel bad#the actual worst thing is thinking anyone i get close to is him or friends with him and secretly trying to get info on me or hurt me and!!#agh
0 notes
gibbearish · 3 months
Text
hm ive been thinking about it and i dont feel like that post is actually falling in the division being sown because like. theres no part of me that feels like these beliefs and behaviors are inherent to transfems, and in both that post and the long baeddel one from before i focused entirely on the ops and their specific actions/motivations. and i feel like if there /is/ a way to discuss things like this without falling into the trap, that has to be it. there has to be a way to address the actual issues without it just being about fighting and i can't think of a better way but. idk i do still worry it does more harm than good
#or maybe this is all just me making excuses for being just as gullible as the person i was mad about before#idk#im like. i want to be objective about things but i also know that true objectivity is impossible and that i will#always be biased towards agreeing with the things i believe given that yknow . theyre my beliefs. i wouldnt believe#in them if i didnt agree with them#so when i try to assess my own behavior and beliefs and come out of it going 'yep sounds about right' im like#well thatd still be what id say if i am wrong so this is meaningless#so i try to go off of like. the ways people disagree with me?#like that thing from before about 'what does it say about your beliefs that this is how you have to defend them' where its like#if i have a bunch of supporting evidence and go over my thing a thousand times poking any holes in it i can before anyone else can#and the response is something deeply ridiculous or disprovable by just Clicking The Link They Used As A Source#then that probably means im in the right‚ right?#but theres other times where im like. is my opinion actually solid or am i just being defensive right now#i dont feel like im being defensive but like no one who is does‚ they feel like theyre responding rationally#so i go back and reread arguments later to see if i still agree and i do which in theory would mean i am right#except it could also just be that im still defensive about it and thats why im still thinking about it and rereading it days later#idk. anyways do you guys think my psychiatrist was right about me not having ocd or should i revisit that IWBDKSBDKSN#origibberish
0 notes
chisungie · 3 months
Text
.
#i think hearing abt workplace drama and wondering if id ever get in a fight w any of the others is possible is funny#bc the thing that got someone inntrouble once was that they called someone else out for just like. lazing around in the room#while thenfirst person was trying ti clean it and ig they took it wrong and made it a big deal to the supervisors#anyway today someone came into a room i was cleaning and i legit. not mad in the slightest even when shes using her phone#which is obv a no-no but all these mfs do it except me so it is what it is#but anyway not mad and shes not in my way at all really and she just looks so tired 😭#like she looks so worn im not even kidding like i am lacking sleep sure but she looks like shes lacking sleep AND worn from multiple partie#anyw i wouldnt start fights w anyone bc i just got worried. and shes so sweet idk everytime i walk into a room in a bit of a rush#idk if its bc im in a rush or if i look stressed or what but she immediately always asks me “rhelena are u ok?' !#... do i always look stressed or lost or smn i swear at least 2 ppl keep trying to comfort me and 1 just thinks im really cute 🤔#like cute enough to come up and hug and gush about.. ANYWAY. WHAT WAS I ON ABOUT..#yeah im not made for arguing or calling people out idk 🤔#like even on days when other hosts r like “this party mom is giving us attitude theyre a bitch” i talk to the mom and im like#i mean theyre a bit of a perfectionist but they sound likr theyre just trying to get their moneys worth idk-#LIKE ITS NOT. UNREASONABLE TO ME IDK?? things happen for a reason! or reasons! its fine idk its not that big a deal?!?!?!?#44597#... am i too easy or smn like?? 🤦‍♀️
0 notes
0luv9 · 6 months
Text
can't move on || mattheo riddle
Tumblr media
Summary: He was done fucked, a weak man on his knees for her, mad for her, in love with her and funny enough she didn't know. Him sleeping around isn't helping him though.
Beware: angst, fluff (?), minimal plot, smoking, drugs, alcohol, she/her pronouns, second person used as well, miscommunication, misunderstandings, excessive use of swear words, both reader and Mattheo assume the worst, happy ending.
Words: 4.025k
Tumblr media
Mattheo Riddle is in deep shit. His feelings have dug him a deep hole, a hole so deep that he could bury himself a hundred times over and still not be anywhere near the surface. He is so in love with you. And you being so fucking oblivious, mistake his advances for him being friendly. It's funny because when has he ever done something friendly? He's not even friendly to his friends, he insults them as a greeting for fucks sake. It's ridiculous how clueless you are, it was endearing at first but now it's just painful for him to watch you go on dates, that too every date with a different guy.
He thinks you've fucked them all, afterall it's him, Mattheo Riddle, he only thinks in extremes, if you've been on a date with some dude, you ofcourse had fucked him because who wouldn't do you. He resorted to the same ways, fucking his frustration out but instead of feeling satisfied, he would feel relieved for a moment and then his frustration would grow more and more, never coming close to being satisfied. He thought he could just fuck it all out, that he could just forget you, that he could just hate you. It became a routine for him, he got rougher and rougher with the girls he slept with, reaching his own high became harder and harder. It was all because of you, 'cause you couldn't see his love and make him a lover.
His reputation was worsening, his grades started slipping, he started ignoring you, becoming angry easily, snapping at anyone and everyone. Fucking girls left and right, every day was the same and he wondered why the hell he couldn't find a solution to all his problems. His smoking habits became worse, one cigarette turned into two, two turned three and now he was smoking one pack a day. His life was fucked, he could no longer think for himself, the thoughts of you with someone else corrupted his mind at all times. Everyone could see him ruining his life, he couldn't care less, he didn't give a shit about the names he was being called, most of them were true anyway.
Tonight was like every other Slytherin party night, except for the fact that he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, all he wanted was a drunk hookup but he had slept with most of the girls in the room and he couldn't bring himself to repeat them over. He sighed, walking off to a secluded balcony, pulling out a cigarette, it was boring, life had become boring.
"Mattheo," he nearly jerked his head in the direction of your voice, it's been so long since he's heard it. All of it coming back to him, all the feelings he was trying to get rid of came right back, knocking at his heart. He's looking for the sweet smile, the one you'd always give him when you'd talk to him but all you did was frown at him, looking at him like the onlookers who gossiped about him and it fucking hurt. "Yes darling," he greeted you like nothing was wrong, before you would've smiled at his cheesy nicknames but now you grimaced at his hoarse voice and stepped back, he quickly looked away, just like that he blew off his last chance, he couldn't face it, he couldn't see you walk away from him, he physically couldn't.
"Riddle-" "Don't, don't call me that," he whispered, it was pathetic, he knows it too but that doesn't stop him, he couldn't hear you call him that. "Mattheo, I am Mattheo," he breathed out like an affirmation to himself, as though reminding himself of the person he's losing, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with his shoe. There it is, he's doing it again, acting how you'd want him to act, you disapproved of his smoking habits, you never told him to stop though, just so you know, he would stop if you only asked but you never did. You never asked anything of him, making the friendship feel one-sided, never wanting to bother him, you didn't do that with your other friends, you were openly asking them for favours albeit small, still favours, that's how friends are, looking out for eachother but no, you never expressed it, he just had to read into it. It made him feel as though he was your friend, just for the name sake, wow- he couldn't even be your friend.
He closed his eyes trying to contain himself, taking a hit from the burning cigarette, his hands were trembling, he was hurt, he could never be with you, you were making it clear. For the first time he got an actual sign of rejection and he just couldn't take it. "Riddle." It was still your voice, coming from his side, he slowly turned, there you were, standing next to him, looking at him with concern, giving him the slightest bit of hope, making his heart pound against his chest. He simply stared at you this time, unable to think of a response because you called him by his last name, you never did that. You didn't speak either, both staring at eachother, him with everything unsaid, sadness, anger, hope, longing, love, every fucking thing while you looked at him with worry painted all over your face. Mattheo hated to have people worry about him, noone was obligated to do so and he didn't want anyone to do it but right now, he didn't seem to mind, your attention was on him, worried about him. You finally looked away, placing your glass on the railing, alcohol with a lollipop in the glass, a typical you thing.
"alright, Mattheo," a small smile was tugging at your lips at his actions, "tell me, what's going on?" He didn't have anything to say, what would he say anyway? Upon not receiving an answer you sighed and continued, "Draco was telling me how different you've been-" he scoffed loudly interrupting you, ofcourse this is what it is, Malfoy sending you to talk to him, to scold him like everyone else, ofcourse you wouldn't come to him on your own, he was so fucking worthless in your eyes. “Don’t do that Mattheo-“ “Yeah? Why not? Coming here to scold me like everyone else, you know what, surprise surprise, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” He was angry, you come to talk to him after all these days and it was to tell him, that he’s bad, that he’s wrong, yes, he started it by ignoring you but you didn’t even make an effort to talk to your “friend” while he was away, it pained him to know that you didn’t even care to check up on him.
“No, I am worried Mattheo, this is not okay for you,” you moved closer, shaking your head trying to find the words, “I tried Mattheo, to catch you, to talk to you but you were always turning away, ignoring me, I couldn’t even get a proper look at you these weeks. Draco was joking about you smoking two a day, one for each girl you slept with, it was then but now, a whole pack a day? I tried to get to you, tried to see what’s been hurting you, but all I saw was your back towards me.” You paused, looking around clearly frustrated, “I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk about it, so I stopped trying but I am sorry, I can’t help myself, I care about you Mattheo and I hate to see you like this,” you looked up at him, hoping he’d understand but he only stared at you blankly, maybe you were wrong to care, he clearly didn’t want to be bothered, you sighed yet again, clearly there was no point, you could only wish for him to be better.
You mustered up all the courage you could, moving closer to the brunette who still hadn’t said a thing, “I am sorry for bothering you, I hope you win whatever battle it is that you are fighting, just know that I care and I can’t help but be worried when you are hurting, sorry if it is selfish that I want you to be better, I won’t disturb you anymore” you gave him a small smile, going up on your tiptoes planting a small kiss on his cheek, lingering for a moment, holding his hand in both of your own giving it a hard squeeze before letting go. It pained you to see that he didn’t seem to care about his own life, making you feel useless for doing the same, he was dear to you, you didn’t want to let go of him but clearly he didn’t want the same, who were you to deny him of anything? So, you let go, taking the moment in before walking away, the tears were ready to fall, you weren’t going to let him see that, you didn’t want him to see how pent up you were over him when he couldn’t even bring himself to care.
Mattheo could feel his chest burn, he could feel the sting in his heart at the sight of you walking away, his knees felt weak, you cared? You tried to reach out? Yes you did, of course you did, you weren’t the ugly person he tried to paint you as, he wanted to hate you so bad, he wanted you to be wrong, he wanted you to scold him, he wanted you to hate him just so he could move on but no, he could never move on from you, even if you spat his way he’d love you. ‘Sorry if it is selfish-’ he fucking wants you to be selfish, he wants you to be selfish about him. Only if he wasn’t busy imagining you with other guys, maybe he would’ve noticed that you smile a bit more around him, just maybe he’d see your eyes looking out for him. Maybe then he would’ve seen the look in your eyes, one similar to his, but he was a fool, he’d always be unworthy of your love, you wouldn’t love someone like him, he ruled that possibility out the very moment he fell in love with you, thereby in his mind even if you actually loved him, you didn’t because he couldn’t see it.
He called after you, he couldn’t see you walk away, not when he has so much to say. You turned around, he saw tears in your eyes, he felt like dying, it was him who made you cry, if he didn't hate himself before, he clearly did right then. With two wide strides he was infront of you, holding your face, wiping away your tears, "please don't walk away from me," he muttered, trying to get you to look up at him, you look up at him with stars in your eyes, taking his breath away, 'I want you so bad' he thinks to himself but it's false, no, he doesn't simply want you, he fucking needs you like the air you take away from him, when you look at him like that- hazy eyed, making him think that you love him but he knows you don't, he knows you don't love the guys you go on dates with, he knows you don't love the guys you sleep with, in his eyes you love to care but don't care to love, he'll be one of those guys, if it means you'll have him, even if it is for one night.
He was staring at you, looking for a sign, waiting for you to push him away but you just look at him with glossy eyes, making him weak, unable to contain himself he presses his lips against yours, you hiss pulling back, the bitter taste of smoke invading your senses, your reaction hurts him, he couldn't even be one of your guys, that's how worthless he is, his grip loosens, he tastes you on his lips, sweet cherry- the lollipop still sugary on your lips. Then you surprise him, fisting his collar, pulling him down, soft lips on his, like honey against his smoke. He loses it then and there, his hand comes up to hold your face, the other low on your back pulling you flush against him. It was heaven, eyes closed, moving in sync, savouring every second, he could feel his skin tingle, his body burn, it was pathetic how you could bring him to feel so much with the simplest of touches, and now you were kissing him, better than any dream or fantasy, it's real, he reminds himself, frowning as he concentrates trying to capture every single detail, of you against him.
Mattheo walks you back to the railings, not letting go of you even for a second. You pull away as the cold metal makes contact with your body, the sting seeping through the thin layer of your clothes. Still impossibly close practically breathing the same air, then the situation dawns upon you, you look up at Mattheo in horror. This is what has become of your love for him, he's using your attraction towards him to get you into bed, just like he did with other girls. There was no difference in their relationship with him and yours with him, evidently so. You loved kissing him but you hated the fact that it meant everything to you but all it was to him was a one night stand, your dignity would not allow it, even though you wanted him so badly. "I'm- I'm sorry but I can't," you quickly walk off, not looking back this was humiliation, you felt embarrassed.
One moment you were there kissing him and the next you were gone, he fucking hates this because he doesn't know what to do or what made you push him away. You gave him hope when you kissed him but shattered it when you walked away, you were confusing him. Why'd you kiss him like that if you wanted to let go? His hands reach out to pull at his hair, "Fuck" he grits out, it was frustrating not knowing what to do, knowing he has done something wrong. But for the most part, he doesn't know how you feel, you kissed him like you felt something but you walked away like it was nothing. He's over it.
He's absolutely not over it. He couldn't even stick to the plan for five seconds, images of you in his arms plagued his mind. He could only cherish that moment, he felt more alive in those few seconds than he ever did, his lips are still tingling, it's the next morning and his head is still in clouds. Mattheo for once, feels human- he feels like going to class again just so he could see you. The wound of your rejection was still fresh in his heart but so was the memory of your lips against his in his mind.
He could handle the professors' taunts, he infact muted them out and zeroed in on your face, you were avoiding him, he could see it, trying so hard just like he did the past few weeks. He saw himself in you for a moment but then you started talking to some Hufflepuff dude next to you, smiling at him so pretty, his blood started burning hot when he saw the guy touch you. You did nothing to push him away, pfft- ofcourse he wasn't Mattheo fucking Riddle that you'd push him away.
Mattheo was practically burning holes into you skull as he took a seat in the very back. Only if he wasn't so overtaken by jealousy he'd see that your smile didn't reach your eyes as you laughed at the Puff's joke, that your reactions were simply polite, a mere distraction from the pinching of your heart. You didn't want to be one of the girls he slept with, didn't want to be discarded after being used.
He couldn't even be one of your guys, he fucking wanted it to be him so bad just to have your for a night, just so you could see him in a different light, just so you'd know that he loved you. He'd gladly be discarded by you.
Mattheo has been searching for you, for about an hour now, you were minx- rushing out of the class before he could catch upto you. You were no where to be seen, he was actually getting worried. He was just about to enter the dungeons when he saw Pansy near the entrance. She'd know your whereabouts, she was a close friend of yours. She'd help him too, because she was his friend as well, right? Or had he destroyed every relationship he had the past few weeks. "Pans, a moment please" "oh hey Mattheo," she greeted him with a smile, that's a good sign, "umm- do you know where-" there he was, polite stuttering fucktard, "oh I know where she is," He didn't even tell her who he was looking for, confusion taking over his features, "I saw you looking at her in class, you like her don't you?" Was he that obvious? If so, why couldn't she see it? "Yeah," he finally admitted it to someone else, it was out there now, he felt some weight lift off of his shoulders, there was no denying to it, he loved her and he doesn't care if he gets laughed at for it but then his heart stops at her next words. "She's on a date with some Hufflepuff, in Hogsmeade," her voice was sympathetic, hurt was painted all over his face.
They were standing there in awkward silence for a couple of minutes before she broke it, heading towards the entrance, "You know you should tell her," she gave him a small smile, she patted his back ready to slip into the entrance, he stopped her "Why? Did she say something about me?" His voice was full of hope, hoping that maybe she had confessed to her friend just like he did right then but to add onto his sorrow, Pansy shook her head, he let his head hang low, moving his hand over his face, scoffing bitterly at the situation he was in, "but you should still tell her, at least you'll be satisfied knowing that you did something about it than do nothing." She shrugged walking in, leaving him there to think about her words.
She is right. He has to know, to know how you feel, he has to talk to you, has to let you know how he feels because in his heart, there's hope that you may like him back because you kissed him like you did. Mattheo wants to confirm that it wasn't his delusions that rendered your lips to move against his in adoration, something more than just physical. He has to hold you again in his arms-
He didn't even have to walk far away to find you, walking alone in the empty corridor but you turn around as you see him. Mattheo won't let you do that this time, he's onto you within seconds grabbing your wrist and pulling you back. "What-" "Please don't ignore me-" "I am not!" You sound defensive, taking your hand back, folding them as you look at him as though he is some lowlife human, there's a similar hurt in your eyes, one he knows a bit too well. "Yes you are, please don't try to deny it," he says slowly and carefully, he doesn't want you to walk away, "what do you want Mattheo?" You are annoyed, you stretch out his name showing your impatience. He takes his sweet time though, taking your hands in his, they feel cold, snatching away the warmthness of the action, "Why did you walk away? Yesterday?" "Why? Is there some rule against it-""no no ofcourse not-" both of you interrupting each other, you were frustrated, what was he trying to do? Did his ego take such a huge hit that you didn't want to sleep with him, like those girls he used and discarded? "Tell me why is it that you care? It's not a huge deal to you, you can have anyone else to sleep with you, it shouldn't matter that one girl decided to walk away when you have tens and hundreds lining up-" "WHAT?" He was looking at as though you were saying something ridiculous, "I cared about our relationship enough not to ruin it but you had to be there, trying to use me like you use the other girls and then discard me-" "STOP!" He holds your face in his hands, intense gaze setting you ablaze, "I fucking care, don’t think otherwise, I care because it's you, you could never be them-"
"wow- am I so worthless and unattractive in your eyes that you don't even-" "Wait, it should be me saying all of this, about you and the guys you on dates with, the guys you take to bed-" "What guys-" you both were now screaming at eachother, it was overwhelming, having to be vulnerable and admit your feelings and not understand what the person in front of you is saying. "I have not once slept with the guys I went on dates with, I'm in love with you for fucks sake but I got tired of waiting for you to love me," What.
He fucked up.
"Fuck, fuck-" his knees hit the ground as he covers his face with his hands, he's ruined all his chances by being an assuming dickhead. Heavens goodness- "FUCK!" He groans into his palms, not being able to digest what you had just said, he feels ecstatic that you love him but he hates that he's ruined his chances with you, "Mattheo-" "Fuck, I am so sorry, I've been a fool, a fucking idiot-" he pulls you down, grabbing your hands, crying because he doesn't know any other way to express it. He has lost his chance all because he let jealousy get the best of him, took illogical steps to overcome it. "I love you, I fucking am in love with you," he grips your hands tight, shaking them as he speaks, unable to control his very physical reaction, "Mattheo what-" "I thought that I could fuck it all out, fuck all the feelings away but no you were always on my mind, not just you but you with someone else, happy. I thought maybe I could resort to your ways, thought maybe I could sleep around then I'd get rid of my feelings, afterall you seemed happy doing it but you never- FUCK! I am so fucking sorry, I love you-" you kiss him, he sure was an idiot to think that you could just flip a switch and "unlove" him, what kind of love would that be? You hated to admit it, you loved him even when he was sleeping with so many girls, you loved him before he did that, a few weeks were nothing to make you hate him.
It was brief kiss, enough to silence him, tears were still running down his face- he was a heartbroken man on his knees afterall- they were only a sign of his regret, then he was at it again, apologising, "stop Mattheo, you are foolish if you think that I'll love one moment and not love you the next-" "but you don't deserve it, not after what I did-" "let me decide that. Do you love me?" Your ask is serious, so he answers you with utmost sincerity, his words soft, full of truth "I love you, more than I think I can handle," he looks down, you don't let him as you wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him close, "Learn to handle it then, I am not going anywhere." For the first time in his life, does Mattheo experience pure bliss, you are a sin against his lips, he pulls you closer like a prayer because if there's a god above, he'd pray for you to be his.
...
3K notes · View notes
stevieschrodinger · 8 months
Text
Part One
Baker Steve and Rock Star Eddie wrong number AU
Part two
"Steve! You have no idea!" Eddie's laughing, and that always makes Steve laugh, too. He's clearly a little tipsy. "Everyone went mad for the cake! It's was just, gone! Here, I'll send you some pictures!"
"I know what it looked like Eds," but Steve's grinning, knowing he's talking to empty air, can hear Eddie very vaguely mumbling to himself as he looks through his camera roll. Next to Steve' ear, his phone vibrates several times.
"Anyway, Stevie, I was thinking," Eddie's back now, still clearly tipsy but sounding uncharacteristically sheepish, "it's Christmas kind of soon right? Going to need a cake or two there. New year. Easter. Birthdays and bar mitzvahs and...and... independence day...so I was thinking I should get my orders in now, you know? Avoid disappointment."
"Eddie," Steve starts, finds himself turning shy himself, "you don't have to have a cake on order just to talk to me."
"I, ah, don't?"
"No, I mean, pretty sure we're friends, right?"
"Friends," Eddie starts slowly, "there's, like, lots of different kinds of friends."
"Sure, sure," Steve agrees easily, butterflies running rampant in his stomach, "there's even, kind of, more than friends, really."
"That sounds really really great-"
"Eddie!" There's a cacophony in the background, people shouting, "man, you're missing your own party-"
The line goes dead, and Steve's left standing in the dim light of the evening, just staring at tomorrow's cake order where it's cooling on the racks. A minute later, his phone buzzes in his hand, "so sorry baby, talk tomorrow."
Steve smiles at his phone. He had gone a little quiet after finding out who Eddie really is. It had kind of surprised him. But then Eddie had text him, "did I do something? 😞" and Steve realised Eddie's entitled to his privacy, the same as anyone.
"Hey Stevie, how's your day?"
Steve has Eddie on speaker phone as he mixes batter, "pretty good so far, you? You hungover?"
"No, no, didn't get that wasted, too old for that nonsense now, you know?"
Steve laughs, "aren't you like, 25?"
"I mean, maybe. Definitely old enough to, like, think about settling down, you know?"
Steve's breath catches in his throat, excitement and nerves after their interrupted conversation last night, "yeah, you, thinking about that? With, uhm, someone?"
"Yeah, I am, it's just..." Steve's heart sinks in his chest," my job, you know, I travel a lot, and that would be a sacrifice for anyone, and I couldn't ask someone to live with that, you know?"
"Well...what if it wasn't? What if they just...went with you?"
"What if...this person...had a job they loved? Their own business they worked hard for?"
"Yeah," Steve agrees slowly, "but what if...well, take me for example. I love to bake, but I don't love my business. That's just a means to an end, you know? I don't always love the orders, I'd choose to make something else if I was doing it for fun. So if it were me, i'd give it up in a heartbeat as long as I can keep baking."
"Yeah? You mean it?"
"Yeah. Yeah Eddie, I mean it."
"I, I mean, sure. Good. Thanks. I mean, not thanks, I mean, good, that's great."
Steve grins at Eddie's ramblings.
"I'll be away though, soon, for a couple of months, like four months, so, maybe, we could keep talking and when, I mean, if you want, what I get back..."
"I'd like that." Steve fist pumps, silently celebrating. "You never actually told me what you do for work?". Steve's teasing him, but Eddie doesn't know that Steve knows so, Steve grins to himself and keeps his voice even.
"I ah, music?"
"Yeah, you have mentioned that before, but what about it?" Steve knows he's being a dick, he just can't help it though.
"I ah, travel, with the band," Eddie starts slowly, and that is technically not a lie, Steve thinks, "and I kind of, look after some of the instruments and...have a lot to do with the sound checks? Like I'm definitely always there, for every sound check, like, I have to be."
All of that is probably true, Steve thinks, and god bless Eddie for not wanting to actually lie to Steve.
"Oh right, and what's the band called?"
"Oh, they're like, heavy metal, you've definitely never heard of them."
After they get off the call, Steve laughs all afternoon.
3K notes · View notes
demieyesore · 8 months
Text
You - Theodore Nott
Currently listening to Hollywood undead while I write this fanfic, anyways I’m a big whore (unfortunately) and I see that currently my poll is around the same votes for Mattheo and Theo…so this one will be for Theo (since my first fanfic was for Mattheo) and then my next fanfic after this one will be Mattheo x Reader x Theo bc I absolutely love men and poly relationships‼️
Summary - Theo notices someone being too handsy with GN!Reader in class and gets possessive
Warnings / Mentions - Reader is not in a specific house, no use of Y/n, kind of strangers to lovers? Reader is friends with the golden trio, Harry is the one being touchy, Possessive!Theo, Yandere!Theo, Stalker!Theo (but doesn’t really mention anything creepy except claiming the Reader)
I am willing to make a smutty part two of this if anyone wants it and I hope y’all recognize what I’m loosely referencing in this fic at the end LOL
Requested - No
POV - 1st person
Word Count - 1979
Tumblr media
I fiddle with my tie, trying to re-adjust the cloth as it hangs loosely around my neck. I had originally loosened it because it had gotten really hot in the class room but that can be expected when you’re working on potions from time to time.
Harry was assigned to be my potions partner. Ron and Hermione were sat next to us as we read off all the needed ingredients.
Harry begins listing the items while counting them on his fingers in 3s. Once he’s mesmerized part of the ingredients, his eyes drift towards me. His eyebrow quirks up when he sees me struggling with my tie.
Immediately he forgets the stuff we need as he reaches over to my tie, gently removing my hands from the area as he re-adjusts it for me. A small blush forms on my face at how close he has gotten. I can very easily see his scar up close and how his glasses are settled on his nose.
Has he always been this pretty?
As if on command, his hands drop from my tie. I look down at his hands and back up as he gives me a cute but awkward looking smile.
The kind of smile you give someone when you realize just how close you are before moving away.
Harry stands and goes to grab the ingredients.
Hermione smiles at me with a grin that just screams, “I told you he liked you.”
I roll my eyes at her, watching as Ron fucks up something in their potion, causing his eyes to go wide. Hermione’s attention is redirected as she hits the back of his head, pushing him over to fix whatever he’s done.
As I wait for Harry, I look around the room. Some people are already done with their potions, some are restarting. And by restarting, I mean that Seamus’ is covered with dust and his hair is everywhere.
Well now I know why it’s so hot in here.
My eyes wander next to him to see the next table of students. At this table, Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott are sitting and just talking.
Looks like they’ve finished their potion.
I realize that Theo is looking at me and quickly look away.
I’ve talked to him a few times before but I really tried to stay away from his friend group. Except Enzo and Blaise, they’re really the only two I get along with well.
Being friends with the golden trio is nice but that just means that Draco’s friend group bitches about it all the damn time.
Harry walks back over, holding a tray in one hand with everything we need. He stands behind me, placing his free hand on my shoulder as he leans over me in order to place the tray on the table.
My eyes widen as a reaction at the touch. It’s not necessarily a touch that most people would think about however, I wasn’t used to people being physical with me.
#TouchStarved, I think to myself before cracking a smile at my own humor.
Theo and Blaise’s table is right behind where Hermione and Ron are sitting so I furrow my eyebrows when I see Theo staring directly at me still.
Ah shit he looks pissed.
I avoid eye contact with him because we all know that a mad Slytherin really isn’t someone you want to be around. Although I can’t help but wonder if he’s pissed at me for something. I never talk to his friends though so there shouldn’t be any problem.
I brush it off as Harry begins speaking.
“Alright. Um- could you hand me that knife?” I nod at his question, grabbing the blade next to me and handing it to him. He nods in appreciation.
Soon enough the potion is done and was a great success. Harry and I were really happy with how it turned out since this would be very important for our grade.
Harry and I smiled at each other and raised our arms, celebrating the victory. Harry’s hands make contact with mine in a double high five. At this I smile even bigger, entwining our hands before he pulls away.
We begin laughing as Ron groans, upset with how his potion was turning out. Hermione rolled her eyes before grinning at the Potter boy and I.
Harry had the greatest idea of standing up from his stool and pulling me to stand with him. Our hands were still locked as he began to make me dance with him. At first we were doing the waltz that we were taught for the Yule ball but after he spinned me, I came back to him and instead of having our hands together, he settled for placing his hands on my hips.
He began using his hands to guide my hips in a very different dance than the waltz.
My hands were around his neck as my hips swayed from the pressure of his hands. And honestly if we were at a party this would seem extremely sexual, but since it’s just Harry and I, it’s platonic fun.
Although it definitely brought yet another blush to my face, but I was like 100% sure that Harry didn’t like me. I think he’s just a very physical person when he becomes close with people.
The Professor looks over at us, staring us down as we both laugh before scrambling away from each other. Rushing to sit down before we got yelled at.
Once the Professor looks away, a note flies over and hits Harry in the glasses. He picks up the note with his eyebrows tensed in confusion. We both look over from where it came from and it was definitely from Theodore Nott.
The only way I could be sure is when I saw him motion for Harry to read the note.
I watch as Harry reads over the words. Clearly becoming more and more confused, stealing glances between me and the note.
“What is it? What’s it say?” I vocalize, inquisitively.
He shakes his head as if he were clearing an echa sketch. But instead of a drawing, he was clearing his thoughts.
“Ah- um- it’s nothing really.” Harry stutters, licking his bottom lip. Which I’ve become aware is one of his nervous signals.
His eyes connect with Theodore, who in return stares back. His stare is clearly more frightening since he has what I like to call “dead eyes”.
Those eyes are absolutely gorgeous but when the light fades from them when he’s pissed, it’s the most terrifying thing.
I make eye contact with Hermione, having a conversation with just our eyes. Asking about what’s happening seeing as the two boys look like they’re holding back to urge to jump the tables and punch each other in the face.
Granger shrugs.
I quickly try to gain control of the situation again by calling the brunettes name. “Harry?”
“Hm?” Instead of breaking eye contact with Nott, he just makes a hum of acknowledgment.
“What’s wrong? What did the note say?” I whisper to him, trying to cover our chat from Theodore.
Potter doesn’t make an effort to say anything, instead he throws the note in front of me to read. I pick up the note and begin reading from left to right.
“Back off from what I’ve been trying to claim.” Is the only sentence written on the piece of parchment.
My mouth drops open in surprise, my mind immediately drawing the dots together like Stiles does in teen wolf.
Man he’s a smart character. But also really stupid.
I get off track with my thinking, refocusing on the important thing at hand.
But honestly, I don’t care all that much. Is that a bad thing?
Now that I know why they’re both death glaring at each other, I can only feel my stomach erupt into butterflies.
I crumple up the note, trying to be sly as I slip it into my pocket but I see as Harry’s jaw clenches and Theo now has a shit eating grin on his face.
It lasts for a couple more seconds before Potter breaks eye contact first, scoffing at the Slytherin. Harry stands abruptly and turns to leave the classroom. Ron following after him as I hear the ginger exclaim, “Bloody hell mate!”
Hermione and I look at each other again, an expression on our faces that is making it very evident that we both thought that was attractive.
Like oh my god, two guys getting jealous and possessive over me.
Perhaps it is wrong to find it attractive but I love feeling wanted.
Class soon ends after that, Harry and Ron never returning back for anything. Hermione is left to pick up after them while I exit the class. Hermione agreed to cleaning up, knowing that my next class is basically across the school and with all the moving staircases and students. It’s just torture to arrive on time.
I walk as swiftly as I can, dodging people and walking between random people in order to reach my destination.
But before I reach my class, a hand is promptly placed on my upper back. I look over my shoulder to see Theodore standing tall over me. His hand still resting on the small of my back, showing his possessive and dominant side. Practically towering over me as he guides me over to a private area.
Which happened to be a janitor’s closet. He opened the door and gently but still roughly shoved me inside. He steps in after me, clicking the lock.
I was about to speak up but he cut me off.
“I want to make you mine.” He said with a completely straight face as he put it bluntly. His voice low and deep as he kept eye contact with me.
I froze with my eyes wide as a small smirk formed on his lips.
“What? Cats got your tongue, Amore Mio”
Oh okay that got me a little bit.
I feel a small wave of attraction wash over me, something so intense for just a moment it could visually be seen in my eyes.
“Oh oh ohhhh, you like it when I speak Italian don’t you, Dolcezza?” He inquires, his eyes searching my face for some kind of a reaction as a smile grows on him.
And the answer to that question is 1000% yes but why would I admit that???
Unfortunately my body betrays me as I swallow anxiously, giving him the flustered response he was hoping for.
He could literally be calling me a cunt in Italian and I wouldn’t know except based on his tone but I would still find it attractive.
His captivating eyes look down at my lips as he closes the space between us. He slowly looks back up into my eyes as he gets on his knees in front of me.
Oh I like that too.
Theo grabs my arm gently, placing a kiss on my inner wrist as he still keeps eye contact.
My stomach flips and I shuffle a little closer to him.
“Can I kiss you?” He questions, and holy shit I swear to god if he doesn’t look away I will because his eyes are literally hypnotic.
I nod but it’s not enough for him. His eyes are trained on me, pulling me down to be level with his height.
“Words.” Is all he says. Yet it’s such a powerful thing for me to hear right now.
“Yes, yes you can kiss me.” My face heats up, I turn my head away from him out of embarrassment. But he just grabs my face with his hands, aligning the kiss.
He hovers over my lips for a moment,
“If I wasn’t about to kiss you, I would’ve beat Harry bloody for the way he touched you.”
And just like that, our lips meet.
2K notes · View notes