#i cant even say he ruined me regardless of how i feel because i was probably always like this

[watch-out-it-bites]

he said he would stop bothering us since I apologized then like days after he goes on an alt and bothers, or what happened a week ago or so I HATE HIM HFHBBNNJhhrvrvrhhrrrjjjjjjj

[dolliestfairy]

COD characters headcanons with chubby reader ❀

-

༊ Cw : Fem!reader, Fluff fluff fluff & fluffs, a little spice in könig & horangi, mentions of hurting (not from or for reader), stretch marks mentioned, boobeh & booteh mentioned, a lil tiny bity of breeding kink in horangi's part. Chubby Woc Readers (theres no skintone of reader mentioned. only skin texture & body shape.)

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

୨୧ Ghost

- Really love the opposite body shape you both had, imagine this; he's big and muscular, whiel you're simply plump nd small .. (unless ur tall, in that case you're plump & tall lol<3)

- and dont get me started cud this man loooovessss cuddling with u like godddd~

- but he wont admit it anyway.

- really love to grab your plump belly harshly and then jst like pulling it & playing it out bcs he thinks its cute lmao

- really loves how warm your body can get. loves to hug you when he's in fever (🥹)

୨୧ Price

- this old fashioned man really looves to see you in different type of clothes.

- if you buy some new piece of clothes u bet ur ass he'll be there seeing you trying your new clothes.

- dont get me wrong here, he just loves seeing you compliment urself in the mirror, cus no woman of his will be uncomfortable with her own body ✨

- really support you no matter what your decision is.

- if you'll ever decide to lose some weight he'll let you although he would be sad because he realize he will lose his favorite pillow. which is your bellies. <3

- also another sucker for cuddles, this man love cuddles like its a piece of china.

୨୧ Konig

- looves how plump u are omg

- if u had stretch marks then prepare for this big ol' guy to play with 'em, he jst cant stand those stretch marks being ignored :( he want them to feel loved too

- would smash everyones nose till its bloody once they talk bad about u. and if needed, he wont be afraid to putting a bullet in their heads, regardless of their genders. (but you wont find out about this though)

- loves seeing you in his clothes omggg, calls you his teddy bear because what else should he called u?? ur jst adorable and that body is basically perfect for cuddles

- also .. a little naughty things abt this guy is since he's so tall he likes to sometimes peek into ur boobeh if u wear anything revealing like a bra or a tank top.

- he just love seeing the shape of ur boobeh, no matter if its smol or no, a boobeh is still a boobeh.

- he actually felt guilty abt this but he cant stand it and sometimes he jst wish he could grab & squeeze them boobeh twins..

୨୧ Horangi

- really liked to tease u omg..

- this man is veeeerryyyyy clingy, and not just in front of you but its in front of everyone... including konig as well.

- for example he would basically nom nom ur plump cheeks in public without hesitation at all, or another thing is that he loves to softly touch ur booteh and also kiss ur cheeks in public as well

- its jst in public, but in private?????? do i even have to explain myself? 😭

- loves to called you "bunny" cus um.. well i mean he thinks that ur body is basically perfect for warm cuddles ( and also breeding, but he would never admit this anyway )

- would 100,001% ruin someones life once they talk shit about you.

- including breaking their ribs.

- loves to see u compliment ur self in the mirror, sometimes he jst watch u from behind while witnessing u having a lil dumb & silly conversation with ur own self in the mirror.

- think its cute & dumb, but would keep his mouth shut rather than saying it.

୨୧ alejandro

- compliments u in spanish omggg

- loves to calls you his wifey even though ur not (well i mean sooner -)

- would absolutely and menancingly roasting someone in their faces after their mouth just say something bad about you.

and if needed, he'll grab their head and bring em to the ground.

- and he wont afraid to do it in public either (this man..)

- also like ghost; he really love cuddles. no seriously, he loves cuddles with u.

- like everytime after he had done something, wether its finishing his missions or something like that he would jst go to ur home and ask for cuddles, and even when it was like holiday or weekend he would still just ask for cuddles..

- after work? cuddles, after dinner? cuddles, after sleep? cuddles, after breakfast? cuddles, after exercising? cuddles, after bath??? cuddles as well. its a cuddles 4 life for this man.

- he loves to spoil u. yes, he loves to buy you anything u want wheter its clothes, accessories, purse or anything u want he'll get it for you. even if the thing u want is from abroad or outside of mexico he'll still get it if u really wish for it. & its all for u his beloved plump cuddle bear♡

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

[kingkatsuki]

— mean

It’s been so long since I wrote any Kiri I missed him sigh!!

Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou x f!reader.

Warnings: 18+, Dom!Kirishima, spanking, ruined orgasms (f!receiving), mentioned assplay, fingering, creampie.

Word Count: 0.6k.

No one ever believes you when you tell them that Kirishima Eijirou is mean.

“Oh, he’s so nice.”

“You’re so lucky you’re dating Red Riot.”

“I wish my boyfriend was as nice as him!”

But they don’t realise what he’s really like— not when he’s got you on your hands and knees behind closed doors, smoothing a large palm down your spine as he drives into you with force. His hips bruise your ass with each forward motion as he fucks into you with vigour, your fingers fold into the sheets as you cry out when the blunt head of his cock presses up against your cervix every, single, fucking time.

He’s mean when he asks you if you think you should cum, if you deserve it. Fat tears clump in your thick lashes and blur your vision as you try to respond— it’s like he knows how difficult he makes it as he begins to increase his pace, the crude slap of skin against skin echos in the room as he pushes you forward. His huge, hulking frame practically on top of you as he chases his own end. Because nights like these were for him, not for you.

“Tell me,” He spanks your ass hard, “Tell me if you think you deserve it.”

And it’s all you can do to babble and beg him to let you cum, your cunt clenching pathetically around his cock as he works you towards it regardless of your answer.

“See, I’m not sure you do, sweetheart. Not really.” He disregards you, his balls already seizing as he he gets himself closer and closer to the edge. Using your pliant body for his own needs as he presses the pad of his thumb against your fluttering asshole, “I remember saying only good girls get to cum. Have you been good?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” You chant with each thrust of his hips, feeling yourself teetering on the edge of your bliss. You were so close now you could feel the dopamine begin to seep into your veins, the pleasure ebbing at your core as you heard your lover howl out behind you.

“Best fuckin’ pussy, I swear!” He grunts as he cums, forgetting everything as pleasure captures his consciousness. Strong hands dig into the plush skin of your hips as he spills white hot ropes of his spunk against your velvety walls, canting his hips to fuck it deeper inside you. Panting as he continues fucking you through his release, intent on getting you there too.

And you think he’s taken pity on you, because you feel yourself falling into bliss. His name spills from your lips as the pleasure hits you like a freight train, and as soon as he feels the telltale tremble of your cunt clamping down around him you’re derailed.

Kirishima pulls his cock from your gaping hole as you cry out in frustration, his thrusts enough to get you to the edge and push you over but it’s not enough. It’s not the same pleasure that usually racks through you as your entire body cries out for relief. Your puffy clit pulses with neglect, an almost painful twinge swirls in your abdomen and you don’t even realise tears are streaming down your cheeks until they soak the sheets beneath you.

“You’re not nice,” You pout, burying your face in the sheets as he grips your hips, “You’re mean.”

“Oh my poor little baby,” Kirishima coos, full of condescention as he thumbs your oversensitive clit, reveling in the way you try to scoot away from him “I’m mean? Was that not enough for you?”

The pleasure barely enough to satiate you as you succumbed to the disappointing climax, the dull throb between your thighs even more evident as your thighs began to tremble.

“I’m not mean,” He coos, “I was doin’ most of the work so I get to cum the hardest, fair is fair right?”

You mewled at that, a needy pathetic whimper pulled from deep in your throat that had Kirishima’s cock kicking in response. His thumb pushes inside your abused hole to feel his warm cum plugging you up, squelching it unkindly as he begins to finger fuck you. Grinning at the pathetic way you start to fuck your self back against him in an attempt to fix your ruined orgasm.

“This pussy’s so fuckin’ greedy ain’t she?” He presses, catching you by surprise as he pulls back to land a harsh smack against your needy cunt, “Show me how much you deserve it, and maybe I’ll let you cum properly this time, babygirl.”

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/750480278369222656/hate-to-intervene-on-the-discussion-about-the?source=share

sorry late replyy ahh ok I cant believe i just forgot about that part. I litterally wrote out the whole transcript after watching it in my docs and somehow forgot that Tommy wasn't being genuine there. My bad. You're right. Also, with Punz getting closure you've swayed me, I didn't interpret it like that before genuinely.

About the nuke not going off and the no reset, I think the bit at the end showed that both dream and tommy were going to work together, not exactly become friends. I think regardless of their anger with each other, lack of genuine apology, and different methods. They would've of found a way to compromise on how to 'fix the server' I've seen some people theorise that Dream would have gotten rid of the revival book and given up asap. And then Punz would want to stick to the plan and ditch Dream. I mean I don't know entirely about that. It makes it sound like Punz only cared about the book when on so many occasions he has defended Dream. No idea what will happen with the book. Dream didn't believe it was too late anymore, and was relatively open to change, But he is going to take a while to come into terms with what happened, like you said it would take time. maybe the compromise is using the book sparingly but i guess that ruins the point

tommy and tubbo are morally against the revival book and would never agree to go by those methods and majority of the server probably agrees with them except foolish, potentially sapnap since he had the death book, and quackity who wanted the revive book but he'd never work with dream and theres others that I'm forgetting. tommy going back to causing problems?, I agree with however I could see him being more perceptive of the people around him, and avoiding dream now that he realizes dreams human, maybe Im gullible but i interpreted his actions in the final stream as feeling empathetic even though not apologising properly except for the nuke. Theres also the consequences that tubbo would face for setting off a nuke to begin with, that and the fight with dream xd but ig since theres no reset then dream xd got defeated? idk also what happens to lazar and vikk r they just left dead lol. its like 5am for me

Yooo please share the transcript, I love to study them for writing dialogue.

Yea I mean I do think they would try and compromise and work together in some capacity, but I guess what I was saying was I struggle to see Tommy’s behavior change. Maybe I’m wrong, but the fact that their was not genuine admission of guilt or remorse makes me think that Tommy wouldn’t stop being a menace and hurting Dream if the nuke hadn’t happened and Dream wouldn’t stop trying to stop Tommy with whatever means necessary. Maybe I’m wrong though. I don’t know honestly, there’s a lot of variables at play with two very broken, impulsive and emotional characters. So I’m not sure what would have happened if the nuke hadn’t happened (with Tubbo or XD or whatever as well… that shall remain up to people’s aus and fanfiction). But I don’t think things would change between them as fast as we think. If they ever did apologize to each other, it would take time and healing for that to happen. And like they wouldn’t just magically start getting along. In other words, whatever happened next would be complicated and messy, and probably not work out anyways because some of the other characters aren’t about to just let Dream back into the fold.

Having said that, from my understanding it wouldn’t be that Punz or Dream would give up the revive book (it’s not like they can get rid of it since it’s knowledge lol XD), more so just not go through with their plan to kill everyone or whatever. And I certainly don’t think Punz only cared about the book or would continue with the plan without Dream. They were friends before, Punz isn’t just Dream’s friend for payment or immortality and the revive book. 

But anyways… clingy duo are kinda funny in their anti-revive book stance because they really weren’t at first and honestly as Dream actually highlights in the finale [clip] if Tommy had killed himself, would he have been fine with being in limbo - and Tommy does not answer. I I think they were more against the idea of immortality, but missing the point that people on the server seem to be dying well before getting to more natural causes of death like old age - so basically Death is all good and well if it's not premature (and preferably someone else). Like, literally when he does die a few minutes later, he begs Dream and Punz to bring him back. So, while clingy duo talk all high and mighty about the revive book being bad, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to end up in limbo (despite being more than willing to send Dream there). And do the other server members not agree with the revive book? Like I’m not sure that’s true, I don’t particularly remember people talking about how people should stay dead. In fact, people seem to have forgotten about the book so much so that Sapnap is caught off guard by the book when he and Dream talk after the prison break. (where he then immediately wants to get his hands on it…). So I'm not so sure the majority of the server are really against it... 'But that's just a theory. A dream smp theory! Thank for reading.' ;D

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I re-read my post about chapters 22-30 and I realized that theres so much I just fully forgot to mention, mostly relating to the inner circle so heres a quick summary of my thoughts about each ic member now that Im about halfway through the book and have spent some time with them. To briefly recap my previous thoughts, I think their group dynamic is insanely uncomfortable because of how apparent their hierarchy is and also none of them seem to actually like each other all that much

Amren

I dont dislike her in the sense that I dont dislike her personality or the basic concept of her character, but I do hate that shes in the inner circle at all. Like, whats this eldritch creature trapped in a body thats not her own doing hanging out with all these boring people ass people FOR 500 YEARS dude, if I had to spend 500 years with Rhysand I would destroy the entire night court regardless of whether or not I had Amren-levels of power. Like, why on earth would she be satisfied playing second fiddle to Rhysand and living in an APARTMENT in his stupid °•~City of Starlight~•° when shes supposed to be like a billion years old and a thousand times more powerful than him. I feel like itd be interesting to explore that but I know that we really dont from watching cari can read's summaries, so she just ends up being a character thats supposed to be interesting because shes so mysterious but is actually so shrouded in intrigue that it turns around and she just becomes boring again

Mor

When I first met her I said that something about her bothered me but I couldnt put my finger on what it was, but that I still kinda liked her because she atleast annoyed Rhysand. She really hasnt annoyed Rhys in any way since her and Feyres first meeting so I like her less because of that and also because shes mostly just boring to me at the moment. I think another reason why I dont particularly like her is that she feels so intrinsically tied to the misogyny of this world that just suddenly materialized in this book and its really annoying, I would like to avoid that subplot as much as possible. She basically just exists to give Feyre a female friend at the Night Court and to show her that you can totally girlboss your way out of a misogynistic system! But you cant dismantle the system because uhhhhhhhh. change is like a glacier because its slow

Also, shes obviously meant to parallel Ianthe, like shes supposed to be the better version of her, but I cant even imagine her and Feyre making out sloppy style toxic yuri edition so I cant really see her as any kind of improvement. sorry

Cassian

One of my least favourite character types is Fratbro But You Put Him In A Fantasy Setting so Im not the biggest fan of this guy ngl. The one redeeming quality he has is that hes very obviously crushing on all of his friends bisexual style, especially Rhys and Azriel. Its almost a little sad but mostly its just very funny. Like whyd you wanna take their clothes at the illyrian camps so badly huh? You like seeing pretty boys squirm around naked?

Unfortunately, I know that hes gonna end up with Nesta and that hes not even gonna treat her well, my guy is gonna go from being gay because he likes men to being gay because he hates women and I am not looking forward to it

Speaking of Nessian, a lot of sjm critical anti nessian people say that Nesta and Cassian used to be so good and so genuinely romantic in ACOWAR and that their relationship got completely ruined in ACOSF and. I mean, granted they dont ever talk about Cassian behaviour towards Nesta during the meeting at her house in ACOMAF but I hated the way he was just so angry at her on Feyre's behalf when she wasnt even that mad herself, she just felt weird and bad. Of course, I havent read ACOWAR yet and I might change my mind in the future but right now, I'll just say it doesnt surprise me that Cassian would laugh at Nesta falling down the stairs

Azriel

My favourite guy!!! Out of this bunch I mean. My favourite guy in the entire ACOTAR series is probably Lucien, but if we're just talking about the jokers from the Night Court, then this guy is my favorite

I really wasnt expecting much from him, I thought he would have absolutely no personality from what Ive heard other people say about him, but hes basically exactly what I want in an edgy traumatized shadow boi. Ive talked about this before but I really dislike Rhysand and part of that is that I normally really like the archetype of the tortured edgy love interest with shadow powers but he makes it so goddamn annoying by being so flirty and cocky I just want to see him dead. But Azriel is quiet so he doesnt bothr me and also theres some intrigue about his backstory and the extend of his powes but he feels like a solid enough character that he doesnt become boring to me like Amren

I will say though, theres something particularly uncomfortable about watching anyone from the inner circle interact with him and vice versa, I think its because he seems like he doesnt actually like them more than anything else. Ive said this in a previous post, I think Cassian wants to be in a relationship good friends with him and he seems to think they have some good sunshine guy/grumpy guy banter going on but to me it just seems like Azriel genuinely dislikes him. And then he obviously doesnt trust Amren and I feel like hes in love with Mor and has been for a really long time but doesnt actually like her, I honestly feel like hes just sticking by Rhysand because he feels like he owes him and because it gives him an excuse to be close to his crush

Yknow, that I think about it maybe thats why I like him so much. I dont like the Inner Circle, he doesnt like the Inner Circle, thats a relatable king right there

[fefairys]

I cannot fucking stand Mituna myself. I hate him so much actually. I guess it's mostly irrational but I dislike him for the same reason I'm not a big fan of Tavros; I hate that they exist to be Hussie's disability punching bag and that's reflected in how the people around them treat them

see but i dont think thats what mituna is, really. thats not how i interpreted what i just read, idk.

here is what we see:

meenah expresses surprise that latula and mituna are still together, because she thinks he sucks, and latula says "he's more than the terrible shit he's always saying, and also i feel like he kinda needs me" and meenah is like "well ok then" basically lmao and thats that

in the next dancestor flash, meenah has a couple conversations with mituna wherein she calls him "the worst" and says she "doesnt know how latula deals" because of all the inappropriate things he says. mituna calls her a "wader" which makes kankri come in and start talking about how mituna is "bad representation" for existing. then meenah defends him and says "vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that"

THEN cronus takes his anger out on him and verbally abuses him, blames mituna for ruining his chances at romance or whatever, cuz, yknow, he's terrible and we are supposed to think he's terrible, while he just stands there and says "im sorry", until meenah comes and defends mituna again and calls cronus out for being a shithead.

and then, when aranea gives her exposition on mituna, meenah says something like, wow that was genuinely interesting for once, thanks!

like she sees him as a person who deserves to be treated with respect, but she cant just ignore when hes shouting obscenities and sexually harassing her either. its complicated. like at the very fucking least, he is given some defense by the pov character of these sections.

how i see it is that the narrative is not particularly trying to Say anything about mituna (or tavros for that matter) or what they are "deserving" of or viewing them as "punching bags", i think it is just showing some fucked up shit for the spectacle of it without taking any sort of solid stance.

like, who do we see actively treating mituna badly? meenah, kankri, and cronus. i dont think i need to explain how those three are like. absolutely not "people we are supposed to agree with" NO ONE in homestuck is "person we are supposed to agree with on all things" and i think that trying to ascertain how hussie feels about how people should be treated, or ascertain any of hussie's opinions by looking at the things the homestuck characters say, is not going to work out.

even the homestuck book commentary where they speak in their own voice is a mixed bag of sincere and insincere statements CONSTANTLY. it is often very hard to parse when they are being serious and when they are trolling. so like. i dont know man. maybe hussie IS an ableist asshole who thinks disabled people should just, like, get over their disabilities and stop being so weak. i guess who is really to say.

i do think that regardless of how they actually feel, the jokes are distasteful and shouldn't be made. it certainly makes me uncomfortable.

tl;dr: i dont think that mituna and tavros are necessarily "disability punching bags". i think everything in homestuck is mostly just A Fucked Up Spectacle that we are supposed to ogle at and not take moral lessons from one way or the other. regardless of the intent, the content is distasteful and makes me uncomfortable and its valid to be upset about the treatment of these characters.

[scyllas-revenge]

I'm so depressed rn about dating/marriage/the future, literally cried yesterday, I just don't think its going to happen. I'm not going to ask a guy out because I don't have the confidence for that and if he said yes it would always be in the back of my head that he's just settling for me cuz if he wanted me he'd have asked. I've never even been on a date, ever! Didn't even go to my own senior prom cuz I didn't wanna have to sit alone all night lol

Recently I was texting a guy and he was so sweet and gentlemanly but I totally ruined that. He came into my work to use our services and I freaked out and started telling my colleague that I wish he wouldn't come here and like why is he here and stressing about him being there. And I'm pretty sure he overheard and doesn't understand that I didn't actually mean any of that I just have an anxiety disorder and freaked out. Then my colleague started laughing about an older man who asked me out (he was 65 wth!) And I think other actually nice guy thinks we were laughing about him.

Now at work his entire demeanor has changed he seems so down and he legit glares at me when saying goodbye on the way out (my desk is by the door) So being at work is depressing because all I can think about at work is how this man was actually so sweet and so nice to me and I with my big mouth and idiot anxiety just disrespected him so much and clearly hurt his feelings which he didn't deserve. And I don't wanna try to talk to him about it because we don't really know each other that well and what am I supposed to say 'hey did you hear me talking about you and about how I want you to go away-yeah I didn't mean that it was just anxiety pls don't be upset-like wth I can't do that

Now I'm gonna pray every morning for God to keep my words so I don't be so damn stupid. I'm just really upset that I upset someone like that regardless of possible dating I don't even care I just care that I was inadvertently so mean like what kind of bullshit high school level behaviour was that ffs

Btw this is the anon from sotwk-I saw your comment and totally relate like its nice to know I'm not alone and others deal with this too but at the same time it's depressing as hell that this many people are having this problem, like it just reinforces the hopelessness. I feel like I'm sitting in a waiting room waiting for something that will never happen but I cant get out of the waiting room because I really want the thing y'know?

Apologies for the entire ass rant, I'm just so mad at myself rn

Hey anon! I'm really sorry you're going through all this. Giving advice isn't my strong suit, but I definitely understand the "sitting in a waiting room" feeling, and it sucks.

I spent a good chunk of my 20s like that, feeling stuck and alone and unable to stop crying or shake off my self-loathing. I was trapped waiting for things that would never happen and I was powerless to change that.

No, things aren't perfect now, and yes, I'm still very single, but the good news is I did manage to escape the "waiting room" feeling. It still creeps up every now and again, but I'm better able to recognize and fight it.

The first step was realizing I was depressed. Oh my GOD was I depressed. It feels ridiculous that I didn't notice at the time, but it had been creeping up on me so slowly that at some point it just became my new normal to cry multiple times a week. I was lethargic and detached and utterly convinced to the very core of my being that something was fundamentally wrong with me, and that I would never be loved and my whole life would pass me by with that same horrible sense of waiting. (I don't want to sit here giving armchair diagnoses or pretending to know all the details of your life, but it certainly looks to me like you have depression too.)

When I turned 30 it felt like a wake-up call- it's a new decade and something needs to change. The thought of my 30s slipping by just like a good chunk of my 20s really scared me.

So the second step for me was therapy. I don't know if you're in therapy now, or tried it and it didn't work, or if it's an option for you financially, but if you can give it a try, I really do think it will help. I can tell you're desperate to get all this off your chest and get answers and validation, and a good therapist will help with that way more than a tumblr ask box will! My therapist also connected me with a psychiatrist, because wow does medicine also help. It took some trial and error, but between the right meds and the right people to talk to, things really did improve.

It's hard, but I'm doing my best to try new things- new hobbies, social groups, clubs, anything- because I want to meet new people and have more meaning in my life. The disgusting cocktail of depression, anxiety, and executive dysfunction were keeping me from doing much of anything besides work and scrolling the internet, and that really intensified the feeling of being stuck in a waiting room, watching other people's lives move forward while i was sitting still. But being more active socially, trying new hobbies, even just being outside of my apartment more often, is giving me back some control. I even took an impromptu trip to Iceland, alone, and I could practically hear myself slamming the door of the waiting room behind me as I left!

I know none of the above rambling had anything to do with finding love, but personally, I kind of needed to take all of those steps before I could focus on anything else. And it wasn't that I "needed to stop looking for love and focus on other things, and love will come when you least expect it" - it was that if I didn't try to bring more meaning into my life, my depression was never going to get better.

And it wasn't that I "needed to love myself first or no one will ever love me" - it was that I had been spiraling for years and could hardly function if I didn't focus on my mental health. (So...maybe all that cliche advice isn't wrong. It's just usually not framed right.)

Because that's the thing- you're not unlovable or doomed to be alone or secretly fundamentally flawed or anything else your brain is telling you right now. What you are is a good person worthy of love and respect whose anxiety and depression are doing their best to get the better of her. They're in that waiting room with you, barring the door shut and telling you it's your fault, and you need to use any tools you can (therapy, medicine, guidance counseling, meditation, anything) to shut them up and kick the door down. Love isn't in that waiting room- it never was. It's beyond the door, in the real world, where you have agency and aren't powerless to change things.

Beyond dragging a waiting room metaphor way too far, I don't have much more advice, especially as far as romance goes. My own love life is nonexistent- I'm probably not the best person to get help from!

It sounds like you might be feeling too much anxiety to try dating apps, or you might not like the idea of them. And tbh I hate them too, but I bring them up because that was how I got my first real date at 24, as well as 99% of the other dates I've been on since. Even if the date sucks, it makes dating as a concept feel a bit less daunting- it's no longer this Big Significant Achievement, it's just a thing you've done before.

Anyway, I'm not sure if any of this very long response will help or not, but feel free to send me a message if you want to talk more. I'm wishing you all the best and am confident that things will get better!

[safyresky]

Hello, hope you don't mind me coming in so much to posit a lot of What If questions. BUT YOU CANT STOP ME EITHER WAY! You've just made a really good sandbox world to ponder in lol

But! I'm on my lunch and NEEDED to ask you: I can probably assume that you've thought about an AU where Jacqueline was the firstborn and therefore got cursed. BUT! What if it was THE TWINS that were born first? Twins -> Jack -> Jacqueline birth order.

Would the curse only work on one twin? Would it work on both? How devastating do you think it would be for Blaise to deal with two cursed twins? How MORE devastating would it be for him to watch as only one twin is cursed and they both have a violent falling out HAVING TO WATCH THE CYCLE CONTINUE YET AGAIN!?

How would Jack and Jacqueline deal with their oldest sibling (or siblings) being cursed and evil?

I know we're on the cusp of receiving more Blaise angst in the next chapters, but just a whole lot of family angst please!

Do you know, I have tango'd with the idea of reverse age order, where Fino and Fiera came first, THEN Jack and Jacqueline, and I've never actually been able to like. Figure it out in my head! I think a younger Jack and Jacqueline is an absolutely HORRIBLE thing, could you IMAGINE???? They'd be gremlins, my god, there's only a few hundred years between them instead of a thousand and an almost half and they'd be TROUBLE. ON TOPIC NOW

I've no idea which twin actually came first. I think Fiera's older? But some days she says Fino is older? But I'm like, 80% sure Fino's the baby. By a few seconds if anything. Anyway, rambles aside, lemme. Rotate this in my head all day as I slowly answer this bc now I'm thinking! Now I am THINKING.

Anyway, we love to see what ifs so please, don't apologize! SO. Let's what if! Here's how I think it would go...

I think that they would share the curse, a la the way Eda and Lilith do in The Owl House. MAYBE they're both born with it; maybe it's just the one. Regardless, they look out for one another because curse aside, that's their hecking TWIN. So somehow, in some way, whether it be one gets it and the other finds a way to use magic to split it, or they are both born with half a curse, they're sharing it.

And it's. It's rough. given that it is divided, they're not as evil as they could be, but they have some bad days, some worse days, sometimes they're both doing schemes, other times one is scheming and the other is being a voice of reason. Basically, the entire time they are cursed, they're out here supporting each other, both WITH evil schemes/shenanigans, and maybe NOT doing that particular one. I will say, though, that a cursed Fino and Fiera duo would deff be responsible for some (if not all) of the following, and more probably:

Pompeii

Every fire London has ever had, ever

Global warming/climate change

Waters receding

Summers being WAY TOO HOT

Forest fires

Most famous explosions

The Titanic, somehow, but that was an accident, for real, they mean it

They're chaotic! And they don't really have a sort of focus on any one particular like, legendary figure or anything. They're just here to ruin everything. They're trying not to, most days! Really! But it's HARD. They just can't not set the thing on fire. And when Fino starts dipping into the warlock stuff? Dear god. Shenanigans do be RAMPING UP.

Blaise is just constantly exhausted. He is too tired to even THINK of the moral consequences or how he feels or anything like that. His daily mantra is "FUCK my STUPID, FUCKING BROTHER". I think if the Twins were BOTH cursed, he'd 100% believe in the curse and just. Curse Pyros back, maybe even. Winter, meanwhile, is too warm to function. This house is too hot. But she agrees with Blaise 100%: FUCK Pyros, man. That guy SUCKS.

BUT ANYWAY, I've no idea when Jack comes around, but when he does, the Twins do tone it down a notch. they're like, look, there's a kid involved? Maybe we should like. Try to keep it cool. Winter's happy to finally have ANOTHER WINTER SPRITE in the house. Finally, she can cool off.

OH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD PROBABLY HAPPEN??????

THE TWINS WOULD PROBABLY GROW RESENTFUL TOWARDS JACK! ESPECIALLY SINCE HE IS, AFTER ALL, JACK FROST, RIGHT? SO HE GETS THE TITLE AND MAKES A NAME FOR HIMSELF AND IS KNOWN BY ALL AND FINO AND FIERA AREN'T AND THIS DEFFS UPSETS THEM. OH MY GOD. OH NO. AND THEN JACQUELINE COMES AROUND, AND SHE IS THE BABY OF THE FAMILY, AND JACK IS LIKE, LOOK AT MY LITTLE SISTER! AND SHOWS OBVIOUS FAVOURITISM, AND OH MY GOD. THE RESENTMENT BUILDS.

Sorry this is so rambley, but like. I am thinking as we go here! This is a Live Dani Reaction! Anyway, the downside to all of these speculations is that I see NO way in which Jacqueline doesn't STILL get hurt bad, barring the obvious "Only one twin is cursed, the other isn't at fights to save their Twin, only to get hurt badly in the end in the Twin's own version of the day of darkness". AND THEN, seeing all FOUR kids be part of this infeuding fallout thing, my god. Repeating the cycle? these fuckos are out here doing it at TWO TIMES THE SPEED, APPARENTLY!

Okay this is SUCH a ramble, I am SO sorry, let me tl;dr some answers for you:

The curse could work on one twin, or both! I personally like the idea of them sharing it, bc it would frustrate both Blaise AND Pyros and that is HILARIOUS to me

Pyros being like COME ON. BE MORE EVIL and Blaise being like PLEASE. BE LESS EVIL. As the pair of them pull one way over the other and deal with this life long struggle of being cursed stony!

IF they share it, they would grow resentment when Jack gets his title, and even more resentful when Jacqueline comes along bc of favouritism from Jack, and also favouritism they'd perceive from Blinter, though Blinter wouldn't show obvious favouritism to the two younger kids.

(Jack's an ass, though. He WOULD show favouritism amongst the siblings, and not being the cursed kid wouldn't change that at all lmao)

And this would lead to a DoD tragedy with the Twins hurting Jacqueline, because in the "they share it" option, there is no way Jacqueline DOESN'T get Day of Darkness'd, FIRE edition.

Anyway (so much for a tl;dr)

IF one twin is cursed but not the other, either

A) the not-cursed Twin would find a way to share the curse, or

B) they would have a DoD equivalent fallout

And yes, Blaise would be heartbroken by this! Because the cycle, despite his best attempts, continues once again; he's been dragged back into his toxic family's shit, the history has repeated himself and he tried EVERYTHING to avoid it but couldn't do it! Devastating blow for the groupchat! It isn't his fault but of course he'd blame himself.

Jack would probably be really shitty right back to them any time they were super evil to him, whereas Jacqueline, being the lil bundle of energy and excitement and absolute sunshine she was as a kid, would ADORE her twin siblings and be ALL over them which I'm sure would get annoying to a point

She'd probably try, when she's older, to find a way to help them. Could you imagine? A travelling sorcerer Jacqueline, who picks up on the Warlock blood and learns as MUCH as she can to try and help her older siblings, bc she sees how hard it's been for them; she sees how much they've upset Jack, and she sees how much it hurts her parents and by the GODDESS, SHE IS GOING TO BREAK THIS DAMNED CYCLE OR HER NAME ISN'T JACQUELINE WINTER FROST, LEGATE TO JACK FROST, SORCERESS EXTRAORDINAIRE (she'd totally call herself a sorceress bc it sounds badasss and sorcerers would get mad at her like YOU ARE USING ALL THE MAGIC! YOU ARE A WARLOCK NOT A SORCERER! and she, of course, would reply with an I do what I WANT)

So yes, a LOT more angst on ALL fronts, especially with Blaise! But I think that Jacqueline's determination to break the cycle, her unrelenting positivity and her "idgaf that you don't think I can/should do this, I AM GOING TO DO IT" attitude really kinda moves them all!

And maybe, maybe she manages to break the curse just through sheer determination. Or maybe she runs into Lucy in her travels, who helps her break their curse. who's to say! There's so many ways it could go! But by GOD if I don't love every single one of the possibilities that I've thought of, LET ALONE the ones anyone reading this may think of along the way!

[discoursedeity]

Disappointed, bored & hurt, the worst trifecta:

I don't care what anyone else thought if the movie, if you liked it, good for you, I am happy you were able to enjoy it. I am not going to argue with you and tell you you're wrong for liking it and just being happy it actually got made because I don't want to ruin it for you. But I am going to say my piece regardless because I have been thinking about it all week and it is really bothering me and I want there to be helpful criticism out there for Scott Cawthon to pull from the fan base.

So I will start by saying that yes, I have been a fan since 2014 when Markiplier first uploaded his first video, and I have been watching countless YouTubers since then for it. Ranging from gamers who play the games, to theorists who disect them, and I cant even begin to count how many hours I have sunk into this franchise to watch all of those videos, so this isn't just someone coming in later and not getting it or something. Of course I caught things like Sparky the dog, and the Ella spring lock suit and thought "Oh my God, what a deep cut, how nice." But that in itself does not make a movie. Nor do the YouTuber appearances like MatPat being a waiter named Ness (as much as that moment was the highlight of the film) A movie needs to be written to make the audience CARE about it, it's world, it's characters. And this movie sadly just did not do that for any of the characters, be they human, ghost or animatronic.

Vanessa info dumping is a quick way to get the lore across, and yes fans already know the lore so I understand WHY things were done that way, but you should always SHOW not TELL. We fans would have loved to see it all unfold before our eyes, rather than just have some cop hang around for some reason to just spew lore out her mouth at us. We want to SEE the restaurant being established and built up, we want to see William spiral and finally decide to kill the kids, we want to see each conversation he had with each kid to get them to follow him, we want to see him kill them and put them in the suits, we want to see the kids ghosts adjusting to the suits and begin their rampage of killing guards.

That's Fnaf, that's what we are here for, the lore of the restaurant franchise, its history, its animatronics, that is all important for getting us invested, that and the mystery of it all since we like trying to solve things. So of course you don't have to show every single little thing lore wise, we do like to try to theorize and figure things out for ourselves when we are given enough pieces of the puzzle to do so, like if you are going to carry over that William also had 2 sons but you're planning to have them both be dead (one to Fredbear and one to Circus Baby) then you don't need to show us explicitly which one died first, but some things you really do need to layout for the audience to be able to feel invested in the movie. Again, like the characters, we have no reason to feel attached to Vanessa.

We don't know enough about her to care about whether or not she comes out of her coma. We have vague implications that William wasn't the best dad and that she has lasting trauma from that experience as his daughter, but we don't know what the trauma is or how severe her suffering was, so we can't truly empathize with her. Was she beaten by him? Or just yelled at or neglected? We don't know. And when building a character those sorts of things need to stated or at least hinted at more clearly to build intrigue and investment in the character. But they must be likeable as well, and non of the characters in the movie were relatable or likable enough. Mike was relatable, but his likability factor went out the window when he sold out his sister for a long dead brother that we also knew nothing about so we could care about him. The ghost kids weren't established enough as characters either, and while that may be because they have been there so long that they are not fully themselves anymore and you wanted to emphasize that it isn't really them just the negative emotions like anger and such that were left behind, it made it impossible for us to care about them beyond going "Oh dang, dead kids, poor things...Oh well, hey look at that animatronic." The only one who speaks is Golden Freddy's kid, and he was a brat.

On the topic of the animatronics, they were perhaps the biggest disappointment in the entire movie. It seemed like they were left as silent vessels for the kids both to try to make them scarier and fit the first game since they never talked in Fnaf 1, as well as to try to further emphasize the fact that this was about the ghost kids from the MCI situation. But it didn't work in either of those favors. The bots weren't scary, like the only time they had any level of intimidation factor was when Freddy stomped over to Mike when they were first introduced, and that was purely because of their size difference. The animatronics just came across as goofy. Like, how could they be threatening when they are so weak and slow that Bonnie and Freddy have to work together to lift one single little table? What makes them scary in the games is what they are capable of, how we see them move fast, how they are capable of intricate thought and planning, how they hide behind a friendly and calming facade but they are truly sinister and can outmatched any human in speed, strength and durability. But seeing the bots in the movie move so slow, barely be able to lift, go down so easily from one shot of a stun gun, it just takes any chance of them being perceived as an actual thing to fear away immediately. Not to mention the red and orange glowing eyes. It's like they are playing red light green light with their eyes and I could only laugh whenever I saw them. Where was was the iconic and chilling black with white pin pricks we all know and love? Those would have sent chills down any player's spine seeing them. The animtronics just looked so silly, and didn't have anything to backup their danger factor aside from killing some random break in thugs, 2 of which walked right into their own Demise so the bots didn't even have to work for it to show what they are capable of, (Freddy and Bonnie). And I get it, I know they were staged this way because the people in the suits probably can't see or move that well in them, and those physical limitations inhibit what can be done for the movie. But if that is the case, then why even bother making real suits and animatronics for this? If it is going to negatively impact the movie by posing such limitations, then don't waste the time or money on them, just use CGI. I would have preferred that even, since it would have allowed the animatronics to be as close as possible both look wise and feel wise to the game. As it is, Chica is the only one who perfectly matches how she looks in Fnaf 1. The boys all have slight color issues that keep them from being accurate adaptations. Really getting the creature shop to make them real was a mistake in every way except for the fact that it gives a chance for people to meet them irl at exhibits and stuff. But that isn't worth it if it requires shooting the movie in the foot. The animatronics should have been present more, they should have DONE more, they ARE Five Nights at Freddy's. We need them to be more involved, otherwise it feels less like a FNAF movie and more like the Fnaf bots making a cameo in some family drama movie.

Also, let's talk more about Mike and his whole dream thing. We got it the first time, we didn't need to see it over and over and over again. That was boring. Heck, the whole first 1/3 of the movie was just tedious and dull with all the setup and family drama, it felt like I was left waiting for the movie to actually start, like I was watching a required video before I could actually watch the movie. Yes, it was important to establish how down on his luck Mike was and why he needed a job and how this was his only option for work so he had to take it, even if it wasn't ideal. But the bots didn't even attack him until around night 3 or 4. So it was less about Mike coming back to the job despite the danger, and more about Mike just coming back despite it not working great with his schedule. And his backstop could have been established far faster and with less monotony. It took up so much of the run time that we could have spent better elsewhere, such as fleshing out William some more or on the animatronic side of things like I said earlier.

And God, William, oh William...He is just never going to be an actual threat again, is he? Like, odd enough to shift him from being British to just being American, but he was portrayed as so goofy as well in this movie. As Steve Raglan, I understand him being an upbeat and lighthearted guy, but when we are shown him in the suit, he should have had more buildup, there should have been more suspension and hype to make him FEEL like more of a threat. Him controlling the other animatronics should have also been shown, I don't care if it was him disguising himself as a friend via sound illusion disc's or some stereotypical remote control or what. But leaving it vague for anyone to see there to theorize about (or forcing them to read the books to understand) just takes any tension out of it by making it feel like a rushed cop out. His whole little speech about him creating disobedient monsters just felt sad and weird and out of place. And his delivery of his iconic line felt shoehorned in to be able to point at it and say "look, look, ah ha he said the thing" and was really just pathetically given, rather than it being more of a menacing and knowing promise. Plus, when we only know of 6 kills under his belt and all of them were children who couldn't fight back and we didn't even see how creepy and cunningly he lured those kids in to their deaths, we really have no frame of reference for what he is capable of and why we should fear him. Like, sure maybe he wasn't actually aiming to kill his own daughter, but if he shoved a big knife through her gut and she didn't even die and he actually WAS trying to kill her, then that's pretty sad. Makes him come across like a failure of a killer and more of a joke than anything. He couldn't even kill Mike for crying out loud, and Mike didn't have a gun like Vanessa did.

(Also, I suppose this is a nitpick, but why was he able to kick Mike in the suit without the spring locks going off? That was a hard jarring movement, and the foot meeting Mike was applying resistance, don't you normally have to be careful how you move and breathe in those things so as not to set them off? How can you harshly kick someone AND get tazed without it tripping the spring locks?)

I don't know, the whole thing just felt like it was relying on fans to just be satisfied with seeing Easter eggs, cameos, and feeling what superior or something for already knowing everything? I mean, the whole movie was so predictable, every single plot point of it, even Vanessa being his daughter wasn't a surprise to me or my friends that just went and saw it with. I've seen people say they went in with a Bingo sheet, and that is not a good thing at all. The run time was poorly allocated to the wrong points, and such important things like building the world of the Freddy's restaurant chains and its characters kind of got the screwed over. I watched this thing twice and hesitate to ever watch it again because my opinion of it already started out not so good with the first watch and fell to bad with the 2nd. I might actually cry if I try to watch it again. I don't like knowing I've waited years for this and hoped and prayed for the best, only to see red flags popping up when the trailers were released and then going in with low expectations telling nyself to ignore the warning bells in my head and actually seeing it, it's just so disappointing.

I love this franchise dearly, it's done so much good for so many good people. It gave so many people jobs as YouTubers who are a joy to see spread positivity and light in the world. Heck, the games also got some people to look at Chuck E Cheese in a new light and give it a visit. It's brought so many people together and inspired the next generation of game designers and story tellers. Nothing will ever shake me from its clutch, even back when Fnaf 3 came out and I felt disappointed I didn't give up on it, and that was back when it was still new enough that it didn't have a strangle hold on me yet. So of course I'm not going anywhere even if the Ruin DLC and movie were kind of a flops. I will still be here ready to go to the theater to give the 2nd movie a try when it comes out, I just hope that Scott and the crew learn from this and make better choices for the next one. Because I really want this series to be treated with the love and respect that it deserves.

Regardless of any complaints though, thanks to my fellow fans for being so devoted to the series as well and getting it past the Mario movie in terms of views for streaming, (the Mario movie was bad in its own way, mostly with Peach's...everything, and the voices of all the characters and stuff) so I'm glad to see it surpassed that shamless cash grab of a movie at something. And I am happy that the movie wasn't just abandoned after being in development purgatory for so long.

This again, was in no way meant to deter fans from enjoying it if they found something in it for them, keep enjoying it. If all you wanted was a cheesy movie that wasn't taken seriously and was intentionally bad, then all the power to you. But it truly is not for everyone. Hard core fans, casual fans, it doesn't matter, it truly comes down to what you were looking for in a movie. And I love Scott Cawthon and his dedication to the fans, but this really wasn't it and I know he can do better, so I darn sure will be voicing any complaints I have with the film to push him to push the movie crew to do better.

[malevolententity]

hrmgmgm 4ever situ thoughts

this will probably get messy and personal because that Really informs how i feel and i need to expel it from my body LMAO

i still dont know how i feel. or well. i know how i feel but its nuanced and conflicted and im mad that i cant concisely say how i feel. we Know the initial information didnt come out in good faith. we Know that the girls involved were not asked how they felt prior to the callouts. we also can see from current actions that this doesnt happen anymore. that it doesnt represent who he is as a person in recent years.

and i fully believe that people are able to change and grow from past wrong actions. regardless of if those actions were just wrong jokes or Literal Actions.

this cycle never gets easier. ive been on both sides e.g. being like one of the girls. but also being one of the ccs. so i get their no nuance just anger. because m still mad as hell about ike/ciel. as someone who was good friends with him. but also was the same age as his victims and very easily could be considered one by some people. shout out to being two people removed from ironmouse though 🤪.

but ive also like. been in the girls situation. you dig back 11/12 years on here. theres Going to be evidence of 22 year olds with thousands of followers flirting with 13/14 year old me. some of whom were harmless friends making weird tasteless no intent jokes. and some of whom were genuine pedophiles that either were complete strangers or people i knew in real life and called friends. and id be fucking pissed if any of those were taken out of or even in context without my permission. because its my story. if anyones going to be talking about it it should only ever be because i decided i wanted it to be talked about. not some random person having a vendetta against people i used to talk to and finding and using bits of my story as a way to defame someone whos recent actions do not line up with the deplorable actions of them in 20 fucking 12.

and so i cant help but have 800 fucking emotions. because what we know about is gross. but i dont believe he should be fully deplatformed over shit he hasnt done in 5-7 years. and that is absolutely fueled by my emotions because as far as we know. the girls did not ask for him to be deplatformed. the girls stories are being spread without their input to ruin a guys life. and i would feel violated if i was used as evidence by strangers against my will.

but maybe thats just the victim brain in me who will always feel the need to shield some of the guys from my past because its complicated and messy and humans are complicated and messy. and im just projecting. because i have been in those girls position. a few times.

and thats why ive been mostly silent through this whole thing. because i am a Hashtag Bad Victim and no one wants to hear from the people who think were being too hasty and think information should come from the people involved. not twitter sleuths who really fucking hate a cc.

that said for people who need to see it written out. im not supporting him with views on future videos. i still enjoy 4ever as a character. i will still probably reblog 4ever art every now and then, because ive also gone thru this in a dnd fandom where one guy turned out to be a shitter but i still enjoyed his character so i will engage with the character when i feel like it. because that character is not the streamer.

this whole situation just feels bad and unfair to absolutely everyone involved. no one here is winning. celebrating his removal is weird. because the removal means something Did happen and thats horrible. and watching this turn into a spectacle to see who unfollows next/what the next announcement is, is disgusting. this isnt a game and it feels like some of you are treating it that way. these are real lives, these are real people.

side tangent.

i really fucking cant stand everyone whos been comparing this to the dream situations. because every single dream situation has come from victims or people posing as victims. so of course. listen to them and do your own research but believe them from the get go. THIS THOUGH????? WAS ADMITTEDLY UNRELATED PEOPLE WHO HATED A GUY, WHO FOR MONTHS HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO DEPLATFORM HIM. AND FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS ACTIONABLE. of course some of us were going to hold off on forming thoughts and were gonna be skeptical of where the information came from because it was not victims coming forward.

its two different fucking situations and acting like theyre the same is insane to me.

[heich0e]

hi!! i just wanted to say im so happy you’re updating the bff!osamu series omg ive been following you for like a year and i’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for you to come back and i just cannot wait to find out how you resolve their whole situation (if u even will? though an angst ending would ruin me omg…)

you also write miscommunication so well im literally feeling their discomfort and their pain like im feeling it myself. i just want the both of them to be happy but i completely understand readers pov cause a guy bsf switching up on you is one of the worst feelings ever!! the disappointment, the distrust, the overthinking, like if your whole friendship was just built around him thinking he could be with you?? ofc is different with each relationship especially with these two cause reader knows osamu didnt go into this expecting something out of it (cause they were literal kids LMFAO) but its genuinely such a sick feeling and you managed to capture it insanely well my gosh!!

alongside empathising reader, you cant help but root for osamu with all the previous parts showing his side of the story and how he feels so much for reader, like AHHH you just want to root for him (maybe im biased actually) honestly idek where im going with this i just wanted to share my appreciation for this series and im so excited to see how you end this!!!

hello beloved tumblr user reinertiddiejuice. where can i possibly begin.

i think first of all a big fat THANK YOU for sticking around this long even though i am a terrible horrible no good really bad updater is in order. it means so much that you would follow me in the first place, let alone stick around for a YEAR (happy one year btw i am sending u flowers through the world wide web) while i worked through my issues re: bff!osamu and got back on track.

i know miscommunication is something that squicks a lot of people out in fiction, and i completely understand why--it's very frustrating as an objective third party observer (which we all are as readers, regardless of the POV) to witness miscommunication unfold while we have the advantage of easily identifying where it could be rectified, but having to watch the parties involved dance around the solution. but it's always been something that i've enjoyed writing because it's just REAL. human beings kind of SUCK at communicating--that's why people devote their lives and their careers to studying it and improving it. we're particularly bad at it when it comes to Big Feelings or our Needs, and romance is fraught with really critical moments of communication that are often navigated very poorly or at the very least with a lot of difficulty.

i'm so so incredibly grateful that you think i'm doing justice to capturing the feelings these two are going through in the fic, that means a lot to me as a writer that the things I'm hoping to get through to you are making their intended impact :') ESPECIALLY the conflicted feelings. i want people to empathize with both characters, because neither of them is in the WRONG here--it's just a hard situation that they're trying to navigate as best they can.

i adore u. i really do. thank you for reading and thank you for being here and thank you for such a sweet message!! i hope you had a good start to your week, little guy!!

[neteyamsilly]

Okay so yeah as I said I'd be back later, and I am back ( yeah very late lolz) So how are you???? Hope everything is alr? Okie so god, Jake seems pissed, the fatherly rage and all. He gon fuck up the person that dare interrupted this moment. Like my man was finally having a heart felt moment and finally realized his mistakes ( at long last) and was trying to correct them, but no, it can't happen not so soon anyways. Like this guy, I kinda feel bad for us when this old father was finally admitting his mistakes, some douchebag had to ruin it. like I can imagine the us goin "Aye U mf, this bish was finally, finally apologizing and u had to ruin it didn't you? Leave my father man I'll fuck you up, dumb bitch couldn't handle bein humiliated by dad and mom once that you come back again for more?"

I WANT NEYETIRI'S REACTION FOR THE NAME JACK, AND I SAW SM1 IN YOUR ASKS SAYING THE NAME JACK THE CANNIBAL. AND I LOVED IT WHOEVER HAD THAT IDEA. I CAN IMAGINE NEYETIRI GOING- SHE'S TOO MUCH OF A COPY LIKE HER FATHER- Like bro but god I re-read it again all the parts and I cried, an emotional wreak, the lucid dreaming? oh it felt so true, like it was not a part of ur fiction but the actual movie. This is how good your writing is. Okie so as you said we are heading to the Metkayina Clan. I want a lil info if psbl. Is she gonna fall in love with one of the Metkayinan Boy or Girl? I've never, ever been obsessed with a piece of Fiction so damn bad as this one. I'm addicted to this man, what you write hits right in the damn feels. Love you <33 AND YEE PAY FOR MY AND OTHER'S THERAPY BILLS. IMMA SEND MINE NEXT.

FIRST OF ALL NO I CANNOT PAY FOR ANY THERAPY I CANT EVEN AFFORD MYSELF 💀💀💀

AND totally uncalled for TMI but i wanna complain a bit,,,, I started my period today and things suck it hurts. the radiator in my room also broke down and im cold its winter here. but like. im happy regardless bc i have you guys<3 constantly am reminded there's a small crowd out there on the internet who love me (maybe) and my writing so im cheered up instantly. yes im being cheesy im on my period EXCUSE ME

MOVING ON THOUGH i want to say that man was one of the recombinants in quaritch's squad that wasn't quite killed and only wounded. the rest of his squad got extraction but he didn't, so that's how he made his way to the tree of souls trying to navigate the forest. i didnt really gave context to how sister!reader's rescue went because she was very focused on herself and her claustrophobic panic at the moment but YEAH I thought it'd be cool to establish a bit of a butterfly effect HSHSJDS ur gonna see what jake does with him it's going to be interesting

(ALSO THANK YOU AQSA TO THINK ITS THAT DESCRIPTIVE AND CLEAR THAT YOU COULD LUCID DREAM AHHHHSDSDBSJKDBK)

OOF to be honest i only have bits and pieces for the metkayina plot. if i were to write about it i think i'd do just headcanons? i dont have a lot tbh,,,,, nothing is set in stone at the moment. for the romance i have ideas i entertain, sister!reader is a character who can have interesting dynamics with everyone due to her personality. i havent really planned anything at all so i just dont know. i really am planning to leave the ending ambiguous sorry AHAHAH

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[qualityempathshoebear]

Obsession Session (As promised)

Ok so let me show you how delusional i am by telling you as much as i can remember about the boy. Ill call him ceaser salad for now. So basically, me, him, and my friend from sociology talked and laughed, and even played heads and tails together. Once the open-evening was over he headed out before us, and me and my friend went to say bye to our teacher. My friend got picked up by her dad and I decided to go to my busstop down in town, I passed by the busstop closest to the school and figured I would get on the bus to take me to town rather than walking down, but for some reason I decided to not get on the bus. I dont know if it was because I had seen ceaser salad in front of me or because i simply didnt feel like it. But the point is that i didnt get on the bus. I walked up to him instead. We stood next to eachother at the crossing stop light and waited for the sign to turn green. Two girls came up behind us and i used it as an excuse to turn my head and pretend like I had just noticed him standing there.

We gave eachother weird looks and then he began talking to me, or maybe i did to him? I cant remember. Regardless, we were talking. He poked fun at my accent any chance he got, told me I was smart, and even made fun of me for waiting on green lights before crossing the road (as if he hadnt stood and waited there himself; which makes the delusional side of my brain think he was waiting for me). We talked about movies and i told him about how scary movies were my favourite. I feel like he was constantly fliring with me, but i dont know if im just delusional. When we got to another road crossing thingy (I have no clue what theyre cllaed) I told him to "click the button" so we could cross, to which he stopped in his tracks in front of it and said "what do you say after that?". It took me a moment to realise what he meant so we said "please" at the same time. He then clicked the button and said "there are your manners". I just responded with scoffed chuckle. THAT SURE FEELS LIKE FLIRTING TO ME. We then walked for a while longer and he asked if i drank, I told him "not really" and asked if he did, he said he drinks but only on "special occasions", whatever that means. I asked if he vaped, he said he didnt, and i told him i would have bullied him if he did. We then saw the aftermath of a car crashing into a pole by mcdonalds, and I said "thats what happens when you dont wait for the light to turn green before crossing" he then very sheepishly responded "no, thats what happens when you cant fucking drive". He then stopped by the scene because he said he was planning on "being nosy" to which i obviously scolded him for inserting himself into peoples car-crashes. He asked if i was turning left, I said yes. I waved bye to him, although im not sure if he did the same, and then we parted ways. I only then realised I hadnt gotten his socials, but I feel like he would have asked me if he wanted mine. To be fair, if he had asked me after we parted, i wouldnt have been able to hear him over the noise. I havent been able to get him out of my head and its honestly ruining my mood, because I know ill probably never see him on camous again and even if i did i doubt hed talk to me or is even thinking of this encounter the way I am. I feel like he maybe just has a flirty personality because he was kind of like that when we were hanging out with my friend. Ugh I just need to forget about him, but I honestly hope he lowkey is thinking about me too. I wasnt wearing any makeup (not even mascara), and my hair was fucked and matted, there is just no way he actually likes me. UGHHH this is so annoying. Anyways ill end this here because ill just hate myself if i keep thinking about this, plus ive got exams coming up i cant be thinking about this. Byeeee.

[syntheticxhope]

Since i cant tell her this...I need to get it off my chest. Ive never got to tell you everything...

This is going to be long but ive kept everything inside and i cant talk to you so i might as well just scream it into the void....

I dont care if it makes me look weird, i dont care what people think. But i cared so much about you and im not going to pretend I didnt love you more than ive loved in a long time. You were special to me even though it may not seem like that.... Im sorry you saw a bad side of me....i had a feeling this trip would ruin us..... You know I wasnt big on talking on the phone before you, it bothered me as i liked my alone time and i get annoyed by people easily. I think even the first few times you attempted that with me I pushed u away. But I caved and i actually enjoyed it with you. Everyday I couldnt wait to fall asleep with u on the phone, things felt different. I looked at you and saw someone i wanted to get to know, someone i wanted to protect... i wanted to know what you liked, i wanted to know your past, your future plans and secrets you never told anyone. I cared about you beyond your looks and what we did. I was interested deeply in you, something i rarely feel. You know im bummed we didnt get to explore more things together... our secret relationship made it hard. And i know you were ashamed of me. But regardless of our restrictions i loved very minute we spent together. Nothing could compare to us laying in bed together laughing and talking about everything and nothing. I remember driving you home one night listening to music and looking over at you and feeling like the luckiest guy ever, i felt a weird mixture of butterflies and this weird feeling i never felt before.... You know how people say when u find the right one you will know it... i think thats what i felt. I found who and what i wanted. Weekends havent felt the same since then. It hurts me that i spent so much time fighting with you, i spent so much time stressed about this trip and about whether u were honest with me. I found gold and i didnt want to lose you. No amount of sorrys can take back the pain i caused you. I beat myself up everyday for what happened. I think about you with him everyday and it eats at me. He doesnt appreciate you like i did. And i have to accept that you didnt care for me. Which is the hardest thing ever. I thought i would be enough for you to finally make a move to leave him... i thought u wanted that. I beleived in her so much. I wanted to be your backbone. I wanted to show you love that you deserved. And it hurts me that you still choose him She doesnt know I had been saving up and getting plans set for a trip for us and all the stuff i put into place has gone to waste. I was going to convince her to go to korea with me like we talked about before.... just a place she always wanted to go. A place that was one of the first things we conversed about. I had a grand plan to ask her to be my girlfriend for real there, to be public with us. Because someone you want to court deserves a grand gesture. But it all got ruined with that stupid trip to PH. All that being said, i dont care how i look.... im sorry for everything and i wish you finally just get out of that situation and start living for urself. No more excuses, i want u to be happy. Moving forward, im stopping being friends with our mutual friends because you need them more than me. I dont want u to be alone... because thats not what love is about. Tho im mad at them for not sticking up for me. Im glad you have someone. PLease make me proud baby. Ill always cherish our time together and ill always dream about a world where everything worked out. Im forever sorry you saw a bad side of me... im sorry for everything.... Tho it was a short time i really cared about you. You were something special to me. I love you baby, and how i wish i could hear you say those words again. Ill drive safe, ill think about you... please be happy and be healthy. Stand up for yourself.. you are stronger than you think. Goodbye baby I

[1d1195]

I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!

It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.

I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol

I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!

I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?

Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜

Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!

She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...

That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)

They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha

I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).

Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕

xoxo