#so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner

[fairuzfan]

"Israel also secretly hires Jewish Americans as spies to work out of its Washington embassy and its consulates around the United States to covertly surveil and monitor fellow Americans, including students. Thoroughly vetted to ensure loyalty to Israel, many of those hired have spent years heavily involved in pro-Israeli activities from the time they were in college and before. Among them was Julia Reifkind, who led a pro-Israel group at the University of California at Davis before moving on to become an activist with AIPAC. After she graduated in 2016, she was hired by Israel and assigned to its embassy in Washington.

Reifkind had good preparation for her assignment. Thinking that Kleinfeld was a fellow pro-Israel activist, over dinner at Washington’s Mari Vanna restaurant she revealed that while at AIPAC she spent much of her time deceiving college students about her covert connection to the organization. “Obviously, I’m an AIPAC-trained campus activist,” she said. “When you’re lobbying on behalf of AIPAC, you don’t say AIPAC, you say, ‘I’m a pro-Israel student from UC Davis.’ And when you’re meeting with students on campus I would never say, ‘I am the AIPAC campus rep.’ I’d say, ‘My name is Julia and I’m a pro-Israel student.’”

At the embassy, Reifkind focused on developing intelligence on fellow Americans, including students on college campuses. “So nobody really knows what we’re doing,” she said. “But mainly it’s been a lot of research like monitoring BDS.”

In a different conversation, Reifkind explained: “It’s mainly gathering intel, reporting back to Israel. That’s a lot of what I do. To report back to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Strategic Affairs, and make sure they have the right information.” Among the ways she spies on pro-Palestinian activists and Palestinian human rights supporters is with phony Facebook accounts. “I have my fake Facebook that I follow all the SJP [Students for Justice in Palestine] accounts. I have some fake names. My name is Jay Bernard or something.”

Once Reifkind collected the intelligence on her targets, she passed it on to her boss at the embassy. Then it was sent to the Ministry of Strategic Affairs and other offices over a secure encrypted system called Cables. It’s “really secure,” she said. “I don’t have access to [it] because I’m an American.… I’ve seen it, it looks really bizarre…. And then they’ll send something back and he’ll translate it and tell me what I need to do.”

Since the brutal Hamas attacks on Israeli civilians on October 7 and the Israeli invasion of Gaza, the ICC and its US-based spy networks are no doubt working overtime. But there is little likelihood of interference by the FBI—well trained to look the other way when it comes to Israel. It was a situation that even frustrated a former head of the FBI’s counterintelligence division. When I asked him why no one would talk to me about Israel’s massive espionage in the United States, he simply shook his head.

“You don’t think Israel’s a sensitive topic?” he asked, requesting that his name not be used. “So, Israel has been looked at and is being looked at and that’s all I can tell you,” he said. “But nobody’s doing anything.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“You can imagine,” is all he would say, implying high-level political involvement. I then said that I was planning to write about the topic. “I hope you do. I hope you do,” he said. Sighing, he added, “I’ve been there done that. I know it. I’ve brought cases to the Department of Justice on Israel.” Cases that were never opened."

— Israel’s War on American Student Activists by James Bamford on The Nation

[vent-stink]

Hongjoong takes care of Y/n for the weekend (Atz Hybrid AU)

a/n: (The POV is so inconsistent and I'm too impatient to go back through and fix it, so you're going to see y/n, she, her, and you, all over the place) c/w: smut, fluff, hybrids, presumed toxic power dynamic, not proofread parings: owner!HJ x cat hybrid!reader; fox hybrid!wooyoung x reader, brief owner!Seonghwa x reader and allusions to cat hybrid!san x reader w/c: 2.3k words

"Be good for Hongjoong, y/n," Seonghwa said, petting his kitten's hair as he went to leave Hongjoong's apartment. "When are you coming back?" she pouted, and he chuckled, "Soon, my baby. Sunday." He put his hands on her face and kissed her cheek lovingly. "Okay, daddy," she mumbled. He kissed her nose before Hongjoong, with a smile, bid him goodbye as he left the apartment.

Wooyoung was bouncing on his feet. "You're going to stay with us, Kitty!" he said excitedly. Her ears perked up a little, but her tail stayed low and Hongjoong chuckled, petting her head. "Don't worry, y/n, you're going to have a lot of fun. Time will pass by so fast that you will see Seonghwa in no time." She nodded in acceptance before Wooyoung started showing her all of his toys and his snacks. Her guard quickly fell and she felt as though it was the first time she and Wooyoung had a playdate and she felt comfortable quickly. Hongjoong let them play as he ordered them something to eat. Wooyoung usually did the cooking since he was shit at it, but he was clearly occupied at the moment.

Hongjoong ended up doing work until the food got there, and thankfully the hybrids still had their clothes on as he passed them to open the door for the delivery man. The two were simply cuddling, y/n curled atop Wooyoung's chest as her tail swayed in content. Hongjoong snapped a picture and let them sleep for a little while longer, but eventually got too hungry and sprayed Wooyoung in the face with a water bottle to wake him up.

Wooyoung sputtered and whined angrily at Hongjoong. "Come eat or the food will get cold," Hongjoong said, "Don't let your friend starve." Right on cue, y/n's stomach growled, startling herself awake. Hongjoong and Wooyoung could only look at her with adoration over how cute she was.

"Come y/n, let's eat," Wooyoung said, making her get up with him and holding her hand to lead her to the kitchen as she cutely rubbed her eyes awake with her other hand.

Y/n stretched and sniffed the air, salivating at the smell of the food. "Thank- thank you, sir." She didn't know how to address him... he wasn't her daddy but he was hey daddy's friend, so "sir" felt appropriate. Hongjoong smiled warmly at her sweetness, "Of course, y/n."

After dinner, y/n attempted to sleep with Wooyoung in his bed, tangled with him comfortably, but she just couldn't get herself to sleep. She wanted to twist and turn, but she didn't want to wake up Wooyoung, so she quietly got up, tip-toeing to the living room.

She mewled sadly, missing Seonghwa so much. She took the landlines and dialed his number, almost whimpering when he picked up. "Hello?" "Daddy," She sniffled tearfully, "I miss you."

Seonghwa's heart broke and San curiously asked him if it was y/n. He hushed San and listened to you cry. "Y/n-ah, did anything happen?" "No... but I can't sleep because I miss you."

Seonghwa let out a breath of awe at how cute she was being. He loved his sweet kitten so much. "Were you sleeping with Wooyoung before, baby? Why don't you try sleeping with Hongjoong?" "Do... do you think he'll let me?" "Give the phone to him, I'll ask for you.'

Y/n tip-toed to Hongjoong's room, knocking. There was no response so she peaked in, seeing Hongjoong's form laying on the bed. "Sir," she whispered quietly. She made her way to the side of his bed, kneeling. "Sir," she whispered again, and he let out a small snort as he woke suddenly from his sleep. "I'm sorry for waking you," She said softly, handing him the phone, "Daddy wants to talk to you."

Hongjoong gingerly pet her head as he took the phone up to his ear, his head falling back as he absent-mindely continued to stroke her head and ears as he stared at the ceiling.

"Hello?" "Sorry to bother you, Hongjoong-ah." Hongjoong shook his head though his friend couldn't see him, "No, it's fine. What's up? Is everything okay?"

"Y/nnie is too used to sleeping with me as her owner, she's not used to sleeping with hybrids. She doesn't even sleep with San at night. Do you think she could sleep with you?" Hongjoong looked at y/n who was purring due him so gently touching her ears.

"Come sleep, y/n," Hongjoong called and she quicking got into bed with him, tail waving in content as she curled comfortably against his chest. Hongjoong continued on the phone with a yawn, "Yeah, I got her. No problem." "Alright, thank you, Hongjoong, I'll let you sleep." "Say goodnight to daddy, y/n," Hongjoong said and she did as told, also with a yawn. Seonghwa chuckled, returning her bid goodnight before the call finally ended and both y/n and Hongjoong quickly fell asleep.

Hongjoong's wet dreams were becoming so increasingly vivid, he was worried he might have become a porn addict when the girl in his dream was taking him with her mouth so well that he almost could feel it on his actual dick. However, when he stirred from sleep, the dream fading from his mind, he realized the sensation on his cock still remained and he quickly sat up with a surprised moan as he saw y/n looking up at him, her mouth touching the base of his cock. "Oh shit, y/n," He bucked into her mouth and she gagged, taking it as a good sign as she worked him faster, responding to his sounds. He was different than Seonghwa in regards to how he liked his head, she noticed, but she was determined to please him. He fisted her hair in his hand, though not exerting any force, letting her take him at the pace she wanted before he unloaded into her mouth. As his hips trembled, she swallowed his seed with a lick of her lips, sticking her tongue out to prove to him that she did.

He could only watch her in disbelief as she crawled back up to him, cuddling into his chest. "Did I do good, sir?" Hongjoong, still stunned, couldn't do anything but cuddle and pet her, praising her for her performance, all while feeling like he had taken advantage of Seonghwa's precious kitten. Sure, she played with Wooyoung and San all the time, but in his position as her temporary guardian he felt like he had taken advantage of her, even though she was the one who had woken him up like this. He really hoped he hadn't betrayed Seonghwa.

"You did so good, precious," Hongjoong mumbled, and she purred at the praise. He didn't want her to feel bad at all. She definitely did good, but he had to talk to Seonghwa before this got even more out of hand than it already had.

They could tell Wooyoung had woken up when they heard his cry upon realizing that his kitty friend was not in bed with him anymore. Hongjoong tucked his cock away as he knew Wooyoung would come in here next, and he was right when Wooyoung slammed the door open. Hongjoong snapped at him, "Wooyoung, be careful with the door, you might break the wall!"

Wooyoung recoiled before recollecting himself, huffing as he took y/n out of his arms, "Let's go have a bath, y/nnie". (I'd write this, but it would literally just be me rewriting this already perfect smut by @atinycafe). Wooyoung took y/n by the hand and led her to his bathroom, leaving Hongjoong feeling guilty but satisfied in his bed.

As y/n and Wooyoung were doing lord knows what in the bathroom, Hongjoong sat at his kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and his phone ringing Seonghwa's number.

Seonghwa answered with a yawn, "Morning, Hongjoong-ah. What's up? Was y/n able to sleep?" Hongjoong spoke nervously, "Uh...yeah, she was out like a light. I'm surprised that worked. I thought she wouldn't be able to sleep unless it was you." Seonghwa breathed a sigh of relief, "Yeah, I figured she'd be able to sleep better if she felt more safe with her caretaker, even if it wasn't me. She trusted me to leave her with you, so she trusts you, too." Hongjoong wanted to beat his head on the table from how guilty he was feeling. She trusted him and he went and got his dick sucked. "Fuck," Hongjoong groaned. "What? What's wrong?" "I'm really sorry Seonghwa..." he mumbled, and Seonghwa suddenly got very worried. "Hongjoong, what happened?" "This morning, I woke up, I- fuck, this is embarrassing, but I thought I was having a wet dream, but it turns out she was sucking my cock, and fuck, I didn't tell her to or anything, but she was so fucking good and I fucking let her finish, and I'm sorry for taking advantage of her." Seonghwa was silent. Hongjoong was sure he would rush home, take y/n away, and end their friendship before the older man finally let a laugh slip through. Before he knew it, Seonghwa was in a fit of laughter on the other line, feeling bad for his friend whom he had not warned beforehand. Hongjoong was dumbfounded. "I'm sorry, Hongjoong, I should have told you. She, nor I, have any problem with her taking care of your morning wood. It's like a comforting routine to her. You don't have to feel bad for enjoying it, you're allowed to take advantage of her desire to please." Hongjong felt like he was short-circuiting at Seonghwa's words, happy that Seonghwa was not there to witness his flushed face. "Ah... is that so?" he mumbled, calmly placing his head down on the counter, relieved. "Yeah," Seonghwa chuckled, "Don't worry about it. She can take care of you all she wants, I'm more worried about her being careless with Wooyoung than anything." Hongjoong gave a short laugh, "Yeah, I'm like 90% sure they're playing together in the bathtub right now." "Ahh, jeez. Now that I'll ask you to keep check on. I want her to have kittens if she wants to one day, but definitely not right now while she's so young. You know how desperate she gets with your damn fox," Seonghwa sighed, making Hongjoong chuckle, "Roger that. Sorry for scaring you." "I'm the one who's sorry for not warning you sooner. I'll let you go, though, Hongjoong. I'll talk to you later." With a final goodbye, Hongjoong hung up and was quick to check on Wooyoung and y/n. He could only stifle a groan at the mess of water Wooyoung had made on the floor from splashing around so much. He couldn't exactly see what was going on under the water, but he could tell it wasn't anything innocent as Wooyoung's hands were nowhere to be seen and y/n's heavenly noises reverberated against the tiles of the bathroom. Honestly, Hongjoong could have brought himself to just stand there and listen to the symphony coming out of her mouth, but opted to give you and Wooyoung some privacy since you hadn't gotten to play together like this yesterday the way he had expected you to. After they washed up, Hongjoong just had some cereal for them to eat for breakfast. To his surprise and Wooyoung's childish disappointment, y/n clung to Hongjoong's side. "Y/n, I was very surprised when you woke me up this morning," he said softly, petting her. She worried that she was going to get scolded so she timidly asked, "You didn't like it?" "No! No, I liked it. I loved it, you were very good. You're such a good girl," Hongjoong praised her, making her relax, "But your daddy didn't tell me that you like to do that, so I was very shocked. It's not your fault, though. Now, I know."

She smiled, kissing his cheek before eating her cereal. Wooyoung glared a Hongjoong a little making Hongjoong "tsk" at him. For the remainder of their time together, y/n would spend her time by Hongjoong's feet if he was working and when he was too busy or not home, she would be tangled, skin to skin, with Wooyoung either playing or napping at any given moment. She also continued to aid Hongjoong in the morning as he was expecting it this time.

When Seonghwa came back to pick her up, she nearly cried at the overwhelming feeling of missing her daddy as she jumped on him, legs wrapping around his waist as he chuckled at her crying in his arms, patting her back comfortingly. Hongjoong and Wooyoung had done a great job of distracting her from how much she missed him, but it all came flooding back as soon as he walked through the door.

"I heard you had lots of fun with Wooyoung and took care of Hongjoong like a good girl," Seonghwa said, giving her loving kisses and she nodded eagerly as he stroked the side of her waist. "Oh, my girl missed me so much," he said as she nuzzled his neck. He looked up at Hongjoong who was looking at her fondly while Wooyoung was pouting at the fact that his friend had to leave.

"Will y/nnie come back?" Wooyoung asked, pouting. Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's head, "I'll drop her off again so you guys can have playdates, of course, but I missed my girl so much, I don't know if can go so long without her like this again."

"You know, I didn't understand, before, why you were just as infatuated with her as Wooyoung and San, but I think I'm beginning to understand," Hongjoong said. Morning blowjob aside, he couldn't help but fall for your charm throughout the weekend as you really did take care of him, removing his shoes, cooking for him with Wooyoung, and just being the epitome of a good companion.

Seonghwa could only smile proudly, "That's my girl, of course." His kitten's tail waved in acknowledgment of the praise she was receiving. She definitely enjoyed this weekend.

[marauders-peace]

Embarrassing!

Summary: The marauders are popular in school, sure. But that doesn't mean that they are really nice. In the end you are just living the basic high-school experience.

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Gryffindor!reader

Warnings: Low self esteem, past bullying?, This is no bully! Marauders fic!!

"You four back there, pull yourselves together now or I'll break you up!"

James' laughter could be heard all the way to the front, to my ears, along with the giggling of the girls next to me.

Great. So I must have been wrong again.

Professor McGonagall was now looking at me, teachingly. "To get back on topic. You have the right idea, but it's not quite that simple. To transform a body, it is of great importance…"

~

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. You weren't that far off the mark." Lily tried to comfort me. That was easy for her to say, she would never be wrong.

And the golden git Gryffindors would never make fun of her.

"Maybe."

"Evans, will you come here?" There stood the loverboy James, ready to have another go at her.

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled apologetically at me. "Don't take these idiots seriously, okay?"

With that, she walked in his direction, and did just that.

But I shouldn't be so hard on her because she was really trying to cheer me up, even though we're not really friends. She's clearly, well, more present than my friend Amy and me.

Amy was Gryffindor just like me, but didn't have transfiguration. She called the subject "A walking unnecessary babble".

Oh how I wish I had thought that when I chose my subjects.

I could still see Sirius grinning as James talked to Lily, Remus just stood there ashamed and Peter patted him on the shoulder.

Sirius noticed my look and whispered something to Remus, who flinched and turned away. I snorted.

Sirius' laughter was still ringing loudly in my ears, long after I had escaped to Amy's and my dorm.

~

"Well, I think they're really annoying. That's all." Amy pushed a plate of dinner towards me. She immediately realized something was wrong and I wasn't ready to go to dinner. I was very glad she was so good at the invisibility spell.

"Yes, but everyone likes them. Even Lily likes the four of them, even though she's always upset about them!" I groaned loudly and accepted the plate gratefully.

Amy looked at me with a smile. "Well, I don't really like them. They're entertaining, but I think they lack empathy."

"I think they're all stupid ego centers who only make themselves so important because they actually feel so bad about themselves." I took a big bite.

"And yet you can't stop talking about the four of them." Amy was grinning now. "I thought you said the other day that 'Remus isn't actually that bad and nice to talk to'?"

I almost choked at the mention of meeting the quieter boy of the group. It had been three months since we had met and talked in the library.

"That was something else. He just watches and lets the others get away with everything." I quietly turned to my food and Amy dropped the subject.

Oh, how I hated this cycle. Getting up. Eating at a house table where I know everyone and yet no one really. Subjects in which I will eventually make a mistake. Skipping meals to avoid the stares. Sleeping.

Hogwarts isn't that different from other schools. The same faces making fun of the same things. But we're all supposed to be adults soon, aren't we?

I should stop before I sound like an angsty teen.

~

Breakfast. New day, same course. I sat down opposite Amy and a laugh escaped my lips at one of her jokes.

But then another girl sat down next to me. Marlene McKinnon.

"Hey, you two, how are you?" she smiled, but something made me uncomfortable.

"Good, good." Amy laughed. "And you?"

"Oh, just fine." Marlene looked at my plate as if to check something. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable having a few chocolate cookies in the morning.

She turned to me. Oh no.

"Hey, this might be a bit sudden, but I'd like to know something." There was this twinkle in her eye that I didn't like at all.

I looked at Amy, who just shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay?" Very carefully. Don't make any big mistakes.

"If you had to date someone from Gryffindor, who would it be?"

I looked confusedly at Amy, who had to pull herself together not to burst out laughing.

"What?"

Marlene shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, I was just a bit curious as I've never seen you in a relationship with anyone before."

I saw her eyes twitch briefly to the right. When I looked in that direction, not very inconspicuously, I saw Sirius whispering something to James. He grinned at Remus in response.

Oh.

"Well, I can't really think of anyone right now, sorry Marlene."

She looked at me in surprise and wanted to say something, but Amy gasped in shock. Shocked, she clutched her chest. "After everything we've been through!" she didn't exactly say that quietly. To my dismay, quite a few heads turned towards us. Including the idiots.

"Amy-" I began, but she talked herself into her theater rage. "Hush! I don't want to hear any excuses! I thought we were something special! But no. In the end, I'm just another one of the many picks that will never be taken." She stood up. She skillfully looked away and took in the audience. "I can reassure you. I was prepared for all of this."

"Amy, it's not what you think!" I played along a little now. "I couldn't be so open about something so… Say something like that!"

Amy furrowed her brow. "Girl, no homo."

The Gryffindor table laughed and we fled the room.

Outside, we also laughed a bit, but Amy quickly composed herself.

"Did you see how he looked at you?"

I furrowed my brow. "Who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Remus, of course."

"Maybe it's because you made a big show," I said playfully, heading towards our next class.

"Hmm, but I think then he wouldn't have looked at you so longingly-"

"Amy!"

"With red cheeks and big heart eyes!" I walked faster while she laughed.

"That's all nonsense. Marlene only asked because one of those idiots requested it."

Amy looked at me confused. "Why would they do that?"

"Oh, they were looking at us too. And yesterday they were whispering among themselves. They probably find me really funny."

Amy became very quiet after that.

The only sounds were our footsteps and voices in the distance.

"You know," Amy began quieter than usual. "It's not like it used to be. We're all slowly growing up. We're not the odd ones out anymore. I think," she took a deep breath. "That the four of them won't make fun of us, of you, anymore."

How much I wished I could believe that. But I won't be able to, even if Remus talks to me in the library or Peter asks me if I like certain creatures.

Because in the end, I gave up on that a long time ago.

[loves0phelia]

Always Knew

Summery: ???

Words: 1,1k

Warnings: alcohol (barely)

A/N: this is my first ever fic, and English is not my first language so if I make any mistake please be nice and if someone sees this I would really appreciate receiving request xxx

The first time you saw Rafe Cameron you were 7 years old. It was the first time Sarah invited you over at TanneyHill a couple days after meeting you in her first grade class. 

Like normal girls, you and her went on a bike ride. You briefly remember Ward and Rose saying to not go far since dinner was almost ready. But the only memory that stuck in your mind was how he managed to make you feel better.

Unlike all your friends you still had trouble riding a bike without the training wheels. So when one of them caught a small pebble on the ground it went sideways. By now you were back in front of the Cameron house so when Rafe heard your cries, he along with his dad and stepmother rushed outside.

You were holding your knee in pain. the skin was scraped and your palms were bleeding. 

“Are you okay?” he had asked before kneeling in front of you while Sarah and the rest of the family watched the interaction. For a small second you almost forgot about your injuries as you looked into his bright blue eyes. 

“y-yeah” you wiped your tears and he looked you up and down and then to the small wheels on the bike.

“ I can teach you to ride a bike without those if you want one day” You nodded and he gave you a smile.

Even at 7 years old you knew you would love Rafe Cameron.

Since that incident you had seen him a handful of times. But the next memorable time was when you were 10. Rafe was celebrating his 13th birthday in the backyard of his house. Multiple kids were having fun in the pool and some were eating cake.You and Sarah along with some  were sitting next to the pool drinking lemonade and eating fruits enjoying the day like everyone else.

“Hey Sarah, do you want to play with us in the pool?” a 11 year old Topper asked. The boy always had a crush on her.

“Sure! Want to come with us y/n?” she asked sweetly but you politely refused before continuing sipping on your cold drink.

After a couple minutes some of the kids (who you think were Rafe’s friends) approached you.

“Don't you want to come in the pool with everyone” he asked judgmentally but once 

again you decline seeing no problem in staying out of the water.

“Come on!” he tugged on your arm forcefully, leaving a small bruise and dragged you towards the pool. You trashed and tried to break free but just as the boy was about to push you in, Rafe grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him to the ground.

“She doesn't want to go in the pool, idiot!” He screamed, immediately alarming the adults who were having a great time.

“What's going on Rafe?” Ward came to the scene noticing the frighten boy on the ground and Rafe above him.

“He was trying to push Y/N in!” he said and his dad looked at you for confirmation, making you nod.

After that day, it felt like Rafe was always near when you needed him.

At 18 when all your friends were talking about their recent hookups you hadn't even held hands with someone. You were desperate to find someone, to share your first kiss. But It felt like nobody was good enough.

“what's going on in this pretty head of yours?” Your head snapped to the side when you heard his voice. You were sitting outside holding an unfinished beer outside the party where you felt you didn't belong.

“nothing, just felt overwhelmed inside” you shake my head and look down at your feet.

“Come on, y/n i know you. I know there's more than that” he said and gave you a light push with his elbow.

“I feel like I'm missing out, everyone I know has kissed or hooked up with someone and I've never even held hands with a guy. Sarah had Topper and now John B. Sabrina has kissed probably every girl on this island, Kelce always has a new girlfriend and you… you probably had tons of girlfriends” you sighed feeling embarrassed with my lack of experience.

“I've never had a girlfriend,” he whispered and you could barely hear him.

“You're such a liar” you laugh, a blow of wind makes your hair fall in front of my face.

“im serious y/n” he says and gently brushes away your hair behind your ear.

“h-how you're Rafe Cameron, like the hottest guy in the entire outer banks” your words fell from your mouth before you  had time to think about them.

“You think I'm hot?” He laughed again and your cheeks reddened now realizing what you had just said. Quickly you had your face in your hands, beer long forgotten on the pavement.

“Oh God, did I really say that?” He continued laughing and you stayed hidden behind your hand trying to create a shield to protect yourself from the embarrassment. But your barrier is broken when his hands grabbed yours to pull them away.

Not wanting to face him  you kept your head down, chin tucked against your neck. But when his hand grabbed your chin to make you look at him it was inevitable.

When your gaze finally connects with his, you notice the glimmer in his eyes. Rafe’s hand traveled from your chin to your  jaw, you felt your heartbeat elevate as the tension between the two of you rose. 

“Can I kiss you, please?” he asked even though his lips were already inches away from yours and eagerly you nodded.

His lips finally connected with yours, after years of secretly yearning for Rafe Cameron.

His hand that was previously on your jaw drops down to your neck as he deepens the kiss. 

It feels like the kiss lasted forever when you separate. his forehead drops down on yours and a breathy laugh escapes his mouth.

“I always knew you would be my first kiss” you whisper and a smile breaks onto his soft lips it could light up an entire room.

“And I always knew I would end up with you, remember when you fell off your bike in middle school?” you nod after he asked his question.

“even though i didn't know what love was back then, i knew i loved you” both of his hands grabs your face softly, gently rubbing his thumbs on the apple of your cheeks before pressing his lips to yours passionately.

at this very moment you also knew you would never love anyone more than you love Rafe Cameron

[yannaryartside]

CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 

Some examples of lies people belive:

"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 

Long post underneath.

THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:

We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."

I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.

But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:

THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC

Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.

It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.

In the scene, Carmy asked,

"What is so hard, Mom?"

I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?

When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.

Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.

This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.

Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.

THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES

According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.

The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:

I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.

This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).

PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?

Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.

When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."

When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.

Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"

And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.

But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.

In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.

All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.

Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.

[barbiesmuse]

FINE LINE. ₊˚⊹♡

;ֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָsimon riley + reader

summary: you knew it was over, in fact, it never really began. but in your heart, it was oh-so-real.

tags: introduction to a new series! there is cliffhanger smut and talk of religion but that's mostly all!

head barbie's announcements: i'm back! after a long break that was totally needed because my brain was fried!! my masterlist will be updated, this will be a series so just think of this as the backstory, anddddd that's all! kisses and hugs for u always. if this is offensive or makes anyone uncomfortable i apologize and i will take it down without a problem!! this is just an idea for a fic! if you like it maybe i'll continue! “Am I making you feel sick?”

The hate you had for Simon Riley ran deep. Before you met him you were a good girl. You went to church every Sunday, volunteered to help in youth groups, and were the Priest's daughter. It was a life filled with love, community, and toxicity. Your father had been waiting to auction you off to his favorite usher's son. Your father judged a book by its cover; unfortunately for you, that meant almost no friends.

So when a young man and his mother come to church for the first time, your father is less than thrilled. His mother was known around town, she was a sleaze. She was outgoing, boisterous, and sometimes flirty. Your father called her a jezebel, although you tried to ignore his rude comments and welcome them into the church. Simon's mother thought you were the cutest thing since Polly Pocket, although you didn't quite resemble Polly your tiny stature was often compared to her. Her son, Simon was the complete opposite. He was quiet, shy, and often never spoke. That was comforting to you, everyone in the church always had something to say, except for him. You had tried countless times to invite him to youth groups and asked him for dinner! Your father scolded you, although you didn't care what he thought of the new followers, to you they deserve all the love. Once Simon had gotten to know you more, he had liked you. You were small, and kind, and your big eyes made him groan internally. You were the perfect kind of toy for him to play with. Gullible and bashful. The more you hung around Simon the more worldly you became. Your father took notice and made sure you knew how disappointed he was. Not only did he ground and ban you from seeing your new friend, but he also forced a purity ring onto your hand. Your father was a sick man. There have been many scandals surrounding him. He simply shushed them away with money. His only way out of any bad situation. In a way, Simon reminded you of your father before the church. Loving, caring, and gentle.

You had often snuck out late at night to visit Simon. The two of you would meet up at a park called “Condamnée.” The park was a safe place for both of you. After your father had put the purity ring on you, you needed to speak to Simon. Only he could make your sweet little heart feel better. To say you felt like a sinner would be an understatement. But you couldn't help it. Simon was like a bad habit, something you kept running back to. You didn't know if it was possible to let him go, you felt like there was a strong connection between the two of you. When Simon sees the ring on your pretty finger he can't help but smirk. You looked up at him with teary eyes and he caressed your cheek gently. “You've let a silly little ring get you all worked up like this, peaches?” He would say in a condescending tone. You simply nodded with a pout. What he did next surprised you, but you couldn't ignore the wet feeling in your pink panties as he did it. He slid the ring off of your finger and took off the silver chain he wore. He slid the ring onto the chain and then clasped it around his neck. You looked at him with wide eyes and he simply chuckled. “Oh my gosh, I'm going to hell!” You said with a quiver of your lips. He chuckled and pushed you onto the bench. He bent down in front of you and kissed your ankles.

“Y'r here for a good time, not a long one peaches.” He said as he kissed up your legs. It felt wrong, it was wrong. Yet the feeling of his tongue gracing the inside of your thighs made you squirm. He looked up at you with a sinister smirk. He had his hood on so all you could see were his honey brown eyes and the skull imprint of his mask. Sick. This was sick. You tried to tell yourself to push him away, but you couldn't. He felt too good. As his tongue reached your panties he looked up at you, asking for permission. “Can I touch you, sweet girl?” He asked, you could tell he was practically praying for a yes. So of course, you gave him a soft nod. He looked up at you, the pretty little sinner in front of him. Oh, what a fucking sight.

[pinkyqil]

player: Esmee Brugts

Esmee comforts reader after the game because reader got into a confrontation with an opponent on the pitch during el clasico

Conflict // esme brugts

You were never the type to starts arguing with the ref or player's.Yes you've had your moments here and there which would be rare.

but today of all day anthea decided that you would be her target.

you knew it was apart of the job but at some point she kept pushing and fouling you around like some ragdoll and you've had enough and weren't going to be pushed around any longer than enough.

It was like your teammates could read your mind around half time alexia lucy and Irene came up to you.

after esme had told them something you couldn't hear sometimes you loved your girlfriend but when she does stuff you don't know about it really gets to you.

"Whatever plan is going on in your little head don't do it just ignore athena it not worth running el classico for yourself". alexia told you which the other's agreed.

"Fine".was all you could get out.

"Don't let her get to you kid you got a brick heart so let's keeping playing like that". Lucy added.

"Thanks guys I'll try". You told them.

After the little chit chat the game had resume and it seemed liked the real madrid coach had told athena something. cause right now all she's been doing was bitching around and talking smack whenever she got close to you.

You ignored her for half the time and tried focusing on the game that would be before. Right now you had the ball as ona passed it to you with a clean pass.

which you got has you were about to kick it in the goal you spotted athena coming your way you quickly dribbled the ball around her. and as you we're kicking it into the goal it got to athena who also seemed to be flying in with the ball and obviously into net along with your goal.

You didn't know to celebrate or just stand there trying to think about how on earth you mange to pull that.

You wanted to get her ass but definitely not like that.before you knew it athena was marching past you and started yelling at you.

you both got into a very heated argument which lead to both teams having to pull there player.

The ref was thankful on your side after giving seeing the bull shit athena has been pulling.she got subbed off and you we're finally being able to enjoy the final moments of el classico.

Once the team had finished celebrating on the pitch everyone made there way to the dressing room.

"Ay amiga the trick you pulled on athena was badass". patri told you

"I wasn't even planning on doing that".

"as if we all know how bad you wanted to get a go at her".

"Yeah but not like that".

"Patri just drop it she's clearly not in the mood". esme called putting an end to patri teasing she wasn't the type to always speak out as she had a very shy persona.

"lo siento, amiga". She apologized.

"No worries you told her". es you ready to go,you called out to her.

"Yeah let's go".she said grabbing you're hand.

"Bye guys".you both told your teammates before leaving.

"Thanks for your help out there and in the changing room". You told her as you both arrived at your destination.

"No worries there isn't anything I would do for my favorite girl and what patri was right earlier theway you knocked her into the net was badass babe". She told with a bright smile on her face.

"If you say so now let's forget about it and enjoy our dinner at the restaurant".

The rest of the night was filled with a lot of love from esme she made sure to give you extra massages and kisses which made you feel better.

A/n: hope the fic reached your standards,I'm always opened to you guys sending in a player prompt and location or any type of request in general and as always feedbacks and comments are appreciated enjoy reading and hope you have a spectacular day ! 🫶🏾

[scoonsalicious]

4.2 Major

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, mentions of Bucky's past.

Word Count: 1.5k

Previously On...: Bucky convinced Sam to lie to Lily for him if she asks where Bucky is tonight.

A/N: In the car, I just can't wait / To pick you up for our very first date!

Is it cool if I hold your hand? / Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

You were nervous. Why were you so nervous? This man had already had his mouth on your lady bits; there was no reason to be nervous about just having dinner with him, right? Yet your heart was racing as you waited for Bucky to come pick you up for your date. 

You must have checked your hair and reapplied your lip gloss a thousand times when the doorman buzzed to let you know you had a visitor. After telling him to send Bucky up, you glanced at the clock– he was exactly five minutes early, and you stifled a giggle at the thought of him pacing in front of your building until an appropriate time. 

Soon enough, there was a gentle knocking at your door, and with a last glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you opened the door.

You both stood there for a moment, taking the other in. Bucky looked positively resplendent in a black suit and burgundy button up– no tie, and the first few buttons left undone. The contrast with his eyes made them look even more blue than you remembered from this morning.

“Hi,” you breathed. “Uh, hey,” he said, seeming to come out of a trance. “You… you look fucking amazing.” You ducked your head to hide your blush– you’d put on an emerald green, A-line Chiffon cocktail dress with an asymmetrical skirt that hit just below your knees and a peekaboo cut in front– held together with beading– and a v-tieback. “Stole my breath for a minute there.”

“Thanks,” you murmured, feeling the blush creep up your cheeks.

“Oh, these are for you,” Bucky said, handing you a bouquet of white roses.

You held them to your face and inhaled. “They’re gorgeous, thank you,” you said, moving aside to invite him in. “You’re spoiling me, you know that, right? First the orchid, now the roses?”

You moved toward the kitchen to find a vase to put the flowers in. 

“Did you like the orchid?” Bucky asked, almost shyly, as though he was afraid he’d made a wrong move. You turned back to smile at him. “I loved it,” you told him honestly. “How did you even know orchids are my favorite?”

Bucky chuckled and nodded his head toward your living room wall, where you had three giant paintings of orchid flowers hanging over your sofa. “Just a lucky guess, I ‘spose.”

“You’re very perceptive, Mr. Barnes.” You put water in the vase, setting the flowers inside and placing them on the dividing wall between your kitchen and dining room. “There,” you said, stepping back to admire them. 

“You ready to go, doll?” Bucky asked, extending his arm to you. 

You took it gladly, slotting yourself next to him as though you were made to fit there. “I am,” you said.

Bucky had borrowed one of Tony Stark’s sports cars for the occasion, and you felt incredibly fancy as you drove through the streets of the city in it. You and Bucky made small talk on your way to the restaurant where Bucky had made a reservation for the two of you, and you found him so incredibly easy to talk to. You talked about the differences in the army between the ‘40s and now, and shared a few light war stories. By the time you reached the restaurant, he had you laughing so hard at a story he told about living with the Avengers that you thought your sides were going to burst.

You weren’t sure what kind of establishment you’d expected him to bring you to, and truthfully, you would have been thrilled with a regular old burger joint, if you were going there with him, but when you stepped out onto the rooftop terrace, you let out a gasp. The restaurant overlooked the Hudson, offering a dazzling view of the sunset over New Jersey. The tables were all tucked behind and around towering pieces of greenery– palms and ferns, and blossoming shrubs offering a screen of privacy for every group of diners. Overhead, cafe lights hung from pergolas, washing the area in a soft, warm light. It was heavenly.

Once Bucky gave his name and the hostess began escorting you to your table, he leaned in to whisper to you “What do you think?”

Your head was moving in every direction as you tried to take in every ounce of ambiance. “It’s gorgeous, Bucky,” you told him truthfully. “How did you find this place?”

“Pepper Potts recommended it,” he said. “She said it was the perfect spot for an intimate meal. Plus, they close for the winter, so if I wanted to take you, I’d better do it on one of our first dates.”

You tilted your head up to look at him, studying his face. “You’re planning multiple dates already?” you asked, a curl to your lips. 

“‘Course, doll,” Bucky said as you approached your designated table. “Gotta whole list of things I wanna do with you.”

You felt your face flush as he pulled your chair back for you before gently pushing you in. 

“So, what’s on this list?” you asked him once he’d sat himself down. 

“Nuh-uh,” he chided you. “They’ve gotta be surprises, at least until we get closer to ‘em.”

There was no way this man was real, you thought. No way you, of all people, could get lucky enough to catch his eye.

The waiter approached, asking if you would like wine for the table, and a panicked look flashed across Bucky’s face. You asked the waiter for a few more moments to decide.

“What is it?” you asked him.

“I have no fucking idea what wine to get!” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. “Fuck! I knew I should have asked Pepper!”

You reached across the table and put a comforting hand on top of his. “Hey, it’s okay,” you told him. “I actually don’t know shit about wine, myself.” Bucky gave you a skeptical look, but you nodded reassuringly. “How about we just get cocktails, instead?”

The smile Bucky gave you then was equal parts relief and gratitude. “Yeah,” he said, looking much happier. “I’ll get me some of that delicious girly shit.” He winked at you, and you laughed. 

The waiter returned shortly, and you both placed your orders. Once he left, you realized you needed to come clean about something.

You cleared your throat. “So, uh, I actually have to confess something to you,” you told him, fidgeting with the napkin you’d placed in your lap.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked, leaning forward, eyes sparkling in the soft light.

You closed your eyes, feeling horrible for what you were about to say. “I… I Googled you,” you told him. 

Realization dawned on Bucky’s face. “Oh,” he said, expression falling. “Yeah… uh,” he coughed into his hand. “That makes sense. So, you came to dinner to, what? Just let me down gently?”

Your mouth hung open in surprise. “What? No!” You reached over to grasp his hand again, this time interlocking your fingers with his own. “Look, the truth of it is, I told a couple of employees– my friends– about meeting you last night, and they brought up your trial.” Bucky visibly flinched at your words. “I admit, I knew nothing about it– it happened around the same time I was getting divorced, so I was kind of preoccupied for a while,” you said. “So, when my friends told me about the charges, I got… curious.”

You noticed Bucky was studiously looking down at his bread plate, not meeting your eye. “Hey,” you said, tugging gently on his hand. “Look at me.”

He slowly raised his eyes and you were struck with how… remorseful they looked. “The more I read,” you told him, “the more I realized the whole thing was a trumped up circus. Anyone with an ounce of empathy could see that you weren’t responsible for what you were made to do; that you were a victim. They just needed someone to blame, and you were a convenient scapegoat.”

“Doll,” Bucky said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, “you don’t understand. I–”

“No, Bucky, please,” you said to him. “I don’t want you thinking you have to disclose anything to me unless you want to and you’re ready. I just want you to know that I don’t hold those things against you. I don’t blame you, and I don’t think you should be blamed. I want you to know that none of it matters, not to me. I look at you, and I don’t see the man the media tried to paint you to be. I see someone sweet, who makes me laugh– someone I really want to get to know better. I just want you to know all that.”

Bucky’s eyes were wide as saucers as he took in your words. You were almost afraid you’d said something wrong, after he hadn’t spoken for nearly a full minute, but finally, he squeezed your hand. “Thank you,” he said, voice choked. “You… you don’t know what that means to me. I can’t tell you what that means to me– I don’t have the words. I just… thank you.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You're The Only One Who Gets Through To Me ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream

What you need is what I want So don't be afraid, let it show Don't be afraid, just let it explode We have got the power to build the highest tower Standing with our feet on the ground We've got what it takes, together we can make it Together we can blow the house down…

 -- “Blow The House Down,” Living In A Box (1989) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

Dinner was delicious. They all consciously kept the conversation light and fun.

Claire was particularly interested to hear Raymond’s impressions from walking around the property – about twenty acres in all, including woods and a pond. Jamie eagerly discussed the barn, now home to their vehicles (Jamie’s black 1965 Corvette, Jamie’s cherry red Dodge Charger, Jamie’s Harley-Davidson, and Claire’s powder blue Datsun that proved to be the perfect, practical go-to-town car) for the winter.

“I’m thinking of making it a proper home studio,” he said, scraping the remnants of chili from his bowl. “With a sound board and everything. Will give us more space in the house.”

“And it won’t be so loud,” Claire smiled, sipping her ice water, left hand entwined with Jamie’s under the table.

“It’s beneficial to have a little separation,” Raymond reflected. “When I started my private practice, I was given very good advice to rent an office space. There was a higher up-front cost, but patients certainly didn’t want to see me in my living room.”

“Speaking of which…”

Raymond immediately turned to face Claire. Encouraging.

Claire smiled softly, before continuing. “I want to get back to medicine – after we get back from Europe.” She paused. “My license transfer finally came through from Massachusetts a few weeks ago. I don’t want to open a private practice – it wouldn’t be fair to patients, if I’ll be on the road with Jamie, or here at home with children. But there’s a clinic in town where I can start picking up hours. I’ve already talked with them about it.”

“That would be wonderful, Claire.” Raymond’s smile was genuine. “And good to have that day-to-day interaction with patients again. You must not have had that too frequently in your last job.”

She shook her head. “By the end, my only direct interaction with patients was to consult their surgeries, before I would cut into them. I was very far removed from the daily grind. So incredibly different than at the very beginning right out of medical school.” She darted a smile at Jamie. “Though all those hours in the ER did come in handy on tour. I stitched and bandaged up quite a few wounds, splinted a few broken fingers. Jamie doesn’t understand when I say it, but I truly enjoyed doing that.”

“I just don’t get why she’d ever get excited at the sight of blood,” he smiled. “But it makes her happy.” He paused, and turned to look at her straight on. “It would make me happy, Claire, for you to spend more time at the clinic. Even now, in time we have left before it all gets crazy again. I…” He swallowed. “I want you to make something of your own, here in North Carolina. To get back to your roots.”

She beamed at him. He darted in for a quick kiss, feeling no hesitation in front of Raymond.

“Remind me when you’ll be in Los Angeles?”

“Two and a half weeks until we leave.” Jamie helped himself to another ladle of chili. “I’ve got three weeks of rehearsals – the band hasn’t played together since October. While we’re there, we’ll be meeting with the label, and maybe book a day or two in the studio. Probably a show or two, something small.”

“And then a week home here in April,” Claire added, “before flying to England to kick off the tour.”

“120 dates and counting.” Jamie sighed. “We’re booked two, three dates in most cities, though fortunately we’ve got at least a day in between cities to travel. We’re headlining all kinds of festivals. And then in August we have two weeks off – ”

“Three,” Claire chimed in.

“…and Claire and I are torn between coming back home, or going for a European vacation somewhere.”

“We don’t need to decide now,” she said softly. “Plus, if I’m pregnant by then…”

Jamie kissed her temple.

“I’ve been thinking about how we’ll work together on this tour.” Raymond pushed aside his empty bowl and pulled a small spiral notepad from the inside pocket of his blazer. He pushed back the cover, made a quick note with the pen tucked behind his ear, and looked across the table at Jamie and Claire.

“We’re open to whatever you suggest,” Claire said softly. “I hope you know that about us by now.”

“I do. I’ve been going back and forth between whether to do something in a structured way, especially given the logistical challenges and the travel. But I think that in order for both of you to get the support you need from me, we’ll need to aim for as much structure as possible.”

“I agree,” Jamie nodded, wrapping an arm around Claire’s shoulders. “Consistency will be key. Claire and I – this last tour, we tried to stick to the same schedule every day.”

“For show days, anyway,” she added.

Raymond flipped to a new page, pen poised. “And I assume that would be roughly the same, this tour?”

Claire nodded. “Wake up call at 830 or 9 AM. Wake up, love each other, order breakfast to the room, shower. Limo to the venue at 1130. Get to the venue, have lunch, band does soundcheck. That’s done by 2 PM. Then free time at the venue. Sometimes Colum meets with the band. Sometimes the band hangs out together, plays music – that’s where a lot of new songs come from. Sometimes I’ll spend time with Angus’ girlfriends, or reading in Jamie’s dressing room, or just being alone with Jamie and enjoying the quiet. All of us use that time to catch up on phone calls. I try to call Uncle Lamb and my friends Joe and Gail Abernathy a few times a week.”

“And to think that a year ago, she’d never been on the road like this,” Jamie smiled.

Claire blushed prettily. “Dinner usually at 6 or 630. Then the band gets dressed, sometimes does fan meet-and-greets or press interviews. The opening act starts at 8. About 45 minutes of the opener, and then it’s showtime.”

Jamie pushed back his empty bowl. “And after the gig, we do a quick band huddle to talk about the show. Sometimes with Colum and also our road manager. Claire and I are usually in the limo back to the hotel by midnight, if we’re not traveling. If we are, then sometimes we fly after the gig and sometimes it’s first thing in the morning.”

Raymond scribbled on the pad. “It’s good to have so much structure. Did you feel the same way?”

Jamie nodded. “Definitely. Claire?”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Especially when we’re in a new place every few days.”

“And when during the day would you have the panic attacks, Jamie?”

Jamie frowned. “After dinner. Sometimes during the free time in the afternoon.”

“One time in the hotel room, after we got back from the show,” Claire added gently. “And a few times in the morning, when we were waiting for the limo. Once, in the limo.”

“Do you see that with your other patients, Raymond?”

Raymond looked up from his notebook. “That panic attacks come at any time, without a particular pattern? Yes. Though especially with the combat vets, something in their environment acts as a trigger. Do you ever feel anxious to perform, Jamie?”

Jamie shook his head. “I fucking love it, Raymond. To play my music, with my band…to hear thousands of people singing the words I wrote, and so into the music and the whole experience we give them…there’s really nothing else like it. It’s a high, for sure. Better than any drug.”

Jamie squeezed Claire’s hand. “And the only feeling that’s better than when I’m on stage, is when I’m loving Claire.”

Raymond set down his pen, and flipped back a few pages in his notebook. “So it’s not triggered by the performance itself. And I assume you don’t get anxious or claustrophobic on buses or airplanes?”

“Nope. I’ve never had a problem with that.”

“And were your days so consistent before? When you were using?”

“Yes and no. The broad strokes of it, yes – though add ‘whiskey’ and ‘coke’ and ‘girls’ to any of the time I had to myself.” He paused, thinking. “After the show most nights, I wouldn’t go back to the hotel right away. I’d celebrate with the roadies and some girls, usually hit up a strip club, not make it back to my hotel until dawn. Obviously I don’t do that anymore.”

“You’re just an old man who likes being tucked up in bed with his lawfully wedded wife,” Claire teased.

“You know it,” Jamie smiled.

Raymond scribbled on a fresh sheet in his notebook. Absently running his hand through his hair. Clearly thinking.

“All right,” he said, after a while. “Before I walk you through my plan – I need to ask you something. Both of you.”

To be continued…

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 7

Previous chapter | Next chapter (coming out on Friday)

Masterlist

"Girls, can you please hurry up? It's the last day of the year and we are gonna be late!" Mason's dad said.

"It's always the same with them" Adele's dad sighed.

"Dinner has already started, we are gonna miss all the good stuff!"

"We are here, stop complaining" Toni said, walking into the room.

"Holy shit" her husband whispered when he saw her. "Forget about everything I just said. The wait was worth it."

"Thank you" she smiled.

"What about me? Don't I look good?" Elizabeth said, doing a twirl in front of her husband.

"The most gorgeous woman ever" he replied.

"And Adele? Where is she?" Mason asked. 

"Here" she said, joining the others. "I had to go back to change my shoes. I told them I can't walk in heels, but they don't listen."

"You can, you just don't want to" her mum said.

"Whatever."

"Mason... Mase, hey" Luca said, elbowing him in the ribs. "Are you checking out my sister?"

"What?" he replied, his eyes still on her while she argued with her mum.

"Bro, you definitely are checking out Adele."

"No, I'm not."

"You are blushing" Alex pointed out.

"I'm not blushing or checking out Adele, shut up. Both of you" he said, walking away from them and joining his parents. But he was doing both things, and especially checking out Adele. She looked stunning that night, it was impossible not to look at her. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Three, two, one... Happy new year!" everyone in the room screamed.

"Happy new year, guys!" Adele said, raising her flute.

"Happy new year!" Luca, Mason and Alex replied before drinking.

"I think I'm gonna need a refill. This champagne is so good."

"Careful there, Addie. Remember what happened the last time you drank too much champagne?" Mason teased her.

"You ended up singing “wannabe” by the Spice Girls in front of everyone" Alex laughed.

"Oh dear, I had forgotten about that" she chuckled.

"Ok, enough talking about my sister. It's time for our new year kisses" Luca said.

"Our what?" she laughed.

"Luca and I always share a kiss to start the new year. It brings good luck" Alex explained. 

"You do what?" Mason said, almost choking with his drink.

"This" he said, cupping Luca's face and kissing him.

"Oh my god" Adele gasped.

"Now it's your turn."

"Hell no" she said.

"We could do with some good luck, tho" Mason said.

"And it will be just a peck" Alex shrugged.

"I said no."

"C'mon, Addie. It's just a peck! Scared you may like it and not be able to stop?" Luca teased her.

"Ha ha ha" she replied, rolling her eyes.

"One kiss, Adele."

"Nope."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" Luca started chanting.

"Shh! Someone could hear you!" Adele said, hitting her brother.

"Ouch, that hurt! But Addie, they are too busy drinking, dancing and also kissing. No one will be looking at you."

"He's not gonna stop until we do it" Mason said.

"He won't, no" Adele sighed.

"Then?"

"Ok, fine. But just a peck."

"Just a peck" Mason smiled. "Ready?"

"I guess" she said. But she wasn't ready. At all.

Suddenly, Mason was too close to her, his hands cupping her face. And then... Then he was kissing her, and it definitely wasn't a peck. It was a proper kiss, one that made her feel goosebumps all over her body. 

"See? It wasn't that difficult" Mason said against her lips. 

"Yeah" she whispered. 

"You can let go now, guys" Luca laughed. "Though if you want to keep kissing for the rest of the night, you know we won't oppose to it."

"Shut up" Adele said, taking a step back and finally snapping out of whatever had just happened between her and Mason. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Happy new year, Addie."

"Happy new year, Mase" she yawned when they met in the hallway.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Ugh, like a baby. I'm gonna miss that bed when we go back home."

"You can always ask where it is from."

"I actually could, yes" she laughed. "Happy new year, everyone."

"Happy new year" hers and Mason's parents said when they joined them for breakfast.

"Why are you looking at us as if we have grown another head?" Mason chuckled.

"Guys, did you... Did you sleep together?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?" they both said at the same time.

"Well, you just walked in together laughing and smiling. And after what happened last night..." Toni said.

"Last night? What do you mean, mum?" Mason asked.

"I think they are talking about this" Alex said behind him, showing him his phone.

"Mason Mount and Adele Turlington caught sharing a new year kiss." 

"You gotta be kidding me" Adele said. "How did they manage to get that photo?"

"Looks like someone recognised you and followed you around. There are more pics from last night."

"Guys... You know you can tell us anything, right?" Elizabeth said. "You can trust us."

"There is nothing to tell, mum. We weren't kissing."

"Weren't you?" her dad chuckled.

"I mean, yes but no. It was just a joke, one of Luca's stupid ideas."

"We always share a kiss to welcome the new year because they say it brings good luck, and we asked them to do the same" Alex explained. "It wasn't anything serious."

"The press have taken it out of context like they do with everything. It didn't mean anything, right Mase?" Adele said, looking at him. 

"What?" he asked. 

"The kiss from last night. It didn't mean anything, it was just a joke."

"Yeah, yeah" he muttered.

"Mason, love… Are you ok?" Toni asked him.

"Yeah, yeah" he repeated. "Just hungry."

"You sure?"

"Yes" he smiled. Though his mum knew that it wasn't an honest smile. Her, and Adele. Something was definitely going on with him. 

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Could you do one with 4,31, and 38

Context: Adam, Lucifer and the rest of the gang are having dinner and someone (maybe alastor) puts angelic poison in Adams tea in an attempt to kill him. Lucifer is quick to “accidentally” knock it over before Adam could drink it, leading it to spill on adam.

(Bonus if Lucifer has a stern talk with alastor, all protective style)

-🐊

4. “When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”

31. “You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” 

38. “Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” 

Oh ho ho!! I love me some protective Lucifer and Alastor being an antagonizing little shit >:)

Charlie had prepared a beautiful meal for everyone at the hotel. She made a roast with all the veggies you could eat.

Adam was waiting on water to boil so he could have tea with his dinner. "Come on and eat Adam, it'll get cold before the kettle is ready." Lucifer said as he walked with his own plate.

Adam looked between him and the food and yeah, he didn't want to eat cold fucking food. He grabbed his dinner and sat down beside Lucifer and Angel. After a while if eating and talking, Adam remembered his tea. "Shit, my tea."

"No worries, I made some for myself as well. Here you go." Alastor handed Adam a mug of green tea, his smile anything but innocent.

Adam looked at him questioningly. "Um, thanks I guess?" Since when did this Bambi freak go out of his way for Adam?

"Oh don't thank me. Just drink up before it's cold." Like your corpse will be, Alastor thought sinisterly. He hoped he used enough angelic poison.

Adam couldn't feel any heat coming from the mug, he stuck his finger in it and frowned. "It's already cold asshole." He sucked the tea off his finger and grimaced. Did he put fucking sugar in it? Cause it was super sweet.

Lucifer got to looking at Adams tea, his eyes shifted to Alastor who was just waiting for the fallen angel to drink it. When he looked back he saw it.

It would be nearly impossible to see, but the way the light hit his tea Lucifer saw the golden shine that sat on top of the liquid. Angelic poison.

Lucifer's eyes widened in horror as Adam lifted the mug to his lips. "Don't!" He slapped the mug out of Adams hand, making the tea spill all over Adam.

"AHH! What the fuck!?" Adam jolted up and glared, the cold liquid soaking into his clothes.

"Dad!"

"Look, I'm sorry but there was posion in your fucking tea!" Lucifer said as he handed Adam a napkin.

Adam snatched the napkin and tried in vain to clean himself up. "Poison, the fuck are you...." He suddenly felt dizzy, the room started to spin. Adam sat back down and held his head in his hands. If there was poison in his tea, he licked his finger which meant....

"Don't feel well?" Alastor mocked, he may have only gotten a drop but it could be enough to make him terminally ill.

"Fuck off." Lucifer hissed as he put his arms around Adam. "I gotta take him to the fucking hospital. Come on ba- buddy." Lucifer corrected himself. When Adam only groaned and didn't move, he cursed and picked the sinner up in his arms and ran through a portal to the hospital.

Adam didn't know how long he was out, but when he came to he was in a hospital bed with all the tubes anyone could possibly have sticking out of him. "For fuck sakes."

"Thank fuck you're awake." Lucifer sighed in relief from his seat beside Adam's bed. "The doctors weren't sure when you'd wake up."

"Don't you mean 'if' I wake up? Angelic poison is no fucking joke. One big gulp and my insides would have fucking melted and poured out of all my holes." Adam ranted, yeah okay maybe not that bad but still!

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.”

Adam scoffed and folded his arms. “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” Adam shifted to look away from Lucifer, Woah what medicine were they giving him everything felt funny, like he was kinda high.

"I'm not leaving you alone Adam, you could have died."

"I realize that. Thank you for not letting me die a horrible death." Adam still didn't look at him.

"It would have been a permanent death!"

"Like you care!" Adam finally looked at Lucifer, eyes a blaze.

This took Lucifer aback. "If I didn't fucking care I wouldn't have brought you here, asshole! I fucking love you!"

Adam bit his lip to keep it from quivering. "No you don't...."

"Adam-"

“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” Adam spat as he held tears back. "You never fucking loved me, hell you barely even like me." Hate fucking wasn't love.

"Adam." Lucifer took his hand in his. "I've always loved you."

"Yeah right."

“When did you fall out of love with me?” Lucifer asked, fearing the answer.

Adam looked away, eyes wet. “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”

"That's not true! I never stopped loving you. Adam," Lucifer used his other hand to cup Adam's face and make him look at him. "I've always loved you. I'm sorry I made you feel any different." They placed their foreheads together looking into each other's eyes. "Let me prove it."

Adam searched his eyes for any trace of a lie. "Fine, but this is the last time I will ever trust you with feelings like this." He melted when Lucifer kissed him softly.

"I promise to protect you and your heart."

-

"Alastor!" Lucifer stomped over to the deer demon. The hospital wanted to keep Adam overnight just to make sure he was okay.

"Lucifer, what do I owe the-" Alastor was shoved into the wall behind him.

"You've got some fucking nerve trying to posion him like that." He growled, his eyes going wholly red.

"He's fine isn't he? What's the matter, worried your boy toy wouldn't make it?" Alastor winced when a hand wrapped around his neck.

Lucifer let his full demon form come out. "Listen here you Bambi reject, radio fucker. You so much as even LOOK at Adam wrong from now on and I'll make you drink a whole fucking bottle of angelic poison. Nobody, and I fucking mean NOBODY fucks with the people I love."

Alastor winced in pain but his smile widened. "You love him, huh?"

"Yeah I do. He's the love of my life and no one will come between us again. Stay away from him." Lucifer dropped Alastor and walked away.

Alastor held his throat and smirked. Interesting, very interesting.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

The important date [R. L]

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

word count: 5.1k

an: I was very excited to write this. I'm latina and Kuku completely won my heart and I think he's absolutely like a young remus. If you want to read more of this you can tell me and I would be very happy to see a comment or reblog. Kisses!

People who might be interested: @fairysluna @madame-fear @luceracastro @luv4fati

You were quite nervous when you knocked on the door of the modest apartment whose address was written on the folded paper inside your pocket.

You had tried to look your best before leaving the house, but the wind on the way had messed up your appearance slightly and while you waited for a response you ran your hands through your clothes, trying to fix the damage.

After a few seconds no one came out and as you knocked a second time the fear of having gone to the wrong place settled in you. You were startled when the door finally opened and a boy appeared, about your height, with long black hair and whose bare chest was covered in tattoos.

“You aren’t my pizza.”

“Uh, sorry. “I probably went to the wrong house” you exclaimed sadly.

“I don't know if you were wrong, but you can come in if you want,” the boy said, smiling mischievously at you while winking at you and leaning against the door frame.

“You weren't wrong! I'll be there in a moment” a voice spoke from inside. He sounded agitated, but you still recognized him.

The stranger looked at the apartment in disbelief and then looked at you from head to toe, as if he was analyzing the situation.

“Are you coming with Remus?” You nodded. “Okay, so I… Excuse me?”

Without waiting for your response, he half closed the door and then you lost sight of him, leaving you just as confused as at the beginning.

Sirius, oblivious to your sight and hearing, practically stumbled down the hall until he reached Remus' room. He was trying to comb his hair at the same time as the toothbrush rested in his mouth.

“Do you want to explain to me why there is a pretty young lady waiting for you out there?”

“She's my college classmate,” he said in a half-understandable way.

The place was so tiny and there were so many books everywhere that he almost fell when he went to spit the toothpaste into the sink, trying to hurry as much as possible.

The apartment was always messy, in general, but the one who made the least mess was Remus. His only problem was the ridiculous amount of sweaters, boots, and pieces of literature he bought at second-hand places, which had slowly managed to plague his piece of space.

“Are you wearing that expensive cologne you bought last time?” mocked James, who had been in the living room but thought it appropriate to join the conversation. “And you're combing your hair.”

“Is she the one you stay with to study so often?” Sirius insisted, his brain spinning events.

"Yes, sometimes"

“And why did she come here?”

“Because I invited her to dinner.”

"Here?!"

“No, in a restaurant”

Both James and Sirius were slightly taken aback, as there had been no mention of you in any previous talk and it wasn't very common for Remus to do that kind of thing.

“And why didn't you go to her house for her?”

“She said it was on the way,” he responded breathlessly. He was still struggling with putting on his shoes.

“Bad there, Moony. You should be a gentleman and go pick her up at her house instead of keeping her waiting.”

“I would have done it if it hadn't been for the fact that you two idiots forgot to pay the rent that is due today. I had to pass a while ago and the time was barely enough for me”

“Didn't you pay, James?”

“I thought it was your turn!”

“Anyway, that doesn't matter anymore.” Remus got up to search his dressing table for a few golden rings “It's late and I have to go.”

“You can't leave us like this! What's her name? Have you kissed her?”

"He is right. Come on, introduce us to your girlfriend.”

“She's not my girlfriend yet,” he exclaimed, taking a last look in the mirror. He looked good, to have done it so hastily “But I plan for her to be today.”

The jaws of both listeners almost dropped to the floor at that statement and if they were already curious about the stranger's appearance, that had only increased their interest.

“I'm leaving, don't wait up for me.”

"Wait!"

“Bye,” he said, hurrying down the hallway toward the exit.

Sirius and James immediately followed him, but before they could ask anything he had already opened the door.

“Remus.”

"Hi, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the delay,” he apologized benevolently, as he leaned down to kiss your cheek in greeting.

The two curious people managed to see this exchange and then Remus closed the door, but not before giving them a warning look that was responded to with an expression of astonishment and another of pride at what they had just seen.

“How well he kept it, right?”

“Why do you think he didn't want to introduce us?”

“Possibly because you are in pajamas, I flirted with her, and because there are pigs that live in better conditions than us.”

“But he still could have told us something. We are your friends.”

“Give him his space. Maybe it's a nice thing he wants to keep for himself."

“That's why he's been so happy lately,” James reflected.

“Yes, it is likely.”

A knock was heard on the door and the two began to fumble with each other to open it first, eager to be able to see even a moment more of their friend's woman.

But it wasn't them, it was a thin boy dressed in uniform.

“Good evening, Sirius Black?”

“Yes, it's me,” he responded disappointed, taking a bill out of his pocket and receiving the pizza box in his hands while James returned to lie down on the couch.

By this point you and Remus had already left the building. During the way he offered you the full explanation for his lateness, trying so not to get angry with him.

“It's okay, I didn't wait too long,” you reassured him. “I guess those are your roommates.”

“Sirius is the one with the tattoos and James is the one with the glasses.”

“They seem nice”

“They are a little weird, but when you meet them you like them”

With one deft movement Remus placed you on the inside of the sidewalk and both of you took a moment to observe each other. You were wearing a tight white long-sleeved blouse, underneath a strapless dress with a floral print, and you were wearing your comfortable brown leather boots. He, looking completely elegant, in a beige trench coat over a light blue formal shirt and a kind of scarf with lines that combined both colors. For a few months he had been growing his facial hair, which made him look older, but in a good way.

"Where will we go?"

“There is a restaurant a few blocks from here. He looks calm and I thought you might like it. James orders food delivered sometimes and it tastes good.”

“Good” you smiled. You trusted your friend's good judgment in choosing a place.

The truth was that the beginning of your friendship was somewhat curious and you would have to go back a while to understand it.

A few years ago, Remus had his doubts when Sirius and James encouraged him to enter a Muggle university. They had decided after graduating from Hogwarts and moving to the apartment they shared in search of independence and adventure, but the brunette still didn’t have a clear picture of what he wanted for his life. 

Furthermore, he didn’t have as many financial resources as his friends to live comfortably and study at the same time. He allowed himself a year of work to raise money, even without knowing if he would use it for an education or something else, and since in that time he saw that they were both comfortable in what they had chosen, he decided that he could give the Muggles a chance. Although he had some administrative problems, since Hogwarts wasn’t a validated school for those cases, after sending a letter to Albus Dumbledore to ask for help, everything was solved and he was able to enter the philosophy faculty in a modest institution.

Before you, Remus didn't have many friends. He was able to start a conversation with his classmates and function in the classroom, however, he almost always spent his time in his books or at home. Sirius invited him to art school parties but when he attended, beyond drinking and making sure his friends didn't do anything stupid, he didn't do much.

His life had been quiet until you met him a few years later. The link that brought you together was that you had enrolled in an elective sociology class at the university and it turned out that Remus had chosen the same one. Despite being quiet, the boy quickly gained your attention due to the scars on his face and arms, which you still hadn't dared to ask about and he hadn't talked about.

Although you were curious, you tried not to observe him too much so as not to make him uncomfortable, but when he had to present a topic or answer questions it was inevitable to focus all your attention on him.

Remus didn't even notice your interest in him until, as fate would have it, the professor assigned pairs for a project and you were his lucky partner.

During the first meetings he felt out of place and even a little uncomfortable, since he wasn’t so used to spending time with other people outside his circle or studying in company. But he soon began to enjoy working with you and eventually recognized that you were an excellent teammate. You almost always spent it in the library because the atmosphere was calmer, although sometimes you would look for a lonely meadow on campus to lie down and continue moving forward. On one of those occasions you discovered that the boy carried chocolate all the time, because he shared it with you to lighten the hours, and it had become a habit to bring something to eat.

The weeks passed and when you presented the product you obtained the highest grade as well as congratulations from your teacher, with which Remus felt more than satisfied. He thought that once what you had in common was over, you wouldn't want to continue frequenting him, but he was surprised when you started looking for him to have breakfast together and he, to reciprocate, accompanied you some afternoons when you stayed in the library to study or walked with you to the bus stop.

You soon discovered that he was, in addition to being intelligent, kind and that he had many qualities that you liked. Likewise, he saw another set of attributes in you that made him feel the same.

As the weeks passed, you began to get along well and by the middle of the course you could already tell that you were friends. Less than a month after finishing it, you had already fallen in love.

“How is your hand?” Remus asked in the middle of a silence, when you had already gone quite a few blocks.

You had cut yourself by accident a few days ago and when he saw the wound he was quite worried, because it didn't look pretty at all.

“Better, it almost doesn't hurt anymore and the antiseptic helps a lot”

As you said that you raised your palm covered with a big band-aid, as if trying to show him that it was true, and he took the opportunity to capture it with his. Remus had a lot of experience with wounds and wished he could heal them with magic, however, he knew it was forbidden.

"It is good to hear"

He searched you for some sign that you didn't want him to hold your hand but, beyond your flushed cheeks, he found nothing.

You continued walking and talking about some other things until the boy stopped at a picturesque place. A couple of people could be seen through the large glass windows, illuminated by the warm light from inside.

Your hand missed his warmth when he let you go to open the door for you and then you followed him to a free table, with a view of the outside but private enough. All around paintings were decorating and some plants too.

You expected Remus to choose the seat in front of you but he decided that the one next to you was better, with your knees touching under the red table.

“Good evening, welcome,” a young girl, who couldn't be older than your age, greeted you. She was a beautiful redhead and her metal badge said Lily.

After she left a couple of menus, she asked you if you wanted any starters or something to drink, to which you denied.

“I thought we were going to a cafe or something.”

"You don’t like here?” 

“On the contrary, it is too cute. If I had known, I could have worn something better.”

"What are you talking about? You look beautiful,” Remus said, without thinking, and you laughed sheepishly.

“You're not far behind,” your hand went to his neck, where you adjusted a fold “You look like a professor.”

"Is that good or bad?"

“I like the professors. I mean, their style” you stuttered. “They look elegant.”

Although you had never spoken openly about what you felt, both of you had the suspicion that the other person felt the same way. Those moments of indiscreet flirting were signs of this, in addition to the multiple daily actions that showed interest and affection for the other.

Still, Remus felt insecure about himself. The physical marks on him were only the most superficial, since he was too afraid that if he confessed to you about his lycanthropy you would end up being scared or simply believing him crazy. He couldn't talk to you about the magical world and that made it even more complicated.

He didn't have much experience with girls in the romantic sense, but he liked to think that he wasn't doing too badly with you. He really liked you, so he wanted to try as hard as possible to win your heart and hoped that he would be worthy of your affection even despite his various flaws.

When the waitress returned you ordered a glass of wine and Remus simply ordered tea, wanting to be as calm as possible to talk to you. The last thing he wanted was for his statement to be ruined by alcohol.

The moments with him weren't awkward but, honestly, the atmosphere demanded a certain composure and it wasn't until after a while that you started chatting like you always did. You talked about final exams and products to be delivered soon, discussing the topics and making some suggestions that could be useful.

When the girl returned Remus ordered a stew for dinner and you ordered some meat pie which soon arrived. You ate it with pleasure, keeping the conversation when it was appropriate.

“Have you thought about what you will do during the holidays?”

“Probably visit my parents. And if not that, maybe enter a summer seminar”

"Study more?" the brunette laughed.

"It's a possibility. I think it would be too boring if I don't. And you?"

"I don’t know yet. Maybe look for a job, or…”

“Let's take a seminar together,” you murmured excitedly. However, you later added: “I mean, if you want.”

“I might consider it,” he murmured with a tight-lipped smile “So we could spend more time together.”

“It's strange, you know? This semester I have felt so happy studying with you. I didn't think college would be so interesting until I found you in that class."

Remus's heart began to rumble in his chest when he heard you say that and it was inevitable to smile. You liked to see him smile.

“Did I ever tell you I wasn’t sure about going in?”

“To sociology class?”

"To the University"

"Oh really?"

“I thought I could have dedicated myself to something else. In Hog... High School I was a good student and I thought it would be enough to get a job. But James and Sirius entered a college and then I thought I'd do it too."

“Remind me to thank them later,” you joked. If they had not convinced him, you probably would never have met “Will you ever introduce them to me?”

“Do you want to meet them?”

“They are your friends after all, right? But only if you feel comfortable, I wouldn't want to…”

“Okay, that would be great. I just feel a little embarrassed sometimes."

"From me?"

"No! From them. No, don't even think about it from you” he hastened to say and both of you laughed “It's about them. Sometimes they act like idiots, like Sirius did a while ago."

“I thought I was just imagining it, but he's kind of… flirtatious, right?”

"Quite a bit, I would say. I would like it to be limited to girls, but I don't think anyone is safe" he laughed. "But don't worry, he won't bother you anymore now that he knows that you...”

Remus fell silent as he realized what he was about to say and you noticed the sudden interruption.

"That?"

“That you are my friend”

To be honest, the answer disappointed you a little. You had been waiting for any kind of sign or proposal for a while and you thought that statement might have been in the answer. And although Remus already had those plans in mind, you clearly weren't aware of it.

There was silence for a moment as the two of you reflected on the conversation, for different reasons, and you tried to make it less awkward by eating some of your dinner.

“It’s raining,” you said after a while, eager to change the subject “I forgot my umbrella at home”

“We'll figure it out, don't worry,” he said happily, oblivious to the feeling he had provoked in you. You had practically finished your dinner when he asked, “Do you want dessert?”

You nodded at that and ordered a delicious red velvet cake and he, as expected, a chocolate one. After this you tried to talk about something else, convincing yourself that you were thinking about nonsense instead of enjoying the moment with your friend. With the boy you liked. 

At some point he excused himself to go to the bathroom and you were left alone at the table, playing with what was left of food on your plate. You looked around as if expecting to see something interesting, but all you saw was the rain falling outside and a pair of people sitting a few tables away from you. They looked happy and from the way they looked at each other you assumed they were a couple. As you watched them you wondered if that was what people thought when they saw you with Remus, because the way they interacted was the way you did; Is that what other students would say when you spent hours in the library, talking quietly and barely distanced from each other? Did anyone think you were a couple when they saw you laughing lying on the grass at dusk?

You considered the possibility of being the first to confess what you felt and wondered if it would be better to wait. Remus called you sweet names all the time and in the last few weeks he had started to become more physically affectionate; he greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, he held your hand from time to time, he even sheltered you in his arms that time you had a terrible morning and all you wanted to do was cry. But did that mean something else or was it just the courtesy of a good friend?

You wanted to continue reflecting on it, but your musings were interrupted by the waitress's voice calling your attention.

"Miss?"

"Yeah?"

"This is for you"

She held a beautiful bouquet of pink carnations with clouds surrounding it, wrapped in white fabric and topped with a ribbon. The sight unsettled you, but out of inertia you extended your hands to hold the gift. It was heavy and gave off a mild smell.

"W-What is this? Who sends it?" 

“The gentleman over there,” she pointed out happily.

For a second you felt nothing but confusion. Had someone been stalking you? You didn't remember anyone you knew when you walked in and receiving flowers from a stranger was ridiculous, because the most you could have imagined was that they would buy you a drink. But when you turned and saw that it was Remus who was smiling shyly at you, you understood what it was about.

“Oh my God…” you whispered barely audible, your cheeks turning red “Thank you, you’re so kind.”

“To serve you” she exclaimed, probably happy to have been a participant in that demonstration of love, and then she withdrew.

Trying to calm yourself down, you turned around to talk to the boy, who was still sitting on the stool in front of the bar. You spent a few seconds looking at each other, him slightly uneasy and you feeling completely blushing.

“Are you not going to accompany me? I have some cake that the boy I was with left”

“You'd have to be a fool to abandon a girl like you,” he muttered on the way to the table. He sat on the opposite side to where he was initially, as if he wanted to maintain the fantasy of being someone else who accompanied you. “Did you like them?”

“They are beautiful, you wouldn't have bothered”

“They have something there” he pointed out and in his eyes you could see some nervousness. You took a paper envelope between your fingers from which you took out a small note.

A modest gift for the most beautiful and interesting girl I have ever met. I feel like you brought color to my life and every day I am happy that you found me, wondering what I did to deserve the grace of such a wonderful human being.

It's been a while since my heart has been uneasy about your feelings towards me and at the same time certain about how it feels about you.

I'm sorry if I'm not that good with words, or that good in general. I just hope I'm enough to win your affection and be lucky enough for you to say yes.

Sincerely, Remus.

The boy watched you with a mixture of anxiety and concern as you read the words, waiting for what your reaction might be. You read the entire note twice, just to be sure it meant what you thought, and then you looked at him.

In your eyes, he had never looked more handsome.

“Say yes?” was the only thing you managed to say. It was the part that intrigued you the most about the note.

“To the question I want to ask you, of course” 

“You're not going to ask me to marry you, are you?” you tried to joke, feeling your heart race with anticipation.

"Not yet. But we can start as girlfriend and boyfriend, what do you say?”

Remus was a very curious guy. He was shy and quiet at times, but when an idea got into his head no force could convince him otherwise: he was determined. And he was sure what he wanted with you.

One of your hands went up to his cheek and your thumb caressed one of his scars, one that went down to touch his lips, feeling free to be able to observe him more closely now that you knew you could do so.

"This bothers you?" you asked sincerely.

"What?"

“That I am touching you like this. Your scars”

"I don't mind. I've gotten used to them."

“That was the first thing I noticed about you.”

“Do you think they are ugly?”

“I think they make you look sexy,” you said honestly again and he let out a laugh that was somewhere between nervous and amused. “They make you stand out.”

You were so close to him that he had to lean just a little to kiss you.

“I don't think anyone has ever said that about them.”

“I really like you, Rem. That's why. And I would like to pretend that I need to think about it more, but I know I would be very happy with you. I already am, but... I want to be with you"

“Is it a yes, then?”

“But first I need to do something” you explained and with the help of your hand, without giving him time for anything, you brought him closer to steal a kiss.

Remus gasped in surprise, but put up no resistance and delighted in feeling the taste of your lips mixing with the chocolate he had previously eaten. You were kind and careful with him, who tried to reciprocate as best as possible. 

When you separated from him, your cheeks were red and your eyes were bright.

“It's a yes”

“Did you need to kiss me to decide?”

“I had already decided, I just wanted an excuse.”

And then Remus laughed again. Unable to contain his excitement, he approached you until he hid his face in your neck, trying to drown out his blush, and you felt tickled by his hair rubbing against your skin. Now the closeness of that way between you was correct, no one could say anything and you had the right to do so.

“I was so afraid you would say no.”

“Have you seen how I look at you?” you murmured in his ear “To be so intelligent you miss a lot of things.”

His breathing told you that he was laughing and then you were silent for a moment. Your hand slowly caressed his side while you traced patterns on his back, although he probably didn't feel them because of the layers of clothing he was wearing. Through it all, you thought about how nice the boy's warmth felt against you. Like it felt meant to be.

“We should go,” he said, when he finally left his room and looked at the time on the wall clock. Closing time was almost approaching. “Is it okay if I call a taxi to take you home?”

“Yeah.”

“I'll go pay the bill and be right back, okay?”

“Let me give you some money…”

"No way. No,” he stated firmly. He got up from his seat and, by the way, now he stole a kiss from you “Wait here.”

You did it obediently and while you did it you took the opportunity to observe and caress your bouquet. They were beautiful and you wondered how Remus had planned the delivery. It hadn't been something spontaneous, he already knew the purpose of the date from the beginning and that only made you feel more like a girl in love.

He showed up a few minutes later and, after thanking your red-headed cupid profusely, you waited for your taxi at a table near the exit. When it arrived you practically had to run to avoid the rain, but that didn't matter to you because while you were doing it the brunette held your hand to prevent any accident.

The elderly driver started the engine after you told him your address and silence reigned for a moment, with only the barely audible music from the radio.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” you asked, after a few blocks. No one lived with you and it seemed cruel to you to send Remus back to his apartment.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“There is enough space. And you must be tired”

You weren't trying to make a sexual innuendo in your words. You just wanted to make the moment last as long as possible.

Remus agreed without much resistance and upon arriving at your apartment, which fortunately was in order, he was respectful by telling you that he could sleep on the couch if you wanted. He seemed so decent to you that you accepted his proposal, taking charge of bringing him enough blankets and pillows to make him comfortable.

He had already taken off his shoes and jacket when you sat down next to him to wish him goodnight. You didn't think he would look much more handsome unkempt and with disheveled hair than he did at first.

"Thanks for the invitation"

“It's the least I could do after everything today,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

“Was it a good date?”

“It was a great date” you exclaimed honestly and for the third time that night you approached him to kiss him.

This time you took the time to savor the contact, prolonging it as much as possible and causing a spark to settle between you. Remus quickly learned that your lips were soft and definitely more expert than his, with all of that making him feel a little dizzy. You reveled in the feeling of his large hands holding your waist, not knowing where else it was correct to place them. If you could have, you would have kissed him all night, but you separated only because you knew that the desire existed in you and him, afraid that if you followed your prudence wouldn’t be enough to stop you from making love to him on that sofa.

He looked completely enthralled with you as you watched him and you knew you most likely had the same expression. After all, so many months of longing between you were summed up in the pleasure of that physical contact that you were discovering.

“Go to sleep, pretty,” he suggested “I'll be here in the morning.”

“Good night, Remus. If you need anything, go to my room, okay?”

A part of you wanted him to look for you in the middle of the night, but you knew that both of you were hesitant to make any moves to go to such extremes. The boy just nodded and then, still not convinced, you headed towards your room so you could sleep.

That night Remus dreamed of you and you dreamed of him, with the sound of the rain lulling you, only a few meters away between you, and a beautiful bouquet resting on your nightstand.

You didn't know if that was happiness, but at least that's what it felt like.

[steveharrington]

can you elaborate on how fanon nancy is different from canon nancy?

yes <3 when i made that post i was mostly referring to how often i see people seeming to write nancy as like the voice of reason within the group or even the one who provides comfort and stability to others and i just personally don’t think that fits her at all. i think that dilutes what makes nancy so interesting, honestly!! 1. she is not very reasonable and 2. she has trouble expressing herself in a way that other people understand.

1. nancy’s defining character trait imo is her passion. in seasons 1 and 2 she literally v physically cannot accept just allowing barb’s death to be uninvestigated and subsequently covered up, even when steve tries to reason that going along with the cover up is the safest option that ensures no one gets hurt. nancy still can’t allow that to happen and moves forward with her plan to bring barb’s death to light despite it being dangerous and potentially hopeless because she’s acting on her instincts and her love for barb, not on the safest option. in season 3, again, jonathan tries to reason with her and persuade her not to investigate the rats any further for fear of losing their jobs, but in nancy’s mind it’s worth the risk. now im not saying nancy is dumb, because shes canonically extremely smart and even when she does take risks, they’re calculated and planned. but it kinda grinds my gears when people depict her as this levelheaded by-the-books kind of person when she has demonstrated multiple times that she will simply do whatever the fuck she wants, if she feels it’s justified

2. this one moreso, i feel like nancy has fallen victim to that trend of having characters talk like they’re 10 years into therapy. i see this a lot in ship-related content for her, whether it’s jancy or ronance or stoncy, etc. people will often have her make these declarations of love very outright and talk through whatever issues she’s having with someone, which is so….. she doesn’t do that 😭 she historically struggles to bridge the gap between someone else’s position and her own, and it clearly frustrates her. case in point, she isn’t honest with steve until she’s drunk! then afterwards she still struggles to communicate, to the point that in the alleyway scene steve just fully walks away after she fails to respond at all to his questions. with jonathan she’s the same way—their big car argument is clearly frustrating to her and ends with her simply saying “you don’t know what it’s like” after jonathan gives a multi-point argument explaining his point of view. even at the very end of s4, the most recent scene we have of her, there’s so much that isn’t being said between her and jonathan. they’re not being forthcoming with each other. even with robin, she can’t express why robin’s presence is clearly bothering her in s4, even after robin openly gives her the chance to be honest and says “please tell me if im coming off badly”. there’s an enduring lack of communication in nancy’s relationships, and that makes total sense because she doesn’t have a good example of a healthy relationship in her own home. her parents just leave the dinner table when they’re upset with each other. so it blows my mind seeing depictions of her where she’s like “guys our feelings are all valid <3” like she would nottttt say that omg. she may Think it, and Want to express it, but i think it’s a disservice to what makes nancy interesting to just skip 5 years in her emotional development and suddenly have her acting as this mother-figure of the group who addresses everyone’s feelings concisely and plays it safe.

i think it’s a liiiittle bit stemming from misogyny. the “mom friend” trope is kinda pushed on her automatically, even amidst mom steve jokes, because she’s a girl in the group so she MUST attend to everyone’s feelings and make sure all the kids have snacks or whatever. it just does not reflect the more interesting and unique character we see on screen

[equallyshaw]

word vomit | connor bedard - based of kenzie Ziegler's song "word vomit - takes place in the 2024-2025 season - they/them pronouns! - im extremely rusty, so pls be kind! haha - hope you all enjoy xx

- also f the format omg

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: none!

The thought of who I thought you were It makes me sick I'm feeling like I lost a limb A piece of me is gone and I don't think I'll re-attach it

_

phoenix had been blindsided. blindsided by it all. they did not understand, at all. the version of connor that they had apparently dreamt connor up to be was false, oh so very false. they'd never thought once that connor would or could do such a thing. especially with who his parents and sister were, his friends on the team who thought of him as a young brother and pulled him under his wing the second he got there. but all hockey players are the same, right? phoenix believed they'd never move on and heal from this, there was no way right? phoenix didn't know how they could move on as if nothing had happened, especially since connor didn't think twice or think to think of them.

-

But nothing hurts like that shit It's hard to wrap my head around The fact that you've been making me look back Playing the victim like it wasn't you who fucked up what we had And lit the match like it was nothing Left me feeling gutted

_

since the moment they'd figured out about connor cheating, they could not help but look back at the two year relationship. was every moment a lie? was it all fake? was phoenix just a place holder until the real one came along? it hurt them beyond belief, to have to do all of that. how could this be? is this for real? were the two questions they played over and over in their mind, for the next few months afterward. phoenix was just confused about it all.

then connor, oh sweet innocent connor debued the perfect pictured esque girl to the world, and made everybody believe that the girl was his light at the end of the tunnel. that it was phoenix's fault that they were not together anymore and that it was phoenix's fault that connor had moved on with her. phoenix let their thoughts and feelings be heard with kevin korchinski's girlfriend taylor, who had been even more shocked to hear what connor had done. taylor couldn't believe that the connor that kevin gushed about, was completely different.

||

"oh fuck you, connor! what the hell were you thinking?!" taylor screamed at connor as kevin tried to pull them to leave the dinner that connor threw for a few of the young guys. alex vlasic, frank nazar, phillip kurashev and nolan allen. not to mention their partners. "you're gonna act like an angel when you're far from it?!" she screamed, "and you! you're not much of a girl's girl as you claim to be!" she screamed at the girl that had been introduced to the group tonight for the first time. "you fucking pig, connor!" taylor screamed before kevin grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the luxury apartment. "fuck you kevin, why didn't you let me finish, huh!" she screamed at her boyfriend who only sighed in response. she was about to talk back towards the door as she saw red, but kevin only held her hand to keep her from going. "because if you do that, then ill have to answer to connor. and possibly harm our friendship, tay." he said pulling her into the elevator. "if it was any other circumstance, and us getting along was not apart of our job - i'd give him even more of my mind babe." kevin said as the elevator closed. "what?" she questioned, looking at her boyfriend. "when he told a few of us, oh i was seeing red, i heckled him so badly he had to leave the room. and then when he posted her, i gave him more of my mind as well." he said and taylor calmed down a bit. "come on, lets go see phoenix." he said pulling her out onto the 2nd floor and pulling her towards phoenix's and her roommates apartment.

-

"he fucking ruined me." phoenix said as they nursed their spiked drink, before chuckling. "i should of known it was coming, fuck." they cried. taylor frowned while kevin looked at the ground, "he claims to be a victim but he's far from it." phoenix's roommate natalia said walking in and sitting next to phoenix on the couch. "god, i wish somebody could break him like a twig." natalia said grimly before chugging her drink. "he ran with it, without a second thought. no care in the world for me especially since our relationship wasn't as private as i had wanted. but what connor wants, he gets." phoenix sighed. taylor nodded understanding and knew how much she fought with connor and how much he 'flaunted' the relationship via social media. "he didn't care how much it broke me, not a second thought or look back to see how it affected me."

_

phoenix had been finishing cleaning up the kitchen when connor had gone to take a shower. once they were done cleaning, they headed towards their room to get ready for the evening. connor's phone had been placed on his nightstand, and it was buzzing by the time phoenix had finished up the kitchen and headed towards the room. their eyebrows crinkled as they peered over to see who it was and if it might be urgent. the name popped up with a single '🌹' for the name. the call ended, and then they called once again. by that time, connor had missed 3 calls. phoenix swallowed harshly before picking it up, "hello?" they questioned. the person on the other line gasped, "who is this?" phoenix questioned.

connor opened up the ensemble washroom door, with just a towel on. his curls drenched and pressed against his forehead. he felt his body run cold.

"who. is. this." phoenix asked once more before the call ended. phoenix's mouth opened as they pressed their tonight to the roof of their mouth, biting their tongue essentially. trying to figure out the word they wanted to say first.

phoenix tore the phone away from her ear, before chucking it at him and was surprised that beneath the shock his reflexes were still sharp, as he caught it. "don't lie connor, don't you dare." they threatened with a snarl. connor swallowed his panic, once he saw the single rose on his notifications. he clenched his jaw for a tense moment, "she's a girl...I've been talking to." he said vaguely and phoenix let out a sob they'd been holding in. it was a jab to the heart. almost like a dagger. "I've done nothing wrong." phoenix began in a soft whisper, "why?" they followed up quickly trying to search connor's face. he shrugged.

that fucker, they thought.

"seriously? seriously." their fists clenched at their sides, and connor met their eye. "what do you want me to say, phe? want me to lie and say that i still love you, that you are it for me? it was a moment of stupidity? that i regret it all? that you didn't give me reasons to step out?" he deadpanned and phoenix's head tilted to the side, studying him. "I've given you everything. all of me. why this? what did i do to deserve this?" they rambled, beginning to run through everything over the past two years. nothing suspicious came up.

"phe-" they cut him off with one look, "you don't get to call me that, not anymore!" they screamed at him, knocking him dead in his tracks. they let a sob out before clasping their hand over their mouth. with a shake of their head, they turned away and began their descent out of the shared apartment. "phoenix!" connor called after them, and they abruptly stopped in front of the door - before turning around. "i never want you to speak to me ever again." they announced before opening the door and stepping into the hall, with a slam of the door. phoenix heard towards the stairwell and headed downstairs to the apartment they shared with their friend.

||

Now my thoughts are pouring out Wondering what you talked about Late at night back at your house Did you really think I wouldn't have found out?

_

phoenix poured themself a tall glass of wine, now two months after they'd found out about connor cheating. they'd had enough of sitting nightly with the thoughts and feelings that ran wild and threatened her soul. they pulled their laptop onto their lap, as the sat against the floor-length windows that showed the skyline of chicago. their notes app opened, they began to write. anything and everything. they thought in particular back to that dreadful night, once they had already skimmed through their two year relationship. now they had remembered something, something that now seemed strange.

||

phoenix sat across from alex vlasic's girlfriend, ella and taylor in the lake house. the three of them took the weekend before the season began and headed up to michigan, an hour and a half from chicago. phoenix finished her drink and stood up, announcing that they were getting another from the kitchen. they made their way from the all year round porch and heard whispers coming from their designation. their eyebrows furrowed before stepping into the kitchen and heading towards the fridge. kevin eyed his friend as alex looked towards phoenix. phoenix laughed, "yes alex?" they questioned opening up the seltzer and taking a few sips. alex shook his head before walking out of the kitchen. kevin continued to send daggers towards connor was who his so called 'best friend'. "i think taylor wanted to talk you bout something, kev." they said leaning on the counter. kevin pulled his gaze from connor and nodded at phoenix before slapping connor across the back of his scalp, and then left the room.

phoenix watched kevin walk out and then looked back at connor who was rubbing the scorned place.

"everything okay?" they questioned with slight humor locating their words. phoenix walked up and wrapped her arms around his neck, "yeah." connor breathed before kissing their forehead. "dumb bet on a golf game that's all, sunshine." he hummed and they nodded looking up at him. "come on, lets go upstairs." they teased quietly and pulling connors hands and he finally moved with them.

||

What does she give you that I couldn't? If you'd asked me, well I would've

_

the first time phoenix saw the girl with connor in public, couldn't have happened soon enough they thought. taylor and phoenix were out with one another before taylor and kevin headed back up to canada for the offseason, and the two had gone to lunch before shopping for a bit and then see a movie together. the two of them had walked into lulu lemon for taylor to find a pair of sneakers, and phoenix felt their body run cold.

taylor walked back up behind her friend and then followed her eyesight, and froze with phoenix. "hey, we can-" taylor was cut off by the blonde in question, and phoenix moved away quickly behind a rack of clothes. "hey naiomi?" taylor said in slight surprise as she saw connor walking up behind her. "how have you been? you and kev excited to go back home for the summer?" they questioned and taylor gave her a tight lip smile and nodded softly. "you?" taylor questioned and naiomi smiled. "yes - super excited, especially since connor wants to show me vancouver, since I've never been before!" naiomi explained, and taylor nodded. "sounds fun! but if you'll excuse me, I have some more errands to run before i leave, but i wish you guys safe travels!" she said to the both of them before finding phoenix out of the corner of her eye. she headed over towards them and pulled them out of the store.

"im so so sorry about that." taylor apologized but phoenix waved her off, "you didn't know nor did i. its fine, i promise." they said with a slight smile before the two stood at the cross walk. "how about we head to the theater?" phoenix offered and taylor nodded.

yet, throughout the movie phoenix could not help but question what was wrong with them, or what they lacked for connor. even 3 months later, they were questioning everything. why weren't they good enough? was it because they weren't blonde? was it because they didn't fit that 'ideal' or stereotypical wag picture?

the movie ended too quickly for phoenix's liking, and soon enough they found themselves back at their apartment nursing a can of spiked lemonade. natalia came home and found her best friend quiet, too quiet. as soon as she found phoenix in their room, she knew something had happened- they hadn't been this silent for some time now. phoenix met natalia's eye, "i saw him..and her." they said as their voice cracked, which then opened the floodgates. "why wasn't i good enough, natalia? what didn't i have or give that wasn't enough?" they sobbed as natalia wrapped her arms around phoenix. "i i don't know, phe. but you are enough, just the way you are. the world loves you for who you are." natalia whispered, hoping it could bring some sort of comfort, but it didn't.

instead, they grew angry. hoping, connor would regret what he'd done. because they would have done whatever to have kept him.

_

Now you call me screaming, laughing, screaming, crying On the floor, you say you're dying It's delusional, it's all on you for lying Yeah, it's all on you for lying

_

it was december of that following season when phoenix received a call. their eyebrows creased when they heard sobbing on the other line, and heavy breathing. "hello?" they questioned, hoping to grab the other person's attention. "phe?" they heard softly on the other line, and felt their heart stop. the simple and soft beloved nickname of his was followed by bouts of sobbing and heavy breathing. phoenix turned off the stove and sat down against the kitchen cabinet, trying to collect their own thoughts. "connor?" phoenix said his name for the first time in months. connor felt his breathing stop abruptly before it picked up once again.

"connor...are you ok?" they questioned softly and heard sniffles, before clearing their throat. "im sorry-" they began before letting out a cry, "im sorry for what i did, it was wrong of me and you never deserved any of that." connor rambled, "you were the best thing that had ever happened to me and threw that away and ill never forgive myself for doing that. and im sorry i never apologized phe, i really am, you have to believe me." connor finished and phoenix sighed. they had finally reached a point where connor's name never flashed before their mind nor thoughts, and he didn't mean anything to them anymore.

"you cant do this connor, you can't." they now began, before resting their eyes for a brief moment. they let a soft whimper, "you can't change what you did connor and im not obligated to believe you after all these months. when i fin-finally, stop thinking about you, you swoop in and try to suck me back. im not obligated to forgive you for something you lied about and kept doing for so long- i don't have to believe you, and i will not. for all i know you're calling me while still being with her, she should be the one receiving this phone call not me." phoenix stated before letting out a shakey breath.

"i dont know what im feeling phe, i don't i feel like my chest is on fire and i cant breathe and-" they cut him off, "connor - go find alex or somebody else. not me, it cant be me and never will be again con." they said with a slight pause, "it wasn't my fault connor, and this isn't my job." phoenix said before hanging up. they quickly texted alex, letting him know what was happening and alex said he'd go check on him.

phoenix's head fell back against the wood cabinet, and sighed. what had they'd done to deserve all of this? nothing.

_ Hope it's weighing on your conscience _ march, 2026.

phoenix and taylor walked in with ella to a hawks game, after a year of begging them to come out with them. they knew that they had loved the game before connor and would love it, even afterwards. phoenix felt calm as they sat down in the stands, and took in the sights and sounds of the united center. they thought of all their memories pre connor and chuckled to themself, and smiled over the many many memories they had made with their family.

"can i just say the dark brown is hot." ella said inspecting their hair once more, making phoenix giggle. "no for real, its SO good." taylor said commenting, before fluffing their hair up. "it was either go blonde again orrrrr do this, and i absolutely love it." phoenix smiled at ella as taylor snapped a picture. "oh hey, did you wanna go out to eat with alex and kevin with us later?" ella questioned and phoenix nodded, "i'd love that." they smiled genuinely.

it was a few hours later, after a gritty win against the detroit red wings- they found themselves at one of their old stomping grounds when connor and them were together. the girls left on their own in an uber to get to the restaurant instead of waiting for the guys. they all sat down at a long table in the back and quickly ordered drinks. phoenix and the girls were in the middle of laughing when the boys started to show up. kevin hugged phoenix from behind before sitting down in between them and taylor. "so glad you could make it out nixie." kevin said smiling wide before phoenix responded with a grin.

"im always down for a night at boka." they grinned before sipping some more of their cocktail. "oh! i hopes it okay, i invited somebody." they said and taylor smiled widely before it turned into a grin. "who?" kevin questioned, looking between the two. phoenix went to go speak before they heard their name.

taylor clasped her hands together as kevin looked between phoenix and his girlfriend, before taylor stood up to greet the person. phoenix stood up and met the guy as he stepped closer. phoenix melted into his hug, which they'd come to adore these past few months at this point. "nicklas!" taylor said behind the two, and phoenix playfully rolled their eyes. "nick- but good to see you again taylor." he said giving her a side hug while still holding on phoenix's hand. "oh i know, i just like the name." taylor mused before heading back to the table. unbeknownst to phoenix, she whispered a "be nice" to the table, and then eyed the one and only connor bedard, who swallowed tensely.

"hi guys, this is nick my partner, nick this is everybody." phoenix said smiling softly nick said hello and a good game, and apologized if he was overstepping but alex butted in, "the more the merrier man, welcome." he said standing up to introduce himself. phoenix sat down next to kevin and to an empty chair to her right, for nick.

phoenix pulled some stray hair behind her ear, before meeting the eye of connor from the other end of the table. he gave her a small smile and slight nod, in acknowledgment. their brief moment was interrupted by kevin, "now now, tell us how you and miss nixie met." he grinned as nick threw an arm around the backside of their chair. phoenix hid her face in his shoulders and the group took in their reaction with a chorus laugh.

"yes lets, miss nixie." nick mused.

hope you enjoyed!! going to be posting more as my last semester finishes and i graduate with my undergrad, but until then it might be sporadic!

[etherealyoungk]

strangers to lovers | moon junhui

seventeen as romantic tropes series ✩ masterlist ✩

PAIRING: junhui x reader

THEMES: strangers to lovers trope, blind date

WARNINGS: fluff

WORDCOUNT: 850

A/N: enjoy <3

you reached the restaurant a bit early and sat down at a table, waiting for your date to arrive. it was your first blind date and you were really nervous about it, but also a little hopeful because he seemed like a nice guy when you had talked and he seemed really eager to meet you. you wore a simple yet pretty outfit and some minimal makeup. you checked the time on my phone and it was almost 5:00pm. he should be here soon. but 15 minutes have passed and he's still not here.

"are you ready to order miss?" the waitress asks.

"no i'm actually waiting for someone", you say and she gives you a small nod and goes on her way. another ten minutes pass and he's still not here. you call and text him but he isn't taking your calls and isn't seeing your texts either.

dread and realisation wash over you as you realise you've been stood up. but some part of you doesn't want to believe it and you keep waiting, hoping that he's just late. the waitress makes her way to your table again and you try your best to keep calm as you tell her the person you're waiting for is running latel but she just gives you a look like she knows.

as you look around, people are glancing at you and giving you apologetic looks and you suddenly feel so embarrassed, looking down at your lap, and fiddling with your fingers. it's been almost 45 minutes and now you really don't think he's going to show up - you've been stoop up. you finally get the courage to get up and leave when a man you've never seen before and is damn well not your date sliding into the seat across from you, flashing you a pretty smile.

"hey babe, i'm so sorry i got late, i had a small setback at work", he says loudly, like he wants everyone to hear. you furrow my brows in confusion.

"'i'm jun, just go with it okay?" he adds quietly, and you don't know why but you went with it. maybe because he was trying to help you from this embarrassing situation.

"finally! i was so hungry", you reply, surpressing the urge to laugh out loud at what you were doing right now.

"oh really? you should have ordered something for yourself then, i'm so sorry for being late", he replied and you couldn't help but chuckle at this exchange, and he chuckled along too.

you both go quiet again, just looking at each other. "whoever didn't bother to show up is an ass", he says, breaking the silence. "so you don't mind if i join you right?" he asks, looking at you intently.

"no, it's fine", you say and we order our food.

"how did you know i was stood up?" you ask, leaning forward.

"oh, you're going to think i'm weird", he rubbing the back of his neck "like this situation isn't weird enough", you prompt, giving him a look.

"i see you in the bus almost every day and i thought of asking for your number so i followed you. but it looked like you were waiting for someone so i just sat on the bench outside. and when i saw no one had come after 20 minutes, combined with the look of dread on your face, it was easy to put it all together", he explains sheepishly.

"oh, was it that obvious?" you asked, feeling embarrassed and shy again. "yeah, but i think i came and saved you just in time didn't i?" he asked, proud. "yes you did, thank you for that", you say smiling.

he's so sweet and so cute not to mention really handsome. you both talk some more over dinner and he insists on paying even though you barely know him and you offer to pay him back.

"thank you again, it was really sweet of you", you tell, grateful and he smiles.

"no problem, i still can't believe that such a pretty person like you got stood up", he said, flattering you.

"you should really give your boyfriend a piece of your mind when you see him, he shouldn't have stood you up like that, he could have at least called and told you", he added as you furrow your brows in slight confusion.

"actually it was a blind date, i don't have a boyfriend", you said and you didn't miss the face light up at this piece of information, suddenly looking hopeful as he tried to hide the smile on his face.

"in that case, you do want to have lunch tomorrow with me?" he asked, and he was definitely nervous by the look on his face. was he asking you out?

"sure", you tell because why not? he seemed like a really sweet and cool guy and he was 100% better the guy who just stood you up.

he grinned when you said yes and you both exchanged numbers and parted ways. tonight was the best non-planned date ever.

taglist: @biboramp3 @naaaaafla @weird-bookworm @icyminghao @blue-jisungs @wootify @n4mj00nvq @itsveronicaxxx @fallingforshua29 @frankenstein852 @lvlystars @mirxzii @wheeboo @fairyhaos @kikohao @rubywonu @odxrilove @writingmeraki @asilentreader @kwonshiho @belladaises @graybaeismytae @mykpopficblog @seunghancore @emotionalsupportbrat @moodays @avaaahuang @foxinnie8 @wonvsmile

[justagalwhowrites]

Someone New: Part of For You - A Collection of Requests Benefitting Palestine

Joel is new to Jackson and his family is eager to play matchmaker.

Event Terms: Commissioners could choose to donate between $15 and $50 via Ko-Fi for one fic of 1-2k words. Payment due after completion of the fic. Donation with a match by the author paid to PCRF upon completion. Commissioners had the option to choose to keep a fic private and all fics may not be shared here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC Ashley (NOT a reader insert)

Warnings: Smut :D Unprotected P in V sex. Daddy kink. Age gap (Joel is 56, Ashley is 40.) Light Dom!Joel and Sub!FOC. No use of Y/N. 18+ Only MINORS DNI

Length: 3.6k

For You Masterlist | Full Masterlist | AO3

A/N: Written as a request by the lovely @ashleyfilm! She requested "Jackson era Joel from the tv show, so Pedro, and me (Ashley, plus size, I’m 40, I have black hair and glasses, my eyes are blue green with some hazel, I have tattoos, I’m short. A little goth, wear all black where it’s possible in an apocalypse haha) in this scenario I have a cool exterior and I’m independent by nature, but when you get to know me I’m funny and loving, but keep to myself. Joel and I would both like each other but have no clue, while Tommy, Maria and Ellie would all know and roll their eyes at us, try and talk sense into us. Eventually we come together and I’d love some smut. Some daddy soft dom Joel, I’m sub, the only time I want to be told what to do is during sex. I like giving pussies a pronoun so like she likes it and her if you know what I mean. And some fluff would be nice too." Shared with permission. I hope you all enjoy!!

Tommy was starting to drive Joel insane. 

It had taken some adjustment, coming to Jackson. 

There was the adjustment of being back around other people at all, for starters. There was the adjustment to being a father again. There was the adjustment of being in a place he cared about, one where he wanted to contribute instead of forced to to keep FEDRA’s boot off his neck. 

It had been a lot to swallow and, not that anyone was asking, he thought he’d done a damn good job of it. Ellie was happy, going to school every day and making friends. He had his ways to play his part in the community. 

So what if he was doing it all on his own? It’s not like it’s a crime to keep to yourself, he wasn’t sure why Tommy kept trying to push him further than he wanted to go. 

He doubted it was because Ashley was asking him to.

Ashley, the woman Tommy kept damn near throwing him toward at every opportunity. Ashley, who was years too young for him to even be thinking about the way he did. Ashley, whose plush curves and bright eyes had caught his attention from the moment he met her, even as she kept her distance from Joel and, it seemed, just about everyone else in Jackson. 

It didn’t matter how much Joel would enjoy things being different, that the little time he’d spent with her had been some of his favorite since coming here. She wasn’t interested - couldn’t be interested - and he wasn’t about to force it. 

Tommy, it seemed, had other ideas. 

“I’m not sure why you won’t just see if she wants to go,” Tommy said one night as they sat in the mess hall for dinner. “What’s the harm?” 

“Don’t particularly feel like gettin’ shot down,” Joel replied, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. “Got enough goin’ on without worrying about that, too.” 

“Worrying about what?” Maria asked, taking her spot next to Tommy. Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing he was about to be outnumbered. 

“Joel won’t ask Ashley to the dance on Saturday,” Tommy smirked a little. “He’s convinced she’d say no…” 

“Who would say no to what?” Ellie joined them, too, sitting next to Joel. 

“Ashley to Joel and the dance, apparently,” Maria said, giving Ellie a knowing look. 

“Oh shit,” Ellie’s eyes went a little wide. “They’d be so cute together, Joel pretending to be a person who actually does something besides be grumpy…” 

“OK you tryin’ to get yourself grounded?” Joel asked, brows raised. Ellie rolled her eyes. “Because it sure seems like it. And I don’t need y’all match making for me. I am doin’ just fine without worrying about all of that. Leave it.” 

Ellie and Maria gave each other a knowing look that Joel was about to call them on when Tommy distracted him. 

“You’re going to the dance Saturday anyway, right?” He asked. “Just because you’re too chicken shit to bring a date doesn’t mean you should sit it out. It’s a big party, the whole town will be there, you should at least come by for a few drinks. You’ll miss out if you don’t.” 

“Yeah, I want to go!” Ellie said, turning to Joel and pouting a little. “You’re really going to make me go all by myself?” 

“I’ll go to the dance,” Joel sighed before looking between the others and gesturing between them with the fork. “S’long as you three are done meddling.” 

“We’ll behave,” Ellie smirked a little. “I promise.” 

Joel shouldn’t have believed them. He should have known better. 

But that didn’t make him any less surprised when he showed up to the dance Saturday evening and looked for Tommy and Maria, only to find them sitting with Ashley, her dark hair styled to pair with the black dress that seemed like it was made to highlight her every soft curve, curves that Joel had spent hours dreaming about exploring with his hands and mouth. 

He was going to strangle Tommy. 

“Joel!” His brother called, waving him over, as if Joel would have missed him. “Over here!” 

“C’mon old man,” Ellie teased. “Stop being such a fucking coward.” 

“We’re talking about your language later,” he muttered, letting Ellie lead him to the table, hoping that no one had put too much pressure on Ashley to put her in this position. 

“Well look who decided to join the party,” Tommy smirked. Joel ground his teeth. “Ashley, you know my brother Joel.” 

“I do,” she gave him a cool, tight smile and took a sip of her drink, looking back out toward the dance floor. 

“Hi,” Joel said before feeling like a bit of an idiot and pulling his eyes from her to turn back to his brother. “How are you Tommy, Maria?” 

“Oh, we’re good,” Maria smiled a little, looking more like Tommy than Joel thought was appropriate. He wondered if married couples started looking alike before too long. 

“Just peachy,” Tommy said as a new song started. “Oh would you look at that, I need to dance with my wife. Maria?” 

He offered her his hand and she smiled wider before taking it, giving Joel a meaningful look before being led onto the dance floor by her husband. 

“Oh, I think I see Dina,” Ellie said before clapping Joel on the back and leaving him there, alone with Ashley, before he had the chance to argue. 

Joel just stood there, awkwardly, trying not to stare at her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. 

“So,” he said eventually. “Um… that seat taken?” 

She looked at him, brows raised. 

“Just by your brother.” 

“Right,” he said, taking it anyway. She looked back toward the dance floor and Joel looked her over while he had the chance, how the darkness of her clothes seemed to suit her, the sharp intelligence behind her glasses, the beauty of the tattoos he could see on her exposed skin. He wondered what each of them meant, wondered what it would be like to take his time tracing over each one. 

“So,” she turned her attention back to Joel. “Liking Jackson so far? Been here… what, a few months now?” 

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. “S’good. Different than where I’ve been for a while but that’s a good thing. Ellie likes it, all that really matters.” 

She nodded slowly, taking another sip of her drink. 

“Seems like she’s a good kid,” she said. “Sure got a mouth on her, though.” 

“Yeah,” Joel laughed, leaning his elbows onto the table. “She’s somethin’ else. I tried telling her she needs to watch her language, this ain’t the QZ.” 

“That’s a hell of an adjustment,” she smiled a little and damn, Joel really liked to see her smile. More than he’d liked seeing a woman smile in… he wasn’t sure how long. “Trust me, I know.” 

“You spent some time in a QZ?” He asked, brows raised. 

She nodded, taking a final sip of her cocktail. 

“Portland,” she said. “I was there at the beginning. One night, I was sneaking liquor at industry night at my favorite club, the next it’s a war zone. Got used to it after a while, though. You were in Boston with Tommy, right?” 

“I was,” Joel nodded. “Took us a while to work our way there but found it eventually.” 

“And you both ended up all the way out here.” 

“Suppose so,” Joel said. He nodded to her empty glass. “Can I get you another?” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “That’d be nice.” 

He went to the bar and got them both a drink before rejoining her at the table. 

Joel was surprised at how much he liked talking with her. For how much time he’d spent thinking about her and looking at her, he hadn’t spent much time actually talking with her. She wasn’t what he’d expected. 

Where he’d always known her to be a bit distant and cool, he was starting to realize that, as soon as he was past the caution she seemed to approach the world with, she was really very warm and loving, thoughtful and kind. They talked about music, about what they missed about before, the quirks of life in Jackson after living in a QZ. 

By the time Joel got her onto the dance floor, he was ready to get her home. And he was starting to think she wanted the same. 

“Can I walk you home?” Joel asked as the Tipsy Bison was almost empty and he wasn’t able to come up with any more excuses to stay. 

“You can,” she smiled. “But… I think I’d rather you walk me to yours.” 

He smiled back. 

“Think that can be arranged.” 

Joel draped his arm over her shoulders and the two of them walked slowly through the dark town, the streets quiet and the stars bright. 

“Well,” Joel said as they came to his front walk. “This is me. Still want to come in?” 

“Yeah,” Ashley nodded. “Yeah, I really do.” 

He smiled. 

“Good.” 

He took her hand and led her to his door. 

But things shifted as they made it inside. Joel tilted her face up, finding the right angle, thumb brushing her lips, waiting for her to make a move. 

But she didn’t. Her breaths got quicker, her eyes searched his and, after a moment, he felt like he couldn’t wait anymore. 

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he said. “Because it’s all I’ve been thinkin’ about doing for a while.” 

She just nodded quickly and he kissed her, covering her mouth with his. 

It had been a while since Joel had kissed anyone, even longer since it was a first kiss. But Joel could tell this was different, something special. It was like an electric current ran over his skin, sparking at where your lips met and shooting out through the rest of him. There was a sharp, sudden pang of need deep inside him, the drive to be closer to her, as close as he could reach. More than that, he wanted to know that she was safe, cared for. That she had what she needed and what she wanted because he was giving it to her. 

“Joel,” she breathed as they separated, just enough for him to look in those blue green eyes of hers. “Will you take me to bed?” 

“Yeah baby,” he said, want seeping into his voice. “Yeah, I will.” 

He kissed her again, his hands sliding down from her face to her arms to her waist, moving her toward the stairs as he did. He only pulled away from her when they needed to go up to his room, not wanting to stop touching her for even a few moments, his skin almost aching as he watched the round shape of her ass in her black skirt going upstairs ahead of him. 

Joel pulled her back against him at the top of the stairs, the few seconds she was apart from him too much. Her arms stretched up and went around his neck and his hands roamed over her back and sides, luxuriating in just how soft she felt, how he could find places on her that seemed made for him to hold. He guided her to his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He slid his hands back up her body over her arms, his callused fingers slipping over her soft skin. 

“You gonna let me make you feel good, pretty girl?” He asked, voice dark and low. “Because I want to touch every damn inch of you.” 

“Please, Joel,” she whispered, her fingers tightening desperately on his curls at the nape of his neck. “Please, I want you, I need you, I…” 

“Shhh,” he hushed her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just let Daddy take care of you.” 

He kissed her again and found the zipper on her dress, sliding it down, down, down, until he could slide the straps down her arms and let the fabric fall to the floor. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes ranging over Ashley’s body, tracing over her curves and tattoos. “You are the most beautiful damn thing I’ve ever seen.” 

He reached around and unhooked her bra, sliding the straps down her arms and dropping it to the floor before cupping her breasts, the fullness of her so soft below his touch that he couldn’t help but groan. 

“You gonna let me take care of you, baby girl?” He asked, voice husky. “You need me to take care of you, don’t you?” 

He wasn’t entirely sure why he said it but something inside him just knew, he could sense it in her. That she wanted someone to guide her, someone she could trust to take charge and give her what she needed.

He could tell by the way she nodded that he was right. 

Joel guided her down onto the bed before pulling his shirt and casting it aside. His eyes ranged over her body as he took his jeans and underwear off, too, his cock already thick and achingly hard. He worked himself, not able to stop himself as he drank her in, memorizing her. 

“Want you to touch yourself for me,” he said, stepping closer to the bed. “Spread those pretty legs, put your hand in your panties, show me how you like to touch yourself.” 

She took a hesitant, shaky breath and slid her hand down her body before slipping them below the fabric, stretching it tight over her pussy for a moment before her hand dipped lower. He could see the outline of her fingers clearly, watched with his mouth watering as they stroked her pussy lips before slipping inside. 

“There you go, baby girl,” he groaned, stroking his cock in time with her fingers. “You just keep on doin’ that for me.” 

He moved to the bed and she frowned as he reached out, looping his fingers around the waistband of her panties to start tugging them down. His eyes moved from her face, down her body to where her pussy lay just below the fabric. Her fingers were still. 

“I tell you to stop?” He asked. She groaned and he saw her fingers start to move again. “That’s my good girl. Want your pussy all nice and wet and full when I see her the first time.” 

He pulled her underwear down slowly, revealing her wet slit with two of her fingers buried deep inside herself as he did.

“Oh, there she is,” he breathed, casting her panties aside. “Fuck, such a pretty little pussy ain’t she?” 

Ashley just moaned, thrusting her fingers deeper. Joel licked his lips, desperate for a taste of her. 

“Spread her open for me, baby,” he said, spreading her legs wide and settling between them. “Lemme see.” 

Her hands trembled as she slid her fingers from her dripping entrance and delicately opened herself to him. 

“Fuck me,” Joel groaned, taking a thumb and brushing it over her tight little hole before trailing it up to her swollen nub. “Gonna take a lot before she can take me. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” 

He pressed his mouth to her entrance, just a kiss at first, a taste of her musky sweetness. His thumb stayed against her clit, rubbing her in slow and gentle circles as he dipped is tongue inside of her. 

Joel started slow, easing her into it. His tongue worked deeper, his thumb harder. Eventually, he added a finger, then two, starting to stretch her open as her hips canted up against his face, her legs squirming, delicious moans and gasps pouring from her lips. He looped an arm around her thigh to hold her still, pulling her leg against the side of his head and leaving his nose to work her clit as his hand splayed wide on her plush thigh. 

“Fuck, I’m going to come,” her back was arched, fingers wound tight in his quilt. “I’m coming, I’m coming Daddy, I’m coming!” 

He smiled against her as he ate her through her orgasm, pressing his aching cock down into the bed as he felt her pussy flutter over his tongue. 

When her climax eased, he pulled himself from her tight, wet heat and rose to his knees, stroking his dripping length as she came back down to earth. He nudged her legs apart and down, leaving her fully exposed to him. He ran his fingers over her slit, gathering her wetness and bringing it to his cock as she looked at him, her eyes a little wide. 

“Is…” she swallowed, hard. “Is that going to fit inside me? I don’t know if that’s going to fit…” 

“It’ll fit, baby girl,” he said, working himself as he lined himself up with her entrance. “You can take it, so nice and wet for me. You just relax and let me inside you.” 

He pressed his cock against her tight center, moaning and just how hot and wet and fucking soft she felt. He watched, almost obsessed, as she opened to take him, the stretch almost obscene as he saw himself start to disappear into her body. 

“See baby?” He panted as he sank just the first few inches of him into her cunt. “You can take it, taking it so good for me. She stretches so fuckin’ pretty for me, so goddamn pretty.” 

Her hands flew to his biceps as he leaned over her, pressing himself deeper, her fingers scrambling over his muscle as he worked her open. Joel fought to think of anything but the fact that he was almost fully inside the woman he’d been longing for for weeks now. He couldn’t come too quick, he couldn’t let this end now. He had to take his time, had to feel her come around him. 

And then he was buried inside her to the root, the entirety of him in the entirety of her, her walls stretching to hold him. 

“There you go,” he praised her. He splayed his hand wide over her thick, soft lower stomach, pressing into her skin as his thumb slid down to her clit and started stroking it. “Did so good, taking me so well. You ever been this stretched baby?” 

“No daddy,” her nails dug into his arm. “Feels so good…” 

“Good girl,” he said, working her clit a little harder. She moaned and rocked her hips against him. “Aw, does someone need to be fucked? Someone need me to make her come?” 

“Yes,” she pleaded. “Please, please, please Daddy, please, I need to come, I need…” 

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, leaning over her and kissing her deeply, the taste of her mouth mixing with the taste of her pussy that lingered on his tongue. “Gonna make you come so hard for me.” 

He pulled back before thrusting forward, hard and fast and making her gasp, her hands flying from his arms to his back. But he stopped her, taking hold of her arms and pinning them over her head with one of his large hands. 

“You can use those when I tell you,” he said. “Right now, need you focused on taking,” he pulled back and thrust back in quickly. “This.” He did it again, fucking into her hard and fast. “Cock.” He did it one last time before grinding himself deep. “Tell me when you’re about to come.” 

He picked up his pace then, fucking into her deep and firm, grinding his hips down against her clit, feeling how her breasts moved against him as he forced her walls apart with each heavy stroke. 

Joel didn’t let up, too lost in her and just how damn good she felt to do anything else. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been fucking her - just that it wasn’t long enough - when her breathy, desperate voice broke through the lust-driven haze of his mind. 

“I’m gonna come,” she keened, her pussy to tight around him that it almost hurt. “Gonna come, I’m gonna come Daddy, please…” 

He freed her hands then and she gasped, her fingers immediately finding the broad expanse of his back. Joel took her face in his hands and looked into those eyes of hers, unlike anything else he’d ever seen as he felt how her body took his. 

“Good girl,” he said, breathless and needy, too. “Come for me, come all over my cock, that’s it, so good for me…” 

The chorus of praise continued until she cried out, her whole body seizing as her channel gripped him so tight he was almost afraid it would force him out. But he held himself deep inside her, kissing her as she moaned into his mouth as she throbbed around him. His orgasm took hold, amazed for the half second he was aware enough to think that he’d been able to hold off this long, emptying himself deep inside of her. 

“Fuck,” she moaned, panting for breath as they both came down from their shared high. Joel had all but collapsed on top of her and he adjusted, pulling himself gently from her body and feeling their combined spend leaking from her as he did. He lay beside her and she turned to look at him. “That… I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like that.” 

He smiled a little. 

“Me either.” 

She smiled back. 

“I think we’ll have to do that again sometime,” she said. 

“Only if you let me take you out first,” Joel said. “Don’t think I can get enough of you in bed. Think I’m gonna need as much as you’ll let me have outside it, too.” 

Ashley reached out and carded her fingers through his thick, shaggy curls. 

“I think we can make that work.”