#anyway chicago ftw

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

i've been out of academia so long (less than a year) that i forgot there were various citation styles

[posallys]

Anyway the right answer to the poll i posted earlier is chicago ftw

[quelsentiment]

heyy ! I've just realized Idk what u thought of fitf and if u had favorites and now I'm curious!👀

haha yeah, it's not like i've really been active on here since the release... i'm definitely not as involved in louis and his music as i once was, so i kind of experienced the release as a casual listener, and i haven't listened to the album that much since it came out (still more than a lot of other albums that were released this year, though)

anyway, tbh at first i was a bit scared because i'm not a huge fan of bigger than me. i find its structure a bit akward, if that makes sense, like the verses and chorus don't match or something. it did kind of grow on me with time, though

i only started to get really excited about the album when silver tongues came out, and it's still one of my favourites!! absolute banger and i love the lyrics (found family ftw and all that)

talking about the album in general, i really like it as a whole, probably more than walls. the greatest is my absolute number 1, i especially love the production (those strings <33)

i actually feel like production is definitely something that's a major step-up compared to walls (as well as the variety of louis' vocals), like it was given more thought in order to make the songs more interesting. i do feel like it could have gone a step further, though?? like make it even more unique to him... maybe for lt3!

in terms of the quality of melodies and lyrics, i feel like it's still kind of all over the place, like a lot of the songs are hit or miss for me...

hits: the greatest, written all over your face, all this time (why is it so short though?), silver tongues, angels fly (although it does suffer from a 'weaker chorus' syndrome like bigger than me imo), holding on to heartache

misses: bigger than me, she is beauty we are world class (although i do love the production), chicago

overall i'd give it a strong 6/light 7 as anthony fantano would say

[wrestlingisfake]

NJPW 52nd Anniversary preview

Tetsuya Naito vs. SHO - Naito is the IWGP world heavyweight champion, and Sho is the IWGP junior heavyweight champion. Neither title is at stake in this match--it's just a tradition to have the top heavyweight face the top junior on the anniversary show.

Naito's next title defense will be in Tokyo on April 6 in Tokyo, against the winner of the New Japan Cup tournament. Whether he keeps the title or not, his next scheduled match will be April 12--in a real city, Chicago, Illinois--against Jon Moxley. I'm excited.

I think everybody was expecting El Desperado to bring the junior title to this match. Instead Sho defeated him on February 23, when Ren Narita crawled out from under the ring to hold Despy down until he was counted out. I'm actually okay with the idea that titles can change hands via count-out, but obviously the point of such a rule should be "the champion can't run away" not "we can do more flavors of fuck finishes." I know it's supposed to put heat on Sho, but it just cheapens the title win, the title itself, and this match.

Look, I appreciate that House of Torture's shenanigans are aimed at the Japanese ticketholders. If they boo and chant "go home" at the heels, that's enough to call it a success, apparently. New Japan really doesn't care if I, an American streaming these shows overseas, am bored with this crap. I'm not their priority, that's their prerogative.

But I can't believe anybody, in Japan or elsewhere, wants to pay to see Naito pretend to be in danger of taking the biggest bullshit upset loss of his career. We know Naito will win, we know none of the run-ins are going to lead to the finish, we know if they tease a count-out Naito will get back in the ring at nineteen. I could deal with all that if it was entertaining, like when Toru Yano does it. But Sho's actively trying not to be entertaining.

This is going to suck. Listening to Chris Charlton act like he's "pulling back the curtain" to explain why it sucks, for the whole match, will make it even worse.

I think I've talked myself into skipping this. Anyway, Naito has to win. Stay healthy for Mox, champ.

Shota Umino vs. Jack Perry - This is a part of the first round in the New Japan Cup tournament. Perry debuted with New Japan on January 13, when he appeared in the crowd disguised as a fan and attacked Umino out of nowhere.

This is Perry's first match since he lost the FTW belt to HOOK in Wembley Stadium. About five minutes after that, he had a backstage face-off with CM Punk, which led to Punk being fired and Perry being suspended. I guess they weren't sure how to bring Perry back without making it about Punk, so he's doing this New Japan run where he can talk about being a "scapegoat" without getting into who is assigning blame to him, or for what, or why it's not really his fault.

I figured they'd set up a singles match for this feud, but I didn't expect it to be in the opening round of this tournament. I'm curious to see if Perry is just flying in for a one-and-done, or if he'll stick around for the whole tour. I don't see him booked for any undercard tag matches, which suggests he'll just lose here and head home. But I suppose there's a chance he'll stick around.

If Jack wins, I'd say he's the favorite to reach the quarterfinals, probably in a Forbidden Door rematch against SANADA. That could be pretty damn interesting...but we're getting ahead of ourselves here. It's just too early to try to guess where things are going with Perry's scapegoat gimmick. He needs a win, but I'm not confident he's going to get one tonight.

KENTA vs. YOSHI-HASHI - Another first-round match in the New Japan Cup. The winner of this match will face Sanada on March 11 in the second round, since (as a former New Japan Cup winner) he qualified for a first-round bye. Kenta is 4-0 in singles matches against Yoshi.

Yoshi's career highlight is being a 3-time IWGP heavyweight tag champion, but he and Hirooki Goto lost that title in January. Kenta and Chase Owens are the current tag champs. So this is really less about who advances in the tournament (neither of them are going to get far) and whether Yoshi can pin Kenta to get back into contention for the tag title. If Kenta wins, though, I'd say that puts Yoshi and Goto in the back of the line...which could be interesting, because there aren't a ton of other teams to put ahead of them.

I get the feeling Kenta will win to make sure Sanada has an expendable heel to beat in the second round. But it's not a lock--I'd go maybe 60/40 Kenta wins here.

Toru Yano vs. Yujiro Takahashi - Yet another New Japan Cup match. The winner here will meet the winner of Umino vs. Perry in the second round, on March 11.

When it's one-on-one, Yano is 6-1 against Yuj. But I'm guessing most of those matches were before Yujiro went super-duper mega-cheap heel with the House of Torture. Yano will have his hands full trying to stay ahead of all the House of Torture guys running in, I'm pulling for Yano, but he's definitely beatable here.

SANADA & Taichi & Yuya Uemura & DOUKI vs. EVIL & Ren Narita & Yoshinobu Kanemaru & Dick Togo - This is basically a preview of Taichi vs. Narita on March 10. Sanada, Evil, and Uemura are also in the New Japan Cup. We already saw Just 5 Guys and House of Torture feud back in the fall, and I'm over it. The only new wrinkle here is that I think this is the first time we'll see Uemura since he had to cut his hair after losing to Yota Tsuji a couple of weeks ago. Kanemaru or Togo should probably lose the fall, so maybe Uemura can get back on the winning track.

David Finlay & Gabe Kidd & Gedo vs. TJP & Francesco Akira & Callum Newman - Finlay vs. TJP is scheduled for March 7; Kidd vs. Newman is set for March 8. Finlay's War Dogs pretty much destroyed the United Empire in the big cage match last month, and now they're just facing the three weakest guys in the United Empire. I think TJP is angling to be a bigger wheel in the faction now that Will Ospreay's gone, but I don't really think that's going to work. Finlay's team is gonna murder these poor guys.

Shingo Takagi & Hiromu Takahashi & Yota Tsuji & BUSHI vs. Tomohiro Ishii & Hirooki Goto & El Desperado & Boltin Oleg - The heavyweights in this match--Shingo, Tsuji, Ishii, Goto, and Oleg--are all in the New Japan Cup, but this match doesn't really preview their first-round bouts. We could get Goto vs. Ishii on March 12, but only if Ishii beats Chase Owens on March 7. Oleg is still a Young Lion, so you know he has to lose the fall.

Hikuleo & El Phantasmo vs. Mikey Nicholls & Zack Sabre Jr. - ELP and Hiku are the STRONG tag team champions, but the title isn't at stake here. This match is mainly about previewing Phantasmo vs. Nicholls on March 10. Hikuleo and Sabre are also in the tournament, but in different parts of the bracket. Feels like the best move here is for Nicholls to get a pin to set up a STRONG title shot for him and his regular tag partner, Shane Haste. Actually, I'm kinda surprised Haste isn't on this show.

Jeff Cobb & Great-O-Khan vs. Tanga Loa & Tomoaki Honma - Khan vs. Loa will be on March 7. Cobb is also in the tournament. Honma didn't make the cut, which kind of tells you who's losing the fall in this match.

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

[sylvies-chen]

From one bisexual disaster to another, going to try to make you smile with this ask:

Rank the characters of PD and/or the main characters of Fire (your choice of who!) from most attractive to attractive (cause let’s be honest, they’re all 🔥)

AHHH, what happened to bi disaster solidarity? This is going to be torture!! You’ve definitely made me smile though, I love an excuse to look at pictures of the hottest casts out there 👀🥵 This list will not be objective at all, but rather about my personal taste. Anyway, this is my destiny as a bisexual lol. Enjoy :)

Chicago PD list:

Kevin Atwater: LISTEN. This man is Fine with a capital F! He’s everything to me, from the arms to the colourful shirts to the eyes, he’s just 10/10. My tag for Kevin is #that’s my mannnn‼️ which is telling enough.

Hailey Upton: as a bisexual, it is my civic duty to love Tracy Spiridakos. That’s just a fact! I know Hailey’s straight but her tomboy style and abundance of flannel is just amazing. She’s the kind of hot that’s almost intimidating, like a hey mamas lesbian or a male model

Kim Burgess: ah my best girl Kim!! Marina is as cute as she is hot and that perfect balance just hits different. Also I’m pretty sure reading @kim-ruzek’s Kim centric WLW fics made me like 20% gayer and that is absolutely because of Kim

Adam Ruzek: I have one word for this one and that is FLANNEL. This man keeps his beard well-maintained, rocks sunglasses, wears constant flannel, and that combo makes me quake in my boots. Oh, and if he called me Darlin? I would absolutely MELT OH FUCK

Jay Halstead: Jay’s attractiveness lies in Jesse’s piercing eyes. Also, THIGH HOLSTER JAY. That is what made me fall in love with him in the first place. Also, and I can’t explain this, but Jesse loves golf and looks EXACTLY like the kind of person who would??? In a hot way?? Anyway, sniper Jay and thigh holster Jay FTW!! (@sylviebrettsey)

Hank Voight: Self-explanatory?? I know some people find him hot but like… not my type lol

Anyway, that’s my ranking for PD which, I’ll be honest with you, was EXTREMELY PAINFUL but fun! I hope no one kills me for this ranking though so before you folks come in my comments lemme just say I think they’re all extremely attractive! Also, I’m saving the Fire characters because I was planning on doing this ridiculously stupid but fun post where I describe what extremely specific type of attractive each character is 😂

[copperbadge]

swords-n-spindles re: oktoberfest pie

German who lived in Munich for 25 years here. Am wheezing in horror at this pie abomination. Also the opinion of locals about the Wiesn (yeah, nobody but tourists says Oktoberfest, sorry) is both "horribly overpriced spectacle for tourists, work makes us go each year, we hate it, make it stop" and "that's OUR party, of course we're going, it's tradition, here are seventeen paragrafs on where to get the best Brathendl".

Oh! So kind of like the Christmas Market in Chicago. “Don’t go, it’s horrible, but if you do there is only ONE CORRECT PLACE to get potato pancakes. Wait, I’d better go with you, I do need to do some holiday shopping.”

thegollux re: dumplings

serious question: what is the benefit to pre-cooking half of the chicken stuffing. this feels like food poisoning waiting to happen.

It’s actually a way of keeping the filling cohesive inside the wrapper while avoiding food poisoning! :D 

So, the thing is, when raw ground meat is boiled or steamed inside a wrapper like this, it coheres into a little meatball inside the wrapper, so it doesn’t just fall apart all over your plate when you bite in. But in order to fully cook ground meat inside a wrapper, you generally have to cook the dumpling until the wrapper is way overcooked, making it gummy or tough. 

There are other solutions, like binding the meat up with egg or a sauce, but they don’t give quite that same texture, and can get difficult to wrap, so the solution is to cook SOME of the meat, so some is already pre-cooked, and leave just enough raw to hold the rest together while it boils/steams. You don’t have to cook as long to be sure the meat is fully cooked through, but you also don’t get the “this turned into a pile of crumbled meat on my plate” issue. 

spaci1701 re: dumplings

I'm very jealous. I've only got a hand cranked pasta roller and it's very challenging to roll sheets by yourself - just not enough hands. The best part of doing your own filled pasta is that you can make all the really weird filling combos you want. So far my fave has been Sheppard's pie pierogi.

That sounds amazing! 

Yeah, Mum asked if I was sure I didn’t just want a countertop version, where the same amount of money could buy me a wider roller, and I said that it came down to hands -- if you’re cranking with one hand and feeding with the other, you need a third hand to catch the dough. 

junker5 re: dumplings

Does your mixer have a name? He looks like he has an awesome personality, like DumE orSci’s Calcifer! 😊 The dumplings look amazing.

LOL! No, I never bothered naming him -- I usually only name things if I’m going to be referencing them in conversation with other people, and I never got into the habit of whimsically naming things because in high school I would do that and whatever I had named would break, so I stopped :D 

geekgirl76 re: dumplings

Yum! Side question, how do you like your soda stream? I'm a carbonated water junkie and I'm seriously considering one, even though I have a rule about no appliances that use propriatrary inserts. (though, with the internet, I suppose that's not as big a deal as it used to be, someone, somewhere would either start selling them or create a hack.)

There are definitely adaptors you can buy to hook it up to a non-proprietary CO2 canister, but between the perils of dealing with pressurized canisters and the inconvenience, I’ve never bothered. Sodastream makes it super easy to return your canisters (the only issue right now is supply) so I don’t mind if I’m paying a slight convenience fee for that. Now, that said, you also have to buy proprietary water bottles, some of which aren’t dishwasher-safe, and you’re supposed to replace them every 2-3 years, and those aren’t cheap, so bear that in mind. (If you want the machine washable ones, you have to buy a specific type that only fit a certain number of the machines, so do your homework before buying.) 

I do like my sodastream -- that’s their cheapo version and I’ve had it for 10 years, which tells you something about its durability. Especially if you don’t care about flavoring and just want carbonated water, it’s great. The flavor syrups are hit and miss; a lot of them for me have an acrid aftertaste, and again supply right now can be an issue. But the nice thing about having plain carbonated water is you can make your own flavorings. I often make super-concentrated tea and add a shot of that, or just sprinkle Pure Lemon in. 

Anyway yeah -- it’s not the most ideal setup but I do feel like I save a LOT of money and packaging waste with them. 

lionheartmadre re: dumplings

can i just say i love how you gave your mixer a retro fighter plane look? cause that's frikken awesome.

Thanks! I wanted to decorate it up a little and asked Mum for some decals for Christmas one year, and she really came through :D 

katriel-tumbles re: dumplings

Kreplach FTW. I've never had or made them (a tragedy for this Jew) but I get the feeling they're simpler than they seem.

The dough is a little tricky, because it’s got eggs in it which makes it sticky, which in turn makes it a little more difficult to work with without making the end product rather tough. But yeah, if you can get round the dough issues it’s not that complex. 

fanmouse re: dumplings

Finland: piirakkaa, India: paratha, both similar to pierogi. (I am facinated by how similar the words are in the different language families.) Good luck!

Pierogi was on the list, but good reminder about paratha and I’d never encountered piirakkaa! I’ll look it up :D 

[gallavictorious]

11x01 Reaction Post

Random thoughts on and reactions to 11x01; no careful analysis or anything, just the bits and pieces that's not likely to make it into meta proper but which I still want to make note of so I can go back later and remember what my initial reaction to the episode was (since my impressions are likely to change as the season unfolds). Mostly Gallavich related, because duh, but there's disordered rambling on a bit of everything. Under a cut (God I miss LJ sometimes) because this got long.

Ian looks damned good as the homocidal muscle. I don't do AU:s, but if I did... On the other hand, Frank as a member of the Chicago “Eight” looks like a werewolf. Less interested in that AU. And listen, I get that they couldn't get Emmy Rossum for this, but I really miss Fiona showing up in a few random olden day pictures. She's gone, but she's still a Gallagher dammit! Carl at the slaughter house looked weird – and part of me thought that was appropriate because slightly off editing would be a sweet way of communicating that it's all bollocks, but the rest of shots looked okay (Debbie as a milk maid and Frank as the aforementioned werewolf) or good (everything else) so no.

The sound of a baby crying is a horror matched only by persistent lack of sleep so I feel for Lip and Tami so much. Here's to all parents who managed to get through the first year without murdering anybody! I think that maybe you don't get enough credit... I, for instance, want to kill someone just hearing Freddie cry in the background for half a minute. Not sure it bodes too well for their relationship for them to be so ready to spend every night apart like Lip suggests, but a, what wouldn't you do for a good night's sleep, and b, love the thought of Lip spending more time at the old house. Could see them breaking up during the course of the season, though. Not sure how I feel about that – Tami's my favourite out of Lip's love interests, but having too many of the couples staying together all through the finale wouldn't feel quite right (for Shameless) and I don't see them breaking up Ian and Mickey or Kev and V. Don't really expect Sandy or Debbie to last either, but since it's more of a casual thing it might have more of a casual end.

Do you remember when the promo dropped and there was Concern about That Look on Ian's face after he kisses Mickey, and I tag theorized about it being because Mickey stole his coffee? Turns out there wasn't really A Look in the actual episode, but I sure as hell was right about the coffee, and I want noted somewhere. Maybe there should also be a small diploma? A golden statue seems a little over the top, but I mean, if you insist...

I appreciate that Ian is very adament about it being their money but when Mickey thinks it's their breakfast it's suddenly every man for himself. Do you share or not, Ian? Hmm? (Let the record show that I'm joking, please. Ian is damned right to take his toast back, and I say this as a “person most likely to steal their partner's toast right out of their hand”. I also love that Mickey completely gives up on breakfast when he can't have Ian's toast and just grabs a beer instead.) The kitchen scene is glorious and I just really like their dynamic here; the casual kiss, “I only make breakfast for husbands who have jobs”, how relaxed it is even when Ian's a bit annoyed, Mickey being so... Mickey. I do wonder what went through his head when Ian started talking about their wedding present money, though – he seems worried for a moment, but then shrugs it off, and that could be either bravado or just actual lack of concern. I tend mostly towards the latter, since Mickey quite genuinely figures this isn't a big deal (even though he still recognizes that Ian will probably think it one). Please note that he immediately offers to get money when Ian mentions that they need more of it coming in. Not his fault Ian vetoes his methods, right? (Also love that Ian's objection is due to him not wanting to be separated from Mickey, rather than any moral qualms about robbing stores.)

Okay, the gag ball. Would they really keep it like that if they were actually using it? Maybe either of them just tossed it there after taking it off, I suppose... Yeah, I don't know. Not what I'd imagined them being into, but that might be my own extreme lack of enthusiasm for gag balls and harnesses talking. Either they're into it and if so, you do you, boys, or it was a gift and they're keeping it around and semi-prominently on display for shits and giggles. (But if it was a gift, they did try it at least once, right?)

Mickey in the bath remains stupidly and surprisingly gorgerous. Incidentally, I really don't think his question about the meds is any indication of him not thinking them important, but there's little wonder that Ian bristles at the mention of them. Maybe not be an ass just to prove a point, eh, Mick?

I've already talked about how hard Ian is trying here but let's just take another moment to congratulate our boy on his persistent attempts at mature communication. Though he might have given some actual consideration to Mickey not wanting to save the money if he's really serious about them making decisions together... But he gets there! I think this whole situation – which would royally piss most people, including me, off – is actually particularly difficult for Ian, because he might well see Mickey's behavior as uncomfortably reminiscent of Frank and Monica's destructive habits and yeah, that would fuck him up. And still! He forces himself to calm down! He takes Mickey's hand! He refuses to let himself be distracted by Mickey looking SO INSANELY PRETTY I CANNOT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT! Ian, I salute you!

[starwars_eu_nerd_mode]KORRIBAN! YES! HA! TAKE THAT DISNEY! You take your new so-called “canon” and your “Moraband” and you fuck right off. I salute you, Bitcoin Boy![/starwars_eu_nerd_mode]

Ah, the porch scene... This one I do have a bunch of thoughs on that will probably make it into meta proper one day, so I'll leave it for now. It was the one that took the most thinking about for me to square (still not a lot, it should be noted), but now I'm actually very happy about it. (Full disclosure: none of their scenes feel quite right the first time I see them these days, because I'm just so very on edge about what's to come that I kind of miss the forest for all the trees you know? It's not a Shameless thing – it's always like this when I'm extremely invested in something and have waited for it for some time. Will it fit with how I see the characters? Will it be cringey? Will Mickey suddenly profess a love for hideous Hawaii shirts? Also, what are they saying because English is hard... But then I watch them a couple of times and they sink in and I start to get giddy over them. I guess watching actual canon unfold always requires a little bit of re-calibration if you've been busy fanoning while waiting for it to arrive, and while I love that sort of interpretative work, there’s also the fear that the show will veer off into a direction I cannot easily follow.)

Mickey's insistence that he spelled monogamy wrong does genuinely amuse me. Not to mention the whole “No more parking tickets for me!” - “You don't have a car, dumbass.” Also, Mickey being friendly with Carl kills me, in a good way. Family FTW!

Frank's storyline fails to stir even the vaguest hint of interest in me, as per usual. For all his talk of family in this episode, the lack of interaction with any of his kids is striking. If he's to have any value at all this season I'll need him to get involved in the rest of the Gallagher's storylines (which seems like it might be happening at least for a bit later on, so I'm vaguely hopeful?). I find but faint intrigue in Carl's and Debbie's stuff, but it doesn’t annoy me either so I'll call it a win. Kev and V are (almost) always a delight, but do anyone else feel like their kids are only props, even to them? I don't know... I just don't think there's a connection or sense of realness to their relationship, you know? Maybe it's just me... Anyway, here's to hoping V turning pageant mom changes all that! Oh, and I'll need Liam to have some more screentime and stuff to do.

The Tommy and Kermit thing was weird. Eh. Whatever.

Sandy is so gorgerous. I can't. The Milkoviches really be bringing it this episode.

This is only the second season I've watched episode by episode as it airs (other one was S6) and it's a curiuos experience. I think that by and large, and particularly in later seasons, Shameless works better when you binge it, but I love the delightful anticipation of waiting for a new episode and the feverent discussion that follows. Sometimes I also despair over the ferverent discussion that follows, but... you know. It is what it is. Admittedly, any attempts at meta this early in the season is a precarious venture at best, since we don't have the whole story, and it might be wiser to abstain but it's just so much fun, so I'm not very likely to stop.

All in all, I love the Gallavich stuff, am intrigued by Lip & Tami and Kev & V's lives, okay with whatever Debbie and Carl's got going on, hot for Sandy, bored by Frank, and missing Liam. It sets up a lot of promising things, but as an episode all unto itself it felt a bit empty – probably because there were no real plots and the storylines didn't intersect as much as I would have liked them to. Shameless is best when it's about family, which both the show and Frank seems to recognize, but there's little narrative follow-through on that realization in this episode; everyone is pretty much doing their own thing. Adored the Lip and Ian convo, and that house party scene was wonderful, but so short. Think we'll get more of all of them together going forward, though, and more actual plots too, so I'm very excited about it all. Can't wait for Sunday!

[amiwritesthings]

Fic Writer Questions

thanks to @venhedish for the tag, this actually got me thinking on a few things lmao

1 ) How many works do you have on AO3?

currently 17, will probably add no 18 tonight. there’s also a bunch only published on ff.net (from when i wasn’t on AO3 yet) and yet another motherload of self-indulgent shit rotting on my hard drive.

2 ) What’s your total AO3 word count?

80781 words, about 60k of that from this year alone. i took a major break from writing 2010ish and really just got back into it during quarantine last year.

3 ) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

7 on AO3. Supernatural, The Last Ship, Walker 2021, Men’s Hockey RPF, TVD, Graceland, Chicago Fire. for purposes of saving myself the embarrassment, we’ll limit this answer to just the AO3 stuff. 😂

4 ) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ooooh boy, maybe a little embarrassment after all.

A Trip to the South (TVD)

hey lookie, my incest glorifying days did not actually start with SPN lol. Salvatore brothers feeding together, blood sharing and enjoying it. I blame this being at the top solely on the fact that it’s been up since 2013 because it’s really nothing special.

when i dream (I’m doing you all night) (SPN)

Collection of (mostly smutty) deanjohn Tumblr prompts, i can blame most of those on other people lmao

Holding on (until it’s over) (Graceland)

Episode Tag to 1x10, Johnny/Briggs because even then i was obsessed with manny montana and i refuse to apologize for it.

11:59 (Men’s Hockey RPF)

Sean Avery/Henrik Lundqvist Hooker!AU, and yeah that’s pretty much it.

even whiskey can’t do (what you do when you kiss me that way)

OG Stanford Era deanjohn first time smut, my first foray into SPN fics.

5 ) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

YES, i try to respond to all comments. sometimes RL gets in the way but as a rule i try to always respond. i love getting comments so i feel like appreciating the time the commenter took to bring me this joy. ♥️

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

boy, this is a hard one. I’m not all that good with writing angst but i guess if I had to pick something i’d say don’t give up now (there’s already so much at stake), mostly because of the character’s frame of mind in general and the impending threat of invading a foreign country to overthrow a dictator the next day while being mentally wrecked.

7 ) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i’m not against it but i’ve never actually done it.

8 ) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that I recall. but i guess it wouldn’t be the worst thing, i struggle way more with getting no feedback at all.

9 ) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

do i? DO I? yeah, i do. usually the kind the story requires which can range from soft to awkward to plain filthy. also whatever kind the kinky anons drop in my inbox, i’m trying to keep an open mind.

10 ) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of. I don’t really operate in the super popular corners of the fandoms i’m in so i don’t think anyone feels the need to. it’d be pretty obvious to all the 10-20 people who are into that shit anyway lol

11 ) Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not really running in the popular corners of fandom (rare pairs ftw) so imma say no. I could probably translate them myself but writing in my first language is fuckin awkward so no thank you.

12 ) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I’m a pretty solitary writer. I do love to come play in other writer’s ‘verses though if they don’t mind. i have written a few things in @vintagedean ‘s married!vibes for example (thanks for letting me play, dude!)

13 ) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

jeez, i don’t know. i’ve never really stuck with just one fandom, i’m a notorious multi-fandom multi-shipper. i’m the kind of person who watches eps of 4 different shows in one day and yells at the tv about all of them.

14 ) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

we make a long way from easy lovin‘ look good, baby. i was honestly so invested in this project but then they completely torpedoed this pairing in canon in the worst possible way and i kinda lost the drive to keep writing. i have posted it to my graveyard collection of unfinished stuff for now but i don’t think i will finish it, sadly.

15 ) What are your writing strengths?

creating emotions, hitting you in the feels, or so I’ve been told. i like to think that (given that English is not my first language) just reaching the kind of level i’m at now can be considered a strength.

16 ) What are your writing weaknesses?

run-on sentences, endless run-on sentences. they serve a purpose SOMETIMES but mostly it’s just me and my rambly writing style. and repetition. i have actually started searching my writing docs for specific phrases while editing to catch most of them and rephrase. not being able to include just a bit of angst without it turning into an existential crisis for the character and me. and the worst thing I keep doing that i’m not able to stop is writing shit out of order. i start with the beginning, then some idea for the middle pops up, then I write the end and then I have to somehow weave it all together, it’s so inconvenient and annoying.

17 ) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i speak a few languages (or you know, at least can understand/write/read them) so as long as i’m sure that it’s correct and it fits the story, I’m all for it!! language kink ftw.

18 ) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

it was either music or hockey rpf, i’m not even sure anymore at this point, that was like 20 years ago. nothing that ever got published anywhere lol

19 ) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

my name engraved on your heart, hands down. that is my beloved, my baby, the project nearest and dearest to my heart. i can actually read this and enjoy it without nitpicking my own writing at every turn and i’m just so happy with the overall vibe of it. it’s like a niche in a niche of a fandom thing though, so i get that it doesn’t resonate as strongly with others as it does with me but it is my favorite of favorites.

honorable mention to the house don’t fall (when the bones are good), though, because it’s what got me back into writing and it was my biggest (published) project and that fix-it needed to be written.

i think all my fellow fic writer mutuals have already been tagged in this, so i'm not gonna add y'all again but feel free to steal if this strikes your fancy.

[itstayves]

hey guys!

im accompanying my parents on a long-ish visit to India (we're all vaccinated now!), so will be on a semi hiatus depending upon wifi availability and my willingness to get up and watch games at 5 am

honestly don't think much will change (I enjoy waking up early) but idk. have fun anyway! chicago icehogs ftw!!

[khaleesiofalicante]

If you made a Netflix series, what would it be about?

Oh I already have a story. It will be a crime drama of course.

It's about three duos - living in three different countries/continents.

Alice & Aidan - A mother and son from one of the wealthiest families in Shanghai. (I want Michelle Yeoh and Harry Shum jr to play these two cause goals)

Jay & Thomas - A retired detective from Chicago and rookie detective from Georgia teaming up solve a mysterious case. (Sterling K Brown & Darren Criss ftw)

Peter & Arya - Two strangers bumping into each other in Venice and "accidentally" getting into trouble. (Chris Evans & and some actress I haven't casted yet)

The story is basically about the journey of these three duos and how their actions keep affecting each other's stories.

Anyways, when is Netflix gonna call me smh?

[buttdawg]

All Out 2020 Predictions

Just gonna run down the card here, because I keep forgetting what’s on this show, and it is stacked.    

Side note: Looking this up on Wikipedia made me sad, because the article points out that the show was originally planned for a whole other venue before the pandemic started.  I had gotten so used to every AEW show being held in Jacksonville, that I had forgotten the good old days, when they could run every show in Chicago.

Casino Battle Royale, winner gets a shot at the AEW title

I thought they gave up on this stip when they did the Casino Ladder Match at Double-or-Nothing.   Here’s a dumb thought: Ditch the casino nonsense.   The last two casino battle royals were kind of dumb, because they sent out five guys at a time, and then the 21st guy got to come out last by himself.   The problem I had was that I had no idea who half the participants were, and sending them out in fives made it that much harder to keep track.  

Anyway, this time around it’s easier to just list them by faction.    We have

Eddie Kingston’s group (Eddie, Butcher, Blade, Pentagon Jr., and Rey Fenix)

Team Taz (Absolute Ricky Starks and DA MACHEEN Brian Cage, who is also the FTW World’s Heavyweight Champion of the World, Excalibur)

Gunn Club (Billy Gunn and Austin Gunn)

The Inner Circle (Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz)

Best Friends (Chuck Taylor and Trent)

Lance Archer

Darby Allin

Wait that’s only 16 guys.   You know, it’s been a long time since I learned the rules to Blackjack, but I think that’s about where you want to stand pat.    If you take another card, you’re much more likely to go over 21.    Anyway, I hope Warhorse ends up in this match somehow.   I guess I’ll pick Eddie Kingson to win, since he’s got the most guys helping him.  

No, wait, fuck all of that shit.   Lance Archer wins everything.    Call this Casino Battle Royale a George R. R. Martin novel, because Everybody Fucking Dies.

The Dark Order (Brodie Lee, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Colt Cabana) vs. Scorpio Sky, Matt Cardona, Dustin Rhodes, & QT Marshall.  

This is like the Dark Order vs. the Dark Order Revenge Squad, trying to make Brodie pay for beating the shit out of Cody.   I saw a video package for this on Dynamite yesterday, and it was fucking stupid, because they wanted me to believe that the good guy team are “four badasses”, even though one of them is QT Marshall for crying out loud.   They do this horseshit all the time, where a group of babyfaces try to gang up on the Dark Order, but it never works because the faces never bring enough guys.   There’s like eight or nine dudes in the Dark Order, so unless your team has ten or eleven, you’re gonna get your asses kicked.    Brodie killed Cody like he was nothing, so why am I supposed to believe Dustin has a chance in hell?  

The last time Scorpio Sky was on one of these anti-DO posse teams, it was with Colt Cabana and his partners in SCU.    Well, Colt ended up switching sides, and apparently Chris Daniels and Kazarian aren’t even booked, so that tells me what I need to know.     Dark Order wins.  

Britt Baker vs. Swole in a Tooth and Nail Match.

I don’t know if “Tooth and Nail” is an actual stipulation, or if they’re just calling it that for promotional purposes.  I wish they’d spell out the rules to these things instead of just calling out the names of matches like catchphrases.   Swole would look pretty dumb if she loses this, so I’m picking her to win.  

Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara  in a “Broken Rules” Match.

Wikipedia says this is a Last Man Standing match, so maybe they should have just called it that?  I mean, less than a month ago Matt claimed that he was ditching all his characters for the duration of the pandemic, and now he’s right back to chanting “Delete!” like nothing changed.   I heard a lot about Matt’s cinematic universe run in Impact, but so far I’m not overly impressed with his run in AEW.   He just makes a bunch of callbacks to stuff he did in WWE, Impact, and ROH like I’m supposed to know or give a shit about that time he was a douchebag.     If Matt loses, he’s supposed to leave AEW, but I’m pretty sure this is a trick, and he’ll just come back as “Leviticus” and pretend to be a robot from outer space.   I don’t think I care who wins.

Jurassic Express vs. The Young Bucks.

Why are these guys fighting?    I feel like they already did on TV?    I’m gonna pull for JE to win this one.    I think the Bucks might be my favorite act in AEW, but I mostly enjoy seeing them get the shit beat out of them.    Yeah, kill the Young Bucks.   

Chris Jericho vs. Orange Cassidy in a Mimosa Mayhem Match.

You can win Mimosa Mayhem by pinfall, submission, or dumping your opponent into a big tank of mimosa.    I guess this is a way for OC to win their feud without actually pinning Jericho twice?    Alternately, the loser can get pinned, only to dump the winner in the tank to get a moral victory.    I’ll go with Orange to win.  

AEW Tag Team Championship: Kenny Omega/Hangman vs. FTR

Now that they finally kicked Hangman out of the Elite, and FTR has finally stopped pretending not to be heels, and now that Kenny Omega finally seems to give a shit about his tag team, I think this program could finally lead to something cool.    I sort of want FTR to win, just to move the Hangman/Omega angle onto the next stage.     If the tag titles are the only thing keeping that team together than we need to see what happens without them.  

Also, I want FTR to defend the titles against Santana and Ortiz.    Yeah, no offense to Omega and Hangman, but fuck this Elite Drama Bullshit, gimme FTR vs. PnP.

AEW Women’s Championship: Hikaru Shida vs. Thunder Rosa.

Fuck yeah, this is the real main event right here.    Thunder Rosa kicks ass, and now she can show her stuff without the nonsensical soap opera booking found in the NWA women’s division.   The last time I saw Thunder Rosa in NWA, Melina had inexplicably declared that she had a title match against Rosa, but when the match actually happened, Melina just rolled out of the ring and took a countout.    Seeing Eddie Kingston, Ricky Starks, and Thunder Rosa has opened my eyes to a lot of problems in NWA.

Anyway, here’s the AEW storyline for Thunder Rosa: Shida wanted competition, and Thunder Rosa showed up to kick her ass and take her belt.   I suspect Shida’s going to win, because Rosa’s NWA title isn’t on the line, but I’m rooting for Thunder Rosa to become the double champ.  

AEW Men’s Championship: Jon Moxley vs. MJF.

I want Moxley to win, although I’m not 100% sure this isn’t MJF’s time.   It feels too soon, but I didn’t think Moxley would win the title from Jericho back in February either.   Also, if Moxley loses the title, it might make it easier for AEW and NJPW to open the Forbidden Door long enough for him to defend the IWGP U.S. title against KENTA.    Is that worth putting the world title on MJF?   Probably not, but it’s fun to think about.  

I don’t understand this feud at all, because MJF has been “campaigning” for a world title shot, even though he’s the #1 contender and he’s undefeated, so I’m pretty sure he could just request the match and he’s all set.    MJF has also successfully lobbied to have Moxley’s finisher banned from their match, but what if Mox uses it anyway?   They’d just disqualify him and he’d retain the title, right?    Or maybe the ref would just stand there and let him do it anyway, because that seems to be how AEW referees do things.   

I really don’t get why MJF wanted the Paradigm Shift banned.   He got hit with one like two weeks ago, and he acted like it half-crippled him, but then he revealed it didn’t hurt him that badly, so why does he care if he takes another one?  MJF also seems to have this thing going on where he pretends to be this high-road-taking “pure wrestler”, who can out-finesse Moxley’s brawling style, but we’ve seen MJF just go apeshit and use hardcore tactics himself.  

This is kind of an aside, but I find it funny when Jim Cornette acts surprised when people accuse him of playing a character on his podcasts.   He’ll be like “No, no, you don’t understand, I really hate Vince Russo and Kenny Omega and I want them both dead for not respecting kayfabe!”    The thing is, wrestlers like MJF and FTR are out here repeating a lot of Cornette’s talking points on TV, specifically to get heel heat.   They praise themselves for being workhorses who stick to the fundamentals, but they’re hypocrites who use gamesmanship and trickery to get ahead.    So people hear Cornette blowing a gasket about Joey Janela and they just assume he’s being some sort of cartoonish supervillain character to sell his merch, because the alternative is too absurd to contemplate.    It’d be like MJF assuring people that he really does bloody people up with his diamond ring in real life, just like he does on TV.   

Anyway, I’ll stick with Moxley, but if MJF wins, I’ll be more intrigued than disappointed...

[skeleton-richard]

I’m loving the tabloid drama fic and I can’t wait for the hardcore snuggling next chapter lol. Also, Chicago ftw? Anyway keep up the great work, i check for updates on this every morning bc I’m enjoying it so much :^)

Sorry I’m just getting to this now but aaaaahhhh Dani you are the sweetest!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it and following it so closely omg. And yes, Chicago! You’re the second person to catch that! Chicago is the best and of course Richard would live there. 

I’m trying to finish it before school starts next week, so I’ll try!

[colleensheadspace]

I know, it’s been FOREVER since I posted anything! Kinshasa’s lousy internet really killed my online routines. Anyway, I’m solidly back in the USA, completely moved into my new house, and this spring I’m leaping back into fandom with gusto. I’ve joined a local Star Wars collectors’ club (DCSWCC ftw!) and I’m attending the Celebration in Chicago in a couple of weeks. This combo has jumpstartedcmy fangirl energy, and I’m hoping to keep it going after the convention.

I also now have a functional craft room set up with a Cricut, an awesome wide format printer, and a sewing cabinet. So there should be some crafting ahead! Speaking of which, the attached images are button pin designs I’ve ordered to give out as swag during the SW Celebration. So if any of you are there, keep an eye out for me.

[maggiejulienne]

I do exist!

Hey, The Internet.

The last few months have been . . . a lot. I am not the same person I was in 2016 and I am so happy about it.

Getting back into therapy is the singular best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. In the last nine months, I was taught the terms “gaslighting” and “narcissistic abuse” and made the hardest decision of my life to GTFO of an abusive relationship I had been in since 2010, that had defined my life, my career, my choices pretty much every single day.

In doing so, I made the decision to put myself as a human before myself as an artist, something that had never, ever occurred to me before. I felt that by taking that risk, there was a good chance I would be sacrificing my career. 

Since then, I 

- Finished my first pilot, which got me a meeting at Comedy Central, and subsequently have written the next two episodes and half each of the four after that (things kept getting in the way because I also . . . )

- had a residency at the Drama League (the same one the same year as Duncan Shiek whaaaat) where I wrote a play in three days of which I am SO proud.

- Found a new writing partner, have created tons of new content with HER (female composers FTW!), including starting on a musical called “Mina and the Monster,” a 7-person actor musician project that I get to star in!

- Was hired to adapt “Princess Ten Ten and the Dark Skies” for the Guardian Princess Alliance, which I just got to Skype in for the first table-read of earlier today! It is described as the first original musical presented by University of California Riverside as well as “the first musical featuring a pan-Asian gender non-conforming superheroine princess” and yes you read all of that correctly.

- Was hired by my favorite Bway/N’tl tour AD/director who I worked with last year and liked me and my work enough to call me up and get me a job adapting the middle grade novel “Invincible” with a very talented composer from Yale who actually cast my godbrother in a play there! It is ALSO about princesses (living the DREAAAM) and also not your typical princess - this one is wheelchair-bound and learning more about herself through therapeutic horseback riding yes you read all that correctly as well.

- Danced in a short film which I had written lyrics to three songs for, making it the first film project my little sister and I were in together! It was a ton a ton of fun.

- Was made Director of New Work for The Harpers Theatre

- Finished a second pilot in time to submit it to a women NYC TV competition - jury is out but I was proud of getting it in and writing my first TV Bible and finally getting to collaborate with my BRILLIANT artist cousin who did the concept art for it!

- Finished a rewrite of my screenplay, got a great potential director 100% on board, had a budget drawn up, and got the FIRE in my soul to GET. IT. DONE.

- Got a call from a Broadway-vet actor now director who had worked with me in 2015 and I haven’t seen him since saying that he has a new manager in LA who wants him to direct another movie musical and asked me to write the screenplay

- Started working with the current music director/onstage pianist of the West End and now National Tour of Fiasco’s Into the Woods as my composer on a new musical that is just in its nascent stage so shhhhh ;)

- Got hired to restructure/write a summary of a musical I was briefly a dramaturge on this summer

- Just did some paid spec work for a project that I will either get or I will lose because I stood up for myself and my worth as a writer so honestly I am equally proud of myself either way :)

- And more that I’m sure I’m forgetting, because as you can tell, I have been a busy busy busy little bee

But MUCH more importantly, I 

- Got a LOT of my confidence back as a singer/performer. It’s still a process, but boy howdy was this a huge leap forward

- Went to the National Eating Disorders Association Conference in Chicago, where I met beautiful amazing brilliant inspiring women and artists whose empathy and insight I will cherish for the rest of my life

- a side-effect of which is that I stayed with a friend in Boston whom I hadn’t seen in a good five or so years and didn’t even realize how much I had missed

- Got a MUTHA’UCKIN TATTOO that is DOPE AF and I love it and her name is Rattattooie and she helps me remember to love my body

- Went vegan and started learning to cook, which makes me feel more self-sufficient and it’s nice

- Finally confronted my body dysmorphia/confidence issues after years of anger at myself for not having enough feminist chutzpah to magically just will them away. But I couldn’t. And CBT kicked my butt into gear with enough tools to give me body peace, but even MORE astoundingly -

- CBT diminished my skin-picking enough that for the last WEEK or so the urges have been almost NON-EXISTENT. I don’t even know how it’s possible. Dermatillomania has been a huge inescapable part of my life for the past decade and I barely remember what it was like to live without it. I’m so so fortunate that my mom made me believe that I deserved to tackle this problem, which was the trigger for EVERYTHING else falling into place, and that my parents were able to afford this ridiculously expensive incredibly specialized treatment for a problem that used to take up, I kid you not, upwards of 40 minutes to an hour EVERY DAY and now takes up maybe five minutes maximum and steadily diminishes every day

*Angelica Schuyler voice* Anyway all this to say . . . 

I have no regrets. Not from the last six years, and DEFINITELY not from the last ten months. Most days I feel like pinching myself because I can’t even believe how happy and healthy I feel. There are CERTAINLY bad moments and bad days, but they are so so outshone by all of the good ones :)

So that’s where things are now. We’ll see how it goes. We’ll see which projects go forward and which ones fall through, but I know now that my worth is an intrinsic thing, and not based on which jobs I land and which ones I don’t. My friends are incredible incredible people and I am now only keeping around those who make me feel better about myself and not worse, which I am pleased to say that upon close examination, is literally almost every. single. person. with whom I associate. I love them I love them I love them. 

So here we go. If this is how the first quarter of the year is going, I am very very excited to see (and CREATE!) all that is to follow.

[copperbadge]

justgot1 replied to your post “Sorry I missed stream last night guys! I honestly lay down on the bed...”

Hard same. Every sneeze or throat tickle, I’m like IS THIS IT??? it’s exhausting. I’m the opposite re: food in time of stress though: comfort eating ftw! I’m curious what you planned for if you got sick - I should do this but I’m not sure how.

It’s something I thought a lot about after the concussion, when I made a series of decisions not all of which were wise. Granted I was concussed, but given the way covid works, I expect that if I need to seek medical care I will potentially have a very high fever, so it may be much the same. 

Essentially it’s a series of actions I can take now and decisions I know how to make later. Behind the cut for length. I have an ask about what to do if my parents get sick, I’ll answer that one as well separately but it may be a few hours, I have work deadlines looming. 

1. I bathe every day and put on clothes I’d be willing to wear in public. I did not shower before I went to the doctor for my concussion and I had time and should have, not because I smelled or anything but because I was so horribly uncomfortable having dirty hair. It actually made the experience markedly worse and made it harder to make other decisions because all I wanted was to go home and be clean. I was also in a hoodie that could have been cleaner. So I make sure that even if I’m not going out, I shower every morning and dress before starting work. 

2. Emergency go-bag. I have a regular go-bag for if shit gets real and I have to leave Chicago; this isn’t that -- that is bulkier and has a bunch of shit I wouldn’t need in it (first aid kit, water carafe, knife, etc). This is a small messenger bag with what I would need for medical admission and a potential hospital stay. It has valid ID, credit card, medical insurance card, spare cord and battery for my phone, headphones, keys, and a pair of socks (because why not). In some cases you may want to include spare medication, a comb or brush if you have long hair, and a fidget or small comfort object.  

3. Updated "ICE” (In Case of Emergency) information in my phone. I have a contact in my phone called “ICE”, which EMTs know to look for, which tells them how to reach my parents and an in-town contact, gives my blood type and meds, and says where my medical treatment has been. I’ve updated it to include pulmonary health information relevant to covid.

4. In their book Decisive, which was world-changing for me and I recommend to everyone, Chip and Dan Heath talk about “tripwire” moments -- things that happen that trigger a decision you’ve already made. So I came up with a couple of tripwires. None of these have happened yet, I’m just ready if they do. 

If I am feeling sick in any way, I check my temperature. I do this daily anyway, but if I feel sick I do it again to ease my concern, and that way I also know about what my average is. 

If I am coughing or have a fever, I run through the symptoms of covid again to see how many I fit. You’d be shocked what you don’t notice about your body until you check a symptoms list. But those are the trigger points: cough or fever.  

If I am identifiably sick, I immediately tell my parents and my in-town contact (who has been in proximity to me so needs to know anyway). I start taking the Dayquil in the cupboard (there may be better meds but Dayquil is my go-to for unrelated health reasons). If I’m feeling sick but not “shit I’m in trouble” sick, and my fever is not over 101, I wait and see. 

If I start to feel very sick, spike a temp over 101 after taking acetominaphin, and/or have trouble breathing, I go straight to 911. I do as I’m told by them as long as it will get me medical attention (I have a whole other plan in place for if I’m denied medical attention but I don’t think that’s likely to happen). I grab my go bag. I have a plan for alternately 1) getting EMTs into the building or 2) getting myself downstairs, depending on what they prefer. As soon as I can, I text my parents to let them know; they know to call my in-town contact to ask her to look after the cats. If I can’t do this, the EMTs will find my ICE contact and do it for me. Since my contact knows I’m sick because I told her in the previous tripwire, she’ll know to be super duper careful entering my home. My parents know that I want them to STAY THE FUCK PUT and not come to Chicago if I’m sick. 

From there I’m in the hands of fate and the medical community. But at least I know that I have a path from here to there which has very little room for dithering in it; I know what to do and when to do it and I won’t worry about my cats or my family, or the EMTs having incomplete information.