#anyway going crazy about the clip™

[bitter-ishsweet]

what I have in common with the izzy haters is that I love to watch him suffer. I adore watching every single thing he's ever desired crumble to dust. I rejoice when he thinks he's gotten what he wants, only for it to fail in every single way possible. I want him beaten down, and so so destroyed.

what I have in common with the izzy lovers is that I fucking love him.

[auzzzilly96]

Could I learn about your B and James interprets lore 🥺🥺🥺

Errrm well tbh I kinda already said most of the stuff abt my interps the last time I was asked but I guess there r a few more things I could talk abt :3 

Mk sooo more abt B’s whole being way older than he should be thing n more abt what his life was like b4 he got lost in the backrooms. So pretty much he was born in the year 1950 in America around the Texas-Louisiana border[silly goofy projection we will not see more of that later definitely not]. He was pretty poor for most of his life, especially in childhood, but they made it work. He might have had siblings idk, neither does he [boom vague Reagan reference where is my gold sticker/SILLY] He was very close with his mother bc his father wasn’t around a lot, mostly out working bc the whole living in poverty thingg. He actually learned 2 speak japanese b4 he learned english bc that was his mom’s native language so that’s pretty silly :3. Well everything was well and fine for about the next 20 years but then uh oh! B’s mom becomes terribly ill one day and ends up dying a few months later! [how sad] This event is pretty much the catalyst 4 every bad thing that happens in B’s life 4 the next like 50 years. Cuz a bit b4 this he’d found out how to no clip and did it a few times but he was just so distraught in the moment that he just kinda went 2 the backrooms and just walked around 4 so long until he passed out n when he woke up he couldn’t no clip back soo yeah that’s basically his epic backstory yay. On the lighter side this is something I meant 2 explain A WHILE ago but just kinda forgor abt it so sad ik but uhm this dude n his fuck ass jacket omg. Basically his like overcoat thing is like a backrooms artifact n its pockets r basically like tiny little openings 2 an empty pocket [pun not intended] dimensions that just stores stuff n that’s it. As long as something can fit around the opening it can be put in the pocket. That’s y blud was pulling out whole ass water bottles n flashlights from them in my fic [read my fic btw chapter 4 just came out last month] Also this blud is like ADDICTED 2 Almond Water actually………. Like. this guy can’t go 15 milliseconds without a lil sip. Smh this goofy ass guy😔😔[SILLY]…..

Ok now James’s epic backstory yippie 😁😁💥💥!!!!!!! oke so like I already talked abt his sad backstory where he lost his eyes n stuff but ig I'll talk abt what he was like b4 that :3. So basically growing up she was treated as like a child prodigy. Like. VERY good in school. Skipping a couple grades type beat. With her being so “gifted” n all she wasn’t really ever given a chance to be. like. a normal kid. Everything throughout her life up until the “accident” was always just focused on just “being the best at everything™” bc that was the mentality that was instilled upon them by their parents. And oh boy. The parental issue I gave this mf. Unreal. Someone needs 2 lock me up[JOKE]. Bro’s whole life he was constantly told over n over again “work work work study study study get into a good collage be successful be somebody important” nothing but that for like 15 years. Like bro had no friends until the age of 26. shitz crazy[silly]. So like time goes by n he’s successful in school n college n gets his job as a professional chemist. So fun n good she did what she was suppose 2 yippiiee nothing could go possibly wrong!! But then the whole explody eyes go bye bye thing happens [not as fun]. N so now this is the catalyst 4 their suffering yippie <3 [sarc] N it’s kinda ironic bc the reason he ended up being so careless in that moment was bc his upbringing made him so unreasonably confident in his abilities that he disregarded even the most basic of safety protocol. So anyways bro wakes up in the hospital blind, scared, confused and alone. Is told what happened. Is so mortified that she has a meltdown right then n there [things r not off 2 the best start]. Not just over the life long facial disfigurement but also over the fact that they failed. They failed to be the perfect scientific prodigy they were supposed 2 be. N in the process, didn’t just fall themself but failed everyone who ever believed in them[At least that’s what they thought at the time]. Like bro didn’t even get fired he CHOSE 2 resign bc he was so ashamed of himself n what he’d done. a lot of this built up trauma n self resentment is y she’s so attached B n Hashely bc they were rlly like 1st ppl in her life 2 show her any kind of unconditional support or affection. Bc after the accident when she was at her absolute lowest point her parents like just softcore cut her off. Like. she tried multiple times after the fact 2 try n contact them but nothing ever came back so they just stopped trying after a while :( Also kinda related is that I think their hair is like naturally curly but they straighten it bc it being curly reminds them of the past n they HATE being reminded of the past. 

Erm ok kinda ended in a doomer note but erm oh well :33

[buckieduckie]

why i thought michael wheeler was gay before i even knew what stranger things was about - why i decided to watch ST in the first place

ok ok ok so yes i know this sounds crazy and insane and impossoble even. i mean you have to watch a show to know if the characters are gay, right? wrong.

But how'd you even know who mike was before you watched ST?

becauuuseee honeyyyy, ur a kid on the internet, you watch videos on youtube, lots of those will unfortunately be top 10 videos cause ur like 10 or 11 or sum shit. anyways, you see clips from popular shows and medias. some of those are stranger things clips and you get half way familiar with the characters so you know who millie bobby brown is and you know what mikes face looks like.

anyways, this brings me to my next... statement? point? anyways... so yeah, i cant remember what video i was watching or anything, but a clip from stranger things comes up. i knew it was ST cause it was popular and shit n duhhhh. ANYWAYS the clip was El Dumping Mike's Ass ™ and, i cant remember if it was the clip saying it or my own gaydar going off, but i think it was my gaydar, BUT i imeditately clocked mike as gay. i was what.... 6th grade? maybe? at the most.

anyways, i watched mike getting dumped and somehow, someway, i just knew. i just imediately knew. and yknow... part of me thinks it was just the fact that back then because i hadnt watched the show, i was comepletely utterly totally unbiased. like my slate was clean. i knew nothing of anything besides that clip. maybe it is more obvious than we think....

after that i just kinda forgot about it for a couple years untilllll....

OK so then... On to my next point of disgussion.

Why did I start watching Stranger Things?

OK OK OK OK OK SO- okkayy saurrrrrrrrr basically, i have a friend. her name is tina. (thats her nickname ok dw im not like leaking personal info chill) anyways. she sat with me in art last year, and i knew from sitting with her that year and knowing her in the previous years that she was a really big fan of stranger things. sooooooo yeah i sat with her in art and i guess she knew that i hadnt watched stranger things, so like... she realllllyyyyyy wanted me to watch stranger things she was like "omg you should totally watch stranger things youd like it so much theyre coming out with a new season this summer im so excited" so i was like omggggg but yk shes always trying to make me watch shit n ykyk, whatever.

one day she convinces me or- wait no i think she forced me, and i kinda like- caved or smt. anyways, we end up watching the first episode on her phone during art class. lmao slay. so we finish the first episode and im thinking it was really good like wow but my ass probably wont watch the second episode cause im terrible at getting commited like wow

and ok- so herereeeee, here comes the kicker- the slingshot into ST. like why i actually like continued to watch.

i was still in my h<3rt stopper (censoring cause it would be annoying if this was in their tag) hyperfixation, or more like i was just getting out of my HS hyperfixation. I watched the series 3 times so i was getting a bit burnt out, so i needed something else to fan over, something else to watch. but not anything, it had to be gay. because lord KNOWS we do NOT have enough gay shit to watch. like i need it. and- im sorry- but not crappy indie films (disclaimer- indie films are NOT all crappy, theres just... some .... iykyk💀) or weird.... weird ones that make no sense and are just there for like... sex and honestly i have no fucking clue.

no i needed GAYURIJRH anyways,,,,, so i dm Tina and im like "omg tinaaaa helllpp meeee 👹 i need gay stuff to watch theres no good ones 😭" and so she gives me a list of shows with gay characters in them, and then shes like "Will from Stranger Things is gay lmao" (pre season 4 btw) so im like, in my mind, im like "Cool 😃 Mike Wheeler from Stranger Things is gay 😃" no duckiebuckie she said will- "Mike Wheelr is gay 😃" *queue past memories and preconceived notions of the past now flodding forward*

so. i waited a couple days. then i watched the first episode again this time with my little brother and like the rest of season 1 (not all at once) and i, fully, utterly, comepletely, totally, full heartedly believed that Mike was gay (i mean he is but thats not the point right now) like- i just, believed it. i just simply took it as fact. literally no one ever actually told me Mike was gay. i had just like, thought it was canon. like i actually thought it was canon. like genuinley. its so fucking funny thinking about it now because i really actually dont think i ever saw anyone or anything actually stating Mike was gay or anything, like my own seld really had made it canon. like wow. icon. again, it couldve been that one video, but i kinda like also dont. YKWWWW- I LIKE- ok so i even went to the point of like, during or after watching the first episode, imagining a little coming out scenario LATER THAT SEASON with mike telling Dustin and Lucase (cant remember if- WAIT OH MY GODDDD I JUST REMEMBERED- WILL WASNT IN THE SENARIO I WAS IMAGINING BECAUSE MIKE WAS COMING OUT TO LUCAS AND DUSTIN AS GAY AND HE LIKED WILL- YALL I REALLY HAVE BEEN A BYLER SHIPPER SINCE THE BEGINNING HUH 🥹🥹 (btw i would like to mention that this was less of a head canon and more of a "oh this is probably gonna happen like this is whats happening" kinda thing LMFAOOOOOO

and then mike kissed el and i was like what the fuck 😟

and then from the end of season 1-4 v1 and v2 i was... convinced of the opposite 😔 💔 but HEY YOU CANT BLAME ME I WAS LIKE GA BACK THEN AND LIKE MIKE AND EL KISSED N SHIT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK

and then the byler heart to hearts started happening and i was like- oh wait- oh honey, mikey dear your gay is showing right now. LIKE I WAS A GA WHO THOUGHT MIKE WAS STRAIGHT AND I COULD STILLLL SEEEE THE FRUITINESS LIKE HONEEYYYYYYYYYYYY FRIENDS DONT TALK TO FRIENDS LIKE THAT but i digress.

anyways. then mike said i love you blah blah blah yk like yeah hes straight but i wasnt even really thinking about the subject that much

ANYWAYS what convinced me once again that mike wheeler was gay?

well, mainly @kaypeace21 's analysis about why they think mike is not Bi, but gay, yk, the iconic one. but what started inspection in the first place when i was a steadfast "wills 100% gay but unfortunately mike is 100% straight and its unrequited and i dont ship byler because its just a lil funky and weird because mike is OBVIOUSLY straight blah blah blah i mean its cute but its dEFINITELY not real blah blah" believer? because.... of ONE fateful tiktok.

Enter Tina again. were at her house, and we decide to watch stranger things tiktok compilations and crack videos n stuff cause yk that stuff is really funny and great.

So we see this one tiktok compilation and its stranger thins ofc and the title says (very gay) and shes like, ya wanna watch this one? and im like (my ass had already seen this same complilation, but i remembered the greatness that it held) so i agree.

so previously, i had watched the video and just kinda ignored the byler stuff cause i didnt ship (although i would like to make a disclaimer that i was not a mileven shipper either. i kinda just thought they were like cute and yk oh theyre the main couple cool ig it is what it is like this is how its gonna be ig) anyways, but this time (i think we had like briefly discussed mikes sexuality earlier, and decided he was prolly definitely just straight (but discussing it in the first place is like, kinda telling lmfao)) so it was on my mind. so this time, when the byler vid came on, i payed more attention. it was a rink o mania edit. and i saw his facial expression. i saw that fucking facial expression.

so me and Tina™ paused the video, and we were like "ok... so like, I think Mike is straight... but like that facial expression he just made. but like hes definitely straight right? yeah... but that expressionnnnnnn.... but like yeah, right? yeah.. anyways...." and then we watched the rest of the video.

and then pinterest came in and it was one piece of evidence after another and then the Kaypeace post.

the rest is history.

My Point?

The whole reason I started watching Stranger Things in the first place was because I thought Mike was gay. If Mike Wheeler is not gay, I will have watched Stranger Things for nothing. yes, i stayed and kept watching even after m*l*v*n was established because stranger things is just so good, how could you not? but my point still stands. The whole reason for me even deciding to keep watching after the first episode was because i thought mike was gay. and it seems that we've come full circle now, because once again, i believe mike wheeler is gay and my enjoyment (and ST) depends on Mike being gay.

tagging @aemiron-main because like idk i feel like you would find this interesting? amusing? maybe? lol

tagging @l0v3c0r3e @adorewillbyers cause i feel like yall would get it 🥺 also i need someone to read this shit because i did not just spend an hour and a half writing this for like 0 notes like no maaaaaaaaaaam

@the-homosphere cause they dared me to

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #23

I finally got a chance today to go to Eggcellent and work on the music box a little!! I can't share a bubble tea with you (this continues to be a very sad thing that I can do absolutely nothing about), but I can at least show you what I got! It's a Four Seasons tea with tea jelly and cream cheese foam! Here:

Unfortunately, I forgot to bring the power cord for my laptop, so I'm going to have to stop working on the music box very soon. Being AuDHD, I tend to forget things or lose things a lot; this is because I have impairments both to my executive functioning and my object permanence, go figure! Mind whirs a mile a minute with countless kaleidoscopic ideas, and yet half the time you can't ask me to Bring the Thing™ because I have the working memory of a caffeinated chipmunk! Hahaha!

But it's all right. I have my machine in battery saving mode, which will help keep it on for a bit longer. The screen brightness is turned all the way down, and the sound and the wifi and the Bluetooth are all off to conserve power.

Sadly, this makes transferring the tune from digital music box paper to actual music box paper a little harder than it would normally be. The screen is darker than normal, so marking and keeping track of all the little dots is enough to make my eyes go all crossed and glaze over. Admittedly, I'm writing to you with a pretty wicked headache as a result, haha…

Oh right; maybe I should show you what I'm working on! Maybe you'll recognize the tune. Or maybe not. Probably not, now that I think about it, haha! But still it's a cute little tune; maybe you'll like it!

This is the thing I am trying to mark down onto proper music box paper. Once the music box paper is marked, I have to go through again and clip out all the marked dots with a special hole punch. Even for very short songs like this one, this process can take me a long time to complete. I get distracted easily. And the dyspraxia makes precision movements very difficult.

I make the things anyway because just wishing for the kinds of things I want, or hoping that eventually someone else will create it, is not enough. The kinds of things I want typically don't exist and aren't things that others think about, so I have to build them, even when the odds are stacked against me, such as it is with the music box paper. I don't always have the wherewithal to follow something through to completion, but occasionally I do, and when that happens, it's very beautiful.

A lot of things in life are kind of like this, though, aren't they? It's not enough to just passively wish for things; you have to go get them. And sometimes in going to get them, you have to overcome crazy obstacles. Some of those obstacles will be legitimate roadblocks, and others will just be limiting beliefs that aren't actually true, and it can sometimes be very difficult to tell which is which. And regardless of the nature of the obstacle - actual or self-made - some of them will be insurmountable nonetheless. But that is when you ask for help; even asking for help is a step towards going to get the things that you want or need.

Sometimes we don't always follow through. Sometimes, halfway on the way to getting something, we realize that whatever it was doesn't work for us. And that's okay too; we can always go do something else that we like better, even if it's only temporary. Most things in life are only temporary anyway. This can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on what angle you're looking at it from.

One of the limiting beliefs that I carry is that I have to pile everything on my shoulders all at once, and that I have to be responsible for all the things. If I'm not careful, it can morph into me wanting to eliminate everyone's obstacles, and then getting upset with myself when I inevitably can't. If I don't catch myself falling into old habits like these, I end up tiring myself out in the process until I can't really do anything.

It's kinda like these old song lyrics:

-------------- If you want to, I can save you; I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cared. --------------

You know, this used to be one of my favorite tunes, for this little section. But then as I started to grow up, I began to understand that no human can really save any other human; we can only give them sufficient time, safety, and support to save themselves. And they have to also want it.

So for example, you can want with all your might to pull someone out of the quicksand. But if they keep smacking away your outstretched hand on the mistaken notion that you're gonna trick them somehow, or on the mistaken notion that they have to escape the situation all by themselves or else it doesn't count, or on the mistaken notion that you're too weak to avoid being pulled into the quicksand with them, or on the mistaken notion that they don't deserve an outstretched hand at all, there's not a whole lot about it that you can do, as much as that sucks.

I still haven't found an effective way to deal with that feeling. I'll get back to you if I ever do. Or if you figure it out, teach me, okay? I can always use a few more pointers as I try to navigate this very weird place I was born to, haha!

I wonder… if you find yourself caught in quicksand (everyone does from time to time, whether they realize it or not), are you strong enough and brave enough to reach towards and grasp the hands outstretched to you, trusting in the notion that they can and will carry you to safety if you let them? Are you strong and brave enough to look at yourself with enough mercy to know that you are deserving of this kind of care?

If you're not yet, then that's okay. Take your time, work at it - you'll get there. I hope maybe these words I write to you can help a little with that, though, even though you'll probably never see them. After all:

-------------- If you want to, you can save you; You can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there; I hope you'll realize that there's people who care. --------------

Hey, stay safe out there, okay? You're loved. I love you. Lots of people love you. So don't force thousands of people to mourn your destruction and subsequent absence, all right? Be careful. Make good choices.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend, Lumine