#anyway idk. this feels like a dangerous sort of post 2 make tbh

[aeide-thea]

anyway totally apropos of nothing i'm just thinking abt like. i really hate DNIs that are—i mean, i could've stopped there, i really hate DNIs period, i think they're performative and useless and naive, but. i really hate DNIs that use identity as a shorthand for the (mis)behavior the poster expects from people of that identity

like there's a Respected Butch Blogger on here who years ago posted something about a man at a bus stop, idk, attempting to strike up a conversation/hit on her*, something in that line, and made some comment to the effect of like, look at me, i'm obviously a butch dyke, he should've known i wasn't available to him! and i thought at the time, and still think now—the problem here was the creepiness/entitlement of this man's behavior! nobody should be chatting anyone up at a bus stop or grocery store (real example from a past stage of my own life 😞) or other practical public venue where like‚ they're just trying to do their thing and get home! but framing the problem as instead being about, essentially, an IRL failure to respect an implicit DNI, as though someone who presented differently would've been fair game for predatory treatment—i hated that then and i hate it now

[ultimately of course it's like. people sometimes frame things in shitty ways on their perblogs when they're upset and it's good to cut them a little slack abt that... but also like. in venting veritas]

and i just like. this is a disconnected patchy sort of post but you just see people going up these ladders that are like 'i assume Men are looking at me and having Gross Disrespectful Fantasies abt me in their heads and so i don't even want them clicking a silent heart on my posts'

and ultimately everyone's entitled to set whatever boundaries they like! but it just feels to me like. tbh you're spooling out a whole Gross Fantasy of yr own abt Men when like. instead you could just set a boundary about what kinds of comments are welcome. and even from whom! but like. why are we collapsing Man into Person Who's Inevitably Gonna Behave Invasively and Disrespectfully. like when the traditional model of masculinity also says that but with an accompanying smirky thumbs-up, and then you're saying that with a thumbs-down... idk. just like. where's the vision of a better world. bc like. i thought that was actually what we were trying to open the door for, personally!

ultimately i guess it's just like, our approaches are not compatible and i shd be grateful 2 their DNIs for making that clear to me, but. i really don't see how the master's tools (framing identity as shorthand for/inevitable predictor of undesirable behavior) ever dismantle the master's house (kyriarchy)

[mothmans-wedding-photographer]

Mothman's Buffy Rewatch: Season 2, Episodes 5, 6, and 7 "Reptile Boy", "Halloween" and "Lie to Me"

Reptile Boy

Ok I actually watched this episode last week and forgot to write a post about it lol my bad

Anyway Buffy and Cordelia get drugged! Horrifying!

Damn Giles let Buffy have fun she's fucking 17 and facing death every day

Kind of love Cordelia and Buffy sort of starting a friendship

Is the snake like. A metaphor for dick. Like the club is dangerous because you'll get drugged and then men will take advantage of you with the "snake"?

Especially since its university age men trying to date high schoolers like freaks

And then there's the guy who told buffy not to talk to the snake because she's a woman and then gets the shit beat out of him get fucked shitidiot

I wish he died horribly <3 misogyny is punishable by death if you're a fictional character in my book tbh

Damn they've really been sacrificing women for centuries, i originally thought this was a newer group due to the lack of old people

Halloween

Xander is such a loser lol at least tell Buffy thank you for saving you from getting the lights beat out of him

Cordelia and Angel interactions are so funny to me 😭😭

Honestly I really feel Willow when she feels uncomfortable in revealing clothing. I want to be, but it's hard

Yo Oz and Willow first conversation

Noooo the poor old lady 😭 at least she's fine

Princess Buffy is so silly but kind of annoying and Army Xander is better than real Xander if I'm being honest

I think princess buffy should've had a moment where she accidentally hurt someone or broke something and was surprised and confused because she's just a weak woman (in her words) and she doesn't know she's the slayer

Honestly seeing Buffy like this makes me insanely uncomfortable and I don't know why? I'm just not used to it ig

ETHAN THE GUY GILES HAS BEEF WITH I FORGOT ABOUT HIM

GILES JUST FUCKING PUNCHES HIM I LOVE IT

"Hi honey, I'm home :)" iconic but it also made me think of the song "Honey I'm Home"

Beat his ass Buffy! I love to hate Spike

Oz already being infatuated with Willow is so cute

Tbh I think this was a really cool episode concept in general

Lie to Me

Damn this kid knows stranger danger. Almost wasn't enough to save him though rare Angel W

I kind of love Drusilla she's so

Every time Cordelia opens her mouth in class I become violent

Oh Buffy long lost friend? He's gonna be evil for sure

FORD F-150

Xander and Angel both being threatened by a man who knows Buffy, get a life

Lmfao the lonely ones

"Ours is a forbidden love." Lmfao

Spike possessive moment. I do appreciate when he realizes he's hurt drusilla he apologizes, good boyfriend I guess

Ah man fuck Ford <3 I hope he dies

"I don't deserve to die" yes you do <3

Ain't no way he's calling Buffy out because she didn't know he has a terminal illness when he's about to commit MASS MURDER 😭

Buffy don't apologize he sucks

God everything about this man pisses me off more than the average Buffy villain of the week

I love how much Spike actually cares about Dru

"Uh. Where's the doorknob" his tone was so funny to me

Lol get fucked Ford

NOOO HE DOESNT DESERVE FLOWERS

WAIT THEY ACTUALLY TURNED FORD LMFAO

Ok I understand hes afraid and he has a horrible illness and it's complicated and whatever it's just Everything about him pisses me off so much and I refuse to feel sympathy. Idk it's interesting what horrible circumstances leads people to due though, I think this episode has a lot to think about I'm just a hater

"Lie to me." "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guy are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everyone loves happily ever after." I'm fucking sobbing this line gets me so hard

[yakocchi]

Our Prenuptial Nightmare // Eisuke

hooray, finally the end to this dumb season LOL but i like this one a lot…… maybe it’s even the one from this season only worth reading (i havent read all of them tho)

well this one is actually kind of refreshing bc as i posted before, it’s abt the MC losing her memories. she’s not just a season 1 blank slate… she doesn’t remember anything after getting a job at the Tres Spades, so she barely remembers her own friends as well. yikesu

my rambling behind the cut

so eisuke honestly treats her the same as he always does, just obviously more distanced (im gonna read the His POV after this so idk rn). shes pretty spooked about this scary guy, maybe even more than she was in season 1 since he’s way more caring about her health or w/e despite being a CEO and all. for a pretty long time, he keeps her stuck in the hospital. he brings her a dvd that contains a media appearance of him publicly introducing her as his fiancée and she’s like “tf, is this a prank???” and all sorts of ppl visit her and stuff. shes still pretty much in disbelief about the whole thing until her parents come visit and they clearly know who this weird guy is

eventually she gets stuck in his penthouse instead. tbh she’s probably not “healthy” enough to work rn given that she doesn’t remember anything about her job, but she can’t even step one foot outside the room without soryu and his goons (appointed by eisuke) being like “HEY WAT U DOIN” so it’s kind of dull and jarring for her haha. later she finds a diary that she wrote in before her memory loss and she’s like “oh wow……. i was simpin that hard for this guy huh” (ok more like “wow, i really love this guy huh”… but i mean same thing). she also wants to make food for him and cooked up a risotto but since eisuke’s been busy af, she ends up falling asleep before he comes home (late) to eat it.

then eventually she presses forward about learning more bc she feels that eisuke is hiding a lot about himself, esp. in terms of what he does. and shes right abt that bc hes purposefully not saying anything abt the black market auctions, etc. eventually eisuke gives in and explains to her the whole 20m bid thing that started this whole romance. she tells him she wants to learn more, and so eisuke turns it into a whole date. They have a date that’s the “type of date for a first date”, and then it concludes with the inn at Kobe.

PART 2 eisuke makes it sound like hes gonna bone her but obv the guy is just teasing for the most part and it ends p cute bc he’s sweet (sweet for his standards) about it. later they go to that same petting zoo or w/e with the cute bunnies. lol eventually the same bunny that doesn’t seem to hate him shows up too. they end up bringing the rabbit home (the rabbit’s name is Maron, as in “chestnut”) to take care of. i guess maron is their animal bebe now it’s been like a month, so she returns to work eventually. hikaru notes that she’s doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t remember how any of this works. but then later, she passes out while remembering the strange discussion she overheard the day she lost her memories. eisuke goes WAH MC and then when she eventually wakes up and he’s like “it’s ok, dw abt it” while she’s like “bro i got something to tell u”. next day he tells her that he’s made her the Floor Leader of the eventual “Tres Spades Maldives”, but then she realizes during the flight that the man with her is not Eisuke, but Yuuma sent there to comfort her and also to do the Maldives business stuff. it’s obvious eisuke’s trying to separate from her. after all, it’s been a month and there’s no sign of her memories returning. he’s pretty blunt about organizing all of it without her realizing (wow what’s new). she’s really sad about it but relents and goes with it anyway. i mean eisuke is obviously pretty sad about it too since he parts with her with that genuine smile and says along the lines of “Don’t forget… that I’ve always loved your dumb face.” why i QQin BRO

well hikaru and yuuma are here in maldives so not too bad. also the penthouse bedroom is pretty good, it’s an aquarium lookin thing anyway so obv eventually the “generic gangster model” guy has to show up and kidnap her. well yuuma comes to the rescue and blahblah they want to murder her bc eisuke knew too much abt business nonsense going on again and then she dives into the sea. before she drowns, the real eisuke miraculously shows up to save her blahblah everyone else comes to save the day (2) and then they return to the Maldives suite. eisuke is like “smh i should’ve taught u how to protect urself” (…) “swear to me that u will not behave like an idiota ever again” and her memories come back after she goes “I can’t promise that (…) if you put yourself into danger, then I will continue to do the same” and has a flashback of his confessions from various seasons. HUGS lol that cg really has him going :I before a : )

everything goes back to normal, she finds a ring on her right hand and they’re wearing like… couple rings..... boi you guys are supposed to be married soon, just wait for those well fin. i skipped a buncha stuff in this “ramble” but yea my first impressions and all

[yunsoh]

alrighty season 3 ep 2 thoughts. this post got ridiculously long so the rest is under a read more:

- literally i love every single time we see akito sleeping in this long and empty room. there’s something very encompassing about how empty it is + how the angle emphasizes it, especially when we can clearly see she’s sharing her bed 

- shigure and tohru’s moments alone are always soo so sweet. their relationship so far is very much one where there’s a lot of affection between them (which ofc makes one of their biggest scenes together during the final act feel especially hurtful even though it’s a side of shigure we’re well aware of by that point -- it’s just something that tohru up until that point hadn’t witnessed, much less been directly confronted with. but i’m getting ahead of myself lmfao moving on)

- actually related to the above love tohru asking “wouldn’t i just be interrogating him?” and “the things kureno told me make me feel like i’m looking into a deep, dark well” just ahh i do love this background progression of shigure and tohru’s relationship and how it reaches a head when they have their talk about kyo later. 

- this is perhaps unintentional but: having this shot of machi noticing yuki + clearly having some new feelings about him overlaid with/directly followed by momiji and tohru, where we still know momiji has an unrequited crush on her. yes it makes me laugh a little but it’s also fitting because at this moment in time yuki does not have a crush on machi in return + sees her only as a friend.

- it’s been mentioned but it bears repeating. why are they not progressing momiji’s height whatsoever lmaooo. funny because yuki and kyo have had gradual changes but they’re really just trying to make this growth spurt reveal super jarring huh. also holy shit he looks TINY next to haru in this shot. next

- the one kid in class asking hana to fuck the priyuki girls up but she’s like “actually i really don’t care” LMAO........ love her

- ugh i really love this moment with yuki.......... i think it’s been a while since we’ve seen the general student population (not just the prince yuki girls) still treat him in a revering way, now also in part because he’s the student council president but definitely still because of his reputation as the prince. this was something that was so deeply ostracizing to him early on in the series, and does still remind him of his loneliness -- but that loneliness isn’t crippling to him anymore, because now he does have friends who like him and who he can have fun with. 

i’m going to write a bigger post on this later probably because this is a really important progression point in how yuki understands himself to exist in his school’s ecosystem + how his self-esteem is still developing.

- additionally i just want to say that this scene isn’t yuki suddenly falling for machi, or really something to be read as mutually romantic between them -- machi i think absolutely has a crush on him at this point (because he is. the only person who is actually nice to her and considers her existence aside from kakeru but moving on) but yuki’s perception of her at this moment is heavily tied to how he thinks of himself as a friend + whether he’s a worthy enough person to befriend. the fact that machi shatters those doubts for him in such an overt way is important.

- anyways machi is rly cute here i loooove that she’s comfortable being more expressive around him even though it’s mostly out of embarrassment LMAO...... she’s learning how to display her feelings and trusts him with that..... cute.

- also of note yuki putting his hand on the top of her head which is like... he’s trying to convey that he feels they have (or are starting to have) a trusting friendship with each other but it’s like. a bit too much for machi to handle omfg. honestly this goes in hand with way back when ayame patted yuki’s head in praise which was clearly something yuki didn’t receive much of as a kid, and i’m assuming machi also rarely if ever received that same sort of praise. what i’m saying is they’re both trying lmaoo

- also as usual shimazaki’s deliveries are spot on yuki is soooo fucking cute in this scene. “what? seriously? they’re even worse than the ones i made” he’s so casual and funny with her it’s so good

- okay the timeskip to sunset makes me laugh it makes it seem like tohru and kyo have just been waiting in that room alone for hourssss

- ugh how sexy would it have been if the brief flashback to kureno + the music overlay had been cut out here. like tohru seeing the birds and then turning to ask kyo what he would think if someone’s curse had been broken would have gotten the message across just as well + i think would have been more emotionally impactful.

- tohru’s expression here though is so good just. ugh. will say this point in hers and kyo’s relationship is just so tasty because he really is her most trusted confidant but she’s also so aware of anything that could be construed as him rejecting her or pushing her away, which now that she’s getting especially wrapped up in the family’s secrets...... it’s a thin line she’s walking w wanting to protect him but not wanting to push him away bc he’s resigned to what will happen

- this visual is so weeeeeird aoghjksd the screen being framed by her bangs. what. why

- hmmmm in general idk if the flower scene hit very well. it felt kind of awkward? kyo and tohru both seemed really stiff which is weird because literally just a minute ago they were animated pretty well tbh

- this post is already so long and i only JUST started the akigure part of the ep....... i’m so sorry

- machi and kyo both handing off white flowers to yuki and tohru respectively and then we’re hit with shigure giving akito a red flower instead. obviously because akito is symbolized by red camellias + to refer back to her memory of shigure giving one to her, but also just basic color symbolism -- white being more indicative of purity and new beginnings, red being something both passionate, evocative, dangerous.

- oh we’re back to the kids. it is not in fact akigure time yet. 

- i loooove this tohru outfit so much she’s so cute in it. also ig it bears mentioning because i didn’t say anything about it last time, but the reboot hinting more directly to the audience that something bad happened to rin, rather than just her disappearing entirely, is def more overt than in the manga. that short scene of ren intercepting rin in the last ep was chronological yes, but in the manga we don’t see that happen until after we know that akito’s been keeping her in the cat’s room. so just by tohru mentioning that she hasn’t seen or heard from rin in a while, we’re clued in that something bad to her must have happened because of ren. which i don’t think is a bad decision honestly -- since ren is set up as the antagonist for this season, it might make viewers assume that ren did something bad to her, only for it to be revealed that it was akito and that akito is still becoming more and more unhinged. but that also ren is unhinged. disasters.

- “i’m sorry, i’m afraid i do have parents” this rly is just the mid-20s mood isn’t it

- mitsuru fucking hissing at shigure i cannot

- nakamura’s acting during this phone scene is so goooood oh my god. the LOATHING. honestly this alone just makes me crazy abt the insanity that is akito + kureno + shigure like jesus christ. 

- kureno’s pitiful little “nii-san” after shigure obliterates his entire life. there we go

- honestly it’s funny how shigure’s expression looks when akito yells at him for sleeping with ren because for a moment it looks like he has NO idea what she’s talking about but then. nope. he fucked her mom.

- do like the little detail of akito pointing as she tells shigure to get out, but when he leaves he just turns in the opposite direction. like truly he has never followed orders to the t once in his life.

- this shot of ren is so fucking absurd oh my god. pls get ur male gaze directing out of here.

- “i... thought you forgot” man the way this is delivered feels really striking. i think because akito is never caught off guard in a way that surprises her in such a quiet way, or in a way that leaves her plainly vulnerable. like her vitriol towards him has to do with the fact that she feels he’s abandoning the bond they used to have (and ofc they bond they have through the curse), and that memory of him does act as a linchpin. 

- it’s primo bitchy shigure hours. primo akito meltdown hours.

- this shot is soooo foreboding wow. straight up darkness. tho i kind of wish this shot was used instead for the “i want to crush her to a pulp” line, or at the very least that the shot for that line was just framed differently

- god they’re so fucking awful for each other. purely just a disaster duo. shigure taking control of the conversation + dismissing akito’s meltdown and emotional manipulation leaves akito feeling the only way she can have control over him is through seducing him since no other method works. the convo that has with her accusing him of sleeping with a lot of other women + her not knowing how to handle the fact that he slept with ren, and ofc the convo it has with her misogyny and how she views herself. they have this really vitriolic push and pull for control because akito doesn’t know what to do when she loses any control at all, and shigure’s grasping at what little control he can have considering how their power dynamics work with the bond -- walking away when she’s being manipulative, refusing to coddle her. like shigure’s wish for them to be on an equal playing field without the curse is a pipe dream because their relationship is just so, so damaged as is and is so heavily informed by what has already happened between them. takaya why did you have them end up together for realsies why did you--

- what is with the reboot team making akito break down the walls and doors all the time lmfao. bro the structural damage caused by this little 90lb disaster.

- i think i understand why they took it out (like maybe it would have been too overt with how they’ve set up the audience to expect something bad happened to rin after running into ren) but man they really just didn’t adapt one of the most haunting parts of the series huh. like this shot of rin being trapped inside the cat’s room right beside shigure thinking “i’ll be waiting for you” maaaan man!!

- okay addendum: apparently she is in the room. in hindsight i did notice this but it did not register as a person because i thought it was just a glare on the window 😭

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Episode 4 Rewatch Thoughts

So first of all, I would definitely say that I have...calmed down a considerable amount since my first watch, so to speak. @delyth88 said some things in her rewatch post about being able to adapt to things and enjoy the episode more the second time due to knowing what's coming rather than having to deal with the uncertainty - which I how I feel about it as well and is a trend I experienced with episodes 1-2 as well, and in some ways episode 3. Once I had a chance to recover a bit from the narcissist thing and the romance thing, it turned out there were a lot of things I really liked! The big issues I had haven’t gone away by any means, and honestly a couple of the biggest ones aren’t even things that specifically happened in this episode - the first is just the gradual realization I’m having that I don’t think they are ever going to properly address Loki’s past trauma, and all those plot points the MCU just dropped are probably forever going to stay that way. And that fucking sucks, there’s no reason it had to be like this, and I don’t see how I could ever not be upset about that or truly get over it. The other thing is that it’s just incredibly frustrating and sad to me that all those theories about Loki having some kind of other plan in episode 3 to explain the bizarre incompetence we saw, or payoff for the weirdness that was the TemPad breaking scene, literally just amounted to nothing. All these things I hoped were intentional subtext turned out to just be nothing more than...bad writing? So yeah, I’m pretty disappointed about that. But at this point I’m trying to enjoy the series for what it is as much as I can, and on the second watch I really did enjoy a lot about this episode. So yeah, long-ass intro aside, here are my (hopefully more coherent this time) thoughts about episode 4:

Damn, that scene with Sylvie as a child really highlights how inhumane and barbaric the TVA is. Seeing her in that little prison uniform was...oof. Not that we didn’t already know the TVA was terrible, but I appreciate that they’re making it unmistakably clear for the general audience.

It's genuinely a good thing that they're going into Sylvie's trauma, and it's important to the plot, but I can't even put into words how frustrating it is to see them do that while simultaneously refusing to address Loki's. (you know, the protagonist?)

"Kind of an asshole and a bad friend" LMAO Mobius the TVA was holding Loki captive and was eventually going to kill him, can you really blame the guy for trying to escape?? Also an additional episode establishing that friendship would have been good - as much as I'm glad they consider each other friends, it felt premature for either of them to use that word yet.

I have mixed feelings about the Sif scene - overall I like it, but I do have some issues:

Pros: 

-   Loki whump! Both physical and emotional! (I want to see Loki win but I also like whump. It's complicated. Also I'm confused about where exactly she kneed him? Everyone is saying crotch but the first time he's holding his inner thigh so I thought it was there? Anyway if it is the crotch I'm not a huge fan of that particular decision, but my general feelings about whump still stand.) 

-    Lots of sad Loki faces, talking about fear of being alone - good stuff!

Cons: 

-    The first of the dreaded "narcissist" mentions

-    It’s kind of odd that he never even tried fighting back?

-    This also could have been an opportunity to acknowledge Loki's trauma, and as usual, they did not take it. I would have maybe liked a scene where Odin was being a dick to Loki and we got an acknowledgement of some of the emotional abuse. They probably could've worked Loki's fear of being alone into just about any memory. Did it really have to be a scene about how Loki's in the wrong? And in itself I have no issue with Loki facing the mistakes he's made! But I've been waiting 10 goddamn years for just one character or even a single solitary line of dialogue to acknowledge that Loki was wronged too, and by all appearances it still isn't going to happen and I'm just fucking tired.

And about the narcissist thing - it's frustrating because if they would just do it right, it could actually be really good?? If an element of the story was Loki (and Mobius) thinking he was a narcissist and then realizing he actually isn't, that would be amazing. The problem is, I'm fairly certain they are not going to go that route. I feel like it'll be more along the lines of "yeah you're a narcissist but you can be Good!" instead of acknowledging that Loki was never a fucking narcissist in the first place. Tbh it makes sense that both Loki and Mobius might think Loki's a narcissist, or throw around the term without knowing what they’re talking about - there are great explanations and meta about that - the real problem for me is that, in the eyes of the general audience, it confirmed a harmful and unfortunately very popular misconception about Loki, and it also perpetuates an incorrect view of what a narcissist is. Those are the main reasons I'm mad about it; if they purposefully, explicitly contradict it later it'll probably be fine! I just really don't think they're going to.

Tbh, after the second watch I'm a lot less mad about the shitty things Mobius said while interrogating Loki - it still hurt to hear and I'd still love an apology, but from Mobius' perspective it honestly makes sense that he wouldn't pull any punches considering he thinks Loki is partially responsible for killing the minutemen and Hunter C-20, and is trying to bring down the TVA.

I do still think Mobius turning on the TVA felt rushed. I'm delighted he got there, and the way he realized things made sense - it just happened unrealistically fast. I felt like a lot of things were rushed, and honestly I think more things will probably feel rushed in these last two episodes as well. This is something I felt with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier too - like they needed at least eight if not more episodes to give proper space for the story and character arcs they were trying to squeeze in. Six episodes just isn't enough.

Although, that said, while I still think this episode had weird pacing it didn't really bother me that much on the second watch? Probably because I already knew what the sequence of events was going to be.

The scene when Mobius was pruned was amazing - I loved Loki's emotions, and the way he walks down the hallway still kind of crying but mostly just looking utterly dead inside? *chef's kiss*

The timekeepers scene still felt off to me, and I still can't really articulate why. It honestly doesn't matter that much to me so I don't want to waste time on it, but I guess it just felt...sort of low-budget? Like we already knew the timekeepers probably weren't real/weren't what they seemed, but did they have to look that obviously fake? Idk.

I'm going to make a separate post about the romance stuff, but basically where I’m at with it is: it's a terrible shame to see such beautiful platonic/sibling energy go to waste, I'm real annoyed about it but trying to make peace with it for my own sanity, and I think there are a million clues pointing to it not actually being romantic but I don't trust that any of those were intentional. So I guess we'll see? 

I'm very intrigued by all the Loki variants. Also I'm curious if Mobius is there as well, or if each variant person has their own world? Either way I'll be shocked if Mobius is actually dead (there's a million reasons for that but the main ones are that it's likely pruning doesn't actually kill any of the variants (not just the Loki ones) and anyway he's supposed to be in 5 episodes). I'm really curious about the variant world in general though and I wonder what exactly the dangers are - why Loki "will be [dead]" if he doesn't come with the other Lokis.

[assassinshadow17]

Alright people I had to because I’m lowkey scared at how the “shocking death” could go down. Here’s a tier-list of whoever is safe/in-danger of getting the ticket out of life. I tried to be as realistic as possible and who gives more to Ari’s life and how he could grow with/without them in his life, if they served the purpose for his development in the 1st book.

SAFE - Aristotle Mendoza, Legs Mendoza, Gina Navarro, Susie Byrd

Aristotle Mendoza - He’s literally the protagonist and its overall his story and how Dante helps him open up to love himself, and to love Dante. Unless if Ari’s own “shocking death” is himself and the description was to throw us off with turning the POV over to Dante(if that makes sense) Ari isn’t going anywhere but forward in life. 100% SAFE

Legs Mendoza - You may think, “but wouldn’t the dog be in most danger?” Well no, see if Legs would die, I’m not sure it could trigger Ari to have to “fight like never before” I love dogs and think they are so precious, but looking at Ari’s story, I don’t think it would be enough to set Ari in a “new” direction. Although a small chance Ben could do it just to be a dick lmao. 95% SAFE

Gina Navarro and Susie Byrd - I think these are 2 of Ari’s closest friends that help him at school and he secretly loves to talk to. But I don’t think they are developed enough in Ari’s life to cause a huge impact, unless if they going to receive that sort of treatment. But for now, I’m assuming they will take a sideline role and support Ari in his time of grief. 95% SAFE 

UNPREDICATBLE - Cassandra, Baby Quintana(Dante’s soon to be younger sibling) Sam Quintana, Soledad Quintana

Cassandra - Cassandra is a new character that is just noted from Ben himself. She’s probably going to be Ari and Dante’s close friend to them, but unless if the point of her presence is to give Ari a new meaning to life(Which still wouldn’t make sense to me) Then I don’t see how Ari would be that affected by her death, but if Ben wanted it to happen that way, who am I to stop him? We will have to see how her arc turns out. 85% SAFE

Baby Quintana - Once again, a new character in Ari’s life, but it seems he would be more beneficial to Dante’s story and have Dante grow as a person than Ari. Plus being a baby, not really much connection you could give besides loving them unconditionally, which Ari would do overall anyways. 85% SAFE

Sam Quintana - Sam is a cool dad and very inspirational character, much like Dante, he has Ari questioning how someone could be so nice in the world. He’s very loving of Dante and would die for his son, and by further extension, Ari. I think his death would give Ari a hit in life, but it seems it would be more for Dante’s growth as opposed to Ari’s.(Again, based on the description, this death seems to affect Ari the most.) Although it would be a shock factor and grow Ari to comfort Dante overall, which I could see Ben doing. 75% SAFE/LOW-CAUTION VULNERABLE

Soledad Quintana - Pretty much Ari’s reassurance that even she can see the love that Ari has for her son, Dante. Soledad has a huge role, as Ari’s mom(who we will get to soon) in having the boys learn to love themselves and have them take command of their lives, despite knowing that most of the world will be against them. Soledad loves Ari nearly as much as Dante, because he gives Dante such happiness. I could very well see this death affecting Ari a lot, but also, it seems it would benefit Dante’s arc more-so. So I don’t think Ben will go this route. However I see a viable reasoning if Ben did it. 60% MEDIUM-CAUTION VULNERABLE

DANGER - Liliana Mendoza, Jamie Mendoza

Lilliana Mendoza - I’m sorry to have Ari’s beautiful and much of a QUEEN mom here, but I have to look at the point of view. Lilliana has been Ari’s only comfort in his life really, his dad was never mentally present, and she reassured his existence in the world and has made him felt loved everyday. With also joking around with him like he hasn’t been depressed for most of his life. If Lilliana were to die, this would affect Ari the closest of both parents, he would feel lost, vulnerable, and to an even lower point of sadness than before the beginning of the 1st book. I could very well see Ben going this route and probably so far the most predicted of who would die and make Ari really figure out how to “form a life of his own joy” 20% SAFE/IN-DANGER

Jamie Mendoza - Okay, personally I think Ben will go this route and let me just say why. Jamie, Ari’s dad, has been out of Ari’s life for most of it. He would help Ari if he was sick, but really left his wife to most of the parenting. Not even caring if Ari stuck in the clubs that he wanted him in. But I think Jamie’s purpose has been delivered to Ari in showing Ari that he doesn’t have to be afraid of his love for Dante, he doesn’t have to let his past consume him and let him feel drowned just because he didn’t want to talk about it or open up. Jamie gave Ari the opening to go after Dante and made Ari realize his feelings. I see Ari being affected by his death because of the confusion he could feel, would Ari feel sad or angry that he never really knew his dad more? And would he move on so easily or feel guilty that he couldn’t somehow open his own dad up, when they were so alike and how they could have grew if Jamie had been present. I think this would get Ari thinking, and Dante could help him navigate his emotions through his dad’s lost. 10% SAFE/IN-DANGER

UNKNOWN/DEPENDENT DIRECTION OF AUTHOR - Dante Quintana

Dante Quintana - Look all, I’m so sorry he’s not in the safe zone, the way of the description.... I can’t put him there. I’m so heartbroken I even think this, but I really think it won’t happen if Ben decides the route that we would all dread. However I have to display this possible outcome.

Dante is literally the boy who saves Ari’s life, the one who made him realize the universe is beautiful and that him and Ari are the best couple in El Paso. He teaches him so much, how to read advance literature, swim, all sorts of games he makes up lmao. Dante makes Ari question everything he thought of the world, Dante has that impact and he has the impact to make Ari not remember literally saving his life against a moving car. Dante loves Ari to the universe and back, Ari does as well, literally would die for each other. But the way the description says “He’ll have to fight like never before to create a life” now get this at the end: “THAT IS TRUTHFULLY, JOYFULLY HIS OWN” I’m not getting good vibes from “HIS OWN” Idk, maybe I’m reading too much into it and I’m hoping to the freaking divines that Ben doesn’t go the route of Dante potentially..... you know, I don’t even want to say it. Dante is literally the 2nd main character and we also learn so much about him, but by that phrasing, I could see a direction in which Ben takes out Dante in a permanent sense to grow Ari like never before. Like Ari would literally have to find his own direction in the world, and he would take Dante’s knowledge and personality with him in his future, he would live for Dante as he would have wanted together. I just think it wouldn’t work well and Ari doesn’t need his literal soulmate to get taken away just for an “Edgy, or growthful arc” if that makes sense. If Ben goes this route, I may never forgive him tbh, I just couldn’t if he ruined our boys like this. 100% SAFE OR 100% MOST LIKELY CANIDATE TO TAKE DEATH. DEPENDENT ON AUTHOR’S DIRECTION.

Note: if Dante is taken, I will cry and that’s a promise.

Thank you if you read this long asf post, but hopefully it can entertain you! I’m so looking forward to this book and I hope the “loss” is meaningful and not some shock factor, but its Ben so I trust him enough to make a sequel to the masterpiece that we all loved in the first place!

[satanfemme]

Val and 2, Vinyl and 7 OR 30 if seven is spoilers for clay pigeons, Volume and 14, Vaya and 21, Vamos and 4, the Girl and 5/6

2. Who do they look to for guidance? (Val)

I mean in a hero sense, party poison ofc, even if he can’t admit it. he wants to be the better party poison, so what better way to do that then look at how poison did things and “improve” those methods from that starting point as guidance.

in a more personal sense he looks to, tbh, all of the other ultra v’s. he’s not great at asking for guidance but he’ll still look to them for it in his own way. for example when he’s unsure about something he checks to see how they’re handling things, and they’re handling things better than him (and they always are) he secretly uses that as a comfort and/or a jumping off point for his own decisions.

7. Any family scandals? Does your character know about them? (Vinyl)

hmm ok I think there’s a little bit that’s still a spoiler so 🤫 but for the most part all his family scandals have already been revealed in my fics. the main ones are that his father was an exterminator and his sister was a scarecrow training to be an exterminator, which when ur a killjoy in one of the desert’s most well known crews it’s kinda a big deal. but none of the other ultra v’s really knew about this during the comics (he probably told val after the comics and, well, vaya and vamos r gonna hear at least part of it soon enough)

vinyl actually knew about both of those things the whole time though, he’d pieced things together wrt his father while he was still a kid, and altho before my fic post-comics he could only guess what happened to his sister, he knew her well enough that “escaped to scarecrow academy” was one of his top guesses. (tho secretly he always hoped she’d come to her senses and become a killjoy too at some point)

these def weighed on him like a lot in his early killjoy days. by the time the comics happened he was all but over it, but for the first few years it was very hard for him to kill any bl/i agents. it was over time that he became desensitized to it and in turn became pretty desensitized to killing in general, a la Target Practice™ for example. once he internalized “I might accidentally kill my father or my sister any time I kill someone wearing a mask, but that’s ok” it became pretty hard to get upset by any murder

30. What is their ideal sleeping situation? (Vinyl)

gonna answer this one too cause it’s easy. the ideal is always sleeping with all the other ultra v’s dog-piled on top of him (bonus: good pressure stim) OR sleeping on top of all the other ultra v’s (bonus: good pressure stim for everyone else)

14. What is something that never fails to make them excited? (Volume)

I feel like infodumping about music is an obvious but easy answer. so I’ll also say: rain. volume’s biggest problem is he gets so bored and depressed of the killjoy lifestyle so anything to break up his routine is a good thing, and rain is like perfect for that. it’s usually a surprise, it cools everything off, it’s pretty, it smells good and makes mud everywhere, it sounds good on windows, it usually means less dracs and scarecrows are out that day, what’s not to love?? 

21. Do they prefer giving or receiving gifts? (Vaya)

honestly?? receiving. they’re not selfish they just like getting stuff!! they especially like it when someone gives them something they can wear or at least something pretty they can put on display and show off. 

they also love getting new video games but those are very rare in the desert. I think the nest got a new game once or twice during their time there. both times the game was “gifted” to vaya and vamos (since they’re both the Gamers™ of the nest) and vaya LOVED it. what they weren’t told however was the “gift” was given to them under the (correct) assumption that they’d share the game with the rest of the nest. it was really a community owned game for all the killjoys to have. everyone gifting it to the twins specifically was all for show, just as an easy way to make their days hdfgf

4. Who is someone they’ve hurt? (Vamos)

oh they’re SUCH a people pleaser I don’t think there’s any cases of them genuinely hurting someone like that in my canon. sometimes they can hurt people out of their carelessness or their inability to read tone, but they’re always quickly forgiven, either because it was just a mistake (it was!) or because no one likes to see them upset (their anxiety spirals Very easily)

ofc that being said, val velocity, local asshole, doesn’t really forgive them for these things so easily. so it’s never really over anything serious but sometimes vamos will do something kinda dumb like twist an ankle doing parkour. then val gets upset that they’re not gonna be able to run for a few weeks and that’s gonna put everyone in danger. so val yells at vamos then vamos does their puppy dog eyes back, which val doesn’t accept, and the both of them get incredibly frustrated by this very quickly. the next thing you know they’re Both in a bad mood snapping at each other until someone else (usually vaya) can be like “both of you hug and make up right now or witch so help me”

5. What is a secret that they have? (The Girl)

she always kinda figured there was something up with the cat. she didn’t know it was a straight up camera, but she knew it’d likely “escaped” the city, and seemed harder to kill or injure than a normal cat, and was still just as young and perfectly healthy as she found it even after being with her for 10 or 11 years. 

but it never seemed to cause any trouble for her, and she loved it, so she kept it. and it wasn’t like a huge Secret secret before the comics, when she largely lived alone, cause who would she even be hiding this from anyway. but during the comics when val keeps talking about there being a spy and the trouble starting when she showed up?? uh oh ❤️ she kept a Very close eye on the cat then to make sure it was safe. 

then, when dr d was killed for supposedly being the spy, that kinda, uh, sucked. like she was hiding this probably-some-sort-of-wiretap-or-something-idk from everyone else just cause it was her one (1) friend for the past 12 years, and now one of her last surviving family member was dead in its place. F

6. Would they trust anyone with their secret? (The Girl)

nope! even after the comics it didn’t feel productive to tell anyone. as far as anyone else knew she found out the cat was a spy only Right Before they went into the city so no one blamed her for that, and with better living gone the cat no longer posed any threat and was just a cool pet cat so, like, what’s the problem. nothing to see here just a girl and her suspicious cat vibing

send me characters and numbers!

[hoe-imaginess]

Dabi NSFW headcanons I... need them...

I… also… need them… here… have like… forty…

Dabi

•Ok Dabi doesn’t stfu when he’s having sex. He dirty talks SO much. He can’t keep it down for even ten seconds before he’s opening his mouth to say some shit. “You gonna cum?” “You like that?” “Beg for it” “That’s fuckin’ good” “Keep it up, don’t stop” Just be quiet Dabi

•He lives for his partner’s moans and groans. If you’re quiet in bed you better learn to make some noise because he hates quiet sex

•He gets off on being deepthroated and if you can’t deepthroat, he’s going to teach you how lmao. He demands you to keep your throat open, swallow his dick down, hold it, get used to the feeling, don’t come up for air until he tells you, etc. He keeps at it until you’re a dick-sucking pro and your gag reflex is non-existent 

•But on the other hand, he does like hearing you gag on his cock so really what does he want? What IS the truth Dabi???

•Hickies. Alllll over the place. He has a bad habit of sucking on your neck until it hurts and even then, he won’t stop. Sucking and biting on necks just really turns him on? His dick gets hard from doing that alone. He doesn’t care if anyone sees the hickies on you either. None of their business 

•Expect his sexual needs to come and go. One week he may not want sex at all and will completely brush you off. Then suddenly he’s ready to screw you from dusk til dawn. He’s difficult to read 

•Far from the king of aftercare. He’ll bend you over and fuck your brains out and afterward leave you sprawled out on the bed to dry like a wet towel

•Ok maybe that’s too harsh. He’ll at least sit back with you and ask, “You good?” just to make sure he didn’t go overboard. But he’s not going to like… curl up with you and take a post-coital cuddly nap, basically. His aftercare is chill, and usually consists of teasing you or just lazing around with you

•He gets turned on by arguing. Even if it’s just petty, bantering arguments that are clearly meant to frustrate you. Honestly if you smack him in anger, he’s ready to fuck you on the spot. He just thinks it’s funny that you get so mad, and that you think you’re tough enough to do something about it (even if you are)

•Other than that, the weirdest, most random things get him hard. You’re sitting in the corner of the room, alone, to yourself, minding your own business? That’s annoying. Don’t be so quiet. Now he has to fuck you to wipe that blank look off your face 

•Honestly he loves a fuck buddy that’s normally quiet/timid/reserved ok. It makes it all the more amusing and satisfying when he makes them moan and scream in the bedroom. So yeah, if you’re sitting around acting more distant than usual it’s gonna give him ideas lmao

•He rarely ever gets all the way naked for sex, since he’s mostly into clothed, sporadic quickies 

•As kinky as Dabi is, he’s honestly not a *sex freak*. He almost never fantasizes about sex throughout the day. Doesn’t find porn sexy, doesn’t look at magazines. Even if his partner is wearing a skimpy outfit he’s like eh, whatever. That sort of stuff just doesn’t do anything for him??

•He pretty much demands eye contact when he’s getting a blowjob. He needs to see your watery eyes staring up at him while you suck his dick

•When he makes you have a shaking orgasm with his dick inside you, he’s not the type to keep fucking you through it. He stops to enjoy the view and feeling of you going all tight around his dick. But then of course he’ll keep fucking you right afterwards because he likes to mess with you when you’re hypersensitive 

•Lip kissing with Dabi is reserved for extremely intense sex sessions (rough or passionate) or when he wants to tease you. Again, he likes being a bit of a teacher in the bedroom, so if he has to teach you to make out correctly (which to him, is lip biting and lots of tongue) then he will. Which is pretty hot. If you’re too timid to get all hot and messy, he practically demands that you open your mouth so he can give you a lil tongue 

•(Who knows how he feels about his partner getting all adventurous around his lips? They may be off limits because of the scarring but?? Idk?? He’s allowed to bite lips and get all wild, but maybe his partner isn’t?? It’s a mystery. He may not want anyone near his lips at all tbh? ANYWAYS.) 

•Otherwise, during sex, his lips are usually on your neck and throat to give you the hot and wild hickies. When he’s not leaning back to watch his dick pound in and out of you, his face is just buried in your neck 

•Dabi isn’t picky, he likes tits of all shapes and sizes. Tits are tits. But if you do happen to have great tits, then please guard them with your life bc he will bite and suck them like a starved man. And grab a handful and squeeze until he makes you squeal. Someone needs to tell him that they’re sensitive and delicate, and not stress balls (maybe squeezing titty is his own version of a stress ball?? damn we really figured him out huh)

•He rarely goes down on his partner because 1. he’s a selfish prick and 2. he saves it for when he wants to really reward you/wreck you. Because honestly, that tongue is AMAZING. He knows how to work it and he knows you go crazy for it

•He’s a hair puller to a dangerous degree. He’s always yanking his partner’s head back by the hair. Obviously it’s easier for him and less painful for you if your hair is longer. If you have a ponytail, that’s an added bonus. He loves pulling on a ponytail while he’s fucking you from behind

•Will 100% slap your clit when he’s feeling sadistic

•Will also spank your ass raw without hesitation 

•OK but despite his liking for rough and kinky sex, he doesn’t get off on anything too bdsm. He’s not into utterly tormenting his partner. He’s not that brutal

•I say that yet he burns people to a crisp whenever he’s bored wow kajshdfkajsdh but villain-y stuff and sex stuff is different alright. He’ll kill a guy that bumps into him at the grocery store but he’s not going to like, cripple you during sex. Sure he’ll slap you around and give you some bruises and probably make you bleed when he’s rough, but he’s not looking to completely obliterate you. Because then he can’t fuck you properly next time obviously

•Oh and he’ll choke you for sure but not always hard enough to suffocate you

•He’s unfortunately a pull-out method extraordinaire. He just doesn’t like condoms. But because Dabi also likes creampies, if you can get knocked up, he’ll bug you about birth control so he can cum inside

•Disappointing, but Dabi usually has quiet orgasms. No loud moans or yells or shouts. He cusses a lot when he’s about to cum though

•Unless he’s getting good head: then you might get a deep, sexy groan and some panting, or one of those punch-to-the-gut grunts

•Oh and yes: sex with him is wild in a certain sense but not like… WILD? Because of the stitches and staples. If he moves too much, he’s just gonna bleed everywhere. He won’t be eager to try all kinds of different positions because of that. Usually for him it’s step 1. bend you over whatever is closest and step 2. fuck you. Still, expect him to be wiping away a drop of blood every now and then whenever you guys are done

[harrietvane]

It's that time of year! Practical Magic. Thoughts? In as much unnecessary detail as you please?

OK so while it might seem now way past that time of year, I’m here to say it’s always Owens Season in my heart. A crunchy leaf autumn is obviously peak Owens, but February is no less Owens-y. You just have to believe.

Anyway. Thoughts. Here goes: Good things about the 1998 delicious cinematic masterpiece directed by actor, Carrie Fisher BFF, and director Griffin Dunne (fun fact: he’s also Joan Didion’s nephew! The more you know.) In no particular order:

What’s a job? Seriously, does anyone do ANY work around here? Neither of the aunts do more than can be charged from the occasional desperate lovesick townie, but like how often is that? Sally has the amazingly bare-minimum aesthetic job of hanging out in her wonderfully chic store and labelling things, from time to time. That is not a retail job I’VE ever had, and I’ve had a lot. Gillian? Hell no, it’s pool parties an undefined nomadic photoshoot life for Gilly.  Husband Number One Michael pushes some crates of produce around? Sometimes? Just to be clear I LOVE THAT THIS MOVIE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT REAL-WORLD EMPLOYMENT BC THAT IS BORING. As far as it cares, you can hang out and live the witch aesthetic all day every day, braiding your hair and drying herbs, and that’s just how it is on this witch of an earth, and I WOULD ACTUALLY LOVE THAT YES THANKS. Idk, it’s an odd reaction, but just watching it gives me this ‘imagine if living was actually like this??’ vibe, quite separate from the narrative. It’s like one of those obnoxious ‘hands around tea cups/chunky sweaters’ aesthetic blogs, but like as though that was an ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL LIFE FOR AN ENTIRE 2 HOUR MOVIE. It’s extremely soothing and consistent in this regards, re: world building. Why not be someone with no reliable income who makes your own hand-pressed envelopes, go nuts. Love it.

It’s a romcom about women and love, but manages NOT to be about a specifically young single woman finding a specific singular love (ie the standard romcom narrative). Like, it still is a romcom in both genre and tone a lot of the time, but it’s about love, meaning: romantic love maybe actually coming around twice (or more), about love being between sisters, between mothers and daughters, between a community of women, with all the challenges and pains and joys of that. I mean Sally is arguably the protagonist, and she does find romantic love, but the climax of the narrative is not about her finding/saving that, it’s about her and Gillian, and it’s treated as the main relationship of the film. The big ‘oh no’ moment and the big ‘oh yes’ victory moment is all about the love between Sally and Gillian, and it’s given the same weight as a romcom would give the run to the airport moment. I mean Aidan Quinn is great but he’s quite literally an afterthought, plot beat wise.

Speaking of subverting tropes: it’s the husband who gets fridged to further a woman’s narrative. Chistopher Nolan wakes somewhere in fright. Feels good. Feel organic

Anyway THAT GRIMOIRE. Prop designs OF THE GODS. IT’S PERFECT. IT FOLDS OUT. IT HAS BOTANICAL ILLUSTRATIONS. IT’S HAND-WRITTEN. IT CAN MAKE LOVE SPELLS, OR ZOMBIES, WHATEVER YOU NEED.

and connected to that, THE HOUSE. Many many people have an obsession over the house. The kitchen, specifically. The still room (drying room/pantry). The greenhouse. The staircase. The parlour. This amazing house that does not exist because they shot it on federal lands where the filming permission stated all structures where to be temporary and removed at end of filming! It didn’t even have foundations - it was a dollshouse of a structure sitting flat on top of the earth, and it vanished in a puff of movie magic. Actually sort of perfect.

Soooooo a words on the aunts, and the curse: word of god has now clarified that Franny and Jet are sisters, so they’re actually Sally and Gilly of the previous generation, but tbh just going on the movie i feel that you can feel free to read them as Married Witches™ where Jet is the Owens and Fran is her non-Owens wife. Jet snaps ‘what about my poor Ethan’ in reference to her own tragic Cursed Dude Event, but it could be assumed by the viewer that after Ethan shuffled off this mortal, that she met Frances The Lesbian Witch and they got married. I mean if you wanted to infer that, i don’t think the movie contradicts it? If Sally and Gilly’s flashback mum was a ginger, and jet is the brunette sister, then Franny would be an in-law? Anyway, their life is amazing, which ever way you read it. But reading them as married does bring up an interesting what-if: is the curse specific to men? I’m gonna say yes. Maria was specifically abandoned by a man, and i think wording is important in both legal documents and binding curses, which are, after all, related.

speaking of the curse, I find it so tragic and interesting and PAINFUL that Maria’s curse was prompted by her grief and anger at her lover abandoning her, but she didn’t actually curse HIM. Whoever he was he probably lived out his puritan days or whatever. Her curse was directed INWARD: she caused pain to herself and her family. It’s not the townsfolk men who are cursed, it’s the Owens women. That’s what we do. That’s what we’re taught to do as a response to breakups, when they hurt us, there’s not a big societal trend of men getting killed by ex-girfriends: after a breakup we react by hurting ourselves, not them. It’s the worst curse ever because you see it and you KNOW. That curse makes SENSE. and it’s HORRIBLE.

anyway in lighter news don’t you love the Owens Aesthetically Consistent Hair Colour Siblings? They could easily have made the 2 actresses consistently styled, but hey let’s make it fun. Flashback mum, Sally and Gilly, and Kylie and Antonia - One very ginger, one very brunette: it’s so pointless, so unexplained, and therefore amazing. The less explanation the better tbh. I love it.

Did you know Jimmy isn’t even rocking that Dracula Cowboy vibe in the novel? He’s just some american dude. But I guess they cast Goran Visnjic and were like ‘…….but he’s hot being Very Extremely Croatian, so Jimmy is Croatian now’. Excellent call.

all the small magics? Not like big, hand-wavy, nose-twitchy gesture magic, but just like Sally’s tea always stirring itself, and the aunts making toast appear to support an excuse. Sally and Michael’s matchmaking spell not being explained, or being given sparkly effects, it’s just [aunts tense about the time], [bells ring], Stockard Channing gives and incredibly fake ‘…..where are you going dear?’, and you KNOW there’s magic afoot. And of course, Phone. Tree. Day. Slow clap. I love the INFERENCE rather than the overt demonstration of the small magics.

So the cut a potentially endless post short, I will always be emotional about the the comparison between the woman in the first act who comes to the house to the aunts snapping out ‘why the hell else would i come here??’ like just disgusted at even being there, being compared with the image of Margo Martindale and the other townswomen all in the Owens house at the end (especially the woman who didn’t have a broom so she brought a mini-vaccum!) and how they don’t really understand the Owens but they came just because Sally told them she was afraid, and asked for help for a woman in danger.

Lastly, the soundtrack is PERFECT. Stevie goddamn Nicks. Amazing.

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x12 “Prophet and Loss”

me: (◕︿◕✿)

i’m too soft™ for this

03:26pm

i am NOT READY in any way, shape or form

but i have a standard-quality video file and a 720p one is downloading slowly

i saw the promo video thing, dean’s phone battery died and i swear my heart died with it

i’m with cas on the “no suicide please” train

on the one hand, this is a deadly duo episode and i don’t trust them. BUT, they have been less awful recently. so. i’m like. expecting some gay. but that gay is ultimately gonna feel like queerbaiting, right?? LET’S HOPE NOT

fingers crossed for real gay, just in case i jinx it by doubting it

-

03:29

HERE GOES

-

03:31

the box underwater

THIS BETTER BE A DREAM

-

03:32

THE TERROR ON DEAN’S FACE IS MAKING MY HEART POUND I DON’T LIKE THIS ONE LITTLE BIT

-

03:33

the blood on the walls from his fingers

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

;~;

-

03:34

so far enjoying the directing here

dean’s got a red light saying nope, not changing his mind

sam’s behind him every step of the way

now sam’s trying to build a bridge between them (art on the wall)

-

03:38

just............ sitting here............. recoiling constantly from the screen while this dude does whatever he’s doing to his girl

deeply uncomfortable

-

03:41

so dean hasn’t even told cas and jack

oh man

-

03:42

OH MAN SAM ALREADY TOLD CAS

OH MAN

-

03:42

the fact dean shoulders open the bathroom door without touching it and dries his hands on his jeans is a) so beautiful, and b) so relatable

-

03:45

the guy with the knife again

i winced away from the screen so hard i pulled a muscle in my neck

goddamn i forget how wearing earbud headphones means i can’t just close my ears or move away from the distressing noise

-

03:39

sam: “if we could not have conversations that sound like deathbed apologies, i would really appreciate..”

i fricking cannot with my emotions right now

also john winchester is an asshole

-

03:56

THE SMILE

;A;

“it’s so good to hear from you!!!!”

;A; ;A; ;A;

-

03:58

dean: “so thank you, and, um........................ it’s good to hear your voice”

;~;

-

04:01

why do people say “you don’t have to do this” when tied up and in danger

i find that a strange thing to say? idk

-

04:50

more red lights

a lot of red lights in this

-

04:07

another one

-

04:14pm

switching to 720p because the download’s finally done

also do women actually wear those kinds of frilly night gowns??? or is that just what people imagine “lady life partner who died violently in the night to further the manpain” to wear

-

04:17

sarah: “you wanted him... you still do.... you didn’t come here to find peace, you came here to the place where you became one with him”

sounds gay and evil

-

04:19

sarah: “you can’t.... because you are him”

i mean that makes sense, if an angel is in a host for a long time and does the same acts over and over and feels certain emotions, the host’s brain pathways would form that way, to continue doing and feeling those things

but also i guess nick said yes in the first place, and continued to allow lucifer to use him, because he was that way inclined to begin with

......you know, by the same logic, jimmy probably had feelings for dean tbh

-

04:22

i kept expecting sarah to explode in a justified ghostly rage and set the walls on fire

but here we are..........

not with a bang but with a whimper

-

04:23

kjasdufshfsdhfhFDSKJGJDSJGSJDKGJKDJGJDJGJKGJKGDFJKKJG

this screenshot of cas is a screenshot of me reacting to this screenshot

(also the noise dean’s brain is making)

-

04:25

“doctor”

this screenshot doesn’t show the subtlety of all his movements  BUT HE’S FUCKING trying not to look THRILLED LOOK AT THAT ALMOST-SMILE OMG.

just a hair’s breadth from flustering and looking down the way he did with dr. sexy maybe??? tbh he also looks sad, he would be a lot happier if he weren’t about to lock himself in a box for eternity

the lil gulp as well ?

definitely lowkey flustered, i’m calling it

-

04:29

yup, cut to sam and the real doctor WHILE DEAN AND CAS HAVE A SILENT CONVERSATION OFF SCREEN yes/yes?

-

04:32

“oh, no. no, please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. just stop.”

he SO MAD

i love cas more than words can say

-

04:34

cas: “so then.......... this is goodbye?

THE LOOK IN THEIR EYES

MY HEART IS BREAKING OH NO

-

04:35

And then SAM INTERRUPTS

ARE YOU KIDIDNG ME

ARE YOU FSDUFVJSDGVJ ING KIDDING ME

well at least that means there’s still something to be said between them, still eternally unsaid

-

04:37

cas: “dean, if there’s a spark, a hope, then i have to try”

aaaaaaand there’s the parallel again, if cas can save donatello then he can save dean

-

04:38

YELLOW LIGHT GREEN ROOM

WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE

and of course cas was the one who, by appearing, changed everything

-

04:43

this is so stinking cute i love seeing them together doing ANYTHING AT ALL i love them both so much

-

04:44

also they talk v close and it feels v intimate

i can feel their body heat from here

-

THEY GOT CLOSER

-

04:45

I HAVE MISSED SEEING THEM TOGETHER AND NOT ANGRY OR ACTIVELY DYING

-

CAS’ LIL SMILE

-

04:47

dean: “cas’ll catch you up”

BUT IS DEAN GONNA LEAVE FOREVER AND LEAVE CAS OH NO

-

04:50

sam: “donatello never quit fighting, so we could help him, because he never gave up”

OH MAN THAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE DEPRESSION FEELS

I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE JARED THOSE LINES

-

04:51

sam: “i believe in us” *punch*

okay but i laughed and i probably shouldn’t laugh

but i did laugh

-

04:52

dean: “okay sam. let’s go home”

ok time to cry

-

04:52

dean: “but i do believe in us”

(cas walks up)

“i believe in all of us”

P E R F  E C T

-

04:54

the end screen is white from the impala lights and i’m crying this was beautiful and perfect and HOW THE FUCK DID THE DEADLY DUO PULL THIS OFF

thAT PARALLEL BETWEEN DONATELLO AND DEAN THOUGH

THAT WAS LIKE...... ACTUAL WRITING

this was great??????/ and i’m emotional??????/ more emotional that i have been for ...um, pretty much every episode for like... 2 or 3 seasons, maybe

this was a 10/10 easily

jeeeez the suicide thing and sam talking dean out of it

look

y’all know how much i love dean and cas, and seeing them in the same place at the same time

but sam’s moment at the end was the best part of this whole thing

.........but. also.

i feel like dean and cas had a scene cut. as always. there was something missing there that i feel we were promised and didn’t get. please god let us get an actual conversation between them??? about their feelings for each other????????? it kind of sickens me that we haven’t had that yet. and it’s clearly almost happening, again and again and again and it’s definitely a romance trope, interrupted before they confess their feelings

a high point: dean and sam saved the asian kid from being killed by fire, that was both good and cool and i was very relieved

i’m a bit frustrated that nick is still ... happening

but at the same time, i find nick like 350% more interesting and enjoyable to watch than lucifer

there was a lot going on in this episode, as there always is in the buckleming episodes, but i watched in stops and starts because of cats and food and the wind slamming my door and my sister texting me, so if there were pacing issues i didn’t notice. it seemed pretty smooth to me idk

but i did really enjoy this, besides the gruesome murders and latino murdery guy (who was the best friend of the older twin brother (dean parallel), technically making the murdery guy a cas parallel?) killing people in horrible ways and then killing himself :/

also dean saying the guy was a psycho and then punching him out felt a liiittle bit like “people with mental health issues are evil and dangerous” and that felt uncomfortable EVEN THOUGH the guy WAS a bad murdery sort, and the whole episode was clearly also about helping people with depression or suicidal designs for themselves.

(now i type all this out, i’m realising the underlying messages of this episode were kind of messy. just a bit.)

edit: OR maybe that was dean’s self-hatred talking

(how and why did the next prophet in line have an enochian tattoo, if the pick is random? was it just coincidence? or did he get that tattoo after donatello started whispering to him?)

sarah...... she was clearly angry, and ghosts that’ve been around a long time tend to get verrrry angry, as i recall? she could’ve done some angry ghost stuff, that would’ve been more satisfying maybe (but on the other hand, the quietness of nick’s exit was also impactful)

i enjoyed the transition of red lights and backdrops throughout the episode to yellow and white, and then the green in the room at the end

anyway. yes. really did expect more on the dean-and-cas front, but i also expected to be let down, so i don’t really know where i stand on that. i just want more of them interacting in general ;~;

next week: MORE EMOTIONS!!!! YAY

[internetdetectives]

4/22/19 - Chat with Moonman

moonman31 1:44 PM: "okay” moonman31 1:44 PM: "this is epic” Jos 1:44 PM: "Hey moonman” Mugen Kagemaru 1:44 PM: "Well, well!” Jos 1:44 PM: "high?” moonman31 1:45 PM: "Not at all” Jos 1:45 PM: "Ah” Jos 1:45 PM: "tell us whats epic” Jos 1:45 PM: ": p” moonman31 1:45 PM: ":stuck_out_tongue:” moonman31 1:45 PM: "Ascension!” Mugen Kagemaru 1:45 PM: "... What.” moonman31 1:45 PM: "Bet I had ya scared for a second” Jos 1:46 PM: "Except the part of the death, ascension is cool ?” Mugen Kagemaru 1:46 PM: "Nah, just unamused” Dense 1:46 PM: "Hey moon” moonman31 1:46 PM: "Actually I have been laying low” moonman31 1:46 PM: "I'm sure you noticed” Mugen Kagemaru 1:46 PM: "Kinda hard not to” Wolfcat 1:46 PM: "mugens balls were bursting in fear” Mugen Kagemaru 1:46 PM: "Not here boy” Mugen Kagemaru 1:46 PM: "@moonman31” Mugen Kagemaru 1:46 PM: "So what's this thing you were calling epic a few minutes ago?” Jos 1:47 PM: "ascension!” Mugen Kagemaru 1:47 PM: "Stop switching accounts, it's not funny.” moonman31 1:47 PM: "I have been spending my time professionally stalking ya boys” moonman31 1:47 PM: "and not using much internet beyond that” Mugen Kagemaru 1:47 PM: "Oh this should be good.” Mr t series good 1:48 PM: "who is axis” Mugen Kagemaru 1:48 PM: "Visitor. Pay her no mind.” moonman31 1:48 PM: "So I am basically pretty sure Nocta knows I cannot be trusted anymore 100% so I'm basically on his shitlist now since he assumes that part of the forums got posted to Dumblr” Mugen Kagemaru 1:49 PM: "Haven't seen any of that, so I dunno what drugs he's doin.” moonman31 1:49 PM: "I surprisingly think he still trust Dov though which was the point” moonman31 1:49 PM: "You need him there and I cannot really give you the inside scope anymore” Mugen Kagemaru 1:50 PM: "You never could in the first place, if I recall.” Mugen Kagemaru 1:50 PM: "Or has that restriction been lifted?” moonman31 1:50 PM: "Man you are cranky :moonman:” Dense 1:50 PM: "Oh fuck” moonman31 1:50 PM: "Ok check this” Mugen Kagemaru 1:50 PM: "Might have something to do with Wolf and Jos, but by all means, please carry on.” moonman31 1:50 PM: "I didn't mean Nocta when I said I was stalking ya boys” moonman31 1:50 PM: "I meant I've been looking into a few things about our pretty unique situation” moonman31 1:50 PM: "I had access to some stuff I can no longer access” moonman31 1:50 PM: "Secret website shit” moonman31 1:50 PM: "I'm not an elite hacker but there's a subspace of the observatory for all the neato cult stuff you all suspect is there anyway” moonman31 1:50 PM: "And I was reading some garbage about parallelos and stuff is making a whole lot more sense” Mugen Kagemaru 1:53 PM: "Oh shit son” Dense 1:53 PM: "Damn” Dense 1:53 PM: "Wich means” moonman31 1:54 PM: "But the most immediate concern for y'all is what's up with my alt handle in your place” Mugen Kagemaru 1:54 PM: "Exactly right, Dense” Dense 1:54 PM: "Nocta is 100% ascended” moonman31 1:54 PM: "Greth” Dense 1:54 PM: "Ohfuck” Dense 1:54 PM: "U rite where da fuck is greth” Jos 1:54 PM: "Im back” Dense 1:55 PM: "Joso” Mugen Kagemaru 1:55 PM: "That account's been active in my abse - Wait what?” Jos 1:55 PM: "No im back” Jos 1:55 PM: "tell me dense” moonman31 1:55 PM: "I'm pretty sure from some email snippets that shit is about to get heavy but I literally don't understand what the fuck they were talking about” Dense 1:55 PM: "Just hi” moonman31 1:55 PM: "Just they were talking about it a LOT” moonman31 1:55 PM: "and it seemed bad” Jos 1:55 PM: "Hi brother” Mugen Kagemaru 1:55 PM: "I was gonna say, it was inactive up to when I left, but y'all are saying it's not there no more?” moonman31 1:56 PM: "That's the first bit of news” Jos 1:56 PM: "So, another subpage, the forums is a subpage, as there is one hidden huh” moonman31 1:56 PM: "The second bit of news is an apology” moonman31 1:56 PM: "For the bots.” Mr t series good 1:57 PM: "that was you huh” moonman31 1:57 PM: "I needed to slow down nocta so I literally invited scambots” moonman31 1:57 PM: "sorro.” Dense 1:57 PM: "Oh shit” Mugen Kagemaru 1:57 PM: "@Jos More like the forums are the surface page and this LC shit is a subpage.” Dense 1:57 PM: "So it was you” Jos 1:57 PM: "That is a good strategy” Wolfcat 1:57 PM: "no need to apologize” Wolfcat 1:57 PM: "thanks for the local russian hookers” Jos 1:58 PM: "Can you send spam bots to luna to slow her down jk” moonman31 1:58 PM: "The problem is I never had control of them per se but at least it worked for a while” Mugen Kagemaru 1:58 PM: "So how much can you tell us, whether it makes sense or not, about what they're talking about in this subpage?” Mugen Kagemaru 1:58 PM: "Like maybe we can interpret” moonman31 1:58 PM: "Something is going to happen with some sort of agent of Luna” Mugen Kagemaru 1:59 PM: "Did they say what and whom? I know it likely doesn't make sense, but did they actually say it?” moonman31 1:59 PM: "They want to bring the final piece of the puzzle into place” Mugen Kagemaru 1:59 PM: "Hmm…” moonman31 1:59 PM: "I know it involves the parallelos” Jos 1:59 PM: "Tyler is already taken i guess” Mugen Kagemaru 2:00 PM: "Bruh I get it, it don't make sense, but maybe they actually said the words?” moonman31 2:00 PM: "I was never fully indoctrinated as you might say so I was pretty much at the same level as Dov” Mugen Kagemaru 2:00 PM: "Meaning you won't tell us what they said literally because it doesn't make sense. Fine, whatever. We'll move on.” moonman31 2:00 PM: "I know the real hard core cult is nocta, yuuki, kaiden” moonman31 2:00 PM: "Samuel too” Mugen Kagemaru 2:01 PM: "Welp, that's not good.” Jos 2:01 PM: "Hoax is just there, in the middle…” Wolfcat 2:01 PM: "Damn” Wolfcat 2:01 PM: "whats up with yuuki” Wolfcat 2:01 PM: "she sent me a weirdass PM just saying "thewoods" like 100+ times” moonman31 2:01 PM: "She's been around on discord but neither of us has posted” moonman31 2:01 PM: "I think she's conflicted on some things” Jos 2:02 PM: "Why all the waifus turns out to be dangerous” Mugen Kagemaru 2:02 PM: "@Wolfcat“ Mugen Kagemaru 2:02 PM: "I remember that, when was it again?” Wolfcat 2:02 PM: "sometime in february” Mugen Kagemaru 2:02 PM: "Hmm…” Jos 2:02 PM: "when the haunted house gif was a thing” Wolfcat 2:02 PM: "also im guessing you can't just show us this "subspace" on AO right” Mugen Kagemaru 2:03 PM: "Yeah she said when she went to the house she learned things about The Truth that she didn't know before, which is why I thought it was dangerous for the pics to be shared carelessly.” moonman31 2:03 PM: "I mean possibly” moonman31 2:03 PM: "Actually” moonman31 2:03 PM: "but I'd need time to figure out the new password” Mugen Kagemaru 2:04 PM: "That implies it can already be seen by normal users…” Wolfcat 2:05 PM: "just got a weird PM: " from nocta” Wolfcat 2:05 PM: “"Tengo un diablo en mis pantalones"” Wolfcat 2:05 PM: “wait nvm that was from jos my bad” Mugen Kagemaru 2:06 PM: "..." Mexican Nocta 2:06 PM: "Me cachis” Mexican Nocta 2:06 PM: "me equivoque” Mexican Nocta 2:06 PM: "buenas tardes” Mugen Kagemaru 2:06 PM: "•headdesk•” Jos 2:07 PM: "Wrong multiverse brother” Mr t series good 2:08 PM: "mugen losing hope as always” moonman31 2:09 PM: “”mugen losing hope as always”” moonman31 2:09 PM: "a motivational poster” Jos 2:09 PM: "i must print one of those” Jos 2:10 PM: "So yeah, I had the feeling the forums were just a façade” moonman31 2:10 PM: "not really” moonman31 2:10 PM: "more like a recruitment tool” moonman31 2:10 PM: "but uh I had experience with the Moon Children as you know so the things set of my alarms big time and I wanted in to go undercover and it worked for a long ass time” moonman31 2:10 PM: "I think I'm blown now though” Mr t series good 2:12 PM: "F” moonman31 2:12 PM: "F” Jos 2:12 PM: "Will try to find this, true webpage, there must be a connection somewhere” moonman31 2:13 PM: "technically speaking I'm still an Astral Child” moonman31 2:13 PM: "but I have a feeling this is going to come to a bad place soon” moonman31 2:13 PM: "since I'm obviously some kind of traitor” Mugen Kagemaru 2:13 PM: "Yeah man you may wanna run for it and keep away from their places.” moonman31 2:13 PM: "that's the idea Jos 2:14 PM: "And develop somekind of telepathic resistance, you know their powers” Jos 2:14 PM: "i tried” moonman31 2:15 PM: "you should also know there used to be a bunch more members of the forums that have not rejoined” Jos 2:16 PM: "I guess Samuel is one of them” moonman31 2:16 PM: "that concerns me, it's been a longass time since we've been back” moonman31 2:16 PM: "I mean at least he has an account?” Jos 2:16 PM: "Yeah” Jos 2:16 PM: "This is weird” Jos 2:16 PM: "But i hope the cult didn't do anything to silence them…” Jos 2:16 PM: "for x reason” Wolfcat 2:18 PM: "i might have asked this already i not sure tbh” Wolfcat 2:18 PM: "but do you know exactly what was happening in the vid you uploaded to greth vlogs” Wolfcat 2:18 PM: "like who was the lady in that vid” moonman31 2:19 PM: "Yeah that was something I grabbed from the site” moonman31 2:19 PM: "I was still trying to let you know I was feeding info without tipping off nocta” moonman31 2:19 PM: "but that was the point where he started monitoring my traffic” moonman31 2:19 PM: "shit was cash i got a vpn” moonman31 2:19 PM: "that only worked for so long” Jos 2:20 PM: "The thing is that this lady knew where to go, she had to give signs to this Greth to reach the place, whatever it is, i think the lady knows more” Wolfcat 2:20 PM: "i suspected it might have been yuuki :thinking:” Jos 2:20 PM: "Well, Nocta is theorized to be this being capable to controling electronic stuff, you could hide everything, but if he can sense it... its hard” moonman31 2:21 PM: "uh what” moonman31 2:21 PM: "idk about all that he owns the domain and forums so he probably just started intensely watching IPs” moonman31 2:21 PM: "which he did after I uploaded that vid by getting into that youtube account” moonman31 2:21 PM: "so in retaliation I flooded the place with scambots” moonman31 2:21 PM: "and used a vpn to blend in” moonman31 2:21 PM: "but that only worked for so long” Jos 2:22 PM: ""30 hot chicks near 21 km, what are you waiting for? click here"” Mugen Kagemaru 2:23 PM: "@moonman31 But yeah do you know who's who in the video?” moonman31 2:23 PM: "no clue” moonman31 2:23 PM: "I just grabbed the file off the server because it seemed important and chucked it your way” moonman31 2:23 PM: "the stuff i was seeing vs what I could directly share was always in conflict” moonman31 2:23 PM: "I knew the instant I finally gave you a file or two” moonman31 2:23 PM: "the war between the traitor and nocta would escalate” moonman31 2:23 PM: "and that's exactly what happened” Mugen Kagemaru 2:25 PM: "Wait that's a new thing” Mugen Kagemaru 2:25 PM: "Who's this traitor you're talking about?” Jos 2:25 PM: "moonman” moonman31 2:25 PM: "...” Mugen Kagemaru 2:25 PM: "I've been out of the loop lately” Jos 2:25 PM: "he just said it top there” Jos 2:25 PM: "he is a traitor to the astral children” Mugen Kagemaru 2:25 PM: "A'ight a'ight” moonman31 2:26 PM: "We're not 'the Astral Children'” Mugen Kagemaru 2:26 PM: "You used that phrase though” moonman31 2:26 PM: "no, cult members self identify as an Astral Child” Mugen Kagemaru 2:26 PM: "Anyway, like I said, I've been out of the loop, seemed like something these guys learned after I left.” Jos 2:26 PM: "okay” moonman31 2:26 PM: "'I am an Astral Child'” moonman31 2:26 PM: "but we are the Astral Observatory” Wolfcat 2:29 PM: "More like the Ass observatory” Wolfcat 2:29 PM: "but forreal tho” Mugen Kagemaru 2:29 PM: "That's more referring to that one thing Eve has.” Wolfcat 2:30 PM: "Ass?” Mr t series good 2:30 PM: "Uh, i dont know what you on about” Mugen Kagemaru 2:30 PM: "@Wolfcat Asstral Observatory” moonman31 2:32 PM: "I'm still waiting for this one guy to join” moonman31 2:32 PM: "he had the best selfies to meme” Mugen Kagemaru 2:33 PM: "Oh? What's the name, we'll watch for him too” moonman31 2:33 PM: "IsoscelesAssassin” Mugen Kagemaru 2:34 PM: "Better than "ScaleneKiller"” Mr t series good 2:34 PM: ":rofl:” moonman31 2:34 PM: "There was also the Spanish guy” Mr t series good 2:34 PM: "spanish guy?” Mr t series good 2:34 PM: ”:thinking:” moonman31 2:35 PM: "Yeah I don't remember his handle though” Mugen Kagemaru 2:35 PM: "Jordi something, I think. (Kidding)” moonman31 2:35 PM: "no” Mr t series good 2:35 PM: ":joy:” Mugen Kagemaru 2:35 PM: "I'm kidding, dude.” Jos 2:35 PM: "jos, dense,,” Jos 2:35 PM: "Ummm” Jos 2:35 PM: "thinking” Mr t series good 2:35 PM: "well i guess we dont know that spanish guy” moonman31 2:35 PM: "oh, pardon, if that was a reference™ I didn't get it” Jos 2:36 PM: "jacobtheguy” Mugen Kagemaru 2:36 PM: "More of a joke, and don't worry, we'll explain someday” Jos 2:36 PM: "idk” Mugen Kagemaru 2:36 PM: "You're not the only one under restrictions”

[captaincanarygotmelike]

CC Scene Compilation!!!

LINK

Okay so this has all been a lot, but I finally have the CC scene compilation ready!!! Thank you to those who sent suggestions about how to upload it because it was a challenge, and it is available here as well as the link above. It is quite lengthy, and like I said, there are some serious stretches so below the cut (bc it’s literally five pages in a doc and I’m 10/10 not gonna take up your feed with it) is a commentary of sorts that sorta resembles my old snapchat recaps. Anyway I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope you enjoy watching it!

0:00 - how fucking dARE THEY delete this scene

0:21 - you can’t tell me he isn’t checking her out aLSO birth of killer, klepto, and pyro

0:44 - walk walk fashion baby

1:00 - OKAY i have so much to say about this scene here we go

          1) captain canary song

          2) len and mick’s expressions

                2a) mick already knows len’s in trouble

          3) can we talk about how fuckin dramatic len is like mick paid two whole dollars for those beers you did not need to throw them onto   the ground with such passion

2:40 - i know people have said this before but when ray says “whats the point of us even giving this a second thought” hE LOOKS RIGHT AT SARA

3:01 - the way i cut these scenes makes it look like it’s not cut at all whoops but also len is saying a wedding thing cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

3:28 - i’m laughing so hard look at how his expression changes when he’s talking to sara vs carter

3:48 - in sync

3:57 - look at rip’s expression when len leans down to sara he knows somethings up

5:10 - i literally just put this in bc it’s super badass

5:24 - prison break reference #687574848 also their fckn expressions at *5:59* like subtlety is not their strong suit

6:03 - it took until 1x5 to get a one-on-one CC scene like wtf is up with that also *7:10* THE WAY HE SAYS HER NAME also *7:11* birth of crook/assassin

7:23 - what a good husband trying to stop her from killing one of their teammates #relationshipgoals

8:00 - Sara is backseat driving as a fuckn corpse and I can’t handle it

8:52 - gimme a second this scene will make sense here i swear

9:29 - to continue WHAT A FCKN HYPOCRITE he wanted mick to leave ray in a whole russian gulag but he’s super chill about leaving mick in the middle of rampaging prisoners to find sara yes this is indeed a callout post

9:40 - what a good husband pt. 2 also absent rip ex machina

10:26 - the way len looks at her literally destroys me

10:35 - acknowledging the husband’s achievements

10:51 - i put more of the scene in than i needed to bc the convo between rip/mick makes me laugh every time aLSO len and sara are talking about the in-laws

11:15 - len is all chill and then when not-slade mentions sara he’s like dafuq did you say

11:35 - the way sara looks at him i can’t handle it

11:58 - first of all, everything mick does is mood, second of all look at them playing cards

12:35 - eYE SEX 

13:23 - once again i cut two scenes to look like-ish one but the way she looks at him i can’t handle it

13:51 - okay so i’m not a doctor or anything involving medical anything but why are they gonna die? hypothermia? this is a lot of drama about a room that’s uncomfortably cold also if gideon knows that two team people are gonna die if the door doesn’t open, she should be able to open the doors. she says that “the bulkhead is designed to stay shut” but isn’t she the “designer”? like can’t she just change or override the code or whatever? okay rant over

14:16 - aww look at them bonding also *15:00* Sara you’re lYING

15:53 - okay i feel like they’re dragging this out a long time but aLSO SOMEONE tell me there’s a fic of when Len gives sara his jacket ALSO isn’t this about when Len switches over to wearing just a normal leather jacket cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

16:43 - Sara’s expression i literally can’t aLSO *17:00* nOBODY can tell me he looked back at aNYBODY except Sara

17:11 - once again this will make sense in just a moment alSO note that at the end of the scene *17:39* captain out-cold is still lying in a fckn heap on the floor

17:40 - this means that Leonard somehow dragged himself to wherever the fuck mick and sara are to help her i mean like when i fall up the stairs i always have to take a second and be like am i okay? did i survive this? and literally seconds ago he was unconscious or something yet here he is and if that isn’t love idk what is

17:51 - okay i swear len and sara are looking at each other over the holo table

18:07 - i literally just put this in because of how he says her name

18:16 - aww he did the thing where you’re looking at someone and then they look over and you pretend you weren’t checking them out

18:20 - first of all why the fUCK is rip putting in those eye things FIVE FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARD HE DID NOT COME PREPARED also that look between len and sara like are they married or what

19:04 - this banter i can’t handle it also rip is so done with them

19:40 - they’re finishing each other’s sentences

19:52 - she’s talking about her husband

20:22 - guys this is probably my favorite cc scene no joke

20:25 - okay so i don’t remember why i put this scene in but they’re standing really close to each other and i’m here for it

21:34 -  look at them fighting this is relationship goals

21:45 - captain “let’s all just calm down” my ass this is another of my favorite scenes like he’s normally so chilled out (pun intended) but then he sees sara in danger and he’s like uh fuck no

23:04 - first of all the cut at 23:12 is the worst editing i’ve ever seen like how did they get away with that they’re literally standing in completely different places but also LOOK AT LEN’S SMILE AT SARA PLAYING WITH THE GUN

23:37 - is this not the most badass thing you’ve ever seen

23:49 - sara crossing her fingers is fckn adorable and also len looks over to her don’t even argue with me about it

23:55 - the banter i can’t handle it

24:04 - okay so this might be a biiiit of a stretch BUT i sWEAR len is checking out sara’s ass look out i’m gonna get scientific here but considering how far he had to look over to watch stein there is no way he was looking at the holo table just sayin

24:18 - kendra knows things also this whole scene is adorable

25:06 - i don’t remember why i thought this was a cc scene but they’re together and i’m 10/10 here for it

25:12 - they’re talking about the in-laws again

25:20 - height difference

25:33 - i spy a bit of jealousy

25:46 - listen to the marital banter

25:55 - someone save me from this scene there’s like nine seats around them and sara chose to sit on the ground where she’s closer to len and also they’re passing the bottle back and forth and they look like a goddamned married couple and i cAN’T HANDLE IT

27:19 - killer klepto and pyro back at it again

28:16 - this implies that he’s tried to distract her in the past and all i can say is where’s the fic?

28:36 - guys i have so much to say about this scene and i already have here but i sWEAR TO GOD its the scene sara realizes she’s in love with len you can fight me on this aLSO gideon is an asshole

30:32 - banter game real strong

31:00 - this is starting to make me so sad bc i just feel like there’s a such a strong connection between the two of them here and then it all blows up (too soon) but also their little smiles at the end of the scene is so freakin cute i can’t handle it

32:08 - sara keeps looking over at len also he’s finishing her sentences and also ray came here to have a good time and honestly he’s feeling so attacked rn (although tbh nobody is hitting him that hard) also sara’s smile at the end in conclusion this scene is hella underrated

34:08 - okay this scene is too much for me but also to all the people who said “it came out of nowhere” like first of all wtf were you even watching the last 14 episodes? but also i think len’s line “it’s the things i didn’t do that keep me up at night” is the perfect way to be like hey so this was going on but len doesn’t like to talk about his feelings okay so this scene is too much for me and his smile at the end is hurting me

35:25 - guys i’m not ready

35:43 - guys i’m actually crying like it’s so not fair that we got to see len become such a good person and i know i’m biased but i truly believe that captain canary was the best developed ship we’ve ever had on the show and it sucks so hard that we never got to see them in an actual relationship like i really feel like it would have been so good but it literally never got mentioned again after this episode like even in 1x16 like wtf is up with that anyway sorry i’m ending this on such a sad note but literally all i want in life is just a bit more CC before the show eventually ends like is that too much to ask for

also i didn’t put in the scene where the oculus blows up bc look did it actually ever happen idk

[archivestoriescrafted]

MUSE INFO   —   LORELAI VICTORIA GILMORE.

formerly found at: lorelaithesecond && infinitebabbler.

all information outlined below is based in the latest possible information,  and can vary by verse.  some of it is headcanon based,  and has developed over the last 2+ years of me writing lorelai.  anything noted with a * is based on personal headcanons.

FACECLAIM(s):  lauren graham,  joey king,  raffey cassidy,  &&  kaya scodelario. PLACE OF BIRTH:  hartford,  connecticut. CURRENT RESIDENCE:  stars hollow,  connecticut. DATE OF BIRTH:  april 26th, 1968;  age  —  50. HEIGHT:  5′8″ EYE COLOR:  blue. HAIR COLOR:  brown. PARENTS:   richard gilmore  (father,  deceased).   emily gilmore  (mother).   SPOUSE:  christopher hayden (divorced),  luke danes. CHILDREN:   lorelai ‘rory’ leigh gilmore. EDUCATION:   ged,  harford business college. PAST OCCUPATIONS:  maid,  front desk manager,  executive manager;  independence inn. CURRENT OCCUPATION:  co-owner,  executive manager;  dragonfly inn. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  heterosexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  heteroromantic.

IMPORTANT CANON RELATIONSHIPS:  rory gilmore (daughter),  mia bass (friend, maternal figure),  luke danes (husband),  emily gilmore (mother),  richard gilmore (father),  sookie st. james (best friend, business partner),  michel gerard (friend, co-worker),  christopher hayden (childhood love, ex-husband),  max medina (ex-fiance),  jason stiles (childhood friend, ex-boyfriend),  alex lesman (ex-boyfriend),  lorelai ‘trix’ gilmore (grandmother),  jess mariano (they’re friends and i’ll fight everyone on this, nephew by marriage),  doula danes (niece by marriage),  april nardini (step-daughter),  babette & morey dell (next-door-neighbors),  kirk gleason (basically her son-figure tbh),  the entire town of stars hollow (friends).

IMPORTANT PORTRAYAL BASED RELATIONSHIPS:  josh lyman (childhood best friend, sometimes boyfriend, @gcsticulatingwildly​),  maggie rhee (apocalypse bud, @gritblood; exclusive to twd au).

her daughter,  rory,  was born when lorelai was 16.

at 17,  lorelai left hartford with rory,  and they ended up in stars hollow.  cut off contact with everyone from her ‘past life’ at this point.

was taken in by mia bass,  owner of the independence inn,  who gave lorelai a job,  and a place to live.

worked her way up from maid to executive manager over 10 years.

at 26,  lorelai bought an actual house in stars hollow,  and became more participant in town events.

undiagnosed,  but on the autism spectrum*.

until the age of 32,  lorelai only visited her parents for holidays.  when rory began private school,  lorelai had to borrow money for tuition,  and as a condition of the loan began attending friday night dinners.

at 32,  she dated && became engaged to rory’s teacher, max medina, though she called the wedding off.

bitter about the fact that she’s never won the stars hollow 24 hour dance contest,  and regularly comes in second place (this is super important ok shh).

coffee and junk food enthusiast.  a source of contention with local diner owner,  on-and-off boyfriend, and eventual husband luke danes.

talented seamstress / generally great at art.

idk there’s a Lot i’ll add more later but this is all that seems even semi important right now?

VERSES UNDER THE CUT!

childhood!

a verse that encompasses lorelai’s childhood,  from ages 5-12.  fcs:  joey king & raffey cassidy.

teen!

a verse that encompasses lorelai’s teenage years,  from ages 12-19.  fcs:  raffey cassidy & kara scodelario.

pre series!

a verse encompassing anything that occurs before the show begins.  fcs:  kaya scodelario & lauren graham.

main 001!

a verse encompassing seasons 1 to 7 of gilmore girls,  default main verse.  fc:  lauren graham.

pre revival!

this verse encompasses anything that occurs post seasons 1-7 of gilmore girls, but before the revival. tends to be somewhat canon divergent.  fc:  lauren graham.

revival!

this verse encompasses anything that occurs during gilmore girls: a year in the life,  though i’ll only use it on request,  as i’m Mad about a lot of things.  fc:  lauren graham.

post series au!

a verse that diverges from ‘canon’ following season 7,  and contains some divergences from s7,  to be elaborated on later.  link to post will be added once added.  main verse for post series interactions.  fc: lauren graham.

hogwarts au!

lorelai comes from a long line of pureblood slytherins, so it’s certainly no surprise when she’s also sorted into slytherin. she’s always been ambitious, with a sharp wit, though she feels like a bit of an outsider among her housemates. fcs: raffey cassidy & kaya scodelario.

stranger things!

the gilmore family are among the more elite in hawkins, but that doesn’t mean their daughter’s any less bored living in such a small town. she doesn’t care for the high-class life, choosing rather to spend the majority of her time at the arcade, or listening to the latest music. rebelling is her forte, and lorelai can often be found sneaking out at night, getting into any trouble she can to make her life more interesting. of course, there are whispers of strange things happening around town, and she’s determined to learn more. ages: 15 -17.  fcs:  raffey cassidy & kaya scodelario.

au w/ struckstars!

a verse in which luke and lorelai meet soon after lorelai moves to stars hollow, and fall for each other almost immediately. within months, they’ve moved in together, and within two years they’re engaged and expecting a kid of their own.  private w/ struckstars.  fc:  kara scodelario.

the walking dead!

things aren’t great in the beginning. how can they be, when the world’s falling apart around you? when friends and loved ones are dropping like flies, only to rise again and try and eat you. lorelai gilmore has always preferred to keep horror inside the movies, thank you very much. at first she refuses to accept the new reality of the world —- no one really knows what’s going on, anyway, so maybe it’ll all be fixed soon enough. it doesn’t take long, though, to realize that it’s not going to be fixed. and a small town like stars hollow? while safer than most, it isn’t going to be secure forever. so a small group sets out: lorelai, luke, rory, a few able bodied others with a desire to seek out someplace safer. but it’s no secret the gilmore girls have never been those for ‘roughing it’, and without the promise of a lasting supply of coffee, or even a decent sized wardrobe, it’s a wonder either is able to survive for long. months pass, their numbers dwindle, and the small group crosses paths with another in virginia. while lorelai’s begun to truly adapt to the realities of the world now that it’s practically ruled by the undead, it’s soon made clear that she’s got nothing on this new group of survivors, but maybe they’ve got plenty to teach. with danger lurking around every corner, it doesn’t seem like it’s ever too late to learn.  fc:  lauren graham.

au 001!

early 1984,  she’s not even 16 yet,  but things are changing quickly.  it doesn’t take long to realize she’s pregnant once her jeans start feeling a little tighter,  and the constant sick feeling sets in whenever she’s in a room with a woman wearing too much perfume   (   she’ll insist that’s always been the case,  particularly with her mother’s favored chanel number five,  but….  never to this degree   ).  

she begins to plan the moment she finally convinces herself to look at the test she’d bought only moments prior at a drugstore several miles from hartford   (   she can’t take it at home,  or anywhere nearby  —  people talk in hartford,  and she knows there are those in her mother’s employ who go through the garbage,  so she can’t risk it   ).   she can’t stick around.  her parents barely tolerate her as it is,  and christopher’s parents rarely try to mask their blatant distaste.  she’s different.  she always has been,  and she knows it.  maybe she’d dreamed of going to yale once,  but those dreams had faded a long time ago.  it’s not what she wants.  she’s smart,  sure,  she could get in.  even without her family’s name backing her up,  she could get in.  but now she wants to even less than she had before.  it’s like a weight is lifted from her shoulders the moment the decision’s made.

she slips away in the evening,  a week later,  while her parents are out.  with two suitcases packed with her favorite clothes,  and a backpack filled with the allowances she’s saved up for years,  she’s ready for independence.  she finds it in a little town:  stars hollow.  she finds a job,  a home,  a woman who treats her more like a daughter than her parents ever did.  several months later,  she gives birth to a daughter and she knows she’d made the right choice.  her life is full,  her heart is full,  and while things are hard,  lorelai never once looks back.

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 2 Review: Incendiary Incidents

(Old Blog Repost)

Last time, not a lot happened other than going out for food, Donut unlocking his true potential as a contortionist, and alien Norse Gods are a thing that exist. Nothing that unusual for this show. We got the setup, so what’ll they do with it now as the pizza quest continues? Lets find out!

Overview

To the shock of no one, Grif crashed the ship. He rushes everyone through the insults and sidenote to Kai’s… so does she actually have regular contact with their mom? Makes me really wonder about where Grif stands with his family. Anyways, good news is the pizza place isn’t far off! They just have to go through some ominous woods! Grif however opts to go through the less than ominous woods which would take longer, but isn’t… well, ominous. This gets Simmons attention. Enough that, as they make their way through, he pulls Grif aside to find out what his deal is. My shipping heart is happy to see Simmons noticing that something’s not right with his not-boyfriend and getting to the bottom of it… please tell me I didn’t accidentally write an innuendo,

So you knwo that ‘new science’ Grif mentioned last episode? Well here’s that new science: laziness… sort of! So when stuck on the moon (I THINK he called it Iris? So… after Michael and Lindsay’s daughter/Geoff’s goddaughter? AWW!), Grif found a book that Jax left behind about story structure. He found out about ‘incendiary incidents’, which are incidents that jumpstart a plot essentially I tried to look it up to see if that’s an actual term… and all I got was a bunch of fire safety websites. But I’ll take Joe’s word for it and say it’s an actual term. So Grif cutting off Jensen before, crashing the ship deliberately as it turns out due to a message from Locus, and avoiding the ominous woods is to avoid getting into an incident that would jumpstart a plot, and therefore lead them into another adventure. IDK if this is clever fourth wall breaking but… wow. WOW. Even Simmons gets chocked up about how much effort Grif put into doing nothing. It’s counterproductive when you think about it, but still!

Unfortunately for Grif, he IS in a webshow with plot structure and the powers to be aren’t going to let them get out of it that easy. Caboose discovered a glowing lake. And a figure emerges form it. Now the episode summary describes a thought to be deceased team member returning. Oh my Gd, that… that’s crazy! It could anyone! But why?! Tex? Flowers? Shelia? Church? Alpha Church? Yellow Church?! The guy who got killed during one of those 360 videos?! The possibilities are endless! It could be anyone! Who knows what kind of shocking twist it cou.. it’s Donut. Who we all knew was alive. Yeah… well I’ll give them this, it had me hyped for the episode.

So Donut… Jesus Christ. No, seriously, Donut is now Jesus. He walked ont he water for crying out loud! Donut says that he had been taken through time and that they have to go into the past to stop a great danger… and absolutely no one buys it. Now to be fair, Simmons makes a good point later. They already went through a time travel story and it turns out it was just a simulation. So them being skeptical about this happening again, especially since only Caboose saw the body horror last episode and I imagine that he forgot by now, is pretty understandable. But yeah no one buys it and Grif feels relieved about avoiding the story bomb… until Simmons points out that refusing the call is an actual story trope. See Grif? There’s no escaping!

So the Reds and Blues make it to ton and… yeah, it’s been totaled. After talking to Jeremy Dooley… I-I mean a cop… no, I’m 90% sure that was Jeremy. Anyways! After that, Donut tries to convince them of time travel again, and this time has actual proof. He has this new gun which he uses to open a portal to a few days earlier. How did he get this? Well to put it simply, after he got hit by Loco’s machine he got sent back in time and his body got wrecked, but God found him and fixed him. IDK if he means the Christian God or one of these alien Gods, but they’ve picked the Reds and Blues to be his time traveling warriors and has sent back four more guns for them to use to go back in time with. The portals can also only fit two grown humans at once.

Unfortunately, things go downhill quickly. So you guys remember the four armed guy from the trailer? Well the sky goes dark and he appears… oh sorry, typed that wrong. I mean that SHE appears. Yes everyone, we have a legit female villain at last!! I couldn’t get her name, but part of it sounded like Callie… which is my name… UGH… anyways! Yeah, she starts causing chaos and destruction. Donut uses a bubble shield, telling the others to use the portal guns and get away. They comply with everyone pairing off: Cabbose and Lopez, Tucker and Sister, Grif and Doc, and Sarge and Simmons. Donut remains behind, though I assume that he’ll follow them later. Huggins, who has been following the group, chases after Grif and Doc by going through their portal. We follow Sarge and Simmons as they land in… what looks like ancient Egypt. Could be wrong, but we’ll have to wait and find out cause that’s the end of the episode!

Review

Well all of that escalated quickly!

So… gonna talk about Grif first! Cause yes, he’s getting a character arc! I mean I guess it could have ended here since his plan failed, but since Huggins went after him and Doc we could get something on that front. Anyways, so I was right and Grif is actively trying to keep them out of getting into adventures. To the point that he’s putting effort into maintaining laziness… that’s the kind of logic I expect form this show. It wasn’t how I expected it, but I expected it. It’s also good to see that he does still have some hangups from the moon. He seems a lot more… what’s the word? High-strung than normal? He’s also still talking in pretty large bursts compared to normal. I don’t know if that’s just me reading into it too much, but it seems like Joe is trying to show that Grif still has hangups from his self-exile. Which hey, if it means more Grif focus, I am not complaining!

The episode is more about plot than the last one. Last week was the setup, and now the payoff is here. So first, Donut. He was written SO WELL. One of the issues last season was that Donut was pretty much a background prop and they even forgot to put him in scenes. Joe must have realized that this was a problem cause he’s already fixing it BIG TIME. Donut’s had shit happen man! He comes off as slightly mroe serious and competent in a sense that he actually knows the gravity of the situation. But he still feels and acts like Donut, which is good! It shows that he CAN be useful and competent, but without sacrificing his personality. Heck he only spouted out one innuendo and it was just to prove that it was really him. I am digging this new direction!

So turns out that the four armed guy si a terrifying alien goddess of death… I dig it! So someone pointed out that this character is similar to Hela from Thor: Ragnarok. SO it REALLY seems like Joe is basing the villain off Norse mythology… or just the Marvel Cinematic Universe verisons of them. Either way is fine. So I’m not sure if… Kali-Ra I think is her name? Anyways it doesn’t seem like she’s with the same group as Huggins cause I imagine that she would have reacted. I also don’t think that this chick is the main villain since DOnut referred to a ‘devil man’, but still she is terrifying and badass and I LOVE it. We finally got a female main villain guys! Joe is the hero we’ve waited for! Yay! Also Sarge asking he rot marry him, Of course he’d want to marry a violent death goddess… I’ll totes ship this!

Alright, time travel! SO ever since Joe mentioned it in that post a while ago, I’ve… been skeptical. Time travel in pretty much every show tends to be confusing and create tons of plot holes. It even happened in RvB before with Season 3 before Burnie retconned it as a simulation. Didn’t save my head from imploding, but still that’s a fair excuse. Hopefully Joe has a VERY good idea on what he’s doing with this, but I’ve been warming up to the idea since then. It’ll be fun to see the guys in different time periods at least! Form how it looks, Sarge and Simmons may go tomb raiding it it really is Ancient Egypt. I mean Sarge vs mummies, there is no way that cannot be epic!

So the gang is being split up, and the pairs are interesting! Sarge and Simmons sin’t that much of a surprise and tbf it’s been a long time since they had some one-on-one time. Simmons has also grown out of being a kissass quite a bit, so it’ll be interesting to see how that goes. Caboose and Lopez are together… so I’ just going to assume that in every animated RT production, Burnie is just meant to be stuck with/get annoyed with Joel in one way or another. Cause that is the impression I’m getting. Tucker and Sister are together, so I imagine flirting… okay I’m good with that! Hopefully Sister gets some focus to herself that isn’t just Tucker trying to hit on her, but still I’m good with this!

And finally Grif and Doc… that one is gonna be interesting. Grif in particular seems very grudgey against Doc for the betrayal and we just saw Doc save Grif form getting crushed by tackling him into the portal. Which props to Doc for that BTW. Still with that and since they’re 100 on an adventure now, Grif’s not gonna be a happy camper. Also if O’Malley gets active and starts going into Grif’s past issues like in S13, I… imagine that’ll be rough for our favorite orange boy. Also Huggins chased after them, so I assume that they’ll be discovering her soon. Which if she pals up with them…t hat could be really cute tbh! I am all for Grif and Doc shenanigans with a a ball of light! But yeah, this could lead to a LOT of things and I’m very interested in seeing how this plays out.

Final Thoughts

It was great! Admittedly this is a lot mroe bizarre than RvB has been in a while but it’s also RvB where Grif still being alive after getting hit by a tank and having Simmons organs thrown into him improperly isn’t ever questioned. Alien Norse Gods? Ia m all for it! Donut being Jesus? Awesome! More setup for Grf having a character arc? HELL YEAH MAN. It was a well done episode, progressing the plot without wasting any time, gives us a glimpse at how dangerous our villains our, gives us a badass female villain, and sets up everything for the episodes ot come. There’s definitely a feeling of epicness compared to last time, so it looks lie Joe is taking the armature gloves off and giving us one Hell of a story. I am very excited to see where it leads!

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior