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#anyway im excited for how uncertain things are
megafaunatic · 5 months
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thanks for reccing c2p so hard im really enjoying it so far! lu bixing and lin jingheng are so well rounded... like theyre kinda annoying and pathetic. but also really cool and cute. the rainbow virus stuff kinda hits close to home though huh i cant imagine how priest felt having written it in like 2018 or whatever. anyways yeah hope youre having a good one 👍
YOU'RE SO WELCOME!!!!!!!
i'm so excited that you're reading c2p ITS SO FUN LOL !!! priest is soooo good at writing characters who are both incredibly smart and competent and capable and also: MAJOR LOSERS!!!!!
it's sooo tasty when characters who are used to knowing what to do next are made awkward and uncertain bc of their own feelings... knock that guy down a peg...
also yeah i found the rainbow virus stuff really upsetting first time around lol. i was like Man if this ends up being like a major longterm plot element its gonna be uhhh pretty hard to read !! but fortunately it ends up wrapping up pretty quickly for the most part. but yeah definitely the kind of thing she could only have written in 2018 OTL
everybody read can ci pin by priest cancipin.carrd.co 🚀💛🔧
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oraclemoontarot · 2 months
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ahh ur cool to chat with.
im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.
ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol
aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.
no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.
But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.
You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.
Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?
We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭
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pacifymebby · 1 year
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Hey Layla! I’m curious.. who is a fictional character you find yourself identifying with? And why? I feel like it says a lot about a person 🥰
Hiii <3 i love this question but omg its difficult.
Here me out on this one but
Mole (Wind in the Willows)
🌿 He starts off so quiet/reserved and isolated, he lives his quiet underground life minding his own business and well, i guess staying in his comfort zone... But he does have the desire for adventure, later whenever ratty is shaking his head and not wanting to go along with toads plans, its moley who is like "oo but it could? Be fun" like he's uncertain but he has this kind of want for excitement. Which is very much me as i have been my whole life, im really shy, and I'm anxious about things, but i have a curiosity that means whilst i do prefer my comfort zone and my little house with all my little things, theres still something inside me that craves the excitement and draws me to the wild wood. Like i too would have heard ratty say "we don't go there" and immediately been curious as to why.
🌿He's so anxious but so fiercly loyal to his friends that he faces his fears and puts himself in harms way to save his friends and I'm like that too, anxious, terrified to talk to people, but the moment a friend needs me, i find my voice for them. Also there's like a level of stupid to his loyalty, like when he goes into the wild woods on his own, doesnt even know where he's going but he just goes because he feels he has to for toad, so he just stumbles on in, knowing its a bad idea but doing it anyway. I do that alot haha
🌿 He's younger that badger and ratty and he really looks up to them in every way, like theyre not father figures but theyre older, wiser friends who moley looks to for protection and to learn from too, they show him the riverbank and all these new things like Messing about on boats!! And he really admires them but also trusts them immediately, almost naively, just trusts them and I feel like thats very much what i am like when i make friends with any male my age or above. I look for friends with that "take you under my wing" nurturing side to them. (like how me and B became friends, it was because he really did just keep me tucked under his wing)
🌿He's so earthy (yes i know he's a mole) but hes so earthy and he loves his dark damp mole hole with all of his little things, its his home and he loves it even though it isnt much and then when he's with Ratty and he realises that he can't remember where it is, and he cries and gets so sad. Like hes so me for real, i love my room, i love making myself a little home, a sanctuary kind of place thats mine that feels totally safe and cosy and comfortabke. And i will quite happily stay in it forever and ever like its my little nest if I get things just right.
Unnamed Narrator/second mrs de'winter (Rebecca /daphne du maurier)
🌿 Shes so young and she falls head over for a sophisticated older man who is more well educated, higher class status etc than she is and she is so taken in by him and like, naively swept off her feet. She's desperate for his approval and giddy whenever she gets it and what can I say... Reading this book made my daddy issues ten times worse because it normalised them haha
🌿 She really is like, an over emotional, naive little waif and she spends the whole novel feeling too much about the smallest of things. There are times when Max is a little sharp with her and she gets overwhelmed with sadness and guilt and shame ans humiliation all at once and sits there trying not to cry but crying anyway and like, literally last night i was overtired and sulking and B made a passing comment about me being in a foul mood and I waited until he'd left the room and then burst into tears with the intention of getting it out my system whilst he was gone (but he came back into the room unexpected and saw me and was just like oh...) like idk i feel like im a super dramatic takes everything to heart, really easily upset kind of girl? And also like happy things, people showing her basic kindness also sets her off and i too cry at the smallest kind gesture towards me.
🌿Here are some bits i took photos of when reading because i identified so hard haha
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🌿 Shes also just deeply anxious about pleasing other people, living up to expectations, she thinks so much about everything and she spends so much time deeply embarrassed by her own perception of herself, whilst like, biting her nails over whether or not she is doing things right. Shes so aware of her own naivety and yet also not at all.
🌿Max is constantly calling her a silly little girl, B is constantly saying similar to me, for similar reasons (like he acts a little distant once, or forgets to be soft with me once and i become convinced he hates me haha)
Thank u for this it was fun, i do think ive basically revealed myself to be even more whimiscal and pathetic than we already thought though haha <3
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alabaster-moon · 1 year
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*I* want to hear about your stuff! Tell me about your stuff!
i- that is so ridiculously sweet of you… i thank you, truly (and also totally don’t know where to start ohmigod). this may be a touch long, as i have a lot of stuff, and much of it never gets voiced… apologies for the sheer length.
i mean first and major project (that won’t be posted here for reasons like enjoying being faceless) is my cosplay for an upcoming convention. i’ve been planning since literally last year to make a megamind cosplay, and it’s finally starting to come together! the cape’s nearly done, i have a solid plan on how to do the suit (after a tiiiiiiny mishap with my first attempt… like the cardboard i used to protect layers from paint sticking to the back of the thing… heh) and it’s just… it’s finally looking like it’s gonna work, and i’m Very Excited. i need to buy more spikes though. but that’s on brand.
i’ve also got another thing planned for that con - a dear friend of mine (who should be asleep now, she doesn’t know about it) is a brilliant fic writer, and i only ever see her for this con… i want to try and hand bind one of her fics to give to her. she has given blanket permission before, and it would be a single copy for her; i won’t have time to make one for myself. i’m very, very new to bookbinding: i have no skills, but i have the audacity, which is basically the same thing. fingers crossed i can get that done, i plan on doing the typeset on tuesday, wish me luck~
there are also another fic i was binding - i don’t think that author follows me on here, and they know about theirs, so i can state this too. but that one i was going to bind one copy for me, then one for them, so their copy was Nice and Pretty (and i can fix the bloody typesetting mistake on page 116 for theirs). but like, and this part they don’t know about, i was deciding on what i wanted for the cover of the fic when they said that they buy themselves sort of congratulatory rings when they finish a longfic, and posted a pic of them. so i’m going to find a way to make the cover of this book match the ring they treated themselves with as congratulations. i think it’d be cute. i hope they like it.
last week, i got fabric for two other cosplays; a william james moriarty and a james bond, and while i’m uncertain when i will be able to work on them, i am very excited. i plan to tailor both suits myself (again with the sheer audacity), and because of that i can make fun hidden things… like the crimson red lining in william’s jacket, and pastel pink lining the shade of bond’s manga cover in bond’s. i’m also considering embroidering the characters’ initials into the lining of their jackets too, because if you can go fancy, why not go all out? i managed to get my hands on a lovely wool for the waistcoats rather cheap, which was nice, and the patterns i have seem straightforward enough. i do plan to remake my sherlock’s jacket too, as the one i currently use was my mother’s; it is both too feminine and i would be devastated if i wrecked it… when i make his i’ll make the lining blue. small details, but the thought of them makes me so freaking happy.
a bit of a different one now, but i’ve also set myself on a little personal journey of transcribing the whole of the yuumori musicals - they have become so dear to me, and i want to appreciate them somehow. that being said, my primary art form is music, so short of covering them (which i’m tempted to do anyway, i’ve wanted to learn the violinist’s parts since the first ten minutes of op1) there’s… not a lot i can do. but making sheet music? yeah, i spent a three year degree on that, i can do that much. it’s a tough slog (@ sherlock’s actor specifically who very much enjoys going into free timing just on the good violin parts… hiraryo why you do me like this?) but it’s been so rewarding so far, and honestly im getting faster at it, which i’m also so glad to see. (i also have a very long meta about the role of the organ in op4 that i need to format into a tumblr post… it is currently across like six or seven paragraph messages in my friend’s dms. apologies to her notifications).
not so much a thing i did, but of late i’ve also had a wonderful time exploring the 2.5d musical scene; i had already known about hetamyu since like 2018, and the time between finding yuumori and finding morimyu was Very, Very Short. but i’ve had a friend guiding me through a bunch of others, which has also led me back to my very first manga fandom via tenimyu. i didn’t realise how much i’d missed prince of tennis until i saw those boys on stage… like those characters really were something so special to me growing up, and i’m thankful to have them back. i kind of want to have a look at the hakuouki musicals properly soon (the first live yaisa… iykyk), and i promised another friend that i’d watch the black butler musicals with them, so there’s a journey ahead of me and i am so excited to see what it brings.
there’s also a couple of bits and pieces, meta posts that i’ve been too scared to actually voice (i just see certain similarities between my last fandom and my current fandom and i want to write the comparison post to recommend the thing i enjoy to all my favourite people but Fear yanno cause what if they don’t like it) and all the plot bunnies that i either don’t have the time or don’t have the skill to complete (mostly the time one). i also lowkey decided on a whim to join flufftober, so that’ll be fun. i laid out the doc, and i have a really nice idea for two of the prompts, so we’ll see how that one goes.
also i’m thinking of reviving my university final project… i’d made an utau, and then wrote an album for her, but never got it to a state where i was content enough to release it. it’s like the one thing i regret… but it’s never too late to bring back, right? i can revamp the songs and bring her back properly… if i have time, i really want to do it.
but yeah. that’s my current stuff, barring one or two things that are group efforts and as such idk what i am able to say. hopefully the formatting is somewhat coherent. i thank you for giving me the mental permission to voice it all though… that was lovely of you ^^
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coerthas-enjoyer · 1 year
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shb log #7
ok some shadowbringers thoughts pre-emet-selch fight
( very long post, all text )
im ngl this expansion was a hell of a roller coaster when it came to whether i thought it wss good or bad. overall my impression of it is good but i wonder if i dont think of it as highly as so many players do
main thing is the plot was very predictable for the first like 2/3 of the msq. defeat the lightwardens of the four areas, absorb the light, restore the night sky. before that, interact w the locals and help them w their problems.
the only unpredictable things were at the very beginning when we were still tryna understand what the exarch revealed, not knowing how to handle the light becoming too much to bear, and what happens after kholusia (i kept thinking “its def not gna be that simple”)
while i liked the worldbuilding, the predictability was the main reason the plot wasnt v exciting for me. heavensward and stormblood did have a clear end objective, but the journey wasnt as predictable. we didnt know what the “subtasks” would be before achieving our final task.
and then it finally got better once we reached the tempest, bc then it was uncertain how we would ultimately triumph. plus we get some lore dumps which i always welcome
anyway this doesnt make shb any less of a great expansion. i was just a little disappointed, thats all 😅
and i say this now before actually finishing the game bc in my opinion, if i have to wait until the very end to be satisfied with the plot, that isnt the storytelling i personally enjoy. i care more abt the journey than the destination / last moments
but now onto the good parts! each area was very well designed in terms of their culture, lore, and current struggles. it was rly fun getting to meet w all kinds of ppl in norvrandt & honestly its hard to choose a favorite ;w; entering a new area was always so exciting bc of this
the dungeon and trial bosses are much more engaging and fun! i rly like the combat in this game and its been fun figuring out the mechanics of every fight. so much more involved than doing ur combos and dodging a very simple aoe every now and then LOL
ike i was actually gripping the controller & sitting at the edge of my seat during the final dungeon boss of amaurot
i also like the designs of the sin eaters and lightwardens. i think its cool to see what we previously perceived as good (light) turned into monstrous beings. probably not a new concept, but i still like it :D
love their roman empire (i think) aesthetics too
as i progressed thru the quest i was more involved in the idea that everyone is morally grey, even ourselves. we’re villains to some while heroes to others, and our enemies r the same. sometimes makes u stop and wonder what ur rly fighting for instead of blindly charging forward
so i think in terms of the broader message and having the origins of ascians and the worlds involved, shadowbringers is the strongest expansion so far. but in terms of storytelling & overall pace of the quests, i actually prefer hw and sb 😅
but im excited to finish it up!!
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years
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I think part of the reason I over exaggerate my place in other peoples lives is because i see everyone around me as a specific aesthetic/vibe and I start to make subconscious assumptions about the way you "should" act based on the clues I have put together from what I've been told about you and where I've filled in the gaps of things you probably do but that causes me to mix up the real things like feelings and attraction because I either end up loving this idea I've created of who you are with all these added fake pros and cons or I end up becoming obsessed with you because im trying so hard to keep things clear as to what is real or not and then you end up being weirded out anyways. It's so hard to form real relationships with people because in the beginning of a friendship I can usually make you a Pinterest board and a playlist and concoct a bunch of things that equal you in my brain so I know what to send you memes of or see things that remind me of you constantly and that's so fun when you're first talking to me and either we grow close enough that me doing that actively keeps us in contact bc we always have something to talk about or our friendship falls apart and I'm left with all these pictures songs and subjects that remind me of you and hurt every time I see them and it's such a shitty feelings because all of my friendships end becuase i care too much and can't give people space to breathe. I just hate hate hate hate hate being uncertain of my place in peoples lives it's absolutely soul crushing to me I'd rather have someone have the balls to tell their real thoughts and feelings about me even if it hurts than have someone ghost me and play pretend and slowly creep away from me like they're afraid of me when I try so fucking hard to make a full safe environment for someone but that loops back to my crazy finding your specific aesthetic thing cause that can be overwhelming and scary but I usually ask first and I definitely offer to show someone their Pinterest board or playlist and every person I've shown has been excited to see their aesthetic and see how accurate it is and it's been positive but then people end up leaving anyways and it just fucks with my brain and I know I have so many issues but like fuck man I have so much fucking admiration for everyone I've ever been friends with even if I'm fucking bitter about how things ended and that they couldn't just be straight up with me (and bitter that my last few friendships ended with me saying "look man are we friends or not I need a straight answer cause I'm not gonna keep putting effort into being your friend if you don't want me to be your friend anymore") I still admire them so much but do I admire them as a person (who was shitty to me in real life) or do I admire them as this idealized person I created in my brain (even the idealized person has flaws tho. Like even in my brain they appear human and normal and flawed and I still love them and want them regardless and it's almost like I prepare myself to be hurt in certain ways and then they always find new ways to hurt me I haven't thought of yet) it's almost like I'm willing to look past the shitty ways you treated me in real life because at least I have this fake version and it's cool to talk to someone the fake version was made for and then it's like I'd rather keep this perfect version in my brain where everything's predictable and people dont randomly change their mind or act nice and then change and act horrible and like feelings dont get hurt in my brain that only ever happens in real life and I dont like it I'm very tired of it I just want everyone to do what I think constantly like I'm playing Barbie's as a child. Everyone should behave the way people should and stop being mean to everyone else always and if you are mean you should do it in a good way that only my brain decided was the good way.
oh I am mentally ill god damn I wrote a lot more than I meant to I'm sorry man I'm high and brain rambly doing self therapy. I think playing the sims so much has made me crave being a sim more than anything ever cause I just fucking want hygiene and hunger and sleep bars so so so bad tell me when I have to shower and eat and sleep I cannot keep track of these things my brain does not have these alarms on it's own I have to remember to do all the things it's the worst. But I also want the plus and minus people bars over my head. Show up and tell me if I'm succeeding or failing this human Interaction and let me find the button I have to press to do the thing to make you like me. Tell joke about vampires? Will that make you like me? How many times can I press it before we become good friends or best friends? Can I click the tell funny story button until you like me? Please please please please please someone find me worthy of being a person I'm so tired of fighting the neurotypical world I just want to sleep and play the sims and smoke and play the sims and eat and smoke and sleep and play the sims and listen to music and have magic levitating +/- people points over every conversation I have ever
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lynxandbadger · 6 years
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hey yall you may or may not have noticed that i havent been on a lot lately and now the mukbang video and some other things in my life have made me decide to go on an indefinite hiatus from tumblr. i might occasionally post an edit or something every now and again, but i wont actually be on reblogging things or anything so see you all again who knows when. i might come back someday or maybe not idk but thanks for being there for me and showing me the phandom side of tumblr, i’ve met some really great people here and if you’re wondering if i mean you, i absolutely do, youre all incredible <3
this will probably get long and for that i apologize, but im a sentimental person and i cant leave without a proper goodbye. im putting it under a readmore so you dont have to suffer through it if you dont want to lol
before i get heavy with the unnecessary backstory, let me just thank you all so much for following me. ive only had this blog for less than a year but you guys have already shown me so much love and that means so much to me. i met a lot of good people here in the phandom and i feel sorry that i never talked to more of you. words dont even begin to cover how thankful i am to have gotten to interact with all of you <3
okay next of all this is not because of something bad, its actually bc i feel like ive outgrown tumblr? lol but like i said this is gonna be long and youre the one who clicked on the readmore so youre committed sorry alsfdkjalgh anyway yo long backstory warning here we go okay so like if you saw that super long reflection post i made like two months or whenever, you will know that i used to have a tumblr four years ago and tldr i left it and put it on a pedestal for all these years and it wasnt until two months ago when i went back through the entire thing that i realized i had just romanticized it blah blah weve been over this. my point is, tumblr for me has always been an escape from real life and a place where i could talk to people because in real life there was no one for me to interact with at all. but now,,,,,,, i dont really need that. im in college. i see and talk to people usually almost every day. im no longer an isolated little girl stuck in her room all day.
now that im in college, i realized i am in control of my own life. things have been happening and ive been doing things ive never even imagined possible. i am a human with one life and its up to me to make it the best life i can. its my birthday today and i am starting on a new decade of my life whether i want to or not. i recently went through a long thought process vaguely how i think the one dan went through when he decided he hated law school and dropped out. prepare yourself for another backstory dump lol. so all my life ive been like told that im so smart and everyone has always expected me to be smart and so i decided to be a chemistry major because ive always like chemistry i guess and wow everyone expects me to do something super “”smart”” like that and theres been so much pressure by people and by myself to live up to this expectation of being an exceptional student and incredibly smart and now im out here being in college and struggling with the reality that im,,,,, not that smart,,,,, and that i dont even enjoy chemistry like i thought i did,,,,,, ive been battling with my own expectations of myself to be this person that ive always expected myself to be my entire life but ive realized now that thats just not realistic. and ive decided that those old expectations just dont matter. im not who i thought i was and thats okay. im trying to learn to accept the past but not let it rule me anymore and just let go. im changing my major and not letting myself be upset that im not living up to who i once thought i would be. id rather be happy and enjoy what i choose for myself than keep up the appearance of who ive always been told to be.
i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what the future holds. but i do know that im going to stop letting my past define me and just live my life how i want it to be and not how i thought it should be.
and as a result of this, i no longer feel like i need tumblr as a crutch. i used to sit on this website for hours and not be able to stop. now i come on tumblr and get bored within minutes. i thought i would never be able to get off of this site. i thought i would always need it. but i dont think i do anymore.
so goodbye tumblr. weve had some good times, and weve had some bad. this site has seen me through five tumultuous years of my life. ive met some incredible people because of my time here and im honestly glad ive had this website to hold me for all these years. so long and goodnight, tumblr.
embrace the void and have the courage to exist
love,
eloise xoxo
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thebirdandhersong · 3 years
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Literally dying inside again. One of these days I will have to clutch a wall for support
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aenaxes · 3 years
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OMG ok for the 200 follower celebration (based on your smoking post) PLZZZ write sharing a spice blunt with cross or any batcher of your choosing I would simply die 😩💅🏻❤️
vapor trails
[crosshair & hunter x f!reader] you don't really run with the fett twins' crowd, but you find yourself at one of their parties anyway (in reference to this post lol)
warnings: college!au, recreational drug use, suggestive themes, but consent is sexy & mandatory & sober babes
w/c: 3.8k
a/n: anon, you ask for one batcher, but why not two? thank you for enabling me nonnie & @mallr4ts lol (im so sorry to all the previous requests for the event, this one has just been needling in my brain all day and i had to get it out hsdfs)
event details here! requests are open until july 4th!
You don’t know much about the Fett twins.
They’re something like campus legends even though they’re only a year your senior and at the tail end of their fourth years. But as much as you’ve heard their names slung around in weekend plans and excited chatter, you’ve never once met them, much less seen them yourself. Between idling class whispers and dining hall conversations, all you can piece together from the rumors is that: one, they’re from a big family (you’ve heard anywhere from two to twelve other brothers, yikes); and two, as much as they work hard (because the venture capital and pre-professorial tracks seem rigorous enough), they play even harder.
It helps that they apparently own one of the biggest apartments off campus, one in which you find yourself hopelessly and miserably lost. And overdressed.
Great.
It hadn’t occurred to you that your roommate, who is nowhere to be seen, had been dressing up for her girlfriend, and that most people who had half a mind would wear something comfortable that could withstand a few spilled drinks and ash. So seeing the rest of the room in rumpled tees and sweats has you and your little black dress seeking out the nearest wall as you fiddle with your questionably sweet cup of margarita mixer.
You feel like a first year, and it sucks.
But for once, with everyone too busy mingling amongst themselves over the heavy thrum of some mumble rap beat, you manage to slip by unnoticed.
Every now and then, you dart your eyes around the ever shifting landscape of faces in the dim room, looking for even the vaguest familiarity that might let you feign being tipsy and join a group for the night. But every time you try, there’s no luck.
Fuck, you haven’t even seen anyone here before.
But there might be a god watching out for you yet when the crowd shifts just enough that you catch sight of the couch, and on it, someone you suspect to be one of the twins as he greets a few girls with a disinterested nod.
Emboldened, but mostly nervous that in the crowd of bodies and red solo cups you’re still helplessly alone, you push off the wall and squeeze past huddled cliques of conversation to make for the dark couch.
By the platinum bleached hair and big-name consulting group quarter zip, Crosshair—at least you think it’s him—lounges over the couch. He isn’t the only body on the suede seats, but he keeps to himself, his head dipped low as he works one hand over a small metal canister in his other palm.
If you weren’t having luck with the other nameless faces around you, maybe the Fett twin would keep you company—at least until your roommate came back to find you (if she did). And worst case, you’d just slink back to your dorm and mope until your roommate apologized to you with your favorite overpriced smoothie bowl the day after.
Mustering every ounce of courage you have, you plant your feet by the couch and finally speak.
"Is your name actually Crosshair?" you ask.
The man on the couch pauses, his motions stilling over the small metal cylinder in his palms, and he lifts his chin just enough to flick his eyes up towards the sound of your voice.
You always thought the girls in your droning 9AM gen-ed were wildly exaggerating his hype for their own devices, squealing over his (apparently) brooding charm and sharp looks to nip at his stash for free. But for all the vague haze surrounding your perception of the twins, you never thought that they were telling the truth.
If you had been in broad daylight under the incandescent glow of your creaky lecture hall lights, you might have called him cocky, almost haughty, how he meets you with an unreadable look for having interrupted him. But in the purple LEDs and heavy haze of vape juice and shitty tequila, he’s captivating, all dark eyes and perfectly lit skin, marked only by the needle-thin design tattooed over the right side of his face and a worn wooden toothpick bitten between his teeth.
You swallow down the dry lump in your throat when you catch him flick his eyes from your face, down the short length of your dress, and back up again.
"Smoke with me; maybe you'll find out," he drawls, toothpick bobbing as he speaks. He twists the cylinder once and offers you a wry smirk. And when you stay, speechless but there all the same, Crosshair scoots to the side and pats the narrow space between him and the couch arm, inviting you close.
"I've never smoked before," you admit a bit shyly as you drop down beside him. Your dress hikes up your thigh, and you shiver when your skin presses up against the soft denim of his jeans.
"Not even cigs?"
You shake your head. And you tell yourself that when he leans close and brushes his shoulder up against your arm, that he’s only doing it because someone’s boosted the bass, and you can’t hear him over the reverb.
"Well, good thing I'm here, yeah?"
He gives the metal canister a final twist and sets it down on the coffee table before you. Swapping the canister for a small brown sleeve, you watch in a daze as he pulls a semi-transparent leaflet from the folder and tears a strip of cardstock straight from its flap. He has pianist fingers, you think wistfully, neatly kept nails and slender grace, and you wonder if he’ll entertain you if you ask to compare your hand to his.
“What’s your name?”
You scrabble back to the present at the sound of his voice. “Uh, y/n,” you offer.
“Well, y/n,” he says with a soft laugh, having caught on to your daydreaming. “Step one, you fold your filter.”
You nod along absently as Crosshair artfully crimps the thick paper into a neat roll. As if there isn’t thirty-some odd people crammed into his apartment, he quietly takes you step by step, offering you the filter, the paper, then the contents of the canister (a grinder, he explains) like it’s a game of show and tell. But with every piece he places into your hands, you gravitate closer, closer, until you’re flush against his arm and practically hanging over his side to watch as he gently taps a line of bud over the paper.
“Here, let me give you a better look,” Crosshair says.
You expect him to bring the neat line of bud to you, but when nothing comes, you look up and find him waiting for you, one arm open in invitation as the other pats once on the dark denim of his thigh.
“Uh—”
“Sit,” he says as if you haven’t just met him fifteen minutes ago. “Front row seats if you want ‘em.”
On one hand, you barely know Crosshair outside of the rumors you hear on campus. On the other hand, he’s a genuinely pleasant person, careful to accommodate for your boundaries and offering a snide playfulness that’s banished your nerves from earlier in the night.
He’s also really fucking hot.
“Okay,” you murmur, and you let him wrap his arm around your waist and tug you onto his lap. And he’s right. Perched over his thighs, you see with perfect clarity (and without the strain in your neck) as he gently folds the paper over the mound of bud and carefully twists. It’s the prettiest joint you’ve ever seen—though it might be because it’s the only one you’ve seen.
"Final touch," Crosshair's voice rumbles over your back, shooting straight into your core as he lifts the paper's vellum edge to your lips. “Lick it for me.”
Since you sat down with him, you’ve only been the passenger, nodding along as Crosshair’s long, nimble fingers creased over filter paper and patiently pointed out things like the stray pistils in his baggie and the keef gathered at the bottom of his grinder for if you really want to get fucked up. And even though you aren’t doing much (because licking paper doesn’t really seem too crazy), it’s a step forward from the comfortable rhythm that had settled between you, and you twist around in his lap to shoot him an uncertain glance.
“Just,” Crosshair flicks his tongue over his lower lip, flashing a brief glimpse of a ball piercing towards your wide eyes. And if you weren’t so flustered, you might have recognized the coy playfulness in his gaze. “Give it a lick, right over the edge.”
“I—uh, what if I—” you stammer.
“You’re not gonna mess this up, darling,” Crosshair chuckles. If his hand squeezing brief over your waist wasn’t enough to bring heat searing over the tops of your ears, his next words, crooned low and breathy into your ear, certainly do. “You’re a smart girl. You can do it.”
"My brother giving you trouble?"
Another voice cuts through the din of the party, sparing you your stammering nerves as you whip your head up in its general direction. You’re greeted with the sight of his brother, peering down on you as he takes a sip from his cup.
“You’re such a killjoy,” Crosshair mutters, drawing his arm tighter around your waist as he jabs the half-rolled joint to where Hunter sprawls down onto the couch beside him. “No, I’m not being a creep. I’m teaching our pretty underclassman here how to roll.”
Oh.
Heat rushes over your cheeks, and you can’t decide whether you want to shrink into yourself or bask in it and beg for more.
He called you pretty.
“With her in your lap,” Hunter snorts into his cup.
“It was your idea to invite your entire fucking rugby team. Where else would we do it?”
“I’m so sorry he’s like this,” Hunter laughs, tilting his head and looking up at you through his (unfairly) long lashes. Where you thought Crosshair’s tattoo was bold, Hunter’s practically blows him out of the water, a well-worn swath of ink on the left half of his face, curving into neatly stylized teeth right at the edge of his lips. “I’m Hunter.”
Huh, maybe you do have a thing for tattoos.
“Y/n,” you squeak. “It’s, um—it’s nice to meet you.”
“Pleasure’s all mine, sweetheart,” he says as he offers you an easy smile. “Has my baby brother been treating you right?”
“God, two fucking minutes,” Crosshair snaps. You hear the embarrassment seeping from the vitriol, and it strikes you like a shot to the head that he’s trying to play cool in front of you. “I come out two minutes after you and—”
“We’re fraternal, and I got all the oxygen in the womb. Explains why he has awful people skills,” Hunter fake-whispers loud enough for Crosshair to hear, and you giggle as the other man groans from behind you.
“No, he’s been really nice,” you say softly once you realize that you’ve been laughing a little too loud. “He’s teaching me about weed.” It sounds juvenile when you say it, awkward and clumsy on your tongue. It’s a dead giveaway that has Hunter’s smile mellowing into something soft.
“Your first time?”
“Mhm.”
“Well, Cross here’s high as shit at least four hours every day. Says it helps him do the math. I hate to say it, but you’re in good hands.”
“You try running a nonlinear regression sober,” Crosshair snorts. “Anyways, we were just finishing up this joint before you decided to kill the vibe.”
Crosshair lifts the half-rolled joint back up to your chin, and this time, he leans forward and presses his chest close against your back as the playful snark leaves his tone, in its wake, something patient and calm as his voice rumbles by your ear.
“You gonna help me finish the job, sweet girl?”
You surprise yourself when the initial trepidation vanishes as you tip your chin down and stick out your tongue. Maybe you’re showboating now that you have an audience, feeling Hunter’s dark eyes on your lips when you touch the tip of your tongue out over the edge.
Whether it’s your lip gloss or the fine crumbs of bud stuck to the roll paper that fills your mouth with something earthy and sweet, you can’t say. All you know is they’re both following you with that intense intent, the bass and blend of voices faded out around you; just you in Crosshair’s lap and Hunter pretending to care about the drink in his hand as you lift your tongue off the far corner of the paper and close your lips.
“Good job,” Hunter muses, and you’re pretty certain he’s not talking about the joint when you feel his gaze boring into you alone.
The smell of smoke pulls you out of Hunter’s gravity, and you look back in front of you to see Crosshair snap a scuffed metal lighter shut and toss it onto the coffee table. He brings the joint back down in front of you, blowing a neat stream of whitish gray smoke past your ear.
“You know how to pull?” Crosshair asks, and his chin brushes over your bare shoulder as he speaks. He’s so close. You can smell the burn, acrid and sour, but it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t smell like some bubblegum vape when you feel his breaths curling over your skin. You just want more.
Mutely, you shake your head.
“Mm, you know how to shotgun?” Hunter offers, and you hear Crosshair huff laugher from behind you. “Might be easier for your first try.”
You shake your head again.
“It’s,” Hunter pauses, and his brows knit close as he thinks for a moment. “It’s kind of like a kiss. But not really. I take a hit and you catch my smoke. That sound okay?”
You don’t think it matters that someone’s hit shuffle on the playlist, filling the room with a hard electronic beat that might have otherwise drowned out all sound. All you hear is your heart pounding in your ears as you nod and watch Hunter lift the filter to his lips and inhale deep, then pass the joint back to Crosshair.
“C’mere,” he murmurs, white trails of smoke curling over his upper lip as he lifts one hand to cup over the base of your neck.
“Open,” Crosshair whispers.
Wordlessly, you obey. Your lips part just as Hunter pulls close, so close you feel the heat of his skin spreading warm over your cheeks, and blows a soft stream of bitter smoke into your mouth. It can’t be more than a few seconds, but all the while, you can’t seem to tear your eyes from his.
“Breathe in, deep,” you hear Crosshair instruct as he begins to rub one thumb over the curve of your hip.
The smoke is thick, sluicing down your throat and filling your lungs like nothing you’ve ever felt before. It’s not bad, just new, and pressed between the twins over the couch, you think it just might have been worth being ditched by your roommate earlier in the night. But your lungs ache, and you slowly exhale, watching as your vision fogs with a loose cloud of smoke until your chest feels clear again.
“And you didn’t even cough,” Hunter smiles. His calloused fingertips follow the slope of your neck, lingering one moment more before he pulls away. And you aren’t sure if the low buzzing in your fingertips is the weed or their combined warmth as Hunter rubs over your knee and Crosshair leans his head against your neck. “Good girl.”
“Wanna do it again,” you whisper as the buzz begins to crawl up your neck, fizzling around your temples as you lean your cheek over where Crosshair nuzzles into your shoulder.
“With him or me?” Crosshair murmurs, his lips brushing over your skin.
“You,” you say dreamily, and Hunter laughs, a sound that suddenly seems so far away as you tip your head and press close against Crosshair’s silver hair.
Crosshair leans into your touch, pressing his cheek up against your neck one last time before he’s lifting his head and bringing the joint to his lips. You hear the hiss of his inhale, smoke curling up through the narrow body of the joint as the charred end glows warm beside you.
And instead of Hunter’s approach, level with you, Crosshair looms above you, meeting your wide eyes with something of a fond smile. Dragging his hand up your chest, he follows the line of your neck and holds snug over your chin. He squeezes softly, and your jaw falls slack, lips parted in a soft ‘o’ as he dips low. He's closer than Hunter as you feel his mouth just brush over yours and breathe smoke over your tongue.
This time, it’s easier.
You swallow down the smoke and hold, just a beat longer than before. But both Crosshair and Hunter notice as your lips stay parted, and they share a soft laugh that has you exhaling smoke and pride all at once when you finally relax your diaphragm and breathe out.
“Fast learner,” Crosshair muses, nosing up under your jaw as you sink back against his chest.
You mumble incoherently, chasing his touch as the high creeps heavy and warm from your chest to your collar and settles at the back of your throat. It anchors you, molding you up against Crosshair who feels nothing short of perfect as he circles his arms loose over your waist.
You turn your head to thank Hunter when you distantly register him pressing a cool cup into your hand (water, you think you hear him say), but the words slip back down into your throat, your eyelids suddenly unbearably heavy and coarse over your blurry vision.
“You wanna lay down?” Hunter offers, and his voice comes to you like you’re underwater, warped and bubbling past the din of the party around you.
You're pretty sure you nod.
For a few moments, you catch traces of an unintelligible exchange between the twins, only aware of the rumble of Crosshair’s voice at your back, and then you’re being lifted up off the couch, the music and raucous laughter fading behind you.
A door opens, squeaking half-shut, and you wince as a light clicks on beside you. Whoever was carrying you sets you down on something soft and cool, and you sway as the light dims and you settle into your seat.
You’re on a bed, you think.
Crosshair’s, judging by the shock of light hair that you can make out through your lashes. He helps you into a worn tee that reaches past the short hem of your dress, and you wiggle into it with a soft whine, holding it tight.
But where you expect a familiar weight to dip down next to you and pull you close, your eyes fly open when you see his figure turn away from you and towards the neon lights of the party outside.
“You aren’t staying?” It's the most coherent you've been through your first high.
“Not tonight,” Crosshair says softly. He turns back towards you and reaches up to fix the strap of your dress as you sit on his bed. “Baby’s first tokes got you all dopey. Right now, what you need is this,” and he presses a plastic bottle of vitamin water he’s seemingly produced out of nowhere into your palm. “This,” he adds, pressing your phone into your other hand. “And a good night’s sleep.”
“And what if I say I need you, too?” you pout.
Some part of you—the conscious part locked away in the back of your skull—bangs up against the hazy high at the crown of your head because when you’re good and sober and when Crosshair inevitably turns you down, you won’t be able to look at yourself in the mirror for the next semester.
But he breaks into a smile that crinkles at the corners of his eyes before he leans down to press his lips to your forehead. It’s just a split-second of warm, chapstick-soft lips on your skin, but it floods you with an indescribable good from the top of your head all the way down to your toes.
And as high as you are right now, you have a hell of a hunch that the flutter in your chest is going to stay, even when the room stops wobbling around you.
“When you’re all sobered up in the morning, we’ll make you breakfast, and we’ll figure it out from there,” Crosshair says after he’s pulled back, reaching up to smooth his palm over your hair. “Sound like a plan?”
You nod, probably with a little too much enthusiasm, but you’re rewarded with another low chuckle that’s practically music to your ears. His hand gentle and firm over your shoulder, Crosshair guides you down onto the bed and pulls the covers up to your chin.
“Now text your roomie so she doesn’t call the cops on us, get some sleep, and drink all of that, okay?”
“Okay,” you respond.
“Good girl.”
And when the lights click out, you curl into Crosshair’s pillow, breathing in cold, fresh notes of his cologne, and then you’re asleep.
You climb out of bed the next morning, your minidress rumpled under a long shirt. It's not like a hangover, no, you just find yourself a bit lightheaded and throat parched, and the disorientation makes your head spin as you’re greeted with the smell of fresh coffee and something savory—
Your roommate doesn’t wake up earlier than you, and she can’t cook for shit. And why were your sheets grey? Whose shirt were you—
Oh.
Fuck.
You practically burst out of Crosshair’s bedroom, and you’re not sure what you expected, but somehow you hadn’t expected to see Hunter sipping mildly on a mug of coffee while Crosshair pushes something around in a pan over their kitchen range.
“Mornin,’” Hunter offers you a small wave, and reaches for a third mug on the countertop. “Wasn’t sure how you liked your coffee so we just made it black.”
“What happened last night?” you gasp. If you weren’t so panicked, you’re certain the sight of them sporting nothing but grey sweats would have been your only concern, but you’ve just woken up with foggy memories and the slimy dread of anxiety that follows a blackout night.
“Easy, easy,” Crosshair assures you as he steps away from the stovetop. “Nothing happened after we smoked. You took, like, two hits, and you were so hazy you couldn’t remember your dorm number, so we put you to bed, and I slept out in the living room. Fetts are wild but we’re not scumbags, promise.”
And judging from the throw blanket sliding off the edge of the couch cushions, you’re fairly certain you can believe him. Relief floods your chest.
“Oh thank God,” you sigh, and your shoulders sag as the weight of panic sloughs off your back.
They both laugh softly, the sudden tension lifting from the bright morning light, and you can’t help but join in. And when that rosy relief gives way to silence again, it’s Crosshair who speaks next.
“So, you staying for breakfast?”
“Can I borrow some actual clothes first?”
“Done deal.”
190 notes · View notes
saturnsummer · 3 years
Text
worthy.
When Sol gets a GPA of 2.02, the study group (and Joon Hwi) comes together to cheer her up. 
notes: another prompt by @thenerdywriter ! i wasn't sure if you meant it like this, but i hope you are satisfied! thank you for your prompt and your trust! i do apologise for the wait!
not much fluff or cliche romantic scenes, but just simple things that i hope when you read, remember your worth and never be defeated. you are worthy, loved and deserving to be appreciated. :) inbox always open!
for anyone who have sent prompts and asks, i thank you for your ideas! i have read through all your asks and am so excited to begin writing, but please understand if i can’t reply you as fast as i hoped! so sorry for this, i’ll try to address my inbox faster!! any mistakes or incorrect information will be taken responsible by me. enjoy!
edit: everyone, please don’t cry on this omg I’ve made 5 people comment their tears now and im terribly sorry for the tears.. I meant for this to be a light hearted story but looks like everyone is crying,, I’ll try not to make people cry now..
original prompt: where joon hwi and the rest of the gang shake some sense into her (sol a) about her self-esteem. 
words: 2787 words
Sol is downstairs at the lounge, holding a clear bottle of soju. She takes another swig from the plastic bottle, hoping that the alcohol can numb her heart like it does to her head. It burns, and she’s turning woozy, but she grumbles and takes another swig. 
2.02. She’s passed, at least. But she can’t help but feel upset. She wasn’t upset that she couldn’t score as well as Yeseul or BokGi, but upset that she’s satisfied with these low results. No one is going to hire her, even less offer an internship while looking at her track records. 
Sol worked her ass off for this exam. She nearly died, if it wasn’t for Yeseul’s reminders to eat. Even her cold stoned face roommate bothered to place bottles of water on her desk. Yet, after all this... 
“Why are you still up?” She hears Joon Hwi ask as he takes a seat next to her. She stays silent with a grim expression and turns away. Joon Hwi was the last person she wanted to see, especially when she’s in such a bad mod. 
“What’s wrong?” He asks as he catches her arm just as she’s about to chug her soju. 
“Everything.” She slurs. “You know I’m not even upset with my GPA? I’m upset of being happy with my shitty grades.” Joon Hwi sighs, attempting to grab her bottle away.
“I should have never came to study. I should have never tried to prove myself to be Dan!” She scolds louder. Sol knows she’s drunk in front of her best friend, but she can’t control herself. She doesn’t care. 
“Kang Sol...” Joon Hwi stands up, grabbing her bottle away from her. “You’re drunk. Go back.” 
“I don’t belong here, anyway.” Her slurs catch Joon Hwi in his steps. 
“I never once belonged with any of you. Being with all of you just drags you all further. I should just stop burdening you all with my questions and rot in a corner. Besides, no one would care.” She softly says, her voice filled with regret and guilt. 
Sol has always felt this way. Ever since she was young, Dan was always the star child. She got top grades while Sol got through in the middle rankings. Dan was always more popular, prettier, smarter. Sol learnt at a young age that no matter what, she would always be overshadowed by Dan. 
Thus, she learnt to be quiet. Only ask questions when she really needs to. Stick to familiar people. Only be loud when told to, and blend in in every situation. She learnt to depreciate herself, because no one appreciated her in the first place. 
Joon Hwi wants to shake her. He wants to write an entire dissertation on why Sol belongs to Hankuk. He wants to show her what he sees: a smart, caring, passionate lawyer-to-be. He wants to show her what he sees when she testified for Professor Yang in court. A confident, woman knowing her morals and rights.
“Kang Sol.” Joon Hwi says, pulling her up by her wrist. Sol pushes him away, but her touches are sloppy and weak. Sighing, Joon Hwi knows that it is useless to argue about her grades and her worth when she’s not even half conscious of what she’s doing. 
He grabs her coat lying on the couch, finding her phone and plans on calling Yeseul. But it’s past 1am, but he doesn’t want to trouble Yeseul. Sighing, he contemplates calling her roomie but reality smacks when he realises she’s home. Noticing how Sol is slowly nodding off, giving in to the fatigue, it leaves Joon Hwi not much of an option to carry her back.
Fishing the room key out from her coat, he takes special care in carrying her, sweeping his arm under her knee and lifting her slowly as to not disrupt her from falling asleep. The key card is in between his fingers as he slowly and quietly makes his way up to her dorm. He thanks the deities above that no one caught him or interrupted him. 
Tapping the key card, a standard ‘beep’, he pushes the door with his back, and takes care to get him and her into the dark room. He can barely see anything, especially since he has no hands to on the lights, but he makes out his way in the small room using the moonlight and what he can tell. 
Joon Hwi knows which side Sol sleeps, knowing from her stories that include her rolling from the bed up to the desk. By now, Sol was sleeping soundly, a slight snore escaping her. Gently, he sets her down on her bed and reaches to take her shoes off for her. Hanging up her coat that he placed on top of her whilst he was carrying her, he finally pulled the thick blanket over her.
But he didn’t leave just yet.
“I never once belonged with any of you.”
Sol’s words echoed in his head more than he thought it would. He stopped and bent down silently by her bed side, taking a few moments to wonder to himself just how and why does she feel so unworthy.
He grabs her bottle of water from her bag, before putting it next to her phone, which is on the table. Knelt on the floor, he observes the slow rise of her chest and the way her eyes flutter and nose twitch when Sol sleeps. Just how can someone like Sol think she’s any less than what he sees?
“You belong here in Hankuk. I’ll show you just why.” His whisper barely audible, as he brushes away a stray hair on her face. With that, he takes his leave and sneaks back to his dorm. (Without getting caught)
-----
The next day, after two painkillers and a big bowl of hangover soup (left mysteriously by someone at their pantry), Sol is headed to study group. She is running a few minutes early than their scheduled timing, but she’s surprised to find the group huddled in hushed whispers. 
“What are you all looking at?” Sol asks, as she sets her book at her usual corner opposite Joon Hwi. BokGi lets out a startled yelp and Yebeom clamps his mouth shut. Sol isn’t surprised to see Jiho crowded there, but is even more shocked to see Sol B crowded with them too. If it was anything, Sol B wouldn’t crowd around and discuss things, unless it concerned herself, or benefitted her grades.
“What...” Sol leans over and raises her eyebrows. Yeseul’s eyes dart nervously and she breaks into a smile. The rest of the group just shuffles back to their seats murmuring under their breath.
“Nothing, unnie! They were just discussing on what to order for lunch.” Yeseul says as she walks over to Sol and takes her bag and books from her, before setting it on the table. “Unnie, shall we get coffees?” Yeseul escorts her out of the room before Sol could react. Sol assumes that it’s due to her hangover that Yeseul is suggesting coffee, thus just following and getting a cold brew and assorted drinks for the others. 
When she returns, they distribute the drinks and start discussing on what to study. 
“Noona, do you have anything?” BokGi asks, a little too enthusiastically. Sol is taken aback and lost for words. She usually just follows whatever the rest want, since answering her questions will take hours. Joon Hwi gives a sympathetic smile. 
“How about you share with us about a recent case? Remember the one that Professor Kim liked in particular?” Joon Hwi suggests. Sol grows quiet. Her? The worst student? Sol let’s out an uncertain laugh.
“Ah, me? I rather my roomie shares. She did better than me.” Sol says, then prepares a fresh document for note taking on her laptop.
“I didn’t do well.” Sol B says quietly, her eyes emotionless as usual, leaning back into the chair. “You did the best. Go on.” Sol is stunned and just nods uncertainly. Taking out her case notes and her reports that she submitted, she nervously discusses the topic on hand. She sneaks Joon Hwi a couple of questioning stares but he only pretends to not catch her eyes.
Everyone is enthusiastic, asking questions and when Sol is stumped, they jump in to help her. They suggest ideas and Sol has never felt so energised by their energy before. She find it fishy how Joon Hwi just sits back and she can feel him smiling whenever she makes a point right or figures out a missing link.
An hour later, when they are done expanding on Sol’s case and discussing, they break for a late lunch together.  Yebeom enters the room with bags of food, as usual over ordering. As they pass out containers of jjampong and jjajamyeon, Sol’s eyes light up when she saw the only thing that mattered in the whole order: her beloved pickles, in doubled servings. 
What Sol doesn’t expect is for JiHo to dump his packet of pickles on her container of noodles. 
“JiHo-ah, why...” Sol is dumbfounded for a moment as JiHo opens his pack of noodles to stir. JiHo only pushes up his glasses. 
“You can have them, noona.” Sol is even more dumbfounded. This was the first time JiHo has called her noona. She didn’t care for the honourifics, and JiHo could call her by her full name for all she cared. But hearing those words from Seo JiHo’s mouth, just made her think everyone was utterly suspicious today.
“Okay, everyone is being weird. What is this?” Sol announces, hoping her tone came out fun, with no hints of anger. 
“Nothing! We just know you’ve been feeling stressed, so JiHo decided to give you his share of pickles, right?” BokGi quips up, as he dives into taking the sauce to pour over the tangsuyuk, before Yebeom and him argue over pouring or dipping. 
Sol, still feeling suspicious, breaks her chopsticks just as Joon Hwi picks up a pickle from her plastic saucer to put on her noodles. Her eyes dart from his chopstick to his face, but he just nods at her pickles, expressions hard to read.
Sol crunches on her pickles, but it does nothing to soothe the feeling that everyone was aware of something, but her. 
-----
The rest of the week was a puzzle piece that Sol could not fix together.
She woke up everyday to a new message by Joon Hwi, sometimes sending her funny videos, or a simple “let’s get through this together”. She woke up once to her roomie handing her breakfast and coffee. It just didn’t click in Sol’s head to see the cold Sol B hand her a sandwich and coffee.
Their group chat was undoubtedly noisy, but even more so now. Something in common was how the more chatty ones would ask Sol for advice or chat and strike noisy conversations. She was used to the chaos, but she definitely didn’t feel used to having the attention on her.
As the group had earned different internships from small and large firms, Sol was going to be left in school alone, still applying and hoping for one to come her way. Her study group knew about it, and instead continued to encourage her about it. They avoided talk on their internships, and actively tried to help Sol. While Sol was grateful, she couldn’t help but wish that they would just act normal and not worry about her.
She chose to meet them for breakfast on the day of their internships. The meal was noisy as usual as they ate their sandwiches and gimbaps. They were dressed smartly in their suits with their briefcases. Sol made a fuss over everyone looking smart on their first day.
“Hurry up and eat, you’re going to be late for your internship!” Sol scolded BokGi as he and Yebeom threw comments back and forth. Everyone was off for theirs and ready with their jackets and bags. Walking with them to the door, she couldn’t help but feel like a mom to her kids, sending them to school.
“Noona! Check your table later in the libra-” Yebeom gleefully mused before BokGi clamped his mouth shut and JiHo (with much irritation) smacked his head silently.
“What?” Sol asks, turning to Joon Hwi, who was turning redder by the second. Joon Hwi closes his eyes, the same way he does when he’s embarrassed and looks away from her.
“Listen to Yebeom and check the table.” He says, finally looking at her. “We’ll see you for dinner then.” Waving a quick goodbye, the group walked away from her towards the carpark where they separated to the bus stops or in the direction of the train station.
“O-Okay…” she mutters, still confused as she carries her books and bag to her usual table at the library. She would have went to sulk at Professor Kim’s office for a while, but she instead chose to head straight to study. Professor Kim had enough on her plate and she wasn’t ready just yet to face Professor Kim with her mood.
There, at her table, lies her stack of books.
Normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Huffing out, she slumps her bag on her table, gathering the post its on the bar above the table. Most of them were just plain comments, like how she had to stop slamming her pen into her hand (it distracted students) or move out of the library cause there aren't enough seats. Opening her book on civil code, she was ready to start drilling her head before meeting Professor Kim. 
Then she spots an envelope, hidden between the pages of the book.
Carefully, she picks it out and looks on the cream white paper, the only ink on it her name, written in neat handwriting. She could recognise Joon Hwi’s handwriting anywhere. A slight scoff escapes her lips and several students turn in annoyance. Realising that this was probably not the best place to be in, she grabs her books and bags (and the post its) and leaves the library. She heads to the empty study room, where she knows she’s be comfortable at.
Opening the flap, she slips out numerous slips of paper, varying degrees of length and sizes. Some words were neat, some were a little messy.
-----
To: Unnie <3
Sol-unnie, you know you’re smart, right? Your grades may not show that you are the best, but I know you are! Whenever I hear you discuss a case with the study group, I know you’re trying your best to memorise and improve. Don’t give up, unnie! I will support you till the end!
- Yeseul 
To: Sol-A noona
Yah, noona! You have to stop injuring yourself, okay? You gave us a really big scare the last time when you started nose bleeding in the midst of study group. Noona, don’t look at your grades anymore! If a man like me can get through law school so far pretty well, you can too! Fighting, noona! 
Noona~ you’re really talented. The fact that you scored so well during the criminal law test and managed to spot the comma just shows for amazing you are! Noona, don’t be discouraged... seeing you discouraged makes us sad too. Your favourite dongsaeng is here to help you! 
- BokGi and Yebeom 
To: Kang Sol-A
You can do it. Review your cases before classes. Get your internship.
-JiHo
To: Sol-A
Live up to your name, will you? And sleep on a regular schedule. 
- Roommate
To: Sol
Sunbae, remember me? Stop doubting yourself and trust yourself. You’re smarter than you know and fit for court. I will support you from wherever you are. I’m grateful for you, for supporting me all this time. I think Dan would be proud of you, and so will the cookie Byeol. 
Sol, you are worthy in my eyes. So stop undermining yourself. You belong in Hankuk next to me. You can’t give up now.
-Joon Hwi
-----
Sol lets a smile creep on her face as she lets a small blush rise to her face. Holding her letters to her heart, she closes her eyes, reminding herself of the past week and her friend’s efforts to cheer her on. She knew no doubt it had to be Joon Hwi who convinced everyone there to write for her despite their busy schedule. For even Sol B to help out and bother about her, it warmed her heart to have her support.
Picking her book, she pinned her hair up as she started drill into her book with a new found confidence, fuelled by her friends supporting her. But most importantly, she felt worthy. She felt loved. She felt confident. She was hopeful.
(Everyone thinks she’s worthy in their eyes, but one just thinks she’s perfect.)
225 notes · View notes
coexiising · 4 years
Text
west coast - anakin skywalker
SUMMARY ◆ you and anakin have just never gotten along and there seemed to be no way to get you guys to cooperate. hate sex basically. 
WARNING(S) ◆ smut, degradation, some bad names, rough sex, but there’s consent because consent is sexy, cursing,  choking, unprotected sex, fingering, anakin skywalker is a tease and a bitch, witty banter,  i pretend to understand the force and probably make up my own rules, unedited
WORDS ◆ 3.6k
»»————- ✼ ————-««
THE EVENING LIGHT OF THE SUN SPILLED INTO THE LARGE HALL OF THE JEDI TEMPLE, BLANKETING EVERYTHING INSIDE WITH A SHEER COAT OF GOLDEN RAYS. coruscant was always so beautiful in the evenings, the way that the cars sped past each building with a low hum and the rush of traffic. it was a sound that you have grown to welcome these days, especially because it had been many years since you’ve lived here. the capital was beautiful, bustling with life and opportunities. 
your elbow was on the table, palm pressed against your cheek as you leaned against it lazily, poking at the food on your plate with a fork in your other hand. obi-wan was mouthing off in front of you, not that you were really listening anyways. you were too focused on trying to stay awake listening to this mission that he was assigned to bring both you and anakin on in a weeks time. though his speech was pretty much worthless since the other padawan was no where to be found. neither of you had seen him for a couple hours. 
oh well, you thought to yourself. it’s not like you missed him anyways. besides, he was probably with padme or getting in trouble somewhere like he was always doing. 
anakin and you . . . well, it was a complicated relationship. you had been assigned to work with master obi-wan after your master died on a freak accident, and ever since then, you were forced to work with anakin skywalker. you two didn’t get along, you never did. you were even surprised that obi-wan put up with it, but he wanted to train both of you. to say that you missed your life before you had to talk to anakin every day would be the understatement of the year, you longed for the days where you didn’t have to be in the same room as him and watch as everyone fawned over the chosen one. god, even your thoughts were going to make you throw up. it was better to bask in this non-anakin-ness the most you could before he came waltzing into the hall. 
unfortunately, right as you stopped thinking about him, anakin walked into the hall towards the food and would most likely make his way over and sit at your shared table with your master. you felt a groan go past your lips and looked down at your food, stabbing your starfruit and popping it into your mouth. 
a chuckle came from obi-wan in front of you. “you can at least act like you like him you know, might be easier to deal with it that way.” you shrugged, shaking your head and looking up to face your master. “I mean, saying that as your friend not your master.” 
“you’re one to talk, what did you call him yesterday? oh that’s right, insolent. if memory serves you said that to him pretty confidently,” you said. 
“well, yes, but I'm allowed to say those things,” obi-wan countered, popping up one of his expressive eyebrows as he looked at you. 
you stifled out a weak laugh, “I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of me liking him.” and that was the truth, there is no way that you weren’t going to do what almost everyone does here: allow him to get away with the things that he does. sometimes your master calls him out on things - but it was incredibly rare. 
anakin walked over in his usual fashion, which you deemed as strutting, but others didn’t see the humor in it. maybe it was just because every time he even was in the same room as you, you felt the need to insult something about him, you had to keep him grounded, right?
“good evening, y/n.”
“oh, it was,” you said to him, glancing in his direction and then instantly going back to your food. from the corner of your eye you could see as his face feigned hurt, then he immediately went to talking with obi-wan about the mission that your master had previously been briefing with you about. it was something about some trouble on the outer rim, separatists spotted trying to negotiate with the rulers of a planet that was vital for the republic to maintain peace with. a typical mission, one that you’ve been on one too many times. but maybe something exciting would happen, you never knew. 
dinner was, for the most part, uneventful. the only thing that happened was anakin threatening to throw his starfruit at you because you rolled your eyes at one of his comments, which didn’t end up happening because obi-wan gave him that look and a stern ‘anakin.’ 
for the rest of the night you retired to your rooms, telling the two you would meet them in the morning. 
you sat at the edge of your bed, kicking off your shoes and stretching your arms up. you set your comms down on the small nightstand you had and got dressed in something more comfortable for sleeping. the sun was fully down now, and the only thing that lit up your room was the tall lamp in the corner of your room and the distant lights of other buildings through your windows. 
as you slipped into bed under the covers, you allowed your mind to wander. first, to the mission, where you silently went over the details in your head to make sure you had them all memorized. you knew for certain that anakin didn’t, which could possibly give you a leg up in the future. and the more you pondered, the more they landed on anakin.
it was strange, thinking of him. typically you would be cringing at anything that included anything to do with anakin skywalker, but this time you allowed your mind to expand instead of bringing up the protective barriers like you always did. the calming effect of letting the force just make its way through every neuron and crevice of your mind was almost enough to lull you to sleep. 
that was until you heard a whisper, just the faintest, tiniest little sound that you were almost uncertain that you had even heard anything at all. 
your eyes stayed closed, again letting the force do what it wanted in your mind and waiting to see if it happened again. there was a presence there, just on the outer barriers of your mind. there was silence, complete and utter silence and you were about to call it a night when-
you’re thinking about me? 
you jolted up to sit, eyes snapping open and your head getting dizzy from the sudden shift in position. it was anakin’s voice, clear as day in your mind, that was what you were hearing. how could you be so stupid? it was like the force was trying to push that connection. and now that it was established, you knew that you would have to put up more barriers in your mind in order to keep him out. 
and the worst thing was that he was still there. you could feel it. you put your hands on either side of your head and closed your eyes, reaching him and saying, 
i was not. 
it was the weakest lie you had ever made in your life. 
you’re such a liar, anakin chided. you could practically feel his smirk. just admit it. 
you groaned to yourself, feeling a bead of sweat drop down your face from the focus. goodnight, anakin, you said to him and then immediately cut off the connection. 
now you were wide awake, you were sure that there was no way you could get any sleep after that. you weren’t even angry at yourself for doing that, but more embarrassed that your thoughts connected you to anakin - because you were thinking about him. you knew there was no way you were getting out of this tomorrow. 
you busied yourself at your desk with some books you had previously gotten from the archives, trying your best to basically bore yourself to the brink of sleep. and just as you thought it was beginning to work, you heard a knock on your door. glancing at the clock, you saw that it was a little bit past midnight. who the hell was at your door at this hour?
for a moment you stilled, thinking that perhaps it was a mistake and they would leave then you could finally try and sleep, but there was again another knock a few moments later. you finally stood up and made your way to the door, opening it and being greeted by none other than anakin skywalker. he was dressed in his comfort clothes and hair messy, like he had been awake for way too long. 
he didn’t give you any time to say anything, instead pushing his way past you into your rooms. your eyes widened and you took a peek outside into the halls to make sure that no one saw that. luckily, the halls were dead. closing your door and turning the lock, you faced him and stood there deadpanned, waiting for some kind of explanation. 
“well, don’t act all happy to see me,” he said sarcastically. 
you laughed. “im not. what are you doing here? do you understand what could happen if someone sees you and me in my bedroom alone?” there would be rumors spreading like wildfire, something that you definitely didn’t need to be confronted by the council about this. you hated to admit that you knew the exact reason he was here - because of your mini conversation through the force. but that still begged the question as to why he cared so much about it in the first place. 
anakin rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. you took a second to look him over, seeing that the black shirt he was wearing was sheer enough for you to know what he was hiding under it. you shuddered, coming to your senses again and frowning. “you were thinking about me, and i think i deserve an explanation,” anakin told you, shrugging his large shoulders and cocking an eyebrow up. “you were thinking so loud.” 
“I wasn’t trying to, i was trying to go to sleep.” you countered. 
“you think of me while trying to sleep?”
damn. wrong thing to say. and now he was giving you a look, one that you’ve never seen before from him. his eyes were almost dark, filled with lust. you felt like your fucking legs were going to give out at the look that he was giving you. it was enough to make your face heat up and clear your throat, not having anything else to say, there really wasn’t anything to defend yourself with. 
and it all happened so fast. one second you were both standing there, staring into each other’s eyes, and the next you both were walking towards each other and colliding your lips onto each others. the kiss was hot and searing, instantly making your head go dizzy at the feeling. his lips were soft, albeit a little harsh as his tongue forced its way into your mouth and prodded against your own. anakin’s hand came to grip your jaw, the other on the small of your back. 
you attempted to grab onto him, get your hands on him as much as his were on you, but he didn’t let you, using the hand on your back to pull you closer to your bed. you were still kissing, lips starting to swell with the agressiveness of the kiss. 
you still hated him, you had to keep telling yourself that, even though just by kissing he was making you feel so good. no attachments were to be made, this was purely just acting on normal human instincts, right? 
soon enough the backs of your legs were hitting the edge of your bed, anakin pushed you down onto the bed like it was nothing and you were silly putty molding in his hands. he fell on top of you, instead of kissing you on the lips, he went for your neck, one of his hands came and grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it down, exposing your neck for him. 
and he made sure that you would have to somehow cover all the marks he was making, because his teeth seemed to graze over every inch of your skin and lightly nip anywhere he wanted. and you felt dirty because you let him. you would let him do whatever he wanted to do to you. 
anakin pulled away from you for a moment to pull his shirt off, discarding it to the floor and helping you to do the same with your shirt. you took a moment to look him over, seeing that his body was practically sculpted and personally handcrafted by the maker themselves, basically knocking the breath out of you. he noticed and you didn’t even care, instead of cringing at his smirk, you found it incredibly hot. 
your hands came to his torso, wrapping your legs around his waist as his mouth began kissing along your chest. you pressed your hips up against him, trying to get friction against your already wet core. sadly, it wasn’t enough and you were left with whatever he decided to give you. 
“anakin, please,” you whispered out towards him, looking down to watch him slip one of your nipples into his mouth, your mouth hung wide open. he came off of it with a ‘pop’ and tilted his head, waiting for you to finish whatever you were going to say. 
“please what?” anakin asked, going back to kissing your chest until he landed on your stomach and started painting masterpieces on your skin. 
you made the tinest sound, feeling sparks send right down below. “just touch me already,” you stated, putting your hands in his hair and giving the curles a good tug. he groaned against him, the vibrations going through your entire body. anakin came up face to face with you, pressing yet another kiss against your lips and pushing down your pants and underwear to the ground. you were now all exposed to him, while he still wore half of his outfit. you pouted at the unfairness but you knew it would get you nowhere now. 
he held his hand out in front of you and for a moment you looked at him confused. he sensed this and said blankly, “spit.” you did what he asked and spit into his hand, watching as he took that same hand and touch your clit, feeling the wetness of your spit and your own mixing together. your mouth hung open as he rubbed his fingers around, experimentally pushing the tip of his finger into you then immediately pulled it out. 
you felt yourself almost whine, needing him to give you more or you felt like you would simply die on the spot. right as you were about to say something, anakin’s other hand came and grasped onto your neck, his fingers digging into your skin and putting pressure on your throat. 
holy fuck. 
typically, you would be angry with how much control anakin skywalker had over you, but now you were just giving into it, liking that he was being rough with you. it was like a form of argument without the words and you were becoming addicted to it. he was able to make you feel so good and you were completely in his power. 
finally, as if he was putting some pity on you, one finger slipped into you, curling up and hitting a spot inside you that made you moan loudly. the hand choking you became stronger against your neck, his mouth coming to your ear and whispering, “be quiet, you don’t want anyone to hear us and have this be over too soon, do you?” he was looking for an answer. 
you shook your head, understanding that this would not be the best time to get caught by anyone else. you tried your best to keep yourself quiet as one finger pumped in you, the thumb of that same hand pressing against your clit and making your toes curl in pleasure. you could feel how hard he was against you and that made the fire in your stomach ablaze, nearing towards that edge desperately wanting some kind of release. 
as soon as you felt yourself getting higher to that point, his hand came off your throat and his hand stopped moving, your eyes opened up and looked at him, who was busy pulling down his pants and grabbing his cock with his hand. 
it didn’t take long for him to position himself at your enterance, his tip teasing you by rubbing it up and down against your slit. “is this what you want?” anakin asked you, his other hand tracing down your body and coming to grip the side of your hip. 
you nodded your head fervently. “yes, anakin, please just fuck me already,” you said to him. 
and that was all he needed before he was ramming himself into you, giving you no time to adjust, which was expected. you took the pain that came with his harsh motions, both of his hands gripping your hips with such force that you were sure that you were going to have bruises there in the morning in the shape of his hands. 
anakin pounded into you, your voice was already hoarse from his choking and you made as quiet sounds as you could. all that anger you had for each other had bubbled up onto the surface and there was only the desire left, the sickly sweet feeling that you had only dreamed about with anakin in your deepest fantasies. you could never get tired of this, perhaps you should’ve initiated this sooner, or pushed his buttons so he would take it out on you this way. 
“god, you’re so fucking tight,” anakin said in that deep, gravelly voice that basically sent you into orbit the second that it came past your lips. you were so far gone, head empty of any incoherent thought other than anakin skywalker. and he continued to move into you shamelessly, neither of you caring about anything in the world except this feeling both of you were chasing. 
you were close, you could practically feel the tidal wave starting to form inside your stomach. his pace would not let up, practically tearing into you with all the energy and stamina that he had from years of training. and anakin looked so good like this, his mouth hung open and sweat forming on that tanned brow of his. his muscles working overtime and flexing with every single movement he made. and his eyes, which were so blue like the oceans of naboo, were staring right into your own, almost like they were telling you to give everything to him. 
you were so worked up, that it only took his hand to come down and rub down against your clit, the pressure enough to push you over the edge. it was like a firework went off inside and the scream you wanted to make died in your throat, wishing that you could be as loud as you wanted. your back arched up and your hips faltered against his own, cumming around him and squeezing, earning a moan from his lips as well. you looked so good coming undone that anakin basically was just sent into fucking orbit with no trace of coming back down. 
the second you regained your composure and came down from your own orgasm, you watched as anakin hit his own, hips shifting and releasing right inside of him. you felt him fill you up to the brim, anakin falling down with his chest pressed against your own. the room smelled of sex and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
the only thing was the sounds of your pants throughout the room, and soon enough anakin was pulling out of you. you frowned at the sudden loss of not being filled up anymore by him. just a second ago you felt like you were on fucking cloud nine and now you were crashing right down to reality at what you had done, and whom you had just done it with. 
you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as anakin pulled his pants back up and started gathering the rest of his clothes in his hand. he was still shirtless, about to go towards the door when you said, “are you seriously going out there half naked?” 
“no one is up this late, trust me,” he said back. 
you bit the inside of your cheek. “well I don’t know about that after all the noises coming from here.” 
“that wasn’t me making all the moans,” anakin says in such a casual way you stare daggers back at him. he stifles out a laugh and then turns, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. you can hear his footsteps recede from the door and you are left here alone, thinking about what the hell you had just done. 
once you regained your composure and felt like you could walk, you stood up on your wobbly feet and made your way to your small mirror. the second you got there, you gasped at your appearance in the mirror. hair all messed up, marks all along your neck along with bruises from his hands, and the bruises on your hips. and to top it all off, you could feel what he left in you trickling down your thigh. 
that may have just been the best sex of your life. but you still hated anakin skywalker . . . 
. . . right?
529 notes · View notes
alluringjae · 3 years
Note
happy birth month and congrats on 400 followers!!! could i request "All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home.” with jaehyun please? thank you and take care 🤍
PAIRING. jaehyun x fem!reader
WORD COUNT. 611
GENRE. fluff, romance, minor angst | established relationship!au
WARNINGS. none
author’s note: omfg im so so sorry for the late response!! i couldn’t work as speedy as i wanted bc work rlly beat my butt :( even if get november is ending but imma try to finish the remaining prompts!! anyways, enjoy <3
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For the past few days, Jaehyun’s being acting… strange.
It started with going overtime with work at the office. Although you’re accustomed to it since he often is responsible for approving a lot of paperwork, getting back near midnight is rare. The dinner you cook for him at your apartment ends up cold, wherein he has to heat it up himself while you’re passed out on your bed.
Another thing you’ve noticed was how protective he’s gotten with his things. Sure, privacy is important in a relationship. But every time you’re in charge of placing laundry in your closets, he highly insists he’d do his. And to think laundry is his least favorite chore.
But the cherry on top is purposely buying you a day trip to Busan with your friends. Like literally right as soon as you woke up this morning, he informs of your sudden plan after breakfast. Before you can argue, your girl friends bombard your apartment and eagerly drag you out for a day of fun. At the corners of your eye, you swear you witness a smirk on his lips.
Definitely, you can’t deny how much enjoyment you earned today. It’s been forever since you’ve seen them all. Yet at the back of your mind, the skepticism tends to spike. You’d try to text Jaehyun in between activities, curious to know how his day is going.
No replies, at all.
Now you were feeling antsy, anticipating to confront your boyfriend once and for all. What on earth was going on?
The second your friends drop you off, you skip up the stairs to your apartment complex. As soon you took out your key and opened the doors, the math of all these occurrences begins to add up.
Bright candles lit a pathway to your mini balcony, which you followed to the end. There stood a recognizable man suited up for the occasion, leaning against the railing. He watches your expression jerk into awe, appreciating the rest of his set-up for the evening.
A table for two, where delicious homemade dishes and a bottle of champagne laid out. More candles were placed right in the center, providing more illumination from the dark skies. Though the stars are out, twinkling in its beauty down upon you and your lover.
Whom speaking of which, you failed to notice his gradual stance of standing up lowered to his knees. Or rather, on one knee. He courageously takes out a velvet box from his pocket, laying it on his palm before calling your name.
In the midst of admiring, it switched to astonishment once your eyes swivels its perspective. Your lover is down on one knee, courageously laying an open velvet box in his large palm. The sparkles of the diamond ring inside wins over the night sky competing for your attention.
“All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home.” Jaehyun professes, taking his free hand into yours. “And you gave me that. Because you are my home.”
Jaehyun, the romantic he is, keeps it cliché. But nothing can go wrong if it’s executed well. Plus, it’s his charm. One of the charms that made you more excited and giddier as if you were both still starting out.
Glee races through your veins, all those negative thoughts going into thin air too. Because the more your eyes reflected back at Jaehyun’s, there’s nothing you’re more uncertain of.  
Your love for him was true and certain, and so was his.
With confidence, he asks. “Will you marry me, (Y/N)?”
“Yes, Jaehyun.” You tearfully say, gracing a smile like his. “From the bottom of my heart, yes.
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neoraso · 4 years
Text
royal guard!minho
requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 
to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard
like he was better than anyone …at everything
so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard
he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 
when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”
the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him
ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy
but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times
being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne
everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square
minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like
just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -
the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action
honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad
looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 
the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<
obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder
no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 
“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd
u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///
u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 
minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw
he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached
you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times
u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao
he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you
n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed
plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh
one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water
you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you
 “would you at least sit with me?”
he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you
it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-
“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”
he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.
 before he could even form a sentence you continued,
“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”
he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 
“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”
u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”
smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down
“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”
ok.
well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?
“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”
you cut yourself off before talking too much again
you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.
he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom
sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..
no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 
“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’
taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 
u slept a lot better that night 
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from that point on you could not get rid of minho 
like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 
like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things
even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 
your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear
or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night
or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden
honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours
but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you
when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded
“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”
his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him
“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”
he’s jus like “rlly?😳”
obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position
or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u
all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time
you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like
“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”
he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little
even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work
luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 
you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…
when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned
minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like
“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”
u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room
when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)
you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3
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illfoandillfie · 3 years
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Maybe a ben POV one? where bens off on a movie shoot and misses you and wants to fly you out to him but he’s worried it’s too much of a “romantic gesture” like in movies so he doesn’t want to weird you out but then on the phone you say how much you miss him too so he gathers the nerve to ask you and you’re like duh ofc I’ll come you dork (im envisioning this still kinda early in the qpr maybe right after platonically or smth)
Thank you so much babe!!
This is the second of the blurbs for my Platonically themed event! This one follows directly on from the one I posted yesterday so maybe read it first.
Words: 1,759
Warnings: just two idiots being dummies. Minor references to sex and probably some swearing but that's about it.
Reflecting on the situation, Ben had come to the conclusion that it was the perfect time to be in Greece. The run of beautiful weather they’d had over the course of the last month must have set some sort of record, he thought. Every day was blue skies, white fluffy clouds, and the sort of heat that was comfortable and not overly sticky. It made working a dream, especially when half the film seemed to take place on the beach. The sand was warm under his feet and the water clear and cool. They didn’t have much down time since the studio was pushing for it to be finished ASAP so they could release it at the optimal time, but the few days off they did get, Ben spent either fishing with some of the crew or else exploring the picturesque town they were in. There was just one downside. You weren’t with him.
Whenever the thought crossed his mind, whenever he really started to miss you, he’d remind himself that he loved his job, loved that it took him to exciting and beautiful places. And then he’d send you a quick message to check how everything was back home. He called too, mostly in the evenings after he got back to his hotel room. But the deeper into the project he got the more night shoots there were and the later he got back to his room. What brief conversations you had were good but not quite the same as if you’d been there with him. Of course, he’d try to remind himself that it wasn’t like he’d never been away from you before. But those times had all been before you got together, and the changed nature of the relationship made him feel your absence more. He never said that to you though. Mostly, when you could talk, Ben would ask how you were and talk about the exciting things he saw. He’d tell you about the beaches or the trinket shops and say how much you’d like them but he’d never tell you exactly how badly he wished you were with him. He didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and he didn’t trust himself to explain it properly. Whenever he tried to verbalise it (quietly, to his reflection or the dark hotel room he was staying in) he worried it came out too...well, romantic.
The truth was, he’d always been attached to you, since very early on in your relationship. You just got him. His sense of humour and his personality and the way he thought. It took him no time at all to start referring to you as one of his best friends and it was a title you’d held for years. But then he’d realised the way he liked you wasn’t strictly platonic, and it made him feel weird around you. More uncertain than he was used to. He found it hard to describe the relief he’d felt when you agreed to think about his QPR idea or how, when you’d accepted, it had alleviated the uncertainty and doubts that had been plaguing him. To you it would probably sound sappy and sentimental and tat all what you wanted to hear from him. Of course the QPR was really just an extension of your friendship. More or less the same, just a few new ways to show affection like kissing and getting you off (both things Ben greatly enjoyed), and a few new words that made it specific to the two of you. And maybe a new future too, depending on how things went. But again, while he might think those sorts of thoughts, he wouldn’t know how to begin saying any of them to you. Because he was starting to really want that future with you, and saying so might make it impossible to get there.
So Ben allowed himself to miss you quietly. Occasionally an idea of inviting you to join him would pop into his head. But he always let the thought go as quickly as it came. The weeks ticked by like that. Texting when you could between scenes and less and less frequent calls at night, which left Ben’s head swimming with lots of unsaid things. Progress was made on the movie too, most of the beach scenes wrapped and everyone moving to other parts of the script. Until everything came to a screeching halt. Ben wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was – something to do with scheduling conflicts or maybe special equipment that hadn’t arrived on time. All he was told was that things would be back up and running soon but it might take an extra few weeks to complete the project. He didn’t mind so much, it gave him a bit of extra free time after all, but it also meant he wouldn’t get to see you again for a while.
The possibility of flying you out to Greece to join him had been rattling around his brain since his third week on set. You could spend a couple of weeks, maybe a month, together. He could take you to that restaurant he’d sent you photos of and show you the handmade stationery shop he’d stumbled across that he knew you’d have fun exploring. And then there was the rest of the town, thin streets to get lost in together and beautiful views to look out over. Maybe you’d like to walk along the beach with him and collect seashells or rent a little dingy to take out on the waves. Once or twice he’d come close to actually asking you to join him but he always talked himself out of it, sure it would be crossing a line for you. Missing you was one thing but offering to buy you a plane ticket and whisk you off on a getaway to a gorgeous Greek island was surely too romantic. But the news of the delay made him consider it again.
That night he called you, smiling as soon as he heard your voice. At first the call was like any other. He listened to you talk about what had been going on since he last had a chance to call, getting caught up on your mutual friends and your work and whatever else came to mind. “But what about you?” you finally said, “You must be pretty busy since I haven’t had a call from you in a little while.” “Well I was busy except not so much right now,” “Oh?” “There’s some sort of delay, I don’t the details. But it looks like I’ll be here for another few weeks at least.” “Oh.” Ben was a little surprised by how disappointed you sounded. “I really miss you,” “I miss you too,” his voice got softer as he said it, “a lot.” “I really wish I could see you,” “Well,” he said sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t reading things wrong, “how would you feel about coming out here then? I can get you a plane ticket if you want.” “No shit! You can do that? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?” Ben laughed, not quite understanding, “What are you talking about?” “I don’t know man, I’m not an actor. I just figured it’d be like a partner free zone. Like they wouldn’t want you getting distracted or whatever.” “You fucking dork,” his laughter threatened to obscure the words but he managed to make himself heard, “That’s not how it is at all. You being here wouldn’t be a problem, as long as I’m on set when they need me. Plus it looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of downtime anyway. So does that mean you wanna come?” “Ummm let me think abo- of course Ben!” “Well if I’d known you’d react like this I would have asked sooner,” The laughter had faded, leaving a grin on his face, though the embarrassment at his hesitancy was creeping up too. “Wish you had’ve. Why didn’t you?” “I just didn’t want you to take it the wrong way,” “And what way would that be?” “A romantic way? I don’t know! It’s just the sort of thing that’d happen in a romantic movie or whatever and I didn’t want to come across like that. It’s Greece man, it’s kind of a romantic place. Maybe not like Paris but it’s up there. Don’t laugh,” he groaned, “I’m just saying, white sands and clear seas and lots of pretty flowers in bloom, it’s definitely got romantic vibes.” “It didn’t even cross my mind that it might be that sort of thing. No offence to Greece, I’m sure it’s lovely.” Ben let himself chuckle at his idiocy, “I guess cause I’ve like, y’know, got feelings for you or whatever I saw the romantic side and assumed you would too. Feel silly for not just asking you but I’m glad we have that sorted now.” “I think it’s sweet, Ben. I love that you were conscious of how it might be perceived and I understand you didn’t want to hurt me. But yeah, dude, please get me that ticket, I miss you a stupid amount.” “Alright, I’m on it. When do you want to leave?”
Two days later and Ben was content, sitting and staring out at the waves on a quiet beach as you rubbed sunscreen into his back. He’d greeted you at the airport, feeling ridiculously excited to see you, squeezing you in a tight hug (which you later suggested had cracked one of your ribs). “Okay, all done, now let me do your front,” you shuffled around Ben on your knees, throwing a leg over his lap as he leaned back on his palms. “You’re such a perv,” Ben chuckled, subtly adjusting his posture to push his chest further towards you, “I bet you only suggested sunscreen so you could feel my boobs.” “Oh you caught me,” you squirted some more of the cream directly onto his chest, beginning to rub it in, “Definitely nothing to do with sun safety.” “No I get it, you don’t need to lie to me. You missed my pecks. It’s totally natural. But let me know when you’re done so I can show you the same courtesy.” "Think we might save that till we get back to the hotel, Benny,”  Ben laughed at your exasperated expression, raising one arm to pull you toward him for a kiss, barely noticing the cool of the cream still on your palm as you cupped his cheek and kissed him back.
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grasslandgirl · 3 years
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⭐ (can you talk about that beverlin fic, sav?)
aaaa lizz <3 I'm assuming you're talking about golden as I open my eyes, because i gifted it to you, and I'm MORE than happy to talk about it 🥺
i just... hoooo baby i was inspired by this post about reversing the There's Only One Bed trope and having their be two beds but end up sharing over the course of the night anyway and the longing and quiet love of the original post really spoke to me and i wanted to write some beverlin!!
i just. one of my favorite things to write are confession/ feelings realization scenes and i really loved exploring the mental image of bev and erlin waking up in the same bed in the early morning and they're both so hopeful and scared and longing; and i really wanted to explore the kind of shaky uncertain excited kind of really young love!! there's something sooo domestic and warm about bev and erlin's dynamic, even though they got together during wartime, and i wanted to explore what their dynamic would look like if it happened outside of the canon world with thiala and the battle for bahumia etc
one of my favorite lines:
It felt like they were back in the pouring rain from the night before, when everything was washed in blue light and cool water, the hot asphalt steaming as the rain evaporated. Where everything was light and joyous and exhilarating. Bev could feel Erlin laughing breathlessly, the way his shoulders jumped under Bev’s forehead, how his head shook with tiny rolling laughs. His hair brushed against Bev’s face, soft and smelling like the same herbal shampoo he’d used the night before.
of course i cant talk about my fic without talking about my dear friend mary @strangetorpedos 's erlin POV fic-of-a-fic, sunrise on the hills (starlight's got its fill) bc AAAAAA. i WEPT when they asked if they could write a fic based on my story and i WEPT AGAIN when i read it bc it's soooo good and im still SO honored that something i wrote inspired someone to write fic like. Scream! i have such talented wonderful friends <3
send in a fic and ill give you some “director’s commentary” about it!!
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years
Text
a poem for small things
by Admin 1 & 2
The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.
I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.
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For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.
Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.
From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...
I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!
I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...
I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 
Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.
But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.
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Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 
I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?
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Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.
Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...
This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.
Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.
From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜
You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.
This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.
From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.
I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.
Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.
While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.
Thank you so much for your submission!
From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month
It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!
Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️
I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.
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But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.
I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.
…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…
Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other
I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course
Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!
Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.
From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭
This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?
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The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.
From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it
Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol
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What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.
And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.
Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)
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