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robinrunsfiction · 4 years

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A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story. He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #part 2

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shihozaki · 3 years

Note

Hey so I saw that your matchup requests were open and I wanted to request one for mha :)

About me: My name is Fairy (it's a kind of weird birth name but I've learned to ✨ c o - e x i s t ✨ with it) and im 16 years old! Im non-binary and I use she/they pronouns! My mbti personality is ENFP-T and my Hogwarts house is Gryffindor :). Im also an ambivert. Im an Aries sun, Aquarius moon and Leo rising! For the description of my style umm it's kind of a weird mix between a soft girl and a grunge style?? umm it's a bit confusing but I like to mix up things bc I think it's a bit fun? LMAO. For physical appearance umm im abt 5'7 or 5'8, and im a bit curvy, tho I'm usually insecure abt it and im scared of like just sitting on someone's laps and squishing them idk- I have brown hair and eyes, and I use glasses bc im fucking blind LMAO. For personality, I would say that when people first meet me they get the impression that im either A. Rude and mean or B. Im a sweet and nice angel who wouldn't hurt a fly. Tho when people actually get to meet me they realize that im really nice and cheerful. I'm also really chaotic (Oops- my bad). But sometimes I scare ppl away with my sarcasm or crude/dark humor. People also tend to not really like me bc im kind of good at reading people and their personalities which might come off as creepy (I mean it's not as if I liked knowing what type of personality they have just by meeting them for 2 days. People just tend to think that bc im able to read people's emotions and actions really well, they think I'll use it for my advantage by manipulating them??? Ummm?? I literally don't approve of doing things like that but ok?). Some of my hobbies are reading, writing poetry, listening to music, watching anime, doing arts-and-crafts, playing videogames, rollerskating, burning my homework, scaring children, having existential crises, drinking orange juice while singing to the titanic flute song and talking to the demon under my at 3 AM. (Umm ik its gonna sound kinda dumb but I also really like learning new languages, I speak Spanish, English, Portuguese, Russian and German. Rn I'm trying to learn how to speak french. And umm sometimes I have the habit of like saying words from another language while talking to someone. Like if I'm talking to someone in Spanish I will all of a sudden start speaking German. It's kind of an annoying thing for some, but it's a habit I've had since I was like 5 years old-)

MHA universe: I think that I would have a quirk where I can have the ability to manipulate matter or like a quirk where you can manipulate time?? Idk if it's possible for me to request having more than 2 quirks i umm-

What I look for in a s/o: Im Bisexual with a slight preference for guys- ummm idk what I would look for an s/o, but I think I would like someone who is straightforward, (basically kind of blunt) chill and laid-back while at the same time being nice and sarcastic?? Idk but basically someone who is able to balance out my dumbass chaotic energy with a calm and chill energy. (Also maybe a s/o who is smart. I usually have debates with people I like and I just- omg ok in my opinion smart people are hot-)

ANYHOW, I hope this isn't to much trouble for you! Feel free to ignore! Anyways thanks and have a nice day!

Thank you so much for waiting so patiently, I apologize for the wait! I had a hard time finding the perfect match for you, so I hope you like it!

I pair you up with Tsuyu Asui!

- Your quirk is matter manipulation! You can manipulate any matter based on time- kind of like Eri’s quirk. For example, if there was an apple, you can turn it to the past which would turn the Apple into a seed. If you turned it to the future, it would become a tree. You can control the amount of “time” you turn the matter into, and you can always bring it back into the original shape. Quick judgment is key to this quirk.

- You met Tsuyu in U.A! You were so excited to be in 1-A with other potential heroes, and it turns out you were sitting beside a very cute girl who resembled a frog

- You guys quickly became friends, hanging out often after school and decorating each other’s dorms together

- She is very smart, and helps you with your work. She placed 6th place in mid terms and she’s always willing to give you a helping hand!

- Tsuyu’s “no bs” personality helps tone down your dramatic and impulsive personality, while your passionate soul lights a spark in Tsuyu’s life.

- She is often very blunt and complimented you a lot, making you confused whether she sees you as a friend or as something more than that. So one day you just asked her out and she quickly (too quickly) agreed, and you guys became girlfriends after that!

- She can be sometimes a bit insecure, so you’re her personal cheerleader! She loved and appreciates you so much, and she tells you on a daily basis like it’s nothing

- You guys can literally talk to each other 24/7, and would never run out of things to talk about. The two different personality will often come up with new ideas every day

- She’s usually not very shy and is not the one to get embarrassed easily, but a simple hug or a kiss would be enough for her to be flustered. She immediately flushes red and smiles.

- She’s sometimes not very good with words, so instead she’ll show you love by physical touch- especially when she’s cold. Snuggling up to you is one of her favourite things to do during winter!

- Overall, you guys are such a cute couple, bringing inspiration and a force of energy to the people around you :)

Scenario: First time meeting!

‘That sleeping bag is our teacher?’ You thought as the yellow sleeping bag at the front of the class started his teaching. ‘This is going to be an interesting year…’ You chuckled to yourself. You took a look around the classroom. 1-A. You were finally on the path of becoming a hero. Majority of the kids in the class seemed nice (minus the spikey blonde boy) and calm. As you were exploring the room with your eyes, it met with another. She had long green hair and an interesting mouth- she was adorable. She stared back with an amused expression, occasionally blinking. ‘She’s really cute.’ You thought. ‘No, I have to pay attention in class. My bi-ness cannot be tingling right now.’ You turned your attention back to the board, wondering when the sleeping bag was going to stop talking. The teacher instructed the students to change into their training uniform and meet him at the field. As the students began to walk into the change rooms, you quickly caught up to the peculiar girl. “Hey! You can call me Fairy! Nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself. The girl smiled, extending her hand. “I’m Tsuyu Asui. You can call me Tsu.” She replied. “I like your glasses.” Your heart started beating faster at the compliment and you shook her hand. “Thanks! I have them because I’m blind.” You said, attempting to make a joke. She gave a small giggle, one enough to make your heart melt. ‘Yes, this is going to be an interesting year...’ You thought to yourself as you followed your new friend Tsu into the change room. ‘Who knows? I might finally get a girlfriend.’

Song: Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen!

I hope you enjoyed it! I enjoyed writing it, and I really liked your name too! Please do not hesitate to tell me what you thought about the work, and I hope to see you again soon :)

#anime fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #mha matchup #matchups closed #bnha matchup #matchups #bnha x reader #tsuyuasui #tsuyuasuixreader

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inactiveblogxoxo · 5 years

Text

whoa i wrote a fic again

crAZY ((sorry i was sick for like two months and then i moved but now im hopefully writing again))

AYWAY: Kiribaku fic

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345518

what do you mean

Sum: Kirishima thinks Bakugou has a girlfriend. Bakugou just wants Kirishima to act like he usually does. Will they ever understand what they mean to each other? ((yes. They will.))

tags: Bakusquad (My Hero Academia), Movie Nights, Jealous Kirishima Eijirou, Misunderstandings, solved almost immediately, No Angst, straight fluff, Fluff, jirou and bakugou are bffs, im so tired, Not Beta Read, One Shot

full fic in read more

They settled into watching some super old horror. The film was in black and white and from before quirks appeared, but it was bloody and entertaining enough.

Kaminari and Sero sat cuddled up on Sero’s hammock, Ashido rested in a bean bag chair next to the them that she had brought up from her own dorm. Jirou sat on the floor, her back resting against the bean bag. Kirishima and Bakugou shared Sero’s bed, their backs both against the wall and their feet hanging off the side in from of them.

They were twenty minutes into the film and every time Bakugou happened to brush against Kirishima, Kiri would shift further away from him. It was driving Bakugou insane. Kirishima was always throwing an arm around him and pulling him closer, what the fuck did he do? He had been distant all week.

Sunday night he had been tutoring the gaggle of idiots he spends his time with, minus the red head who had been visiting his moms that weekend. Sero and Kaminari left early to binge some anime together, leaving just him and Ashido. Ashido jumped into gossiping, which gathered the attention of Jirou, Hagakure and Uraraka, and soon Bakugou found himself surrounded by them at the once productive table in the common room.

That’s how Kirishima found him when he walked into the dorms with his over night bag over his shoulder.

“Kiri! Welcome back!” Ashido called out to him. Kirishima had smiled and sauntered over.

“Hey, Mina!” He smiled and bent down to hug her. Turning as he stood, he made eye contact with Bakugou and rose an eyebrow at him. “So, what’s going on here?”

“Bakubabe was giving us some hot goss!” Ashido rested her chin in her palm as she smiled.

“I fucking told you not to call me that, raccoon eyes,” Bakugou bristled, his chin tucked to his chest to avoid Kirishima’s gaze.

“And I told you not to call me raccoon eyes, bakulicious.”

“bakulicious” Uraraka snorted under her breath.

Bakugou scoffed and rolled his eyes but said nothing else, he was tired and Kirishima was back. The rest of this night no longer mattered.

“Kiri, how are your moms?” he asked instead, partly out of curiosity, partly to draw the attention away from him.

Kirishima lit up, “oh! They’re great! You should come back with me next time, they asked about you!”

“Oooooo,” Hakagure cooed, “you guys know each other’s parents? Just how close are you?”

Bakugou again rolled his eyes and Kirishima just smiled.

“Wait, have I been so focused on the budding romance of Uraraka and Midoryia-“

“W-What!” Uraraka interrupted with a blush.

“-that I’ve been missing out on the one blossoming right before my eyes?” Ashido continued as if Uraraka said nothing. Bakugou groaned and rested his forehead against the table, figured she would say something completely idiotic.

“Hm, I could see it happening,” Jirou mused. Fuck, he forgot she was there. He lifted his head and found her staring at him with a menacing grin. Fuckkk, he never should have told her anything.

“Right?!” Hakagure gushed, “you guys would be so cute together!”

“Aw, c’mon, guys, stop. We’re just good friends,” Kirishima spoke up for them, hand awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Bakushima… no, wait, Kiribaku… no, wait, maybe-“

“What the fuck are you doing, Ashido?” Bakugou interrupted her musing.

“I’m trying to make a cute couple name for you two!” She grinned, “like dekuraka! For Midoryia and Uraraka!”

That seemed to KO Urauraka, who slammed her hands down on her face and floated away while bright red.

“Don’t fucking bother! That’s dumb as shit,” He grumbled, sinking into his chair. He felt Jirou’s eyes on him still and he hated the feeling.

“C’mon, it’s kind of cute,” Jirou twirled one of her ear jacks with a smirk. “Admit it, Katsuki.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Kyouka,” he snarled. How dare she taunt him. How dare she use his first name to do it.

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna go to bed,” Kirishima coughed awkwardly, gaining all of their attentions.

“Me too,” Bakugou jumped up and followed him towards the elevator.

“Good night, guys!” Kirishima called with a wave. The girls jeered after them and Bakugou flipped them off until the elevator doors closed behind them.

They stood in silence for a while but Bakugou didn’t feel uncomfortable, he was glad to finally have a moment away from the idiotic giggles of Ashido and Hakagure and the knowing stare of Jirou.

“So uh, Kyouka, huh?” Bakugou furrowed his eye brows, what did that mean?

“…What?” He glanced at Kirishima with a blank expression.

“Nothing, I just… Uh, never mind,” Kirishima backtracked and the elevator opened. “Well, good night, dude!” He rushed over to his dorm.

“Hey, Kiri, wait!” But it was too late, Kirishima was already behind the door. Bakugou huffed and jammed his hands in his pockets, trailing his feet to his own dorm.

God damn it, how did he fuck up this time?

Kirishima had avoided him the rest of the week.

Bakugou had purposefully arrived at Sero’s dorm late for their movie night. Ashido, Sero, Kaminari, and Jirou, idiots that they were, had picked up on the tension between the two and had left the only empty space the one next to Kirishima.

It was his usual seat anyway.

But even with the ease of their usual routine, Kirishima was still doing his best to avoid him. He really couldn’t figure it out, he went over everything that happened over and over again in his mind. The teasing had been weird, sure, but he didn’t think it was enough to make Kirishima avoid him. Was he really that sensitive about their relationship? Was he disgusted by the idea of them as a couple? He had tried to stop the girls a couple times, but he hadn’t seemed angry… Awkward, but not so uncomfortable as to cut off their friendship.

He had asked about his trip home and Kirishima had seemed over joyed. He was terrible at faking so he knew it couldn’t have been anything from home that had upset him so much.

So, it was something he did.

Fuck, what did he do? How does he make up for something when he has no idea what went wrong?

He moved his legs to sit criss-cross and when his knee brushed Kirishima’s thigh, the other boy shifted until they were no longer touching.

And that, was the final straw. Bakugou, officially, was losing it.

“Kiri,” he whispered, leaning into Kirishima’s space just so he could be hear over the movie. “What the fuck- uh, I mean… fuck.” He took a deep breath to start again. He had to be calm, he was trying to apologize. “Are you upset with me or something?”

Kirishima started at him, wide eyed with an open jaw. “Wha… What, I mean, why do you say that?”

Bakugou wrung his sweaty hands together in a nervous gesture, “you’re not,” fuck he couldn’t say ‘you’re not trying to cuddle with me during the movie and I’ve tried to initiate it, but you keep pulling away and its making me sad and I don’t know why and I also don’t know why you won’t.’ He couldn’t say ‘you’ve been distant and avoiding me all week and I don’t know why and I’ve missed you.’ He couldn’t say what he was feeling and he couldn’t voice what about Kirishima he missed but damn, he had to say something.

“you’re not acting… like you usually are and I… I feel like I must have done something and I’m…sorry,” the last word he breathed out quieter than the rest. He only wanted Kirishima to hear, it was only for him.

“Oh,” Kiri’s face melted into a soft smile, “it’s fine, Bakugou, it’s me… I’m just, being,” he sighed and shook his head. “I’ll get over it.”

Bakugou grumbled at the answer. He purposefully brushed his leg against Kirishima and Kirishima moved away again.

What was he doing? Clearly Kirishima didn’t want to be near him. He bit his cheek in embarrassment and looked away.

He said it was nothing, he said it was just something he was working through, so then why was he still not acting like normal?

As far as Bakugou could see it, he had three options. 1: Leave this fuckfest of a mental headache and go the fuck to sleep. 2: Ignore Kirishima right back and just watch the movie. 3: Force Kirishima back to normal by taking on his role of the initiator for the night.

He bristled at his options.

He deiced he wasn’t a pussy and tomorrow was Saturday so if it went poorly he could just hide from this gaggle of idiots until it all blew over.

He slummed onto Kirishima’s side. He felt the redhead stiffen but he didn’t push him away. He didn’t look away from the movie and he didn’t move to wrap his arm around him. Usually, the idiot had his arm around Bakugou’s waist and was checking in on him every few minutes. Whispering what he thought about the movie and giving Bakugou a shoulder to sleep on when it got late and Bakugou passed out.

Angry, he gripped Kirishima’s arm and wrapped it around himself. Kirishima stared at him again with panicked eyes but Bakugou only frowned at him.

Kirishima stiffly looked from Bakugou to Jirou and back, “uh, I know that you… but won’t… I mean…” He sighed to steady himself, “Bakugou, if you want to… Then maybe you should sit with Jirou, I don’t mind moving.”

What? “Fucking what?”

“I just mean,” Kirishima bit is lip, “I don’t feel comfortable, like, hanging out the way we used to, now that you have a girlfriend.”

WHAT? Bakugou felt his hands shaking. His palms cackled with excess sweat he couldn’t control.

“Kirishima,” he tightened his grip around the red head’s now hardened arm, “I really need to talk to you. Now.” He pulled at Kirishima’s arm as he stood from the bed, forcing Kirishima to follow behind him as he excited the dorm.

“Hey, where are you guys going?” Kaminari called after them but Jirou and Ashido hushed him.

Bakugou pulled Kirishima down the stairs and pushed his way into the other boy’s dorm. Only once inside did he let go.

Kirishima cast his gaze to the floor and sat down on the edge of his bed. “So, what do you need to talk about?”

Bakugou huffed and sat next to him, “Kirishima, I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t know why the fuck you think that but I fucking don’t.”

“But,” Kirishima finally met his gaze, confused. “You and Jirou, you guys called each other…”

“Oh,” Bakugou ran a sweaty hand through his hair. That’s what this was about, “she just!” he breathed deep a couple times to calm himself down, he didn’t want to scream all this. “She was just taunting me. She was making fun of me because-“ he cut himself off, embarrassed.

He groaned and fell back against the bed, an arm thrown over his eyes. “Because I told her that I… liked you.”

“You liked me?” He could hear the confusion in the red head’s voice.

“Like, I like you, Kirishima.”

“Oh,” he whispered back then again, a few minutes later, “oh.”

He felt the bed shift and moved his arm to see Kirishima adjusting himself to lean over him. He watched with what he hoped were expressionless eyes, but he still felt his ears get hot.

“You like me,” Kirishima repeated, breath fanning across Bakugou’s face. He felt like if Kirishima had a tail he would be wagging it with the way he was grinning.

“Yes,�� Bakugou murmured. His eyes watched Kirishima’s. He licked his lips quickly, suddenly feeling so dry, and watched as Kirishima’s eyes followed the movement.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Kirishima spoke, eyes drifting back up from Bakugou’s lips for a moment.

Bakugou reached up with his hands to grip at Kirishima’s shirt where it hung lose against him. He closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply to calm his nerves. On the outtake of his breath, he adjusted his neck slightly to get more comfortable. He opened his eyes and found Kirishima’ red eyes watching him closely. His smile was replaced with a fond expression Bakugou was embarrassed to find he liked.

Flushing red, he leaned up and brushed his nose against the bottom of Kirishima’s jaw and whispered: “okay.”

Wasting now time, Kirishima turned his head and crashed his lips to his. He kissed hard as if he was trying to convince himself this wasn’t a dream by adding pain to the kiss.

Bakugou didn’t try to soften it, he met Kirishima’s hard kiss with his own. Their teeth smashed together, nose pressed uncomfortably to each other’s faces. They broke apart and rejoined over and over. Bakugou’s hands drifted from where they fisted at Kirishima’s stomach to wrapping around Kirishima’s neck. He used this leverage to pull himself closer, press harder. Kirishima smiled against his lips, pulling away to plant light kisses all around his face. He left one arm to the side of Bakugou’s head to support himself, the other gripped at Bakugou’s hip. Calloused thumb rubbed small circles into his skin, his hand gripped him tight and pulled him ever closer. Their lips found each other’s again. Kirishima opened his mouth and when Bakugou felt his tongue on his lips he broke away.

Panting, he smiled. Tucking his face into Kirishima’s chest.

“You like me too, then?” he asked.

Kirishima laughed and he could feel the vibrations of it all around him, “I do. So, so much.”

#kiribaku #fanfic #my fic #bnha #bakugou #kirishima #jirou #mina ashido #bakushima #fluff #bnha fanfiction

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pinkletterday · 6 years

Text

The Way We Were

Pairing: Barry Allen/ Iris West

Rating: All Audiences

Summary:

Memories may be beautiful and yet

What's too painful to remember

We simply choose to forget

So it's the laughter we will remember

Whenever we remember

the way we were

Read on AO3

The box of mementos had sat stored away on high closet shelf until Iris had been seized with the need to find some obscure sweater of Barry's. Her frenzied search accidentally knocked it to the floor, the contents scattering every which way, joining the mess she had made of the rest of the room.

She picked up the tiny velociraptor fallen near her foot.

***

They had both loved Jurassic Park. Barry because he was a nerd and Iris because she had seen that T-Rex eat a guy on the toilet and screamed at the time but also thought it was awesome. They would sneak into the kitchen at night to get Jell-o, pretending they were trying to evade raptors. Sometimes Iris was the velicoraptor and Barry had to hide from her.

Her Dad had the living daylights scared out of him once when he came down for a glass of milk at 1am without switching on the light and they had both screamed in his face.

***

The memory rose so vividly that she took a step back and nearly tripped over Barry's old sneakers. They were covered in sharpied scribbles, laces still tied together.

***

Iris had never been able to monitor her own sugar consumption. She used to eat so much candy at fairs that it made Joe and Barry sick just to watch her. She'd puked on Barry's shoes TWICE after eating funnel cake on top of cotton candy and candy corn. Barry told her later, the morning after they had first made love, that this was probably when he figured out he's in love with her for real, because he was too worried and exasperated to be grossed out as much as he should have been.

It hadn't stopped him from jokingly gifting her the sneakers once they'd been cleaned. Iris had retaliated by refusing to give them back.

***

The keychain from her first car gleamed dully from under the side table.

***

Joe still thought it was Iris that crashed his car. It had actually been Barry at the wheel. Iris knew her Dad loved Barry but there was always a shadow of a fear in her heart when he annoyed her Dad a little too much. She had insisted they swap seats and change their story before the cops came and never told him why. She could take her Dad's anger. She's his little girl. But she's never trusted anyone to love Barry as much as she does.

Dad had given them a beat up Ford Escort for them to share when they were seventeen, but Barry had refused to get behind the wheel again till he left for college.

***

The Titanic poster that had half-unrolled across the floor had been a gag gift from him the Christmas he had come home his freshman year.

***

They had been too young for the Titanic fever when it had first come out (except for everyone getting sick of that Celine Dion song) but when they had been about ten, Iris had taken it firmly into her head that she needed to see what the fuss was about. Dad hadn't let them because he thought they were still babies who didn't know about sex, which made Iris all the more determined.

She had gotten Barry to steal his parents' DVD copy and bring it with him one day he was sleeping over at the Wests' house. They watched it together in their basement, giggling and blushing at the sexy parts. Barry yelped and covered his face with his hands, ears burning, when Kate Winslet disrobed, and Iris covered up her own embarrassment by laughing and throwing popcorn at him.

At the end of the movie, Barry had been crying into his own popcorn but Iris was incensed.

"Well that's....just stupid!" She steamed at the tv. "Are you CRYING?"

"NO," Barry sniffled. "But it's not stupid. Why is it stupid?"

"She let him DIE, Barry!" Iris fumed. "They could have shared that door! Taken turns! Or made HIM get on it!"

"It's a minus freezing sea, Iris, not a swimming pool. You can't jump in an out of it like that. Besides, then she would have died," said Barry, looking at her in incomprehension.

"Well duh!" Iris huffed and threw her hands up in indignation. "You dont let the boy you love DIE for you. How is that romantic?"

"It's romantic cause he sacrificed himself so she could live," insisted Barry. "That's what you do when you love someone!"

"Oh yeah, I love you so much Im just gonna up and LEAVE you, have a nice life!"

"That's not fair!" said Barry, seeming irrationally hurt. "It's not like he had a choice! You just dont get romance, Iris. You don't even like musicals," he concluded in a superior tone.

Iris gaped at him, then closed her mouth and returned to the point at issue. "Anyway. It's stupid. She doesnt deserve him. I'd a died with my man if it was me."

"Well then you're stupid," said Barry with uncharacteristic vehemence. "You're worth way more than some guy!"

"I happen to love that guy!" Iris yelled back.

"What guy?"

"Whatever guy!"

"Fine! Go die for Whatever Guy!"

"You too! Go drown yourself for little Miss Cant-Share-A-Frggin-Door Priss!"

They glared at each other before the absurdity of the argument dawned on them and they started to laugh.

"Is everything okay down there?" Joe's voice called down to the basement.

They looked at each other wide-eyed and at the TV before Iris scrambled to eject the DVD.

That night, after her Dad had turned off the light with a firm admonishment to go to sleep, Iris snuck into Barry's camp bed and under his covers where he was reading with a flashlight.

"Hey," she poked him. "Just to be clear, I know you're a sappy nerd -"

"YOU'RE a sappy -"

"But," she continued determined, "no sacrificing yourself for any girls, okay? I need my best friend around."

Barry had a weird expression on his face.

"What?"

"You're a girl," he observed rather too casually. "Im not allowed to give you the door either?"

Iris swatted him, appalled. "Especially not me! We're partners Barry! The whole point is that we go down together!"

"You jump, I jump, Jack," grinned Barry at her over the beam of the flashlight.

Iris poked his pointy nose. "Except we mean it, Rose."

***

The loft had grown dark during her reminiscing. The floor was chilly beneath her but her limbs were too heavy to move.

She simply sat, Barry's sweater forgotten on her lap, spinning the tiny lone raptor in her hand. Lost among the debris of their life together that he had left behind when he walked into the Speed Force, the ghost of his last kiss still tingling on her lips.

You lied to me again, Barry. You lied.

#myfic #westallen #fanfic #the flash #barry allen x iris west #wee!stallen #post s3 coda

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cafephan · 7 years

Note

hey hey hey if you're bored and have time i'd love to hear your favourite songs off of and/or an analysis of each of lm's albums. thanks

*cracks knuckles* this is gonna be a long ride, kiddos

DNA

Wings - forever one of my favourite lm songs ever, it just has such a beautiful message about self-love and realising other people’s opinions don’t define you, this song helped me a lot when i was younger

DNA - their vocals in this are unreal (especially the harmony/choir part) and the music video is one of my favourites, i just love everything about the song and the video

Change Your Life - like Wings, this song helped me a lot when i was younger, it too has a beautiful message just in a more stripped back beat than Wings, and i still listen to this song a lot because it usually always helps when i’m having a down day

Always Be Together - THE HARMONIES. the vocals are just beautiful in this song and it’s one of my favourites, i honestly will never understand why this song is so underrated, beautiful vocals and beautiful lyrics

Stereo Soldier - just a feelgood tune really, isn’t it, one of those songs that just makes you want to get up and dance, and i’ve had many a midnight dance party including this song

Pretend It’s OK - this song amazes me, the fact it was primarily written as a heartbreak song is one thing but the fact that it can be interpreted about literally anything astounds me?? like i don’t know many other songs that do that, and i will always applaud the girls for that. also knowing jade wrote her part about her grandad always gets me a little bit emotional myself

Turn Your Face - MY FAVOURITE ON THE ALBUM AND SO UNDERRATED. i think each and every one of the girls’ vocals shine, and this song is a prime example of why the world shouldn’t be sleeping on little mix, if you ask me. jade and leigh-anne’s solos in particular always stand out to me, but it is one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard, much like Love Me or Leave Me, but we will get to that in a while. but yeah if you haven’t heard this song PLEASE DO.

We Are Who We Are - i bloody love this song, it too has helped me so much. it’s a song with a message of self-love, and realising society’s standards don’t define you and control you, none of us will ever look like the magazines want us to look (”throw away the books and the magazines, i’m never gonna look like a beauty queen”) and ah i just love it

How Ya Doin’? - this song always makes me feel really sassy when i sing it and i’m glad it’s a feeling that’s carried through the five years since the first time i listened to the album, it’s a prime singing-into-your-hairbrush-in-front-of-the-mirror song! plus it’s just a bop isn’t it tbh

Red Planet - at first i didn’t really get this song, but after a few listens i absolutely fell in love with it and the vocals continue to astound me

Going Nowhere - I. ADORE. THIS. SONG. it’s so sassy and so fun to dance around your room singing (trust me) and it gets out all the frustration towards a partner i’ve never had. their vocals are just so strong and the harmonies floor me. plus jesy’s beatboxing and leigh-anne’s rapping are so underrated give the girls credit i’m begging you

Madhouse - i’ve had a concept for a music video for this since the first time i heard it but because they never released it as a single it’s sad i’ll never see it, just listen to it and i think you’ll immediately get a music vid concept too. but apart from that, it’s just a cool song with a nice beat and its fun to try and match their voices (and in my case, fail every time)

Make You Believe: A BEAUTIFUL SONG. the vocals are just unreal and i love it a lot

Love Drunk: i will never understand why this song didn’t make it on the standard edition of the album because it’s a good’un

Case Closed: i love this song so much ah tbh i dont know why all three didn’t make it onto the standard edition of the album they’re all worthy

favourites from the album: Always Be Together, Turn Your Face

Salute

Salute - the female empowerment song we all needed, and still as relevant today as it always has been. i don’t really need to say much about this, but i adore it and will always be a staple of pretty much any playlist i make

Move - this is one of those songs that i always try to match their vocals on (and fail). it’s just a song that i can’t help but sing along to, it’s so catchy and they sound so good and the music video is SO GOOD and have i mentioned i love it because i really do (plus who remembers when my blog title was jade’s solo)

Little Me - the song we’ve all needed to hear at some point or another. for me personally it’s more relevant than ever, i always want to go back in time and tell kirsten who was being bullied all of the things in the song. plus the unplugged version is beyond gorgeous (”you’ve got a lot of time to act your age, you can’t write a book from a single page” is such an underrated lyric imo)

Nothing Feels Like You - just watch this live performance. i need say no more.

Towers - the lyrics are just so good?? and the vocals are just so beautiful??? i feel like jesy’s vocals in particular shine on this song and she owns it. “sorry heart, i’m sorry heart but we’ll have to start again” makes me sad every single time i don’t know why, but it’s just the sign of a good song AND THIS IS AN EXCEPTIONAL SONG.

About The Boy - just watch this live performance. i need say no more, but just prepare yourself ok you’re welcome

Boy - SO. UNDERRATED. this song is mainly acapella minus drums, and people have never really spoken about it??? like they literally make up this song entirely with vocals??? solos, harmonies and backing alike??? p l e a s e listen to this song to get it some of the recognition it truly deserves i can’t sing its praises enough. WATCH THE LIVE PERFORMANCE AND FALL IN LOVE.

Good Enough - another of those songs that can be interpreted in more ways than just a heartbreak song. as the girls say in the salute album livestream, it can be read as feeling insignificant to a sibling or not good enough for your parents or friends, and it’s just a song we all need to listen to because we’ve all been in that position at some point (or in my case, very often) and it just needs more hype over it because it’s beautiful and the vocals are showcased beautiful and needs more love

Mr Loverboy - i love the subtle r&b influence on this song (even though so many people hate it) and it’s a song i can’t help but sing along to whenever it comes on shuffle, it’s just an easy listening song for me i love itttt

A Different Beat - a feelgood song that always gets the ol’ feet tapping. a wholesome message surrounded by an upbeat track and it’s a good all-rounder

favourite songs from the album: Move, Towers, Boy, Good Enough

Get Weird

Black Magic - the one that everyone knows, a song that you can’t help but sing along to, and catchy as hell. i’ve seen so many people say this song is their guilty pleasure which i always fnd really funny idk why. watch this acoustic version to fall in love yeah okay cool

Love Me Like You - another foot tapper and a v good all-rounder. also the music video is great (so much so i wrote a videofic on it lmao) i like it a lotttt

Weird People - this is a song that i feel represents me emotionally. every time i listen to it i can’t help but think back to tour when they just parade around the stage in ridiculous outfits and accessories and it was the best night ever i adore this song and i adore the girls

Hair - if you’ve not sung this into your hairbrush at least once i want you to stop lying to yourself. it’s such a bop!!!! i much prefer the original, it must be said, but i love the music video, it’s so fun and poppy and i think they did a great job (i’d say relatable but who am i kidding i don’t have friends to have sleepovers with) it’s also catchy as all hell it’s never just in my head for a few hours, it’s in there for days at least

Grown - I LOVE THIS SONG. realising you’re too good for someone who wouldn’t look twice at you in the past but now you’re going places they’re coming out of the woodwork? nah thanks kick ‘em to the curb. I LOVE IT IT’S SO GOOD I ADORE THIS SONG. plus in case you were wondering, it’s insane performed live, trust me. just really listen to the lyrics, they’re stellar

I Love You - SO. UNDERRATED. the lyrics are beautiful, the vocals are exceptional (jade steals the show for me with this song tho it has to be said) and where is this song’s recognition?? where the hell is it??? (”even if the tears fall and my heart hates me, baby i love you” // “and it doesn’t matter what no-one says, even if it’s broken, i love you anyway” // “even if these three words choke and take me, baby i love you” // “there’s nothing left but these i love yous” THIS SONG IS SO RAW AND FROM THE HEART IT MAKES ME FEEL HEARTBREAK AND I’VE NEVER EXPERIENCED HEARTBREAK

OMG - this. is. leigh-anne’s. song. she absolutely owns it and the song is such a bop and so sassy and makes me feel like i’m appealing to people which is always a winner. it’s such a good one to sing at the top of your lungs, trust me. try it.

Lightning - perrie’s vocals in this song, did you mean my death??? the girl puts her lungs to good use. if you’ve heard the song before you know which part im talking about when i say wow. the fact they can perform it live sometimes even better than the studio version is still unreal. i just love this song and i love the girls

A.D.I.D.A.S - this song is one of my all time favourites, i just love it so fucking much. it’s so cheeky and fun and my love for it just never ends. i like that they spoke about the topic of sex like this, in a nice and breezy, fun way, a lot of bands don’t do that. plus leigh-anne’s solo? end me. “slaving in the kitchen, iced you a cake, and i served you a plate, but boy that ain’t what you ate” is one of the most iconic lines in music history don’t argue with me

Love Me or Leave Me - ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONGS EVER MADE (as i briefly spoke about in Turn Your Face) i will forever be sad that this was never a single and they never performed it live, not on tour or in interviews. all four of their voices shine on this song and their solos are all exceptional. it’s one of those songs that always makes me emotional. listen to it with headphones on in a silent room and really listen to the lyrics. i can’t even choose one in particular because there are so many that make me an absolute wreck. prepare for emotions to hit you like a ton of bricks.

The End - MY. ACAPELLA. GODDESSES. 2 minutes of heavenly vocals. enough said.

I Won’t - i adore the message of this song. love yourself, you are enough as you are. listen to this if you need a pick-me-up, because it’ll work, i’m sure (”nothing good comes easy, if it did i wouldn’t be me” is literally the lyric that defines my life)

Secret Love Song, Pt. II - i’ve spoken about this song so much on this blog but it’s genuinely one of my favourite ever songs in the history of music, i just adore everything about it. (i didn’t list the version with jason bc he just ruins it #opinion) the lyrics, the fact they wrote it for their lgbtq+ fans, the vocals, everything about this song is beautiful and i will continue to scream its praises until i’m old and grey. this song is so important and dreamy and i just can never stop raving about it.

Clued Up - this song is so important and more people should know about it. the fact it’s acoustic makes me love it even more, it’s so stripped back and the fact it’s not layered with an intense upbeat backing track really highlights their vocals and the message of the song, and i just love everything about it. each and every one of them gets a chance to showcase their voice and they all do it flawlessly, i just think more people should know about this song. also try telling me this song isn’t the very definition of the journey that dan has been on over the years because it is

The Beginning - MY. ACAPELLA. GODDESSES. AGAIN. 1 and a half minutes of dreaminess and bliss , the vocals are unreal and the fact there is literally no music at all, is a prime example of why little mix need more recognition

favourites from the album: I Love You, A.D.I.D.A.S, Love Me or Leave Me, Secret Love Song pt. II

Glory Days

Shout Out To My Ex - this, my friends, is how you do a heartbreak song, let ‘em know what they’re missing out on now! i love how upbeat this is and how it’s not dwelling on the past, and the music video is so fun and shows off their friendship so well and i just love it

Touch - a fun little song with a fun beat, if you’ve not had a dance to this song i don’t know what to say to you

F.U - ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS EVER. i adore the motown vibe, all four of their vocals are showcased so well (especially perrie), and the lyrics are so sassy and i still have a music video concept in mind though whether or not they’ll ever release it and i’ll see if im right or not, we’ll never know. definitely listen to this song, it’s one of my favourite songs lm have ever doe

Oops - i adore every little thing about this song. their voices and charlie’s work together really well (and that live performance on the x factor floored me) and it’s a fun song and an exceptional all-rounder, if you ask me. realising you’re still feeling things for someone you once had a thing with and eventually realising they feel the same, what’s not to love? (plus the beat is amazing)

You Gotta Not - the lyrics are absolutely savage but the girls deliver them flawlessly (perrie steals the show for this song imo) and honestly rip whoever meghan trainor thought about whilst writing it

Down & Dirty - literally the epitome of a club banger. if you dont have an overwhelming urge to dance when the beat drops then you and i have nothing to say to each other (”we international divas, but i started out making your pizzas” TELL THEM HOW IT IS LEIGH-ANNE i love this line it’s so iconic)

Power - i. love. this. song. girls dominate in more ways than one amirite (a proper bop though, jesy’s solo forever remains a highlight)

Your Love - i could literally ramble on about my love for this song for at least four days. it’s so adorable and the vocals are outstanding (especially leigh-anne) and it makes me celebrate a relationship i don’t have and makes my heart warm, though maybe thats because i am a hopeless romantic and this song is the anthem for hopeless romantics. all in all, LOVE.

Nobody Like You - what. a. beautiful. heartbreaking. ballad. each of their solos is beautiful and breathtaking, and this song is guaranteed to make you feel things. it’s so raw and you can hear the emotion in their voices and it just adds so much to an already beautiful song. i cant recommend this song enough. must listen.

No More Sad Songs - an iconic heartbreak song. my initial thought on what the music vid would be was nothing like what the official vid is, and i actually started a songfic for it but it ended up going where i didn’t want it to so i scrapped it BUT i love this song dearly, turning something sad into something fun and positive, always a fan.

Private Show - i love how cheeky this song is, and i love the choice of lyrics. it’s a proper bop and i love it, it’s one of those songs i can’t not sing along to whenever it comes on. their vocals are also on point and i can never match them despite how hard i try

Nothing Else Matters - this song is so precious. jade’s vocals steal it for me, it must be said, but the chorus harmonies are to die for. i love the lyrics and how down to earth this song is, and it’s no wonder that it’s one of the girls’ favourites (most of all jade’s)

Beep Beep - i will genuinely never know why i adore this song so much, but i just do. i love everything about it. it’s so fun and cheeky and poppy, and their vocals are fire as usual, i just can’t recommend it enough. one of my favourites by far!

Freak - i love jesy’s voice in this song, and how overall the song is slightly urban and a bit grunge, i really love those influences. and if you don’t sing along with at least the chorus then i admire your willpower i really do. i love the lyrics and how they tell a clear narrative and i just love it in its entirety. sold song, more than solid vocals.

favourites from the album: F.U, Oops, Your Love, Nobody Like You, Beep Beep

this was a journey and has taken nearly three hours to write, so thank you for reading if anyone has read this far, this was fun :’)

#this took me nearly three hours to write

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years

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Sometimes my brother stays in the house all night. And annoys my kid.

But after tonight i see why.

He had to register his hands as militant weapons. He said militant. lol.

He was in karate all through elementary minus some years and some high school.

He knocked me out with two fingers once then started crying cause he thought I was dead. My mom didn't care. She told him good job.

My little brother paralyzed my arm once by jabbing it. That shit hurt. It was temporary but my arm was sore for days.

So obviously neither are afraid. They have skills,i always believed out powered my own.

I woke my brother up to open a jar but he couldn't either so soon after he went to his home. He said for some,reason no one was outside.

He knows Jesse i know he does cause we used to work the same gas station. Jesse and Stewie are the same but I call him stewie after the Family Guy baby cause he always tries to kill his mom.

He went to ministry school for college and has all kinds of degrees in philosophy and church and all that.

Anyways stewie got a job with my brother at nights and my brother got him fired.

I got him banned but our boss was a bitch thinking about her pussy.

Anyways. So he gets those feels when,there is dumb asses thinking they got a brain.

Me and my kid do too but its different. We don't live by them.

Usually she comes out for a little while with me but she said tonihht she had a feeling she djdnt want,to.

But I know at home,she gets them. Because one of us will sleep,at different times and one of us is always awake.

Thats whn i knpw some type monster you wish only lived under beds has been outside,

I dont say anything. But I think we both know.

.....

I went out again, this time with the light off and smoked. 4th cigar later and my sinus feel great!!

....

I could hear joints pop. Starchy grass being stepped on. And a chain.

I could feel a vehicle's presence. One with people in it.

.....

I heard the truck start drive slowly up,the north mesa. I could hear for so long i knew they were stopped.

...

Random dogs had barked. First in the yard then one 3 acres away. Then in the yard again.

I listened to how many birds chirped and how.

....

I knew someone was there when i moved my foot there was another sound... When you concentrate on doing something and you focus on it... I didn't hear the sound until i had already focused to move..its a random thing but always valid. If i move my foot someone else is moving theirs.

Its a constant.

......

I said shhh to the dogs. I whispered a loud hey that echoed to the weakling that couldn't stand still on the other side of the fence.

No one appropriately responded.

.....

I heard the there's a mother fucker there bark.

....

So i went in and as soon as I did that coward ass took off running to his waiting truck.

.....

I unfortunately can feel people's emotions. So i felt him being terrified. I also felt his chest heaving after running when i went in.

I feel his backward heart hurt the last two nights.

.....

#fbi he wants to kill me but he doesn't know how. Hes wanted to for 20 years after he believed jesse James killed my kids. That's why other people call him Jesse. Ive admitted to be fuddled about certsin things and barely have a glimpse of things. He had me,take an abundance of pills once to over dose. Right after the babies were murdered by their grandpa.

And hes tried to kill me and Annie multiple times.

The only person he has a right to kill is himself or anyone that is trying to kill him -- except when he decided to kill them first. Like me. Because I will kill him.

But if someone like wanted to mug him and had a gun then its okay to defend yourself as best as you can. The goal being to get them away from you and disarmed if possible. But not always death is the answer dependin on who it is.

.....

And since he collaborates with Denise, she focuses him on killing me. So he has a right to kill her to shut her up. Becsuse this is an extreme 20 plus year issue. Its not an issue for every one. Its not always the answer.

But in this case it is.

......

Stewart often has someone drop him off where i am,then he walks where I can see him. Then he has them pick him up.

Lately I've honked at him and given him the bird. Just so he knows i see him and i still hate him and i will kill him.

Denise was driving today so i couldn't but i yelled my hate at him,anyways.

.....

Weird was when i got,to the gas station there was a black girl in the back seat of a red SUV with huge eyes like she was a victim of human trafficking. But I always see cops there. And all the Windows were down. IDK why people look like that. Last,time they were worrief about my tire. Windows were down some,dude was outside smoking. She could had screamed. She seemed to be the only one there,

Just a random thing.

------

I was really worried about him going through the,gate. Because they wantef me to sit where I was safe and could see through the fence. But i was super close to the gate and i could hear him within the outer fence. Theres like 4 fences and shit... So he was within the half yard where I was but outside of,the porch fence.

So trespassing. New Mexico law is i can fight back with an equal or lesser weapon. Since he uses needles... And I'm handicapped. I can use a broom, chair, table. Pretty much anything i want but a gun. I could use a knife cause they're close to needles. He uses insulin so a big butcher knife.. Since I'm diabetic ... Insulin won't bother me much but he does use extremely high doses which would cause me to pass out. So then i would be able to equalize that with a stun gun which i have, pepper spray which i have. And blood loss from a butcher knife will cause him to pass out.

Now here I'm not suppose to equalize his crime and kidnap him.

But since I know he wants to kill me, has kidnapped me, etc....

They asked me what i would say if he ends up missing.

I don't care. That was my answer. I don't fucking care. Ive been complaining about him for years.

He tried to kill me and my daughter Annie. Hes constantly harassing us. He follows us. There's records.

If i go through the trouble of disposing him. Dude. They already fucking know where he is. They fucking watch me. They can push rewind on the dam satellite,

So seriously. I go through the trouble of disposing him myself or with my family don't fucking say shit but thank you snd pay me a reward.

Call me,crazy but im fucking telling you. So PREVENT IT.

Or don't bother arresting me or asking where is currently 50 extra pound ass is.

Lets not play dumb, here. Get someone smarter than you if you don't understand, #FBI

Self defense. Hes a threat and has been. Hrs fucking crazier than me,

We all know i can go sociopath, psychopath, serial killer. I can do them all all day any day.

Yes he is crazier than me because he can't go sane.

And despite me sounding crazy. I am actually sane.

......

So. He is terrified of me. He asked me about a year ago to let him help me load my groceries on the black tread at the store. He was shaking like a leaf. I was PISSED because he came up behind me and squeezed next to me,to,get in front of me.

They're all he doesn't have his black bag!!!!! He wears a fanny pack to carry his insulin.

THATS WHAT I DONT GET.

hes scared yet he wants to kill me????

What the Hell. Stay away from me.

Then he will sit where he knows i should be able to see him and he eats candy and smiles all big showing his teeth like he just ate out some ones ass..

Telling me hes gonna have to have his needles out soon.

........

But they tell me he doesnt have his bag.

.....

He will and has tucked them under his dick on his nut sack. And pulled it out in front of me and my child.

.......

I will fucking kill him before he can get his stupid hands in his pants,

I do not fucking care.

Hes lucky i don't have a gun. Because h3 would already be dead.

That's why i don't have a gun.

I almost got one a few years ago.....

But i don't want to go to jail. So if he is close enough for me,to,touch on private property not belonging to him.

Hes a dead man.

........

Anyways so i was concerned for him to go thru the gate because I wasn't feeling the kill rage. So i felt like i wasn't ready so i was weary.

And i kept on although everything else was telling me,he wasn't but to my right,

So my left ear started buzzing like crazy and i was all fucking shut up i can't hear..

But duh. I didn't need to listen at the gate.

So god was there talking to me. Telling me he was there and ready to help me as i need.

To help me as i need.

Once i got the understanding then the buzzing quit.

And I knew to focus my ears to my right.

....

I wasn't alone and,had a lot of support and understanding from a legend. She was really awesome in being curious and understanding. It was pretty awesome. She has a clear and strong voice. I bet she will be a guardian angel one day and i know she will be awesome at it. I was starting to wonder if she was dead because she was so good.

She's not but yeah i was like whoa. I could trust her. Its unusual.

Just because she was awesome doesn't mean she's near death, its just an Earth skill.

I trust the dead most because they can go anywhere even under water.

And i felt i could trust her just as much as a spirit sent from Heaven.

.....

I can hear stewart again.

......

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starora · 6 years

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its gonna be 100 episodes is this real? 😰 although i heard "lalalala" song as in "lielielielie" so nevermind~ i took break until ep10 i watched it like in almost one day yesterday minus the eating and etc and sleeping hours but i wasnt concentrating enough so im gonna re-watch some of it again because i thought its going to last til 15 or 16 or 20 because they upload the ep24 video but i read it until 100th oh my god at least everytime i watch kdrama it always reminds me to not take life for granted lol its true! although my previous reason of liking watching kdrama was different, i love it because who knows it could be for someone out there, maybe their dream also can come true, cause i know how it feels like for dreamers cause im or was that person too i was always day-dreaming it was ridiculous 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄 cause you know instead of day dreaming in school at home or anywhere i should study hard but no i always got low marks 😑 i think what changes me to study smart or hard not really hard maybe moderately or no maybe i try to restudy because i wasnt concentrate at school when my teachers explain sometimes i need them to repeat but i cant always ask them but my mother also sent me to tuition school but the way the teachers there teach us were different long story short i still just try to understand it myself and it works sometimes except for science better ask teachers cause thats important. Anyways, because i was still struggling at atudying at that time its so hard anyways probably because inwatched kdrama and it open up my mind even more like to see other peoples living their life differently etc it fascinates me ever since cauae i got bored just stay in brunei not bored its like i want to see other people life so yeah watch peoples life or documentary or eve reality tv shows -not just kuwtk my sisters watched jon and kate+8, gene simmons family jewels, kimora's life in the fab lane, what elese there more reality tv shows even america's next stop model- lol i just followed whatever on tv when theyre watching so thats why plus they re so funny. nowadays my parents watch news on tv so it gets boring they rarely watch bruneian or world news dono why. i also want to try how the people in kdrama live like live in small rent room -just like in new york city also! i knkw about this after i watched how to be single also theres video of people rent and live in nyc in youtube- but not allowed to do that in here. Anywho, now after 2014 i start watching kdrama it starts to feel weird previously i cried and laugh so hard and i can cry/laugh as much as i want to without knowing anything just enjoy the mysterious characters without thinking about anybody else in this world cause i am in my own world! and also, they're very good in acting sometimes i always remembered their face expressions and thata why i followed them sometimes 😊

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2getmeoutofthis · 7 years

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I dooon’t feeel like writinggg

last night i didn’t cry myself to sleep. my mom came and woke me up around noon, i was pretty sleepy and feeling somewhat shitty like hey i just kinda want to go back to bed but she said she’s either gonna talk with me for a while and leave soon or that i should go shopping with her cause my parents decided they want to buy me shoes (my winter shoes just kinda broke)

bleeeh no if i keep writing like this i will never finish and i actually procrastinated with writing this cause i didn’t feel like it and now i feel like if i hadn’t i would’ve went to sleep 2 hrs ago

i didn’t take asertin in the “morning”, cause i kind of wanted to check wether i won’t be nauseous if i stop taking it and also i eventually got up and took a shower and decided to go out with my mom so i figured the last thing i want is to get nauseous in a shopping mall. in hindsight it seems to be an actually really good idea, cause i took the pill in the evening instead and i didn’t feel nauseous, yay! i’ve had a headache for like 5hrs now though and being afraid to take any painkillers is not really helping with that

so the story is..my dad (who doesn’t know that i’m depresssed because he is sick himself and i want to spare him, i mean they already worry about me enough as it is) heard that my argument for not wanting to go to that whole gala was my lack of shoes...i guess that’s the official version my mom gave him, other than the fucking social phobia/anxiety that i have and the fact that i might just have a mini panic attack there and get dizzy, but my mom still doesn’t really understand it herself so...i don’t know. they just got so hyped about it even though to be honest, it’s some journalism awards and i don’t read any news or newspapers except sporadically because the world is just too fucking depressing for me to handle, so honestly i wouldn’t know a single person there, most probably

sigh

but they just got on this mission to send me there with my mom, and my dad was like oh i’ll pay for her shoes, and in my head i’m thinking honestly if you want to spend money on me i’d prefer to have my bills paid :| :| :| i just can’t really think about superficial things like buying new shoes or other shit when i have like 4$ and thinking whether i should buy cat litter, hair conditioner or maybe food? but i think my parents always had this idea that even when you’re poor, you need to give yourself those little presents so you don’t feel that shitty, like however poor they’d be they would always treat themselves to little things, a fancy cheese, whatever. and i always kinda rolled my eyes at it like UH WHY AREN’T YOU MORE WORRIED ABOUT MONEY but i guess i just hate myself and think i don’t deserve anything

still, i ended up getting not one but two pair of shoes and i feel kind of weird/guilty/bad cause obviously it’s embarrassing for my parents to buy me things at my age, and i feel greedy too, granted they were cheap shoes and that’s the only reason my mom went “ok if you can’t decide maybe i’ll just buy you both” but i didn’t exactly oppose cause let’s be honest, if i had money i’d probably be a compulsive buyer : / anyway she buys me the shoes and beforehands i asked whether this has anything to do with me going to that thing tomorrow and she was like no but afterwards started making it sound like i’m actually going and i’m just really fucking confused now cause i feel kind of bought and i know i’m overthinking this and it’s silly but there’s just so many thoughts battling my mind, to be honest i must admit the day with my mom was gradually feeling better for me (even though there’s always an element of me feeling like i don’t deserve shit and i’ll always choose the cheapest shoes etc, i even thought to myself the two pairs that we bought were a perfect representation of how i view myself vs how my mom wants to see me cause one pair is kinda baggy and casual and it’s my choice obv, these shoes will just go with anything and they’re just not really trying. they’re all dark grey, just like my soul lol. the other pair is much nicer (wait why tf did i say that?) and black and with sparkly shit, i actually like sparkly shit but i usually just collect it and then never wear it cause there’s never an occasion good enough to wear such things and in the past couple years i just descended into wearing sweatpants all the fucking time. oops there was a bracket here, oh). so yeah...

at some point of the day i actually started feeling better and kind of took a step back to look at myself and this whole situation and i was like woah maybe i actually don’t need to be that miserable, it’s just tthat it’s hard to drag yourself out of that state and while you’re in it you really don’t see the way out?

so i felt kind of bad about the gala thing but at the same time i also just felt generally better so it didn’t seem as crazy anymore.. i don’t know. i guess my mom’s now counting on me showing up and i didn’t really say no.

minus point in assertiveness i guess and standing my ground, but then it would make my parents happy, so...

we’ll see tomorrow i guess

i felt like there was something else but i don’t remember now

my head is killing me

5 good things

1. i got new shoes... i guess it’s good not to wear sneakers in winter

2. and my phone bill paid (although i had to really embarrasingly ask for it and multiple times cause my mom just didn’t really want to do it but i was like hey i’d really rather have this bill paid than have two pairs of shoes if you’re spending money on me already.... : | )

3. i ate a cinnabon and made my mom eat one too for the first time and i actually paid for it with like half of the money that i had left, lol. cinnabon place is a memory with J. but it somehow didn’t bother me

and my mom wanted to go to n.f. and we actually did and then i was like ‘meh’ and tbh, that’s a place i went to with M. and it did kinda bother me

like uhmmm yeah okay maybe i dont really want to sit here or i might cry : |

(yes i really just don’t talk to anyone which is why when i write a blog i can’t even make a fucking list properly cause i start explaining every single point which i s stupid cause technically im talking to myself and i know all those things already, wha t am i doing?)

4. I didn’t feel nauseous after Asertin. this is good good news

5. i actually felt pretty okayish for at least half of the day which is somewhat new. and so..

i guess , well this is cheesy but again

6. i’m thankful for my mom cause she’s trying to help and i’m seriously lonely as fuck in my life right now and i don’t fucking know what i would’ve done without my parents

okay now i feel like crying so time to abort thinking cause i can’t afford more of a headache

i’m really considering taking ibuprofene but i’m going to sleep anyway so if i can fall sleep with this pain i’ll be fine

night

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