Tumgik
#anyway like. not sure where i'm going with this but i guess i do want to work on that reflexive feeling of superiority
adoringhaikyuu · 3 days
Note
wait omg i love ur stuff, can u mayyybe do one of the “they think you’re pregnant” ones for terushima, iwa, suga and ukai ?? <3
Tumblr media
THEY THINK YOU'RE PREGNANT | 4
Tumblr media
characters: iwaizumi + sugawara + terushima + ukai + (gn!reader)
warnings: none, but all of the boys are -for- having babies in this!!
notes: this is probably the last one of these i'll do + this has literally taken me so long (3 years) to find inspiration for the last 3 scenarios ahh
 part one / part two / part three / part four
Tumblr media
iwaizumi feels like you're hiding something from him. he doesn't know how to explain it, call it his intuition. but he feels like there's something you're not telling him, and for some reason––aka oikawa, he thinks you're pregnant.
"well if you ask me, iwa-chan, it sounds like y/n might be pregnant."
iwaizumi almost choked on air when his best friend uttered those words. was it true? was he really going to be a father? surely you would have told him, right? why wouldn't you? did you think he'd react badly? did you not want to raise a family with him?
oikawa went on, knowing his friend would get too caught up in his thoughts if they stayed in silence.
"took you long enough anyway, i've been waiting to be your kids' favorite uncle." he waved a hand playfully, "and yeah you'll be wonderful parents too, i'm sure."
that made iwaizumi's familiar oikawa-induced scowl return, earning the volleyball player a half-hearted smack on the back of the head.
iwaizumi's gait slows as he walks into your bedroom, noticing you snuggled in the covers, on your phone. when you notice him you quickly smile and greet him, opening your arms for him to give you a hug and he absentmindedly obliges, his body working on it's own through muscle memory. just the sight of you has him feeling tingly and warm.
you can tell he's not fully there when he pulls away, an almost distant look in his eyes that brings a bubble of concern to your stomach. "are you alright?"
you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, tilting his head, his eyes cast down as he sits next to you and wraps his arms around your waist.
his voice is small when he speaks up. "you know you can tell me anything, right?"
you frown, "of course. why?"
you tilt your head to catch his eye and he finally looks up, a hesitant and somewhat fearful look in his gaze. it's not that he was scared that you were pregnant, no. it's that he was worried you wanted to keep it from him.
his hand subconsciously drifted closer to your stomach. "are you pregnant?"
you froze and blinked once, your hand dropping from his face in shock. you don't know what you were expecting but it wasn't that. "wh––no? haji i would have told you if i was. where is this coming from?"
suddenly an embarrassed blush rose to his cheeks as his eyes widened. "uh i don't––" he sighed and let his head drop down, his voice stooping to a mumble. "shittykawa."
you raised a brow, letting out a breath of laughter that brought a smile to his lips. "trust me when i say i would tell you before oikawa if we were having a baby."
iwaizumi nodded, wanting nothing more than to hide his face. so he did, playfully tackling you, the smile on his face widening when you let out a surprised yelp mixed with a laugh as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close.
you quickly melted into him, wrapping yourself around him, tangling your legs together in the bed.
his voice was partly muffled as he spoke up, "guess i'll have to tell crappykawa he won't be an uncle as soon as he thought. poor guy was excited too."
you paused, your hand mindlessly playing with his hair. "...i mean...maybe he could be."
iwaizumi's breath hitched and he raised his head to look at the sheepish smile on your face. "yeah?"
you nodded. "yeah." you shrugged, "i'm ready if you are."
his heart started to beat faster, swelling with love as he leaned in to give you a sweet kiss. "i've been ready, doll."
Tumblr media
sugawara has had an extra pep in his step all day. he woke up earlier than you to use the bathroom and when he slid back under the covers, you spoke up in your sleep, mumbling.
"mm need to tell...koshi...bout the baby."
his eyes widened, heart rate picking up as he stared at you. should he wake you up? should he call daichi? he was too excited he didn't know what to do.
he kissed you on the cheek and turned on his side to watch you with a smile on his face. he started thinking about what life was going to be like with a mini you with cute chubby cheeks.
he ended up not being able to fall back asleep, so he got an early start to his day. when you finally woke up later, he had already pretty much had a full day, prepping to be the best dad and partner during your pregnancy. he stocked up on all your favorite snacks and ingredients for your favorite meals, along with a bouquet with your favorite flowers. he was also wearing your favorite outfit on him, his softest hoodie for you to cuddle into.
he also made your favorite breakfast, you realized as you walked into the kitchen, a loving smile growing on your face. "kou what's all this for?" you immediately walked into his arms, nuzzling into the fabric of his hoodie. you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes.
"just wanted to remind you how special you are to me, and that i'll always take care of you."
"aw baby."
"so uh is there anything you wanna tell me?" he looked at you hopeful, a smile on his face.
you perked up and his smile widened. "oh, thank you baby, really. you're so sweet to me." you squeezed him tighter.
his smile faltered slightly. "anything else?"
you tilted your head. "um, i love you?"
"i love you too babe." he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "nothing uh...nothing else?"
your brows furrowed, an unsure smile on your face. "i don't think so?"
"you know you can tell me anything, right? especially if it's about us?"
"yeah of course i do. but i don't know what you're talking about?"
"the...the baby?"
you blinked. "whose baby?"
he blinked back. "...ours?"
"we don't have a baby...?"
"i thought...i thought we were having one?"
"...why?"
"you said...in your sleep this morning you said you had to tell me about the baby." he smiled, embarrassed. "and now i'm realizing you were probably just mumbling nonsense." he laughed. "sorry babe."
"aw kou," you pouted, both at how cute he is and how thoughful he is to have done all this for you. "you seemed so excited."
he kissed your cheek, smiling "yeah, but i can wait."
you bit your lip. "hm, well maybe...you don't have to wait that long? if you're ready."
he beamed at you, eyes tearing up, heart swelling with love for you. "i've been ready, love."
Tumblr media
terushima was seeing signs everywhere. he had a strong suspicion that you were pregnant, and he always trusted his gut.
you'd been moody, clingy sometimes and then absolutely disturbed by his presence within a split second. and then there's the food––
"yujiii"
he came tentatively into the room, slightly afraid. "yes, my love?"
"i'm really craving the sushi from that one place we tried last time."
"the place all the way across town?"
you started to pout, tears forming in your eyes.
"no no no, hey hey, it's okay! we can just order, yeah?"
smiling, you nodded and beckoned him over for a hug. "thank you baby."
he came into your arms, basically sighing in relief. nuzzling into your neck, he mumbled, "this baby's really putting me through the ringer, but i know it'll all be worth it."
you stiffened and he immediately tensed, holding his breath. he didn't mean to say that out loud.
he tried to keep you close but you managed to pull back and look at him. "baby?"
"well yeah..." he looked down to your stomach and back into your eyes.
your eyes narrowed, your left one starting to twitch. "i'm not pregnant."
slowly, he started to back up, eyes wide. "oh–i just..."
"i'm on my period, dumbass!"
he almost tripped on the rug behind him and ran for the door. "i'm gonna order your food baby okay! forget what i just said!"
Tumblr media
ukai wasn't a superstitious man. but something about his dream last night was making him think you were pregnant. mainly because you were pregnant in the dream.
he walked into the living room and leaned against the wall as naturally as he could, though he felt more awkward than ever for some reason, glancing at you on the couch and looking away again and again. how should he ask this?
"have you ever thought about what it'd be like if we had one of those little shits running around the house?" he cringed internally, probably not like that.
your brows furrowed in confusion, "you mean a dog?"
a flash of irritation crossed his face, moreso at the fact that he phrased his question so poorly. what was he thinking?
"n-no not like a dog. like...a little minion, you know?"
you tilted your head, even more confused. "a minion?"
he sighed, exasperated "yeah, you know. like...like a kid. our kid."
your brows raised in surprise. "oh––well..." you paused for a moment. "i mean, of course i have."
"i think you're pregnant." he facepalmed in his mind.
"...what?" you looked around, not quite knowing what to think.
he simply nodded, convinced.
"are you saying i've gained weight?"
his eyes widened in panic and he crossed the room in two steps, coming to sit next to you on the couch. "no! no, of course not babe."
"well...then why do you think that?"
"i uh..." he scratched the back of his neck, looking around. "i had a dream."
"a dream?"
"yeah." he looked at you, curious. "have you had any dreams recently?"
"not that i remember..." you looked at him weirdly, slightly concerned by your boyfriend's strangeness. "what happened in your dream?"
"you were pregnant."
you blinked at him. "okay..."
he simply looked at you like you should understand where he was coming from.
"and how did dream you react?"
he placed his chin between his thumb and pointer finger, looking up as he tried to recall. a small smile appeared on his face, "well, i was pretty happy, pretty sure i almost had happy tears." he laughed, almost fondly.
you couldn't help but let a little smile slip at your ridiculous boyfriend. "kei, did you ever stop to think maybe your brain's trying to tell you that you want a baby?"
his lips parted in shock as he looked back to you, eyes blank, blinking as his brain recalibrated. "well...huh, maybe you're right babe."
your smile grew, "i'm always right."
he rolled his eyes playfully, a smirk on his face. "yeah, yeah."
Tumblr media
©adoringhaikyuu 2024 please do not repost
353 notes · View notes
ramirezmindset · 1 day
Text
❝ 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 ❞
Tumblr media
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . tyler owens x fem!reader .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° .
→ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: yourself and tyler go way back, further than you'd like to admit, but after a brutal end, it's been years since you've spoken. until one night when your roommate brings him home.
→ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: ANNNNGGSSSSTTTT, talks of fighting and yelling, reader and tyler having history, use of feminine pronouns and description, awkward asl atmosphere, sexual implication, longing, flashbacks will be in italics. ↳ wc: 4671 (not sorry)
→ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: this came to me when i was sat on the couch with MY roommates hahahaahah - requests are open!
↳ ❝ [ i shouldn't have called, cause we shouldn't speak. you do make me hard, but she makes me weak - save all the jokes you're gonna make, while i see how much drink i can take. then be my mistake ] ❞
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
"Y/N, Emmie just texted me, she's found a male at the bar and he's coming back here" Your roommate Caroline slaps a hand over her mouth, biting back a laugh as you shake your head and chuckle. "I knew we should've joined her, but for some reason you refuse to go into that bar!"
"Carol, you know why I don't go there!" You scoff back, a playful smile on your face. You put the teaspoon in the sink and take a sip of the tea you just made, pushing a mug over the kitchen island to where Caroline sits. "I know that he tends to go there a lot and I just- I don't really want to be bumping into him and getting all weird and sad when I'm supposed to be having fun with my best girls"
"Yeah, yeah, Tyler this, Tyler that" You give her a disapproving look. "Ok, I'm sorry, that was rude. But I'm serious, Y/N, it's been four years. We never even met the guy, or even saw a photo! Surely if you were that spent on keeping him locked up in that little brain of yours for your eyes only, it can't have been that serious?"
"Oh, it was serious!" You defend, laughing and holding up your arms in mock offence. Carol wraps the blanket tighter around herself and leads you towards the couch, settling with her cup of tea, urging you to sit in front of her. "It was on and off like a strobe light, but I was crazy about him. And as far as I know, he was crazy about me. We just didn't mesh well. I mean, we had been together since we were fifteen, we grew out of each other, I guess"
"But you still have a photo of him in your wallet?" Your eyes widen at this statement, your face growing pale. "Relax, girl, I went in there to put your Costco card back and I saw a photo of some guy from the back. I assume it was him anyway and not some secret guy you've been hiding from us"
You bury your face in your hands in embarrassment, chuckling lowly to yourself. "That's Tyler alright"
"Y/N/N, will you just get in the truck?" Tyler said, holding his hand out for you to take. "Please?" You could never resist those puppy dog eyes, the one's you fell in love with all those years ago.
You smile at him, taking his hand and letting him lead you down the stairs of the porch towards his beat up old truck. Opening the door for you, he helps you climb in, a smile plastered across both your faces.
"Ty, where are you taking me?" You laugh, shaking your head at him as he just winks and shuts the door behind him, walking round the truck to slide into the drivers side.
"Now what would I gain from ruining the surprise, hm?" He turned the keys in the ignition and sped off down the dirt track of your parent's ranch, but instead of turning off onto the freeway, he heads in a different direction.
Deciding not to question him, you sigh and lean back into the headrest, staring at his side profile as he concentrates on the road. The furrow of his eyebrows, the clench in his jaw when he hits a particularly rocky piece of track, the slight smirk that flicks at the corner of his mouth when a song he likes plays on the radio.
"What are you staring at, pretty lady?" He jokes, glancing over at you and placing a hand on your thigh. "Something got your attention, hm?"
"Just my gorgeous boyfriend" You smile once again, interlocking your fingers with his hand that rests on your leg. "Thinking about how lucky I am to have such a beautiful man that loves me and drives me around and surprises me and buys me flowers and doesn't let me spend a dime."
"Yeah, you are pretty lucky" You both erupt into a fit of laughter as the truck pulls to a stop. He takes his hand off your thigh to take the keys out of the ignition and hops out the truck to open your door. "Here we are"
You look around you, confusion etching your features. "Tyler, this is the woods" He tuts at you.
"I knew you would say that. Just come with me" He takes your hand, leading you into the trees down a makeshift trail that's been made through hikers over the years. "You maybe know about this place, you maybe don't. I'm hoping don't"
You're walking for about 15 minutes before he tells you to close your eyes, grabbing your other hand to help you balance and show you the way. "Tyler, I am going to die out here!" You joke as you stumble over what feels like a branch.
"Relax, oh my Christ!" He laughs back, he pulls you into a stop as you find your feet on somewhat smooth ground. "Ok, keep your eyes closed. No peeking!" He lets go of both your hands and you feel him walk away, the crunch of his feet getting slightly further away before coming to a stop.
You take a deep breath, you arms still held out to the side slightly to keep your balance on the unfamiliar terrain.
"Ok, open" You open your eyes to find yourself on a wide cliffside at the edge of the woods, a picnic blanket sprawled out a few feet away from you where Tyler stood, and a basket full of what looks like all your favourite foods. A bottle of wine and two glasses sit comfortably on the blanket, and the city lights from below you glittered as the sun set below the peaks of the mountains miles away.
"Tyler, this is-" You place a hand on your heart, and you move your eyes to meet his, slowly walking towards where he was standing. "Tyler, this is incredible" You put your arm around his waist, pulling him in closely as you admire the intricacy of the set up. He places a kiss to your temple.
"I thought considering I'm leaving tomorrow for that storm, we could have a nice final date" He smiles, letting you go to sit down on the blanket.
"Nice?!" You exclaim, feigning offence. "Tyler, this is more than nice. This is perfect"
"Only the best for my girl" He winks, reaching for the wine and the corkscrew. "Now are you gonna sit down and enjoy this picnic with me, or are you gonna stand there staring?" He jokes again, fiddling about with the wine.
Before he could pester you again, you reach into your bag for your polaroid camera, an old thing Tyler got you for your seventeenth birthday that travels in your bag with you everywhere. Snapping a photo of him from behind, sat on the picnic blanket, the sun creating a silhouette of his frame, and all you could think in the moment was how beautiful he was, and how beautiful this could be.
"Earth to Y/N!" Caroline snaps her fingers from the couch opposite you. You flick back to reality, shaking your head and sheepishly apologising. "You OK?"
"Yeah!" You reply a little too enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit tired"
"Do you mean tired or Tyler?" Caroline giggles as you half-heartedly fling a throw pillow in her direction. "Sorry, sorry! But seriously girl, it's been this long and he's still on your mind? He must've had you whipped, you haven't even been on a date since!"
"Yes I have!" You defend, placing your tea down on the coffee table and crossing your legs under your blanket.
"Fucking some guy on the gross sinks of the club handicap stall is not a date" She got you there. Suddenly, you hear the front door open, and Emmie's laughter echo around the hallway. "Christ, here she comes" Caroline sits up on the couch and fixes her hair, as if Emmie and her mystery man would come in the room anyway.
You were proven extremely wrong when the door is pushed open and your second roommate strolls in, three beers in hand. She throws one at you and one at Caroline, using her foot to keep the door open.
"I come bearing gifts!" Emmie exclaims, holding her own beer in her hands as you try biting the lid off the beer open. "We're gonna chill in here for a bit with you guys, Tyler's just taking his shoes off"
"Who?!" Caroline exclaims, as you choke on your own breath. "Who is gonna chill in here for a bit?" She looks between the two of you as you scramble on the couch to find the missing beer cap.
Confusion etches across Emmie's face, staring at you as you frantically sit back up, pushing your glasses back up your nose. "Oh shit!" She exclaims, her eyes widening in realisation. "Oh shit!"
"Oh shit what?" that all to familiar voice asks from behind her as he strolls into the living room, making eye contact with Caroline before turning towards you. His eyes grow wide, his hands immediately reaching to take his hat off and hold it to his chest. The hat that you bought him. That stupid, stupid hat that you spent a stupid, stupid amount of money on, but somehow all seemed worth it to see that stupid, stupid smile on his stupid, stupid face.
It seemed like forever that he was staring into you before Caroline broke the silence by clearing her throat. "Um, it's nice to meet you, Tyler. How are you, Tyler? What's going on, Tyler?" She raises her eyebrows at him, as you shoot her a glare.
"Uh- yeah, I'm good, you must be Caroline" He finally tears his eyes away from you to spare an awkward, tight-lipped smile. A familiar gut-wrenching embarrassment fills your body as you look down at your lap as it hits you that your ex-boyfriend is in your apartment, with the intention of fucking your best friend, and you're sat on the couch in your pyjama's drinking tea at 10pm on a Saturday night.
Emmie awkwardly sits on the couch next to Caroline, slipping her shoes off and mouthing a 'Sorry', reaching into her pocket to pull out her phone.
I'm so sorry, she texts you. I had no idea that was the Tyler, I'm gonna ask him to leave, tell him I don't feel well. I'm so sorry
You reply: you don't have to do that, i'm just gonna take myself off to bed
No this is my mess, Emmie's next text reads. I'll sort it all out.
Tyler's still standing awkwardly in the doorway as you launch yourself off of the couch and into the kitchen, pouring your beer down the sink out of pure humiliation. He still wore the same cologne, you could smell the sandalwood on his skin as you pushed past him, his warm flesh brushing against the bare skin of your arm. He still had that same look in his eyes all those years ago when he looked at you, that one of adoration.
You rub your eyes and look out the kitchen window of your apartment at the city lights, the rain pattering slowly against the glass panes as you sigh and lean your back against the counter. It was almost like mother nature was mocking you, laughing in your face as the memories of your last meeting with Tyler flooded your mind.
"Baby, just come back inside, we can talk!" He bellowed from his porch. "It's storming, Y/N, just come inside!"
You continue down his front path as the rain and hail slammed on the pavement. You didn't know what you were doing, your house was a forty-five minute walk from Tyler's place, but you knew you'd regret it if you gave in. Suddenly, his hand grabbed your bicep from behind, twisting you around. He saw your bloodshot eyes and puffy lips and immediately his features softened.
"Darlin', I'm sorry, please just come inside and we can talk it all out" His palm came up to cradle the side of your face, and you had to fight the urge to lean into his warm, tender touch.
"There's nothing to talk about, Tyler" You replied, shaking your head. Another tear rolled down your cheek, unrecognisable as the rain hammered down on your head. "You made your choice, let me make mine"
Tyler's eyebrows furrowed. "My choice? I choose you! I always chose you, I will always choose you!" His hand left your face, falling limp at his side.
"Tell that to Boone" You shook you head. "Tell that to everyone on that stupid fucking tornado chasing team! That's what you'd rather be doing!" He scoffs, wiping a hand down his face. "What? It's true! All I've done for the last decade is support you, I let you go off and do whatever it is you do in that stupid truck, I supported you in college when you didn't have a clue what you were gonna do with your life, I came with you on chases even though I fucking hate thunder, and I hate the danger, I do everything for you! And what do I get?"
"You get to be with me!" He cut you off, you were both yelling now, drawing attention from the neighbours as lights in the houses around you slowly turned on. "Isn't that enough? Am I not enough?"
"Don't you dare turn this on me!" You turn your back on him, wiping your face. You're too far in to let him see you cry. "Tyler, of course you're enough. I'm in love with you, I have been for ten years, but all I do in this relationship is hurt. I don't feel loved, I feel like you're not satisfied until you've got your adrenaline fix on some tornado hundreds of miles away from you. Am I supposed to sit on the porch knitting, waiting for you to show back up? God forbid my boyfriend cares about me and what I want!"
"If that's how you feel, maybe we shouldn't be together!" He exclaims, his hands flying into the air as the rain beats down harder and harder.
"Maybe we shouldn't!" Your shoulders slump as you stare at him, the hurt in his eyes clouding over as any ounce of hope he had in his body to remedy this is blown away by the wind and washed away by the rain. "We're not fifteen anymore, Tyler. I can't keep doing this, I can't keep hoping and praying that you'll come back to me alive. I just can't."
"Hey" Emmie's voice sounds behind you. You turn your head towards the kitchen door, where she's shutting it behind her. "I told Tyler I wasn't feeling well, and if I'm honest, he couldn't get out of here fast enough" She awkwardly chuckles and walks over to you, giving you a hug. "I'm so sorry, Y/N/N, I didn't know that was your Tyler. I would've never have spoken to him, let alone brought him home if I knew-"
"Emmie, relax" You reply, a dry laugh leaving your throat. "It's fine, there's no need to apologise. I was just shocked to see him, that's all. It's okay, I'm okay, I promise."
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
You climb out of the cab, Caroline and Emmie hot on your tail as the three of you link arms and giggle as you stumble towards the bar. The three bottles of wine you had in the refrigerator went down a treat as Emmie and Caroline coaxed you into drinking with them, and you let them convince you going to the bar that Tyler frequented was a fabulous use of your time.
It had been two weeks since your encounter with him, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't all you thought about. The look on his face, the smell of his skin and that goddamned hat that he still refused to part with all these years later.
You'd spent the majority of the past few weeks reminiscing on the relationship, thinking about what everything was and what it could've grown into. Where would you be today? On your own ranch, like your parents, but bigger, and would you finally have gotten that ring, maybe a couple of kids? Even today, when you pictured your future, it was always with him by your side.
The atmosphere in the bar was lively, music blasting out of the jukebox as you had to elbow your way to the bar for a drink. Your eyes take a scan of the room, but he wasn't in sight. A twang of disappointment struck you, as if you would've approached him anyway.
"What can I get you?" The bartender asks, but before you could open your mouth, someone responds for you.
"Black label, on the rocks" Tyler slides up beside you, the slight redness in his eyes indicating he was just as buzzed as you were. "Hey" He rests his elbow on the bar, passing the bartender his card and shooting you a smile.
He looked somewhat the same, his shoulders were broader and his smile no longer reached his eyes, but he was still your Tyler. The mischievous glint in his eye was gone, and he had grown some stubble, even with all the differences he was still just as charming as he was all those years ago.
"Hi" you reply, taking your drink from his hand and throwing it all down.
"Woah, slow down there, cowgirl" He laughed, his old nickname for you making shivers run up your spine. You glanced over your shoulder to find Emmie and Caroline, but they had scuttled off to a dark corner of the bar, no doubt to watch this interaction.
You had never felt more awkward in your life. All of a sudden the top you thought was cute three hours ago is too much for the atmosphere you're in, and your makeup is too perfect to be ruined by the tears that would inevitably fall within the next fifteen minutes.
Tyler nods his head towards the door, taking your hand delicately in his as he led you to the deck of the bar. Sparks shot up your arm and through your body at his gentle touch, his grasp far from firm, as if you were glass that would shatter. You follow him out and perch at an empty table overlooking the street.
"How are you?" He asked, looking at you, as if he could see inside your brain. You stare back, eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm fine" You reply, nervously licking your lips and twiddling your fingers on your lap. This is so fucking awkward.
He gives you a knowing look. "No, you're not" He looks away from you and wipes his face with his hand, something he always did to stop himself from crying. "I know you're not, because I haven't been fine since we broke up. And we're cut from the same cloth, you and me, we've been interlinked since we met"
You were sat on the back porch of your parents ranch. It was a sweltering summers day, sweat licking at your skin as you shifted uncomfortably in the deck chair. Your friend Hannah was over, bringing a bottle of some sort of dark liquor with her as she sat next to you, pouring you both another glass.
"Say, when is your brother gonna be home?" She smirked at you as you playfully swatted her arm. "What!? He's hot!"
"Hannah, behave!" You laughed. "But it should be any minute now" You winked at her, reaching for your glass. Usually you wouldn't condone any of your friends getting with your twin brother, but Hannah had liked him for years and you kind of just wanted her to shut up.
As if on cue, the french doors of the patio slid open and your brother walked onto the porch, grabbing Hannah's glass and downing whatever concoction she had made for herself. She playfully giggled, and the sight made you sick to your stomach, but you laughed along anyway.
"Hello, Hannah" Your brother gave her her glass back before turning to you and grimacing. "Hello....thing...."
"Hello, ugly" you responded, pulling your sunglasses on top of your head and sitting up properly to face him. "Why did you have to come out here and ruin my time with my friend?"
"Um, it's hot, you fucking idiot, and the AC is broken, so Tyler and I are gonna chill out here. I see you have liquor, so we're gonna be enjoying that just as much as you are" He pulled up a chair opposite Hannah, so close to her that their knees touched. You wished he'd swallow his pride and make the first move, because you knew damn well Hannah wouldn't.
"Tyler?" Hannah asked, her eyebrows furrowing. "Who's Tyler?"
"I am" he said from behind you, a shadow was cast over your face as he moved to stand next to you. You looked up, and there he was, the most beautiful man you'd ever seen, and probably would ever see. "And you must be Y/N?" You nodded. "I've heard a lot about you"
"Good things I hope" You joke, a laugh bubbling out your throat as your brother clears his throat. "But if they're coming from my brother, I can't imagine it's anything but slander"
You all erupt into laughter, and that was it. After that day, Tyler never left your side.
You lean back into your chair, avoiding eye contact with Tyler. He wasn't lying, you two were eerily similar, and he'd always been the one person, aside from your brother, who could read you like a book. There was no denying your souls were hand crafted for each other.
"How's your brother?" He asks, a lame attempt at conversation.
"I thought you would know" You turned to look at him. "He married Hannah a few months ago. I was half expecting to see you there"
Tyler shook his head. "Corey hasn't spoken to me since we broke up. I think he's angry I broke his sister's heart"
Your lips form a tight line. "What do you want from me Tyler? Have you dragged me out here away from my friends to make pointless small talk or did you have anything of value to say to me?"
"Is it so wrong to want to talk to you?" He asks again, hurt brushing over his features before he regained composure. You roll your eyes and stand up, making your way back into the bar. Before you could walk in, Caroline runs over and slams the door to the deck shut in front of you, Emmie furiously pointing at Tyler, mouthing "fucking talk to him!"
You sigh in defeat and turn around to see Tyler smiling, shading his eyes from the heat lamp burning down on his skin.
"Guess you have no choice" He joked. "But I can't talk to you knowing your roommates are staring at us"
"Well, what do you propose?" You asked, pulling your jacket tighter around yourself. You were not leaving the bar with him.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
You left the bar with him. You found yourself strolling down the street, buying a case of beer from the gas station and suddenly, twenty minutes later, you were sat on the cliffside Tyler took you to years ago, moderately buzzed from the mixture of beer and hard liquor.
"I still carry your photo in my wallet" You admit, looking at him on the other side of the bench. "The one I took of you here, in this exact spot, when you made us a picnic before you left on a chase"
"I'd be lying if I said I haven't done the same thing" He reached into his pocket and pulled a polaroid out of his own wallet. It was crumpled and faded, but you could still make out your own face in the moonlight, smiling up at the camera, eyes squeezed shut with Tyler's hat adorning your head. You laughed to yourself.
You settled into a comfortable silence, the subtle admission of lost love still hanging in the air, weighing down on you.
"Why?" He asked. You looked back at him. "Why did you keep it?"
"Why did you?" You retaliate, raising an eyebrow at him in suspicion.
"Why do you think?" He sighed and shuffled ever so slightly closer to you. "I remember when you broke up with me you told your brother I was the biggest mistake of your life. He came banging my front door down, probably ready to beat me to a pulp. I would've let him. But as soon as he told me that- as soon as he told me that you said I was a mistake, every bit of anger in me just dissipated. I was in love with you, hell, I am in love with you, and all I could do was question how I managed to fuck up so bad that our decade together felt like a mistake to you."
"You were never a mistake, Tyler" You whisper softly, choosing to ignore the fact he just admitted his love for you all these years later. "I was mad, mad that I let go so easily, and it was easier to blame you than admit that I broke up with you over something so- so mundane"
He had moved closer to you, his thigh pressing against yours on the bench as he leant down to put his empty beer bottle on the floor. He sat back up, putting one arm around you as you rested your head on his shoulder. You fit in the crook of his neck like a missing piece of a puzzle, and a satisfied sigh left your lips.
"Tyler?" You say, he hums in response. "You're in love with me?"
His shoulders tense as he sucks in a sharp breath. Maybe you should've continued to ignore it.
"Of course I am" he replies softly, lifting your head up and cupping your jaw. Finally, you lean into his touch, a smile tugging at your lips. "I have been for fourteen years. I could never love anyone like I love you, you're it for me"
You stare at him, allowing yourself to fall deeply into his gaze. His features had considerably softened since you first saw him in the bar. The glint of hope in his eyes had returned, and the crease in his brow has gone. The slow breeze pushed his hair slightly back, and you had to resist the urge to run your hands through his blonde locks.
He was slowly leaning in, and before you knew it, your eyes were fluttering shut as you felt his lips lightly graze yours. His other hand found the other side of your face, cradling you like you were the most precious jewel. Your hand instinctively goes up to hold his wrist, his skin rough against your palm.
"Can I- can I kiss you?" He whisper's against your mouth. You nod.
His lips finally pressed against yours, gentle and full of years of love. He tasted the same as he always did, the distinct flavour of vanilla from his chapstick he carried around in his back pocket. His lips slotted against yours perfectly as your arms made their way around his neck. For the first time in years, you felt at peace.
Tyler reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. "What do you say?" He whispered. "Be my mistake."
207 notes · View notes
blueishspace · 3 days
Text
Looped Sun 11
Loop #365
Joel: Grian what the hell is wrong with you today!??
Grian: I'm sorry Joel, I just can't right now.
Joel: No way, I'm not letting you leave just like that.
Grian: ... Fine.
Joel: A timeloop?
Grian: Yeah...
Joel: How many times-
Grian: I keep score, this is loop 365... Around 900 years now.
Joel: Guess that makes you an old man then!
Grian: What, I'm not old?
Joel: Did talking about it make it better.
Grian: But you are not going to remember-
Joel: You idiot, this isn't about me.
Grian : ... I guess.
Joel: I ask again, did it?
Grian: ...Yeah.
Loop #367
Grian had to admit that watching himself play games on a screen was weird...he just looked so cube-y. Wasn't even the first time he had gotten to watch his youtuber self but it was just as uncanny as the first time he did.
He even got to see some of the "au's" people made, just to prepare for eventual variant loops that might happen sooner or later of course.
Loop #369
Mumbo: G, mate, do you happen to have ab infinity gauntlet to give away...to me?
Grian: Why do you want an infinity gauntlet?
Mumbo: Well... I ...need the power stone.
Grian: ... Why?
Mumbo: I'm working on a project and redstone isn't going to be enough to power it.
Grian: And you want to use the power stone?
Mumbo: Yeah...?
Grian: ... Sure! It better be cool though.
Loop #372
False: You know G, I never tought about it but why are your eyes purple?
Grian: Oh? That? That is... because of a reason.
False: Huh uh?
Grian: I uh...
False: You?
Grian: I have Alexandria Genesis.
False: Huh?
Grian: ...
Pearl: I can't believe you said that!
Grian: It's not my fault you spent the last loop making Tumblr references.
Pearl: Ok, ok, ok but admit it, It's funny.
Grian: Nope.
X: Grian? False told me you are ill?
Grian: She did?
X: What is an... Alexander genesi?
Grian: It's Alexandria's Genesis.
X: That, how did you get ill? Is there a glitch in the code-
Pearl: It's his fault don't worry, he ate a moonmelon.
X: A what!?!
Pearl: A moonmelon, like a watermelon but blue.
X: How did you- where did you get that.
Grian: I... it was a gift?
X: From who? Was it a prank.
Pearl: It was from our... ... cousin!
Grian: Yep!
X: Cousin?
Grian: Oh you wouldn't...know them. They go to a different server.
Pearl: Yeah...just our dear cousin...Ebony Darkness Dementia Ravenway.
Grian: And then everybody clapped.
Scott: Huh uh. Sure thing.
Pearl: I would have clapped but it would have revealed the bit.
Grian: THANK you. At least someone here has my back.
Loop #375
Scar: Ok, ok, new plan.
Grian: I'm listening.
Scar: What if you betrayed me?
Grian: I can't betray you if you ... know about it? And who would I even betray you for? And why?
Scar: Oh no! Not a real betrayal...a fake one!
Grian: You want me to be a spy then?
Scar: ... Yes.
Grian: Crastle or Dogwarts?
Scar: Oh! I want to see you trick King Ren.
Grian: Hmmm, alright. I'll have to make it convincing. I'll need you to kill me.
Scar: Uh?
Grian: Think about it, you're red, it wouldn't be that surprising right?
Scar: Are you ...sure?
Grian: Yeah, I'll be fine. I do need a realistic reason. Just push me off a cliff.
Grian was doomed to fall by Goodtimeswithscar.
Martyn: Grian? Why are you here?
Grian: I assume you saw the news.
Martyn: Your death you mean?
Grian: What do you think?
Martyn: Just making sure, what about it?
Grian: Scar betrayed me because of red life his bloodlust. I want revenge.
Martyn: Revenge? Oh we'll get you that revenge.
Scar: What if you started spreading false info?
Grian: I'll need to share true info first or they'll catch on Scar.
Scar: Then I'll just make fake traps fir you to reveal! Everyone knows I'm not good at redstone anyway.
Grian: Huh. That could work.
Scar: I'm a genius I know. No need to praise me...
Grian: ...
Scar: ...
Grian: Are you sure you don't want praise?
Scar: ... No.
Grian: My lord, it seems the enemy has rigged the enchanter once more.
Ren: Has he? Martyn?
Martyn: I saw the trap with mine eyes.
Ren: How has he penetrated our private areas in such a way?
Grian almost let out a groan, he should have expected this but still.
Grian: I believe it might have been during our earlier trip.
Ren: Impossible, Skizz was at guard, he would have seen Scar I'm sure.
Grian knew Scar had used one of his loop abilities but maybe...
Grian: Perhaps Scar did not sneak in but was...let in.
Ren: Explain yourself.
Grian: I escaped from Scar's manipulation and joined your side my sire...perhaps one of ours has fell for them instead.
Martyn: Skizz... he definitely could have
Ren: You believe Skizz to be a traitor? Then his loyalty shall be tested.
Grian: Scar?
Scar: Yes?
Grian: Tomorrow Ren is going to give Skizz fake info. I'm going to tell you it so you can follow it.
Scar: Ohhh! You are making it seem like he's a traitor?
Grian: That's the plan.
Ren: Skizz, I didn't want to believe it.
Skizz: I'm not-
Martyn: Silence, you have betrayed the crown. You will pay!
Skizz: I didn't I promise! I don't know how Scar knew, I only-
Impulse: Stay away from him!
Ren: Impulse, you too?
Impulse: I'm not letting you do this!
Ren: Then you too shall perish.
Impulse starter to run dragging a shocked Skizz when.
Impulsesv was shot by Grian
Skizzleman was shot by Grian
Ren: Good job.
Grian: Thank you. Impulse still has a life however, we will see him again.
Grian: Seen Impulse recently?
Scott: Yeah, don't know what the two of you are doing this loop but whatever it is caused Impulse to steal my bit.
Grian: ...?
Scott: Yeah, you know, the grieving husband thing. Impulse is the one doing it now.
Grian: What are you going to do then?
Scott: I don't kno, I still have to figure it out.
Martyn: My lord, they have entered the castle-
Inthelittlewood was slain by Goodtimeswithscar
Ren: Me hand! No! ... Grian, protect your-
Grian: ...
Ren: Grian?
Grian: Long live the king.
Renthedog was slain by Grian
Loop #376
Scott had an... ok loop thus far. It started in Empires and then...nothing happened. And it continued not happening? And it was ok really, peaceful in a way, but it was also unusual and even a bit grating. Lizzie found the phropecy book ...and it didn't go anywhere. Then Xonorth arrived...and then disappeared randomly and didn't come up again. Scott was a bit on edge at this point.
Loop #378
Scott had started to get suspicious after the second loop of strangely nothing happening, especially after Jimmy started becoming distant. At the third loop of it happening again and Jimmy being even more isolated is when Scott finally made up his mind and cornered Jimmy.
Scott: Jimmy.
Jimmy: Uh- Hi Scott-
Scott: Don't "hi Scott" me, where the hell have you been for the last few weeks?
Jimmy: I... had important things to do-
Scott: Like...What?
Jimmy: Uh...
Scott: Jimmy, are you looping in time?
Jimmy: Wh-wha? Where...where did you get that idea? Weird...crazy-
Scott: I am too.
Jimmy: You are?!? Oh I'm not alone! Wait were you here the last time?
Scott: Yep, the one before that too.
Jimmy: How did I not notice?
Scott: I'm used to lying about it, It's hardly your fault.
Jimmy: But... how are you..used to it? This is like the 4th time back...
Scott: I have a lot to tell you.
Prev Next First
38 notes · View notes
lucalicatteart · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….
"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm)#DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate#Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with#The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol#it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and#fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol#I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode#into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says#let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text#so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll#and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh..#bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol#I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated#or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day#Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options#*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj#ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts#in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be#confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else#but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol#explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol#ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME#but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week#I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!
64 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital#to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of#course#when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep#up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not#I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so#I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes#like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought#to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly#call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol#I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something#since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky#just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi#ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos#that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will#just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only#has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly#than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it#anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol#If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free#ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled#. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..
3 notes · View notes
talkorsomething · 3 months
Text
want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
3 notes · View notes
peppermintmochafem · 4 months
Text
.
#Um she told me she's in love with me and if anything happens to know I'm hot and she wants me#And then went into a lot of detail just repeating over and over the things she wants / fantasies about me incoherently#Which I'm sure means nothing right#I know this is complicated for her she hates being attracted to me but it is hard to have her be like this is bad when she says she wants m#I don't know what to do#personal#tbdeleted#Triggering for me yikes#messy messy messy#Honestly think she is just grieving so its latching onto me as a woman she can love in a safe way#And I am glad I can be that I guess like obviously she needs that and I want to keep her safe#But I know I can't and she even said it#Like I know she will go home and then be gone forever#I think I am already grieving her in a way#And she has hurt many people I love dearly#Hurt them in deeply upsetting triggering ways that aren't okay and don't make me feel safe#She really lacks understanding of consent and that hurts people but I know she does want me and i think if I tried to stop her I could#I shouldn't be in situations where I am unsure of that though but at the same time it's like if something happens it happens#Idk how much of this is my own issues and thinking I'm not deserving of safe respectful sex and intimacy and my own guilt for everything#And how much of it is her own issues and guilt and grief#But I know I can be safe and loving for her#And I do know there is genuine love there no matter what other factors there are#Anyways sorry if you read all that I am giving you the biggest forehead kisses#I just think about how different it might have been if I had *** **** *** ** *** *** ****** ** *****#I thought I couldn't cope if I had but how can I cope that I didnt#I should have *** *** *** when I could have#This is unrelated but its all tangled up and it's just been bad trauma day already#If I had **** * ****** **** if I had *** *** if I had **** ***** or#Anyways **** ***** ****** **
3 notes · View notes
boyruggeroii · 4 months
Text
A few hours shouldn't be enough to fuck up the progress of a week and also have weeks long consequences it's not fair
3 notes · View notes
korattata · 4 months
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
dredshirtroberts · 6 months
Text
oh shit y'all.
i've done gotten invested in Gurren Lagann. we're like 19 episodes deep in this paint and i have been emotionally compromised by the silly mechs.
believe in the me.
#that believes in you#i was gonna say pray for me but that makes me actively uncomfortable so don't do that#but i figured the believe in me thing was fitting#gurren lagann#i don't know how deep this rabbit hole will go for me - but i have a drill so let's find out i GUESS#y'all i did not anticipate this being what happened to me in my 30s i thought i'd found all the anime i was going to be emotionally attache#to in my teens and HERE WE ARE I MISSED ONE I GUESS#i'm having a blast don't let my silly complaints fool you i like to be dramatically angry about things that delight me sometimes#the THEMES the MOTIFS the STORY IT'S TELLING#UGH#SO GOOD#i don't want to hear criticism about it because it's BEAUTIFUL and I LOVE IT#we're watching kill la kill when we get done with gurren lagann and i am SO EXCITED about that trigger knows my weaknesses#and it's goofy faces and tiddies while dealing with really deep subject matter in a ridiculous way#also apparently mechs? wasn't anticipating that one at all i am ambivalent about mechs in general#but BOY HOWDY DID I CRY WHEN DAI-GURREN HAD TO EXPLODE ITS SWORD OFF#anyway... where was i#oh yeah so anyway in case you haven't guessed yet this taking over my brain slowly but surely and i'm sure there will be at least one#attempt at fic in the future for me we'll see how it goes#in the meantime...#oh yeah fun fact#i fucking thought gurren lagann the mech was from gundam and so when i started recognizing it i went THAT'S WHERE IT'S FROM?? but in my hea#because i didn't actually watch gundam i was ambivalent about mechs as stated earlier but of the gundams that one was my favorite#AND IT'S NOT EVEN A GUNDAM I FEEL SLIGHTLY LIED TO BUT IN A GOOD WAY SOMEHOW???#anyway we're having a super normal one over here don't mind me
2 notes · View notes
leatherbookmark · 2 years
Text
an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.
like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.
#thinking back to my early c/q/l days where i reblogged this dumb ass meta abt how jgy FOR SURE pushed lxc away because he WANTED HIM#to be tormented by uncertainty forever. like 'the worst person you know just saved your life; what now' kinda thing#i was like oh... THIS IS SO RIGHT... because it felt bittersweet and painful and i am Still guilty of accepting/agreeing with headcanons#or interpretations that aren't 100% what i think because i have this ingrained idea that other people are always more mature and#sophisticated and smarter than me and so they Know Better#the person (i think?) later went on to write a meta abt how jgy is a badwrong narcissist. so#(this is also the reason why i spent months praising and getting excited abt a fic where jgy was dating nmj for like a decade despite#not loving him; and why he cheated on him many times with lxc Just Because. i didn't think jgy would do something like that but everyone#else was like omg this is SOOOOO good so i was like shit i guess it is! IT'S SOOOO GOOD OMG;;;;; have i mentioned i have no brain on#my own? yea)#anyway i'm not gonna paint myself as this genius from the first watch because I Too had wgxn goggles fucking ON and didn't even notice#the box hand touch during my first watch. (have i mentioned i am not very smart or observant) and when wwx was whistling ghosts at jgy#and jgy was clearly Going Thru It in the guanyin temple i was like 'haha good for him'#but iirc i Was nonetheless drawn to him (although xy was first <3) and it was like. well he's evilbad but maybe he felt bad when he murdered#his child? --> well maybe he's not 100% evilbad... maybe... --------------> a-yao did nothing wrong and i will kill you if you even suggest#otherwise. (<-- a joke.)#anyway a whole bunch of antis seem like kindasorta stuck in that initial wgxn-centered; everyone else either has 2 personality traits Max#or is either wgxn allies (good) or wgxn Haters (we hates them forever!) just like. unwilling to accept any new viewpoints At All#and then there are Types of those jgy antis because you have people who hate him for Other Reasons and people who hate them because they.#honestly seem like they've only read moralistic books for young children where the brave kind hero is the one you're supposed to cheer for#and want to be like; and the villain has all the traits you're supposed to know are Bad (mean greedy selfish lazy etc) AND NOTHING ELSE.#its like that *man who only saw boss baby watching another movie* damn this is giving me some serious boss baby vibes ! meme#anyway. love it when the tags are 3x longer than the post. cheers#shrimp thoughts
23 notes · View notes
blujayonthewing · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
The Presto Continues
I think I may have said last time I was at the final iteration BUT!! I lied I already knew I still wanted to tinker with it, lmao. This version is still not QUITE there but we're close, lads, I can taste it. ALSO, I've acquired silly straws, which may be the most important ingredient. Also also, I'm looking forward to making this with enough foresight that I set up a nice place to take a picture and actually use a good camera, because it's very pretty :D
THE CURRENT RECIPE:
2oz dragonberry rum
1oz lemon juice (1/2 a lemon)
6oz sprite
1/2oz uv blue raspberry vodka, infused with butterfly peaflowers
Star fruit, lemon twists, and a silly straw
Edible luster dust (optional)
Shake rum and lemon juice with ice and strain into a hurricane glass. Add sprite and enough fresh ice to almost fill the glass, then top with infused vodka, using the straw to stir carefully-- preferably with an audience to delight and amaze with the mystical magical color change (which you should hype up as much as possible for the duration). Garnish with star fruit and twists of lemon peel that you made way too long because you got a little too excited making them.
The only problem with this one is it's too tart! That actually might hit the spot for some people-- it's perfectly drinkable as-is, but for what I'm conceptually going for it definitely needs to be sweeter. I thought going in that that might be the case, but I'd hoped the soda would be sweet enough to carry the extra citrus-- alas. I'm gonna try just adding an amount(?) of simple syrup next time, and I may also cut back the lemon juice to half an ounce?
Upsides of this edition: it's definitely prettier with the sprite! Not only does the clear, fizzy drink have a nicer overall look than the lemonade, it also ended up being a prettier shade of purple, even with the same amount of the vodka. And like I've been saying, this drink conceptually really did just need to be carbonated. Sprite is also great as an ingredient because multiple single servings can sit on the floor in the pantry almost indefinitely until I happen to need some, unlike fresh real lemonade, haha. Another unexpected upside is that this is now different enough from the accidental variant I made that one time that they now feel like legitimate variations on the same theme, instead of just 'one of them is the lazy 2 am not wanting to use a shaker version' lol
16 notes · View notes
wild-at-mind · 8 months
Text
Just remembering when I was waiting for bf to get his tatt done and looking at the magazines, they had one of those extreme body mods magazines which was interesting. I have never understood why people get this kind of body mod, but I'm trying to work on being more open minded. And from this magazine I can see clearly that the ethos is 'my body is mine and I should be allowed to choose to do these things to it', which resonates. And as a trans person I would hope I wouldn't forget that transphobes call transition 'irrepairable damage' and self harm. (I can remember watching those early 2000s documentaries where surgery for transition was basically framed as an extreme body mod to be looked at for shock value.)
So I'm looking at this magazine, all open minded like, and then suddenly one of the models (who was being interviewed for something else, like he had his dick split in two or something) just casually is like oh yeah I have tonnes of different types of swastika tattooed on my arm. And sure enough, then there's a pic of like...20 swastikas done in different ways all on one area of his arm.
:[
#....i don't even know what i'm trying to say really#i think maybe just that scenes where being extreme is celebrated tend to go in bad ways very quickly#to be clear this was like a back issue. I think it was from the mid-late 2000s. Things were 'edgier' then.#i can imagine perhaps in the circles this guy was in the swastikas were probably celebrated as being oh so daring and taboo!#i hope that extreme body mod circles (which cannot be that large let's face it) are not like this any more but who knows#i just think it is much harder to know what lines to cross and which not to cross if you are celebrating line crossing#see also: when it turned out marilyn manson actually was abusing women#like 'i'm so shocking and edgy!!!' 'I'm shockingly and edgily abusing people!' they go together so well#i'm being facetious in my wording but i find this really hard to articulate.....i found the marilyn manson revelations very upsetting#to be clear i always hated him as an artist but like everyone i assumed it ws just a costume he put on#even more noodling: i was thinking about extreme kink (edgeplay i guess they call it?) and tbh i don't understand that either#but while i don't want to judge or kinkshame i do wonder if places where extremes are celebrated can ever be SSS#the risks skyrocket of harming your partner in ways they later hugely regret#also are they even following SSS? I saw someone who had been accused of causing harm to their partners during edgeplay being like#'i will take steps to learn how to do kink' um.....you didn't already know????????????#surely if you're engaging in the most extreme stuff you should know THE MOST and not apparently the least?????#uggggggggghhhhh anyway fuck 'edginess' and fuck extreme and fuck sexscalation
2 notes · View notes
loumauve · 2 years
Text
.
#sometimes I wish there was like a guide or sth to dealing with intimacy when you're ace#not just in relationships but also in relationships#bc sometimes I think back to conversations I've had with non-ace folks in the past#and usually they would come down to sth like 'when you know you know'#or 'there's gonna be this look and you'll know it's the right moment'#which all seems fake af and untrue and entirely un-applicable if you've agreed to sth else#like.. if you've agreed to not worry abt that and that you'll pick up the topic if anything ever changes#but how do you know if things have changed. how do you know what you want vs what you're wanting only in the moment#and how do you not make it awkward if you bring it up only to later realise maybe you were just having a weird moment#(like. I go through phases every month and I know it's coming. but I also know it'll go away again eventually)#(and like.. I guess I'm still terrified of setting expectations for things I can later not fulfill)#(and sure that's prob due to fucked up shit that happened in past relationships and this is not the same)#((..the difference a partner you can trust to keep their word on respecting your boundaries can make...))#anyway. scared shitless of starting sth I can't finish. also unsure if I want to start anything in the first place#and just so tired of not knowing where to even fucking start. gonna blame my migraine weirdness for posting this in the first place#a day in the life of..#(((how to know if maybe you'd like something now when you haven't in the past but now all parameters are different..#..and maybe it would be nice but maybe it would still suck and you'd end up hating it and feeling regretful..#..and maybe you'll never be able to get out of your head enough to just have a moment and go with it and be happy)))
4 notes · View notes
somelazyassartist · 2 years
Text
My friend introduced me to an AJJ song and it made me wanna draw these four again,,,
Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes
aeide-thea · 2 years
Text
i get a little on my high horse sometimes abt the way in which cishet+ culture will sometimes (usually implicitly) link, hm how to put this, gender hypersaturation with attractiveness—like, dialing up the level of eg Manliness gets framed as inherently also dialing up someone's level of sexiness
this has always seemed totally nuts to me, as someone frequently attracted to very effeminate men+ and very androgynous women+
but i definitely do kind of frame my own self-criticism in terms of like. 'failing at masculine model of attractiveness, failing at feminine model of attractiveness, guess i gotta just go sit by myself in my miserable little mudpit'
which is like. literally what even, self. like. is 'thumbing my nose at all binary standards' not. the nominal objective actually. and yet!!
#anyway like. not sure where i'm going with this but i guess i do want to work on that reflexive feeling of superiority#like. it's difficult to get positive gender affirmation from society at large as any flavor of trans#but there's definitely a particular flavor of difficulty that comes with nonbinary identification#like‚ 'i can't expect you to read my mind so probably just hoping you don't actively gender me in any direction is the best i can hope for'#like sometimes ppl on here will use pronouns for me that feel nice and i like that. special shoutout 2 box on that front.#but anyway basically either i get coercively gendered a binary gender (mostly but not always F)#or i get clear feedback that i'm Failing (to be categorizable which yes is the goal but. emotional experience of Failing still not good)#and just—idk where i'm going with this but i guess i think like. there IS this real desire to be like. a pleasing example of one's genre#and i still kind of think it's weird to conflate what's essentially gender eu-/dysphoria with attractiveness to *others*#but also i think those things ARE weirdly tangled up for a lot of us for whatever reason?? want 2 think abt that more#but want 2 be like. less superior abt it while i'm thinking abt it#bc i just think it's. easy to get reverse snooty when yr not getting any affirmation yrself (is i think where i was trying to go w/ this)#and like. fully understandable but like. how is this feeling i have any different from a cis person wanting the same affirmation#anyway i'm tired and not probably articulating myself that clearly but like. 'more thinking less sneering' good general bywords really#feelingsblogging#the psyche#what is gender we just don't know
16 notes · View notes