#anyway please tell me you get the joke im begging

[prettyblondguys]

How do you respond to the allegations that you once stepped on a worm when you were 10? Will you publicly apologize to the worms of america? How do you think this will affect your sponsorship deal with Olive Garden?

Why would you say this im literally gonna cry WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so sorry worms I love y'all so much

Fun fact when I was little we had a worm bucket. Which was just a huge ass bucket pushed into the ground kinda and filled with dirt and stuff and worms. It was for bait for fishing but me n my brother loved sitting there watching the worms and holding them in our hands that I'm pretty sure we ended up not letting our dad use it sjdjsjs. So it was just. A worm habitat lol

[propertyofwicked]

YOU OWE ME - LN

warnings: none, just fluff (inspired by that one CL stream). this is so short pls forgive me

(also, anyone else seen the pics of lando in aus? FERAL for that man.)

“tier 1 sub - max can you tell lando to get off his computer and let me in the flat please im freezing” max reads out, bursting into laughter, “youre in trouble mate.”

max hears a travelling shout of swearing, getting quieter as lando’s headset is thrown to the desk and his entire body hurtling towards the front door.

“shit shit shit shit,” lando shouts, his fingers struggling with the keys left on the inside of the door. finally he manages to unlock the door and pull it open to see his girlfriend, rosy cheeked and a less than impressed expression.

“lando, how many times have i said to take the keys out of the door if you lock it and im not home - especially if youre not going to answer your phone.”

“im sorry baby, im sorry i know - i forgot,” he mumbles, his hands taking yours and bringing them to his face. he flinches slightly at the sheer coldness of your fingers, “do you want a drink? hot chocolate? tea? coffee? it’ll warm you up”

“i’d love a cup of tea,” you smile sadly, shrugging your horribly thin jacket off. honestly, with the typical english winter, your jacket was almost useless in combatting the cold winds anyways. you move to follow lando into the kitchen, watching him fill the kettle and move to grab a mug from the cupboard.

“come here,” you say, opening your arms slightly for lando to move into. he moves to you instantly.

“you’re not angry at me?”

“no, i am. youre just warm” you say, looking up to smile at him. his hands fall to your waist, gripping your hips and hoisting you up to sit on the counter, but he doesn’t move back into your embrace. instead, his arms move to take his hoodie off himself, and pull it over your head.

“better?”

“slightly,” you're still smiling at him as you adjust the hoodie - lando can tell you're not angry at him, just slightly irritated.

“the heating’s on, my office is warm - you wanna go sit in there whilst i finish your tea, angel?” he asks, his hand stroking your cheek, “max is on call if you wanna talk to him for a bit? he’s streaming but you already know that,” he grins, his tongue sticking into the side of his cheek.

“i think max’s chat deserve to know how bad of a boyfriend you are,” you joke, hoisting yourself off the counter, ready to march on in and complain to the stream. lando’s hand catches your arm, spinning you back into his chest. his hand comes back to your cheek, and tilts your head back.

“im sorry baby, you know i am,” he frowns slightly - you reassure him that he is forgiven by pressing a small kiss to his lips. once again you go to move, but he pulls you back in, kissing you again - repeatedly pecking kisses all over your face and eventually your lips. his tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging for more. you pull your head back slightly, desperate to go and rat him out to max but his teeth nip down on your bottom lip again to prolong the connection.

“i don’t think so, lan,” you giggle, smiling up at him again. lando groans and swears you almost skip your way to his office, excited to tell max as he prepares for a night of grovelling.

“max. you’ll never believe this man,” you sigh, after popping lando’s headset on your own head.

“y/n! how are you?”

“freezing, max. and £10 poorer now i’ve had to sub to your twitch to be let into my own flat.”

“oh yeah, thanks for the sub,” max laughs out, looking at the chat, “it’s ok, chat reckon you should invoice lando for the inconvenience.”

“i think i might have to you know, although he’s making me a cup of tea right now and i might be able to pout my way into a takeaway tonight.”

“y/n that man is so whipped i don’t think you need to pout your way into him doing anything for you,” he responds, his emphasis on anything making you grin slightly.

minutes later, lando comes into the room, using his foot to kick the door open in front of him, his hands full with your mug and your lip balm. hang on, lip balm?

“here you go baby,” he says, placing the mug down on the coaster on his desk, “i put honey in it for your throat, and i brought your lip balm ‘cos your lips are dry,” he grins as he hands you the lip balm.

“my lips wouldn’t be dry if you’d answered the phone the first time i rang you,” you say, the eye roll evident in your voice, even to max who couldn’t see your face.

“hang on, y/n, how does he know your lips are dry?” max interrupts, his laugh travelling through the headset.

“because max, when two people love each other very muc-”

“ew stop it,” lando interjects, as he sets up a second set of headphones to join in the chat.

“he’s trying to regain my love with physical affection.”

“i can tell from your tone that it’s not working.”

“well, after that ‘ew’ i think i may have to revoke all physical affection.”

“you wouldn’t,” lando gasps, his hands dramatically clutching his chest.

“order dominoes and ill reconsider. you owe me.”

“yeah lando, and send her £10 to cover the cost of the twitch sub,” max shouts, siding with you, “chat also think you should, as a courtesy.”

you don’t say anything, but turn to look at him, puppy dog eyes and a pout to complete the look.

“fine! fine,” he laughs again, holding his hands up in surrender, “i was going to offer anyways.”

“sure you were,” you and max manage to say simultaneously.

-

an hour later, your food had arrived and your saying goodbye to max and his chat, as lando goes to the door. however, by the time you shuffle into the living room, lando has began setting up netflix, sat next to a mound of blankets he’d brought in from your bedroom.

“hey you, come ‘ere,” he says, leaning his back against the arm of the sofa and tapping the space between his legs. once you were settled, your back resting on his chest, he leans to grab the pizza box on the coffee table in front of you - it went down quickly.

“funny how hungry you get when you’re left shivering in the freezing cold for hours," you think out loud.

“it wasn’t hours and i didn’t do it on purpose y/n,” lando whines, scoffing slightly at the time embellishment, absentmindedly playing with your fingers as he did.

“i know baby, i’m sorry. you’re forgiven,” you start to feel bad for him. he presses a kiss to the top of your head, before manoeuvring you both further down the sofa until he’s laying completely flat, and you roll over so that your head can lay on his chest. the two of you lay in silence for a few moments, the tv still playing quietly in the background, and you feel his chest moving with every breath.

lando's hands wander underneath his your hoodie, and begin to trace small shapes on your skin, making you shiver slightly. then, a thought hits you.

“someone needs to make a compilation of F1 drivers accidentally locking their girlfriends out because they’re streaming,” he laughs as you say it, your whole body shaking from the shuddering of his laughing, "it seems to happen more than you'd think."

“hey! i wasn’t streaming - max was, i was just there. AND! i paid you back, charles never paid his girlfriend back for the sub.”

“oh, aren’t you generous.”

[joekeeryswife]

arranged marriage 1 - f.c

hey honeys! i hope you enjoyed my last imagine. writing for Felix legit has me in a chokehold. dickhead!felix (im sorry!) mean reader at the start then she turns sweet, i also suck at endings so please ignore how bad it is and the spelling mistakes lol.

anyways, here’s another angst to fluff imagine, Felix is 22 and reader is 20! enjoy reading 🩰

taglist🩰 (add yourselves here): @hummusxx @lalademie @kikiandbella @anamiad00msday @saltburntt @livvy256 @gee72sstuff please make sure your @ are on otherwise i cannot tag you!!

“mum seriously? Felix? as in the only person i absolutely hate with a passion Felix?” your mum rolled her eyes at your outburst. it wasn’t a shock to her that you were mad, you and Felix had grown up together but for some reason the two of you never got along. your parents had grown up together and had obviously been planning this for some time.

“i’m sorry sweetheart but yes, it will be good for the two of you to finally get along, he is a really sweet boy you know” you huffed “we could get along without getting married? i mean, i’m only 20 years old. i have my whole life ahead of me to get married” you ran a hand through your hair.

“why do i not get a say in this? shouldn’t i be able to say yes or no to this?” you were frustrated, you hated Felix. and no marriage certificate was ever going to change that. “stop being silly y/n. Elspeth is so excited to have you as a daughter in law, she loves you” your mum tried to end it there but you were not giving up.

“dad please tell her she is being irrational, there is no way you have agreed to this as well” you looked over at your dad “i’m sorry honey but i have agreed and so has the Catton family. you have no idea how good this would be for us, you will be bringing two very strong bloodlines together” you wanted to scream.

marrying Felix was the worst possible thing to probably ever happen in your life. Felix was an asshole to you, rude, snobby and ignorant. he thought he was this incredible man but in reality he was just a bastard, and you would be marrying him? you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you.

“i’m sure the two of you will get along just fine, you’re being a little dramatic honey. you’re going to have a beautiful dress, a beautiful ceremony, it’ll be amazing. and Felix is a very a handsome boy and you are a gorgeous girl, your kids will be absolutely perfect” you choked on your saliva

“kids? mum are you joking? i’m begging you, please don’t force me to marry him, my life will be a misery” your mum shook her head. “enough. this is final. you will marry Felix, end of story” your dad said making you and your mum look at him. you did not ever think that you would be in an arranged marriage with Felix Catton.

“now, get ready darling, we are going to saltburn to celebrate” this was going to be hell.

-♡-

“Felix darling, will you come here for a moment please?” Felix heard his mother call out as he walked past the living room. he saw his mum and dad sat on the sofa next to each other with huge smiles on their faces. he walked into the living room and sat on the sofa opposite the two of them “should i be worried?” he said jokingly, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

“no of course not” his mum laughed. “we have some news for you which you may not like the sound of at first, but, i think the idea will grow on you” his dad said, excitement filling his voice.

“we have been speaking to y/n’s parents” Felix rolled his eyes at the mention of your name. “and we have all collectively decided that it’s time for the two of you to finally know that you will be getting married” Elspeth squealed in excitement.

his jaw dropped “isn’t that amazing? oh god it’s so nice for the secret to finally be out” his father seemed just as ecstatic as his mother.

“you are joking right?” his mothers smile faltered “no, it’s not, you two are getting married. oh i am so thrilled Felix, we have been planning this for ages and now that you both know i think it’s really set it in stone.” he shook his head at her.

“no, absolutely not. i’m sorry but there is no way in hell that i am marrying y/n” he shook his head and laughed. “this is bullshit, we fucking hate each other, why the fuck would you two even think that is a good idea?” he felt sick. “Felix, don’t use that type of language please” Elspeth said.

“mum, she’s a bitch. you really think i want to marry her?” James shook his head “she is a lovely girl. it’ll be good for us Felix. and it will be nice for you two to get along” Felix scoffed at his father. “you guys can plan this as much as you want, but i am not marrying that girl. i am 22 years old and i am old enough to make my own decisions, no is no”

“you will be, sorry Felix but it’s already started to be planned. the two of you will be getting married so you best start to try and get along. you guys will be moving into a lovely house after your honeymoon, you two will be fine” Elspeth said, her voice stern.

“now, since you know the news, go get ready. we are having a huge party to celebrate your engagement” he scoffed and walked away from his parents. this was going to be a long night.

-♡-

your mother had already picked out your engagement party dress and to be honest she did a good job of picking it. the dress wasn’t too over the top which you were grateful for. this whole idea of getting married to someone you hated was a lot of getting used too. you didn’t even have a ring yet which you knew would make it feel more real.

when you envisioned yourself your life you didn’t expect to get married for a few more years, and you would be getting married to someone you actually loved. you never thought your parents would force you to get married to anyone, let alone Felix. “are you excited for the party?” your mum said pulling you out of your thoughts.

you gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded “look, i know it’s not what you wanted but we wouldn’t do it if we didn’t think it would work out. you and Felix will love each other in no time. i think when you two spend time together you will start to really like him” she grabbed ahold of your hand.

you were honestly willing to try the marriage thing for the sake of your parents, Felix was nice to everyone but you and you wanted to find out why. “oh, we invited practically everyone we know so be prepared to show fake smiles” she added as you stopped outside of Saltburn. knowing that you had to be lovey dovey with Felix made you anxious, it’s not like it was going to be easy when the two of you despised each other.

“right, let’s get this over with” you said as you exited the car, your mum scoffed “don’t speak like that y/n, you will enjoy yourself” she said as she linked her arm with your fathers. you followed behind the two of them and looked around the front garden of Saltburn, it had been covered in all different types of gold decorations.

Duncan the butler was waiting for you all at the front of the house, even though it was a party his face was still nonchalant. “theyre all waiting for you in the back garden, guests have already began to arrive.” your mother and father thanked him and made their way inside “not even going to break a smile for me, this is a party after all” you joked “enjoy the party y/n” he said making you laugh and brush past him. there was no breaking Duncan.

you made your way to the back garden which was just like the front, covered in gold decorations with guests slowly filling every section dressed in their party attire. you spotted Elspeth, James and Felix with your parents and you knew you would have to go over there. you put on your best brave faces d made your way over there.

Felix looked miserable as he stood next to his mother his eyes fixated on the grass. he hated the thought of you, he hated the thought of the two of you getting married even more. “aww there is the beautiful bride to be” he heard his mother say which made him look up from the ground.

now, even though you and Felix hated each other, there was no way he’d lie and say you weren’t beautiful because you were. you were one of the most beautiful people he had ever met. but that didn’t change the fact that he thought you were the most annoying person he’d ever met.

“gosh you look gorgeous” Elspeth said as you finally stood next to your parents. she pulled you into a hug and kissed your cheek. “now that you are here we can talk to you both. we know that the two of you don’t get along but we are very happy that you are going along with the arrangement. we promise you both that it will be all worth it in the end” James spoke quietly but loud enough for you all to hear. they obviously didn’t want people knowing that it was an arranged marriage.

“we will see about that dad, this is the worst day of my life” Felix said shaking his head. hearing him say that hurt you a little bit and you didn’t know why. you didn’t show the hurt on your face and you were quick with a comeback “likewise, i’d rather drown in bleach then have to marry you but here we are”

“why don’t the two of you go talk to one another about it? it might be good for you two to have an actual conversation instead of arguing all the time. go to the library, there isn’t anybody in there” Elspeth said looking between the two of you. “oh and if you see any guests and they congratulate you, please act like the two of you love each other” she added as the two of you started, asking your way to the library.

the walk to the library was silent until one of the Henry’s and his wife stopped the two of you “there is the happy couple. we have been waiting for the two of you to get together since you were young. you look gorgeous together” Henry’s wife said. your sour expression was quickly forgotten and you tried your best to show you were happy by putting the fake smile on your face.

you felt Felix’s arm go around your waist. “thank you, it didn’t take too much convincing” you said as convincing as possible. “let me see your ring dear, it must be beautiful” your eyes widened, you did not think about that at all. “it’s at the jewellers, i accidentally got the wrong size so we need to get her a temporary ring until her real one comes back” Felix was quick with his answer.

“how did you propose Felix? was it romantic?” you both nodded “very, we were on a couples holiday. we went for dinner and then we went for a walk along the beach and i just got down on one knee when i felt like the time was right” how was he so quick with these answers?

“wow, that is truly romantic. anyways, we don’t want to keep you guys for any longer. congratulations you two” with that the two of them walked toward the garden. “how the fuck did you come up with that so quickly?” you said as you both also continued walking. “dunno, i just made it up” his voice was flat and his arm dropped from your waist.

the two of you reached the library and Felix closed the door behind him. you sat on the sofa and he sat next to you awkwardly “so, how are you feeling about this situation then?” you spoke trying to stop the awkwardness. “how do you think? i’m being forced to marry a girl who i despise” he scratched the back of his neck.

“well, i’m not ecstatic about it either but, we have to do it. we just need to try and be nice to one another and i think it could work out. it’s gonna be awkward but-” he cut you off quickly “do you really think i’m gonna try work this out? with you? you must be out of your mind” he started, you didn’t like where this was going at all.

“you are the most annoying person i’ve ever met, you do realise this marriage is just to make our parents look good? there is no way i will try work this out with you. i will never like you, i will never love you. you’re just going to be a person i’m being forced to live with” you looked at him “you are unlovable. no one will ever fall in love with you, you are that frustrating. your parents probably agreed to this marriage because they know no one else will fall in love with you” his tone was harsh. hearing him say that broke you.

you could feel your eyes filling with tears which you tried to conceal as best you could but it was no use. even though you hated him his words cut deep. “that’s a really fucked up thing to say” you shook your head and got up to walk away, slamming the library door as you walked to the nearest bathroom. you could feel your chin quiver as you sniffled, trying your best to keep your tears at bay.

Felix knew that was a low blow, and he regretted his choice of words as soon as they left his mouth. he was left in the huge library, the deafening silence making him feel even worse for how he spoke to you. the two of you always threw insults at each other but nothing like that, ever.

he could tell that you were trying to make the best out of a shitty situation and he had to ruin it by overstepping the mark. he knew that he was going to have to apologise to you because he did, that time, take it too far. he spotted Theo, another butler stood at the end of the hallway. “did you see where she went?” he asked him as he shoved one of his hands in his pocket.

“she walked into the bathroom down that way sir” Theo pointed in the direction you had gone, he nodded “thanks” he started making his way to the bathroom and once he was outside the door he could hear your quiet sobs. he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t think the person he was about to comfort would be you let alone for something he said.

he knocked on the door gently, he heard your sobs stop. “who is it?” you called out, trying your best to hide the waver in your voice. “can i come in?” he questioned. he was stood outside the door for a couple of minutes before he heard you unlock the door. he walked into the bathroom and saw you sat on the floor next to the door.

he cautiously sat down next to you, not knowing how you were going to react. “look, i’m sorry for what i said. that took it too far and i am truly sorry. i’m just stressed about the situation and i took it out on you and i shouldn’t have done that” you just nodded and looked down at your lap.

he sighed, he knew that both of you would have to figure out a plan. the two of you were getting married which seemed scary to both of you and if you went through with it with out a plan it would just crumble. he spoke “so” you looked up from your lap to look at him “we need a plan” you nodded again. “how do you wanna do this?”

[ilwonuu]

Can you write jealous/possessive jaehyun smut? not in a toxic way but a cute way if anything. 🫶🏼

YES OF COURSE!!!<3 thank u for the request. i am the biggest jaehyun girlie like he is one my favorite idols!!! also he is so fine i need him biblically 🥱

𒀭 ˖ ࣪ only yours. j.jaehyun

summary- you plan to go out on a friday with your friends planning to have the most fun ever. jaehyun has a better idea.

warnings- unprotected sex, slight jealousy, sweet jaehyun(pls save me jaehyun pls), soft sex, fingering, kissing, pet names(baby fem receiving, he gets called jae once), sweet love(ew)

authors note- i’m so happy someone requested a jaehyun fic because i literally was gonna write one anyways<3

you have started to get ready for your night out. you pick out your favorite black dress knowing it makes your body look great. “you look so pretty but you’re really gonna wear that out without me?” he says playfully but you know he isn’t joking deep down.

“jaehyun you knew i was going out with my friends tonight come on.” you look away from him finishing your final touches on your appearance. “i know i did but you just look so beautiful im nervous someone is gonna try to hit on you.” he slowly makes his way behind you wrapping his hands around your waist. “jaehyun no one is gonna hit on me. and if they do it doesn’t matter because im coming home every night to you.” you smile slightly as you turn around to face him. “i know i know im not trying to be crazy you know how i am. you’re too pretty i don’t want anyone else to see my pretty girl. you are just so beautiful.” he smiles pulling you into a deep kiss.

melting into the kiss for a quick second before pulling away. “jaehyun! you’re kisses are gonna mess up my makeup.” he just smiles again kissing your neck this time.

“you know.. you could stay home with me..” he nips at your neck making you shudder at his warm breath. “j-jaehyun you know i have plans i can’t just cancel.” he doesn’t stop kissing and biting your neck gently moving his hand to rub your thigh. “i mean you definitely can cancel and i really don’t want you to go.” he smiles at you. “jaehyun you keep asking me to cancel tho. they’re gonna think something is wrong.” he shakes his head. “just tell them im sick or something.” you roll your eyes pushing him back slowly. “you seriously don’t want me to go that bad? baby it will be okay.” you look at yourself in the mirror. “please? i just don’t want you to be looking so beautiful without me. i swear if you really want to go i will still be happy to drop you off.” he is practically begging you.

“fine. but next time i am not canceling and i mean that okay!” he smiles pulling you back to him to kiss you roughly. “mm i want to take this dress off you..” he pulls one of your straps off your shoulder. kissing from your shoulder up to your neck. “j-jaehyun..”

“huh? whats wrong?” he says pulling the other strap off before pushing the dress down your body. “t-touch me please.” you say with a desperate tone. “of course baby.” he moves his hand to between your legs rubbing your thigh slightly. “lets lay you down hm?” he says walking you back into the bed laying you down gently.

“you look so beautiful..” he says moving in between your legs slightly rubbing your clothed clit. “jaehyun please.” he laughs. “okay okay tell me what you want baby.”

“i want you to fuck me. please.” he nods. “let me prep you first okay?” he pulls your panties down your legs. “look at you. i can’t believe you were gonna go out this wet and this fucking beautiful.”

he rubs a finger over your folds before slowly pushing it in. “fuck you’re so wet.” he doesn’t take his eyes off your expression as he fucks his finger into you. “i need m-more jaehyun please.” he nods quickly fucking another finger into you. “like this?” he says with a sweet kiss against your head. “jaehyun please just fuck me i can take it..” he fucks his fingers into you a couple more times before pulling them out and immediately pulling his dick out of his pants. “tell me if it hurts okay?” you nod watching him line up his dick with your entrance slowly pushing in the tip. “you okay?” he looks at your face to see any signs of discomfort. “i’m fine just keep going..” you say pulling his face down to kiss him. he pushes his dick further inside you bottoming out.

“you feel- shit feel so tight.” he smiles at before thrusting into you shallowly. “s-shit you-fuck i can’t even think y/n.” he groans deeply as he continues to give slow thrusts. “harder jaehyun..” you say pushing your hips into him trying to meet his thrusts.

he does not need to be told twice as he fucks you at a deeper angle. “fuck! jaehyun please don’t stop.” he drills his hips deep into you. “i w-won’t baby don’t worry.” he moves some hair of your face.

he is fucking you the deepest he has ever fucked you. you can feel ever bit of his cock. you are drunk on the feeling of his dick getting lost in it. “feel good baby?” he asks. all you can give him is a moan as an answer.

“baby you are doing so well. gonna let me cum inside your pretty pussy?” he pulls you into a rough kiss making out with you as his dick twitches inside you. he pulls out slightly not wanting to cum before you. “fuck i cant believe i didn’t notice your bra was on. let me take that off for you.” he unclips your bra quickly going back to fucking you.

he doesn’t even give you enough time to think before you are creaming all over his dick. he just watches the mess that oozes out of you. his mouth open as you feel him cum deep inside you. “f-fuck baby.” he whimpers your name quietly before pulling out of you slowly. “shit baby im so sorry i came inside without asking.”

you shake your head. “it’s okay jae. i wanted you to..” you smile kissing his cheek. “fuck you’re gonna make me hard again.” you roll your eyes laughing at him.

“lets clean up and cuddle please?” you ask receiving a nod and a bunch of kisses around your face. “anything you want.”

[anonymouscheeses]

Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)

Look at her! "Teehee"

Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯

STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)

*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏

KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR

DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN

Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.

I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭

More foreshadowing!

AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!

Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable

If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH

Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??

Hot-

That's it.

SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-

YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.

But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP

THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever

Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh

Haha penis 🫵

SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.

Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying

Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.

Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)

I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)

VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA

Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.

ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭

Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?

Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).

Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨

Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)

OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.

Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.

HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D

Imagine this. No- shit. Just-

JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.

*SWEATS*

Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool

I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅

Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨

Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.

Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.

Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?

I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-

[cryptidghostgirl]

CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR

I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢

ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)

OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]

A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3

Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)

Paring: Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)

Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Alastor Master List

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.

It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.

Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.

It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.

Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.

And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.

Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.

Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.

"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."

She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.

"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."

Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.

Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.

Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.

It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.

Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.

Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.

The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.

Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.

Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.

When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.

Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.

He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.

It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.

Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.

As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.

"Why isn't it working!"

Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.

"Why do I have to be..."

There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Why can't I just be skinny."

Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.

"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."

Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.

"Yeah?"

Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"May I come in?"

Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.

"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.

It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.

Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.

"No. It's not."

She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.

"I don't... what's wrong?"

"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

Y/n's eyes went wide.

"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,

He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"

Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.

"I-"

"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"

"I..."

"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"

She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.

"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"

Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.

"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.

Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?

Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.

His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....

Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.

Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.

"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."

At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.

"But I'm not that woman!"

"Woman... what woman?"

"The one you were with at the cafe!"

"The one... Rosie?"

Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.

"You saw me with Rosie? How?"

"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.

"Good."

"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"

"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."

Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.

"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."

Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."

"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.

Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.

"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"

Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.

"Come with me."

"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.

Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.

Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.

"Where... where are we?"

"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."

Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.

"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"

"No, you're quite perfect actually."

"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."

"No." his voice was firm.

"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."

To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.

They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.

"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."

"Y/n."

"No."

"Y/n."

"No!"

Y/n, please."

She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.

"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."

"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.

"I pinky promise."

He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.

"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."

"Okay."

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.

"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"

Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.

"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."

He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.

"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."

"But you never talk to me."

"You never talk to me!"

Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.

"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."

Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.

"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."

Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.

"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."

Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.

"Do you see now?"

Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.

"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."

"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."

He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Who is Rosie?"

Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.

"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."

"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."

She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.

"It was advice about you, actually."

Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.

"About me?"

"Y-yes."

He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."

"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"

"Wait, you were avoiding me?"

His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.

"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"

"You think I'm hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"Maybe."

They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.

"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"

"To what?"

"To letting me... be... with you."

Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."

----

Tags:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170

A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

All my fics for Jude ♥︎ some mature content (if over the age of 18 and you cannot see them go to settings, content you see and turn off mature block ♥︎ tag on Jude scenarios here

🩷 = mature

Last updated July 26th

A win anyways ♥︎ hi can u write jude x reader comforting him after losing the match?

A blurb with no name ♥︎ Can you do a little blurb with a jealous Jude? Maybe you’re a few years older than him and thinks you’d get along better with Trent?

Anything for you ♥︎ Request: one where jude takes care of you when you feel off/bad and the feeling comes out of Nowhere. Like you start to reminisce abt your childhood and it ruins your mood

The L word ♥︎ hiii could you please write a jude imagine where the reader and jude have a lazy day at home and it’s cute and fluffy and he confesses he loves reader for the first time? thank you 😊

Stay ♥︎ hi my love, would you mind doing an angsty jude bellingham smut where they have agreed to break up as he needs to focus on his career but they decide to spend one more night together and have very intimate but also sad sex before they have to leave eachother (and if you don’t mind have them kinda talk it out and decide not to split in the end if you want) thank you 🫶🏻 🩷

Biggest supporter ♥︎ can u write a Jude Bellingham fluff abt just going to his practices and games and being his biggest supporter

Kissing booth ♥︎ Based on a TikTok I saw. Where you tell Jude you love him while taking photos in a photo booth.

Makeup or breakup ♥︎ Jude says some disgusting things during an argument which results in you leaving for some space. Maybe you'll makeup... 🩷

The way he loves you ♥︎ Headcanon on the way Jude shows you he loves you

What about us ♥︎ Jude lied to you and said he was going to stay with you instead of transferring. You felt betrayed

Lust and envy ♥︎ Summary: IM BEGGING jude smut/angst where him and reader are broken up but he finds an old (rough?) sextape and he touches himself to it (we want details tho intense solo sessions are HOT😩) then yeah he regrets leaving her and wants her backkk, and then maybe shes with another guy and he gets all jealous and possessive (sorry to much details) I want toxic jude soooo bad 🤭 🩷

Soulmates ♥︎ sitting in the car in the rain, you and Jude havs a heart to heart

Initials ♥︎ I just know bf Jude would buy you a necklace or a bracelet with his initial on it 😍

The other woman ♥︎ Jude can’t get enough of you, but he is with another woman that's not you 🩷

My life ♥︎ Jude angst where he tries to break up with the reader because he thinks that his life is too much for her but she’s not having it. Just like ‘yea but no’

Mykonos ♥︎ You and Jude enjoy your time on the beach together but that was cut short when you both decided the hotel room was a better option 🩷

Birthday surprise ♥︎ you surprise Jude on his birthday after being away from him for a while. You give me him a little something as well 🩷

There's this girl ♥︎ Jude and the reader talking late at night because they barely got to talk during the day. They talk about the random things, laughing at each other shitty jokes And stuff. Neither wants to hang up because they love to hear each other’s voice )

Love languages ♥︎ all five Love language with Jude 🩷

Hidden feelings ♥︎ Can we got some enemies to lovers with Jude maybe him and the reader “hate” each other but are in the same friend group and one day reader gets hurt and he rushes to come and help her 😩😩 anything will don’t tbh

Soul intertwine ♥︎ English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes… I was thinking about something fuffly + smut. Like the reader being innocent and a shy person. She and jude got into their relationship recently and they have had no sex yet bc jude don’t wants to pressure her to do anything (but ofc he wants have sex w her), especially when he starts to realize how innocent she is… he thinks she’s too cute and at the same time he wants to ruin her, he feel the need to protect her. But when y/n is in a convo w her girlies friends and one of them asks about her sex life w jude and she don’t know what to say, she would be curious about it but would be too shy to talk w jude about it he would find it weird that she was quiet and looking bothered by something and would talk w her. After insists a lot, she finally says about all the stuffs that she heard about her friends and she would be “idk how react” and jude gets fully turned on by her innocent but makes he’s best to not show ithe tries to find a way to explain for her without destroy her innocent but she wants to know about everything and she wants him to do everything w her bc she wants to be his. 🩷

๑‧˚₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹๑‧˚₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹๑

Main Masterlist

© writing by Iguessweallcrazyithinktho do not steal or repost any of my content anywhere without my consent

[deerlottie]

🐰 — you're the one (that im dreamin' of)

summary: ever since that stupid kiss with jackie, things have gotten worse. you just wish she liked you back. warnings: fluff with angst, childhood best friends to lovers, pining, dysphoria mentions/internalized transphobia, timeskips. not proofread a/n: 3k WORDS HOLY FUCK????? this is my first fic that ive done that has gotten to be this long im amazed wtf! this is definitively a favorite of mine now, and i hope you all enjoy it <3

you're just sitting next to each other on the couch watching a movie, you don't know why your heart is beating so fast.

maybe it's because her shoulder is touching yours, and every time she finds a joke funny, she leans into you while laughing, causing you to sweat and nervously laugh along with her.

god, you need to get over your little crush on jackie. well, it's not little at all, actually - you know you're in love with her, which is 10x worse. but the worst part is the voice in the back of your head telling you that she'd never be with someone like you. someone trans.

you know it's not true - jackie was very supportive when you came out to her in middle school. she was the only one defending you from shitty kids and let you stay at her house for a while when your parents found all your binding stuff and threw you out. of course, you had to go back eventually but they made you throw out anything related to that 'sinful' shit.

jackie would sneak you some of shauna's flannels when you'd reach the bus stop so you could be yourself outside of home, and you always chalked that fluttery feeling in your stomach when she called you handsome down to gender euphoria. which is partly true, but you secretly wished she would've called you her boyfriend instead.

but even so, you'd have to swallow the bile that rose to your throat when senior year of high school started, and you'd see her talking to jeff - to a real man. you know that there wasn't anything going on between them, but your stomach would churn when she would mention how cute he looked that day. it made you angry - at her, at jeff, at your parents, at yourself.

so angry, that you would start ignoring her. being too close to her got to your head and it was getting hard to ignore your growing feelings for her. but this is jackie we're talking about, and she cornered you until you spat out some pathetic excuse that you were just busy with homework to ever go see her. she didn't buy it for a second, but she saw how uncomfortable you were and didn't want to press you about it. you somehow made it through the rest of the school year with only seeing her a couple times while hanging out with mutual friends.

now, it's your freshman year at rutgers which jackie begged you to apply at so you could be college buddies, and to be honest, it wasn't your first choice, but you applied anyways. and it was the only one you got accepted to, so you had no choice in the matter. coincidentally, you and jackie had the same history class, so it was only natural that she had asked you to come over to her house to reconnect.

which was a bad idea.

"have you ever kissed someone?" jackie speaks suddenly, turning to you while twirling her hair around a finger.

you splutter for a second, gulping hard. "u-uh, no, i haven't. have you?"

please say no, please say no.

"me neither." she smiles, and if you hadn't been too embarrassed to make eye contact, you would have seen the way she glanced at your lips. you hum at her response and nod before turning your attention back to the movie.

a beat passes.

"wait, we should totally practice on each other!" she says it as if it were a huge revelation. she's looking at you with sparkles in her eyes and an innocent grin, reaching for the remote to pause the movie.

"what?" you squeak out, scooting up and sitting straighter on the couch, swallowing hard as you look at her. your hand shakes as you bring it up to scratch at the back of your head. "are you serious?"

"of course," she rolls her eyes. jackie leans in closer to you and grabs your hands, and if she heard the nervous breath of air you let out, she chose to ignore it. "i mean, it wouldn't even be awkward, right? we've known each other since we were kids. and besides, it's just a little practice, no harm done."

oh, if you only knew.

you think about it - really, think about it. you don't wanna kiss her just because you like her. you know that would just cause more problems with your feelings for her. but at the same time, you've barely gotten to know anyone while at this college and the only girl you talk to here is your classmate who sits beside you in art, and she only asked for a pencil one time. so, who knows when the next time you'd be given this opportunity to kiss another girl, let alone jackie taylor.

of course, there would be no other option you'd pick besides kissing her, even if that means destroying your friendship with her forever. for you, at least. she'd go on with her life and you'd be stuck dealing with all the emotions and be lucky if you don't suddenly explode with them.

you nod slowly, choosing to ignore the sinking feeling in your gut. your lips tremble as you speak, and a cold sweat consumes your body. "s-sure. it's just practice." you try to convince yourself of it, but it doesn't seem to work that well.

jackie giggles and claps her hands together, wiggling her toes as she gets in position next to you, and you nearly back out of it as you feel her breath hit your lips. she places her hand on your shoulder for a second, picking at the fabric of your shirt before trailing her hand to your neck and pulling you in for a soft kiss.

your brain immediately shuts off and you can hear the wires crack with electricity as her plump lips move against yours. you have no choice but to let her take control of the kiss, jackie giving you experimental pecks before getting brave enough to stick her tongue in your mouth.

you moan at the feeling, eyes widening with embarrassment as you pull away, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. you can't look her in the eye as you stutter out apologies, but you wish you could because the only thing you can focus on is how swollen her lips are.

"how was it? was i good?" she asks hopefully, leaning in and anticipating your response.

"mhm." is all you can say.

she raises her fists in a celebratory manner, proud of her newly found skill. she buzzes with excitement, looking lost in thought as she replays the moment in her head. she grabs the remote and turns to you again, seemingly mistaking your frozen state for some sort of expectation on her part.

"you were good too." she reaches out and touches your arm, eyebrows furrowing at how suddenly you get up.

"sorry-i just," you wipe at your nose and clear your throat, looking anywhere but her. "i forgot i have an early class tomorrow, and i don't wanna stay up late."

"oh, okay." she nods, trying not to sound disappointed. she watches you walk away and calls out your name, remembering something. "wait! you should come to my party that i'm hosting in a few weeks."

"what party?"

"it's just a small party with friends and their friends, probably. it's to kick off our first semester of college." she smiles and shrugs, bouncing on her tippy toes. "i really want you to be there with me."

"and shauna!" she adds quickly. "her semester at brown doesn't start for a couple more weeks so she's coming over to visit. she's been asking about you too, i don't know why she's suddenly so interested in you." she crosses her arms, looking annoyed.

"i'll try to show up, but don't expect anything." you tell her, giving her a small smile. you feel your heart skip a beat at her excited squeal and hug, awkwardly melting into it.

you walk out the door and can feel your emotions building up, kicking a stray rock on jackie's sidewalk before you let out a heavy sigh and wipe your face.

"fuck!"

the second you get to the party, you make a beeline straight for the drinks.

jackie's front door was unlocked when you arrived and for now, she was nowhere to be found. you're not entirely sure why you decided to show up in the first place - you've been a mess since that kiss you had with her all those weeks ago. it's all you can think about and replay in your mind, and some of your grades have started to slip. the thought of seeing her here after successfully avoiding her, which was surprisingly easy with a clever lie about being busy with classes, made you want to vomit.

you gulp down your 4th shot, grimacing at the burn in your throat. you pull out your phone and check the time - 9:49 p.m. you could stay another hour or so, take advantage of all the free drinks, maybe say a quick "hi" to jackie and shauna and then leave.

"should you really be drinking that much?" you hear a raspy voice tease from behind you.

speak of the devil.

you turn around and are face to face with shauna shipman, one of your best friends from elementary school. the last time you had spoken to her was a couple of days before high school graduation, and it was about jackie, because of course it would be. she had urged you to grow some balls and ask her out before any other person with brains would. you chickened out, that same voice in the back of your head saying she would've rejected you. of course, you've kept up with her through texts, but you haven't really had the time or heart to respond to all her questions about how it's going with jackie.

you roll your eyes and bashfully smile at the sight of her, clad in her iconic plaid shirt, which you're pretty sure is the exact one jackie gave you that one time. you shake your head to rid the thought of her, bringing shauna in for a hug. you inhale the scent of her cologne, sighing against her shoulder as your mind spins.

"i've missed you, shipman." you pull away from her and grab another shot, ignoring how she scoffs and rolls her eyes. despite this, she reaches out and grabs herself one, clinking it against your glass before you both swallow it down.

"you look good." she compliments, punching your arm and scanning your body over. "i heard that you've been on T for a while now, congrats. i like the little baby beard thing you've got going on." you swat her hand away from your face as she tries to touch it, chuckling at her antics.

"oh, thanks." you say with fake earnest, scratching at your stubble. "i've only been letting it grow out for 6 months now, no big deal."

"i'm sure jackie loves it, she's always had a thing for beards." shauna replies, smirking at you.

your smile drops a bit at the mention of jackie and you clear your throat awkwardly, looking away. shauna looks at you quizzically, wondering what she said wrong. you shake your head, pouring yourself another shot before sighing.

"it's a long story." you slur, the alcohol finally catching up to you. she grabs you by the hands and leads you through the crowd of people and into jackie's backyard, pulling a chair out and sitting you down.

"well, spit it out."

you end up spilling your guts to shauna about your feelings and what happened with jackie, surprising yourself for being able hold tears back as you pour your heart out. she rubs your back comfortingly as she listens to you talk about everything, her heart hurting as you mention your internalized transphobia.

she opens her mouth to speak but another voice calls out for you.

"there you are!" jackie yells, stopping in her tracks when she sees how close shauna is to you. her annoyance turns into concern when she notices how drunk you are. "i've been looking for you everywhere."

you giggle at her, looking up with a dopey smile and rush to your feet. "jackieeeee, hi."

"how much has he had to drink?" jackie looks at shauna, growing more concerned. you stumble into her arms, and she catches you, trying to keep you still as you mumble incoherently into her neck.

shauna shrugs, wondering if she should intervene. you're nearly black out, but she knows this would be the only way on earth that you'd confess to jackie. "maybe 4, 5 shots?"

jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes. she grabs your face and looks at you with a soft expression. "i'm gonna take you back to my room, okay? you can rest in there until you get sober enough."

"noooo," you pout, letting yourself get tugged by her back into the house and up the stairs, which you nearly trip on. you huff and puff as she pushes you into her room, feeling old memories come back at being in here. "you're no fun."

she ignores you and guides you over to her bed, pulling the covers back and helping you get in. you have no energy to fight back as she tucks you in, moving stray hairs out of your face and kissing your forehead. she leaves for a second to fetch you water, forcing you to drink some.

"why did you have to ask me to do it?" you ask suddenly, hiccupping and closing your eyes as you feel yourself get tired.

"do what?" she says quietly, running her nails over your scalp as she watches over you.

"ask me to practice kissing." you mumble. "i hated it. i hate you."

"i'm sorry." she apologizes, feeling a pang of sadness at your words. "i never wanted to make you fe-."

"i think i'm in love with you, jackie."

she freezes, her movements stilling as she processes what you just said. she swallows down what she really wants to say and shakes her head, blinking away tears. "you're drunk, you don't mean that."

"i do. i've known since middle school, i just could never tell bring myself to tell you because you'd never date someone like me."

"shut up." she gets out of bed, releasing a shaky sigh and fixing her hair. she feels her stomach drop as you give her a dejected look and turns around to face the door. "you can sleep here tonight. i'll come and check on you in the morning."

she walks towards the door and opens it, not looking back to you as she whispers a "goodnight." you're too drunk right now to care about what you just did, so you close your eyes and sleep.

you wake up with arguably the biggest hangover ever and groan, covering up the creeping sunlight with your blanket. wait- not your blanket, jackie's blanket. you sit up, feeling your heart sink as you realize what happened last night.

shit.

just as you're about to get out of bed, the door opens and in walks jackie, looking surprised at you being awake.

"i've checked on you like 5 different times, and you were always asleep." she chuckles awkwardly, sitting at the foot of the bed and fingering the loose thread on her pajamas. "i didn't know if you had classes today but i figured i'd let you sleep in anyway."

"thanks." you mutter, licking your dry lips and reaching for the water she brought you last night and taking a generous swig. you glance at the clock that reads 2:33 p.m. and sigh. you do have a 3 o'clock class but you really don't think you can handle going anywhere today.

the room is filled with uncomfortable silence as you both sit and pretend like you're not glancing at each other. you fumble with the water bottle before you gather the courage and speak with a small voice.

"i'm, uh, i'm sorry about last night. i wasn't thinking." that's as best as you can do without feeling like throwing up.

"did you mean it? what you said about me?" jackie scoots closer, removing the water bottle from your grip and placing it back on the nightstand. you internally scream as you make eye contact with her before looking away, feeling too nervous. her hand covers yours and you feel a shock of electricity, nodding your head slowly as you glance back to her.

"y-yes." you finally say, voice breaking. "i meant it."

you watch as her shoulders relax, closing her eyes and sighing out. she looks to you with a half grin and playfully shoves you, bouncing to her knees on the bed and holding you by the shoulders. "you're an idiot."

"excuse me?" you furrow your eyebrows, looking at her like she's crazy.

jackie shakes her head and pushes you back so you're lying down the bed and gets onto your lap, her lips meeting yours in a sweet kiss. you feel like you're having a fever dream between the hangover and jackie kissing you, but you welcome it, placing your hands on her hips and kissing her back.

you spend at least 5 minutes catching up with a long awaited makeout session, jackie pulling back with a satisfied grin. she rests her forehead against yours and caresses your cheek with her hand, looking into your eyes with a loving expression that makes your heart flutter.

"i was waiting for you to confess to me all these years, you know." she mumbles, kissing your nose. "i was starting to think you were gay or something."

you chuckle, tracing random patterns on her back. you lean up and flip her over on her back, smiling at her sound of surprise that flies from her mouth. you place your arms over both sides of her head and kiss her gently, pulling back only slightly.

"well, here's my confession. jackie taylor, i've been in love with you since we were in middle school. you would make me the happiest man in the world if you went out with me. what do you say?"

"hmm," she ponders, giggling as you pinch her side. she brings you in for another long, sweet kiss, getting sidetracked as she stares at you.

"i say yes."

[mins-fins]

second times the charm?

&&. kim jiwoong and shen ricky, you can have fun with this situation.

pairing: kim jiwoong x gn!reader x shen ricky

genre: university au, fluff, comedy(?)

warnings: none! this is just horribly bad!

word count: 0.6k

notes: this was requested by @seungrem!! i am so sorry for how long this took to come out 😞 i havent written for zb1 in a long while and im very very rusty.. i took so long with this request just for it to be so lackluster, i hope you still enjoy it, though, my apologies for making you wait for so long

kim jiwoong is not in love with you.

shy, gorgeous, bad joke teller kim jiwoong can't possibly be in love with you. for starters, everyone likes him, he's pretty much the ideal man. second, he doesn't talk to you enough for you to even begin to think that. jiwoong is nice to you, or course, but that doesn't mean he's in love with you.

on the other hand, shen ricky is most likely very in love with you.

wealthy, overdramatic, obvious ricky shen isn't as slick as he thinks. his constant pampering of you, stutters every time you respond to his flirting, and the way he never actually makes direct eye contact with you, you can tell, he's not exactly good at hiding his undisclosed feelings for you.

now— why does any of this matter? you aren't really supposed to care about jiwoong or ricky or anything that isn't your coursework, you have duties to fulfill as apart of the student council, you have no time for love.

but life seems to have other plans, because you somehow get dragged off to some rendezvous matthew planned. great. just great. matthew dragging you out of your room when you have important work to do is just such a regular thing for him to do, you hate it.

"why are you so down?"

you snicker, immediately recognizing jiwoong's voice. "i'm not down, i'm annoyed because matt decided to drag me out of my room".

your response humors jiwoong, and it's clear by the way a small smile spreads across his face. he doesn't seem to care about gyuvin and gunwook's screams as they attempt to throw taerae into the pool, he just deal with shit like this all the time. "is star student y/n not a fan of pool parties?"

"i'm not a fan of being distracted from my studies".

this conversation is going a strange way, you note, but jiwoong laughs again. he's beautiful, so beautiful, a guy like this could never be in love with you, and it's so obvious why.

"y/n".

your attention is taken away from jiwoong, and placed onto ricky, who seems to come out of nowhere. he takes notice of jiwoong, narrowing his eyes at the older boy, but he doesn't say anything to him. "you wanna go get ice cream?"

"um.. i—"

"we were having a conversation" jiwoong smiles politely. oh. the realization dawns on you. he doesn't know that ricky is in love with you, this isn't some sort of cocky remark, they are genuine words from him. "hi ricky".

"hi" ricky doesn't see it, though, he thinks jiwoong is trying to compete with him. you lightly punch ricky in his shoulder, telling him to cut it out. "anyway, y/n, you want popsicles?"

"uh.. not really, i just kinda wanna sit—"

"please?"

oh my goodness, is he really begging for you to go get popsicles with him? you click your tongue, rolling your eyes.

"can jiwoong come too?"

"oh i really don't have to!"

"no no no" you stand up, smiling at the older as you clasp your hands together. "i insist, nothing brings people together like popsicles, right?" you inquire.

your lying, you just want to piss off ricky, and spend more time with jiwoong. now, this is probably not the best idea, but ricky won't actually do anything crazy, he's just as big of a fan of jiwoong as you are.

"i mean—" ricky pauses, he wants alone time with you, but you don't want that. he is the one who offered up popsicles, he can just say no to jiwoong joining the two of you..

but he doesn't.

"alright then! popsicles for three!"

the words get a very much needed laugh out of you.

[siddhigirls]

she belongs to the city

pairing: toxic!dark!rafe cameron x stripper!reader

warnings: stalking, mentions of sex

rafe

she reminds me of the city. the pretty cn tower behind her lucious body, flowers in her hand as well as some losers hand in the other, who the fuck was he anyway? he probably met her at club zanzibar, doesn’t know shit bout her other than the her body under her clothes. i felt like the biggest creep watching her laugh at his jokes as he takes occasional glances at her tits bouncing lightly. i fixed my cap as i followed behind, watching his hand leave her hand and go to her lower back, whispering little nothings in her ear that caused her to grin from ear to ear.

i hate the fact that she gave me one lap dance and we shared a moment together, god she let me do a line on her tit, i’m just turned on thinking about her. i’ll see her tonight. she will be mine.

third person

you let the music take over your body as you see grown sweaty older men throw money at you, you picked up the money and made your way back behind the stage. your manager came up to you his thick moustache being too distracting from telling you important information sometimes. “hey some guy asked for you specifically saturn so be a doll and go to him, remember you’re my best client” your manager said as he eyes your body up and down, making his hand down to his pants, fixing his boner. you made your way out with the dimmed pink light fixture on the ceilings, spilt drinks on the ground, blunt roaches all over the ground, you looked around the room looking at a very familiar face, his hat covering his face, brought his hand up indicating you to come over.

“so when can i take you out honeys’” his sweet deep voice rung in your ears, you bit your lip smearing your mac lip liner underneath your lips, “baby you can’t take me on a date, now would you like a private dance or..?” you said climbing on his lap, his musky cologne filling your nose as you straddle him, holding the back of his neck”

“1000. just for one night.”

“what—“

“okay 2500, baby i can go higher.”

“no— i don’t think you get it.”

“5000.” he said sternly, “you can spend the night, you can even quit this job let me just show you one night baby— give me one fucking night” he begged, knowing he had a raging boner.

“i’ll fake a stomach ache..” you said, making your way to your managers office.

“y/n we need you. please.” your manager pleaded “i feel like im gonna puke” you lied, fake gagging. “okayokayokay! go pack your things and leave.” he said, you left in a hurry. you saw him look at you, made a swift head movement towards the door.

your number one rule as a stripper is that you cannot catch feelings for clients.

“you know you can’t pay me to have sex with you” you said getting his range rover, the musky scent of his cologne hitting your nose once again, he took off his hat showing his buzzcut, “i know that’s why i won’t have sex with you for money, but doesn’t mean i won’t fuck you at all..” his sentence making you feel cold, turning his car on, making his way to yonge and dundas.

the dark r&b playing through his speakers low enough so you can hear your own heart pounding out your chest. “so.. what’s your name” he says breaking the silence, “saturn.” you answered, another rule, do not tell your real name to clients, ever. your friend did the mistake of telling her name to a client and he stalked her and wouldn’t leave her alone till she got a restraining order filed against him.

“bullshit, y/n.”

your heart was in your throat, what the actual fuck were you doing. “h-how do you know that..” you stuttered, “i know everything sweetheart.” he says scarily enough, this frat boy lookin’ dude is actually a fucking stalker. you pulled your phone out your pocket slowly but surely to send your friend a text, “i wouldn’t do that’s if i were you.” he said chuckling. you put your phone back in defeat. “by the way it’s rafe honey” he smiled

the car ride felt long, he finally parked outside his airbnb which isn’t too far from kensington market. he got out the car and ran to your side, opening the door for you. “i could’ve done that myself, rafe.” the way you said his name made him go insane.

“you deserve it baby” he says. he opened the door to his airbnb as well, you walked in watching the beautiful chandelier hanging over the conversation pit near by the huge kitchen, the brown wooden stairs leading up to the second floor. “so, i’m sure you’re wondering why i know almost everything about you, i’ll tell you, once you give me your phone.” he says while sweat trickles down his forehead, the heat exhausting him and you. you were scared, but you obeyed. “good girl baby i’m so proud of you” he says rubbing the back of your head, taking your cherry scented perfume.

“no one will ever care for you like i do..”

[kabloswrld]

FANFIC IDEA

Idk I feel like I been going crazy over this idea ( plus my love for Cody Rhodes growing each day ) ALSO I'm not gifted enough to make this a reality so if anyone is willing to make it I would be so happy

- I was envisioning this as a plus size reader ( maybe black too but I might be pushing it 😓)

But I don't really see a lot of plus size wrestlers reader so 🤷🏾‍♀️🫣

ALSO PLEASE MAKE THIS A SERIES 🛐 begging

IF CONFUSING OR HAVE QUESTIONS PLEASE ASK I DID WRITE THIS AT 4am SOOO YEA

So imma like bullet point it so it's easier for writers to add or take away stuff but this is like the main plot idea(s) I had in mind

Cody and reader have been seen backstage getting close by triple h, getting the idea of a love storyline. So he tested it out by having reader and Cody do a promo (them flirting but like bickering kinda idk) with it getting positive reactions

Triple h asking Cody and reader their thoughts on the idea with both Cody and reader like idk but quickly agreeing to it anyways

They do a couple promos, ringside etc picking up on hints of them getting closer and closer and starting or care for each other on a deeper level ( i want to say that Cody falls in love first but reader starts to quickly after not being as revealing in it as Cody is but reader is more subtle with it )

But it all comes to a head when Rhea picks up on reader and Cody's closeness challenging her to a match ( I want to say that reader as already been butting heads with Rhea ) the match being that if Rhea won reader won't be able to interfere with anything that has to do with judgement day and Cody and his group ( Seth,Sami, jey and Randy ) and if reader does then they can't go for the women's world championship until after wrestlemania.

Reader would lose the fight. But Cody wouldn't know about the stipulation UNTIL Cody had a match with Dominic with Rhea coming out to jump Cody ( causing a DQ ) with reader watching nothing knowing what do it ( a manger would remind user of the stipulation but reader doesn't care if it meant helping Cody and protecting him from a possible injury) so reader goes out there ( maybe with a chair or something) defending Cody, checking on him calling for help.

It won't be until a week ( or more then a week up to y'all ) that Cody would find out about the stipulation when Cody and reader win a match against Rhea and Dominic. Both Cody and reader are heading up the ramp when Rhea is handed a mic as she tells Cody about the stipulation rubbing it in readers face.

Cody he walks off mad, upset, he felt like it was his fault. He wasn't strong enough so you had to go out there to save him and cost you your chance. Reader catches up with him basically telling him that it wasn't his fault and that it was their decision and he shouldn't feel that way and how they hate when he's mad at them. ( I had the idea of Rhea joking calling Cody reader's boyfriend and Cody mentions it and reader plays dumb confusing Cody )

Causing Cody to be in his head it would be until he's in the locker room with Sami, jey, Seth and Randy did they talk to him asking what's up and Cody is like "do yall think reader actually likes me???" And they're like "ofc!!!" With Randy ( who wasn't really speaking comes out of nowhere) "dude she throw away her chance for the championship for you🙄"

OKAY IM YAPPING BUT LIKE. Maybe they get Naomi and bianca involved on how to ask reader out and well the rest is up to y'all I would to see this as a series !!

[eddies-whoreee]

Traitor (1/2)

Summary: Eddie chose Chrissy over you. You couldn’t stand see them together so you left. In those 2 years you’ve been gone, he realized you are the love of his life and he made a huge mistake.

CW: angst, mean!eddie, bitchy!Chrissy, lots of crying, happy ending (eventually). BASED IN MODERN TIMES!!

Hawkins, July 2020

“What? Eddie I thought-” you say as tears fall down your face. “Look, I’m just not in the mindset to be in a relationship its me not you, okay?” He tells you. You shake your head, “w-why? What happened, w-was it something I did?” You question, tears now pour down your face as he just stared at you, no emotion what so ever. “I just told you, I just can’t be in a relationship.” He states more harshly, rolling his eyes. “It’s her, isn’t it. It’s Chrissy” you ask. “Oh my God, Y/n, please you’re being paranoid! My mental health is all fucked up and you think im cheating!?! Wow you’re really selfish” he snaps at you. “No! That’s not what I’m saying, Eddie I do care!” You speak. He holds the bridge of his nose and let’s out a frustrated sigh. “Just-please, we’re done okay? It’s over I can’t-” he says walking away. Leaving you, heart broken, crying, and mostly confused in your driveway.

2 weeks later

You were walking to lunch with your best friend Robin, who had been comforting you the past 2 weeks. That’s when you see it, “what the fuck” you mumble stopping in your tracks. Robin looks at you confused and follows your gaze. Her face drops, tears flood your eyes and you turn around storming off. She follows after you calling out for you. You guys get into the girls bathroom when you completely break down. “He said, they were just friends! He said I was paranoid” you sob into her hug. “I know babes I’m so sorry” she says rubbing your back soothingly. “I can’t believe him, I thought- I thought he loved me” you state. “He’s an asshat that lost the baddest bitch ever, not that you are a bitch. Chrissy’s a two faced cunt anyways it won’t last long” she tries to assure you. “That’s not the point! He told me that he wasn’t ready mentally for a relationship, and then suddenly two weeks later he’s in a relationship with the same girl he told me not to worry about” you tell her. “He such a slut!” You exclaim. “Totally slut” Robin agrees.

Hawkins, August 2020

Robin sat leaned on the side of your car as you loaded one of your boxes into your trunk. “Babes are you sure this is the best decision?” She asks worriedly. “I can’t stand to see them and I need a break from the Hawkins gossip. Its toxic, plus my aunt has been begging me to come down with her forever so..” you trail off. She nods, “I’m gonna miss you, like a lot. You’re the only person who doesn’t suck in this town” she says. “Hey! Okay that hurt!” Steve exclaims loading the last box into your trunk. “Thanks Steve” you tell him. He nods. “Okay even you suck sometimes Steve, and Y/n has been my bestie since kindergarten so… it’s different” Robin explains. He rolls his eyes playfully. You sigh closing the trunk. “Well, guys I guess this is it. All packed up and ready to go” you say. Robin nods tears filling her eyes. “Don’t cry, then I’m gonna cry” you state tears already starting to form. She gives you a hug tears spilling on your shirt, you didn’t care though. “Don’t forget about me please, I couldn’t handle it” she jokes. “Hell no, you always find away to invade my thoughts” you giggle. “Stevie? Why are you covering your face?” You asks concerned. “My eyes are sweating” he says. “Aww are you gonna miss me Stevie” you tease. “Something like that” he speaks. You give him a hug. “Your killing me smalls” he jokes returning your hug. As you pull away, steve quickly wipes his tears. “I love you guys, okay? I’ll be back one day. Okay this isn’t forever” you tell them. They nod, “okay farewell my fellow friends” you say then wave as you get in the car.

Hawkins, November 2022

You step out of the car, letting out a sigh of relief. For the first time in a longtime you were actually happy to be in Hawkins. You unlock the door to your moms house, it was completely pitch black. You tried to flip the light on but it wouldn’t turn on. “Surprise!!” Your friends shout as the lights turn on, you jump and let out a yelp. “Holy fucking shit!! What the fuck?!?” You giggle. “Welcome home!” Robin exclaims giving you a very aggressive hug. “Hey bestie” you tell her, she pulls back inspecting you. “Have you grown 6 feet? Did you get new hair?” She questions. “No just got over a breakup, you know I have my glow back” you state happily. She nods pulling you into another hug. “Hey Robin share the wealth we miss her too” Steve says, Robin sighs rolling her eyes and letting you go. “Hey kiddo” Steve says pulling you into a hug. “I’m the same age as you!” You tell him. “But your like 10 feet shorter than me so..” he states making you giggle. “I hate you” you joke. The door bell rings, Steve looks at the door confused. “Are we expecting someone?” He asks looking at the rest of the party. They all shake their head ‘no’. “I’ll get it. Be right back” he says patting your head as he walks to the door. Robin and Dustin lead you into the kitchen showing you the master meal they were preparing that was only minutes away from being done. “You need to go” Steve says angrily. “Just let me see her, it’s important” some one replies pleadingly. “As important as cheating on her with Chrissy and breaking her heart?” Steve states. There was a moment of silence. “That’s what I thought.. leave. Now.” Steve tells the person. Their conversations were muffled but you could make the words out. You walk from the kitchen to see who it was. You freeze in your steps, your heart raced and tears were working their way into your eyes. “Baby, Y/n, please just 2 minutes that all I need” he begs. “Eddie? How did you know I was back?” You ask trying to keep the tears from falling. “It’s a small town and that’s all Robin and Steve talk about, and I visit Family Video a lot” he says. “Look, just tell me you don’t want him here and he’s gone” Steve tells you. You fiddle with your fingers knowing you would probably regret this decision. “It’s fine. It’ll only be 2 minutes” you speak walking to the door. “Outside” you say walking out. Eddie nods shutting the door behind you. You take a seat on the porch swing. Eddie sits next to you. He tries to put a hand on your thigh, but you scoot away from his touch. “I made a horrible mistake. Like the biggest mistake ever. I love you, you’re the love of my life” he says. You scoff shaking your head, “I’ve heard that before” you tell him. “I know, I know, it’s just I’m an asshole okay?” He states. “I gathered that” you speak rolling your eyes. “So why do you want me back now? Did she break your heart, you figure out that being with her isn’t pure paradise? Let me guess she treated you like her puppet?” You question bitterly. He doesn’t say anything knowing you were right.

Hawkins, October 2020

“Ughh Eddie that isn’t the point you can’t go to the party dressed as the joker if I’m not Harley Quinn! You will be Bugs Bunny and you’ll have a smile on your face the whole time!” She spits at him. “Baby, I don’t want-” he’s cut off by her scoff. “It isn’t about what you want! I’m head cheerleader! Okay? Having you as a charity case is bad enough. I can’t have you ruining Halloween too” she states angrily. “Wow, so that’s what I am a fucking charity case” Eddie asks. “Well I’m not dating you because I love you and want to get married” she snickers fixing up her makeup. He scoffs shaking his head. “Well then have fun going to the party with Jason, because I’m done, with you, this bullshit, Y/n was right your a cold hearted bitch” Eddie snaps at her. She turns around and narrows her eyes at him. “You can’t break up with me 30 minutes before the damn party! Jason is going with Cynthia! I cant go alone!” She exclaims. “Too bad find another charity case, get out” Eddie tells her. “Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it Eddie, c’mon-” she tries to speak but Eddie cuts her off. “Nope leave! God you’re actually a horrible person” he says tears forming his eyes. But not from his and Chrissy’s break up but from the fact he knew he fucked up. He was always happy with you. You never made him feel less. “Whatever you will never find someone better than me!” She screams storming out. He sighs as he hears the door slam. He plops down on the bed and cries, he feels like a fucking child, an immature, stupid child.

Hawkins, May 2021

He walks into Family Video going to buy your favorite movie since it was your birthday and you always loved 10 Things I Hate About You. As he walks up from to the register putting the movie on the counter. “Hm, her favorite movie, doing some sulking from losing the best thing that ever happened to you?” Robin asks bitterly. “This isn’t very good costumer service” Eddie states. “You know if I wanted to which I really should I could refuse service to you, since I have the right to” she replies with a fake smile pointing to the sign. He rolls his eyes. “Can I just get the damn movie” he speaks frustratedly. “Sure that’ll be $13.99” she says. “What? the price says 8.99” he tells her. She snickers, “oh you get the douche fee.” He scoffs and hands her a 10 dollar bill. “Good one Buckley, how’s Vickie?” He smirks, “how’s Chrissy?” She snaps back. He tenses up. “Bye-bye loser” she states with a smile. “Fuck off” he mumbles grabbing the movie and walking out.

Hawkins, July 2021

He sat in his living room plopped down on the couch. This was about the 100th time he watch you favorite movie just in this month alone. As Wayne entered the house he sighed seeing the movie playing and his nephew snuggling up with one of your shirts. “Boy, this again?” He asks. Eddie jumps and pushes your shirt away. “What? No- I- just” he tries to lie but Wayne huffs. “It’s your fault, you broke that sweet girl’s heart. Now you’re getting a taste of your own medicine” he tells him bluntly. “I know Wayne, trust me I’ve been contemplating my whole life’s decisions since that day” Eddie replies annoyingly. “So why are you sulking” Wayne questions. “Because I love her! I fucked up, exactly a year ago today I made the worst mistake of my life. You should’ve seen how heart broken she was, god, every time I close my eyes all I see is her crying because I broke her heart.” Eddie exclaims tears flowing down his face. Wayne did hate to see his nephew sad, but this was his own fault. Wayne didn’t raise Eddie to be a heart breaker. He raised him to respect and treat women like queens and Eddie just screwed up, no way to sugar coat that. “I miss her Wayne” Eddie says. “Yeah, I do too son” Wayne sighs walking into the bathroom. Eddie lays back staring at the ceiling.

Hawkins, November 2022

“Eddie you really hurt me. I gave you everything, you were my first everything! And you just…hurt me” you tell him. He sighs wiping away the tear that poured down his face. “Look I’m not asking for you to take me back, or even forgive me. I just want you to give me another chance, I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. You are too good for me, you loved me at my worst when everyone hated me you were there and I fucked up. I know it. Just let me make what I can up to you. I know I’ll never fully be able to win all the trust I used to have back but just let me make you feel how special you make me feel” he pleads. “Why did you do it?“ you question. “Because.. I thought people would look at me different if I was with her, I thought for once people would actually treat me like a decent human being instead of judging me for my last name. It’s not a good reason, no reason would be. But it’s the truth and I’m done lying to you” he says looking down at the ground. “Did you c-cheat?” You asks. “Hell no, I never cheated. No. I would never” he states looking at you. “But you talked to her while we were together? You wanted her while you were with me?” You question. “Yes, but I never stopped loving you, not for one second. I was just tired, of being labeled the freak, Jason and his mouth breathing clan fucking with me. People looking down on me. But I thought that if I had the head cheerleader on my side, that would change everything. What I did was completely selfish. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He apologizes, holding your hand. “Times up Munson” Steve says as he walks out the door. You stand up wiping your tears away. Eddie sighs and nods standing up. He goes in for a hug but you back up. You hold out your fist for a bump. He bumps your fist. “I love you, bye” he says walking to his car. You watch him and huff. “Love you too” you mumble and walk in the house.

THERE WILL BE A PART 2!! THE FINAL PART HAPPEY ENDINGS ARE TO COME!! SHOULD I END WITH SOME SMUT OR NO?? I can’t decide!!

[betasquadx]

- Niko Omilana nsfw alphabet -

nobody asked for this but I made it anyway💋

A/N : This is heavily inspired by @kennysboxergf ‘s one!! Go check them out<3!! Also I was inspired by a sub niko fic I saw a while ago, please tag them because I can’t find it now. It was, and is my roman empire.

——

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is showering you with kisses, whether it be on the neck, cheek, forehead, or somewhere else (🫢) he’s kissing you, everywhere.

Gives you a hot water bottle and cuddles you on the bed while telling you how much he loves you. When its time for a shower or bath he’s carrying you over and helping you clean up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his hands, no questions asked. He loves the way they’re long and slender and can make you feel weak with just 1 or 2.. probably more. He probably also loves his height, the way he can stand over you and have that advantage that makes you feel intimated in a good way, turns him on yk.

For you, he’s a tit man 100%. Im not hearing ''he’s actually an ass ma-” no. He’s a tit man. He loves to touch them, suck them, bite them, kiss them, lick them, you get me, anything.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Loves seeing you covered in his or yours, he doesn’t care. Probably rushes to clean it up after as he doesn’t like it when it dries, trying to make you and him clean.

Would also probably cum on your tits so he can play with them as he cleans you up.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Please tell me i’m not the only one thinking he can be submissive? (Or its just cause I love submissive men but we’ll ignore that!!) Like I swear he’s 100% both.

Like when he’s dominant, he’s very dominant. Pounding into you, dirty talking, praising, choking even.. but when he’s submissive..he’s whining, whimpering your name, begging, feel like he’d be good for you tho, like he’d only be a brat sometimes. He loves when you praise him after he does what you say.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows what he’s doing, probably had a good few relationships before so he’s definitely not inexperienced, he is open to trying new things out with you and exploring stuff if you want too and would never make you do something you feel uncomfortable with!!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

1 word. Cowgirl. Im telling you he loves it. He loves the way even when your on top of him he can thrust his hips ups making you hold onto him as he plays with your breasts,

he loves to look up at your face contorted in pleasure as he goes faster making you weak.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Goofy oh my days💀, mans would be full on cracking jokes after he just made you unable to walk what? Even in the heap of the moment too he’d throw in a quick one.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I’d say its well kept care off, there is hair down there but not a lot, he definitely looks after himself tho.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s very intimate. Loves pleasuring you, like he’d be the type to eat you out for an hour maybe more, just to see your face. He loves whispering praises in your ear, telling you how good your doing and how your beautiful.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Icl he probably wanks all the time to you. Even if its only 1 night without you, he’d be in his room, imagining your head on his cock, teasing himself essentially,

going slower then faster and repeat as he lets out moans as loud as he wants too, you think he care’s if someone hears him? He’d get turned on of that too.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Like I said before he loves praise. Praising you, telling you about how gorgeous you are, assuring you that your doing good, but he also loves when you praise him, as I also said he’d be submissive.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’d do it anywhere. He definitely prefers your bedroom or his but I can see him getting turned on by doing it in a public bathroom, loves the idea of someone walking in on yous.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Everything. You bend over in the kitchen, your fucking in the kitchen. Start rubbing his thigh under a table while your out? Your fucking in the public bathroom. He’s sensitive and probably gets worked up easily.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s pretty much open to try anything, but he probably wouldn’t be into degrading you physically like causing physical pain, don’t get me wrong he loves slightly choking you but only to the point where you’re getting pleasured, he wouldn’t go beyond that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving 100%. Now, he does love when your down there, your mouth on his cock, teasing him slowly as he starts to loose composure, he loves that.

But.. he prefers giving more. Loves when he’s in between your thighs, eating you out slowly as your legs start shaking so much you squeeze him softly.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both, depends on his mood. Slow and sensual, where he goes slowly, kissing you, moving all the way down to your neck leaving soft kisses and hickeys, telling you that your beautiful as he looks up at you with fond eyes.

But he also likes fast and rough, the tension, pounding into you, hearing you beg, your moaning, the way you can barely speak as he speeds up, the dirty talking? Definitely both.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They happen a lot with the fact yous fuck in public places, however, he doesn’t like them because he can’t properly take care off you after, so yes, they happen a lot but its not preferred.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He takes a lot of risks. Fucking in public places especially moaning loudly so people can hear, he loves risky situations. However he wouldn’t put you in danger.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last a good few rounds but it depends on the night and how horny he is. He can last pretty long tho, even after your teasing.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn’t ever really own any or was interested in them, he’s confident in the fact he can pleasure you without them, but if you ever wanted too he would try them, especially on himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a tease. Both of you are. You both try to tease each other to see who will break first and who will last the longest.

However once it gets too much he’ll definitely let you know, and probably start begging you too.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Same as in real life, he’s LOUD. Like he doesn’t care, he grunts and groans in your ears while also whimpering when you are teasing him,

letting out high pitched whines and gasping noises as he begs you, he doesn’t care. You’ve lost track on the amount of noise complaints you’ve gotten as you started going out with him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

As well as your tits he loves your thighs. Slapping them, rubbing them, kissing them, sucking them? The lots. When he’s eating you out and you close them as he gazes up at you? He loves that.

But he probably goes feral when you tease him.. more specifically his thighs , rub them slowly while you praise him? He’d fold. Slap them and he’d let out the biggest whine. It makes him weak.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Mans is PACKIN. 9 inches at least bro I don’t even know if thats erect.. he’s not very thick but he’s long. Loves the way he hits all the spots in you, making you jump in pleasure or buck your hips upwards.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is fucking high. He wants you all the time its insane. If he knows your even the slightest bit horny he’ll go for it, anywhere and everywhere.

Especially if you tease him, most of the time it’ll catch him off guard and if you do it all day expect him to give you a taste of your own medicine when you get home.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Im not even joking when I say that even after a good few rounds he can stay awake for at least 2 hours. After taking care of you, cleaning you up, I’d say he’d talk to you for a while, maybe even watch a movie, and then go asleep.

———

Hope yous enjoyed this as much as I did🤭.

[httpiastri]

this took way longer than expected but im back!

quick warning: this ask is really really long so putting that separation banner thing might help but if not, i hope this doesn’t bother anyone who has this pop up on their dash 😞🙏 (and please don’t hate me if it does)

important timestamps in pepe’s stream:

0:33 — pepe smiles and waves

1:21 — idk what this is but it’s so cute

3:54 — he got embarrassed 😭😭

9:03 — this is just attractive tbh

12:38 — 😊😊 (but really though why is he so casually attractive this is so unfair)

16:03 — his laugh…

12:33 — praising his mum

18:13 — from “i’m so sad” (x3) to “just get good mate”

18:37 — chitter chatter

19:32 — laugh

20:15 — quick flex 🤭😋

30:25 — his inner dork shows up and starts rating pokémon for us

42:19 — quick drop of the f-word

43:05 — bro idk this is just so cute he looks like that one specific picture of an otter begging for food with its paws together 😭😭

51:55 — quick mention of an incident (or backstory?) regarding his name that he proceeds to not tell us about

53:09 — this isn’t really pepe but christian has such a stupid sense of humour and icl i laughed

1:00:40 — christian’s stupid humour shows up again and this si the exact kind of joke i’d laugh so hard at and make under very specific circumstances and PEPE’S laugh is just so endearing here i love him so much

1:02:38 — pepe is good at chess, according to christian. don’t know if this is true— i used to play too but i forgot the rules and my family exclusively plays checkers (everyone’s insanely good at it) so i currently have zero knowledge about chess.

1:04:32 — “too tall 😞😞” (again, not for me, because my head would be right at chest level, as you so perfectly put into perspective for me😋😋)

1:05:55 — “kimi was always perfect” talk by christian and pepe

1:07:07 — pepe’s upset, christian says exactly what i’d say to him (this is just sweet tbh)

1:09:40 — quick stretch 🥰🥰

1:10:58 — i might be biased but i just think he’s so good at explaining and putting into perspective what exactly happens/happened during the race for us non-drivers

1:11:20 — ^^

1:11:37 — also so endearing

1:12:50 — sportsmanship or whatever but i love that he’s so respectful towards everyone

1:13:38 — kendall jenner mention by christian, also don’t knowwhat it is about this moment but it made me feel something about their friendship with sebastian (i don’t know how to put this feeling into words but i think they are mostly positive feelings)

1:24:33 — quick little dance to gata only (why’s he literally doing my default dance though 😭😭) but it’s okay i just think it’s so adorable

1:25:25 — CORRECTION: he can bench 138kg… which is insane to me but also he can do 150 on leg press?? that’s like three of me bro that’s so scary (🥰🤭😍😊) to think about

1:27:10 — christian reacts to pepe’s fitness the way i would (insanely)

1:38:56 — driving driving 🏎️🏎️ (really long section where i wanted to stare at him but was also enchanted and captivated by the smooth driving)

1:50:16 — “that’s what they said” joke 🤨📸

1:54:55 — quick thumbs up and a smile (what a lovable sweetheart)

2:12:00 — quick 🫶 followed by him crossing his arms

i’m sure there are more significant moments than this (like when he accidentally launched a tomato at christian in their game ((this is significant to me because again, i have a really stupid sense of humour and laughed really hard at that too)) but this is all i recorded and they’re mainly significant because they made me feel things (🤥🤥)

okay that’s it, bye bye!! some of the timestamps at the start (ish) might be a little off and you might’ve already watched the entire video but i hope this was helpful for you and anyone who may come across this (tbh this wasn’t an entirely selfless endeavour but anyway)— until next time (if and when new pepe content is dropped)!

p.s. i hope you also have a lovely lovely day ahead jackie!!

- 🪷

i'm very late but omFG i love you so much? you're crazy good ????? this was such a pleasure to read and watch, thank u sm 😭💗

(ppl cant hate since its about pepe <3<3 sorry not sorry guys)

0:33 and 1:21 – such a gorgeous boy :(( i love him so much :(((( i also don't really understand what's happening at 1:21 but his smile and laughter after makes me melt

3:54 – HE'S SO EMBARRASSED LMAO WHAT A CUTIE ?? he just doesn't stop laughing, and the little blush on his cheeks... the way his voice changes and 😭

9:03 – he's SO attractive and for what? he's not even doing anything?? but the arms around the chair..... and like i'm a knuckle cracker and hand/finger stretcher as well so whenever he does it i just melt bcs i find it so hot :( also him when chris goes "ÖÖÖÖÖÖ" into the mic and then complaining about the music being so loud idK HES JUST SO CUTE DOING PRETTY MUCH NOTHING BYE–

12:38 – casually attractive is a very fitting term for him... how is it possible ???

16:03 – I WANNA SCREAM AND CRY ?????? no his smile is the most adorable thing ever. i rlly wanna make a pepe laughter compilation but then i would never do anything productive ever again....

16:33 – mum mention <3<3 boys who are appreciative of their mothers <3<3<3<3

18:13 – the switchup 😭 and also him emphasizing "so", like "i'm SO sad"....... and also also his laughter after it 😭 and when he does that kind of like chortle thing? like at the back of his mouth thing? idk what it's called in english, someone help????? idk it's adorable anyway

18:37 – my bestie translated for me but i still understood nothing 💔 HE SOUNDS SO CUTE THO like him speaking spanish is always so 💗

19:32 – BABYYYYYYY!!!!! he is the most adorable person ever, im not even kidding

20:15 – oh i'm totally okay, no worries 👍

30:25 – I LOVE THIS i have no knowledge of pokemons (that was an overstatement, i know stuff but i haven't played since i was like 10) but i love that sm, dorky boys >>>>> the way he speaks about them is so cute idc. also him saying that pokemon is a very important thing to him is so 😭

42:19 – i definitely did not clip this the second i first read through this ask.... no but like why was that so attractive 🫠🫠 not fair (also him apologizing for it?? b a b y)

43:05 – IM CRYING I KNOW JUST WHAT U MEAN BUT I CANT FIND IT 😭😭

adorable tho ^^

51:55 – why does he not say more about this?? wth??? can someone fill me in ??????????? (fits very well with something i've written for the college!pepe fic tho 🤭)

53:09 & 1:00:40 – i love chris :(( i love both of their senses of humor omg, and pepe's laugh yet again..... my heart is going crazy

1:02:38 – okay i actually know NO chess, like i know the rules but nothing else. i don't even like it usually, but pepe playing chess........ why is that attractive 🫠🫠 and being able to talk while doing it also? he looks so smart? and even doing speed chess???? waaaaaaah 😭 and chris praising him 🙃 (checkers is so cool tho, i do not know the rules but anytime i watch anyone play it im very impressed)

1:04:32 – not too tall for you 🥰 that makes me very happy 🥰 i used to have a thing for boys the same height as me but not anymore so pepe bby you're definitely not too tall <3<3

1:05:55 – i forget sometimes that drivers like them are around the same age as kimi and would've driven against him in karting lol, like i forget that even pepe and kimi are in the same category rn ?? idk life is just 😵‍💫😵‍💫

1:07:07 – "i'm always going to think you're doing a good job" 🥺 so relatable 🥺 also pepe's grin when he's being praised.......

1:09:40 – oh im alright, thanks for asking 🫡🫡 no issues, my heart definitely isn't going crazy

1:10:58 – oh yes definitely !! as someone who can't even drive a regular car, i still understand very well? and all of the details are so interesting, i love hearing them talk about it. being nerdy about the stuff you like is soooo attractive ??? idk maybe that's just me tho

1:11:37 – nyeoooommmm 🥺 baby

1:12:50 – love love love that, i feel like the two of them are quite often very honest in interviews and such? like when they went on the feeder series pod together, they had no issues criticizing stuff they don't like. and so like the same here, they aren't just saying this because they're friends with gabri i feel, it's just honesty and 🥺 it's very endearing

1:13:38 – that was so random 😭 also funny how he mentioned seb but didn't then think about the fact that seb was there and probs could've ran into her ?? 😭 but yea idk their trio friendship is so endearing idk

1:24:33 – more spanish making me weak in my knees even as im sitting down 😶 aND CUTIE DANCE!!!!!! god he rlly got my thoughts running... like listening to songs in spanish with him and dancing and him singing along and just ??? no i cant take it (ALSO PLS THATS SO CUTE KSDHFFK DANCE W HIM!!!)

1:25:25 – okay so like two days ago when i went to the gym, i was like "ain't no way pepe is gonna beat me in leg press" so i went and did 160kg just out of pure stubbornness 😶 i've never done over like 110 or 120kg but i was determined. however, i did *not* attempt to beat him in bench because i can only do max like 60kg LMAO so nope. but yeah it's definitely insane...... scary in a good way 🥰

1:27:10 – chris is very relatableeeeeeeeeeee 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 gosh

1:38:56 – him driving is so...... also idk why i love the sight of him wearing gloves for the sim AAAAAAA like i know it's not an uncommon thing but still like... idk it's just attractive 😶 and him driving that smoothly and easily while also chatting???? stop it pepe im blushing-

1:50:16 – ......no comment

1:54:55 – prettiest baby boy in the world, i kid you not

2:12:00 – who allowed him to first be the cutest cutie ever and then cross his arms like that, eye-

again tysm!! this stream gave me new hope in life 😭 whenever i feel bad i just go and watch it and...... well yeah 🥺 hope you have a lovely lovely weekend darling!!!! <3<3

[nanaminsonyfans]

╚»★«╝ Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire ╚»★«╝

a/n; the lack of cyberpunk x reader fics is appalling. anyways gay kerry eurodyne for christmas ur welcome. also this is post after giving up johnny specifically the sun ending. sorry of its shitty, i rarely write as a male reader and i hope i did okay! requests are open!!!

pairing: male!reader x kerry eurodyne (cyberpunk)

warnings; anal, male oral receiving, slight exhibition?, cursing, spoilers for end of cyberpunk.

—

The Kerry Eurodyne was making a Christmas album with US Cracks, him being main vocals and the girls being background vocals. You were there as Kerry's loving boyfriend and supporter but also because you had nothing else to do. Being the famous V merc has run its course and after everything with Johnny and Arasaka....you just wanted to be you, Y/n L/n. Of course you still talked to some old friends, Claire being one of them. Truth be told....You missed Johnny. A piece of you was gone.

"Y/n? Babe? You there?" Kerry's voice brought you back. The girls were gone leaving the two of you there. "You having one of those episodes again?" He asks softly, obviously worried. "Oh, no i'm fine. Was just thinking is all. The music was pretty soothing." You joke and stood up. "Was it? Didn't want to put you to sleep." "You didn't. Just started to remind me of stuff." Kerry nods and cupped your cheek. "This past year has been hard for you. I understand." You nod and leaned against his touch. His hands were always so warm.

"I gotta finish some vocals. Go get a drink." He hums softly. You nod, leaving and came back. Kerry was singing, however his vocals sounded almost angelic as he sang The Christmas Song. "Jack nipping at your nose~" He looked at you. He looked at you with those fucking icy blue eyes that just sucked you in every single time. You know what he wants. How'd he get so horny so easily? Sentimental one second...

You stared at him, watching his movement. He swayed his hips as he practically made out with the mic. You felt your jeans tightened as you wanted him until you couldnt take anymore and went in. "You're such a little shit sometimes...." You growl slightly in his ear, griping his hips as you pulled him against your growing bulge. "Yeah...?" Kerry hums, adding more pressure against you. You let out a guttural moan in his ear as he started to grind against you.

"You keep doing that and im going to cum in these fuckin' pants." "We can't have that." He hums and gets down on his knees. "Not when i have a perfectly good face." "Oh youre fucking bad Ker..." You groan as he undid your pants, your cock springing free seconds before he wrapped his mouth around you. His tongue was so soft and warm...and fuck the way he sucked you off was like his life depended in it. He was so eager to please and it was working.

Kerry's eyes were half lidded and staring up at you as if he was trying to be innocent. His hand took over whatever he couldn't reach. Drool slipped down his chin as he continued to suck. "Oh fuck ker...." You thrusted slightly in his mouth causing him to gag but he didnt want you to stop. You continued to face fuck him until you felt yourself getting close.

"Fuck..Fuck ker-" You pulled out and came on his face exactly as he wanted. "Mm...amazing as usual." He smirks and licked the cum up and cleaned himself up. "Now bend over." "Really? Here?" "Yes here its your fault." You tell him annoyed and Kerry did so, happily stripping down to give you a show. "Oh you fucking slut." You slapped his ass as he bent over on the couch in the studio.

You didnt even bother prepping and just thrusted in which earned a high pitched mewl from him. "Oh fuck- dont stop please." He begs and pushed his hips back to match the rhythm of your thrusts. His moans were so whiny it was pitiful, the sadistic side wanted to taunt him about it but another side of you loved his noises. Only you could bring these noises out if him, only you, only your cock.

You let out a few grunts as his ass milked you, and suddenly he let out a loud moan arching his back as you hit his prostate. He loved how the head of cock hit it just right. "Fill me up y/n please, please!" Kerry begs and he started to fist himself. "No one can say no to you." You smirk and started to rail him a few more times before you came together. "Fuuuck!" You groaned as you filled his ass making him whine at the feeling as he made a mess on the couch.

"You made a mess." You tease and kissed him which he happily returned. Out of the corner of you eye you noticed a blinking red light. "Did...did it record all of that?" You ask him and kerry took notice as well. "Yeah...maybe i should put it on the bonus track."

[liauditore]

Pssst if you’re still doing the shipping bingo, how would team rancher/solidaritek fill your bingo board?

OFC. RANCHERSSS ALWAYS AND FOREVER 😭😭

ok but.. real talk i think ranchers is like. my number two "I actually ship this no strings or footnotes attached" ship right after ethubs.

I am usually not one to be moved by ships that are just "they are fun and healthy together and love eachother" but oh GOD the ranchers. See I think the thing is they just.. make sense for eachother even if you don't expect it until the point they realise they're soulmates.

Jimmy's situation has been talked about to hell and back at this point but Tango is also very out of his element in the life series. He says himself that pvp is not his specialty and he doesn't have the time or resources to make his skill set shine. So he ends up either somewhat ignored or outcasted for most of the games. (<-- fyi fun fact this is where the whole 'mech pilot tango' idea came from lol. i feel like he'd have a dva-style mech outside of the life series)

In particular i LOVE his relationship with team BEST and I NEED desperately to talk abt it more. the way he's constantly talked over by his own teammates, intimidated, asked to sacrifice his own lives for their sake, "tango's Easy", etc. etc.

‘Cause inside, nothing’s fine It should be clear to prying eyes But I won’t let the feelings See the light So tell me, why should I even try? I’m frozen away in time

(Koala, Will Stetson)

They both have this habit of hiding their own insecurities behind a facade of boisterousness, but no matter how much either of them puff out their chests and raise their voices, their message of "please take me seriously" never seems to get through.

The Ranchers are just.. two losers against the world. and they inspire confidence within the other that they can't find in themselves. and yes the world forces them apart but you can Feel that influence they've had on one another in the background.

Guess I went and caved I wonder, is there another way? Because I want to believe That one day I’ll be okay So now, I’ll give it another try I can finally see with a clearer mind Even if the bumps in the road Might try to stop me, Still it’ll be alright Keeping it inside Isn’t clearing up the sky So you tighten your hand in mine Following the light like a cute Koala Laughing in stride

Plus I, uh... Unhinged but I have this thing with the life smp where there's this running theme throughout the story about how it doesn't really matter who wins or who dies first.

Because for every epic battle and every tear-jerking death there was fun and laughter and stupid, trivial drama before and in between and those little moments may not be as memorable or written down in history but they're what makes the series enjoyable. Yes, we're all gonna die, but isn't it cool that we laughed with eachother and made dumb jokes and adopted a frog and said "I love you" on the way there?

j-just like real life. life smp. evangelion moment im sorry

Though both of us will die one day Though this life is useless anyway When you’re here by my side, you make me feel like it’ll be okay And yet we laughed despite it all At this life which has no meaning at all Two lonely and broken souls leaning on each other’s sides I’m glad that you’re you, that I’m me, and for us two I’m kinda glad that you’re evil too When the day starts anew, hope I spend it with you I’m glad that I fell in love with you

(I'm Glad You're Evil Too, Rachie/Anthong translyrics)

The Ranchers epitomize that.

They are doomed. They both know this, I think. Neither of them can fight, they're left begging for scraps by session 2, no one on the server takes either of them seriously and they lost a life literally like 10 minutes into the first episode.

But they built a home together, raised livestock, stood up for eachother. and they were happy together.

and isn't that what really matters?

and neither of them are even aware of how much they really meant to the other one. the game ends. tango tells jimmy to go home. go. they certainly don't break up to the extent of Some Other Pairings In This Series but i like to think tango distances himself, thinking jimmy would be happier with his friends and not stuck with him. jimmy thinks the same. but they still wave hi and call eachother rancher and now they're running a salad restaurant together or something i guess.

It's just.. everything that gets the two of them condemned and made fun of in their other relationships is what's Celebrated in theirs. They can just be themselves, mistakes and silliness and imperfections at all, with no pressure to perform amazing feats and make amazing stuff and I think that's great.

um yeah i like ranchers.