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#anyway this isn't even over i have more thoughts
drdemonprince · 3 days
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Hello. Just read your article on asexuality and fetish (was looking through your substack and the title got me curious) and holy shit you have no idea how much it resonated with me. It's something I have been contemplating lately after having some sexual experiences that I found not as much actively unpleasant as just downright boring. I was considering the possibility of asexuality which would have explained nearly everything but for the fact that I do seem to have sexual fantasies even if only involving specific circumstances or scenarios (similar to the thing you mentioned about not needing it to be a specific person: mine always had little to do with actual real life people and more with various characters I would conjure up that would fit the situation) despite having very little attraction to people? I could always tell who would be considered attractive or not and had some general idea of what features I might like over others but none seemed to be mandatory in terms of physical attraction. I really did think I was stuck in some strange sexual purgatory situation and was trying to come up with ways of finding a concrete answer, always with the assumption that it would either be that I am asexual or I am not (due to what I thought was evidence to the contrary), but reading that article was really comforting, knowing that somebody else has that very same experience. Probably going to watch the movie you mentioned in the article while I'm at it too lol. Anyway, much love, hope you have a good day!!
Yeah!! Glad it was helpful to you. As is the case with SO many things, the operative question isn't really "what identity am i" / "is my identity valid/make sense/does it explain what i am accurately" -- the real question is "well, what the hell do I feel like doing?" and there's an endlessss array of possible ways to do sexual or sensual stuff with other people, or to just explore your fantasies. it's all good
I hope you enjoy That Boy with Peter Berlin!!!
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gaylordscooter · 1 day
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You're at the Party
“so you brought mass murderers to my place without warning me beforehand?” Cross said.
“Haha, nice.”
“don't humor them, chara.”
Blue wrung his hands together, opening his mouth to explain only for Ink to cut in.
“Listen, these guys aren't gonna cause any trouble. Besides, I thought this was a place where people could start over.” Ink crossed his arms.
“Two of them killed everyone in their universe? Hm, a Sans killing a bunch of people…Where have I heard that before?” XChara nudged Cross’s arm.
“you know that isn’t the problem here.”
Everyone gave Cross a look as if he was the one that was being unreasonable here.
Cross sighed, “fine, they can stay. but they need to pass a test first.”
Blue narrowed his eyes skeptically. “What kind of test?”
“well, i guess it's more of a favor.”
“Is this what I think it is? You're not sending them there.”
Cross waved away his concern. “it’ll be fine,” he insisted.
“What are we talking about?” Ink questioned.
Blue leaned close to Ink. “He’s totally planning to use them to retrieve his friend.”
“Oh! Hah. Ahahahahaha!” Ink giggled like he told him a joke. His eyelights reflected his amusement as he stared at Cross. “So we’re at this part now, huh?”
Cross looked confused while Blue huffed at his words and XChara looked bored.
Ink clapped his hands together. “Well then~! Have fun with that~!” he said cheerfully.
“I'm sure those tildes have no malice behind it,” Blue deadpanned.
“Oh, when have my tildes ever held malice~?”
Blue opted for putting his hands on his waist rather than gracing that with a reply.
“Anyway, I gotta bounce! I’ll see y’all later. Don't have too much fun without me~!” He painted a hole in the ground and hopped into it while waving goodbye.
“Eugh, he's like a kid that just learned about emoticons,” XChara said.
“you can't even see the tildes,” Cross pointed out.
XChara rolled their eyes. “I don't have to. I can hear it in his voice.”
“Never mind that. Cross, you can't send them there! I’ve already been making a careful plan. To just toss it out the window and replace it with an improvised one isn't a good idea!”
He rolled his eyelights and crossed his arms. “It doesn't need to work, anyway. I don't expect it to.”
Blue’s sockets widened as he gasped. “So you're just,” he gestured wildly, “sending them off to their deaths? Where's your compassion?”
“Where was their compassion when they hurt all those monsters?”
Blue narrowed his eye sockets. “Where's your compassion?” he repeated in a duller tone.
“Don't you have a Mettaton to serve? This isn't your business.” he snapped back.
Blue threw his hands up, “Wow! Sheesh. Fine. Go have fun torturing the prisoners of war.” He stormed off with a frown.
XChara and Cross watched as he walked in a direction that definitely led to nowhere rather than towards the town.
“He has a point,” XChara stated.
“Awful navigation skills is what he has,” Cross spat. He noticed XChara’s unamused face and did a double take. “Do you actually agree with him?”
“Huh! Do I agree with him that you have no right to judge these morally messed up monsters and that sending them to that freak’s place as punishment is completely hypocritical of you?” They stroked their chin and pretended to think about it hard. “Yes, Mr. ‘the reason why our world has become a hotspot for people who messed up like you!’”
“You don't care about them at all. You're just saying that to spite me.”
“I am, thanks for noticing,” they deadpanned.
Cross brought a hand to his face and sighed.
Killer awoke. He wasn't refreshed in the slightest and he nearly panicked over waking up in unfamiliar surroundings if it wasn't for Dust smacking him on the head.
No wait, he was called Dusk now. He even came up with that name for him.
Sheesh, the sudden change is gonna be hard to get used to.
Right. New chapter of his life. Again. Again again, actually.
Ironically, he was starting to get sick of new experiences.
This wasn't a bad change, really. In fact, it was a clear upgrade. Well, that's what he thought back when Nightmare first found him too, so.
He was waiting for the catch. He was ready this time.
There was a knock on the door.
Both of them had the knee-jerk reaction of summoning a blaster angled at the door but then the rational part of their minds took over and they scrambled out of bed to hold their blasters' mouths shut.
“good morning to you guys too,” said the voice behind the door.
They managed to desummon their blasters once they recognized that it was, in fact, Horror that knocked.
There was unmistakable joy on Killer’s face. He didn't say it, but he was convinced Horror was going to avoid them since they got settled in.
He skipped over to the door like a gleeful idiot and opened the door.
Killer was surprised by his getup. It was the first time he's seen him in different clothing. If it wasn't for the red eye in his socket he wouldn't have recognized him.
The first thing he noticed was the cap he was wearing. It was a generic white cap that covered the hole in his head. Other than that, his outfit was the same as any other normal Sans, sans the signature hoodie. He also looked a lot less tired.
“‘sup, h—sans. ‘sup sans,” Killer said, barely catching himself. He couldn't help but still refer to him as “Horror” in his mind, since from the day they met that's what he called him and known him as. But those names were nothing but brands that Nightmare put on him and Dusk. They weren't names that they chose for themselves.
“hey,” he replied with a small wave, mostly aimed at Dusk to acknowledge his presence even though he hadn't approached the door yet. “so…” he trailed off, unsure.
So.
They were in unfamiliar territory now. After a whole year of living with Nightmare, they formed somewhat of a schedule. A loose one, but a schedule nonetheless—mainly built off of the way Nightmare acted. 
With that thrown out the window, every step they took was unfamiliar. Potentially dangerous. Ironic, considering they were in a safer area now. At least they assumed so.
They hoped so.
They would normally eat breakfast at this time, probably. They weren't ever exactly sure what time it was, but that's how it's been their whole life. It felt like it was around that time, at least.
“my bro said there's a bakery here.” Another pause. Okay, he didn't have to make this that awkward. “you two wanna scope the place out with me?”
Killer’s smile perked up at the edges. “hate to say it, that sounded like you just asked us out on a date.”
“‘k, forget i asked.” He made the move to shut the door.
“nah, i’m joking! we’ll go—” he whipped his head to Dusk for verification, who gave him a thumbs up. “—yeah, let's go.”
So they got out of the hotel room. The lobby had a few people, unlike last time.
None of the three really acknowledged anyone there and no one acknowledged them, until some Monster Kid said a mere hello that made them all awkwardly respond; either with a curt head nod, wave, or quiet “hi” back.
Boy, they weren't ready to be perceived by anyone else. How the hell were they going to handle entering a cafe, let alone going outside? Well, Sans managed, so.
Sans was probably the most stable of the three, let's be real. He was the only one who had contact with other people before Nightmare came to them. When it comes to interaction, Killer and Dusk have done nothing but literally talk to themselves for who knows how long.
The second Sans started to open the door, Killer protested, “actually. could you just grab me something instead? i’ll stay in the room.” When he turned to retreat, Dusk grabbed him by the arm.
Dusk gave him a look that spelled “really, coward?”
“i don't think i’m ready, okay? sue me,” he said. He could already feel eyes on him. The stares gnawed away at his bones, trying to eat him alive. 
They knew what he wanted to do.
Dusk sighed, letting go of his arm. “we can't go,” he signed to Sans.
“right…” he sounded disappointed—no that was pity in his voice. He probably didn’t even expect the two to agree in the first place. “anything specific you want?”
“nothin’ with chocolate.”
Dusk shook his head.
“gotcha. i’ll be back in a bit,” he said.
Dusk and Killer watched as he sauntered off to be a normal monster that was a part of society. Then they walked at a breakneck pace back to their room.
Once they were back in the safety of their private room, they collapsed on their beds.
Killer, face buried against his pillow, groaned in frustration. “i hate this. we're safe now and i can't even go outside. do you feel it too, dusk? that tug on your soul?”
He might kill someone if he went outside. It was highly likely.
Of course it wouldn't be that easy to return to a normal life—of course his high LOVE would haunt him. He was too tired yesterday to be bothered by it, but now, any other monster he saw that wasn't Dusk or Sans had his soul screaming for more exp.
“i’m trying to ignore it,” Dusk mumbled.
He laughed. That's not going to work. That is not going to work and they both know it. 
That’s.
That's not going to work.
“it was—it was better when we were stuck with Nightmare. we wouldn't be able to—”
“It wasn’t better,” Dusk interrupted.
“—we’re going to kill someone. we're going to kill someone and it's going to snowball and it'll—hah—it'll be like a snowball of dust!”
He was choking now, on the rotten determination coming out of his skull.
“killer.”
That's what he was, wasn't he? A killer.
“killer!”
That's all he was.
“Killer.”
Oh, someone was holding him by the shoulders. Wow, everything was blurry and stained black. No, that was just the liquid in his sockets. He tilted his head down, letting it flow out until he could see better.
Oh, it was Dusk. Right.
He shuddered out a breath. He realized all his senses had turned off for the past few seconds. When the hell did he get on the floor?
His eyelights finally focused enough to stare back at Dusk. He didn't like the worried look he had on his face. He cleared his throat, trying to play it off, but all that did was make him hack out more rotten determination.
“well…” the sentence died on his teeth the second he started. “i want to go back to sleep,” he settled on saying.
Dusk brought him into a stilted not-quite-a-hug, where he brought him closer and draped his skull over his shoulder.
They just. Stayed there. For a bit.
“another episode…i’m starting a daily streak, really.” Any humor he thought that statement would have was completely absent. God, how fucking pathetic was he? Surely Dusk was struggling with his LOVE just as much as he was but he didn’t fuss about it. He shouldn’t need Dusk’s comfort and Dusk shouldn’t need to comfort him. He was so selfish. So needy.
Killer willed himself to move away from Dusk to lay back down on his bed.
The room was quiet until someone knocked on the door again.
Dusk opted to answer the door since Killer wasn't budging.
Fortunately it was Sans who was at the door but unfortunately, he wasn't alone. Behind him was another skeleton he hadn't seen before.
He wore monochromatic clothing and there were large x’s on his sleeves and boots. He looked a lot younger than all of them. He must've been in his 20’s. His eyelights were a lot bigger than the average sans, with a slitted pupil reminiscent of a cat’s.
Despite the youthful look, one glance was enough to tell Dusk that he had a lot of LOVE too. It wasn’t nearly as much as he or Killer had, but it was more than the amount Sans had.
Dusk glared at the stranger as if he personally wronged him.
Sans didn’t look too happy either with the death grip he had on the bag containing their breakfast.
“hey,” Sans said. He walked in as if everything was fine and normal.
The stranger also tried walking in as if everything was fine and normal.
A wall of bones rose in front of him to block his path.
Killer sat up on the bed, “nope. not dealing with unwelcome company now, thank you.”
The stranger cleared his throat, straightening his posture. “well, i’m actually the organizer of this place. the name’s cross. i’m sure ink told you three about me.”
“i’ve never heard of you in my life,” Killer said.
It was painfully clear that Cross was already annoyed by Killer, despite his attempts to keep his face neutral. “i’ll just get to the point—”
“he’s gonna test us. if we pass, we can stay. if we don’t, we’re getting kicked out,” Sans said. He opened the bag of food and grabbed a pastry for himself before handing it over to Dusk.
Dusk hesitated as he grabbed the bag. He quickly grabbed the first pastry he laid his hand on and turned to Killer.
“we’re getting kicked out?” Killer repeated.
“only if you don’t pass the test,” Cross emphasized.
Killer stood up as the wall of bones went away. He shambled over to him with a misleadingly calm expression. He leaned close to Cross’s head, keeping his hands by his sides. “what’s the test?”
Cross stood his ground, keeping his eyes locked on Killer as if he would attack him if he merely glanced away. “a rescue mission,” he answered with a steady voice despite the tension.
“the blue guy said you weren’t going to torture us,” Killer spat.
“it’s not torture. i have a plan. it should be simple,” Cross insisted.
He narrowed his eye sockets. “so why are you using us as fodder?”
“it’s a test.”
Sans snagged the bag from Dusk and shoved it over to Killer. “no point in complainin’, just roll with it.”
Killer pushed the bag aside. “why are you being so compliant? he’s going to send us to our deaths!”
“because we don’t have a choice,” he sighed. “besides, we’ve gone through hell and back, what’s one more trial?”
Killer caved in and grabbed the bag to fish out a pastry for himself. He took a hefty bite from it specifically to talk with his mouth full, “you gonna leave us alone after we complete this ‘rescue mission’?”
“yeah, just this one thing and you’ll all prove that i can trust you to stay here.”
Killer winced at the word “trust”. He quickly scarfed the rest of the pastry down. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t really blame Cross for putting them through a trial considering that they’re all murderers. Well, he didn’t think Sans should be judged to the same extent as them. He needed to kill all those humans in order to survive.
“why does sans need to go too? his friends and family have already been staying here,” he asked.
Cross looked surprised by his question. Fucker probably didn’t expect him to be considerate. “the plan’s easier with three people, and all three of you worked with nightmare.”
“worked!?” Killer shoved the bag towards Sans and grabbed Cross by his shirt. “we didn’t work with that bastard. he KIDNAPPED us! if you think for one second that we associated with him? oh you got it entirely wrong, asshole! do you think we had fun being his fucking toys?” he snapped.
“killer, let go of him,” Sans said.
“y’know what? fine. i’ll do your stupid test. nothing you put me through will be worse than what he did to us,” he snarled before pushing him away.
Cross fixed the wrinkles Killer made on his clothes. His nonchalant behavior pissed Killer off even more.
He was lucky he actually listened to Sans.
“sorry, i wasn’t aware of that,” he said quietly.
Killer calmed down only slightly at the apology. He crossed his arms and scoffed, “you better be.”
Cross waited for them to finish eating breakfast before he went over the plan.
As he talked more, the three were even less psyched about doing this.
They were going to disguise themselves and then enter the place through a portal made by Ink. The first part of the plan was finding the right monster. Cross handed them an image for reference. They collectively sighed when they saw it was yet another Sans. If he wasn't wearing the same outfit it would be hard to find him, that's not to mention that Cross said the place they were infiltrating was a packed warehouse.
The second part of the plan was actually leaving the place. Which was supposedly the easier part of the plan because Ink will arrive and make another portal once they find the monster.
All in all, this just sounded like some dumb hidden object game rather than a rescue mission.
Ink arrived at the room shortly after Cross finished explaining. He came in holding a pile of clothes, their disguises.
Said clothes were all campy and flashy.
“in what world,” Sans held up a sequin jacket that had colors that could blind hawks, “are these disguises?”
“Well you're going to a party! A rave, specifically,” Ink explained.
Killer snatched a red leather jacket and bell bottom jeans from the pile. “all of these shirts suck, i’m gonna change.” He went over to the bathroom with the articles in hand.
“Oh yeah!” Ink snapped his hand. He reached into the pockets of his pants and took out three pairs of sunglasses, each were different shapes. “Almost forgot the most important part.”
“glasses,” Sans remarked.
Dusk and Sans exchanged glances with each other.
“it's really bright there,” Cross explained.
“in a warehouse?”
“trust me, the strobe lights could probably blind you otherwise.”
Sans narrowed his sockets.
Killer finished changing and waltzed out of the bathroom, flaunting his gaudy outfit.
“no shirt?” Sans remarked.
“i said they all suck.”
“surely you could just wear the shirt you already had on.”
“actually,” Cross butted in, “after you three get back we’re burning those clothes immediately. so probably don't wear anything that's actually yours.”
“and why are you doing that?”
“Cooties,” Ink deadpanned.
Cross frowned at him.
“Anyways, take a pair. Whatever you do, do not take them off.” Ink held out the shades with a wink.
Killer opted for the triangular ones while Dusk grabbed the rectangular ones and Sans got the circular ones.
Then Dusk and Sans grabbed whatever clothing, tossing any attempts to make a cohesive outfit out the window, and took turns changing in the bathroom.
Finally, Cross looked over the three, determining if their disguises were good to go. Dusk and Sans’s fits were horrible. That neon fluffy bucket hat that Sans wore was definitely not comfortable. At least Killer had a cohesive outfit.
He spent a second longer looking at Killer's sunglasses. He leaned close to Ink. “it doesn't cover his sockets fully,” he whispered.
“It’ll be fiiine,” Ink assured. He clasped his hands together. “Okay! You're all ready to go. Don't forget, you're looking for Epic, the most notable feature is the scar on his eye socket. Keep your distance from other partygoers and do not take off those shades.” His scarf swept at the floor underneath the three, creating holes that lead to their destination.
The three could barely see Ink waving goodbye as they fell.
The landing wasn't bad, all of them landed on their feet just fine, but the change in atmosphere gave them whiplash. While it was dark as night, strobe lights flashed and lit up the place erratically.
Oh god the music.
Eurodance from the 90’s was blasting with bass heavy enough to shake the building.
Oh god, the amount of monsters.
They were also dressed in gaudy outfits, which explained why their disguises were like that.
“cool. all we need to do is find whoever the hell ‘epic’ is. should we split?” Killer asked.
“oh god no,” Sans said.
Dusk grabbed them by their shoulders to drag them around and start their search.
“they're all wearing glasses too, didn't they say a scar on the socket is how we can differentiate him?” Sans said.
Killer groaned, “this is gonna take forever! we should just ask around or something.”
“you suddenly in the mood for social interaction?”
“this sensory nightmare’s making me feel like i’m floating out of my body, i just want to get this over with.” Killer approached one of the partygoers. “hey, y’know where a skeleton called epic is?”
He was completely ignored.
“cool. awesome. if we don't split up this’ll literally take forever, peace.” Killer walked off without waiting for the other two’s input.
Dusk and Sans watched as he got lost in the crowd in a whopping five seconds.
Dusk face palmed.
“maybe…maybe we can ask the dj? then they'll put out an announcement, or something,” Sans said.
“not that simple,” Dusk signed. He spelled out “fishy”.
“would it hurt to try?”
Dusk frantically shook his fist in a “yes.”
“eh, don't be a downer. where is the dj, anyway?” He looked around, fortunately most of the monsters here were around the same height as him so his view wasn't too obstructed. “yeesh, this place is big.”
The strobe lights flickered more as they all started moving to one point. The lights shone on the DJ station, the DJ themself was still shrouded in darkness. The sound of scratching discs filled the building as the music quieted down. “HOW WE FEELIN’ BROSEPHS ‘N JOESEPHS!?”
A mechanical roar of cheers rang out among the crowd.
They recognized that voice. They most definitely recognized that voice.
Dusk grabbed Sans by the arm.
“okay,” Sans breathed, “that's fine. maybe, no one knows his deal. we can just. leave the building.”
Dusk tugged at Sans, pointing furiously at the ground.
It was hard to notice due to how dark and packed it is, but on the ground were several piles of dust.
“hm. nice knowing ya.”
“You party animals havin’ fun?! I know I am, yo!” The unmistakable sound of Fresh’s voice boomed throughout the warehouse. The lights finally shone on him. He looked exactly the same as the first time they saw him. He was spinning. a disc on his finger. “I just gots some totes rad news before we continue on with gettin’ jiggy.”
The colored lights moved over to his side, revealing a stage that was hidden in the darkness, and on the stage was Killer. He looked confused, as if he didn't even know how he got up there.
Sans nearly swore but Dusk slapped a hand over his mouth.
When he caught sight of Fresh he stood frozen like a deer caught in headlights.
“Any bros know this fool?” Fresh asked. He put the disk back on the turntable and scratched his chin. “I don't. Did we invite him?” His bemusement barely masked his elation at having prey he didn't have to catch.
Killer didn't know what to do. He looked down at the crowd. The sunglasses they wore were originally all blank but the familiar “YOLO” text was on them now.
Running definitely wasn't going to help.
“Eh no biggie. I’ll give him a proper introduction to this rad party.” Fresh turned the music back on.
Killer internally swore at Cross, cursing his entire life. He was going to die and it was going to be to the fucking tune of a stupid 90’s song about sex. Well he wasn't going down without a fight.
He summoned a blaster aimed at Fresh and fired.
Only for one of the partygoers to leap into the blast to block it.
Killer watched in horror as he dusted that monster. The familiar rush of exp hit him like a truck, he couldn't help but fall to his knees.
“oh god,” Sans muttered from the crowd.
The three were completely powerless in this situation. This wasn't a fucking test. They were sent to their deaths.
What a sick joke.
“Oh snap! Well, you're just gonna hafta replace that now, aren't ya?” Fresh disappeared with a poof, promptly reappearing behind Killer.
Killer quickly pushed himself up and backed away from him.
Fresh didn't even follow him, the stage wasn't that big anyway.
He reached the edge of the stage, back to the crowd. Only Fresh could see the fear on his face.
Some of the crowd climbed on stage to grab his ankles, anchoring him down.
 He was hyperventilating, he was overwhelmed, he felt nothing at all.
He felt nothing at all.
Dusk and Sans went as far as they could away from the stage. They eventually reached a wall. Sans leaned against it in defeat while Dusk banged his skull against it.
Sans winced at the loud thud.
They could vaguely see the stage from here. Killer was gone and Fresh returned to his station.
The party continued on like nothing happened.
“so. do you think you’ll end up back in your universe after, or.”
Dusk huffed.
“right.” Dumb question.
They just stood there against the wall watching the neverending party. They questioned if this was hell or purgatory. No, this was definitely hell.
“ey, i finally found you guys.” It was Killer.
Dusk and Sans tensed.
His soul was a shape they’ve never seen it be before. It was in the shape of a flower.
“chillax, i’m not gonna do anything,” he said. His cadence was off. “you two have just been standing there all gloomy…” He put a hand on the wall just above Dusk’s shoulder. “why don’t you come join the fun?”
With how close he was, Dusk was able to see the parasitic flower in the small sliver of his sockets that wasn't covered by the triangular shades.
Killer leaned closer to his face. “c’mon, i’m getting lonely.”
Sans socked him in the face.
Dusk flinched back in surprise as Killer fell to the ground from the impact.
Sans shook the pain off his hand. “i think we're good.”
Dusk knelt down by Killer. He took his shades off and immediately plunged his hand into the socket containing the flower.
“uh—” Sans reached a hand out but was interrupted by Killer’s lucid screaming.
The nearby skeletons slowed their dancing, turning over to the interruption.
With one last quick yank, the flower snapped off. Dusk dropped it and stamped his foot on it repeatedly.
Killer gasped for air and keened in pain. Then he passed out.
Dusk blinked in shock.
Sans cringed, “think you went a bit overboard.”
“you were the one who punched him!” Dusk blurted stupidly.
“yup, and you committed malpractice.”
The music came to a halt with a dramatic record scratch.
The lights landed on the three.
“Yo, dudes. Quit harshin’ the vibe,” Fresh scoffed into the mic.
Dusk rolled his eyelights and picked Killer up, draping him over his shoulder.
They were surrounded now, by the skeletons under his control.
Dusk summoned multiple blasters overhead, ready to fire if any of them stepped closer.
“Yeesh! You three weren't even invited! What's the dealio? That scummy octo brought you here to rustle my jimmies or something?”
That. Wasn't even 90’s lingo.
There was some feedback coming from the mic. “That thing’s not comin’ here for real, actually, right?” For once he sounded unsure.
Was he actually threatened by Nightmare?
They had to roll with the lie. They could survive this. They just had to convince him he was coming.
Sans put a hand on Dusk’s shoulder. “nah yeah, he won't have to intervene as long as we get what he needs.”
“Bogus! Whaddaheck would that dillweed need?”
Sans pulled out the image of Epic from his pocket and showed it to the nearest partygoer. “we just need this guy, and we'll be outta your hair.”
“Oooh, yeah, I get what you're layin’ down.”
Said nearest partygoer grabbed Sans’s wrist.
“You're fibbin’.”
Welp.
Dusk was just about to fire the blasters on standby, only for a cluster of bones to sprout from the ceiling and stab through the giant skulls.
Dusk grumbled. He adjusted his grip on Killer so that he didn't drop him.
“you're kinda grabbing his butt,” Sans pointed out.
“we’ve done worse.”
“go back to not talking.”
“Aight. So y’all come on in uninvited and interrupt my bodacious party? S’all good. I’ll let you dudes bounce…not!” Fresh yelled into the mic. “I’m gonna enjoy taking y’all over. You're not worming your way out this time.”
Right as his sentence ended, it was disproved. A portal opened. It was like the light at the end of the tunnel.
That portal looked similar to the ones Nightmare made, actually.
“Ah, nah, what’s the dealio?”
But instead of the guardian of negativity arriving, a huge wave of tiny not-quite-skeletons poured in like a flood.
“what,” Dusk and Sans said in unison as absolute chaos unfolded in the warehouse.
These “not-quite-skeletons” acted more like hyperactive temmies. Their giant skulls were bigger than the rest of their body making them look more like aliens than anything. They all wore bandanas that matched the color of their huge star eyelights. They bounded around the place causing total anarchy.
Fresh among others were trampled by these small menaces. Some were simply dancing to the music while others were actively jumping some of the partygoers. They swore they even saw one playing with a pile of dust.
And all of this was happening while “We Like to Party!” by the Vengaboys was playing.
A second portal opened up behind them. They didn't even get to process this before someone yanked them through.
They both landed on their backs. Killer peacefully laid atop Dusk, still managing to sleep through that all. Hopefully he wasn't in a coma.
Dusk and Sans looked at each other, unsure if they were both already dead or if what they saw was all real.
Certainly one hell of a deus ex machina, but with all the shit they’ve gone through they might as well accept it with open arms.
It was Blue that stood over them, looking utterly concerned. “oh my GOD, you three almost died! well, you would’ve been under fresh’s control for whoever knows how long and then you would collapse from exhaustion and then die, but still,” he rambled. He put a hand on his face. “If my plan didn't work…well! Glad it did! Even if it wasn't the one I initially had,” he sighed in relief. “I’m SO sorry you guys went through that! I told Cross not to do it but, ARGH, no one listens to me!” He stomped his foot, it reminded them of Papyrus.
Another portal appeared next to him and two skeletons walked out. One was dressed like they just walked out of an anime convention and the other was clearly a skeleton from Fresh’s party.
“Thank you so much Dream,” Blue said.
Dream?
The two looked closely at him. There was a star made out of magic floating by his forehead. It reminded them of the crescent moon that rested near Nightmare's forehead. He was the one that created the portals similar to him too.
“you're his brother,” Sans said.
“Hm? Brother? I don’t…”
“They already know he's your brother, Dream,” Blue interrupted.
Dream darted his eyelights away guiltily. “I promise you, I’m not like him at all. I’m so sorry he held you all captive for a year! It must've been horrible.”
Dusk and Sans didn't really care about the needless pity. Both of them had one thing on their mind and it was punching the living daylights out of Cross.
“Right…” Blue said awkwardly. “Anyway, Dream, please tend to Epic, I’ll take these guys from here.”
Dream nodded and teleported himself and the other skeleton, who was apparently Epic, off to someplace else.
Blue stared down at the three who hadn't budged at all. “So, do you guys need help getting up, or.”
“i’m staying down here, thanks,” Sans said.
“Is Killer knocked out, or sleeping?”
“he's been out cold ever since Dusk ripped off the flower in his socket.”
Blue smacked the side of his skull, looking distraught. He looked around the place—they just realized they were in someone's living room—and told them to stay there before bolting off to another room.
Sans turned his attention to Killer and Dusk. “are you just gonna have him lay on top of you the whole time?”
Dusk shrugged. Honestly he was kind of comfortable like this. Killer was like a weighted blanket.
Sans finally got up from the floor, stretching his back with a groan. He stumbled over to the couch nearby and flopped onto it. He massaged his face. “god, i don't want to do anything ever again.”
Dusk hummed in agreement.
Blue came back shortly after with a stash of snacks. He dumped them onto the coffee table in front of the couch. “I got some snacks so you guys can replenish your energy. Do any of you know healing magic?”
Dusk nodded.
Blue walked over to him, leaning down to pick up Killer off of him only for Dusk to slap his hand away. “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were stuck,” he said, embarrassed.
Dusk sat up, holding Killer in his arms. He carefully put his hand over his soul and started healing it.
“you're not even going to eat first—Okay, that's fine.” Blue looked away from the poor medical practice. He waited a moment. “Okay, you're not supposed to keep going until he wakes up, you're gonna overload his soul with magic.”
Dusk rolled his eyelights and drew his hand away.
“He should wake up in a few minutes. In the meantime,” he grabbed something off the table and threw it at him, “eat something!”
The packaged snack bumped his head and fell to the floor sadly.
Dusk laid Killer down, having his head rest on his legs so that he could pick up the snack and eat it.
Blue turned to Sans. “You should eat something too.”
Sans glanced at the food on the table, then back at Blue. “why are you helping us?” he asked.
Blue looked disheartened by his suspicion. He fidgeted with his hands. “because i want to. And why wouldn't I? Everyone deserves help!”
“real naive of you to say.”
Blue’s expression hardened. “Fine, maybe it’s more than that. Maybe I want to feel like I’m worth something by helping people out. Maybe I’m sick of people dying when I could’ve done something. Maybe I’m guilty, so I help assholes like you in order to cope! Is that a selfish enough answer for you?”
Sans grabbed something off the table to eat. “sure.”
Blue sighed, crossing his arms. “good.”
They sat in silence as the two ate a bit. After a few uncomfortable minutes, Killer finally woke up.
He rolled off of Dusk. He immediately fired a round of questions, “everything hurts. why’s it so dark. where am i?”
“The lights are on?” Blue said.
“who the hell are you?”
“i think you blinded him, dude,” Sans said.
“what?!” Killer shouted.
“He shouldn’t be permanently blinded, he just needs to eat!” Blue assured. “Carelessly yanking out Fresh’s flower temporarily blinds the victim because it injures the orbit, and any injury to that area causes temporary blindness as our magic prioritizes healing it over being able to see.”
“oh, you’re the nerd that gave us food yesterday.”
“i’m the huh?” Blue mumbled. He shook off the insult and grabbed some packaged crackers off the table to give to Killer. “Anyway, we’re not at the hub right now. You guys are gonna crash at my place, which is here, until I give Cross a talk.”
Killer gnawed on the crackers without removing the wrapper, until Dusk snatched it from him to properly open it and hand it back to him. 
Killer poured the crumbs into his mouth, a good amount of it missed and landed on the floor which Blue decided to ignore.
After blinking a few times, Killer was able to see again. “where is ‘here’?”
“I don’t really have time to explain what this place is but uh, I suggest not going outside because you might end up in a different universe,” Blue said casually. “I shouldn’t be gone for too long, but in case I am, you guys are free to raid the kitchen, watch some tv, etc—Oh yeah! I also have a book containing all my notes on the multiverse if you wanna read it. Since you three are outcodes now it’ll be useful to know about some of the threats and important areas in the multiverse.”
The three of them looked at him like he was speaking a different language.
He coughed into his hand and pulled the book out from his inventory to set it on the coffee table. He awkwardly waved goodbye which got no responses and left the house.
“that guy’s too nice,” Killer remarked. “how hasn’t he died?”
“my guess is dumb luck or he’s hiding something.” Sans sat up on the couch, looking curiously at the book, which was actually just some spiral bound notebook. He picked it up, might as well read it to pass the time.
Killer stood up, stumbling a bit as he waited for the vertigo to pass. “i’m gonna snoop around,” he announced.
“have fun with that.”
While Killer wandered off and Sans read, Dusk went over to the fridge.
Sans flipped through the pages of the notebook, skimming over the titles of various names of people and places. He paused when he saw Nightmare’s name.
“dusk, get over here!”
Dusk walked over with no haste at all. He was holding two glasses, and was currently drinking out of one. He held out the other to Sans.
Sans looked up from the book to see the concoction he was giving him. It was nearly the same as all the past times Dusk made the mistake of playing bartender. Except this time…”did you add crushed chips? that thing has at least four different textures in it now.”
Dusk shrugged.
Killer walked back in the room, looking very dissatisfied. He wasn’t able to find anything interesting or any skeletons in the closet. His sights immediately landed on the drinks. “what the fuck is that?” he chuckled.
“nah, killer this ain’t for you.” Sans took the second drink from Dusk’s hand.
“aw, what?”
“anyway,” he took a sip, “this guy has notes about nightmare.”
Killer walked around the table and sat next to Sans. “woah, that's crazy.” He leaned closer at the book, but quickly switched his target to the drink.
Unfortunately, Sans was quick enough to move the drink away before he could take a sip.
Killer grumbled disappointedly and looked back at the book, actually reading the page this time. “i mean, we already know all of this, i don't see how this is…” he trailed off as he got halfway through the page. “huh. he’s had quite the history.”
“whaddya think being ‘the guardian of negativity’ means?”
“does it matter? we hate him. end of story.”
Sans eyed the line that said Nightmare couldn't feel positive emotions. If that was true, that explained a lot of things, but did that change anything? Not really. “yeah, i guess it doesn't.”
Once he was back at the hub, Blue hunted down Cross. His angry speech died on his metaphorical tongue the second he saw him and Epic having a reunion. He stopped in his tracks and watched them from a distance.
Ink appeared by his side, also watching the two. “Ah, a happy ending.” “It was completely unnecessary for any of this to happen and you know it,” Blue said sternly.
Ink pouted. “Aw, are you mad at me? It wasn’t my idea to send those three to their deaths.”
Blue scowled at him. “But it’s your fault Fresh kidnapped Epic in the first place.” Ink looked dumbfounded and then guilty, like a dog that was caught doing something it shouldn’t. “You’re getting too good at reading me…” he sighed. “How long did you know?”
“The second we found out it was Fresh that took Epic I immediately knew it was you,” Blue deadpanned. There were only a few people who could’ve let Fresh into the place, and only one person who would’ve. Besides, ever since Cross rescued Epic from his scripted death, Ink would glare at him like he personally wronged him.
“Aw,” Ink gave him a hug, “and you didn’t tell anyone?” He didn’t just not tell anyone he also covered for him. There was a reason Cross didn’t know he did it. “There wasn’t any point to.” “And you wouldn’t rat out your best friend!”
Blue flicked his cheek bone. “Sure,” he said sarcastically. He ended the hug with Ink with a gentle shove. “Those three are probably gonna try to kill Cross though. I’m making that your responsibility.”
Ink giggled at the idea of the three hunting down Cross. “Eh, he can handle that on his own.”
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rpg-elf-girl · 1 day
Text
I have a lot of thoughts right now about the latest episode (14)
Here's your warning to watch the episode before reading the post:
Okay okay okay
So I went back and watched the sequence of the whole Ace body discovery to try and see if there's anything there after the whole tape debacle this episode.
Here's a little recap of what happened for reference (episode 6 ~ timestamp: 18:36-21:55) :
-Teruko and Eden go to the workout room and see Nico over Ace, They run off
The tape is clearly by Aces feet here and remains there for some time
-The girls have a talk about the situation, Eden freaking out, and Teruko suspects Nico
-Teruko starts investigating, & Eden says she needs to process what just happened, Teruko tells her to sit down and not to touch stuff
-Teruko does her investigation she points out the tape here
-Eden comes over and offers to help after a little bit of this
-Teruko starts to investigate Aces body
-Ace gets up screaming and knocks Eden down
(it's about here the tape dissappeard)
-Eden gets up, surprisee Ace is alive
-after some more screaming Ace bolts out of the room and after Nico
-MonoTV promptly kicks everyone out
Okay, so I have some thoughts about all this. Character and story wise I have a hard time believing Eden did this but I don't think it's possible for Ace to have stolen the tape or mimicked the crime.
I can get behind him killing motive wise, but not with the method presented here.
The mans been scared to death since the start, got even more paranoid after the first case, literally everyone shits on him, he overheard Teruko saying he'd probably die, theres Veronikas whole disection of him in the cafeteria fight scene, and now he's nearly been murdered. So him getting paranoid and desperate isn't too far off. Also, him having nothing to do with Arei would be a good cover for him, so I don'treally count that as a defense of him.
That being said according to Nico, he woke up mid murder and fell unconscious again. How much of the method could Ace have possibly seen? Also, something that strikes me as odd is something in this image:
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Ace's hands are covered in blood, so even if he theoretically grabbed the tape, wouldn't there also be blood on it? How would he hide it when using it for Arei's Murder?
Also the minute he woke up he was the center of attention, so I highly doubt he would even have time to properly hide the tape from both Teruko and Eden, or that he'd even be thinking of that the second he wakes up from nearly dying.
So because of all that, I don't think it's possible for him to be the killer here.
Opportunity wise, Eden has the most chance at staying undetected, seeing as she was on the floor around when the tape disappeared. She also had the opportunity when she was resting to observe the crime scene so she could more easily figure out and mimic the murder method.
That being said, Eden as a killer confuses me so freaking much, I feel there has to be some curveball here????? Like she'd have to have a pretty clear head directly after seeing a whole ass body so?????
I get Arei said she's likely not as innocent as she appears, but this feels like a bit much. Unless she's being blackmailed leading to some traitor reveal? It's really hard to say.
Anyway, that's my two cents here.
The two people I thought would least likely be the killer are the two main suspects, and now my brain is soup.
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chrzzboo · 2 days
Note
are ur requests open??? (if not don’t respond to this lol)
but if they r, could you do kind of an angst fic. Like maybe pedri and reader are twins (maybe a small ferran x reader???🤭) where like readers on barca F and they win Liga f and reader rly hopes for pedri to be there and when he’s not they have like a huge arguement and stuff and ferran comforts her?
Broken promises
Summary: after the reader wins her first ever Liga she couldn’t help but be over the moon. Expected to celebrate her win with her twin brother Pedri took an unexpected turn.
Note: hi hey yeah hello, I’m back from the death. I had a very busy period but everything has slowed down a bit so, here I’m with a new fic. I hope you guys enjoy it!!!
Reader x Pedri (siblings) Ferran x reader
Genre: Fluff/angst
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Y/N and the rest of the Barca Feminine team celebrated on the pitch, victorious after winning the Liga F. The crowd cheered and chanted, ecstatic for the team's achievement. Y/N should have felt the same, but there was something missing – Pedri, her twin brother, was nowhere to be seen. Disappointed, Y/N's happiness turned to mild irritation.
She thought, "Of all days, why isn't he here?"
Pedri had promised to be there to celebrate Y/N's victory. He even had a perfect seat, but as usual, he couldn't keep his word. He was always too occupied with his own team and career.
Pedri sat on the team bus, exhausted and frustrated as the team got ready to leave. He knew Y/N would be upset, but he couldn't help it. He tried to shake off the guilt, reasoning with himself, "I'll apologize later. She'll understand. She always does."
Y/N had no idea why she even expected Pedri to show up. He had failed her countless times before, but she always got her hopes up anyway. She looked around the celebrating team, trying to enjoy the moment. Suddenly, Ferran approached her, apparently he didn't join the rest of the team on the bus. A warm smile on his face.
"Hey, congratulations!" he said, his voice filled with genuine excitement.
Y/N forced a smile, trying to hide her disappointment. "Thanks," she replied, her voice a bit strained. Ferran noticed the hint of sadness in her eyes. "You okay?" he asked, his expression turning inquisitive.
Ferran frowned, noticing Pedri nowhere, clearly not impressed with Pedri's absence. "Seriously? Again?" he commented, shaking his head disapprovingly. "He promised he'd be here, right?"
Y/N nodded, the disappointment returning stronger. "Yes, he did. But, well, here we are," she said with a shrug, trying to play it off. She didn't want to dwell on it, especially not in front of Ferran.
Ferran could tell that Y/N was trying to hide her frustration, but he knew her well enough to see through it. "Hey, don't worry about it. I mean, you guys won, that's awesome," he said, his eyes sparkling with admiration.
"Yeah, you're right," Y/N agreed, a slight smile appearing on her face. She appreciated Ferran's attempt to cheer her up. He had a knack for making her feel better, even in the midst of her disappointment. "You were amazing out there by the way," Ferran added, giving her a friendly nudge. His compliment caught her off guard, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
"Oh, thanks, I... uh, I just did my best," Y/N stuttered, a bit taken aback by his compliment. She wasn't used to being praised, especially not by a player from the main team.
Ferran chuckled at her reaction, clearly enjoying her blush. "Don't be modest," he teased. "You led your team to victory. That's nothing to brush off."
Y/N's heartbeat quickened as she looked at Ferran. He always had this effect on her, making her heart race and her stomach flutter. She tried to downplay it, but she couldn't deny the undeniable attraction she felt towards him.
As they continued talking, Y/N found herself feeling more at ease. Ferran's easygoing nature and kind words made her forget, albeit temporarily, about Pedri's absence. However, the thought of her twin brother still nagged at the back of her mind.
Just then, the team bus started pulling away from the stadium. Y/N noticed the vehicle as it rolled past them, her disappointment returning with a sharp pang. Pedri was there.
"Looks like he's on his way," she muttered sarcastically, but loud enough for Ferran to hear.
"Huh," Ferran said, glancing at the moving bus. He then turned back to Y/N, the concern obvious in his eyes. "Are you gonna confront him?" he asked, his voice gentle yet worried.
Y/N sighed, a mixture of frustration and fatigue taking over. "Honestly, I don't know," she admitted. "I want to talk to him, but I'm tired of all the arguing. We've been through this countless times before. I just... I don't know if it's worth it."
Ferran placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, his touch warm and reassuring. "You know," he began, "Pedri can be a bit... self-absorbed at times. He gets so wrapped up in his own world that he forgets about the people around him."
Y/N nodded in agreement, appreciating Ferran's understanding. "Yeah, I know," she replied, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "It just feels like he doesn't care. He keeps breaking his promises, and I... I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Ferran's expression softened as he saw the hurt in Y/N's eyes. "I get it," he said softly. "But maybe you should talk to him. You two are siblings, after all. You don't want this to create a rift between you guys, right?"
Y/N let out a deep sigh, leaning back against the wall behind her. "I know I should," she admitted, her voice tinged with resignation. "But it's just so exhausting. Every time I bring it up, it turns into a full-blown argument. I'm tired of constantly reminding him about his promises, you know?"
Ferran nodded, understanding her frustration but still urging her to address the issue. "I get it, but sometimes, uncomfortable conversations are necessary," he advised. "If you don't talk to him, this resentment will build and eventually boil over. It's not healthy for either of you."
Y/N knew Ferran was right, but she didn't want to face the confrontation. She knew it would end in a fight, and she just didn't have the energy for it right now. "You're right," she acquiesced with a sigh. "But I can't deal with this tonight. I'm mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. I need some time to cool down first."
Ferran smiled sympathetically, recognizing her need for space. "That's fair," he said reassuringly. "You don't have to confront him right now. Give yourself some time to rest and gather your thoughts. But don't let this fester, okay? Promise me you'll talk to him soon."
Y/N nodded, appreciation for Ferran's understanding evident in her eyes. "I will," she assured him. "I promise I'll talk to him. Just... not tonight. I need some time to calm down first."
Ferran smiled, satisfied with her promise. He knew Y/N was stubborn, but he also knew she would keep her word. "Good," he replied with a nod. "You don't want this to become a long-term problem. The sooner you and Pedri talk about this, the better."
Y/N managed a small smile, touched by his concern. "Thanks, Ferran," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "I appreciate you listening and giving me some perspective. It's nice to have someone to talk to."
Ferran shrugged nonchalantly, his usual easy smile on his face. "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" he replied, the casualness of his tone only somewhat hiding the warmth in his gaze.
Y/N couldn't help but feel a flutter in her chest at his words. The way he looked at her, with such a gentle, caring expression, stirred something in her that she'd been trying to ignore for a long time.
"Yeah, friends," she muttered, her voice a bit shaky. She quickly looked down, hoping that Ferran didn't notice her momentary weakness.
But Ferran did notice. He saw the way her eyes darted down, the way her cheeks reddened ever so slightly. He knew Y/N better than she realized, and he could tell that his words had an effect on her, despite her attempts to hide it.
However, he chose not to point it out, instead maintaining his casual demeanor. "You know, you did great out there today," he said, changing the subject. "You were like a lioness on that field."
Y/N's heart still pounded from his previous statement, but she managed to regain her composure. "Oh, thanks," she replied, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "It was a team effort, you know. We wouldn't have won without everyone's hard work."
"True, but you were the MVP," Ferran teased, nudging her playfully. "You scored the winning goal, after all."
Y/N blushed at his compliment, still not used to such attention. "I was just in the right place at the right time," she insisted, trying to downplay her achievement.
Ferran chuckled at her modesty, finding it endearing. "Oh, come on. Don't be so humble. You had that goal in you. The way you positioned yourself, timed your shot... it was all skill."
He shifted slightly closer to her, his gaze fixed intently on her.
Y/N felt her heart race faster as he moved closer. The way he looked at her, with that intense gaze and warm smile, made her stomach flutter. She tried to ignore the effect he had on her, but it was getting increasingly harder to do so. "I... I guess I got lucky," she muttered, her voice betraying her nervousness.
Ferran shook his head, his smile becoming more wolfish. "No, it wasn't luck," he insisted, his voice lowering just a tad. "It was talent. You have a real gift, you know that?"
Y/N swallowed hard, her heart now jumping in her throat. His words, his proximity, the way he was looking at her... It was all too much. "You're just saying that," she muttered, unable to meet his gaze.
Ferran chuckled softly, amused by her reaction. He inched even closer, his breath now warm on her cheek as he spoke. "No, I'm not just saying that," he murmured, his voice a low timbre that sent shivers down her spine. "You underestimate yourself."
Y/N's breath hitched in her throat as he closed the remaining distance between them. His proximity was intoxicating, and she found it hard to form a coherent thought. "I... I don't know what to say," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.
Ferran's smile widened at her flustered state. He found great pleasure in seeing her usual composed demeanor crumble because of him. He leaned in even closer, his words but a breath against her ear. "You don't have to say anything," he whispered back. "Just take the compliment."
Y/N shivered at the feel of his breath on her skin. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, her pulse racing. She couldn't recall ever feeling this way because of someone's presence. It was overwhelming yet thrilling at the same time.
"Ferran," she began, her voice barely above a whisper. "I... I..."
Ferran pulled back just enough to look at her, his gaze now holding a mixture of heat and curiosity. "Yeah?" he prompted, his voice laced with a subtle hint of challenge. He wanted to hear what she was struggling to say, even though he had a feeling he already knew.
Y/N swallowed hard, gathering her courage. She looked into Ferran's eyes, her own filled with a mixture of confusion and... something else. Something she wasn't quite ready to acknowledge. "I... I don't know," she repeated, the words getting tangled in her throat. "I can't think straight when you're so close."
Ferran's smile grew. He knew he was affecting her, and it made his heart race. "Maybe that's the point," he teased, his eyes glinting with a hint of mischief. He took another half-step closer, reducing the space between them to mere inches.
Y/N's breath was coming in short gasps now, her chest rising and falling with each labored inhale. She could feel the heat radiating off of Ferran, the air between them charged with an electric tension. "You're such a tease," she managed to say, her voice hoarse.
"And you love it," Ferran shot back, his tone filled with a mix of confidence and playfulness. He reached out his hand, gently tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. His touch sent tingles down her spine, and she unconsciously leaned into his touch.
Y/N closed her eyes, a small sigh escaping her lips at his touch. The way he could stir her emotions with just a simple gesture was dizzying. She knew she should step back, maintain some distance, but her body refused to cooperate. Instead, she found herself drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. The thought of confronting Pedri long forgotten.
"You're not the only one affected, you know," Ferran murmured, his voice lowered to a husky whisper. His fingers traced a light path along her jawline, trailing down to the base of her neck. "You're driving me crazy right now."
Y/N's eyes shot open, her breath catching in her chest. His words, coupled with his soft touch, felt like molten fire running through her veins. She was struggling to keep a hold on her sanity, her control slipping further and further. "You're not playing fair," she breathed, her voice betraying her growing desire.
"When have I ever played fair?" Ferran asked, a sly grin on his lips. His fingers continued their feather-light caress, moving now to her collarbone. He knew he was pushing her boundaries, testing her limits, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted her, and he was enjoying every shiver, every hitched breath he pulled from her.
In a swift, almost desperate move, Y/N closed the remaining distance between them, her body pressing tightly against his. Her hands found their way to his chest, gripping his shirt as if anchoring herself to reality. Ferran responded in kind, his arms encircling her waist, pulling her closer, tighter.
Their lips met, and it was like a shock to the system. The kiss was fierce and hungry, a clash of lips, teeth, and tongue. Y/N surrendered to the sensation, her inhibitions slipping away like waves on shore. Her heart pounded in her chest, the blood rushing in her ears, drowning out all other sounds but the thumping of their hearts beating in tandem.
Ferran matched her fervor, his hands roaming over her body, exploring the curves and lines that had haunted his dreams. He nipped at her bottom lip, wanting more, craving more. Y/N responded by burying her fingers in his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp, drawing a guttural moan from him.
They were a tangle of limbs and desire, each touch fanning the flames of their growing ardor. Ferran's mouth left a trail of kisses down her neck, each one more heated than the last. Y/N arched into him, her body seeking the closest contact, the most intense sensations.
The world beyond them faded, time becoming a hazy concept. The only thing that mattered was the feel of each other, the taste of their lips intertwined. Their bodies moved together in a rhythm fueled by desire, each touch and sigh stoking the fire between them.
But eventually, the need for air became overwhelming. Reluctantly, they pulled apart, panting and breathless. Ferran's forehead rested against Y/N's, his eyes locking onto hers, a mixture of awe and desire in his gaze.
"You're going to be the death of me," Ferran murmured, his voice thick with residual passion. His hands were still holding her hips, keeping her flush against him. Y/N could only respond with a breathless laugh, her heart racing and her body still humming with unfulfilled desire.
Ferran's smirk softened into a genuine smile as he gazed into Y/N's eyes. He knew he had to say something, to express the tumultuous feelings bubbling within him. Taking a deep breath, he slowly spoke.
"I... I need to tell you something," he began, his voice betraying a hint of nervousness. Y/N's heart skipped a beat, sensing the weight behind his words. She simply gave him a nod, encouraging him to continue.
Ferran took a moment to collect his thoughts. It was now or never. "For a while now, I've been struggling with something. A... a feeling, I guess you could say." He paused, his eyes searching hers, gauging her reaction.
Y/N's heart thudded in her chest, hanging onto every word he said. She could tell whatever he was about to say was important, momentous even.
Ferran went on, his words tumbling out now in a rush of honesty. "I've tried to ignore it, to push it down, but I can't do it anymore. I... I have feelings for you, Y/N. Deep, intense feelings. More than just friendship."
Y/N's breath caught in her throat. For a moment, she simply stared at him, the words echoing in her mind. Did she hear him right? Had he just admitted to having feelings for her, just like she harbored for him?
Ferran watched her, his expression a mix of hope and anxiety. He waited for her response, his heart in his throat.
Y/N, still trying to process his confession, found her voice. "You... you have feelings for me?" she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.
Ferran nodded, his eyes filled with an earnestness that made her heart flutter. "Yes," he replied simply. "I've tried to ignore it, to convince myself it was just a temporary thing, but... it's not. My feelings for you have only grown stronger. I... I've fallen for you, Y/N."
She could see how nervous he was, she never expected the Ferran to be this nervous especially since she was used to see him dominate the pitch. “I have put my feeling off for too many times Ferran, and I’m glad to share the same feelings as you.” She ended the confession with a confident smile.
“So now I have the right to call you mi novia huh.” He says with a smirk. “You have every right Mi tiburón.” She smiles at him.
She laughs at him. "Okay enough with the cheesy cringe confessions." They both laugh finally having found each other.
It was safe to say that the day ended in a perfect way, way better than both of them could’ve imagined.
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The next day:
The morning after Ferran's confession, Y/N found herself at home, still reeling from the previous night's events. Her mind was spinning with a whirlwind of emotions, replaying Ferran's words over and over in her head. But as much as she wanted to lose herself in the memories of his touch and his confession, Y/N knew she needed to face another problem. Her twin brother, Pedri, and his tendency to break promises.
As a result, Y/N's mood was on edge. She tried to hide it, but her annoyance was evident as she saw Pedri lounging on the couch.
"Hey," Pedri greeted her with his usual carefree tone, not noticing the storm brewing in her eyes.
Y/N didn't respond immediately, her jaw clenching. She took a deep breath, trying to suppress the irritation rising within her.
Seeing her silence, Pedri sat up a bit, a puzzled expression on his face. "Something wrong?" he asked, finally noticing her tense demeanor.
Y/N took another deep breath, silently counting to ten to maintain her composure. When she spoke, her voice was calm, but there was a coolness to it. "We need to talk," she said, fixing Pedri with a stern gaze.
Pedri's eyebrows raised in surprise. He could sense the seriousness in her tone. "Okay," he replied cautiously, his easy-going smile fading slightly. "What did I do this time?"
Y/N clenched her fists, reminding herself to stay calm. "You know exactly what," she replied, her voice now holding a hint of sharpness. "It's about the promises you keep breaking. You know how much it bothers me, yet you continue to do it."
Pedri winced at her words. He knew he had a habit of making promises he couldn't keep, but he didn't like being reminded of it, especially in this manner.
"Hey, come on," he started, trying to downplay it. "It's not like I do it on purpose. Things just... happen, you know?"
Y/N's eyes flashed, her irritation growing. "No, that's just an excuse," she shot back, her voice rising slightly. "You promise things, and then you don't follow through. It's disrespectful and infuriating. I know you’re upset about not winning your title but that doesn’t give you the right to ignore my succes.”
Pedri ran a hand through his hair, visibly uncomfortable now. He knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit it. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't mean to make you upset."
Y/N took a step closer, her eyes never leaving his. "But you do upset me, every time you break your word. And it's not just about me. It's about respect, trust, and keeping your commitments."
Pedri's own annoyance flared up at her words, his defenses rising. "Fine, I get it, I mess up sometimes! But what about you, huh? You're always so perfect, so damn put together. Can't make a mistake, can you?"
Y/N stiffened, her eyes narrowing. "This isn't about me, Pedri. It's about you and your lack of responsibility."
Pedri huffed, his anger growing. "Oh, of course. Because everything is always my fault, right? You never do anything wrong."
Y/N's own patience was wearing thin, the calm veneer slipping away. "This isn't about whose fault it is, Pedri," she retorted. "It's about fixing the issue. And you can't just brush it off with sarcasm and deflection."
Pedri, now fully on the defensive, let his anger get the better of him. "Oh, so now you're playing the saint, huh? Always so righteous, so damn judgmental."
Y/N's temper flared as well. "And you're acting like a child, avoiding responsibility at all costs!"
Pedri clenched his jaw, his voice raising. "And what about you? Always so cold, so damn unapproachable. Can't you lighten up a bit?"
Y/N was on the verge of losing her composure completely. "This isn't about being fun or easygoing, Pedri. It's about being reliable and trustworthy!"
Pedri huffed, his frustration boiling over. "Oh, and I suppose you're the epitome of reliability, aren't you? Never make a mistake in your perfect little world."
Y/N's eyes flashed with anger, her own temper pushed to the brink. "No, I'm not perfect, but at least I don't make promises I can't keep! All you do is give me broken promises"
Frustrated and hurt by the argument with Pedri, Y/N stormed out of the house, tears pricking her eyes. She needed to get away, to clear her head and find some comfort. Only one person came to mind: Ferran.
With a resolute stride, she walked towards Ferran's house, her heart racing with a mix of hurt and anticipation.
As soon as Y/N slammed the door shut, Pedri knew he fucked it up but he was too stubborn to apologise and admit that he’s in the wrong.
As Y/N approached Ferran's house, she took a few deep breaths to compose herself, wiping away the stray tears with the back of her hand. She could see the familiar house in the distance, and her heart ached with a strange mixture of comfort and worry. What if he wasn't home? What if he was busy? Doubt and worry churned in her stomach, but she was too raw and emotionally exhausted to turn back now.
Gathering her courage, Y/N walked up to the door and knocked lightly. She waited anxiously, the sound of her pounding heart echoing in her ears. A moment later, the door opened, revealing Ferran, surprise etched on his face.
"Y/N?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. "Is everything okay?"
Y/N's breath hitched at seeing him, his concerned expression only making her emotions come to the surface even more. She tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat, and a small sob escaped her instead.
Ferran's eyes widened, and he immediately pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "Hey, hey, it's alright," he murmured, his voice soothing. His strong arms wrapped around her, providing a comforting embrace.
Y/N buried her face in his chest, her tears now flowing freely. She clung to him, the weight of her argument with Pedri and the turmoil of her emotions overwhelming her. Ferran held her close, murmuring reassurances and rubbing comforting circles on her back.
With her face still buried in his chest, Y/N recounted the argument with Pedri, her voice tremulous. She spoke of the broken promises, the frustration, and the hurt that had led her to his doorstep. Ferran listened silently, his arms tight around her, providing a silent anchor.
After she finished speaking, Y/N pulled back a little, looking up at Ferran with tear-streaked cheeks. Her voice was small when she spoke. "I'm sorry to just show up like this... I didn't know where else to go."
Ferran's expression softened further, his eyes filled with understanding. "You don't have to apologize," he said gently, wiping a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "I'm glad you came to me. You don't have to face things alone, you know that, right?"
Y/N nodded, a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over. Ferran's words, his caring demeanor, were what she needed. She leaned into him again, needing that physical reassurance.
"I just feel so tired and frustrated," she whispered, her voice muffled against his chest.
"I know," Ferran replied, his voice low and comforting. He lifted a hand, gently running his fingers through her hair. "But it's going to be alright. You'll figure it out."
Y/N looked up at him then, her eyes vulnerable. "How can you be so sure?" she asked, a hint of despair in her voice.
Ferran smiled down at her, his gaze unwavering. "Because I know you," he said simply. "You're strong, amor, stronger than you give yourself credit for. And whatever obstacles you face, you'll find a way to overcome them. You always do."
Y/N's lower lip trembled slightly at his words. She knew Ferran believed in her, and his faith was both humbling and bolstering. She clung to his words, letting them soothe her frayed nerves.
"But what do I do about Pedri?" she asked, her voice small.
Ferran thought for a moment, his hand still gently stroking her hair. "You can talk to him again when you both have cooled down," he suggested. "Try to explain how his broken promises affect you. But also, listen to his perspective. Communication is key in resolving conflicts."
Y/N nodded again, appreciating his advice. It made sense to talk to Pedri when they were both calmer. But the thought of another argument filled her with trepidation.
"What if he doesn't listen?" she asked, her voice betraying her anxiety.
Ferran's expression was one of gentle reassurance. "Then you've done everything you can," he said firmly. "You've tried to reach out, express how you feel, and that's all you can do. At the end of the day, it's up to him to listen and make an effort."
He paused, then added, "But remember, you're not alone. You have me, and I'm here for you, no matter what."
Eventually after a few hours at Ferran’s , Y/N decided to head back home. Ferran dropped her off and she went straight to bed, not caring about anything or anyone else.
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The next day
The following day, Y/N woke up feeling a bit more composed after her tumultuous day. The argument with Pedri still weighed on her mind, but she had Ferran's reassurance and support to bolster her.
Pedri, too, was feeling the aftereffects of their argument. With a night's sleep, he had cooled down and realized the depth of his mistakes. In the morning, he couldn't bear the guilt and tension that hung over the house.
As Y/N sat at the kitchen table, quietly sipping her morning coffee, Pedri approached her, looking uncharacteristically contrite.
"Y/N," he began, his voice unusually quiet. "Can we talk for a minute?"
Y/N looked up, a flicker of surprise in her eyes. Seeing his demeanor, her defenses softened a bit, and she nodded. "Sure," she replied, gesturing to the chair opposite her.
Pedri sat down, a deep sigh escaping him. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly flustered. "I... I wanted to apologize. For yesterday."
Y/N remained silent, her eyes fixed on him, assessing his words. But she allowed him to continue.
Pedri continued, his eyes downcast. "I know I should have been there for you, but I was..." He took a deep breath, his voice quiet. "I was having a rough day too. I lost an important title, and I let my own disappointment and frustration get the better of me."
He glanced up at her, regret evident in his eyes. "It's no excuse, I know. But it's the truth."
Y/N listened, her expression softening further as he explained. She understood the disappointment of losing a match, the pressure and the expectations that went with it. It didn't excuse his broken promise, but it certainly shed new light on the situation.
She took a moment to process his words, then responded softly, "I appreciate your apology. And I understand that you were upset about the match."
"But," she added firmly, "That doesn't erase the fact that you broke your promise. I needed you, and you weren't there. My feelings were hurt, and your own disappointment doesn't negate that."
Pedri nodded, his head bowed in agreement. "I know. I messed up, and I let you down. I should have been there, no matter what."
He looked up at her, the remorse clear on his face. "But I want to make it up to you. If you'll allow me."
Y/N studied him for a moment. The genuine remorse in his eyes tugged at her, making forgiving him a lot easier.
"I'll allow it," she replied quietly. "But understand, this is a chance. One more broken promise, and I won't be as receptive."
Pedri's shoulders loosened with relief, a small smile on his face. He hadn't expected forgiveness to come this easily, but he was grateful for it.
"I understand," he reassured her. "I won't let you down again, I promise. I'll be there for you, no matter what hermana."
After their conversation, Pedri gathered his courage and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his twin in a tight hug. He held her close, his voice a soft murmur.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said again, his voice gruff with emotion. "I'm sorry for breaking my promise, and I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me."
Y/N, feeling the weight of his words and the sincerity in his embrace, hugged him back, a mixture of relief and affection welling up in her.
"I forgive you," she murmured against his shoulder, the words holding not just forgiveness but also a note of understanding. "Just... don't do it again."
Pedri nodded, pulling back from the hug but still holding her by the shoulders, a small but genuine smile on his face. "I won't. I swear."
There was still much to talk about, many things to work through between them, but in this moment, they had taken the first step towards repairing their bond.
As they pulled away from the hug, Pedri couldn't contain his curiosity. He had a sly smile on his face as he looked at his sister.
"So," he began, clearly angling for some information, "What's up with you and Ferran?"
Y/N, catching on to his playful tone, rolled her eyes but couldn't help a small smile from forming.
"None of your business," she replied, but there was a hint of a blush on her cheeks that betrayed her words.
Pedri, encouraged by her reaction, continued to tease her. "Oh, come onnnn. You're not denying it, which means I'm right!" Y/N blushes slightly not really knowing how to answer her twin. “You’re not mad are you?”
Pedri's teasing smile softened into a more genuine one. "Nah, I'm not mad," he reassured her, although there was a hint of a teasing lilt to his voice. "Although, I do feel somewhat betrayed by my best friend for not telling me about this development between him and my sister."
He wagged a finger mock-scoldingly. "Next time, don't keep me in the dark, alright?"
Y/N laughed, feeling a little more relaxed now that they were back on their usual banter terms. "Oh, so now you're jealous that you weren't the first to know?"
Pedri feigned indignation, putting a hand over his heart. "Jealous? Me? I am deeply offended by that accusation!"
Y/N chuckled again, shaking her head. "Sure, sure. Just admit it, you're dying to know the details."
Pedri leaned against the kitchen counter, wearing an exaggeratedly dramatic expression. "Well, since you asked so nicely... yes, I am dying to know. Spill it!"
Y/N regales Pedri with the story of how she and Ferran got together, from the initial friendship to the blossoming romance. Pedri listens intently, interjecting with the occasional teasing comment or cheeky question.
As she finishes, Pedri grins widely. "Well, looks like love is in the air."
Y/N rolls her eyes, but there's a smile on her face. "Shut up."
Pedri laughs, then pulls her into a one-armed hug, his tone serious now. "I'm happy for you, you know. You deserve to be happy."
Y/N hugged him back, the love and gratitude she felt for her brother evident in her smile. "Thanks, Pedri. I appreciate that."
Pedri tousled her hair affectionately. "Anytime. Just remember, if that Ferran breaks your heart, I'll kick his ass."
Y/N laughed, pushing him jokingly. "Noted."
The end.
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nanabansama · 3 days
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hiii it’s tsutsumi-kurose!! would to hear your thoughts on the new chapter!! do you have any thoughts on who the people in the red house were this time? do you think they were really trying to help mitsuba? they seem different from the kannagi we originally saw in the red house arc! also just any thoughts overall bc wow what an ending!!
Hiii!!!! 💖💖💖
I really should write a proper post but...let's see! Yes, the new victims are mysterious, aren't they? I enjoyed the twist that they aren't evil and actually tried to help Kou and Mitsuba. At first their "Get Out"s seemed malicious, but then you realize it was a warning... (so yes, I do think they tried to help Mitsuba!)
I also don't think it's weird to say this is Amane's doing. This was his house, and these people weren't here in the old timeline, to our knowledge. And yes, I'm also thinking these aren't exactly kannagi...
That said, notice where they are. They're submerged in water. They're gurbling and glubbing out their words.
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As I've talked about before, the Entity beneath the Red House is associated with water. Water bubbles float around its speech bubbles. It lives in a well. The kannagi were sacrificed into a water-filled chasm. Given that we are in the Red House itself, I am very confident when I say the Entity is a part of all this. (Very obvious conclusion, I know, lol.)
Anyway, I have to imagine these people are similar to Kou in that they were lured to the Red House by Amane. What the victims have in common I'm not sure... however given the fact that Kou was drawn here after being possessed by "Tsukasa-kun" it wouldn't surprise me if these people also came into contact with Tsukasa-kun.
But if that is the case that is extremely concerning... are there a bunch of missing person cases linked to people from Kamome Academy? Or does Tsukasa-kun have a farther reach than we thought?
Let's also remember Amane's age. If I remember correctly the latest we've seen him alive was as a teacher spreading rumors in 1983. It seems like he died that year, or soon after anyway, given his relatively young appearance in Chapter 118.
This could mean he's been at this forrr... more than 30 years?! With over 10 victims at that. It's not too crazy then if he's been getting away with it and that people think the missing person cases are unrelated...especially since the perpetrator, Yugi Amane, is probably considered dead...
One thing I found interesting is some of the victims are rather tall. And some rather short. Either this is a stylistic choice or the victims are all ages. Kind of mysterious! It's hard to imagine elementary schoolers being connected to Kamome Academy, for example, and these beings are really quite short...
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They are very vaguely defined though so maybe it's not important. I mean, they don't even have legs.
Regardless, it's at least safe to assume the victims are all from the city of Kamome. Which isn't too weird considering the Red House from the old timeline also had many victims from Kamome.
Anyway, as I was saying earlier the victims are submerged in water which is famously linked to the Entity. I really don't think it's too crazy if these were victims sacrificed to the Entity in order to grant a wish. The Red House has always been a wish-fulfilling house, after all; from when Tsukasa sacrificed animals to it to give presents to Amane, to when Tsukasa asked Kou if he would sacrifice Nene to get his mom back.
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It would be strange if the Red House of the new timeline didn't have anything to do with wishes! But that's time paradoxes for you I suppose.
Much to think about...I'm sure I'm overlooking something obvious right now. But I really loved the chapter! Threw a big curveball at me with Amane having a hole for a face. It tickles me that the twins still resemble each other so much, despite the age difference.
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Really curious about the ways in which they are different though... and how much of their true selves remain... hmm... still kinda hoping we might find Tsukasa in the Red House!!! Feels wrong without him tbh. Thanks for the ask!!
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mozart-the-meerkitten · 3 months
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*rolls up 15 years late with Avatar the Last Airbender thoughts*
So I've been rewatching clips from the show lately to refresh my memory while I'm writing my Zuko Alone fanfic. And last night I rewatched the clip where Iroh teaches Zuko how to redirect lightning and I have had thoughts about this scene for years so I might as well finally throw them into the void of tumblr.
So, this scene is insane to me, because at the end of learning how he could-hypothetically- redirect lightning, Zuko looks at Iroh and, completely seriously says "okay I'm ready to try it with the real thing now". Like, Zuko, the boy with a massive scar on his face from where his father burned him just looks at his uncle and says, "shoot me with lightning".
And yes, he's 16 and not thinking but that's part of the point because the amount of blind, complete trust Zuko has in Iroh to look at him and say "shoot lightning at me" after the insane trauma he had at the hands of his own father- that is WILD to me. Zuko literally trusts Iroh so much that he just assumes, without even having to think about it, that no matter how volatile and unpredictable the lightning is, Iroh won't hurt him because Zuko cannot fathom his uncle hurting him.
And of course, Iroh's appalled because Zuko's standing there with a massive scar on his face from when his father misused firebending against him and likewise, Iroh cannot fathom hurting Zuko. And since IROH knows how volatile and unpredictable lightning is and how it could literally kill his son nephew he is absolutely NOT going to use it just to let Zuko practice redirecting lightning, but he's so flabbergasted that Zuko would even ask him that that he just kind of splutters angrily that he will ABSOLUTELY NOT shoot lightning at Zuko. (it's also just another layer of how messed up Ozai is because he shot lightning at Zuko without a second thought later)
But I hope Iroh thought about it later and realized the amount of pure, unthinking trust Zuko has in him because ;-; the child didn't even THINK about it. "Okay uncle shoot lightning at me now. I know I'll be safe because it's you." I love them so much 😭😭
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feroluce · 5 months
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So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?
Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.
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So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.
The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!
And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.
He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,
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and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!
I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.
And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.
And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.
And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.
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silusvesuius · 19 days
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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lala-blahblah · 21 days
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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britneyshakespeare · 2 months
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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the-busy-ghost · 2 years
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Alright uninformed rant time. It kind of bugs me that, when studying the Middle Ages, specifically in western Europe, it doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite that you have to take some kind of “Basics of Mediaeval Catholic Doctrine in Everyday Practise” class. 
Obviously you can’t cover everything- we don’t necessarily need to understand the ins and outs of obscure theological arguments (just as your average mediaeval churchgoer probably didn’t need to), or the inner workings of the Great Schism(s), nor how apparently simple theological disputes could be influenced by political and social factors, and of course the Official Line From The Vatican has changed over the centuries (which is why I’ve seen even modern Catholics getting mixed up about something that happened eight centuries ago). And naturally there are going to be misconceptions no matter how much you try to clarify things for people, and regional/class/temporal variations on how people’s actual everyday beliefs were influenced by the church’s rules. 
But it would help if historians studying the Middle Ages, especially western Christendom, were all given a broadly similar training in a) what the official doctrine was at various points on certain important issues and b) how this might translate to what the average layman believed. Because it feels like you’re supposed to pick that up as you go along and even where there are books on the subject they’re not always entirely reliable either (for example, people citing books about how things worked specifically in England to apply to the whole of Europe) and you can’t ask a book a question if you’re confused about any particular point. 
I mean I don’t expect to be spoonfed but somehow I don’t think that I’m supposed to accumulate a half-assed religious education from, say, a 15th century nobleman who was probably more interested in translating chivalric romances and rebelling against the Crown than religion; an angry 16th century Protestant; a 12th century nun from some forgotten valley in the Alps; some footnotes spread out over half a dozen modern political histories of Scotland; and an episode of ‘In Our Time’ from 2009. 
But equally if you’re not a specialist in church history or theology, I’m not sure that it’s necessary to probe the murky depths of every minor theological point ever, and once you’ve started where does it end? 
Anyway this entirely uninformed rant brought to you by my encounter with a sixteenth century bishop who was supposedly writing a completely orthodox book to re-evangelise his flock and tempt them away from Protestantism, but who described the baptismal rite in a way that sounds decidedly sketchy, if not heretical. And rather than being able to engage with the text properly and get what I needed from it, I was instead left sitting there like:
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And frankly I didn’t have the time to go down the rabbit hole that would inevitably open up if I tried to find out
#This is a problem which is magnified in Britain I think as we also have to deal with the Hangover from Protestantism#As seen even in some folk who were raised Catholic but still imbibed certain ideas about the Middle Ages from culturally Protestant schools#And it isn't helped when we're hit with all these popular history tv documentaries#If I have to see one more person whose speciality is writing sensational paperbacks about Henry VIII's court#Being asked to explain for the British public What The Pope Thought I shall scream#Which is not even getting into some of England's super special common law get out clauses#Though having recently listened to some stuff in French I'm beginning to think misconceptions are not limited to Great Britain#Anyway I did take some realy interesting classes at uni on things like marriage and religious orders and so on#But it was definitely patchy and I definitely do not have a good handle on how it all basically hung together#As evidenced by the fact that I've probably made a tonne of mistakes in this post#Books aren't entirely helpful though because you can't ask them questions and sometimes the author is just plain wrong#I mean I will take book recommendations but they are not entirely helpful; and we also haven't all read the same stuff#So one person's idea of what the basics of being baptised involved are going to radically differ from another's based on what they read#Which if you are primarily a political historian interested in the Hundred Years' War doesn't seem important eonugh to quibble over#But it would help if everyone was given some kind of similar introductory training and then they could probe further if needed/wanted#So that one historian's elementary mistake about baptism doesn't affect generations of specialists in the Hundred Years' War#Because they have enough basic knowledge to know that they can just discount that tiny irrelevant bit#This is why seminars are important folks you get to ASK QUESTIONS AND FIGURE OUT BITS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#And as I say there is a bit of a habit in this country of producing books about say religion in mediaeval England#And then you're expected to work out for yourself which bits you can extrapolate and assume were true outwith England#Or France or Scotland or wherever it may be though the English and the French are particularly bad for assuming#that whatever was true for them was obviously true for everyone else so why should they specify that they're only talking about France#Alright rant over#Beginning to come to the conclusion that nobody knows how Christianity works but would like certain historians to stop pretending they do#Edit: I sort of made up the examples of the historical people who gave me my religious education above#But I'm now enamoured with the idea of who actually did give me my weird ideas about mediaeval Catholicism#Who were my historical godparents so to speak#Do I have an idea of mediaeval religion that was jointly shaped by some professor from the 1970s and a 6th century saint?#Does Cardinal Campeggio know he's responsible for some much later human being's catechism?#Fake examples again but I'm going to be thinking about that today
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running-in-the-dark · 7 months
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it's so funny when I rewatch a show but with a new/different/additional crush. like I'm rewatching the librarians with my partner right now and it just feels soo different lol
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astrxealis · 9 months
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dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door#or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees#old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne#is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop#getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared#okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!
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izzy-b-hands · 1 month
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I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj
#text post#im p sure the mutual marker thing was a feature w/them bc i'm missing them on everyone that#as far as I know I was still a mutual with#then again I did drop like. fifteen followers over the last week#but that usually happens whenever I start actually posting my personal thoughts on my personal blog lmao#have also gotten a few messages both politely and not so politely asking me to essentially shut the fuck up re: my personal posts#idk what to tell y'all on that bc like. i have a lot of folks I follow n' enjoy who post just as much /even more than me re: personal stuff#I think im just particularly irritating even when I'm trying really hard not to be and try to edit my posts down/keep them under readmores#but im trying to be better#not trying hard enough tho apparently and this tag essay probably won't help but. idk.#i think we're all allowed to be as irritating/post as much personal stuff as we want on our blogs#but i also think im still operating uselessly on how tumblr was a few years ago. ppl don't like that anymore it seems#and that's okay but I gotta work on catching up to that and do better#anyway. it's possible i did lose most of my mutuals and tbh it's not a big deal it's just a lot of ppl at once like. damn.#makes me wonder what the last straw was just out of curiosity#bc if that's really what happened then im down to like. maybe three or four mutuals left and it hasn't been that low since I first started#on here back in like. tail end of hs beginning of college#I also keep missing the quick reblog feature which was my fave but. someday I will figure out why xkit isn't working for me#and i will fix it. at a time when im not sick and feeling cruddy lol
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aparticularbandit · 2 months
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so there are pros and cons to having spoilers (of various forms) when it comes to first-time playthrough of the danganronpa games.
i'm frequently spoiled on the killers/victims of cases (i think 3-2 is the only time where i went in completely blind, and i loved it, actually), and often i have more information than that but without context (and this last one is important).
what this means is that most of the time when i'm playing a class trial, i'm not looking for the mystery of who did it, i'm looking for the puzzle of how did they do it. and that can save me from the game making it blatantly obvious who did it why aren't we voting because i'm over here okay, but i want to figure out how they did the thing.
this probably helped me enjoy the trial in 3-3. (that said, due to triggering content, i will probably not play that case again.) i enjoyed the story beats of everything going on with himiko and just like. avoided all of the frustration of we all know it's kiyo why aren't we voting because like. i already knew it was kiyo going in, i'm here to see how he did the thing and also why, which was totally a let-down there, ngl. but i'm usually not here for the who. i'm here for how and why.
however.
i also run into spoilers without context like miu suddenly adopted monotaro and see it in discussions on miu's character where this is a huge deal so i'm waiting for something that ends up being, you know, two or three back and forth lines. and, yes, there's a wealth of space to headcanon and enjoy there, but getting to that point after reading about how important it is, it feels underwhelming because like. i go in expecting a bigger character moment from that. i go in expecting something like himiko drama (not that big, not that big, but you know what i mean). and then it isn't that.
which is probably why the dr2 ending was so underwhelming for me. i built up the hajime/izuru reveal so much that it was like. it was a throwaway line. technically not a throwaway because it was important, but it was a thing that got brought up and now we know and let's continue on. in my head, that was so much bigger.
even junko, when she had all of her chewing the scenery at the end of thh (and the end of the anime), was underwhelming for me. because i knew. because i saw how much people loved her. and i built her up in my head as something that wasn't what she was. and so i was underwhelmed and disappointed. (and then i read dr0. and then started pick-pick-picking.)
and like - this isn't a uniquely danganronpa experience either. i've mentioned before how my relationship to junko from a fan experience is extremely similar to my relationship to agatha harkness. both were built up in my head as a really big deal. both were underwhelming when i first encountered them because they didn't live up to what i expected based on what i'd hear about them. and then i started puzzling over intricacies (usually for fanfic - i did not care about agatha until i needed her for finding family and then started analyzing) and got sucked in.
but like.
this is a place where spoilers are failing me. because the hype probably would be right for the character if i didn't encounter the hype first. but i encounter the hype and get overhyped and then the real thing doesn't live up to it.
and i don't know how to better engage with that.
....
but it's possible i'm enjoying the puzzles of the murders more, so that's fun?
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youremyonlyhope · 5 months
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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