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boldlyvoid · 2 years

Text

Head Over Heels | E.M

18+

Summary: 2 best friends on their 2nd and 3rd retake of Senior Year finally admit their feelings for each other

warnings: friends to lovers, drug use, making out, oral (fem receiving) fingering, hand jobs, losing their virginities together, condom use, lots of teasing, love confessions

word count: 4.4k

Every day they skipped free period, ran to his van in the parking lot and got the hell out of Hawkins High as fast as they could. They didn’t want to be there a second longer than they had to. Especially after the last year they’ve had.

She sighs, resting her head against the headrest, she turns to him with a smile. “What are the plans for today, Mr. Munson?”

“First of all, ew,” he turns to her quickly with a disgusted face and then back to the road. “That’s my uncle. Second of all, I was thinking we could get high and chill, 'cause you don't work later…”

She nods along, “yeah, sounds good… and maybe you can finally show me that song you’ve been working on?”

He shakes his head, “no can do, sorry, it’s not ready yet.”

“Come on,” she whines, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and leaning her head on his shoulder, “puh-leeeease?” She begs.

“No,” he laughs as he swats her away, “can’t you see I’m driving here? That’s so dangerous!”

She huffs and crosses her arms, leaning back in her seat again, “fine. But if you can’t show me, how do you expect to be a famous rock star?”

“Most rock stars aren’t singing to a crowd of their muse,” he remarks, not looking over to her at all to see the way her eyes sparkle.

“What?”

“nothing—

“No, not nothing, you clearly just said I was your muse! Eddie!!” A million thoughts racked her brain, she couldn’t believe the words he said… it all felt like a dream. “Did we get hit by a truck? Am I dreaming? Or did you just admit this song is about me?”

He doesn’t answer, he just takes a sharp lefthand turn into the trailer park and speeds up to his place. He throws the van into park and finally turns to her. “You wanna get high or not?”

She nods, suddenly feeling bad as she notices this was a sore spot. “I get it, if it’s about me it’s probably not a good song anyway…”

He stares at her with a look she’s never seen before, “yeah, okay, I wrote a song about you. I’m still working on the cords and I will show you eventually, but it’s embarrassing right now…”

She ran over to him and wrapped him up in a big hug, “you know I’d love it even if it was a silly little commercial jingle, all because you made it.”

He kisses the top of her head before pulling away, “come on, let’s go get baked before my uncle gets home.”

He pulls her inside, into his room and onto his bed. The two of them sit cross-legged across from each other with matching smiles as he rolls them a joint.

“Care to do the honours, my lady?” He passes her the joint with a curtsy, making her laugh.

“Don’t mind if I do,” she plays into his games as she takes it from him.

He always let her go first, she didn’t know if it was him wanting to be a gentleman or him enjoying the view of something in her mouth. She hopes for the latter as she seductively places the joint between her lips and lights a match.

Eddie just watches with a smirk, proud of how far she’s come since they started smoking weed together when she was 17. She coughed so hard the first time he thought he was going to have to take her to the hospital.

Now she blows the smoke back in his direction with a smile, “is this from Rick or the stuff you’ve been growing in the back?”

“Mine,” he smiles as he takes the joint from her. “I wouldn’t waste the good stuff on anyone else.”

That made her feel good, better than the weed was already starting to make her feel as they kept passing the joint back and forth until it was nothing but a roach.

“You’ll never guess what else I did this winter…” he bites his lip in anticipation.

She’s worried, “please don't be anything that can send you back to jail…”

“No,” he shoves her lightly, causing her to fall back against his pillow, she pulls him down with her so they’re lying face to face in his bed. “You know how theres natural growing shrooms up by skull rock?”

She nods, “what about them?”

“I harvested some of them, I put them on bottle caps and wrapped ‘em up in cling-wrap so keep them fresh and waited till they were out of season, I sold them for $20 a pop and I kinda saved up all the money for if we graduate…”

Her eyes grow 3 times their normal size, and not just from the weed, “how much do you have?”

He shrugs, “like two grand…”

“Eddie!” She can’t believe it.

The first time he didn’t graduate it was because he wanted to spend his senior year with her, but she's always been a grade behind him. The second time was because she didn’t graduate and he didn’t want to move on to the real world without her. Having lost a friend to the Mall Fire™, she couldn’t find a way to move on from the loss enough to pass all 8 classes, so she had to go back.

She had the full intention of graduating that time, and then some magic sorcerer from a secret underworld dimension stepped in and all hell broke loose. literally.

But this year, this year they were finally going to do it.

“I’m actually going to graduate this year,” she announces, “which means you need to graduate too.”

Eddie sighs and sits up, “that means we need to get real jobs and go to college and be boring adults… if you think I’m cutting my hair and wearing ties for the rest of my life, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“You don’t have to,” she looks up at him with a smile. “I was thinking me and you could just hop in the van and see where it takes us? Maybe we’ll find a town where we’re normal…”

He laughs, “us? Normal? Y/N have you lost your mind?”

She shrugs, “we could be happy… and with the money you made, maybe we can be?”

“I don’t care where we go, I’m happy as long as I’m with you,” he admits, getting sappy on her for a change. He was a sweetheart, no matter how stoic he pretended to be, he was too sweet on her to keep the act up.

She sits up and crawls into his lap, holding his face in her hands, cautiously, it wasn’t unusual for them to be this close, but it was different for them to be this honest, “you make me happy, too. But this town is holding us back. We should go to California, you can bring your guitar and we can hit open mic nights together, you can start a good band and build a reputation and be The Eddie Munson that I know is in there.”

“The kids are gonna miss me,” he teases with a fictitious sigh, referencing to Dustin and the gang.

She smacks his arm slightly, “I’m serious. I think we could make a good life there.”

“Then you’ve gotta audition for some stuff,” he insists. “Just because you never got any lead roles here in Hawkins doesn’t mean Jack shit, you’re an incredible actress. Those idiots just couldn’t see it.”

She nods, moving her hands to rest on his shoulders, “we can do it. I’ll help you pass English, you can help me pass math, and together we’ll get our diplomas and say goodbye to this hell hole.”

He nods, but he still looks unsure.

“What?”

“I can’t go with you unless you know something about me… it might change everything between us, but I can’t keep this a secret anymore,” he can barely look at her, nervous as ever, and he sighs. “I’m in love with you. I have been since that mixed art class we took 6 years ago… like absolutely, 100% head over heels, in love with you.”

“Eddie?” She can’t believe his words.

“I know, I know,” he’s so ashamed he looks away from her, off into the corner of the room. “I get it if you don’t want to go with me anymore…”

She places a hand on his cheek and guides his attention back to her eyes, “sweetheart, I’ve loved you for just as long. Even with all the drama and the murders and everything we’ve gone through together here, I love you, so very much.”

He doesn’t hesitate to kiss her, lunging for her lips with his own, it’s a perfect fit. With his hands on her hips, he pulls her in close so they’re chest to chest. Swiping his tongue against her bottom lip, she greets him with her own tongue, in a make-out session that should’ve happened years ago. She can’t believe they waited this long to do this.

“Wait, wait,” he pulls back, stopping her from kissing him so she can just look at him. “There’s something else…”

“What?”

“I lied to you… back when I said I lost my virginity at camp in Junior year—

“Why would you lie?”

“Cause I wanted you to think I was cool,” he admits with a shrug. “I know, I know, it’s stupid.”

She nods, “Yeah, cause it made me terrified that I wouldn’t be experienced enough if you ever wanted to one day.” It took a lot of guts for her to admit that, but since they were letting things out, she had to do it.

He shakes his head, a concerned look cascading over his face. “No, oh my god, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay,” she smiles, “now at least we’re on the same level.”

“Seriously?” He’s taken aback, blushing as the smirk on his face grows. “you want to have sex with me one day?”

She nods with a small giggle, “I’ve been thinking about it for years.”

“Me too,” he looks at her lips again, “don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I have some condoms here if you want to try?”

She raises a brow, “why do you have condoms?”

“My uncle gives me 2 every time he buys a new pack, he says we don’t have space in here for another mouth to feed,” he explains. “But I’ve never used them…”

“Um, y-yeah,” she nods, nervous but thankfully the weed kept her calm.

His big brown doe eyes lock on to hers, “we’re only doing this if you’re 100% certain. I’ll wait a million moons to finally get to make you mine, all that matters to me is you don’t regret it when we do. I couldn’t live with myself if I was taking something thats not mine…”

She swoons, melting right into his embrace, “oh, Eddie…”

“I need more words than that, princess,” he holds her cheeks in his hands and kisses the tip of his nose. “Do you want to?”

“Yes,” she says while nodding like mad. “100 million times yes, I want to do this with you and no one else… I just have one problem.”

“What?” He looks worried.

“How certain are you that condoms work… I just don’t think we’re ready to handle a baby on the road,” she lets her worries free.

He laughs, shaking his head with a smile, “really? Half the kids in our high school are fucking like rabbits and there’s not a single baby in site—

“well—

“Loraine Patterson’s doesn’t count, that was her cousin,” Eddie cuts her back off but they both end up laughing. “At least, that’s what they say.”

She shakes her head and clicks her tongue, “you’re unbelievable, Eddie Munson.”

“You’re unbelievably beautiful,” he muses, leaning back in for another kiss.

She runs her hands down his chest, heading under his jacket and behind his back so she could hold him even closer. His tongue on her’s is soft, wet and inviting and she can’t help but think of it elsewhere. She grinds against him, the friction from their jeans is an added bonus but she wants more.

She kisses his jaw and down his neck, she pushes his jacket off his shoulders and reaches for the hem of his shirt, “take it off…” he whispers, looking up at her softly, he lifts his arms into the air and lets her pull it over his head.

She’s seen him shirtless a million times, hell she was even there with him when he got a couple of his chest tattoos, but this was so much different. She ran her fingers down his chest lightly, playing with the slight gathering of chest hair and teasing his nipples slightly. “You’re so cute.”

“Thank you,” he blushes, “can I take your shirt off, too?”

She nods, raising her arms the same way he did before, and then her shirt is gone. “But we have to make it even,” she smirks, reaching behind her back she unclips her bra and lets the straps fall off her shoulders.

He watches intently as her breasts become free, his breathing picks up a bit, and he tilts his head to the side with a please sigh. “Sweet Jesus I’ve been dreaming of what they look like for years now…”

“All you had to do was ask,” she teases him. “I’m not kidding.”

He clicks his tongue in shame, placing both his hands on her back for support, he flips them over so she’s laying on her back with her head on the pillow, him on top of her. She wraps one of her legs around him as he rests between them, holding him close as he looks down at her.

His hair falls down into her face, so she takes one of her ponytails on her wrist and puts his hair back for him, “better?”

“Much,” he smiles and then looks down at her boobs again. “… can I?”

“Touch them?”

He nods, “with my mouth.”

She moans right then and there and he takes that as a yes, he cups her boobs in his hands and makes a b-line for the right one. He sucks the nipple into his mouth automatically, “oh my god!” She can’t help herself, it feels so wonderful.

She wraps both her legs around him, cradling his face in her hands as he made out with her tits, they kept grinding together while he had his fun. She was high, on cloud nine, this was the best day of her life and it was the first of many.

He kept kissing lower, making her stomach drop and her breathing still. She took a deep breath, sucking in her stomach at the same time, suddenly terrified.

He kisses right to the button of her jeans and then looks up at her, “what’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, lying, “nothing.”

He tilts his head to the side, giving her the classing All Knowing Eddie look. “Fine,” she gives in. “It’s just no one’s ever seen me naked.”

“Me either,” he reminds her. “And think of it this way, no matter what you think of yourself, I think you’re gorgeous,” he assures her with a sweet smile. “I’m blessed to get to see you like this, and even more so as the first…”

She nods, lifting her hips up, “take them off.”

He undoes the button, pushes the zip down and then pulls her jeans off. This was the last thing she expected when she put on care bear underwear that morning, and instantly she was embarrassed again. Closing her eyes in the hopes that this was actually a dream and she could wake up from it.

Instead, he just presses a kiss to the centre of her panties, right in the middle of the heart on the pink care bear chest, his lips in the shape of a smile. “You’re the cute one.”

“Shut up,” she covers her face with her hands, “I forgot I put those on this morning.”

“How long have you had these?”

“too long,” she sighs, “can you just take them off so I don’t have to be embarrassed anymore?”

“I mean, yeah, but it’s not embarrassing, it’s cute,” he loops his fingers under the band and pulls them down slowly. Mesmerized by the fact this was real and happening right in front of him.

He spreads her legs, trailing his hands down her inner thighs, his rings are so cold they make her shiver, cooling down the heat that was building inside of her.

“You’re in too many clothes now,” she teases him, making his eyes dart back up to her, snapping him back into the moment.

“What?”

“Get naked,” she orders with a giggle, shaking her head with a smirk. It was a lot easier to do this when she realized she was just as cautious, fumble-y and overwhelmed with lust for her as she was with him.

He gets off the bed quickly, pushing himself out of his jeans and fruit of the loom undies, not as embarrassing as hers, but he still turned a cute shade of pink when she saw them.

He stood there beside the bed, naked and nervous as she looked him up and down with her jaw slack. “Wow…” she whispers, more to herself than anything.

She sits up and moves to the edge of the bed, reaching forward and taking his hard cock in her hand gently. He sucks in a sharp breath, watching her work her hand up and down the shaft of his cock. She’s mesmerized by how big he is, how soft the skin is, it’s remarkable. She can’t help but smile, proud of herself. Proud of them.

“Fuck,” he whispers under his breath, causing her to look up at him. “Sorry, it’s just— fuck you’re so hot…”

She gets up and stands in front of him, placing her hands on his shoulders before running them along his arms, down past his wrists, she interlocks their fingers on both hands and stares up into his eyes.

“I wish you told me you liked me years ago,” she admits. “Imagine all the sex we could’ve been having… the amount of alone time we’ve had in this tailer over the last 6 years is crazy, and everyone thought we were fucking anyway.”

“They did,” he thinks back to it. “I mean, I always just thought they could see my crush on you and were teasing me.”

“I’m surprised you couldn’t tell I had a crush on you?”

“I couldn’t risk losing you,” he admits. “I couldn’t ask, I couldn’t assume and definitely wasn’t going to make a move and risk having you hate me…”

She leans in for a quick kiss, “well, you never have to worry about that again.”

He kisses her again, deeper this time. Letting go of her hands, he explores her back, pulling her in closer so their chests are flush together. He’s so warm and soft, he smells like home and he tastes like forever.

“Find that condom,” she whispers against his lips, “please?”

He pulls back and nods, “yeah,” he turns around and searches through his underwear drawer, he comes back with a shiny silver package and a smile.

She looks around the room, finding the towel he normally keeps on the back of his door to lay on the bed. “If we’re sleeping here tonight you won’t want a wet spot…”

His brow raises, “seriously?”

She nods with a smirk, “I know myself… if thoughts of you make me wet I can’t imagine what you’re going to actually do to me.”

“I want you on top at some point,” he admits, “I think about that all the time.”

She pulls him over to the bed, getting in first and pulling him back on top of her. “What else do you think about?” He blushes, a deep magenta taking over all his features, spreading down to his chest. “Oh, now you have to tell me.”

He bites his lip, staring off and then shrugging, “fine. Okay, I think about eating you out like… 3 times a day maybe.”

Her brows shoot up, and her eyes grow huge, “you’re kidding?”

He shakes his head, “I’m completely serious.”

She spreads her legs, letting him settle between them, with a small chuckle she places her hand on his face and pushes him down but she doesn’t need to, with that non-verbal consent, he’s more than ready to do this.

He takes a minute to just look, to admire her the same way she did to him. “You ready?”

She nods, “don’t hold back…”

And he doesn’t. She thought making out with him was the most pleasurable experience she’d have with his tongue…

She thanks God his uncle isn’t home as she melts into the bed and gets lost in the feeling. She doesn’t care how loud she gets, actually the louder she is the better it feels like he was trying to get that from her. She tugged on his hair, causing him to moan against her, the octave of his voice making her clit vibrate, she was over the moon with feelings.

Right there on the edge, she savoured it. Arching her back, she closed her eyes and relaxed into the overwhelming high of her orgasm as it began to rip through her. “Fuck, Eddie!”

Without warning he adds two fingers, figuring she’d be at her most relaxed and elasticated enough to stretch. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, this wasn’t supposed to hurt.

He kisses the inside of her thigh lightly, then her hip, her stomach, through the middle of her breasts and then he hovers. “You okay?”

She nods, “fantastic, holy fuck, dude?”

He smirks, that beautiful Eddie smirk she’s been in love with for years. She threads her fingers through his hair and brings him in for a kiss, all while he keeps pumping his fingers in and out of her.

She gets lost in his mouth, high on feelings and overflowing with euphoria. She reaches between them, stroking his cock, making him moan into her mouth. She kisses him one last time before smiling, “I’m ready, please?”

He pulls out, wipes his fingers on the towel under her and nods, trying to act cool but he was beyond excited. He sits back on his knees, fumbling with the condom in his hands, she sits up and takes it from him, “lay down, I want to be on top.”

“Really?” He doesn’t hesitate to lay back, letting her climb onto his thighs and take her seat.

She opens the condom, takes his cock in her hands and rolls it over his length. She positions herself on top of him and slowly, very slowly, begins to sit down on it. He’s thick, she’s not going to lie, it hurts a tiny bit and he can tell by the look on her face. To help, he rubs her clit, helping her relax and open again so she can slide right down.

He bottoms out with a sigh, never feeling something so incredible before. He tosses his head back, “sweet fucking Christ.”

She smirks, it’s surreal to be in this moment with him, even crazier that they’re actually kinda good at it… she begins to rock her hips, finding her own rhythm and comfort, and she starts to buck her hips a bit faster. The feeling of his thumb on her clit and his cock deep inside her was more than she expected, she feels so close again, but she wants to just stay there.

She doesn’t want it to end.

He sits up then, pulling her in close so they’re chest to chest, her legs wrap around his waist, locking them in place like that. She places her hands on the bed, using it as leverage to lift herself off his cock and push back down against it just hard enough to send tingles down her legs.

He looks her in the eyes, big brown and blown out, dark black holes she could get lost in forever… her’s most likely were the same. She could devour him whole if she wanted to.

“I love you,” he whispers, reminding her why they were finally just now doing this.

She whines, tossing her head back, “fuck, I love you, more.”

“That so, princess?” He grips her hips tighter, fucking into her with more passion and heat.

She leans back, even more, legs going limp, giving him the chance to toss her back against the bed, spread her legs and fuck into her with vigour. She releases a string of incomprehensible moans and chants of the lord's name in vain… she just adds that to the list of sins she’s committed with Eddie Munson. And she’s sure it wouldn’t be the last.

The way he kisses her as he fucks her, his hand between their bodies working on her clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through her as another orgasm teeters on the edge of destruction.

“Please… please? Please?” She can’t for any sentences, too fuck out to even think.

“Wanna cum, sweetheart?” He teases her, rubbing her clit faster. “Go one, cum. I want to feel you pulse around my cock the way you did on my tongue.”

That does it for her.

Her body goes limp, her arms spread out flat on the mattress as she lets the pleasure attack her. Almost too out of it to feel him chance pace, but not enough to miss the fantastic feeling of him thrusting into her one last time and then falling onto her. Burying his face in the crook of her neck. Panting. Fucked out too.

“Holy fuck…” she whispers, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back gently. He was sweaty and hot but she didn’t care. Being this close to him was perfect.

“Yeah,” he agrees, snuggling in closer and kissing the side of her neck. “That was amazing…”

“No one’s going to see us ever again,” she teases, never wanting to leave his bed now that they’ve christened it.

“I’m going to need to buy more condoms,” he teases right back. “But seriously, that was everything. I’m really glad I waited.”

She smiles, “me too, Munson. Me too.”

stranger things taglist:

@fightingdragonswithreid @mrs-dr-reid @kyomito @reidselle

please message me if you want to be added

#eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #stranger things season 4

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soundtracker27 · 3 years

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Alright, @koriandrappreciationweek here's Day 2: "Universe" - had a lot of fun imagining it, silly as it is.

Sorry, I apparently only know how to write novels.

----------

Kory walks into the kitchen on a bright spring morning. There's coffee made - X'hal bless Donna. Kory pours herself a huge cup and starts to take a drink.

"Wait, I think I hate coffee?" She takes a sip and spits it in the sink. Okay, weird day today.

Garfield walks in, green hair slicked over, briefcase in hand.

"Hey honey, I've got to get going early today - big meeting. But I can get off early to grab the kids from soccer. Work for you?"

She hesitates - what on earth is happening this morning? "What kids, Gar?"

He laughs, "you're adorable, sweetie. Our kids! Okay, gotta go." He gives her a peck on the cheek, grabs an apple off the counter and dashes off." Kory watches as his souped up muscle car tears down the road and over the bridge away from Titans Tower. She doesn't have much time to think though because two little girls and a cyborg boy come bounding in, ready for school.

"Mooooooom!!!!! Raven won't let me wear her purple converse!" a 10 year old Donna cries. "She didn't even ask. She just took them." The calm and factual response sounds like the Raven Kory knows, but who on earth is this little girl?

"Can I have my friend Dick over after school today? We are working on a ham radio project and... "

"Vic, I - you're... so tiny." The girls titter as their argument fades.

"Gosh mom, that's not super nice to point out."

"X'hal! I don't think I'm your mom, you guys. I'm your friend, Starfire! I came from Tameran- I'm dating Dick and I'm roommates with Donna and I have a modeling job!"

Donna matter of factly pats Kory on the cheek. "Mom, we love you but you're old, and we're kids. And unless you're hiding something, I think you work at Macy's. I don't know who Dick is but we won't tell dad." She giggles.

Raven glances out the window and sees their bus coming up the road in the distance. "Time to go, I'm not getting in trouble again today." She tugs Victor out and Donna scampers after. "Bye mom!!" "Byeeeee!"

She instinctively kisses each of them on the tops of their heads. She may not be their mom, but they do seem to need one anyway.

"Okay, bye sweeties. Hope you have a good day at school."

Kory pours herself another cup of coffee, adds four spoonfuls of sugar and sits down on the couch utterly bewildered. This time she manages a few sips. For a long time she's harbored hopes to be married, and to have kids... Dick's kids. But this, X'hal! This is just too weird.

"What on the actual earth is happening right now!? Married to Garfield!? Working at Macy's?! What even is Macy's!?"

She walks to the big wall where the team hangs all their favorite photos, hoping to see the familiar faces of the team after that night at Lazeli's pizza, or the picture of her and Donna at the New Years party at Wayne Manor. Where are all the photos of Dick? She's taken a million and at least a few were up on the wall, she was sure. The one of him, Wally and Roy after highschool graduation - the one of she and Dick teaching Lian to ride a bike on her 2nd birthday. Where did it all go?

The telephone rings. She isn't sure she wants to answer it, but maybe it will bring some clarity to this utterly confusing moment. "He-hello?"

"Oh Hi Mrs. Logan, Kory." It's the deep, quiet voice of Bruce Wayne.

Now this is unusual - he's never directly called the Tower before, especially not to talk with her. Dick's dad is nice, just rather standoffish when it comes to Kory. It's been improving but she just hasn't been able to break through that wall yet. "This is Bruce Wayne. I just wanted to call and make sure that you knew the boys were planning on working on ham radio tonight at the manor. I know sometimes Dick forgets to tell me when he's going to be out and I get so worried. You just never know with crime in the city these days. I just thought I'd call and let you know!"

"Oh um, Bruce, thank you so much. Yes, Vic mentioned it."

"Great! Alfred will make sure they eat. Have a good one." The phone clicks silent. She's just utterly bewildered. She flops back on the couch, unsure of what to do next. The phone rings again but it sounds further away this time, and she's feeling rather lazy and decides not to get it. Maybe she'll just close her eyes for a few minutes and the solution will present itself.

Suddenly her eyes pop open. The phone continues to ring but Dick, oh! Her actual 22 year old boyfriend is standing in the kitchen, hands covered in pizza sauce.

"Hey babe, so sorry - can you grab that? I was just in the middle of making this, Sorry it woke you up!"

Kory flies off the couch to the kitchen, then backtracks to the picture wall. There it is - Kory with a champagne flute, Donna in that strappy black dress with Terry hanging his arm around both the girls' shoulders. Smiling the biggest smiles. Kory smiles now and dashes to the kitchen and wraps herself around Dick Grayson. He helplessly holds up his dirty hands. She breathes, "I'm so glad to be back."

"I'm pretty sure you were only asleep for like ten minutes." He washes off his hands, then gives her a real hug.

She sighs and shakes her head, "Actually, it felt like a lifetime."

#koriand'r #dc titans #kory anders #new teen titans #teen titans #donna troy #rachel roth #raven roth #garfield logan #dick grayson #victor stone #dc fanfic #dc alternate universe #koriandrappreciationweek #dickkory #robstar

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mattsboldyy · 3 years

Text

Just another Girl | Jack Hughes | Part 2

Summary: Things between you and Jack have changed. A lot. You just can’t seem to get him out of your head. No matter how hard you tried. You seem to see Jack’s face in everybody. Your friend scored some tickets to a devils game... what happens next?

Requested- Nope :)

Words- 1k

Warnings- angsts, sad, very very sad, mentions of mental health issues, female reader

Requests- Open

Tagging some friends -@mysoftboybowen@ricohenrique @lovereadinghockeyy @cherrylita @dumbbrunettechild @2manytabsopen @prettyboyjackhughes @hawksgirl1

Authors Note- This fic is based of ‘Groupie’ by Cate. Enjoy!

It had been 2 weeks since you and Jack talked, the longest you’ve ever spent apart much less not talking to each other. You still didn’t understand what happened to Jack, well... you didn’t understand what happened to you and Jack’s relationship.

”Hi girly!” Claire, your best friend, said through the phone that was currently being held up to your ear.

”Hi Claire!” You said, shutting your laptop and getting up from your desk.

”Okay, I have something to tell you..” Claire said.

”Okay..? Is everything okay?” You said, worrying from the tone in her voice.

”I’m fine but I’m not sure if you’ll be-“ Claire said before you cute her off.

”Just spit it out!” You said, giggling.

”Okay! I have 2 New Jersey Devils tickets for tomorrow night.. I know you might not want to go because of... you know... Jack.. but you’re the only person I want to invite.” Claire said.

“Y-yeah.. I’ll go!” You said, not to sure about your decision after saying it.

”Okay! Just tell me if you change your mind.. I understand!” Claire said.

”Yeah sure! Thank you! I love you best friend!” You said, before hanging up after hearing Claire respond.

You put on a red oversized sweater that you got for Christmas a year ago with some black ripped jeans with white tennis shoes before walking out your apartment door and heading to your car, and then on the way to the rink. You were nervous about seeing Jack, even though he might not talk to you. Jack has caused you so much self doubt and anxiety that you’re scared to meet new people due to the fear they might just ghost you one day like Jack did. You decided you were going to go and enjoy time with your best friend anyway. You couldn’t let some boy ruin your happiness.

“Hi gorgeous! You look amazing!” Claire said, hugging you and looking at your outfit.

”Thank you lovely! You look amazing too!” You said as Claire handed you your ticket.

”Thanks babe, you ready to go in?” Claire asked, taking your hand.

”Ready as I’ll ever be!” You said, walking towards the ticket scanners.

“These are out seats!” Claire said, gesturing for you to go into the seating isle first.

”These are great.. but why so close to the glass?” You asked, Jack crawling his way back into your head.

”Come on Y/N. Don’t worry about Jack. He doesn’t deserve you. Seat right here and show him what he’s missing.“ Claire said, pushing your shoulders down in the seat.

You just sighed and sat down, waiting for warm ups to start. You were thinking about what Claire said... Jack wouldn’t miss you. He wouldn’t miss a girl with self doubt and bad anxiety that refuses to do anything that reminds her of himself. Well, that’s what you thought. Soon enough, warmups started and you say ‘86’ skate out onto the ice. You turned and looked up to the rest of the seats, avoiding the possibility of Jack recognizing you.

“Y/N! Stop it. Look at the ice.” Claire said, looking at you.

”Claire...” You said, turning around before you met eyes with Jack.

He gave you a look that you couldn’t really read. You didn’t know if it was a good look or a bad look. He just kinda looked at you and looked away. You watched him skate away. On his 2nd lap, you looked at him and he had winked at this girl sitting a few rows above you. This is why you had second thoughts about coming. You’re going to get heartbroken over and over again.

”Did he just-“ Claire said.

”Yeah. He did.” You said, looking back up at the girl Jack just winked at.

”I’m sorry.” Claire mumbled.

”It’s okay.“ You said back before watching the rest of the hockey game.

New Jersey ended up winning. Jack scored a goal. You still cheered even though you were bitter and didn’t want to. After the game you and Claire stayed in your seats and talked a few minutes. When you were getting up from your seats, you looked at the ice and a girl, a very pretty girl, came towards Jack who was still on the ice. Jack picked her up, kissed her, and spun her around. Your heart dropped. Why does the world hate you. After Jack put the girl down, Jack looked exactly at you and then looked away.

”What a bitch.” You mumbled.

“What?” Claire asked, turning around in the same isle to face you.

”Can we just go? Please?” You asked, with Claire nodding and walking up the steps, shortly exiting the arena.

After getting to your car, and Claire apologizing a million times, you drove home. You felt numb. You can’t believe Jack forgot you that quickly.

When you got home, you looked at instagram and saw that Jack posted a picture with the same girl, with the caption ‘So thankful to have you. ❤️‘ You almost threw up. How gross can they get.

You went to sleep, realizing that you need to stop thinking about Jack. You needed to get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

So, that’s exactly what you did

#jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #kay releases fics #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #jack hughes x fem!reader

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anika-ann · 4 years

Text

The 5 Times Steve Felt Betrayed - bonus

and the 1 Time He Felt Like He Was Betraying You

Type: mini-series to a series (part 1 & part 2 & part 3), Avenger!reader AU.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 3400

Summary: Steve might have abandoned you and his friends in Germany, but Steve Rogers does not give up on people. Do you?

Set shortly after the rescue from the Raft.

Warnings: mentions of violence and fights, mentions of the Raft, language...fluff

A/N: This part of Melting Hearts’ verse follows the events of CA: Civil War, sometimes only referencing them and kinda expecting the readers to know what’s up ;)

Posted in double chapters (1st & 2nd time, 3th & 4th, 5th+1... and the bonus, because my brain clearly doesn’t understand the concept of 5+1)

Previous part

────── ·❆· ──────

Seeking Shelter, Finding Home

Clint had been kind enough to replace Steve in the pilot seat – with a significant look sent your direction. You were sitting away from the others, watching your hands as if you couldn’t quite believe they belonged to you. Steve’s lips automatically press a thin line at the sight – you still looked so small as you had when he had found you in the cell.

Just the memory of The Raft made his stomach turn over. The prison was just inhumane – the way a power-restricting collar had been pinned around your neck, your hands trapped in a straitjacket just in case you would somehow manage to remove the collar. And then there had been the tiny thing in the straightjacket, ready to deliver an electric discharge if you would have left your cell despite all the barriers.

Sure, Wanda had been in the same… outfit, and it was sickening, but seeing you crumbled in the corner of the cell, tied and broken like that – it had made him unable to breathe in or out, his chest just too constricted. And knowing you had gone through all this because of him made it even worse.

Now, you were at least free of your cuffs, in a comfortable hoodie that was two sizes big for you, and yet you seemed absolutely lost.

He approached you hesitantly, his heart jumping to his throat and making it almost impossible for him to speak.

“Uhm… hey,” he greeted you softly and you immediately raised your head to him, a faint unsure smile appearing on your lips. Your absent eyes found his, missing its usual spark. He beckoned to the seat next to you. “May I?”

“Of course,” you whispered, apparently a bit baffled. Steve sure as hell didn’t like the resignation in your voice. “This is your jet.”

He shrugged, seating himself by your side. Your shoulder almost brushed his and it was as pleasant for him as unnerving. So close and yet too far.

“You helped me steal it.”

You eyed him timidly, fumbling with your fingers nervously. Heavy silence fell and for several moments; he just stared into your eyes, drinking in the feeling of being able to do that again. To look into your soul and see all the emotions playing in your head; until you lowered your gaze again, hiding from him.

He sighed, not knowing how to even start, not knowing how to talk to you; you had barely exchanged few words about Bucky’s whereabouts since the rescue from the prison and it had been… awkward, to put it mildly.

God, where should he start? He wanted to apologize. He wanted to ask million questions and most of all he just wanted to wrap his arms around you and hold you close, not saying a single word, because words only made things messy.

That was if someone bothered with forming them – or receiving them.

He gulped and pulled out the folded envelope. He would swear he could hear your heart skip a beat as you drew in a sharp breath.

“Uhm… I didn’t read it. I’m sorry. I… I was angry with you, disappointed. I thought… I thought you left me in a lurch and then you were just… trying to make it better with few words. And after, I didn’t want to… to waste any time. I wanted to find you, all of you, because I left you behind and I knew you suffered for it. And…” he took a deep breath, setting the letter aside, taking your restless fingers in his hands. You looked up at his face, your eyes wide and glassy. It made his throat even tighter. “And I was hoping you could just tell me what you wrote. That you could tell me everything.”

You pressed your lips together, blinking your tears away as you avoided his gaze once more. It was driving him insane, but he couldn’t say he blamed you.

“There’s not much to tell, Steve. I… I agreed with the Accords. With someone watching over us, maybe to be held responsible for--- but all I wanted was someone watching over me. Because I can do so much damage-“

He grimaced, a cold hand squeezing his guts as you stumbled over your words. Forever and always guilty. He underestimated sometimes how deeply your guilt ran.

“That’s not-“

“-and… I hated we couldn’t agree on that. But I never got myself to sign it. Didn’t really have the time and after what they did to Wanda – I couldn’t, it was just wrong. So wrong to hold her prisoner, throwing her under the bus. She made a mistake, yes, but we all did-- and… it wasn’t right. It was when I decided I couldn’t do it.”

“Why didn’t you come with Clint then?” he asked, confused. He was recognizing you now, the motivations you had had suddenly feeling much more like you than he would expect.

You smiled wryly.

“I couldn’t. It was… I figured that maybe at least I could make myself useful. I knew where that was heading. I had to stay with Tony to know their plan.”

Steve closed his eyes, exhaling shakily, your hands in his weighting a ton all of sudden. You had really been playing double agent. That had been such a stupid and reckless move. And kinda brilliant, but that was implied.

“God, Snowflake…”

You freed one of your hands to wipe the tears from your cheeks; Steve gripped your other hand tighter, so you wouldn’t get the idea of stopping touching him for a goddamn second.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the arrest too, but I saw what kind of a task force they sent after you, Steve. You would stand no chance, there was no way you could escape. The heavy guns, Rhodey, snipers, helicopters. It was-“

Steve’s eyes snapped open at the realization.

“You were trying to protect us,” he whispered incredulously.

Oh god. Had you gone completely insane? Had you lost your mind? Had you lost the last pieces of self-preservation somewhere along the way?

“I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t my call and I swear I was waiting until the last moment, I waited until I was sure that they would get you anyway. And I am— I’m so, so sorry for--- for-”

You hand was shaking in his, your voice cracked and you were now wiping the tears uselessly, because new ones were coming constantly. You weren’t able to finish the sentence, but Steve knew exactly what you were trying to say.

And it made him snap.

He threw away stupid ideas like approaching you carefully and wrapped his arms around your trembling form, cradling your face to his chest to hush you. He was taken aback when your weak fingers grabbed the edges of his leather jacket and you melted into him. He tightened his embrace.

“Hey, I know. It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry you had to use your powers against me. I’m sorry,” he mumbled into your hair and you stiffened, you breath hitching.

“What?”

He caressed your back, his previous certainty wavering. “You hated it, didn’t you? You hated it so much, but you did it anyway, because you thought it was the only way to keep us from getting shot.”

You didn’t speak up, unable to find your voice, but Steve could feel your furious nods. He inhaled deeply through his nose, wishing he could just take the feeling tearing you apart away.

“You did the right thing.”

“Right things suck.”

Steve huffed out a surprised laugh and pressed a shameless kiss into your hair. “Yeah. Sometimes they do. But you did it anyway, which makes you the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

You stopped shaking by then, and you fumbled with his jacket this time. Your face was hidden in the crook of his neck, but Steve would swear your face felt hotter even when he couldn’t see your cheeks. It was a little piece of happiness for him in this huge mess and he couldn’t be more grateful for you being here with him – finally in his arms.

“Can I ask you something?”

He wanted to slap himself the moment you tensed in his arms again. You nodded stiffly anyway.

“After… after Nigeria. Why— why did you start going to Matt? What happened? Were you… were you disappointed in me?”

You retreated, escaping his embrace, and Steve scolded himself for being so stupid. Why had he poked you again? Words always made things messy…

It was only a little comfort that you were still holding onto his jacket. Your baffled face confused the hell out of him – but at least you didn’t seem angry.

“Why would I be disappointed? What… what?”

“Uhm… well… because I froze. I didn’t handle the situation-“

“Jesus, Steve,” you choked out, shaking your head, your eyes finally finding his willingly. The look in them warmed Steve’s heart even when he wasn’t sure what exactly it was supposed to mean. “Is that what you think? That I was… disappointed that you didn’t perfectly keep your cool when Rumlow mentioned Bucky? Did you think I was… thinking any less of you? Judging you? Oh god, Steve. How could I?”

The sincerity of your voice struck him straight in his gut and he was honestly feeling like an idiot in an instant. Of course you hadn’t judged him. You weren’t one to judge people – you hadn’t said a word against Wanda after she had messed up. The only person you ever had been hard on was yourself. How could he have believed anything else even for a second?

Jealously, whispered the intrusive voice in the back of his mind and he shushed it angrily – mostly because it spoke the truth.

“But… why did you go to— uhm, to Matt then?”

You arched an eyebrow inconspicuously and Steve felt a blush creeping up his neck. Yeah, he had been jealous and wounded at the time and it was stupid, okay?

“Because I needed a lawyer,” you explained hesitantly and it was Steve’s turn to be perfectly shocked. Again. What? “A good one. A smart one. An outsider too, at least to certain extent. I wanted to ask him about the possible consequences of the Avengers messing up. I wanted to know his opinion and I didn’t want to ask him over a phone. He predicted the Accords with scary precision, by the way. And he said hi on several occasions, but I never got the nerve to actually deliver the greetings, because I was afraid you would pry why I was going out.”

Steve’s jaw went slack, his eyes widening in awe. That— that was pretty much the only thing he hadn’t seen coming. Shit. You-- you were incredible. You had been thinking ahead. So much. You had been afraid of the consequences so you had gone to a lawyer to be prepared.

Yes, you had sought out the one friend, who had happened to find too much liking in you, but… while he and Wanda had been figuring out their guilt – and Steve was still sure you had taken some of the blame too in your head – you had sprung into action. And his ego had been too wounded to see it.

He tilted his head back, pleading heavens to give him strength.

“Oh god, I am such an idiot…”

“No, you’re not,” you protested immediately, finding his hand to cover it with yours. Oh, how quickly your roles reversed, you soothing him now.

He looked at you, still not quite believing you had done all that. His eyes scanned your form, your face still damp from the tears you had shed, your eyes red-rimmed from crying, dark bruising under. But regaining at least a little of your confidence, you had grown right in front of his eyes. You were incredible. How had he ever doubted that? How had he ever deserved you?

“Really? Because I was being jealous instead of asking what was the visit about, my ego was hurting and I was hurting, and I was too blinded by my petty feeling of betrayal to see what you were doing. And then I honestly thought you just left me – that all we had meant nothing to you all of sudden. I thought the worst of you and I was too damn proud to comply with the single wish you had. I didn’t even read your letter. Which part of that does not make me a complete idiot?”

You bit your lip, lowering your gaze to your joined your hands, caressing it softly. It made Steve’s heart grow in size – but it still didn’t make him less of a jackass, it actually made him feel worse at the same time, because it wasn’t your place to offer comfort to him, it was supposed to be the other way around.

“The part in which feelings aren’t petty and make us human,” you whispered hoarsely, a tiny spark appearing in your eyes, disappearing all too fast. “I wanted to drop it all – the moment you looked at me when I-- when I froze you and the… the look in your eyes at the airport. It was the worst part of it all. You thinking… thinking that I’m a scum.”

Steve had never shaken his head so abruptly as the moment you called yourself a scum. His hand slipped from under yours, only to frame your face with his palms, making you look into his eyes. He was the one feeling like a scum at the moment, because… you hadn’t been that far from the truth and he didn’t think he had ever felt so ashamed for his previous thoughts like at this very moment.

“No. Hey, look at me. You— I was-- I wasn’t thinking straight. I was hurt and felt betrayed and I was disappointed, yes, but never ever-” he emphasized, staring into your eyes as if there was nothing more important in this world. And it wasn’t. “-have I thought you were--- that. And I’m sorry that I doubted you for even a moment.”

Your eyes turned glassy again under his intense stare, so many emotions written in it. You couldn’t bear it, you wanted to look away, but he wouldn’t let you, holding your gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated firmly and you finally managed to close your eyes to escape.

It was when he did one of the boldest moves ever. Without a single hint of permission, after your relationship had suffered an enormous hit and with him not having a clue how you felt about him now, he pressed his lips firmly to yours, stealing your breath away.

He didn’t know what he had expected, but the hesitant response turning into an eager one within few seconds was not it. Your hands flew to his hair, interlacing in them and pulling him closer, your mouth opening for him almost immediately. He sighed at the unexpected sensation, a shiver of excitement running through his body. Your mouth was hot and wanting against his, one of your hands trailing down his chest; when it stopped above his navel, he found himself silently groaning in disappointment.

It was also when he realized where the hell you were and how much audience you had. His fingers twisted in your hair – god, he missed that – and he withdrew just slightly, setting a slower pace and putting some distance between you two. You seemed to get the memo, because you gently caressed his abdomen over the fabric of his t-shirt, separated from his lips and rested your forehead against his. You were both out of breath, panting.

Steve opened his eyes first, only to see your lips kiss-swollen and parted as you fought for a little air, your eyes still closed as if you were trying to regain some composure. His lizard brain whispered more and he listened, kissing you one more time; but at least wary of keeping the kiss socially acceptable this time. It was next to impossible to part again.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed out and Steve looked at you, once again confused.

“For?”

You licked your lips, the movement utterly and unfairly distracting. He retreated and your eyes snapped opened as you cleared your throat.

“I honestly don’t know where we go from here – and now I mean… like… the two of us, but… I’m sorry. They took all of our personal belongings,” you whispered, embarrassed and pissed off a bit.

Steve tilted his head to side, not following. Yeah, he knew that. Why were you pointing it out?

“…okay?”

“All of it. Including… including jewellery.”

“Oh,” he let out intelligently, his heart expanding in his chest with hope.

Really? Was it possible that-… really? Sure, the kiss you just shared was nothing sort of loving, you had cleared things out and maybe it should hint him, but…

“I mean... I know you're probably angry with me-“

“Would you still want it?” he breathed out, astonished. He was trying to fight the euphoria creeping into his voice, no doubt showing on his face, but he couldn’t help it. “After what happened? After I... thought you turned your back to me, after I left you behind even when knowing you actually didn't? After I became a criminal?”

“I am a criminal too, Steve. And… I told you to go. You didn’t want to, because you're not leaving people behind. And you came back. I… I love you. Of course I’d still want it.”

He felt his lips curl up in a smile that mirrored only a fraction of the surge of joy in his veins. You didn’t seem to follow why. The declaration alone would be enough to make him feel like this, but… well. At least the little delay in the rescue had been worth it.

“Why are you smiling like that?” you asked him warily, hesitant raise of the corners of your lips lighting up your face as well.

Steve reached into his pocket, drawing a thin chain with a ring out, holding it out between the two of you. You gasped in awe, watching the chain you had bought to protect your ring while fighting wide-eyed.

“How-?”

“When I asked the guard about it, he looked at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I am,” he explained with a shrug and you chuckled incredulously, biting your lip.

“May I... may I wear it?”

Steve had honestly no clue how you could be asking such a stupid question. He observed your features that seemed to come alive, finally back to your usual self – the sunshine in even the darkest place.

And that thought gave him a stop; he was in a pretty dark place at the moment and he didn’t think it would get any better any time soon.

“I… I’m in a terrible mess, Snowflake. I’m probably the most wanted criminal in the world now. Are you sure?”

You cleared your throat significantly. “Steve, allow me to remind you that I am a fugitive too. That’s the first thing. The second thing… you’ve done nothing wrong – the whole criminal thing is just a word, a label someone gave you. And the third thing… I know what I’m signing up for. I knew you were trouble – for a good cause – when I said yes the first time. I knew you were trouble long before I fell in love with you. So yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“God, I love you so much,” Steve murmured before he could even think of anything else.

As he freed the ring so he could slip it back on your ring finger, you held out your trembling left hand for him. It wasn’t fear – it was excitement all over again. Too many emotions to contain. Steve felt the same. He was stunned, moved, and felt so incredibly loved and strong with you by his side that there weren’t any better words to say anyway.

He enclosed your hand in his when the ring was on place, bringing them to his lips only to plant a kiss over the thin metal. It made you smile like a madwoman.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Sam Wilson fist-bump with Scott Lang. You hid your face in Steve’s chest with silent laugh.

You had no idea what the future held for you now – you could only guess that it wouldn’t be exactly pretty. But as long you were not about to face it alone, you were ready and determined to fight all the battles coming your way.

────── ·❆· ──────

S.R. masterlist

Hell Froze Over (next in the series)

────── ·❆· ──────

Thank you for reading!

Someone once told me that fluff is my default setting. They weren’t wrong. I know mini-series was a bit different and with shorter chapters, but hopeflly, you enjoyed nevertheless.

Sequel ahead, this one a longer one! Title’s Hell Froze Over... I can promise you a new enhanced on the scene, some fluff, some angst... the usual :-*

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #steve rogers imagine #captain america x imagine #steve rogers #captain america #mcu #marvel #avenger reader #melting hearts #5 times steve felt betrayed #anika ann

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vintagedolan · 4 years

Text

mixtape | track ten

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Indiana’s mental health class was in her first semester in the pre-med program. Abnormal Psychology, PSY 249, in a stuffy room in a building on the far side of campus. She’d hated it. College was supposed to be challenging, her program was supposed to be the most rigorous, and yet the class was a breeze. They went through condition after condition - depression, PTSD, anxiety, schizophrenia. The inner workings of the brain, the chemical imbalances, the medications that would help people come back to themselves. She passed the class with a 101%, stowed the knowledge in a seperate folder in her brain for safe keeping, and moved on at the end of the course. But she kept one piece of paper out, one piece of knowledge that didn’t make sense.

Voluntary Emotional Detachment. It was a relatively new idea in the world of psychology, seeing that many of its characteristics could fall under depression. That wasn’t what confused Indy. No, that came when her professor lectured on the voluntary portion.

“Emotional Detachment is a useful tool sometimes, when it’s used purposefully. For example, if you have a toxic family member in your life, you may voluntarily emotionally detach yourself from them. It’s a defense mechanism, especially during times of trauma. You’ll find yourself numb, unable to feel even if you wanted to. It happens with loss sometimes as well, where you can’t feel the gravity of what you’re losing. Your mind knows what it can withstand, and sometimes, it pulls back. It shields you from the cruel world we live in. It protects.”

Indy had scoffed in her seat, so loud that her professor looked at her and frowned, which was enough to have her blushing red and keeping her head down as she scribbled notes for the rest of the class.

It was the one time she’d ever been reprimanded by an academic authority. Professor Upton pulled her aside before she could escape out of the lecture hall doors.

“Ms. Cross. You seem like a bright girl, but I don’t appreciate the disrespect.”

“I’m very sorry professor, it won’t happen again.” Indiana had practically stumbled over the words to get them out, her palms sweaty on her backpack strap as she held it on her shoulder.

Indy had a million explanations, but she knew that her professor didn’t care to hear them. And they were lies anyway. The true reason she’d scoffed was something she didn’t want to share.

It was because her professor had made it seem so easy, to just turn it off. Emotionally pull the plug, to sever your ties to someone.

She’d scoffed because if her brain had the capability, and it hadn’t moved to protect her when her mother died, shielded her from the aftermath of unimaginable pain that she’d endured, she wasn’t so sure that she was at all intelligent after all.

But she understood why now.

It was because her mother dying had made sense.

Not in the grand scheme of things. Not in a karma driven universe - there was no justifying losing a light as bright as Nicole Cross in a world that had checks and balances, a world that cared.

But physically, it had made sense.

Nicole’s cancer started in her pancreas. Stage III when they found it. 13.3% survival rate. And it spread like wildfire. Indiana threw herself into her books, looked for anything, some medical breakthrough that someone had missed. She looked into drug trials, she looked into synthetic pancreas research. All the while, her mother’s cancer took over cell by cell, multiplied and multiplied the way cells are built to. And when it reached her brain, it took over her brainstem.

When it got to that point, Indiana heard the four words that she would never forget.

“She’s done. We’re done.”

They had echoed out, bouncing off the bleached linoleum, making a cold room even colder. Her father’s voice had never sounded so unfamiliar, and she was glad that her mother was sedated when she broke down. There was no detachment, only raw, searing pain unlike anything she had ever experienced. She sunk to the floor, ragged sobs finally breaking free when she realized what she’d known was coming was finally happening.

The fight was over. It was time to let go.

Charlie hadn’t cried. No, Charlie stood still as stone in the corner of the room, eyes unblinking as she stared at the shell of her mother in her hospital bed and willed it to be a dream, a nightmare that she would finally wake up from.

And then, she remembered where she was. She remembered who she was. And she picked her little sister up off the floor and held her in her arms, like she always had when Indiana was hurting.

Without the vital cues from that little piece of Nicole’s brain telling them to, her heart stopped beating and her lungs stopped asking for air, and she died.

And it made sense.

This didn’t make sense. His words made no sense.

There was no one to hold Indiana Cross now, and she had a new set of four words that would haunt her.

“I can’t do this.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Six days. Grayson’s thoughts ate him alive for six whole days. He lived through the odd limbo that the world seemed to find itself in on the days between Christmas and New Years. A pause in the spin on the axis, a time to reflect on everything the year had brought, and what the next one had to offer.

Even in his daze, Grayson could only remember one other December he’d tried to hold onto so hard.

His father’s face was at the forefront of his mind, but not the images that he wanted to see. All he saw was a look of disappointment in his eyes with each hour that Grayson’s lips stayed pressed together while Indiana rested, oblivious in his arms. He towed the selfish line of wanting to enjoy the last days he had with her while his guilt threatened to drown him with every breath he dared to take. He hid it well, as he always did when he really needed to. They had their date nights, with movies and postmates since he still didn’t want her out in public with him. They stayed in the tiny house again to enjoy nature, snuck into Jet’s a few times. He smiled when he was supposed to, went through the motions that were expected of him. It had worked for him before, for videos, for time with friends when all he wanted to do was sit in his room and speak to no one. The only person he could never fool was Ethan, who kept his distance, but stayed close enough to keep his eyes on him. He thought he had everyone but his twin fooled.

But Indiana noticed. Indiana always noticed.

Nicole had called it the curse of intelligence when she was younger.

“Sometimes,” she’d said. “When you know too much about how the world works, how people work, you see things you aren’t supposed to. You understand things you aren’t supposed to.”

Indiana was 12 at the time, sitting on the other side of the kitchen table.

“What do you mean mom? How can you know too much?”

“You’ll know one day. You’ll see.”

The way she’d said it made Indy sit her fork down, her stomach suddenly tight.

And now she’d seen.

On New Years Eve, Indiana Cross leaned in to kiss her boyfriend as the clock struck midnight, on her couch in her apartment, with her picture frames on the shelf over their heads and the sound of fireworks outside her window.

Grayson didn’t lean in.

He leaned back, and he spoke.

“I can’t do this.”

Indiana took a breath. In. Out. Filled her lungs and emptied them again.

She’d noticed. But she hadn’t let herself believe it. She’d pushed every little nuance she’d seen, every time that Grayson’s eyes didn’t catch the smile he tried to put on his face the last few days- she’d pushed it to the back of her mind and justified it. He was just worried about leaving, he was just stressed about Bekah like she was, he was just tired. She’d seen every sign and she’d justified it.

She swallowed air, her throat painfully dry.

“What?”

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

Indiana did what she always did, what she’d always done her entire life when anything didn’t make sense, when anything went slightly off track.

She tried to understand why.

She racked her brain for everything that she’d done, every syllable she’d spoken, and every movement she’d made since that first day at Frazier outside, with him in his green pants on the bench, and her with two Jet’s coffee’s in her hands.

Her fingers were cold as she pressed her hands together. There was a finality in his tone that had her chest tight, her ribs pressed together, muscles pushing on bones and squeezing everything until she felt like she was going to suffocate. She opened her mouth.

“Oh.”

Grayson had his head in his hands, leaned over his knees on the couch. He shook in an unfamiliar way, like he was choking, and it took Indy a moment to realize that he was crying.

She felt like she was in a dream, watching what was happening to her from the outside. It was like slow motion as she watched the girl on the couch curl in on herself, her walls reconstructing at ten times speed - he’d been so gentle with each brick that she didn’t even realize they’d been taken down. He spoke after a moment of heavy silence.

“I love you, but we can’t. I can’t do this to you.”

Her brain refused to process it, refused to even try to dissect it, and she spoke the only word she seemed to be able to find.

“Oh.”

“Indy I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I should have said something sooner, I wanted to, I’m an asshole for waiting this long.”

She swallowed and wrung her hands together.

“When is your flight?”

His tears streamed faster somehow as he blinked.

“Tomorrow afternoon. We have meetings on the 2nd.”

In. Out.

“What time?”

Grayson looked up. Indiana was sitting straight up, head up high. The only thing moving were her hands, which she kept squeezing together over and over. It scared him, to see his once bubbly girl so still while his tears continued to fall. He couldn’t read her.

“I’m not sure, I’d have to check. Dee, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She smiled her hospital smile, the one she used when she got bad news, and it was somehow worse than if she’d yelled at him.

“Indy.”

“It’s okay. C’mere, it’s okay.”

She opened up her arms for him, and she didn’t even seem to notice that they were shaking ever so slightly.

Grayson’s eyes were too blurry to see the quiver. He was fighting himself again, wagering whether sinking into her arms would only cause more damage in the long run. But he knew how it felt to be there, and he wagered that it would be worth whatever hellish guilt it was sure to bring later. So he leaned in, and just a single touch from her had him sobbing again. He pressed his face into her shoulder with so much force that she fell backwards a bit, and suddenly they were intertwined with him above her on the couch.

His pain was physical. She could feel it, in the way his body shook and paused when he tried to suck in a breath that his lungs desperately needed, the wet hot air soaking through her shirt with every exhale he choked out. His tears were warm, the salt already stiffening the fabric that soaked them up. Her hands found his back, and she lifted a finger to his skin before she paused.

She didn’t know what to write anymore.

Instead, she moved her hand to his hair, scratching at his scalp, holding him steady. He was heavy against her and she closed her eyes, felt him there with her, took in the weight of him.

“Shhhh. It’s okay.” We’re okay. “You’re okay.”

Her words only made Grayson cry harder when he realized what she was doing. He came back to himself for a moment when he realized that all the shaking wasn’t him. He could feel the way she held onto him and shook, so subtle that he could tell she was fighting it. His stomach churned at the thought of how bad her pain must be if it was causing a reaction in her body, and he moved to push himself up.

“Indy.”

She clung to him, panic breaking through the protective numbness that had taken hold so quickly. If it was the last time she was going to get to hold him, she’d hoped it would have lasted just a bit longer.

But she took a deep breath and she let him go, forced her arms to release him.

It hurt worse to see his face again, see the pain in his puffy eyes. She reached back out for him, swiped her thumb across his cheek to catch a tear. Her fingers got distracted in the feeling of his scruff, and she scratched over it for a moment, indulging herself, willing herself to remember the way it felt on her fingertips.

“It’s okay.” It was a reflex to her, and she couldn’t stop herself from saying it.

“It’s not though. Indy, it’s not okay. I’m hurting you.”

She didn’t have a response to that. Her eyes fell to her lap, picking at her fingernails.

“I’ll be okay.” It was a lie, but she would have said anything to bring some of the light back to his eyes. Her pain she could manage, but his was her breaking point.

“Please don’t do that. Please don’t pretend on this.” He brought in a shaky breath, blowing it out quickly.

In. Out.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to scream. I want you to be pissed at me, I want you to be mad that I waited this long to tell you! You haven’t even asked why,” he cried. Indy wondered for a moment why it always hurt more to see boys cry. It seemed to be more painful for them somehow - heavier.

“I think I know why.”

He sat up a bit more at her words. Waiting.

“It was a chance thing, you being here. Us meeting. Your life is entirely different than mine, and you have your people in LA. There’s… I mean there’s plenty of girls there who don’t have the stuff I have. Class, work -” Her voice cracked at the end, Grayson’s outline blurring just a bit as she looked up.

“No. No no no, hey,” he stopped her, hands hovering over her for a moment before he gave in and rested them on her arms, holding her without fully pulling her in. “It’s not that. I promise you, it has nothing to do with anyone else. I want you, I don’t want anyone else. But I know you, and your dreams are here, and I’m not gonna take that away from you.”

Indiana’s confusion only grew. She’d only heard one thing he’d said.

“You want me?” Her voice sounded pitiful, even to own ears.

“Of course I do.” He spoke it like it was the only possible truth, and a flicker of hope rose in her gut, fighting it’s way up. “Indy of course I do.”

“Then… why?”

“Remember when we went to LA?”

His words brought back a flood of memories. The two of them kissing in the ocean, the secret beach, sleeping in his bed with his green wall, piggyback rides around the house, the late night Cudi drives.

“Yeah.”

“You remember how much you hated it there? How bad you wanted to come back home? And what did I promise you?”

Indy couldn’t find her voice. Her brain was otherwise occupied, watching her memories being drug through dark ink, staining them.

“I promised you I would never ask you to leave New York.” He finished it for her. “And I meant it. But I can’t stay here Indiana, no matter how bad I want to.”

“Your life is in LA.” She repeated her words from earlier, monotone and unattached. Her heart fought with her, begged her to tell him everything. Tell him that she was going to start working at Jets and start therapy so she could fly out to see him. Tell him that she was halfway through her UCLA application essay that she’d been working on on nights he fell asleep before her. Tell him that she’d drop everything and follow him anywhere.

“You’re the most giving person I’ve ever met. You give so much to everyone but yourself. But I’m not letting you give up your life for anyone, especially not me.”

She wanted to be mad that he assumed that she would. But there was an understanding, a sadness in his eyes that reminded her that he knew her better than she had ever realized.

“We could make it work.”

He looked like he wanted to believe her.

“You deserve someone who is here for you.”

“You’re here for me.” Her mouth was starting to outrun her mind, a dangerous game that she usually couldn’t stop once it had begun.

“You deserve someone who is here to celebrate your accomplishments every day, not someone in a different time zone on the other side of the country.”

“We could make it work.” It was more of a plea that time, and she saw it register across his face, the pain it caused him.

“Indy.”

“People do long distance all the time, we could do it.”

“We aren’t long distance people,” he said, but Indy’s mind was already running.

“We could set up a facetime schedule, and you wouldn’t have to visit that much, I’ll be busy with school anyways. And if we hate it, then we can stop. We just have to try, we’re never gonna know unless we try it.”

Grayson was silent for a minute, which was enough of an answer. He’d known this was coming. Ethan had warned him that it would happen, that Indiana would try to reason her way through it. He’d told his brother that he had to be confident in his choice or he’d get swayed off course.

Grayson wasn’t sure he’d even be confident in his choice to remove himself from the best person he’d ever known. But knowing that in the long run it would be better for her was the only thing that let him cling to the last bit of resolve he had.

“Indy.”

Her lip quivered, and he felt his heart crack.

“Please,” she said.

“C’mere. Just c’mere.”

It wasn’t a surrender, but an offering of comfort. Indy knew it would hurt her later, but she didn’t have the willpower to resist it. She crawled into his lap, and the last of the numbness that had started faded away. In his familiar arms, she lost her last semblance of control.

She crumpled into his shoulder, broken sobs shaking her frame as she clung to him, let him hold her as she wrapped herself around him, as if it would somehow make him stay.

He rocked her as she sobbed, accidentally pressing a kiss to her shoulder before he realized what he was doing. It was torture in the rawest form, worse than he could have expected to be the cause of her pain.

“I’m so sorry Indy, I’m so sorry,” he whispered to her over and over, hoping she believed him. She pressed her face against his neck to keep her eyes closed, pretending for a moment that everything was fine.

“I love you.”

The tears returned to his eyes, and in a moment of weakness he turned and pressed a kiss to her hair, her temple. His lips had missed her.

“I love you too Indiana Cross.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again.

Her finger traced against his back. F-O-R-E-V-E-R. She wished she could erase it somehow when his breath caught in his throat again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and he shook his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His voice was muffled by her skin, seeing that he was unwilling to lean back from her.

“I know this is hurting you too,” she said, and was met with the feeling of more of his tears on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“The only thing you did was make me love you too much. Don’t be sorry for that.”

The way her heart squeezed wasn’t natural, and though she knew the phenomenon wasn’t as everyone said, she was sure it skipped a beat in her chest. She squeezed him tighter to her, like she had so many times. She synced her breathing to his, laid her head on his shoulder, committed the sound of his heartbeat to memory.

Their tears dried out over the next hour, the numbness of acceptance starting to blanket over them. Neither of them dared to move a muscle, Grayson especially. All he did was rub his hand over her back, up and down the same as he had been since she climbed into his lap. They both knew that moving would mean having to figure out what to do next.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Indy wasn’t sure, and she was scared to look at a clock, to see her fleeting time left with him wasting away.

“Did you pack your bag already?” Her voice was too loud even though it was barely above a whisper, pulling them back into the reality they wanted to avoid.

“Yeah. It’s at home.”

Indy could see it in her head, his Jersey room, quiet and waiting for him with his orange duffle on the bed. But her stomach filled with a wave of nausea as she realized what it meant.

“So you have to go home.”

Grayson’s hand paused on her back. She was holding her breath.

“I… I didn’t know if you would want me to stay.” It was the first time he could remember not knowing what to say to her.

Her arms tightened around him, her breathing getting a little bit more ragged. He ran his hands over her back quickly, desperate to soothe her.

“Shh, shh hey, I’m staying. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yet.” She whispered, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he flinched. “Sorry, that was harsh.”

“Not undeserved,” he said, turning and resting his cheek against her shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. So whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”

Indy sat up. Her eyes had settled a bit, her tears washing the jellyfish blue into a shade of navy that Grayson didn’t recognize. It made his breath catch in his chest.

“Whatever I need?”

“Whatever you need.”

She looked at him, and her head tilted to the side just slightly. A small smile tried to make its way to her face, but her lips quivered.

“Could you kiss me?”

He paused, watching her fight off her tears with a deep breath.

“Is that what you need?”

“Just… just one. I didn’t know, you know. That the last one was gonna be the last one. And we’re here, and I just thought, that maybe - ”

He kissed her. For the first time, he was hesitant. He kept his hands to his sides, not wanting to push anything too far, not wanting to make anything worse somehow. Indy barely reacted either, too nervous to do something wrong.

They pulled back from each other, breathing shallow, nerves taking over as they tried to figure out what to do.

“Thank you,” Indiana said.

Grayson swallowed hard, watched her eyes as they flickered between his own.

And then they were kissing. Really kissing, chasing the taste of each other like air at the end of a sprint. His hands went to her face, holding her to him as her hands went to his torso, bunched up his shirt and tried to pull him into her, closer somehow despite the fact that they were already touching everywhere that they could be. The desperation was palpable, in the way their hands roamed and fell back into their familiar patterns. Indy sucked in the first real breath she’d taken in since the clock had struck midnight, breathed him in as best she could, trying to lose herself in him like she always had. But her mind wouldn’t shut off, reminding her that it could really be the last time she had him like this.

He felt her tears, first on his thumb that was holding her cheek, and then against his own skin. It took all his willpower to pull back from her lips. She let him, her breathing shaky as she tucked her face back down into his neck.

He picked her up effortlessly, standing up from the couch and moving them to her room. The Cudi vinyls seemed to mock him, especially when he laid down and stared up at them on their small shelves. Indy didn’t move an inch, staying wrapped around him, laying on top of him when he rested back against the pillows.

Time moved quickly, and Indy still avoided the clocks, scared to see what had already passed.

Grayson wanted to hear her voice. Wanted her to talk to him, wanted to commit every single thing she said to memory, but he wouldn’t ask. She had given him enough.

He closed his eyes, focused on the feeling of her fingers over his shirt, tried to make out what shapes she was drawing like he always did. He felt her hands travel up higher, up his neck to his skin, scratching over his beard.

Her fingertips were gentle as they moved up, over his lips, around his cheek to his eyelids, down over his nose, then to the other side of his face. She traced the pattern a few times, and Grayson waited until she was on his nose to speak.

“What’re you drawing?”

“You,” she said. “Memorizing.”

He didn’t know how he still had more tears to make, but they started to fall anyways, down the side of his face over his temples.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

“I know. I wish you could stay just a little bit longer.”

“Me too.”

He traced a heart on the back of her arm.

“I love you too.”

The truth of it was, she didn’t know how to not love him, and that was the scary part of it all. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t love him with everything she had in her.

She didn’t know who she was without it anymore.

“If you ever change your mind, I’ll be here you know,” she said. He took in a deep breath, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

Her heart sank.

“That’s not fair,” he said. “I can’t ask you to do that, to wait for me. I’m not going to string you along, that’s cruel. Once I’m back in LA, I want you to move on.”

Indy shook her head against him, burying her face in his chest.

“No.”

“Indy.”

“No.” Her brain refused to process it, to imagine a single scenario where she felt anything good without Grayson by her side. She knew it wasn’t healthy, and she vowed to never tell anyone but in that moment, she reserved herself to be miserable every minute that she wasn’t with him.

“I know it’s not gonna be easy, but you deserve to be happy. And I’m sorry that I’m gonna make that harder, but you’ll find somebody who can love you better than I do.”

“Does that mean you’re going to just move on when you get back to LA? Just forget about me?” There was a spite in her voice that she didn’t like hearing in her own voice. But Grayson didn’t flinch. It was almost reliving to him. He was getting what he deserved, what he’d earned for breaking her heart.

Her anger meant she cared.

“Indiana I’m never going to forget you. If you think I could, I was an even worse boyfriend than I thought.”

“No, don’t do that.” She pushed off his chest and sat up. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make me think that the last three months were bad. That’s the last thing I have to hold onto. Those were the best months of my life, you don’t get to take that.”

Grayson didn’t have an answer.

“Okay.”

“You made this decision for the both of us, I don’t get a say in it. So I’ll hold onto it as long as I fucking want to. You don’t get to tell me I have to move on.”

“Okay.”

“Okay then,” Indy said, reaching up to wipe a tear away. She sucked in a breath and pushed it out through shaky lips, trying to hold herself together.

“Sorry.”

Grayson shook his head. “Indiana you can be mad at me. You should be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you.”

She knew it wasn’t in the way that he meant. Because she wasn’t mad that he’d broken up with her. Because deep down, under all the pain and all the love and all the worry, she knew he was doing it for her. He was doing what she would never have the guts to do, even if it was the right thing.

No, she was mad at him for infiltrating every single part of her. Every thought, every muscle, every cell of her body contained him. Every hope she had for her future was molded around him. He was there in everything. His curls were in the dreams she had about her future children. His smile in the back of her mind every time she closed her eyes. His eyes, bright and green, always there.

“Do you want me to leave?” There was no malice in his tone, only genuine concern.

She pondered it for a moment. Thought about what it would look like, for him to actually walk out the door and never come back through it.

“No.”

“Okay. Then I’ll stay.”

“I can drive you to the airport. So Ethan doesn’t have to come into the city.”

“Okay. I’ll tell him.”

“Okay.”

They stared at each other for a moment, staying very still, waiting for one of them to make a decision.

“We should probably sleep.” Grayson checked his watch. “It’s 4am.”

“Okay.”

Another pause. Another moment of uncertainty that they’d never had to navigate.

“Do you want me to take the couch?”

She shook her head, and with a sigh, she gave in. Grayson could finally breathe again when she settled against him, pushing her hand up under his shirt, running her fingers over his ribs. He wrapped her up in his arms tightly, focused on the feeling of the weight of her on him.

And he closed his eyes.

His alarm went off at 9:45. As soon as it sounded, Indy turned her face into his chest, a new wave of tears coming forward as the realization hit her

It was time to let go.

He just held her and kissed her head for as long as he could. She didn’t know if she’d slept. If she had, it was only for a few moments. She’d kept waking up, reminding herself that he was still there.

They barely spoke. No one ate breakfast. He hadn’t brought a change of clothes, and parts of his shirt were stiff from the saltwater of both their tears. It took all the strength he had to keep it together when he closed the apartment door behind him for the last time.

She took his hand in the elevator, and his tears fell, making his cheeks even colder when they walked outside. It felt odd, for him to climb into the passenger seat with her in the driver’s as they continued down the road. His mind was flooded with memories, with doubts. He couldn’t stop picturing the smile that would spread across her face if he told her that he’d changed his mind, that they could try.

He fought it, kept his mouth shut, reminded himself that this was his decision and he had to deal with the repercussion of it.

Indy was quiet too, evidence of her earlier decision to not hurt him anymore than she already had. She didn’t want to make it any harder on either of them. No matter what, she still loved him, and she didn’t like to see him hurting. She kept herself superficially distracted, focused on the colors of the cars that passed, and the number of the exits on the highway.

The airport had never come quicker.

Grayson’s chest tightened when they pulled off. He couldn’t ignore it anymore, couldn’t push it down and stay strong like his dad had always told him to. An image of him hugging her goodbye over her console came to his mind, and he panicked.

“Would you want to come in? Like park and come in? I know you hate airports, and you can say no. But… I’d like to give you one last good hug before I go.”

She merged into the lane that led to the parking as her tears began to fall. He ran his thumb over her hand until they got out. They found each other again behind the car, Indy linking her arm around his and holding on as tight as she could as they walked. She was ten times more anxious than the last time she had walked into an airport, her usual pertifying fear of Grayson being on a plane the least painful part.

It was hard to keep her sobs quiet but she bit them back as best she could. Grayson heard them, shifted so he had his arms wrapped around her as they walked. Her eyes were blurry with tears but she noticed the bright yellow and orange bags before she spotted Ethan. He gave her a sad smile that she did her best to return. From the look of pity in his eyes, it was even worse than she thought.

Her vision was obscured by Grayson, who moved in front of her. She clung to the front of his jacket with both hands, unable to look him in the eyes. She didn’t know if she could handle it.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered, tears so full that they dripped off her chin and onto her shirt.

“I’m so sorry.” His own eyes burned as he watched her. But her next words caused the worst pain he’d felt in a long time.

“Can we have a redo?” As her voice shook, his last barrier fell, and he was sobbing - the kind you try to choke back and keep quiet as he crushed her against him, burying his face in her hair.

“Not this time baby. Not this time.”

They weren’t sure how they could cry harder, but they did. He swayed as he held her, tight and warm. Ethan wiped his own tears away with his jacket sleeve as he checked the boarding time on the tickets.

“I love you. So much,” she said.

“I love you too. I’m so sorry. If you ever need me... “ he trailed off, unsure if his offer would only hurt them both more down the road. She understood what he meant, and she took a deep breath. In. Out.

“Right now, I need you to turn around, and I need you to walk away, or I’m never going to be able to let you go.”

“Okay.”

He didn’t move. She finally looked up at him and held herself together, determined to look at his face in person for the last time without the distortion of tears.

“Take care of yourself, okay? Be safe. Be happy. I’m always gonna love you.” Her voice was as steady as she could make it, and that somehow hurt him worse.

“Forever,” he whispered, and then he was kissing her. He wrapped her up in his arms as tightly as he could, held her to him until he forced himself away, only keeping a hold of her hand.

Ethan, always in tune with his brother, seemed to recognize his cue.

Indy nodded and squeezed his hand one more time, and then she let him go, their fingers tracing over one anothers until they fell away, the distance too much.

A numbness spread over her body as soon as he let her go, and she watched from her spot as he disappeared down the hallway and into the security line.

She didn’t remember getting back to her car. But somehow, she managed to crawl inside and lock the doors before she crumpled forward onto her steering wheel.

#mixtape #this one is a doozy #love you guys #can't believe it's already track ten #wild wild wild #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction

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shewillreadyou · 3 years

Text

Being: Chapter 2-Back at one

As always. I hope that you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

A/N: This is the answer to my very FIRST ASK!!!

Also, this is the long awaited 2nd chapter to my new TRR series “Being” it will follow Liam and Karis on their adventures as monarchs and new parents. I think it should be sweet. Thank you to @secretaryunpaid for pre-reading part of this chapter and being a HUGE inspiration.

Disclaimers: Most characters are property of Pixelberry

Warnings: If you are under 18 please, just don’t. Language, adult content and some NSFW.

Word Count: 4100 ish

Catch up: Chapter 1

Pairings: Liam x MC (Queen Karis Rose Vasquez-Rhys)

Song inspiration: Back at One- Brian McKnight

Be Kind: Hit the heart button, leave a comment or reblog. It makes a writer so so happy.

Months had passed since their fairytale wedding and romantic honeymoon. They had returned to face the music concerning their pregnancy. Ana De Luca, a long time acquaintance of the crown had paid a paparazzi for private photos of Karis laying on the beach with her growing bump exposed. Adonis agreed to give her the exclusive in return for the pictures and a bit more time to announce their big news on their own terms.

The day had come for the press conference. The PR team for the royals only told the press that their monarchs had big news to share. Security at Valtoria was so airtight that only people on a short list were allowed on the grounds. The press was only allowed for the announcement and had a short time thereafter to vacate the premises. Adonis arranged for a team of stylists to make sure his queen was presentable for this potentially stressful day. Karis was carrying their heir in her hips. Her bump was still modest for someone 8 months along. Perez, the designer responsible for her wedding dress and his seamstress Enoch, dressed her in an off the shoulder, floor length, royal blue gown that hugged her curves.

Adonis was sure his heart skipped a beat when he laid eyes on his bride. She was sitting at the vanity inside their bedroom putting on the blue sapphire and diamond earrings he gifted her for Christmas. “Love, I have no words,” he said as he kissed her cheek, not daring to ruin the makeup that had taken nearly an hour to perfect. “It’s time,” he announced as he took her hand. “Both Kenyon and I will be by your side the entire time. I will make the announcement and we will take a few questions from the press before the celebration.”

Kenyon was posted outside her door. He smiled at Karis before clearing his throat. “Your maaajesty! You look--“ Liam scowled at Kenyon who immediately trained his eyes forward. “Appropriate for the occasion. You look very appropriate.” Karis laughed as Adonis brooded. They headed down to the grand ballroom, where they had a photo shoot with Ana, capturing the momentous occasion. When they were done they joined the press on the east lawn.

Royal trumpeters played before the royal crier announced, “Their Majesties, King Liam and Queen Karis Rhys of Cordonia.” Karis’ hand rested in the crook of his arm as he escorted her to the podium. He looked deeply into her eyes, and her nerves seemed to settle. “People of Cordonia, before I took our queen as my bride, she was made aware of her responsibilities as she serves in this role. She has humbly trained under Queen mother Regina not only soaking up her role and responsibilities, but our culture. I had no doubt that she would be the queen that Cordonia needed. She had, even during our engagement, stepped up to the plate and excelled far beyond what I could have hoped or asked of her.

I am aware that some have noticed that her majesty has been missing from the public as of late. Today, we have gathered here on the same grounds where my parents made this same announcement many years ago. Without further ado, Queen Karis and I would like to announce the coming of the royal heir to the throne of Cordonia.” Karis stepped from behind the podium resting her left hand on her bump to wave at the crowd. The news was met with a rapturous applause, whistling and cheers.

The afternoon was filled with congratulatory fluff, indulgent food, and schmoozing with Cordonia’s upper crust. As promised, Kenyon didn’t leave Karis’ side. When she had her fill, per usual, Adonis was nowhere to be found. After fruitlessly searching the estate for her King, Kenyon escorted Karis to the master suite. She rested her swollen feet on the chaise lounge. “Is there anything I can get for you or help you with, ma’am?” Karis shook her head. “Kenyon, I have told you a million times, you can call me Karis in private. And since you asked, yes. Can you please help me out of these heels? They are pretty but they stopped being comfy hours ago.” Kenyon hesitantly approached.

He gently pulled her swollen feet into his lap. After removing one sandal, Karis noticed a bulge in his pants. She didn’t think much of it, he had never said or done anything inappropriate, as his large hands fumbled with the buckle on the second one. The door opened and Adonis entered the room; his eye immediately fell upon Kenyon kneeling in front of Karis. “There you a-- what is the meaning of this?” Kenyon stood abruptly, Karis’ foot falling to the floor, but before he could speak, “I couldn’t find you love, and my feet are killing me. Kenyon was just being helpful.” Adonis looked between Kenyon and his very pregnant wife. “Thank you for your-- help, Kenyon but I got it from here,” Adonis said dismissively. “Of course, sir, I’ll be right outside if you need me, Karis,” Kenyon said as he exited the room.

Adonis gathered some pillows that were arranged on the bench at the foot of their bed. “Fuck you mean? And just why would she need you? I’m here,” he mumbled under his breath. “What’s that love?” she asked as he propped her feet on the pillows. “Nothing, the next time your feet hurt, call me,” he instructed as he poured himself a bourbon. She laughed. “Promise.” He put the tumbler down and disappeared into the closet. “I was just saying good evening to some of our guests, you know?”

When he returned he was carrying her favorite nightgown. He walked into the master ensuite before Karis heard bath water running. “Helpful my ass,” he muttered as he removed his cufflinks, placing them on the dresser. Karis watched as he undressed in the midst of his tantrum. His shirt fell off of his muscular shoulders and Karis’ breath hitched. Her eyes widened when his trousers fell to the floor. He approached her wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.He extended his hand, “come love, it’s bath time.”

He led her into the ensuite where he unzipped her gown, cursing quietly as it pooled on the marble floor. “Karis, you are a whole lotta woman,” he whispered in her ear as he unhooked her bra. Her full perky breast sprung free as he watched in the mirror. She shimmied out of her panties before he helped her into the full tub. She looked at him with hooded eyes. “Is there something on your mind, Adonis?” He slipped out of his underwear and into the tub. “I’m just thinking, maybe we should restructure the guards. Maybe, I can put Mara on you and maybe Kenyon would do better with Regina.”

“Wait, Mara the one who was supposed to be guarding Regina when she was kidnapped? Where did these thoughts come from?” Adonis pulled her foot out of the water as he began to massage her. “I think he is too comfortable with you, too familiar. Since when did he start calling you Karis?” She knitted her eyebrows together. “When I asked him to call me Karis. I spend a lot of time with him. It’s weird for him to call me Ma’am. Tell me you’re not jealous?” Adonis smiled smugly, “Of your guard? Ha!” he threw his head back in laughter. “Well, it seems that way.” She bit her lip, and batted her eyelashes as he took her big toe into his mouth circling it with his tongue before releasing it with a pop. “I am the KING of Cordonia, I have my health, wealth, and the finest woman walking this earth carrying my heir. Remind me again why I would be jealous of your guard?” She smirked. “Exactly,” she said as she attempted and failed miserably at getting out of the tub on her own.

Adonis grabbed her wrist pulling her soapy body down into his lap. “Hey, you know what? I’m sorry, I was out of line,” he swept her hair to the side exposing her neck before kissing it gently. “Do you forgive me?” His husky voice, his breath tickling her neck and the way his chest vibrated as he was pressed up against her back made it all but impossible to say no. “No,” she said it anyway. “Please,” he pleaded in a sensual whisper. “Forgive me Karis,” he growled. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head, no before she shifted in his lap. She felt his erection nearly impale her. She couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to get into reverse cowgirl right there in the tub. He started to roll his hips slowly as he apologized in different languages. “Scusa...Es tut uns leid...Pardon...Gomen’ nasai… Joesonghabnida...Lo siento,” he whispered into her hair.

His large hands began to knead her shoulders. Her eyes closed and her head fell back to rest on his shoulder. It felt heavenly, her soft mewing encouraged him. “I don’t get it, you are always so confident in everything you do,” she panted. He kissed her exposed neck gently as his hand moved down her torso and around her swollen belly into the water. “You still don’t get it, do you? I found my kryptonite,” he said as he cupped warm water in his hand and poured it over her belly. “You’re my kryptonite, Karis Rhys. The thought of some other man touching you, even looking at you, if only to help remove your shoe; it drives me to distraction. It certainly cracks my unyielding confidence.” She smiled, flattered by his words.

Her life to this point still seems like a dream. From meeting him at work, to spending that first night at her place with him. Losing him as suddenly as they connected. Reconnecting in Paris. The first time they made love, him buying the house in DC. The proposal in Paris, and their fairytale wedding. They have certainly had a whirlwind romance. He had been perfect, except she knew that no one is perfect. He was close. His hand gently slid across her thigh and found her center. He caressed her bundle of nerves before sliding into her as much as she could take. He tried his best to remind her with every thrust who she belonged to, her whimpers confirmed that she was fully aware.

The next few weeks seemed to fly by, Karis could be found putting away freshly laundered baby clothes, arranging diapers and wipes into the basket below the changing table, or fussing over the crib bedding. Adonis did everything in his power to keep her off her feet. She usually waited until he was in his morning meetings before heading into the nursery. She had scrubbed the kitchen, in their quarters, and dusted the newly decorated living, dining area.

When he returned from his meeting with the counsel, he found her vacuuming their bedroom. “Babygirl, what are you doing?” His voice boomed over the sound of the vacuum. She jumped before turning it off. “Karis, baby, my queen. We have talked about this. We have staff that can do this for you. You are supposed to be resting.” She waddled over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I am tired of lying in bed. I was trying to kill time before the new chapter of Foreign Affairs releases on the Choices app. Blaine is so hot,” she giggled as she fanned herself.

“I’m hotter,” he said as he walked his wife over to the bed. Instead of helping her lay down, his large hand splayed across her back gently bending her over the plush bedding. His other hand traveled up the soft smooth skin of her leg. Her silk nightgown gathered at her waist as he freed himself from his trousers. Just when she took a deep breath anticipating him entering her, he dropped to his knees to taste her. Within minutes her orgasm was within reach. “Adonis, I’m close,” she panted. His long digit joined his tongue in pursuit of her pleasure. She gasped before her body started to gently shake. He waited patiently as she rode out her first of three orgasms she would experience that afternoon.

When they were done, she was exhausted. His mission was accomplished. He hoped that she would sleep until he returned from his afternoon meeting in Fydelia. Kenyon was posted outside of her door. He had just returned from lunch when the King departed. It was like any other afternoon. Kenyon always took his lunch when he saw Liam “checking in” on Karis. It was always hard to look either of them in the eye afterward. Karis woke a couple hours after Adonis left with mild stomach discomfort. She drank the water that he had sent to her side table and turned on her side, which was the advice from Dr. Dameron the last time this happened.

She felt better a short time later. She smiled at Kenyon sheepishly as he shook his head. She was creeping down to the nursery. She wanted to make sure that the new packages that arrived had been put away. She didn’t think much of it, she would be back in bed before Adonis returned. Kenyon sat in the recliner on her insistence that he took a load off. She dropped a pair of baby socks that rolled under the chaise lounge. “I’ll get that,” he offered. “No, I can pick up a pair of socks,” she insisted. When she reached for the socks she didn’t feel anything. She got on her knees feeling triumphant when she located them under the lounge. She held the tiny grey socks in her hand as she attempted to get up from the floor. “See! I’m not helpless!” She stood proud of herself, while Kenyon chuckled at her theatrics.

Suddenly, a gush of warm fluid rushed down her leg. She looked at Kenyon with a look of horror on her face. “This can’t be happening. Adonis is not here. It’s a few weeks too soon.” Kenyon immediately stood taking control of the situation. “What happened?” She clutched her belly, taking a deep cleansing breath, “my water broke.” Once the initial shock wore off, Kenyon called the doctor as they rehearsed, before calling Liam. The phone went straight to voicemail. “Sir, this is Kenyon. It’s time. Dr. Dameron instructed us to head to the hospital immediately. I will try calling back once we are in route.” His next call was to Alexsei, Karis’ driver. “Alpha Rabbit has commenced. Meet me out front in 3 minutes.” He ended the call and turned to Karis, “look at me. We have gone over this. You are ready. Your bag is already in the truck.”

He moved to her side and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder for support. He flung the strap to her purse over his shoulder as they headed towards the stairs. She struggled to walk, stopping every few yards for a contraction. “If I’m not being too forward Ma’am, may I?” She nodded her head and Kenyon swept her into his arms, carrying her bridal style out to the truck.

“Where is Adonis?” she asked as she riffled through her purse with tears running down her face. “He’s at a meeting in Fydelia. His phone went to voicemail when I called. I left a message. I will try calling again.”

Karis took deep breaths like they taught her in the private child birthing lessons Adonis insisted on her attending. The pains had begun to come closer together and stronger with each instance. In between contractions she fruitlessly attempted to reach her husband. She wiped the tears from her eyes before Kenyon turned to her. “Everything is going to be ok, Ma’am.” She reached across the seat and patted the top of Kenyon’s hand flashing him a strained smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

21 minutes later they still hadn’t heard from Adonis. They were met at the private entrance of the hospital by a team of nurses who helped her into a wheelchair, and took her inside to the grand nursing suite where Liam was born 31 years earlier. Kenyon stood watch at the door while Karis gave a urine sample and changed into a silk hospital gown. They got her settled into bed and asked her if they could get her anything. Karis was terrified and alone. She kept thinking about how Adonis scolded her for allowing Kenyon to help her when she couldn’t find him.

There was a knock at the door that tore her from her thoughts. “Come in.” Kenyon entered the room with his hands over his eyes which were clenched tightly closed. “Good news Karis, I was able to get in touch with King Liam. He’s on the way.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Kenyon. You can uncover your eyes. I am covered.” He dropped his hand and slowly opened his eyes. “Are you, uhh comfortable? Did they do the back thing?” She looked at him, confused. “You mean an epidural?” He smiled sheepishly. “Yes, that’s what it’s called. It made my sister feel a lot better when my niece was born.” Just then another contraction started and she reached for his hand. He nervously looked over to the door before offering his hand. She squeezed his hand while breathing through the momentary pain. “I guess this means you didn’t get the drugs?”

When it was done she looked at him. “How long before Liam gets here? I’m scared, Kenyon. The contractions are getting closer and closer. I don’t want to have this baby alone.” His heart sank. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he was over an hour away in Fydelia. His eyes must have given it away, her eyes went from sad to panicked. “Kenyon, I know this is a lot to ask, but if he doesn’t make it here on time, will you stay with me?” He swallowed thickly considering what she just asked. He reached over and offered her tissue to dry her eyes. “Aww, come on Karis, don’t cry again, you’re killing me. He’s gonna be here.” he lied. He knew that there was the possibility that he wouldn’t make it. “But if not, of course, I’ll stay with you. But he’s gonna be here soon.”

Just then her purse fell to the floor from the chair. When Kenyon went to pick it up he discovered that it likely fell because of her phone violently vibrating from inside. “Oh, it’s your phone,” he announced. She extended her arm. “Well, pass it to me.” He instead passed her the entire purse. She looked at him with her brows knitted together. “What? My mom told me to never go in a woman’s purse.” She smiled as she pulled her phone from her purse. Another contraction came as she took deep breaths. When it passed she called Adonis back.

“Hey babe, it’s me.”

His voice was sorrowful.

“Babygirl, I’m so sorry. I never should have left you alone. Howard is driving as fast as he can to get me there. Just try to hold on.”

“Babe, don’t apologize, you had no way of knowing that this would happen today. Just get here safely. I’m scared.”

“I’m sorry you are there going through this alone. We are still about 35 miles out.”

“I’m not alone. Kenyon is here with me.”

Liam cleared his throat, “yeah, well, I will be there soon.”

“Adonis, I don’t know if I can do this. I’m not as strong as I thought. I’m kind of freaking out over here.”

“Karis, listen to me my Queen. You are so much stronger than you think. You are brave, and courageous. You can do anything. Don’t think too much. Just take it one contraction at a time. Remember your breathing.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Heh, I don’t know, but I don’t want to find out.”

“Another contraction is coming.”

‘Baby, focus on my voice. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

“Ok, it passed. Thank you. Kenyon just brought me some ice chips. I’m going to get on the birthing ball. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes love, we are only 17 miles out now.”

“Adonis?”

“Yes love?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

They end the call as the nurse and the doula enter the hospital suite. Once Karis was out of the bed and onto the birthing ball she became even more uncomfortable. She was in active labor. Her pains were hard and closer together. She was getting tired.

“Hazel, will you help me? I think I need to use the restroom.”

“No ma’am, we are going to get you back into bed so that nurse Emilia can give us the go ahead to start pushing.”

“Pushing? But Adonis… my husband isn’t here.”

Hazel grabbed her hand and said, “Yes pushing, we want to make sure we don't put baby in danger by holding off too long. I’m sure Adonis will be here soon so he can help you with your breathing as you begin to push.” Her Calm demeanor and comforting words consoled Karis in that moment.

After a vaginal exam, the nurse confirmed that she was indeed ready to start pushing.

“Unfortunately, your baby didn’t get the memo,” Hazel quipped.

A team of nurses swarmed the suite getting things set up for the birth of her baby, Cordonia’s heir. The tears started to pour again. Kenyon stood helplessly before, “I’ll just wait outside,” he said quietly. “But Kenyon, you promised,” she sobbed. “That was before they pulled your covers off.” She pouted and gave him the most ridiculous puppy dog eyes. “Ok, I’ll stay. But only until King Liam arrives.” he looked at Hazel, the doula and asked, “how can I be helpful?”

“I am going to stand on the left and empower Mom, and you stand on the right and help hold her thigh.” Kenyon’s eyes went wide. “Forget it. If you are going to be all weird, then just go,” Karis chided. “I promised I would and I will.” He swallowed thickly before placing his large hand on the joint behind her knee mirroring what he saw Hazel doing. “Am I doing this right Ms. Hazel?” She smiled and nodded her head reassuringly.

“Now Mom, on the next contraction, take a deep breath and push.”

Karis could feel her abdomen tightening. When the next contraction came she took a deep breath and pushed. It felt like she was constipated and needed to relieve herself. On the next contraction, it burned like nothing she had ever experienced. “You’re doing so well Mom, a few more pushes and you get to meet your baby.”

Tired and in pain Karis looked at the nurse and said, “Oh, screw you! This hurts!!”

“Karis!” Kenyon blurted. “Oh, screw you too! You try pushing a watermelon out of a lemon.”

Then came another contraction, but this time instead of focusing on her breathing, she screamed at the top of her lungs, “Adonis!!!! I hate you! You did this to me.” Just then the door flew open. “You called for me, love?” He smiled at her and she melted like she always had.

His presence was a momentary distraction from the insurmountable pain. He had finally made it. He wasn’t going to miss the birth after all. When she laid eyes on him she began to sob. “I don’t really hate yooooou.” One of the nurses helped him scrub up and get into a gown. He gave Kenyon an appreciative elbow dap.

“Adonis, how nice of you to join us. Get over here. Are you ready to meet your baby?” Dr. Dameron asked.

“Yes, of course,” he said before kissing Karis sweetly on the forehead.

“Good because on this next contraction she will deliver the head.”

On the next contraction, Karis seemed more focused than ever. Kenyon wiped the sweat from her brow before she closed her eyes. “I’m here with you now, baby. You are doing amazing. You can do anything.” His confidence in her gave her just the strength she needed to champion through. Quietly, she took a deep breath, tucked her chin into her chest and pushed as hard as she could. “That’s it baby, you’re doing it. I can see the head.”

Dr. Dameron checked for the cord around the baby’s neck as the nurse suctioned it’s airways. On the next push Dr Dameron moved behind Liam positioning his hands to catch the baby.

Karis pushed one final time and the heir to the crown of Cordonia was born. “Oh my God, Karis, love! You did it! He’s beautiful.”

She looked up through the tears, “he? It’s a boy?” The King began to sob and he shook his head confirming. Dr Dameron looked at the clock, “12:09” she told the nurse. Congratulations, your majesties, “It’s a boy.”

@txemrn @pixie88 @secretaryunpaid @khoicesbyk @blackkingliamstan @mom2000aggie @shannonwrote @hopelessromanticmonie @chemist-ana @rideordiechronicles @lucy-268 @dcbbw @darley1101 @maurine07 @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @kingliam2019 @schnitzelbutterfingers @lem-20 @choicesficwriterscreations @no-one-u-know @jessiembruno @queenrileyrose @thefrenchiemama @somersetmummy @axwalker @gkittylove99

TRR: @twinkleallnight @bebepac @mainstreetreader @romereadingshop @romewritingshop @lem-20 @texaskitten30

#trr #trr au fanfic #choices #choices stories you play #fanfiction #fandom #queen karis #king liam #king of cordonia #adonis x karis #Liam x Karis #shewillreadyou #the royal romance #the royal heir #liam adonis rhys #Kim writes #kimreads #cordonia #ok bye

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fashournalist · 3 years

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Conquering the Crown: Who Will Be The Next Miss Universe Philippines 2021?

Are you ready, Universe?

Tomorrow, the next Miss Universe Philippines will be crowned in Bohol, and I'd like to share my bets with you (as well as my thoughts on more candidates other than my Top 6. :)

But first, I have to admit I do have a bias for Cavite, Aklan, and Laguna because

1) Cavite is my birthplace and where I spent the first 16 years of my life;

2) Aklan is where my five dear brothers are from;

3) Laguna is where I spent seven eventful years as a UPLB student.

However, these biases aren't the sole reason I'm rooting for these representatives. I believe Victoria Velasquez Vincent, Leren Bautista, and Christelle Abello are really among the best candidates of this year's batch! VVV is actually my top one, followed by Katrina Dimaranan, Maureen Wroblewitz, and Ayn Bernos.

One of the smartest and most eloquent candidates of this batch, Victoria Velasquez Vincent from Cavite has emerged as the Interview Challenge winner, and rightly so. But she caught my attention even before that phase; her Runway Challenge was really impressive as well. As a heritage conservationist and architect, she's committed to solving environmental problems across the globe.

I really wish the winner would be a pure Filipino, but it so happened that VVV impressed me the most. She's half-Irish and half-Filipino, raised in New Zealand.

Now this one's a powerhouse. A pageant veteran, model, actress, and television host, I think (and thousands of others think, too) Katrina Dimaranan from Taguig is the most prepared of them all. She was appointed as USA's Miss Supranational 2018 and finished as 1st Runner Up at the world stage. She was also one of the title holders way back in Binibining Pilipinas 2012.

Kat's charming, authentic personality captivates anyone watching her or listening to her voice. You can see this through the way she nailed the challenges. And though she grew up in the US, she is a pure Filipina.

This woman needs no introduction--Maureen Wroblewitz, the winner of Asia's Next Top Model Season 5. Born in Saudi Arabia, she's a half-Filipina, half-German model and actress who is now representing Pangasinan as she fights for the crown. She has emerged as the Casting Challenge winner, but aside from that, all the results of the other challenges prove how excellent and enthralling she is as a model. Her intelligence can also be seen with every answer she delivers during Q&As.

The most inspiring candidate of all, Ayn Bernos of San Juan, proves that barriers can be broken and stereotypes can be shattered. Proudly standing at 5'3 with morena skin, Ayn represents the majority of Filipino people who are not influenced by foreign blood. I've closely followed her journey from the day she submitted her pageant application, and I'm so happy for her every step of the way. Her millions of followers on TikTok surely feel the same. We feel seen, we feel represented, we feel inspired to also reach for our dreams--no matter how impossible they may seem.

Ayn is a natural Filipina beauty, and she glowed further as she embarked on the road to the crown. Her wit, intelligence, and cheerful personality radiate in every appearance she makes, whether it's an interview or a commercial special by some of MUPH's sponsors.

With enchanting eyes, a driven attitude, and several beauty pageant titles under her belt, Leren Mae Bautista of Laguna is one of the most prepared candidates to represent the nation at the Miss Universe pageant this December.

I started knowing her through the tarpaulins in LB eight years ago. I was still in college, and Leren just won the crown of Miss Los Banos. She conquered the Binibining Laguna title as well. Since then, I knew this classic Filipina beauty and brain would one day captivate the world. Years later, she has placed as a 2nd Runner Up in Miss Globe 2019 and won in other pageants, too. Today, she's aiming for the universe and we all know she's ready.

Armed with an unstoppable grit, this dreamer put her life in the US on pause to once again fight for the crown of Miss Universe. Christelle Abello of Aklan has placed in the top 16 of last year's MUPH, and she has come back stronger this time around. Though she wasn't part of the Top 7 in the Interview Challenge, I think she's one of the most fluent and confident candidates.

Although she was born in America, she embodies the beauty of a real Filipina. I have to mention that I'm not a fan of her evening gown's design, but she still carried it well.

So there, now you know my Top 6! :) They've been my Top 6 for several weeks now, but this doesn't mean I'm not impressed by other candidates.

Michele Angela Okol of Siargao Island nailed the Preliminary Interviews! I haven't watched all the interviews since the KTX pass is just too expensive for me, but I was able to see a few on YouTube. And of them all, Michele's answers were the best. She was certain with her answers. Ingrid "Sam" Santamaria of Paranaque and Chela Grace Falconer of Misamis Oriental are some of the smartest and most fluent candidates as well. Sam placed second in the Interview Challenge.

The Filipina beauty of Janela Cuaton of Albay, Maria Corazon Abalos of Mandaluyong, Mirjan Hipolito of Angeles City, Simone Nadine Bornilla of Marinduque, and Princess Krista Singh of Pasig are some of the most outstanding in their batch. But I think the most outstanding beauty of all, is Jasmine Umali of Manila. She's like a living Mulan, or Barbie. And all these phenomenal women are smart and graceful, too!

Anyhow, if Gianne Asuncion of Cagayan Province wasn't diagnosed with COVID-19, for sure she would make it here and she'd be one of my bets. I hope she comes back next year, same with Maica Cabling Martinez of Nueva Ecija, who didn't make it in this year's Top 30.

You might be wondering why I haven't mentioned Steffi Rose Aberasturi of Cebu Province yet.

Honestly, I can't deny she's gorgeous from head to toe, well-prepared, talented, and confident, but I just cannot stomach supporting someone who supports Rodrigo Duterte. If she wins tomorrow, I will not bash her--I can see why she's one of the frontrunners--but I just cannot see myself rooting for her because of her political stance :( If she was not a DDS though, she would easily be one of my top bets, maybe my top 4 or top 5.

Steffi carries every outfit effortlessly, and her beauty can go from sweet and endearing to regal and fierce. I wish, before the national elections, her eyes would be opened to the atrocities of Duterte's war on drugs. (I also find Bea Luigi Gomez beautiful, but she said during the preliminary interview that the government is doing well. So, I'm afraid she might be a DDS, too. I hope not)

I know, people tell us to separate the pageant from political views, but the thing is, when a DDS gains more influence, they can influence voters to support Duterte, too. That's a real danger our country can no longer afford.

As for Kisses Delavin of Masbate, I'm inspired by her drive to pursue her dreams, not letting bashers stop her. But I just cannot see her wearing the crown, sorry :( I'm not a basher, I acknowledge she is beautiful, sweet, talented, kind, and smart. But I just don't see the fierce, palaban aura that we all need in a Miss Universe candidate. Never thought being baby-faced could be a disadvantage.

But anyway, if Ayn is slaying while breaking barriers and stereotypes, why can't Kisses, right? Kisses did well in every interview she handled. Although, I really didn't like her runway challenge where her hands were stuck on her waist. Good thing her walk improved in the swimsuit competition. Despite getting bashed and doubted, she fights with courage and passion, and that's something we can all learn from--whether we're part of Kissables or not.

Who will win tomorrow? I just can't wait to find out :)

I really wish I have the budget for a KTX pass so I could watch the coronation night in real-time. Sigh. That's 600 pesos! I'd rather spend it on samgyup. HAHA my love for food beats my love for pageants, even when I once dreamt to be Miss Universe myself lol.

How about you, guys? Who are your favorites? Who are your bets? Comment down below :) (wow youtube lang? haha)

Regardless of who wins, let's support her way to the crown. :) Go, proudly raise the Philippine flag, Miss Universe PH 2021!

PS. Photos came from Miss Universe Philippines' page, Philippine Star, and PeoPlaid. And I thank MS Paint because that's where I combined some of the photos haha.

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hopelesslyfallenninlove · 3 years

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Never Thought It Would Be You ~ A Cordelia Goode x Fem! Reader Part 4

I am quick to go to bed after that encounter with Cordelia and making food for those kids. The next morning I do the same routine; make breakfast, go clean the greenhouse, water the plants, then go inside have a cup of coffee while listening to what ever one of the girls want to talk about. Today was a holiday so we didn’t have any classes, which I’m relieved about because I’m sure I would not be able to stand one of Cordelias classes after what had happen. It’s about 9am and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, when I decide to try and see if there was a forget spell. I can’t handle Cordelia knowing the truth but I don’t think I’m powerful enough to do a spell. I finally find one and just as I find it Cordelia is behind me and says “Y/N why are you looking at forgetting spells? You not going to try to do that tome are you?” She asks with such a sad smile on her face, Cordelia reaches and grabs the book from my hands.

“Miss. Goode....... I was just reading about it I wasn’t going to do anything with it. Why would I do that to my supreme?” I say trying to think of an excuse, but also trying to get out of here as fast as possible.

“Y/n, I know you’re lying. What happened yesterday is embarrassing but also means so much and we should talk about it. Sweet girl we need to talk about it. I...-“ just as Cordelia was about to reach for my cheek the door swings open and in walks an excited Zoe, we both look over to her.

“The neighbors are have fireworks later today, y/n we should have a little cookout in the grill. We need stuff from the store though right?” Zoe asks me and starts to drag me out already mowing the answer before I can say anything.

“Yes we do need stuff, we need hamburgers, brats, hotdogs, stuff to make potato salad some beans maybe. Would you like to go to the store with me?” I ask hoping she agrees so I don’t have to walk back with the bags myself .

“Yes as long as I can get my favorite candy?” Zoe says with a pouty look, knowing I can’t resist it.

“Yes of course, let’s go.” I say with a slight chuckle. With that we walk to the store and start grabbing all the supplies. While walking around you can’t help but thank all the gods for sending Zoe in to take you away from such an uncomfortable situation. Once everything is bought you both head home.

“So...... what was up with you and Cordelia? You looked really uncomfortable and just like you wanted to leave?” Zoe asks with concern, hope she didn’t overstep the boundary.

“Oh.... if I tell you you can’t tell anyone.” You say really wanting so,some to talk to and hoping Zoe will be the one.

“Of course y/n, whatever it is will stay between us and only us.” Zoe says with an encouraging smile and a slight squeeze to the shoulder.

“Okay, ..... last night Miss.Goode woke me up.... however before she did I was having a certain dream, if you know what I mean, and I was apparently saying her name while I was sleeping and making noises.” I look over at Zoe to gage her reaction and Zoe just nodded encouraging me to continue. “So I wanted to make her forget about that because it’s embarrassing and she is not supposed to know that I have a huge freaking crush on her, but now she does and I can’t even do the spell. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I can’t even be in the same room as her without wishing the earth would just swallow me up.” Zoe reaches up and wipes a tear away I didn’t even know I had.

“Y/n, just talk to her. She might like you back you never know and yes this is not how you wanted her to know but it is. Don’t run from the talk and just express your thoughts and feelings.” Zoe has a bright smile like she knows something I don’t and by the time that is said we are home and heading to the kitchen. “Do you need any help?”

“No I’m good, and thank you I really appreciate it.” I give Zoe a smile and start working on the potato salad.

“Anytime y/n, I’m always here for you.” Zoe walks away and I’m left to my thoughts and making the food alone. Time has flown by and before you know it it’s already 5pm and time to cook the burgers and such. I go out side and light the grill, and start cooking. Misty comes out and we are talking about certian plants with healing qualities, Malory soon joins us and her and Misty walk to the green house to look at the plants. I finish up with the food and call the neighbors over and everyone that the food is ready. I have a burger and some potato salad, hopefully everyone will like it I haven’t grilled for anyone yet which is surprising.

The time is now 8pm dark enough for fireworks, (start listening to the song now/if you want to) we all set blankets up and watch as the first ones go off with big booms. I start to think about Cordelia and how I don’t know if I can take the heartbreak with this one, I think she might be it. I was nothing without her and now I’m whole. Before I knew Cordelia I was always alone, I always felt like something was missing like I was broken. I was just a ship waiting to crash, and now I have a family I have a purpose and I’m content here. If Cordelia tells me she doesn’t want me her anymore because of the confession, I think I will wilt away, I’m just a half without her. When it’s just me and Cordelia before all the confusing things recently I felt like we were fireworks, I felt like I had finally found my purpose. She puts the melody in my heart, she makes me feel safe and is home. Those beautiful eyes her golden hair, she’s the one my soulmate. As I’m deep in my thoughts I don’t even notice Cordelia coming up to me and sitting right next to me. “Hey y/n can we talk please?” Cordelia asks with hope and was looks like she scared in her eyes.

“Yeah I think we should, let’s go in the kitchen.” I get up and help her up, we walk in the kitchen and I can tell Cordelia is really nervous she’s picking at her fingers. “It’s okay Cordelia, whatever happens I’ll still be here.” I give her my best smile. “Cordelia I need to just say it, you are the one I think is for me. I really like you, hell I’m in love with you, when I met you I had nothing, no family, no home, no hope. Since I met you I gained all of those things, I never thought I’d have any of those. I was broken, never believed anyone could put my pieces back and give me something to look forward to and to always have somewhere to go. When I’m with you my whole world feel brighter, feels whole, I feel like I could quite literally do anything. I never ever thought in a million years that I’d have a soulmate and let alone I never thought it would be you. Oh how I’m so very happy it Is you and not someone else, I can’t see my life with anyone else but you. You are so beautiful in and out, you have a heart of gold Cordelia Goode and that heart deserves to be looked at and cared for, now weather you have feelings for me or not I will still be here taking care if that heart and you. I will always be here Cordelia Goode.” I dint know at which point I started crying but I somehow am. I look at Cordelia waiting for her to say something and when she doesn’t I lose hope of her liking me back, but that is okay I meant it when I said I’ll still be here.

“It’s about damn time you said that love, I was beginning to think this was all in my head. I knew 1yr and 3months of you being here that you my dear are my soulmate. The only one for me, I’m in love with you y/n.” With that being said Cordelia grabs me with both hands and kisses me like I will disappear tomorrow, as soon as our lips touch there is a firework that goes off and it is in the shape of a heart.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Let me know what you think. I know I kept going from 1st person to 2nd person that is something I will be working on. If anyone has a suggestion please let me know or if you have a print in mind. Also if want any more parts to this series let me know. The next one will be about Billie Dean Howard. Anyways thank you for reading, I wasn’t sure anyone would read these or even like them. I mainly use this as a creative outlet, anyways thank you again and have a goodnight/day :)

#lgbt #cordelia goode x reader #ahs x reader #ahs coven #sarah paulson x reader #Spotify

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oc-magazine1 · 2 years

Text

OC Interview with Desmond! 🤩

Created by Isa @isayandere

Tell us about yourself: "I'm Desmond. I'm actually suuuper in demand so you're, like, so lucky to be interviewing me right now. Let's see... stuff about me. I'm 21, my birthday is October 2nd, and I'm a Libra. I'm the lead guitarist for my band, Bringing Back December, I also do vocals sometimes. We have 3 albums that you should totally stream, like, right now. Anyway... yeah, there's that. I love dogs, (I've got a Doberman that I adopted from a rescue shelter), I love monster energy, (monster please license me), partying, cute girls, aaaand... myself, obviously~ Oh, yeah. and I guess people would call me "emo" or "scene", which is fine. I like the style."

Where would you take a date?

"Where would I take a date, huh? Hm... I'd probably take her shopping. Somewhere like... a mall. Who doesn't like spending money? Plus I can buy her stuff like clothes and make her totally love me... then we'd get something to eat after. It'd be cute as fuck. If it was an evening date, I'd probably take her to a club, and then we're going straight to one of our places after for the real fun.

What is your idea of paradise?

"I don't... really know, I've never given it much thought. Maybe when I'm really popular because of my band, so I have all the money I could want 'cause of fame, and I've got the love of my life living with me so I can wake up with her every day. Yeah, that's probably it."

What do you love about yourself?

"Ummm, everything? Every time I look in the mirror I get reminded of how fuckin' sexy I am, like, if I could I'd kiss myself. It's a combination of everything that makes me so desirable, you see. I've got all these other guys beaten by FAR. I guess if I had to pick something specific though, it'd probably be my hair and face... and my body."

What are your bad habits?

"I like gettin' wasted, I guess. I do some drugs to make my nights better. That's about it."

Do you have a favorite phrase that you say a lot?

"Uhh... probably "f"**k you. Just kidding, probably "haters will be haters", I live by that!"

If you had $1 million, what would you do with the cash?

"Adopt every dog that needs adopting, get 'em out of the shelters, then give them all away to people as pets for completely free. ...and maybe use the leftover money to buy a lifetime supply of Monster. And whatever my girlfriend wants."

Do you have any enemies?

"Not really, my enemies are just insecure people who are, like, sooo jelly of me. It's funny to watch them. Though... I guess I'd consider any other guys that try to hit on my girlfriend my real enemies. If I see that shit, things just got real, dude."

If you could appear in any popular movie or book, which one would you choose and why?

"Ooooh, I'd TOTALLY be a character in the SCREAM movies. I'd be, like, the hot side character that everyone likes, but at the end of the movie, it's revealed that I was the killer's accomplice and was one of the guys using the mask the entire time to kill people with 'em. Yeahh... but people would still love me, 'cause I'm hot. Think about it for a sec, confident and SEXY emo guy turns out to be the killer? It'd get me even MORE fans. I'd have entire accounts dedicated to posting gifs of me online."

What’s your relationship with your creator? "I don't really mind her... sure, she put me through a lot of shit, but I know I'm her favorite and she loves me more than almost anything at the end of the day. She gives me a lot of attention, AND she gave me a totally cute girlfriend and awesome bandmates. She's kinda cute herself, so I guess I can forgive her... yeah, she's not half bad."

Do you have any advice for other character creators?

DO whatever the HELL you want with your characters, it's all about having fun and doing what you love baby! Wanna make overly sexy guys or girls? Overly powered teenage characters who are loved by everyone and the stars of their story? Neon emo furries? The most CLICHE romance, even if it's a self-insert character with a canon character you love? DO IT, you'll be so much happier, and most importantly F**K everyone who thinks it's cringe, they need a life, live your life! I SUPPORT YOU!

#oc #ocs #my ocs #oc interview #original character #oc interaction #original characters #oc tag #my original characters #oc art #oc artwork

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themidnight-ghost · 4 years

Text

Try

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Anne Boleyn lost everything when she accidentally resurrected Henry VIII. Now it's all up to her to fix her mistakes, but hopefully, she won’t have to do it alone.

Anne Boleyn was usually a heavy sleeper. She slept and continued sleeping until around 10 am when Jane would practically drag her out of bed. But tonight, on Cathy’s floor, Anne was restless.

Earlier, the 2nd and 6th queen had a heated discussion about who would sleep on the floor and who would sleep on the bed. Anne refused to go anywhere near Cathy’s mattress until she’d made things right with everyone, and they both knew Anne didn’t deserve the treatment she was getting anyway. Cathy eventually gave up and pulled out a book.

Now, the Boleyn girl was tired yet unable to sleep - everything was a distraction. Cathy’s rhythmic breathing, the occasional taxi which sped past the open window, the drunk shouts of men walking home from the pub down the road and of course, Anne’s thoughts.

Eying the open window, Anne thought back to a time when everything was okay. She’d spend hours on the roof with Anna talking about their inner demons and the guilt they felt. For Anna, it was surviving and having a good life. The 4th queen always thought she shouldn’t be the one crying. As for Anne, it was more to escape the prying eyes of her family and country; they all painted her as a failure.

Anne was the quietest she’d even been as she tiptoed over the floor and past Cathy’s papers so she could reach the window. Upon arrival she pried the latch open and slid under, grasping onto the ledge as she made her way towards the highest point. Anne let the occasional whisper-curse slip from her lips as she adjusted her footing amongst the tiles. It was harder not being in the attic.

Reaching her destination, Anne propped herself against the sloping walls and drew her legs close to her chest, hugging herself. The air was fresh and pure like it was filtering through a fan, Anne gazed up at the stars with longing and a spark of hope in her eye. She enjoyed being alone with the moon shrouding her face. It helped her make sense of her thoughts and contemplate her actions, or in this case, the rising feelings she had for Catherine Parr.

With or without Anna, Anne remembered when she wrote poems about Cathy once she discovered her feelings. Anne never imagined that it would work out, though. They were reincarnated Tudor queens who had been previously scared by love but found comfort in each other. Cathy was the only person who succeeded in breaking down her defences and the only queen Anne had a real connection with when dismissing Katherine.

According to history, the whole thing was bullshit. But you should’ve seen Cathy’s face when Anne kissed her after their performance at The Olivier awards and opened up to the writer about her feelings. The youtube clip had been watched 13 million times and the gasp from the audience when Cathy finally nodded and admitted that her feelings reciprocated always made Anne chuckle.

“Boleyn?”

Anne squealed at the arrival of another person and quickly tensed up when she realised it was Cleves.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Anna’s tone wasn’t malicious; instead, it was quite humorous, and the 4th queen chuckled as Anne fumbled for an answer.

“It doesn’t matter.” Anna sat beside Anne before looking up at the stars, “I figured it was only a matter of time before Cathy smuggled you into the house again. She couldn’t stop asking about you - it drove Jane bonkers. How long have you been here, anyway?”

Anne was taken aback at Anna’s hospitality, “It’s my 2nd night here.”

“Weird that-” Anna hesitated, “Cathy stopped mentioning you about two weeks ago.”

“She found me living on the street and decided to help by giving me money. Eventually, she couldn’t hide it anymore and started talking to me herself.”

“The street? Jane said you were in Malibu with henry?”

“Malibu? You have to be shitting me!” Anne scanned Anna’s face for any sign of a joke. “I left that wanker the moment he wouldn’t stay true to our deal. The plan was to resurrect the kids for the good of everyone else, but he bolted. When Jane kicked me out, I went looking for him so we could continue our deal. I found him in a local pub, running away from everything.”

“Damn, Jane really hates you.”

“Are you serious?” terror traced Anne’s face, “I always thought that was a stage act?”

“Oh, it was. But now, Jane really hates you.” Anna responded nonchalantly.

Anne froze. Jane hated her? Anne may have done some terrible things, but she never wanted to hurt anyone and surely didn’t want anyone to hate her. These people were her family! To know Anne caused them pain was an unbearable thought, and the Boleyn girl could feel her walls crumbling. Let’s just say there was a reason for the cuts on her wrist.

“Do you hate me?” Anne’s voice cracked, and she pressed her nails into her biceps to stop her tears.

Anna stopped to contemplate the 2nd queen’s question. Unfortunately, this pause was too long, and Anne's walls tumbled.

It started when a tear-streaked her left cheek and Anne cupped her mouth to prevent her sobs echoing into the night and waking the other queen’s. With all boundaries gone, Anne turned and cried into her friend’s shoulder,

“Am I a bad person Anna? Please don’t hate me.”

“What the-” Baffled by the sudden emotion-explosion, Anna pulled the 2nd queen closer to her chest, “You’ve never been a bad person, babes. And I could never hate you.”

Anna was never good at comforting anyone and often referred back to her own experiences. However, she had always been there for Anne before and wasn’t stopping now.

“Besides, I’m technically the bad one here; I couldn’t stop Kat from hurting herself.”

“Kat hurt herself because of me?” Anne’s heart broke before falling further into her stomach, giving the Boleyn girl a sick feeling of guilt and sorrow, “I’m the villain in this story, not you.”

“Woah,” Anna turned to face the 2nd queen, “Don’t say that, you didn’t mean to hurt her!”

Anne curled into herself, “But I still did! It being an accident doesn’t change anything!”

“Anne, listen.” Anna held Anne’s face, so they looked into each other’s eyes, “There isn’t a villain here, just a bunch of kids who made mistakes.”

“But I-”

“The thing with us is that we’re not bad people. A bad person is someone who deliberately causes harm or pain to others. You may be painted as a bad person to some, but it doesn’t mean you’re genuinely a bad person. Mistakes happen. Get over it and start living your life.”

“You should hate me?”

“But I don’t.” Anna brushed her hair back with her hand, “And you shouldn’t either.”

With that, Anna of Cleves slid down the roof and back into her room, leaving Anne alone under the stars.

With no more tears left to cry, Anne felt empty. She didn’t intend to disclose everything to Anna, but it did feel good to get everything off her chest. She briefly closed her eyes in silent prayer and wallowed in the silence, palming the roof tile to pass the time.

‘I want to tell you everything, all the words I never got to say the first time around. But you are just a fool to keep pretending that you love me so even if I said anything, It wouldn’t matter.’

☁️ Anna was not qualified to deal with an emotional outburst at 3 am but honestly neither am I. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. x ☁️

#parrlyn #parrleyn #anne boleyn #catherine parr #anna of cleves #six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six #jane seymour #katherine howard #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn x catherine parr #fanfiction

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starchildwannabe · 4 years

Text

Landing in New York

Genre: fluff

Pairing: bang chan x reader; side minlix

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: this fic is mostly just fluff but they also drink

Author’s notes: I wrote this based on a prompt generator to try to finish a full story. It’s unedited but I hope it’s not too bad! Also it’s short but I hope you like it :)

Summary: you meet Chan in New York on New Year’s Eve

2:58pm. I rub my eyes as the fatigue of 3 o’clock starts to slip in. How ironic (or cruel really) that New Years Eve was on a Thursday this year and that the deadline for this month’s project was today instead of next week. I let a slightly exhausted sigh escape from my lips as I finally look up from the computer screen.

“3 o’clock already,” a familiar voice on my left says prompting me to swivel my chair in their direction. A smile slips onto my face.

“You know what that means,” I say, holding out my hand to my lovely desk mate and exceptional best friend, Felix, who takes it without even slight hesitation.

It’d been a while since the honeymoon phase of working in a new place passed and both Felix and I started crashing around 3pm on workdays. It hadn’t been long, though, since we decided that the 3 o’clock fatigue meant stretching our legs and walking across the street to our favorite (by default) coffee shop to get a little pick me up. Today, however, I was more looking forward to the after work festivities rather than the assured line out the door of the Tom N Toms just for 3pm coffee. On December 31st in New York, everywhere was crowded no matter what time of day, and especially in Times Square from about rush hour on. So today was not a day you wanted to be stuck in the office after 5, let alone at all, but sacrifices had to be made for the dream of working and living so close to where the ball would drop at midnight.

When I step outside, already pulling my scarf tighter around my neck to escape the brisk wind and soft snow flurries, I’m surprised to see that the line hasn’t made it out the door yet and take that as a queue to get across the street as fast as possible.

“I’ll race you,” I say, giving Felix a mischievous look and a wiggly eyebrow.

“What are we, five?” He says giggling.

“No, six.” I say and take off across the crosswalk before the blinking green man changes to red. I glance over my shoulder when I get to the door of the Tom N Toms to make sure Felix actually made it across the street, and when I see him behind me, open it to reveal the warm air trapped inside the shop.

After waiting in the incredibly slow line for 10 minutes, we make it to the counter and give our order.

“You think Mr. Kim will be mad if we take a little longer than the usual 15?” I ask Felix and check my watch again as we walk toward the pick up counter to wait. Names are being called in the background, surely for other customers to get their orders, but I don’t really pay close attention because it’s too soon to be ours. I look up when Felix starts to reply, but I miss what he says because my attention is fully on a guy less than a few inches away from me holding an iced coffee in the hand closest to me and brace for impact because it’s too late to sidestep him. In less than a second I can feel coffee running down my shirt and thank God that it’s just cold and not scalding my chest instead.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” a panicked voice is saying as I awkwardly hold my shirt away from my body, “I didn’t even see you I don’t even know how that happened I’m really really sorry,” he says in a somehow even more panicked tone. I give an extremely awkward smile to try to lighten the situation and that’s when I actually take a second to look at the person frantically apologizing and all I can think is holy shit, is he beautiful.

“Ah, um, it’s okay,” is all I can manage to say because he’s shoving napkins at me. Then one of the staff with a mop is at the area where the coffee spilled and Felix is pulling me towards him and the boy is being pushed by the crowd the other way and the conversation ends before I can even ask him his name.

“Are you okay?” I hear Felix ask behind me and then the boy is gone because I turn my head to look at Felix instead.

“Yeah, I’m just a little uncomfortable, and coffee stained is all,” I make a mental note that I would probably be more upset if the person behind why I was covered in coffee was less attractive and then mentally kick myself for being shallow. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom to try to get this off, can you handle getting the drinks?”

“Yeah, dude, of course,” Felix says, and gives me a little push towards the bathrooms.

Fortunately, the rest of the hour and a half in the office passes without much problem. Unfortunately, I have to spend the rest of the afternoon and commute home with a horribly stained white button down. Fortunately, I have a coat to cover it when I go outside. Unfortunately, Felix hasn’t stopped talking about the boy that caused said stain since we made it back to the office, and as we’re walking out again at 5.

“But do you think you’ll see him again?” He’s saying for the 2nd time since I made it back from the bathroom in the Tom N Toms, “I think he was interested in you, and he was hot,” he adds and I sigh.

“I know,” I say in a pouty voice, “but like I said last time, I probably won’t. I’ve never seen him before today anyway, he could be a tourist for all we know. I mean, he did have an accent that was clearly Australian.” I look at Felix when I say the last part.

“Well I’m Australian and I live here,” he says, and adds, “I’m just saying,” when I give him a side eye.

“Well all I’m saying, is that it’s not likely.”

The conversation dwindles and then moves onto plans for that night and after about 10 minutes of walking and brainstorming the best way to get even remotely in Times Square without having to stand outside for the rest of the night the conversation somehow goes back to the coffee shop boy.

“You know, if he’s a tourist, he’s probably here for the ball drop,” Felix states. “And if he’s here for the ball drop, that means he’ll be somewhere in Times Square at midnight.”

“Who?” I ask even though I already know who he’s talking about.

“The boy.” He glances over at me and slits his eyes. “From Tom N Toms.” He deadpans.

“Felix, there’s going to be literally a million people in Times Square, maybe even more than that, we’re never going to run into him.” I sigh at the realization that we’ve been talking about someone, that I’m probably never going to see again, for the better half of the afternoon. “If we see him again, I’ll be convinced that he’s my soulmate.”

***

“I think if we leave now we’ll be able to be in the very very back,” Felix says from behind me. “And I’m sure if we squint, we’ll actually be able to see the ball drop.” I stop searching through my closet for a second to glance at Felix who’s casually sitting on my bed.

“Look it’s not my fault someone spilled coffee on my shirt.” I say and turn back to my clothes. From the other side of the wall, I could hear a slight pulsing from music that’s turned up too loud. “You’d think the owner would tell them to be careful about getting noise complaints.”

“Well it’s not like it’s illegal to rent out your place as an Airbnb anymore.”

“I mean I guess,” I glance down at my watch, “why are they even here still? If they don’t leave soon, they won’t be able to get anywhere near Times Square.”

“You’re telling me.” Felix says. I quickly grab a shirt and pull my coffee stained one over my head. Once I have the fresh one on, Felix stands and walks to the door.

“Wait,” I say and he turns his head in my direction. “Does this look okay together?”

“Yes, but I don’t see why it matters so much, your coat’s gonna be over it the whole time.” I turn my head towards my closet one last time. “Let’s just go.” Felix adds with a slight urgency in his voice.

“Okay, you’re right it doesn’t really matter.”

As I’m turning my key into the handle, I have a sudden urge to knock on the door next to mine and tell them to turn the music down, but I let it go because we’re leaving anyway and it’s their fault if they have to watch the ball drop from the very back of Times Square. I turn away from the door and give my watch one more glance as I head toward the stairs. 5:24pm. When I get the the stairs, Felix is already at the bottom of the first flight.

“We should get to the entry on 6th in less than 5 minutes, we don’t have to rush that much.” I say to his clearly urgent body language. He pauses for a second before replying and I lift my eyebrow.

“I, uh,” Felix hesitates, “kind of told someone we’d meet them at 6th at 5:30, but I didn’t think I’d mention it until we got there because I didn’t think it’d take this long to leave.” He lets the end drift off.

“Oh.” I say, “that’s fine, but like I wish you would’ve told me before. I would’ve spent less time changing.” An awkward laugh escapes, but I feel a genuine smile on my lips.

“Sorry,” he says and his hand comes up to rub the back of his head.

“Do I know them?” I ask to try to ease the tension.

“Oh, uh, yeah actually I think you’ve met one time.” Felix says and then adds, “but I don’t think you know his name.”

“And his name is—“ I say drawing out the last word.

“Minho,” I nod confirmation as he says it. “You were there, when we met.” I look at him with a confused expression. “It was a couple weeks ago at the bar,” when my expression doesn’t change he adds, “come on, you know, kinda tall, brown hair, cute nose, great laugh. I gave him my number?”

“And I was there?”

“Yes, you were there! You were literally sitting right next to me when this happened.”

“Wow, how drunk was I, jeez.” I shake my head a little and then say, “Well as long as he’s nice and doesn’t make things awkward for me, I don’t really care if I know him or not.” I chuckle and then look at Felix with pouty eyes, “but who am I supposed to kiss at midnight now?”

“Well it wouldn’t’ve been me anyway, so I guess that’s a personal problem,” he says and then gives a nice genuine laugh.

“I guess I’ll just have to go another year without a New Years kiss.” I feign despair and over exaggerate my sigh.

At exactly 5:32pm we make it to the entrance at 6th. We look around for a bit and then Felix jogs off toward someone that he recognizes. I stand awkwardly by myself as I witness their encounter, and confirm that Felix was right, he does have a cute nose. After maybe a minute, Felix turns around and walks back to me with Minho close behind.

“So this is Minho,” he says to me and I give a smile and wave to the boy standing behind him, and then he turns to Minho and adds, “she couldn’t remember you from the bar, can you believe that?” His laugh is light and fluttery, and I make a mental note to ask him about this later.

“You stole my midnight kiss,” I comment and wink at Minho and both boys’ cheeks flush pink.

“I, uh,” Minho’s voice is frantic and his eyes search Felix’s face for help.

“I’m just kidding,” I say and then laugh and pat Minho on the shoulder. I check my watch again. “I’d say we have like 20 minutes before they stop letting people in, so let’s make a quick bathroom stop and meet back here.” I say and then point toward a nearby building that I’m sure will let us in.

***

By the time the last hour of the year comes and is almost gone, and the sun has been gone for over 6 hours, the only thing that’s keeping me alive and not freezing to death in the brisk wind, is the sheer amount of people that are in Times Square (and also the alcohol that’s in my system from the very kind and very sneaky people standing next to us). Of course, Felix and I had forgotten to hide any booze in our coats before we left since we were rushed and now that I’m a little bit more than slightly intoxicated, I’m glad that we didn’t. I’m overly grateful for the people next to us, because they made the time pass while Felix was busy flirting with Minho next to him. Around 10 minutes before midnight, I could hear some commotion going on somewhere in the crowd in front of me, and then saw a small group of people making their way to the back of the crowd. As they passed by us, the people next to me said something like, “you know you can’t get out now, when it’s so close to midnight.” But they didn’t stop walking, just pointed vaguely behind us which seemed to be good enough for everyone. After that, the crowd shifted enough that Felix, Minho, and I got pushed away from the people next to us and into a new area of the crowd. I frown at the thought of not being by people I know anymore and push my coat back so I can look at my watch. 3 minutes to go. I look up at the ball on top of One Times Square and excitement floods my body. It’s almost to the bottom already.

I lean closer to Felix and Minho and ask, “Any last words before our lives change forever?”

Felix slightly rolls his eyes and then leans into Minho’s ear.

“She does this every year,” and then looks back at me and smiles and adds, “All I’m going to say is that I hope there isn’t an alien spaceship waiting for the last 3 seconds before midnight to blast us all off the earth.” Minho scrunches his eyebrows.

“He says that every year,” I say leaning toward Minho. Felix shrugs.

“It’s true though.”

“Minho?” I ask.

“Um,” he glances at Felix, “I hope that next year is at least as good as this year was.”

“Aw, wait that’s really nice, and a million times better than Felix’s” I say and clasp my hands by my chest. “I think for me, I hope that in—“ I glance at my watch again, “45 seconds I can get a New Years kiss.”

“Those are you last words of the year? Really?” Felix deadpans next to me.

“I don’t see the problem,” Minho says and shrugs.

I can hear someone around me yell “30 seconds,” and then the noise level of the crowd goes up from excitement and everyone’s eyes are glued to the ball ahead.

20 seconds. 15 seconds. 12 seconds.

At 10 seconds everyone starts to count.

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4... 3... 2... 1...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Everyone in the crowd is shouting happy new year to the people around them and before I can even blink I’m being pulled closer to someone in front of me and they’re whispering in my ear with an extremely familiar accent, “can I kiss you,” and I’m whispering back “yes” and before I can comprehend what I’m doing, a kiss is being pressed to my lips. All I can think in the moment is what chapstick do they use? because their lips are so pillowy and smooth. When I finally open my eyes and reorient myself with my surroundings I see none other than the boy from the coffee shop standing in front of me.

“It’s you!” I blurt out before I can catch myself.

He laughs a honey sweet laugh and then says, “Chan or Chris, either is okay.” And then he smiles so wide his eyes almost disappear entirely.

“Okay, Chan or Chris, why? How? What? I’m so confused.” I say.

“Clearly,” the honey sweet laugh comes again. “Just call me Chan,” he says and glances at Felix and Minho giving them a little nod. I look at Felix when he does this and notice that his mouth is hanging open and let out a chuckle at the sight.

He grabs my arm and pulls me towards him and then says loud enough for only me to hear, “so you meet again, it must be fate.” I roll my eyes and then he lets my arm go and holds his hand out in front of Chan and says, “I’m Felix, we met earlier but you were in a bit of a rush, I’m assuming.”

“Ah, yeah sorry about that,” Chan says, he grabs Felix’s hand and lets his sunny smile cross his expression once more. “I’m glad we met again,” he turns to me when he says this, “it was really getting under my skin that I didn’t get to apologize to you properly.” An awkward chuckle escapes his lips.

“Oh, no, no it’s no big deal at all,” I say more rushed than I intend, “I’m sure you were busy, with it being New Year’s Eve and all,” I give him a little wink and his smile grows even bigger. “Plus I can kind of tell that you’re not from here,” he looks at me with a confused expression, “I mean your accent is obviously not American.” I say with a laugh.

“Looks like you caught me,” he laughs and puts his hands up by his shoulders. Before he can say anything else, though, one of his friends is leaning into his ear and whispering something to him. I try to catch what they’re saying but it’s too loud around me to hear. At this point the crowd has dispersed into a much less dense one and there’s enough room around to move freely. I glance over at Felix and at the same time feel a slight brush at my hand before it’s grasped by someone else’s. I look up and Chan’s attention has fully returned to me.

“We’re gonna head back to our Airbnb now, but I’m wondering if you want to come?” He asks with a smile plastered to his face.

I look back at Felix to see his reaction and then say, “I want to, but I would feel better if my friends could come too?” Felix is nodding behind me and Chan slips a quick glance to them before turning back to me and smiling again.

“Yeah, of course, the more the merrier!” He says. The friend that whispered into his ear before taps his arm and gives a little jerk of his head when Chan looks over. He starts to lead us through the still thinning crowd to the entrance, and I notice that Chan hasn’t let go of my hand since he first grabbed it. When he looks back at me when we make it back to the entrance, I can feel my cheeks heating up and hope that it’s too dark to see them change color.

“So,” he starts to say, “if it’s so obvious that I’m not from around here, what’s your guess?”

“My guess?”

“Yeah,” he says, “where do you think I’m from?”

“Oh,” I pause for a moment, “well your accent is pretty similar to Felix’s, so I’m guessing Australia?”

“You’re pretty clever,” he says in return, “I don’t think I could ever get used to it being cold in December though.”

“Really? Then why come to New York during the coldest time of the year?”

“Well, it’s on everyone’s bucket list isn’t it?” He says and then adds, “to come to New York for New Year’s Eve.”

“Yeah I guess so, but I don’t really see the big deal. You can’t even go to the bathroom once you’re in the barricades.”

“Yeah I know,” Chan says with a sort of defeated tone in his voice, “I wish someone would’ve told me that before we got inside.” He trails the end with a laugh.

As we round the next corner, snow starts to lightly fall from the sky. Chan’s friends in front of us start to murmur to each other like kids seeing snow for the first time and I let out a small giggle at that. After about a minute or so the road goes back to the calmer atmosphere it had before, and I realize that we’re walking directly toward my apartment. I give Felix a quick glance to see if he’s noticed it too, and when our eyes meet he lifts his eyebrow at me. I shrug as if to say what’re the odds and then turn back to Chan who’s telling me that if he were in Australia today, he’d be wearing shorts and flip flops with a zero percent chance of snow in the forecast. Then he’s telling me about how he would probably be swimming too and I can’t help but wish I was somewhere warm while we’re walking down a freshly snow covered street.

“You know, I live really close to here,” I say at a break in the conversation.

“What? Really?” Surprise crosses Chan’s face.

“Yeah, actually it’s only like a minute away.” I say and then hear someone ahead of me say “We’re almost there!” in a bright tone. I lift my eyebrows when we head toward my apartment building instead of turning down the street. I point ahead and then add, “that’s my apartment building.”

“No way,” Chan says as we inch closer and closer to it. “I think that’s where we’re staying.”

“Very funny,” I say.

“No, I’m serious,” I search his face to see if he’s lying, but we reach the stairs and it’s enough to know that he’s telling the truth. “What floor are you on?” He asks as we climb the first flight.

“3.” He’s silent for a moment too long so I add, “you guys aren’t on 3 also, are you?”

“Actually,” he pauses, “I think it’s 304.”

Then tension sits in the air for a moment before I say, “you should really think about playing music will less bass.” Chan gives me a confused look, “I’m in 305,” I let a smile fill my lips when I say so.

“Wow, what a coincidence.” He thinks for a second, “wait, that’s actually pretty convenient.”

“Why?”

“Because you can go home whenever you want.” We reach the 3rd floor then and the door to apartment 304 is already being opened by one of Chan’s friends. When we get into the main room, it looks the same as mine except the furniture has a vintage 70s vibe and the couch in the center of the room is an ugly green color. There are two more rooms splitting off from the main one, and after counting the number of Chan’s friends I’m assuming they’re bedrooms with more than one bed in each of them. The only light other than the dimmed overhead light is coming from different colored hexagon tiles that are hanging on the wall. Before long, there’s music bumping through the speakers on the entertainment center. Chan has to lean into my ear before saying, “pretty cool isn’t it?” because the volume is up pretty loud. After he leans away, he holds up a beer in front of me and tilts his head. I grab it from him and give a soft smile.

“Thanks,” I say and then add, “it looks nothing like mine, apart from the layout.” Chan leads me over to the couch, we sit, and cheers glasses before both taking big swings from our bottles.

2 and a half beers and 3 shots of soju in he asks, “Do you like living in New York?”

I think for a while and then say, “Yeah, I didn’t grow up here, but I always liked the idea of moving to a big city so I applied to college here and when I moved for my freshman year I just kind of never left.” I shrug and take another drink from the bottle I’m holding.

“Aw wow, it’s cool that you got to reach your goal.” I give him a slightly skeptical look.

“I wouldn’t say it was really a goal, more like an idea that I liked.”

“Yeah but it’s still cool,” he pauses, “I’m thinking about moving from Australia, but I’m not sure where I would go,” he pauses again, “just an idea I like, I guess.” He shrugs this time and I clink my almost empty bottle to his. “You know what else would be cool,” he eyes me and leans a little closer than he probably would if he was completely sober, “if you showed me your apartment.”

I let out a genuine belly laugh, “that’s what cool is to you?”

“You bet,” he pops up from the couch and throws his hand out to me.

“Alright, if you want.” I take his hand, finish the last of my beer, and place the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of me before standing up. As we walk across the room, I catch Felix’s gaze and throw up a peace sign with my free hand. He pushes himself off of the wall he’s leaning on and walks over to me.

“Heading out?” He says into my ear.

“We’re just going next door,” I chuckle, “So, yes and no.” He glances back at Minho, who gives him a bright smile when their eyes meet.

“Well if you’re gonna ditch, I think we’re gonna head out too.” Minho nods from behind him and then inches close enough to rest his head on Felix’s shoulder. I lift an eyebrow at him and he raises both of his back at me two times in quick succession.

“Text me when you get home,” I say and smile.

“Wouldn’t think not to.”

When I turn back to Chan, he’s talking to one of his friends. After 10 seconds or so he looks at me with a grin on his face and says, “ready to go?” I nod and we head to the entrance.

It takes less than a minute for us to get fully inside and situated in the apartment next door. I flip on the lights and watch as Chan starts to wander into the living room.

“You’re right,” he says after a couple of moments of silence.

“I’m right?” I question from across the room.

“Yeah,” he turns to me, “that apartments nothing like yours.” He turns towards the doors the opposite wall. “But it feels like home.” I let out a muffled giggle and I can see his ears turning red before he whips around and adds in a rushed tone, “A home, a home, not my home, not my home at all, just a home,” my giggles escalates into a full laugh at his rambling. “Not that I don’t want it to be my home, just, uh, I’m trying to not be weird.”

“Aw really?” I say when I’ve composed myself, “I was hoping you’d move in.” I fake an exaggerated sigh and then continue laughing with Chan joining in. “You’re really cute when you’re flustered,” I say.

“Oh yeah, well,” he pauses for a moment and then says, “well, you’re just really cute.” He turns away from me and faces the doors again. “I’m gonna guess that the left one is yours.”

“Hmm, well, you would guess wrong.” I say and walk over to the door on the right side of the room. Chan gives a pouty expression and lets out a little “hmph”

“Does anyone live there?” He says pointing to the left.

“Yeah, but she’s out for the week on vacation for New Year’s Eve.” I glance over at her door and let out a little sigh. “Must be nice to have a job that lets you have the whole week off.” I push my door open and then lean on the door frame. “I do want to say, though,” Chan looks at me with a look of concern, “I don’t usually bring guys home with me the first day we meet, so—“ I let the end drop off.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting— I didn’t think we’d— uh,” Chan gives a cheeky grin, “yeah no worries.”

I walk into my bedroom and lay my keys on my dresser before sitting on the bed. Chan follows suit but spends quite a lot more time making his way to the bed because he’s preoccupied with looking around the room. When he’s finally satisfied he stops in front of my nightstand and bends halfway over to inspect the tiny cactus and succulent trio that’s in a small pot.

“These are cute,” he glances over at me and then back at the plants, “do they have names?” He asks in a genuinely curious tone.

“Oh, actually,” I pause for a moment to think, “no they don’t.”

My face falls slightly and I only notice because Chan is saying “oh no don’t worry it’s okay,” and turning his attention fully onto me and away from the succulents. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and then he peels his eyes away and I can see his cheeks dusting pink. “How about we name them together?” He asks.

“Okay,” I say and smile. Chan plops down on the bed and then let’s out a low hmmm.

“How about, Chan,” he says.

“Oh my gosh, no.” I say laughing.

“Okay, okay, how about we name this one,” a second slips by, “Tom.”

“What? Why Tom?” I ask.

“Because that’s where we first met each other.” He says with a contagiously sunny smile.

“Oh that’s right,” I say, “it feels like that was 2 weeks ago, but it was literally,” I check my watch, 3am, “12 hours ago.”

“Wow can you believe that?” He kicks his feet up, resting his legs on my thighs, and lays down on the pillows with his arms crossed behind his head. “What if we didn’t meet again?” He lifts his head slightly to look at me.

“I don’t know,” I say and then lift Chan’s legs up and move onto the bed to lay next to him. He turns his body to face me.

“Well I’m really glad we did,” he says, his tone soft and sweet.

“Me too.” He inches a little closer to me and rests his forehead on mine.

“Can I kiss you?” I nod in response and lean into his pillowy lips for the second time that night. The kiss is soft and innocent and it feels like something out of a dream.

“I don’t want to leave,” Chan lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Then don’t,” I say and connect our lips again but this time the kiss is much more rushed and wanting, full of unspoken desire. I can feel my cheeks heating up and at the same time Chan is rolling us over so he’s embracing me. Our kiss deepens into something even more raw and I have to pull away before I can’t help myself. He peppers tiny kisses all over my face and I can’t help but giggle.

“This might be a weird question, but can I sleep here?” He asks.

“I would love that,” I say and place one more quick kiss onto his lips before pulling out of his embrace. “But if you’re going to stay I’m going to change into some pajamas.”

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