wait... does jers know hebrew?
jersey knows hebrew!!! sheila raised him to be a Noise Jewish Buoy.
he also went to hebrew school and temple every weekend growing up, but tbh, learning how read/write hebrew, being on top of his class and the best student in hebrew school was less about kyle being passionate about his heritage and was more about winning and being the best at any given task or trade. in a similarly unhealthy sense, pursuing shabbat every saturday was more of a control thing, an ocd trigger, a routine and regimen that he felt he needed to complete.
also not to peddle/push the downright false agenda that kyle actively attempts to seek out conversations with his peers or even wants to engage with other human beings at all, but a lot of kyle’s relatives, specifically the older ones, only speak yiddish or understand hebrew, so over the course of several childhood birthdays, seder dinners, and passovers passed, kyle developed a fluency for his family members.
speaking of jewish holidays and such tho, at thirteen, kyle had his bar mitzvah ( stan was supposed to come ofc, but something came up ), spoke a lot of hebrew during that ofc, but as a present, zayde and bubbe got kyle a star of david necklace so that jers could keep the faith w/ him at all times. literally. bc when kyle was at his heaviest, that chain was basically a choker and the clasp got stuck/rusted over so kyle...couldn’t get it off.
basically, stan's iconic everyday cartoon character necklace is the mysterious sexy vampy emo boy red glass heart shaped vial necklace n ky's is the lil gold star of david chain/pendant from zayde & bubbe.
on the topic of cartoon character boy things tho and specifically jersey kyle and his canon sp show outfit, i will say that when jersey goes for runs ( specifically in the summer when its hot ) or goes kick boxing with tweek, he does revisit his high school roots and wears the beat up white tank top, gold star of david chain, baggy good will jeans and sneakers. i’m not sure if he gels his hair back anymore ( that was such a big hs phase for him ) but he does put it back in a ponytail sometimes so it doesn’t get in his way when he’s exercising.
please note the white tank top is sometimes the ‘talk nerdy to me’ tank top that bebe got him as a joke for his birthday bc like, he’s exercising, who cares.
...stan cares.
stan cares…A Lot. ;)
bc the talk nerdy to me white tank top is the jerseykyle equivalent of stan wearing the support rock fuck a rockstar tank top. they r hating.
and ohhhh my god when jersey comes back from the boxing studio glistening with sweat, spitting his mouth guard into the case, all fired up bc he was just gettin all that aggression out, punching and kicking shit, releasing lots of catharsis, with his accent all heavy, swearing very liberally in yiddish, still cussing out the other cars on the road… ft. stan like i need u to do...Horrible Things to me. on every surface.
sorry, getting my mind out of the gutter, i swear! but kyle can def speak hebrew and while he swore he would never become his mother...he literally developed all her little yiddish mom sayings by accident, calls ike bubbeleh, constantly uses the schmatta to wipe schmutz of stans face, calls everyone a fucken dummkopf, says oy vey and oy gevault waaay too much. i love jersey he is so cuteeeee in his lil star of david apron, hand on hip, kochlefl in the other, making dinner shakin his head like ya betta wash ya Hands, nasty boy!
bonus hc: when stan goes off to college he actually takes hebrew as his elective class to try and impress kyle shsjs he is sooooooo fkn bad at it tho like the same way that jersey can’t roll his rs, raven cannot do the glottal stops. it’s so fucking funny oh my god. it’s ok kyle gives him private lessons. he requires…a lot of support & multiple sessions.
i honestly think that if they do actually decide to get married and conform to the standards of society for the hell of it; jerseykyles vows are in spanish and ravenstans are in hebrew <3 ;-;
-uncle nina, jew jersey kyle broflovski supremacy
11 notes
·
View notes
how many piercings does rm stan have?
...so many, anon.
So...So...Many.
he also quite literally wants more but management implemented a urgent ravenstanban on him putting more holes & reckless, ~juvenile~ piercings on the 'Face of PunkRock Super Band Crimson Dawn'.
he complained soooo much!!!! he was like Okay But Kenny Got To—and they were like raven, kenny is kenny!!!! kenny plays bass and wears the skull face mask, you are The Lead Singer Of The Band, smh.
laaaaame!!!! whack!!!!
why does everyone hate fun and Hot Boy Shit?
speaking of!
welcome to the ravenstan piercing whore couTOUR. <3
( i got weirdly specifically & passionate abt this — soz )
so he has his eyebrow pierced — it's his left one. one of my favorite things i've written lately is that the two dots go from being a colon to a semi-colon when he furrows his brow, haha. he also does wiggle his eyebrow at little kids at the childrens hospital to make them laugh. also the eyebrow piercing has no significance...i just think its cool, lol. but pep!stan wanted to pierce his eyebrow so raven is living his dream...which is actually a nightmare tbh...being a rockstar sucks. :/
i think his nose is pierced in two places? i want to say he's got a lil nose ring on the left side also and his septum is pierced...love u rae. i feel like the nose ring is usually just a lil silver ring moment or its a stud if he...can't find a nose ring...he loses everything, jersey does organize all his lil emo boy hot topic jewelry later btw. i think that happens even before they are dating bc kyle worries abt him, aaa!
anyways! i think the septum is also p standard, like usually its just the little spheres on the ends, sometimes cool spikes happen? i think they were stars once bc i love starboy stan -- but i also saw this really sick one on pinterest that is bat shaped and i got OBSESSED w/ it! i think that happens sometimes on special occasions bc its COOL!!!!
okay...uhhhhh, so his ears are pierced like Everywhere. in every possible place. i think a lot of them are also just little ring moments, studs and stuff, but his industrial is in and i do think R-A-V-E-N is engraved on it, also sometimes there are little lightning bolts or spikes or xs or lil emo boy crosses hanging off the armada of ear piercings on ravens ears that match the big cross earring which i feel like...looks like this? when the big cross isn't in i feel like its usually something sick like OMG ONE TIME IT WAS A BIG SWORD??? or like a skeleton guy hanging off!!! an anatomically correct human heart?
speaking of skulls and skeletons and things!!!!! THE ICONIQUE RAVEN LIP RING!!!!!! it is just a normal ring sometimes like everything else, but i think the ravenstan signature is the one that looks like a sick ass skeleton hand like??? HELLO??? HES SO COOL?
speaking of being rlly cool, if hes feel really spicy, i feel like he breaks out the crazy hot boy lip ring chain that connects to his ear? idk how to explain that...like This? like the edgy lip ring chain cuff? either way, i am obsessed, he is giving half mexican rockstar miyamura from horimiya. and that's so real bc izumi is gods secret emo angel tbh.
the lipring chain thing...does make kyle extremely feral, btw. like the lip ring in general already makes him feral but...Whew! also i do think he has a little chain that matches the sun and moon one on kyle's glasses BC THEY ARE GAY AND REALLY EXTRA AND MATCH!!!!
ravesey is truly a opposites attract-ive uber fine as hell mega sexy power couple i love them so badddd!!!! pleeease kiss me aaaaa
okay so listen hES NOT ALLOWED TO GET HIS NIPPLES PIERCED AND RAVEN WAS LIKE BOO YOURE ALL SO LAME!!!!! but hes quite literally not supposed to draw attention to the chest area ( which...is that why they put him in the tiny little pants? but also they do still put him in the tiny shirts...however as scandy as he is 25/8 no one has EVER seen raven of crimson w/o a shirt on and everyone is down absolutely horrendous about it...kyle...included...*sprays w/ water* )
also the ex cd guitarist ( who was also a college student, particularly in the area of pre-med/being a surgeon ) was like so i did a lot of research and after top surgery, trying to get pierce things around there is not a good idea, its not super safe also, ur nips could fall off.
and ravenstan was like omg ur being Paranoid!!! itll be fine and then one day, oh my GOD, it was just the guys being dudes and it was 147309473 degrees in the CD manwhoresion bc its old af and ravenstan whipped his shirt off and everyone was staring at him and he was like Jesus Christ You Guys Quit Objectifying Me skdlhs and they were like rAVEN YOU ONLY HAVE ONE NIP SLKHDSLKDLSKHDLKHDS AND HE WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME AND WAS LIKE OHHHHHHH MY GOD WHERE THE FUCK IS IT????
when i tell you they were screaming, crying and throwing up, on their hands and knees searching high and low, HEEEELP!!!! also dw, they found it BUT OHHHHHH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUNNY, he had to get it surgically reattached, all was well...but that dream died with like all of the sensation in his chest area p much...amazing.
but like…
are you really bros if u don't drop everything to look for ur other bros nipple graft & give him positive affirmations during his panic attack?
when i tell you the crimson dawn boys were soul bonded....i mean it. they were literally brothers, i love them but shit happens...smh.
OKAY LASTLY THO!!!!! so i think c.d. was raising money for charity bc they are my charity kings and kenny, being very unhinged, was like okay if we get This Many streams on blood moon i will pierce whatever part of ravens body u guys want wHILE RAVEN WAS IN THE BATHROOM?! IM FUCKING??? he came back and was like ok why is everyone laughing wtf was going on and kenny was like, dw worry just uh...how is ur pain tolerance...and do u have an innie or outie belly button for science and he was like eXCUSE ME KHJSLHS
anyways...they were sloshed, as per usje, it was NOT management approved they did it ON STREAM HELP, raven like PASSED OUT, incredible...oh my god. but now ravens belly button is pierced lmaooooooo, i am crying he was not stoked but he put the cool ass pentagram belly button piercing in and it matches the sick waist chain and hes kinda feeling himself tbh...hes so Fine...pray 4 kyle.
i think...that's it? he do b thinking about that nose chain piercing or the labret kENNY WAS TRYING TO HAVE HIM GET THE HIP ONES AND HE WAS LIKE KENNY NO MORE PIERCING THINGS ON THE LOWER HALF OF MY BODY GO TO HORNY JAIL!!!! like i personally think he would have slayed that w the edgy hip tattoos BUT ANYWAYS HES STANBANNED FROM PIERCINGS! but thats ok the only piercing hes looking forward to rn...is jerseys piercing gaze.
amen, gaymen, live laugh love ravesey world domination and hot boy ravenstan with all the fruity emo boy saucy lead singer boy piercings!
-uncle nina, who is surprised my son's belly button piercing did not get infected because that was seriously unethical and unsterile, also i'm still laughing abt raven losing a nipple, that was so unserious
7 notes
·
View notes