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#anyway. i am lucky to have and love her!!
doomfully · 1 year
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my gf and i are moving to austin in january. and i am so incredibly looking forward to it. 😭
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thaliagrayce · 1 year
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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!
How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!
I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.
Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.
#hazel levesque#hoo#mj talks#like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there#the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus#of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo#which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died#even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level#and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real#heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing#she deserves it <3#nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it#and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered#hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches#and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings
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wistfulwatcher · 1 year
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nat + the torn fishnets
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corfisers · 10 months
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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niuxita21 · 2 hours
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Auntie P being the most beautiful woman at the party despite only being there for 2 seconds. Her power!!!!!
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dottores · 1 year
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Wtf did you put on my timeline 😀
Since the history of Y/N stories, the reader ALWAYS had a backstory. I fail to see how this suddenly makes Y/N a OC. The same goes for gender. Usually in the description or first sentence you would immediately know Y/N’s gender. It’s nice to be inclusive but you can’t force the author to cater to a specific demographic.
I will admit though: I LOATHE when a author enforces a skintone onto Y/N without mentioning it in the beginning. The fact this stuff is rarely tag is pretty annoying. If authors have to tag their fanfic with “POC!Reader” to point out that reader is meant to have a ethnic background, for the love of god please do the same if the reader is meant to be interpreted as white. Nothing puts me out of a story when I envisioned a character to fit the story only to see them described as “pale, fair skinned” by the narrator several paragraphs later.
There is a really nice plugin for AO3 where it can replace pronouns and fill in the Y/N slot with an actual name. It would be nice if such a plugin existed for tumblr. Authors won’t have to give into obligations and those who feel alienated can still enjoy the work.
PLEASEEEEEE AJFHASIUDFHU IF I HAD TO SEE IT YOU GUYS ALL HAVE TO TOO. i am a firm believer of sharing is caring <3
EXACTLY, like especially for authors who do long fics or series, giving reader 0 personality/no background story is next to impossible unless you just want them to like ... be there and take no initiative in the story and just have things happen to them and for them to have no reaction to anything. like even in smut and headcanons, there are going to be little things you can pick out personality-wise, its next to impossible to just have a cardboard cut out reader for any type of fic, much less long fics/series. someone will always disagree with something <- but tee explained this all better in her long rb addition to that post
AND I TOTALLY AGREE! like they had very valid points about physical appearance and properly tagging gender, but i hate the fact that they added all of those valid points in that mess of an argument of why "x reader fics" should have no personality or background, because i felt as if it was totally taking away from that. it's two totally separate issues that they were trying to combine into one big one but just made an even bigger mess out of it.
for real! ao3's tagging system is top tier like i know a lot of people find it confusing but it's so nice to be able to filter any and everything you want or don't want.
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nebulouscoffee · 10 months
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Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this
#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to)#I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky#I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine#and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve#and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn#I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky#(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things)#(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe)#anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D#I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one#even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends#how do Trills even exist#how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now#and still function#how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her#does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically?#does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now?#does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day?#does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more?#idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually...#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao)#cw death
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korixae · 10 months
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my sister’s trying to finish doctor who before november 25th right and she’s fucking power watching, like she was literally on s10 LAST WEEK and tonight she’s just started s13. she’s been getting up at 6:30 everyday to watch it before school and then stealing the tv from the moment she gets home to the moment she goes to sleep. i haven’t seen her or the sofa in months
#i am enthusiastically encouraging her ofc#she expressed to me today how she doesn’t know what she’s going to do once she’s finished. she doesn’t know how to return to a normal life#where every waking moment isn’t consumed with doctor who#i’ll have to introduce her to the spin-offs and eu content#is 10 too young to watch torchwood? i’ll set her off on sja#actaully she turns 11 the day after the last special airs#she asked my mum if we had plans on the 9th and my mum was like NO you can’t have friends to sleep for ur birthday and we were just no no m#ther ofc that’s not what she’s asking we need that night free for the 60th you fiend#it’s been really convenient for me too bcs i’ve got a nice little recap#sooo lucky for her tho thats she’s timed it just right so she can finish it the day new content comes out#we watched the timeless children tonight and she was all ‘>:( the masters so evil’ while i was kicking my feet and going aww arent they so#cute so in love hehehe la la la#she’s deeply invested in thasmin#i cant wait for her to watch s13 cus damn she’s gonna love the thasmin-ness of it all#really just typed this all out on tumblr bcs i have no dw friends irl :( apart from her#i’ve really got her with dw she’s forcing her friends to watch it and for world book day they’re going as rose and the doctor#they’ve started a role play where they write letters as rose and ten to each other across universes#she made tea stained paper and everything#anyways stopping myself here goodnight 🫡#doctor who#kori shitposts#loubatania
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red-eft · 11 months
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most alarming thing to hear at night: random thud from quemada's terrarium. ms. girl some of us r trying to sleep
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dangerliesbeforeyou · 3 months
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i think all airline companies should be burnt to the fucking ground
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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wellll everything could be worse.. at least we're not stranded in the arctic for years on end with lead poisoning and a Beast out to get us 😌
#watched another ep of the terror w my roomie.. qhat a stressful show lucky im too zonked so its going over my head#shes alrwady seen so shes trying not to spoil it for me its my first time 😭#i think she might be getting a cold too. so maybe we're both just coming down w smth and thats why we're so tired#not just med crash but the fog was sooo bad i keep not being able to finish sentences and slurring my speech#luckily shes familiar enough to get the gist of what imean when im so out of it anyway so its okkkk#but ahhh..if its bad again tomorrow ill probably still be able to get through movje night i can watch from bed#but might have to miss the gym :-((( we'll see how it goes maybe itll be okay#mayhe ill take 20/20 again on thurs just so i can go.. ah i dont know we'll see we'll see#whenever i hit this stage of tiredness or illness i always just wanna cuddle so bad too ahhhh#tryung to stay focused on qhat shes saying but she kept putti g her hands in her hair and i could smell her nice shampoo#like okayyyy when is itmy turn to stroke your hair im sitting so nicely here#ahhhh okay im crazy im going to sleep#i do need to be brave and ask if we can ljke hug more sometimes or something though ahh i miss being physically affectionate with anyone#and itskind of big for me like verbal affection js nice but im more of a physical person even if i dont allow myself to express it!!!!!#and i just dont want to cross boundaries or anything or get called needy again. but so what if i am needy nothing wrong eith that#anyway to bed before i start embarrassing mysrlf goodnight everyone i love u muah#.diaries
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So I've been staring at Renegade Nell for like a week now thinking to myself "See, this **should** be the sort of thing I'm into" except it's Disney so I'm inherently suspicious.
Well
I'm five and a half minutes in, and so far it's exceeding expectations
So I guess I'm looking forward to finding out how it holds up by the end?
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lepertamar · 1 year
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i hate………it when my loves’s patterns look like they are mere expressions of a preexisting and underlying platonic ideal i Actually love…..there was a post i saw asking if ppl had any kinks that they only had specifically in the context of doing it at or with one specific person, the implication and responses suggested this was very strange and unusual and it made me realize……nearly .all my kinks are like this—i do not have a kink for x, and merely want someone who is able to fulfill it. i have a kink for ‘doing x with this one specific person who is not interchangeable with any other person on earth who has ever lived.’ same with broader contexts of relationships—i don’t want to be looking for someone who fits Into a preexisting slot for me, i am not into a particular 'type' of thing and looking for real things that can fill—or mimic, live up to, sort of approximate—that role. that is not me! that is so not me!
sure there are obviously some patterns but that’s different, that’s only after the fact. the encounters are what create the pattern in me in the first place. my loves — in ideas, stories, etc — are not ‘oh this is an Example of the preexisting Thing i want’. they are things that i encountered that caused some kind of reaction in my electron bonds that cause me to stick to it and become a slightly different shape, and sure some of that is only possible because of what i am, but mostly it’s that once i have encountered this thing that reshapes my electron bonds and sticks to me, then i also become capable of sticking to similar things, or completely different things i wasn't able to stick to before, sometimes due to convoluted associations, often transcending the association after a bit and connecting with the other things independently of it. i have a really really hard time not reflexively — even just in my own brain—‘justifying’ my loves and patterns by trying to make up an underlying preexisting Empty Slot in the way other people do — trying unthinkingly to explain and come up with ‘a type’ (preexisting) that this one singular particular one-of-a-kind thing or person is just a mere example of/fitting candidate for—but it’s a lie when i do this. it’s lying to myself, and lying to others. i think i have done it on this blog before. but it’s ugly, and untrue, and not me.
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menkhu · 1 year
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wait. ok. hold on.
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dreaminterlude · 2 years
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feeling lonely but i made myself a very delicious iced salted caramel blueberry coffee so it’s not all so bad
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barkingangelbaby · 10 months
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okay posting too much again but I'd usually tweet this shit but don't really use twitter since el*n ruined it lol. but!!! I actually made friends that live in my neighborhood??? whaaaaaat??? very excited+!! I've been struggling making friends (other than my coworkers) since moving here two years ago and I'm:))) very happy n excited !! I'm so socially anxious/awkward irl that anytime I go somewhere/meet new people I assume they think I'm weird/dislike me but they literally invited me to multiple upcoming events & are planning on playing dnd together soon!! ahhh!!!
I got distracted typing this bc my girl just caught a house centipede n I'm thinking about how we kept one as a pet until it died and we named her clementine and N wrote poetry about her that was so beautiful I cried reading it
#drunk rambling#i love our silly little life#i love that she made me not afraid of bugs anymore to the point where i think centipedes are cute#and i can catch spiders n put them outside#sidenote to my sidenote#i can't believe my girl has loved me for almost 8 years!! when we met i was Not Great but she loved me anyways#dudes we have been through so much togetjer i love growing eith her#i love love love that she transitioned and am so happy to support her through it#I love calling her by her new name and love hearing her introduce herselif#i love watching her find her style and practice makeup and buy earrings she likes#i love watching her spin poi and listening to her dm throughout the week#omg y'all she really loved me at my lowest and im 🥰🥰🥰 how did i get so lucky to randomly meet her on tinder and fall in love#like !!!@#we met when i was 19 amd im 26 now ????#she's literally my best friend i love herrrrrrrrrr#still rambling#she literally taught me how to develop photos on our first date how fucking cooll is that ????#them the second date we made soup and she gsve me mh first dab and i was so high i stayed the night and we spent 26 hours together#thennnn i texted her danny devito memes for like 2 hours straight and she had a clever response to each one and i knew she was the one#hehe on our soup date i was thinking sbout adking her to hangout again but she texyed me first saying she couldn't help but ask to hangout#literally the day after we met!!@@@#my heart@@@@@!!!!!!#lol ao many typos excuse my drunk texting#im just 🥰🥰🥰#rAMbles
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