#not to mention: i feel like my calm/easygoing self around her.

[doomfully]

my gf and i are moving to austin in january. and i am so incredibly looking forward to it. 😭

[mintsv]

cherry blossom - k. gyuvin

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pairing ➷ gyuvin x gn!reader

synopsis : you and gyuvin were in your last years of high school and lived beside each other. at school, he's captain of the basketball team, gyuvin is friendly and easygoing, not to mention he's extremely popular. on the other hand, you're the class president and have been for many years, you very studious, making you not have many friends. nevertheless, your fateful friendship bloomed under the cherry blossoms of april.

genre : romance . fluff . slight angst . high school au

word count : 3.5k

warnings : swearing (only once tho)

notes : hii i posted again finally!! sorry bcs english isnt my first language there might be some grammar errors 😅, it's also my first time writing a gn!reader so i'm sorry if i make some mistakes ;D

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➷ the first encounter

it was the month of april, the start of spring, and your favorite month of the year mostly because you enjoy gazing at the cherry blossoms on your way back from school. you wore a mid-length puffer jacket since the weather was a bit chilly, holding your hands up to your face to see your fingertips have become slightly reddish. you sigh as you bury your hands back in the pockets of your puffer as you tried distracting yourself from the cold by talking to your classmate beside you.

"soo.. about the cherry blossom festival, i was thinking we could do something involving our basketball team since you know, the captain is in our class of course.." she giggled, acting giddyly similar to a child.

"well, I've had 5 people telling me the same thing and i'll repeat my answer one last time, I'll think about it okay? but there's a big chance it's not going to happen." you exasperatingly sigh as the girl beside you inevitably left after realizing you wouldn't agree to her request.

as the class president, your duty is to arrange class activities, one of them being the cherry blossom festival happening in a few weeks time. there wasn't a particular reason why you denied all the requests, you just weren't very fond of the boy. he was always late to class, sometimes even skipping entirely to play basketball. his behaviour took a toll on your status as class president, teachers who couldn't get through the boy would often scold you instead.

you thought this calming walk back home couldn't get any worse until you were met face to face with the devil himself.

he wasn't walking home with his friends like he normally would, he looked back when he felt someone's stare burning holes on his back, his eyes with yours almost immediately.

as if on cue, a 10 thousand won bill (around 7 usd) fell from one of the swaying cherry trees, landing perfectly in between you and him. both of your eyes followed the bill as it glides down to the concrete floor, your eyes going back and forth from the bill to the boy in front of you.

CRASH!

"Ow!"

feeling a head collide with yours, you let out a painful hiss while holding your head with one arm. slowly you look up to see the boy in front of you mirroring your movements. you were both knelt down, one hand on the dollar bill with the other clutching your heads.

"Aha! my hand is under yours, that means the 10k is mine." his words woke you up from the trance you were in, widening your eyes when you realized your hands were on top of his own. you quickly pulled away but that didn't mean you were backing up.

"yeah but that's because you hit my hand!" you retorted back, showing him the red mark on the back of your hand.

"it was just an act of self defense i'm sorry, um.. what if we just split it, I'll buy you something from the cafeteria?" the boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, stretching out his hand that held the dollar bill.

you thought to yourself for a moment before replying,

"fine, i'll forgive you under three conditions." you stood up with your arms crossed. the boy in front of you following as he nodded erratically.

"one, you can never be late nor skip classes from tomorrow onward and explain to mr lee why you've been late this entire time. two, your basketball team has to participate in this year's cherry blossom festival as the representative of our class. and three, you owe me a carton of strawberry milk." you smirk proudly, seeing the color drain from the boy's face.

"okay okay, what if we skip number one and two and i'll buy you TWO cartons of strawberry milk? how does that sound?" he pleaded.

"fine then, i'm telling the counselor you hurt a fellow student." you started to walk back to school but before you could take another step, a hand held your wrist to prevent you from walking further, just as you expected.

"okay, fine. jeez i didn't know the class president was this stern." he smirked almost flirtingly even though you didn't get the hint.

"i have a name you know, it's y/n." you turn to face him again, annoyed because in the school almost no one calls you by your real name and for some reason it made you think no one actually knew your name.

"alright y/n, i'm kim gyuvin and it's nice to meet you too." he grinned similar to a puppy, extending his hand waiting to be shook by yours.

you looked at his hand, back to his face, and to his hand again. after a few seconds of contemplation, you lightly extended your cold hand which was quickly greeted by the warmth of gyuvin's.

just for a moment there, you felt a foreign feeling of butterflies swarming your stomach.

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➷ a few months later

"KIM GYUVIN!" you bang on his apartment door, looking at the time on your phone before stepping away from the door.

"I'M UP! I'M UP!" like usual, the door slammed open, revealing a disheveled gyuvin in his school uniform that was horribly crinkled. his eyes were barely open and his hair was stood up, obvious that he had just gotten up from bed.

"did you sleep in your school uniform?" you tilt your head, looking at him from head to toe with a concerned look. it was your daily task to wake up gyuvin every morning ever since you found out that the both of you lived beside each other, obviously neither of you ever noticed considering gyuvin's 'always late' agenda and your 'always early' one.

"no.." you roll your eyes as he sheepishly smiles.

"there's still 30 minutes, go take a shower, you stink." you forcefully push the boy back into his apartment, shutting the door behind him. you could make out a bunch of whines coming from the opposite side, meanwhile you couldn't help the small grin from forming on your face.

after 10 minutes, the door opened for the second time, unveiling a less disheveled gyuvin. his hair fluffed up giving him a boyish look, the tiredness in his eyes was now replaced with a glint of excitement, his clothes seemingly less crinkled and his puppy-like smile on full display.

god you thought you had just fallen in love for the millionth time.

gyuvin slung his arms around your shoulder almost putting you in a headlock, "I know i'm terribly handsome but we might be late if you can't stop staring." he gave you a smug look in which you returned with a disgusted one.

"whatever."

you both walked to school as usual, his arms weren't slung around you anymore since there were other students around and gyuvin didn't want them 'getting the wrong idea'.

arriving at school on time was something gyuvin wasn't used to but he didn't mind if it meant he could spend more time with his best friend, you (of course).

"you're coming to my match this afternoon right, class prez?"

'class prez' that was the nickname gyuvin gave you ever since you both met, he would rarely call you by your real name, only if things were serious which barely ever happens anyways.

"yeah, if i can." you respond nonchalantly.

"you always say that, but at the end of the day you always come." he gave you a small grin which made your cheeks turn a pinkish hue.

"whatever."

"whatever, whatever, whatever, do you ever say anything else?" as the both of you continued bickering, the boy's contagious smile made you break out into a grin as well. to other people, both of you looked like two kids madly in love with each other. as cliché as it sounds, it was painfully obvious to everyone except you and gyuvin.

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school had just officially ended for the day. Your classmates bid you goodbye, everyone in a hurry to see the upcoming basketball match between your school and the neighboring school. of course, gyuvin had left earlier in order to fulfill his duties as team captain. currently, you were fulfilling your own duties as class president with your assistant, park gunwook.

"y/n why do we have to do this? can't we just do this tomorrow, pleaasee i really wanna see the match!" the boy beside you pleaded, having his head ontop of his folded arms, looking at the window where you could see students holding banners hurrying inside the school gym where the match was held.

"if you stop whining we might be able to sort these in time so we can see the match, gunwook." you reply sternly, quickly going over the files the teacher assigned you.

"don't lie y/n, i know you wanna skip and watch your loverboy too." gunwook looks to you with a teasing glint in his eyes that you didn't take notice of.

"my what? stop fooling around and help me sort these!" though your voice was a bit shaky, it seemed to convince gunwook enough for him to start helping you.

as time went by, you skimmed over the endless stack of files, eyes growing visibly tired and red. on the other hand, the 'assistant' beside you had already fallen deep into dreamland after helping you with one or two files. you couldn't help but listen to the ongoing match inside the gym and the faint sound of cheering, praying you'd finish these soon enough to join in the bleachers.

after a while, you finally finished sorting the needed files, rubbing your eyes tiredly. you dropped the files in front of gunwook with a loud thud.

"AHH YOU SCARED ME!" he woke up in a cold sweat, holding his hand to his heart.

"take these to mr choi, i'm leaving now." you quickly pack your bags, leaving the boy alone in the classroom still recovering from the shock you gave him.

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inside the gym, it was break time for both teams and gyuvin's eyes couldn't help but scan through the crowd of people on the bleachers, not seeing the face he was looking for, he sighed in defeat as his mind went back to the conversation he had with you in the morning.

><

"i'm serious gyuvin, i might not be able to make it today, i have a lot of things to do, so i apologize beforehand."

"it's okay, don't apologize, it's not your fault. just..come by if you can."

><

his mood was somewhat down since the start of the match, leading his team to worry about the boy.

"hey man you ok? a little bit more and we can catch up, don't give up now!" his teammate, ricky spoke up while slinging his arms around the brunette's shoulder.

"no it's not that, ricky." gyuvin removed the arm around his shoulder, slumping down onto his seat, head hung low.

"ohhh i know, it's because his 'class prez' isn't here yet." his other teammate, yujin chirped in an attempt to ease the tension, earning a nudge from ricky.

"dude don't say that!"

"what? say what?!" yujin held his lower stomach where ricky had nudged him as they both continued to bicker.

gyuvin wasn't paying attention to the two boys in front of him, more focused on his phone which he unconciously keeps checking. he had hoped for a text message from you, confirming if you were coming by or not. but no matter how long he waited, the text never came. eventually, the horns had blasted, signalling the start of the final round to decide the winner of the match.

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meanwhile, arriving at the basketball court, you ran to the bleachers, taking up the last remaining spot on the railing as your eyes scan the court in front of you. you were out of breath from all the running you did to get here, chest heaving up and down as your eyes frantically searched for the brunette.

as gyuvin was getting into position, his eyes trailed to the bleachers one last time. to his surprise, the first pair of eyes he had met was yours. the frown on his face was suddenly nowhere to be seen, his eyes lit up and he felt a warm feeling engulf in his heart.

hurriedly, you scribble down 'kim gyuvin!' on a page of your sketchbook, holding it up for the boy to see. gyuvin's smile got impossibly bigger upon seeing his written name, his eyes lit up as he shamelessly waved to you which made his teammates look at him, dumbfounded and also slightly relieved to know their captain was back.

"see, i told you if y/n comes he'll be back to normal." yujin smirked as he nudged ricky, who seems to be unbothered by the younger male, his focus mainly on the pair before he eventually drags gyuvin to his designated position as the referee signalled the start of the game.

throughout the final game, you were incredibly stressed out while your eyes moved back and forth from the score board and to the brown haired boy. both teams were already incredibly tired except for gyuvin who looked like he was playing in the first round.

"pass! pass!"

the brunette yelled from across the court, after obtaining the ball, he took a risky move which made you and a few others jump from their seats. the scores were exceptionally close and time was limited, meaning if he managed to score this 3-point, the team is guaranteed a victory.

for a split second, the crowd went silent as gyuvin shot the ball. just as the timer ticked zero, the crowd erupted with cheers and the alarm went off signalling the end of the match. gyuvin had succesfully scored a point, making his team the ultimate winner.

the boy felt like he was on cloud 9 with so many people calling on his name and his teammates hurdling around him with smiles on their faces. but most importantly, there you were on the bleachers, smiling at him and giving him a thumbs up which he found utterly adorable. after the cheers had slowed down, gyuvin excused himself from his teammates, running to the locker and changing his clothes as fast as he could.

when he got out, he was met by your presence almost immediately.

"congratulations! sorry i couldn't come earlier." your smile wasn't as big since you tried to keep your cool in front of hin.

gyuvin didn't respond for a while which worried you, but you were surprised to feel your feet up in the air as two arms lifted you up and spun you around. you held onto his shoulder for balance basically hugging him as you could smell his faint cologne making you blush provusely. the red on your cheeks didn't go unnoticed by the boy but he only shrugged it off thinking you were just excited for him.

after many complaints from you, gyuvin put you back down. he smiled ear to ear as he rubbed his nape nervously.

"sorry, i'm just happy you came." you couldnt bear the eye contact with him, your eyes searched for anything other than the boy.

"by the way you look really tired, was there a lot of work?" he continued, cupping your cheeks with both of his hands, forcing you to look at him. it was something he often did and it made you feel butterflies as his two hands felt warm on your cold cheeks.

"y-yeah i had to do everything by myself since gunwook fell asleep halfway, it's fine though i'm not that tired." you tried to reassure him, circling your hands around his wrists to pull him away but it only made him squish your face harder which made you let out a whine.

"but your eyes are so red! hurry, i'll take you home so you can get some rest." finally letting go of your face, he takes one of your wrists and lead you to the gym where all his friends are waiting for him.

"gyuvin i feel fine, i wanna stay here longer please?"

"why do you want to stay here-" his words were cut short by an unfamiliar voice.

"kim gyuvin!"

from behind the boy appeared a girl who looks to be one of your underclassmen. it's no doubt gyuvin is popular among seniors, but classes below you weren't an exception either.

gyuvin turned around to face the younger girl and you followed suit, leaning in a bit to listen to their conversation.

"can i help you?" gyuvin spoke in a polite manner.

"gyuvin oppa, can we talk outside i have something to tell you." the girl fiddled with the hem of her skirt nervously, you already knew where this was going and gyuvin did too.

"i'm sorry i-"

"please? it's really important it wont take long.." the girl pleaded, holding on to the hem of his shirt and the sight almost making you puke.

despite gyuvin's hesitation, he looked back to you and mouthed a 'sorry' before being rushed off by the girl.

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after gyuvin left you let out the biggest sigh, having such a popular best friend was hard and not to mention your enormous crush on him made it even worse.

essentially you wanted to stay at school longer to spend time with the best friend who just left you, but since he's no longer here you find a spot to sit on the bleachers. you remember the two cans of soda in your backpack, now having no one to share them with.

as you pop open one of the cans, before you could take a sip, you felt a presence beside you.

"hey, can i sit here?" a familiar voice caught your attention, shen quanrui aka ricky who is your classmate and one of gyuvin's friends.

"oh, um sure." you took your backpack from the seat, putting it on your lap and taking a sip of your soda.

"soo.. y/n right? i heard a lot about you from gyuvin."

"haha yeah.. you're ricky right? i also hear about you from gyuvin."

an awkward silence flew in the air for a solid 10 seconds.

"do you know what he's doing right now? i've been looking all over and i can't find him." his question reminded you again why you were talking to him in the first place, he left cause some girl is gonna confess to him, should you really say that?

"well, a girl pulled him outside, said she has something important to tell him and you can guess the rest." you chuckle bitterly.

"it's hard to be friends with someone so popular isn't it?" somehow his statement brightened your mood a little.

"yeah, that's exactly what i was just thinking." you finally had the courage to lift your head and look at the blonde beside you.

ricky was also semi-popular, his looks are well known to everyone in the school and his personality wasn't so bad either.

"so he really left you alone here? what an asshole, maybe i should beat him later." he put his hands into fists and started punching the air like a boxer.

"oh please don't, i think the girl he's talking to right now has tortured him enough." ricky laughed and you followed suit, feeling more comfortable as time went by.

"do you like soda?"

"well it depends, i only like it when it's a 1+1 deal." you chuckle, handing him the can of soda in your backpack since yours was almost finished and you wanted to have a soda buddy to drink with.

"thanks, i like it even better when it's free."

"oh please, you owe me lunch tomorrow."

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meanwhile outside of the gym,

"oppa, i really like you- no! i love you please go out with me!" the girl stretched out her hands, holding a thick envelope which could only mean one thing.

"i'm really sorry, but i'm not interested in relationships right now. and i don't want your money." the boy politely bowed, pushing the girl's hands back.

"please! i'll double the money if you want to, just go out with me once, i really like you please give me one chance!" gyuvin has had a series of confessions to him, but this was his first one that seemed a bit extreme.

"i can't, i'm sorry but i-"

"oppa, do you like someone already?"

"what?" the question made gyuvin stop in his tracks.

"you do don't you? is that why you don't want to accept my love? who is it just be honest!" the younger girl was now sobbing uncontrollably which fueled panic in gyuvin who didn't know how to properly comfort the girl, especially being the reason shes crying in the first place.

"no i don't like anyone, but i'm sorry i can't go out with you please stop crying.." he nervously patted her back in an attempt to soothe her but it had only made her cry louder, hence he stood and did nothing at all.

"oppa, you like y/n don't you?"

"what? no.." gyuvin felt a lump in his throat, his head suddenly flooded with thoughts of you, his best friend.

"so you do.. lucky them." the girl wiped the last of her tears before cowardly running away, leaving gyuvin dumbfounded with a new thought clouding his brain.

'do i like y/n?"

read chapter 2 here!

-> extra note : this is also gonna be two or three parts SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but i hope you enjoy it because this was really cringe when i wrote it 😅 (fyi the opening was based on a recent film i watched on netflix called omg (oh my girl) its really good highly recommended!)

[myopinionhi]

A Will Solace Character Analysis: the Underappreciated Soft Side

I've noticed many fanfictions have Will Solace OOC. So I’ve been thinking about aspects of Will’s personality fans seem to either gloss over or exaggerate. Here, this post is me doing an in-depth analysis explaining Will Solace’s canon personality in the books, and how it can sometimes differ from fanfictions. Sprinkled in this analysis are tips to fanfiction writers on how they write Will as more in-character.

There is one major aspect of Will that people seem to ignore or underemphasize. Nico best explains it when describing Will in this quote

Jason was a fighter. You could tell from the intensity of his stare, his constant alertness, the coiled-up energy in his frame. Will Solace was more like a lanky cat stretched out in sunshine. His movements were relaxed and nonthreatening, his gaze soft and far away. In his faded SURF BARBADOS T-shirt, his cutoff shorts and flip-flops, he looked about as aggressive as a demigod could get, but Nico knew he was brave under fire. During the Battle of Manhattan, Nico had seen him in action - the camp's best combat medic, risking his life to save wounded campers.

To sum it up, Will Solace is a very chill and calm character. A lot of writers make Will more irrational, impulsive, overbearing, and emotional than he actually is. Will is not the type of character to create drama unless he's, as Nico puts it, "under fire." In other words, the intense side of his personality doesn't come out unless the situation is urgent or dire.

Fans remember during the Second Giant War how he gets angry and argues with Nico over Nico's health and shadow-traveling, so many assume Will is going to be this fiery over a lot of other things regarding their relationship. For example, fanfic writers may make Will controlling or overly sensitive with Nico. However, keep in mind, Will gets heated with Nico during the Second Giant War because Nico's shadow-traveling is killing him. This is how Will describes Nico's dire state.

"Coach Hedge told me all about your shadow-travel. You can’t try that again."

"I just did try it again, Solace. I’m fine."

"No, you’re not. I’m a healer. I could feel the darkness in your hand as soon as I touched it. Even if you made it to that tent, you’d be in no shape to fight. But you wouldn’t make it. One more slip, and you won’t come back. You are not shadow-travelling. Doctor’s orders."

Will is a healer. When he touches Nico's hand, he can sense how little sleep and food Nico has been getting and how Nico's being taken over by darkness. Nico is on the verge of death and hasn't cared about his health for a long time. Nico is also stubborn about it, so Will has to be aggressive in order to save Nico's life. This aggressive behavior is not the norm for Will, but it can sometimes come out when he has to assert control in a life-or-death situation.

Will is a calming prescence. He's a diplomat. He stops violence on multiple occassions.

He's one of the few people who's able to calm Clarisse's violent rage, and he does so in a gentle manner.

Clarisse pointed her dagger at Rachel. "What about their allies, huh? Did you see that tribe of two-headed men that arrived yesterday? Or the glowing red dog-headed guys with the big poleaxes? They look pretty barbaric to me. It would’ve been nice if you’d foreseen any of that, if your Oracle power didn’t break down when we needed it most!"

Rachel’s face turned as red as her hair. "That’s hardly my fault. Something is wrong with Apollo’s gifts of prophecy. If I knew how to fix it –"

"She’s right." Will Solace, head counsellor for the Apollo cabin, put his hand gently on Clarisse’s wrist. Not many campers could’ve done that without getting stabbed, but Will had a way of defusing people’s anger. He got her to lower her dagger. "Everyone in our cabin has been affected. It’s not just Rachel."

One of the most underrated Will Solace moments is when he stops a bloody battle from happening between Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter.  

But he knew it wouldn’t do any good. After weeks of waiting, agonizing and steaming, the Greeks and Romans wanted blood. Trying to stop the battle now would be like trying to push back a flood after the dam broke.

Will Solace saved the day.

He put his fingers in his mouth and did a taxicab whistle even more horrible than the last. Several Greeks dropped their swords. A ripple went through the Roman line like the entire First Cohort was shuddering.

"DON’T BE STUPID!" Will yelled. "LOOK!"

People are so used to seeing demigods, especially male demigods, being aggressive fighters that they can't wrap their heads around a brave and strong demigod who actively tries to avoid unnecessary conflict and destruction as much as he can.

And that's Will Solace's strength: he has the ability to prevent as much harm as possible.

Will is a difficult character to write. There's a lot of dueling factors with his personality. He's calm and pacifying while also being brave and assertive. He's fun and lighthearted while also being intelligent, logical, and grounded. He's laidback while also being responsible and hardworking. He's insecure but not melodramatic. He's very caring and protective but not pushy.

Will's personality confuses Nico sometimes too.

He’d always thought of Will as easygoing and laid back. Apparently he could also be stubborn and aggravating.

The trick to writing Will is to keep in mind his default personality is a soft and lighthearted character. Writers tend to overemphasize the hard side of his personality when his default personality is actually the soft side.

Think of the relaxing, lanky cat metaphor Nico uses for him. He and Nico bicker often, and it works for Will because he rolls with everything and doesn't take things too seriously. He's able to alleviate Nico's moodiness with humor, wittiness, groundedness, and patience. Nico affectionately calls Will a "dork" because Will usually keeps things light. Interestingly enough, he's able to be lighthearted without coming across as insensitive or an airheaded goofball, the latter of which is something Nico dislikes about Percy's personality. On a related sidenote, another way writers make Will OOC is they make him too dumb or too immature. I know I mentioned to focus on Will's soft side, but be careful to avoid that too. He's a SENSIBLE, lanky cat.

The way Will keeps his composure during a stressful situation by using laughter while still being mature is expressed well in this exchange with Apollo. (Yes, Will has a lot to manage.)

It was difficult to think of this young man as my son. He was so poised, so unassuming, so free of acne. He also didn’t appear to be awestruck in my presence. In fact, the corner of his mouth had started twitching.

“Are—are you amused?” I demanded.

Will shrugged. “Well, it’s either find this funny or freak out. My dad, the god Apollo, is a fifteen-year-old—”

“Sixteen,” I corrected. “Let’s go with sixteen.”

“A sixteen-year-old mortal, lying in a cot in my cabin, and with all my healing arts—which I got from you—I still can’t figure out how to fix you.”

“There is no fixing this,” I said miserably. “I am cast out of Olympus. My fate is tied to a girl named Meg. It could not be worse!”

Will laughed, which I thought took a great deal of gall. “Meg seems cool. She’s already poked Connor Stoll in the eyes and kicked Sherman Yang in the crotch.”

The fiercer side of Will's personality comes out only when the situation calls for it; this happens sometimes when he has to be a caring family member, a responsible healer, or a warrior in a dire situation. Even when he gets more forceful, he doesn't get more forceful than he has to.

Since Will has such a balanced and lighthearted personality, what are his flaws? What are the dark sides of his personality? There are four main things that stick out.

1. He's insecure about his self-perceived lack of abilities.

"I agree," Will said. "I wish I was a better archer … I wouldn’t mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father’s gifts to stop this war." He looked down at his own hands with distaste. "Unfortunately, I’m just a healer."

2. He sometimes struggles to endure the heavy responsibilities he has as a healer and as a protector to his family.

“I got it reattached,” Will told me, his voice shaky with exhaustion. His scrubs were speckled with blood. “I need somebody to keep him stable.”

I pointed to the woods. “But—”

“I know!” Will snapped. “Don’t you think I want to be out there searching too? We’re shorthanded for healers. There’s some salve and nectar in that pack. Go!”

I was stunned by his tone. I realized he was just as concerned about Kayla and Austin as I was. The only difference: Will knew his duty. He had to heal the injured first. And he needed my help.

3. He forces himself to bottle his emotions to keep his composure.

Will laughed under his breath. “I’m terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else. Let’s get you on your feet."

Here's a second example.

I rested my hand on Will’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back by dawn.”

His mouth trembled ever so slightly. “How can you be sure?”

4. He constantly worries about his loved ones.

Nico rested his hand on Will’s shoulder. “Apollo, we were worried. Will was especially.”

In conclusion, Will Solace's personality is difficult to get correct. But don't worry, if you write Will as a laidback, witty cat in your fanfics, I guarantee he'll be more in-character than many other fanfics with Will Solace.

(Note: I am only human. If you believe I'm misinterpreting some aspects of Will's personality, feel free to express it. What I say isn't 100 percent the right interpretation.)

[skelswritingcorner]

Heartslabyul + Autistic!MC

This was originally posted on my Wattpad in October 2020 (link here!), but I vowed to repost my Autistic!MC UA when I got around to making this blog. This series was written to imagine what the story would generally be like with an autistic & AFAB MC and their interactions with the cast in the main story would be like.

Please note that the fic uses femminine pronouns as I was writing it with the MC being female in mind, as I am a woman myself and find it easier to write female MCs/reader inserts (I’m posting it here as it’s written on Wattpad). However, feel free to interpret this MC as any gender you may please since this doesn’t involve things like menstruation (the next two parts do involve stuff AFAB and/or trans women have). Other than that, please enjoy this fic! Under the cut due to length.

Riddle Rosehearts At first Riddle just thought she was a shy person. He had a feeling that it wasn't the case, but couldn't be bothered to ask her. Prior to his overblot, he hardly spoke to her since she was in Ramshackle dorm. However, he noticed that she regularly avoided eye contact with everybody around her. He just found MC awfully passive.

The first time he saw her at one of the Unbirthday Parties, he noticed she often spun around or paced back and forth, occasionally fidgeting with her sleeves. After the party, he entertained the idea of asking her himself about her behavior, but decided to ask Trey if he had any idea after dealing with some rule breakers. Trey couldn't exactly pinpoint anything in particular, he knew she mentioned in passing that she finds certain textures weird or wanders into a quiet location because she says 'I'm a little overwhelmed.'

After his overblot, Cater mentioned in passing how MC had no sense of danger around him, and literally approached him like normal. Everyone, even Crowley, was baffled to her behavior. "She even squished your cheeks and giggled because your skin is soft?" Riddle vaguely remembered her doing that, and the absolute confusion running through his head at her lack of fear.

When he finally asked her about it, MC replied with, "Oh, I'm on the autism spectrum. Some of my behavior might be weird, and I don't know if there's any documentation of autism in this world." After she said that, all of her behavior made sense to Riddle. He even began documenting her behaviors when he could, actions she does to calm down (aka stims), and things like her special interests. He wants to make sure he can understand her, and maybe help her advocate for herself.

Trey Clover This man's pretty chill. He notices her behavior pretty quickly. He has a little sister, and he knows certain behaviors aren't normal. However, because his sister likely isn't as old as MC, he has to talk with Cater to see if any of her behavior could be considered "normal". When Cater confirms that he never seen similar behavior in his own sisters ("Then again," Cater chuckles, "not all women are the same.").

When he asked Ace, Deuce, Grim and MC to collect chestnuts to make mont blanc he noticed how she didn't really care, but she said she kind of wanted to stretch her legs anyways.

When the five made the mont blanc, Trey noticed that MC didn't eat much of it since she said she wasn't a big fan of the texture and wasn't really hungry, and gave the rest to Grim. He kept note of it, but didn't think of asking her.

Later, when the five of them and Crowley were in the library after the events of the Unbirthday Party the day before, Trey noticed she went missing and started to panic. A little while later MC came back with a book that caught her eye. He and Crowley had a word with her to tell them next time when she's going somewhere so they don't panic again.

Out of the five dudes of Heartslabyul, he was the last to find out that MC was on the spectrum when the six of them ate Riddle's tart. She said something along the lines of, "Oyster sauce can't change the texture, but it'll make it too salty for me. Sensory inputs, y'know?" Poor dude was so confused when Cater broke the news to him, but Trey is understanding since Cater himself doesn't like certain kinds of flavors.

He might even ask MC what her favorite desserts are and try to make them for her when he has the chance.

Cater Diamond This dude's pretty easygoing, so he might be the most understanding out of everyone in Heartslabyul. When he first met MC he noticed how she paced around behind Ace and Deuce. When he asked them, Ace replied with, "Oh, she does that a lot. Says she has too much energy and has to use it somehow." He suggested that the three help him paint the roses red. They agreed to do so before class began (since Ace was wearing the collar and MC doesn't have magic, they had to use a paintbrush).

After Cater demonstrated how to paint the roses, he noticed that MC mimicked his actions exactly, down to the smallest movement. He found this interesting, even told a few of his classmates and Trey. Cater wanted to get to know her more, so he decided to talk with MC during lunch.

When he approached her, he noticed that she was somewhat shy and hardly talked much. Then again, she was eating so she likely didn't want to talk while eating food. After asking Deuce, he found out she's not exactly a talkative person.

Sometimes he noticed that she'd go into the light music room when nobody was there to study or read in peace. Part of him wanted to say hello, but he decided to respect the fact that she likely wanted some time alone and left.

When Cater came by after Trey, Ace, Deuce, Grim and MC finished making mont blanc he noticed that she didn't eat any (or had a tiny bit before giving it to Grim) because she didn't exactly like the texture. This made something click that something might be a little different with her. He decided to do some research, but couldn't find anything concrete.

During Riddle's overblot, he was shocked at MC's lack of a sense of danger and how she casually approached him and squished his cheeks and giggled uncontrollably. After the fight, she had Riddle's head resting in her lap when he asked MC about herself.

"Oh, I'm on the autism spectrum. I don't know if there's much documentation of it in this world, I hope my answer helps explain some of my behavior." this clicked with Cater, causing everything he noticed that was unique about her to finally make sense. When he finds out her special interest (let's just say it's drawing since it's one of mine), he might ask to take pictures of her with her art and post it on his Magicam account.

Deuce Spade (I basically gave up here) This confused baby...he's trying his best. He was confused when MC would randomly start crying at first, he'll try to comfort her. Sometimes he sees her spinning around or walking in circles during PE, but doesn't think of asking her about it.

When Deuce and MC went to Sam's Shop to get ingredients for Trey, he noticed how she would often glance at random objects for a moment and then focus on another. Confused him, but didn't think of asking about it.

When he had the impromptu sleepover with Ace, Grim and MC he noticed how she could ramble on and on about drawing. When he asked how she could go on about that topic and seemingly not stop Ace broke the news to him.

Now he just has more understanding of her behavior, he didn't really change much when he found out MC was autistic (other than wondering why she wanted to draw his magical wheel).

Ace Trappola This dude was pretty much the first to figure it out. When he and Grim had a quarrel on Main Street she was getting tears in her eyes randomly trying to stop everything from escalating.

Another time was when she randomly started crying in flying class, when he and Deuce asked her what was wrong she said between sniffles that sometimes she gets this urge to cry for no reason whatsoever, sometimes the same happens but she gets laughing fits.

He was the first one to find out MC is autistic when he goes to Ramshackle Dorm after he got his head 'cut off' by Riddle when she said she admired how he found advocating for himself so easily. When he asked her why, she replied with, "As someone on the autism spectrum I struggle with social skills, one of them being self advocacy."

After that, Ace tries his best to help her speak up for herself and comfort her if she randomly starts crying during class.

[ellohcee]

It Seems Fitting

Summary: (get it cause they meet at the fitting rooms)

Well this is something I’ve had sitting around for a while and it was going to accompany a piece for day 7 of Jaspvid week until the other idea hit me. Since I had this mostly fixed up to post by that time I decided to finish up and post it anyway.

- - - -

David hummed softly as he turned back and forth in the mirror, tugging the dress shirt down a little and trying to see how it rested in the back. He liked it, it looked good with the slacks and vest but he would have to get the seal of approval first. He turned around and opened the door to step out of the dressing room stall, looking down at himself as he did so. “Okay, how does this look?”

“Rockin.”

David froze because that was most definitely not Gwen, looking up to see a man standing there with a pair of black pants slung over his arm, paused midway to find an open room. He looked nonplussed, but David immediately flushed red in mortification regardless. “OH, I’m- I’m sorry I was expecting my friend to be out here I’m so sorry-” he stammered.

“Hey hey, it’s chill,” the man said with a grin, making David’s stomach flutter. “But for real though, it’s good on you.”

“You really think?” David asked, his shoulders hunching a little closer to his ears.

“Yeah dude. I mean, I’ve been told my fashion sense is shit so take my word with a grain of salt, but I think you look baller,” he said matter-of-factly. “Classy.”

“Oh. Thank you,” David replied, pleasantly surprised.

“David I found you another tie that’s less stupid looking- oh, hey, friend of yours?” Gwen asked as she walked up, looking between the two curiously.

David stammered for a moment before the stranger cut in, rescuing him. “Impromptu outfit rater. I was just tellin’ your boy here he looks-” he paused to click his tongue, rocking a fist side to side with his thumb and pinky extended. “Awesome.”

David flushed as Gwen let out a bark of laughter, giving him a look that doubled his embarrassment and told him he’d never live this down. “You giant dork, did you just barge out here and ask a stranger?”

“I wasn’t looking and I thought you would be out here like you said!” David protested in mortification, his ears and cheeks red as can be and suddenly feeling too hot under the bright lights of the fitting rooms.

“I’m sorry but I had to get a different tie, that one with the pine trees is so fucking stupid,” she shot back while the stranger watched on, obviously amused by their bickering.  

“But I like it,” David whined in protest.

“Fine, let’s ask your new outfit rater,” Gwen teased as David started to protest, holding two ties up to the man while ignoring David’s hurried attempt at intervention. “Which one do you think would go best?”

“Gwen, come on, leave him alone I’ve already bothered him enough-”

“I like the pine trees,” their new friend replied calmly, smiling at their incredulous looks.

Gwen groaned, her eyes rolling so far skyward and her shoulders dropping in defeat. “God, seriously, you too?” she demanded, giving him a betrayed look despite knowing this man for all of two minutes.

“Yeah man! I’m not a big tie guy, but when I am absolutely forced to wear one, I do like me a good fun pattern,” he said, winking at David. “The trees are cute, and the green matches your eyes.”

David’s face went redder, his heart giving a big uncomfortable thump because excuse me pardon but what did the wink mean??

Meanwhile Gwen made a frustrated noise. “Fine, keep your stupid dorky pine trees,” she grumbled, tossing the tie at David and earning a surprised noise as he fumbled to catch it. He blinked down at the tie before looking up to watch Gwen as she left to put the other one back.

David swallowed, looking back over to his impromptu outfit rater. “Um, s-sorry,” he said, trying to smile.

“No worries dude, it’s all good. I’m Jasper, by the way,” he dropped casually, shoving his free hand in his jeans pocket and resting his weight to one side.

“Oh! Uh, David!” the redhead replied pleasantly, straightening out the tie in his hands before he could wrinkle it. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Jasper grinned, making David’s stomach flip again because gosh what a nice smile he was such a sucker for a nice smile and he was so not prepared to have a conversation with someone so handsome in the dressing room after embarrassing himself like that-

“So Fancy Pants, you guys gettin’ ready for a thing?” Jasper asked, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts.

“Oh, yes, Gwen insisted that I get something new otherwise she won’t be seen with me,” David murmured, embarrassed.

Jasper laughed kindly. “Well I’m sure you two will look great together no matter what.”

David was about to reply, when something hit him and he suddenly furiously did not want Jasper to think the wrong thing even though they’d probably never see each other again but he had to let it be known- “Oh, no we’re not d-dating,” he corrected hastily, making the other man’s eyebrow quirk slightly, that calm smile still on his face. “But we are going together to a friend’s wedding this weekend, since we’re both single.”

Jasper suddenly blinked, losing his amused look. “This weekend? Long shot, humor me here, but it’s not Deena and Sai, is it?”

David’s mouth dropped open just a tiny bit. “Yes, it is. You know them?”

“Yeah dude, I’m goin too!” Jasper said with a grin, holding his arms out a little. “Sai is one of my buds from high school.”

“Gwen and I have worked with Deena for the last two years,” David said in surprise.

“Small world,” Jasper replied, looking amused and a little… delighted? It was an unexpected break from his so-far casual demeanor that threw David a little bit for a loop. “Well then, I’ll let you get back to it. Hope I see you there, Davey,” he said with another wink, making David’s heart to that stupid flip-flop thing again.

Who gave this perfect stranger authority to send him so completely off kilter?

“Y-yes, see you then,” he said, trying to sound like he hadn’t just been run over.

Jasper’s grin stretched a little wider before he headed down the row of dressing rooms, disappearing into one of the doors.

David let out a shaky breath, trying to compose himself just as Gwen appeared at his side again and made him jump. “Are you still standing here? You been talking to your new boyfriend that long? I don’t blame you, he’s hot.”

“Shhhh!” David shushed her frantically, waving a hand in the direction Jasper had gone as his heart raced double overtime now between the interaction and Gwen’s sudden reappearance. “He’s just down that way,” he whispered, still red, still flustered.

“So what? God, what a dork. Are you gonna get that or what?”

“I’m- I was- you-”

“Come on David I don’t want to be here all day, I want to get lunch,” Gwen insisted, crossing her arms impatiently.

David sighed in frustration, retreating back into the changing room to get back into his normal clothes and most definitely not pouting. “You didn’t even tell me if it looks good,” he mumbled petulantly, just loud enough for her to catch.

“You didn’t need my opinion, you seemed to hold his high enough,” Gwen teased calmly from outside the door, making David go red again. Was he that obvious??

“Gwen, please keep your voice down,” he whined, imagining Jasper several doors down probably hearing at least Gwen’s half of the conversation and maybe his whispering and probably deciding that David was in fact a giant mess and now debating whether or not he actually hoped to see them at the wedding-

“Why? What’s the big deal?”

“Because,” David said pertinently as he gathered up the clothes and opened the door, stepping out. “He is going to the same wedding this weekend,” he hissed, his lips pursing in what liked to think was a stern glare but in all actuality looking like a peeved child.

“What! No way!” Gwen exclaimed as the redhead quickly shuffled her out of the fitting rooms.

“Yes, and I’d rather not be a complete mess if we see him and he overheard,” David grumbled softly.

“Why not? He seemed kinda sweet on you and you were a total mess already, like, near disaster levels and he was still cool,” she mused. “You can talk to him again, maybe get his number!”

“I- nonono, I don’t think he- he wasn’t-” David stammered.

“He totally was,” Gwen shot back. “He low-key complimented your eyes and winked at you, he is not straight.”

David took a shaky breath as something hit him. “Twice,” he said softly in realization.

“What?”

“He… winked at me again after you left,” he said, embarrassed. “When he said that he… hoped he’d see us there. And he called me Davey.”

Gwen looked incredulous and maybe on the verge of hitting him or strangling him or both if the mood struck her right. “And you still think he’s not interested?? He thinks you’re cute you idiot!! If you don’t find him at that damn wedding and get his number I will end you! Did you at least get his name?” she asked, her tone clearly pleading work with me here.

“Jasper,” David said, hunching his shoulders a little.

“Well at least you got a foot in the door,” Gwen scoffed, her murder plans paused as she gave him a not-so-gentle but still friendly nudge where he’d slowed a little. “Pay for your shit and let’s go eat, then you can sigh and daydream about his smile and whatever all you want.”

“Gwen,” David whined miserably.

- - - -

Nerves ate him up all week as David found himself simultaneously dreading and anticipating seeing Jasper at the wedding. He had a hard time imagining someone so handsome and easygoing would so easily take a shine to his awkward self when he’d been such a disaster, but Gwen was adamant. That didn’t stop him from dreading making a fool of himself again as he stood there sipping from his water at the reception on Saturday. But also meticulously scanning the crowd looking for Jasper...

So what if he’d mentioned David’s eyes. And complimented his outfit. And looked kind of excited to find out they were going to the same wedding. That didn’t mean anything. Gwen insisted he’d been flirting but no one ever flirted with David how was he supposed to know. There was no way Jasper had been flirting with him. Right?

“You got the threads!”

David whirled around in surprise, his heart racing upon seeing Jasper approaching, looking unlawfully handsome in black slacks and a purple dress shirt. He’d rolled up the sleeves and there was the ends of a black tie with little rainbow polka dots hanging from his pants pocket and now it was going to be ten times harder talking to him. He was toeing the line between causal and formal and it just looked so good on him that it wasn’t fair. “J-Jasper,” he greeted, smiling and trying to control the butterflies in his stomach.

“Hey Davey, you look great, just like I said,” Jasper grinned. “Even better without price tags hanging off ya,” he added playfully.

David just barely stifled his surprised laugh. “Thanks, you- you do too. Purple really suits you,” he said shyly.

Jasper didn’t seem the type for formal clothing, judging by the jeans and well-worn t-shirt he’d been in the other day, but he sure pulled this off nicely. It didn’t even seem out of place that he still wore the few colorful woven bracelets David had spotted in the dressing room. It fit him.

“Thanks dude, I can clean up alright sometimes,” Jasper teased, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Where’s your friend? Gwen, right?”

“Yes, she’s talking with Deena and some of the other ladies.”

“She abandoned you? Weak,” Jasper tsked softly. “I’ll hang with you, if that’s cool?”

“O-of course,” David replied, receiving a grin in response that suddenly rendered him a little bit weak.

They talked for a little while about standard casual things, work, hobbies, interests, the stupid stuff Jasper had done with Sai in high school, and David found himself slowly relaxing as time went on. It was getting easier to talk to Jasper, he was so casual and laid back it was like a vortex of calm that was drawing him in, telling him to stop being such an anxious mess. He would love for that to happen, it would be a lot easier of finding someway to see Jasper again in the future if he weren’t a total anxious mess.

But no matter how nervous he was, he couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesy quips and jokes Jasper made, and the other man seemed a tiny bit delighted at every little laugh and giggle he got in response.

Without realizing it, they’d gotten lost in their own little corner of the reception talking for nearly an hour. When the band started playing again after a break and people headed for the dance floor, Jasper’s eyes fixed in that direction. They’d both gone silent when the music started, Jasper’s keen gaze remaining on the crowd for a few moments before suddenly clicking his tongue as if a decision had been made. “Soooo,” he drawled slowly, casual, glancing over at David. “Yoooouu... wanna dance?” he asked hopefully.

David met his eyes in surprise, a blush burning his cheeks as his mind fought to catch up. “I- y-yes, I’d… love to,” he said softly.

Jasper’s face lit up. “Sweet,” he said happily, holding a hand out.

David took in a quiet, shaky breath before placing his hand in Jasper’s and letting the other man lead him over to the dance floor.

“I’m not like… a super great dancer? So do you wanna lead or should I?” Jasper asked, surprising David because he hadn’t even thought about who would lead.

“Oh, um, either way is fine?”

“Well you’re taller, so I think you should,” Jasper said matter-of-factly, turning to David as they found a spot and bringing the redhead’s hand to his waist without missing a beat. He arranged their hands together on the opposite side before resting his free one on David’s shoulder, giving him a disarming grin.

David flushed at the feel of Jasper’s waist under his palm, swallowing. “Well I don’t think that- has anything to do with it- but- okay,” he stammered, moving to start the dance and placing his feet carefully.

“It’s a way to decide and get us dancing sometime today,” Jasper shot back playfully.

“Fair enough,” David laughed softly, watching their feet for a few moments as they continued to move, slowly getting used to the contact. “You’re not that bad!”

“Gimme time, I’ll fuck it up, don’t worry. And that’s not a threat just a promise,” Jasper replied casually, making David laugh again. “That’ll be the true test, how many times can I step on your feet before you get sick of me,” he teased.

“Well, I have to say your charm far makes up for whatever you may lack in dancing,” David replied.

“You think I’m charming?” Jasper asked, his eyes alight.

“It’s hard not to,” David said, smiling at the adorable and sincere delight on his dance partner’s face.

“I’ve been told goofball, dork, manchild, square, way back when anyone but me still said that, but never has my me-ness been described as charming. It’s pretty cool,” Jasper decided. “You’re pretty cool,” he added, grinning.

“Oh, I am not,” David chastised softly.

“Nah dude, seriously, otherwise I wouldn’t be taggin’ after you like a lost puppy,” he laughed, going a little pink actually. “I’m stoked and amazed I haven’t driven you nuts yet.”

“I don’t mind at all,” David replied, smiling at Jasper’s surprised look. “I um, I really like talking with you,” he added.

“Most excellent,” Jasper said, his grin coming back full force and his cheeks going a little darker. It made David feel better to finally not be the only one who was flustered, even if it was only a little on Jasper’s part.

They continued to talk and dance into the next song, and while they kept a respectful inch between them, it was never tense or uncomfortable. Despite Jasper’s earlier insistence that he wasn’t a good dancer, they flowed well together. No one’s feet ever got stepped on and things got even better when the band switched to something a little more upbeat.

People around them started dancing to match the new mood, and Jasper so smoothly pulled David into a new style of dance he took a few moments to adjust. It was… he didn’t know what it was. He thought maybe Jasper was making it up on the spot but then again it kind of seemed like that’s what most people were doing.

“C’mon Davey, loosen up, this is the part where we just wing it and no one gives a shit if we look like dorks,” Jasper teased, lifting David’s hand up and spinning under it so easily and casually that it pulled a delighted laugh from the redhead before he could stifle it.

“There ya go!” Jasper egged happily, the grin nearly splitting his face, his eyes bright and shining under the lights strung above the dance floor.

David’s face was flushed with delight, his own smile rivaling Jasper’s as they fell into a comfortable rhythm together.

They danced, happily oblivious and lost only in each other for some time. Without even realizing when it had happened, David had grown much more comfortable with Jasper. He was still a bit of a mess and the butterflies would not let up the whole time, but it became much easier to talk and joke with the other man.

He wondered where Gwen went, catching glimpses of her through the crowd sometimes but otherwise it was just them. Eventually they decided to break for some water, leaving the dance floor and heading over to the refreshment table to catch their breath. David felt like he was in a dream the whole time, as Jasper seemed perfectly content to stay with him as they leaned against a low stone wall near the venue’s fountain, talking quietly.

He wasn’t sure when it had gotten dark, but a bit of a chill was definitely setting into the evening air, and it made him very aware of Jasper’s close proximity next to him. He could feel the man’s body heat where their arms were nearly touching, creeping in through the fabric of his dress shirt and making David feel warm, hazy.

During a few moments of comfortable silence, David felt his phone buzz in his pocket and took it out to see a text from Gwen.

Want to wrap up your shit? Go in like 30 min? Tired.

When had it gotten so late? Had it been so easy to just get lost for hours with Jasper?

Sure, he texted back, setting his water down so he could use both hands while Jasper glanced curiously at him. I’ll meet you in front at 10:30?

Better, she responded, and he could hear her grumpy, mostly seriously threat even through text.

He smiled, looking up at Jasper. “That was Gwen, she’s almost ready to go and I’m designated driver. So I’ll be leaving at 10:30,” he explained, half because he felt rude for texting next to Jasper, even though there had been a lull in the conversation, and half in apology to cut short their evening.

“That’s cool,” Jasper replied evenly, not quite hiding a touch of disappointment in his voice. He was graceful about it though. “I’m a night owl but I’m feeling ready to bail too. I’ll hang with you until then?” he asked hopefully.

As if David could possibly turn down even a few more minutes with him. “Of course,” he replied, smiling.

He’d completely forgotten about asking for a phone number and now would’ve been the perfect time, but he just found himself soaking up that last little bit of time together. They talked quietly, worn out from dancing and just the overall noise and energy of the reception. Talking about nothing in particular just to talk, and as much as David loved Jasper’s constant jokes and his fun energy, the low, soft tones of his voice now in the calmer atmosphere was soothing, warm.

A few minutes before he was supposed to meet Gwen, they stood up and started heading for the front, passing through the dwindling reception and into the building where the ceremony had taken place, and finally outside again facing the parking lot. They stopped a short distance away from the doors to be out of the way of people leaving, but still visible to Gwen whenever she arrived.

“Soooo,” Jasper drawled playfully, much like he’d done earlier, scuffing his shoe on the pavement with hands shoved in his pockets, the tie still hanging off to one side.

Even though he’d glanced down when they were dancing, David only just now realized that Jasper was wearing all black sneakers, not dress shoes, and it just… fit him. He made it seem like a perfectly normal thing and not at all out of place for the formal event, and David found it very endearing now that he’d noticed. Dress shirt and pants, sneakers and worn out bracelets, and those piercings… It was all so charming. So Jasper. He came out of his little reverie when the other man continued.

“If you think I’m cool enough, you wanna like… hang out sometime?” Jasper asked, looking up with a hopeful grin.

David smiled back, his heart racing excitedly although a little toned down both from being tired and less nervous around the other man. “Yes, that sounds wonderful.”

“Awesome,” Jasper replied, digging his phone out. “Let me just get set up… okay, number?” he asked, typing the digits as David spoke and saving it into his contacts. He kept typing, clicking his tongue as the glow of his phone lit his face in soft blue. “Wig, here’s me,” he added, just before David’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “So you have mine. Well! Where’s your friend at?”

“I’m… not sure,” David frowned, looking around. He’d seen her from a distance but hadn’t talked to her in some time, and he wasn’t sure if that was intentional on Gwen’s part or not. “She’s only a couple minutes late...” he mused, checking his watch with only a little furrow to his brow.

“I’ll wait with you? Or I can help you look for her if you’re worried,” Jasper offered, sounding a little concerned himself.

“Oh- there she is- Gwen!” David called, waving and catching her attention.

“There you are you bitch,” Gwen greeted as she walked up. “Are you two still just flirting or did you get digits yet?” she demanded, poking David in the chest. She wasn’t slurring but she was definitely drunk, he decided.

“I- we- Gwen-”

“Listen,” she said, turning to Jasper and giving him a deadpan look. “He really likes you, but he’s a fuckin’ mess and I saw you two dancing like forever, so please put me outta my misery and say you two are gonna date or somethin, yeah?”

Jasper stood silently through her tirade, gaze flickering to David, who had a hand over his eyes in mortification. He looked back to Gwen, taking everything in surprisingly easy stride. “Well, hopefully,” he said with a grin, seeing David’s hand drop as the ginger stared at him, wide eyed and blushing. “We did phone numbers and I was planning on asking him out, sooo...” he trailed off, eyes flickering briefly to David with a warm smile.

“Well good!” Gwen insisted, poking Jasper now to emphasize her point. “Cause he’s a weenie and you gotta ask him, otherwise he’ll just be a sad little shit and tell me you don’t like him and whine about how hot you are and how nice your stupid smile is I’ve heard all about it-”

“Okay, Gwen, sweetheart, I think that’s enough please, thank you so much,” David interrupted softly, a little frantic, setting his hands on her shoulders. “How much did you have to drink?” he asked with a frown.

“Daviiid, it’s a fuckin’ wedding, you’re supposed to get plastered,” she complained.

“All the same, I think it’s time we get you home, alright?” he asked, steadying her as she wobbled a little in her heels, the first physical sign that she was feeling the alcohol. Definitely a good time to take her home, both to rest and before she made an unfortunate step in those heels.

“Whatever mom,” she shot back.

“Want a hand?” Jasper asked sympathetically.

“Please,” David replied softly, ducking under one of Gwen’s arms just as she waved her hand dismissively before their new friend could help.

“I can walk David for fuck sake, just gimme a second to get out of these heels from hell-” she grumbled, bending one leg at the knee and hanging onto David as she slipped the shoe off, before repeating with the other and pushing away from him. “Jesus christ, mother hen,” she huffed, holding the shoes by the straps and walking towards the car as the men trailed after her like ducklings.

David trotted ahead a little to unlock and open the passenger door, dutifully allowing Gwen to clamp onto his shoulder as she got into the car, making sure her dress and hands were safely inside before shutting the door. He sighed, straightening up and turning back to Jasper. “Well, thank you, for… everything today,” he said shyly.

“Course, thanks for hangin’ with me,” Jasper replied, holding his hand out.

David blinked, hesitating only briefly before relenting and placing his hand in Jasper’s once more. The other man brought it up and kissed his knuckles, making David flush. If he wasn’t already smitten, the hopeless romantic in him would’ve taken a nose dive off a cliff over that small, but tender gesture. Hell, he had anyway. It was still sinking in that Jasper liked him, wanted to ask him on a date, and he’d momentarily pushed that out of his head while making sure Gwen got to the car okay-

“I had a great time with you,” Jasper said softly, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze and pulling him out of his spiral. “And I really meant it, that I’d like to take you on a date sometime, if that’s cool?” he asked, giving a hopeful look.

David took a shaky breath, smiling. “I’d like that.”

“Rad,” Jasper said, a wide grin lighting up his face.

The torrent of butterflies in his stomach was so strong, and he was so high on cloud nine and a little bit of panic from everything, that before he could overthink it David found himself leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Jasper’s cheek.

Now it was Jasper’s turn to look gobsmacked, as he flushed bright from the action. “Oh, wow, double rad,” he whispered.

David giggled softly, gesturing over his shoulder to the car. “I’d- I’d better get her home.”

“Yeah, yeah, course, take care of Gwen,” Jasper said, releasing David’s hand finally and ruffling his hair nervously, looking a little shell shocked. “Drive safe, yeah?” he grinned, still pink in the cheeks.

“I will, you do the same,” David replied, his smile growing. “Bye Jasp, talk to you soon?”

“Absolute,” Jasper replied, shoving one hand in his pocket and giving a mock salute with the other. “Bye Davey,” he said happily, walking backwards a few paces before whirling around midstep to practically float off to his own car.

David took a deep, steadying breath and let it out slow, unable to keep the silly look off his face as he watched Jasper disappear among the departing guests, his heart still pounding in joy and disbelief...

“Hey!” Gwen barked from inside the car, startling him both with her shout and the loud slap of her palm hitting the window. “Let’s go pinetree, sometime tonight!”

David took one more breath and turned to walk around to the driver’s side, pointedly ignoring Gwen’s rude gesture.

Despite her tendency to get ornery when drunk, Gwen still offered him a playful congratulations on ‘bagging his man’ once they were on the road and heading home. She teased him the whole way about the way they’d been connected at the hip since finding each other, and it confirmed his suspicions that she’d ditched him to give him time alone with Jasper. Why he’d seen her only in passing all night as she seemed to avoid him.

Which was why he was very sincerely thankful this one time to be abandoned by a friend at a social gathering. This thought found him smiling fondly the whole way walking Gwen to her apartment, keeping an arm around her as she fumbled keys out of her purse and unlocked the door. Despite more protests, she allowed herself to be escorted inside and to her bedroom.

David carefully unraveled her hair of it’s pins and twists, got her a glass of water while she changed, and made sure drank at least half of it before bidding her goodnight and leaving, making certain the lights were off and the door was locked on his way out.

Once he was finally home and able to start getting himself ready for bed, his ears rang in the blessed silence after listening to the sounds of the wedding all day. He’d changed and brushed his teeth by the time his phone buzzed, and David was ridiculously elated to see Jasper was already texting him.

J: Hey, sorry for the late text, just wanted to make sure you got home okay and Gwen is good.

D: We’re both fine, thank you. I got her situated and I’m at home now.

J: Cool, good to hear.

D: Thanks again for today, I had a really great time.

J: Yeah totes, me too! I’m really glad the wedding came up cause I thought you were real cute but there’s no smooth way to ask for someone’s number in a changing room without looking like a creep, ya dig?

David giggled softly, flushing.

D: I don’t think I would have minded but I’m glad it worked out how it did. Besides Gwen getting in your face at the end there.

J: No big, she’s cool, outspoken. I like her. Anyway, it’s really late so I’ll leave you alone. Talk to you later?

D: Sounds good. Thanks again, and goodnight.

J: Night!

David let out a happy sigh as he set his phone down, almost unable to believe how lucky he was. He didn’t know what Jasper saw in him, but he wouldn’t argue. He really hadn’t even expected to have that great of a time at the wedding, let alone meet anyone. He’d expected to stay close to Gwen, talk to Deena and Sai and maybe some other people from work the couple had invited. He certainly hadn’t expected to dance with anyone but Gwen.

Then along comes Jasper, looking happy to see him, chatting with him, asking him to dance. He’d never expected someone so fun and handsome to be interested in his dorky self, but Jasper really seemed to like him. He stared at the ceiling of his bedroom in the dark that night, still smiling like an idiot as that sweet but casual kiss to his hand replayed on loop in David’s head, all the while wondering how soon he might see Jasper again.

[carebearbliss]

Seventeen’s ideal type

A/N: This is just my personal estimation of what kind of person I think would be complementary to them. I tried to neutralize it by explicitly not referring to a him or her, which is why I used them/they instead. Hope y’all have a nice day! :]

S.Coups 

Someone that knows how to take care of themselves well, whether it be something practical like cooking or taking a day off to focus on your mental wellbeing

I think someone who is comfortable in their own skin and confident would compliment Seungcheol well

Has to be supportive of his ambitions! With his busy schedule he’d really appreciate someone who understands what he’s doing it for and it’d mean the world if his future S/O could stand by that fully

Would love someone who can match his energy and return his enthusiasm, someone to bounce off of so to speak

Doesn’t necessarily have to be an extrovert, though he would definitely appreciate someone who’s willing to initiate things in the relationship, like dates, conversations, calls etc.

Someone who’s warm and affectionate, he’d want to feel loved and appreciated (hugs and compliments!!!)

Let’s him take care of them once in a while and doesn’t mind how protective he can be at times

A person who knows how to enjoy their life and live in the now would be perfect for him! Seungcheol has said before he likes someone who can eat well ;]

Jeonghan

Someone who hypes him up (lowkey shamelessly)

Especially by promoting Seventeen’s music to everyone they know

A person who’s unapologetically themselves (kinda like Jeonghan when he’s caught cheating for the 99th time) and owns it like a boss

He’d prefer his future S/O to be someone who’s more on the feminine side, maybe also someone who is naturally cute

Someone who is sensible and attentive toward their environment, a person who knows how to adapt to different situations depending on what is suitable/needed -- kind of a go with the flow type of person

A person who’s able to think for themselves, someone who’s not afraid of going against the mainstream opinion / someone who’s not swayed by others opinions easily

I’d definitely see Jeonghan with someone who’s more on the chill side, someone he can hang out with at home and order take-out with

Someone who can give him space when he needs it (instead of someone with a controlling character)

I think Jeonghan would also like someone who knows how to dress well, like someone who knows what suits them best and is interested in fashion

Joshua

Somebody who is as well-mannered and polite as him!!!

Has to have a kind heart, so not just someone who shows kindness but really someone who’s just kind through and through (y’know what I mean??)

Joshua would love someone who is quite open-minded and accepting

Someone who respects others opinions and treats people like equals

Would really want to be able to understand and connect well with the other person (and the other way around!),

Someone who’s non-judgmental and a good listener

A person he can have all kinds of conversations with (even about kind of weird/random topics)

Would definitely appreciate someone with a quirky side/personality to them, he’d find it intriguing (and honestly, Joshua can be a bit quirky at times too hehe)

I think he’d also like someone who’s down-to-earth and humble, like someone who’s just drama-free

Someone trustworthy and reliable, someone who is mature and knows better than to talk behind people’s backs or share secrets that weren’t theirs to share

Jun

If you can return his flirtatious remarks with playful banter I guarantee you this guy is gonna fall head over heels for you 

A person who matches him in terms of playfulness

Jun would like someone who can keep him on his toes and surprise him

Someone who is more on the spontaneous side / someone who has a multifaceted personality

He’d appreciate someone he could be weird and childish with together, like a person that he can do all kinds of fun stuff with

Would definitely be attracted to someone who can be both cute as well as sexy, someone who knows how to dress well would also catch his attention

A person he can dote on (and a person that dotes on him in return)!!!

I think Jun has a highkey weak spot for someone who is kinda 4D, a person that is more than what they appear to be (i.e. someone who is actually really quirky and humorous despite looking very innocent and quiet, y’know what I mean??)

Someone who is a bit on the mature side, who knows when to be serious and is also capable of taking care of others around her when needed

Hoshi

I think Hoshi would also find it important to be with someone who can match his enthusiasm, this doesn’t mean that you gotta be as hyped or enthusiastic as he can be sometimes, but more so that he’d need to feel actively stimulated (in short, someone who meets him halfway)

Bonus points if you’re naturally optimistic and bubbly!

Would really appreciate someone who is easygoing and fun to be around, someone who really enjoys what they are doing

Someone he can be comfortable around, even if neither of you say anything

A person who is openly supportive and affectionate toward him, and not afraid to initiate dates or surprise him every once in a while

I’d say Hoshi is also the type of guy who would feel attracted to someone that gets along well with his friends and family

Someone who’s a bit more on the cute side in terms of personality (and looks, for that matter)

A people’s person, someone that’s more extroverted than introverted / someone who’s comfortable and feels energized being around people, also someone who’s rather charming and eloquent/persuasive!

Wonwoo

Wonwoo’s ideal type would lowkey be the female lead of a historic kdrama ngl

Definitely someone who is elegant/graceful! A person that’s gentle and takes good care of her friends/family but also her possessions

Someone who comes off a bit more mature (no matter their age)

I think he’d suit a person who shares the same kinds of interests, someone he can talk with about what you thought of that book you both read and stuff like that

Wonwoo would definitely value someone who is intelligent, a (deep) thinker of some sorts with whom he can have meaningful conversations with

Someone who is quite self-sufficient and not dependent on others, a person who is reliable and trustworthy

Maybe also someone who gives off lowkey mom-friend vibes

A person that appreciates the little things and cherishes those little moments they can have with him

I don’t think he’d mind if the person were introverted, I actually think he’d appreciate someone who’s more on the quiet/reserved side

Now that I mentioned that, somebody who doesn’t mind comfortable silences!

A person he can be alone with together (like studying or reading together)

Woozi

Someone who balances him out, in other words: someone who accepts his calmness and seriousness

A person who’s more talkative and social than he is would match him well, someone that’s kind and friendly

Someone who understands him (his behavior, decisions, etc.) well!

Mutual respect toward each other’s careers and ambitions!!! Someone he can look up to and admire for who they are and what they do

Someone he can learn from during the relationship

Definitely someone that makes people feel at ease, someone who gives off warm/welcoming vibes

A person that makes him want to talk more

Someone that’s non-judgmental, but rather open-minded

I think trust would be very important to him, to be able to trust his future S/O, but also to have someone fully trust him as well

Someone who’s not afraid of confrontation (doesn’t mean that they’re overly assertive or aggressive!), a good communicator and listener!

Perhaps also someone who gets him out of his comfort zone from time to time

Someone thoughtful and considerate toward the people around them!

DK

Someone kind and friendly, someone without any facades whatsoever (lowkey ‘what you see is what you get’)

Definitely someone who is very energetic as well, or a person who gets excited very easily

Dokyeom would probably value someone who is (almost) always in high spirits

I think he’d definitely like someone who is really good at what they’re doing, whether it be singing, drawing or teaching, he’d definitely admire your talents a lot

Lowkey cannot resist someone with an infectious laugh and/or eyesmile

Speaking of which, someone who laughs a lot!!! Somebody who easily breaks into smiles & laughter would be perfect for DK ngl

A person who is not afraid to be goofy and crack up jokes (even if 5/10 doesn’t land well)

Would very much like it if their future S/O is somewhat of a moodmaker, someone who livens up the mood with their lightheartedness or humor

Someone truthful, just a person who doesn’t lie and would rather speak the truth

Mingyu

Someone who, regardless of their age, gives off noona vibes in how dependable and caring they are towards their friends/family

A person that’s rather confident would match him well, just someone that knows what they are worth and what they deserve (would definitely be a turn on ngl) 

Definitely a person that’s chill, no drama whatsoever, just someone who easily adapts to different environments and gets along well with various kinds of people

Mingyu would definitely appreciate someone who makes the effort to get to know him better, past all the superficialties and small talk

Someone he can let down his guard with, someone he can come to when he’s in need of an energizer or a shoulder to lean on

Lowkey would melt for someone who’s a good hugger and/or a really good friend to their friends

I think he’d be interested in someone who knows what they’re talking about, someone who’s got a bit of life experience / wisdom

A person that sends him little reminders from time to time, like that he shouldn’t forget to take some time for himself, or to eat well and stuff

The8

I think Minghao would really be impressed by someone who has an eye for fashion, someone who really understands fashion trends and the like

Someone that respects his needs and decisions, someone who sees him as their equal

Especially someone that fully stands beside whatever decisions he makes, a person that’s always there for him in the end

Somebody that’s sincere! Just a person that’s kind-natured (i.e. not someone who would gossip behind people’s backs)

A person that is always ready to help people out, like a person that regularly does volunteer work or donates to good causes often

Someone honest, that goes for all the members of course but I think Minghao in particular would really hate it when people lie

A person that owns up to their shit and takes responsibility when they make mistakes 

The8 would definitely suit someone who is naturally cute, aegyo just comes naturally to them

Overall, someone that has their back and is kind toward (almost) everyone would be his ideal type

Seungkwan

Someone that appreciates his humor and who he is as a person, especially how lively he is

I think Seungkwan is a person that needs a lot of nurturing and appreciation in his love life, with that I mean: someone who is affectionate and someone who compliments them a lot!

Basically, someone who hypes him up would be perfect for him ngl

Someone that’s proud to have him as their boyfriend!!!

A person that’s nice company, just someone he knows he can count on for whatever it is he needs to talk about in particular 

Definitely someone who’s like a best friend to him!

Someone compassionate and empathetic, someone that understands his sensitivity and what is meaningful to him (and respects that)

Seungkwan would probably feel attracted toward someone that tends to take care of others around them

Also, someone who’d get along well with the people in his life, especially his family!

Vernon

Someone that gives off lowkey homegirl vibes, someone who’s laidback and goes with the flow

Someone he can frequently hang out with, whether that’s playing video games or just chilling at home and watching movies

A person with good taste, he’d really like someone who has a nice music taste for that matter

Wouldn’t mind someone who is a bit different / who fully embraces their quirkiness!

I think Vernon would also like someone that’s genuinely interested in him, in his opinions and views for instance

Someone forgiving and understanding of others, not someone who tends to keep things inside all the time

A person that lives in the now, really someone that doesn’t worry much about past, present nor future, but rather lives in the now

Someone he can share his random thoughts with and who reciprocates the randomness in turn

Definitely someone that just rocks their differences, someone who’s unapologetically themselves

Dino

Someone confident, who knows what they are doing would most probably attract Dino

A person who tends to be cute, someone who has a lot of aegyo and isn’t afraid to show it every once in a while

Someone who’s more on the talkative and bubbly side perhaps

Someone that lets him take care of them once in a while

Chan would suit a person that shares a similar mindset, like someone who values the same things in (approaching) life

Someone that’s good at their job! 

I think Chan would find someone who’s serious and hardworking about their career particularly attractive

A person that’s ambitious/passionate and goes after what they want in life

Someone who knows how to look out for themselves

Mutual respect and appreciation for the other and what they do!

A person he can learn from in the relationship and be inspired by

[judediangelo75]

Kiss the Girl, Winger

Inspiration strikes yet again, thanks to Disney! Lol, if you don’t know “Kiss the Girl”, allow me to help.

-Disney movie version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrRbB-qUJfY

-Ashley Tisdale version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68-xSRHgxy0

I’m literally winging this so bear with me.

MC friend: David Willows ( @that-scouse-wizard ) (David is basically Judith’s best friend at this point, expect to see him OFTEN lol)

-----------------------

Talbott has no bloody idea how he got dragged into this situation.

But yet here he was.

Sitting with David and Diego on the Training Grounds. He was originally hanging out with David, training.

Judith and David had taken upon themselves to train their partners, especially since they were the main ones going into a dangerous profession. 

Diego came to do some training himself and now they were taking a “break”.

By “break”, Talbott means talking about relationships and such. Talbott did his best not to look too uncomfortable, but it wasn’t working. 

“I take that your relationships are going well,” Diego asked with an easygoing smile. Diego was too much of a “go with the flow” type of guy. Talbott can’t see him settling down with any one any time soon.

“Of course! I’m with the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, what more can a lad ask for,” David chuckled. Diego turned his gaze to Talbott, waiting for a response.

Talbott gave a simple nod.

“You sure there’s no lass that’s caught your eye, Caplan,” David asked. Diego let out a boasting laugh.

“Afraid not, friend. Diego Caplan isn’t so easy to be tied down. It’s fun to flirt and kiss any beautiful witch I want with no strings attached. Sample every flavor there is,” Diego smirked. David rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say, Diego. Being intimate with single person is pretty damn special in my opinion. There’s something indescribable whenever I kiss Mer. Doesn’t help she tastes sweet too. C’mon Talbott back me up here,” David argued. 

Talbott felt his face flush out of embarrassment and looked away. David and Diego glanced at each other before looking toward the silent Ravenclaw.

“Tal, you good there mate,” David asked. Diego tried to lighten the mood.

“Surely Judith isn’t a bad kisser, is she?” David sent a small glare at the Hufflepuff duelist.

Talbott mumbled something under his breath.

“Come again, friend,” Diego said. Talbott fidgeted before sighing.

“I never kissed Judith before.”

Silence.

“How?!” David and Diego exclaimed. 

“You two have been together for quite awhile now. Longer than David and Merula. How haven’t you kissed her,” Diego asked.

“Exactly! Judith has to be one of the most affectionate witches I know. And she’s head over heels in love you. How,” David stressed. The stoic Ravenclaw crossed his arms over his chest, face flushed red.

“I just never kissed her before...” Talbott wasn’t going to admit that he was too shy to do so.

David wasn’t wrong, Judith was indeed affectionate. It felt strange to be showered with attention and affection, but Talbott wasn’t complaining. He found it sweet.

And Judith did try to kiss him once. 

He ended up jerking away out of reflex and confusion. He could still remember the slight hurt reflecting in her gold eyes before she offered a shy smile and an apology.

She never tried again afterwards. And he cursed himself for it.

Because it wasn’t like he didn’t want to kiss her. Gods know how bloody curious he was to know what’s it like.

How her full lips will feel against his.

What flavor chapstick she uses.

How it will feel melting against her as he allows himself indulge in the intimate act.

Will there be sparks?

Will it feel like his heart will race out of his chest?

Would he crave for more once they pull away?

So many thoughts invade his mind whenever he catches himself looking at his girlfriend’s lips.

Don’t get him started if she was wearing her signature deep red lipstick-

“TALBOTT!” Talbott was thrusted out of his thoughts and turned his attention back on the two Hufflepuff wizards sitting next to him.

“You guys said something,” he asked. David pinched the bridge of his nose and Diego shook his head.

“Kiss the girl, Winger,” they both demanded. Talbott blushed and glared.

“Before you say how we have no right orderin’ you around, while you are right, we can tell you want to. You were bitin’ your lip and scrunchin’ your brows as if you were imaging it. While all power to you, I much rather you not fantasize about my sister in my presence,” David said. 

“As if you don’t kiss Merula whenever Judith and I are around,” Talbott huffed.

“Don’t change the subject! You want that experience. Just go for it,” David argued.

“Besides it’s not like she doesn’t know how to kiss. Andre was her first-OW!” David smacked Diego hard. He noticed the uncertainty that flashed in the Ravenclaw’s red eyes.

David knew Talbott was a bit insecure about himself, even though Judith had the biggest crush on him ever since they first met. He was there when Judith admitted that she fancied him when they were learning the Memory Charm with Professor Flitwick. 

Judith may thought Andre was handsome, but she would never see him more than a friend.

Talbott had trouble believing that at the beginning. 

Any mention of Andre and Judith in the same sentence would make him shut down.

And Diego was certainly not helping.

“Talbott, you know full damn well Judith only see Andre as a friend. Tonks was my first kiss and we’re just friends. If she really liked him, she would be with him. But she’s not. She’s with you, and literally sees no one else,” David said, staring the silent Ravenclaw dead in his eyes. 

Talbott let out a shaky breath.

“You’re right... I just don’t want to disappoint her...” Diego snorted, earning a glare from both boys.

“Talbott, my friend. Are we talking about the same Judith? She values everything you do. You don’t have to do much to make her smile. I highly doubt you can disappoint her,” Diego said, watching their glares lessen.

Talbott coughed, trying to ignore the warmth in his cheeks.

“You two make fair points,” he mumbled. David smirked.

“So kiss the girl, Winger...”

----------------------

“This is a lovely day for a date, Talbott,” Judith chuckled as they walked along the shore of the Black Lake. 

It was late in the afternoon, the sun was setting along the horizon. Talbott had taken them out to Hogsmeade, revisiting their first date spot. Madam Puddifoot had giggled seeing the pair again, serving them some cake and tea.

Lucky for him, conversation came easier this time around and there was no one there to crash their date. Talbott always enjoyed the sight of his little bird smiling sweetly at him.

Afterwards, they flew back to Hogwarts. Well, not before a few games of tag and chase along the way. 

Eventually they reached their current destination, waling along the shore while holding hands.

They sat in comfortable silence on the boardwalk on the Boathouse, overlooking the water. Talbott kept stealing glances at his serene girlfriend, whose eyes were closed.

Her hair was mostly down, the sides being pulled back to reveal her face. Her face was makeup free, revealing her natural beauty. 

Judith’s attire was rather simple. A short yellow dress with white flowers and white sandals. Her accessories were small gold hoop earrings and the key necklace he gifted her on Valentine’s Day.

‘Dear Gods, she’s so perfect that it hurts...’ he thought, drinking in the sight of the Hufflepuff witch being bathed in the sun’s loving warmth. A breeze gently pasted them, the sweet scent of coconuts and cocoa butter greeted the young’s wizard’s nose.

He felt dizzy with delight as he scoot closer to her. He knew he could have anything he could want from the Hufflepuff witch. His gaze fell to her full lips and he bit his lip.

“You’re staring...” Talbott flinched at the sudden sound of her voice. Gold eyes slowly opened, locking with his red ones.

“Something on your mind, my love,” Judith asked, delicately running her fingertips along the line of his sharp jawline. Talbott shivered at the barely there touch, leaning into it for a more solid sensation.

“Um...” Talbott felt the familiar sense of panic starting to creep into his mind. His heart began to race as he felt his palms turn a bit clammy. 

Can he really do this? 

Judith frowned at this, cupping his face in her hands so he can look at her.

“Hey, hey... it’s okay, Talbott. Talk to me,” she whispered. Her breath fanned over his lips, causing his heart to lurch in his chest. He can smell the faint sweetness of the cake she had earlier at the tea shop.

“I... I-I... I want to kiss you... Is that alright,” Talbott whispered breathlessly. He mentally slapped his forehead.

‘What the HELL was that, Winger?! Most wizards would’ve just went for it! Even those who do ask would’ve been much more smoother than that! Bloody hell, can the Giant Squid just grab me and pull me below. Ugh, this is so bloody-”

“Of course you can, Talbott.” Talbott was abrupted pulled out his self-berating thoughts at the simple sentence. Judith did her best not to giggle at the surprised and slightly lost expression on her boyfriend’s face.

“A-are you serious,” he asked, still feeling slightly panicked. Judith leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, which helped calm him a bit.

“Of course, bird boy. I was waiting for you to ask or make a move for awhile now,” she said.

“B-but I never kissed anyone before,” he blurted out. Judith’s eyebrows furrowed at this.

“I’m failing to see how that’s a problem...” Talbott sighed and looked away, feeling his face burn.

“I don’t want to disappoint you if I’m not good enough. I know this isn’t your first. Andre had that privilege,” he mumbled. Judith turned his head back so she can meet his gaze.

“Hey... just because this isn’t my first doesn’t mean this wouldn’t be special to me. And to be honest... I didn’t feel much from that kiss. You’re the only one I really imagined doing this with,” Judith whispered. Talbott slowly relaxed at her admission, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her closer.

“I love you, little bird,” he said softly, angling his head so he wouldn’t bump into her nose. Judith giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, mimicking his actions.

“I love you too, bird boy... kiss me, please...”

Talbott couldn’t ignore that soft request even if he tried.

He allowed himself to lean the rest of way.

He kept the contact light, testing the waters. Barely there brushes that teased him more than he expected.

These went on for a few fleeting moments until one of them decided they wanted more. Lips gently parted and locked, seeking a sweeter taste.

The taste of vanilla and cake registered in his mind, causing Talbott leaned in more for the delicious combination.

Talbott sighed through his nose.

If he knew kissing his girlfriend meant being sent to heaven, he would’ve let Judith kiss him that day.

Her lips were just as soft as they looked. Plush and warm against his own.

The taste of her vanilla chapstick had him craving for more.

He never felt more at peace, giving into his little bird and this enchanting kiss. 

He never wanted this to-

Her lips were gone.

A soft whine escaped the back of his throat as he blindly chased after her. A soft laugh snapped out of it as he opened his eyes to find the teasing glint in those gold eyes.

“That good huh,” Judith chuckled. Talbott grumbled, looking away. Judith outright laughed at her boyfriend’s disgruntled state.

“I’m just teasing... come here,” she giggled, pressing another kiss to his lips. Talbott perked up a bit, squeezing her closer.

He could get used to this...

[hehesarcasm-writing]

How about Bakugou trying to get you to date him in his own tsundere way?

This is so cute, thank you for the request! I don't think I portrayed the "tsundere" in him well, but I will try and get better!

➩Time to start➩

It wasn't right away, but Bakugou's crush on you was set fast! You both were in 1-a and seeing you're determined yet serious face pissed him off. 𝗔 𝗹𝗼𝘁.

You got in UA to become a hero, and you stood by that. You're face had always been a little serious though, there was no helping it. You had a calm demeanor. That relaxed your teammates and forced fear into your enemies.

After a few weeks of knowing you, and fighting against you, Bakugou fell. And hard. He saw how smart, collected, easygoing but serious, and relaxing you were.

You could shut up a whole room with one yell, and no one would argue. Had he try to do that, everyone would just yell back at him. To Bakugou, you were perfect for him. Same taste in clothes, and music, your face was calm while his was angry. You supported and balanced each other out, perfectly.

"You guys should go out, don't 'cha think?" Mina interrupted Bakugou's thoughts, with such an alarming question. It caught him so off guard, he had to turn his head to hide his blush.

"Yeah right, as if this werido could ever stand next to me?!" He retorted against Mina's words too fast. The whole squad had known about his feelings, but couldn't interfere as they weren't willing to die yet.

"But I am standing next to you Bakugou" your calm voice made his face burn and he hated it.

After a while, Bakugou actually started to try and make you date him. Kirishima was watching his newest try telling Kaminari, "He said he wasn't scared to ask her out, so I told him to try until she does..."

"And he hasn't stopped?" Kaminari got a sad shake of the head as a response.

Everytime Bakugou asked it went something like this:

"𝘎𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦, 𝘢𝘴𝘴-𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦"

"𝘕𝘰, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘫𝘦𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬."

"𝘍𝘐𝘕𝘌, 𝘐𝘛'𝘚 𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘐 𝘈𝘊𝘛𝘜𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘠𝘖𝘜!!"

Or

"𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘰, 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺!"

"𝘕𝘰, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦."

In actuality, you liked Bakugou back, but you had to tease him like this. You knew the challenge Kirishima gave him, and you had to see how long the angry blond would do it for.

Bakugou started asking over text

"Hey fuck-tard, go out with me. And I don't like you, the red headed loser just challenged me into it!"

"Awe, no. Don't lie to me like that either."

"Whatever, I don't even like your weird self"

Then he started to get to be nicer, asking almost politely at times. 𝘈𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵...

"Ugh, hey, would you go out with me?"

"The question was nice, but the tone wasn't"

The poor blond was getting desperate, wouldn't admit it though. His proposals got meaner and harsher, calling you names and even asked after he beat you in sparring.

Today was different though, he was quieter and even more tense than usual. The declines were getting to him, making him pissed.

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙚𝙨!?

As it got to the end of the day, Bakugou walked up to you with an annoyed and serious face.

"Woah, you shouldn't scrunch up your face like that. Doesn't it hurt-"

Bakugou mumbled against the two of your lips, as he pressed them together "Shut up, already"

Releasing you from his grip, he saw your flushed cheeks. You new he was being serious this time, but you couldn't help but think about his soft lips against yours. You kept quiet though, as to let him speak.

With the same, maybe even redder cheeks, Bakugou finally spoke after scanning your face.

"I'm tired of you saying no to me, I'm saying this one last time and that's it! You got that?"

You nodded to agree, with the same serious face on the outside but your heart exploding inside.

"Would you go out with me already!?"

"That wasn't very- Yes, yes I will go out with you"

You almost mentioned on how rude he asked out of habit. You caught yourself though, and for the first time, Bakugou had seen the biggest smile on your face.

"GOOD! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"

"I'M USED TO IT, GET OVER IT!"

Your new angry blond boyfriend pulled you close and smashed your lips together. They fit perfectly together, almost like they were meant to.

Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and the rest of the Bakusquad were yelling at you guys-

"FINALLY!!"

"STOP EATING EACH OTHER ALREADY"

" I knew Bakugou liked her but dang do I wish I was him..."

"WE GET IT, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 5 MINUTES"

It was hard for Bakugou to keep getting declined, especially since you were his first. And so was him to you. In the end, everything worked out and the two of you were happy.

At first glance, one wouldn't be able to tell they were dating. However, there was always this slight pink just barely claiming their cheeks when around each other.

➩End➩

Thank you for reading and sending in this request!

I don't think I did very well presenting the tsundere, but it's in there I hope. Anyone may send in requests if they want to! I tried my best writing this, I and I hope you enjoyed!

[chiaki-translation]

Luminous Circus: Event Translation Ch9-10

I deliver~ Made it in time before the JP announcement too, I figured I need to do this before I got distracted by Glitter Kazu (because I totally will). The Epilogue will be out in an hour or so too because I need to stare at some of the Kanji that I had a hard time with...

But last 2 chapters of course will be another freakishly long play~ Well, this one actually not as long as Stray Devil Blues and Magician so I’m quite fine with it. Translation under the cut, without further ado, enjoy~

Ch3-4 / / Ch5-6 / / Ch7-8 / / Ch9-10 / / Epilogue

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber Entertainment

Translator’s Note: I don’t think they mentioned the role before the play, but Homare is playing George the Troupe Leader, Kazunari is playing Tim the Clown, Muku is playing Nick the Animal Tamer, Sakuya is playing Will the Trapeze Artist.

Takao:

My lady—You have received an invitation letter.

Homare’s Grandmother:

An invitation?

“Amore~ Continue your memory to make it eternal…”

…Such an awkward child.

Same as that person though.

We’re going out tonight.

Please prepare to take out the car.

Takao:

Understood.

<Shifts to Backstage>

Homare:

--Ah, the unforeseen heat shook the air.

It’s now or never, it’s time to light the core of this theatre--!

Director:

!? What happened, Homare-san!?

Homare:

What is it?

I’m just reciting my poem as per usual.

Director:

No matter how I look at it, that’s not the usual thing.

Sakuya:

It’s my first time that I actually understand the meaning of Homare’s poem!

Muku:

Me too!

It clearly conveys the atmosphere of the stage right before the performance and it’s wonderful!

Kazunari:

Ooh! Is it Aririn’s new style!?

Homare:

Hmm, it seems that the costume’s button is misplaced.

Director:

… Homare-san, are you maybe feeling nervous?

Homare:

I don’t know such thing like nervousness. My heart just beat slightly faster and it’s affecting my behaviour, that’s all.

Director:

Isn’t that basically being nervous…

Kazunari:

It’s unusual for Aririn to be nervous.

Sakuya:

Is there anything happening today?

Homare:

It’s nothing, it’s just the usual, a general performance day that’s unchanging.

Director:

(The longer this conversation goes, the weirder it gets…)

…Ah, by the way, the invitation ticket that we gave Homare’s grandmother is for the first day right.

Muku:

Is it because your grandmother will be coming?

Homare:

What did you say. There’re grandmothers around on every performance of ours aren’t they.

See, over there too, here too, that side too, on top of your head too--

Sakuya:

There’s no such place!

Homare:

(He’s really nervous…)

Kazunari:

Aririn, relax!

Come, let’s gather around!

Homare:

Ye, yeah!

Kazunari:

Since it’s circus, let’s all raise our hands to form a circus tent--

Homare:

It’s really nice and artistic!

Kazunari:

Right!

Muku:

The cheers from the troupe leader please!

Homare:

Hmm! Then, for the sake of the audience’s smile—

Luminous Circus Troupe, let’s go!

Kazunari:

Oh!

Sakuya:

Oh!

Muku:

Let’s go!

Director:

Do your best!

Homare:

Yes. I’ll be going first, Director-kun.

Director:

(He’s completely back to his usual self and he looks calm now.

I’m so glad!)

<Shifts to Audience’s Seat>

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

<Shifts to Circus’ Backstage>

George:

Hey hey, you! Have you perfected the preparation for tonight’s show!?

Will:

That’s impossible, Leader! Look at this, this swing! The handles are gone and it’s impossible to hang it now.

George:

There’s no problem. Just hang it with a rope and it should be fine! Oh yeah, I’ve decided that the program name will be “The Jungle’s Tarzan Show”!

Will:

I’m a trapeze artist! Not a Tarzan!

Nick:

Anyway, we don’t even have one animal around.

How do you expect us to hold a show?

George:

I’ve thought of a solution for that. Use this!

Nick:

Animal mascot…?

George:

Tim, you’ll become the elephant. Will will become the lion.

Nick:

Such a childish trick, will this kind of thing be able to convince the audiences!?

Tim:

George, the big ball has cracks too, I won’t be able to ride on it.

George:

Then, Will, you’ll play as the big ball!

Will:

Stop with your bullshit already!

Director:

(Everyone looks calm.

You can tell that they’re having fun, I can’t help but to have fun over here too.)

<Shifts to Circus’ Stage>

Tim:

“Paoooon”

(TLN: That’s the elephant sound in Japan.)

Will:

“Garurururu!”

Audience A:

What kind of trick is that!

Audience B:

Return us our money!

Audience A:

You’re just making fool of the audiences!

Audience B:

I’ll never come back here again!

George:

Please wait a minute.

There will be a big guest after this--

Audience:

I’m going home!

Nick:

Ha…

Will:

I wonder if I should have roared louder…

Tim:

I don’t think that’s the problem.

George:

Rejoice everyone!

After the arrival of our big guest, we will have a lot of audiences pouring in!

Then that way, we can fix the swing, even getting an animal for the show!

Nick:

That big guest of yours, when will he be coming?

Will:

It’s been a long time since the performance negotiation.

George:

He’ll come soon!

I’ve already paid the performance fee too!

Nick:

From the beginning, why would a famous person who has been appearing in multiple TV shows agreed to perform in such a small circus troupe like ours.

Will:

Wait… Did you just get scammed!?

George:

That, cannot be!

Nick:

You just used all the money we worked hard for just to get scammed, what are we going to do from now on!?

Will:

We can’t do show anymore, we don’t have any money, isn’t this the end of our troupe!

George:

Ah, calm down! If it’s the guest, he will arrive tomorrow!

It’s already late today. Let’s have dinner, rest, and prepare for tomorrow!

Tim:

George, we don’t even have money for food.

Homare:

What are you saying. There should be enough from today’s ticket sale--

Tim:

I’ve been flooded with request for refund. So everything’s gone.

Will:

Eh!

Nick:

No way~!

George:

Everyone, not to worry! If that’s the case, I have an idea!

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

Director:

(Homare’s grandmother doesn’t change her expression much, I can’t tell what she’s thinking…

But she looks like she’s actually enjoying the show.)

<Shifts to Monastery>

Sister:

Next person please.

May God bless you all.

Nick:

Leader’s idea is, to get the food ration from the monastery…?

Will:

So today’s dinner will be a bowl of potato soup…

Tim:

Most probably tomorrow too.

Nick:

Ha~…

George:

We should be able to get good food tomorrow due to the arrival of the guest.

Let’s just rest our stomach today with this.

Will:

Leader, I wonder where does your positive attitude come from.

Nick:

I’m so jealous.

<Shifts to Circus Outdoor>

George:

Oh?

Baby:

Gyaa, gyaa.

Will:

A baby!? Why is he in this kind of place--

Tim:

It seems to be an abandoned child.

George:

He’ll get cold if he stays in this place. Let’s bring him inside!

<Shifts to Circus’ Backstage>

Baby:

Gyaa, gyaa.

Nick:

Is he feeling hungry? Or is he feeling unwell?

George:

There there.

Will:

Isn’t it better for us to start looking for his mother?

Tim:

It’s no use. A mother who left him in such a place, she’ll just leave him behind in another place afterwards.

Nick:

Then, what should we do?

Tim:

I guess we have no choice but to leave him with the orphanage.

It seems that the monastery over there also functions as an orphanage…

Baby:

Bwee…

George:

Look at him, he’s smiling!

Will:

So he was just cold.

George:

Let’s use this child for tightrope walk!

His face looks like a face of a good tightrope walker!

Nick:

What kind of face is that.

Tim:

From the beginning, we can’t afford to feed him.

We don’t have money to buy milk.

Will:

You’re right, we can’t even feed ourselves.

George:

Not to worry, after the guest arrive tomorrow, you want one or two babies, even 50 babies will not be a problem.

Tim:

George, we don’t know yet whether the guest will actually come tomorrow.

Are you planning to starve the baby to death?

George:

But…

Baby:

Fuee, fuee.

Nick:

There there, you’re so cute.

This child reminds me of Leo’s kid.

Will:

Don’t make it sounds like he’s a lion’s child.

George:

Hey, it’s not a good idea to bring him out again at this timing, why don’t we keep him here for today.

Tim:

How about the money to buy milk?

George:

That, that… I know!

We just need to pawn this stick!

Tim:

George, isn’t that an important stuff that you received when you become the troupe leader.

George:

What about it. I’ll get it back soon, no worries.

<Time Skip>

Baby:

Zzz, zzz…

George:

There there.

Nick:

Leader!

George:

What happened? Has the guest arriv--

Nick:

The lion, Leo, has returned!

George:

What?

Tim:

No, rather than return, it’s more correct to say that the animal mascot has become a real lion.

Nick:

There’re elephants also!

Will:

The swing handles and the big ball too, it seems everything’s fixed! It’s a miracle!

George:

What!?

Tim:

By the way, there’s still no sign of the guest coming at all.

George:

That’s weird, he should be arriving soon…

Will:

Well, it doesn’t matter anymore!

Nick:

You’re right, we can do the show with these!

Let’s start the preparation for the show now!

<Shifts to Circus’ Stage>

George:

Then, the first appearance will be of a brilliant dancer in the sky, let’s welcome our trapeze artist, Will!

Will:

Ha!

Audience A:

Woah!

Audience B:

Amazing! He can make a full turn from such a high place!

Audience C:

It’s like he’s actually born with a wing on his back!

Director:

(Since Sakuya-kun said he wanted to do circus, it seems that he has been learning a lot from Misumi-kun. He really practiced hard and the result is showing properly.)

George:

Our next performance, the clown, Tim!

Kazunari:

Hyoitto.

Audience A:

That clown is juggling while riding the ball!

Audience B:

It’s like the ball is his feet itself.

Audience C:

If you say that, the thrown ball looks like it’s being sucked back straight to his hands.

Director:

(Kazunari-kun, as expected, is really dexterous with his hand.

He fits the role of the easygoing Tim perfectly, the way he casually supports the lead, George, also fits him.)

George:

The next one will be our animal tamer, Nick and Leo the lion!

Lion:

Roar!

Nick:

Let’s go, Leo!

Audience A:

Woah! It jumped through the ring!

Audience B:

He really tamed the lion well.

Director:

(Muku-kun looks so alive.

He really fits well with a fantasy like world like this.)

George:

Thank you for coming!

We look forward to your next visit!

Audience A:

That was fun~!

Audience B:

I want to watch again!

Nick:

Yes, it was a great success!

Will:

With this we will be able to afford dinner today!

George:

That’s amazing, Will.

Even though you haven’t been practicing so much.

Will:

I feel that my body was so light today as if a magic was casted on me!

Tim:

Nick too, to be able to put such performance on a short notice.

Nick:

Well, me too actually, I feel like the animal suddenly understand my words and they did the tricks so smoothly.

Tim:

I also feel like that, it’s like I don’t even need to balance myself on the big ball, the juggling balls too, they came back to my hands wherever I threw them to.

George:

As if a magic spell has been casted huh.

Baby:

Fuee, fuee.

Nick:

Ah, is it going to be time for milk soon?

George:

I see! Surely, this child is a messenger of good luck!

This child has brought good luck for us!

Tim:

Cannot be…

Will:

But, it’s true that it’s only after this child arrives…

Nick:

That means, it’s actually true…?

George:

There’s no mistake!

Baby:

Fugyaa, fugyaa.

Tim:

Anyway, let’s just give him his milk first, George.

Director:

(More than anything else, Homare-san’s George is… A bit direct and straightforward, but you can’t hate him. It fits Homare-san perfectly.

I feel that their warm feelings, of wanting to entertain the audiences, of wanting to entertain Homare’s grandmother too, are being conveyed properly.)

<End of Chapter 9>

Passerby A:

If I had to choose, of course it has to be the Luminous Circus Troupe!

Passerby B:

You’re right, they really perform like magic!

It’s definitely worth watching at least once!

Mogiri:

Today’s same day performance ticket is sold out~!

Passerby C:

Eh~! Even thought I want to watch it!

Suspicious Man:

…Luminous Circus Troupe?

That shabby and worn-out circus troupe?

<Shifts to Circus’ Backstage>

George:

Behold, there are requests for performance coming from everywhere!

As I thought, it’s thanks to this child!

Will:

With this, we don’t need to be worried that we’ll have nothing to eat tomorrow.

Nick:

The Luminous Circus Troupe is now safe!

Tim:

It will be great if things stay this way.

George, have you secured the big guest?

George:

We don’t need him anymore!

As long as this child is here, everything will go well!

Tim:

Are you sure it’s fine?

George:

Of course, Tim.

You would also oppose the idea of relying on a guest right.

Tim:

That’s true, but there won’t be any change like this--

George:

Hmm? Did you say something.

Tim:

…Nothing.

Baby:

*Smile--

George:

There there. Up high!

Suspicious Man:

…

<Shifts to Circus’ Stage>

Nick:

Huh? The baby’s not here?

Will:

That’s weird. He was sleeping over here not so long ago.

Lion:

Growl.

Nick:

Hmm? What is it, Leo.

Will:

I wonder if Leader took him somewhere.

Lion:

Growl.

Nick:

Leo seems to be a bit unsettled. Something might had happened.

Will:

Isn’t he just a bit hungry.

Nick:

But, he’s growling towards that direction over there.

Will:

Over there?

Nick:

Ah! The window over there!

Suspicious Man:

…

Will:

Who is it, he--

Nick:

He had the baby with him!

Will:

Eh!?

Nick:

Is it a kidnapper!?

What to do, we have to hurry up and chase him!

Will:

It will be faster if I use the swing to go there!

<Shifts to Circus Outdoor>

Will:

Hey, wait!

Suspicious Man:

!?

Will:

Return the baby!

Nick:

Get him, Will!

Leo, block the exit!

Lion:

Roar!

Suspicious Man:

Ugh…!

George:

What is happening over here?

Tim:

What kind of commotion is this?

Nick:

Ah, Leader!

That man over there is trying to kidnap the baby!

George:

What!?

Tim:

Let’s catch him!

Will:

Just stay still!

Suspicious Man:

Damn it!

George:

Uhh, he ran away.

Nick:

But, I’m glad the baby is safe.

Will:

Regardless, why would he even try to kidnap the baby in the first place?

Nick:

Maybe, he’s the baby’s father?

Tim:

No, that face, I feel that I’ve seen him in a different circus troupe before.

Most probably, he heard about our recent successes and realized that this child is the secret behind it.

George:

The secret, you’re referring to this child being the messenger of good luck?

Tim:

Yeah.

Will:

That means, he’s going to be targeted again?

Tim:

That, if people know that he can bring in a lot of money, there bound to be some people out there who will want to get hold of him.

Nick:

Isn’t that bad! We have to be even more careful from now on!

George:

…

Will:

We have to keep an eye on the baby, Leader!

George:

…

Nick:

Leader?

George:

Eh!? Ah, uh, yeah, that’s right, let’s do that.

Tim:

…

<Shifts to Circus’ Backstage>

Baby:

Zzz…

Nick:

Leader, it’s time to change. Please get some sleep.

Will:

We will take over from here.

George:

Ah, yeah.

Will, Nick, what do you think of the recent Luminous Circus Troupe.

Nick:

What I think…

Will:

Isn’t it great.

Everyday’s full with everyone’s appreciation and the audiences seem to enjoy themselves.

Nick:

Yep yep.

George:

Nick, about Leo, I’m sorry.

Nick:

No… I was shocked when I heard about Leo, but there’s nothing we can do about it.

At that point, we also had a lot of trouble with Leo’s food.

Will:

What happened, Leader. Why do you make such face.

Luminous Circus Troupe finally return to its previous state, aren’t you supposed to be more excited?

Nick:

Right. You said it yourself, we were going to call the big guest in and make a comeback right.

We were scammed by the big guest, but the result is still the same.

George:

Yeah, you’re right…

Will:

You don’t need to worry anymore. Even when we don’t practice, the show will still go well, the audiences are pretty happy too.

Nick:

Yep yep. As long as this child is here, the Luminous Circus Troupe is safe!

George:

…

The two of you, I will look after this child tonight.

Please sleep so you can prepare for tomorrow’s show.

Nick:

Eh, are you sure?

Will:

Please be really careful.

Call us if anything happened!

<Shifts to Monastery>

Sister:

…I understand the situation.  I’ll take over from here.

George:

Thank you so much.

Sister:

May God bless you and this child.

Baby:

Zzz…

George:

…

<Shifts to Circus Outdoor>

Tim:

George.

George:

!! Tim, why are you here…

Tim:

I just have a feeling you’ll be here.

George:

It’s as you said.

It was wrong from the beginning to rely on something else.

…Tim, do you remember the time when you entered this circus troupe?

Tim:

Yeah. We were both the clown’s apprentice, I couldn’t even perform one thing right at that time.

George:

At that time, I couldn’t help but to think that the practices and shows were fun. Everyday was like a festival on its own.

I love the circus troupe that puts a smiling face on everyone, including the troupe members and the audiences.

But, I wonder when.

I started to become so fixated on money…

I want that child to return to his normal life and live happily. I even involved him in such a dangerous situation. This should be the best for him.

Tim:

If that’s what Leader decides, I have nothing against it.

George:

…Thank you, Tim. I wonder if Will and Nick will be angry.

Tim:

Everyone knows that George is only thinking for the best of the Luminous Circus Troupe.

George:

Yeah…

<Shifts to Circus’ Backstage>

Nick:

Woah! Leader, bad news! The animals have turned into mascots--!

Will:

The swing is in shambles!

Nick:

Eh!? Where’s the baby!?

George:

I’m sorry, by the time I realized, he’s gone.

Nick:

Eh!? By gone you mean…

Will:

I thought we told you to watch over him yesterday night!

George:

I’m sorry.

Will:

We have to hurry and find him!

Tim:

It’s impossible now isn’t it.

Nick:

No way--!

<Shifts to Circus’ Stage>

Director:

(For the Luminous Circus Troupe who had lost its magic, they have no choice but to showcase a poor looking performance, similar to what they had before…)

Audience A:

Get lost!

Audience B:

Return our money!

Audience C:

I’m not going to come again!

Will:

…

Nick:

…

George:

Everyone, it’s too bad today!

There’s still tomorrow, if we just change our mindset--

Nick:

Stop it.

George:

Eh!?

Nick:

There’s no animal here, I can’t perform.

Will:

Me too, without the swings, I can’t fly.

I can’t follow you anymore, Leader.

Nick:

Excuse me.

George:

The two of you—

Uh…

Naturally, this is the result…

To think that I’ll be the last leader of the Luminous Circus troupe…

Past Troupe Leader:

Everyone, behold! The next one will be a beautiful show in the sky!

George:

!?

Th, that is…?

It can’t be, that senior shouldn’t be here anymore--

Past Troupe Leader:

Next will be the best tamer!

Lion:

Roar!

Audience A:

Woah!

Audience B:

Amazing!

Past Troupe Leader:

George, Tim! Hurry and bring in the props!

Past George:

Yes!

George:

--

Right, I couldn’t do anything back then.

Nothing at all… It doesn’t change now.

I guess, it’s a good time to start over from the beginning.

Director:

(In the end, George is filled with such humanity, his regrets and longing, the feelings are properly conveyed.

Homare-san said that he cannot understand people’s feelings properly, but that’s not the case at all. Otherwise, he won’t able to play George with such emotion, it’s so fascinating and we’re all pulled towards his performance.)

Tim:

George? So you’re here?

George:

Tim! Look, the seniors from the past are over there--!

Tim:

Seniors from the past? What are you talking about?

George:

--

Just now, the Luminous Circus Troupe from the past was just there—

Nevermind, it’s nothing.

Tim:

?

George:

Can you help me call Nick and Will over.

I want to try talking to them again.

Director:

(George called Will and Nick over to talk and settle the situation, he has decided to start over from the beginning.)

<Shifts to Monastery>

Director:

(And then, time passed--)

Grown Baby:

Hey hey, there’s a circus troupe coming to this town!

Sister:

Oh, it’s been a while. It’s been around 10 years I guess.

Grown Baby:

I haven’t been born at that time.

Sister:

You’re right, maybe it’s when you were just a little baby.

Grown Baby:

I’m looking forward to it. I heard it’s a circus troupe that shows a magic like illusion.

Children:

Hey, the circus car is here!

Grown Baby:

Really!? I want to see!

Director:

(In the midst of the children’s laughter, the Luminous Circus Troupe once again set up their circus tent…)

<Shifts to Mankai Stage>

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

Director:

(Homare-san’s feelings, I’m pretty sure it’s conveyed properly to his grandmother.)

Kazunari:

Thank you!

Sakuya:

Thank you so much!

Muku:

Thank you so much!

Homare’s Grandmother:

…Thank you.

Homare:

--

Thank you so much.

<Shifts to Lobby>

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

Director:

Arisugawa-san!

Homare’s Grandmother:

--

Director:

Do you want to meet Homare-san?

I’m sure he wants to hear your impression.

Homare’s Grandmother:

…I’ll tell him when he comes home.

Otherwise, he won’t come home at all.

My daughter is always lonely.

Even though he used to come home often.

That’s all, I had fun here.

Director:

I’ll tell Homare-san just that.

Homare’s Grandmother:

Please do so.

Then, I’ll take my leave--

Homare:

Grandmother!

Homare’s Grandmother:

--If you want my impression, I’ll tell you at home.

Homare:

Please wait a minute.

This--

Homare’s Grandmother:

A watch?

Homare:

I haven’t thanked you for the pocket watch yet.

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

Homare:

Thank you for giving me your memorable item from grandfather.

Since then, it won’t move no matter how much I tried to fix it.

Homare’s Grandmother:

I see.

Are you going to dispose it?

Homare:

No. Even thought it has stopped moving, this watch is full of a lot of important memories.

Grandfather’s feelings, grandmother’s feelings, and after that, the feelings of my comrades from this theatre troupe…

Even if it’s just a junk who can’t fulfill its role as a watch, it’s not something that I don’t need anymore.

That’s what I learned from this theatre troupe.

In the end what I received is a place that I love, just like this watch.

Homare’s Grandmother:

…Treasure it properly.

Homare:

Yes.

Thank you so much for today.

Homare’s Grandmother:

…

Homare:

Eh…

Grandmother just now… you smiled!

It’s an important moment, one that I haven’t seen in ten years!

Director:

That’s more important than any impression right.

Homare:

Yes!

<End of Chapter 10>

[exobyharu]

PCY - Ch5

Chapter 5 - All about you

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)...(Part 6)

Summary: PCY does not expect to see you again. Ever. Except in less than twelve hours, he’s about to, once again. This time, he admits that he deserves a punch in the face.

⏰ 9:09 AM 🌏 Hotel (S), City of (L) 🌞 It’s sunny but everyone’s too out of it to actually care 👥 YN, Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon, Byun Baekhyun, EXO’s manager (mentioned)

Notes: After a decade, I am finally back! My biggest apologies for taking forever. I tried to make this one a bit longer than usual. Expect more regular updates! I’m sorry that PCY swears a bit here too.

Words: ~2,300

💙💙💙

Twenty-one missed calls and twelve text messages on his personal phone, all from Junmyeon: they were ominous tells that Chanyeol ought to postpone his scheduled return to the studio. Just when he finally saw the wisdom in what at first seemed like punishment by isolation, his plans of returning with news of a productive break were dashed the moment he woke up to his work phone vibrating to another message, this time, from EXO’s manager.

“Who is the girl?”

The question needed no further elucidation.

Just leave her alone, Chanyeol thought, and then he groaned, pressing his face against his pillow because he was never going to see you again, anyway. What’s all the fuss about?

It was nine in the morning, and four hours of sleep seemed inadequate, considering that he had spent at least an hour packing that evening, and the rest of the night, taking advantage of the unexpected surge of inspiration that had finally come after weeks of uninspired efforts.

He was certain that this song finally had all the missing elements that the writers at SM always complained about. He, himself, was amazed by how smoothly he had managed to put something together at three in the morning, too. Still, this was the song they had always wanted from him and he was five hundred percent sure about it.

It turned out that he just needed to quit being frustratedly self-absorbed and instead, see everything in the eyes of someone else. When he did, the landscape shifted and ideas flowed in. You were the one who made this possible for him. You made him realise that it was probably more sensible to derive inspiration from what was out there, rather than generating egocentric works that other people hardly related to.

A tremendously simple concept. How had he not even considered this?

There was something about how you were able to read into his skilfully-concealed ego problems and this made him even more self-aware. It was one thing to hear it from his friends, and for that, he had been careful ever since. He was confident with the control he had on his narcissistic tendencies. But hearing it from you, who had just met him, made you an unforgettably helpful clairvoyant.

“I think that’s how you can reach out to more audiences,” you told him last night, gingerly munching on a biscotti and possibly, launching an underhanded attack on his ego. “Stop writing about yourself. Write about what’s out there.”

“Like what?” he asked you, burning with so much eagerness that you probably felt the intensity of his stare. Stop writing about yourself. That was a headshot.

“Hmm… Well, let’s see…” you trailed off, swiping through his phone, and scanning the lengthy compilation of his serially rejected compositions. You may as well be a speed reader, seeing how you had managed to reach the end of it so quickly. That was another detail that he forgot to ask you about last night. He will never know then.

“I’m sure this will sound great when I listen to it later, but like I said, it seems that this whole thing is about having a good time,” you explained, stealing a quick glance at the way he kept his fidgety fingers tightly interlocked on the table. Chanyeol caught that and made sure to keep the signs of his bubbling anxiety in check.

Just listen, he had to remind himself. What are you being so nervous about?

“Look, I’m no writer, but if you really want to write a love song, the feelings that I want to get need to be more dynamic than what all of this gives me.”

Operational word: dynamic. Again, the point was that he lacked experience and hearing about it was getting old. He leaned in closer for emphasis – also to make sure that he did not raise his voice in frustration. “You want me to write about things I don’t know?”

You shrugged, showing him the same easygoing attitude as if the idea was naturally forthcoming at the very least. “You can always write about wanting to know instead. You know, how you would rather, or think it would be? After all, people tend to yearn for things they don’t have. It’s one that we all have in common, in my opinion. It’s a universal feeling that’s relatable.”

Longing, huh?

Was it a simple insight? It seemed more like your current state of mind that slipped through. He needed you to voice out more fragments from your internal monologue to confirm his suspicion, but you did not give him that. You scrunched up your nose instead. “Not everyone dreams of a fancy car and a supermodel for a girlfriend, Chanyeol.”

Your comment made him uncross his legs. “Yah! Quit judging my life already, will you?“ At the same time, his knee hit the underside of the table. You were both startled as everything on it shook. Tall people problems. He could not seem to switch off his klutzy side when it mattered most. It made you giggle to see some of his coffee splash onto the screen of his phone. “And I’m not attracted to female supermodels!”

Growing unfazed by his usually exaggerated responses, you raised a speculative brow. “Let me guess… But female supermodels are attracted to you?”

Chanyeol flashed a lopsided grin on purpose. “I do have a mostly-female fanbase, so I can’t say for sure that–”

“Again! My main point, sir,” you interrupted, with a playful roll of your eyes. “If you wanna add to your influence, write about other things.” He almost thought that you were really going to poke his nose with your finger. He guessed that it was just your snarky side showing itself. “Be proactive and do some research by listening to other people too. I’m sure you’ll find more feelings to write about.”

Hence, that night marked the beginning of a more dynamic Park Chanyeol, who would create art and music that may deviate from the typical industrial material he felt that he had pretty much exhausted already. Creation was his passion and he had you to thank for making him realise how he had boxed himself up too much because he was afraid to express his own vulnerability, which, ought to be the point in the first place.

This was why EXO’s main rapper wrote a fucking ballad. And it was a ballad that he could not even sing. But he wrote it and it did not matter to him who sang it. He would rather have someone else do it justice. All that mattered to him was that the song made it through. He wanted to reach out to people, and strangely, it mattered to him that you heard it too. He wanted you to hear your words played on the radio someday, knowing well that you were part of the creative process. You, that girl whose shitty day he tried to turn around, and whose underlying melancholic disposition he wished to uplift but cannot.

Will you ever find what you were looking for? Will your family ever understand you? Were you really unemployed? Or was it something you chose to say so he would stop asking questions already?

He will never find out because he will never see you again. That said, SM just spent wasteful money on hiring somebody to tail him while he was away. What was all the fretting about? Junmyeon was probably going supernova over nothing of substance and their manager had to be getting drunk on his trust issues again. Both of his phones were ringing simultaneously now, and he was about three rings away from answering one and tossing the other across the room.

Junmyeon or Baekhyun? Choose your own adventure, he thought, rolling to his side and sighing as he wearily brought both of his phones close to his face. Probably for the first and only time ever, he chose Baekhyun.

“PARK CHANYEOL!”

Eyes wide and mouth in a frenzied snarl – there had to be no other look on Junmyeon who was now yelling at the other end of the line. Chanyeol was not even surprised to know that it was him using Baekhyun’s phone. It was Junmyeon or Junmyeon. There was no choice in the first place. He half expected the possibility, and just like that, his day was shot. He rose from his bed and pulled out the curtains to see the rest of the city going about its business.

A kajillion other people with stories to write about, he remembered you say. Your voice resonated from somewhere in his head, effectively drowning out the endless buzzing of the phone he held at least a foot away from his ear. When Junmyeon had calmed down, Chanyeol finally started listening in.

“… and since you would not answer their calls, everyone’s expecting me to offer an explanation. They won’t stop pestering me and I would be in a much better mood if I did not have more urgent things to do. Listen, I don’t care wha–”

“I was asleep, okay?” he interrupted, dragging his voice and feeling the weight of exasperation on his tongue. “You can send all those calls to me now. Thank you for taking shit for me.”

“Yah! Don’t hang up!”

“Then how am I supposed to talk to them?!” Chanyeol barked. It was his first instinct, knowing well that the last time he got yelled at like this was when he was falsely accused of spreading their unreleased material online. Surely, how he chose to spend last night was not as much of a mortal sin as a breach of their contract. Because just now, Junmyeon sounded like it was much worse than that.

“Forget it. We’ve dealt with the reporters.”

Reporters? The rapper’s pulse ran cold as he instantly froze where he stood.

“We just need to get you out of there with your security detail. The staff is arranging–”

“Yah! Hold up!” Chanyeol heard the nervous rasp in his voice as panic slowly claimed the frustration that initially controlled him. “What do you mean? Why are there reporters involved?”

“Of course there are reporters involved!” Junmyeon howled. “When you go out on a date looking as you are, Mister Park Chanyeol, with a girl who received ten dozens of roses from you, OF COURSE people will take pictures and talk!”

Chanyeol’s fist flew out, punching the air in front of him. “The he- …How do you guys even know this?!”

“You mean how does social media know about this? It’s all over the internet, Chanyeol. Check your phone! Check GTN27! Wake the fuck up!”

“I am awake! And I am checking my phone now!” he went, nervously fumbling for the other phone that had finally stopped ringing. His fingers trembled, not even able to key in his password properly. It sent his mind reeling, not sure about how much he wanted to find out. Did they discover who you were? Were fans stalking you already? And the media? Were you even safe? The mere fact that they knew he sent you flowers meant that they knew your room number.

“Look, I’m sure it’s not what you think. YN would not–”

“We know,” Junmyeon’s tone was abruptly much kinder and Chanyeol knew that this was because there was finally someone else with him, wherever he was. There were people, in fact. He must have stepped out of a room or something. The rapper was relieved that all the yelling was finally over, at least for now. “Listen, YN YLN? We know she’s not responsible, okay?”

“You–” he choked out, eyes wide and tilting back as the realisation finally hit him. “She’s with you?!”

The immediate response that he got was the voice of Baekhyun, distinct in the background. He was asking for his phone. A second later, Chanyeol heard a whine that was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut. There was complete silence once again.

“Yeah. We found her before those undercover reporters at the hotel lobby did. You can thank the staff later,” Junmyeon said, his stern voice echoing through what seemed like their empty dance studio.

“Is she okay?!” Chanyeol exclaimed, his eyebrow twitching as he attempted to hold back his emotions – whatever it was that he was feeling. Anger? Worry? Extreme impatience? “Let me talk to her!”

“She’s with the staff.” Junmyeon was dismissive and it was clear that the guy was not going to let him talk to you. “People on the internet dubbed her Biscotti Girl and she hated it. That’s why she gave us her real name. She would not say anything more after that.”

Biscotti Girl? More than the ridiculous nickname, Chanyeol found himself closing his eyes and smiling in relief because it seemed that your identity was not revealed. It was all that he could ask for at the moment. The rest, he could deal with much later. This was all his fault any way.

“Don’t worry about her. I made sure she’s comfortable. Right now, we’re working on getting you here as soon as possible.”

Right. It was difficult to see sometimes, but Junmyeon was on his side. He had always been.  “Now, I’ll quit it with all this leader bullshit. As your brother, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

Other than dumb excuses? Chanyeol did not think so.

“I’ll explain everything to you when I get there, hyung,”

His voice was even, but his mind was racing decathlons for possible explanations that provided you the easiest way out of this predicament. If the entire company had his back no matter what mess he got himself into, he wanted to make sure that you at least had him. It had come to this, after all. He can only imagine how much trouble he’d caused you. So much for writing a song to make you feel better. The song was not even enough to save him this time.

Chanyeol pressed his forehead against the window and groaned.

You. Fucking. Genius.

💙💙💙 - to be continued - 

[varricmancer]

Lost And Found | 1

Also available on AO3

Pairing: Varric Tethras x OC

Word Count: 4,075

Summary: Instead of the nothingness she had craved, Crystal woke up in the world of Thedas. What had once been merely a story that she loved now seemed very real and she was right in the heart of it all. She soon finds a reason to live again and a love in the arms of someone as quietly broken as her. 

Warnings: Attempted suicide (not graphic, but possible trigger). The OC has depression and low self-esteem, so don’t expect her to be some bright mary sue. At the same time, this sounds darker than it is. It’s going to have fluff and comedy and all that eventually, but OC has some growing to do first. She’s just not the usual strong and easygoing character many oc’s are. She’s more of a delicate creature. Also, it is Dragon Age, so there will be descriptions of war/battles/violence.

Notes: And there we go, a beginning. This was nearly 10k, but I felt like that was too long for tumblr to handle each chapter, so I’ve cut them into smaller ones. So the next chapter will be here very soon. Regardless of how this fic goes in the future, I’m happy that I finally typed something up for this, after nearly a decade of wanting to. I played fast and loose with characters and timelines sometimes to fit my story, so don’t kill me. PLEASE let me know what you think. 

The view was lovely.

The moon was full and bright, reflecting off of the rippling water in a way that called to her. It was so calm and quiet here tonight, unusual for this particular bridge. Almost like the world decided to finally do her a favor and make sure that no one was around except for the ducks to witness her one last dumb decision.

She was so tired.

Tired of everything. Tired of having nothing. Tired of being alone.

There would be no one to mourn her. No one to care.

She closed her eyes and let go.

It was time to rest.

As consciousness came to her, so did despair.

She couldn’t even get dying right.

Flashes of murky water filling her lungs turned into green shadows surrounding her, whispering as they pulled her lower. They promised it wasn’t her time. She had a purpose and somewhere she belonged. That she was under someone’s protection. That she needed to live more and become strong. She hadn’t believed them. Thought them to be some sort of hallucination.

Whatever had happened, she was apparently still alive.

Her eyes fluttered open, cringing as she realized her arm was killing her. She managed to raise her head up enough to glance at her left arm, seeing that it was wrapped in some sort of cloth sling. She didn’t remember hitting anything when she was in the water, but it certainly felt like something had happened to it. She could hear moans of pain and soft voices murmuring to them. She tried to sit up a little more, releasing a whimper as she realized her ribs hurt as well.

“Hush now. Lay back, child. You’ve been quite injured,” a soft voice ordered as they placed a gentle hand on her head to coax her back down. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Crystal. Crystal Foster,” she responded, looking up at the strange woman leaning over the little cot she was on.

The outfit the older woman was wearing looked strangely familiar, all crimson and gold with splashes of white. The tall headpiece bore similar colors and a name came to mind as she observed it.

But it couldn’t be.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Crystal. I am Mother Giselle. Do you remember where you are?”

Crystal knew she could be in one of three places, depending on the timeline, but she was almost afraid to voice any of them. The conclusion she was coming to about where she could be was insane. She must have finally lost her mind. Or maybe she was in a coma after being fished out of the lake. Maybe the afterlife was some sort of limbo where you just lived through scenes of whatever had brought you happiness during life.

“I...I am not sure.”

Mother Giselle pet her hair gently, trying to calm her as the slowly rising panic became more obvious.

“We are currently in the Hinterlands. This area is the Crossroads. Is anything sounding familiar, dear?”

Shit. She was in fucking Dragon Age. As in the video game she’s been playing and obsessing over for nearly a decade. She’s had dreams about this place before, but nothing so vivid. Nothing where she felt every ache in her body, could smell all the various scents of the little village outside, could hear conversations that she’d never heard in the game.

“Yes. I know where I am now,” she answered shakily. 

Mother Giselle breathed a sigh that sounded like relief, probably happy she didn’t have someone that had lost their mind on her hands.

Little did she know.

“I’m afraid your arm is broken and two of your ribs are cracked, not surprising considering how high that tear in the sky was and with you being so small. We’ve been giving you healing potions and have set the bones in your arm, but those only go so far. Most of the mages skilled in the healing arts are either in the battle or have gone to Redcliffe, otherwise we would have had you healed and out of here within a couple of days. Instead, you’ll have to take it easy and drink some of the elfroot tonic every six hours.”

“Tear in the sky?”

Mother Giselle’s eyebrow rose in surprise. “Were you not aware of how you got here, dear? You fell from one of those horrid green tears right onto the ground below. Since they’ve appeared, we’ve only seen demons spew from them, but we had you looked over and you seem to be a regular human. The only other person we know of that just emerged from beyond like you is the man they are calling the Herald of Andraste. Perhaps you are here to aid him.”

“I don’t know about that, but I can assure you I’m not evil or anything.”

“That’s good. Now that you are awake, I will have someone bring you some water and broth. You’ve been out of it for a couple of days and we couldn’t get you to take much. You’ll want to sip the broth slowly, then we’ll move you onto solid food tomorrow. Do you have any family you’d like us to alert to your presence here? You’re going to have to be careful for a few weeks and it would be helpful to have a family member to assist you.”

“I don’t. There’s no one.” No one in real life or this crazy dream.

“I’m sorry to hear that, my child. This is a trying time for everyone; many here have lost their families as well. You’re free to stay in the village for the time being, if you’d like. I’d worry if you wandered off while you’re so injured. Once you’re fit, we could always use your help around the village. There’s so few of us left here and we need all the help we can get.” Mother Giselle sighs wearily and pats Crystal’s hand. “There’s a hut that just opened up that I can put you in for now. The owner passed away a few days ago after being attacked by bandits. We can get you set up tomorrow after you rest a bit more. I’ll ask Corporal Vale about supplies for you and perhaps some tasks that will keep you busy while you heal.”

“Thank you, Mother Giselle.”

“You’re welcome, child. Eat, sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mother Giselle left the large tent after speaking to someone that Crystal assumed was a healer. They nodded after whatever they’d been told, leaving together, hopefully to get the promised food and water. Her throat was killing her. She took a moment to glance to her right, seeing five other cots lined in the tent, filled with people in various states of health.

Crystal took stock of her situation. She was injured in the middle of the Hinterlands, a place that came from a video game. The NPC’s were talking and moving and breathing like real people. She didn’t know if she was dead or not so this could be a coma, some weird limbo thing, or she’d finally lost her damn mind. She supposed there were worse things to hallucinate about.

Except if she was in the Crossroads at the same time as Mother Giselle, that meant they were in the early stages of Inquisition, and there would be Mages and Templars battling everywhere. Not to mention, there was a shortage of food and other supplies. She wondered how long it would be until the Herald got here.

Crystal let herself have a little fangirl moment as she thought about the fact that she might see the Inquisitor in the flesh, and their party. Well, as flesh-like as whatever this insane dream would allow. Everyone else seemed real enough, why not them? She wondered who it was.

The chantry woman that Mother Giselle had been talking to before finally came back with a tray holding a bowl of broth, a small chunk of bread, some water, and a small vial of green liquid. She pulled a tiny table out of the corner and placed it in front of the bed, putting the tray on top of it and placing the spoon in Crystal’s unhurt right hand.

“Hello there! Make sure you drink your broth before taking your healing potion. You haven't had much in the way of food for a couple days and I don’t want you to upset your stomach. There’s a tiny bit of bread there, just in case you feel like you can handle it.”

“Thank you,” Crystal responded gratefully, stomach gurgling at the thought of food, even if it was just broth and bread. She doubted they had much more than this anyway, if the game was anything to go by.

Once every bit on the tray was gone, she attempted to drink the potion. It tasted similar to the wheatgrass shots she’d occasionally get at a smoothie shop when she wanted to pretend she was healthy. She shrugged and chugged it down, the healer giggling at her obvious disgusted face. 

Once the hunger pangs were gone, Crystal could feel just how exhausted she was. How you could feel tired in a dream, she had no idea, but she decided to stop questioning everything and just go with it. She’d wake up eventually, she supposed. She hissed from the pain of her ribs as she adjusted herself back down on the cot. What she wouldn’t give for a pillow. She sighed and closed her eyes, falling into a deep sleep. 

Of all the fucking places in Thedas she could have been thrown into, it had to be the damn Hinterlands. She hated this place enough in the games, but it was nothing compared to the reality of actually living here.

She’d been in the Crossroads for a total of three weeks and it was so far very much like an extended camping trip, only with more actual death around her. 

The hut that she’d been given wasn’t completely horrible. The man that had lived here before had lost all of his family months before he himself had died, and he’d kept all of their things in here. She’d managed to find some clothes that had belonged to his daughter that was small enough for her to wear, and easy enough to deal with one-handed.  The wife had plenty of clothes here, but with Crystal being a mere five feet tall, they were practically tents on her. 

Unfortunately, the furs and blankets the man had in the hut had already been distributed among the survivors, leaving her with only one fur to put on top of the cot to make it somewhat comfortable, and a raggedy blanket no thicker than a light cloak to cover with. The nights were steadily growing colder and she missed the heating in her apartment. 

Bathing was another issue. Crystal managed to wash up a bit by boiling some water at night and wiping herself down with a cloth, but without any soap there was only so much she could do. She usually braided her brown hair into one long rope, it being the only hairstyle she could manage with her hair as gross as it was. She’d heard that the people used to be able to get scented soaps from Redcliffe, but with the Templar and mage battles taking over the area they’d shut the gates and the village here had decided they had more important things to worry about than body odor.  

Food was also getting incredibly scarce. Everyone was too terrified to go hunting with all the fighting everywhere. She remembered that there was an area filled with rams not too far from here in the game, but with only one arm functioning she couldn’t help. She’d tried to talk to others about it, but many here were still wary of the outsider and not willing to brave the fields. 

Still, people were starting to fuss, but Crystal held onto the knowledge that the Herald would be here at any moment. She’d questioned Mother Giselle a few days after she’d first woken up, and she’d learned that word had already been sent to Haven that the need for aid here was great. As her stomach grumbled for the third time, she hoped it would be today. One bowl of what was basically hot water filled with herbs was all she’d had for the past couple of days, since she always passed the bread and jerky she’d been given off to the children. 

Most of her time here had been spent helping with the wounded, although the blood and guts were something she still had trouble getting used to. She didn’t think she’d make a good healer anytime soon, but she made herself useful on the sidelines. Though the healers looked at her strangely for it, she often could be found sterilizing their equipment and bandages in boiling water and alcohol, having watched enough medical dramas to know a few things about cleanliness and infection. She tossed leeches out as soon as she spied them, remembering all the gruesome deaths she’d heard about due to bloodletting and their use. 

Most often she could be found simply sitting next to the patients giving what comfort she could. They often entrusted her with letters to their families or begged her to just talk to them. She held their hand as they drew their last breath. Often, seeing how desperate some of them were to live made her feel guilty that she’d ever thought to give up her own life so easily. She knew that if she ever woke up or got another chance, the faces of the people crying because they didn’t want to go would haunt her enough that she didn’t think she’d make the same choice again. 

As for her theory that this was all a dream, it was being tested on a daily basis. When she could feel the sharp pangs of hunger every day and hear the agonizing screams of the dying it was a little harder to believe. After burying little four year old Alice today because she got hit by a stray fireball when she wandered a little far from home, it seemed very real. Just yesterday she had the girl sitting right in front of her as she’d told a rapt group of kids the story of Pinnochio. She’d been full of laughter and questions, just the sweetest little thing. And now she was buried next to her mother who had died just a week prior, leaving her father all alone. He hadn’t wanted either of them on a pyre like they did with most of their dead here, and Crystal had stood up for him against the Chantry people telling him he shouldn’t. She knew that having them somewhere he could visit would be a great comfort. 

There was no way that any dream of hers would force her to go through something like this, though. Not even if she was in some sort of limbo as punishment for what she’d done. These people were real and dying, but she didn’t know how or why she was here. Only the strange flashes of memory after she’d hit the water. 

Crystal had escaped to her little hut after the small ceremony for Alice to mourn in peace. All of this death was so new to her that it was almost unbearable. She wished she had the courage to fight to make this stop, but didn’t think she could do it. She had the knowledge that could help, but to actually pick up a sword and go out there was madness. She’d be dead in minutes. Years of working in retail in the middle of a big city sadly did not prepare you for living in a battle zone. 

To help keep her mind off things, she stood at the little side table that she’d converted into a sort of workspace. With everyone so busy actually using the potions to keep the wounded alive, there hadn’t been a lot of time for the healers to make the potions themselves. And the nearest Alchemist that anyone knew of was all the way in Haven. Crystal had taken it upon herself to help with that, figuring it wouldn’t be too difficult to brew a few potions with one arm. Though their supplies were running very low, she did the best she could with the instructions that one of the sisters had given her. She’d been told her results were good and she found the task soothing. When she was in here brewing, she wasn’t out there listening to the cries of pain and hunger. 

She’d just thrown a handful of elfroot into her mortar -wishing it was a juicer instead - when a light knock rattled the rickety wooden door. Curiously, she wandered over and answered the door, smiling as the older man was revealed. 

“Giles! To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Giles was a sweet man, probably in his early fifties and acted like he was the mayor here. As the “village” was merely a series of houses placed around the crossroads, there was no mayor needed, but Giles worked like one anyway. He was a font of information and a horrible gossip, not a great combination in most cases, but luckily he was a kind man. He was one of the first to treat Crystal like an actual person instead of the freak that fell out of the sky. 

“Came to share a bit of bounty. Knew you probably wouldn’t peek yer nose out of the door unless someone made ya. Going ta stay and make sure ye actually eat it all down and don’t give it away fer once too.”

The smell hit her first. The rich scent of warm roasted meat filled her senses. Her mouth began watering even before he pulled off the cloth to reveal a plate full of meat, a couple of potatoes, and a bit of cabbage. The pains in her stomach that she’d begun to get used to felt almost excruciating as she accepted the plate with shaking hands. 

“Where did this come from?” 

Giles patted his own belly that she noticed extended a tad more than usual today, probably having already feasted himself. He sat himself down in the old rocking chair in the corner, sighing loudly as he settled in. 

“That lad they call the Herald came by with his crew. They ran into a bear on their way here and apparently had no trouble. Even brought some supplies from Haven with them, so we were able to make everyone a decent meal for once. Shame we have to wait for the bear hide to be tanned properly before it can be used, but that’ll be one more blanket for someone when it’s done.” 

Crystal was already shamelessly digging into the meat with her bare hands as he explained, too hungry to care about things like manners right now. She’d never eaten bear before in her life, but she was so hungry this rivaled even the Wagyu beef she’d tried once, and that was supposedly the best steak in the world. 

“See, lass, everyone is hungry but don’t think I don’t know why you’re that hungry. I’ve seen ya sneaking yer bread and whatnot to the little ones. Slow down so you don’t hurt your stomach there,” Giles wagged his finger, her only answer a pleased moan as she bit into the roasted potato. It was just a potato, but it could have been an ice cream sundae based on the way she relished it. 

With her belly slowly filling for the first time in days, she was able to concentrate a little more on what Giles was currently rambling on about. 

“Wait, did you say The Herald was here? I missed him?!” 

“Well, ye were off helping with Thomas’s wee lass. They came and dropped everything off, had a word with the Mother and Vale and off they went. One of the villagers mentioned the field of rams up the hill so they’ve gone off to hunt for us. Said they’d be back in an hour or two.” Giles grabbed her mug, pouring her a glass of water and pushing it towards her with a nod that he wanted her to pause for a drink. She accepted it, her hand still slightly shaking from lack of food. She hoped she wouldn’t spill on herself, although that wouldn’t be the first time today. 

Giles scowled, “Mother Giselle told them about ye and the boy's eyes lit up so I imagine they’ll want ta have a word. Just be careful and don’t let them talk you into doing anything you don’t want to do. If he’s Herald of Andraste, yer Andraste herself. He’s not the boss of ye.” 

Crystal snorted, poking around her plate as she tried to pace herself. 

“Pretty sure that’s blasphemy. What would Mother Giselle say?” 

“Don’t rightly care, lass. You’ve done more for the people here than she has, and ye do it with only one working hand and nothing to yer name. You go out of yer way to help others before yerself, and the people can tell ye actually care. The Mother does it because she sees it as her duty. In fact, she’s been looking a little tubby lately while ye give the little ones yer share o’ the food.” 

“Oh, hush. She does quite a lot too. I don’t have half of her skills.” 

“Ye don’t need skills to have a heart, lass. People overlook ye because you’re such a quiet, wee thing. But I see ye. If I had any, I’d bet money that all of Thedas is going ta know yer name soon, and they’re all going to love ye.” 

“You’re a drama queen.” 

Giles lifted an eyebrow. “How am I a Queen, girl?” 

Crystal giggled. “It means someone that is overly dramatic.” 

“Why didn’t ye just say that then? Always with the strange words that mean something other than what ye say.” 

Crystal laughed at Gile’s perplexed but amused grin before attacking the rest of her meal. She finished in record time, almost sad when she took the last bite of cabbage. Her stomach felt bloated, almost uncomfortably so, but she was full for the first time in weeks. 

Giles took the plate from her, patting her on the head as he stood up from the rocking chair and walked to the door. 

“They cleared out some of the road if you wanted to go looking for herbs for yer potions. There should be plenty of elfroot to the left of the main road. If ye walk a little further north, there will be plenty of spindleweed. I’ll tell Vale to lend ye a man fer protection.” 

“Thank you, Giles. And thank you for the food.” 

“Yer welcome, lass. I’m going to watch the roads while these newcomers roam if ya need me. Remember what I said. Don’t let them bully ye. You’re more than welcome to make your home here if ya want, or go with the lad if they can help with all that tear in the sky business.” 

Giles left the hut, closing the barely stable door softly behind him. Crystal sighs wearily and sinks into the chair. She could feel her body working hard to get used to having food in it again and she felt extremely tired, much like she used to feel after a huge Thanksgiving meal when she was a kid. She didn’t think she had the energy to go hunting for herbs today. Instead, she’d hoard the bit of energy she had left so she’d be ready to meet the Inquisitor. 

She still had no clue who it was. Giles hadn’t said anything about what race The Herald was, but he had called him a boy. Perhaps it was a human male. Giles was a very unjudgemental man, but even he would have said something if a huge Qunari had wandered into the village claiming to be The Herald.

At least she knew who the companions would be. The game always started with Solas, Varric, and Cassandra. Crystal had been very much looking forward to them getting here in the hopes that Solas would be able to properly heal her. If she continued the way she was, it would be another five months before her arm was healed. A mage like Solas could have her healed up in moments. 

She was also very excited to see Varric. He’d been one of her favorite characters for years, and the thought that she was about to meet him in person blew her mind. 

Crystal giggled to herself at the image of her fangirling over them, squealing like a nutjob. She knew that she wouldn’t do that, but the image of Cassandra having to deal with a crazy fan was hilarious. 

She pushed herself up, humming to herself as she checked on the healing potion she’d already started. She had plenty to keep her occupied until they came back. 

((AN: Don’t ask me why Giles suddenly sounded like he came from the highlands of Scotland. He told me what to say and I just wrote it down. PLEASE let me know what you thought of this so far. Since it’s my first attempt at writing for DA I need all the feedback I can get))

[magioftheseas]

wait, wait. so i just saw your ask about komanami and their friendship, and as a fellow shipper who really loves your work, im a little confused. if you thought she was pretty hostile towards him in the game, and that she treated him like garbage in the OVA (which, to be fair, she did, albeit mostly because of poor writing and not because she suddenly became a grade-A asshole), why do you ship them exactly?... for the potential?

:T

:T 

>:T

*puts down a soap box*

I don’t like the idea of giving a pass for bad behavior just because of bad writing. I’ll be honest, I fucking hate that idea, actually. It just doesn’t seem right. Because I don’t think the issue in the writing for something like this wasn’t a concern of competency but an concern of empathy. The way Komaeda gets treated comes across an awful lot like bigotry.

Because he’s weird. Because he’s strange. But most importantly because someone like him isn’t really a part of the group. And why is that? Is it just eccentric behavior? That doesn’t seem to be right. Like, all the sdr2 kids are fucking eccentric, so what makes Komaeda so weird in comparison?

Well, we know for a fact that he’s mentally ill. Mentally ill in a way that severely impairs his social skills. And because he can’t socialize right, that’s justification for not treating him right. And that’s…not just bad writing, that’s hateful writing. There’s a world of difference between a lack of continuity and a lack of humanity. We need to come down way more harshly on the latter because I can forgive structure flubs but that kind of thinking just isn’t acceptable!

Alright, now I’ll remove the soap box and replace it with the shipping box. Since there is a reason for it. I really had to get that other stuff off my chest though because what you said really rubbed me off the wrong way. I apologize.

Anyway. So. Why do I ship KomaNami?

I’ve actually gone into why before while acknowledging their not-so-great relationship in canon, but maybe that’s the post that’s confusing.

Potential is foundational in shipping, so that’s a given. But there’s always more to it than that.

I do think that Nanami’s stoic eccentricity would play well off Komaeda’s more energetic eccentricity yet with how calm and calming Komaeda is, I feel like he gives off the kind of air where Nanami can relax and be a little more open. And I think that Nanami could also provide that kind of presence for Komaeda, too, yes, but probably not as easily as the other way around which I find interesting.

One thing as mentioned that I like is that Komaeda provides a potential for growth for both AI and human Nanami.

For AI Nanami, that she struggles to get along with Komaeda when it’s part of her main function as an AI could lead to interesting themes of not just the lacking in artificiality but also how understanding can be different even if not especially between people. It can evoke some questions of where Nanami can struggle internally with this kind of failure and if she feels pressured to change this way, what may occur? I honestly had that kind of thinking in mind when playing through sdr2 and I thought this was why Nanami got more serious and involved than she had been previously. Now, I really don’t think this was the, er, intentional thought-process behind her writing at this point, but…

It’s still interesting enough that I really like the idea if anything.

For human Nanami, I really like the idea of Nanami initially being drawn to Komaeda due to his easygoing and calming nature but then finding herself challenged by him in a similar way that Hinata is. I like the idea of human Nanami being very directionless, reserved, and being very hesitant on leaving her comfort zone, so someone like Komaeda would definitely be attractive at first (in, um, a manner of speaking) but then he would start pushing her later but not like…in a way that’s super impeding. He just sort of rattles about these things and he might scold Nanami a little on her apathy and listlessness, but I feel like he wouldn’t really push her due to his own poor self-esteem.

I like the idea of Komaeda being someone that can challenge Nanami to think differently not just about herself but how she perceives things and the things that she’s actually capable of. And I especially like it if when afterwards when he likely grates on her and she starts to lean away from him once she makes friends with the other kids, that she doesn’t realize until it’s too late and she lost an important friend (in a vague manner of speaking that really could mean anything) and this leads her to some serious self-reflecting on just the kind of person she is and if it’s really better this way (staying stagnant, not changing, just drifting through one day after another) or even if she’s really “happy” this way. Stories like this I find really appealing especially in the the potential for depth and nuance.

On Komaeda’s side, I don’t really see someone like Nanami being as significant, honestly except on the basic level of having someone who supports him. But because she lacks the motivation and patience, she might not leave a deep impact on him. Obviously if she does have those things, it’s a different story that completely shifts the balance, but I don’t mind that too much. I honestly do just like the idea of these two getting along because… Well, again, they have a great potential for banter and they look great together to boot.

…sooooo that’s why I ship them, heh. Some of my major reasoning, at least. I do prefer it more on the platonic side, but romantic is like, whatever. I headcanon Komaeda as pretty gay.

[famedroleplayarchive]

YOO RIOH is the MAKNAE, LEAD VOCAL, AND LEAD DANCER of VIVE under GOLD STAR MEDIA. He was born on FEBRUARY 25, 2002. He looks a little like YANG JEONGIN (I.N) OF STRAY KIDS.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: Yang Jeongin (I.N), member of Stray Kids

legal name: Yoo Rioh

stage name: ///

pronouns: He / him / his

birth date: Feb 26, 2002

hometown: Seoul, KR

position: Maknae, lead vocal, lead dancer of Vive

claims: ///

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: ///

( YOO RIOH’s LIFE IN VIGNETTES // FROM 2002 → PRESENT )

SCENE I. SEOUL, KR — 2009, Q2. ON-SET, PHOTOSHOOT.

“Yes! You’re doing so good, baby!” His mother encourages from off-set, the harsh, warm light beaming over at him so strong that he’s not able to open his eyes properly. The photographer pauses, readjusts, and continues shooting—the pint-sized “model” for the day doing his best to smile wide and act “cute,” just like he’s practiced in the mirror at home. Honestly, he’s not really sure why he’s here, nor does he know what he’s getting involved in, but it’s easy enough that his family frames it as a fun extracurricular activity… even if he finds himself getting distracted from time-to-time. After all, he’s only here because he was “discovered” in a shopping mall, and when the subject of payment was mentioned, mom and dad became increasingly interested.

Living off of lower salaries made them desperate for more cash, even if it meant utilizing their son’s adorable appearance to their benefit. Luckily though, they love him all the same; their greed has never swallowed them up whole—thank goodness!

Teeny-tiny hands are grasping at the bottom of his shirt; playing with the hemline to self-soothe himself from the constant flashing lights and loud voices all around him. When it’s time for a break, he’s taken aside in order to indulge himself in some sweet treats and beverages—which, to be honest, has been his favorite part of this whole experience.

“Mama, will I get to have cookies and cake every time I get my pictures taken?!” He asked, his mouth and cheeks covered in strawberries and chocolate. His mother laughs, wiping his face. “If you do a good job, of course! Just try not to eat so sloppily, love. You don’t wanna be dirty for the camera, do you?” With that, he shook his head; perfectly willing to obey his mom. Rioh’s always been an easygoing child like that.

When he finished his snack, he was immediately put back to work; changing his outfit and hairstyle for the next few frames, then repeating the process until all was said and done.

Little did he know then that this would slowly, but surely, envelope his entire life for awhile. That, and well, he’ll now forever begin to expect getting rewards for accomplishing small tasks.

SCENE II. SEOUL, KR — 2012, Q1. THE YOO RESIDENCE.

“Hello, Mrs. Yeo? Hi, yes, I’m glad you answered! This is Kang Hyojung. I was who spoke to you a few days ago about representing a company that’s interested in training your son.” She recalls it, but also remembers being suspicious of the offer at the time. This supposed “casting agent” wasn’t exactly eager to share what company they were working for, so all in all, it felt like a total scam. Though, after a somewhat long conversation on the phone, she agreed to meet up with them and the whole casting committee at an address she didn’t at all recognize. Fortunately, it was in Gangnam, so felt a little more promising. When the call ended, she immediately went over to Rioh’s bedroom and knocked on the door; allowing herself in after a few seconds.

“Do you remember that lady who talked to us at the restaurant?” She asked, slightly shocked as to how her child kept getting this recognition. It isn’t like she and her husband were putting him on display by taking him to auditions or casting calls. Sure, he’s taken part in a few small-scale commercials and photo-spreads—mostly in catalogues—but after awhile, he stopped focusing on shoots in exchange for going to school and making friends. He doesn’t truly realize that he’s been “marketable” since birth, and while he’s lucky to possess such a rare quality, it’s one he’s not very comfortable with—even at just ten years-old.

At the question, he nods his head; unsure of what’s about to be said next.

“Well, she called us like she said she would and she wants to meet with you on Saturday. Is that something that you’d want to do? I told her we’d go, but if you don’t want to, I can call back and tell her never-mind.”

What’s sad is, even at such a young age, he knows the situation that his family’s in. Mom’s a waitress, dad’s a butler at a wealthier person’s estate, and most of the time, he doesn’t see him often. Neither of them pull in enough cash to support their lifestyle, especially since Rioh’s the youngest child out of five children. Putting enough food on the table has never been an easy feat for the Yoo household. So, even though he’s not exactly invested in continuing his ever-blossoming career as a child model, he knows it could help his parents out.

Even though he’s the youngest, he still feels the need to contribute.

“Yeah, I’ll go! Hopefully it’s somewhere cool and not something weird,” he added simply; his tone drenched in optimism despite his mind not being on the same page.

SCENE III. SEOUL, KR — 2014, Q3. BC ENTERTAINMENT HQ.

He watches with wide eyes as some of the older trainees practice; the fierce gaze in their eyes containing a fire that he’s never felt before. The way they move is so striking and strong, and it isn’t only impressive that they’ve been able to work hard to hone their skills, but he can’t help but find himself as feeling almost… “attracted” to them without realizing it. Not only is he drawn to the art of their dancing and singing, but also, to how all of them look, as well.

It’s a confusing feeling to him… especially since he’s always been told he’d feel this way about girls as he gets older.

However, when the others slowly begin to leave the rehearsal space, he enters; awaiting for his acting instructor and the few other kids in his division to show up. It’s then when he finds the strength to bravely approach the last of the idol hopefuls still in the room; his shyness slowly creeping over him despite the complete want to speak to him. After a few seconds, though, he’s able to piece together a sentence that’s coherent enough to make sense. He hopes so, at least.

“Hey! Uh, you look really cool when you dance.” He starts, very obviously a little nervous. “How do you do that one move in the middle of the song? The one where you’re kinda jumpin’ but like spinnin’ at the same time?” It’s then when he attempts it and near about falls, but luckily, he’s able to just barely save himself from tumbling over. His face burns red with a blush, but his senior seems to find it endearing rather than annoying.

“Want me to show you?”

Without hesitation, Rioh nods his head; excited enough that his whole body starts to bounce beyond his control. Even though he was approaching adolescence, there was still a glimmer of youthful innocence in his eyes—one that he’d—amazingly—be able to clutch onto even as he ages. It’s that vibe alone that’s carried him this far, even if he doesn’t understand it fully yet.

Carefully, he watches how the dramatically taller male performs the motions, listening intently to his instructions all the while. After a few terrible attempts of his own, he finally does it… mostly. It’s a feeling of accomplishment that he’s not felt while studying acting for dramas and modeling for cameras, and when this mini dance lesson passes him by, he can’t help but feel a bit sad.

The disappointment only continues when his instructor arrives and hands him a script. A deep sigh follows suit, but he does what he’s told… just like he always does.

SCENE IV. SEOUL, KR — 2019, Q4. MOM’s CAR, BCE HQ.

A few notes from the last few years.

Rioh was too young for CHARM when they debuted in 2015.

He eventually transferred to idol training at the age of thirteen.

There, he discovered a true passion for singing and dancing.

He worked so fucking hard; he almost had no social life.

Hard work and passion wouldn’t pay off like he thought they would.

“It’s not an easy decision, but we’ve decided to put our focus into a new girl group, and instead of keeping you in our company, we would rather you try out for other agencies who are actively looking to create a boy group.” Their voice was warm, but that didn’t mean the letdown was any easier to process. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of chills race through him; his eyes swelling with tears as his heart pounded a mile a millisecond. It was clear that he was emotional, but he stood up to bow instead; nodding his head as he suppressed his emotions. That said, they all rained down on him the instant he got back into his mother’s car.

“What’s wrong? What happened?!” She was shocked, but when the situation was explained, she understood a little better; undoing her seatbelt so she could lean over to hold him easier.

“Sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some, but what’s important is that you don’t stop fighting for it—especially if it’s something that you really, really want.”

“B-But, what about you and dad? What’re you gonna do now that you can’t work anymore? I want to help, but now it feels like I can’t do anything…”

His words took her aback. She hadn’t realized that her children knew so much about the stress she’s been under lately. Due to an injury, she had to stop waiting tables, and sadly, she’s found it hard to find another job. Laughing softly, she shook her head back and forth; squeezing onto his shoulders a little firmer. “Yes, I’ve been stressed… and yes, I’ve been worried about finding something new to do, but listen to me: you don’t have to worry about me, okay? I promise that I have things together, and I promise that I’ll be fine.” Her words were matter-of-fact, and though he heard them loud and clear, they didn’t quite sink in. Though, they were enough to calm him down momentarily. At the end of the day, he was still disappointed—even if it was mostly in himself.

“I love you, mom… I promise I’ll try harder.”

SCENE V. SEOUL, KR — 2020, Q4. UNDISCLOSED STUDIO.

“Is it just me or is Yoo Rioh really fucking obnoxious?” “Ugh, he always pushes his way to the front and center…” “In my opinion, Rioh doesn’t even compete with many of us.” “I feel like people only like him because he’s handsome.”

He couldn’t hear them all of the time, but he somehow had a hunch that many of the other trainees didn’t like him. Did he sometimes read as desperate for attention? Yes. Did he have little tantrums off-screen if he wasn’t getting enough camera time? One hundred percent. The viewers and some of the producers never saw it, but his fellow competitors witnessed it full force. All of them were in the same boat, and the tension was high, so it was only natural that there would be stupid disagreements, petty anger, and unnecessary drama. How unfortunate.

There’s no excuse for his immature behavior, but he’d argue that his passion is just… stronger than the others. He’s been training for a whopping eight years and he’s only eighteen years old. That’s nearly half of his life. To him, there’s almost no comparison between he and the others. Many of them were older than him, but he’d still consider himself their sunbae. So, he had no idea why he wasn’t being respected for his hard work and talent. His childish ways didn’t make things any better, though, so he wasn’t totally blameless. That, and well, a lot of the chatter that was being thrown around about him was fairly accurate. Again, how fucking unfortunate.

The upside to all of this? The general public that tuned in seemed to fall head over heels in love with him. Whenever he was brave (and lucky) enough to read online comments during filming, he found that many of them were positive. Lots of viewers said he gave off mischievous “little brother” vibes and many claimed that he’d be the perfect maknae if he was in the top five.

At this point, he decided to put more of his focus on appeasing his future fans, so no matter how competitive and annoying he was on the show, he was focused so much on winning that he stopped caring entirely how the others treated him. He made a few friends—some of them he’d later debut with—and he wasn’t particularly hated by all forty-nine other guys, but his thirst for notoriety was truly off-putting to a lot of people. So, when he ended the competition with a metaphoric silver medal in second place, there were plenty of eye-rolls and scoffs to go around.

He tried his best not to let everyone else rain on his parade, though.

SCENE VI. SEOUL, KR — 2021, Q1. GOLD STAR MEDIA HQ.

He reads over his contracts with a lawyer that his father’s employer recommended, making sure that he wasn’t signing onto anything that would negatively compromise him in anyway. As far as he was aware, things looked good enough for him to sign his name on the dotted line, so when the time came, he did just that—overjoyed that his time spent training was finally rewarded with a little recognition.

Took long enough.

“Guys… we’re finally getting everything we ever wanted!” He speaks aloud to his members, the smile on his face genuine. “Like, can you believe that we’re actually gonna be the next big thing?!” His giddiness was infectious, but also a lot to handle. He can’t help it—he’s pumped.

Rioh just hopes his assumptions don’t bite him in the ass, though. The last thing he needs is to jinx the golden opportunity that’s been bestowed upon him by making hasty predictions.

In the end though, his marketability is largely what he got him where he is today. While he can keep up with his seniors as far as singing and dancing are concerned, he still has a long way to go if he plans on being as successful as some of his company’s other artists. He’s young, he’s dumb, but he’s learning—that’s gotta count for something, right?

His career is just beginning, though, so let’s hope he’s able to make it work.

[kashmiresims]

Strike of Melancholy

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What was the best feeling in the world? To Orion, it was to not be burdened by anxiety—having no worries or thoughts that could make him feel bad—and to be held by someone who loved him. His nerves were calm, the smell of fresh coffee grounds permeated the room, but that comfortable warmth that had been at his back all night was absent. They were gone. That fact hit his consciousness, rippled through him, and caused his eyes to snap open. His nerves were no longer relaxed. A wave of teal and orange patterns blurred together as his vision focused on the room that he was in. He hadn't noticed how bright the colors were when he entered the night before when it had been dark. He pulled himself up and crossed his legs against the cooler air outside the bed covers that he had tangled himself up in. Then came that familiar, awful hitch of panic in his chest followed closely by an onset of numbness in his limbs. He set his head in his hand, closed his eyes, and held completely still, willing his body to not tremble as his breathing began to rapidly accelerate. He tried to focus on something, anything other than the current whirlwind of thoughts. Cypress always told Orion hum his favorite song in these instances but it felt like his voice was trapped in a painful vice and he couldn't make a sound. Orion wished he had taken a Tranqulicis before he fallen asleep but had been a bit too distracted to remember. He finally caught the reins of his mind and instead controlled them into thinking of the lyrics of the song he had been writing, the one he had sung in front of Cypress at the radio station. “I never knew what love was until I met you. So, thank you for helping me discover what I felt was true.” After a few minutes of reciting the words in his head, his quick exhales subsided and his legs could move again. He opened his eyes and looked straight to the top of the dresser in the room where many bottles of Tranquilicis sat. Wasting no more time, he got up and plucked out two pills, tilted his head, and threw them to the back of his mouth and swallowed dry.

He followed the scent of coffee out of the bedroom and to the kitchen to find that Cain had made a fresh pot. "Hey," Orion greeted him with a shaky smile. He was so relieved that Cain was still here. Logically, it made the most sense—why would Cain up and leave his own place? However, Orion always had a worry at the back of his mind that Cain would all but disappear like he had in the past, and then not contact Orion for weeks. It made Orion feel clingy to want to know where Cain was all the time and he knew he shouldn't worry but couldn't help to. "Mornin' Star Boy," Cain answered in a rough voice, still unused and throaty sounding. He didn't turn to look at Orion but poured himself a cup, "You want any?"

"No thanks," Orion said and pulled out one of the chairs from the small table to sit. Cain liked to drink his coffee black. Orion preferred a handful of sugar and cream in his. Nick liked to joke about it by asking how much coffee Orion would like with his cream and sugar when they went to get any between classes. Orion glanced around the kitchen and the connecting living room. It all was so colorful—following the same scheme he had seen in the bedroom. Cain had moved places in the months between the last time Orion had been with him. Usually Cain opted to crash in Orion's room but something last night prompted Cain to ask Orion over. Of course, Orion was curious to know what that reason was, but knew pressing Cain for answers would make him irritable. "I didn't know you had such a love for teal and orange," Orion mentioned. Cain took a seat while sipping on his coffee and shook his head; he pointed to the walls, "I'm sub-leasing from an art student who is doing a semester abroad. This is all her doing." "I see." Cain raised a thick brow and seemed to study Orion as he sat there. It made Orion self-conscious, but luckily the drugs had kicked in and his anxiety was dissipating. "What's wrong?" Cain asked. Orion slumped forward and held his chin in his hand, "I had an anxiety attack after I woke up." "Didn't you take Tranqulicis?" "I forgot to before going to bed, it's my own fault," Orion lamented, his nerves weren't tangled anymore but he still felt...sad. He shouldn't have. Last night was great, and something he had been hoping for—to be alone with Cain with no distractions for once. He didn't know why he felt this way.

Orion's stomach made an audible grumble just then. Maybe he was just hungry. "Sorry, I don't have much food here. I need to go grocery shopping," Cain said at hearing the discontented noise. Orion's head shot up from his hand with a sudden eagerness, "We could go get brunch somewhere! There's a boxcar café next to the quad that does the best omlette—" "Actually, I need to go downtown today to run some errands. You wanna go get something to eat on the way?" Orion was momentarily shocked that Cain was offering Orion a chance to tag along. He had to jump start his train of thought again to think about it, "There's that Deli by the bay that has pretty food. Want to hit that up?" Cain considered and then nodded, "Yeah, sounds good.” That heavy sense of melancholy Orion felt just a moment before lifted, as if it were a cloud and the sun had just broken through. Errands were a mundane task but yet the offer to join him gave Orion a hint of hope that maybe he and Cain could ever be something more than just each other's go-to hook up. After finishing his mug of coffee, Cain set it in the sink without bothering to wash it, just like the empty bottles of beer stacked up near it that he was meaning to recycle that they had consumed last night. Cain was usually a very easygoing persona, independent, chill—last night Orion could tell he'd been shaken by something. Cain was worried. Whether it was by the late hour he'd called Orion, the uneasy quietness between them before they'd cracked open the six pack, or the rush of physicality then ensued—it wasn't the normal experience with Cain. Orion followed Cain back into the bedroom. His clothes had been discarded at the foot of the bed and he supposed he should get dressed if they were going to go out. Cain approached the dresser to look through a pile of his shirts to find something to wear. There was a mirror on the wall above the dresser and through the reflection, Orion could see Cain frowning—deep in thought. He felt compelled to comfort Cain and so approached from behind, slid his arms around Cain's torso and nuzzled the back of his neck. "Are you okay?" "What makes you think something is wrong?" Cain asked, looking up sharply and meeting Orion's eyes in the reflection of the mirror. Orion hated prying, but he also hated not knowing what was going on with those he cared about, especially if they were suffering in some way. Cain never explained himself, and it was frustrating to care about someone when they didn't open up. Orion lowered his gaze and focused on where he had just nuzzled, seeing a dark spot on Cain's skin he hadn't noticed last night. It looked like the start of a bruise. "Where'd you get this?" he brushed his fingers over the mark and Cain reached up and snatched his hand in his quite abruptly. "Don't worry about it," Cain replied flatly, then he realized his mistake—because Orion worried about everything it seemed. His tone softened a bit, "It's nothing." Orion sighed and laid his head onto Cain's shoulder. He had to keep reminding himself that Cain wasn't his boyfriend, so he had no business worrying over Cain like this. But it was hard. He felt Cain let go of his hand and it was left resting at his collarbone, though soon enough he used it to take a bottle of Tranqulicis Cain was holding out to him meaning for him to have it. Cain made a half smile, trying to reassure Orion, "Let's get dressed and get some grub."

They took the bus line to downtown Memosa Bay. By the time they were seated at the delicatessen, Orion’s stomach was full on growling for food. They wasted no time in ordering some. Soon enough their meals were delivered and they dug in with eager appetites. “So, how did you do on that midterm? Did you ever get your grade posted?” Cain asked between spoonfuls of soup. Orion was in mid-bite of his burger but stopped and smiled, touched that Cain would have remembered or even cared about it. “I got a ninety-five percent!” he felt a bit foolish for worrying so much about it before. He had done an ungodly amount of studying for it, sacrificing so many hours of sleep. “That’s good. Your G.P.A is doing much better than mine I’m afraid.” “What happened? Are you skipping classes again?” Orion gave a slight frown and made to take a drink before eating more of his food. He and Cain had shared business courses over the last two years and sometimes Cain didn’t show up to class. Orion would usually provide him with the notes he’d missed from the lectures.

“I missed my midterm,” Cain explained nonchalantly. “Are you on probation?” Orion’s eyes widened in worried surprise and he nearly choked as he took another bite of his burger. Cain waved his hand outward as if not to worry, “Technically, yes, but I’ll just ace the final and be fine again.” Orion wouldn’t be able to live as Cain did—to just skip a midterm and decide to get a hundred percent on the final like it was nothing. Cain’s confidence was infinite and borderline terrifying. “Relax, you look like you’re going to have another anxiety attack,” Cain said and Orion realized he had been struck momentarily immobile at the news. He willed his hands to lift his burger to his mouth so he could finish it. It was a bummer that Cain had failed his midterm and Orion wondered what was so important for Cain to have skipped it without a second thought. 

They finished their meal; Cain offered to pay, but Orion insisted he would take the bill since he suggested the place to eat. They emerged downtown, and Cain led the way down the sidewalk toward the business district. Orion’s family lived in Memosa Bay and he loved the tall buildings. He craned his head back to look at the skyscrapers’ vertical rise into the clouds, in comparison it made him feel like he was at the bottom of an urban canyon. The autumn wind had picked up and he was glad he was wearing a sweater. Suddenly he felt Cain take his hand and his attention snapped back to the ground. He thought maybe Cain was guiding him another direction and he hadn’t been paying enough attention to have followed but to his surprise, Cain was holding his hand...just to hold it. Orion felt that same warm feeling from earlier and clasped Cain’s hand tighter with his own. This is what he imagined he felt it would be like to have a boyfriend—someone to take walks with and run errands with—dull daily things that were made so much better by having someone there to enjoy it with. They walked a few more blocks before Orion began to wonder what errands Cain needed to do. If it was groceries, they were going in the entirely opposite direction of the nearest grocery store. Cain stopped them in front of an older brick building that had marks of graffiti on it. He abruptly pulled Orion close and gave him a long kiss. The move took Orion by surprise and he was still blinking in confusion when Cain pulled away and said “Hey, why don’t you go back to my place and I’ll catch up later?” 

“What about your errands?” “You wouldn’t want to waste your day off with them, I’ll handle it,” Cain said with in a light, casual tone but look in his eyes was hard. His suggestion was a request. A strike of melancholy hit Orion in the chest. So this day wasn’t what he hoped it was, and Cain still refused to let Orion into his life. Orion nodded apprehensively and made to go back to the bus stop, “Yeah, see you later.” He hoped it was true and this wasn’t one of those times ‘later’ would be in a few months. Hopefully, Cain wouldn’t suddenly be ‘too busy’ to reply to Orion’s texts, hopefully Orion could cope when his Tranquilicis stash had run out, because he had a feeling his anxious nerves couldn’t handle another ghosting episode from Cain. He got a block away before turning to look back at his wayward lover, hopefully not for the last time, but was startled to see Cain wasn’t in sight anymore. Orion frowned and started walking in the opposite direction, back to where he had been. He stopped short of the alleyway, hearing voices floating outward from it. Cain’s was recognizable but the other sounded feminine...it was a woman! “I’m not asking for much, it’s one bottle,” the woman’s voice seemed displeased, cracking with hoarseness. He heard the click of a lighter follow her statement. “Five-hundred.” “You’re out of your mind,” she snapped. “Look, you can only get it from the lab right now and I'm risking my neck here, it’s not approved by the regional drug association, and it can have some really adverse affects when mixed with alcohol.” “I’m counting on that,” the woman replied chillingly and then seemed to sigh, “Knock it down to three hundred and I’ll give you two bottles of that anxiety med you are always happy to have.” 

Orion felt dread rise in him at what he was hearing. Hoping this was all some misunderstanding and it couldn't be what it clearly sounded like. “Deal. Also I’m starting up a little underground venture you might be interested in. Know any gamblers who like to take risks?” Orion couldn’t take it anymore, he swallowed a breath and and quickly peeked around the corner into the alley to see the woman—who looked to be of a mature age—handing a wad of money to Cain as he exchanged it with a bottle of pills. It was a different type of bottle than what Tranqulicis came in. No matter, the scene was shocking. The woman scoffed, seeming slightly amused. “I can get you a hook up to some high rollers but I want a discount on all future transactions. It’s not easy swiping my husband’s meds.” “Sure thing, Marge. If you can get some of your compadres in Pandora up here to see what kind of betting opportunities await, I’ll give you whatever discounts you want.”

Orion nearly threw his back against the brick exterior, out of sight before Cain saw him eavesdropping; his nerves were trying to rise to alarm but the effects of Tranquilicis were thankfully keeping them at bay as well as the inevitable anxiety attack after witnessing such a scene. Cain was dealing. How long had this been going on? Why was he talking about gambling? Orion began walking briskly toward the nearest bus stop in a state of disbelief. Orion would ask Cain directly but he always had the fear that too many questions would spook Cain into another long absence. He didn’t know what to do. If he brought it up, Cain would know he’d been prying into his private, illegal affairs. If he didn’t the truth would eat him alive. He finally made it to the bus stop and he didn’t remember the time in between leaving the alleyway and arriving here. Time was a blur, and he felt his life was a tangle of strings. Couldn’t he for once, just have them laid straight and orderly to be at ease? He fumbled the bottle of Tranquilicis out of his pocket that Cain had given him earlier that morning and swallowed two more—just in case this latest development sent him over the edge. He closed his eyes and held his head in hand so he could think. He couldn’t afford to be a helpless ball of nerves in public. He wished Cypress were there at that moment. Cypress may have thought Cain was a low life but at least he listened. “I never knew what love was until I met you. So, thank you for helping me discover what I felt was true.” The lyrics calmed him at first—however, he wasn’t exactly imagining them this time in his head. He opened his eyes with a new sense of dread. It was...it was being played over the speakers in the bus stop! How? Cypress. Cypress must have recorded the song when Orion performed it at the Radio Station last week. He had aired it live, which he didn’t have permission to do and still miffed Orion a bit thinking of it—but he also didn’t have permission to record it either. Orion’s emotions caught in his throat and the sense of melancholy deepend, engulfed him even, as he realized that those he cared about were no longer a bit trustworthy.

[5tornhomos]

🔮 share your natal chart tag game 🔮

I was tagged by @adoredontour! Thank you my friend! Tag games like this are fun.

Rules: go to this website and generate your natal chart  if you can (you’ll need a place of birth + time of birth). report the results for your Sun, Moon and Ascendant, and bold the statements that apply to you.

I’m tagging @harryeatmyass @jimmytfallon @jiggin-with-niall @goingstronglwt @fightsharry 

No pressure to do this! But also if I didn’t tag you feel free to participate!

The Sun is in Taurus

There is something very solid about Taurus natives, no matter what the rest of their charts say about them. Though they are dependable most of the time, this generally shows itself more in habit than in outright helpfulness. Taurus natives are sensual folk--and this includes sex, but extends to pleasures in all areas: they delight in the sensual pleasures of food, a comfortable blanket, a richly colored aquarium to look at, the smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos, and so forth. Some might even say they live through their senses more than most. When Taurus natives work, they work hard. They do it with a steadiness that may rarely be considered quick--rather it's a dependable, plodding, and steady effort that has its payoffs. Security is immensely important to Taurus--some of them actively seek wealth, while others are content to be "comfortable". The Taurus definition of "comfortable" may not be exactly the same as the rest of the signs, but comfort is definitely a driving force. Although hard-working, their fixed and comfort-loving nature sometimes makes them appear lazy. This is only because they separate work and leisure so well. When they work, they work hard, and when they play, they don't really "play" as such...they relax. A Solar Taurus who has kicked his or her feet up is rooted there--you'd be hard-pressed to get them to move. On a mental level, you'll likely have the same problem. Taureans stick with things and ideas, and therein lies one of the reasons why they are known for their stubbornness. Taurus is a fixed sign, and they have a fair measure of tradition and steadiness in their make-up that keeps them rooted. The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. Taurus likes to own things (and sometimes people). A nice home, a piece of land (this can be modest), a paid-off car, that aquarium mentioned earlier, a couple pets, maybe a solid business...In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that may be considered jealousy by some, but there is actually quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous. Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs--it adds to their sense of security. Short description: She is strong-willed. She has charm, and she is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things in life. Appreciates the Arts. Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She can be materialistic.

The Moon is in Sagittarius

More than anything, Lunar Sagittarians have a need for personal freedom and space. They are extraordinarily happy and easygoing folk, as long as they don't feel caged in or cooped up. Lunar Sagittarians have a simultaneous need for activity. Meeting new people, going out in the world, and travel are all important to their sense of well-being. They love open spaces, and, in their homes, a roomy and bright environment. There's a bit of a teacher in Moon in Sagittarius, and definitely a helpful spirit. They easily forget appointments and the like, and some are even considered irresponsible. However, it is hard to stay angry at a Lunar Sagittarian! They are so cheerful and upbeat, and their optimism is catchy. Many people with this position are outdoorsy types. At the very least, they have a great love for friendly competition. When the going gets tough, these people run away. They don't like to be caught up in routine for too long, and they simply need to escape. There's a blind faith in Lunar Sagittarians that is admirable. They simply believe that everything will work out. Not much for making detailed plans, people with Moon in Sagittarius prefer to wing it. They're very adaptable and generally on the go. Short description: May like to throw herself into the unknown and into adventure; she is agile, tough, and enthusiastic. Attracted to long voyages, to discovering the unknown. Potential issues: may take great risks in throwing herself into the unknown and into adventure. Audacious, bold, and rebellious. Unable to stay in one place, always ready to risk everything to achieve her goal.

Ascendant is Taurus

Slow, steady, and capable are adjectives that we can safely attach to individuals born with a Taurus Ascendant. These natives have tremendous stamina and staying power. They're often quite loyal to those they care about. Although they generally don't come on strong, they have personal presence; and they fairly radiate stability. The sign on the Ascendant generally reveals how people start anything new. Taurus, by nature, is resistant to change. It can be difficult to sway Taurus rising natives--they're often rather stubborn and fixed in their ways. Their first responses are to feel things out, not in the way a Pisces might attune to their environment, but in the realm of the five senses. They have well-developed sense of smell and touch, and respond to the material world. Theirs is a practical approach to life. Security is one of their foremost considerations before undertaking anything new. Taurus rising natives are often quite cautious and careful. With a fixed sign on the Ascendant, they are not known for their flexibility. Rather, they possess determined single-mindedness. More than most, Taurus rising prefers the "good things" in life. Self-indulgence can be a weakness for many with this Ascendant. Often collectors in some way, Taurus rising natives place a lot of value on their material possessions. Taurus rising individuals prefer to dress in quality clothes with a comfortable feel to them. They are rarely ostentatious in their presentation. Many have strong and sturdy physiques. Often rather possessive in partnership, these natives won't easily break up their relationships. Although they are not particularly jealous, they view their partners as their personal property. Intensity and loyalty are especially important to Taurus rising natives. These are highly sensual people who prefer the comforts that a one-to-one, stable partnership offers. Although Taurus rising individuals value harmony and calm, their partnerships may be on the passionate side. Taurus rising natives are often very comforting to be around. They have a stability about them that is soothing, and an inner harmony that is attractive.

[dreamsofpilots]

A Boy and a Flower

Josh Dun x Reader fic.

I had the idea for this with the intention of turning it into something happy…and now this…oops. 

Might make it a series, don’t know how many parts yet. Enjoy. 

Warnings: Panic attacks, anxiety, little bit of depression. 

There are happy bits, I promise. I’m not sure about it so let me know what you think! 

My pulse thrummed in my ears. 

Ba bum

Ba bum

I couldn’t seem to catch my breath, my lungs straining with the effort. The world tilted and I had to catch myself against the wall.

Ba bum

I bent over, placing my hands on my knees while trying to take deep breaths. 

“I have to get out of here.” Lifting my head I glanced around. The throng of people rushing around me was suffocating. Everything was just a little too bright and just a little too loud. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, I was supposed to have control of this. I hadn’t had an episode in months, and yet here I was, fire in my lungs and cold sweat on my skin. 

I sprinted from the academic building, dodging strange glances and backpack wearing bodies. 

Ba bum

Clamping my jaw down tight, unwilling to let the nausea take over, I stumbled through campus, blind as to what my direction was. A few passerby’s asked after my well-being, clearly reading the distress on my face, but I shrank away from them, the human contact making my panic worse. 

When I finally found a quiet place with a lack of people, I found that I was in the botanical gardens. The blooms were full and dewy, reaching for the midmorning sun. I planted myself next to a bed of pink flowers, not sure what kind they were, and forced myself to breath. In and out, in and out. I reminded myself of the advice my therapist had given me, trying to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones, all the while taking deep breaths. 

I wasn’t sure what had caused this one. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or the stress of midterm exams coming up. I hadn’t been eating properly lately, maybe that was it. Maybe I was dehydrated. I wasn’t really sure, but then again, I never really was in this situation. Sometimes they just happened, coming over me like a sudden storm. 

My pulse began to slow as I sat there with my face cupped in my hands. Breathing became easier, the nausea subsided. When I felt as if the worst of it was over, I allowed myself to take in my surroundings. I had rushed into the gardens without taking anything in. The place was vibrant with color and the perfumed air was sweet and inviting. How had I managed to go through half the school year without meandering through?  It was full and lush and absolutely stunning. The kind of garden that would bring about whimsical daydreams. 

Cobblestoned paths traversed lazily through the oasis. Small tufts of grass poking up between the stones waved hello. I wandered along, taking in the scenery, glad that I could finally breathe deeply. I allowed myself to run my hand along the blooms as I walked, the dew from their morning watering wetting my fingers. 

When I stopped to sniff a rose, I became aware of the sound of rhythmic beating. Confused, I followed my ears to the sound, going deeper into the maze of flowers by doing so. 

Turning a corner by a patch of sunflowers, I saw a guy sitting on a wooden box, slapping his palms and tapping his fingers against the sides, creating a deep and rhythmic beat. I wasn’t entirely surprised to see him, with his piercings and tattoos, this school was full of artists and creative types, but I did find it a little strange that he was playing his box-drum-thing in the middle of a garden. 

He didn’t notice me at first, not glancing up until I was standing in front of him. He was lost in his music, bouncing his legs and head along with it. Watching him was mesmerizing. He gave off such a happy energy while he drummed that it made me want to move too. So, while he continued playing, I began to dance. 

I had come to this school as a dance major, finding that I was able to forget about everything else when I focused on my fluid movements. Dancing was an escape, a vacation from the everyday. Like going south for the winter. I was no longer the timid anxious girl chilled to the bone with fear. Instead, I was warm beaches and lazy waves. I was a gentle breeze or a bubbling brook. Dancing brought out my true self, the person that I was when I wasn’t so insecure. 

The colorful boy continued to drum, keeping me in time while he watched me. He didn’t seem to mind me joining him, and I was grateful for a reason to dance. 

It felt good to move my limbs, shrugging off the tightness that had occurred during my attack. I twirled and leapt and glided in front of him, the yellow from the sunflowers filling my vision, the beat of his drum resounding in my ears. A light feeling in my chest made me feel like I could take flight. A fairy in a garden of sunshine.  

When my muscles began to burn, and sweat slicked my skin, and my heart was filled with joy, the boy brought the song to an end. 

I posed, completing my dance, panting, but smiling a mile wide. When I turned to look at him, a huge grin was spread across his face, mirroring mine. “That was amazing,” was all he said. 

“Thank you.” I took a few more gulps of air. “I really needed that. I’m glad I heard you drumming.” 

He stood from his box, lifting his backwards facing cap for a moment to run a hand through his hair. My eyes widened at the sight of the brightly colored strands, but I didn’t comment on it. The color suited him somehow. He was as unique as the flowers that surrounded us.  

“Yeah I normally try and find places away from people so that my playing doesn’t disturb their class or their studying. Plus I really like flowers, so I tend to come here.” He waved a hand, acknowledging their surroundings. 

 I liked that he wasn’t afraid to admit that he enjoyed flowers, secure in his masculinity. Why shouldn’t boys like flowers? “This is my first time here actually. I just needed to get away and I somehow ended up here.” 

“Oh, are you alright?” his voice full of concern. 

I turned to him in surprise, “What?”

“Are you okay? You said you needed to get away, and when I feel like that…” he trailed off. 

“Oh..” I shuffled nervously, “Yeah, I’m alright. I managed.”

He gave me a tight lipped smile and a sympathetic look. He knew what I was talking about.

I held my hand out towards him, wanting to change the subject, “I’m Y/N.”

“Josh,” he said, grasping my hand. His hand was warm and large, the hint of callouses scratched against my skin. They must have formed from practicing his art. 

“Nice to meet you, Josh. I like your box-drum. It sounded really nice.” 

He chortled, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, displaying the colorful tattoos along his arm. “Hey thanks. It’s a cajon. Easier than carrying a kit around.” He punctuated that with another small laugh.  

“I can imagine,” I giggled. Josh looked at me then, his hooded brown eyes alight with something I couldn’t quite place. Excitement maybe? The rush from playing still running through him? I smiled back at him with my own version of excitement. 

“Hey, you’re a really great dancer.” Josh told me with a blush. 

“Oh, thank you,” I could feel my own cheeks beginning to burn. “I’m sorry for barging in on your little pow wow for one, there.”

Josh shook his head, “Oh, no don’t worry. I mean, that’s what music is for right? For people to feel something?”  

I nodded in agreement. I liked Josh, he seemed easygoing and relatable. Not to mention, he was easy on the eyes. 

“Well, I better get to class.” I stated abruptly, feeling suddenly nervous. “I’ve probably missed some of it already…” I didn’t feel like bringing up my incident, knowing that was the reason that I was late. He seemed to be aware of it anyway.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” he nodded. “Thanks for the dance session. I’ll see you around?”

“Sure,” I agreed, giving him a little wave goodbye.

I headed to the academic buildings after finding my way out of the garden, feeling more comfortable that I had when I entered. 

The next couple of days were uneventful. I slipped into my easy routine of classes, eating, and sleeping. I kept to myself mostly, finding it hard to open up to my peers. There were times when I saw Josh while walking around campus. He was always with a group of guys, either skateboarding or playing music together. Sometimes I saw him with just one other guy who had short brown hair and black band tattoos on his arm. They seemed to spend the most time together. It must be nice, having a best friend. 

Whenever I saw Josh, I would wave, and he would always wave and give me a huge smile back. His buddies would laugh and jostle him around when they saw the interaction. I didn’t really know why.

I passed my dancing midterms, the teacher telling me that I was one of her top students. When I called my mom about it, she showered me with support to the point that I was drunk on happiness. But after I hung up, the feeling faded and I began to instead feel gloomy, not having anyone else to share my accomplishment with. I wondered that, if I told Josh about it, he would get as excited as I had been. 

My gloom seemed to settle in more and more as the days dragged by. Dancing didn’t even seem to hold the same amount of appeal. I wondered what was wrong with me, but my therapist just suggested that I try and make some friends. Get out more. Try. The thought terrified me. How do you just walk up to people and create a friendship? Is that how people do it? “Hey I’m so and so, let’s be friends?” “Oh sweet, come sit new buddy.”

I don’t think so. 

So instead, I let myself slip further and further into this isolation until it all bubbled up again in another attack. 

I had been fine. I was just walking to dance class, like I do every day. But then I started to notice all the happy faces, all the friends that laughed and walked together, and I started getting hot, my stomach twisting into knots. I tried to just breathe, to calm down, but I couldn’t. So I ran. 

Ba bum

Unlike last time though, I had a destination in mind.