#anyway. it’s been hard. it was a little sudden and honestly inconvenient timing lmao. I just really hope she’s okay

[buyingaradspaceship]

silly little vent time ig my depersonalisation and derealisation has gotten more distressing, rapidly, I don’t perceive myself. I want to have a handle on my gender so I can cut and dye my hair tomorrow or next week but I’m blank in a horror-esque way. I’m a shell. time is floating by me like I’m a lamb stranded in a field of fog. I’m confused and distressed and I barely feel conscious. like I’m waiting for something to click. anyway. this is hard

[illfoandillfie]

Don’t Talk To Me About Love

Day number 4 of the Platonically themed event! This is another idea thats sort of been bouncing around my head since I posted Platonically. In the months since then I’ve started and stopped this blurb about 60 times - at one point I intended it as a sequel but then ended up absorbing part of the plot into PNDDAOF. But here we are. It is somewhat complete and I’m much happier with it now then I was before. 

Yet again, this blurb is inspired by a song - Don’t Talk To Me About Love by Altered Images (less the lyrics and more just the title but it’s a bop so like check it out anyway lmao) 

Words: 2,150

Warnings: It’s about the Communication. There’s talk of an argument but nothing specific and honestly this is mostly just about the two of them Dealing with something out of the ordinary. 

Every morning with Ben follows the same pattern. No matter who wakes first, no matter how long it takes you to get out of bed, Ben will greet you with a kiss on the cheek. It’s a litmus test of your disposition and a lesson hard learnt. Most days you’ll lean into him, wrap your arms around him, press your lips to his, snuggle back into his embrace, and he knows that it means you’ll be okay with the actions that convince others you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. But every so often it’s different. Those days, what he has come to call your no romo days, his cheek kiss will be returned but you’ll pull back before he can sweep you into something deeper, a sign that you don’t have the patience or energy or whatever it usually takes, to deal with romance. Those days are few and far between, mostly occurring months apart, seemingly at random. But because of that it took quite some time before you got the hang of dealing with them as partners. On your own it had been easier to avoid romantic expressions, but with Ben it was harder to manage.  

The first time it happened after you’d started the QPR, you tried to push through, tried to ignore the tension you felt as he unexpectedly kissed you, his hands pulling you into him. There was a sudden urge to run away, your blood running cold, and Ben must have sensed that something was off. He was always observant where you were concerned. When he asked if something was wrong you pretended there wasn’t but he kept badgering you until you told him what was up. Unfortunately you sort of bit his head off, frustrated by the constant questions. You immediately regretted your tone and choice of words but the damage was done, Ben’s expression one of hurt and confusion. Before you could try to explain better he’d left the room. He gave you space for the rest of the day, barely crossing your path at all, but it was too much space, an overcorrection. And that made you mad more than anything else. After all you’d warned him that this happened sometimes, that you had days where you were repulsed by the thought of anything romantic, completely turned off by actions that could be read as such. How dare he be hurt by it, as if you were an inconvenience he had to endure. He was the one who suggested you do the QPR thing in the first place, why did he suddenly think it only included the times you were acting closest to a regular girlfriend. At that point you hadn’t yet moved into his house so you left and slept in your own bed that night, sick with worry that you’d ruined everything with Ben, that you’d wake up in the morning to find not only your QPR broken but that your best friend wouldn’t want anything more to do with you at all. You felt stupid to have thought that a QPR could work, that you could ever fit anywhere. Clearly you were meant to be alone.  

But the next morning brought rational thought and rational conversation as well as a higher tolerance for romance. Ben called to make sure you were okay, confessing to a fairly sleepless night spent worrying if you'd got home safe and feeling bad about how you’d left. But you could hear his smile when you invited him over to talk about it, could practically see it in your mind’s eye. And then you saw it for real, a proper grin, when you’d opened the door and dove into his arms, burying your face in his shirt. He’d squeezed you tight, relieved that things between you were still good. It took a serious conversation to sort out what had gone wrong. You tried to better explain what it was you felt - the queasy feeling at the idea of being involved in any sort of romantic act and the discomfort when confronted with romantic imagery or depictions of romance and romantic couples – reassuring Ben that it wasn’t anything he’d done, and he apologised for giving you the cold shoulder, admitting his distance had been because he wasn’t sure how to act around you. Talking it out helped and when you were done, both feeling like you better understood what would help the situation, you curled up in bed together to catch up on the sleep you’d missed.  

The next time, nearly six months later, you’d been better prepared and, though it was still a little rocky, it had gone smoother. Ben didn’t try to avoid you, so you didn’t feel as abandoned as you had the last time, but you made sure to maintain some distance from him, knowing his feelings were different to yours and not wanting to put him in any awkward situations. There were moments when neither of you knew what to do or say, moments when it felt like you were both treading on eggshells to try and avoid a repeat of the last time. But when you asked to take a break from the TV series you were halfway through because the romance plotline didn’t hold the same enjoyment it usually did, he seemed to understand and agreed to what you needed. The time after that had been barely a month later, far sooner than you were expecting. You supposed that your relationship with Ben was having an impact. After all it had been a while since you’d last been in a romantic relationship and though what you and Ben had wasn’t that, it did cross some of the same lines. Surely it was natural that your mind would try to balance things out by making you feel unequipped to deal with romantic subplots and sentimental love songs more often than before. Or at least that’s how to tried to explain it to Ben when he made a huffy comment about the increasing frequency of your romance repulsed days. If it hadn’t been for an interrupting phone call from his mum, you might have fallen into another fight. Instead, you spent the time he was on the phone thinking about why things felt so hard, trying to come up with possible solutions. You went over some activities in your head, comparing how you usually felt about them and what you felt when you were romance repulsed. Cheek kisses still felt okay because they were generally a way you showed affection to everyone you knew, but being kissed on the lips seemed to cross a line, no matter how it was done. Cuddling too could be okay depending on the context but you’d probably prefer not to just to be safe. Sex on the other hand was a big question mark You’d never tried having sex on a no romo day before, but you assumed if emphasis was put on the physical pleasure it could work, though maybe positions that didn’t force eye contact would be more enjoyable. But perhaps that was better left to be explored when you were both more comfortable with the situation. Even dinners out together and datey things like that could be doable if you didn’t have to deal with candlelight and intimate seating.  

As soon as Ben was finished on the phone you tried to explain your thought process to him.   “The way I think about it is like...regularly I have a mental picture of what actions I feel are platonic and what actions cross into romance. Sometimes those lines aren’t super clear like with kissing, but I know which it is when I see it or experience it.” “Right, like how you don’t mind spooning in bed and getting really close but on the couch you prefer to rest your head on my lap or whatever.” “Yes, exactly. It might all be considered variations on cuddling but to me there's a big difference in how they feel. Well a no romo day is like if you took all of those distinct lines and moved them over a little. The lines are still there but the image is distorted and not quite what I’m used to seeing.” “Okay,” he stretched the word out thoughtfully, “so...it’s not that everything feels romantic it’s just that your tolerance levels have changed?” “Yeah, I think so. It’s not easy for me to understand either. Especially since sometimes things change more than others. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. But my big question is what do you need? I don’t want this to become a big problem or cause fights every time it happens so, what’s going to help make it feel more normal for you?” Ben thought for a moment, “Physical contact. I don’t mean that in a sexual way either, just physical contact. I mean you know how touchy I can be. It grounds me. Even just a hug or, y’know, rubbing my back as you walk past me, things like that. A high five even. If we’re out with the others it’s not so bad cause they all know what I’m like too and none of them will mind if I lean on their shoulder or sit on their lap or whatever. But when it’s just us...I need that physical contact to feel settled and I guess it’s been harder to feel okay about it when you flinch away from me. Makes me feel wrong just because I want to be close to you.” You were a little stunned by the honest and carefully considered way he responded to your question, and felt a little bad about trying to force space between you, “I knew you liked that sort of thing but I guess I didn’t realise how important it is for you.” Ben shrugged, “Normally it’s something I don’t even think about. But with you lately it’s like I just haven’t known what to do.”He paused, biting the corner of his thumb nail as he thought, “I don’t think the way I love you is entirely platonic anymore. I mean it hasn’t been entirely platonic for a while now but those feelings aren’t going away. And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad or anything, it’s just how it is, and I think it’s part of why I’ve been so weird or whatever about this whole romance repulsion thing.” “Yeah it must be kinda hard to understand what I mean,” “I’m trying to understand it and I’m trying to be respectful. But you gotta give me a little more. And you have to be more understanding of where I’m coming from too.”

After that, you both made adjustments to accommodate the other and talked through what solutions worked and what didn’t. Ben spent some time consulting google for ideas and found you a playlist of songs that had aromantic vibes or at least could be reinterpreted so the romantic meaning was more relatable for you. And you made more of an effort to keep up a physical closeness with him – sitting shoulder to shoulder as you watched TV and shared a bag of microwave popcorn, rubbing your hand over his back as you stepped behind him in the kitchen, surprising him by placing a cold hand to his face or stomach when he wasn’t expecting it – even on regular days when you didn’t hate the way it felt to be held by him. You figured that emphasising those sorts of small physical gestures would help both of you in the long run. Every so often something would arise that needed a little extra discussion but you both took them in your stride and did your best to be accommodating and patient.  

And by the next time a no romo day occurred, things were as close to perfect as you could hope for. You wriggled out from under Ben’s arm when you woke, better able to recognise the sick feeling  creeping up on you. Stepping out of bed you switched Ben’s oversized sweatshirt for one of your own and tiptoed down to the kitchen putting your anti-romantic playlist on softly as you made coffee and toast. When Ben eventually surfaced he pressed his lips to your cheek but he already felt you wouldn’t want anything more than that, putting together the pieces and proved right as you gave a small shake of your head. He gave your waist a brief squeeze in acknowledgement before turning toward the fridge to begin his own morning routine. And just like that you knew things would be okay. You couldn’t say you knew what he felt or that you entirely understood it but, yet again, Ben had shown that his love for you was less about Love and more about you. And you hoped he could see that you cared for him just as strongly, even if you felt it differently.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

[hobiwonder]

Conspicuous (m) |

Genre: Smut, PWP. Sugarmama!Reader, Sugarbaby/little!Jungkook. 

Pairing: reader x jungkook. Reader is older.

Warnings: detailed description of oral sex, intercourse, creampie, cream pie eating, dirty talk, noona kink and just overall badly written porn lolll.

Words: 7.1k

Summary: Pretty docile jungkook falls for a cynical old witch. you kinda like him too i guess.

a/n: so i wrote this a while ago and it was shit but then i edited this slower than a turtle and realised it’s not much better lmao but im kinda trying to move on from hating my writing so here u go :// it is what it is. i hope u guys semi-like this :)) also im a big fat liar and can’t stick to update dates so pls 4give.

It had been a rough day. You had over 4 meetings and a ton of paper work to look over before you signed and made a few deals for your company that had been in the works for months. Signing on new contractors to make your company’s newest tech products hadn’t been an easy feat. Finding honest companies with good work ethic, a spotless track record of their dealings before with other major enterprises was also not an easy task. You were known to be a meticulous worker, settling for nothing but the best when it came to the products your company launched. Finally, after months of designing and drafting the first prototype for the newest series of cameras and mobile phones, your company was about to launch their new line. This project had been your baby for a long, long time.

Some would argue that you hadn’t had to work hard for anything in your life. Inheriting your father’s company at the ripe age of 23 had made you nothing but bitter with the way your life had turned out. You were young and impressionable, and wanted everything from the world. There was nothing that you thought was out of your reach with a billion-dollar inheritance anyway. Yet the possibility of having to take over your father’s entire company due to his sudden and inconveniently timed illness had never crossed your mind. It had been very sudden. One day you had been planning a trip to Paris with your friends and the next day at 8am you had to fly down to Seoul to head the board meeting. By 9pm, you had been voted the new Chief Executive Officer. You had been thrilled at first, trying to make the best of the situation that you were slam dunked into. However, it was hard to keep up the optimistic façade when you had discovered that you were only voted in because the mistrust that your father had built in his own company had lead all the prospective candidates for the job to vote you in. Handing you the position just to ultimately micromanage under the pretence of ‘guiding’ you had seemed a better option to all the other high ranking employees than to trust each other at handling the company by voting on someone from it who probably knew the company inside and out.

Your father was a clever bastard. You hated him, but you had to give it to him for creating such a passively aggressive hostile environment where none of his officials trusted anyone but him. Which ensured that when his demise came, the position that he had held in his own company for decades would be seamlessly passed down to you, without anyone accusing your father of manipulating the rules. Each day passed and the more you held on, just out of spite for your father and the retched men filled workplace that you were in charge of, the more rivals you made out of the men twice your age, greying and still hitting on you despite insisting that they saw you as their ‘own daughter.’ It was infuriating, disturbing and honestly, quite disheartening, when all your dreams of traveling the world, making a name for yourself as a photographer, working with expressionists to runway models to just taking pictures of breathtaking landscapes, had been shattered. Though, there was no point on dwelling. Your father had barely believed in your dreams nor ever payed attention whenever you tried to steer the conversation in the direction of what you wanted to do. To put it simply, if it did not generate revenue – and fast – your father had no interest in your dreams. You had learned that quite young and kept it all to yourself, albeit the longing you felt in the pit of your stomach for someone who would root for you, remained. Someone who would follow and support your journey. But what use is there for that special someone when the dream no longer lived?

That’s what you told yourself each night that your mind would wander to useless thoughts of what could have been and what definitely wasn’t. You were a cynic by nature, but you had tried to defeat that part of yourself once upon a time. No longer did you inhibit these tendencies when they came in so handy being the youngest CEO your company was likely to see. Each decision you had made had been opposed to the maximum. First they were careful, trying not to out their true intentions. When you showed no signs of quitting or budging from your position, all the men had been quite shameless in opposing you as well as their public display of disdain for you. When you worked with the wolves every day, it was hard not to become a pessimist and even harder to not let it suck all emotions out of you until nothing was left but the ever dull numbness that you worked with every day.

Until him. Until he seemingly just showed up in your life one day, looking ever like the lost little boy who was searching for his mother at the fair. Yes, he literally looked too kind, too good to be true. With his too big innocent eyes, slightly pouted lips, eyebrows furrowed charmingly as he held the flyer in his hand, trying to figure out if he was in the right building or not. He’d been chatting with the receptionist when you’d entered the building with your assistant trailing beside you going over the day’s agenda. At first you had barely glanced at him as you approached the reception to pick up some forms that your assistant was supposed to but you figured, why not? You’re passing through anyway. You weren’t a monster, as much as everyone at your company believed you to be. When you really had a good look at him, your heart had skipped several beats, taking in how handsome he really was.

He’d been leaning over the counter pointing something out to Somin, the main receptionist while she shook her head apologetically at him, her face twisting into a pitying expression.

“Sorry darling, we’re looking for professional companies to shoot the commercial. I’m afraid there is nothing we can do.”

“I-I have a portfolio though. Please, would you have your b-boss or anyone really, have a look at it?” He was almost pleading by this point. This made Somin sigh, leaning forward in her seat to give him an eyeful of her breasts. You knew he was getting an eyeful from the smirk on her face and the almost visible battle he was having with himself to not look down at her chest.

“Sweetheart, there is no point okay? Our boss won’t be interested in cute little boys like you with little to no experience with professional campaigns. Personally, I think she’d eat you alive. Why don’t you meet me in a few hours and I can get you some other gigs? I know a lot of people.” You almost gagged at the sugary sweet voice she had put on for him, twirling a strand of her hair.

You almost wanted to fire her but knowing you didn’t have time to deal with that headache, you settled for letting her know you were watching her unprofessional behaviour. Throwing down a pile of papers for her to forward to the relevant departments, you made yourself known, interrupting her flirting when she visibly jumped at your voice.

“Put your tits back in your blouse Somin, before I fire you.”

“I-I, ah, yes ma’am.�� She muttered looking down quickly adjusting in her seat as she clicked away on her computer, no doubt trying to look like she wasn’t just hitting on the boy. “I was just letting him know we don-”

“Send him in.”

“Wait, are-”

“Somin, send him in.” You said it slower, to get your point across that you didn’t need her input on any decision you made. Even as frivolous as this one.

Or so you thought.

Jungkook, if possible, had looked even more startled than Somin. Almost doubling over, tripping on his way over when he realised who you were and that you had agreed to meet him.

Turns out, that decision was not frivolous at all. Considering how little time it took you to decide that he was yours and that you would move any mountain in the world you could to see a smile on his face after you let him shoot the magazine cover for your company’s monthly issue. It wasn’t the commercial he was hoping to shoot, despite having an remarkable portfolio. Nonetheless, it was enough to have the sunniest smile you had ever seen on anyone. Most of all, it was sincere. He had been honest, too honest, letting you know that he desperately needed this job. He was two months behind his college tuition and if he didn’t make any payment, he would be kicked out. At first you had contemplated the chances of him lying to you about his backstory to get a gig. After all, the exposure that your company or merely being associated with your company afforded, was enormous. Enough to get anyone started on their feet with the name of your company on their resume. But there was no doubt of his truth. Firstly, his clothes did all the talking. The poor boy was wearing a hoodie a size too small, shoes almost giving away at the stitches but most of all, his eyes. They were the kindest that you had ever come across. They showed the kind of hope in them that you had for yourself six years ago. Even though it was obvious that his situation was in dire need of saving, probably no other option after this, he still held on with stubbornness and tenacity you only wished you had held on to. Not the one where you go months arguing your point just to wear everyone out and get your way to prove yourself. Not just because you could and you were the CEO. But because you believed in yourself. Jungkook believed in himself and his efforts. In the short amount of time you spent with him that morning, you learned more about him than you had learned about yourself in all the 29 years you had been alive.

The rest had been history. It had started out with a job for him and turned into so much more. The first time you had kissed him was when he was shooting the cover page. You never went to any of the magazine shoots unless you were in a featuring story, but your heart had betrayed you when you tried to tell yourself you didn’t really need to see him. He was nothing special to you. That thought process went to shit when your lips had met his and the undeniably soft moan he had let out in surprise of your action. A kiss turned into secret rendezvous in your office when everyone was packing up and leaving while you pressed him into your office desk with your body straddling his, tugging the sweetest moans out of his soft mouth as your hand worked his length. He never asked for more; at first. Just relishing in the moments of tenderness you provided him unlike your cold exterior and dealings with him on a normal basis. But these stolen moments in your office turned into him staying at your place almost every night of the week. At first you told yourself that he was a grown man, you didn’t need to worry if he had dinner or if the heater at his place was working alright. But who were you fooling anyway? One noisy growl from his stomach and you were out of your office, motioning him to follow you. And he did, eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Watching him eat was one of your favourite pass times. He made so much noise, munching his food loudly like a baby that all it did was make you crazy from inside out. Making it harder and harder to keep an emotional distance from him while you kept up this mutually beneficial arrangement. It was hard keeping him at an arm’s length when he was so open and willing to share his heart with you. He was smart, he was diligent in his affection, kind, caring, shy. Utmost importantly, he believed in you, the goodness in you. It made you feel guilty at night when both of you lay in your post coital bliss, him snoring lightly beside you while his head lay on your arm. Guilty that he took even the smallest gestures at such high value, looking at you like you were the centre of his universe when you did so much as buy him a pair of cashmere gloves and scarf in the cold unforgiving months of winter. You knew it wasn’t just because of the money or the things that you would buy for him. You knew this because the first time you transferred him money without him knowing, it wasn’t spent until 3 weeks later when he was actually expecting his pay check. And those 3 weeks, you were stuffed so full with his random displays of affection whenever you were with him. He would make sure to touch you as much as he could whenever he was around. Telling you again and again how wonderful you were every chance he got. Saying how much you inspired him and gave him hope for any future for himself knowing how much stress you were always under. It was almost suffocating as you weren’t used to it all but slowly, you realised you were spoiled. You doubted anything less in the future would satisfy you.

Tonight was no different. Maybe a little different. If anything had changed in the months that you had met Jeon Jungkook, was that you had learned that even big, muscly boys like him, who were no less than men judging solely from the rippling muscles, and by god the best fucking 8 pack you had ever seen, could be just as attention demanding as a 5-year-old. Jungkook was a certified baby boy. He was your baby boy. However, tonight, you didn’t need his needy whinges no matter how much your core complained otherwise. He had gotten home shortly after you, all the while huffing and puffing about his new lecturer and how strict he was with his marking. You had hummed along with his complains while he took off his shoes, throwing his backpack aside and had made his way over to you towards the counter where you’d been standing, looking over some paperwork while you sipped on your freshly brewed coffee.

He had wrapped you into a warm back hug – the boy was all heat, always – resting his head on your shoulder with a pout that could give a toddler a run for his money when he noticed your lack of response to his nuzzling in the crook of your neck, no doubt, trying to get you to reciprocate and coddle him like you usually did to make him feel better. You had warmed up to him, and only for him, a lot. But apparently, not enough for Jungkook.

“Noona,” He whined again, pressing tighter against your back, his taller stature looming over yours when he stands straighter, annoyed at your lack of reaction to his pouting face.

“Hmm… go have dinner, it’s in the fridge.” He made a noise in the back of his throat, much like a whine, poking head in front of your face, trying to block your way of the documents you were currently perusing.

“Jungkook, not now. Eat your dinner or go play overwatch please.” It was apparent that you were done with the conversation. At your stony dismissal, he huffed, but nonetheless, went and sat at the dining table, stabbing his fork in the plate. Clearly showing his annoyance and that he was less than happy with you. At that point, you barely heard anything besides the ringing in your ears and the pounding headache that had a hold of you since this morning. You really needed to have all the paperwork sorted tonight or you would be in deep shit. Jungkook could wait. His brattiness always chose the most inappropriate of times to surface.

He stared at you all the while he stabbed his food to mush before taking a bite. You could almost feel his eyes burning a hole in your forehead. When he was done with his food, he made his way over to the sink, noisily throwing his plate in the dish washer after rinsing it. You knew he wanted to get a rise out of you and he damned well almost did.

“I’m done.” Raising an eyebrow without sparing him a glance, you made a noise of confirmation that your heard him, barely.

“Noona,” you continued to nod to yourself reading over all the terms and conditions of the new contract. Jungkook scoffed, setting his hands on his hips.

“Can you at least look at me?” Slamming your hands down on the counter, you looked at him square in the eyes with a stern face that had the blood rushing to his face, flustered.

“And what Jungkook? Can you please-,” exhaling loudly, “let me finish this? I don’t have time for your whining right now. Go play the new game I bought you and not a peep out of you. Understood?” Your demanding voice had him gulping, knowing the unspoken punishment was just lurking the corner. He was already treading on thin ice. Hoping that sent him the message that you were not to be disturbed, you turned back to your documents.

You continued to ignore him while he muttered to himself, walking over to the couch in your penthouse, turning on the gaming console.

It had been about 3 hours since you had last spoken to Jungkook. He’d played on the Xbox for a while before he’d resorted to watching Netflix on your couch. It had been halfway into Iron Man that you’d stopped hearing his commentary on the movie. You’d finally finished with the paperwork, made sure there were no loose ends and no errors before the big day of the official signing. Giving your limbs a much needed stretch, you yawned, feeling unbelievably tired. Knowing how much you’d neglected Jungkook also didn’t have you feeling so hot. He could hold a grudge for an impressively long amount of time. Lucky for you, you knew just how to make it up to him.

Walking over to the large L shaped couch and his figure curled on it with his hands tucked in between his knees had you feeling weak in yours. He held such an air of innocence even when he simply slept. The unmistakable content look on his gentle face almost had you turning back and letting him nap some more, knowing how frustrated he was before he fell asleep. Smiling, you walked over to the fridge and grabbed a box of banana milk that you always had stacked in your fridge. The boy was a sucker for banana milk. He’d probably give away his bank account details if you gave him enough of it.

You sat beside his sleeping figure, stabbing the straw in to the box and setting it beside you. Putting your hands beside his head, cradling it, you kissed his forehead, whispering his name to shake him out of his slumber. You continued to give him soft eskimo kisses as he groaned and shook his head, too overcome with drowsiness to attempt to shake it away. The chuckle you’d been biting back escaped as you took in the pout that was starting to form once again on his face. There was once a time you thought you hated boys. Then came a period you thought you hated high maintenance boys (you’d been told by your best friend that male versions of you reciprocated that feeling). But here you were with Jungkook. A boy AND very high maintenance.

“Jungkook, wake up darling.” You nuzzled his nose as he finally stretched his arms above his head, peeking at you with an eye open as his handsome face turned into a frown, likely remembering he was mad at you. You grabbed the banana milk and handed it to him, happily taking advantage of his weakness to get in his good graces. His face instantly lit up and all you wanted to do was scream. He was too adorable. Too good and easily pleased for his own benefit.

“You can’t bribe me to like you with this.” He spoke around the straw in his mouth, sipping on it as he sat up slightly, allowing your arms to wrap around his shoulders and pull him into you. You grinned, looking down with your eyes closed before raising them up to his face again.

“I know, babe. I’m sorry I yelled okay? You need to realise when noona is stressed and needs to be left alone.” The seriousness of your tone had him listening carefully to your every word. Sighing he nodded, looking down, most likely understanding your difficult position. He always did. He was too good for you.

“I’m sorry, too. I just was so annoyed at my professor today!” He huffed again, sticking out his bottom lip for good measure.

“How come baby? What happened?” Seeing you interested in wanting to know about his day, Jungkook visibly perked up, eagerly telling you about how hard he worked on his last project and got 85%.

“That’s amazing Jungkook! That’s something to be proud of, considering how much of an ass he sounds like. Cheer up honey.” You kissed his lips softly, keeping it chaste and sweet.  

Of course, Jungkook being Jungkook, he chased after your lips when you pulled away. Eyes half closed as he tried to pull you closer, throwing the empty milk box on the side. You smirked, holding his face between your palms and pushing him back down.

“Behave, baby.” Whining had seemed to become Jungkook’s favourite tonight, as he did just that, pulling you on top of his frame. One of the insanely lust inducing facts that you’d learned about Jungkook was his insatiable sexual appetite. First, he’d seemed to be too reluctant and shy to do so much as slip his tongue in your mouth and all the previous encounters had been initiated by you. Slowly, he’d developed into a man possessed to have his cravings satisfied. Needily rutting against you as he once again buried his face in your neck. He was greedy. But you were more than happy to provide what he desired.

“Noona,” whining breathlessly and you had barely held him for more than a few moments, “need you.”

“What do you need baby?” He knew you liked to drag it out, milk the moment until he was so needy, so beside himself that tears pricked his eyes, begging you for some relief. He also knew you loved it when he was vocal, freely expressing his want with the way he whined and gasped and moaned, composing your favourite melody.

“S-Suck me, noona, please.” He whined low in his throat as you felt the trickle of arousal escape your core, heat travelling downwards and opening your body up to his gluttonous eyes. His shameless demand only spurred you on further. Jungkook had tugged his leg over yours, pushing his hardened length in your stomach, grinding brazenly, hoping you’d show him mercy, just for tonight. You were still biting your lips, looking down at his flushed face and needy, big button eyes fluttering and boring into yours before dipping them down towards your cleavage. He dragged his hands from your waist up, bringing your silk blouse along with him until you stopped them from ascending any further. He was whining again, nuzzling his face in your breasts through your blouse when not granted permission to take off your shirt. This time though, the noise lit a fire deep in your core instead of the chaste affection it incited in a more innocent context. Instead, you reached behind with both of your arms under the shirt, taking off your bra, slowly, making sure to watch Jungkook’s already breathless face and glazed eyes. He looked like he’d been drugged. Knowing it was you and your hands over him satisfied an almost cloying need inside you that was inexplainable. Inexplainable but attainable and only from having him.

You leaned back down after throwing your bra aside. Taking his face in your hands, you took his deep red lips in for another kiss. Thrusting your tongue into his mouth, letting it lead his own, you kissed him fervently enough to set his nerves on ablaze. He was so restless and beside himself that his sensual grinding had turned into desperate rutting of his hips against your damp sex through your panties, skirt ridden up to your waist. You placed your hands on his bottom, slowing down his pace to the sensual grind it was before, making him groan loudly in your mouth. He was young and by no means a virgin, but you often found yourself slowing him down. He was always eager to please and be pleased. The stamina of a bull, you thought bitterly on more than one occasion, knowing how mild paced you’d had sex before compared to your hectic life.

“Slow down baby, noona will give you what you need.” Jungkook moved down towards your chest, ignoring your warning and taking a pebbled nipple into his mouth through your silk blouse. You hissed at the harsh tug of his teeth on your nipple. Apparently Jungkook was in no mood of being obedient.

You almost had to wrestle his hands in to your hold as he sucked on your nipple through the fabric, pleasure flooding your nerves, setting them on fire as he tugged and tugged, slowly suckling afterwards to ease the pain. Your breathing was rough. Jungkook was being brattier than usual, not listening to a word so far. You resigned yourself to just let him be, get it out of his system. He was obviously showing his feelings from your spat earlier, rather than excessively voicing them. He pulled away from one just to switch to the other. The fabric of your blouse now sticking to your nipple, outlining the peak shamelessly. You left his hands beside him, dragging your own down to his hardened length. Jungkook was a very generously endowed man. The fact that his body and his cock didn’t match his face or personality was the hottest thing to you. He had no idea how sexy it was to you that he fucked like a porn star, however, possessed the temperament of a timid mouse. His acquiescent demeanour was your weakness. It only made you want to have him even more. You granted a harsh tug on his cock, halting his movements on your breast, using your hand that was cradling him to your chest to tug his gasping face away from it.

“Enough.” Voice callous, sending shivers down his brawny torso. He whimpered lowly, tugging on his bottom lip. Your hand continued to move on his hard length, lubricated from the excessive pre-cum smeared on the tip. It was messy and you loved messy.

“I want your cock in my mouth.” You purred lowly beside his ear, hearing him gulp. Slowly, you sat up, sliding down his body, Jungkook watching you with dim eyes, pupils dilated, such apparent lust swimming in his irises. Sliding off your silk blouse, you discarded it to the side along with his jeans and underwear in one swoop. You leaned down, eyes level with his own, landing open mouthed kisses to his pelvis, trailing them down to the cherry red head of his leaking cock. He was unbelievably hard and intimidatingly engorged. It made you all the more wet, knowing you’ll get to feel him soon. You began by starting at the base of his shaft with your tongue and working your way up towards the tip. He was trembling. His skin felt scorching and clammy as the temperature seemed to rise around you despite the open plan space.

“Noona, noona!” Jungkook was almost heaving, resisting the urge to pull on your head and shove you down his cock. He wondered if this is what heaven felt like. He’d ask you that question if he wasn’t busy trying not to die because he would rather experience this feeling in this life than wait for the next.

“Yes, baby?” You kept up your licking as he stared at you, pupils blown, his mouth hanging open. “What do you want my darling?”

“I want your mouth noona, please suck me, suck my cock noona, p-please.” He whined shamelessly, moaning loudly when his wish was granted. This is the point where Jungkook lost all his inhibitions and chased your touch without his reticent nature afflicting him. Finally reaching the tip, you were rewarded with a few drops of pre-cum that you licked up with your tongue, quickly swallowing him down. Slowly feeling the veiny warmth of his luscious cock as you moved up and down on it. Working it with your tongue. Jerking it with one hand while the other gently pressed on the underside of his scrotum. All the while desperate moans of ‘noona’ and your name when he got too carried away were sounding the walls of your penthouse. Jungkook had always been vocal and it was your weakness. He was either quiet and reserved or bratty and loud. The later usually in more compromising situations as this one.

You slowly worked your way down the veiny shaft with your tongue and with your other hand holding and slowly jerking his cock.

“F-Fuck! Y-Yes just like that noona, take my cock,” He whimpered loudly, his shirt now discarded on the floor as his torso glistened with a light sheen of perspiration, “I’m gunna cum noona, oh god.” Holding his cock deep in your throat, you finally lifted your head up and off his dick, spitting saliva all over his engorged dick. His desperate pleas for you to finish him off were mostly a catalyst to your already hedonistic desires at this moment. Giving head had never appealed so much to you before Jungkook. In fact, it was almost degrading to you considering your stature to almost all your partners before. Though, it never occurred to you when it came to Jungkook. First you mistook it as pity on the young man but you were soon realising that your interest in foreplay was not merely a phase. There was something more than was you felt on the surface which was becoming harder to ignore. One last time you put your face directly above his cock and took a deep breath, sweat dripping onto the mushroom tip from your forehead you finally sunk down again. Jungkook didn’t think he even had control of his body as he thrust upward, pushing his cock even further down your throat. Pleasurable tears fell down your face as you continued to hold Jungkook's cock in your throat. Finally, barely able to breathe you pulled your head back allowing his cock to escape your mouth as you gasped for air. Threads of saliva trailed down from your mouth to his beautiful cock. Continuing to bob up and down, going deep but not nearly as deep as you had been, your adoration of Jungkook's beautiful cock had him soon ready to explode. Jungkook looked at you in panic, breathing heavily.

“Noona I’m gunna cum! tell me w-where.” He almost pleaded as you sat up slightly away from his cock.

"Come on baby, give it to me," you instructed Jungkook as he jerked his cock, the engorged head only inches from your face.

You opened your mouth and Jungkook aimed, shooting two ropes of cum almost directly into your mouth, some of it landing on your lips and chin. You quickly swallowed, gulping down his warm sticky cum. He looked beautifully wrecked. His skin flushed a deep pink, abs contracting and relaxing as he took deep breaths in. So vulnerable and uncut. Once his orgasm had subsided, he’d wasted no time in sitting up and pulling you into his lap.

“I came so hard noona, you’re so amazing, you’re so beautiful.” His words being pressed into your skin as he held you close to his naked body, hands now working on your skirt and panties, tugging them off.

“Anything for my baby,” You kissed him sweetly as your hand continued down to stroke his hardening cock again, exploring each other's mouths. You pulled away from his lips, caressing his cheek with your free hand.

“Noona is going to fuck you now, okay baby?” Jungkook moaned at your words nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Please, fuck me noona. I-I’m so hard for you.”

Slowly you placed your bare feet up on either side of his hips, then lowered your pussy over his cock. Instantly feeling the electricity of his huge member penetrating your pussy. When you were satisfied that you could get no more of his cock into your pussy, you began to bounce up and down on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning on his shoulder.

Enjoying the feeling of fullness that always comes from having Jungkook’s cock in your pussy. For the first time today Jungkook finally got to properly suck on your breasts. Pushing you back slightly as you continued to bounce up and down, you were thankful for the Pilates classes that kept you in shape. He gently sucked on your nipples, swirling his tongue over the areola of each tit. Sucking and biting each nipple your orgasm soon built up in your core. The combination of being on edge from the events before combined with the stresses of the day had you rushing towards your end faster than usual. So you turned around. Now facing forward, and began to really fuck Jungkook.

You pushed down until you could feel the head of his member nudge your cervical opening and sending a bite of pain up your torso. You stopped for a second leaning back to sweetly talk in Jungkook’s ear, "Baby, thrust upward as hard as you can, okay? Please do it for Noona." You smiled wickedly at him as he suddenly pushed upward as hard as he could, crying out with you. "Oh God, Jungkook!" you cried out loudly as the pain of his thrust hit you. In seconds that pain was replaced by pleasure as his cock penetrated depths of your cunt. "Don't stop," Urging him on as Jungkook had started to slow down his rhythm thinking he hurt you. The overwhelming feelings had you so engrossed in your own little world and only when Jungkook squeezes his hands on your waist you glance down at where you’re both connected.

With Jungkook now penetrating your cunt fully you begin to ride him ferociously, fucking like animals. Your naked bodies made loud smacking sounds as you worked towards the inevitable climax. Sweat once again poured off of your naked body glistening in the light of the living room. You were getting tired with your continued rhythm on his cock and thankfully Jungkook noticed as he kissed up your back helping you maintain it.

“How about I turn you over now? Please,” He kissed your collarbone, “Wanna fuck noona.”

You gave into his pleading, getting off his lap and getting on all fours on the couch as Jungkook rested one knee on the couch and the other foot on the floor, gaining all leverage he needed. You were drunk on each other's bodies and it was evident in the way Jungkook’s eyes were glazed over, never taking them off of you. This was not the usual and the fact that you allowed him to take over only further showed him how past your typical temperament you were.

Having positioned himself on the seat he looked over at you with a mischievous grin on his handsome face. Jungkook stroking his now well lubricated cock, grabbed it with his left hand and guided it to your pussy. As he slowly entered, you let out a muffled groan, adjusting to his size in this position. Somehow, he felt larger and harder as the rigid shaft dragged across your vaginal walls, filling you up inch by inch. And then he began to slowly fuck you, pushing your body forward a bit with every thrust, getting into a rhythm. His cock working your pussy felt unbelievable. With sweat pouring out of your body and dripping on the couch, you felt the rush of you orgasm building as you instructed Jungkook. "Faster baby, please," The more Jungkook gave, the lesser it felt. He was addicting, enchanting and like a true addict, you always wanted more. Jungkook began ploughing into your cunt with reckless abandon. Making shameful smacking sounds as your sweaty bodies collided together and before you knew it, your torso was collapsing on the couch as Jungkook held firmly on to your hips.

“You look so sexy Y/N. You feel so good, fuck.” When you turned your head to the side, eyes sliding back to glance at his face, the view only brought you closer. Jungkook’s eyebrows were furrowed in amazement as his eyes were securely stuck to the view of where your bodies made illicit contact.

“A-Am I doing well Noona? I’ve b-been holding off for you.” You nodded your head as best as you could, knowing he was well aware of his skill but always wanted to hear it from you. And you were more than happy to oblige.

“Yes honey, you’re so good.”

“God, it’s never enough. I wanna fuck you f-forever Noona.” A hiccup to let you know he was choking up which wasn’t so out of the ordinary as what he says next. “P-Please don’t leave me.”

The brokenness his words convey is so honest and sincere it’s like being stamped directly on the surface of your skin. And you’re not given much time to mull it over when Jungkook’s rhythm behind you turns frantic, almost as if he’s also realised his slip up. It for sure makes you forget though. Now needing to cum, you matched his rhythm and pushed back harder, sweat still dripping from your body onto the couch. You felt an incredible rush of pleasure wash over your body listening to Jungkook whine with each thrust, muttering about how perfect you felt on his cock.

“Baby I’m c-cuming,” You moaned in urgency, prompting Jungkook to get impossibly faster.

“Cum for me noona, want you dripping over my cock.”

You barely kept your balance on the seat as your orgasm exploded, your cunt dripping with Jungkook's cock still ploughing into you, the liquid nectar gushing onto the couch below as he helps you climb the bridge of your ecstasy.

Jungkook slowed his rhythm down, knowing you needed a minute but his cock never really stopped gently thrusting your cunt.

He began to pick up his rhythm again hammering your pussy with his thick girth over and over. Your pussy convulsing around his cock in oversensitivity, but you wanted him to cum again. At that moment you didn't care. All you could think about was how good his cock felt inside you and how good his cum was going to feel in you again. Now working harder than ever before, Junngkook's cock kept battering your dripping pussy. The smacking sounds of your flesh louder than ever. "N-noona." you knew that he was telling you he was ready. "In me baby. Cum inside noona’s pussy.” you instructed. Filling you up to the brim. Slowing down as he continued to spurt inside, holding on to your hips as his eyebrows were furrowed, concentrating on milking all his cum from his cock. You waited for him to snap out of his daze as he came to a halt, reluctantly pulling out. You winced slightly as he exited your entrance at the inflamed lips of your pussy. As he slid down to the floor, you took his place on the couch, laying back to give your aching limbs a rest as your vision took time to clear.

What you weren’t prepared for was a tongue snaking its way to your cum-filled pussy, startling you.

"Jungkook." You cried out a little too loud as Jungkook's tongue first began to explore your lips. He began by placing soft kisses all around your pussy lips. Gently using his tongue to massage the outer labia of your cunt. His hands caressing your stomach and then reaching back down to spread your thighs wide.

“You’re so yummy noona, I want to eat all of our cum,” his words making you moan even louder. Jungkook was just as filthy as you and it made you even wetter. Meanwhile, his tongue had begun to work his way into your pussy. Jungkook took his time with your pussy reciprocating the worship that you had shown his cock. His tongue began to work inward further licking all around quickly but not viciously, allowing your pleasure to build. His eyes peaked over in to your own, only his nose visible above your mound. And you can’t help but bring your hands down to cradle his face close to you. There was no mistaking Jungkook’s current position between your legs was obscene, objectively speaking. But somehow, it didn’t feel that way. At least not when he looked at you like you were his life source. It was overwhelming in such an intimate way and you couldn’t tear your eyes away no matter how much your mind screamed at you to put some sort of methodical barrier between you two. And if it wasn’t for his tongue slipping up to your clit, you would have most likely been lost in his twinkling eyes for who knows how long.

“Gently, baby.” You hiss as each swipe of his tongue is like a shock to your core. Once he closes his lips around the bundle of nerves, you let go with a whimper; your climax short but powerful. Jungkook only stopped his licking for a few seconds when you came and was now back to work on your now very wet and cum soaked pussy. After a few minutes of just licking up all your juices, he stopped once you started wincing, having had enough for the day. You caught your breath as you pulled him up beside you, laying his head down on your chest as he draped your body with his own, wrapping his arms around you.

After a few minutes of silence, you heard him say the words that lingered on the tip of your tongue.

“I love you Y/N.”

You simply smiled, stroking his hair, tugging his lips softly on your own, not kissing just resting.

Hoping to buy time and figure out what the fuck to do.

a/n: feedback appreciated, esp the constructive kind. :)))

[lala-the-rebel]

For the prompt thing: Logince with either “I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed!” or “I’m in love…shit” - Roman-is-a-gay 💜👑

(This took a long ass time, I apologize lmao. Congratulate yourself for being my first prompt I've posted in a while and the first sanders sides writing thing I've posted since I finished the theatre fic)

Prompt Tags: @roman-is-a-gay @fandersunite @anxious-fander-talian-bean @smileydog101

Word count: 2,003 (I took this and ran ya yeet)

Warning(s): character injury (nothing graphic trust me), mention of weapons (does that count? I dunno; either way if there's something I should mention tell me and I'll edit it)

Logan didn't know how he let Roman convince him to go on his stupid quest. He didn't even know why Roman wanted him to join him. But he agreed to it anyway. He had a soft spot for the guy.

Not that he would let anyone know that, of course.

There was a certain reason he had that soft spot for Roman. And, yes, of course he denied it the first chance he got. Logan, developing feelings for someone? Highly unlikely.

Or so he thought.

The more he obsessed with it, the more he realized it was true. And denying it wasn't doing him any good, so he accepted his fate. Besides, he figured there was no way Roman would reciprocate his feelings. And if his theory was proven true at any point in time, then he would make himself forget he ever thought what he did.

Inconveniently, Roman would prove it wrong by interacting with him as much as possible. It seemed platonic. Whether he had any romantic intentions, Logan wasn't sure. He was enough of a tease to make it hard to determine.

Logan kept on thinking about things as he walked behind Roman. Why was he invited along? Did Roman have different plans that what he said he did? Was he acting sincere around him or faking it?

Logan was so deep in thought that Roman practically had to yell at him to get his attention. The other jumped as a result.

“Logan!”

“What?”

“Didn't you hear me? Where do we need to go from here?”

“Oh,” he muttered. The issue wasn't as bad as Roman made it out to be. “No, I didn't hear you.”

Roman sighed loudly. “What good is having a navigator if he doesn't even navigate?! Give me the map.”

Logan reluctantly handed it over. “Where are you even planning to go, and why did you drag me along?”

Roman opened the map up directly in front of his face, blocking Logan from his view. He still answered him despite not being able to see him. “There is a castle deep in these woods that I plan on seeking out.”

“Don't you have enough of those here in your little realm?”

Roman peeked over the top of the map, raising an irritated eyebrow at the other side. “No, I don't,” he sarcastically replied. “And I brought you because you're the least talkative out of everyone and you do what I ask you to do without question. Usually no distraction, too, but that seems to not be an option today.”

Logan paused for a second. “What do you mean by that?”

Roman folded the map back up and handed it back to Logan. “I hope I don't have to do that again. Now, follow me.” He began walking forward, Logan in tow.

“You didn't answer my question.”

Roman turned his head back at him. “I was about to.” He looked at the other’s face, raising an eyebrow. “I watch you any time we talk, and I've noticed that you're kinda out of it. Is something up?”

“N-no. I'm fine. Perfectly fine.”

“If you say so.” Roman turned away and continued walking normally.

Logan licked his lips. He was super nervous now for some reason. Probably because he pretty much just got called out and denied it.

He shook his head. Why was he in denial so much recently? He was one for being up front and honest. Being direct, not avoiding subjects. Not lying. But he had done so much of that this whole time. He didn't like it, but his alternative wasn't much better. He wasn't entirely prepared for that yet.

But he was definitely prepared to get Roman's motive for going to this castle out of him.

“So, why are you going to this castle again?” he asked, almost running into a branch that Roman recklessly smacked away from himself.

The prince turned around, brandishing his sword. “Because there is a terrible beast in this castle I must slay!” He turned back around before Logan could answer.

His usual reaction would be to roll his eyes and make a sarcastic remark, but this time he didn't for some reason. His actual reaction was, “You're gonna get yourself killed!”

“I've done it multiple times before,” Roman returned with a shrug. He then swung his sword to clear out a huge mass of branches. He stepped over the resulting pile of sticks, Logan following him, into a clearing. Just ahead was the castle.

“We're nearly there,” Roman grinned confidently. “I can smell the dragon's fear. They must know we're close.” He walked out into the clearing briskly, Logan barely keeping up with him.

“If the dragon knew you were coming, then wouldn't you think it would be prepared to retaliate against you and your forces, or rather just your force?”

“Perhaps, but I mustn't let that deter me from my quest!” He stopped walking as something was blocking his path. Logan once again nearly knocked into him.

“Will you stop with your sudden...stops?! I've nearly rammed into you more than once this entire trek, and I don't plan on doing it anymore!” he squawked.

“Well, there's no need to plan anything else, my dear friend,” Roman assured him. “We're there as soon as we cross this bridge.” He gestured towards it.

The castle could have been a hellhole inside for all they knew, because the outside proved otherwise; it looked innocent, no visible dangers to be seen nearby. The walls seemed a bit faded, but who knew how long it had stood there. Cracks ran along the bricks of the bridge, which was over what looked like an endless chasm. They walked across as quickly as they could, hoping nothing would happen as they did so. They did end up crossing safely, but it was the least of their worries. What would be inside the castle terrified them even more.

Roman took a tentative step into the darkness before them, Logan following him as usual. A few steps led them to a huge room dimly lit by torches on the wall. From what they could see, nothing was there. Roman still looked around, in case something were to pop up out of the dark. He was met by a pair of glowing yellow eyes. He raised his sword up.

“Who dares to disturb my slumber?” the dragon roared.

“It is I, the magnificent Prince Roman! You have preyed on my land for too long, beast, and I'm here to put an end to it! You've met your maker, so prepare to lose!”

“What makes you think you have it in you to defeat me? Who's to say I am the one pillaging your land in the first place, mortal?”

“Many have spotted you flying around after many tragedies, and so they have tracked your directions. They lead to here.”

“Fair enough. But, you still did not answer my first question, my dear. Do you honestly think you can defeat me?”

“What makes you think I can't?”

The dragon let out a maniacal laugh. “Oh, Roman, you fool. You say this every time, yet I nearly crush you in my grasp. And, for some reason, you keep crawling back for more.” The voice now had a more feminine tone. The yellow eyes also disappeared. “I should have taught you a lesson a long time ago. You do not learn. Maybe it's time you did.”

“What are you saying?” he questioned.

“I'm saying, Roman, that I'm trying to get rid of you for once and for all.”

Roman gasped. He knew now. This was no ordinary dragon. In fact, it wasn't even really a dragon. How he didn't recognize her voice before now was a mystery to him.

Before he could speak his revelation, an arrow was fired at him. It made a home in his right shoulder. His eyes went wide while Logan screeched his name. With one glance at the arrow poking out of him, he let out a squeal and then fainted, falling backwards onto the floor. Logan quickly rushed to his side, aiding him in sitting up once he was conscious. Roman wasn't completely coherent, though, so he waited to say something until he was. As he did, the dragon witch flew down from her high perch above them, landing on the floor somewhat gently, still laughing. Logan glared at her until Roman spoke.

And when he did, he uttered one simple sentence. “The dragon witch.”

“The one and only, baby,” she snarled. She held her hands out, palms up, displaying herself to them. She flashed an evil, toothy grin.

“You don't frighten me. Not one bit.” He kept his voice from shaking as much as he could. He was more in pain than anything, and she probably knew that, but he wasn't gonna let it stop him. He had to fight.

“Don't lie, my dear, it only makes the matter worse,” she crooned, her voice still in the demonic tone. “Be honest with me. I know you want to get rid of me just as much as I want to be rid of you. But, you can't do that so easily.”

“I can and I will!” he shouted. “Even if it kills me!”

“No! I'm not gonna let you get yourself killed!” Logan interrupted. He got Roman's attention if he didnt have it already.

“I'll...I'll be fine, dude. Don't worry.”

Logan frantically shook his head. “You are far from it. I'll fight in your name. In your honor.”

“Logan, you have no experience. She'll destroy you more than she will me!”

“Then that's a risk I'm going to have to take,” he insisted. Desperation was clear in his eyes; Roman saw it. Logan cared a lot more than he thought. He kinda admired that. But would he let him take that risk, even it he didn't want him to?

He had to.

He unbuckled the belt that held the sheath of his sword and handed it over to Logan the best he could with his free arm. Logan took it quickly. He looked at Roman pitifully, wishing this didn't happen to him.

“I...I wish I could have done...more to, you know, prevent this.”

Roman shook his head. “You didn't need to. All you need to do to for me is this. Just fight.”

Logan looked down at the ground, then back at him. And, then he did something he never thought he would do: he hugged Roman.

“Of course.”

He grabbed the sword out of its sheath, leaving it with Roman, and took a few steps closer to the dragon witch. He held it up with confidence, poised and ready to fight. He had no issue in holding it; it was perfectly balanced in weight. The witch did the same with her sword, smirking as she did so.

Whatever conversation they were having, Roman blocked it out. He stared at Logan, sword in hand, and realized he was really captivated by the sight. He was even more so when they started fighting. The way he moved seemed effortless, like he had been in battle before, when in reality he never had and probably never would have had it not been for Roman. But, knowing Logan, he probably studied the moves so much he could do them from memory. He looked just as skilled as Roman himself, if not more. He moved with such elegance, such speed, such fluidity. It left Roman impressed. On top of looking like he knew what he was doing, Logan somehow physically looked good doing it. Roman didn't know how or why, but he just knew it.

Maybe it was because of the fact that it was him Logan was fighting for. It was Roman he was protecting. He admired that, a lot. Although, this time, he seemed to have admired it a lot more than he cared to realize. He thought it over once, twice, three times, until he finally got it.

“I'm in love...shit.”

[the-last-airbadger]

For the oversharing ask (imma just pick some of the most personal ones here) 8, 14, 17, 19, 24, 42, 50

Eyy thanks for asking! I promise to answer every questions honestly. Sit back and enjoy the ride on the personal train! 

(…I don’t know why I said that…)

8. Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?Eh… well… this is emberassing, but eh… it’s actually you, Chloe. I think about a year ago? Maybe less than that, haha. I had a lil crush on you and had quite the struggle figuring out if it was a platonic crush or a romantic one, but when I realised I wouldn’t want you as anyone but my friend anyway, and so it didn’t really matter what I felt, it kinda went away by itsself? Idk what happened there but I am glad it worked out lol. So now you know…

14. What’s your biggest regret?Okay, when I was, like, ten years old, I had this “friend” that kinda set me up against my other friends and made me bully one of them, which is something I really regret, but somehow I think my biggest regret is when I was eleven and all the girls from my class were angry at my (then only) friend over something super small and they really, like, started to intimidate her and bully her and instead of helping my friend I just… left. I thought smashing the door angrily would help which obviously it didn’t. Later my friend came out the door crying and it was terrible. I mean I did tell our teacher and she got really angry at the class but still what kind of idiot sees their friend get bullied and fucking walks away?

17. What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?uhh… that the world will become a better place where everyone is open and accepting and there’s no homophobia/transphobia/islamophobia/racism etc.Or that I will become a person in the future that is able to help and inspire millions of people.

19. What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?Hmm… that’s a hard one. I mean I know of a lot of situations in which I have been really angry but the angriest? Ever? That’s hard. Ehh let’s see… I do always get really angry (but like really angry) at any kind of ignorant homophobic/transphobic person that does stupid hurtfull shit and then proceedes to blame others for being hurt and refuses to look at themselves critically. It makes me so angry especially if I know they won’t listen to me so I won’t even be able to change their stupid behavior or even talk some sense into them I just… even talking about me makes me angry lmao. So I guess the angriest I’ve ever been is in the presence of someone like that. Or whenever drumpf does stupid shit, that also tends to make me really angry most of the time. Oh and don’t even get me started on rape-apologists and “meninists” and anyone else who seems to be unable to respect women (as if it is that hard to just… respect women??)

24. What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?Again… I don’t know? The first thing that comes to mind is when I actually spoke up and asked for help in that trans group I go to, but I don’t actually know if that’s actually the bravest I’ve ever felt? Oh, and performing in front of like two thousand people (and a lot more, because it was also on tv) with my trans choir also made me feel pretty brave. I mean, it does make a person kinda vulnerable to be known as a trans person to a large portion of people but I am glad we are doing this kind of stuff because it does kind of give us a voice. So, yeah, I’m going for being part of a choir of trans people and putting ourselves out there.

42. What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?I am pretty open minded to the point that, if someone has arguments that are a little bit reasonable, I am able to agree with them easily. Sometimes, that leads to me agreeing with literally everyone in a discussion and that way It’s really hard for me to actualy form my own opinion? So I guess I’m afraid of being capable of agreeing with everyone to the point that I forget what my own thoughts of the matter are and that I am therefor unable to fight for my own beliefs.

50. Have you ever self-harmed?I have these moments where everything is fine and then a minor inconvenience happens and I can get so unreasonably frustrated that I feel like I am gonna explode. Like the frustration is all of a sudden so bad that I just need to hit something or do something to get it out and at those moments I kind of impulsively hit myself or bite my hand? I never thought of that as self harm before but I guess it counts. I mean it is harming myself technically, so…

Well, I hope you liked that! Now you know a little more about me lol

Oversharing Asks

[bartsugsy]

iiiiignore this because it’s just me venting about life and mental health and honestly none of you need to read it lmao

preface/warning: i just read this post over and it feels so much darker than i actually feel. but i talk about depression and it’s all kind of sad and horrible. so. i don’t want to make anyone feel more sad so - just a quick trigger warning. i really don’t want to make other people feel less ok.

i think i realised the other day that i’m probably depressed again (more depressed? my therapist always seemed to think that i live my life in a constant state of mild depression in addition to the mid- to high-anxiety lol) (she never really seemed too concerned about it so)

anyway something somewhere has gotten worse and. i’m fine. i just feel sort of empty. i was out with my friend last night and i could feel myself faking laughter and having to pretend to be interested for a bit, until the wine settled in and i felt sort of ok (loooool and if that’s not dangerous thinking i don’t know what is). i don’t know, i’m sort of losing a little bit of joy in everything. everything feels muted.

i’m just… eating depression meals and can’t bring myself to take care of myself properly and i’m tired and blah blah blah it’s all very standard issue. eh. it’s all just… slightly harder than it was six months ago. i miss being able to wake up at 8am on a weekend and do things and live my life in a happy and productive way and i don’t know when doing that suddenly felt like this impossible task. i feel like my days just go by in a blur of nothing. i don’t know what i do with my time. i just sit in silence and think about nothing and feel blank.

(luckily i have lots of things booked in for the next couple of months and i’m saying yes to everything i’m invited to that gets booked in advance so that i have inescapable reasons to leave my house. tickets to shows and holidays and events and big social occasions. i’m doing it all, lads)

anyway. it’s not too bad, it’s all sort of low level. i still feel things but just… sometimes i don’t and sometimes it’s so much less than it was before.

i just wanted to write it down, to like… reinforce my awareness of it or something. i feel like if i’m aware of it i can keep an eye on it?

or maybe it is bad and i just don’t realise it lmao. it’s probably a little bit bad.

it just feels inconvenient tbh. like a nuisance. a mild irritant. i can’t even get upset about my own depression sigh i’ve been half scooped out from the inside.

anyway anyway being happy on here makes me feel like i’m happy, like i’m tricking my brain into believing it’s true, or maybe it is true, it feels like it’s true, so i’m just going to… go about my overdramatic yelling sunshiney day, i guess. and probably delete this post at some point lmao. but. if i write it down then it forces me to take some responsibility for it. because this is like me accepting that it’s real and it’s back and it’s been almost 10 years since it was last here and i’m not sure it felt like this last time. but. it’s a real thing. so. i should just. help myself out and

(i spent 15 minutes trying to type g e t h e l p and i couldn’t)

i’m deliberately not allowing myself to soften this post any more than it is. there would be a lot more ‘lol’s and ‘lmao’s scattered through if i had. my sudden need to write this down is probably the hangover speaking. i don’t know.

i didn’t really realise how hard it would be to post this, knowing that i have a sort of… bright and happy reputation lmao. like. that adds all sorts of irrationally terrifying layers to this, i think. but i want to post it because it feels like i’m making a pledge to myself to. you know. positive things. (i still can’t type it lmao) i just want to be good to myself tbh. help myself until it passes and i feel ok again. s i g h.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa