#anyway. the brain rot continues

[capseycartwright]

let’s get lost between the lines

ao3 link

“You handled that well,” Tommy said, as they left the restaurant and stepped out into this cool evening air. His words were soft, and gentle – genuine, even. As though he really meant it. Buck was baffled, frankly.

“I handled that with as much grace as an elephant doing ballet,” Buck glared at his - his date? - incredulously. “Tommy, did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Do I need to take you to the emergency room?”

or, after the eddie shaped hiccup of their first date, buck and tommy walk and talk - about coming out and why buck deserves a nice boyfriend.

Buck feels as though he’s swinging wildly between a panic attack and some sort of mental breakdown, heart thundering against his ribcage as he and Tommy finally leave the restaurant. It wasn’t how he’d want their first date - his first date with a man - to go, but then Eddie had appeared with Marisol on his arm and sat down with them, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that he was interrupting a date, and not a just a bro-hang (his words - not Bucks. Because Eddie was nothing if not an embarrassing old man stuck in a thirty-two-year-olds body.)

Tommy hadn’t corrected Eddie about the true nature of their outing, as Eddie had rambled on, hovering over the table, completely oblivious to what he was interrupting. Buck had never been more grateful for the fact that Tommy had already slid his credit card into the folder with the bill, their meal finished before Eddie and Marisol had even gotten seated at their own table. The waitress coming over to return Tommy’s card, and hand him a receipt, had been the perfect excuse for them to leave after fifteen of the worst minutes of Bucks life, making an excuse that he and Tommy had bought tickets to the movies. (“It’s sci-fi,” Buck had shrugged, impressed at the way he was internalising his own panic attack as he managed to splutter a sentence out. Eddie had looked almost hurt, when Buck had blurted that he and Tommy were going to the cinema without him. “You wouldn’t like it.”)

“You handled that well,” Tommy said, as they left the restaurant and stepped out into this cool evening air. His words were soft, and gentle – genuine, even. As though he really meant it.

Buck was baffled, frankly.

“I handled that with as much grace as an elephant doing ballet,” Buck glared at his - his date? - incredulously. “Tommy, did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Do I need to take you to the emergency room?”

Tommy laughed, the sound an utter delight to Buck’s ears. He was quickly learning that he loved the sound of Tommy’s laugh. “No, I’m not concussed,” he rolled his eyes, feigning offence. “It was a genuine compliment. I think you handled that really well, Evan.”

Buck filed the gooey feeling he got in the pit of his stomach he got when Tommy called him ‘Evan’ away to obsess over at another time. “R-really?” he hated the way he sounded so unsure, so uncertain – but he knew he needed to start embracing his own discomfort in the midst of all of this. Being – being newly bisexual was going to be uncomfortable, for a while, but Buck was realising it wasn’t a bad sort of uncomfortable. Weirdly, it was a good uncomfortable – like Buck was growing into his own skin, learning how to feel himself for the first time in his life. It would just take a little while, and it would take a few uncomfortable moments for him to figure out what this new version of Evan Buckley actually looked like.

No - not new. The true version.

“Yes, really,” Tommy nodded. He paused, glancing back at the restaurant. “How about we take a walk?” he suggested, gesturing vaguely at the miles of boardwalk and beach ahead of them. “I’m not in a rush – unless you are.”

“A walk sounds nice,” Buck agreed easily, because he didn’t want to go home just yet – and he didn’t want their date, however awkward and disastrous it had been, to end just yet. He liked spending time with Tommy.

They walked along in silence for a few minutes, Buck blushing like a schoolkid as he and Tommy’s shoulders bumped together.

“Look – coming out isn’t easy. It’s something you have to do over, and over again, for the whole of your life,” Tommy began. “I used to think that you did it once, and that was it, but you come out every time you meet someone new, every time you start a new job. It gets easier, with time, right? At some point – you come out so many times, it feels as familiar as breathing. But those first few times – those are hard.”

“I didn’t even come out,” Buck pointed out.

“You don’t have to,” Tommy shrugged. “And you’re deliberately not listening to my point.”

Buck couldn’t help but grin. “I like to be obtuse sometimes. Explain it to me again?”

“You think you’re cute,” Tommy poked Buck in the side, clearly enjoying the way it made Buck squirm. “My point is, the first time you say those words to someone – your friends, your family – it’s hard. It’s okay to give yourself some time to prepare, to not want to do it right away.”

“Shouldn’t – shouldn’t I want to come out?”

“It’s not an obligation,” Tommy shrugged, gently redirecting Buck to a bench. It was a peaceful spot, the sound of the waves lapping against the shore a peaceful sound as they sat. “Society is like – it’s structured in a way that makes it so if you’re queer, there’s this expectation that you have to divulge these deeply personal things about yourself to everyone you meet. It’s not exactly fair, is it?”

Buck had never thought about it that way before. “No,” his brow furrowed. “It’s not very fair at all.”

“If you don’t want to come out, you don’t have to,” Tommy said. “But it does feel good to come out. If I can give you some like – advice, I guess. It’s a freeing feeling.”

“I’d like to come out,” Buck managed after a minute or two of silence. “I’ve been thinking about it since – since you kissed me,” he paused, feeling heat rise in his cheeks as he looked at Tommy. Tommy, to his credit, tried to swallow his pleased smile. “I feel more like myself than I ever have before. Like – like there was a part of me that was missing, and I didn’t even know it wasn’t there, and now I know it what it is, and what was missing, I feel more like myself than I ever have before in my life.”

Tommy’s smile was bright. “I’m glad to hear that, Buck.”

“I’d like to come out,” Buck repeated, twisting so he could face Tommy. “I just wasn’t prepared to do it on our first date, if I’m honest.”

“And that’s why I’m telling you that you handled it well,” Tommy nudged. “You knew you weren’t ready to have that conversation, there and then, so you came up with an excuse, and got us out of there.”

“You got us out of there,” Buck pointed out. Tommy had been the one to play along and say they’d be late for the movie, if they didn’t leave, there and then. “I didn’t even say thank you for buying dinner. I’m such a bad first date.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re a great first date.”

Buck huffed out a disbelieving breath. “I was basically mid-panic attack the entire time, Tommy, you don’t have to lie to me to save my feelings.”

“I’m not lying,” Tommy shrugged. “If there’s one thing you should know about me, Evan, it’s that I don’t lie. You’ll probably be sick of my honesty, in a few weeks.”

“In a few weeks? You – you want to keep doing this?”

“Why do you sound so unsure? Have I done something to make you think I don’t want to keep doing this?”

“N-no,” Buck paused for a second. “It’s kind of the opposite, actually.”

Tommy was quiet, giving Buck the space – and the silence – he needed to collect his thoughts. Buck was grateful for it.

“I don’t have the best dating history,” Buck admitted. “One day, further down the line, when I’m sure you’re not going to run away, I’ll tell you all the reasons why – but it sort of all boils down to childhood trauma and my deep-rooted abandonment issues,” he tried his best to give Tommy a smile, turn the admission into a joke. “So, I just – I end up picking the wrong people to date. I chase the wrong people. And now – now you’re here, and you’re being so kind, and understanding, I don’t really know what to do with it.”

“You could enjoy it,” Tommy offered, and it sounded so simple, when Tommy put it that way. Buck could just enjoy it. He could enjoy dating a man – a kind, sweet, very handsome man. He could enjoy the way he felt entirely out of his depth when Tommy offered him nothing but kindness, expecting nothing in return.

He could enjoy it.

He wanted to enjoy it.

“How the hell are you real?” Buck couldn’t help but breathe out, shaking his head. Tommy was just – a dream come true, in so many ways, and Buck didn’t know how he got so lucky to have him be interested in Buck. It felt so new, and exciting – none of the existential dread Buck normally felt as he tried to make relationships fit into his life when clearly, they never would.

He could see how Tommy could fit into his life. They worked the same job, so Tommy understood the crazy hours and long shifts. Tommy already knew so many of Buck’s most important people – and liked them – and he liked Buck. He actually liked Buck.

It seemed silly, to keep coming back to that, but Buck hadn’t always felt as though the people he dated him, really liked him. Abby liked the idea of him. Taylor liked the story they made. Natalia liked the fact he had died. Buck didn’t exactly have the best track record of people liking him for who he was, flaws and all – and okay, after one date, Tommy didn’t know his flaws so intimately, but he’d just witnessed Buck having a meltdown in a restaurant and he wasn’t running away.

He was sitting on a bench, listening to Buck.

Buck could definitely enjoy that.

“My mom hasn’t spoken to me since I came out,” Tommy said, after a few more minutes of silence. Buck’s expression must have turned to one of absolute horror, because Tommy gave him a reassuring look. “You told me something about yourself – so I’m telling you something about me.”

“Tommy, that’s horrible – I’m sorry.”

Tommy shrugged. “I’d be lying if I said it was okay,” he hummed thoughtfully. “But one of my very favourite things about being queer is that you find a family for yourself in this community. You know? Well – of course you know. You’ve done that with the 118.”

Buck shuffled a little closer. “I’d like to do that with the queer community too. As long as you don’t mind being my like – gay Yoda.”

Tommy snorted, the sound an utter delight amongst all the background noise of the boardwalk, people going about their Saturday evenings, unaware that Buck was having the most life-changing night of his life. “You’re secretly such a nerd,” he shook his head. “I’m happy to be your gay Yoda, Buck.”

“Yeah, but – what do you get out of it?”

Tommy fixed him with a look. “Buck,” he reached out, hand brushing against Buck’s palm. “I get to have you.”

And –

Oh.

Was that enough?

“It’s enough,” and oh – Buck must have said that part out loud, Tommy’s expression endearingly soft as he nudged Buck. “I promise. You’re more than enough.”

Buck would probably cry, if he spoke there and then, so he settled for doing something he’d been wanting to do since Tommy had knocked on his door at exactly eight pm that evening, and he leaned in and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, soft, and sweet, a brief press of lips that still sent tingles down Buck’s spine as they broke apart.

He’d just kissed a man – in public.

That felt a lot like progress.

“I – I hope I’m not being too forward, when I ask this,” Tommy’s face was flushed in a way that Buck could only be delighted with. He’d made the other man blush. “But do you maybe want to come back to mine? Not – not for anything like that. I just don’t want this date to be over, and we could watch a movie.”

Buck had absolutely zero fucking intentions of watching a movie if he got to go inside of Tommy’s apartment. “Yeah,” he smiled, hooking a pinky finger around Tommy’s, not quite ready to hold his hand just yet. “A movie sounds great.”

[furiosophie]

He looks back down at the baby – Andy – with her lick of dark hair and her splotchy pink skin. Even though she can’t be more than a month old, probably not even, the resemblance to her father – to Hob’s friend – is already uncanny. She looks imperious, a little disapproving, like she’ll nap in his arms if she has to since she doesn’t want to be rude, but privately she thinks the conditions aren’t quite befitting an infant of her station.

Hob loves her instantly, instinctively, in a way that he thinks is going to be nearly impossible to get over.

real people by spqr (@andthepeople)

[digiblueslush]

Y’all I’m cooking a theory

So we’ve all come to the conclusion that *the prophecy* of FOB MCR DNP (and ignoring P!ATD) doing the whole shabang IS gonna happen at the LA show, but what if that’s not all? Like omg it’s just their wedding. Gerard’s officiating in the Joan of Arc fit, sister Daniel is somehow attending their wedding as a separate person, and every lesbian in the entire universe comes together as one and does that thing kinda like in my little pony where it’s super dark and them there’s the BRIGHTNESS LOVE PEACE KABOOM THINGY and then all of the world turns back to normal THATS GONNA HAPPEN. THE LES-BEAM. hatsune miku will also be there, I haven’t quite figured out her “role” in this situation yet. OMG THE BLACK PARADE GETS HAPPY I’m so smart AND THEY ANNOUNCE THEYRE UNCANCELLING YURI ON ICE SEASON 2/ICE ADOLESCENCE. We’re all serving too much cunt, so many political figures are gonna die

[arsenicflame]

you know youre a little too deep in the brainrot when "would it be fucked up to be straight in the society of Heven" is a genuine thought you have had and seriously debated with yourself

[sevlawless]

arabella + still being in love with seven

sevenbella series: [1/?]

jeanette winterson, written on the body / amyreads, infamous / lidia yuknavitch, the chronology of water: a memoir / leah horlick, for your own good / germaine de staël, madame de staël selected correspondence / lorde, writer in the dark / sue zhao, tumblr / edna st. vincent millay, letters / tristan, keep that to yourself / rebecca makkai, the great believers

[legobiwan]

Don't ask me about my day, only ask me about my SMB/SPM fanfics...

~~~~~~~~

Bowser tilts his head. “Your brother? You mean Greenie? What, he’s good with machines or something?”

Mario laughs. It’s absurd, given the amount of time they’ve spent together, that the topic never came up. He’s almost reticent to share the information with the Koopa King, wary Bowser might take the intel back with him after all was said and done, somehow find a way to exploit this tidbit for personal gain.

Two weeks ago, it would have been a legitimate concern. But now, the chances of them living through this adventure seem to be dwindling with each passing hour, the line between enemy and friend, once so clear in Mario’s mind, blurring to the point of non-existence. 

“Yeah, something like that,” Mario says. “He was going to be a mechanical engineer before we landed in the Mushroom Kingdom. Was always tinkering with some machine or vehicle when we were young.” God, Luigi had gotten into so much trouble the day he popped open the hood of their father’s repair van. 

“Huh,” Bowser crosses his arms, contemplating this new information. A moment later, he does a double-take, jaw hanging slightly open with whatever epiphany he’s just reached. “Wait, you mean into mechanics like that asshole we fought in the Whoa Zone?” Bowser takes his chin in his hand. “I thought he looked familiar.”

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[vivalas-vega]

Glen actually looks too good in hit man like wtf

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[plangentlyre]

thinking thoughts about sakimizu/mizusaki diner au wherein mizuki, local absentee of their school and a lover of all cute things, finds themself frequenting a particular diner a couple blocks away when they discover their idol, minori hanasato, was working there part time.

Too nervous to speak up to them and ask her for a picture, Mizuki accidentally bumps into another waitress, Saki Tenma, and gets spilled on by ice cold water. Saki startles at this and profusely apologizes to them to which Mizuki brushes her off with "it's okay, it's okay," admitting that it was also their fault for not paying attention as well.

This only seems to worsen the waitress's worried state as Saki nearly devolves into a meltdown which is where Mizuki decides to compliment her hair and comments how cute her hairstyle and pink dye was. Their diversion works as Saki jumps to say that Mizuki's hair looks even cuter, saying how the shade of their pink is so pretty to asking where they bought their clothes from so that she could wear it.

Just as Mizuki is about to say they were handmade, someone who they recognize to be Airi Momoi calls out to Saki for another order to deliver. Saki blushes when she realizes her negligence and promptly excuses herself, rushing off to the other side of the diner in a speed of light.

Dumbfounded but intrigued, Mizuki visits the diner again in hopes of attaining their idol's attention without coming off as too rude and creepy. This time, they pick out a nice table and orders for a simple burger and smoothie. Instead of Minori, however, Saki was the one who came up to them, carrying a notepad while sporting a rather cute gobsmacked expression when she notices Mizuki.

She tells them how sorry she was the other day and says that she'll even bring her an extra dish as compensation. Mizuki simply laughs at the girl's offer and stubbornness to continue apologizing and declines seeing as it was only an accident. Saki, this time, calms down and asks for their name. Realizing that they haven't properly introduced themselves, Mizuki tells her and redirects the question back to which she exclaims with a cheerful tone.

It was at this point that Mizuki notices a familiar figure running around the diner, seemingly getting chased at by a small dog. It was Minori, they conclude as soon as the girl turns toward their direction. Saki watches Mizuki's gaze glitter in that same awed manner as she does with her own idol and asks, "Oh! Are you by chance a fan?"

Mizuki becomes embarrassed at the question and fumbles to form a response before Saki giggles, also confessing that she, too, is a fan of Airi who's also in the same group as Minori. She also says that she was one of the reasons she decided to work here. "If you want, I can ask her to come over! She doesn't mind spending time with her fans. After all, she's very cool!"

Mizuki panics, flustered as they stop her. "There's no need! I feel like it would be more appropriate for me to ask her myself anyway. But at the same time... I..."

Saki smiles encouragingly at them, understanding of their predicament. "Alright! I'm sure you'll gather enough courage to come up to her!" She clears her throat. "Then, shall I take your order?"

It eventually becomes a routine. Mizuki wakes up, skips school whenever they want and comes into the diner, hyping themself up to talk to Minori before backpedaling at the last second. If not to uselessly waste their time staring longingly at the other girl, Saki would often come up to them for a nice chat. They would even pair up together to admire their respective idols.

Basing off from their previous meetings, Mizuki quickly learns how similar the two of them were. From their incredible taste of fashion to their obsession with cute things, it is an undeniable fact that Mizuki enjoys being with Saki. It's almost as if they were close friends.

Saki was too much of a great friend to have and though Mizuki has other friends who have known them since their darkest moments, something about the excitable and cute waitress has drawn them in with her charm. If not for their classmates' offhand comment about them smiling and laughing a lot lately, especially since they never come into school that often, Mizuki fails to stop that odd, bubbly feeling burning in their chest at the prospect of feeling welcomed and noticed. Unknowingly, that feeling continues to grow.

"You mean, you're also familiar with Shizuku Hinomori? I really envy you now, Saki-chan. How does it feel to be so lucky..." It was evening and Mizuki insisted on helping out Saki with cleaning the leftovers from the tables. They were, once more, chatting about idols most specifically the ones that they admire.

"Ehehe~ My brother is much more familiar with her but I do know her sister! We're childhood friends so that's probably why... We also attend the same school and I see her often too." Saki clinks two stacks of glasses together, carrying them gracefully to the kitchen with ease. When she returns, she sees Mizuki arranging the different sauces on the table.

She bursts into a smile. "I really appreciate you for helping me out, Mizuki! Airi-senpai would usually stay back for closing time to help me but it seems that they have an urgent meeting today, so-"

"Saki..." Mizuki cuts her off, their expression turning slightly sour. "How do you know if you admire someone?"

"Admire... someone?" Saki tilts her head, pondering. "Well, I can't really explain it well. But in Emu-chan's words, your heart would be all, "Wow!!!" and "Sparkly, sparkly!" when you're around them. And that, you also feel really really happy just being around in their presence! Like they're a very special person to you. Why do you ask?"

It was silent but then: "Do you... perhaps admire someone, Saki-chan?"

"Um, well... You know how I usually am when I talk about Airi-senpai ahaha. She is, after all, the one who made me really happy while I was still in the hospital. Even as her kouhai, she's still so amazing and very reliable whenever I'm in trouble. I really aspire to spread happiness like her someday..." Saki clutches the end of her skirt tightly, fighting off the urge to smile too giddily in front of Mizuki.

Saki dearly treasures her friends, and among them was Airi who she was fortunate to befriend at school. It was her that made her realize how precious it was to have so many people supporting her and Saki was all the more grateful to have them in her life. Even though at times, several things may be difficult with her condition, Saki fully intends on smiling through them and enjoying her youth to the fullest.

Besides, she sneaks a bashful peek at her pink-haired friend, it seems that she was experiencing another type of admiration. But she can't bear to admit it. Mizuki liked Minori, after all.

Unbeknownst to Saki's inner monologue, Mizuki deflates, a familiar feeling of pain twisting within them. "Ah... I see. Thank you for sharing to me, Saki."

The odd tone within their voice strikes Saki and before she can ask if there was something bothering them, Mizuki swings their bag over their shoulder and rushes out to the door. The sound of the bell rings across the silent diner, leaving a shocked Saki standing amidst its emptiness.

Mizuki doesn't visit the diner the next day nor did they come to another. Two days became four and soon a week has already passed since Saki had their fight. At least, that was what she believed it to be as Mizuki seems intent on ignoring her phone calls. Airi notices her distress and lack of energy, carefully asking her if everything's alright. Saki shakes her head and explains the situation to her.

Like a reliable senpai, Airi immediately catches on to the problem and tells Saki that there might have been a misunderstanding.

"They asked you if you admired someone, right?"

Saki forlornly wipes the grease off the counter with a frown. "That's right... they even looked a bit serious too..."

"I see, then when you answered, they seemed sad?"

"I guess," Saki purses her lips. "I-I don't understand, what are you implying, Airi-senpai?"

Airi looks at her patiently, "I don't want to assume... but it's likely that they mean a different type of admiration, you know..."

"You mean...?!" Saki widens her eyes with shock, her voice getting stuck in her throat.

It can't be true. Saki has seen the way Mizuki stares at her coworker. Obviously the glittery yearn in their eyes weren't hers to claim. And even if Mizuki told her she was cute, idols were much more cuter than some random waitress still trying to find her feet in the world.

She chews on her lips anxiously. "No way..."

Mizuki... likes me?

[cressida-cowper]

What are the five dumbest OUAT plotlines in your opinion?

well now you’ve done it. how can i even pick. gosh

in no particular order:

zelena. i love her but her plot line was stupid stupid stupid how are you angry at a woman who didn’t even know you existed for something her mother did years before she was born and who in fact got the worse end of the deal AND you’re making it her problem. girl be serious

all of season 5. it was gross and dumb and ruined almost every single character . the only good thing that came out of that was greg germann as hades

the season ?? one plot?? like i get what they were trying to do and it worked i guess but it would have been much better executed the good place style imo simply because i 1. hate nonlinear storytelling and 2. hate when the audience knows something is true that most/all but one of the characters does not

the black fairy . still NO answers on how she was so formidable or like. anything. there was 0 exposition on her motives and the ‘final battle’ was incredibly underwhelming . yeah she kidnapped kids but she didn’t ?? do anything to them?? why did she take them. why did she abandon rumple. why did she still hate him. where is the logic in any of this

the whole peter pan thing. they kept talking about how evil he was and how dangerous he was when he .. barely did Anything .. like at all. he was just annoying

[furiosophie]

the number one unspoken rule on the isd chimaera? do not, under any circumstances, disturb the admiral and his aide right after they've come back from a mission...

[celticwoman]

i said id text back everyone on discord once winter break started but as we know i got my period and i dont feel like thinking so i prommy ill answer everything next week 🫡

[tvrningout-archived]

pls know i’ve been spacing all day bc i’m thinking about chiyo and hyouka’s n.aruto verses

[the-kipsabian]

aight fellas im gonna make a few gifs and then im gonna attempt sleep

[nohriantomatoes]

Yea I'm vagueblogging but I blocked the person this is about

dear god I forgot how chronically online some people can be