#anyway. them

[sculien]

THE X FILES 10.04 – "Home Again"

[the-sage-libriomancer]

Shigure's relationship with Kyo drives me crazy. he doesn't hate Kyo in the slightest - in fact, he pities Kyo, and not in the condescending "oh you poor little boy, cursed to be a horrible, disgusting monster" sort of way that everyone else does. Shigure pities Kyo for the reason he should be pitied: he's just a kid caught up in a system so inhumane it can't possibly be survived without some seriously unhealthy coping mechanisms.

and it drives me crazy because - listen, Shigure is the only zodiac member who's emotionally aware enough to see the other zodiac members as exactly what they are. he knows Yuki is a severely traumatized kid who projects all of his self-hatred on a single convenient target. he knows Akito is really a scared little girl with a raging god complex (literally) and no concept of a healthy relationship. and he knows Kyo is a regular-ass human being who doesn't deserve to be locked up for the rest of his life just because some arbitrary system says so. he KNOWS it's stupid. he KNOWS it's ridiculous and unfair. and he has to share a house with Kyo knowing that Kyo is living with a sword over his head, hating himself and hating others in perfect tandem because he has no other way of coping with the insane amounts of negativity he's had to deal with his entire life.

but the thing about Shigure is that he KNOWS all of this, and the same time he doesn't really CARE. he feels sorry for Kyo, but an apathetic sort of pity, a disinterested "this is how it is. such a shame." sort of pity. in some ways he's worse than the other zodiacs because he DOES see Kyo as a person, someone he likes being around even, but he still considers Kyo below his attention because all his focus is on Akito and breaking the curse. and sure, once the curse is broken Kyo will theoretically be set free with the rest of them, but that's more of a coincidental side effect than anything. despite being in a much more dangerous and precarious mental space AND comfortably in Shigure's reach, Kyo is about as much a priority for Shigure as Ritsu or Momiji.

and it drives me CRAZY because i think Shigure does start actively caring about Kyo as the series goes on, but it's hard to tell when that happens and to what extent. when Kazuma told Shigure he planned to reveal Kyo's true form and Shigure said he was going too far - whose sake was it for? was Shigure trying to protect Kyo, who would be hideously traumatized/emotionally scarred by such a cruel betrayal? was he trying to protect Kyo and Tohru's relationship, which was still formulating and might, under such severe testing, ultimately end up damaged beyond repair? was he only trying to protect Tohru, who wasn't ready to be burdened by such a horrible aspect of the curse so soon, or perhaps simply didn't deserve it? or was it all for the sake of himself, trying to protect his still-forming plans of using Tohru's positive effect on the Sohmas to break the curse?

Shigure cares about Kyo, but they're not close and Kyo clearly isn't a priority. he treats Kyo like a person - offering him genuine advice, teasing him like he teases anyone else, even speaking up on his behalf once or twice - and yet he's too entrenched in the long game to spare much active interest in Kyo. for a very long time, he doesn't care about Kyo the way he cares about Yuki or Tohru, and it's never made clear when exactly that changed. and the thing that gets me about this whole situation is that right from the start, Shigure is in a position where he can meet Kyo at his level - as equals, just one human being to another - but he doesn't, because Shigure is a chessmaster, Shigure is someone who observes and calculates, Shigure never steps in unless one of his chess pieces makes a wrong move and he absolutely has to.

it drives me crazy. Shigure drives me crazy. this series drives me so so crazy.

[the-one-with-spider-brainrot]

fucking around with more gijinka designs of course I doodle the husbands of all time

[dathen]

Still being normal about Them

(picrew used)

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

god, i’m so lovesick / what have you done to me?

[itsalwaysforyou]

hold me together.

kenny ortega, descendants 2 / holly black, red glove / nicole homer, underbelly / ada limon, a new national anthem / k c cramm, christmas eve forever / kenny ortega, descendants 3 / the crane wives, curses / silas denver melvin, let dead dogs lie / natalie wee, least of all

[karliahs]

bnha fic: break something

fandom: my hero academia relationships: aizawa shouta & yamada hizashi wordcount: 5k summary:

Reeling in the aftermath of the training camp and the battle of Kamino Ward, Shouta and Hizashi attempt to blow off some steam.

[paper-cities]

[nerdinsandals]

dawnway

Them!! 💚💙✨

I don't usually see their names blended like they do in other fandoms but it's actually kind of cute! Haha

[ritasanderson]

[angrycloudcrown]

can I just say. twilight and spikes dynamic makes me sob. I've been rewatching mlp recently and ive gotten to the crystal empire part 2 and the fact spikes worst fear was twilight not needing him anymore and sending him away is just. auaaghhhhhh owww... "thats a fear that will never come true" OW.WWWWW.W...

im a sucker for family dynamics they care about each other literally the siblings ever ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[beevean]

If you're still doing these, ♗ for Isaacul?

♗: One falling asleep with their head in the other’s lap.

For Dracul, it was a duty and a pleasure, to take care of his doll.

Every dress Isaac wanted, Dracul would buy. He allowed it to try new shades of lipstick, on its lips and on his. And he could spend an entire night with his doll's head in his lap, sofly purring while he braided her growing hair, strand by strand.

Only one request took him off guard: "Sire, just this once, allow me to take care of you."

And it was Dracul's turn to lay his head on Isaac. Oh, had he known, the bliss of being loved.

[theultracharmingladynoire]

what if i just kms

[pliablehead]

[boydykedevo]

[thelordofgifs]

tfs essay? tfs essay. Today I would like to go on a lengthy lengthy ramble about Maedhros and Maglor’s relationship in the third arc and literally nobody can stop me.

Dedicating this to @and-the-times-we-had both because I promised an essay in an ask game thing and because you have been the most encouraging enthusiastic kind reader since literally part 1! 💕

Spoilers up to part 30 below the cut.

One of my favourite things about the third arc of tfs – i.e. parts 21-30 – has been examining the dynamic between Maedhros and Maglor, which following the events of part 19 and 20 has actually changed quite significantly from their dynamic in canon, in my opinion. (It is, it turns out, possible to take one of the most codependent claustrophobic relationships in the entire book and make it even worse.) This is mainly because Maedhros stabbed Maglor, and they’re both rather traumatised by the whole incident. Maedhros, in particular, spends all of part 19 having a breakdown about it and then an identity crisis in part 20:

But he always thought – he always thought he was, if nothing else, beyond reproach as an elder brother.

It was only ever a delusion. Amrod and Celegorm both died because Maedhros failed to protect them, after all.

But this is different. He has killed Maglor himself – no need for metaphor. He held his little brother with one arm and drove a blade into his side with the other.

Who is he, if not that? What is left of him if Maglor is gone – if he cannot be Maglor’s protector anymore, because Maglor is dead – because Maedhros killed him?

Although Maedhros does find the strength to do the right thing in part 20 – he finds Maglor in the cave, and asks him to stay – he finishes that section of the story with these questions unanswered, and spends most of the third arc quietly grappling with them. The way I write them, both Maedhros and Maglor define themselves very strongly by who they are to each other (PSA! this is not healthy!) and Maglor, too, bases a lot of his identity on the fact that Maedhros needs him, and has needed him since Angband. It is, I think, the only way he can attempt to atone for what he thinks of as the worst thing he ever did: leaving Maedhros there. Curufin, who is very stupid and also occasionally very smart, points this out to him when he tells him, “You don’t know who you are if you aren’t someone he needs,” – a line which rather haunts Maglor, later, because he doesn’t really have a way to refute it:

You don’t know who you are, said Curufin, if you aren’t someone he needs.

But I am, Maglor thinks now, with Maedhros’ head resting on his knee, I am, I am.

(part 22)

and

You don’t know who you are if you aren’t someone he needs, said Curufin.

What does Curufin know about anything? Maglor asks himself angrily.

(part 25)

And it's true! Maedhros does need Maglor. He tells Maglor so via ósanwë in part 20, and Maglor clings to that knowledge all through the third arc, as Maedhros' mental state slowly deteriorates, and he relies on Maglor more and more heavily. But Maglor is still scared! He's still defining himself far too much as Maedhros' Support Person:

“Will you not reach for me?” Maglor says, desperately.

What will he do, if Maedhros walks away? What good is he, if Maedhros does not need him?

(part 29)

So! basically. they aren't very normal about each other. But, importantly, Maedhros starts to realise this! He realises that he asks a lot of Maglor, and that Maglor is unable to deny him anything ever, and that Maglor is absolutely terrified by the prospect of Maedhros not needing him anymore. So in part 22:

“I ask so much of you,” says Maedhros, “and you keep on giving it—”

Maglor begins the painstaking work of unravelling the messy braids he has scattered through Maedhros’ hair. “I will,” he says, “I always will;” and Maedhros shudders.

those last three words are important: and Maedhros shudders. I tried to keep a fairly consistent theme running through this arc that Maglor keeps telling Maedhros, in words and actions, I love you I love you I love you, and the more he says it the more upset Maedhros gets: both because he doesn't think he deserves Maglor's love after he stabbed him, and because he is beginning to realise that this relationship is deeply deeply codependent. (I deliberately avoided Maedhros' POV for most of the arc, both for suspense reasons and because being inside his head would have been... upsetting, so a lot of this had to be subtextual, but I hope it came through a little bit!) So we get weird exchanges like this one:

Maglor stares at his fingers. "It isn't the right answer," he says. "I don't know if I can explain why. Yes, that Silmaril does not belong to Thingol, and yet..." He looks up at Maedhros. "But I will ask her, if you command it."

Maedhros takes a sharp step back, and then another. "No. No!" His face is white. He takes a breath and smiles, with noticeable effort. "I am not your lord any more, Káno. Himring is fallen. You need not take command from me."

and this one:

“All right,” he says. “I will not fight if you do not wish it, Nelyo. I know your heart will be easier if I am safe.”

But when Maedhros steps back to look at him there is a flash of wild despair in his eyes. Maglor cannot understand it.

(Maedhros: please please please do this thing for me

Maglor: I don’t really want to but for you anything

Maedhros, internally: WHY ARE YOU DOING WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO THIS IS TERRIBLE)

When the idea of Maedhros willingly going to Sauron first came to me, I was both intrigued and rather intimidated by the obvious question: why on earth would Maedhros do this when he knows how deeply it will hurt Maglor? I think the answer I settled on is quite satisfying – he is doing it because it will hurt Maglor, because Maglor’s forgiveness causes him extreme distress and he wants his brother to hate him instead. This is why he keeps telling Maglor that he does not deserve to be forgiven, and that Maglor should hate him; and Maglor keeps trying to reassure him by telling him that he does forgive him, and will never hate him, and Maedhros keeps getting more and more upset by these reassurances. I don’t think there’s anything Maglor could have done differently! It is the very fact of his love that is hurting Maedhros, and it’s not like he’s just going to stop being weirdly unhealthily devoted to his brother. That’s been the cornerstone of his identity for coming up on five hundred years, after all.

Anyway, Maedhros is beginning to understand this, and in part 30 sums up the situation pretty concisely:

That, of course, is the problem: that Maedhros needs Maglor, and hurts him by needing him so, puts shadows under his eyes and an anxious cast to his sweet melodious voice – and that he cannot stop taking from him, and Maglor will never stop giving it.

Will you not reach for me? Maglor said, his voice jagged with fear; and so Maedhros reached. He always reaches. Because Maglor needs Maedhros to need him, and so they bind themselves ever tighter to each other, and it cannot – it cannot go on like this, not when Maedhros looked upon the person he loved more than anything and readied himself to kill him.

Maedhros needs Maglor, and Maglor needs Maedhros to need him: the root of the problem. They're both perfectly aware of this situation! But Maglor is... honestly not that concerned by it, whereas to Maedhros it has become untenable, both because he doesn't think he deserves Maglor's devotion and because he can tell the dynamic hurts Maglor.

("Will you not reach for me?", for the record, is the third arc's equivalent of part 19's "Ask me to stay and I'll stay" - both lines that Maglor says to Maedhros, desperate attempts to get Maedhros to reaffirm that he needs Maglor. In part 19, Maedhros' response is to tell Maglor he cannot do that, and then in part 20 he does ask Maglor to stay. This sequence of events reverses in parts 29 and 30: Maedhros does reach for Maglor in part 29, and then decides not to in part 30. You only ever had to ask – but he doesn't.)

... You can love someone very deeply, and understand them better than anyone else does, and still hurt them terribly, I think.