#anyways applications open
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when i have an identity and life crisis i think about being a lesbian and having a very hot gf
#despite being an agender trans man the thought of having a hot medditarranean gf and being in love with her doesn't sound bad#tiddies in my face#either way i win#tbh whichever comes atp thats why i call myself bi and agender#im too busy to care about my identity i have a job and studies to do#but having a hot medditarranean girl on my face sounds great#anyways applications open#take it while it's still warm#vic thoughts
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Testing my new tablet by drawing my latest obsession heh,, Perhaps you could say my latest,, ,,,,,, Online Obsession 😏
#adisorn moore#online obsession#yeth its wonky i havent drawn much lately.....#anyways everyone should play the OO demo i feel crazy i need him SO BAD#so sad i didnt know about it when the beta test applications were open i need to play more SOOO BAD!! EEE#im so excited for the release im gonna buy it for everyone who dares to speak to me just like ms!h
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do you guys know that youtube dating show called the button. because i was watching it with my friend the other day bc we were bored and we were like this seems funny and i somehow got a boat boys fic idea based off of it. so if i make a fic about the button dating show will people underdtand or is it too niche
#let me know guys#my idea is just like. they just broke up#jimmy n joel were watching the show#jimmys like i dare u to submit an application#joels like bitch don't tempt me and he does it#and he gets accepted or wtv thats not the important part#anyways he shows up and his turn comes around and after a couple rounds hes sitting in the chair alone waiting for the next person#and someone walks up#and hes like Fuck i know that insufferable swaggering and that grating voice#etho sits down in front of him n just kinda blinks twice like what the hell r u doing here#they both open their mouths to speak but joels talking before etho can even get a word in#crossing his arms saying what do you think you're doing#etho rolls his eyes and says i could ask you the same thing#they bicker for like two more seconds and they're both really annoyed bc their break up ended not very amicably#the button flashes red#joel glares at etho “don't you fucking dare press that i'm not done getting mad at you"#etho looks amused leans back in his seat and doesn't press the button#after a second the button is like “i'm sensing some tension here”#joel snorts#and stuff happens. i dont know#do i write it yes or no#boat boys#smalletho#trafficblr#hermitblr#nya talks
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I’m on day 2 of a really bad migraine and I’ve come to the conclusion that I would have been really good at being a sickly Victorian woman who takes to her bed for weeks at a time and must on occasion go away to the seaside to recover from The Horrors
#this is a hard lifestyle to maintain when living alone btw#sickly Victorian (me with a migraine that made me about 80% blind) stumbling into the kitchen in search of Diet Pepsi#to soothe my stomach humors#or something#anyway applications for diet soda and bedside vigil performer are now open#life
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Need a girlfriend
#need a gf to photograph all the time#to crochet for#to knit for#to draw her#paint her#make things dor her#send flowers for her#text them 24/7#laugh together#be together#for each other#to wrote in my diary about#hastag please crush love me back haha#anyways#id do anything for a gf#i have so much love in me i have to hive it to someone#im scared#because i once gave it and they didnt take it fully#but i wont be scared#for her i would never#myyyy lonlinessss#but fr#applications are open or smth shhhdhe#im too sleepy
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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just applied for a part time job 😔 ough if im being honest
#do i WANT to work 2 jobs? not at all!#however i DO want to build my funds up some and thus i must#especially considering. Everything.#and with how wishywashy my job has been this year having a 1. fallback job that i already have in case i DO end up being laid off#2. have an active income in case we have MORE weeks off (which i already know we will in december)#and 3. just have a little more money in case of emergencies and so i can have a bit of spending money#so really aside from i know it'll make me Tired it's a good idea :(#especially with trying to run a fandom event OUGH#but that's only of i GET the job and im only applying for the one bc its at the craft store i worked at before#so i already KNOW how to do most of it it'll just be about refreshing and relearning and learning the few new stuff i know is there#anyway. widh me luck.#i DID saybi am currently employed and that i don't have open availability which ik is :/ when job hunting#cus computers will automatically throw out your application#and also i gave myself time on the end of my Big Job shoft to go home and shower before i would be willing to be at the Small Job#so we'll see if i even get an interview or anything lmaooo#shh ac
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Hi. Sorry to bother you. Was just wondering if you were working on anything Ted lasso at the moment? I've been rereading all your works! They're my fav
Thank you for the ask, I'm always happy to take questions! Unfortunately I continue to be incapable of working on more than one fic at a time, and at the moment, the one fic is my original sci-fi novel Arson and Other Fires. That being said, I do have ~4 TL fics in various stages of planning and might either take a break between parts 1 and 2 of AaOF to work on them, or take another stab at doing the multiple WIPs thing once I'm free from the admittedly self-imposed torment nexus that is applying to PhD programs.
Here's what I have outlined for 5 times someone suspected something was up with Jamie, +1 time they said something about it:
One (season 1): who remembers their first drink of alcohol, anyway?
Two (2x03ish): Sam mentions he got the idea for the Dubai Air protest because his dad was upset the team had them as a sponsor, and suddenly Jamie's being... weird every time he gets a phone call from Ola
Three: Things are weird after Wembley. Isaac tries to be a good captain.
Four: In which Roy feels bad for slapping food out of Jamie's hand, and Jamie doesn't understand why
Five: Jamie's depressed and talkative
+One: Jamie comes back form Manchester with a manic energy and a head full of stories about his dad. Everyone else is alarmed
#ted lasso fanfic#jamie tartt#asks#thank you!#both my jobs are the type where there's a really clear delineation between when you're working and when you're not#so i am somewhat optimistic about actually being able to do the multiple wip thing for once#it's just that the timeslot i would be using in my day to work on another wip is being taken up with the torment nexus you know how it is#applications for the main canadian graduate funding competition are due in 10 days so soon i'll be free#by which i mean phd program applications open mid-october so i'll be busy with that instead 🫠#anyway sorry for complaining in the tags i appreciate you and i'm glad you enjoy my fics!#kvetch oc#(i almost reflexively signed off on this with my actual real meat-space name like an email. so that's how my day is going)
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what ify ou wanted to hug a character so bad before next session even started that you litrally just drew what you wanted to do. aka GOD I AM FRAME ONE JUMPING ABADDON IN A HUG NEXT SESSION
Bonus ducks



surely killing a goddess will not have consequences. surely not.
#my art#graphite scribbles#Pirate Campaign#dnd ocs#Enososin Folook#Abaddon Diallos#apologies for being. so incredibly ill. honestly forever apologizing for that its detrimental to my sleep schedule#im literally chewing on the bars of my enclosure (my word document)#yes I did cry. yes I ABSOLUTELY lied about it bc I was tyring to Not do that#and YES that is the stress symbol from Darkest Dungeon because by GOD it is applicable here I felt that shit in REAL LIFE#anyways. yeah im normal about abaddon being gutted open like a fish and being cooked and then eaten in front of us before being revived#very#incredibly#no r m al#rea’s trash
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And what if I just moved to the other side of the country. What then.
#I'm just gonna AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#applying to jobs on the other coast because I plan to move there anyway so why not now. may as well. nothing here's calling me back so.#pro: get out of this house#con: fukcin RENT#potentially not as big of an issue as I thought though? family friend may let me stay?? God Please#con 2: siblings are in this house and I'd miss them :(#AND MY DOG I'D MISS MY BABY#Con 3: GROCERIES ARE SO EXPENSIVE MAN#but also pros: freedom. potentially new friends. I could shave my hair and no one would care.#anyway pray for me I submited one job application that took 45 minutes and there's another three tabs still open#those are Tomorrow's Problem
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fitcheck + haul from tonight's local art market🐉🪷
#j.visuals#this yuanlingpao is my bestfriend it gets literally so many compliments every time i wear it<33#i had Such a good time man. this might sound crazy but I love dressing up and seeing my friends !!!!!#also went to a friend's gallery opening..got to converse w a bestie abt our recent literature adventures...literally healing for my soul😌#OH and talked to some ppl running a local queer zine that takes rolling applications for any artform so like....#jae dragonji published zine contributor era perhaps???..... we shall simply wait and see!#anyways. how is everyone hi !!!
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Hmmmmm okay you all can ignore this lmao I’m just going to Complain On The Internet for a bit because I’m pretty sure it’s that or tell the next person to say hi my entire life story, and no one wants that, least of all me ✌️
#I imagine I am extremely boring to be around right now lmao but anyway#nothing’s unfixable and nothing is stuck like this#and if the version of me from a year ago saw me and found out I’d got back into acting? like I have an agent now and I’m getting roles#and auditions and stuff? past me would be so excited!!! and present me is too!#but it’s just everything else#99% sure I’m going to fail the panel resit on Wednesday#which is fine I mean I already have a master’s degree! no one NEEDS another postgraduate degree lol#at least not in my line of work#but I suppose another string to the bow would’ve been nice#anyway I’m sending off all these job applications so I can get out of Freelance Copywriter Hell#but it’s just rejection after rejection and sure I can manage as a freelancer but it’s shitty and unpredictable#and even with the cat I hate being at home it’s so quiet and empty#and sure I have friends but none of them are within ‘text to say I’m coming over’ distance#and I’m not close with any of them#I’ve known some of them for years but the ones I used to be close to have moved on#like my deepest friendships are mostly just ‘send funny meme/bitch about work’ friends#honestly the closest I’ve been with anyone recently was going out-out with the cast and crew form one of the shorts I’m working on#but like. we are Work Friends you know. a lot of them knew each other already but there are lines I can’t cross if we’re all gonna stay#*stay professional#oh and then there’s my grandmother’s funeral on Friday and I’m so angry for reasons I don’t understand#like I’m not angry at her for being dead. I didn’t even really cry about it#but it’s just been ‘hmm I could kick a wall right now’ for weeks now#I don’t even know what’s wrong with me recently#I keep trying to record music stuff but every time I open my mouth to sing I just want to snap the microphone cable#and if I was sad that would be one thing but I’m not#I’m just like… flat???? like I showed up somewhere and forgot to bring myself#does that make any sense#and I don’t want to be around my family on Friday and I don’t know why it’s not really fair to them#but I don’t even want to hear myself talk right now never mind anyone else#anyway it’s fine. cry about it then get a grip lmao
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i'm gonna mom's spaghetti all over my floor—I got my computer setup from my new job today and like 😭😭😭 I had my brother (terminal Gamer™, builds PCs, in school for IT, etc.) take a look, and I guess the monitors alone are fucking fantastic for a corporate setup. like the baby graphic designer's dream for colour accuracy/reproduction,,, AND it's properly calibrated 😭 I'm so fucking hype but also anxious enough that my brain is jello and bees
for comparison: I'm currently working from a 2015 MacBook Pro (13" display, no external monitors) that I won from a portfolio entrance award back in 2019. I've worked that poor thing to the gates of hell and back. And now the old girl sounds like a jet engine if I dare open Photoshop with one (1) chrome tab in the background (not to mention those instances where you need Photoshop + illustrator + InDesign open at the same time. I am constantly in fear that I'll give it a circuit board stroke or something)
#swinging violently between fuck my stupid baka life and fuck it we ball#the big thing that makes me so anxious is that i'm skipping junior designer straight to “intermediate” designer#so like it's way higher stakes for my actual experience level#though i *was* super open about it all through my application + interview process so they know exactly how inexperienced i am#so i guess that's a good sign if they hired me anyways?#anyways now to figure out how to fit all this on my desk lol i might need to buy a bigger one when i get my first pay#elkk.txt
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Introduced my mom to Chappell Roan yesterday and she was so into it. She kept saying how it made her feel like the kind of music she used to rock out to in the 80's - Mom was a big Cyndi/Pat/Madonna/Bonnie girl. "I love that there's this whole new generation of girls who have someone who's doing that kind of thing. They'll be getting ready to go out and playing her the same way I'd play all of my girls."
Anyway Chappell there's an adorable tiny blonde lady in Virginia who witch-cackled at your "wand and a rabbit" line and who thinks your music is the absolute tits, and her kid agrees.
#chappell roan#my 22-year-old coworker got me into her music and I cannot stop listening#she's so FUN#I was doing the hot to go dance in my car the other day and fully forgot people could see me#whatever my sun roof was open and the volume was UP#this millennial loser was having an absolute ball I don't care#and obviously she's not JUST for girls#but also she is such girl music you know what I mean? in a way that transcends gender. it's “girl” in mood not application#anyway i'm so nonbinary it's almost comical but she activates my “pink pajamas at a sleepover in a 90s movie” energy all the same
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got invited to interview for a job I didn't even apply to????
#i had the application open and half filled out but the tab reloaded and i lost all my progress#but they texted me today and said they'd like to interview me#they should already have my info (even what i didnt put) because i applied back in september also and it made me some sort of account#(they accepted but i had to turn it down because i realized i had applied to the wrong job. the one they just invited me to interview for is#the right one)#this whole situation is absurd#finn says shit#anyway wish me luck in getting hired#this is my dream job in terms what i want to do right now. it's a summer camp job so i look good to them because while i have no workplace#experience I have experience with them doing their counseler in training program#ive been going to this place as a camper since i was i think seven years old#this is my first year that im too old to attend as a camper so im trying to get a job instead#which is a pretty good answer to “why do you want to work here” i think
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Augjydjduvrydjrhthtdh im gonna have to make a choice
#who knows choice may be made for me based on when/if i apply to the apt and if its approved or not#but DAMN its really tempting to just say yes to the guy with a damn nice house and 2 cats#the commute would be annoying cause itd be longer but the guy is really chill he has CATS the neighborhood looks good and the house itself#is very nice actually if a bit bare cause he moved in himself like. 6 months ago apparently#i mean i could actually put my bike to use if i go with him who knows#but augjrhdudntg#and i feel kinda bad cause like. i am open upfront that there is a place im already very interested in#but that im still looking around in case it doesnt work out#i just hope its not like. getting other peoples hopes up/they stop taking applicants??? cause its not a guarantee for either of us rn yknow?#anyways#amber's shit you can ignore
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