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panchams · 9 months

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long time, no see

happy 2024! the website layout on here has changed so dramatically that i can barely recognize it. i hate to admit that it took me a couple of minutes to find my followers...

anyways, hey! it's been a while. i jumped ship off of here... god... who knows how long that was? i genuinely feel like it was a permanent move circa 2015. but that's not what im here to talk about.

after the loss of twitter circles, i've struggled finding a place to put my thoughts. don't worry, this blog definitely won't be it but i thought it would be fun to put a little reflection on here as my final post (probably forever?) on this funny blogging website that i decided to use back in 2009 (I'm pretty sure my archives go that far back.... which is certainly something i cherish to see how much I've changed)

so many of you either have known me as eddie, edward, mukuro, bajime, hajime..... lord knows this list goes on. im eddie! or if you want to use my online user, i go by haunter now. a lot has changed since i stopped using this platform regularly! i think i hard quit tumblr maybe around 2016? you can see on my profile that i came back and reblogged some things, but i think it was around the time of my twitter bot's birth (@nintendoqt) when i really stopped using it permanently.

i'm writing this as a reflection of where i've been and where i came from when i first started using this funny website. im officially a couple of months away from graduating college with a bachelors in computer science! that means I'll be a real deal certified software engineer this coming may.

but don't you worry! i got some real time experience as a software engineer last year, right before my senior year began. i worked as a software engineer for the military/government! yeah, that's right... tumblr user Panchams was a military scientist (intern, but it counts). crazy right? and in just a couple of months i'll be hitting the biggest milestone of my life so far which is college graduation.

back when i began this blog, it was towards the end of 2009 and my myspace girlfriend at the time karina recommended i join because the community from our beloved myspace was jumping ship. i jumped in and well, the rest is history.

2009 eddie was a fidgity, undiagnosed autistic relentless kid. it's kind of crazy looking back on that era because i'm so proud of kid me going out of my way to socialize by going to conventions at every possible event he could go to. i would even wear cosplay and force myself out of my comfort zone to talk and take pictures with complete strangers.

to summarize my academic journey to save some space here, i really sucked at math. my math classes were so horrible, i actually got placed senior year in high school in the lowest math possible for seniors (something like college math help course or something, while the other kids were doing calc 1 or 2). but look at me now, baby! i went from pre-algebra all the way to calculus 2 in college, as well as discrete mathematics (possibly the hardest math class anyone outside of a math degree could ever take). i passed them all! it wasn't easy. i failed calculus 1 on my first try. my community college professor even told our entire class in a very vague way that we should commit suicide via bullet if we didn't pass it cuz we would never pass if we couldn't pass his class lol.

caught myself yapping there for a second. anyways, i really just wanted to say that i was a fidgety autistic child with such huge dreams and wonders. you can see throughout my entire blog's lifecycle that i've felt a special connection to characters like pokemon's red, sasuke from naruto, mukuro from katekyo, cloud from final fantasy 7 et etc.... you get it!

i think my life could've easily been one of complacency and laziness. after all, i am the only one in my immediate family to have attended college or even be in STEM whatsoever. my father was a horse trainer and my mom did random odd jobs/cleaning jobs as a kid. i could've easily been stuck forever in poverty and never aspired to do anything with my life. outlets like tumblr, gaia, twitter, youtube, the list goes on but these shaped me in ways that i am beyond thankful for.

as well as pokemon and the other games i mentioned, they gave me a lifeline. those characters i hooked onto as a kid which basically shaped how my personality is... i genuinely wouldn't have it any other way.

what is blud yapping about!!!! i end this weird ramble yapping session to update where my life is and where im headed. I've mentioned graduation (LETS FUCKING GOOO!) but i am beyond excited to be a big boy software engineer (no intern in the title!)

i'm pining for the bay area after graduation. i know, i sound like a lunatic going straight to san francisco as a new grad but.... you only live once! how cliche right, a new software dev moving to san francisco... the story writes itself.

don't worry, i have backup plans! if i can't make enough I'll be sure to live amongst the cows in arkansas (maybe oregon?! who knows.) big things are coming into my life, an entire chapter of my life finishing (the college years? academy saga?) and i'm just happy that i kept pushing. i'm glad i kept trucking on and will have some form of a tangible life that i will create with my own two hands.

happy new years! i don't think anyone will read this but... thank you! thanks tumblr for everything. maybe one day I'll go through and read my #priv or whatever i used to signify as my private posts here eventually. that day won't be today, but maybe when im in my SF apartment?!

have a great year, a great life, and so on. i don't think I'll ever update this blog again. thanks for everything and much love from me!

linktr.ee/haunterz

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iattempttoblog-blog · 5 years

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9/5, Part 1

Today was day 1 of my freshman year of university.

A bit of context: I’m on res and on a meal plan so thank God there’s no need for me to commute or cook. I’m kinda familiar with the campus by now.

Anyways.

I had programming in the morning. I was doubtful since a search on Google showed that our teacher had no profile on rate my teacher. Mans got a PhD and a thicc accent. Might I add that he had no mic even though we’re a school with new tech?

Next.

A calc workshop thing since I can’t math for the life of me. The whole review was rather simple and I began to think I was the math genius I used to be as a high school freshman. The teacher was nice and explained things well. I also began to doubt how good my senior year teacher really was. Is she truly the amazing teacher we made her out to be or was she merely a big fish in a small pond?

I sprinted back to res and changed clothes. Canadian weather is as stable as my mental health. The 10 degrees at 9am turned into a warmer 18 degrees by noon. The sweet potato fries were a blessing from Jesus himself. I also had some salad, pasta, and my beloved danish.

Was I going to get by with merely two periods? Of course not.

#university #residence #student #cafeteria

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