#anyways ignore this i just needed to vent a little cause it hasn't been this bad in so long and im just tired

[silawastaken]

this is just a little yap because I don't know really who to talk to about something like this so I'm screaming into the void instead, feel free to ignore <3

today i finally got pain medication that should help with the chronic pain I've been dealing with for roughly three years. I'm very obviously not upset about that fact, I am incredibly relieved actually and I'm really excited to see how I feel tomorrow after it hopefully begins to take affect.

However, this just feels very anti-climactic. I'm unsure how to word it (hence my unusually pretentious way of wording my sentences, I think it's a defence mechanism in response to the vulnerability-- detaching myself through the use of formal language), but it feels as though there should be... more?

I think this is rooted in a few different places, somewhere between the sense of loneliness I have yet to address since my mum moved out, and my need to prove that I am actually sick. Usually through every step of this my mother has been there, not neccassarily to 'hold my hand', as I first thought to put it, but as an observer. She was at least there for it. Through all the things I have tried.

Now, it's just like it's a normal night. I've talked about it a lot, persistent in my attempts to share how excited/nervous I am out the possibility of what a new medication may cause-- both in terms of pain relief and in terms of side affects and how my mental health may improve/worsen (at least if it worsens y'all can get some of the GOOD Dazai angst lmao) as a result.

But everyone else has something more important to do. It feels childish to ask my dad to just sit with me while I take it, I'm 15 so I should be able to do this by myself but there's just nobody there. Nobody's here while I try it, nobody will be there if it makes me feel sick or tired and I doubt I'll be asked how I feel in the morning. It goes past the medication, deeper than I could ever hope to pick apart in a tumblr vent post but this just to happens to be the catalyst for all the Feelings to start building up. I don't want to call my mother so she can sit on the other end of a phone line not paying attention for three minutes while I take medication that really isn't a big deal to anyone but me.

There's just normally somebody there and there isn't this time. There hasn't been for more than a year now but it's just different this time. Uhmmm anyway vent over I am now going to stop being a baby and take my meds 👍 I'm going to have some apple juice with them :3

[alexiela73]

Hi I'm sorry for asking for another request- please feel free to ignore me if it's a bit too much >_< Especially because I also vent a little in this ask. I will not take it personally if you decide not to do this ask, especially since you've already taken a request from me! So please do feel free to ignore, especially if it's better for your mental. The last thing I want to do is to cause more harm.

Anyway, I just find a lot of comfort in Hanzo q_q this is the same anon who asked for the autistic/mentally ill s/o qwq

2023 hasn't really been all too good for me so far even though it's just been 3 days, and 2022 ended on a really, really bad note

// TW for slight venting, because I'm going to share a little bit about what I'd need comfort for I guess >_<

I have abusive parents, they no longer physically abuse me (although I still have some scars), and I am constantly verbally abused everyday. It has really impacted my mental and emotional state

Recently I was told that I would be the cause of my mother's death, and all I do is cause everyone's suffering.

I also um... have a lot of trauma regarding touch, but I think I'd be okay with it if Hanzo held me close because I could focus on him and my anxiety/schizophrenia wouldn't hurt me... too much.

I just want to ask- how do you think Hanzo would comfort me especially after hearing all about this...? I don't know, I'm just kinda desperate at this point q_q

Thank you for your time and please have a good day qwq

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. If you ever need to rant, just get it out to a stranger, just feel free to message me. If nothing else, sometimes its nice to feel heard. And don't worry about sending more requests, send as many as you'd like.

Hanzo Comfort Headcanon

After the way his life had started and the mistakes he had made, it had taken a long time for Hanzo to finally come to one conclusion: he would never hurt anyone he loved again

This one thought has become ingrained into him

Falling in love with you to him is one of the greatest gifts life could have bestowed upon him

After his clan and everything that happened with Genji, he didn't think he'd ever feel this kind of peace or happiness

To know that in a way, like him, you are enduring the burden of a family who causes you nothing but pain wounds him

He has seen first hand the kind of damage its done to you

The first time he met your family, Hanzo had held back out of respect to you- this was your family, and at first he felt it wasn't his place to speak up. After all, perhaps he misunderstood

Now Hanzo goes with you whenever you have to see your family- if you truly insist on seeing them, that is. While Hanzo's goal is not to upset you further, he has no problem getting curt with them or telling them to back off.

Hanzo would see the messages between you and your family though- not due to snooping, but when you were upset you'd often drop your phone and go seclude yourself

During moments like these, when you would cry in the tub or try to hide in another part of the house, Hanzo would seek you out

Comforting someone is not something that comes easily to him. but Hanzo decides to go with his instinct with you

Usually he will sit next to you, not quite touching and ask if he can hold your hand. If not, Hanzo will respect that and sit beside you, usually humming a japansese lullaby

If he gets permission, he will cradle your hand between his, thumb gently circling your knuckles

If a hug is something that you will allow, then Hanzo will pull you into his arms and gently stroke your hair

Everything is at your pace

Hanzo has never been upset by this- he was blessed when you came into his lonely world, and he will forever be grateful for that

Though Hanzo himself said he'd never do it, he does gently inquire about counseling or seeking someone to speak to

Hanzo says he'll even go and talk about his...problems, if you will

With Genji's recommendation, you two do go spend weekends at the monastery in Nepal. Its actually quite peaceful, though it takes awhile for Hanzo to stop scoffing at it

Other little things he does for you is make sure you always have cupboards of comfort food- if baking is it, then he takes it upon himself to bake for you every week

Hanzo also lets you use his dragons like emotional support animals, letting you maul, squish and hug them as much as you need. Luckily, they don't seem to mind

[edalynn]

i gotta admit that i have this habit of checking on ur blog every week or so just to read you+other anons expressing frustration w huntl0w. in a weird way it's like an outlet for me whenever i get annoyed by the constant ship content in the fandom. like vicarious venting. if that makes sense

i honestly don't mind it as a crack ship tbh. like if that was all it was, that would be fine, it's like ppl shipping camila/eda, or gus/mattholomule, or vee/masha, etc... like huntl0w, those are all totally normal pairings that (with the exception of camila/eda) have all gotten VERY brief moments that might *possibly* hint to it being a thing in the future. but that's the point, is that huntl0w falls into that category, but the sheer quantity of content that is/has been produced VASTLY outpaces all the other crack ships.

and that's what gets me about it i think . is that the fanon has elevated it to the point where if all you knew about TOH was what you saw in fandom spaces, any outsider would make the reasonable assumption that huntl0w is integral to the plot and has had several episodes worth of development in regards to their relationship

but it hasn't? ,... meaning there's this weird mismatch between universally accepted fanon-as-canon and what actually occurs in the show. and..... it's really, really weird, and i think the question should be asked: why huntl0w? why is this crack ship specifically getting this strange treatment, and having more attention placed on it than fuckin lumity, or raeda?

and let's be real. it's probably cuz it's straight.

there are prob other factors too, like hunter is the stereotypical attractive bad boy who switches sides, or in luz's words, 'i pretend i don't care but i secretly do' kinda guy. think zuko ,and the amount of ppl that simp for him lmao. so it's possible willow is being used as a sort of quasi-self insert (recall how in a lot of their ship art, the focus is always always always on hunter and his issues, with willow just sort of Being There to fluster him/make him happy). and obviously using willow like that is really weird! like seriously i've got no problem if ppl wanna do an oc x canon situation with hunter. that's fine. but actually use some brain power to make a self insert oc instead of using willow lol

anyway i hope that wasnt too much rambling for an ask i just had some Thoughts about huntl0w lol

YEAH, if it had stayed a crackship I could've just like. ignored it and let it be. I definitely still mocked it personally with my partner irl when we would see it because it just seemed so ridiculous to us, but I wouldn't be as vocally angry or have the trauma response it causes now. The content in the fandom for h/l vs. lumity and raeda combined is depressing to say the least. And yes, you're right. It's because it's straight or straight passing at the very least. It's really telling and really upsetting for a queer-based show's most popular ship to be a m/f ship that's not even canon and doesn't even affect the plot. Honestly, I'd go as far as saying it's disgusting and those artists that I see that ONLY draw hunt/low shouldn't even be watching toh in the first place because this piece of media is clearly not what you need.

And it's amazing actually, what you pointed out. It has literally the amount of implication that any other crackship in the show has aside from camila/eda. Like, I knew that but I'd never really thought too extensively on that point. There is seriously no supporting evidence more than for gustholomule that hunt//low will ever end up canon aside from a few blushes from only one side of the ship in the first place. In any other show it would be taken as just that, a little nod at a potential crackship. I don't know why hunt/low shippers are so aggressively convinced that it's already canon when it's barely past crackship level.

And it's definitely all those reasons you mentioned that it's far more popular even than canon queer ships- it being m/f, hunter being the typical attractive bad boy-secretly good character, and Willow being easy to morph into a type of self-insert made to coddle said bad-boy character because that's the type of relationship and validation they want. 🙄 But for real,, if that's the reason you think you like hunt//low,, you don't actually like hunt//low or even Willow's character specifically- you just want a pretty bad boy to like you and you're using hunter as your outlet lmao. Seriously, just make an OC at that point. It does less of a disservice to Willow's character and can be molded into canon however you'd like. I'd prefer to see everyone's canon insert OCs than constant out of character hunt//low in the tags constantly.

[wastelandbabyblue]

what if I actually go insane. on purpose

[btsxmalereaders]

'Cause I Like You

Pairing: Yang Jeongin x male reader.

Prompt: "H-how long have you been standing there?" / "Long enough."

Word Count: 1,5k

Fluff | Requested

Masterlist

Don't forget to vote on whosfan and stream!

"Well, it's not like I haven't dated before." Changbin says as he plops down in the sofa, without taking his eyes off his phone screen. "So it doesn't feel any different."

"Now you have to be extra careful if you don't want it to be public, though." Chan intervenes. "Or at least you have the freedom to announce it whenever you and your partner decide."

As they keep talking about dating and how some other rules of the company, Jeongin seems to be more interested on the conversation he's having with you over the phone.

He chuckles from time to time, typing as soon as he receives a message from you. Your conversations for now consisted on sending each other memes and funny videos you found, and Jeongin always found that refreshing when he needed a break from his schedule. He also appreciated how you always are there from him, listening to whatever he needed to let out and to advising him when he was troubling. You were best friends for many reasons, but the fact that Jeongin would always find comfort and understanding in you, was priceless.

"Uh, Earth calling Innie, can you hear us?"

"Jeongin!" Chan finally makes him take his eyes off his phone by raising his voice a little. "How much are you doing on the phone? Ever since you came in you're smiling and texting."

"The dating ban just finished a couple of days ago and you've already found a partner? You really don't waste your time, do you?" Changbin laughs, making the younger blush.

"Shut up, I'm just texting Y/N."

"That's the only thing you've been doing lately, you finally gathered up the courage to confess to him your feelings?" Changbin casually comments, making Chris laugh as well.

"What? I don't- I-"

"Please," He cuts off. "We weren't born yesterday. It's quite obvious at this point and denying it is really useless."

Jeongin looks at Chan, wanting him to defend him and say that Changbin is wrong, but he simply shrugs. "What do you want me to say?"

"You're the worst." He simply states and continues typing, this time with trembling hands and reddened cheeks as he tries to hide the growing smile on his face.

So what if he has a crush on you, anyways? Jeongin never thought of confessing before as you two have a great friendship that you deeply cared about and has been really meaningful since you were kids; plus, as oblivious as it sounds, he hasn't noted any interest from you, so he is at least thankful he can have you as a friend.

"It'd be no surprise to see people confessing to you sometime soon, you know?" Chan says and pats his shoulder, now changing the tone of his voice to sound a bit more sweet. "Our Innie has always been so cute."

"You're embarrassing him." Changbin chuckles.

"I know, it's my duty as his hyung." He jokes and stands up. "Don't be shy around us about this stuff. You don't have to hide how you feel."

Before Jeongin can say anything about it, Chan exits the room with a smile and a small and careful movement to ruffle his hair.

Y/N - 04:48 p.m.

let's meet up later? :)

He nervously types his answer and sends it, trying to ignore how Changbin is repeating how cute he looks blushed just to tease him.

He may do something about his feelings, but not until he knew for sure you felt the same way.

To his own surprise, the words addressed to him a few hours ago by his leader came true. As he was leaving the building to meet you, a girl of his age whom he knew quite well and with whom he had started a good friendship walked towards him shyly, her cheeks so red and her hands trembling behind her back as she was holding a small box with chocolates.

Jeongin smiles and greets her as usual, not knowing her intentions and just listening carefully to her stumbling as she tries to calm down and properly confess her feelings for him.

In that precise moment, you walk to the building, not expecting to find that scene as soon as you step in. Your hands grip tighter the small bouquet of sunflowers you just bought and turn on your heels immediately, making your way back to whatever place you find empty to take a deep breath and maybe vent out. Of course, not being aware that Jeongin saw you from the corner of his eye and with the intentions to find you as soon as he could.

Jeongin was moved, for sure. But he didn’t feel that way about her. He tried to be as careful and considered with her feelings, but had to tell her that, even though he was flattered, he couldn’t reciprocate those feelings. He didn’t say it out loud, but for a moment he wished it was you saying those words instead of her.

She understood it right away, and with a shy smile, apologies from him and a hug, she walked away. Jeongin rushed to the exit and almost ran in the direction where you walked too, making quick stops at the front of restaurants and shops, hoping he'd find you there.

His heart is beating fast, and he spends a few more minutes walking and running from side to side, earning stares from the people around him but he doesn't seem to give up on finding you.

He walks to a nearby park and just as he is about to pick up his phone and call you, he sees you sitting on one of the park benches, and gets closer from behind you when he realizes you are talking out loud.

It's easy for him to tell you were feeling down; the way your voice sounds already gives away that you were trying not to cry.

"...'i really like you'? And then what? What was I expecting? Of course he only sees me as a friend." You groan, covering your face with your hands out of frustration. "Now I have to pretend that him dating another person doesn't hurt me... If I were only a few seconds early... Would it have changed a thing?"

"If it makes you feel better, you weren't late." He simply says, walking around the bench to stand right in front of you.

The expression on your face was a poem as soon as you realized he was there; had he heard you complaining? Why was he even there, in the first place?

"Jeongin," You hesitated, feeling embarrassed. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

He sweetly smiles at you, "Long enough."

"Oh, uhm-"

"Can you say it again, please?" He pleads, and you immediately know what he's talking about.

Your whole feelings for him could be better explained in a lot of words, but right now all you need to say is simple. "Jeongin, I really like you."

Jeongin's smile becomes bigger, and you swear your heartbeats could be heard by him now. He extends his hand for you to take it, so you do, standing up and being closer to him. His hands carefully travel from your wrists to your shoulders, and he takes another small step so that you can feel his fresh breath against the skin of your lips, longing for a sweet kiss. "Y/N, I really like you too."

Finally, you hear those words you've been dreaming with for a while. You put your hands on his waist and get a few millimeters closer, feeling like you're on cloud 9 while being on his arms.

You're barely a few centimeters apart but Jeongin still asks: "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," You nod. "Please."

Now with your eyes closed, he makes that last movement it was needed to make for your lips to finally meet. It's sweet; the velvety and tickling feeling making you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Jeongin is careful, subtly sliding his hands to the back of your neck and his lips slightly parting in an attempt to deepen the kiss. You quickly keep up with him, still slow and gentle.

You both pull apart as the seconds pass, recovering from the dizziness in your heads as you two experienced something you've been yearning, so intimate and significant. Your smiles adorn your flushed faces and the tips of your noses brush against each other.

Jeongin moves his hands to embrace you and leave more kisses on your cheeks, losing all sorrow and just letting the happiness act for him.

"Oh." He murmurs and you separate from him. "You got those for me?"

You turn on your feet to look at the abandoned sunflowers on the bench and you chuckle, picking them up and extending them out for him. "I did. You like them?"

Jeongin takes them with another shy smile, "I love them. Thank you."

"You used to say that if someone were to ask you out someday, you'd want them to give you sunflowers, so... I had to."

"That was years ago, how did you even remember that?"

"I set that as a reminder for the time I gathered up the courage to ask you out," You simply say and take his free hand. "So now I am taking you out. Shall we?"

Jeongin giggles and leaves a quick kiss on your lips. "Yes, let's do that."

[bxllafanficc]

A world without heroes

Summary: Loki is imprisoned after the sudden attack on New York and with that, rest of the earth. And while you always thought you would have your lover's back, you find yourself unable to forgive this one. It's time for you to decide when enough's enough.

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x reader

Sidenote: This was inspired by the song "A world without heroes" from KISS. I just immediately though about a moment where reader would be thrown into a deep sea of darkness after finding out the major betrayal lingering beneath many layers of Loki Laufeyson's charismatic persona.

The cold surface of the bulletproof glass is supposed to have a large impact on your wrist as the two objects collide. It's supposed to hurt but it doesn't. The glass is meant to stand and for you to give up. You're meant to lay off and calm down; meaning, stop slamming your fist into the cell like if it was going to break if you just willed your way through.

They say that if you want something enough, you possess the power to do anything. But what do you want to such an extent? More importantly, what does he want? What did he really want? Has he ever wanted any more than a throne to sit on? Or was there something more to it? Did he even know what it really meant? And if so, did he realize the consequences of his actions; not just by the billions of lives he would have destroyed, but his family, yours and especially his own as well.

A part of you wants to believe that he was under some kind of control; that he wasn't really conscious these past days. All the lives he already stole, you want to think that if he had a choice, he would've spared them. You want to believe it all so badly. You want to throw all your common sense away and just collapse into his arms. Give him a tender kiss and gaze into his eyes with lingering warmth like you used to. To forgive and forget.

But the common sense stays where it should be. You can't. Because the past days he's been imprisoned, he's confirmed every action. He doesn't even defend anything; thinks he doesn't need to. Rock-hard believing his decision was the right one to make when he really had no right.

And your eyes are no more tender and soft; but clouded and swollen, piercing through the pair of eyes on the other side of the glass. And your mouth is not tasting the sensetion of sweet lips. Only the salty wetness of your tears pooling like mad rivers.

Your chest feels heavy and about to explode. You need to scream; feel like that's the only solution to relieve the pressure. You almost feel like you're being choked. Choked on love, choked on hope, air, trust, literally everything your life has contained so far.

And the man in front of you doesn't seem to understand how your world is seemingly falling apart before him. The pure confusion in his eyes is twisting your stomach and your feel like throwing up.

"I thought I knew you."

Your sobs has quieted down. Before, you weren't able to speak very well. You just had to wait the storm out until it came rushing back ten times worse next time.

"You do, darling. You always have."

Calm as a snake and laid back. He doesn't even seem to realize that every word spoken will matter in the following moments of actions where you will decide both your fates for him.

"Did I, really? How can you look me in the eyes and say that with your disgusting pride!" You spit at the glass; aim at his feet but it doesn't seem to faze him a tiny bit. You want to bring out a reaction from him, cause maybe then, you would get some sense of honesty out of him.

"My disgusting pride? The world we're living in is disgusting and twisted. How can you even compare midgardians brutality and greediness to Asgards prosperity and beauty?"

You don't want to hear this talk again. Only a couple of years ago, you would have ignored it as just one of his endless bitter rants and thought nothing more of it, not knowing that he was actually planning to find an end to his irritation.

"(Y/n), darling, You have agreed with me on this! We agreed that humans are short minded, only good for the cause of starting a war between their own race and assassinate each other. Their petty little lives are doomed anyway."

You can't even process the amount of irony and hypocrisy seeping through his sentences. You want to scream at him. You want to hold him. You want to cry, give him a piece of your mind. But you want to fall asleep in his arms. You miss his embrace so much. Endless tiredness since he vanished, only to find he's become a monster.

Your fists attempts to break the glass once again, aiming at his perfect eyes. Those damn eyes. The same eyes you used to adore. You still do. Torn between what you want and what you should do.

"You had no right! Who are you to choose who gets to live and who doesn't?! Why should you be any different from the humans?"

Your words are no longer contained into normal conversation. Only now, Loki seems to actually start realizing the weight behind your rage.

"I did it for us, love! For you. How am I supposed to give you everything if I'm just a mere god, son of a bastard and feared of my own people. Is that the man to give you everything? Is it?"

You don't even know where the thought process of this has sparked in his mind. Never have you asked anything unusual from him, just endless trust and honesty. You have always supported him when no one else would and when nobody wanted anything to do with him. A shoulder to cry on or an ear for venting. You've heated him up with your warmth when he was feeling cold and kissed him back to health countless of times. You used to be his. In return you only asked for trust and honesty. And the funny thing? In the end, you got none of that.

"I never wanted the world, Loki! I wanted you! Couldn't you see that you were enough?"

"Why do you care about the midgardians so much? What have they done for you? Have they given you flowers when you were sad? Have they kept you company at nights where you were haunted by nightmares? Did they do any of those? Because I recall it was me who stood by you all those years!"

Why is he suddenly so angry? It makes no sense to you. When he for once speaks from his real thoughts, anger and frustration is still the feeling behind it. Even if he got his plan to destroy earth through, it wouldn't stop his burning hate.

"You speak like they are nothing but soulless objects, pawns for you to manipulate when you feel like it!"

"They need a group of unstable mutants to protect them from dangers! A bunch of heroes that they don't even really like sometimes. The heroes gets the blame of the catastrophe happening even if they are the one fighting it! Is that a society worth fighting for? Their beloved little heroes are nothing but fools."

"Everything is worth fighting for. You don't know these people, do you? And as for the people, the heroes are a beacon of hope; a sign to stand strong and come together!"

You stand quiet for a second. Your fist lowers itself against the hard surface.

"Against people like you."

You don't want to see him anymore. Heard enough. Ready to go. You've made you decision. Because how could there ever be a change to this man? When he's been hiding his true nature behind your back for so long? Did you even know who you loved? Could you even call it love?

"Did you ever love me? Or was I just being fooled this entire time?"

Concern is now displaying on him for real. Maybe he's realize where you're going; what you're about to say.

"Why would you ask that? I love you more than anything! (Y/n), please understand this! I'd do anything for you!"

"Then tell me one single moment, just one, where you've spent time with me and thought 'I could be satisfied with this. I don't need power. I'm good with what I have'."

You heart is aching with anticipation. It's almost fatal. You don't want to know but he must realize it himself before you can finish.

And you can really see how he's trying. He's trying so hard for you, he thinks. He probably thinks he's tried doing everything for you; when he really just needed not to do anything at all. And just like you guessed, there comes no words. He knows you'll see if he's lying and knows you're right. But you don't ever think he will ever regret his attack for the right reasons. Nor for you, to get you back. No, you'll never accept that.

"I can't live like this, Loki. Can't you see you're breaking my heart?"

"I didn't mean to-"

"No. You didn't mean to do it, right? That's what you're gonna say... But I've heard enough. You have made a decision. And it's about time that I make mine as well."

The realization hits him almost instantly. And all the traces of his usually calm manner were gone in an instant. He's no longer standing with hands clasped behind his back. But they're clawing and pawning at the glass keeping the two of you apart. Loneliness is the one fatal emotion he hasn't dared himself to feel for years with you by his side. But now when it all might be taken away from him in a matter of seconds? How is he supposed to react?

He's begging, pleading, punching and screaming. Sobbing and begging even more. His silvertounge can't save him now. Nothing can save him now from the unruly fate. A path he himself had laid out beneath his feet.

"Please, (Y/n) I love you! I don't want to be here alone!"

...

"Please... It's cold and dark. I can't breathe without your warmth! Just.. Please!"

You can't stand to hear any more. His pleading is too much and you've stayed enough.

Your heart feels like it's being torn in half by your own hands as you turn around, the cold of your back hitting him in the deepest depths of his despair. And it sets him off.

You're going to leave him. The only purely good thing in his life is going to leave him. Where is he going to get his hugs? It doesn't matter because they won't be from you. Is he even going to remember your face when time has passed? Will he even remember your laugh, smile or your goofy little moments together? Will you find somebody else? Forget about him and move on.

Loki doesn't want you to move on; doesn't want you to move at all. He's ready to do whatever it takes to get you to stay.

And he would, if there wasn't a thick wall between you, keeping him from you no matter how hard he slammed it or how loudly he screamed at you.

Pleading became despair and despair led to threats; the only solution left to try.

He knew it was wrong. Wrong to threaten a loved one, especially you. But he would never accept his fate knowing that he hadn't tried anything in his power to make the only thing left for him to love slip past his hands.

But a tiny part of him knows that you won't hear him. Won't listen to him like those late summer nights under the moon on a cozy blanket, you tightly wrapped into his embrace with a content smile on your face.

Or the time when a sudden attack of sorrow and anxiety hit him in the middle of the night and you held him close to your chest while whispering sweet assurances for him to fall asleep to.

You had been his anchor to the real world.

You were the only thing to keep him sane enough.

But it wasn't enough in the end.

You had been his hero.

But not even a hero could save someone's world sometimes.

Especially when he was the one ruining it.

His love.

(Y/n)

[a-walk-in-silver-rain]

Hello! So I saw that this account was fairly new and while I was scrolling through matchups I found your account and decided why not? So if it's alright with you, may I request an Obey Me Match-up?

My name is Nox or Ohjuu, afab Agender (he/it/they pronouns), 5'7 feet, has short, fluffy red hair, and my body type is muscular with fluff (pretty thicc in the thighs but shhhhhh insecurities-). My signs are Capricorn (Sun), Gemini (Moon), and Cancer (Rising); my MBTI type is ESTJ / ISTJ and my personality type is 6w5. Just to add a lil tidbit my clothing aesthetic is grudge/flannel/depressed artist/skater boi if that makes any sense? Giving love language is 1, gift giving 2, acts of service, 3 physical touch (all depends on partner.) Receiving love language is 1, Physical Touch and Words of Affrimation (these two are at a tie) 2, Acts of service 3, Quality Time.

Describing my personality may be kinda tough because it always changes depending who I'm around with and everyone will have a different opinion of me no matter what I do. But I would like to think I'm open minded, empathetic, caring, generous, serious and quite, at least that's what I think and I'm usuallythe mom/quite/therapist friend, I should probably mention that despite this not many people come near or even talk to me, probablybecauseof my resting bitch face, but peopleusuallyleave me be, which is good in some cases. Though those are the basic points to myself, however I can't just ignore my bad qualities either, I'm quick to anger depending on the situation, I'll stand up for others but i won't stand up/will take the blame for myself, I'm self sacrificing (I heard told I do that but I just mainly do it on command, to my I do it because it's my way of proving that I care for someone or that I would rather get hurt myself rather than them), I have little to no confidence in myself albeit I actually try to stay that way, and I'm a bit self depreciating....a lot (though that's in private or I make jokes about it-)Though even though I am like this, for self depreciation, and opiate mindset is what I need (Me = self depreciating, Partner = hopefully not the same). And I feel a bit of a cluster fuck when it comes to me or my personality (having wrath actually kinda makes me feel worse because I kind have trauma over people with wrath and knowing I have it makes me feel horrible.)

Hobbies? Well I don't have many but when I'm not on burnout I really like to draw a lot, it helps especially when I need to vent out something (seeing art that was drawn out of sadness or anger you can tell and it's kinda creepy how it does that.) Also coaplay is a favorite pass time as well! Though I don't do it too often, but when I do it's really fun! And finally in 3rd place I have gaming, I wouldn't really call myself a gamer but there are a couple games that peak my interest (Genshin Impact, Pokémon, Hallow Knight are some.) Honorable mentions are Hiking/Walking (I actually mean that), watching some shows/anime, and idk daydreaming I guess?

I should probably mention a few things like interests that hasn't already been mentioned in hobbies. I like to cook, I think I'm a pretty good cook, so I do it, I mostly do savory stuff and I usually like the food spicy though usually my friends/family can't really handle something more than mild, which makes me sad. I actually have an interest in animal science and I hope to become a veterinarian or at least someone that works with animals and if we're talk about animals, dogs or cats? I have to pick both (though exceptoon if the dog is big, I love big dogs), but I really can't choose, but if I get a third option I choose snakes. I use to have an instrest in poetry, but I'm stoped for a bit because not many people like dark poetry (I never really write lighthearted poetry because it always end up being dark even without me trying-.)

Quirks? Not a BNHA reference but I should mention some more things about myself, I'm sensitive to light and crowds, the light makes my eyes hurt and kinda faint and crowds just get me worked up and my flight responses kinda kick in (I usually try to keep my room as dark as possible and secluded because of this.) I kinda have poor memory, and sometimes I remember stuff and sometimes I don't, I have some tics that don't appear too often but when they do I usually make a hissing sound, a weird vocal sound, and with that comes some kind if head twitch, I can control it better in public but some of it slips and it's quite embarrassing. I WILL go into flight or fight mode if I'm being yelled or scolded at or if I hear yelling in general, depending on who it is I go with flight but I will go fight if needed, not only can't I not stand the loudness or tone but I usually don't need people criticizing, scolding, or hating me when I can perfectly do it myself. I shouldalso mention I'mtired almost all the time, even when I sleep well, I just feel sluggish a lot and I just wish I could sleep but I really don't like it because I know I need to get work done but motivation is coming slow these days. Finally umm....also as a defense or regular manurism I hiss and growl, kinda like a cat and/or wolf, usually confuses people enough for me to get away in situations but I sometimes like to do it when I'm angry or when to fuck with people.

And uhhhh yeah that's it from me! I really really really hope this wasn't too much information or if I wrote something down that was triggering OR that I was being a but too self depreciating. Anyways I really hope you have a good day!!

Hiya! Thanks for sending in a request! And don't worry about it you didn't write too much! I hope you have a lovely day/night too! (^_^)

I'd match you with...

Mammon

I think that you and Mammon would work really well together since you've added that your love language for giving is acts of service and physical touch which Mammon is definitely touch starved. And even just small things like touching his shoulder while talking to him or to get his attention would make him a bit happier. As for the acts of service, Mammon is normally the one asking for things like if he needs help with studying. Having some just do something for him or ask instead of him vouln-telling someone to help would kinda confuse him though he'd be happy.

Mammon being Mammon is a tsundere, this means you'll likely be spending a lot of time around him while he says he there because he could tell you wanted him around or something like that. He'd try to help you where he can and do little things he notices, and although he's not the best with words he'd try his hardest to comfort you.

Being the mom/therapist friend would definitely come in handy when with Mammon since he's not great with keeping his impulses and strange schemes in check. Mammon could use someone to just talk to about his feeling and the bullying of his brothers. Being able to have someone who cook would definitely help his eating habits since he eats a lot of cup ramen (I remember something say that in game) since he’s not to great of a chef himself. 

I feel like Mammon would be so soft for you, he'd be absolutely terrible at hiding but he'd try in public and in front of his brothers. Mammon's happy watching you cosplay or draw. He might request you try and show him how to do it cause it can't be that hard right? But he'd definitely try and play some of the games you play and suggest some you two might be able to play together. He would definitely get confused by Genshin and how much stuff there is to keep track of. He'd most likely just follow you around trying to help you kill stuff.

I can’t imagine see Mammon not liking any of your pet preferences since I feel like he like dogs more but would totally be chill with a cat. I think you might scare Mammon with you poetry depending on how dark you write each particular piece. He’d be supportive but just don’t read them to him before bed. 

The biggest problem with being with Mammon is how loud he can get, he doesn’t really notice when he does so you’ll probably have to bring it to his attention if you want him to quite down. If he ever saw or sensed that you were starting to go into your flight response when in a public area he’d pull you into him or pick you up and run off to a much more secluded area. Lastly there’s no way he’d really mind your ticks and your quirks he might question it a bit at first but if you just explain it he be fine, still might not get it but won’t really question it further. 

Thank you so much for the matchup! I hope you liked it! Any feedback would be great!