#anyways they deserve the world and i love them a disgusting and frankly worrying amount

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Feeling especially fond of Stray Kids right now

[agent-cupcake]

You know, you've written a lot of your thoughts/hcs/etc on how various characters would behave as yanderes and so on, but I've never seen you talk about yandere readers before and I feel like that's an interesting subject to consider? Especially for 3H - you have a treasure trove of damaged boys to attract obsessiveness from girls who are convinced they are the ONLY one for them and it's their duty to drive away competition/threats/anyone they want.

Okay it's time to be toxic. I’m not going to go for all the guys, just the ones who immediately came to mind.

Dimitri: I joke quite often that I would be yandere for Dimitri. It all started when I brought up killing the girl he danced with at the White Heron Ball and quite frankly it's only spiraled from there because doesn't the Savior King Dimitri deserve to be adored and worshipped? Doesn't he deserve someone who wants the best for him and only him? Doesn’t it only make sense for him to be with someone who understands his mental issues and is willing to offer him unconditional support and patience? Doesn't he need someone with unwavering loyalty who will do anything no matter what the cost for his sake? It'd be so easy too because he's super dependent, desperate for affection, and clueless so if you just nourish those traits and constantly downplay his discomfort/suspicion of you driving away anybody who you feel is a threat by saying that this is how relationships just are, that it's just because you love him so much, that you're just looking out for him, what's he gonna do? It's not like he'd have any solid basis for knowing how relationships are supposed to be. Besides if he gets too upset you can threaten to leave him just like his mother did, I'm sure that would work to get him back in your arms (where he belongs). Yeah, that’s a little fucked up but it would be so much worse for both of you in the long run if you were apart. Being too aggressive or overt about your obsession would definitely make Dimitri wise up so it'd be better to go with love bombing. This would be good because it really lets you prove your devotion to Dimitri and makes it easier for him to just laugh off and excuse your disturbingly possessive behavior. His friends would be potentially problematic, but they're not always around and Dimitri's private enough that he probably wouldn't volunteer information about you to them. If you told him that it made you very upset and uncomfortable when he was friendly with the girls from his class, he’d most likely stop for your sake. Bonus round, have his babies. What is he going to do, abandon the mother of his children? Dimitri?!? No way. Of course he wouldn’t do anything to risk breaking his family, but neither would you! After all, this is all because you know Dimitri better than anyone which means that only you can love him.

Sylvain: Sylvain being manipulative and cheating on you after you try and prove your love to him through conventional means causing you to snap and kill hurt the girls, throw his lies back in his face, and prove that you're the only girl for him by preying on his emotional trauma with women is really something to consider. Why try to resolve toxic situations with love, compassion, and open communication when you can use blood and abuse to keep him with you? Play the part, be snarky, witty, flirty, be super hot and cold to keep him intrigued, give him the best fuck he's ever had, really show him that you don't care about his Crest, you just want to love possess him. Maybe even do the whole "I don't care who you're with, we both know you belong to me" to really engage him in those super fun mind games. Make everyone else acknowledge that you're the perfect girl for him, get them all to vilify him for continuing to be such a womanizer and breaking your heart. But, like, why stop there? Encourage him to retaliate, to be mad at you. Tease him for being so disgusted and angry at you when all you want, all you've ever wanted, was for your hearts to beat as one and then later act confused because of course you wouldn’t make light of his feelings like that, that’s horrible. All you want, all you’ve ever wanted, was for him to acknowledge that your adoration for him is true. Really break him until he gives you the whole “I’ll let you chain me up so I never even look at another girl” schtick. This might seem awful, but so is he! Reform can be difficult and if he’s going to be happy, he has to be made to understand why his behavior was so bad and the consequences of it. Because it’s not like you’d act like this if you had any other choice, it’s not like you’d continue once the two of you were truly together, of course you wouldn’t treat him so cruelly once he vowed himself to you and only you. And, really, I think it’d be a lot easier once he understood that and you got to prove your love to him through raw, unadulterated affection. Spend every day adding onto the list of why you love your Sylvain. 

Claude: Claude being more than aware of the ole' saying "don't stick your dick in crazy" and then doing it anyway because he has a proclivity for the fiery, forbidden, and oh-so temping call of danger would be the perfect set up for a very bad predicament. You’d have to play some mind games to really convince him that he’s the one seeking you out, he’s the one who’s got it bad, he’s the one who wants to have you. In other words, you’d have to give him a challenge. But, you know, if it’s a game, you’d have to play back because you’re doing this for him, because you love him, because you want him to realize that he loves you, too (Uno reverse Claude’s yandere behaviors, basically) so obviously you’d have to eliminate any obstacles and taking out anybody who could be a potential threat. Get him to open up about his dreams, his past, his feelings. As it goes with basically all of these affection-starved men, make him feel loved for who he is. You know, if you were really good, you could probably even get him to give up on everything else for your sake. I mean, I loathe the ending but he does that for Lysithea. Pull a Tangled on Claude and make him believe that you’re his new dream as he mostly certainly is yours.

Felix: Sweet Felix. So oblivious but so difficult. A man who would provide the ultimate and most dangerous yan rival of them all: the thrill of the fight. In a lot of ways, I think he’d be like Dimitri. Mostly just because he’s so dense when it comes to love of any kind. But he’s also not as emotionally desperate or dependent so you wouldn’t really be able to use that against him. The similarities come from Felix’s equal amount of inexperience with romance which opens up a lot of possibilities for you convincing him that certain behaviors are normal. You can even bring up how his cold emotional state (something I believe he’s insecure about) is what forces you to be so overbearing, how badly it hurts you.  You don’t necessarily mean to be so cloying but you’re so afraid of losing someone else you love so much (another insecurity of his). After all, there is nobody in the entire world who is like him, Felix Hugo Fraldarius, (three for three with his insecurities) and how irreplaceable and precious he is to you. These examples are kind of “soft” when it comes to using his insecurities against him, but you could go further with them assuming you were sure that it wouldn’t drive him away. Not knowing and having to work on assumption would always be a pretty big reason to control yourself in how you went about manipulating him because Felix is stubborn and prideful and pushing him too far would only hurt the both of you. It’s actually kind of funny because as opposed to the traditional yan mindset, it would be in your best interest to get Felix to form relationship bonds with others (but definitely not any of the girls he’s so popular with) because that would be a bargaining chip when convincing him to stay with you.

Ferdinand von Aegir: Ferdinand is, honestly, so easy for this. Like, I feel as if I don’t even need to talk about the details. You show him some affection and he’s yours. Bury him in love and praise. Tell him that it makes you unhappy when he talks to other girls or prioritizes his work over you and then reward him with boundless warmth and devotion because of course he would bend over backwards to make you happy. He just wants to be needed and treasured, to love and be loved. He’s already got the poetry and the ring and of course he wouldn’t mind getting married right away it’s true love, why would you wait?

Yuri: Yuribird is the forbidden darling. You’d need to be running on 100% love because he’d sniff out and ditch you at even the smallest whiff of deliberate obsession. But you know what he wants? More-so than the other guys, in some ways. He wants to be known and loved for who he is. In the face of genuine affection, he doesn’t stand a chance. Still, you’d have to be measured about this stuff. If you were jealous and got rid of your rivals yourself, Yuri would be disgusted and leave you. And you can’t hide that sort of thing from him, either. You’d have to go all in on the manipulation but only in the most honest way possible, that’s the only way past his defenses. Get him to prioritize your feelings first so he feels guilty talking to people or acting in ways that upset you. Reward him for putting you above everyone else. Constantly remind him that you’re the only one who knows and understands him, who loves him for who he is. Get him so emotionally fucked that even if his big brain logic is telling him that you’re toxic and horrible, he can’t stand the thought of being without you. He’d give up crime, it’s not like he even particularly likes it. Set up the perfect life for him, something domestic and sweet and warm, something he’s never had worries he doesn’t deserve, something that keeps him away from others. The goddess only knows how much he deserves a happy dream for once, and you’re the only one who can understand and provide that for him.

[shoyodon]

𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!

Hi! oh my gosh It feels like my blog grew really fast? I’m really grateful to every one of you and I’m so glad that I get to do what I love while also making you guys happy! My 500 follower celebration may not be the most exciting or original but I wanted to do something different for the occasion! Im putting my WIPS on pause and opening up prompt requests! 

Send an ask with a number w/ 2 characters max and I’ll write a short fic or HC (depending on prompt) about it!  Both HAIKYUU! and BNHA characters are available!

*depending on amount of requests, I will cap the amount of requests I take on, sorry 🥺

Requests closed!!

The prompt requests will be open until tomorrow at 6pm CST so send them in! below is the prompt list, all credit for this list goes to @marauder-exe​ !

Angst

“I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”

“I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you just shut your mouth ?”

“wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”

“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”

“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?"

“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”

"Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”

“You’re safe here, I got you.”

“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”

“Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”

“If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”

“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”

“SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”

“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”

“I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”

“You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”

“What happened between us?”

“Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”

“You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”

“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”

“I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”

“I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”

“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”

“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“Your mind must be a horrible place.”

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

“And I thought you loved me."

" And I thought I loved you."

" Aren't you even going to cry?"

“I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”

“Did you always know that you were going to leave?”

“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”

“I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”

”If you wanna know, then ask.”

“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”

“We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”

“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

“When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

“It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

Fluff

51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”

52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

53. “You smell really nice.”

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”

56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”

58. “You’re comfy.”

59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

60.“But I want to hear you sing.”

61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”

62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”

63.“I think I love you.”

64.“Your bed head is really cute.”

65.“How about a kiss?”

66.“You made this for me?”

67.Aw, you’re blushing.”

68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”

69. “Let me help you with that.”

70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”

71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”

72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”

76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”

77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”

78.“No, it’s fine.  I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”

79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”

81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”

82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”

85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “

87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”

88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”

89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”

90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”

91.“It was always you.”

92.I love you in every possible way.”

93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

95.“Duck, you idiot!”

96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”

97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Sarcasm

101.“Define normal.”

102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

114.“My middle finger salutes you.”

115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

124.“I need therapy after this.”

125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

Drama

151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

154.“I know you lied to me.”

155.“I’m not even sorry.”

156.“You backstabber!” 157.“I never want to see you again.” 158.“You never mattered to me.”

159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”

160.“Rot in hell.”

161.“It was supposed to be a secret!”

162.“No one loves me.” 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 164.“You made me cry.” 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 166.“How DARE you?!” 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

169.“Just leave me alone.”

170.“What did you do?!” 171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”

172. “Just admit that was extra…”

173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?” 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 179.“I never loved you.” 180.“It’s too late.”

181.“Quit ignoring me.”

182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”

183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”

184.“I don’t want to be friends.”

185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”

186.“Friendzoned again.”

187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”

188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”

189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”

190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”

191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”

192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”

193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”

194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”

195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”

196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”

197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”

198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”

199.“We agreed this was just physical!”

200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”

[phobiadeficient]

tea pot anon a second time! I was also wondering! when you have a lull in prompts, or if you felt like it, I would love to see, like a sniper/demo/scout one that focus on demo? I just think it would be neat! since you've done ones with scout and sniper as the focus, and all! no rush, of course, and only if you felt like it!

welcome to “demo has a self-stated alcohol problem and frankly his boyfriends are very worried about him and wish he would just talk to them instead of making himself sick”. a long one because demo deserves it (warnings for alcoholism and a brief situation of dubious consent, however it is not taken advantage of)

-

Demo’s head was pounding, and he blinked his eye open.

Alright. His own room. That was good. And he was clothed, in his pajamas, something very soft. And his mouth tasted absolutely terrible, and he had a splitting headache—not like migraines, like hangover. Not unusual. Maybe just worse than usual.

He was warm, maybe too warm, and seemed to be having a hard time pushing at his blankets. Weighty. He looked first to his right, and blinked when he saw a pair of dog tags a few inches from his nose—Scout was here, apparently—then craned his head to look to his left, and could just barely catch sight of Sniper, yawning, blinking awake.

He looked over, apparently noted that Demo was awake, and promptly reached to fumble on the bedside table, passing Demo a bottle of water first and foremost.

He took it gratefully, sitting up a bit while he drank so as not to drown himself, hoping to wash the bad taste from his mouth. Then he blinked down at Scout for a minute. Scout was in a cozy pair of pajamas, as was he, and even Sniper (who generally tried to sleep in the buff when he could get away with it) was in a sleep shirt and presumably pants. Despite feeling like absolute hell internally, he didn’t feel particularly disgusting.

“What’s…?” he tried to ask, even as his voice croaked, and he registered that his throat hurt.

Sniper nudged him back into lying down, taking the water bottle back gingerly, setting it down before he too laid down. Demo felt a little uncomfortable in the back of his mind at Sniper being in his blind spot, but he didn’t really have it in him to say anything, or to do anything about it.

“Me and the kid noticed you’ve been in a slump lately,” Sniper said softly. “I asked him to check up on you, see if you’d rather be around us for it, and he tracked you down and saw you’d nearly drank yourself to the floor. He pieced together that there was something wrong, bolted to go get me, brought me over, and we took care of you for the night.”

“Feel like utter shite,” Demo managed.

“Yeah,” Sniper said, as if he’d assumed. “You threw up, quite a lot. Cried. Kid couldn’t understand a word of it, but, I picked out pieces.”

His voice sounded sad, and that worried Demo, quite a lot.

He took a deep breath before continuing, yawned. “Scout managed to convince you to take a shower after all the mess that’d happened, got you in your pajamas and all, I brought some over for us two. He was worried we couldn’t leave you overnight, thought you’d… choke on your own throw-up, something like that. Told him we can’t die anyways, but… you know him. He worries.” A pause. “We both do.”

He felt queasy.

“We’re…” An inhale, an exhale, Sniper’s breath tickling at him. “We’re going to need to talk about it at some point. Not now, not while you’re still feeling like a buggering wreck and all. But at some point.”

“Do we, though?” Demo tried, tried to tint his voice with an amount of humor, a shot in the dark based on what he could hear of Sniper’s mood.

“You scared the absolute hell out of us, Tavish,” Sniper said, voice hushed, no humor, no joy, just terribly, terribly tired. A pause. “And we’re not… upset that this happens, that you have your off days. They happen, there’s only so much we can help that. But you scared the hell out of us because you didn’t say anything, didn’t try and… tell us, or ask for help, nothing. The only reason we knew something could be wrong was that Scout noticed you didn’t talk to Soldier very long yesterday after matches were up. That’s all we had to go on.”

Demo looked over at Scout, who was more often than not a light sleeper, and who hadn’t shifted even a little bit at their tossing and turning and talking, out like a light.

“We just… look, we’ll talk more about it later. And we aren’t angry. We’re just worried about you.”

Demo squeezed his eye shut.

“Just go back to sleep for now,” Sniper said quietly. “Headache?”

“Yeah,” Demo nodded.

“I’ll get somethin’ for that, be right back. Drink more water,” he directed, getting out of bed and putting the water bottle where he’d been.

Scout woke up before Sniper got back, shaken awake when Demo sat up to drink from the water bottle. “Hwhat?” he mumbled, blinking. “Hey. Hey, you’re up. Good mornin’. It’s morning?”

“It’s morning,” Demo assured, further ruffling his hair.

“Fuck.” Scout sat up as well, tucked himself into Demo’s side. And he was always a cuddler like that, always craved contact, but it was a bit much, even for him. “Hey, where’s Legs?”

“Went to get… headache medicine, I think,” Demo replied, took another drink, winced. “Told me I was a damn menace yesterday.”

“God, yeah,” Scout sighed. “What all’d he say?”

“A good bit,” Demo shrugged. “About the sick, and my throwing a wee bit of a tantrum.”

“Did he tell you about when you were getting pissed at me over the showering thing?” Scout asked, still having not come up for air from where he was cuddled into Demo’s shoulder and arm.

“Nae?”

“Goddamn, like… okay. Usually when we three get together it’s a thing we know about before it happens, and usually if we’re drinking we’re all drinking, but this time we were both just like—“

“Volume, doll,” Demo warned, wincing a little as his headache throbbed.

“Sorry,” Scout whispered. “Uh, but this time we were both stone cold sober and you just felt like total garbage, but then when you felt good enough that we could try and get you to take a shower without like, drowning, you started getting pissed off at us because you figured us not wanting to be all cuddly and kissy with you was our way of breaking up with you—like, seriously outta nowhere—and you kept insisting that you were totally fine and that you wanted to… first you were saying you wanted to blow Snipes, then I think you were asking me to do it? I dunno. But we kept saying no, because you were like gone and that would be fucked up, and you got like upset about it. But yeah. Kinda washed out your mouth and got even more annoyed and stuff, it was a nightmare.”

Demo felt guilt stabbing deep into his chest.

“Is that a thing you worry about a lot?” Scout asked gently. “That we’re gonna just, outta the blue break up with you?”

Demo didn’t know whether he should answer that honestly or not.

“We’re not gonna,” Scout said quietly, interpreting his silence. “Like, if anything isn’t that what we should be worried about? You’re the guy who’s wicked fuckin’ smart and can bench press me and is also just super nice to everyone, and real funny too. And sure, Snipes is hot and cool, and I’m a healthy young guy, but it’s like, c’mon. You’re way out of our league. We’re super lucky.”

“You’re gonna try and tell me, after that whole bloody nightmare I cannae damn well remember, there was no point of you wondering whether I’m worth the trouble, doll?”

Scout pulled back to level a look at him, all the more inescapable since he was directly in Demo’s line of sight. “Babe, remember that time I got all upset about shit because I thought you guys hated me because we had to cancel date night that one time and I forgot to get dinner and I was acting like the world was ending? Did you wanna break up with me over that?”

“No,” Demo admitted.

“Remember that time Snipes was talking about his shitty dad and growing up in Australia and getting all broken up about it because it sucked and he still isn’t over it? Did you wanna dump his ass on the curb over that?”

“No, but this is different.”

“It’s totally not though.”

“Damn it, Scout,” Sniper said, and Demo looked up and saw him closing the door behind him, a small box cradled in one arm. “Don’t have the conversation without me. And not while he’s hung over within an inch of his bloody life.”

“Had worse,” Demo defended, watching Sniper start fumbling his way through his little box.

While Medic was a well-trained certified medical genius, Sniper tended to take pride in his knowledge of home remedies. Demo was given simple mint and ginger candies for his nausea, honey to soothe his throat, and some sort of something to help speed up his hydration.

“Then this is just proper headache medicine,” Sniper said, shaking out two pills into his palm and offering them to Demo. “Take these with water, mind.”

“Can’t I wash it down with something stronger?” he asked.

“Stuff it, Tavish,” Sniper said sternly, and put the box aside, and once Demo had downed the medicine, he pulled him down back into bed, and Scout followed with no hesitation. “More rest, I think. Twenty minutes until the pills kick in, then you’ll be right as rain. And the kid needs sleep, besides.”

“Do not,” Scout protested around a yawn.

Demo didn’t argue, just letting the two of them hold him and trying not to feel guilty about it, even as he drifted back off.

-

He avoided the conversation as best he could. Mostly by distracting Scout, prompting him to continue whatever he was on about at any given point when the three of them were reasonably alone, knowing that as long as he wasn’t thinking about it he wouldn’t remember and Sniper wasn’t the type to cut him off to talk about more serious things. And on their usual date night, he showed up already well into tipsy, if still alert and comprehensible.

But then they cornered him, finding him in his workshop and plopping themselves down on either side of him at his bench and moving right into what they wanted with no time for him to redirect.

“Okay, so since you don’t wanna talk about the thing,” Scout started to say, and shushed him with a hand on his arm when he started to protest. “Nonono, no, listen, just hear me out. Since you don’t wanna talk about it, we don’t gotta talk about it. Not for real. But me and Snipes still have some stuff we want you to know.”

“So we won’t talk about it,” Sniper agreed, hand on his shoulder, gentle but weighty. “We really won’t. Could you just follow us, darl? Please?”

Demo was suspicious, but not suspicious enough to disagree with them, not when they were making it pretty clear that they were letting him off the hook. So he just gently asked them to wait a few minutes and wrapped up what he was doing and put things away, then stood to follow them.

They led him into Scout’s room, a place they didn’t tend to frequent, a bit more cluttered than Demo’s room and with a slightly smaller bed, and less private than the camper van. Sniper sat down at Scout’s bed and gestured for Demo to join him, and he did.

“So what have you gone and dragged my arse to a secondary location for, then?” Demo asked, raising an eyebrow at Scout, who was digging through his closet across the room.

“Well,” Sniper started in carefully. “Remember that time this little bugger was having an awful day and we coddled him over it?”

“We figured, hey, you’re not into having a whole talk about stuff. That’s fair. But we gotta let you know we love you, though. So,” Scout shrugged, and came back with a box, roughly as big as a shoebox. “We’re just gonna try and give you a real good night to take your mind off stuff and help you feel better and then maybe you’ll… I dunno. It made sense when me and Snipes talked about it.”

“The idea is that we love you and we need you to know that,” Sniper simplified.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need—“ Demo started to say, flustered.

“It’s not about whether you need it, Tavish, it’s about what you want,” Sniper sighed, stroking a hand down between his shoulder blades. “You’re allowed to want things. And what we want is to make you feel good, get your mind off things.”

“Please?” Scout asked, putting on his very best puppy-dog eyes for the effect. And damn it all, they almost never worked on Sniper, but they could convince Demo to do just about anything in a heartbeat.

“Fine, knock yourselves out,” he sighed, and moved to start stripping when Scout’s hands started nudging at his clothes insistently.

Soon he was just about bare, although he kept his eye patch on, as he tended to do, less out of embarrassment and more because the damn thing always got lost in the sheets. And Scout had stripped down to his own boxers and socks, and Sniper had at least stripped to his work pants, probably more for the sake of comfort than anything else.

Then Scout was pulling his arm, urging him into some position. He found himself on all fours above Scout, and the smaller man wrapped arms up over his shoulders and legs around his waist and kissed him full on the mouth with no small amount of enthusiasm.

Demo settled forward, already enjoying the way this was going, and was only idly surprised when he felt a pair of hands on his ass, parting exactly long enough to tilt his head up a bit.

“What’re you up to, Mundy?” he asked idly, like he didn’t have a flushed, athletic young man kissing across his well-bearded jaw and demanding his attention.

“Well, the gremlin’s been teasing me for a while about some toy he bought a month back and getting use out of when I’m “too grumpy to mess around”, see,” he quoted dryly, and Demo rolled his eye at the self-satisfied little grin Scout gave at that. “He gave me a spin on it, and it’s properly good. Thought it’s only fair you get to try it too. That awright?”

“Only if you promise not to enjoy the view too much,” Demo teased, wriggling enticingly before dipping back down to finally give Scout some more attention, chuckling at his enthusiasm.

He had to part for a moment to steady his breathing as Sniper started coaxing him open patiently on two fingers, and his brow furrowed a little bit as a familiar smell hit his nose. Like cinnamon, maybe, and why did he smell cinnamon—?

He gasped outright at the feeling of a mouth against him.

His thighs trembled a little, and he panted against Scout’s temple at the feeling of hands spreading him wide and a tongue setting to work, moving against him in patient, teasing throbs.

He’d honestly forgotten about the flavored lube. It hadn’t come up in a while.

“Feels good?” Scout asked gently, pulling back to look Demo in the eye, cupping his cheek. Demo nodded distractedly. “Good. We wanna make you feel good.”

“You do,” Demo managed, voice a little tight, jolting at a sudden press inward, inward, before Sniper pulled back and set to flat-tongued lapping again.

“Well, we wanna make you feel extra good,” Scout said petulantly, kissing him just below his eyepatch, and when had Scout unhooked his other arm? At some point, apparently, because then Scout has a hand around his dick and was moving in nice, steady tugs against him.

It had taken Scout a while to get used to dealing with an uncut dick, but once he figured out the basics, he was a bloody master at it, drawing the pad of his thumb against sensitive points as he gave steady pulls, milking precum out of him so easily it was almost embarrassing, spreading it all across the head.

The two-pronged assault had him shivering and shaking in ecstatic spasms, trying to jerk his hips and finding it difficult to stop himself.

“Mickey, you filthy-minded lanky bastard, I’m not lasting into you using that toy you’re on about if you keep doin’ that,” he warned almost desperately, an embarrassing squeak escaping him as the thumb that he’d been circling against his perineum pressed just a bit harder in response.

“Then go on, Tavish,” Sniper replied, kissing breathlessly at his tailbone before he dived right back in. Scout meanwhile leaned up to nip at his bottom lip, coaxing it from between Demo’s teeth as he tried to muffle himself.

“C’mon, you’ve got two rounds in you,” Scout urged, rhythm increasing and for a moment unintentionally matching the rhythm Sniper’s tongue was moving in, and that was it for him, shuddering and groaning, mouthing praises against Scout’s neck insistently as the lad tugged him right through it.

He was distantly aware of Scout squeezing the last drops free of him and smearing them against his own thigh before releasing Demo and moving to just wrap arms up around his shoulders again. Sniper detached, kneading soothingly at his thighs as he slowly came back down, breathing hard.

Demo managed to sit up a bit higher, hoping to address the both of them, then he saw the well-past-satisfied look on Scout’s face, and looked down a bit further and saw that Scout hadn’t bothered trying to catch Demo’s orgasm, instead letting it splatter out onto his own stomach and nearly up to his chest.

“You ever get tired of getting filthy just to look good?” Demo asked, admittedly feeling his face heat up as he looked at the sight.

“Nah,” Scout said smugly.

“Oh, what’s the damn kid gone and done now?” Sniper grumbled, leaning down next to the two of them and planting an elbow next to Demo’s, eyes widening a little at the sight. “…Christ, nevermind, carry on,” he said, leaning his cheek on his fist as he ogled.

“Pretty little thing, aye?” Demo asked, adjusting his weight to stroke a hand down Scout’s side, grinning at the shiver that drew out of him, Scout clearly all keyed up.

“You wanna talk about good-lookin’? I know I’ve got a mirror for you around here somewhere,” Scout replied, even if it wobbled a bit with Sniper’s free hand moving to tweak at his nipples. “Fuckin’—quit it, Snipes, c’mon.”

“Nah, nah, keep on, Mundy,” Demo urged, shifting to better balance as he moved a hand down between them to grip at Scout’s dick, hard and demanding, probably bordering on painful.

Scout jolted, a sound of pleasure punching out from deep in his chest, and he squirmed a little bit, breath picking up. “Y-you guys—hey, I thought we’re, this is Demo’s night, okay?” he tried, even muddled, even trying hard not to arch into Demo’s hand.

“You’re good for more than one round,” Demo taunted, echoing the earlier sentiment. He leaned down to murmur right into Scout’s ear, enjoying the shiver he gave at it. “And besides, lad, I think I’d really get a kick out of you makin’ an even bigger mess all over yourself, aye? Hearin’ you moan for it. Gorgeous little thing.”

Scout bucked, and spilled, and moaned just as he’d been asked to, embarrassed and defeated.

“Mmm. Lovely,” Demo purred, and Scout just burrowed into his neck to hide, face bright red. “Nothin’ to be ashamed of, lad. Especially since you bounce back so quick after, see?”

Scout grumbled something at that.

“You hangin’ in there, Mickey?” Demo asked, looking over at Sniper, who looked very pleased with himself, stroking a palm over Scout’s ribcage where there wasn’t much mess.

“Enjoyin’ the show, Tavish,” he replied evenly, eyes flicking up to meet his gaze. “And seems like you are too.”

He wasn’t as young as he used to be, but Scout did tend to make a nice view, and his body was starting to react again upon seeing it, member growing heavier between his thighs once more. “I am,” he agreed.

“Care to take a spin on that toy, now?” Sniper suggested.

“Where’s that leave you?” Demo asked, eye flicking down to glance at where Sniper’s pants were growing properly snug.

“Buggering the prettyboy’s mouth once he’s found it again, I’d bet,” Sniper said, reaching up to stroke his thumb across Scout’s bottom lip. Sometimes that was a great way to get Scout to bite you, but now he’d been unraveled enough that instead he leveled a heated look at Sniper, moving instead to lick at it partingly. “Yeah, isn’t that right? There’s a beauty.”

Sniper returned to his previous position behind Demo, slicking something up and spreading him open with one hand. “Slow, now,” Demo warned.

“Oh, ‘course,” Sniper agreed, and then something slightly chillier than the room was pressing at him, then pressing in.

Scout helped distract him from the odd feeling of it by laying kisses all across the underside of his jaw where beard started to fade to neck, nose tickling where it brushed. Demo jolted as the toy pressed just right, and he heard Sniper chuckle behind him, and felt his face burning again.

“Ready, then?” Sniper asked, smoothing hands down the outside of Demo’s thighs.

“Give him a minute, Legs,” Scout warned, then set back in again.

“Think I’m probably ready,” Demo said hesitantly, frowning a bit.

“Hah! No you aren’t,” Scout scoffed knowingly. “Like, three more minutes. Trust me.”

Sniper continued on with teasing touches across his thighs and ass, and finally made an impatient little noise. There were sounds of shuffling, then Sniper was back, much closer, grinding at the back of his thigh idly while he continued spidering hands all over his skin. Demo was starting to feel a bit warm, a bit sensitive again, and it was then that Sniper’s hands fell down to the base of the toy again, hesitating, waiting for something.

Demo startled a bit when he realized what it was. “Go on then,” he urged, rocking back for emphasis.

Sniper obliged, and the toy clicked to life, and his breath caught.

It wasn’t necessarily the strongest vibration he’d ever felt in his life, but pressed just there against his prostate, humming steadily and unrelentingly, it had him feeling overwhelmed within moments.

He sagged against Scout, moaning and mouthing nonsense into his collarbone, more desperate noises rising up from the back of his throat. Scout pet encouragingly over his shoulders, saying all sorts of sweet little things that Demo could barely process when it felt like his soul was about to damn near leave his fucking body.

He jolted as Sniper reached around and beneath him to cup and roll at his balls and to fist his erection in steady motions, grinding idly against his thigh again, not demanding, not really even asking, just scratching an itch. Not that Demo could particularly pay attention to it.

The first time getting off wasn’t a problem, but this second time often ended with the other two being finished first and needing to end him off with a hand or mouth. At one point Scout had finished while Demo was fucking him and he’d urged Demo to fuck the space between his thighs, and that was damn nice. The point was, though, often his stamina on the second go-around could be an inconvenience.

This time, he was concentrating hard on not coming undone within five damn minutes of the thing being turned on.

The two of them went easy on him, at least, sensing that all of this was bordering on being too much for him, movements slow and gentle, handling him like he was something delicate, and had they not so carefully pulled him apart at the very seams he might’ve had it in him to be irked by it, but as it was he couldn’t help but agree.

“Good?” Scout asked softly, pressing a kiss below his eyepatch again, and it was only then that Demo processed the tears leaking out of the corner of his good eye and dripping to land in Scout’s hair.

“So good,” he agreed, practically wheezed, and now he was the one hiding his face in Scout’s shoulder. “Don’t you dare stop.”

He absentmindedly worried a mark into Scout’s neck, distantly feeling the edge creep into view, and he heard Sniper whisper some kind of encouragement and felt Scout’s arms tighten around him before he finally careened over it, crying out in his pleasure, hips jolting raggedly as he tried to chase the high for just a little bit longer.

For a bit, he couldn’t process much of anything. The toy was out, and he was lying on his side, cradled between the two of them, held tightly. His breath was shuddery.

“We’ve got you, Tav,” Sniper was murmuring, gentle and soft.

“We love you,” Scout was assuring, quiet and tender.

And he drifted off like that, and couldn’t seem to remember a single time he’d ever felt sad in his life, his chest far too full to make way for bad memories.

God, he loved them.

[sirens-gemberry]

You’ve Unlocked a Cutscene from “Soren Ren-egade Sharp”!

Continue?

>Yes

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Warnings are for the following: Sexual Assault Implications, Alcoholism, and familial abuse. Stay wary farmers! 

It’s been a solid six years since I started working at the corporation. The corporation. It’s been hell on earth itself to do. Joja Corporations, after all, is not the nicest place on earth to go to every single day. Today however, was particularly...different. That morning, I found myself getting a pounding headache, reaching towards my phone. My alarm was distinctly going off beside me, a blaring noise I quickly shut off with slightly trembling hands. Another day, another paycheck that may as well mean fuck-all by then. It’s not like I’d get out of here, and that idea always shook me to my core.. My brain was fuzzy, and I found myself briefly confused trying to remember the events of last night. “Nngh… Fuckin hell, my head...what’s the time? Hell- what date even is it?” I mused to myself, a hand gently reaching to ease the tension from my throbbing head. For a few moments, I sat there, still, before checking the date on my phone. Ah, February 15th. Spring was just a week or two away. With it, likely allergies and a painful amount of medication. I resisted the urge to groan at the thought, instead opting to lay there for a few moments and update what was happening in the online world. I hummed to myself, scrolling through my phone, and wondering what would come about today, before checking to make sure that everything was in order. ‘Homework assignments turned in, assessments turned into the big boss man at corporations yesterday...I should be fine today, so long as I don’t get dragged back off to his office…’ Ugh, the thought makes me shudder. I finally reach over and don my glasses, golden rimmed that I adjust with a sigh, before noting my laptop was beside me. My vision was still blurry though. ‘Oh, must’ve forgotten to put it away after that video game session last night. Oops.’ I sigh, setting the laptop aside and staring outside the window, white curtains letting small streams of sunlight in. The city was already busy to hell, cars rushing to and fro from and to work. Man...sometimes I wished the city was a nicer place, since I always loved the constant bustling and hustling...and maybe just a tad more quiet. But hey, we can’t always get what we want, no matter how hard we try...I swallow through a lump in my throat, slowly trying to will myself to not lay back down from the plague of exhaustion, and instead to just keep going- to keep moving. I had people depending on me, no matter how much I didn’t want to be productive some days. I had to keep going. So, I pushed myself out of bed, damn well near tripping along the way- a mental note to order a new prescription in the near future- before sighing and pressing my ear to the door. My parents could be faintly heard arguing to the side, which was nothing new. Those two have been doing that for as long as I can remember. It still aches my heart, though, to see a relationship come to pieces like that… It worried me for my own future, especially considering I was twenty-two and still living with my family. ‘It’s no wonder my sister wanted an out..’ I thought, sighing to myself with a sense of guilt plaguing my mind... ‘I really do miss her, sometimes…’ Still, I had to focus. Shaking my head out of it, I quickly go to get dressed, trying to hum to myself to distract the nostalgia clouding my thoughts. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day...

Sure enough, the day left me drained, and shaking. As I was walking home from work, I was far too close to a breakdown for my own good. I tried to steady my breathing, focusing on grounding myself rather than letting it consume me, but I kept just thinking the same things. It was disgusting...and there was a lingering sense of a seething hate for myself as I had walked home that evening. I hated work, and I hated my boss… He always did unspeakable things to me, and my body, that I never wanted. Never consented to. He didn’t care though, and that’s what hurt the most. I was nothing to him.. Everything felt like it was burned, and I could already see bruises imprinting themselves into my wrists. When I got home, my father was out at the time, leaving me alone with my mother. The thought made me cringe. Truth be told, I wasn’t paid enough to get my own place and get the hell out of here. At this point, it felt like I’d never escape...I just wanted an escape. But it felt hopeless. My mother scowled upon seeing me, noting the likely bruises that have begun to flower over my skin. I impulsively pulled my jacket up to cover the marks, even if they were already spotted. “Well, looks like you had fun at ‘work’ today, huh?” She said curtly, walking over and using my jaw to forcefully tilt my head to the side, examining each hickey that lined the side. I muffle a soft whine from the pain of the force. “You really are just your boss’s toy, aren’t you? Of course you are, you’re not even competent enough to do your work correctly.” “Can you please not do this today?... It’s been a long day, I just need something to drink.” I replied, unable to keep my voice from trembling slightly. I was so tired of this same bullshit, day in and day out. She’s always like this, and I was never enough for her. Nothing I did was enough for anyone, and it left me feeling awful at the end of the day. Out of reflex, I flinch when I felt her hand come into swift contact with my cheek, sending me tumbling into the wall next to me, and nearly falling onto the floor. “Don’t talk to your mother like that, missy!” She said firmly, “You will not have attitude in this house!” “B-But...I’m not...I’m not even giving y-you an attitude…” I mutter, swallowing away the lump of fear in my throat, threatening to consume any breath I had. Slowly, I got back to stable footing and giving a shaky sigh. I needed to get back to my room, or I’d definitely get my ass handed to me. “M-May I please go to my room, mother?” I asked softly, trying to keep my shaking hands behind my back. She gives a curt nod. “Maybe you’ll think about what you’ve done that way. Now go. I’ll lock the door next time you come home to a bruised neck.” She said firmly, before I quickly nod and skitter out of the room, making sure to grab one of the bottles from the fridge before headed into my own room to lay down.

I quickly changed into a small nightgown, it feeling too warm in the room to wear anything else. I just wanted nothing else but to let the world fade away, until I couldn’t tell up from down. My stomach groaned in protest, but I shook my head, instead sitting down on my bed and looking at the bottle’s label. Just some off-branded weird beer my father got. I preferred scotch, but frankly, it was probably wiser that I didn’t have anything stronger. No food with too much alcohol is especially dangerous, so I’ve heard. So, I quickly downed most of the bottle before setting it to the side and laying down with a shaky sigh. The few friends I have, have started getting concerned, like Ophelia. They were such a sweetheart, I really didn’t deserve having a friend like them. They’ve tried to get me to stop drinking, and to eat more, but I always politely declined. I was a bit on the overweight side anyway, it wouldn’t exactly hurt. Everything was fine. I had things in control. After several minutes of laying there, staring outside the window and wondering what to do with the rest of my night. I hum to myself, eventually sitting up to grab a small journal from underneath my laptop. Maybe I’d write a little bit, a few poems just to get through the night so I can continue being useful to other people… So that’s what I did, keeping my body hunched over the journal as I wrote for a while, and letting each word ring true through the pages. I was so passionate about so many things, so many creative, lovely, amazing things...But almost no one cared. Sometimes, I wished someone would care. But that’s okay. It doesn’t make a difference to society anyway, so why should it matter to others? I sigh, and look up to the ceiling, looking towards my phone. My sister would likely still be awake at this hour, and she hasn’t called in a while. ‘No wonder, I’m already a pain in the ass as it is without bothering her while she’s been away.’ I thought to myself, but still picking up the phone and setting the journal aside. “...Still. I should check up on her, just to make sure everything’s okay.” I spoke to myself in a soft, somber tone, “I might not be the older sibling, but I do have to be responsible for her, too. I have to look out for her. It’s what I wanna do.” Still, I hesitated briefly, feeling a wash of dizziness nearly encapsulate me. Fuck, I really should’ve remembered the effects a lack of food will do on an inebriated body. I sigh, reaching over and grabbing the bottle, before taking the last few sips from it and setting it aside once again, and pressing to call her number on my phone. I laid back down, pressing the phone to my ear and listening to it ring….ring….and ring some more. Eventually, she answered. “Ren? Jeez, man, do you know what time it is? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” Then there’s a notable tense pause, “Nothin’ bad’s going on, is there?” “N-no, no, not at all. I know it’s kind’ve late, n’m’ sorry for that.” I muttered quietly, staring emptily up at the ceiling as I listened for my sister’s response. “Dude, are you drunk again? What the hell have you been up to lately?” Ah, that figures. I can never seem to keep a solid normal tone when I was a bit tipsy. I felt a cringe grace my features, before mustering through my embarrassment to speak up again. “Y-Yeah. Just out a bit too often lately.” I lied through my teeth, though, either way. I didn’t want her to really know that this...well, alcohol problem I’ve been developing was from my own spiral into suicide. It’s been like that for four years already, anyway. I didn’t want to admit that this was going to be my end, to myself or to others. “...I guess….” She didn’t believe me, not by any regard, but it was likely she was too tired to question it, before continuing. “Anyway, I guess things have been okay. I moved again, after work not quite...well, working out. I needed something new, and something new to work on.” Yasmine explained, and I sat up a bit out of curiosity. “You moved? Where to, man?” Man, what can happen within two years… “Ah, it’s this little Valley town area. You know that envelope grandpa gave me before he passed?” Yasmine continued after a small moment. From the sounds of it, she sounded at least a bit excited about it. “Yeah, of course.” “Apparently it was the deed to the ol’ man’s old farm. So I’m living there now. It’s okay, I guess. I do kinda miss the city on occasion, but eh. I visit often.” Yasmine continued, and I felt my throat catch at something that came to mind. ‘This could be your escape. All it takes is to ask..’ ‘I couldn’t ask, that’s selfish...especially with how often she went off about how she just wanted to get away from me...‘ I reminded myself, before snapping out of it when my sister spoke up again. “Ren? Ren, are you still there?” She asked, slightly curious. “Ah-! Yeah, Yeah, I’m here. Just thinkin’...” I replied, giving a sheepish grin, and nervously looking away to fiddle with the strings of the nightgown. “...Is everything okay?” She asked a moment later, curiosity further shown in her tone. She’s known how our family is, but she didn’t know just how bad things at work were getting on top of it. How bad everything was getting on top of it. “Yeah, I’m...I’m okay. You know how it is with mother and father, ahah. It’s...I’m fine.” I stuttered a bit as I spoke, trying to at least feign my stability, even if it was being held up with the strength of hopes and toothpicks.... “Ren…” Hope and toothpicks, what can I tell ya, “Are you sure? I mean, I’m your sister. I’m supposed to at least know if something’s wrong…” I fell quiet, feeling a small surge of emotion flicker through my aching heart. My sister wasn’t exactly the nicest person on the planet, but she at least did always try to protect me. She protected the both of us for as long as she could, until she went off to college. I took college online, if only because I function better on the computer, rather than with other people.

I tried muffling a soft sniffle behind the palm of my hand, tempted to hang up the phone before everything would come crashing down, before Yasmine sighed softly. “Hey, no crying now, okay? Just take a breath, and tell me what’s up, okay?” I take a shaky breath, trying to find my mental footing again, before laying back down and hugging one of the pillows on my bed to my chest. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m not gonna cry on you now..” I mutter softly, managing a small laugh after a moment, before feeling my gaze flicker from my wall, to my sheets, as I spoke. “...I’m so tired of being here, Yazzy. Work is so stressful it makes me want to yank my hair out, my friends are all concerned because I keep showing up with bruises on my face, and I feel kinda…” I trailed off, the word I was going to say slipping out of my brain’s grasp. My sister catches on though, and sighs. “Trapped?” “...Yeah.” A silence falls over the line, as we both contemplate what I said with a heavy air in the room. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything...she might just call me a crybaby again, or laugh at me, or something..’ I couldn’t help but think to myself, my grip around the pillow tightening with each thought, ‘What if she just thinks I’m weak..?’ For a few minutes, this continued, with me constantly being too tempted to hang up the phone, and biting my lip to a point I tasted iron in my mouth. It was then I finally spoke up. “Yas…?” “Still here, just...thinking about somethin’.” She throws my excuse back into my face, and I resist the urge to sigh in mild irritation. “Should I call back?” I asked, and I heard her hum in disagreement. “Nah, just give me a minute.” I hear as she sets the phone down, getting up and grabbing something. There’s undistinguished murmuring of my sister for a few minutes like this, as I stir in my thoughts. Maybe I shouldn’t have called, if all she’s going to be concerned about is me..

“M-Maybe I should just go, I’m probably just tired and-” “Ren.” “-when I’m tired you know I never really think straight-” “Ren.” “-but hey maybe we should talk again soon in the future when I’m in the right mindspa-” “REN!” Her shouting jostles me from my rambling, feeling pink heat my cheeks, before muttering a skittish ‘...Y-Yeah?’ into the receiver. There was a notable pause, as if she wasn’t sure if she should even say what she was about to say, before she spoke with an air of confidence into the phone. “Two weeks. Pack your bags, and get on the next bus down here. Okay?” “Huh-?!” Before I could even ask what she exactly meant by her words, the line went dead. I was left staring blankly at my phone for a few minutes, trying to process what the hell just happened. Eventually, I sighed, setting my phone down with a yawn. I shouldn't think on it too hard right now. My brain would just kill itself trying to wrap itself around her words. ‘I’ll ask her about it tomorrow… If this is even what she wants.’

We discussed things later on that morning, before I had to go into work-- the damn woman sounded like she didn’t even sleep that night-- as I was getting dressed. It was almost surreal, but the deal was made. She’d let me work with her there, on the farm, until I got my college degrees and found a job elsewhere that’d be better suited for me. Least, that was the plan. I had two weeks to get everything prepared before headed over, where she’d meet up with me at the bus stop. For the first time in a long time, I was genuinely excited when I went into work. If only because of what I knew I had to do. IE; slam that name-tag of mine into one of the bosses’ faces. Metaphorically, unfortunately. One can dream, after all. I put in my two week leave notice, before returning to my work. The bosses all seemed appalled, and threatened me, but I shrugged them off, as I walked back to my desk that morning. Things seemed to finally be looking up, and I couldn’t be more excited! Just the hope that things could be different for me, left my shoulders light. But honestly, I should have known that they wouldn’t drop the conversation that easily. My bosses weren’t one to take no for an answer, especially not from ‘breathing fleshlights’ like myself. Ugh. Those guys grossed me out, with how they spoke to me… But that didn’t matter now. I could finally move forward with my life. I could finally breathe again.

It must have been a few days before I would officially move out, when I headed into work one morning with a small pep in my step. I greeted the other co-workers, and headed to grab the work I did from yesterday to put into the input bin. “Sharp!” My boss’s voice yelled over the crew, and I immediately flinched and near dropped the papers. “My office, now!” ‘Shit… What did I even do this time!?’ I swore to myself silently, shaking my head and setting the papers aside, taking as slow strides as possible to delay the inevitable. When the door closed behind me, I paled a bit with a bit of grimace when I find my boss locked the door after it shut. “Uhh...I-Is everything alright, Boss…?” I managed to stutter, trying to force a smile onto my face that never came, before slowly laughing and rubbing my arm awkwardly. The blouse I had worn that morning awkwardly shifts around my form, as I try to avoid eye contact as soon as possible. Eyes dart between the uncomfortably feminine shirt, to the dark blue floor below. “I figured, Ms. Sharp… since you’ll be moving on to a new job in a few weeks, that I should offer you one last bonus, for all the hard work you’ve done..” My boss explained, causing me to give a rough gulp. I knew that tone, and I also knew his ‘bonuses’ weren’t very good… Or rather, I never had a choice in the matter. Still, I shook my head. “I-I’m fine, S-sir…” I mumbled sheepishly, trying to reach behind me to unlock the door- even when I knew it wouldn’t budge, “I-I’ll pass…” The sneer on his face widened, getting closer to my face until I could feel his breath against my cheek. I forced myself to not shudder at the contact. “I insist, dear. After all, you deserve the best after working for Joja Corporations for so, so long…” “I s-said...I said no.” I stated, more firmly. I don’t know why I bothered protesting anymore, he still did what he wanted regardless, and no one would believe me if I told anyone. It’s why I haven’t told anyone yet. My Boss, Mr. Langarb as he was called, laughed. He laughed, and I felt my arm begin shaking with the urge to smack the shit out of him. I kept it to myself though. I couldn’t get myself fired before my leave, that’d ruin my job applications later on in life. It didn’t take long for the anger to pass though, as the next thing I knew, my hands were above my head, held tightly in one fist. The other was quickly roaming, roaming, and tearing away at the blouse until it actually did tear. ‘Shit!’ I swore to myself, shaking my head and trying to pull myself free from his grip. But, I’m not that strong. I never have been, mentally or physically. “Now, you’ll see what happens when you say no to me, do you understand, Laila?” His words hissed in my ear, as I kept my head turned away from his. “L-let me go…I-I’ll report you to the police, I’ll let everyone know what a skeeze you are!” I retort, trying to keep my voice from trembling. Further fear kept its chain on my heart, as I saw that a few of the other bosses- from different sectors of the area- watched, and slowly started to approach as well. Langarb laughed, grabbing my chin and forcing my head to look at him. “You’re so funny sometimes, Sharp. You don’t get it yet, do you? No one will ever respect, or trust you. No one will believe a whore who can’t keep her mouth shut.” He spat back at me, as I scowled darkly at him, starting to kick and trying to hit something, but missing each and every time. I really needed some self-defense classes, god damnit. Still, the predatory looks in each and every one of the eyes I felt on my tiny form only caused a sense of nausea as I was pulled back, only to be slammed back into the wall hard- getting me to stop squirming. “So go ahead. Speak all you want. Your choices don’t matter. You’re alone in this.” He whispered in my ear harshly, before pulling me back once more and shoving me into the crowd of perverted managers behind him.

Later that night, I stared emptily at the wall. I had been laying there, on my side with my knees curled into my chest, for what seemed like hours now. Every couple minutes, I just found myself hurling whatever I could when I thought about what happened that morning. His parting words before I left for the evening being stuck and glued in my mind.

‘’You’ll never find anyone who treats me as well as I do, Sharp. Remember that. No one would ever love you the way I do.’’

I shuddered, violently, trying to will the memory beyond the fog that’s kept me distant all night since. I swallowed down the bile threatening to come back up again, rolling onto my other side and staring outward, towards the dresser. “How could I let that happen….augh, dumbass…” I swore to myself, shaking my head. ‘This wouldn’t have happened if I had done something different...Or maybe I shouldn’t have taken Yasmine’s deal to begin with…’ But in the end, it all circled back to how tired I was. Tired physically, mentally, emotionally. Everything felt unbearably numb, between the bruises along my side and the tears beginning to make a new set of tear tracts down my face. Ophelia kept blowing up my phone, asking if I was okay. I hadn’t spoken all evening, unlike the normal. She was so worried, and that sickened me even more. ‘I don’t want to worry anyone when I get there… I want to show my sister how capable I can be, and can become. When I move there, I’m going to do my damndest to not let anyone treat me that way.’ I thought to myself, before closing my eyes to try and stop the blur of tears in my vision. ‘...But what if he’s right? Who would love me for me? I don’t even love me for me…’ My thoughts kept conflicting themselves. I found myself unable to sleep that night, nor the nights after, as I tried to chew through my own self doubt, in which would never fade.

The next few days went by in a dull blur, as I didn’t even bother myself with going into work until the last day. I got hounded for it, but I just...couldn’t escape the numb feeling. It ached, dully, in my heart. I just was waiting to escape, to get the weight away from my shoulders. But, nothing prepared me for when the day had arrived. Ophelia saw me off, dark hair covering their light brown eyes, and I was near squished in a giant hug. “Hey now, you better be doing some great things out there, Renny!” They told me, and I gave a small cough. “Ophelia...please...can’t breathe-” I struggled through a small laugh and gasps of air. They let me down a moment later, giggling. “Sorry, sorry.” “It’s alright. Your hugs are probably the best.” I noted with a giggle, rubbing my arm- which was now sore from being squished. “Awh, Renny!” “Don’t start.” I instantly quipped in, jokingly pointing their way with a laugh. They burst out laughing as well, a melody that fills the bus terminal. I smile quietly, hugging them tightly in return with a small squeak like sound. They’ve been my best friend since high school, and moving away after we’ve been close to each other for so long almost tore my heart to shreds. “I’m gonna miss you, though, too, Pheli.” I went on to say, “Don’t you forget about me.” Ophelia smiled, not even phased by how tight my hug might’ve been, instead gently patting my back and hugging me again in return. “I would never. You know that, Ren. You’re going to be the best person you can be, I can feel it. Just...make sure to call, okay?” Ophelia’s voice began to break at the end of her spiel, and I look up to see the tears in her eyes, dropping into her glasses. “Hey, now...don’t cry. I’ll call every night, okay?” I felt my own eyes begin to water, pulling back a bit to press a platonic smooch to their cheek, “I better get going, bus is gonna pull up any minute now. I’ll be seeing you, alright?” I step back a bit, letting Ophelia dry their eyes a bit and nod. “Yeah, don’t wanna miss your bus, you bi idiot…” They mumble with a shake of their head. I laugh, shaking my head. “See ya, you gay bastard!” I quickly wave behind me, scooping my bag over my shoulder before taking off further into the terminal. I faintly heard them call out a ‘See you later!’ behind me as I took off. About 30 some minutes later, I kept my gaze outside the window of the bus, as it headed off, staring at the city as it passed...Jeez, I took the bus so many times- mostly to get to and from work or other places, since I didn’t drive- but I never thought… That there would be a last time as someone who lives in the city. I smile to myself, despite having to quickly wipe away the tears in my eyes once again. I’d miss the city, if I was entirely honest. I loved the bustling and hustling, and the constant never-ending stream of activities that was provided. Every week there was some new trend to try, or something interesting to partake in. Yet, I was never happy living in the city. ‘I’ll need to come back and visit Ophelia sometime...I’m sure they’ll appreciate a good visit.’ I thought to myself, yawning quietly. Damnit, fuck motion sickness. I don’t remember what it was called, however, but it was basically a degree of motion sickness where it tires out the patient, rather than making them nauseous. Just another reason to keep me away from the driver’s wheel at all costs. I kept my bag held close to my chest, staring out the window with a soft sigh. ‘I hope things’ll be different soon…’ I thought to myself, before I ended up dozing off to sleep.

I woke up when I heard a sudden hiss in my ear, my shoulder being shaken. “Ren? Ren, wake up you idiot-!” I blinked my eyes a bit, left over exhaustion making everything feel disoriented. I look over, to where my sister was leaning over beside me, before shaking her head, “Good grief, you weren't waking up before. C’mon.” She stood up a bit straighter, motioning for me to follow her off, “Grab your bags and let’s get moving. It’s a little later than normal, so we’ll be starting off again in the morning.” I nod a bit, my brain still fuzzy from the ride over, before slowly getting to my feet and slinging my bag over my shoulder, before quickly following her off...and instantly reeling because ew sun. “Ah-!” I cover my face for a few moments before letting my hands slowly fall back to their sides. “Easy, it’s bright. Trust me, I don’t like it either.” Yasmine went on to say, before giving a proper pat to my shoulder, “You’ll get used to it though.” I nod a bit, taking a moment to appreciate that my sister was still wearing a black Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a pair of capris. Plus, she smiled at me. I couldn’t quite make out if it was genuine, or a forced one- I never could quite guess with her- before she laughed a bit and shook her head. “Dude, you look like you’re looking at an alien.” She said with a raise of the brow, “You good?” “Yeah...yeah, it’s just been a while. It’s good to see you sis.” I reply, trying to shake the fuzz out of my head until my head manages to clear out a bit more to focus on everything else around me. Looking around, I found myself giving a half smile at the environment around me, bright and green and just the perfect photo opportunity for the first day of spring. I found myself unable to form words, simply taking a moment to catch my breath and come to realize that this...was really happening. This was real. This was what my life would be now, if only for a little while. My sister took a few steps ahead of me, looking back to me with a teasing smirk, likely knowing that this was exactly how I’d react. I was an easy person to read, on the surface of my personalities. Sometimes she calls me the ‘walking cliche.’ Still though, her smile faded to a more relaxed grin, before chuckling as I looked back to her. Without even faltering, she makes a small gesture around her, before turning and walking off with parting words- leaving me to scramble behind her.

“Welcome to Stardew Valley, kid. Cmon, we’ve got some work to do.”

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.