#anyways whenever I draw these two lately I’ve been trying to channel that like

[1driedpersimmon]

Som //Suggestive Sid/Sesame heheee :3c

[ninzied]

that which we call a rose

based on the prompt: a hello/goodbye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it.

happy valentine’s day, kastle fam!

On the second Thursday of every month, Karen can’t help the extra spring in her step. There’s no point in trying to hide it—she does have an office adjacent to Matt’s, after all—but until she knows what it even is, she’ll let her friends draw their own conclusions.

This month is no exception.

“So…hot date tonight?” asks Foggy, precisely ten minutes after Matt’s said goodbye. Though Foggy’s doing his best to sound nonchalant, he’s clearly been waiting all day to spring the question on her. “You haven’t stopped smiling since you walked in this morning. And that was before we even had coffee. What gives?”

“Not a date,” says Karen lightly. “But a something.”

“Wait.” Foggy looks up from his briefcase, dropping every pretense now. “Yeah? That’s great! I’m so happy for you, Karen.”

She looks a little bemusedly at him. “Thanks, Foggy, but it’s not a big deal. Just takeout and whatever’s on TV tonight, probably.”

“Hey,” says Foggy. “Not gonna lie, but that sounds pretty appealing right now.”

Karen lets out a laugh. “Why? What’s stopping you and Marci?”

“You know how she gets about this kind of thing.” Foggy glances at his watch, and groans. “Shoot. I still have to pick up flowers. I can’t afford to be late—literally. This place had like a five-month wait list for tonight, and I think there’s a surcharge if we hold up one of their tables.” He throws her a rueful smile. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” says Karen, in a tone that she hopes will come across as commiserating rather than slightly confused. Was there some memo about today that she missed?

“And you have a good ‘not a date but a something,’” says Foggy, practically beaming at her. “You can”—he gives a comical wag of his eyebrow—”not tell me all about it tomorrow, sound good?”

“Sure,” says Karen, smiling distractedly. She waits until Foggy has gone, the door closed securely behind him. And then she picks up her tiny desk calendar, which she’d forgotten to flip over to February, and looks down at today’s date.

Oh. God.

…

The signs are everywhere, on her walk home from the subway.

For the life of her, Karen doesn’t know how she could’ve missed them before. Paper hearts plastered on storefront windows. Floral shops spilling out onto the sidewalks. Restaurants boasting their two-for-one specials. And the couples. All the couples, wherever she turns.

By the time she’s at her apartment, Karen is nearing levels of genuine panic.

She hangs up her work clothes as if on autopilot. She pulls on a worn pair of leggings and a soft, oversized sweater before pausing to reconsider, and then she changes out of that too. This isn’t just any second Thursday of the month anymore.

She checks her phone, in case Frank has canceled.

She does have a text from him, but all it says is that he’s running about a half hour late—his latest demolition site is all the way up in the Bronx, and traffic is a bitch right now—but how does she feel about Vietnamese for dinner?

There’s no doubt in her mind that the day has not occurred to him either.

Perfect. I’ll be ready with the wine, she sends back, and immediately wonders what has come over her. Beer would’ve been the more appropriate choice for this very much not-a-date, and besides that, they never drink wine together. Whiskey, sometimes, but they’d finished off her last bottle of Maker’s the last time he was here.

Wine is different. Wine means something. Right?

What was she thinking?

And what on earth is she supposed to wear?

…

Karen answers the door an hour later, back in her sweater and leggings. She breathes a small sigh of relief to find Frank there in his typical attire—jeans, with a faded black henley, and a crooked half-grin as he steps over the threshold into her apartment.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” he says back, like it’s just another day. Like this is just another dinner for them to catch up. He holds up a bag and says, “Hungry?”

“Starving.” She reaches for the food so he can get out of his coat, but he waves her gently off.

“’S’okay, I got it.” He looks at her, his gaze going warm. “Think you said there’d be wine?”

And just like that, the rest of her anxiety melts away. There’s still a light flutter of nerves in her stomach, but that’s something else.

Something that she’s always going to feel whenever she’s around him, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or not.

…

Despite how casually Frank is dressed, there’s always a sense of formality to the way he moves around in her place. Like he’s not quite sure whether he’s intruding or not.

He carefully folds his jacket over the back of her couch before taking the food to her kitchen, unpacking each dish as she pulls out the wine.

She tells him about work—minus Foggy’s theories on how she planned to spend her evening—and Frank doesn’t say much, but she knows that he’s listening, attentive to her as ever.

Somewhere between the first and second glass of wine is when he starts to loosen a little, leaning his elbows onto the counter, swiping the last bite of spring roll from her plate.

He tells her small stories about how work has been going for him, and each time she laughs he ducks his head down, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

They end up eating half the food before realizing they’re still standing in her kitchen.

Frank takes their wine to the couch, and she turns the TV on at low volume, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

They settle on a cooking show, which would’ve surprised her one year ago, before these Thursday night dinners. Before he teased her for the one frying pan that she owned and resigned himself to eating takeout from then on. Before they learned to laugh about things like what Matt said at work that day, or the fact that Frank hasn’t had to kill anyone with a sledgehammer. Not recently, anyway.

“All right,” he says, pointing at the pasta on her TV screen. “Next month, we’re doing this at my place for a change, and I’m making you that.”

She doesn’t know why she does it.

Maybe it’s his casual reference to next times. Maybe it’s how closely they’ve wound up sitting together, with her thigh snug against his, the arm he’s draped warmly over the back of the couch right behind her.

Maybe it’s the way this not-so-random Thursday in February feels as though it could become something like every day, for them.

“Deal.” She puts a hand on his knee without even thinking about it, smiling as she tells him, “All right, I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick.”

“Okay,” says Frank, turning to smile back at her.

It happens so fast, so instinctively that before she knows what she’s doing, she’s leaning in, and pressing her mouth briefly to his as she stands from the couch.

Like this is an everyday kind of thing for them too, kissing each other before one of them’s about to leave the room.

Karen makes it down the hall without any memory of how her legs have carried her there. Oh God. Oh God.

Her cheeks are flaming when she shuts the bathroom door behind her.

…

After splashing water on her face, and dabbing it dry with shaky hands, she looks in the mirror and wills every last part of her being to get a freaking grip. This is Frank, and she can be honest with him. Even if it means being honest with herself.

She knows what this is. She knows what she wants it to be. And she’s done letting either of them think that anything less is going to be enough for her.

Karen takes a deep breath and steps out of the bathroom.

…

She hadn’t been gone long, but apparently it was long enough.

The TV’s shut off, their wine glasses cleared from the coffee table. He’s not on the couch.

He’s not—anywhere in her living room.

But as she moves closer, she sees his coat still folded there, and then she hears the sound of movement in the kitchen. She doesn’t know whether she’s more relieved or apprehensive at the prospect of facing him right now, but she supposes she’s grateful she even has the option to decide between the two.

Frank’s clearing the counter, so she can’t get a good read on his face. He’s quiet, though, brows creased together even more somberly than usual, and the fact that he won’t meet her eye should tell her everything he’s not saying out loud.

Their leftovers are stacked neatly next to the takeout bag. He slides the bag out of her way as she picks up the food containers, storing them in her fridge. There’s a six-pack of beer on one of the lower shelves, the bottles clinking together as she closes the door.

“Frank,” she says, careful not to look over at him, “I think we should talk about what we’re doing here.”

He swallows audibly. And then he says, “Yeah. I know.”

She glances at him, wishing she weren’t as surprised as she feels. She’d expected more resistance from him, if not outright denial. It’s unfair of her, she knows; Frank’s abysmal track record notwithstanding, he’s still here, despite the fact that she’d just snuck a kiss out of him without his permission. That has to mean something.

Right?

God love him, though, but he can’t seem to keep his hands still. He grips the edge of the counter, and then reaches into the takeout bag, a rustle of paper and plastic that echoes overloudly in the silence between them.

Karen presses her lips together, biting back a refrain about how now is probably not the time for dessert.

Instead, Frank pulls out a small bouquet of white roses.

She stares as he sets them down on the counter. When he looks up at her, it’s with an intensity that nearly knocks her off her feet, and she grips the counter edge too in order to steady herself.

His gaze is unwavering on hers. “I’ve been thinking about this day for a while.”

She blinks at him, a part of her still wondering if it’s wrong of her to hope. “You have?”

“More than anything.” He shifts closer, and now she can see the last of the fear in him too, how he’s finally reached past it for something—for more. The edge of her own fear starts to soften, giving way to that fluttering lightness only Frank can make her feel.

Karen steps forward, marveling at the shared heat between them without their bodies actually touching. “And what, exactly, have you been thinking?”

Frank brings his hand up to the back of her neck, and she closes her eyes as he pulls her in.

He kisses her, and it’s everything Karen has wanted, everything she could only pretend that she hadn’t been waiting for all this time. He kisses her, and she knows how long he’s been wanting, and how hard he’s been waiting for this too.

He draws in a hoarse breath when they part. “I wanted to get this right,” he murmurs.

“Well,” says Karen, trying—failing—not to smile, “you want to know what I think?”

He tightens his arms around her. “What?”

“I think this is a good place to start,” she says, and leans in to kiss him again.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

                                                 *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading! 

                                              previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter 

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint). 

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was fucked. 

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked. 

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created. 

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N. 

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach. 

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true. 

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late” 

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior. 

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck” 

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that” 

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?” 

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit. 

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town” 

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity” 

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?” 

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one” 

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby” 

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’. 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid” 

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you” 

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her. 

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp. 

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked 

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering. 

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch. 

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

                                                  -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[khunfounded]

Got Me In Check

[This was done for the wonderful @tower-of-chess collab!]

It was the late afternoon, sunshine pouring in through the dorm’s cloudy windows, and Khun was pretending to pay attention to his online probabilistic graphic models lecture while actually watching BEST 2 HOUR LONG FUNNY CAT COMPILATION  in another browser. It didn’t matter anyways, he was already ahead in all of his work, and he could answer the professor’s questions without even paying attention.

Cats were a much more important endeavor anyways.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and his roommate, Bam, came racing towards him. His golden eyes were filled with desperation, and he was panting as if he had just run a marathon. It was unfair how Bam could pull off the hot and sweaty look (with emphasis on the hot) whilst Khun was stuck with frizzy hair and blotchy cheeks anytime he went sprinting across campus.

“Khun, I’m in trouble!” Bam wailed, hands gripping the armrests of his roommate’s chair, “I need your help”.

Khun’s eyes widened with concern, “Are you okay? What’s wrong? What can I do?”

If this was another Rachel problem, Khun swore to god he was actually going to stab her this time. He couldn’t put up with how easily she manipulated his friend, leading him around by the ear. Bam insisted that she was a good person, but her actions showed the exact opposite. What kind of person constantly gaslit and negged their friends? Khun knew the answer. An absolute asshole, that’s who.

But instead of what he expected, what came out of his friend’s mouth was, “I need you to teach me how to play chess!”

What.

“What?” Khun asked incredulously. 

Bam must have realized how he sounded, because he pulled away and tilted his head down to hide a prominent blush. He bit his lip and mumbled something incoherent.

As adorable as that was, it really wasn’t helping Khun’s confusion, “I didn’t quite catch that”.

Bam looked back up and his face got even more red, the blush spreading to the tips of his ears. He fidgeted with the loose strand of his t-shirt and cleared his throat.

“You know how I’ve been wanting to make more friends?” Bam hedged.

Khun did. Bam was a social butterfly, he needed friends to thrive, but ever since they moved away for college, he had been having trouble making them. Khun’s heart ached whenever he saw Bam looking longingly at groups of people messing around and laughing on the campus green. He and Bam were best friends, and they spent almost all of their free time together, but Khun knew that that wasn’t enough. He had no idea why Bam wasn’t surrounded by people at all times, honestly. His natural charisma could fell even the most stoic man. Though maybe he was a little biased.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“And you know how you suggested that I join some clubs to meet people?” Bam didn’t stop to let him answer, voice going a mile a minute like it did whenever he was emotional, “Well I met a really cool group of people, and their club president invited me to join and I said yes”.

Khun could guess where this was going.

“But?”

Bam covered his face with his hands and groaned before answering, “I said yes without realizing that it was the chess club. I don’t know how to play chess! But I already agreed and I don’t wanna flake out and I really, really want to be friends with them”.

Bam lifted up his head and grabbed Khun’s hands, pulling them to his chest. Khun’s heart rate tripled. That probably wasn’t good. But, hey, he wasn’t a physio major, what would he know?

“I had no idea what to do but then I remembered that I know the smartest person ever, and if anyone would be able to help me it would be him”.

“You’re just saying that to butter me up,” Khun chuckled.

“Please?” Bam pouted, “For me?”

Oh god, how could he say no to that? Curse Bam for knowing that he was Khun’s ultimate weakness. He sighed.

“You’re lucky that I used to play chess with Ran, otherwise you’d be screwed”.

Bam let go of his hands, doing a fist pump in excitement, “Yes! Thank you so much!”

“But next time we go get pho, you’re footing the bill”.

They decided to get started later that evening, borrowing a chess board from the desk assistant and bringing it to their floor’s rec room. Luckily, the only other people there were Wangnan and Quaetro, who were busy trying to murder each other in Mario Kart, and Hwaryun, who was working on her laptop. Khun assumed that she was editing a video for her terrifyingly popular conspiracy theory youtube channel. He and Bam sat on the floor in the corner of the room, far enough away that Quaetro’s evil laughter was a bearable volume.

Khun took out the pieces and placed them on the chess board, explaining each of them as he went. Bam was looking at him intently, eyes full of interest. Khun had to avert his gaze just so he could be able to focus and not turn into an incoherent mess. He fondly reminisced about the days long past when he was able to pull off being aloof and cool. Bam had left his reputation in ruins.

When he got to the Queen, he said, “She can move in any straight direction as far as possible as long as she does not move through any of her own pieces. She is the most powerful piece of the game, so use her wisely”.

“So she’s like Khun!” Bam grinned brightly.

“What do you mean?” Khun asked, rubbing his thumb against the edge of the Black Queen.

Bam reached out and took the White Queen, cradling it in his palm and smiling softly, “You’re the most important, too”.

Khun felt his cheeks heat up. Was this flirting? Was Bam flirting with him? No, of course not, that wouldn’t make any sense. There was no way it could be possible, but how the hell else could he interpret that?

Khun had long accepted the fact that his crush on his best friend was hopeless and would never be reciprocated, but lately things kept happening that made it impossible for him to not get his hopes up. Bam had always been affectionate, but it had increased ten fold in the last few months. When they sat on Khun’s bed (which Bam always claimed was far superior to his own) and binged youtube videos together, Bam would cuddle right up against him like a content cat.

Once, when Bam had had a particularly long day at work, he had walked straight into Khun’s arms and just held him for several minutes, tears of exhaustion seeping into Khun’s shirt. Afterwards, they had sat close together on the dorm room floor and Bam spilled out all his frustration and anxiety, fidgeting with Khun’s hand the whole time.

Sometimes, when they were walking downtown together, Bam would just take Khun’s hand and intertwine their fingers, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He wouldn’t even stop his excited rambling, just continuing on as if nothing had happened.

But something had happened between them, and Khun needed to find out what or he was going to go insane.

And in this moment, he decided that, fuck it, two could play at that game.

“So does that mean you’re my King?” He asked, smiling when Bam’s eyes widened and he ducked his head.

“If you’ll have me,” Bam murmured, biting his lip.

Were they still talking about chess? Khun wasn’t sure.

“How could I say no to that?” He said just as softly, before clearing his throat and picking up the White King, “Anyways, the King can only move one square in any direction, and he can never move himself into check”.

The moment was successfully derailed, but the electric charge of something was still in the air, even as Khun led Bam through some easy strategies.

“Now, you should make sure that you focus on the center four squares of the board,” he guided Bam, “Whoever dominates those dominates the game”.

Bam’s eyebrows scrunched up, and Jesus, why was he so cute? It should be illegal. Put him away for life.

“Okay,” he told Bam, “When you can get into a draw with me, that’s when you’re ready”.

And so began Bam’s week-long training, which he said was more intense than anything he’d ever done at Jinsung’s dojo. It was also much harder on Khun’s side, to hold himself back from absolutely decimating his friend in three moves, which Bam made sure to make fun of him for.

“I think it’s cute!” he said, “You’re trying so hard just to help me”.

“I’m not cute,” he grumbled as he took Bam’s Rook out of spite.

The entire thing was a learning experience for both of them. Bam was learning how to play chess, and Khun was learning that Bam had absolutely terrifying game rage. His eyes practically crackled with electricity and Khun heard him cuss more times in those few days than he had in his entire time of knowing him. Baby Khun would be distraught, but Adult Khun was kind of into it.

“Fuck!” Bam cursed when Khun got him in check, startling the sleeping burrito Laure, and making Khun burst out laughing. Bam stuck his tongue out and flicked Khun’s Queen, toppling her over. 

Khun moved the chess pieces back a few moves, and guided Bam’s hand to moving the Knight in a way that would have trapped him.

“This is where you went wrong,” he said, “Your instinct is good for your dancing, but you need to plan ahead with chess”.

But Bam didn’t seem to be paying attention. In fact, his eyes were glued to where their hands were touching. Khun jolted back when he realized what he had done, but Bam took his hand before he could move away, shifting so he was holding it. Khun died a little, but he was pretty sure he didn’t let it show. Relatively sure. Kind of.

They managed to play with their hands together, but Khun’s brain was mush. That was when Bam finally got a draw. Khun would have protested, but that would mean admitting why he was distracted.

As Bam was cheering and texting Isu that he was coming to the next meeting, Khun put away their pieces, trying not to feel loss. Bam didn’t need him anymore, at least not for this. He had always known it wasn’t permanent, but a part of him had hoped it would last a little longer. Khun bit his lip.

“Hey, Khun?” Bam said, voice still brimming with excitement.

“Yeah?” his voice sounded hollow. Damnit.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come, too? I just thought, you’re really good at it, and I think you’d like everyone there, and I want you to be friends with my friends”.

Khun blinked. He blurted out his answer before he could even think.

“Yeah. Yes, I would love that”.

Bam grinned, face lit up like the sun.

He reached over, hands gently cupping Khun’s face, and brought him in close. So close they were breathing the same air. Bam’s smile turned soft and he nuzzled their noses together before his sunshine eyes flickered down to Khun’s lips.

Oh god, was this happening? It was happening. Oh god. Khun’s brain stuttered and broke down. There was never a time in his short, short life where he thought that this would ever be possible, that Bam would ever think of him in this way. But Khun had always been a selfish person, he wasn’t going to take this gift for granted.

He leaned in, bridging the gap, and then they were kissing over the chess board and it was everything. Bam hummed into it, pecking Khun’s lips once, twice, three times. Khun tugged him in and kissed him for all he was worth, knocking the chess pieces over in the process. After one last kiss, Bam pulled away, giggling.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, Khun!”

[mindswe-had]

I was pretty stupid at twelve. Might get into the causes for that later, but long story short I got into self harming. Yeah, that wasn’t glorious. I never really planned on actually doing this, but I’ve come to realise a few people I know close to me have been having the same issues lately. And I can’t lie, it’s been pretty triggering for me getting into the details of why, how and when every time someone reaches out to me for help. So I figured why not just write about it. I guess here’s how I got out of it, and what keeps me going. Because I feel like no matter the what caused it to occur, self harming never is the only thing you’ve got left. Welcome to one of many unwritten therapy sessions.

Part one- please listen to me

I think, looking back, that one of the main reasons I got into self harming was I didn’t feel listened to. Or “left out”, as I would call it. I could’ve had dozens of friends around (which I did not anyway lol), I would’ve always felt alone. Well not alone, but lonely. And I remember even back then wishing so hard to have someone close to me, someone so persistent they would’ve gotten through the walls I was (subconsciously) building around myself. Having no one, or at least feeling like you don’t, can quickly become the start of an even deeper downfall. And that’s exactly what happened with me, but once again I am not getting into the details of this now.

So how do you make someone struggling with self harming actually FEEL like you’re there? I’d say first off, be available and let them know you are. But don’t insist on it, else it just feels like you’re trying to get them to tell you something. It starts with nothing, really. Even just sitting with them for a minute and asking about their day helps. Or just sit in silence with them if they let you, feeling someone’s presence can be extra comforting sometimes. Or watch with them that one show they like so much. Show them that you care always. Don’t be too intrusive, leaving the person their own space is key, but let them know you’re free for them whenever they need. No matter how hard you want to help someone that might be struggling, do not ever push them to talk about things they want to keep a secret. As long as you let them know you’re here and not going, you’re becoming sort of a safe space to them. And you do not always want to talk when in a safe space. So don’t ask questions, but listen instead. If they want to talk to you and feel safe enough with you they will. It never really is a one way thing though. Put some trust in them as well. Confide in them, even on the most little stuff. Inevitably that makes them feel somewhat valued, which is crucial when it comes to helping them trust you. Most importantly, it’s so incredibly hard becoming part of someone’s safe space without forcing yourself in. It takes so much time, gentleness and patience. Don’t blame yourself if they don’t talk to you right away. Some people can build the highest walls around themselves without even trying which can even make you feel rejected, but trust me there always is a way in if you’re patient enough. Always. Listen. Even silence can mean a lot if you listen hard enough.

Part two- alternatives?

One of the main things that helped me cope with self harming whenever I felt like doing it was finding alternatives for it. You can probably find a bunch online if you look them up, but for me what worked the most was writing. Well it was journaling really, but I’ve always hated the whole concept of a diary so I refuse to call it that. I used to have this old yellow copybook by my bedside I would grab pretty much every night, whenever I felt the urge to cut. And from there I’d just start writing about my day or whatever it was I had on my mind. Sometimes I’d copy quotes I liked (mainly from Grey’s are we surprised), sometimes I’d even just doodle. Whatever it was that kept my mind off cutting for a while. I think in a way I felt like writing about my own problems made them a little bit less heavy, and more real if that makes sense. On some days that would be enough to make the urge pass.

Music was also a great therapy for me. I’d literally sneak my old mp3 in bed and blast sad songs in my earphones at 2am. Sometimes I’d get so caught up I’d even get up and cry dance out to whatever it was I was playing. I used to do that until passing out of exhaustion most of the time and I actually loved it, it was such a great way to evacuate.

“Replacing the harm” was something I used to do as well to keep me from cutting. That was basically just replacing the harm caused by cutting by something that was technically a bit better. Still harmful but better. And for that most of the time I’d either do sports, eg running really hard until the sole of my feet was aching, or I’d just use the elastic method. That just consisted in keeping an elastic around my wrist at all times, most often a hair tie, and snapping it on my wrist or arm whenever I felt the need to take something out on myself. That worked wonders especially because it was so discreet I could use it whenever I felt the need to at any time of the day, which would always take a considerable amount off the buildup that would make me cut at night.

The butterfly method was also something I used on a few occasions. That just consisted in drawing butterflies on your arms (or wherever else it is you usually harm yourself) so that when you felt like cutting you’d see them and would be kept from doing it, because you’d metaphorically be cutting their wings off and killing them if you were to actually were to cut. I didn’t use that one often but it did help a few times. I found it also worked with writing names of people I loved (real of fictional), and basically any other doodle of an animal.

Once again though, these alternatives are only what worked for me and what I used the most when I was into self harming, most of them I still use even now as they’ve just stuck with me. But they’re far from being the only valid ones existing.

Part three- NEVER say don’t

That one is about to be very short, but do not ever tell a person who self harms not to self harm. It’s plain stupid, won’t make them stop and they probably already know it isn’t good for them. It’s also invalidating as hell and will only make them feel worse if they’re anything like me. Instead you can try and show understanding. I remember once a girl online told me something like “I won’t tell you to stop cutting because I know you won’t, but please make sure you at least clean up your wounds properly and get stitches if necessary”. And that honestly meant so much more than anyone could ever imagine. I didn’t feel blocked of forced to stop but accompanied and understood, which itself helped me a lot and if I’m being honest it was so unexpected her words have stuck to me to this day.

Part four- stop counting clean days

When self harming, I found a lot of people tend to count their clean days (dc’s) as a way to encourage themselves to recover (clean days being days during which you don’t self harm). I did it as well, that for a very long time. It only makes you feel like pure shit when you relapse. Because inevitably there ARE relapse days during recovery, which is something practically no one talks about. You don’t just snap out of it you know? Every time I’d relapse I’d just look at my previous clean days count and think to myself the most horrible stuff. Let’s say I had just broke off a 12dc’s, I wouldn’t sit there and be proud of myself for lasting so long, instead I’d just tell myself “Wow see? You went so far up for nothing. You’ll never recover so why bother trying anyway” and that itself would trigger a urge to go even harder on myself. The moment you stop counting clean days is the moment you allow yourself to heal, slowly but surely, even if you can trip a little down the road there.

Part five- people you relate to

One last thing I can think of that helped me with self harming was finding people I was seeing myself in, somehow. I’m thinking personally of Amelia from Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice who had a drug problem, and mostly a YouTuber called Johanna Cadence. Ana used to make videos on YouTube mainly talking about her own depression, suicide attempt(s) and self harming issues. Sometimes they were just videos of her rambling, sometimes they were art videos, sometimes poetry readings. Whatever it was she put out, even song covers, would comfort me. We basically grew up together. She was always so different from me yet we were similar in a lot of ways, and I always admired her so much for that. By the time I started watching her her channel was called Howsenselessdeath Howpreciouslife, but she’s renamed it to Universal Hobo since then I believe. Most of her early videos are still up if you scroll far enough.

My point with this is, find yourself people who make you feel like you belong. They don’t have to be Amelia from Grey’s or Ana from YouTube, there are plenty of people out there, but finding yourself someone that represents to you what those people were to me undeniably helps, in a huge way.

[flutteringphalanges]

                                          Mirabile Visu

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing

Chapter: 12/?

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N:  So we had to put my seventeen year old cat down early this morning. I've had him since elementary school. While I was writing this chapter, he came up to the table and sat with me one last time. This chapter is special, not due to the content, but because it was our last time together. Anyway, thank you so much everyone who read and left a review for the last chapter. It means the world. -Jen

                                           Chapter Twelve

                                     Zoe Van Helsing's Residence

                                                Present Time

As the sun began to set in the west, the orange glow of the day spilled past the open curtains of Sorina's window. For hours now, the young woman had remained tucked underneath her covers, finally getting the sleep her body so desperate craved. Agatha sat in a chair close by, her eyes still fixated on her unconscious child as they had been since the beginning. Over a century had passed since she had witnessed Sorina sleeping, and though her heart ached for her, she took comfort in the sounds of her soft snores.

"How is she?"

The former nun turned her head to see Dracula standing in the doorway. He'd been downstairs watching the news as reports broke out about the mysterious fire that had started in the Jonathan Harker Foundation. Numerous bodies had been found, too burned to immediately identify. Everything inside had been destroyed too. Machinery melted. Records turned to ash. As it turned out, not much was known to the public what the institution was or stood for. From what he gathered, nothing could be traced back to them.

"Still asleep," Agatha sighed, watching as her husband drew nearer. "And Jack?"

"Passed out on the couch," and she could tell from his voice he still wasn't too keen on the other man being here. "Why don't you let me take over. You need to rest."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I'd rather stay here with her." Despite the many hours they'd been there, neither she nor Dracula had spoken much. "She looks so peaceful. I can't help but think back to when she was just a little girl." Agatha rested a hand on her stomach, still far from looking pregnant yet. "It still hasn't set in that we're going to have another either. Not like we've had much time to process things as it is."

Dracula touched her shoulder lovingly and she leaned against him. Sorina shifted underneath the blanket, but didn't wake up. Everything felt so surreal. One moment she had been on the burning deck of The Demeter, the then tiny Sorina clinging onto her for dear life, and the next she was standing on the sandy beach of Whitby over a century later. Her mind was reeling, trying to process it all. And yet, everything felt so slow, so calm as she gazed at her daughter.

"How are you feeling?" The count's voice pulled Agatha from her thoughts as her attention flickered to meet his eyes. "You need to feed. I'll contact Frank and see how soon he can retrieve some blood."

"I don't want anyone else to die, Dracula," his wife sighed tiredly. "There's been enough death today, some of which I am responsible for. I don't believe in killing, you know very well about that. I'm done with the suffering."

"I know," and she was slightly taken aback by how sympathetic he sounded. Especially when it came to their disagreements on obtaining blood-well, when it only involved his feedings in the past. "I promise you that anything Frank does will be legal and humane. I'll make sure of it."

Agatha merely nodded, turning back to focus on Sorina. The uncertainty of how she would be once she woke up felt unsettling. As the minutes wore on and the sky became darker, the former nun finally stood up to stretch her legs. She walked over to the window with the intention of drawing the curtains closed when she heard the bed creak softly.

"Mum?"

The vampire turned to see that her daughter was now sitting up, comforter pushed aside. Sorina blinked wearily as Agatha hurried back to her side. Though she was trying her best to hide it, the halfling could tell her mother was trying to mask her concern, her lips forming a forced smile.

"Hi, darling," she murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind the girl's ear. "You've been asleep for quite awhile."

"Where's Jack?" Sorina mumbled, rubbing the side of her face.

"He's okay," Agatha assured her. "Downstairs sleeping with your father."

Sorina's eyes grew wide. "You left him alone with Dad?!"

"Easy," the vampire grabbed Sorina before she could stumble out of bed. "He's fine, I promise. Your father hasn't done anything to him. He knows better than to do that."

Her shoulders slumped and the halfling let out a heavy sigh. The more alert she became, the faster the memories of today resurfaced in her mind. Zoe. The woman that had grown up with her. The only family she thought she had left until just a few days ago. Gone. The anguish was still there, but now trapped under a layer of numbness. To feel anything was exhausting, so she tried not to.

"I want to see Jack," Sorina finally said, breaking the silence.

Agatha didn't object as Sorina rose to her feet. She followed from behind, noticing her daughter tense as she walked past a closed door. It could only have been Zoe's room. Who knows how long it would be until the young woman would be able to muster up the courage to go inside. That didn't matter right now. Sorina would do what she wanted when she was ready.

The television in the living room was still on, but the channel had changed to what appeared to be some antiques show. Towards the front door, Dracula was busy talking on the phone, his brow furrowed as if he was in a heated conversation. Perhaps Frank wasn't being as helpful after all. She turned to see that Sorina had already found her way over to Jack. The young man's eyes opened as the girl knelt down in front of him.

"Hey, Sunny," he gave her a weak, crooked smile. It was evident that he was still in a lot of pain. But he did his best trying not to worry Sorina about it. "Nice to see your face."

"Goofball," she smirked, but the amused expression faded when she noticed him wince. "Are you okay? Where does it hurt?"

"I'll survive," Jack assured her, grunting a little as he moved to sit up. "I've had worse. Remember when I told you about the time I fell out of a tree and broke my arm? This is nothing compared to that."

"You really need to work on your lying," Sorina frowned. "You've at least taken something for it, right?"

He seemed to hesitate, mouth pressed into a thin line. "Your mum found some painkillers in a cabinet for me. I took a few of those."

Sorina knew by the way he was acting what medication he was referring to. It wasn't your average, over the counter pill. No. It was one of Zoe's prescriptions. Something that had been prescribed to her for whenever she was feeling particularly ill. She bit her lower lip and merely nodded. At least it was going to good use.

"I don't see why my request is coming off as difficult to you," Dracula said coolly, pacing back and forth. There was a pause that seemed to only deepen the vampire's frown. "I'm not asking, Frank, I'm kindly telling you what I require and what my family requires. After everything I've experienced as of late, I'd highly suggest you avoid getting on my bad side." Another pause and the vampire's nostrils flared. "Yes, yes, I suppose that would do. Inconvenient, but better than nothing. I'll see you in a few hours."

He ended the conversation before the other man had a chance to finish. Exhaling, Dracula slipped his phone into his pocket.

"Frank said it'll take him a few hours to obtain some blood, but rest assured it will be done." His eyes flickered over to his daughter and the young man on the couch. "Micul mea liliac, I'm so glad you're awake." Ignoring Jack, who clearly reeked of nervousness, he went to Sorina's side. "Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" Dracula could almost feel Agatha's stare. Her silently nagging him to extend his hospitality to the boy. "Or you?" He asked in a very flat manner.

Both vampires were very new to the modern world. The fact that her father alone had adapted so fast to using a cell phone was surprising enough. Sorina wasn't even sure her mother knew how either a stove or an oven functioned. Hell, she still struggled with it. Zoe had always been the one to cook, the halfling nearly burning the house down a few times. Not that she was really hungry anyway. As she opened her mouth to turn down his offer, Jack cut her off.

"Pizza," he said, looking directly into her eyes as he said it. "With extra pepperoni."

                                                             XXX

The doorbell rang and Sorina shuffled over with a wad of cash she'd retrieved from one of the chest drawers. Three pairs of eyes watched as she twisted the knob, pulling the door open to reveal a rather scrawny looking teenage boy. Somewhat thrusting the money into his hands, muttering he could keep the change, she took the box.

"Exactly what is pizza?" Her father inquired, curiously eyeing the cardboard square as she set it down on the coffee table. They decided it was best not to make Jack move around.

"Cheese, dough, tomato sauce," Sorina stated, mumbling off the ingredients. "Sometimes pepperoni. It's pork."

"You always did have a taste for pig," the vampire remarked fondly. "Though certainly not in solid form."

"I haven't consumed blood for decades," the girl stated with a grimace, grabbing a slice. "It isn't exactly accepted by society-I mean, I don't have to survive off of it. But," out of the corner of her eye, she saw Agatha's soft frown. Something that reminded her of her mother's rebirth and new dietary needs that she was still coming to terms with. "I guess we do what we can to live."

The room fell quiet as both Jack and Sorina began to eat. Her appetite still wasn't where it normally was,and the halfling found herself picking at the toppings. At least pizza seemed to fare well if stored in the fridge.

"I never got to officially congratulate you," Jack said, putting an end to the silence. "On the new baby. I was an only kid myself. It'll be nice having a sibling, I bet," his gaze flickering between Agatha and Sorina.

"Thank you, Jack," and the vampire's smile was genuine. "Dracula and I haven't really had the time to process it. We'd always planned-well, desired another child. But didn't quite realize how quickly it'd happen."

"I suppose one might say I have very impressive and potent seed," the elder vampire smirked, earning him a smack on the arm for his wife. "What? I was only being honest."

"Our daughter doesn't need to hear about your capabilities," Agatha glowered as Sorina tossed her plate onto the table. Even if she was hungry before, she certainly wasn't now. "Your social skills leave much to be desired." She shook her head letting out a long sigh. "Anyway, Sorina was a lovely baby. I must admit I didn't have much experience around children. Nuns don't exactly have a family life besides their fellow sisters."

"Your life was truly dull until I came along," Dracula stated simply. "Tragic, perhaps."

"Yes, our introduction was certainly a positive one," his wife rolled her eyes. "You showing up unannounced, quite indecent I should add. You made quite the impact, I'll give you that."

"And you loved me for it," he grinned.

"No, I believe at the time I wanted to kill you," she mused. "I found myself feeling that often in the beginning. Especially when you practically kidnapped me and locked me away in that castle of yours."

"Now backtrack just a minute," the vampire held up his hands in seeming defensiveness. "Firstly, you willingly came-a trade off between you and Mina. That isn't kidnapping...more like mandatory you come with me, or I'll make you regret not doing so."

"A true romantic," Agatha snorted, unable to hide the small smile that graced her features. "And then there was chess."

"Ah, chess," he nodded fondly. "Now that was interesting."

"And something we won't go into detail with in front of our child," the former nun added quickly. "Anyway, where was I? Oh! That's right! Sorina. Yes, she was a good infant. A little nippy though. Inherited her teeth from her father."

"A fine trait indeed," her father added, his gaze meeting Agatha's. "Fond memories."

The vampires' eyes stayed locked on one another until their moment was interrupted by the doorbell. A look of annoyance briefly flashed across Dracula's face as his gaze broke away from Agatha's. Muttering about Frank he made his way over to the door.

"I'll put the pizza away," the former nun said, lifting the box up. "It's rather amazing how far ice boxes have come."

As she walked away, Jack's attention turned to Sorina. He looked off. Uncertain. And as he waited until both of her parents were out of sight, he took a deep breath.

"Sunny," he began. "Today was...well, I truly am sorry about Zoe. She was a good woman."

"Thanks, Jack. That means a lot coming from…"

"When Dr. Bloxham pointed that gun at you and it went off, for a moment I thought I'd lost you," the young man swallowed hard. "Sorina, you're the most important person in the world to me. And I know I'm not really all that special, or incredibly good looking…"

"Jack."

"And you're beautiful, Sunny. Like, I've seen the way other men look at you. And I know you could probably have any one of them you wanted…"

"Jack."

He exhaled. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…"

"Jack!"

Finally, the young man stopped his rambling. "Yes?"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Sorina smiled, leaning forward so their foreheads touched. "Took you long enough."

From the shadows, Agatha and Dracula stood quietly watching, the male vampire's grip tightening around the sealed container of blood he'd been given. As their lips met, anger and an urging sense to protect bubbled in his chest. His eyes darkened, and as he stepped forward with the intention of stopping the two, his wife grabbed his arm. He turned to look at her, the woman's gaze firm.

"Let them," she said gently.

"But," he began to protest. "She…"

"They deserve to be happy," Agatha continued. "She's not a little girl anymore."

Of course she wasn't. How could he have forgotten that? He watched as his daughter giggled, her eyes brighter than he'd seen them since they'd been reunited. He wasn't fond of the idea. To him, no one deserved Sorina. She was, after all, the most precious thing to him. But Agatha was right, as much as he hated it. She was. As always.

"Come," she smiled, reaching down to grasp his free hand. "Let's go have a drink and give them some privacy. Then we can rest. I'd like to watch the sunrise tomorrow with you."

Dracula nodded his head, giving his wife a grin. "I'd like that very much."

[ultraguardians]

Happy Birthday Luke!

—

Here’s a list of everyone on this drawing:

Top two behind, left to right: radicole + ctarhne

Middle, left to right: lotsofdreamboatz, cc, kaestiell, ultraguardians, lyssyloops, shutupsprinkles, cheapsushii

bottom two, left to right: sparkiemcfly + dragonessgem

—

BUT, before you go, make sure to read our messages :D!

“Happy birthday, bro! You’re a huge inspiration to me and frankly I cant thank you enough. I used to watch your content all the time when I was younger, rediscovering your content and joining your streams has been one of the best decisions ive ever decided to make. To make a long story short, my mental health has been in a rough spot for a long while but the first stream of yours’ I attended had me smiling all night for the first time in genuine years. Your music is just incredible, Ive used it to cheer myself up, get me inspired and to pump me up on many occasions, I seriously cant get enough of it and im not a good enough of a wordsmith to be able to describe how much your stuff has helped me and sadly I dont think there’s ever a way I could possibly repay you for all the rad stuff you’ve given to all of us. Keep being awesome, keep giving those good vibes! Happy birthday and all the best.“ -Lyssyloops

—-

“uhh hey mr town, happy birthday dude!! im very much a lurker im trying to sort of get out of that hole but. ive been a fan for. a long ass time now and ive always really appreciated your music and the few streams ive caught and just you.. existing, man. thanks for being you, happy removal day :kicc: (click here to see what :kicc: is!) -CC”

—- “hey luke! i’m way too shy to talk on streams sometimes, but i just want to say that you’re a huge inspiration to me and your music really helped me through a bit of a rough patch in 2018. keep being awesome, and happy birthday!”                 - from cheapsushii

—-

“YOOOO Put sprinkles on your birthday cake man!” -shutupsprinkles

—-

“luke, i sincerely just want to say thank you. thank you for everything you have done. all the music you’ve made, and all the videos as well on your channel. through your channel, i have met the most WONDERFUL people I could have ever met. each and almost every twitch stream, i get to meet more and more new friends each time. i always thought I was the lonely one out of the bunch, but now, all I see are friends all around me. now I see you all are here for me, and that’s such a cozy feeling, getting to talk to those on the stream and anywhere else. luke, just know this. you have made this summer the best summer I could have ever asked for- and i really REALLY mean that. thank you. sincerely. i hope you know how much of an impact you’ve made on all of our lives. happy birthday, luke. from all of us. - kae/kaestiell

—- ”(read each word out loud) hey mr luke it’s herobrine. thank you for teaching me the overwatch sir… remember kids education is important like a victory royale. anyway i believe i must admit mr sizemore, your cover of fireflies by owl city and heart-felt confession of wanting cocaine, which means crack truly moved me. dig up diamonds and craft those diamonds and make some armor, get it, go and forge that like you so MLG pro, godspeed, mr sizemore. uwu i howope youwu have a gweat biwthday….. i remember the first day i hopped in this stream and i thought, “uwu, whats dis?” it was magical. the absolute glee and giddy i find bubbling in my chest whenever I see the notification of your presence on my twitch is unrivaled. you have brought me those epic positive vibes and i respect you immensely.  for that, i wish upon you epic kills and minecraft cake. hit it fergie, godspeed - dream/lotsofdreamboatz (click here for free food)”

—- “Hey Luke! Hope you are having a good day! I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. I’ve only really been on your streams for about 3 months but those months have been an absolute blast. You are such an awesome creator and even if I only am able to stop by for a little bit I always leave your streams with a smile. You always have such positive, wholesome vibes and I really appreciate it. You are also incredibly talented and you inspire me to work hard to do the things I love. I hope that you achieve everything you could ever want to, you really deserve it. Honestly, just thank you for existing. You make the world a little brighter every day. Happy birthday! Never stop being awesome -Dragonessgem

 —- 

hi mister luke yungtown sizemore; have a happy very good very nice amazing birthday,,, you are a legend thank you for blessing me, mister seth ctarhne (and everyone else) with beautiful amazing content. get that bread bro :D if you don’t have a good birthday I might just have to come out of my hidey hole and i will put a good curse??? spell?? magic,, thing,,, on you so you can have a good day because you deserve it >:) 

 👁👃👁 

     👄 

—- I'm a little late but Happy birthday Luke!! I can't express how much I friggen love you. You brought back my love for rapping and I even plan on doing the Triforce rap for my talent show! (If I can find an instrumental version) You're kind and sweet and love what you do I respect that. You deserve so much! You're better than any modern rapper out there, Eminem included. I love you so much I named a stuffed animal of my favorite animal (penquin) after you! Have the best birthday possible!! ~Yellow Daisy AKA TRGFan101

 ----

“Hello mr town it is I. A cryptid. Twitch is the worst and won’t let me verify my account but I wish you the best birthday wishes possible and also the world, considering I have Asagao to thank for many friends of mine. Keep doing your funky thing sir. Happy birthday.”-Hawky, the one who’s mentioned by people but never shows up

—-

“Happy birthday, Luke. I’m glad I was able to find your twitch. Your content is down to earth and engaging, making it feel really personal and rewarding to interact with and watch your streams. You have continually been an incredibly respectful and genuine person, and that’s everything someone could want from a content creator, or just a friend in general. You’ve made yourself a friend to so many people, even making some friends around me genuinely light up when twitch notifications appear on their phone or laptop. I couldn’t thank you more for helping the people around me. I’ve only just started watching, but I’m here to stay. Have a phenominal year. - Crime/lordcrime”

—-

and last but not least, me, the one who put this all together :D!

“hewwo luke. I hope you have a great birthday my dude!! I tried my best to draw the apricot nectar cake, since you seemed so happy when you talked about it. But besides that, I hope you’re the happiest that you can be on this day and that your smile outshines the sun. Just know we all love you, dude, you’re fun, chill, happy and bring everyone’s spirits up, and the chat is always fun to talk in. Having come across your twitch streams over 6 months ago was the best thing that has happened this year, because, man, you have made a great community and I’m so glad man. Here’s hoping for more years with you and the yungfam. Again, happy birthday you mad lad. -eon/ultraguardians.”

—-

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[not-close-to-straight]

The Song Stuck In My Head (SWS #50)

SUNDAYS WITH SPIDEYPOOL MASTERLIST HERE

****************************

It was supposed to be romantic, hearing your soulmate’s voice in your head when they sing. It was supposed to draw the two of you closer together because you could learn their favorite song and know when they are sad or extra happy, or in a loving sort of mood-- all that sort of thing. 

Romantic. 

Or in Peter’s case, the single most annoying thing he had ever had to hear ever in his entire lifespan of twenty two years and eight months and fourteen days because for the past six hours, his soulmate had been singing “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic on constant repeat and Peter-- Peter didn’t even know how that was possible. 

Six hours. One song. Repeat. Titanic.

And it wasn’t just today. It had been yesterday and the day before that. Not the day before that though, and a few months ago, Peter had gone a full three weeks without hearing his soulmates voice in his head. But it always came back. Sometimes it was whispering, sometimes it sounded pained, but the singing always came back.  

And his soulmate didn’t have the worst voice, not really, but it certainly wasn’t Celine Dion and anyone attempting to sing like Celine Dion came across sounding like a pissed off cat who’d been left in the rain too long and after six solid hours of it, Peter was wondering if he could surgically remove the part of his brain that channeled his soulmate, because at this point his soulmate could actually BE Celine Dion and he wouldn’t want to hear her voice. 

“Spidey.” The singing cut off abruptly just as two hundred plus pounds of red and black clad muscles flopped onto the roof next to him, and Peter breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Pool. How’s it going?”

“You know, just once?” The merc shoved at him, which was probably meant to be playful but really almost sent Peter toppling over. “Just once I’d like you to ask me how it’s hanging. Just the one time. Give me one opportunity to answer that question.” 

“Absolutely not.” Peter shook his head. “Nope. That’s never happening.” 

“This relationship would be so much better if you set me up for all the jokes I wanted to crack.” He complained. “I mean, for a guy who dances around in tights and is all quippy and shit with criminals? You have a parched sense of humour.” 

“Parched.” Peter smiled beneath his mask. “I don’t think you’re using that adjective the right way.” 

“And yet you understood exactly what I meant, didn’t you? I tell you, Spidey. If you’d ever let me tap dat ass I’d be able to convince you we were soulmates.” 

“Soulmates have nothing to do with sex, Wade.” 

“I meant butt mates.” 

Peter hated that he laughed so hard, because it wasn’t funny, IT WASN’T, but Wade was teasing him and poking at him and ugh Peter loved that. 

Maybe he loved Wade, but he hadn’t figured that out yet. But he loved catching criminals with him, he loved inhaling all sorts of questionable fast food with him, he loved spending the nights on rooftops talking about nothing and everything and laughing until they were sick. 

He loved all of that.

“You’re thinking so hard I can practically see the lines on your head.” Wade commented and Peter glanced at him in confusion. “You know, think lines? Like in a comic book? And then when you figure it out, a lightbulb appears over your head?” 

“Uh--” 

“Nevermind, you’re like six years old.” Wade sighed dramatically. “Hey, I’m off to do something fantastic and heroic, you coming or gonna sit here brooding?” 

“Of course I’m--” Peter clapped his mouth shut and Wade groaned. 

“SO CLOSE! So close to making you say you were coming with me. Just say it Spidey, just one time!”

“Let’s just go, Wade.” 

*******************

Three a.m. and Peter’s eyes popped open wide as the first lines of “My Heart Will Go On” floated through his head and in a moment of pure pettiness, he started singing, “Johhhhhhhn Jacob Jinkleheimer Smith! His Name is my name too! Whenever we go out! The people always shout! John Jacob Jinkleheimer Smith! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA!!” 

Titanic went mercifully silent in his head, and then no less than a minute later-- Johhhhhn Jacob Jinkleheimer Smith! His name is my name too!-- and Peter wanted to just die. 

********************

“What is up, cranky britches?” Wade left a sharp smack on Peter’s butt as he walked by, and Peter was too tired to even swat his hand away. “You didn’t sleep last night?” 

“Uh, nope.” Peter lifted his mask tiredly and took a disinterested bite of his burger. “No sleep at all. Had a stupid song stuck in my head all night long. Kind of the worst thing ever.” 

“Oh hey, your soulmate thing kicked in?” Wade tapped at his temple, sounding absolutely delighted. “That’s great! When did that happen? Mine kicked in like... two years ago.” 

“You have a soulmate?” Peter cocked his head curiously. “Really?” 

“Well!” Wade huffed as if offended. “I’m an ugly sum’bitch but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a soulmate! Even WEASEL has a soulmate, and if that guy is meant for love I KNOW I am.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He rolled his eyes. “I just meant because of your whole ‘regeneration’ thing. Wouldn’t the soulmate thing be ruined every time you died and came back?” 

“Huh.” Wade took a bite of his own food. “I didn’t think about that. Maybe I’m blessed with dozens of soulmates, get a new one every time I respawn.” 

“Respawn.” Peter repeated. “That’s gross. Anyway, maybe you have one soulmate and you’ve just been blipping in and out of their head for like two...years...” his voice trailed off as he realized something. “Um... Wade--” 

“Blipping in and out, huh?” Wade didn’t even notice Peter hesitating. “That would be annoying as shit. I sing constantly, all the time. Usually 80′s power ballads, no one bops like they do, but I’ve been on this real Titanic kick lately. Have you ever heard Celine Dion sing? Not only is she gorgeous and Canadian, but she’s got pipes that make me cream.” 

“Um--” Peter thought he might choke. “Wade--” 

“Plus, she’s never aged! Not a day! She is just as gorgeous in Titanic as she is right now. Have you heard her sing the Titanic song?” without skipping a beat, Wade burst into song-- “EEEEEEVERY NIGHT IN MY DREAMS! I SEE YOU! I FEEEEEEEL YOUUUUUUUU AND THAAAAAAT IS HOW I KNOW YOUUUUUU GO ONNNNNNNNNN!”

Wade was practically shouting, and it was echoing with the voice in Peter’s head making him cringe and duck and scream, “WADE SHUT UP!” 

“WHAT!” Wade mock gasped. “How dare you shut up a tribute to our Canandian goddess, may she walk among us forever, that is just--” 

“Wade!” Peter yelled again and the mercenary shut up. 

“What, Spidey. You’re sort of ruining my moment here.” 

Peter took a deep breath and started singing, “John Jacob Jinkleheimer Smith. His name is my name too. Whenever we go out, people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jinkleheimer Smith--” 

“DA DA DA DA DA DA DA!” Wade finished with a cheer. “I love that song! I was singing it--” he hesitated. “All night last night. Because I was singing Titanic and then I heard that song and--” 

Peter waited for Wade to figure it out, and it took the big mercenary all of fifteen seconds. 

“Good Christ, Spidey, are you the song that’s been stuck in my head?” 

“I think so.” Peter tried not to smile, but it was hard not to when Wade pumped his fist in the air excitedly. “But Wade listen--” 

“I’m Spidey’s soulmate!” Wade whooped and grabbed him off the ground into a big hug. “I KNEW I’d get a chance to tap this booty! Spidey this is AMAZING!” 

“Wade!” Most of Peter wanted to hug Wade right back, but he had something more important to talk about first, so he used a quick burst of his spidey strength to push away. 

“What?” Wade made grabby hands at him. “Come on, what’s the problem? Come here and--” he stopped, frowned. “Oh, you don’t want me to be your soulmate? I could see that. Yeah, alright that’s fine, but we can still hang out right, because--” 

“Stop.” Peter fwipped a patch of webbing at Wade’s mouth. “Stop talking and listen to what I’m about to say very very closely.” 

Wade nodded, eyes narrowing when Peter stepped close and lifted the merc’s mask up and off his head so he could see him clearly.   

“Us being soulmates doesn’t mean you get to automatically tap this ass.” Peter said firmly and Wade made a wounded sort of noise. “Eventually, probably, because I wasn’t really opposed to it before now anyway. But that’s not the point.” 

He traced light fingers over the scars he had only seen once or twice before, careful not to press too hard because he knew they hurt Wade constantly, even if he never complained. 

“The point is--” he smiled and stood on his toes so their mouths were level, hooking a finger in the webbing and tearing it off easily. “The point it, Wade, whether you are my soulmate or not--” 

Wade wet his lips, leaned in to try and kiss him, but Peter shook his head. 

“Whether you are my soulmate or not, Wade? If you get that stupid song from Titanic stuck in my head one more time? I will throw you off a building, I swear to god.” 

“You’re so hot when you’re pretending to be violent.” Wade whispered. “I’ll sing something else. What’s your favorite song? Is it the spider man theme? Is it “Big Butts” oh god please say its “Big Butts” I will literally combust, I swear to--” 

“Wade.” Peter grinned. “I’m going to head back to my place to have a drink and try and figure out how I feel about this whole thing. Are you coming with me?” 

“Am I invited?” Wade asked hopefully, and when Peter only looked at him, Wade’s eyes flew open wide. “I MEAN YES! OH MY GOD I’M COMING WITH YOU. I’M COMING RIGHT NOW! I’M COMING RIGHT NOW!” 

“There it is.” Peter linked their fingers and started tugging Wade towards his place. “I knew you wanted to say that.” 

Wade followed behind him closely, squeezing at Peter’s hand excitedly, and humming under his breath, and Peter stopped in his tracks when The Wedding March filled his head. 

“Nope.” he shook his head. “Not the wedding march either. I don’t want that stuck in my head at all.” 

“How do you feel about ABBA?” 

“Ugh...” the web crawler sighed. “Alright, ABBA is fine.” 

“Honey honey, how you thrill me! Uh huh! Honey honey!” 

“This is fine.” Peter started laughing when Wade scooped him up into his arms and took off running. “Oh god, I’m going to be singing 80s songs for the rest of my life.” 

“You’re damn right about that, baby boy.” 

************************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIC!

*************************

[lachlantrash]

Q&A

"Oh my god, I can't believe we agreed to this." You laugh, sitting in an office chair, Lachlan in one to your left and Jerome to your right. There's a camera that's facing the three of you, ready to record a video for Jerome's channel.

"C'mon, you two have been together three years, everything I ask you guys will probably be things you've already talked about."Jerome says, trying to ease you.

"Plus, if we don't like where he takes it, then we can always walk out." Lachlan offers, taking your hand in his.

"I don't think it'll come to that. Anyways, are you two ready to record?" Jerome asks, waiting for you both to say 'yes' before he presses the button on his camera. "Hey guys, it's Jerome and today, I have the pack power couple, Lachlan and (Y/N) with me. Their three year anniversary today, and I convinced them to record a Q&A with me before they drive out to the hotel they're staying at for the night." He laughs, winking at the camera. "Before we begin, say hi." Jerome says, motioning for you and Lachlan to greet the video.

"Hey guys, before you think too deeply into why we're staying at a hotel, it's because our dinner reservations are far from Jerome and Mitch's place, so we didn't want to have to drive back late at night." You say, waving at the camera.

"And, because we're probably going to have sex and Jerome complained about hearing us when he stayed at our place, so we thought it'd be nice to cut him a break at his." Lachlan adds with a laugh.

"Oh my god, Lachlan! I can't believe you just said that." You say, holding back your own laugh and covering your mouth.

"That's staying in, I'll make this a second channel upload." Jerome says. "Are you two ready for the questions?" He adds.

"As ready as I'll ever be." You sigh, running your free hand through your hair.

"Alright, so Lachlan... When are you going to pop the question? It's been three years, she must have started to nag you on it." Jerome asks, making you smile as you look over at Lachlan.

"Yeah, I like this question. When are you going to pop the question?" You ask, playing with his hand you're still holding.

"Well um... Shit Jerome, way to put me on the spot." Lachlan laughs. "When it feels right, I guess. I know she's the one for me, so there's no point in waiting too many more years for it, but I also don't want to rush it. I can guarantee I'll ask her to marry me within the next two years." Lachlan says, eyes on the back of your hand as his thumb runs over it.

"So I have at least a year to get a date for it, noted..." Jerome says, pretending to write it down on his sheet of questions. "Alright, have you two ever had sex at my house?" He asks, making a blush rise to your face.

"Um, about that..." You trail off. "Maybe a few times, but nothing crazy." You add, moving hair out of your face.

"More than a few times, some of our wildest adventures took place here." Lachlan says, laughing when you mock punch him in the shoulder. "I'm kidding, we're pretty tame here." Lachlan says, taking it back.

"Either way, you guys are sick. I would never get it on at your place." Jerome sighs, scanning his question sheet. "Alright, well will (Y/N) ever get another cat?"

"No more cats, Lachlan said I've reached the maximum amount of cats he'll deal with." You fake sigh.

"Oh c'mon, you have four cats." Lachlan says, making you roll your eyes.

"Right, but I could have five." You say in a matter of fact tone.

"No fighting here, I don't want to ruin your anniversary. What's the hardest part of living together?" Jerome asks.

"I'd say for me, it's the fact that he leaves things around. He picks them up eventually, but at night he'll just throw the shirt he was wearing across the room and call it a night, it bothers me." You confess, looking up at Lachlan.

"For me it's the fact that she gives her pets so much attention. After working sometimes I just want to cuddle and go to bed but she's always doing something involving the cats or the ferrets or the fish." Lachlan says, making eye contact with you.

"Both of those things could be annoying, I see." Jerome says, pretending to take notes again. "So both of you, who is your favorite member of the pack? And before you ask (Y/N), you can't say Lachlan." Jerome says.

"I'll go first so you can think, babe." Lachlan laughs. "My favorite would probably be Preston. I'm sorry Jerome, I really am, but Preston and I vibe out really well whenever I see him in Texas, and he doesn't try to steal my girl from me when he's drunk like you've done before." Lachlan says, making you laugh as you remember the event. "Plus, him and (Y/N) really get along, even when they team up to bully me." Lachlan adds.

"My favorite besides this hunk of an Australian next to me would have to be Mitch, just because I've known him the longest. I was friends with him before I even began dating Lachlan, and he's the reason Lachlan and I got together in the first place." You say, shrugging afterwards.

"I'm actually so offended you two, I'm neither of your favorites!? Whatever, moving on... Obviously you two aren't even engaged yet, but any ideas on where to go for your honeymoon?" Jerome asks, making both you and Lachlan laugh.

"Well, we've had talks about it, but we have mixed feelings. I want to go somewhere warm, like the Bahamas or something. She wants to go somewhere cold." Lachlan says.

"Well if we go somewhere cold we can stay cuddled by a fire, and during the day we can snowboard and stuff, it's cute." You argue.

"If we go somewhere warm, I can see you in your bathing suit." Lachlan counters.

"If we go somewhere that's cold and has a hot tub, you can see me in my bathing suit and less." You wink at him, making him let out a little laugh.

"Alright, you've convinced me." He says jokingly, leaning in to plant a kiss on your lips. "Shit, I forgot about the camera." He says when he pulls away, noticing Jerome just staring at the two of you.

"I don't know what I just watched, but I'm going to move on... How many kids do you want to have? And let's say you had one boy and one girl, what do you guys want to name them?" Jerome reads from his paper.

"Well, I want three but he wants four. If I got to name one boy and one girl, I'd name a boy Bentley and the girl Allison." You say, looking to Lachlan. You two have never discussed names before.

"I like Bentley, but I always pictured having a little girl named Farrah." Lachlan says.

"I can deal with Farrah." You tell him, squeezing his hand.

"Good, that was an easy agreement. (Y/N), do you like the sidemen or the pack better?" Jerome asks.

"That ones easy, obviously the pack. I'm kind of dating a group member from there, so it'd be kind of unjust for me to say I like the sidemen better. Even though they're all ultra cool guys and I totally think Harry's cute, I'm going to have to say the pack because Lachlans just a smidge cuter." You say, laughing as Lachlan gives you a dirty look.

"Harry's not even close to being on my level." Lachlan huffs, jealousy clear in his tone.

"Oh c'mon babe, all I did was call him cute. Obviously I'm not interested in him when I have all of you to myself." You defend yourself, making Jerome gag.

"No lovey dovey talk please, I know this is a couple Q&A but save the love eyes and speeches for later. Let's move on, do you two like being the longest standing pack couple?" Jerome asks, scanning his sheet.

"I love it, all of the boys go to (Y/N) for relationship advice on how to treat their girlfriends if they have one. And then they'll go to me to see if I have any secret tips on how to keep a girl happy and interested. I feel respected when it comes to it. What about you, babe?" Lachlan asks, curiously looking at you.

"I love it too, especially because the fans call us mom and dad. I think it's funny, when I get tweets saying 'mom, tell dad to upload' or if I scroll through your YouTube comments on videos of us and people will be like 'mom and dad are so cute together'." You laugh. "At first I was wary about getting romantically involved without a youtuber, because fans can be brutal. But for the most part, yours have been nothing but nice to me." You add, looking at Lachlan appreciatively.

"I think that's because they knew who you were before we were dating. They've seen you in in Mitch's videos before I even knew who you were, and then you moved it to Australia and at first they didn't know we were dating, but we told them we were friends and they immediately wanted us to date. I think a lot of them are just satisfied that they were correct about us having a thing." Lachlan laughs, looking at you after he finishes speaking.

"Please don't forget I'm here, guys." Jerome chimes in, drawing both your attention and Lachlan's. "So, can I be the best man at the wedding, whenever it does happen?" Jerome asks, looking hopefully to Lachlan.

"Sorry mate, but I've already promised Mitch that if (Y/N) and I get married, he's the best man for introducing us." Lachlan says, making Jerome gasp.

"I'm actually offended, first I'm not the favorite and now I can't be the best man? Fine, what about the maid of honor?" Jerome asks teasingly. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But, can I at least be a groomsmen?" Jerome sighs out.

"I don't know, we'll see." Lachlan answers, making a laugh escape your lips.

"Wow, savage level answers here." You laugh. "If he tells you no Jerome, you can be a bridesmaid."

"Thanks (Y/N), all the years I've known Lachlan and he won't even let me be a groomsmen at his wedding. I can't believe this." Jerome sighs out.

"Oh I was only kidding, of course you can be a groomsmen." Lachlan says, making a smile appear on Jeromes face.

"I knew the pity party would work." Jerome cheers. "Well uh, that's all the questions I had... Are you guys excited for your date?" Jerome asks.

"Yeah, yeah we are." You laugh, the awkwardness clear in Jerome's voice.

"Well that's all then guys, I hope you enjoyed the inside information from the power couple themselves." Jerome says, finishing off his outro before turning the camera off. "Alright you two, you have permission to go on your date now." Jerome says.

"Oh why thanks, I didn't realize I needed permission to take my girlfriend of three years out to dinner." Lachlan laughs, letting go of your hand so he can stand.

"Yes, you still need permission to take her out. And have her home by ten!" Jerome says sternly, making you laugh as you stretch, standing after and hugging Lachlan.

"Are you ready to go?" You ask, taking your head off his chest to look him in his face.

"I'm always ready to go somewhere with you. Are you eager to get to the hotel?" He asks a smirk on his face making you roll your eyes.

"Actually I am, but I think we're excited for different reasons. I'm excited to get ready for our dinner date." You say, playing with the bottom of Lachlans t-shirt.

"I'm more excited for what's going to happen after dinner." Lachlan says, the smirk on his face lasting a second longer before he leans down and places a kiss on your lips.

"Alright you two, that's where I draw the line. Go, get on out of here." Jerome says, making you pull out of the kiss to laugh.

"Okay, lets go." You laugh, pulling out of the hug and instead grabbing hold of Lachlans hand.

"Whatever you say, babe." Lachlan says, making your heart flutter at the man you've fallen in love with.

[death-byathousand-cuts]

look what she made me do (more like look what i did for her)

recently there was a contest held in spain where the prize was getting to go to nyc to @taylorswift​‘s fan event next weekend and i, obviously, being the taylor swift fan that i am, entered the competition. it consisted of tweeting a picture accompanied by some text demonstrating “how much you love taylor” and i was like,,, okay i’m gonna go all the way with this, props and all. guess that wasn’t original enough. 

however, because i did put two whole days of crafting and painting and making tshirts and buying stuff, i’d like to try to get taylor to see this? which sounds crazy difficult bcs i don’t even know how tumblr works properly but hey!! worth a try. so here’s the translated text and pictures i took for the contest + some pics showing how i made all the props. 

the first song i ever heard by taylor was love story back in 2009 and although i didn’t want to admit it to myself at the time, i was immediately in love. i listened to it all the time. however it wasn’t until that summer that i really got into her music. it was thanks to my best friend at the time who made me watch the you belong with me music video and i was Amazed and spent the rest of the night listening to more of her songs and wondering to myself why i hadn’t looked her up sooner. this is why the first picture i chose to recreate was a scene from the you belong with me music video, because it’s still to this day very special to me since it’s the song that got me into listening to more of her music. 

(i know it looks like i’m 15 i’m actually 21 i Promise)

i remember that christmas my parents got me fearless and the self-titled album and i asked for the platinum album later because it had 5 extra new songs and i Needed to listen to them, obviously. later on, i got my hands on a fearless tour dvd but it was from the us and i could only play it on my laptop rip europe (still no regrets i love that dvd to Death i cry every time)

2010 came along and i was already Really Excited about it. summer 2010 brought mine along with it and i remember mtv became a public channel in spain then and they had a few months where they were just testing it or sth and they just played music videos on repeat and for a while mine was one of them and i got so excited every time i saw it bcs my baby was on tv!!! i knew that music video by heart. that is why i decided to recreate the mine music video, it reminds me of a great, happier and more wholesome time in my life and it has a very special place in my heart.

(i hate my face why am i doing this)

i remember when it was close to the speak now release date and i asked my dad to go to my closest city’s music shop to order my copy of the album (they were always late anyway). then on a friday my dad picked me up from high school and brought me to my city to pick up the album before lunch. i remember so vividly when i opened the album and i got so excited about reading the prologue and learning what speak now or forever hold your peace meant (i’m obviously not a native speaker of english but i’ve always been fascinated by language and i’m currently about to finish my english degree). that same afternoon i put it in the car and i fell in love with every song. to this day it’s still my favourite album. 

in 2011 she came to Madrid on tour so i asked my parents to Please take me even though i live in barcelona. they couldn’t come with me and i was still a minor so there was no way for me to see her. i still remember that march 19th, crying my eyes out because i couldn’t be there. i hated the fact i couldn’t be there even more when i got the tour dvd and it became my favourite concert without having been there. 

It was 2012 when she made a liveshow announcing the next album being called Red and the release date and she played some songs for us and it was So Nice. i have to confess I was a bit scared bcs the sound was a bit different from speak now, especially wanegbt and ikywt but no!!! my girl doesn’t disappoint and the album was a masterpiece and i loved it. as always i ordered it in my city’s music store and luckily for me i was studying in the same city this time so during our twenty minute recess a friend and i went to the store every day for a week to check if they already had the album (talk about doing exercise). i was so hyped when i finally got it!!! i couldn’t choose just one favourite moment from this era so i just recreated a promotional picture for RED.

she did another tour with RED which didn’t include spain so seeing her was again not an option since i was still a minor and my parents didn’t want to travel so far for a concert. i was so sad and i promised myself next time i’d do whatever it took to see her live. the good thing about this tour was me discovering ed sheeran who is now my favourite male artist (thanks taylor ily)

in 2014 i started my first year of university, i chose to study english studies because i was good at english in school (that’s probably thanks to taylor in a way, i learned a lot from her songs). i moved close to barcelona for uni and started living with other students near campus. that Big Change in my life was accompanied with 1989 coming out and this was the first time i could actually have the album the same day it came out!!! i made my roommate come with me to barcelona to get it and she didn’t really get why it was so important to get the album the same day it came out but she still didn’t judge me and i’m so thankful for that. (thanks bea ily)

after the album came out she did her taylurking and even though i hate taking pictures of me especially if you can see my face, (which is why this whole thing is a Big Deal for me, putting pictures of myself out there is not easy), i tried to take pictures with the album and the pictures that came along with it and see if i was lucky enough to get her to see my face. fortunately, i got pictures 1-13 and i decided to take a picture with the 13th polaroid as a wink to her bcs it’s her favourite number. it was around 7pm when i gave up and soon i got a notification of her liking my picture on Instagram and I was like,,, screaming and crying already bcs What The Fuck did taylor alison swift see my face and still like the picture??? I was Dead. then she tweeted it and i just lost it. that meant a Lot to me. that’s why for 1989 i’ve recreated the 13th polaroid included in the album.

taylor has been with me throughout my teens, during high school and all of university and i’m still here. i got so many memories of her throughout the years: listening to fifteen every year when the school year starts. doing a power point presentation on her even though it was supposed to be about my hobbies bcs listening to her music was practically the only thing i did lmao. listening to enchanted every time i meet an internet friend (some of whom i’ve met because of taylor, others have started listening to her after me insisting to give her a chance for Ages). listening to tied together with a smile when i feel down. reading twilight while listening to our song and the fallen series while listening to haunted. i remember listening to mary’s song (oh my my) for the first time and thinking it was the Purest, Most Beautiful song in the world. dance and sing in the shower with fearless and you belong with me. screaming the lyrics to the other side of the door and tell me why and should’ve said no. listening to breathe every time i have a fall out with someone. tweeting the last kiss lyrics every july 9th at 1:58. drawing a 13 on my hand constantly. listening to ours and falling in love with it, starting to listen to it in the mornings to start the day in a good mood. doing a heart with my hands whenever i go to concerts because that’s what i saw you do on tours (on dvds, sadly). i could go on and on.

i’m still here supporting, forever and always, and Ready for the new album and the new era that’s starting now. since we don’t have much material from this era yet, i’ve decided to recreate the gravestone in the look what you made me do music video and i put some snakes around it (a new symbol for this era) and the albums and dvds i own to symbolize the death of the old taylors as seen in the video.

it took me So Much Effort and Time to recreate all the pictures (buy the things i needed, make the ybwm tshirt myself with markers, make and paint the snakes, make the polaroid, the gravestone, and find places that more or less resembled the places where the original pictures were taken). i know i’m not a model and it’s not an exact recreation bcs there wasn’t much time to enter the contest but i hope all the details are appreciated and taken into account.

here are some pictures of me making the ybwm

here are some pictures of me making the tshirt taylor wears in the polaroid 13 (i didn’t have it so my sister drew me some birds and i put them on a tshirt I had and i wore a long sleeved white sweater underneath) and the making of the polaroid

here are some pictures of the snakes and the gravestone

after all this effort and time i still couldn’t get to win the contest and meet you in nyc next weekend @taylorswift but i hope you’ll see this and know how much i love you bcs i’m telling you i wouldn’t craft that much for anyone else lmao i usually suck at this. i truly tried my best this time and i’m devastated that even though i tried so hard my hard work didn’t pay off but i hope you come on tour to europe and i get to see you this time around, i’m already saving for the rep tour.

love love love

monica 

(@taylorsplatt13 and @hopefulhowell on twitter)

@taylornation @tree-paine pls help me? 

[daydreamer2202]

Meet the JSE Community: Daydreamer2202

I saw some people do this and decided to hop on! I think it’s a lovely way to meet everyone behind the screens so lets go!

1. Name, age, country? Hanna, 17, Sweden

2. Appearance?

3. Hobbies? Riding, playing overwatch, reading, drawing and eating.

4. What is your dream job? Something to do with psychology or horses because for one, I love knowing why people act a certain way and two, horses are awesome and I love training them?

5. What kind of shit would we find in your bag? A set of headphones, an umbrella, a good book, water and a charger. Nothing unusual woops.

6. How would you describe your personality? Bubbly and fun but yet introverted and deep. I’m a genuine person who loves to make others happy. Definitively think way too much. Sean has actually influenced my personality a lot, for the better! 

 7. When did you find Sean’s channel?

I found it this summer actually! I was watching Mark and he popped up in my “suggested videos” so I decided that, after seeing him there for about a year, I would go and check him out. Better late than never y’all!

8. Put in your top 3 favourite egos? Antisepticeye, I’m so in love with his crazy persona and his laughter gives me the chills man. Anyway, next comes The dapper dude and Schneep.

9. Favourite or most nostalgic video/series of Sean’s to watch? Night in the woods for sure, that series never gets boring to watch. I love every part of it and I’ve played it through a couple of times in my spare time as well.

10. Would you describe yourself as an active or a quiet member of this community? In the beginning I was definitely a quiet member but now later on I’m much more active. I even met the most sick new friend while theorizing over Anti *cough* @pundaexpress *cough*  Sean has definitely brought back my creative side and drawing is yet again a part of my daily life because of him and this community! Theorizing is just as fun, you get to talk to a lot of new people which is awesome.

Side note I went to RP3 in Sweden alone and I literally haven’t felt more like home before, at first I was so anxious because of my social anxiety and PTSD but when the show started I slowly felt more and more comfortable around everyone else. A huge thanks to everyone in the community for welcoming me, both online and irl, I have never been part of something so mindblowing before.

One last thing before I go, thank you so so much Sean for answering my post about RP3, I always get this boost of happiness whenever I read your reply and thank you to you Glory for freaking out with me, I’m so happy to have you as my friend and I’ll try my damn best to fly out to ya one day ❤️

[shopyellowdays-blog]

Got exam stress?

I guess you’ve all been going to school for a while now, and as we’re straying further from the summer, the exams will start to come near. Exams are usually a major cause of stress under students, and stress is never good. So here are some tips on how to survive it.

1. Don’t. Freaking. Procrastinate.

I know this tip is probably gonna be disregarded anyway, but for those of you who are still open to hearing about this: don’t do everything the last day. Unless you know that you can handle it. But if you have an exam about, let’s say physics, and you know you absolutely suck at physics, then don’t start so late. Just give yourself extra time to memorise it all.

2. Don’t do too much.

Now this may sound a little weird, but what I mean to say with this is that you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s better to spread it out and take breaks than to cram studying 4 subjects into two days. If you study every subject for like 30 - 60 minutes a day, you’ll still have time to relax. Maybe study the subjects that come easy to you a little less, and the ones you find more difficult a little more. Or study a subject every other day, whatever you like best.

3. Learn how you study.

I remember my old English teacher telling me about the different ways people study. Personally, I study using visual material. Some people study with audio, others with reading, and some people need to write everything down. If you’re like me and you’re quite visual, go to youtube to look up videos about the things you need to learn. The crashcourse channel, for example, helped me ace my biology exam by explaining everything very clearly with the use of animation.

If you’re more of an audio person, make yourself a podcast. Record yourself explaining the subjects and listen to it on your way to school. Or find audiobooks for your textbooks.

If you like to learn by reading, read not only your textbooks, but also extra articles related to the subjects. I found that doing research about subjects really make it easier to understand.

And lastly, if you prefer to write everything down, make summaries. Studies have shown that you memorise something better if you write it down. If you’re studying a language, try to write a short story or a poem with the words you need to remember (make it a mix between your native language and target language, if you’re a beginner).

4. Make it a game.

I’ve had several teachers tell me to make studying fun for myself. Make it a game. If you need to learn terms or words and their meanings, make a memory game. Make small pieces of paper with on one the word, and on the other the meaning. Do this to all the words you need to learn and then play memory, matching the words with the meaning.

Do a “draw the historical event (or something else, for example a chemical formula) within 30 seconds” game with your friends. You have to draw something you need to memorise, and your friend has to guess what it is. By drawing it you will memorise it better.

Need to learn names of people? Create a game of “who is it?” or “who am I?”

Be creative! Studying isn’t always boring. You gotta make it fun for yourself.

5. Study together

I’ve found that when I go to the library with some friends to study or work on an assignment, I’m like 126% more productive than when I sit at home studying or working on my own. Besides, when you’re with others, you can ask each other questions and learn from each other.

6. Relax.

Lastly, I want to stress (haha, see what I did there?) that you should take time to relax. Often I would have 2 weeks of exams, with lots of free days in between. Whenever I felt overwhelmed and stressed, I would take one of those free days to do something fun. I would take the train to another city and go shopping. Just taking a day off from studying can really help sometimes.

Also, set boundaries for yourself as to how long you’re gonna study. My concentration always cuts out around 5pm, so I decided that I would get up a little earlier so I could stop studying at 5pm. After that I would just do something fun.

I hope these tips will help in some way, and feel free to share them!

[you-got-a-crush]

Pick Pocket

✨I’M BACK! Hi guys summer is here and I am so happy to finally have some free time on my hands to write more, and I’m so excited! Keep sending requests and asks because I’m here to answer whatever you throw at me, and since I’ve been gaining even MORE followers ((wow wth 500?? I’m still in awe from just the first 10)) I’ve been thinking about doing a face reveal? Tell me if you think that’s a good idea or not cuz I love hearing all of your feedback! Without further ado, here’s the first imagine of the summer!✨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late, and darker than what you had originally planned. Even so, you tried to shake off the uneasy pit growing in your stomach and continued to walk as confidently as you could out of your school and back to your house. Originally, the study session was only supposed to last a few hours after school, which yeah I guess it did only last until 6:30, but the winter sky made the sun creep towards the horizon faster than when these study sessions first started. Nonetheless you hitched your backpack further up your shoulder and decided that it’d be better to spend as little time outside as possible from the growing chill in the air. Of course you remembered all of the books and movies and stories on TV about bad things coming from taking the short way and going through the rough part of town or the busy city alleyways, but this area wasn’t that bad, and those sorts of things don’t happen to people like you, who has always had about average grades, average experiences, average looks, average life basically. You’ve taken this route before, many times actually, so this should be easy-peasy, and faster than usual so you’d be able to get home just in time to call Y/F/N to ask about whether she got any further with the guy she’s been seeing lately. Walking a bit faster down the busy streets back to your house and farther from the safety of school you were met with the flow of traffic and people making their way home from a day of work, most seeming friendly enough. But just making sure that nobody were to give you a weird look and kidnap you, you decided that keeping your head down was the best option, at least for now. Occasionally you’d look up to check signs and lights to see whether you were going the right way but other than that the bright lights and faces of the people went by in a blur, almost so fast that you didn’t notice the person coming towards you looking behind their shoulder, and ramming themselves into you. Hard. You stop almost in your tracks nearly falling over, brushing your hair that flew into your face, and look up only to come face to face with Y/C/N, “Hey, watch it… oh sorry Y/C/N, I didn’t-” He quickly weaved his hand into yours, cutting you off, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you Y/N! Where have you been?” You tried to hide the slight blush that crept across your face and ears and fumbled around with an answer. Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion at this sudden warmth from the person who’s never uttered a word to you except to ask for a mere pencil on time in middle school. You never really talked to him because he was known to get into trouble, which I guess could be sorta hot at times, but you’ve heard your fair share of stories about him getting expelled and yelled at by teachers to know to keep your distance, no matter how popular he was. He must have sensed your confusion as he led you in the other direction, leaning down closer to your ear he lowly muttered, “Follow me, and don’t ask any questions - there’s no time.” His breath grazed your face and sent shivers down your spine in the already chilly air, “I-I’m so confused wha-.” "Were you even listening to what I said? God out of all people…” He trailed off, running his free hand through his hair and checking behind the both of you anxiously. While questions and emotions were running through your head faster than Usain Bolt, he suddenly caught you off guard by randomly shoving you both into an empty alleyway. He pushed you down behind a dumpster and sat down next to you abruptly. In the darkness could only barely make out his silhouette, but it was hard to imagine this boy who usually had a cheesy smile stretched to his ears laughing and back talking to teachers be here, sitting next to you with lines creasing his forehead and hunched shoulders looking nervous and tense. "There’s no time to explain the whole situation, but long story short, I may have done a bad job at pickpocketing, which surprisingly, pisses some people off when they find your hand down their pants searching for their wallet,” he laughed dryly, looking around the dumpster to the street, “Yeah I guess pops didn’t do a very good job of teaching me how to get out of this sort of situation, so I guess we’ll just have to figure this out for ourselves,” Anger flashed across your face, “Wait, wait, wait, hold on for one second, what’s this ‘we’ stuff? What do you need me for?” He glanced quickly at you, only to return to scan the alleyway, “Cover? Accomplice? I dunno, maybe if they saw me with someone else they would be less likely to suspect me? At this point I have no idea.” "This sounds like a you problem,” C/N turned slightly more toward you, still scouring the entrance of the alleyway, “Well now it’s both our problems, so just chill and let me think.” You paused, considering the pros and cons of asking, but asked anyway, "What I don’t understand is your need to pickpocket innocent people,” you said with more confidence, making him stare you straight in the eyes for the first time since he grabbed your hand, “No wonder that guy is mad as hell, I’d be too if something like that happened to me!” He smirked slightly but you felt a change of tone in his voice, somehow turning even colder than before, “Who are you, my mom?” "But it’s wrong! And illegal! And dangerous!” "I can do whatever I want okay, the sooner you shut up the sooner we can get out of… this whole thing.” You thought back to when you once were talking with your friends about him and you had imagined what it’d be like talking to C/N outside of school, with just the two of you together. Usually it involved him laughing at all of your jokes and you using your amazing flirting skills to win over his heart, but definitely not whatever this was. Not at all like this actually. A couple of minutes passed, each passing minute feeling like an hour, especially with the newfound thought of hour close the two of you were together. Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice, or care even. Whenever you managed to steal a glance at C/N’s frame, your eyes having adjusted to the darkness, you could feel the wheels turning in his mind. You, of course, with never dealing with anything like this, pulling a blank at what to do. Half of you even thought to just stand up and walk out. Suddenly C/N’s harsh voice snapped your mind back to the situation at hand, “Okay I think have a plan, might not be 100% perfect, but we can improvise along the way.” Before you could even open your mouth to ask what it was, he dove right in before you, “Alrightie so, fun fact, I actually knew that guy, small world right?” He scratched the back of his head nervously and ran his hand through his messy hair, “Anyways, I don’t really have that great of a past with him, since the last time I was running away from him it was because I may or may not have stole from this store that he owns-” "This is pretty bad then,” you stated, cutting him off. "Um yeah no shit Sherlock,” he rolled his eyes but continued to talk as if you never interrupted him, “Well, I know this part of town pretty well so if we lay under the radar by cutting through the alleyways we can get back to my house without leaving an obvious trail and manage to stay out of the way of old man Jenkins back there,” He must have noticed your slightly worried face and quickly added, “Don’t worry I’ll try to get you back to your house, I just need you to be my cover.” "Well my house is back that way,” you began, pointing back by where C/N ran into you, “and how do you know I’ll even trust you?” "One, who wouldn’t trust this lovely face?” He answered, motioning towards his cheeky grin, “And two, you don’t understand my levels of talent, so prepare to be amazed.” He took one last glance to the entrance and quickly stood up, motioning you to follow suit, “Oh and by the way, could you tell me your address?” You reluctantly told him where you lived, and with a quick nod he started to lead you in and out of random alleyways and streets that must have used to be thriving, but now we’re almost deserted. You’d never been on this side of town before so you kept your guard up, darting your eyes over every object and jumping at every noise. Suddenly you heard a sharp noise, like a can being crushed underfoot, "Hey, um, sorry to deter you C/N,” you sheepishly said, tapping on his surprisingly but not not so surprisingly hard back, “but I have this crazy feeling that we’re being followed,” He scoffed and barely took notice, keeping his fast pace as if you hadn’t spoken. You decided to try again after you heard more noises coming from behind, drawing closer, "Hey, me again, I really really feel like someone following us and I think you should probably take some notice to it,” Again, nothing, just a short grunt and a change in direction into a different alleyway. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end, and you felt more afraid than you ever had in your life. You decided to channel that fear into ticked off-ness, “Fine if you don’t care, then don’t care, but if we die it’s your fault,” He huffed loudly in exasperation and turned around, still walking backwards, “As a matter of fact…” He suddenly stopped and you rammed into him for the second time this night, before you could react and yell some more at him, C/N threw you behind him. When you regained your balance and looked up you saw a burly man that looked like he came straight out of a gang. His broad shoulders flexed as he grinned madly and cracked his knuckles. As the shadowy man got closer you whispered to C/N, panic evident in your strained voice, “This is bad,” "You said that already.” He whispered back, not taking his calculating eyes off of the approaching threat. "I thought it was worth repeating.” "Look who we have here?” He spoke as if his words were coated in a thick layer of sickly sweet honey, “Robin Hood and Maid Marian, how sweet.” His voice suddenly laced with a thick layer of ice and you saw his beady eyes glint, “you’ll pay for what you did, I don’t let little shits like you run free, I can’t let you running around stealing more stuff from me, or anyone else,” C/N’s voice quickly piped up, “Robin Hood, never been called that one before, what’s next? Aladdin?” “Don’t be a smart ass boy,” there was a quick flash of silver as his fingers curled over the handle of the knife, “I won’t hesitate to give kids like you a lesson.” "Whatever you do just don’t hurt her,” C/N’s voice came out hard and commanding, you felt his hand grasp yours tight as he pushed you even further behind him, “I stole from you, not her,” "I guess that’ll be my decision to make,” It all happened in slow motion. You watched as the guy who followed the both of you lunge forward with the small knife in hand, C/N pushed you hard and as far away from the guy as he could, making you stumble to the ground with the air taken from your lungs. When you looked up gasping for breath you saw the guy on top of C/N, struggling to wrestle the knife out of C/N’s hand while also inching it closer to C/N’s exposed neck. You with whatever voice you had left you yelled to C/N, and silently urged him to beat the older and much heavier man. "Y/N!” You heard him grunt from where he was on the ground struggling, "Run! Get away!” There was no way you could just leave him, even if it meant not getting badly hurt by this guy, who could definitely take you down if he wanted to. You made a split second decision, and suddenly remembering the backpack still strapped to your back, and the heavy books inside, you shakily stood up. Adrenaline surged through your body, giving you a kick of strength and energy. With the burly man’s back to you, you leapt closer to him swinging your backpack at his balding head. The man looked You grimaced as you heard contact to his skull. The blow was harder than you expected. The man fell backwards and there was a sickening sound from when his back and head fell backwards onto the hard and dirty concrete. The knife clattered to the ground. You did it. Before you could react, your knees buckled under you and the ground suddenly started to sway. You just knocked a man out cold with your freaking backpack. You would’ve laughed if this were a movie, but now all you could feel was numb. Then his eyes met yours, and you felt a feeling of calm rush over you, and with unspoken grace C/N slowly rose and helped you back up. Slowly, with no words spoken, the both of you hobbled the way to your house, thankfully only a short distance away. The tension in the air was thick, and the shock still was settling into your skin. At a snail’s pace C/N led you back to your house. There was only one light left on inside the house, and the only sound was the soft padding of both your feet on your driveway. At the front steps you both stopped, not really knowing what to say. He looked down at his shoes and shoved his hands into his jean pockets, “Hey Y/N, I just want to say, thanks… for what you did back there. I’d have to admit it was… pretty cool,” You didn’t know what to say, so you gave a dry laugh, “Yeah anytime…” There was another long pause, “I feel bad for leaving him just lying there unconscious, we didn’t even check if he was breathing.” He met your gaze, locking his now soft eyes onto yours, “I don’t think he died, I’ve had my fair share of fights, and I know what what, don’t worry,” he surprised you by pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, caressing your face lightly, “now you’re safe and home so you don’t have to worry about me anymore,” "Don’t say that, you say that you’re used to this sort of stuff, but you shouldn’t be,” your mouth moved before your brain could comprehend what you were doing, “You were really brave back there, and I promise I won’t gloat about being right about being followed.” A small smile crept over both of your faces. Another pause as you suddenly remembered that you had told your parents that you’d be home almost immediately from school. You snatched your phone from your backpack to see what looked like millions of missed calls and texts, causing you to grimace. You snapped back to his face when you heard him give a short cough, "By the way, I’m really sorry…” he took a deep breath, moving his hand to your hand, “for everything, the fight, me snapping at you, just… everything.” Again, you felt at a loss for words. You couldn’t just say no it’s alright because in reality it really wasn’t, you couldn’t get the image of the man’s limp body and it smacking hard against the trash ridden ground. Instead you gave him another small smile, hoping that your eyes showed what you were thinking. He inched forward, his other hand grabbing onto your arm, pulling you gently closer. All of the emotions from the night came washing over you, the fear, the nervousness, the anger, the confusion, and now, the sudden urge to seal it all. The sudden feeling that this was fate. You realized that this was the guy that chose you out of all people in the crowd, that yelled at you to run away from the threat of death, the guy that had the perfect answer for every comment. You thought of all of the random times you felt someone in class watching you, only to turn around and see him laughing with his friends. Or the times that you’ve made awkward eye contact in the halls. Or the times where he’ll look like he’s walking towards you, but suddenly backtrack. All those times you just thought that it was him making fun of you, or being mean, or… Now it all made sense. His shining eyes twinkled in the moonlight and echoed your emotions, how did you not know? “How long?” He chuckled and barely spoke above a whisper, “A pretty long time, to be honest,” Your noses were not merely centimeter from each other, “Why not ask?” "You wouldn’t want a rough guy like me, bad grades, bad friends, stealing, barely scraping by…” His eyes went downcast as he trailed off, the twinkle in his eye now gone. Slightly frustrated, you grabbed his shirt collar and broke the distance, your lips locked onto his soft ones. He smelt like cologne and mint and his hair felt so messy and surprisingly soft and his lips were slightly chapped but you didn’t care. You broke the kiss abruptly, noticing the dazed look in his eyes, making him look more like a young boy than the brash and harsh guy that no one ever messed with. “You really shouldn’t make assumptions,” "Oh believe me, now I definitely, won’t,”

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

Can it just be Friday?

For the most part my last weekend in London was fun. Penny and I went and hung out with the boys in Greenwich on Friday night. We originally wanted them to come out to Kings Cross but George is pretty much skint and apparently spent today working. Yes, this is a development.  So, anyways, George will be broke until he gets his first paycheck. We decided to venture down to Lewisham. He wasn’t getting away with not saying good-bye. Penny and I managed to get to the house all on our own and then had to convince George to let us in. He was legitimately talking to us through the mail slot. Other George was apparently watching this but had no idea what was going on. He was so confused. Eventually we gained access to the house and Other George greeted us with hugs and kisses on the cheek.

We then spent a good ten minutes digging through their take-out menu drawer trying to find somewhere that would deliver us pizza. We pestered our George for awhile about what he wanted on his pizza and then got into the millionth conversation of the year about our accents. Other George spent a few minutes telling me that Chicago is pronounced “Chic-caahgo” instead of “Chicaago” (the way I pronounce it) before George jumped in and said Chicago with the hardest -a sound possible and I laughed and stopped arguing. Other George lectured us on the existence of the “imaginary r” in the English language. That’s why the English say “parth” instead of “path”. Apparently. We rolled out eyes and the Georges left to go buy drinks.

Karim, Esam’s brother, was in the shower when we got there and looked very confused when he came downstairs because he didn’t know we were coming over. He still greeted us in typical fashion with hugs, kisses, and pleasantries. Before he’d come downstairs and he’d just gotten out of the shower the hallway was flooded with the smell of clean boy. Attractive, clean boy. Mmm. Penny and I were standing at the bottom of the stairs sniffing and sighing. I was waiting for the Georges to come home right at that moment. Luckily, they waited until we were sitting in the living room willing the channel on the tv to change. Karim sat in one of the armchairs and I claimed the other. Penny and Other George took the couch and George sat on the beanbag at Penny’s feet.

We watched about an hour of Spiderman 3 before someone suggested changing the channel and we all went “Oh please god yes!”. Watching it had been funny if only because of the number of times Penny and I groaned whenever Mary Jane emotional. Karim and I also shared our extensive knowledge of comic book movies (I was so glad there was another geek present). When Spidey goes emo George made a comment about his “fringe” and Penny and I just about died. When the jazz club that Mary Jane works at first came on screen George cheered and I tried not to melt into a pile of goo. During the break up scene we were talking about boys crying and Other George admitted to being a crier. He’s more sensitive then he looks, he said. This is hard to believe because he looks like a teddy bear. An attractive teddy bear, but a teddy bear nonetheless. Our new goal is to get him to cry.

Penny and I went into Other George’s room to dig through his dvd shelf. Not a bad collection but the best part about this is just the room itself. We’d never been in it and the boys were all downstairs. There’s a huge Buddha statue on his mantle and candles on his shelf. There’s an incense holder, a single bed, the only full length mirror in the house, and a hilarious amount of beauty products visible inside the wardrobe. We came downstairs after snooping holding Dodgeball ready to fully embrace our roles as British men. Seriously, we are so not girls. We watched the movie while eating pizza and Penny and the boys drank beer. Karim set to work rolling joints for him and George. At one point he stopped to complain about a long hair he found in the grinder, “No one in the house has hair this long!” Penny and I tried not to laugh or make eye contact. It was one hundred percent one of ours. I’d forgotten about this but the first time we’d gone home with George, Esam had been hesitant about smoking in front of us. Most of the girls he knew disapproved of weed so he felt weird smoking with girls. Penny and I had laughed. Thus, the only girls that had been around that grinder recently were us. Whoops.

I wasn’t drinking but I desperately wanted to ask George for a drag. I didn’t though partially because I kind of hate that I felt like I wanted it that badly and partially because I didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t offer and I do know how expensive it is here. It was mostly tobacco anyways. I’m probably better off not killing my lungs this week. We were watching the movie and at one point Other George and Penny were cuddling. It was just more comfortable for them both the sit that way but it looked adorable. I was crazy jealous because Other George would be who I’d pick to cuddle with out of almost anyone. Other George at one point fell asleep and that was pretty hilarious. And then he shifted and woke himself up a bit but didn’t open his eyes. He literally was laughing at the movie with his eyes closed. That was awesome. Penny and I kept looking at each other and cracking up (or trying not to in some cases). George was a bit quiet but we found out later why (besides the obvious that not everyone talks through movies).

Other George went to bed and George disappeared into his room. I stuck my head in and found him clicking refresh on a some random football website. We ended up bugging him and spent like three hours watching stupid YouTube videos. There are moments when I think about my life like the English major I should be. I notice irony and pick out symbolism and enjoy drawing parallels and identifying foils. I think about my life in terms of plot diagrams and analyse things like most people struggle to analyse literature. I’ve always been very, very good at English. When I was 12, I attended a camp for gifted students at Northwestern. My class was literary analysis. It was three weeks long and condensed a semester of a high school class into this time period. I swear this is entirely responsible for shaping how I think. Anyways, Friday night was one of those moments. The second time we hung out with George and Jules it ended up being the four of us in Penny’s room until 6 AM watching stupid YouTube videos after forcing the boys to finish off the gin and vodka in the room (there was like four shots total between the two bottle. We didn’t know how much of a pussy George was about shots at this point). It was a nice parallel considering that we’ve known him for a year as of this weekend. And no, that isn’t creepy that I know that. It was my sister’s birthday. George is actually on the voicemail I left her last year (as is a bunch of random Swedes but that’s a different story).

It was nice to see George loosen up. Turns out he’s been annoyed with Other George lately which is why he wasn’t being super talkative while he was around. It also explains his annoyed face when Penny was cuddling with Other George. When he was talking about it he did a hilariously accurate impression of Other George. I never actually noticed how different their accents were (or at least I’d never thought about it) until then. We talked for awhile and Jesus do I love when we actually get to hang out with George, not the cool guy he likes to pretend he is or the asshole he becomes when drunk. He laughed his ass off at some of the videos (there was one that had him almost on the floor). At risk of sounding ridiculous, I love his laugh. His whole face lights up. It’s adorable.

We were screwing around on his computer and somehow got onto the discussion of people’s old MySpaces. This led to the not-so-fun discovery of my MySpace which includes a mortifying blog entry I wrote when I was 14. I had to leave the room while they read it. I tried to get control of the computer and Penny literally held me back while George clicked on the link and started to read out loud. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed, I could have actually died. George and Penny, on the other hand, were dying of laughter. It was this like free-verse psuedo-intellctual poem thing. Oh god, it’s bad. George, after he’d stopped laughing long enough to speak, said that it would actually be good if he didn’t know the context. However, as it was a 14 year old girl’s emo MySpace blog entry there was no way it could be taken seriously. It could have been worse. At least they laughed and didn’t just decide to never speak to me again.

We sat around in George’s room for awhile and then decided we should probably take off. We were cabbing it home as it was late. George offered us his bed again. Well, he said “You can stay but you’ll have to sleep on the sofa. Just kidding, you can sleep in my bed considering you hijacked it last time.” We protested that Esam had offered his bed and he looked so shocked. It was hilarious. We said thank you but we did really have to be up kind of early. He kept emphasizing that he wasn’t kicking us out. He was totally ok with us spending the night. The more he said it the more I wanted to turn to Penny and just say fuck it. It was really sweet of him to keep offering. Our cab got there eventually and we said good-bye. George finally opened the Christmas card we got the boys. It was actually a hilarious card. On the outside it said “Sorry I got so drunk at your party (next week)”. On the inside, it was addressed to “Dear Boys” and signed “<3 the Girls”. George laughed at it and put it on the mantle in the living room. We hugged Karim good-bye and he kissed us on the cheek and wished us a merry Christmas. We told him to have a good break and then moved to hug George. His hugs did not last nearly long enough. We’re not going to see him for a month (well, three weeks-ish). Penny and I were both a tad disappointed but he did tell me he wanted to Skype while I was in the States so that’ll be fun.

All in all, it was a really good night. Out faces literally hurt from laughing so much. We giggled for like six hours straight I swear. We also got the bonding time with George we wanted to badly. None of us were drunk and George wasn’t flying by any means. It was nice to just chill and talk and really solidify the friendship we’re not always convinced exists. He’s so much more relaxed and himself when he’s home. It’s amusing to watch how he interacts with the boys too. Things like right before we left Karim was in the kitchen doing something and George stuck his head in the hallway and asked what he was cooking. Karim said something and George goes, “Wanna make that a meal for two?” So adorable. He then said that he could contribute digestives to the meal. He was nibbling on a cookie, lookin’ adorable. Karim eventually brought him a plate with two pieces of toast on it. One piece had beans on it, the other had scrambled eggs. Karim held a plate set up the same way for himself. Penny and I were resisting the urge to profess our love for the two of them. It was completely the way one of their parents used to make food. You could just tell that they’ve been friends forever.

I also just love being around to observe that house. I swear to god I should just major in sociology. The kitchen is a disaster area. Seriously, no clean dishes at all. The floor is literally covered in random spills and I’ve never wanted to wipe down a counter more in my life. The best part about all of this is the post-it note stuck to the fridge that says “I cleaned the kitchen. You mess it up and I’ll mess you up!”. The number of boys that live in the house has been clarified as five. It’s George, Esam, Karim, Other George, and Leon. Hilarious thing? There are only four bedrooms. Esam has his own room (or is sharing his bed with Karim which would be funnier) and so do the Georges. The only room we haven’t been in is Leon’s which in our heads now contains bunk beds that he shares with Karim. No idea how the living arrangements were decided. Esam appears to be the only one with a double bed and definitely has the biggest room. George is the only one not in school but has his own room. Karim is Esam’s older brother but appears to be sharing with someone. It’s a mystery. Another mystery is what they’re all doing for break. George isn’t going home and neither is Karim but Esam and Leon are. Other George will head home to Chestnut (wherever the hell that is). How did Karim and Esam decide who get’s to go home? I know George and Karim are excited to be in London for NYE but that also means Christmas alone. Before I knew Karim was staying I was ready to miss my flight home so that George wouldn’t be alone for Christmas (that would have led to all sorts of good decisions, I’m sure).

We got home pretty late and tried not to say anything that could be in anyway funny because our faces literally hurt from smiling and laughing too much. This is much harder then you’d imagine. We went to bed and got up the next day and rushed to the Tower to go ice skating. It ended up just being Penny and I who went. It was fun though. I really enjoy ice skating and there is no better place that the Tower of London to go. It was incredibly pretty and wintery. We then went back to the flat and Penny went Christmas shopping while I cleaned up our mess from brunch and tried to nap. We ended up watching four episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl once she got back. We then went to dinner and got ready to go out. Shahida was out with her brother so it was just the two of us again.  Coco came over and hung out with us while we got ready. It was nice to see her.

We decided to skip the End of Term party and just go to the Big Chill. We went and it was alright. We decided to check out what was going on at the Social Club. There was supposed to be some Indie concert going on. Yeah, we walked in and something became very clear. “Indie concert” was apparently code for “lesbian night”. Yeah. We were literally surrounded by lesbians and some very confused guys who apparently didn’t get the memo either. It was kind of hilarious. We ended up talking to these guys Toby and Kev who ended up buying us drinks so we wouldn’t leave them with the lesbians. We did anyways and went back to Big Chill. The music had taken a turn for the worse somewhere along the way. I was quickly sobering up and far too drunk to keep drinking. My feet were killing me and Penny was drunk. In short, I was not having a good time. I didn’t want to leave though because Penny had started talking to this guy. I wasn’t sure why I was in such a bad place to be out but I didn’t want to ruin her last Saturday because I can’t keep my emotions in check. Eventually we were sitting on the couches upstairs and Penny started making out with this guy. I opened Facebook on my phone. I am so cool.

I was already pretty miserable at this point and then someone from home’s status was “BLIZZARD WARNING!”. I almost burst into tears. That was the worst time to find out that anything might prevent me from getting home on Friday. The music was still bad and I ended up getting hit on by the old French guy when I went to sit downstairs because I got sick of watching Penny make out with this random. I took that as my cue to get Penny and go home. My feet hurt and I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. We got home and Penny was washing her face when she goes, “Oh no.” I asked her what was wrong and she said she’d show me in a second. I immedietly knew what was wrong and started cracking up. She managed to get her first hickey in a year and a half from a 24 year old random who break dances, has a US passport, and lays bricks for a living. So unbelievably funny.

The next morning, Coco came over and we exchanged Christmas presents. Penny got me this really pretty gold necklace with a stag on it and a keychain from Harry Potter world. Shahida got me this incredibly pretty leather bound notebook from this boutique in Kensington. They both seemed to like what I got them and Coco was really excited about the cupcake shaped piggy bank I’d gotten her. Coco, Penny, and I then went and got brunch and Penny sent me home to go study. We were supposed to meet Myles for dinner and they ended up coming out to Earl’s Court so I didn’t have to put money on my Oyster card. Shahida stayed in and got pizza with her brother and sister in law. Penny, Myles, and I went to this Japanese restaurant. Myles seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. Dinner went really well. We had a lot of fun and he really liked the hat and socks he got him for Christmas. The socks had super heros and comic strips on them. We couldn’t not buy them for him. The hat was fleece lined and had furry ear flaps. I’ve never seen him as excited about anything as he was about his hat. It was so adorable. The check came and he gave the waitress his card. Penny reached the bill so we could give him cash and he pulled it out of her way with a, “Fuck off. I got it.” It was sweet of him. I like when he’s in a good mood. It’s a nice change. He’s going to come by the flat Wednesday night to give us our presents. He hasn’t had time to shop yet apparently.

I’ve been thinking about where I was in life a year ago and it’s actually kind of funny. When I went home for break last year I spent the whole time talking about T and Ollie and Massimo. Now I’m going to go home and talk about the Greenwich boys (or the Boys O’ Lewisham as we wrote on their Christmas card) and Myles. It’s actually crazy how much has changed in year.

I have four days left and three more finals. I have two tomorrow, the first of which is at 9 AM so I should probably get some sleep. I’m going to need to wake up early and keep studying (or you know start).

[historywhore2-0]

For the most part my last weekend in London was fun. Penny and I went and hung out with the boys in Greenwich on Friday night. We originally wanted them to come out to Kings Cross but George is pretty much skint and apparently spent today working. Yes, this is a development. He got a job and we’re very confused. Well, we were but then he told us where he’s working and it made it more sense. He’s bar-tending. In Canary Wharf. Oh yes. He is way too pretty to bartend. He’s going to make so much money in tips. I have twenty bucks on some forty year old banker trying to make him his boy-toy in the first month. So, anyways, George will be broke until he gets his first paycheck. We decided to venture down to Lewisham. He wasn’t getting away with not saying good-bye. Penny and I managed to get to the house all on our own and then had to convince George to let us in. He was legitimately talking to us through the mail slot. Other George was apparently watching this but had no idea what was going on. He was so confused. Eventually we gained access to the house and Other George greeted us with hugs and kisses on the cheek.

We then spent a good ten minutes digging through their take-out menu drawer trying to find somewhere that would deliver us pizza. We pestered our George for awhile about what he wanted on his pizza and then got into the millionth conversation of the year about our accents. Other George spent a few minutes telling me that Chicago is pronounced “Chic-caahgo” instead of “Chicaago” (the way I pronounce it) before George jumped in and said Chicago with the hardest -a sound possible and I laughed and stopped arguing. Other George lectured us on the existence of the “imaginary r” in the English language. That’s why the English say “parth” instead of “path”. Apparently. We rolled out eyes and the Georges left to go buy drinks.

Karim, Esam’s brother, was in the shower when we got there and looked very confused when he came downstairs because he didn’t know we were coming over. He still greeted us in typical fashion with hugs, kisses, and pleasantries. Before he’d come downstairs and he’d just gotten out of the shower the hallway was flooded with the smell of clean boy. Attractive, clean boy. Mmm. Penny and I were standing at the bottom of the stairs sniffing and sighing. I was waiting for the Georges to come home right at that moment. Luckily, they waited until we were sitting in the living room willing the channel on the tv to change. Karim sat in one of the armchairs and I claimed the other. Penny and Other George took the couch and George sat on the beanbag at Penny’s feet.

We watched about an hour of Spiderman 3 before someone suggested changing the channel and we all went “Oh please god yes!”. Watching it had been funny if only because of the number of times Penny and I groaned whenever Mary Jane emotional. Karim and I also shared our extensive knowledge of comic book movies (I was so glad there was another geek present). When Spidey goes emo George made a comment about his “fringe” and Penny and I just about died. When the jazz club that Mary Jane works at first came on screen George cheered and I tried not to melt into a pile of goo. During the break up scene we were talking about boys crying and Other George admitted to being a crier. He’s more sensitive then he looks, he said. This is hard to believe because he looks like a teddy bear. An attractive teddy bear, but a teddy bear nonetheless. Our new goal is to get him to cry.

Penny and I went into Other George’s room to dig through his dvd shelf. Not a bad collection but the best part about this is just the room itself. We’d never been in it and the boys were all downstairs. There’s a huge Buddha statue on his mantle and candles on his shelf. There’s an incense holder, a single bed, the only full length mirror in the house, and a hilarious amount of beauty products visible inside the wardrobe. We came downstairs after snooping holding Dodgeball ready to fully embrace our roles as British men. Seriously, we are so not girls. We watched the movie while eating pizza and Penny and the boys drank beer. Karim set to work rolling joints for him and George. At one point he stopped to complain about a long hair he found in the grinder, “No one in the house has hair this long!” Penny and I tried not to laugh or make eye contact. It was one hundred percent one of ours. I’d forgotten about this but the first time we’d gone home with George, Esam had been hesitant about smoking in front of us. Most of the girls he knew disapproved of weed so he felt weird smoking with girls. Penny and I had laughed. Thus, the only girls that had been around that grinder recently were us. Whoops.

I wasn’t drinking but I desperately wanted to ask George for a drag. I didn’t though partially because I kind of hate that I felt like I wanted it that badly and partially because I didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t offer and I do know how expensive it is here. It was mostly tobacco anyways. I’m probably better off not killing my lungs this week. We were watching the movie and at one point Other George and Penny were cuddling. It was just more comfortable for them both the sit that way but it looked adorable. I was crazy jealous because Other George would be who I’d pick to cuddle with out of almost anyone. Other George at one point fell asleep and that was pretty hilarious. And then he shifted and woke himself up a bit but didn’t open his eyes. He literally was laughing at the movie with his eyes closed. That was awesome. Penny and I kept looking at each other and cracking up (or trying not to in some cases). George was a bit quiet but we found out later why (besides the obvious that not everyone talks through movies).

Other George went to bed and George disappeared into his room. I stuck my head in and found him clicking refresh on a some random football website. We ended up bugging him and spent like three hours watching stupid YouTube videos. There are moments when I think about my life like the English major I should be. I notice irony and pick out symbolism and enjoy drawing parallels and identifying foils. I think about my life in terms of plot diagrams and analyse things like most people struggle to analyse literature. I’ve always been very, very good at English. When I was 12, I attended a camp for gifted students at Northwestern. My class was literary analysis. It was three weeks long and condensed a semester of a high school class into this time period. I swear this is entirely responsible for shaping how I think. Anyways, Friday night was one of those moments. The second time we hung out with George and Jules it ended up being the four of us in Penny’s room until 6 AM watching stupid YouTube videos after forcing the boys to finish off the gin and vodka in the room (there was like four shots total between the two bottle). It was a nice parallel considering that we’ve known him for a year as of this weekend. And no, that isn’t creepy that I know that. It was my sister’s birthday. George is actually on the voicemail I left her last year (as is a bunch of random Swedes but that’s a different story).

It was nice to see George loosen up. Turns out he’s been annoyed with Other George lately which is why he wasn’t being super talkative while he was around. It also explains his annoyed face when Penny was cuddling with Other George. When he was talking about it he did a hilariously accurate impression of Other George. I never actually noticed how different their accents were (or at least I’d never thought about it) until then. We talked for awhile and Jesus do I love when we actually get to hang out with George, not the cool guy he likes to pretend he is or the asshole he becomes when drunk. He laughed his ass off at some of the videos (there was one that had him almost on the floor). At risk of sounding ridiculous, I love his laugh. His whole face lights up. It’s adorable.

We were screwing around on his computer and somehow got onto the discussion of people’s old MySpaces. This led to the not-so-fun discovery of my MySpace which includes a mortifying blog entry I wrote when I was 14. I had to leave the room while they read it. I tried to get control of the computer and Penny literally held me back while George clicked on the link and started to read out loud. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed, I could have actually died. George and Penny, on the other hand, were dying of laughter. It was this like free-verse psuedo-intellctual poem thing. Oh god, it’s bad. George, after he’d stopped laughing long enough to speak, said that it would actually be good if he didn’t know the context. However, as it was a 14 year old girl’s emo MySpace blog entry there was no way it could be taken seriously. It could have been worse. At least they laughed and didn’t just decide to never speak to me again.

We sat around in George’s room for awhile and then decided we should probably take off. We were cabbing it home as it was late. George offered us his bed again. Well, he said “You can stay but you’ll have to sleep on the sofa. Just kidding, you can sleep in my bed considering you hijacked it last time.” We protested that Esam had offered his bed and he looked so shocked. It was hilarious. We said thank you but we did really have to be up kind of early. He kept emphasizing that he wasn’t kicking us out. He was totally ok with us spending the night. The more he said it the more I wanted to turn to Penny and just say fuck it. It was really sweet of him to keep offering. Our cab got there eventually and we said good-bye. George finally opened the Christmas card we got the boys. It was actually a hilarious card. On the outside it said “Sorry I got so drunk at your party (next week)”. On the inside, it was addressed to “Dear Boys” and signed “<3 the Girls”. George laughed at it and put it on the mantle in the living room. We hugged Karim good-bye and he kissed us on the cheek and wished us a merry Christmas. We told him to have a good break and then moved to hug George. His hugs did not last nearly long enough. We’re not going to see him for a month (well, three weeks-ish). Penny and I were both a tad disappointed but he did tell me he wanted to Skype while I was in the States so that’ll be fun.

All in all, it was a really good night. Out faces literally hurt from laughing so much. We giggled for like six hours straight I swear. We also got the bonding time with George we wanted to badly. None of us were drunk and George wasn’t flying by any means. It was nice to just chill and talk and really solidify the friendship we’re not always convinced exists. He’s so much more relaxed and himself when he’s home. It’s amusing to watch how he interacts with the boys too. Things like right before we left Karim was in the kitchen doing something and George stuck his head in the hallway and asked what he was cooking. Karim said something and George goes, “Wanna make that a meal for two?” So adorable. He then said that he could contribute digestives to the meal. He was nibbling on a cookie, lookin’ adorable. Karim eventually brought him a plate with two pieces of toast on it. One piece had beans on it, the other had scrambled eggs. Karim held a plate set up the same way for himself. Penny and I were resisting the urge to profess our love for the two of them. It was completely the way one of their parents used to make food. You could just tell that they’ve been friends forever.

I also just love being around to observe that house. I swear to god I should just major in sociology. The kitchen is a disaster area. Seriously, no clean dishes at all. The floor is literally covered in random spills and I’ve never wanted to wipe down a counter more in my life. The best part about all of this is the post-it note stuck to the fridge that says “I cleaned the kitchen. You mess it up and I’ll mess you up!”. The number of boys that live in the house has been clarified as five. It’s George, Esam, Karim, Other George, and Leon. Hilarious thing? There are only four bedrooms. Esam has his own room (or is sharing his bed with Karim which would be funnier) and so do the Georges. The only room we haven’t been in is Leon’s which in our heads now contains bunk beds that he shares with Karim. No idea how the living arrangements were decided. Esam appears to be the only one with a double bed and definitely has the biggest room. George is the only one not in school but has his own room. Karim is Esam’s older brother but appears to be sharing with someone. It’s a mystery. Another mystery is what they’re all doing for break. George isn’t going home and neither is Karim but Esam and Leon are. Other George will head home to Chestnut (wherever the hell that is). How did Karim and Esam decide who get’s to go home? I know George and Karim are excited to be in London for NYE but that also means Christmas alone. Before I knew Karim was staying I was ready to miss my flight home so that George wouldn’t be alone for Christmas.

We got home pretty late and tried not to say anything that could be in anyway funny because our faces literally hurt from smiling and laughing too much. This is much harder then you’d imagine. We went to bed and got up the next day and rushed to the Tower to go ice skating. It ended up just being Penny and I who went. It was fun though. I really enjoy ice skating and there is no better place that the Tower of London to go. It was incredibly pretty and wintery. We then went back to the flat and Penny went Christmas shopping while I cleaned up our mess from brunch and tried to nap. We ended up watching four episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl once she got back. We then went to dinner and got ready to go out. Shahida was out with her brother so it was just the two of us again.  Coco came over and hung out with us while we got ready. It was nice to see her.

We decided to skip the End of Term party and just go to the Big Chill. We went and it was alright. We decided to check out what was going on at the Social Club. There was supposed to be some Indie concert going on. Yeah, we walked in and something became very clear. “Indie concert” was apparently code for “lesbian night”. Yeah. We were literally surrounded by lesbians and some very confused guys who apparently didn’t get the memo either. It was kind of hilarious. We ended up talking to these guys Toby and Kev who ended up buying us drinks so we wouldn’t leave them with the lesbians. We did anyways and went back to Big Chill. The music had taken a turn for the worse somewhere along the way. I was quickly sobering up and far too drunk to keep drinking. My feet were killing me and Penny was drunk. In short, I was not having a good time. I didn’t want to leave though because Penny had started talking to this guy. I wasn’t sure why I was in such a bad place to be out but I didn’t want to ruin her last Saturday because I can’t keep my emotions in check. Eventually we were sitting on the couches upstairs and Penny started making out with this guy. I opened Facebook on my phone. I am so cool.

I was already pretty miserable at this point and then someone from home’s status was “BLIZZARD WARNING!”. I almost burst into tears. That was the worst time to find out that anything might prevent me from getting home on Friday. The music was still bad and I ended up getting hit on by the old French guy when I went to sit downstairs because I got sick of watching Penny make out with this random. I took that as my cue to get Penny and go home. My feet hurt and I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. We got home and Penny was washing her face when she goes, “Oh no.” I asked her what was wrong and she said she’d show me in a second. I immedietly knew what was wrong and started cracking up. She managed to get her first hickey in a year and a half from a 24 year old random who break dances, has a US passport, and lays bricks for a living. So unbelievably funny.

The next morning, Coco came over and we exchanged Christmas presents. Penny got me this really pretty gold necklace with a stag on it and a keychain from Harry Potter world. Shahida got me this incredibly pretty leather bound notebook from this boutique in Kensington. They both seemed to like what I got them and Coco was really excited about the cupcake shaped piggy bank I’d gotten her. Coco, Penny, and I then went and got brunch and Penny sent me home to go study. We were supposed to meet Myles for dinner and they ended up coming out to Earl’s Court so I didn’t have to put money on my Oyster card. Shahida stayed in and got pizza with her brother and sister in law. Penny, Myles, and I went to this Japanese restaurant. Myles seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. Dinner went really well. We had a lot of fun and he really liked the hat and socks he got him for Christmas. The socks had super heros and comic strips on them. We couldn’t not buy them for him. The hat was fleece lined and had furry ear flaps. I’ve never seen him as excited about anything as he was about his hat. It was so adorable. The check came and he gave the waitress his card. Penny reached the bill so we could give him cash and he pulled it out of her way with a, “Fuck off. I got it.” It was sweet of him. I like when he’s in a good mood. It’s a nice change. He’s going to come by the flat Wednesday night to give us our presents. He hasn’t had time to shop yet apparently.

I’ve been thinking about where I was in life a year ago and it’s actually kind of funny. When I went home for break last year I spent the whole time talking about T and Ollie and Massimo. Now I’m going to go home and talk about the Greenwich boys (or the Boys O’ Lewisham as we wrote on their Christmas card) and Myles. It’s actually crazy how much has changed in year.

I have four days left and three more finals. I have two tomorrow, the first of which is at 9 AM so I should probably get some sleep. I’m going to need to wake up early and keep studying (or you know start).