#aoibh's thoughts

[4ullbloom]

Y'all ever yearn for something so hard it makes you feel like a dog starving out on the streets? Like bro, if I'm not fed some scraps soon I will be gnawing at my own limbs.

[doctor-loki-lannister]

Mates of Soul

Hozier x Plus Size Reader

Masterlist

rated: E (18+, MDNI)

tags: Plus Size Reader, Established Relationship, Dadzier, talks of past trauma/child abuse, PIV sex, Oral (f-receiving), vague lactation kink, Andrew and reader are both switches

words: 21k+

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65489314

     “Phel” Andrew murmurs sleepily, pressing a kiss to your temple as he curls into your warmth. He’d finally gotten your six-month-old Aoibhe back down to sleep for next few hours. “C’mere” he mumbles wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you flush against him.

     “Ngh” you groan, still half asleep having fallen back to sleep as soon as Andrew offered to take your daughter back to her room once she was done feeding. “What” you mumble against his t-shirt clad chest.

     “Remember when you first told me you didn’t want to have kids” he hums pulling you to rest on top of him.

     “Mhm” you hum eyes still closed trying to hold on to your sleep.

     “Do you ehm……… do you ever I d’know regret for a lack of ehm a better term changing your mind” he asks softly his fingers trailing up and down your spine softly.

     “Oh um I d’know I can’t say I’ve ever thought about it well at least not since we first found out I was pregnant and that little blip on insanity I had” you reply sitting up straddling his waist fully awake now. “Do um…… do you” you ask sheepishly your arms wrapping tightly around your stomach. Your mind waring with itself simultaneously wanting to hide from him but keep him close for comfort.

     “No God no” he says gripping your hips keeping you in his lap as he sits up against the headboard. “I just ehm I only ask because you haven’t talked to your parents in years hell you never ehm…… you never told them about Aoibhe, I just ehm I don’t want you to resent having Aoibhe because you felt like you had to cut your parents off”

     “Andy, I didn’t have to cut them off I chose to cut them off because there was no me being the best version of me I could possibly be with them in the picture and Aoibhe and you both deserve the best version of me” you sigh cupping his cheeks in your hands as his fingers nervously toy with the edge of your sleep shorts. “I don’t regret it I could never regret it”

     “I just I don’t want you to wake up some day and regret losing them” he mutters almost shyly. “I just…… I wish you never had to make that decision in the first place no child should have to choose between having their parents in their life and their own child’s wellbeing”

     “Oh, you sweet man” you sigh leaning forward to kiss his furrowed brow before resting your forehead against his. “it’s fine really I think a part of me knew it was coming the second I moved to Ireland and finally got out of that hell hole of a country that I’d eventually cut contact” you shrug brushing your nose against his. “It was something I’d tossed around for years since I turned eighteen and I moved out I just never had a reason outside of what I view to be my own selfishness to cut contact before you because you made me realize I could be a mother”

     “Ophelia Rose Von Brandt it isn’t selfish to cut people from your life that don’t deserve to be in it” Andrew sighs his hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

Pulling your head back your green-blue hazel eyes meet his green hazel ones through the moonlight coming in from the crack in the curtains. “Andy I……” you trail off averting your gaze down to your hands now nervously rubbing at your skin, memories from your rocky childhood swimming behind your eyes.

“Look at me Phelly” he murmurs brushing at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “Sunflower” he sighs releasing your cheeks he grabs your hands stilling them “You’ve gotta stop doing that you’re gonna hurt yourself” he mutters taking your hands in his allowing you to toy with his fingers. “Now will you please look at me”

Finally, you look up at him, your gaze landing on the headboard behind him. “It’s fine Andrew I promise I’m fine” you sniffle “can we just um…… can we just go back to bed now”

“We can go back to bed Phel, but you need to talk about this it’s clearly upsetting you” Andrew sighs squeezing your hands reassuringly.

“It doesn’t really bother me most days I promise I’m fine” you sigh readjusting yourself so you’re lying on his chest your legs now straddling his.

“Just ehm just promise me you’ll come to me or if not me I d’know my Mam or someone when you’re having a bad day” he sighs brushing your hair back from your forehead leaning down to kiss your temple.

“I promise” You murmur already half asleep.

“Thank you” he sighs pressing a kiss to your temple gently trailing his fingertips along your spine lulling you back to sleep. “I’m sorry” he murmurs to your sleeping form settling in for a long night knowing he wasn’t going back to sleep his mind to full of memories.

====

April 2017

     You’d started dating right after he came back from his first tour. The time away apparently giving him the courage necessary to finally ask you out after roughly 4 years of friendship.

Now after little over a year of dating he’d asked you to move in with him, and you wanted nothing more, but first you needed him to know everything he was signing up for before taking this next step in your relationship. You had texted him asking him to come over to yours for dinner. You were going to make his favorite then sit him down with a fresh bottle of Jameson and tell him your story.

He showed up only ten minutes late with a tub of your favorite ice cream in hand. “Hey Love, sorry I’m late I had the brilliant idea of stopping to get your favorite ice cream but that ended up resulting in five separate stops to find it” he calls letting himself into your flat with the key you’d given him years ago.  

“Oh, um Hi Bear” you gasp breaking out of your reverie. “That’s sweet you didn’t have to” you hum absentmindedly leaning up to kiss his cheek taking the tub from his hands to put it in the freezer.

“Are you alright Sour Patch you don’t seem entirely present” Andrew asks worriedly cupping your face in his hands.

“Hmm oh um yeah sorry there’s just a lot on my mind nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about” you smile halfheartedly turning your head to kiss the center of his palm.

“You know you can come to me with anything right Love” he murmurs brushing your hair behind your ear. “I’m your partner in everything I’m here if and when you need me”

“I know but it’s not a conversation I’m ready to have quite yet” you murmur reaching up to pat his hand still cupping your cheek before turning to put the finishing touches on your dinner.

“Alright ehm well I’m here whenever you’re ready” he says scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

“Thank you Andy I um…… I appreciate it” you sigh plating your dishes.

“Yeah, course Flower, that’s what I’m here for I love you all I want is your happiness and wellbeing” Andrew hums coming up behind you. Wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you tight against him, he burrows his face in the crook of your neck.

“Ditto” you sigh, your breath hitching in your chest at the thought of breaking this gentle giants heart.

“Hey, hey what’s going on why are you crying” Andrew asks spinning you in his arms to face him.

“Andy I……” you hiccup sniffling as you start to rub your hands together nervously.

“What is it Mo Chroί” he murmurs terror flashing in his eyes as he wipes the steadily flowing tears from your cheeks.

“I…… I love you pl…please know that” you stutter averting your gaze unable to look into his eyes.

“Phel please tell me what’s going on you’re starting to scare me Darlin” Andrew stresses trying to get you to look him in the eyes.

“Um…… I um I think we should break up” you mumble digging the nail of your thumb into the meaty palm of your hand.

“Wha- I thought…… you…… you just said you loved me” Andrew stresses taking a step back from you as though he was just burned.

“Andy” you whimper reaching out for him.

“No just…… you can’t tell me you love me and then in the next breath tell me you want to break up Ophelia that’s…… that’s not how any of this works” he snaps his hands finding their way into his hair pulling at the roots.

“It’s for your own good” you hiccup curling in on yourself.

“How can any of this be for my own good Ophelia I…… I just asked you to move in with me…… I love you fuck I…… I want to spend my life with you” he cries his voice slowly getting louder with each word. “I just…… I don’t understand how-“

“I can’t have kids” you blurt out.

“I…… what” he asks softly his fury deflating like a punctured balloon.

“I can’t give you kids” you sigh pressing your palms flat against your stomach trying to curb the churning feeling settling there.

“Phel that’s not a deal breaker you know that don’t you” he stresses stepping towards you “you’ve gotta know that” he whispers as though approaching a wounded animal “If at some point down the line we decide we want kids we can adopt or figure something else out” Andrew sighs stepping towards you.

“No um you don’t understand it’s not that I can’t have kids as far as I know I’m physically able to have kids, but I can’t…… I won’t have kids” you stress stepping away from him one of your hands coming up to press against your forehead feeling the beginnings of a migraine.

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me Phel” Andrew sighs one of his hands on his hip while the other cards into his hair.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Andrew” you sigh pinching the bridge of your nose “and before you say anything no it’s not because I don’t trust you it’s because I don’t like talking about it fuck I don’t even like thinking about it” you start looking up at him “but suffice to say I was abused as a child, and I don’t know if I can trust myself to raise a child” you stress rubbing at your brow. “I’d rather never have children then run the risk of putting a child through the shit I went through”

“So what you’re breaking up with me without even giving me the chance to decide for myself” he growls his hands waving wildly in the air.

“Andy I…… I’m doing this to save you the hurt later on down the road” you sniffle rubbing furiously at your face.

“What about the hurt I’m feeling right now Ophelia because if I’m being completely honest with you right now it feels like my fucking heart is being ripped from my fucking chest” he seethes through clenched teeth his hand making a clawing motion at his chest.

“Are you telling me that you’d honestly give up your chance at being a father just for me because I honestly don’t believe you would, or if you did you’d grow to regret it and resent me Andrew and as much as this hurts right now it’ll hurt a thousand times more if I have to watch you hate me” you hiccup your hand now making it’s way to your bare chest scratching at the skin covering your collarbone.

“Who said becoming a father was the end all be all for me because I sure as shit didn’t say that” he huffs his arms flailing around haphazardly in frustration.

“I know you want that I’ve heard you talk about it with your mother Andrew, and I won’t be the person to deny you that” you cry angrily wiping at your cheeks. “I’m not going to make you choose between me and something you want so I’m choosing for you”

“And what if what I want is you, what if the future I fucking want is with you whether or not that involves children I don’t care because what I fucking want is you Ophelia” he sighs carding his fingers through his hair.

“Andrew I……” you start stepping towards him.

“No…… just don’t” he says stepping back from you. “I don’t fucking care whether or not we have children Ophelia all that I fucking care about is your happiness and your wellbeing” he sighs taking another step away from you. “I think ehm…… I think I’m gonna go”

“Andy, please I don’t want you leaving on bad terms” you plead following after him. “let’s just eat and take a minute we can talk this out”

“Ophelia I can’t…… I just…… I’m gonna go home” he sighs holding his hand up to silence you “When you’ve finally got your head screwed back on right you know where I’ll be” he murmurs turning to face you in the doorway of your home, defeat flashing in his eyes.

You stand there stunned into silence, your mind telling you to chase after him, but your feet were stubbornly rooted to the ground. All you could do was stand in horror watching as he walked away from you, taking your heart with him. You’d told yourself leading up to today that this was for the best and that you were protecting him from the inevitable but now you weren’t so sure. Now you were second guessing everything. Now all you wanted was to curl up into his warm embrace and listen to him tell you everything was going to be alright. But he wasn’t going to do that this time because you’d royally fucked up and he wasn’t coming back.

“I’m sorry” you whimper falling to your knees in the middle of your living room. “I’m sorry p…please c…come back” you let out a pitiful whine curling in on yourself. “I……I fu…fucked up buddy” you sniffle as your cat Charlie rubs up against you.

====

A few weeks later

     You’d barely ate hell you barely did anything besides sleep only moving from your bed to use the restroom and to force yourself to eat even if most of what you were eating wasn’t exactly nutritional.

The only thing keeping you from fully letting yourself rot away to nothingness was the little orange and white ball of pure chunk, also known as your four-year-old cat Charlie. Said ball of fluff was currently curled up against your chest purring loudly his forehead resting against your chin as he slept. Your arm wrapped around his chunky frame, hand pressed flat against his chest. You lay in silence the tears having stopped days ago leaving you to lie in bed numb to everything except for the comforting presence of your furry son.

It’s been four weeks since he walked out after you broke his heart trying to protect him. Four weeks of you convincing yourself you did the right thing. Four weeks of only showering when you couldn’t stand to smell yourself. Four weeks of only eating when your best friend demanded photo proof of you consuming some sort of food. Four weeks until you heard a knock at your door.

You didn’t acknowledge it at first just assumed it was in your head, but then it came with a shout of your name. “Ophelia Rose open up it’s Alex” you hear a deep rough voice through the door of your studio flat.

“Fucking Christ can’t a girl wallow in self-pity alone” you groan dragging yourself from the nest of blankets and stuffies you’d made for yourself. Charlie chirping in outrage as your movements wake him from his tenth nap this afternoon. “Shh baby it’s just your idiot Uncle Mama will be right back” you hum leaning down to brush your hand over his soft head placing a kiss to his blush pink nose.

“Phel let me in or so help me G……” He trails off as you whip the door open glaring up at him.

“The fuck d’you want Alexander” you grumble standing there in nothing but the sleep clothes you’d put on three days ago.

“Well for starters I’d like for you to stop being a dumbass and go talk to Andrew because he much like yourself I see hasn’t left his bed for more than taking care of Elwood for the past four weeks” Alex starts raising a brow at you. “He won’t even tell Raine what happened let alone me, fucking Stevie also struck out”

“Andrew and I broke up Alex it was for the best now will you please go home you’ve disturbed your nephew” you sigh bending down to pick up the chirping cat allowing him to rest against your left shoulder burrowing into your neck.

“Yeah, well I think Charles here will understand that I only disturbed his beauty rest for his Mum’s own good” Alex says reaching out to take your son from your shoulders stepping into your house.

“Ok yeah sure barge into my house steal my son from me” you grumble throwing your hands up in the air as you shut your front door behind him.

“Charles here doesn’t seem to mind” Alex grins jutting his chin out allowing Charlie to rub his face against his stubble. “Huh bubs you like when Uncle Alex holds you cause he’s taller than your Mum”

“Yeah, yeah a whole four inches big whoop” you smirk rolling your eyes at him.

“Hey four inches is a lot” he guffaws dramatically covering Charlie’s ears.

“Mhm ok” you smirk “but seriously Alex I don’t really know what you’re doing here because I’m no longer Andrew’s problem” you sigh plopping down on the couch facing away from Alex.

“Ophelia, I know you did something stupid so why don’t you just admit to it, and we can go about taking the proper steps to fix it” Alex sighs sitting down beside you frowning when the cat jumps from his shoulder to go sit in your lap.

“How do you know it wasn’t Andrew who did the stupid thing” you mutter scratching the underside of Charlie’s chin.

“Because Andrew would’ve told me if he did something stupid and he has not told me dick about shit when it comes to what happened between the two of you” Alex replies crossing his arms over his chest. “Thus, resulting in the conclusion that you made an idiot mistake as you can be known to do when it comes to emotional situations”

“God you’re not supposed to know me this well” you groan your head flopping against the back of the couch.

“Yeah, well I wasn’t your first friend in Ireland for nothing” he chuckles mirror your position on the couch flopping his head to the side to face you.

“That’s just because you’re Mom is a sweetheart and noticed the lonely American expat struggling to make friends and forced me upon you” you laugh Charlie climbing up to rest on your torso his front paws nestled between your breasts as he rested his head against them falling back to sleep once more. “And actually your mom was my first friend here” you grin over at him.

“That may be, but my point still stands in Ireland I am your oldest friend” he replies before catching your raised brow. “that is your age” he amends hands raised in mock defense. “the least you could do is have a little bit of trust in me to tell me what happened between you and my other best friend also known as the giant lumbering idiot Andrew” Alex sighs smiling softly at you.

“I…… I broke up with Andrew because I can’t be…… I won’t be the person who keeps him from having kids” you sigh your pointer finger softly brushing between Charlie’s eyes as he purrs contently against you.

“And did you ask him what he felt about this before making that decision for him” Alex counters raising questioning brow at you “and on another note and simply because you’ve never told me this in the five years I’ve known you but, why don’t you want kids not that you have to have a reason per say it just sounds like you do”

“No, I didn’t ask him because I know he wants kids I overheard him talking to Raine about his future children the other day” you sigh “and I didn’t tell you because one I don’t have to explain to you or anyone for that matter why I don’t want to have children but also because it’s not particularly something I like talking about”

“Flower I hope you realize I’ve never heard him talk about children until you came around, and if you would have done the smart thing and talked to Andrew first you would know that he only wants children with you and if you don’t want children neither does he” Alex sighs “you’re both as stubborn and bullheaded as the other it’s a wonder you don’t get yourselves into more messes like this” he chuckles slapping his hand to his forehead in exasperation. “And we will be circling back to that something you don’t like to talk about, because it sounds like something you need to talk about”

“Alex let me ask you this, if you for whatever reason didn’t want or couldn’t have children and you knew your partner wanted kids at some point would you break up with them no matter how much it hurt you because you knew it was the best for them” you sniffle the first tears in days pooling in your eyes.

“I can’t say I don’t understand why you made the decisions you did Phel, but I also can’t say I wouldn’t give my partner the option to choose for themselves whether or not they’re willing to stay and give up the possibility of future children or if they want children badly enough to leave” Alex says sitting up to face you more fully.

“Yeah, well I didn’t do that because I’m a royal fuck up Alexander always have been always will be its why I’ll die alone with nothing but my fur babies to keep me company” you let out a watery bitter laugh.

“No, you won’t because you’re going to get dressed well…… shower first you smell” Alex flinches as you glare at him.

“You’re lucky I refuse to disturb my son” you growl your head snapping up to glare at him.

“Hey, I’m just calling it as I see it” he laughs throwing his hands up in surrender “but seriously take a shower get dressed we’ll get some food in you get you out of this cave of self-pity and when you’re ready you’re going to go over to Andrews and explain to him the reasons behind your idiotic decisions and give him the option to choose for himself yeah” he smiles reaching out to squeeze your hand not resting on your cat.

“Yeah alright” you sigh leaning your head back once more closing your eyes.

“It’s gonna be alright Flower” Alex murmurs reaching up to scratch behind Charlie’s ears. “Once you explain to him whatever possessed you to make your outlandish decision, I think he’ll understand”

“God, I hope you’re right and I promise when I’m ready I will explain to you more of my backstory” you mutter softly turning to look at him.

“No rush Flower in case you haven’t noticed you’re kind of stuck with my ass” he laughs “like a slightly annoying big brother”

“Only slightly,” you ask smirking playfully at him.

“Yeah smartass” he mocks you pinching your arm.

“Oi” you gasp flinching away from him causing your son to let out an indignant chirp. “you’ve disturbed the baby you big meany”

“I think he’ll forgive me once he gets to snuggle with Uncle Alex while his mother showers the depression off” he says reaching over to pull the lanky orange and white cat into his arms.

“You’re like his third favorite person so yeah probably” you grin standing up.

“Only third” he guffaws rubbing his hands down Charlie’s back as he settles against him.

“Well yes the first being me obviously I’m his mother and the second being Andy his um…… his father” you reply stuttering over your words at the thought of Andrew.

“Ah yes and I’m just the lowly uncle” he sighs bending down to kiss Charlie between his brows.

“As long as you know you’re place” you shrug before stalking off back towards your bedroom to shower.

====

An hour later

     You’d taken Alex’s advice and had a longer than usual hot shower before going through your normal hair routine and dressing yourself in the comfiest street clothes you could find. Padding back out to the living room you found Alex passed out sprawled on the couch Charlie curled on top of his chest fast asleep a wet patch of drool forming on Alex’s t-shirt.

     “Hamilton” you call the nickname familiar on your tongue, an inside joke from when you first met each other, and he made a comment about your American citizenship. Bending over you softly shake Alex’s shoulders rousing him from his nap.

     “Hmm wha-“ he mumbles blurry eyes blinking up at you and his hand instinctively grips Charlie securely to his chest.

     “You promised to feed me outside of what did you call it oh yeah my cave of self-pity” you laugh moving to pull on your slip-on vans sitting by your front door.

     “And what pray tell does the princess want to eat” he asks staring up at you.

     “Preferably something more nutritious than the shit I’ve been eating for the past four weeks” you shrug leaning over the back of the couch pressing a kiss to the top of Charlie’s head as he stretched before jumping off of Alex with a chirp.

     “Hmm too bad you don’t live in Kerry anymore because I got off the phone with Mum earlier and she’s making your favorite tonight, but alas you had to go and move to Bray for work” he sighs dramatically rolling his eyes as he stands from the couch.

     “Yeah, well when you’re the expat that needs a job to stay in this country, you’ll move were there’s a job” you shrug moving back towards your front door Alex trailing dutifully behind you. “Also, I haven’t lived in Kerry since before you boys came back from tour” you add confusedly.

     “I told you we could just elope, and you could’ve become a citizen the good old fashion way” he says latching the door behind him before locking it with his spare key. “Yeah, but the point still stands” he says following you towards his car.

     “Yeah, well I don’t think Andrew your best friend and hopefully still my partner would be very happy if I married you before him” you laugh hoping into the passenger seat of Alex’s green 2014 Subaru Outback.

     “You act as though I wouldn’t willingly share you with Andy” he scoffs rolling his eyes “for you it’d be more of a marriage of convenience until you and Andrew could officially get married” he shrugs hopping into the driver’s seat before turning over the engine.

     “I mean that’s fair, but you should’ve said something before I was like two months out from citizenship” you laugh allowing your gaze to fall out the window to the passing buildings as you make your way out of town. “Maybe it would’ve kicked Andy into gear and he would’ve asked me out sooner” you murmur mostly to yourself.

     “No that would’ve just made him broodier” Alex laughs “and you know it”

     “God, I wish I could say you weren’t right” you chuckle.

     Alex just grins cheekily at you, the cab settling into a comfortable silence, Alex’s playlist filling the cab.

Roughly thirty minutes later you pull into a local pub. “It’s gonna rain soon I can smell it” you hum stepping out of the car.

“You’d think as a man who also grew up in a rainy climate such as yourself, I’d know what you’re talking about but to this day I’m lost on what you’re smelling” Alex laughs holding the pub door open for you.

“Yes, well growing up in rural Pennsylvania I guess does that to a girl” you shrug making your way to your usual table in the corner of the pub right next to a window.

“You’re such a fucking American” he laughs taking the seat across from you.

“Meh there could be worse American traits for me to have” you shrug.

“Fair enough” he laughs “what do you want I’m gonna head up to the bar and order for us” he says after a bit.

“Hmmm a Jameson sour and I think the roast beef and mash” you hum looking up at him.

“Be right back” he says tapping the table before crawling from the booth and heading toward the bar.

He comes back a few minutes later with a Guiness for himself and your whiskey sour in hand. “Thanks” you murmur taking your glass from his hands.

“Course” he hums taking his seat once more “so about that tragic back story”

“I mean you already know I moved here essentially running from my past and that my relationship with my parents is rocky at best” you shrug “what more is there”

“Oh I don’t know maybe why your relationship is rocky enough with your parents that you’d one feel the need to move to a whole other country and two why said relationship has you convinced you can’t be a mother” he says raising an eyebrow skeptically at you.

“Oh yeah I guess I really haven’t gone into detail about this with you” you laugh nervously.

You spend the next hour or so giving Alex a rough sketch of your childhood and everything leading up to you moving to County Kerry. Something you admittedly should have done long before know.

“I told you it was going to rain” you laugh stepping from the pub two hours later feeling marginally lighter for having talked to Alex.

“Fucking witch” he laughs following you out the door.

You just laugh shrugging “the nose of a farmers granddaughter”

“Mhm witch” he mutters to himself.

You head back to your flat driving in a companiable silence broken up by the odd embarrassing story from your respective childhoods.

“Flower” Alex says once he’s put the car in park in your driveway.

“Hmm” you hum turning to look at him your hand stilling on the door latch.

“Talk to him tell him what you told me he’ll understand I promise” Alex murmurs reaching out to squeeze your hand. “Maybe take him home for a visit to meet your parents let him see firsthand what you’ve dealt with then let him decide for himself yeah”

“I…… I guess it can’t hurt more than it already does” you sigh smiling bittersweetly at him. “I’ll um…… I’ll talk to him tonight”

“It’s all gonna be alright kid” he smiles leaning over the center console pressing a quick brotherly kiss to your forehead.

“you’ve barely got a year on me Alexander” you laugh rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, and you’re still a child compared to me Ophelia” he mocks “now go snuggle your son for a little bit and then please go put my best mate out of his misery”

“I will” you nod popping the door open “oh and Alex” you hum bending down to look at him.

“Yeah Phel” he says turning to look at you.

“Thank you” you murmur smiling sweetly at him.

“Anytime Flower that’s what I’m here for” he shrugs.

“Love you Hamilton” you smile softly.

“Love you too Flower” he grins sending you a wink “now go before you get soaking wet” he laughs

“Meh a little rain never hurt me, you know I live for this shit” you grin wiggling your eyebrows at him before standing closing his car door, and making your way to your front door. Leaving Alex in his car laughing at your antics as he backs out of your driveway.

====

     As soon as you step inside, you’re greeted by a soft chirping before a solid orange and white mass of fur landed on your shoulder. “Oof Hi handsome” you laugh breathlessly “Did you miss Mama” he replies with a crackly meow.

     “I missed you too Bubba” you hum burrowing your face in his soft fur. “do you wanna come with Mama to your dad’s house if you haven’t noticed the tall man hasn’t been around for the past couple weeks and that’s because your Mama is a big old dumbass” you sigh kissing the top of his head “and she’s gotta apologize to him but that might be easier if she has her favorite baby with her” he chirps in reply nuzzling against your jaw. “Glad you agree baby”

     You spend the next thirty minutes getting around packing an overnight bag. You knew it was hopeful of you to pack one, but you had to trust in Alex’s conviction, but especially in Andrew.

     “Alright Charlie let’s go” you murmur patting your chest signaling him to jump up to his favorite perch. “Good Bubba” you hum kissing his blush pink nose before securing your hand around his butt and heading to your car locking your front door behind you.

     Making your way quickly to your car you settle Charlie into the passenger seat before hoping in the driver’s seat and pulling out of your driveway.

====

     The rain picks up from a soft drizzle to a downpour halfway through the drive making it hard for you to see. “a whole week’s worth of beautiful sunny days and the day I finally get my head out of my ass and make the drive to Andrew’s to apologize it downpours of course” you grumble to yourself scratching Charlie’s chin absentmindedly as he rests in your lap. “It’s a good thing this isn’t my first time driving in rain on backroads” you sigh adjusting your glasses up your nose.

     Roughly twenty minutes later you pull up to the gate at the end of Andrew’s drive, punching in the code you let yourself in. “Your dad is still the biggest sap I ever knew” you smile sweetly to yourself at the fact that the code for his gate is still the day you two met almost five years ago. Alex introduced the two of you a couple months after becoming friends when he brought you along to one of Andrew’s gigs.

     “Welp Bubba here goes nothing I guess” you sigh popping the car door open grabbing Charlie and hoisting him to your shoulder. Charlie lets out a displeased meow as you try your hardest to shield him from the rain. “I know you don’t like the rain” you laugh softly pressing a kiss to his head as you make your way toward Andrew’s front door.

Stepping up onto the porch you reach out to knock on the door, hesitating before rapping your customary knock against the wood. Taking a step back from the door you wait anxiously for him to answer your face buried in Charlie’s side seeking out comfort.

     “Ophelia” Andrew murmurs confusion clear across his face. “What are you…… did you bring Charlie”

     “Oh, um yeah…… I um I talked to Alex earlier and he made me realize that I made a mistake and that you deserve to make the decision about your future for yourself” you murmur fiddling nervously with Charlie’s tail. “And I brought Charlie for moral support” you shrug “can I um can I come in”

     “Oh, ehm yeah” he stutters stepping aside to let you in “ah fuck Elwood” he gasps stumbling backwards tripping over the dog hovering excitedly behind him.

     You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face at his clumsiness. “thank you” you murmur bending over to let Charlie slip from your arms smiling as you watch him run off to play with Elwood. “So um how are you” you ask awkwardly pressing your left thumb nervously into the palm of your right hand.

     “How do you think” he asks curtly brushing past you making his way to the kitchen.

You wince at his curt response silently following him to the kitchen.

“Phel as ehm as happy as I am to see you can we ehm…… can we skip the bullshit and the niceties I don’t really have the patience” he sighs grabbing the bottle of redbreast whiskey from the shelf along with two glasses.

“Right um I guess I have some explaining to do” you sigh scratching nervously at the skin of your forearms.

“More than some I would say” he scoffs sliding a glass of the amber liquid toward you.

Wincing you accept the glass before tossing back the contents. “I deserve that” you sigh sitting the glass back down allowing him to refill it.

“Not going to deny that” he laughs bitterly topping your glass off. “Now as nice as this is” he says sarcastically waving at your glass “Can we get on with it because if you’re really not ready to talk I suggest you take Charlie and go back home because I honestly can’t be bothered right now” he sighs pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Right um” you flinch at the curtness in his voice. Nervously scratching at your collarbone, you glance anxiously around the kitchen. Sighing you turn your back to him resting against the kitchen counter before sliding to the ground.

“Ophelia” he groans shuffling to join you.

“Don’t” you blurt out holding your hand up. “Just um let me do this my way yeah” you sigh “I don’t know how well I’ll be able to do this if I have to look at the pity in your eyes”

“Alright” he sighs stepping back to his side of the kitchen island. “Whenever you’re ready” he murmurs before tossing back the contents of his glass and pouring himself another glass.

“Thank you” you let out a sigh of relief. “So, um as you um as you know my parents are divorced and have been since I was roughly six months old reason A why I’ve got attachment issues I guess” you shrug nervously toying with the hem of your shirt. Taking a sip from your glass you continue. “But ah I spent the better part of my life with my two older sisters playing the middleman between two parents who hated each other’s guts and who’s new partners subsequently hated the ex’s”

“I know this you’ve told me this already Ophelia that doesn’t explain why you’ve convinced yourself you can’t have kids and why that subsequently means we can’t be together” Andrew sighs sitting his glass on the wood countertop with a soft thud. Crossing his arms over his chest he lets his head fall back to rest against the cabinets.

“Right um well anyways” you sigh waving your hand dismissively “So, I didn’t have the best life growing up hence why you haven’t met any of my four parents for starters, my parents got divorced as you already know when I was 6 months old, I was supposed to save their marriage and I always felt like my mother took that out on me” you pause taking another swig from your glass. “And um growing up my father wasn’t ever emotionally available, which as you know fucks with a child” pausing you took another large gulp of whiskey reaching up to set your glass on the island counter silently signaling him to refill your glass. “he was also unintentionally emotionally abusive because we weren’t allowed to walk away from conversations when it was getting to be too much or we had to have what he referred to as a good reason to cry” you shrug taking the now refilled glass from the counter above you. “Then his wife my stepmother came into the marriage with two other children and even though she always preached that she loved us all equally in reality her two children could do no wrong and no matter how hard me and my sisters tried we were never good enough for her” you sigh into your glass before knocking back more of the amber liquid. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg” you laugh bitterly a lump beginning to form in your throat. “I don’t um I don’t remember a lot from my childhood because of everything I went through” sniffling from the memories flooding through you, you tossed the glass back again.

“Ophelia I-” he murmurs softly your chest constricting painfully as you heard the pity in his voice.

“Please um just don’t” you sigh cutting him off before he could begin to apologize for something he had no control over.

“Alright” he sighs softly his hand coming up to rest against his collarbone feeling his heart constrict painfully in the cage of his chest.

“Now my mother she’s your classic narcissist” you laugh bitterly changing the subject. “She would make promises then break every single one and if she didn’t get what she thought she deserved she’d blow up at you, and it didn’t matter where it was if she was angry, you would know it” you breath tossing back the contents of your glass once more sitting it on the counter top. “I had to learn how to tell the difference in people’s foots steps and their moods based upon mannerisms and tone of voice just to um just to protect myself.” You murmur digging the nail of your thumb into your forearm anxiously, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack deep in your chest. “She um she had this way of always wanting to have alone time with my older sisters but never me she’d um she’d come up with every excuse not to be alone with me” you let out a watery sigh wiping furiously at your cheeks. “Do you know how much that hurts a child” your voice cracks painfully as you let out a watery sigh trying to calm yourself long enough to finish giving him the basics of your backstory. “Then she had two children with my stepfather, and I was pushed farther to the wayside” you shrug noncommittally “and no matter how much I didn’t want to I grew to resent them because in my fucked-up head I thought they were my replacements, and I mean I know now it wasn’t resentment for them but for my mother but I uh I still let my issues affect them and they were, are just kids they didn’t deserve that they still don’t” you bite back a sob taking in a long shuddering breath.

“and like that’s just some of the emotional stuff there was a decent amount of uh of physical abuse as well but um I don’t um I can’t talk about that yet” you mutter curling in on yourself.

Andrew himself had issues with his father because John couldn’t be wholly present in his life growing up because of a botched back surgery when Andrew was six. But he couldn’t imagine not having the loving parents he did have. His heart constricted painfully in his chest once more at the pain you suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to love you the most. Getting on his hand and knees he crawls around the kitchen island to you. Hesitantly he reaches his hands out to you placing them on your knees before travelling up your legs taking the whiskey glass and placing it on the counter above you. Silently he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you to his chest.

“I just wanted to be loved” you sobbed into his shoulder settling against his chest.

Cradling your head against his chest with one hand, the other coming to rest against your waist pulling you to sit on his lap. “I know my darling I know” he sniffles his voice cracking as he rocks you in an attempt to sooth you.

“Why wasn’t I good enough” you sobbed hiccupping between each word. “I tried everything and did anything they wanted I just wanted their love, but god it was never enough” you screamed against his chest.

“Hey, hey you could lay on the couch all day and you would be enough for me, let that be enough for you” Andrew pulled you tighter to him “I love you my family loves you; your friends love you, you are loved” he leans down pressing a kiss to your forehead before resting his chin on the crown of your head.

“But why couldn’t they love me is…… is there something wrong with me” you whine against him pressing your face harder into his chest.

“Nothing is wrong with you Phel I promise you that much if anything there’s something wrong with them for treating you the way they did” he sighs pressing a kiss against your forehead. “there’s nothing wrong with you I promise, you did the things you had to do to survive that doesn’t make you a bad person that makes you a survivor” he murmurs resting his forehead against yours brushing your nose with his. “and I know I can’t begin to understand the turmoil you’re going through but please don’t assume what’s best for me when it comes to our future if you’re truly afraid of the possibilities of becoming a parent then so be it but the only future I see for myself is one with you by my side however that future pans out is up to us” he sighs pulling back so he can look into your hazel eyes.

“I’m sorry I was scared, and I panicked” you mutter sniffling softly.

“It’s alright I’m just glad you finally told me” he sighs pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Remind me to send Alex a thank you gift for bringing you back to me this past month has been hell without you”

“Before you go thanking Alex” you laugh softly cupping his jaw in your hands. “He suggested I take you home to meet my parents before you make any definitive decisions about us”

“Oh god” he chuckles “I mean I’d like to meet your siblings at least and I supposed meeting the parents of the love of my life is something I’ll have to do eventually” he shrugs.

“Alright um I’ll get with Emma and make plans to come home for a bit” you sigh resting against his chest once more. “In the meantime can we please get off the floor my shitty ass joints are killing me”

“I thought you’d never ask” he chuckles helping you to stand from his lap before following you with a groan. “I’m getting too old to sit on the floor”

“Alright grandpa” you laugh wrapping your arms around his waist pulling him into your embrace.

“You like the fact that I’m old Ms. Daddy issues” he chuckles softly against your lips.

“Mmm don’t forget the Mommy issues too” you laugh softly. “Can um Charlie and I can we uh can we stay the night” you ask softly

“I was hoping that’s what you wanted when you showed up with our small fur child on my doorstep” he grins cupping your cheeks.

“Good because I think he misses the view he gets sitting on your shoulder” you grin pressing a kiss to his palm before stepping out of his embrace.

“I like to think he loves me for more than my height” he scoffs “I am after all his father”

“I’m sure there are other reasons he loves you, but your height is definitely his favorite I swear he’s more of a parrot than a cat sometimes” you smile reaching out to take his hand kissing the knuckles before guiding him towards the living room where your fur babies were already snuggled together.

====

     Andrew is knocked from his memories by the piercing cries coming from the baby monitor on his bedside table. “Oh, Aoibhe Bean” Andrew sighs softly to himself. Gently extricating himself from your embrace, he slips from the bed pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before slipping from the room taking the monitor with him.

     “Daddy’s coming Little Bear” Andrew murmurs stepping into the nursery right across the hall from your bedroom Elwood hot on his heels.

“what’s the matter my darling” he hums scooping the fussy infant into his warm embrace. Charlie lets out a displeased chirp from his position curled into the corner of the bed Aoibhe’s own personal guard. “Yes, I know Charlie I’m taking your baby I promise I shall return her as soon as she’s back to sleep” he chuckles at your cat’s protective antics.

Turning his attention back to the fussy infant in his arms he brushes her soft auburn curls back from her displeased face. Pressing his lips to her temple, he breaths in her soft baby scent. Swaying gently back and forth making his way to the changing table laying her down, causing her cries to go up in pitch. “Oh, I know you want daddy to hold you but he’s gotta change your nappy first” he murmurs softly protectively resting his large hand across her midsection keeping her steady as he pulls out what supplies he needed.

     Aoibhe lets out a displeased grunt wiggling as he tries to undo her sleeper. “Alright wiggle worm you’ve gotta stay still or Daddy can’t change your nappy and then where will we be” he chuckles tweaking her nose pulling a soft watery giggle from her. Elwood standing at his feet watching intently from the ground let out a soft yip in reply. Charlie made himself comfortable sitting above Aoibhe’s head on the table, allowing her to play with his tail as he flicks its around in front of her face, while Andrew worked on changing her nappy.

     “Silly bug” he laughs to himself gently tickling her soft belly before zipping her back into her footie pajamas. “let’s get you back to sleep before your Mammy wakes up yeah” he grins scooping Aoibhe back into his arms cradling her against his chest. “Hmm do you want Daddy to sing you a song” he murmurs sitting down in the plush rocking chair.

     “How about our song” you murmur softly standing in the door frame of the nursery. “Well one of our songs” you grin stepping into the room.

     “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” he sighs standing from the rocking chair, meeting you halfway.

     “I noticed your absence couldn’t go back to sleep without you I fear” you smile softly at him reaching up to cup his cheek your free hand resting on Aoibhe’s back as you leaned up to kiss him.

     “And you say I’m the sap” he chuckles leaning down to kiss your lips once more.

     “Because you are” you grin wrapping your free arm around his waist “now sing please” you murmur resting your head on his chest facing your daughter. “Hi Little Bear” you smile scrunching your nose as she reaches out opening and closing her fist against your cheek.

     “So demanding, but alas I can’t say no to my girls” he chuckles softly swaying you back and forth as he starts to hum the beginning notes of your song. “Honey, honey, do you see ‘em running” he starts his chest rumbling softly as he sways. “Even though it seems like nobody’s moving at all, stay together, no matter what the weather, even if the winds are changing everything that you are”

     Your arm not wrapped around his waist comes up to rest against Aoibhe’s back as she continued to sleepily grab at your face. “Said I never believed in the mates of soul” you join him softly harmonizing as you watched Aoibhe begin to drift off. “So I never once claimed that I know, that you’re the only, only one for me”

     “Honey, honey, do you see him gunning, aiming at her heart in case it makes a getaway, they say to stay together, and promise to forever, even if forever never really wanted to stay” you continue even though Aoibhe had fallen asleep against Andrew’s chest her hand still resting against your cheek.

     “I said I never believed in the mates of soul, and so I never once claimed that I know, that you’re the only, only one for me” continuing to sway with him your eyes closed contently letting him finish out the last few verses of the song.

====

End of June 2017

     You’d touched down in Baltimore roughly an hour ago having picked up your luggage you were now patiently waiting in line to check out your rental car for your two-week stay in Pennsylvania. “We could just go back home to our boys and away from the headache of my family” you sigh resting your head against his shoulder.

     “It’s gonna be alright love we’ll get the car I’ll be your passenger princess” he grins wiggling his eyebrows at you laughing when you slap his shoulder playfully. “we’ll make the hour-ish drive to your hometown get settled into our hotel room and just relax we don’t need to visit anyone right away” he says wrapping his arm around your shoulder pulling you tight against his chest pressing a kiss to your forehead before stepping up to the counter.

     “Name please” the clerk behind the desk says.

     “Ehm Andrew Hozier-Byrne” Andrew replied handing his license over to the clerk.

     “Are you going to be the only driver of the rental” the clerk drawls.

     “Oh um I’ll be the one doing most of the driving” you chime in offering over your license as well.

     “Name” the clerk states scrutinizing the plastic card.

     “Oh um Ophelia Von Brandt” you reply smiling nervously at the clerk.

     “Right well you can have these back” the clerk says handing your licenses back. “Just need the card you’ll be using to cover the rental then I’ll take you out to your car”

     “Right” Andrew nods pulling his credit card from his wallet handing it over to the clerk to charge before signing the electronic pad as directed.

     “Right this way” the clerk says grabbing a set of keys off the hook before stepping around the counter.

     Andrew grabs your hand not pulling your suitcase “C’mon” he grins pulling you along after the clerk.

     A couple of minutes later after you’d gotten the keys, Andrew was loading your luggage into the trunk.

“You know I’m completely capable of lifting the luggage into the car right” you laugh crossing your arms across your chest.

     “Well yes but what kind of partner would I be if I let my lady love do all the heavy lifting” he grins reaching up to close the trunk.

     “Ridiculous” you laugh turning to hop in the driver’s seat.

     “Yeah, but you love me” he grins wiggling his eyebrows at you.

     “These two things can coexist” you shrug slipping the car into drive pulling out of the parking lot.

     He just shakes his head at you before flicking on the radio and connecting his Bluetooth. “Hmm” he hums scanning through the generated playlists on his Spotify “shall we let the music gods choose what we listen to hmm” he asks

     “Hmm fuck it why not” you shrug pulling out onto the highway “who knows maybe I’ll discover a new song to get me through the next two weeks”

     “Who needs a new song when you’ll have me and I if anything am a ray of sunshine” Andrew grins wiggling his eyebrows at you.

     “You’re a ray of something that’s for sure” you laugh.

     “Oi” he gasps before falling into a deep belly laugh.

     You shoot him a toothy grin settling into a comfortable silence as you navigated your way through Maryland.

====

Roughly an hour later

     The tension in your body grew tighter and tighter with each mile that passed bringing you closer and closer to your hometown. Closer to childhood memories that you’d thought you’d put behind you when you finally jumped ship and moved to County Kerry.

     Andrew, feeling the tensions slowly building in your body reaches out to rest his hand on your thigh. Unsure of what to say he settled on trying to ground you in the only way he knew how, physical touch. Generally speaking, you had an aversion to touch but Andrew had such a calming effect on you that his touch never seemed to set you off if anything it soothed you.

     “How close are we” he hums absentmindedly brushing his thumb against your thigh.

     “Hmm about twenty more minutes and we’ll be at the hotel safely tucked away from my family” you reply absentmindedly “honestly if the cops still hide where they always hid, I can make it in ten” you laugh

     “ah yes my little speed demon” he chuckles peeping over at the speedometer grinning as he watches your speed rise “show off”

     “What can I say I have a need for speed” you laugh at your own jokes.   

     “Alright Lightning McQueen” he laughs.

     “Ka-chow Baby” you laugh winking at him.

     He barks out a laugh at your antics, his hand squeezing your thigh absentmindedly. “God, I love you” he murmurs looking over at you, mirth swimming in his swampy green eyes.

     “I know” you murmur chancing a glance over at him before refocusing on the road.

     You drive in companionable silence for a few minutes allowing the music to fill the silence. “Alex just sent me this song with a play this for Flower I think you’ll both love it message attached” Andrew piped up tapping at his phone screen.

     “Oh so he does love me” you sigh wistfully resting your hand on your chest.

     “I knew I was just a rebound” Andrew sighs dramatically.

     “As long as you know your place big guy” you shrug trying to hold back a shit eating grin.

     “With you…… Always” he winks before reaching out to turn the volume up playing the song.

     “Sap” you laugh, rolling your eyes at him.

     “Said I never believed in the mates of soul” a velvety smooth male voice fills the cab.

     Eventually you find yourself humming along to the song your fingers absentmindedly tapping the steering wheel. On the second play through you feel Andrew staring at you. “Can I help you” you ask chancing a glance over at him.

     “Nope” he says popping the P, continuing to gaze at you a look on contemplation in his swampy green eyes.

     “Are you just going to keep staring at me then” you sigh carding your hand through your hair nervously. Snicking on the turn signal taking the last exit before entering the town you were going to stay in for the next two weeks. “Welcome to Lancaster, Pennsylvania”

     “Wait I thought you were from Mt. Joy” he asks turning towards you.

     “Oh I am that’s twenty minutes northwest of here but the hotel I got is in Lancaster” you clarify “far enough away from my parents but close enough we won’t have to waste much gas driving back and forth” you shrug “plus I’ve always wanted an excuse to stay here” you grin wiggling your eyebrows at him before pulling into the hotel’s main drive.

     “Ah” he hums clicking his seatbelt off as you park the car in front the main entrance to the industrial looking redbrick building.

     “Listen they were running a sale for some reason, so I jumped at the chance to finally stay here” you shrug hoping out of the car your slip on rose skull vans thwacking against the red brick of the drive.

     “Fair enough” he shrugs wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you in to press a kiss to the top of your head. “C’mon lets get checked in so we can break in the room properly” he grins waggling his eyebrows at you.

     “God you’re such a man” you bark out a laugh slapping at his chest “there will be no room breaking in until I’ve had food, and I could KILL for some chick-fil-a” you shoot over your shoulder beating him to the front door holding it open for him. “Ladies first” you hum bowing dramatically towards him.

     “Why thank you kind sir” he replies in his best posh British accent before stepping into the hotel lobby.

     “Hello welcome to the Lancaster Arts Hotel checking in” the receptionist greets as you step up to the counter.

     “Hi yes ehm the reservation should be under Von Brandt” you hum smiling at the blond woman behind the counter.

     “Ophelia” the receptionist smiles questioningly at you.

     “Yep” you smile in reply.

     “Alright I’ll just need your credit card and a valid ID” she smiles at you.

     About fifteen minutes later once you’ve been checked in and the car has been properly parked. You make your way down the hall of the fourth floor towards your home for the next two weeks, room 462.

“There’s an art gallery attached to the hotel I figured we could check out some day Rainey would love this place” you hum swiping the key card before stepping into the room.

“Oh yeah” he murmurs stepping up behind you. He wraps his spindly arm around your waist burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “That sounds nice” he mumbles pressing his lips to your skin. “You sure we can’t just order in and have some fun whilst we wait you know as a stress reliever” he murmurs nipping at your shoulder.

“Hmm maybe I can be persuaded” you hum your hand not resting on top of his comes back to card into his auburn curls.

“Is that so” he hums pulling you flush against him as he trails kisses along your neck across your jaw.

“Mhm” you hum in reply rocking the two of you back and forth.

“God you smell amazing” he groans burrowing against the back of your neck his nose buried in your curls.

“Doubtful” you huff out a laugh. His hand finds its way under your shirt palming at your breast through the thin fabric of your lace bra. “Andy” you let out a pitiful whine as his hand not palming your breast finds it way into your sweatpants cupping you.

“Christ you’re so wet already” he groans against your shoulder blade his fingers pressed against your clit through the cotton of your panties.

“Fuck” you gasp grinding your hips against his fingers.

Removing his hand from your sweats he steps back from you. “Take off your clothes for me baby” he murmurs against the shell of your ear.

“Yes sir” you mumble pulling your t-shirt up over your head and tossing it into the corner of the room. Turning to face him you hook your thumbs into the waistline of your sweats, looking up at him before slipping them down your long legs.

“Christ” he groans palming at his already half hard cock through the fabric of his own sweats.

You grin up at him biting your lower lip you hook your thumbs into the strings of your bikini style underwear. “C’mere” you beckon backing up towards the king-sized bed.

“God I’d follow you into hell if you asked” he groans stalking towards you only to be cut off by the shrill sound of your little sister Maggie’s ringtone.

“Shit” you groan “I have to get that” you huff sliding from the bed to grab your phone out of your jeans pocket.

“Fuck” you hear Andrew groan softly as you franticly swipe the accept call button.

“Hey Love what’s going on” you hum down the line

“Are you…… are you here” she sobs down the line.

“Yeah Babe what’s going on” you ask the hair on the back of your neck standing on end as you frantically start tugging your sweats back on.

“Phelly she…… I……” she stutters sobs wracking her body.

“Take a deep breath for me Love” you murmur softly trying to remain calm and fight off your own fight or flight response as you hunt for your t-shirt. “C’mon Teddy in for three hold for five out for eight” you direct making eye contact with a concerned Andrew as you finally locate your shirt on the floor next to the jacuzzi in the corner of the room.

“C’mon kid I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on and you can’t tell me until you calm down” you stress sticking your phone on speaker so you can finish redressing yourself.

“Can you…… can you come get me it’s…… it’s mom” she hiccups finally. “she…… she was going to hit me Phel I…… I thought she was gonna smack me I was so scared” she whimpers down the line

“I’ll be there in twenty love hang tight lock yourself in your room keep your phone on you make sure Seb is out of the line of fire too” you reply trying to tame the shake in your voice.

"He’s…… he’s at a friend’s house this weekend” she mumbles.

“Ok love that’s good I’ll be there as fast as I can alright, I love you” you reply breathing a small sigh of relief that at least one of them was safe.

“Love…… love you too” she hiccups down the line before the line goes dead.

Turning to Andrew tears briming in your eyes “Bear I’m so sorry I’ve……” you sniffle.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for Sunflower” he murmurs pulling you in for a crushing hug.

Pulling back from his arms you allow him to wipe the tears from your cheeks giving yourself the few seconds necessary to lock your protective walls back into place. “I’ve gotta go get her she’s…… my mom’s……” you trail off unsure of what to tell him because you didn’t even know what happened. “I’m sorry” you mumble against his chest “Not even half an hour home and you’re already forced to deal with Nicole’s fucking bullshit”

“You don’t have to explain” he murmurs taking your hand in his larger one he presses a kiss to your knuckles reverent and sure. “You don’t have to apologize I’m just sorry you didn’t get a chance to get your bearings before shit hit the fan”

====

Twelve minutes later you pull into your mother’s driveway, having made it from Lancaster to Mt. Joy in record time due to your anxiety induced speeding. The car is barely in park before your running for the door.

“Ophelia” Andrew calls after you reaching over to shut off the car before slipping from his seat and chasing after you.

“GOD DAMN IT NICOLE YOU BETTER LET ME IN OR SO HELP ME FUCKING GOD” you scream pounding on the forest green metal of the front door to one of your childhood homes. “Andrew stay in the car I don’t want you to see this” you grunt twisting the doorknob agitatedly.

 “You don’t have to do this alone anymore” Andrew replies stepping up behind you on the front stoop of the house. “I’m not going to let you deal with this alone” he stresses.

“Andrew I-” you’re cut off by the front door whipping open.

“The fuck do you want” your mother growls eyes laser focused on your taller form.

“Mags called me I’m here to get her” you reply standing your ground. r spine straightening more when Andrews hand brushes against your lower back.

“News flash Ophelia she’s my daughter you don’t get to go running off to bumblefuck Ireland then come back with some strange man and take my daughter from me” she spits stepping into your space her face inches from yours.

“First of all back the fuck up Nicole” you snap Andrews presence behind you the only thing keeping you from getting physical with her. “Second of all she called me because she knew I would come for her because you made her feel unsafe”

“I did nothing but put her spoiled ungrateful ass in it’s place Ophelia she’s just a drama queen” Nicole scoffs rolling her eyes as she steps back from you crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

“What you did Nicole was raise your hand to your child and I will not stand for it” you hiss stepping towards her menacingly “You did it enough as is to Me, Emma and Delilah when we were kids” you spit before marching past her into the house “Andrew stay out here” you call over your shoulder

“Ophelia Rose get the fuck out of my house before I call the god damn cops and have you arrested for attempted kidnapping” your mother growls storming after you leaving a disorientated Andrew standing on the stoop.

“Where’s Grady” you ask ignoring her threat.

“That old piece of shit left me months ago something you’d know if you’d bother to call your fucking mother” she scoffs reaching out to grab at you.

“Good for him I’ll give him a call congratulate him on finally growing a spine and then tell him to take you for full custody of the kids because I have proof that you’re an unfit mother” you laugh menacingly turning to face her “now if you know what’s good for you Nicole you’d let go of my arm before I deck your ass” you hiss between clenched teeth

“If you leave with her I will call the cops” she threatens as you step into Maggie’s room.

“Phel” she cries slamming into you, wrapping you in a vice-like grip.

“Hi kid” you sigh pressing a quick kiss to her temple. “C’mon Andrew’s outside pack whatever you’ll need for tonight I’ll take you to your dad’s tomorrow we’ll get you out of this house and away from her for good yeah” you hum your heart racing inside of your chest as you try to fight off your trauma responses so you can focus on Maggie.

“Call the cops Nicole I don’t give a shit I’ll prove to them you almost physically assaulted your child that ought to speed up the custody battle for Grady” you taunt her “if you wish to have any sort of relationship with your youngest two children you will let me take her” you warn.

Taking a step back, her shoulders slump in defeat, your mother turns and walks down the hall taking a seat in the armchair facing the front door.

Five minutes later Maggie has a rough bag packed. You guide her out the door towards Andrew, placing yourself between your mother and her.

“Andrew take her to the car please I just need to do one more thing” you murmur absentmindedly before turning back towards the front door.

“Oh ehm alright just ehm be careful please I don’t wanna see you hurt more than your already are” he sighs leaning forward to grip your hand softly in reassurance.

“love you” you smile bittersweetly at him before stepping back into the house.

“A Chuisle mo Chroί” he murmurs after you. Turning towards your slightly less shaken sister he smiles reassuringly at her “Hi I’m sorry we had to meet this way but I’m Andrew” he greets extending his hand out towards her.

“Oh um Hi I’m Maggie Phelly’s little sister” she replies shaking his hand half awkwardly “but I um I guess you already know that” she laughs nervously.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Maggie I’ve heard so much about you” he smiles softly guiding her towards your rental car.

====

Back in the house

     “What more do you want” your mother sighs rolling her eyes as she takes a drag from her freshly lit cigarette.

     Grimacing at the smell of burning tobacco memories of glowing cigarette buds too close to bare skin for comfort flashing behind your eyes. “I wanted to come back in here and let you know that if I find out you so much as thought about raising another hand to either of those children, I will do everything within my power to ruin your life I will make you regret you ever had me do you understand”

     “I…… I understand Ophelia” she sighs tapping off the ash from the edge of the cigarette. “I understand that you have some weird savior complex, I understand that you think for some reason those two children are your responsibility” she continues taking a long drag looking you square in the eyes. “I also understand that they’re my children not yours”

     “If you really cared for those two children more than just the brownie points having children garners you, you wouldn’t even be able to so much as think about raising a hand to either of them” you hiss through clenched teeth. “I wouldn’t have had the childhood I had if you actually cared about your children, I wouldn’t have almost broken up with the love of my life because I was too scared he wouldn’t want me after I told him I won’t be able to give him children because I’m too afraid of turning into you to ever willingly have children” you spit jabbing your pointer finger in her direction.

     “Oh c’mon it wasn’t that bad you just have a victim complex and can’t take any responsibility for yourself and your own issues” she scoffs snubbing out the bud of the cigarette.

     “You know I always thought maybe if I put space between myself and your toxicity I could heal and maybe learn to move on from what you did hell I brought the love of life a man I would marry in a heartbeat if only he’d ask because I thought maybe he should meet my family since I have become so ingrained in his” you sigh carding your hand in your hair. “You know what’s crazy” you laugh your hands flying up into the air. “All I had to do to find a mother who actually cares for me the way a mother should care for her child was move across the Atlantic Ocean and away from you” pure malice dripping from your tongue as you finally let out twenty-five years’ worth of pent-up emotions.

     “Fucking leave then you already ran away once why not do it a second time” Nicole shrugs sitting back in the chair. “I really don’t understand why you came in the first place if you’re so happy over there why leave”

     “Because Nicole some part of me thought maybe just fucking maybe my family could be normal for two fucking weeks and maybe I could try and if not mend perhaps tentatively bridge the gap I have with you but all of this tonight makes me realize that’s not something that will ever happen because you’re too much of a narcissist to ever fucking change and ever think about anyone besides yourself” you wipe furiously at the angry tears pooling in your eyes. “I hope you for once in your life do what is best for your children and you let Grady have full custody of those two children and let them decide when and if you’re worthy of being in their life”

     “They’re my fucking children Ophelia” she scoffs standing from her chair.

     “They might have come from your body Nicole, but you never earned the title of mother” you hiss between clenched teeth. “One last thing before I leave” you say one hand on the doorknob poised to turn. “I need you to know that I wish to God I could find it in myself to be cold and unfeeling and stop loving you because that would be so much easier to live with but despite everything you put me through you’re still my mother and I still love you but I can’t have you in my life or the life of my children if I ever manage to trust myself enough to have them” you shutter a sudden weight lifting from your chest. “I will keep you in my life just enough to make sure those two kids are ok but outside of Mags and Seb I want nothing and I mean absolutely fucking nothing to do with you do you understand me”

     “Fine by me you ungrateful little cunt go run off with your little lap dog and play the perfect big sister when we both know you’re itching to leave her once again” Nicole spits waving her hands in the air angrily.

     “I never left her” you growl stabbing your pointer finger into your chest. “I keep in contact with her, I know more about her than you will ever know, I have never and will never abandon her do you understand Nicole” it took everything in you not to flinch when she raised her hand to strike you.

     “God you’re so easy” she laughs sarcastically bringing her hand back down to her side.

“You may have given birth to her and Sebastian, but Emma and I raised them Delilah would have too if she hadn’t moved out when she did” you continue ignoring her remark.

     “There you go with the victim shit again no one made you do anything you didn’t want to” she guffaws.

     “You’re always going to remember my life differently because it makes you feel better, so I’m done I’ve said my peace I refuse to waste any more energy on you” you sigh pinching the bridge of your nose you swing open the front door and march out drowning out the screams of your mother as you went. A shit eating grin spreading across your face the closer you got to the car. The closer you got to Andrew the lighter you felt. You hadn’t felt this free since you up and moved to Ireland five years ago.

     Hoping into the driver’s seat you give yourself a second to regroup before turning to check on Maggie, Andrew’s hand instinctively already holding yours. “Ready to go babes” you smile softly at her reaching back to brush her bangs behind her ear.

     “Yeah…… um are you ok” she asks in reply.

     “I’m alright darlin’” you hum softly in reply subtly squeezing Andrew’s hand reassuring him. “let’s get back to the hotel yeah” you hum turning back around to face the front.

     “I’m so proud of you” Andrew murmurs bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles.

     “A Chuisle mo Chroί Bear” you reply smiling sweetly at him.

     “A Chuisle mo Chroί” he replies smiling at your use of his mother tongue.

====

A week later

     Once you’d got back to your hotel that night you and Maggie crawled into the king-sized bed. Andrew being Andrew kissed your brow and tucked the two of you in. He understood that you needed this time with your sister he made himself comfortable on the couch for the night. The next day you’d taken Maggie out for breakfast before taking her to Grady’s. After speaking with Grady about what his next moves were and what had to be done for the safety and well-being of Maggie and Sebastian, you introduce Andrew to your stepfather Grady Finch. The two got along swimmingly something that made your heart flutter in your chest

An intense weight had been lifted from your shoulders since the conversation with your mother, a weight you didn’t realize was clouding so much of your life. After your visit with Grady, you’d taken Andrew sightseeing to your old haunts, showing him a side of you that you thought you’d left behind in Pennsylvania five years ago.

Five days into your trip you’d taken him to visit your paternal grandparents Mary and Arthur Von Brandt. Andrew turned up the charm and won them over in minutes. Leaving just your father and stepmother before you could finally go home.

     Andrew knew you needed time to come to terms with everything that went down on your first night back in Pennsylvania. Logically he knew that, but he was concerned with how fast you seemed to bounce back, almost like you’d put up a wall the second you stepped out of that blue ranch style house.

     You knew you needed to talk to him about it, you just weren’t sure how you felt about it yet. On one hand you felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders a weight you’d been carrying around for years. On the other hand you just told your mother you wanted nothing to do with her anymore and it felt that a part of your soul had been ripped out.

     “You know you can talk to me Sour Patch” Andrew murmurs his fingers ghosting gently up and down your spine as you lay naked in bed. You were three days away from going back Ireland, three days away from going back to your sanity.

     “I know Bear” you murmur pressing a soft kiss to the center of his chest your fingers lazily drawing patterns into the soft skin of his pec.

     “Alright I just…… I worry for you deciding to go no contact with your mother is no easy decision and you ehm…… you seem so unbothered by it” He sighs bending his neck to look down at you.

     “I…… I’m not unbothered by it I just…… you go through the shit that I’ve lived through you learn to compartmentalize” you sigh sitting up your bare back to him. “When I’m ready to discuss it, I promise I will come to you but right now I need to not think about it and get through tonight so all I have to worry about is going home to our boys” you add turning back to look at him. “I just want to get back to our life”

     “Alright I’m sorry I pushed I just ehm…… I’m out of my depths here and all I want is your happiness” Andrew murmurs sitting up resting his chin on your shoulder.

     “It’s alright and I love you for it you just have to let me work through it in my own way yeah” you murmur resting your head against his.

     “I love you too take all the time you need I’ll be right here whenever you’re ready” he hums in reply placing a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. “Now what do you say we laze about for a little bit longer before getting around for dinner tonight because as excited as I am to meet your siblings I’m dreading meeting your father” Andrew laughs softly tugging you back to lay on the bed once more.

     “Hmm I’d have to say that’s arguably one of your best ideas this whole trip Mr. Hozier-Byrne” you giggle softly curling back into his comforting warmth.

     “Hey a broke clock is right at least twice a day” he shrugs pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

     “This is true” you yawn your eyes involuntarily closing as you snuggle further into his warmth.

     “Get some rest love” he murmurs pressing another kiss to your brow his fingers trailing along your spine lulling you back to sleep.

====

That evening

     You’d lazed about in bed till around three before hoping in the shower to start getting ready for dinner with your father, his wife and two of your older sisters and their partners.

     “Alright lets get this shit done and over with so we can get back here and just relax” you sigh wrapping your arms around his neck.

     “It’s gonna be alright Love” he murmurs leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “we’ll go have dinner have a good time then come back to the hotel and just relax until our flight on Friday”

     “Can we just time jump to Friday evening” you sigh stepping back from him.

     “Baby if I could do that for you I would” he smiles softly at you. Kissing your forehead once more, he slips past you to open the hotel room door.

     “I know I’m just being dramatic because I’m dreading this” you sigh smiling sweetly at him as you step across the threshold into the hall.

     “It’ll be alright love I’ll be right beside you the whole time” he murmurs wrapping his arm around your waist as you make your way down the hall.

     “I know and I love you for it” you sigh resting your head against his shoulder while you wait for the elevator.

====

Half an hour later

     Shutting the engine off you stare out into the backyard of your childhood home. The old walnut tree still standing tall the remnants of the tire swing your dad built when you were small still hanging from the protruding limb.

     “Ready Sour Patch” Andrew murmurs turning to look at you.

     “Hmm oh um…… yeah” you mumble blinking yourself out of your reverie. Collecting yourself you step from the vehicle nervously flattening your sundress.

     “I’m here Love I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere” Andrew murmurs stepping up to your side taking one of your hands in his he kisses the back of it.

     “Yep” you shutter out taking a deep breath before walking down the cement foot path toward the door.

     “Just breath love” Andrew murmurs pulling you in to kiss your forehead reaching out to ring the doorbell.

     “Easier said than done” you sigh putting on a brave face as your stepmother Isobel answers the door.

     “Ophelia” she greets a sickeningly sweet smile plastered to her face. “And who might this be” she hums turning to face Andrew.

     “Isobel” you smile white knuckling Andrew’s hand with yours “This is Andrew, Andrew this is my stepmother Isobel”

     “Hi it’s nice to meet you” Andrew smiles extending his free hand to shake hers.

     “I should thank you for dragging Ophelia home I swear she forgets we exist half the time” Isobel jokes daintily shaking Andrews hand before stepping back welcoming you into the house.

     “I wonder why I try to forget you exist” you mutter under your breath so only you and Andrew can hear.

     “Dad” you call stepping into the living room only to be jumped on by your parents German Shepard “Goose” you squealed cupping the dogs cheeks pressing a kiss to her nose. “Hi baby yes I missed you oh yes I missed you” you baby talk scratching at the dog soft black and brown fur. “I brought you a friend” you hum reaching back for Andrew “Goose this is Andy, Andy I’d like you to meet Goose”

     “Hello Goose aren’t you just a pretty lady” he hums extending his hand so she can sniff him first.

     “Phelly Bug” your father calls stepping into the room.

     “Dad” you hum happily stepping away from your boyfriend and his new best friend Goose to hug your father. “Hi” you breath out burrowing into his chest. Your dad was a big bear of a man and despite everything that happened in your childhood you couldn’t help but feel some sense of comfort in his arms.

     “Missed you Bug” he murmurs pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

     “Missed you too Dad” you mumble against his chest.

     “Who’s the tall man with my dog” he asks gruffly.

     “Oh um Dad this is Andrew; Andrew this is my father Frederick” you hum stepping back from your fathers embrace.

     “He……hello Mr. Von Brandt it’s nice to ehm it’s nice meet you” Andrew stutters standing to reach his hand out towards your father.

     “Mmm” your dad hums sizing Andrew up. Despite being two inches shorter than Andrew, your father outweighed him in muscle mass.

     “Be nice” you warn raising your eyebrow at him.

     “I am being nice but you’re my youngest I’m allowed to size him up” your father grumbles in reply.

     “Are Emma and Delilah here yet” you ask quickly changing the subject.

     “Yeah they’re out on the back porch with Mark and Maria” he nods towards the back door.

     “C’mon Andy come meet my older sisters and their partners” you hum dragging him from the room.

     “Christ you didn’t warn me your Dad was so scary” Andrew breaths as you drag him through the dining room and kitchen to the door leading out to the back porch.

     “He’s not that intimidating to me so I guess I didn’t think about it sorry baby” you murmur turning around to kiss his cheeks.

     “It’s alright” he smiles softly down at you.

     Turning, you open the back door stepping onto the porch with Andrew following directly behind “Hey bitches” you greet

     “Oh so she moves to Ireland and suddenly it’s ok to call us slurs” Delilah scoffs rolling her eyes playfully at you.

     “The audacity” Emma chimes.

     “I called you bitches before I moved, and you damn well know it” you laugh.

     “Hey shithead” Mark, Delilah’s husband, greets you holding his arms out wide for a hug.

     “Hey dickhead” you reply stepping into his embrace.

     “Oi you can’t just show up with a random tall man and not tell us who he is” Maria, Emma’s partner, chimes in from her place in the corner of the porch.

     “Oh shit sorry this is Andrew my boyfriend” you say stepping back and wrapping your arm around Andrews waist. “Andy this is Delilah and Emma my older sisters and Emma’s partner Maria and dipshit here is Delilah’s husband Mark”

     “Oh ehm hi” Andrew waves awkwardly at them.

     “Nice to meet you man” Mark greets sticking his hand out to shake Andrew’s.

     “Likewise” Andrew nods.

====

About twenty minutes later.

     You’d sat outside in the cool June evening air catching up with your sisters and their partners, allowing time for Andrew to get to know them.

     Eventually you move back inside to the dining room for dinner. Andrew sits to your right Mark, to your left you Isobel and your dad at the heads of the table while Maria, Emma and Delilah sat across from you.

     “So” Isobel hums after a few minutes of silent eating.

     “So…” you Emma, and Delilah all chime at once.

     “Andrew…” she directs causing you to tense up involuntarily.

     “Mrs. Von Brandt” he says turning to address your stepmother.

     “Isobel please” she smiles sickeningly sweet at him causing you and your sisters to make eye contact a silent conversation passing between the three of you. “How long have you known our Ophelia”

     “Oh ehm my best mate actually introduced us at one of my gigs about what five years ago now” Andrew answered around a bite of Salisbury steak.

     “Well four years and a handful of months because Sue didn’t introduce Alex and I still I was there for about two months and then your gig wasn’t for another month or so” you hum nervously resting your hand on his thigh to keep you from rubbing your skin raw from anxiety.

     “Oh shit yeah you’re right ehm bit of ehm time blindness” Andrew laughs.

     “God don’t remind me” you laugh patting his thigh.

     “Oh our Ophelia is neurotic when it comes to timelines and schedules” Isobel smiles.

     You flinch slightly at the possessive term Andrew rests his hand on top of yours reassuringly. “I just like to be on time but you know as well as I that I live with the knowledge that the other day could be any day between today and my birth” you laugh awkwardly.

     “You were always bad at that when we were kids” Delilah smirks sitting back in her seat.

     “You’re right sorry I guess I would remember that if you called to talk to your father and I more often” Isobel sighs.

     “I’m sorry I have a lot going on at home I don’t have the time to call every week” you reply pushing your food away from you suddenly too nauseous to eat.

     “But see here’s the thing you don’t seem too busy to call your grandparents or your sisters but somehow you’re too busy to call your father and me the woman who stepped up to act as your mother when your own mother couldn’t be bothered half the time” Isobel scoffs folding her hands in front of her face her elbows resting on the table.

     Your eyes flick between Emma and Delilah, both of which look disappointed but not surprised by the sudden turn of the night. “Don’t come at me with that shit Isobel” you scoff your hand carding in your hair from frustration.

     “Ophelia” your dad warns.

     “No dad I’m done I’ve realized something since moving to Ireland” you snap “It’s shit like this why I couldn’t wait to fucking put a whole god damn ocean between myself and you guys hell the day we landed I had to go fight Nicole for Maggie and that made me realized that I’ve finally had enough and I don’t deserve this shit anymore hell I never deserved it neither did Emma or Delilah” your frustration rising with each word.

     “Oh here we go again Ophelia is going to wax poetic about how shitty her childhood was here when if you ask Lily or Aaron who unfortunately couldn’t be here tonight because their work schedules couldn’t be moved around at the whim of Princess Ophelia” Isobel laughs bitterly. “They’ll tell you their childhood wasn’t all that bad”

     “Oh yes because my month notice to have at least one night off so I could see my siblings that I haven’t seen in over a year wasn’t enough time for them to request a night off but of course your precious children can do no wrong” you scoff “do you wanna know why I don’t call you and dad that often Isobel hmm do you”

     “Oh I’d love to hear what pathetic little woe is me excuse you can come up with” She scoffs waving her hands at you to continue.

     Instinctively Andrew’s hand finds its way to your thigh trying to comfort you. “Breath” he murmurs softly under his breath to you.

     You squeeze his hand in silent reply. “I don’t call because every conversation with you drains me emotionally, I have to have a social battery around you even with a whole fucking ocean between us” you reply holding back tears, you refused to cry.

     “Ah yes the WebMD diagnosis well some of us have real problems and actually struggle with mental health Ophelia but thanks for trying” Isobel scoffs.

     “Right well I’m done so Andy lets um let’s just uh let’s just go” you stutter standing from the table tears pooling in your eyes.

     “Alright love” Andrew murmurs standing with you.

     “Oh there goes the big baby leaving instead of having an adult conversation” Isobel mocks

     “Oh c’mon on Isobel stop being such a raging bitch” Delilah snaps suddenly standing from the table the sound of chair legs scraping across the floor echoing in the room.

     “Oh look big sister Delilah fighting Ophelia’s battles once more” Isobel scoffs rolling her eyes.

     “C’mon Mark lets go” Delilah sighs standing to follow you and Andrew out the door.

     “I hope you’re happy you alienated Ophelia more than she already was Isobel” Emma sighs standing from the table as well Maria following behind wordlessly.

     “Can you believe this” Isobel scoffs once you’ve all left.

     “Just…… shut up for once in your Isobel” Frederick snaps slamming his palms down on the table before silently stalking after you.

====

Outside

     “I’m sorry you had to witness that Bear” you hiccup having finally calmed down from your panic attack.

     “Hey sorry we didn’t step in sooner Phel” Emma calls coming down the walk to where you and Andrew were standing huddled together.

     "Yeah, we should’ve put an end to it before she got out of hand” Delilah agrees.

     “it’s not your fault that she is well Isobel” you sigh turning in Andrews arms to face them your hands still wrapped securely around his waist your head still pressed firmly to his chest.

     “I guess that’s fair” Emma sighs stuffing her hands in her pockets.

     “Phelly Bug” Frederick calls stepping out onto the front porch.

     “With all due respect Mr. Von Brandt, I think Ophelia has dealt with enough already tonigh” Andrew calls tightening his hold on you.

     “It’s alright Bear” you murmur cupping his cheek pressing a quick kiss to his lips before turning to step towards your father. “Dad” you murmur.

     “Phel I…” he starts

     “No let me say this first” you cut him off raising your hand to stop him. “I’ve cut contact with Nicole and honestly after tonight I can’t find a reason to not do the same to you and Isobel I really wanted to come here and introduce you to Andrew and have a good night but I’m not going to sit in there and explain why I’ve done the things I’ve had to do for my own wellbeing be that physical or mental every choice I’ve made since turning eighteen has been for the betterment of me and if I have to cut contact with you to keep the peace that I have so carefully carved out for myself in Ireland then by God I will cut you out” you continue pinching the bridge of your nose between your thumb and pointer finger.

     “I…… I guess I deserve that” Frederick sighs. “If that’s what you need to do then I guess I will try my best to respect your wishes just know that I love you no matter what Bug”

     “I love you too Dad and this is by no means an easy decision for me to make but it is one that I have to make” you sniffle wiping at the tears slipping down your cheeks.

     “C’mere” he sighs holding his arms out for you to step into his embrace.

     “I do love you Dad I just don’t love the choices you’ve made and how they make me feel” you murmur against his chest.

     He sighs in reply knowing that there was nothing he could say that would make it any better. “Take care Dad” you sigh smiling bittersweetly at your father stepping back from his embrace towards Andrew.

     “You too kiddo” he sighs

     “Alright I’ve had enough from today I love you all we’ll have to have you out to Ireland sometime to visit but I really want to go back to our hotel and just rot before getting our flight home” you sigh hugging each of your siblings and their respective partners.

     “We love you too” they all chime at once.

     “It was nice meeting you Andrew” Maria hums from her place at Emma’s side.

     “Yeah it was nice meeting you I’m sorry you had to witness the worst part of this family” Emma agreed.

     “Nah it’s alright I’m just glad to know Ophelia had someone in her corner before me” Andrew nods popping open your door for you. Once you’re seated he shuts your door before making his way into the passenger seat. Pulling out of the drive you honk your horn once before focusing on the road ahead.

====

Back at the hotel.

     As soon as you got back you wordlessly stripped down to just your panties and an old t-shirt before crawling under the covers. Following your lead Andrew strips to just his boxers and his pajama shirt before crawling in behind you.

     “Penny for you thoughts” he murmurs pressing a kiss to your shoulder, his hand snaking its way under your shirt flattening against your sternum holding you flush against him.

     “I’m just thinking about getting home to our babies and how I can’t wait for my monthly dinner date with Rainey and Sue next week” you sigh pressing back into him. “I just want to get back to our life and put all of this shit as far behind me as I possibly can”

     “Well if it makes you feel any better we can just vegetate in here for the next three days” Andrew hums nuzzling against you.

     “Sounds perfect” you sigh “Now lets get some sleep I’m exhausted”

     “Sleep well Darling” he murmurs pressing a soft kiss to your jawline “I love you”

     “Mmm love you too bear” you mumble already half asleep.

====

Present day October 2020

     After you’d gotten Aoibhe back to sleep with her faithful guardians watching over her, you and Andrew headed back to bed. Managing to pull off another four hours of sleep before soft incoherent babbling crackled over the speakers of the baby monitor pulling you from your slumber.

     “Mmm the spawn is awake” you mumble sleepily rolling into Andrew’s bare chest.

     “Ngh” he grunts in reply turning to burrow his nose into your hair, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist. Refusing to open his eyes because he knew he wouldn’t be going back to sleep once he did.

     “I’ve gotta get up my tits are killing me” you groan trying to roll out of his arms.

     “Mmm I can solve that” he mumbles sleepily pressing kisses along your jaw.

     “Mmm as nice as that sounds, I’d like to actually breast feed our daughter this morning instead of using that infernal pump” you hum leaning your head up to kiss his lips.

     “I wasn’t talking about using the pump” Andrew mumbled against your lips.

     “Oh trust me babe I know” you laugh cupping his cheek. “Maybe later Mama wants to have a glass of wine at dinner tonight and I don’t want to use that fucking pump if I don’t have to”

     “Hmm fine” he sighs releasing you from his hold.

     “Thank you” you laugh kissing the tip of his nose before rolling out of bed.

     “Mmm álainn” he murmurs softly to himself watching as you pull his button up pajama shirt from the back of his desk chair slipping it over your head.

     “Sap” you laugh turning back towards the bed hands on your hips showing off your pale blue boyshort style panties.

     “It’s not my fault that the morning sun solely exists to accentuate your natural beauty” he shrugs standing from the bed coming up to wrap his arms around your waist. “I’m just grateful I get to witness it”

     “God I thought you were a sap before but I fear fatherhood has just made you worse” you laugh kissing his lips softly.

     “Yeah but you love it” he smiles goofily at you.

     “Mmm never said I didn’t” you murmur nipping at his nose before slipping from his arms. “Now I really must go take care of the spawn before she becomes the spawn of Satan” you laugh

     “Ah yes but she’s our little spawn of Satan” he calls after you.

====

     “Do I smell bacon” you hum stepping into the kitchen a short while later shirt hanging open with your daughter suckling contently at your breast.

     “And sausage and French toast” Andrew hums turning to kiss your lips. “Good morning Darling” he murmurs leaning down to press a kiss to your daughters head.

     Aoibhe lets out a soft disgruntled noise slapping at your breast. “I don’t think she appreciated the interruption Dad” you laugh softly.

     “Six months old and she already has the attitude of a teenager” he scoffs focusing back on making breakfast.

     “What are we going to do when she is a teenager” you sigh sitting down at the breakfast bar.

     “We won’t have to worry about that she’s going to stay my sweet little baby forever” Andrew says matter of factly.

     “Oh is that right” you laugh.

     “Mmm” Aoibhe hums slapping at your breast impatiently.

     “Oh I’m so sorry your highness are you ready to switch boobies” you laugh at her antics as you adjust her to feed from your other breast.

     “She’s a lass that knows what she wants” Andrew shrugs flipping the last piece of French toast onto the plate.

     “Knock knock” Maggie calls stepping into your kitchen.

     “Jesus Christ” you yelp jumping in your seat. “I regret giving you the passcode and a key to this house sometimes” you sigh.

     “Ah but then you’d miss me” she grins goofily at you.

     “Yeah but I wouldn’t miss my privacy” you scoff.

     “Privacy smivacy” she shrugs “Morning Andy” she grins leaning up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek in greeting.

     “Morning Mags” he laughs “How’s school”

     Once Maggie turned eighteen and graduated high school, she moved to Ireland to pursue her college degree in history at Trinity. With her being a short train ride away from your house in Wicklow you and Andrew gave her a key so she could watch over the place while you’re off on tour with Andrew. She was now in her senior year of college with plans to go back for her masters to hopefully become a professor.

     “Oh you know, well come to think of it I guess you wouldn’t cause you’re a drop out” she shrugs sitting down across from you at the breakfast bar.

     “Yeah well who’s the famous musician” Andrew snarks sticking his tongue out at her.

     “Puhleeeease you got lucky” she laughs.

     “These two things can be true at the same time” Andrew shrugs sitting a plate of food in front of both you and Maggie before taking his own seat beside you.

     “Thank you baby” you murmur leaning over to kiss his lips before popping a bite of French toast in your mouth.

     “Course” he hums reaching over to cup the back of Aoibhe’s head lovingly.     

     “God you two are so sweet it makes me physically ill” Maggie groans stuffing bacon into her mouth.

     “God me too and I’m the one in the relationship” you laugh.

     “I don’t know whether or not to be offended” Andrew scoffs rolling his eyes.

     “Ah but you chose me and my cynical outlook” you smile scrunching your nose at him.

     “Babe puhleeeease we’re both cynics” he laughs.

     “This is true” you nod.

     “Mmm ba” Aoibhe mumbles slapping happily at your chest.

     “C’mere Peaches” Andrew hums reaching over to bring Aoibhe into his lap so you can fix your shirt and eat with both hands.

     “Mmm” she hums face planting into Andrew’s chest.

     “Goofy grape” you laugh reaching over to tweak her foot.

     “She comes by it honestly” Andrew laughs “that’s also your favorite place to rest”

     “It’s a comfy place” you shrug stuffing the last of your breakfast in your mouth.

     “Yes well if you’re done with your sickeningly sweet shit I thought I could kidnap my sister for the day” Maggie says clapping her hands in front of her face.

     “Oh I don’t know” you sigh.

     “I think that’s a perfect idea” Andrew nods “Don’t you Peaches let Mama take the day off maybe go to the city for a little bit you and I will go over and bother Uncle Alex and maybe we can convince Uncle Stevie out of his gaff for a bit I don’t think that man can say no to your little face” he hums pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

     “Yeah Phelly let the man take Aoibhe for the day we can go do some shopping get some lunch and I’ll have you back in time for dinner at Rainey and Johnny’s tonight” Maggie states matter of factly taking her dishes and yours to the sink.

     “Alright alright but please don’t corrupt my baby while I’m gone” you sigh standing from the table.

     “Me corrupt Aoibhe never” Andrew scoffs “We’re just gonna teach her that he Uncle Alex is part colonizer and that he needs to know his place” he shrugs “isn’t that right Peaches”

     “Alright well that’s fine someone’s gotta remind him of his place” you nod “I’m gonna go get dressed”

     “Give me the baby” Maggie demands holding out her hands.

     “God you’re just as demanding as Ophelia” Andrew rolls his eyes handing Aoibhe across the breakfast bar.

     “Meh” she shrugs “Hi baby” Maggie squeals booping the tip of Aoibhe’s nose.

====

Twenty minutes later

     “Alright give me my baby I wanna love on her before we leave” you call coming into the living room arms outstretched.

     “See how she’s not even worried about me anymore” Andrew sighs dramatically.

     “Oh hush you’re my partner this is my baby I made her” you roll your eyes at him playfully slapping his shoulder before pulling Aoibhe into your arms.

     “I suppose I can’t argue with that” he shrugs kissing your forehead “And she’s perfect”

     “That she is” you smile kissing her chubby little cheeks pulling the sweetest little giggle from her.

     “Alright let’s get going Phel” Maggie claps “give the man his baby she’ll be here when we get back”

     “Alright alright bye my baby” you sigh kissing her one last time before handing her off to Andrew.

     “Do I atleast get a kiss before you go” Andrew whines dramatically.

     “Oh my god you act like I would forget you” you roll your eyes leaning up to kiss his lips softly. “Love you be good” you murmur against his lips.

     “I’m always good” he scoffs “I love you too”

====

Later that night

     After dropping Maggie back off at her apartment in Dublin you went home to get ready for your weekly dinner at Raine and John’s house.

     “C’mon Andrew we’re going to be late” you called down the hall Aoibhe sitting on your hip chewing away at a teething toy. “I swear to god your Daddy is going to be the death of me with his time blindness” you sigh kissing her head as you pace the living room.

     “I’m coming I’m coming sorry I couldn’t find my fucking watch” he sighs jogging down the hall as he fastens his watch to his wrist.

     “It’s fine you just know I hate being late to shit” you sigh accepting his kiss to your cheek

     “Perk of living like two minutes down the road” he shrugs opening the front door for you.

     “Yeah but it’s a nice night and I wanted to walk there” you sigh stepping out the door.

     “We still have time we can still walk to their house we’re not running that late I promise” Andrew replies following you down the dirt path that connected your house and his parents home.

     “That’s only because I lied and told you dinner was earlier than it actually is” you grin wiggling your eyebrows at him.

     “Do you hear her Aoibhe your Mam’s playing me like a fiddle” he gasps

     “Yeah and you love it” you grin winking at him.

====

Fifteen minutes later

     “Rainey” you call stepping into Andrew’s childhood home. “Johnny”

     “In here Honey” Raine calls from the kitchen.

     Slipping off your vans at the door you make your way further into the house.

     “There’s my Duckie” Raine squeals pressing a kiss to your cheek before taking your daughter from your arms. “Hello Honey”

     “Hi Mama Rainey” you grin “Where’s Johnny” you hum.

     “He’s in his chair in the living room dear you leave this one to me” Raine replies accept Andrew kiss to the cheek.

     “Hi Ma” he murmurs

     “Hi Bunny” she replies reaching up to pat his cheek.

     “I’m gonna go say hi to your father babe” you tell him squeezing his bicep before turning toward the living room leaving Andrew and his mother to conspire amongst themselves in your absence.

     “Hello Sweetheart, how are you” John greets from his place in his armchair by the hearth.

     “Hi Johnny” you grin bending down to give him a hug.

     “How are you dear” he hums

     “I’m good I just got my latest book back for proofing so that’s always great but now I have to find the time around taking care of Aoibhe to proofread it” you reply curling up at the end of the couch facing John.

     “Well if you ever need Raine and I to watch her we’d be delighted to have her over” John smiles “Gotta make sure that lad is doing his fair share of the work too”

     “Oh I swear sometimes I have to fight him to let me help with her she’s got him wrapped around her little finger I swear to god” you laugh.

     “I mean can you blame me she’s fucking adorable” Andrew defends coming into the living room. “Plus, it doesn’t help that she looks just like her Mam”

     “Sap” you laugh rolling your eyes at his antics.

     “Speaking of where is my grandbaby” John chimes in.

     “Mam wouldn’t give her back so you’ll have to take that up with her” Andrew shrugs “but dinner should be ready soon anyways”

     “I swear that woman would steal her if she could” you laugh.

     “Don’t go putting that thought in her head” John laughs.

====

30 minutes later

     “Dinner was delicious Rainey” you hum leaning back in your seat “God I think I ate too much” you groan.

     “That’s when you know the meal was good” Raine laughs “thank you honey”

     “I’m gonna take Aoibhe up to Andy’s old room to feed her before she gets fussy, she’s been going through a cluster feeding phase again and is refusing real food” you sigh standing from the table and pulling Aoibhe from her highchair.

     “Do you mind if I come with you dear” Raine asks.

     “I was actually going to ask you that I have something I wanna talk with you about” you reply.

     “Perfect” Raine hums.

====

     Up in Andrew’s old room you sat back against the headboard eyes closed as Aoibhe fed. “Nicole called me the other day” you blurt out.

     “Oh and how did that go” Raine asks sitting beside you her head turned to face you.

     “She’s in the phase were she’s playing the whole I’ve changed can’t you give your mother a second chance I just want to be in your life you know all that bullshit” you sigh brushing the back of your pointer finger along Aoibhe’s chubby little cheek. “I just…… after having Aoibhe hell simply finding out I was pregnant with Aoibhe I realized I couldn’t imagine living with myself doing anything she or Isobel did to me and my siblings”

     “Unfortunately Honey some people have kids when they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near children, I’m just sorry you had to be one of those children born to that type of person” Raine sighs “But the fact that you recognize that you could never do that to your child just shoes that you’re going to be an amazing mother”

     “God, I hope you’re right Rainey” you sniffle resting your head on her shoulder.

     “I know I’m right Love I think I’d know if my daughter was fit for motherhood or not” Raine murmurs pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.

     “Rainey why couldn’t you have raised me” you sigh sniffling softly.

     “I wish I could’ve kept you from the childhood you had” she sighs resting her cheek against the top of your head “But then you never would have started dating Andrew and we wouldn’t have Miss Aoibhe Raine here and you wouldn’t be the kindhearted stubborn and strong woman I so willingly call my daughter because you might not have come from me, but I love you like a daughter and I’m beyond proud of who you are and how hard you’ve worked to get yourself here”

     “I love you too Mama Rainey” you sniffle laughing softly when Aoibhe smacks her tiny palm against your chest.

     “She’s telling you she loves you” Raine laughs softly

     “I love you too Little Bear” you sniffle softly.

====

     Once Aoibhe was fed you handed her over to Raine to fix your clothes before you head back downstairs.

     “Andy” you call out finding the downstair empty.

     “John” Raine calls coming up behind you. “Maybe they went out back” she suggests walking towards the backdoor.

     “It is a surprisingly nice night” you nod following after her. Stepping through the back door you find the entire backyard filled with twinkling faerie lights while Stevie Wonder’s Sugar played through a portable speaker. “What’s going on” you murmur turning to Raine.

     “Give me Duckie” Raine hums instead of answering your question. “C’mere to Granny” she smiles sweetly, taking Aoibhe into her arms before guiding you down into the yard.

     Making your way further into the yard you find pictures of you and Andrew hanging from the faerie lights. Stepping up to one of the photos you find a poem written on the back it was one he’d written for you after finding out you were pregnant. “Andy” you choke out moving to the next photo.

     “Ophelia” he calls softly.

     “Oh” you gasp tearfully turning to find him down on one knee in the middle of the faerie lights surrounded by more photos of your story of your life together. Your hand coming up to cover your mouth as tears pool in your eyes. “Andy I…… I actually um I bought a ring I was going to ask you when we got home tonight” you let out a watery laugh pulling out a men’s wedding ring made of a black silver with leaf engravings around the band a small princess cut moss agate stone set along the inside of the band. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an engagement ring, so I bought your wedding band” you shrug shakily stepping towards him kneeling in front of him.

     “It’s perfect you’re perfect” he laughs “If you ehm if you don’t mind, I’ve been practicing this speech for weeks” he stutters nervously.

     “No please” you nod wiping at your tears.

     “Dove I’m obviously going to say yes hell I’ve been carrying this ring in my pocket since you told me you were pregnant with Aoibhe I’ve just been waiting for the perfect moment to ask you, I’ve only recently realized that every moment with you is the perfect moment and I’m just too much of a chicken to ask you” he chuckles tears already pouring down his face. “I know I say love at first sight is too sweet to be savory but some part of my soul knew the minute I laid eyes on you in that dingy pub seven years ago that one day I’d end up here on one knee begging you to marry me, because for some unknown reason I am lucky enough that you would choose a man so beneath you to love and build a life with” he hiccupped sniffling slightly “I find my place between your arms, I find my place between your tender kisses, I find it in the soft whispers of it will be alright that you press against my head on my bad days, I find it in the warmth of your embrace and the scent of your neck, I find home in the fierceness of your touch, my soul finds it’s place lost inside of yours” he shutters barely managing to hold back a sob. “And as James Joyce once wrote your love has passed through me and now I feel my mind something like an opal that is full of strange uncertain hues and colours of warm lights and quick shadows and of broken music” he sniffles leaning into your touch as you reach up to wipe his cheeks. “On ehm on that note will you Ophelia Rose Von Brandt marry me”

     “Oh my god yes” you laugh tears pouring down you face as you pull him in for a deep kiss.

     Resting your forehead against his, both of your hands shaking as he slips a beautiful black silver engagement ring cut to look like vines wrapped around one another, with small aquamarine stones scattered intermittently between the leaves, a pear cut moss agate stone at the center.

     “Do you hear that Duckie Mama and Daddy are getting married” you hear Raine murmur.

     Turning to see your daughter happily chewing on her favorite duck plushie her head contently resting against Raine’s shoulder.

     “I love you so much” you sniffle shakily kissing Andrews lips.

     “I love you too Dove” he murmurs “now lets go celebrate”

     “Rainey did you know” you laugh stepping into her embrace.

     “A mother always knows of course I did” Raine laughs kissing your cheek.

     “Congrats son” John smiles pulling his son down for a hug.

     “Now you two we’ve got Aoibhe for the night Andrew already dropped a bag for her this afternoon we’ve got everything the little darling could need go on home have a night just the two of you celebrate the engagement we love you” John says taking your outstretched hand.

     “Now off with you I will take no argument” Raine says holding up her hand before you can say anything.

     “Thank you” you sniffle kissing John’s cheek.

====

     After saying your tearful good-byes to Aoibhe, you thank Raine and John once more before heading home.

     The door is barely closed before you have Andrew up against the wall your hands buried in his hair as your tongues battle for dominance. “God I love you” you moan against him. 

     “Christ I love you too” he breaths hands tugging at the hemline of your shirt pulling it up over your head.

     “Bedroom” you purr tugging at his belt.

     “God I thought you’d never ask” he groans. Grabbing at your hips he hoists you up into his arms before carrying you down the hall towards your bedroom his lips never leaving your skin.

     Stepping into the bedroom he tosses you on the bed “Andrew” you squeal bouncing in the center of the bed.

     He lets out a bark of a laugh before peeling his shirt over his head, making quick work of his socks and shoes before slipping off yours for you. “Fiancé it’s got a nice ring to it doesn’t it” he murmurs pressing a kiss to your stomach.

     “Ophelia Hozier-Byrne has an even better one” you hum biting your bottom lip.

     “Mmm that it does” he breaths against the soft plump flesh of your stomach making his way up to your breasts. His hands make their way to the waistline of your shorts making quick work of the buttons before pulling them down your legs. “Now I wonder if you taste any different as my fiancé” he murmurs trailing kisses down your midsection making his way to your blue cotton panties.

     “Please” you whine arching off the bed as he hooks his thumbs in the waistline of your panties tugging them down your legs.

     “So impatient” he tsks nipping at your hip bones. “So needy” he hums pressing a kiss to the mound at the apex of your thighs.

     “Want you” you whine tugging at his hair.

     “You have me forever” he murmurs brushing his thumb against your engagement ring.

     “Forever” you murmur in reply.

     Leaning forward he presses his tongue flat against your entrance groaning at the taste of you. “Fuck” you gasp carding your hand in his hair once more.

     Sucking your clit into his mouth Andrew presses a finger into your warm wet heat curling it to press against your g-spot. Pumping his fingers in and out of you he nips at your clit pulling a strangled groan from you.

     “Andy I……” you gasp tugging at his hair. “Fuck I want you”

     “You have me” he grins devilishly up at you from between your legs.

     “No I want your cock” you purr.

     “Mmm I suppose only because you asked so nicely” he hums kissing his way up your body once more taking your lips with his.

     Your hands find their way to his belt once more, tugging it free from his jeans, making quick work of his button and zipper you shove at his jeans. “Off” you demand

     Laughing Andrew stands shucking his jeans and boxers off in one go before crawling back onto the bed.

“Condom” you breath fisting his cock giving him an experimental tug.

“Christ” he hisses dropping his head to your shoulder. “You’re gonna fuck… you’re gonna have to let go Christ…… of me for that” he stutters as you work your hand up and down his shaft.

“Mmm who’s the needy one now” you smirk releasing him so he can reach into his nightstand for a condom.

Ripping the foil open with his teeth he lets out a soft groan as he fists himself rolling the latex down his shaft. Lining himself up with your entrance he presses into you. “Fuck baby” he groans sinking all the way in to the hilt.

“Christ” you gasp arching into him.

Gripping your hips Andrew pulls out before slamming back into you. “Ngh” he whines setting a brutal pace slamming his hips into yours his cock dragging against your g-spot with each thrust.

“Fuck Andrew” you moan nails clawing at the bare skin of his back.

“Fuck” he hisses mouthing at your breasts his tongue swirling around the hardened bud before sucking it into his mouth.

“Jesus” you whine carding your hands in his hair rolling your hips against his meeting him thrust for thrust. A gasp tares from your parted lips as you feel your milk let down pulling a groan from Andrew as he drinks from you.

“Fuck I’m close” you whine as he brings a hand down between your bodies pressing a finger against your clit drawing his name against the sensitive bud.

“Cum for me baby” he groans releasing your nipple with a gentle pop kissing his way over to your neglected breast. “Cum on my cock”

“Andrew” you whine arching into his mouth as he sucks your other nipple into his mouth once more drinking from you like a man starved.

“Shit…… fuck” you gasp tumbling over the edge your walls clenching around his cock as he works you through your orgasm chasing his own.

“Fuck baby” he groans against you “that’s it cum for me” he breaths burrowing into your neck.

“Ngh” you whine tugging at his hair.

“Jesus Christ” he groans slamming into you once more before his hips still buried to the hilt as he follows you over the edge.

“Good boy” you praise softly as he slumps on top of you still buried to the hilt inside of you.

“Ngh” he whimpers rolling off of you to dispose of the soiled condom.

Lazily you drag yourself under the covers turning to face him as he shuffles back towards the bed. “God I can’t believe we’re getting married” he laughs softly. Burrowing under the covers, pressing his face into your neck he pulls your naked body flush against his.

“Honestly I gave up on marriage at the rip old age of thirteen but if anyone was going to convince me to into it, I’m glad it’s you” you murmur pressing a kiss to his chest your knee hooking over his waist.

“Mmm I’m honored its me” he hums pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I can’t believe we managed to buy matching rings without even trying” you laugh sleepily gazing at your newest ring.

“Just another sign we were meant for each other” he shrugs fighting off a yawn.

“Mmm I suppose so” you mumble half asleep.

“Get some rest love” Andrew murmurs sleepily kissing the crown of your head.

“A chuisle mo chroί” you mumble sleepily your eyes drooping shut.

“A chuisle mo chroί” he murmurs softly in reply.

The End (for now)

Mates of Soul

Engagement Rings

 

[arsonandthelike]

"....don't call my school and ask for my attendance rate."

Hi ^-^ skipping school gets boring after a while so I thought I'd get on here....

Oh, the fires that have been started 'round Yokohama lately? ....wasn't me.

my self insert oc, essentially. Kind of

Likes: music, drawing, loose clothes, cats, bats, writing, tea

Dislikes: people.

Name: Aoibhe

Age: 14

Height: 5'7

Ability: School increases ones urge for arson [name is a wip]

Aoibh's ability allows her to start fires from any piece of paper with writing on it. It can be anything, ficti9n, non fiction, school books, fanfiction etc. The higher quality of the writing, the larger the flames become. When the fires are started she can manipulate the flames however she wishes, and the flames will be the colour of the paper used and if you look closely you can see the words flickering in the flames.

She usually skips school due to the bullying she suffers from, and sets fires across the city. You can pay her and she'll do an arson attack for you. She has nothing better to do

Uhm hi its @evvwenthome with a bsd oc! Her ability is based on my fanfiction- This school increases my urge for arson lol

She/her for both oc and mod!

I'm a minor

[k00296662]

These are some very rough sketches for ideas for the storybook pages I want to make.

Page one is an idea for the cover of the storybook, with the title "The Swan Child", as opposed to The Children of Lir, as I decided to narrow the cast down vastly, since I thought that animating all the children was simply not feasible in the time frame.

Page two is the idea for the first page of the storybook, with Lir and Bodh Derg planned to be on the left and Lir and Aoibh's marriage on the right.

Page three is Lir and Fionnghuala visiting Aoibh's grave, with Aoife standing, seething, in the foreground.

[sybillctrelawney]

Used to being alone looking at the sky, Sybill was thrilled to have someone to take her up on the journey with her. Sure she was president of the Astronomy club but most people just liked being out past curfew more than discussing the beauty that surrounded them at night. It was different when when someone willingly decided to engage. She was excited to see where this would go with Amos.

A pretty smile? Sybill had never thought about that — or about her appearance in general. Neither had anyone else. All she could do was give a smile in return with pink cheeks. No words or response to the compliment.

“Don’t worry. I have a good way with everyone on patrol. Being with me will give you good points,” she said, turning her head toward his, smirking and attempting a wink that didn’t quite work. Sybill laughed. “That was supposed to be a wink. Don’t judge too harshly.”

Sybill turned back to the stars and took in a cleansing breath. “They’re truly beautiful. Likely the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.” She blinked slowly. “Oh, they all have names. There are the constellations of course but I’ve made sure each star has a name. A special name. For instance, that one right there,” she pointed at one so bright its twinkling couldn’t be denied. I named that one Aoibhe. It’s Irish for beauty and life.” She still had her arm raised softly with a face to match it. When she finally lowered her arm she turned to Amos. “Pick one that calls out to you. And pick any name you want.” She elbowed him. “Even if it’s something like Bob.”

@diggoryxamos

Amos knew that sitting down with Sybill meant they would be both breaking curfew. It wouldn't exactly be the first time, but he wasn't sure who was on shift today. The idea of being lectured really didn't interest Amos, but then neither did going straight back to his dorm either. "Well i never could resist a pretty smile- but you'll have to help protect me if we can't sneak past the prefect." They were certain people on shift that would let his after hours activities slide, but unfortunately not all of them.

Amos chucked himself down onto the grass next to Sybill, laying back, his head rested on top of his arms. He'd spent many a night under the stars practising Quidditch, but he couldn't say he'd paid that much attention to them before. He could respect their beauty and it was certainly calming to lay here and just watch them shine, but he had no real knowledge of them. "Do you know their names?" he asked out of genuine curiosity.

@sybillctrelawney

[kickingitwithkirk]

I’m a Nurse...

Parings: Sam Winchester x Preemie!Daughter

WC: 1200

Warnings: Pregnancy, labor, premature birth, death during surgery, angst, life changing decision, cursing

@spnmixedbingo​​​​​​ Square Filled: Hospital AU

 @winchesterandbeyondbingo​​​​​​ Square Filled: College AU

A/N: I originally was doing an aesthetic and ended up writing this.

A/N II: Aoibhe (ey-va) This comes from the Gaelic word “aoibh,” which means beauty.

*divider by @firefly-graphics

*photos found online

*no Beta-all mistakes are mine

When Sam was growing up he wanted to be a lawyer. He dedicated all his spare time in college studying for the LSATS, earning him a phenomenal score of 174.

The weekend before his admissions interview to Stanford Law School his pregnant fiancé went into labor at 33 weeks. While the doctors were trying to stop her labor the baby went into distress and they were rushed to surgery for an emergency c-section.

Complications developed during delivery and Sam's fiancé died, leaving him to raise their little girl, Aoibhe, alone. 

Aoibhe was overall in good health but it was having some issues associated with her premature birth. She had trouble keeping her body heat and poor sucking abilities, normal at her age and needing to gain weight before going home, she had to spend an unspecified time in the NICU.

Thankfully the hospital had recently opened 24/7 NICU rooms for parents to stay with their babies so Sam didn’t have to leave his little girl.

Sam spent the first days sitting next to her incubator, tentatively touching her thin skin the way the nurses showed him, soothing his tiny girl with delicate caresses. The first time she wrapped her hand around his pinky finger, he broke down, grief breaking through the numbness of losing his love and hope at their baby’s strength.

Few days later it was deemed she could be held, scaring the hell out of Sam. It was one thing to touch but hold her with his massive, rough hands, what if he did something wrong or messed up the wires monitoring her. 

The nurses found a reclining chair big enough for him to comfortably fit his 6’4” frame while doing Kangaroo Care. Sam was self conscious the first time he shed his T-shirt but when his baby girl was placed on his chest, warm and surprisingly solid for her size, everything around him quickly fell away.

When Aoibhe was almost 35 weeks the doctor tested her sucking abilities, she showed favorable progress so they decided to pull her feeding tube and start bottle feedings. A few days later Sam was given the news they would be going home when Aoibhe reached 36 weeks.

Sam panicked, he was still in his tiny apartment that didn’t have adequate enough space for the specialty items Aoibhe needed to properly care for her and his older brother Dean was moving in to help him, taken a sabbatical from his job at their dad’s garage.

Once again the nurses, who’d been carrying for Aoibhe came through, helping him weed through what was absolutely essential now, what could wait and somehow the brothers fit two men and a baby in the small space. 

A few weeks later they were watching a movie. Aoibhe had fallen asleep on Sam’s chest and Dean stared at his brother for a while contemplating an idea that’d been rattling around his brain watching as his brother lovingly cared for her. Sam had an appointment with his adviser about his options since he was still graduating but missed his deadline for admissions to law school.

After Sam put her to bed Dean handed him a beer telling Sam he thought he should reconsider his career path. He said with his smarts and empathy for others Sam would be a phenomenal health care provider, look at his little girl, she was thriving under his care.

Sam mulled over his brother's words. Dean was still the annoying, idiotic big brother who had giving him crap since they were kids but when it came to the important stuff Dean was as insightful as a sage, offering wisdom and sound advice.

At his meeting he shocked the adviser by inquiring about a different career path. They told him it took around six years total to achieve the degree he was considering, having already taken some of the basic classes and if he didn’t have a break, he might be able to do it in four to five and this all depended on if he was accepted to the nursing program first.

He informed Dean what it would entail to get his degree and didn’t think it was possible, Aoibhe needed a lot of hands on care and as she got older there was still the possibility of physical and developmental issues with her being a preemie. 

Dean told him he had discussed it with their parents, who’d been wanting Aoibhe and him to move back to Lawrence and in with them..but if Sam wanted to stay here and go for it, he’d stay and help out till getting his degree.

Sam got stubborn, said he couldn’t ask him to give up more of his life for them. Dean knew arguing with his baby brother was fruitless so they’d have to settle it the Winchester Way and stuck out his fist for Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Ten Years Later

“I fucking swear if you think your gonna sticking that dick in me without getting a vasectomy it ain’t happening buster!” Cassie screeches at her husband as a strong contraction rips through her. 

Dean didn’t say anything, only smiles and nods at what was the mildest outburst the last four hours. He’d been warned by his brother that women will say the most horrible, horrendous, horrific and absolutely downright terrifying things when in labor, especially when there’s no drugs involved. 

“Cassie, you're doing good, I need you to breathe and the next contraction really bare down,” Sam’s trying his damnedest to stay professional, keep his voice steady but sounds a bit weird from struggling not to laugh from where he was bent over behind her, “I can see the head.”

Cassie tiredly grunts acknowledgment, exhausted having delivered one baby and this one was being stubborn, just like her AssButt of a husband, who knocked her up with the twins. 

She kept moving, trying several birthing positions to get Dean’s hell spawn out before finally ending up on the floor, on her knees beside the bed, leaning against it gripping the side of birthing bar still attached to it with her brother-in-law Sam, who, in their small town, the only Labor & Delivery nurse specializing in natural childbearing techniques was, at this moment, somehow contorting his huge self between her spread legs with a hand held light.

“How's she progressing Sam?” Dr. Winchester aka Sam’s wife Y/N, asks as she enters the delivery room. It wasn’t normal protocol for physicians to attend family but Y/N was the only one on call that night.

“Waiting for the next contraction, what about..”

“Braxton Hicks, already sent them home. Cassie, let’s see about getting Johanna reunited with her sister, she’s apparently unhappy being separated from her and raising hell in the nursery. You need me…” Y/N starts asking if he needs to switch when Cassie screams as the contraction hits her, “heads crowning,” the baby’s head pops out as she gets on the floor to assist, instructing Cassie to stop pushing so Sam can rotate the baby then tells her to give one really big push.

Maryanna Winchester finally enters the world with the help of her uncle Sam Winchester, RN, BSN, L&D.

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @b3autyfuldisast3r @lassie-bird d @nancymcl

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen @thoughts-and-funnies @stoneyggirl @akshi8278 @beabutterfly987

[tiffanyink]

Witch, Siren, Lover

banshee

She's a witch, a harbinger of death, a siren of doom. The banshee is a figure steeped in the Old Irish lore. The name banshee derives from old Irish meaning "woman of the fairy mound". The concept is taken from the many mounds that scattered the Irish countryside. These mounds are called tumulus. Tumuli were covered graves and according to local legend, also the home of spirits and ghosts.

The banshee is also known as "the little washerwoman". Locals spoke of sightings of a woman washing the blood-stained clothes of the nearly deceased.

appearance

She appears in three forms a young maiden, a matron, or a crook-back crone. She would be dressed in a gray or white hooded cloak. Her eyes reddened from weeping. 

The predictor of death came from the shrill she would exude, rippling deep within the bowels of the forest. Tales have been passed down from generations about soldiers abandoning the battlegrounds by the sounds of the siren of death. 

Those that have claimed to have seen her describe a woman combing her long hair. While others speak of a woman pulling her hair out in anguish. According to some, she appears only to select families. Those of O’ Neills, O’ Connors, O’ Briens, O’ Gradys, and Kavanaghs although the list varies depending on who is telling the story. 

The Fairy Mistress

While the banshee is benign the fairy mistress, Lianhan Sídhe, (pronounced lan-hawn shee) is a beautiful woman who attracts men but this love will lead to their downfall. W.B. Yeats describes her as a seeker of mortals.

If they refuse, she must be their slave; if they consent, they are hers, and can only escape by finding another to take their place. The fairy lives on their life, and they waste away. Death is no escape from her. She is the Gaelic muse, for she gives inspiration to those she persecutes. The Gaelic poets die young, for she is restless, and will not let them remain long on earth – this malignant phantom. 

Aibell

Another figure in Irish legend is Aibell, anglicized as Aeval) was the guardian spirit of the Dál gCais, the Dalcassians or Ó Bríen clan. She was the ruler of a sídhe in north Munster, and her dwelling place was Craig Liath, the grey rock, a hill overlooking the Shannon about two miles north of Killaloe. Aibell also had a lover (called Dubhlainn Ua Artigan) and a magic harp (of which it was said "[w]hoever heard its music did not live long afterwards").

The name Aibell may come from Gaelic aoibh, meaning "beauty" (or aoibhinn "beautiful") Alternatively, as a theonym it could be derived from Proto-Celtic *Oibel-ā, literally "burning fire", which may have been a byword for the notion of "ardor"; the Romano-British equivalent of this Proto-Celtic theonym is likely to have been *Oebla. A variant name for the character is Áebinn.

Many names

In some parts of Leinster, she is referred to as the bean chaointe (keening woman) whose wail can be so piercing that it shatters glass. In Scottish folklore, a similar creature is known as the bean nighe or ban nigheachain (little washerwoman) or nigheag na h-àth (little washer at the ford) and is seen washing the bloodstained clothes or armor of those who are about to die. In Welsh folklore, a similar creature is known as the cyhyraeth.

Sightings

Besides signaling impending death the banshee also liked to cry at the crowning of a true king. One reported case of this happening was at the crowning of legendary Brian Boru who overthrew the O’Neills and began the O’Brien dynasty. Possibly the only example of a human Banshee appearance was in 1437 when a woman purporting to be a ‘seer’ approached King James I of Scotland and correctly predicted his murder at the instigation of the Earl of Atholl.

 In 1801 the Banshee paid a visit to the Commander in Chief of the British forces in Ireland. He had attended a party at Dublin Castle and invited a few guests back to his home in Mount Kennedy, Co. Wicklow, afterward. These guests, Sir Jonah Barrington, and his wife woke up at 2:30 am to what he described as ‘plaintive sounds’ coming from outside his window. His wife and a maid were also awoken by it, and the sound later turned into the name ‘Rossmore’ being screeched three times. The next morning, they were told that a servant, having heard odd sounds from Rossmore’s room at 2:30 am, entered to find him dying. 

Origins

The Banshee was usually thought to have once been a normal woman who enjoyed life, was incredibly beautiful, and radiated happiness, but some great sorrow overcame her at some point in her life and she became a haggard old woman. She was seemingly very wary of mortals and would disappear at the first sign of any human activity. She didn’t seem to enjoy the company of anyone, mortal or not, and traveled as a solitary fairy.

 When the Banshee moved from place to place, witnesses have heard a fluttering sound similar to birds flying. When she disappeared, all that would be left behind was a cloud of mist. There are several purported ‘Banshee Chairs’ around Ireland; wedge-shaped rocks where she would sit and cry for general misfortunes if there was no death to be attended. When a family emigrated, legend has it the Banshee would follow, or if she didn’t, she would stay at the family’s seat and lament their leaving there. The Banshee was relatively harmless. Apart from the dread people felt at hearing her cry, the only other things she seemed to do were knock on doors or windows. This pales to her sister spirit, the Lianhan Sidhe or ‘sweetheart fairy’, who sought the love of mortal men,  but in the end, destroyed them by driving them into madness.

[thekittyburger]

Ahh ty for the tag!!

Favourite Song: I could never choose but a top one is In the Mood by Glen Miller (still devastating that Rimmer canonically hates him 😔)

Favourite Colour: Orange or brown

Currently Watching: Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse (its genuinely so funny I do recommend)

Last Movie: I watched the animated NATM film for the first time I think last week? Or the week before?

Spicy, Sweet or Savory: one of the hardest questions in the world because I am that person that needs something sweet after something savoury, but if I had to choose, probably savoury purely because I'm a whore for the Mexican vegetarian bakes in Greggs

Relationship Status: single?? I think??? (Aoibhe babes do you count at this point 💀)

Current Obsession: Red Dwarf ofc

Last Thing I Searched: how to save in pokemon ultra sun (id been pressing the start button for seven hours 💀 SEVEN HOURS I THOUGHT I WAS STILL IN THE TUTORIAL 💀)

Tagging @ramblingstaylorsversion @isindismay @celery505 @yaminerua and anyone else who'd like to join!! No pressure ofc <3

I was tagged by @marsandjupiter!

Favourite Song: Always fluctuates. Right now its Unknown/Nth by Hoizer

Favourite Colour: Turquoise or Silver. Sometimes lavender but I'll usually pick that after.

Currently Watching: Our Flag Means Death s2. And by currently I mean tomorrow once I get to NY

Last Movie: Uhhhh I think Promare? Maybe? I dont watch movies often. Also Promare is a delight, go watch it

Spicy, Sweet or Savory: Sweet. Always sweet

Relationship Status: Very single, very aro

Current Obsession: Dragon Village Collection. Silly little gatcha game on mobile where you collect dragons. Most of its free too so its p chill

Last Thing I Searched: Shimada Death. Trying to make sure i got my cosplay right

@gothwizardmagic @cinnamon-phrog @leafmint-does-a-meow and anyone else who wants to

[senzariscrva]

injury starters @fontcroire​:   “I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying this looks awfully suspicious.” ( siobhan from aoibh )

                  SHE’S KNOWN FROM THE BEGINNING    that what she’s doing is dangerous,  yet she’s pushed that thought away,  chosen not to acknowledge it.  She supposes it’s only been a matter of time before someone got a bit too rough with her.  She had made her escape from the hotel room as soon as she could,  finding the nearest bathroom back downstairs by the bar to try to determine the extent of the damage.

                  With her back to the mirror,  she glances over her shoulder,  frowning at the already darkening bruise she finds there.  At least it’s something she can easily cover --- they all are,  she quickly determines.  It’s a small bit of relief. 

                  She’s initially startled out of her thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice,  though a slight frown forms on her lips as she quickly pulls her jacket on over her dress.  Suspicious  might be a bit of an understatement,  especially if anyone else were to see.  Siobhan shrugs slightly,  turning toward the mirror again to wipe some of the smeared mascara from under her eyes.  “Well I’m blaming me,”  she replies quietly.  She’s known all along what she’s getting herself into --- who else is there to blame? 

[cats-reviews-blog]

Review - Daughters of Róisín

A young girl sits in the middle of a room, arranging crisp white sheets. She does not look up, so focused on the task at hand. This is the sight that awaits audiences when walking into the theatre to see The Daughters of Róisín, written by and starring Aoibh Johnson. The story begins with the girl addressing the audience directly with the opening to For What Died the Sons of Róisín , a poem written by Dubliner Luke Kelly, and continuing with a pertinent question: “For what died the daughters of Róisín?”.  From there a compelling story unfolds.  

Based on true events endured by many young girls in Ireland over the last 100 years, this play tells the story of a young girl trapped in her bedroom for months on end. A “sickness” has befallen her, and her family have hidden her away from the world. The only contact the girl has is with her family, a visitor and her “sickness”. It is captivating to see this brave girl suffer pain and heartbreak as her “sickness” endures and is eventually taken from her.  

Johnson’s script, based on the experiences of her Great Grandmother Kathleen Barry, reflects the care and dedication she has put into telling not only Kathleen’s story but the story of all young girls who were forced to endure the same experience. The heart and soul Johnson pours into her performance brings the girl to life. The choice to not give the girl a name adds to the production further, as it becomes not one person’s story, but the story of all who have suffered this injustice. Though the play is set in Ireland – the Róisín of Luke Kelly’s poem – the subject is a common one, similarly experienced here in Australia.

The play is a thoughtful and reflective piece, and sheds light on what church and state sanctioned abuse on young unmarried pregnant girls was like from the inside. It showcases what minimal contact with others can do to a young mind, as the girl slowly descends into madness with only her “sickness” as a constant companion. Johnson brings the audience into the story further by addressing us directly; asking questions, telling stories, waiting for the visitor. It tells of the aftermath, of how the girl could not bear to stay in the country she once called home .

The pacing and movement add tension to the narrative, compelling audiences to take heed of the tale being told. Under the direction of Cahal Clarke, Johnson is able to give a nuanced performance of a very personal story.  

The Daughters of Róisín is beautiful in its subtlety and care in telling a very important story of those who did not and do not have a voice. It takes you on a journey through 9 months in the life of a trapped, voiceless girl, crying out to the world, and leaves you reflecting on how lucky we are to live in a society where this is no longer common practice and how much we have learned from these brave soldiers, the Daughters of Róisín.

[anelusiverush]

"𝓗𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓲𝓷'𝓽 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓴𝓪𝔂."

I’d like to say that argument was a defining moment, a bitch slap of reality if you like, but in truth I was too far gone to care, I continued to stew, to ferment in my own misery. If anything at all, I had further retreated from everything and everyone, except from this sofa and Disney movies. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I slept in my own bed. I could feel Aoibhe’s watchful gaze this particular morning, the low disgruntled murmur she made every morning since the coffee ban, should have been amusing as hell, and would have been under normal circumstances, but I felt nothing inside. Pulling the blanket further up, almost acting as a shield from all this, I click start on the next movie, as Aoibhe moves to the arm chair. “You know, sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with this, Cait.” I knew she was right, after all I couldn’t expect the world outside to pause while I vanished into oblivion. I had my placement and training to think of, but I no longer want to exist. The truth was I was more broken than I let people know, the one who had always kept herself locked away so she couldn’t be hurt and the cruel irony the world had, the ultimate way to hurt me to take away the two people that meant the most to me. leaving me with absolutely nothing. “I’m going to get some air.” It's probably the most I had moved in this past week, I was surprised she had stuck by me like this, after all the only other friend I had that had once felt more like a sibling had sucked Sean’s dick. “Why are you out alone here, Caitlín?” Feeling my body tense up at the sound of his voice, my hands curling into fists within the safety of my coat pockets. “What do you want, Sean?” Twisting my head to scowl as his figure as he moves from the shadows, holding his hands up in an act of innocence. “Just to talk, I’ve been trying to talk to you since the service.” “Where’s Mairead?” I all but grind out, the last thing I want to do is talk about her, or even talk to him. “She’s at home, this pregnancy is being hard on her.” Taking a sudden step to my side as his hand brushes down my arm. “Don’t fucking touch me…” Flinching, he looks pained momentarily, before smiling. “You’re my best friend, Cait. I love you; I miss you; I miss us.” Shaking my head as I look over at him, the man who at one point I thought was my future. “Is that why you came to find me in London?” Sean takes a step towards me, shrugging. “I had tried to contact you before, but you never answered your fucking phone.” Stumbling back against the railing, I remembered this side of him only too well, not the picture perfect boyfriend the world believed. Caging me within his arms, he leans down. “I love you, Cait…” The moment I feel his lips brush along my jaw, I react on instinct slamming my knee into his balls. Shoving him away from me as he drops to the floor, making almost inhuman noises, pacing around as my anger builds. “How dare you! HOW FUCKING DARE, YOU!” Tugging at my hair, I wasn’t the same scared girl that he had the power over. “Ugh, I like these jeans and all, and now I need to throw them away, better yet…burn them.” “We belong together Cait!” “You’re with Mairead, she’s pregnant with your baby, or did you forget about sticking your cock in her when you were meant to marry me!” “It’s not my baby!” Barking out a laugh I give him an incredulous look. “Do I look like I care? You made your bed, Sean.” Turning away, I start to walk off. “At least she was there for me, all those nights you were off chasing some dumb dream.” Now the adult part of me knows I should just keep walking, but then I was never any good at listening to that side as I twist round… The feelings for shame and guilt overwhelm me as I look between the Gardaí and Aoibhe as she picks me up, incapable of stopping the tears from falling  during the ride home, as if I have been holding them back for far too long, which is probably true. Choking up inside by the crushing pain, as I manage to whisper out. “I’m sorry…” My voice growing in intensity, “I’m so fucking sorry for everything I have done …” Letting out another gut-wrenching sob, as I twist to avoid her gaze, pausing as she opens the front door, choosing to do the only thing I know I’m good at. I run, for my life, from my life. The voices a distant blur, much like my vision, as my heavy heart beats match the heavy thump of my footsteps, each bringing me nearer. My head filled with a thousand thoughts, my lifetime with my parents, those alone almost cause me to stumble over, grasping hold of the railing the salty air stings at my tear-stained cheeks. Without a single thought I climb over. “Cait…Cait, what the fuck are you doing?” Taking off across the sand, a lot more like stumbling and falling than actual running, as my feet sink further into the damp surface, the waves calling me, as I wade deeper and deeper. Each crash against the shore pulses through my system like my own waves of grief, as I fall to my knees wanting nothing more than to be consumed, anything to stop this paralyzing pain. No sooner do I feel the coolness rush over me, than it’s all ripped away from me, and I’m being pulled away. I mewl like a baby, fighting to be let go of, but in honesty all the fight has left my body as we crash against the shore. Concern washes over her features as she pushes the damp locks from my face. “Let it out Cait, let it break you, trust in those that love you to help you heal.” It's only then under the setting sun for the first time in my life, I let myself fall apart, and hope somehow, someday it will be okay.

[k00266236]

Garment Observation

Purple Cardigan: I got this garment from my friend Aislinn which she used to wear it before but not anymore and she's got this from the Dunnes Stores. I researched about the fabrics and it is very interesting what I found.

Black Dress: I got this beautiful from my friend Aoibhe to wear it for myself but later I thought I'll use this for my project. She has got this from her mom's which is from the company Next. I love the frilled detail in the bottom of the dress. I feel I can work with this garment in various ways.

50s Polka Dress: This garment is a really nice piece also a weird garment piece. I got this also from Aislinn which she has bought from Amazon ages ago. And this dress didn't have a tags on it about the company which is strange so I had to swim through the Amazon to find information about this garment. This dress sold from an Amazon shop called AXOE, this brand's no where in the internet. And also this dress was in White with a red belt which she had dyed it in Blue later.

[thompsonssamantha]

Tottenham Liverpool live score, video stream and H2H results - SofaScore

Score between liverpool and spurs - Tottenham vs Liverpool H2H 28 jan Head to Head stats prediction

Tottenham 1-3 Liverpool: Premier League champions end poor run

Shots 4 0 Shots on Target. Conceded by Andrew Robertson. Shots on Goal 17 Data is currently unavailable. Bet Open Account Offer. Join Here. Manchester City. This has been a curious game from Thiago, and we should not be afraid to say that.

He will surely come good but in this game he has perhaps not been at his expansive best, partly a function of a deeper role but also because he still seems to be familiarising himself with the particular rhythms of the English game. There have been moments - he was crucial in the build-up to Salah's disallowed score between liverpool and spurs - and there's no reason to not assume he won't get better quickly. But it still hasn't been the Thiago we hoped for tonight.

Bobby's effort hits the side-netting from a tight angle. It's becoming very hard to read handballs at the moment, the click the following article bouncing off Dier's arm and onto Firmino's in the build-up to the goal.

From there Thiago and Mane combine to tee up Salah but we're brought score between liverpool and spurs for the handball far earlier in the play.

Curious, but Spurs would have fumed if that goal had stood. Tottenham Hotspur. To cope with one pain, he probably could continue, but both are very score between liverpool and spurs and sore, and getting big. It was a great game, super-intense. We scored the goals in the right moments. Wonderful goals. The right people scored the goals. All good apart from Joel Matip having to come off.

What I saw today was not about form: it was who we are. That was us. Today, the second half especially, that was us. A massive fight and football on top of that. We defended really well. It was just a good performance, and a lot of things I wanted to score between liverpool and spurs. Offensively we coped really well with their formation.

Our counter-press was really good. The last line defended really well. Trent Alexander-Arnold - out of sorts recently, but back on top of his game tonight - talks to BT Sport. I thought we deserved it. We dominated most of the game. User menu. Push Notifications.

Predictions Notifications. Notifications new. There is no new notifications. We found streaks for direct matches between Tottenham vs Liverpool. Odds stats. Games stats. Goals stats. Actual match. England Premier League » Round Liverpool England In Premier League position: 7 49 points. Finished 90 '. Under 1. Under 2.

Tottenham - Liverpool H2H

Asian Handicap Kick Off:. Jordan Henderson 52' Goal. Mohamed Salah 75' pen label. Harry Kane 1' Goal. LIV Goal 1 Mins Harry Kane. Yellow Card 36 Mins Moussa Sissoko. Yellow Card 37 Mins 3. Danny Rose. Yellow Card 50 Mins 6. Dejan Lovren. Goal 52 Mins Jordan Henderson. Substitution 87 Mins 7. Son Heung-Min Substitution Off.

Dele Alli Substitution On. Goal 90 Mins 9. Roberto Firmino Ast. Andrew Robertson. KO Mins. HT Mins. FT Mins. Score between liverpool and spurs Liverpool Total Wins. Spurs Total Wins. Played 58 Draws More replies 40 down. Comment posted by yourego, at 28 Jan yourego. Aoibh replied: How come mane and salad are ok then? More replies 66 down. Comment posted by Andy, at 28 Jan Andy. The betwen team won, Jose. You need to beat more than spurs to win you league. More replies 63 down.

We have been struggling with confidence and goals. Betweeen saw the Spurs line up tonight and was quietly confident. Mourinho is his own worst enemy. Thanks for that. Reply this page by Bileybill, at 28 Jan Bileybill.

Bileybill replied: Yep agree. Not ver special from our special one More replies 6 down. Comment posted btween Elarbee, at score between liverpool and spurs Jan Elarbee. Regarding the 'double handball' disallowed goal, if the ref is ruling that one out - surely he can't give a free kick to spurs after And why is Score between liverpool and spurs not coming on for Kane at half time?

Reply posted by sun ra, at 28 Jan sun ra. More replies 28 down. A cracker of a match. Well played Liverpool. Reply posted by Hoopsy, at 28 Jan Hoopsy. Hoopsy replied: The league isn't over yet More replies 27 down.

[irvinilisa]

Liverpool football club: record v Tottenham Hotspur

Liverpool tottenham game - Tottenham Liverpool live score, video stream and H2H results - SofaScore

The rules are clearly bonkers. Refs gake not blowing for this amymore.? More replies 2 down. Spurs fun Congrats Liverpool you deserved the win Mourinho's tactic hurt my eyes again 3 shots 2 on target what i could say more Disaster. Removed comment. More replies 3 oiverpool. Comment posted by admin, at 28 Jan admin. Let me guess. Aoibh replied: Ah original like the ten comments above you well done. More replies 17 down. The tothenham team won. Aoibh replied: The relief oozing out of the scousers is palpable.

No point bringing your a game to Tottejham and not bothering against anyone else so far this month. More replies 15 tottenhxm. As a United fan I was thinking Liverpool's confidence would be shot and they'd struggle. I find wrong. Fair play to them. Liverpool tottenham game posted by stevecee, at 28 Jan stevecee.

More replies 7 down. Comment posted by hari, at 28 Jan hari. Liverpool tottenham game from the champions. Write off Liverpool at your peril. We have been well below par recently but the lads worked hard for that. Champions YNWA. More replies 37 down. Comment posted by Dex, at 28 Jan Dex. Liverpool tottenham game bizarre.

Liverpool won and there's ggame photo of ttottenham of the liverpool goalscorers. Last night after the blades had thumped man u, the biased BBC Salford had a photo of Harry Maguire who was on the losing team!!!!!!! So why? It can only be an attempt to totally disregard and disrespect Liverpool tottenham game United and its supporters. Here are Alasdair's thoughts liverrpool liverpool tottenham game first half Some woeful defending from Tottenham to end the liverpool tottenham game with Eric Dier losing all sense of where he was.

Half-time Liverpool lead at the break courtesy of that Firmino goal. Goal Liverpool take the lead in stopage time through Firmino. Stoppage time Four minutes added on.

Tottenjam save It's rather easy for Liverpool as they go straight through the Spurs team and create a chance for Mane. However, Lloris is liverpooo to stop him with a good save.

Superb defending from the Spurs man. Kane getting attention from the physio again Harry Kane goes down again and needs treatment. Looks to liverpool tottenham game his left ankle. Brilliant save What a save from Hugo Lloris to deny Mane from point-blank range.

Thiago now in the book for a poor challenge on Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg. Another Son chance Opportunity for Spurs as Kane knocks liverpool tottenham game a Lloris kick to Bergwijn, who spreads it first time into the path of Son but liverpool tottenham game shot is low and comfortable for Ваш soccer livescore result today Спасибо!. Long ball from Dier It sends Son away but his touch is heavy and the ball is taken away from him.

Liverpool opening Thiago has just headed the ball across liverpool tottenham game but Firmino goes down under pressure from Dier. Match Info Start date: 28 Jan Therefore, you tottenjam Find out who scored in a live match Get real-time information on which team is dominating the match using the Attack Momentum Follow detailed statistics such as ball possession, shots, corner kicks, big chances created, cards, key passes, duels and more Check all head to head matches — for instance, in the last season Tottenham and Liverpool played 2 games against each other Track all home and away games for each team in the Premier League Check out how SofaScore community liverpool tottenham game on which team is more likely liverpooo win this match.

More details: Tottenham live score, schedule and results Liverpool live score, schedule and results SofaScore liverpool tottenham game is available as iPhone and iPad app, Android app on Google Play and Windows phone app.

Paulo Gazzaniga. Toby Alderweireld. Serge Aurier 84'. Harry Winks 63'. Dele Alli.

Firmino gives Liverpool title race advantage

Christian Eriksen 88'. Son Heung-Min. Brandon Austin. Jan Vertonghen. Ben Davies. Giovani Lo Celso 88'. Eric Dier. Tanguy Ndombele 63'. Lucas Moura 84'. Season So Far. Top Player Stats. Harry Kane.

Son Heung-Min 87'. Joe Hart. Joe Rodon. Dele Alli 87'. Liverpoo, Ndombele. Harry Winks. Lucas Moura 58'. Season So Far. Top Player Stats. Match Liverpool tottenham game. Now Playing. Mohamed Salah Liverpool. Son Heung-Min Spurs.

Tottenham 1-3 Liverpool: Premier League champions end poor run

Son Heung-Min. Data is currently unavailable. Bet Open Account Offer. Join Here. Manchester City. Manchester United. Leicester City. West Ham United. Tottenham Hotspur. Aston Villa.

[cottagenotebook]

Craft | Nuada by Aoibhe Ni

Craft | Nuada by Aoibhe Ni. Every handmade item has a tale woven into its carefully crafted stitches. Pop over tot he blog and learn the story of Nuada. #crochet #knitting #handmade #bloggerstribe #craftblog

You may have caught glimpses of my latest collaboration with Aoibhe Ni on Instagram but I thought you would like to learn more about that beautiful Nuada shawl and how it came to life. I asked Aoibhe if she had some time to write a guest blog post on her design process and she kindly agreed. When I get a chance to work with a designer like Aoibhe I always love hearing what inspires them and the…

[senzariscrva]

Send me a ♦ if your character has ever had sexual thoughts about mine. @fontcroire​​:    ♦ ( aoibh to siobhan )

                “REALLY?”     There’s a brief pause,  her head tilting slightly to one side.  “I mean,  not that that’s a  bad  thing,”  she clarifies quickly.  “Just an...  unexpected  thing...”