#apart from the fact that the video DOESNT LOAD

[cometchasr]

sounds of singapore

("di tanjong katong" sung by kartina dahari)

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

is it just ocean ships youre into or?

...this ask has a slightly threatening aura but like, if you give me a chance to infodump, im going to.

tbh, i wouldnt say im "into ocean ships". i go feral for ocean liners, correct, but like 98% of cruise ships ive come across are fucking awful. plus ro-ro ferries can also go fuck themselves. and im also not really into like battleships apart from a few specific cases, e.g. the hms captain (the last one to be given that name) because boy howdy was that ship terribly designed.

-

but like most ship aficionados, im am really into great lake ships. i mean, the great lakes themselves are like so fucking cool and honestly if i had to go to america, id like to see them. because of how unique the geography of the great lakes are (essentially inland seas with waves cresting much closer to one another), you get some really interesting ships coming out of it.

theres the more obvious ships that i find interesting like the fitz (edmund fitzgerald), the daniel j morrell and the bannockburn, but im not gonna retread common ground here; theres plenty of videos on youtube about them.

what i wanna talk about is whaleback ships:

they were dreamt up by captain alexander mcdougall and are a much obscure ship design for the lakes. only 44 were ever between 1887 and 1898.

see at that time, the size of a ship was limited mostly by a ships ability to get through lochs and rivers (and obviously materials + hull design theory) rather than power, which led to the common practice of one self-powering vessel towing several barges. and that became a problem when the seas were rough and the winds were howling. so mcdougall wanted to create a design that could easily be towed, which led to the whaleback design.

the hull of a whaleback is continuously curved, and the bow and stern were nearly identical. things like cabins were in the superstructure above the ship. when fully loaded, the hull would lay low in the water, giving it the eponymous whaleback look. it also looks a bit like a cigar.

while they were easy to tow and saw some success as self-powered vessels themselves, like the unfortunately named christopher colombus which was the only passenger whaleback vessel nicknamed "the queen of the lakes", they were flaws in the design. the curved hull made it harder to create watertight hatches, or hatches that would remain watertight as many warped. the working conditions were often poor as within the hull, its essentially a submarine. they were also quite vulnerable to and in collisions; they laid almost flush with the water so they were kinda hard to see.

i just find them very interesting and the design is actually kinda beautiful to me? idk, its just a bit of shipping history that doesnt get mentioned as much. the only remaining whaleback boat is the ss meteor which is now a museum ship.

-

also, as a certified yam-yam (a seemingly insane thing to call myself), i have to talk about canal boats/narrowboats.

see where im from in the uk has more canals than venice and thats a fact any comedian will turn into a joke if they do a show hear. i know theres at least one other semi-popular posts about narrowboats, but if you havent seen it, you might have seen them in peaky blinders because they were used to transport illegal goods amongst other things.

the canals (or cuts as they were also called) where im from were used a lot during britains industrial revolution in terms of transporting goods. and although canal travel declined due to several factors like better roads for cars, increase in rail travel (seriously, you can get a train to anywhere round here) and issues with wages, its still a pretty significant part of our local culture and history.

like in primary school, we were taught how locks work and i remember learning about all of the different kinds of narrowboats. im not gonna get into all of them because this post is long enough as is, but its safe to say, i have a personal attachment to narrowboats.

in the 60s, there was a restoration of canals and narrowboat tourism became popular. you can also live on a canal boat which one of my friends did for a while growing up.

plus we have a lot of very pretty architecture thanks to canals in the staffordshire ring/black country rings (its called the black country due to how much soot would emanate from factories as well as thick coal seam that came from the mines during the victorian era). the staffordshire ring is like a canal of a lazy river, i guess; it loops all the way round the area and surrounding areas.

i particularly enjoy this little area of the dudley canal part of the ring:

this part of our history also left a bunch of tunnels because canals went through things, and theres a lot of these tunnels. pretty sure theres a lot around the country in general? dont quote me on that; i know my local cut history better than the national canal history.

but anyway, you can walk through a lot of these tunnels such as the netherton tunnel:

which i walked, all the way through and back, as a young child with a headlight on that didnt work too well. me dad took me my brother and by the time we were on the homestretch, we had a single flickering headlight left. fun times.

[rangergranger11]

Headcanons (I promise these won’t make you cry)

Ok so on @eatyourdamnpears post there were a lot of headcanons, and I decided to put them all in one post, but just bear in mind, half of this is credit to @thedarkestcrew cuz she did some amazing HCs, and I’m by no means stealing hers, just putting it all in a better place.

- Liam sends packages to Ruby because he can't make a fool out of himself in person so it's the next best thing. 

-These packages include things like hand writing notes, stuffed animals, any ruby jewellery he finds, pictures of them on dates that he printed (he has matching pictures and keeps them under his bed)( Cole and Harry find them but it's too cute to tease him), and finally, videos to make her laugh

- He also keeps a menu from Ruby Tuesday, and LOADS of old CDs and rock band t shirts

-Cole and him borrow each others jackets all the time and it's not a problem because they live in the same house and they can just go over to the room next door, 

-But when ruby starts stealing Liam’s jackets that he stole from Cole? well now the Stewart house is missing 10 leather jackets and you can't just get them form the girl who lives a state away. So she has to send them back in the mail,

-keeps a few that smell like Liam because she can

-sometimes people are confused which Stewart brother Ruby is really dating. And the fact that they look like twins it adds to the confusion, and the Ruby and Cole literally love to watch people get so mixed up

-oh absolutely, they’ll walk in on ruby and Liam making out, but two second later see Cole smoothing Down her hair and calling her Gem, AND seeing her he friendly with Chubs and cleaning his glasses because her skirt has better fabric for it, AND seeing her joke around with Nico

-it becomes a bet to see who she's with

-Liam will give Ruby his jacket, but than Cole comes and notices it's his jacket and makes a joke about them dating, she just gives him the jacket because she'd rather wear lee'. bystanders are distraught

-  And then Clancy comes along and brags about how he kissed Ruby and then the people who bet are just like 'where. the. hell. did. clancy. frickin. gray. come. from???

-Ruby thinks most of the rumours are funny and will be really vague about who her boyfriend is. most of the time just seeing Ruby and Liam together will be enough for people to figure it out by how the are relaxed around each other and look lovingly at the other.

-But when she hears the Clancy rumour she shuts that down faster than Charles scarfs Down a pancake

- Also, Liam's mum and Harry have an ongoing bet about who Ruby is actually dating because it's just so confusing at this point. Grace is like 'are you blind???' and Harry Is like 'there's something with Cole, I swear!!' But eventually realised its Liam and gives in

- Grace thinks she’s dating Cole, because when she visited she hugged Cole first and than a minute later hugged Liam. Yes, she went out to the park with Liam but grace doesn't know that, also she spend 20 minutes in Coles room chatting. She thinks Liam just has a crush on her or something 

- Ruby's parents can't tell them apart for anything and made a rule of " announce who you are before talking" after Liam kissed Ruby on the cheek and her mom thought that was the same person who told someone to go-F themselves ten minutes ago and nearly faints. It takes them a while the even figure out there are two blond southern men that flirt with their daughter

 -Grace is always giving Liam encouraging mom advice like, 'there are always others' and 'you'll get there someday' and Liam is just like 'thanks, mom'

-Ruby's dad is just so tired of confusing Liam and Cole, he's like 'Stewart sr' and 'Stewart jr.' He tried to call them 'Ruby's boyfriend' and Ruby's friend, but Cole answered to both just for the fun of it

-Chubs does not think it's funny at all and spits out what he's drinking when he sees Cole look when her dad says ' Ruby's boyfriend'. almost strangles Ruby until he hears about it. 

-Vida thinks it's really funny but event breaks and tells everyone it's a joke the day after. she doesn't know how many more times she can see Liam pouting

-After the Cole fiasco is over. his parents wait about a week and try to get Liam with Ruby. it's a bunch of prep talks, buying new clothes, telling him how to not mess up. when the big date comes her kisses her as a hello and they feel betrayed

-When ruby’s dad says the jr, sr thing he has Harry looking too and now he just needs to have ruby in the room with him, whoever’s face gets softer Is Liam, the one who stands up to tease her about something is Cole

-One day they talk about it and their 70 percent sure it’s Cole because they think he’s more her type while Liam would be good for her. Anyways they see her making out with Liam and are shocked and think she’s cheating on Cole.

-Harry had to sit Cole down and explain that Ruby isn’t faithful and Cole is absolutely loving it. He’s eating it all up, goes along with it, calls ruby in-front of him and ‘breaks up with her’, she also thinks it’s hilarious because for crying out loud it’s been a few month into the new program and why not see how long they can keep going. I swear they have a whole plot on how they met, what line made them fall in love the, whole 9 yards. 

-Grams knows of course because she pulled her aside and threatened her to date Liam because he’s the poster ’ nice southern boy’. Liam does not enjoy his girl friend pretending to date his brother but she throws enough Liam flirting into the mix to make it even.

- when Cole ‘breaks up’ with her, they have a fully fledged fake argument, like ‘remember that time when we got ice cream and you told me you told me you loved me’ and ‘you never loved me!!’ And for Ruby this is easy, because let’s face it Ruby is a grade A liar (in a good way) and Cole should be a 5 star actor because he is so damn dramatic. 

-Harry is totally buying this, and in the end they confess to their parents that Ruby + Cole was never a thing, and Liam is just looking at his mum like ‘SEE, I TOLD YOU I WASN’T A TOTAL LOSER’ and poor Grace just bakes a bunch of things just to make it up to him, and they all have a laugh about it. 

-But it was getting to the point where Ruby’s parents asked Zu which one she was dating and she was like ‘I am not getting involves in this.’ and Cole is just giving her a discreet thumbs up for playing her part while she just rolls her eyes.

-Oh absolutely they get into it, everyone who knows their lying get popcorn and treat it like its a movie. Cole says something absolutely ridiculous like “ you can take my heart, and my dignity, but I’m taking back the popcorn I gave you that one time” and Ruby has to use all of her enegery to not burst out laughing. 

-Ruby can also fake cry quickly so she’s sobbing, and by the end schools her face within a second and wipes away to tears Cooly. Ruby’s mom can’t trust her after that. also still kinda doesnt belive she’s dating anyone because of the Cole thing. Liam comes over 5 times before she’s convinced that this isn’t another prank. Ruby tells her she’s going on a date Saturday and says “ ha ya alright I’m not falling for that again” and than on saturday spends 6 minutes looking around the house for her before calling her and realizing that she wasent kidding

-Vida definitely films the whole thing like it's some telenovela, while Chubs is rolling her eyes at her but Zu secretly loves the drama and her stupid family. And Rubiam parents mention this at their wedding as well like, Ruby's dad would be doing a speech 'today we are gathered for the union of my daughter and Cole- Liam, i meant Liam. Its definitely Liam. Right Ruby??'

-Cole shows up to Haven for a visit about to yell at Liam and Ruby for not inviting him sooner after Harry and Grace let the location slip

( I know cole being dead is one of the things that sparked haven being made on liams part, but let's just say the spark for haven was Ruby getting harassed and Liam not being able to see her like that and asking her to run away with him to the middle of no where. Good? Great)

-Cole is about to walk through the door before a kid puts a frog in his hand and another kid asks if he can beat the level on his game boy.

-he thinks it's really adorable and the kids start calling him Liam for a Few minutes so why not,

-anyways he sneezes in a lone hallway and lights something small on fire before quickly putting it out.

-Owen is coming out of his room but sees the panic in Coles eyes and says ' hey, I'm not one to judge' and walks back into his room.

-When Ruby gets home she stops and stares at him for a full minute like " that's..... not Liam????"

-he calls her gem and she can't decide between jumping a hug onto him or punching him.

-Liam gets home and the kids all do a double take like ' you changed shirts??? can got a hair cut????' before doing a double take between the two

-Loads of the kids gather around and start making daisy chains for Cole’s hair, and he freaking loves it.

-He’s surprisingly good with kids as they all hover around him asking questions, holding his hand and showing him random things and it warms Ruby’s heart so much

Again, credit to @thedarkestcrew for thinking all of this, and this post has been fun 

[road-kill-eater]

fun fact! when I was a kid I was lucky enough to catch sockeye in lake washington, for one year, the only year the season was ever open during my lifetime. in 2006 there were 450,000 sockeye counted swimming through the locks

this year its only been 17,000 and no amount of half assed “habitat restoration” or hatcheries or fish tubes has done shit to restore the population. the number of sockeye before european colonization was likely around a million if not millions, salmon are THE keystone species that the entire pacific northwest revolves around. without them the entire ecosystem falls apart both in the water and on land.

a lot of my followers have probably eaten sockeye salmon, even though you are contributing to the destruction of our ecosystem by doing so and literally stealing what was once a main food source from the locals (i have seen with my own eyes commercial fishermen catching fish and shellfish just yards away from the public dock in a fishing town. and surprise surprise, i wasnt able to catch anything in that one abundant area anymore because they wiped it clean, and more importantly the people who fished for subsistence had their food security stolen from them) half of all sockeye in the market come from bristol bay in alaska, and currently alaska wants to build an open pit mine in bristol bay, effectively poisoning the entire area and destroying at LEAST 81 salmon streams and 3,500 acres of crucial habitat. If it is built, the real consequences will be far reaching across the northwest.

Canada still not only dumps raw sewage into the pacific ocean, they also farm atlantic salmon in nets where ocean water can freely pass through. the farms have been noncompliant and violent when it comes to being investigated or observed, but from what activists have found, the fish are full of disease and parasites due to being kept in such high numbers and close proximity. the current carries these parasites and disease directly to wild native fish, destroying local populations. the native tribes in the area have continually fought against these farms, occupying them and their boats, providing proof of declining salmon numbers as a result of the farms, and the canadian government has arrested them for their troubles

in my state the US military recently dumped several truck loads of paint and metal pieces they scraped off the hulls of their aircraft carriers, right into puget sound. for those who arent aware, puget sound is an extremely polluted area already, our orca pods literally cannot raise their calves because they are born deformed and weak as a result of all the toxins theyve been exposed to. large marine mammals are some of the most polluted animals in the world wherever they live, and these orcas live in the perpetual shadow of seattles downtown, in waters full of heavy metals, pesticide and fertilizer run off, pharmaceuticals and recreational drugs, the list goes on and on. even the salmon themselves, far lower on the food chain, are suffering from bioaccumulation

knowing im likely one of the last people who got to see the salish sea orcas and catch the wild salmon is haunting to me. what is more upsetting is how many people can see a video of a salmon being shot through a tube and think its hilarious. its not, its horrifying, its terrifying that we have so destroyed the ability for a native species to survive without human intervention and everyone just accepts it and doesnt question why we have dammed nearly every major salmon river. at that point can you even call it a wild species? or are salmon just ocean cattle now, just one of another food source for hungry rich people all over the world who want their pristine wild salmon. its hard for me to explain the importance of salmon here, culturally, spiritually, historically, ecologically, economically, there is nothing else like them in the world and when shown videos of the drastic measures taken to circumvent their destroyed habitats everyone just laughs and laughs and says stupid bullshit about whether or not fish can be “traumatized” by sliding down a tube. this kind of response is never given to big impressive megafauna or cute or cool mammals but salmon are just stupid fish, so who the fuck cares

[mattgambler]

My thoughts on Sekiro - Shadows Die Twice

TLDR: I talk about what I liked and disliked about Sekiro and why it in my eyes is probably* the best game From Software has released to date. Which means I also compare it to Dark Souls a lot.

*I havent played Demon Souls or Bloodborne, so I cant really talk about those. As someone who played through all three Dark Souls games as well as several other soulslikes on stream, I always stood by the unpopular opinion that Dark Souls 1 is a good game, but also a vastly overrated one - with one of the most unbearable fanbases out there, right up there with Undertale, albeit for very different reasons. My opinion is of course strongly coloured by my interactions with diehard fans of Dark Souls, both on stream as well as everywhere else on the Internet, but at the end of the day I never hated Dark Souls. I wouldnt have played through all three games otherwise. I *did* hate smaller aspects, like the fact that I ended up entering the tomb of the giants without ever finding a lantern and therefore  being forced to crawl through that place in near complete darkness until I found the emergency lantern in there, simply because I was unlucky enough to have none of the necromancers drop one for me. Or how the curse mechanic in the sewers got me trapped in a place that i already struggled with, but now with only 50% of my original HP. Or the entire “Git Gud” mentality that is so grossly abused to defend poor game design that the travesty that is camera control in the Ornstein and Smough fight looks like a piece of art in comparison. Onionbro and Solaire would weep if they knew. There were other things that I didnt enjoy, like what the Souls games count as a story, but I have an easier time pinning that down as personal preference and something that just isnt for me. Vaatividya makes good videos. The tomb of the giants without a lantern however, that just shouldnt exist in any game, not to mention a game that is glorified to such an extent that it could get its dick sucked every day by a different dude without running out for centuries. Can you taste that sweaty salt yet? Along comes Sekiro, a game by the same dev studio, with the same feel, minus many of the things that I have hated and criticized for several years now. Guess what, I like it.    This isnt a review, Im not trying to tell you if you should buy, Im not telling you that there are no microtransactions in the game or what framerate it isnt capped at. There are tons of videos online that jump-attacked all over that on day 1 of release or earlier. Im telling you why, in my opinion, this game is so vastly superior to Dark Souls that it simply warms my heart. Let me start a list and then never finish it: - You can swim - You can jump - You can talk - You dont immediately die when you fall off a cliff - You cant accidentally walk over a cliff like a moron, at least most of the time. - You can’t simply rely on dodgerolls and invincibility frames all the time - You can understand the story without having to go to Youtube to have it explained to you by someone - You can’t kill strong enemies simply by chain parrying them over and over, or at least it is hell of a lot harder - You can’t simply kill strong enemies by knocking them off a cliff (I think) - You can’t abuse magic for an immediate easy mode - You can’t abuse coop for an immediate easy mode

... I’m getting a little unfair here, I know. I actually think coop is a cool feature, even though I personally never used it and even the multiplayer pvp invasions are an original and interesting concept, although I’m not personally into it. Magic is cool too, although poorly balanced and therefore in my opinion less interesting. The reason I added those last two points to my unfinished list is not because I dislike them, but because of the lately relevant “does Sekiro need an easy mode” controversy. Especially the most elitist diehard fans of the souls franchise strongly disagree with the addition of an easy mode, which is funny... ... given that Dark Souls 1 has several. Personally I dont think Sekiro NEEDS an easy mode, but it sure wouldnt hurt anyone. I personally wouldnt have minded playing on a lower difficulty, I had three or four bosses greatly overstay their welcome before I finally managed to smash their asslike faces in. ...but Im rambling. On a surface level, just looking at the feel of combat, movement and overall story coherence Sekiro is already miles ahead, but I can understand that it therefore feels less like a Souls game and that not everyone will like that. I can understand and respect that. DarkSouls 1, as well as 2 and maybe even 3, have a couple of features that I greatly appreciate and that partly even surpass Sekiro in my otherwise overly critical eyes. Dark Souls 1 has the best and most memorable map in my opinion. Dark Souls 2 has incredible DLCs, especially Frozen Eleum Loyce was awesome and beautiful, with the minor exception of that retarded snow zebra area and how you would respawn *before* the loading screen to get there again instead of after. I also liked the Pursuers concept a lot, as well as the idea of despawning mobs if you killed them often enough. I dont remember much about DS3, it was okay as far as Im concerned but I enjoyed it the least out of the three, probably because of burnout as I had played through all three (blind) in a row. Im mentioning all of this because I want to clarify that in my eyes Sekiro is not THE TIMELESS MASTERPIECE NOBODY WILL EVER SURPASS that Darksouls 1 is often celebrated as. But in many ways it is headed in a direction that makes more sense to me than “if you are not enjoying it then you are doing it wrong and you should maybe think for once”. (Not that Sekiro streamers werent told exactly that just the same) Let me tell you, there were many instances in Sekiro where I also didnt think, didnt consider every possible option the game had given me, honestly Im pretty sure I sucked most of the time, in the eyes of your usual GITGUD-Bro. But I struggled, I improved, I succeded, and I had a way better time during it all, even though I did the same shit in the Souls games as well. Just without falling off edges in waist-high water every 10 minutes, or being invaded by some bowing edgelord, or losing 50% of my max hp as punishment for dying to the wrong enemy. There is this myth going around online that Dark Souls might be a harsh mistress, but at least a fair one. The one spreading that rumour must have been the Bed of Chaos herself, because that is nothing but horseshit. Sekiro isnt exactly fair all the time either, there are many moments in the game that feel all too familiar in their GOTCHA nature. Like how the game conveniently places the key to one of the hardest areas of the early game in your path so you go check it out just to get crucified there by Lady Butterfly and a special drunkard, just for you to learn after finally breaking both of them that you would have had a way easier time if you had simply ignored that area and soldiered on on your original path. Sure, one could have simply abandoned that area and returned later, but how many of you did? I sure didnt. The game likes to oneshot-kill you if you fail to dodge the wrong attack, be it a giant carp, a giant snake, or a giant TERROR man. Even worse, in Sekiro you cant even get your souls back! You die, you lose 50%. ALso 50% of your cash. Suck it. Im not particularly happy about that myself and Im not sure what the motivation behind that design decision was, but you take the good with the bad, right? Another thing that Sekiro does that I dont understand is how the game has you collect loot. Every time you kill an enemy you need to hold a button to collect. You can kill several in an area and then grab everything at once if they arent too far apart, but at the end of the day it eludes me why From Software didnt simply go for autocollecting instead. It’s not a big deal (even though I would forget about picking up loot every now and then) but at the same time it isnt adding any enjoyment to the game either, no matter how hard I try and emphasize with whatever a gamer who likes this might possibly think. It is not hard, its is not really relevant,  and I cant think of a single advantage it has over autocollecting. Maybe holding that button is supposed to feel rewarding? I consider it meaningless at best and tedious busywork at worst. At the same time the game introduces a stealth system that actually means something, while at the same time keeping it both well integrated as well as completely optional. Im truly impressed by how that is even possible. I also like the immortality mechanic, that results in you only truly dying if you go down twice, and even refreshes that revive if you kill enough enemies inbetween deaths. It doesnt help that much, as it doesnt refill your estus fl.... healing gourds, but it allows for a little bit more practice against tough enemies before you die, a little bit more lenience while exploring in an area where it is easy to fall, a little bit more standing power in a world where a giant carp can simply eat you. I appreciate it and it is far from making the game anything close to easy. Its more like an extra gourding flask. I could keep going and praise this (surprisingly satisfying enemy style and variety given the setting) or criticize that (less replayability because of fewer possible weapons and builds), but at the end of the day my opinion is crystalclear - Sekiro is stunningly beautiful, very enjoyable, hard as fuck, and while I have heard people say that “it is not a true soulslike”, I have to shrug and agree. It is better.

[samgibbsmultiverse]

Playlist Week 4

This week I have been quite into a lot of horror and although I haven't personally been playing any horror games I have like many others been watching other people play them on youtube.

Resident evil 8:

Recently a lot of the youtubers I have watched have managed to be able to play this game. In the video they go ahead and are able to play the demo for the game.In the demo we are of course introduced to new characters. Due to this game not being a remake and is actually its own separate game we as the player don't know what is coming which unlike people who had played the original versions of the resident evil 2 and 3 games. When playing the remakes they knew what was coming and what was going to happen. Like usual they have done an amazing job with the graphics design as well as the character design.Not only do we have the demo we do of course have the trailer as well.

In all honesty I am not really one from really watching trailers but this was absolutely amazing. It shows off so many main characters as well as enemies in the game which does a really good job of making the player intrigued and ask questions which they are going to want answers to.

Now the question is. is there anything I can take away from this to add onto my next project and in all honesty I think I can. The main things I feel like I can take away from this is firstly the amount of detail and environmental storytelling they put into their game is amazing and in all honesty I find it to be admirable and I hope that one day I make games which look that good. The second thing I would take is the trailer. I really want to make an impactful trailer for my game and even though my trailer isn't going to look anywhere near as good as this I really want to be able to make an effective trailer which makes the player interested and intrigued.

PT:

Next we move onto PT which although is an old game I still think it was an amazing and incredible game. This game proved that you don't need a massive map in order to make a successful game. This game is perfect t get you little spice of horror. With the level design being really good as well as the character models fitting in perfectly with the game. I am not too sure If I can go ahead and take much from this game apart from the fact that you don't need loads to make an effective horror game. Sometimes simpler can be better.

Pacify:

The next game I have been looking at is Pacify and can I say that this game is actually really good. I really like the fact that the game is multiplayer and that you can enjoy the horror with your friends. The games level as well as the character designs are really good as well. The audio also adds to the horror of the game. This game does well to not head to one certain genre of fear such as a fear of spiders or a fear of the dark. This means that everyone can be scared by it. From this game i would definitely take the level design though as inside the house looks amazing and it is textured really well. I also like that the game is multiplayer so in the future that might be something to look into.

Dead realm:

Lately I have been watching a lot of dead realm videos. I find this gem to be really nice looking and I also lie the game play. The aim to find 10 pocket watches and then having to try and find the exit is a really nice game play choice.I also find the level design to be amazing as well as the character design. I think that they did really well when it came round to making these games. Not only that but the HUD is also really good as well and doesnt take up too much of the players screen. The ability to play as either a civilian or a ghost is really nice as well as it adds more fun to the multiplayer aspect of the game. Your not running away from just a random AI ghost but actually your friend. This would be a really nice feature to add into my game if I had the time and skills to implement it.

[tumblunni]

BONNU GET A VITA

* ok lol so my regular europe psn name is Bunni89 and this america one is Bonnu98 * if any1 want 2 friend * The screen is really hi def??? what?? its actually kinda hard on the eyes cos its in such a small space. like srsly this is the same sort of quality as my tv and its just.. completely unnecessary. I saw this really cool video once that was breaking down the reasons why the ps vita tanked so hard, and the number one was that it just didnt have any idea what priorities make sense for a handheld console. So much focus on being the most graphically intensive one when thats not even something people value as much compared to home consoles, and the money needed to make it as powerful as a home console means that each unit costs loads to make and has to sell at a stupidly high price. And like.. now even after they’ve lowered the price so much its too little too late. And even if it suddenly became a success they still couldn’t make up the money lost from not selling it at £500 a unit. All that and then the game availability problems and the lack of any real gimmick to set it apart compared to the 3DS, and the fact that “its basically the ps4 but worse” isnt really a good selling point, and the fact that it isnt even very portable for its size and the high quality screen is way more fragile and it doesnt have a clamshell design to protect it.. * Basically I can understand why the vita failed. And even I only bought it now simply because there’s like two intriguing jrpgs that were exclusive to it. And they both failed super hard cos of the console’s low audience, aaaa * Anyway lol back 2 me getting dis vita and checking it out, woop woop! * I legit had NO CLUE that it had a touch screen??? Isn’t that kind of a rip off?? Like seriously wtf was it with playstation and xbox around the early wii and ds era just copying the fuck out of touch and motion controls. like seriously noone is gonna buy your thing with an inferior version of a thing they can buy elsewhere. Focus on your actual strengths! * Tho actually the touchscreen is kinda really good? i don’t think its necessarily the quality but just the layout of the console with the horizontal screen in a fairly big size with your hands on each side. its more conveinient for me with my shaky anxiety hand problems, i usually have a lot of trouble using a regular mobile phone! Sucks that nowadays EVERY phone is touchscreen and theyre always so tiny T_T So yeah typing with double thumbs and having a console to grip to steady myself works a lot better. Tho the 3DS’s stylus is equally conveinient, i just keep losing it lol. I wonder why they didnt make it with one of those chains like the pens at the post office? * WHY ARE ALL THE APP ICONS BOUNCING M&MS LOL I mean i guess its not too ridiculous to do spheres instead of the standardized square icon on every pc ever, but why are they full 3D models that have jiggle physics as you scroll the screen. Its semi addictive to poke them but i wonder how much it cost to develop that?? Your console was already a money loser! * I have officially managed to make a fake american account, woo! Its funny that all it needs to confirm you’re correct is a real post code and town name. I just googled random american place names so now my alternate self apparantly livs in fremont, new hampshire. That one sounded the cutest! i am literally in “Town I Made Up, Place That Doesn’t Exist” though. I wanted to make it “Hey I Made This Account Just To Buy Summon Night 5, Fuck U” but yknow.. character limits. * Summon Night 5 is right there in the psn store and i am crying cos i only just found out that ps vita does not have any inbuilt memory. AAAAAA. Moral of the day: do your research! So yeah i now have to wait about a week for a delivery cos i couldnt find memory cards available anywhere but preowned. Sucks that it uses a console-limited mem card system instead of global SDs like the 3DS. Thats another reason this thing will never win! poor underdog console, but also i can completely understand how its failings were its own damn fault. I just hope that like the gamecube its failure inspires the company to learn a lesson and come back with a better sequel, rather than how the dreamcast killed the whole thing. Tho I mean at least sony has the PS4 that’s doing alright, maybe they should just give up on handhelds entirely? * also wtf why does this thing have mobile phone sim card compatibility?? i hope thats not necessary for anything cos there’s no way i’m connecting my phone line to a random gaming company * COME FORTH SOON, NEXT WEEK. BLESS ME WITH ABILITY TO ACTUALLY PLAY ME CONSOLE. It may have barely any games but i will kill for oreshika and SN5!!!

[kpop-drabble]

SEVENTEEN AS DADS

Vernon - The “Cool” Dad - always attempting to be your friend more than a father figure, attempts to get their child to spill the latest ‘gosp’ - “dad what the hell is gosp” “its teenage lingo for gossip, i keep up with you youngsters” - cue eye rolling - he’s incredibly chill about nearly everything and allows them to do whatevee they want, for the most part. - the only restriction is that it can’t be illegal - and if it is he told them to lie about who their father was. - all their friends are jealous over how ‘cool’ of a dad their have, no matter how many times they tell them how uncool he truly is he has everyone tricked that he’s some super dad

Soonyoung - The Embarrassing Dad - insists on making their kids lunch one time and puts an embarrassing “have a good day love you -Dad” in the bag without warning. - all their friends cooed and haven’t let them live it down since. - he’s the type to make embarrassingly bad dad jokes when talking to others and then looks over at their kid for a reaction - a pitiful thumbs up and embarrassed smile is the best kind of reaction that he’s looking for - constantly trying to talk to their kids friends when they’re over - “why doesn’t that one friend come over anymore?” “because you broke out the baby pictures last time and i would rather not relive your hour ling stories about the past, and neither would she”

Seungkwan - The emotional dad - constantly crying - oh my god their kids have never seen a grown man cry so much in their lives - always reminiscing about their kids past and getting emotional about how big they’ve gotten - at every graduation that the child has lives through theres always friends that make comment about his screaming once you get on stage - every picture you have to commemorate this moment has a very red eyed blotchy faced Seungkwan, their child always looks less than impressed. - it’s nice to have a dad so passionate about their child but sometimes you just need someone that wont cry because you’ve made your first purchase with your own money that you made from your first job

Seokmin - The Scrapbooking Dad - always insisting on taking pictures - it doesnt matter the occasion, it doesn’t matter how relevant any of it is, he wants a picture and he wants it now. - his kids could make those “365 pictures throughout the year” collage videos you find on the internet dating back to their toddler years just from how many pictures Seokmin had taken. - he has a bookcase full of scrapbooks hes made - he takes the time to decorate them, with pretty stickers and dates each picture with a short description of each. - its not just a picture book, its a life story showcasing every little insignificant thing that his kids have accomplished since birth. - “dad, can we please take that picture of me on the potty off?” “no, its the first time you took a shit and i didn’t have to clean a diaper, it’s staying for memory sake”

Seungcheol - Over protective dad - they cab only have a phone because he insists on using the find your friends app when his kids go out just to make sure that if anything happens he could always find their kid and help out - if they’re one minute past curfew expect said phone to be blown up with questions about where they are. - “you were suppose to be home at 10:00 its now 10:02, i checked traffic and it is light so there isnt any excuse” - is protective and inforces his rules but isn’t terribly rude and would never actually punish his kids (he’s too soft, but ultimatey just wants the best for them) - interogates any significant other that their child brings home, and as they protest in embarassment he simply says hes making sure to rule out any one not worthy of their time. - always has their best interests in mind though they may not realize it until they’re much older - probably has a bat near his bed so if needed he could protect them from anything and anyone who trys to hurt their kid

Jeonghan - The Charming Dad - all their kids friends are completely endeared by him - they’ve heard the word DILF to describe him one too many times that its starting to take some effect on their mental wellbeing - he’s able to talk himself out of many things and their kids have had to sit by idly as they watched their dad talk up another worker to attempt to get some sort of discount - probably has pictures of the family around the house solely to show off how attractive all of them are when guest comes over - he’s ultimately very proud of how beautiful his family has come out, and wants the world to know about how absurdly beautiful they are compared to other families. - its not opinion its Fact.

Jihoon - Passive but Encouraging Dad - not very good at showing how much they love their kids but try their very hardest without having to say directly that he loves them - shows he cares by encouraging their dreams and never tries to hold them back from their dreams - he may not be very involved in their kids lifes but when they come to him with something they claim to be passionate about he’s suddenly #1 dad. - he’ll always be the first to encourage them to chase after whatever they want - and even if they drop it after a couple weeks because it wasn’t exactly the right fit Jihoon will accept it and continue to support them through any other projects they wished to pursue. - their kids know that he loves them through those kind of actions.

Mingyu - The Expirmentive Dad - always trying out new recipes for dinner - his kids have started becoming wary after the his few failed attempts and know to prepare something to eat afterwards just incase his experiment doesnt work out in his favour - never follows a reciepe - “dad it said a tea spoon not a cup” “it’s better this way, just trust me.” - it was not better this way. - he tries his very hardest to make good dishes for his family and sometimes they actually turn out decent. - and when they dont, no matter if mingyu himself knows it wasn’t the best, his kids say it was good while only eating a couple bites of it - he’s grateful that they eat the prepared foods somewhere that hes not (sometimes he goes to their room and they share their snacks with him, but thats only when he’s failed terribly and hes gone desperate)

Chan - The Involved dad - Their child is apart of a school club? he’ll be apart of it just as much. - “Do you guys want me to make snacks?” “Dad its not necessary-” “i’ll pack snacks.” - always insists on going to parent teacher night to talk with each of their kids teacher one on one, he doesnt do it because he thinks his kids are miss behaving just solely for the opprotunity to be apart of their kids lifes just that much more - was their kids soccer couch for most of their junior soccer days, but when their kids approached them about joining a different team he unwillingly allowed them to do so to allow them to be happy - he still attenda each game and became the most embarrassing side line dad at the game - “signs are necessary” chan ignores their kids as he pours another large amount of glitter onto the atrocious sign with his kids name and number on it.

Junhui - The Teasing Dad - constantly making jokes about their kid, it mostly happens when they have friends over or when theyre at a family get together - some how always managing to make their child the center of attention at the family dinners, each family member taking turns to tease his kid. - he definitely does not attempt to stop it because he was the one that started it and seeing his kids get all embarrassed is kind of a highlight to being a father. - Is probably always trying to get a hug or affection from their child especially when friends are around just to embarrass them that much more - He doesn’t mind being rejected in front of all their friends when he goes in for a hug, because the embarrassed hiden smile that his kid has when they turn back to apologize to their friend is enough of a reward

Jisoo - The Overly-Loving Father - he’s wanted to be a dad since he was a child and now that he’s able to do so he doesnt waste any opprotunity to remind his kid about how much he loves them - sometimes he shows his love in materialistic manners - he buys they loads of gifts for every special occasion and still insists on making them do an easter chocolate egg hunt well into their teenage years - he gets really creative when it comes to things like this so their child doesnt really mind, the chocolate is always a bonus - is always trying to get family outings to be a thing and his favourite holiday is family day. Definitely family day because he can use it as an excuse to force his kids to spend time with him.

Wonwoo - The helpful dad - the stereotype that dads are suppose to be good at physical labour such as fixing cars and doing sports falls short when it comes to wonwoo - he couldn’t necessarily fix their car if they asked him to but he could help them ace their  physics exam - and if they didn’t wish to read a book that was assigned for english, he’s probably already read it front to back more than once and is more than willing to help them out - he’s not too anal about good grades but encourages them to try their hardest - they’ve probably had to sit through a small half hearted lecture about genuinely putting their best into things when Wonwoo feels like their grades are slipping

Minghao - The “I didn’t sign up for this” Dad - never really meant to become a dad but it ??? sort of happened and he enjoys it he just was never ready to become one - therefore he really doesn’t know what to do. - during toddler years he’d make any excuse not to be alone with the baby for too long, too frighten that he’d mess it up so severly that he usually calls over his mom to help out - he’s gotten better over the years but still doesn’t properly know how to dad - tries more to be a friend than a dad - whenever their child is in trouble, lets the other parent do the scolding and then retreats up to their childs bedroom with a bowl of icecream to try and make amends better. -he’s sort of getting the hang of things but their kids highly doubt he ever fully will know what being a parent consists of. - but thats okay, he’s trying his very best.

[robin-hood-for-freedom]

Its been a LONG time since I’v done anything regarding Anita Sarkeesian.  And to be honest, I wasnt going to make a response to this.  But I feel like he actually raises some interesting points that are worth discussing.  

to the skeptics and anti sjw's she'sseen in all ways as a force for bad adishonest critic opportunist a scamartist and ideologue a huge dick 

I guess thats fair.  At this point I dont think most anti-sjws really care about her though.  I will say that, I, personally never got on board with the whole idea that she was a scam artist(though I can see why some people came to that conclusion).  Imo, even if its true(and I doubt it), its largely a red herring.  

so what I'll call the Internet left however she was broadly understood as an all-around decent critic who was unfairly maligned harassed and abused because she was a woman who spoke about feminism and about her unfair treatment on the Internet

Since you are part of the ‘internet left’ I’ll take your word for it.  

I genuinely like Anita sarkeesian I agree with lots of her points and thought she was pretty cool before I knew she was somebody who everybody hated

I’m gonna be honest: Even if I was inclined to agree with anita’s criticism(I’m not), I dont know if I would really like her as a person or say she was ‘cool.’  Her videos and public appearances to me just come across as boring and uninspired.  

To be fair though, my only interaction with her has been through those videos/appearances.  So its possible she’s actually really nice and funny in person.  

even if I didn't like her though I still wouldn't think she deserved the ire of the public you know threats and harassment from people who hated every fiber of her being

Looking back I’m actually somewhat inclined to agree with you.  Aside from the obvious that nobody deserves threats and harassment(although those were grossly exaggerated), I actually think the attention given to her was unwarranted.  That said, I think most of was less hatred for Anita as a person, or even as a woman, and more concerns about her potential influence and how that might affect games(and other media) we love.  

Looking back that influence turned out to be ‘basically none’ but you know what they say about hindsight.  

I'm gonna be looking closely at a few people mostly Thunderfoot and sargon of akkad

I’m going to point out at this point that I’m not really that interested in defending Sargon or Thunderf00t(especially not Thunderf00t).  I have my quibbles with their takes on Anita.  

the first big argument that Anita sarkeesian wants to make that looking at games we can see a general tendency toward centralizing narratives of male and particularly straight male empowerment and what's more that this narrative tends to place the women of video games into some pretty weird positions women are less likely to be the protagonists of games they're more likely to be presented as sexually appealing to have their bodies put on display they're more likely to take on passive or victimized positions as damsels their to be rescued by predominantly male heroes

You cold argue that there are games that do this.  I could point out loads of counter-examples of games that dont.  

But, more importantly, I think, is that she doesnt really make an argument for why this is bad.  And even the limited attempts she does make, you explicitly reject later in this video.  In other words, we’re left with no reason to accept this as a criticism, unless we’ve bought into feminist ideology prior to clicking on Anita’s videos.  

If you want to argue that these videos were meant to be specifically for a feminist audience and that its silly for non-feminists to care, I guess thats fair as far as it goes.  But I dont think thats what you are getting at with this video.  

not being an expert in games myself I can't really go through er work fact-checking each and everyone of those examples besides that's not really something that interests me

I guess thats fair as far as it goes.  I’m actually glad you acknowledge that you dont know that much about games(unlike anita).  But I think you’ll miss a lot of the criticisms of her in that case, which tended to focus on how fairly she was presenting the games she looked at(not very in most cases).  

He then posts and summarizes a Thunderf00t video here, I’m only gonna respond to one point then pick up later(watch the full video for context)

Jamie's girlfriend didn't need to get beaten up we didn't need to see her panties as she was taken away

I pointed this out when I responded to Anita, but compare the amount of Marion porn, to the amount of Chung-li porn, and then tell me how much men desire weak or disempowered women(granted this isnt overly relevant to anything he said, but it was something that always bugged me about anita’s arguments).

Double Dragon might be a story about heroism in some broad sense but it's also a male power fantasy it makes you feel good because you get to play as a badass

No, it IS a story about heroism.  I can agree that the game sidelines and ‘damsels’ Marion(although again I’m not sold on the idea of that being inherently a bad thing).  But the fantasy isnt just about beating people up for no reason, its about being able to protect and save the people you care about.  I’m seriously skeptical that Double Dragon(or most other games) would resonate as much without that aspect.  

I’m skipping most of the rest of the Thunderf00t stuff, because I dont think thunderf00t made the best arguments, and dont have much desire to defend them.  

here's her second and much more important position that games being like that that's a problem Anita isn't just here to make a bunch of neutral statements about what video games are like she wants to say that video games have some relationship to things like sexism misogyny the patriarchy negative and pervasive stuff she sees in our culture

And since I’m not convinced that games can cause people to become sexist or other have other negative views(and neither are you as we shall see).  The only problem is that the games in question offend her feminist sensibilities.  

[these youtubers] nitpick small errors in her analysis see she spoke too broadly about hitman her general observations about video games must be totally off-base

Its not just hitman.  That was just one of many, many examples of her misrepresenting or deliberately using game mechanics to painting games in a worse light than reality is.  Also she shows no understand of how gameplay affects player attention and focus(presumably because she doesnt know as a result of not playing them)

cultivation Theory cultivation theory is an area of research and psychology that attempts to study and demonstrate the impact that media has on people the sorts of behaviors and dispositions it cultivates and when these youtubers talk about this theory it is always to point out that the research has proven it false

Not so much that its been proven false.  But that the effects shown are much more subtle than is commonly portrayed, tends to reinforce previously held beliefs rather than implanting new ones, and may not even apply to games.  Liana Kerzner(funny how you dont cover her despite the fact that she got a decent amount of attention for arguing with Anita), and AydenPaladin have both discussed this extensively, so I’ll just leave links to their videos.  

let's say for the sake of argument that these people are absolutely right about their science every study we've done shows that video games cause no shift in behavior or disposition our research into cultivation Theory has given us nothing but a bunch of bummed out psychologists now assuming all this let's ask a question what exactly would these findings mean to Anita sarkeesian's claim that video games can be harmful

It would mean she’s wrong.  Actually she’s wrong even in the real world where cultivation is a thing, just more subtle and might not apply to games.  

but to me it would mean absolutely nothing and why is that well here's one big reason I don't think that science is actually capable of disproving obvious facts about the wa ypeople work media's abilities are cultivate behaviors emotions and dispositions isn't some incidental point about it that requires further proof rather it's the entire reason why media exists in the first place

You’re conflating two very different things here.  Nobody denies that media has an ‘effect’ in the sense of causing an emotional reaction or giving some new information to people.  But thats a VERY different thing than saying media can alter peoples long-term attitudes, beliefs or behaviors.  

I agree the former is obvious.  The latter isnt.  And in fact the effect media has is pretty small.  

let's do a little thought experiment say a film is made that is unabashed Nazi propaganda let's call it Lubin'sLubin

You obviously dont speak German, but okay.  

every moment in this film conveys an anonymous and an explicit hatred of Jews let's say that this film is so horrendously racist that nobody in society can possibly be influenced by it to become Nazis the vast majority of people watch it critically tear it apart maybe even reflect on how silly and gross Nazism is

So you’re saying this film may, unintentionally, have a net positive effect on society.  Go on.

now if what's argon and Thunderfoot says is true if the only way to say a work of art is toxic is to look at its literal impact on society then we would be unable to condemn Lubin sh Lubin since the film has no tangible effect on anyone's behavior

Oh we could absolutely condemn the film, say its gross or bad or stupid or whatever.  What could not do is say its harmful.  Because it isnt.  

everybody with a brain knows that this movie is bad politically not in a way that means we should ban it but in a way that is worthy of our scorn and disgust

Sure such a film would be disgusting.  But disgust isnt harm.  And to conflate the two is not only disingenuous as fuck, but potentially dangerous.  

By this logic, Anita Sarkeesian’s videos are harmful, because lots of people are disgusted by them.  

watching Anita sarkeesian's videos she does site cultivation Theory a few times says there's a causal relationship between video games being the way they are and people being sexist and to be honest I kinda wish she hadn't said those things

Do I even need to comment?  

you can see that she means something very similar to what we described in our thought experiment we can see this whenever she talks about games it's pretty obvious

Indeed.  Her main reason for condemning video games is that they offend her feminist sensibilities.  So non-feminists have no reason to accept her criticism.  

she didn't wait for the Double Dragon studies to come in and prove that the game causes regressive behaviors and of course she didn't do that because she doesn't have to she is a person who experienced this work of art and she's claiming here that what she saw in it

Or in other words:

it stipulates that violence against women can be understood as erotic

Again, who is the bigger sex symbol: Marion or Bayonetta?  hint: its NOT the one who is passive recipient of violence.  

it just doesn't make sense to reserve our judgments of media to only those things that the work is actively calling for we also have to look at subtext and coding

And the subtext here is ‘kidnapping and beating up women is bad.  And real manly badasses protect and care for the ones they love.’  

keeping with our Nazi propaganda theme which I guess we have here let's use let's use this boy as an example:

image posted for reference.

this image obviously sucks because in the society it was used in it conveyed terrible ideas it serves to implicitly justify racial hierarchy and to normalize the idea that Jewish people were subhuman it

The difference here is the image in question was used in explicit anti-semitic propaganda.  There is a history here that directly links this imagery to Nazism and anti-semitism more broadly.  

Video games dont have such a history.  Even the tropes anita discusses that pre-date video games, such as the damsel in distress dont really have such a history.  The story of Saint George and the dragon(one of the earliest DiD stories, and the oldest anita cites) was about faith and knightly duty, not gender relations.  Hell Double Dragon isnt ABOUT how helpless your grlfriend, but about being the hero who is willing and capable to protect her.  

Skipping some more, because I dont care:

what he[thunderf00t] seems to have forgotten is that you can buy cigarettes under capitalism and you can buy an apple under capitalism cigarettes kill 400,000 people every year but apples they don't do nearly that much damage it's actually said that they keep the doctors away you might think that cigarettes should remain legal and I'm sympathetic to that idea but you'd have a hard time convincing me that they're not harmful to the people who use them

The difference is that we have loads of evidence that cigarettes cause real, tangible harm.  The same cannot be said for media.  Even cultivation theory says that media tends to reinforce existing beliefs than implant new ones.  And its not always clear that those beliefs translate into tangible actions.  

And I’m gonna say it again before anybody brings it up:  disgust is not harm.  

you may think that you can talk about the worth of art from a political or moral perspective but in fact that's just a mirage anything you say about media is just an unverified and likely unsupportable position and you should probably forget about

I would phrase it differently:  You can talk about media from a moral or political perspective all you want.  However, anybody who doesnt share your perspective would then be perfectly justified in simply dismissing what you have to say.  

hate Anita sarkeesian not because of what she says but because of who she is and the damage she causes

More precisely the damage we thought she might potentially cause.  Which admittedly in hindsight was an overreaction.  

they talk about how she sucks because she released her video slowly

Usually its less about her being slow, and more about she failed to keep her kickstarter promises.  I dont really go in for that because because I frankly dont think its that big a deal.  

didn't like being harassed on the Internet

Look, what she has shown as harassment is no worse than what most people(men and women) experience.  The vast majority of it wasnt even harassment but responses and criticisms.  

I guess you could say that online harassment shouldnt be a thing at all.  But I also dont think thats very realistic.  

talk about how she's a fraudulent grifter who gets her lackeys to phony bomb threats so she can make more money

I dont know about the bomb threat thing specifically.  I DO know that she used the harassment she received(real or not) to get attention and money.  

about how she's a fake gamer and so she shouldn't be talking about games

Thats a perfectly valid criticism though.  Media criticism is best done by people who actually have knowledge of the media in question.  

these guys are unapologetically anti-feminist and because of that they see no reason to change media to make it more feminist

So you DO get it!  

and they don't criticize and Anita sarkeesian's work because of cultivation theory I mean where are the studies that show that these videos are causing murder rates to increase

I honestly dont know what you’re getting at here.  The only reason anybody ever brought up cultivation theory is because Anita did first.  

And they dont criticize Anita  Sarkeesian's work because she explicitly calls for immoral actions

Nobody said she did?  Although I think if you read between the lines she has some really negative views towards men.  

and they don't criticize Anita sarkeesian's videos because they exist outside some benevolent capitalist structure I've got some hot news for you Anita sarkeesian's work is actually facilitated by capitalism

I’m not sure what you’re getting at here.  But it does make Anita a massive fucking hypocrite.  

no they hate Anita sarkeesian's work mostly because she says stuff they think is bad she's a feminist who wants various things about games to change and they disagree with her vehemently about it

And more importantly, that with all the attention she was getting at the time we thought the kind of changes she wants might actually start to happen.  Not that her videos would turn game developers into feminists(because lets face it, theres basically zero chance of her videos turning anybody feminist).  But because they might become convinced that there is an audience for the kind of games she wants.  

Like I said multiple times:  We were mostly mistaken about that.  

Theres not really much else here.  he just repeats himself.  so thats all for now.  

[whittlebaggett8]

She’s deaf, blind, and made it to Harvard Law – but Haben Girma doesn’t believe in ‘grit’. Here’s why., Defence Online

Regardless of winning various awards and honors, Haben Girma, 30, thinks championing ‘grit’ requires away society’s accountability to clear away boundaries to results, especially for the disabled.

Rachel Chia/Defence On the web

Haben Girma doesn’t like the phrase “grit”.

When I suggest the phrase as a descriptor at an job interview in Singapore ahead of her talk hosted by the Singapore Committee for UN Girls, Girma’s fingers pause on the refreshable braille display screen she utilizes to consider concerns, and she frowns.

Her signal language interpreter interrupts to inquire what the phrase means. (Girma is aware of what grit signifies, but the interpreter does not.)

Popularised by psychologist Angela Duckworth, the expression – which is something of a cross in between perseverance and passion – is claimed by some to be a better predictor of achievement than talent or smarts. It has considering that been attributed liberally amid startup CEOs as the motive why some firms acquire off, though some others never.

If any one should embody grit, it’s 30-12 months-aged Girma, who is black, blind, and deaf, but graduated from Harvard Law Faculty in 2013, and within just three several years identified herself on Forbes’ 30 less than 30 list.

But the attorney, whose mother and father are African-American immigrants, doesn’t like how the word “puts the load on the person to toughen up and function via challenges”.

“All my successes have been mainly because people around me, these types of as my employers, have been extremely inclusive,” she explained.

All over her childhood, Girma was “fortunate” to attend schools who honoured her requests for disability support. In Harvard, for example, the university provided voice transliteration providers, wherever transliterators described textual content on the whiteboard, and conversations and lectures in course, into a microphone related to her earphones.

Girma’s mother and father were not extremely educated. Her father is an Ethiopian dwelling in California, whilst her mother was a refugee from Eritrea. They only had one piece of tips for their daughter: do well in university.

Girma did, graduating the valedictorian of her calendar year at Lewis and Clark College or university with a Bachelor’s in sociology and anthropology.

The good grades, glowing testimonials and one of a kind private statement sailed her by Harvard admissions to turn into the university’s initial deaf-blind college student.

Girma went on to operate as an legal professional for US nonprofit Disability Rights Advocates, where by she won a landmark lawsuit towards preferred on line library Scribd to make their documents available to blind individuals.  (Most authorized duties involve looking at and composing, which she can do by connecting the braille display to a laptop or computer, she described.) Together the way, she collected a slew of awards and  honours, which includes the Alexandrine Medal. Today, she does community talking to increase recognition about producing goods and providers obtainable to the disabled.

However Girma insists none of this is grit. She does not like the narrative of a disabled human being properly beating disability. Society requirements to adjust, she insists. It requires to take out the obstacles it designed that make it complicated for persons to succeed, significantly all those with disabilities these kinds of as depression.

Go through also: A research suggests millennials are getting to be perfectionists due to the fact they are usually getting evaluated – and it is primary to suicide and melancholy

She also cautions versus burnout. “Lots of folks want to attain every thing, but no just one can do that, she states. “When I am stressed, I give myself time to pause and take it easy. I accept my restrictions, and that aids me to lessen exhaustion.”

“Instead of trying to do anything, I select a person or two factors and try out to do them nicely, and just think that the other factors will get carried out in their possess time.”

Millennials really don’t ought to have to be labelled “entitled”

One more issue Girma doesn’t like? Hearing millennials – her era – labelled as technological innovation-dependent and entitled.

“Many folks frame technology as the lead to of laziness,” she claimed. “While this stereotype might have emerged mainly because of a grain of reality, most millennials I know defy expectations and use technology to accomplish new factors.”

“My very own life is increased by means of engineering,” she provides.

In actuality, a single of Girma’s tech innovations is a keyboard setup that lets folks converse with her – the exact setup made use of at our job interview. To deal with her, a man or woman sorts a concept into a frequent wireless keyboard, which is connected to the braille exhibit. The product translates the enter into braille, which Girma can go through.

As she has a little hearing in the higher frequencies, Girma has trained herself to reply in a substantial speaking tone.

Right after to start with finding the keyboard in 2010 – her first yr at Harvard – Girma was able to converse conveniently with her classmates for the very first time in her existence.

“In center school, I experienced no buddies,” she suggests. “Things like owning a spoken discussion or eye get in touch with, which are the foundation of most friendships and relationships, were not obtainable to me. I felt actually stuck, not acquiring a way to talk.”

She provides: “I felt like individuals ended up last but not least prepared to converse with me in legislation college. They were being extra mature, and significantly less scared to seem uncool.”

The invention has served her to take part in lots of beforehand-inaccessible predicaments, this sort of as authorized networking classes (her interpreter will invite attorneys to variety a concept to start the discussion) – and let her discuss to former US President Barack Obama at the White House in 2015.

Another of Girma’s innovations? Understanding to surf solo as a blind person.

Setting up off with tandem surfing, Girma subsequently observed a school inclined to have the teacher surf instantly beside her, and inevitably constructed up her expertise to surf alone, albeit with basic safety guides close by.

“Surfing… feels like I’m by yourself with the ocean. My entire overall body listens to the ocean by means of the board, constantly modifying as it tilts and sways,” she recounted on her web-site. “I just cannot see where the ocean usually takes me, but I ride anyway, trusting that almost everything will do the job out.”

Apart from surfing, Girma also dances salsa, kayaks, and goes rock climbing and skiing.

Grit is not what aided her do these things. Instead, she explained, it was coming up with different answers.

“I am adventurous, and my curiosity is my most significant push in everyday living. It motivates me to find answers to all my challenges, because I want to knowledge as considerably as doable,” she says. “I’d somewhat sense alive than remain cooped up at property and bored.”

“Be inventive, thoughtful, modern. Persist in finding solutions and you will come up with one,” she claimed. “We can generally come across option methods to get to aims.”

Go through also: Incredible video clip displays how mates assist a deaf and blind Brazil lover delight in the World Cup

The post She’s deaf, blind, and made it to Harvard Law – but Haben Girma doesn’t believe in ‘grit’. Here’s why., Defence Online appeared first on Defence Online.

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[foursprouthealth-blog]

8 People Who Taught Us to Love Our Bodies in 2017

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8 People Who Taught Us to Love Our Bodies in 2017

Generally speaking, 2017 was pretty rough. We can all agree hate reared its ugly head way too many times. But it also forced us to find common ground—and realize we’re not so different after all, no matter what we look like.

With the year (finally) coming to close, we want to celebrate all the regular people who made the biggest difference in how we see ourselves. Check out these eight inspirational badasses who shared their stories and changed the way we look at our bodies.

1. The Woman Who Reminded Us to Love the Things We Can’t Change

This is apart of me I’m not changing. 🚫 Not only do I not have the finances to chance this part of my body, I don’t have the emotionality to change it. To actually undergo the surgery I’ve researched and phoned in about so many times, I can’t do it. ❌ I don’t blame others for going through it, it’s just not something that I can do. I honestly don’t even hate this part of me anymore, through #embracethesquish I have found more and more women who help me accept this part of myself. 🌸 There’s nothinggggg to be ashamed of. A body part that doesn’t look like the body parts you’ve seen PLASTERED in the media, doesn’t make it wrong. Yes it’ll feel wrong to embrace. Yes it’s counterintuitive to love yourself as is. Yes there will be moments where you’re not fucking good at accepting yourself. And you’ll truck through all of them, just like you have with the last x amount of years of yourself. When I get messages from my friends, people from my city, women from other countries, on different continents, within different cultures that tell me I help them love themselves a bit better, I end up loving myself a bit more in the process. GOOD ATTRACTS GOOD. If what you’re doing right now DOESNT feel good, STOP. Start doing something that might be a little scary (but may be a little fun) and try something new. Chasing yourself in circles fuelled by dislike, hate, negativity will NOT equal out to a positive, well balanced, harmonious, loving, soothing, body, mind or soul. If could all just embrace the squish a little more maybe we wouldn’t be as rigid to ourselves and to others. #selflovebootcamp #selfloveisthebestlove #beyourownhero #beautybeyondsize 💞💞💞💞💞

A post shared by K E N Z I E ⚡️ B R E N N A (@omgkenzieee) on Jan 30, 2017 at 8:40am PST

When Kenzie Brenna lost a ton of weight, it didn’t disappear without a trace. It became loose skin, which is what happens to pretty much everyone. So what makes Brenna so special? Rather than obsessing over and hating her imperfections, Brenna started the process of learning to love and accept them. She reminded us how important it is to embrace our bodies as they are instead of pinching and prodding and falling into a circle of self-hate.

Read the full story here.

2. The Guy Who Reminded Us Not to Take the Wellness World Too Seriously

COMPLEX CARBS // Still think that delicious beige food is bad for you? You’re wrong. Why? Let me spell it out for you… . . 1) They taste fucking great and make you happy. 2) They’re brain food. Your think tank runs on glucose and is actually your hungriest organ, using up a load of energy each day. Eating carbs keeps you sharp and awake. (Omg that’s actual science stuff. I’m not even taking the piss. I have no idea where that came from. It just slipped out, sorry.) 3) Dr Heinz and his Alphabet Spaghetti are a prime example of just how complex (and therefore great for your IQ as well as energy levels) carbs can be. You don’t see Algebraic turkey steaks or String Theory coconut oil, do you? Exactly 4) Is anyone else hungry looking at this picture? I am. And I’ve just eaten it. 5) sorry, I’m rambling now. Maybe my glucose is probably low. I should probably have a bag of chips. 6) Speaking of chips. Sunday hangovers would be a whole lot worse without the warming blanket of deep-fried beige to coddle you back to health after too many bottles of blue WKD the night before. . . So, actually, the issue of carbs isn’t complex at all. It perfectly simple. Tell TOWIE to fuck off and say yes to Carbs before, during, after, in and around Marbs. You deserve it.

A post shared by Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) on Nov 19, 2017 at 5:42am PST

As the husband of Insta-famous health blogger @wellness_ed, Edward Lane (a.k.a. @wellness_ted) knows too well how artificial the online wellness community can be. (Does anyone actually flex like that all the time? Do they ever eat anything other than salads?!) Lane created a parody Instagram to tell the world that NOPE, nobody looks like that all the time. And there’s definitely no reason anyone should feel obligated to. In case you forgot, you don’t need six-pack abs to be healthy.

Read the full story here.

3. The 105-Year-Old Who Still Teaches Yoga

If you think you’re too old to do the splits, think again. Lil Hansen is 105 years old and still teaches yoga once a week at the senior center in her hometown of Ludington, Michigan. She’s been doing it for years and has no plans to stop anytime soon. A viral news article published by Hansen’s hometown news station reminded the world that yoga (and fitness) is for every body, not just young ones.

See the video here.

4. The Woman Who Called Out Shapewear for What It Is

Same girl, same day, same time. 💛 Not a before and after. Not a weight loss transformation. Not a diet company promotion. 💛 I am comfortable with my body in both. Neither is more or less worthy. Neither makes me more or less of a human being. Neither invites degrading comments and neither invites sleezy words. 💛 We are so blinded to what a real unposed body looks like and blinded to what beauty is that people would find me less attractive within a 5 second pose switch! How insanely ridiculous is that!? 💛 I love taking these, it helps my mind so much with body dysmorphia and helps me rationalise my negative thoughts. 💛 Don’t compare, just live for you. There is no one on this planet who’s like you and that’s pretty damn amazing don’t ya think. The world doesn’t need another copy, it needs you. 💛 We are worthy, valid and powerful beyond measure 💙🌟 (If you don’t pull your tights up as high as possible are you really human?)

A post shared by Milly Smith 💛🌻☀️👑 (@selfloveclubb) on Jan 29, 2017 at 10:45am PST

Celebs and regular people alike swear by shapewear and its (admittedly amazing) smoothing powers. But Milly Smith, a body-positivity advocate, took to Instagram to remind us how dangerous shapewear can be for our self-perception. It’s important, Smith said, to remember we’re all attractive and worthy whether we have our Spanx on or not.

Read the full story here.

5. The Plus-Size Model Who Highlighted the Beauty of Every Body

As a photographer and plus-size model, Silvana Denker knows how unwelcoming the world can be to plus-size women. To fight back and (literally) highlight the beauty of every body, Denker made a photo project called “Metallic Curves,” where she painted plus-size women in silver and gold paint to capture all their curvy beauty.

Check out the full series here, and read the story here.

6. The Mom Who Redefined What “Bikini Body” Means

Kirsten Bosly, a 41-year-old mother of two, spent years avoiding taking photos with her kids because of how self-conscious she was. But after realizing that one day, photos would be all her kids had left of her, she decided that how she looks in a bathing suit means nothing to the people who love her. The result was an adorable photo at the beach with her kids, which she posted on Facebook along with a super-inspiring message about letting go of shame.

Read the full story here.

7. This “Big Girl” Who Proved You Can’t Judge Someone Based on Their Appearance

Here’s to the big girls who work out. I’ll be honest — it still makes me cringe to refer to myself as big, but at 5’9 and 200+ lbs. it’s an accurate descriptor. I’ve worked out 4-6 days a week every week since February of 2010. That’s almost 7 years. I’ve been vegetarian since August 2015 and vegan since March 2016. I have practiced Transcendental Meditation for 2 years. I eat so many vegetables. I’m healthy AF. And yet my BMI places me squarely in the “obese” category. That’s right — not even overweight. Straight-up obese. My doctor’s office file says I have non-morbid obesity. I don’t think of it that way. I think of my body in terms of the fact that I just did a 52-minute @fitnessblender lower-body workout and I feel great. When I was young, a kid and a teen and even into my 20s, I believed the people who told me I was out of shape, unathletic. I love my dad dearly, but he was one of them. I felt humiliated to huff and puff and turn red and drip sweat when I exercised. I hated to be worse at *anything* than anyone. I saw exercise as punishment. I believed Jillian Michaels when she said I should want to die in the midst of a workout. But I overcame it. I still struggle with my body. But I don’t struggle with how I feel in it. I feel fantastic in it. So fuck BMI and fuck diet culture and fuck Lululemon for not carrying my size. But it doesn’t matter because my workout pants don’t need to cost $90. Here’s to the big girls. We are amazing. And if you’re a big girl who doesn’t work out, you’re amazing too. You have nothing to prove.

A post shared by Katie Karlson (@katieakarlson) on Jan 10, 2017 at 9:29am PST

Katie Karlson is a total badass. She’s 5’9″, weighs more than 200 pounds (yep, that makes her obese according to her BMI), is vegan, and has worked out four or more days per week for the last SIX years. In a powerful Instagram post, Karlson explained how messed up it is that everyone assumes big girls (and guys) are lazy or unfit and how the fitness industry doesn’t cater to her size.

Read the full story here.

8. The Nude Yogi Who Wants You to Love Your Naked Body

When I was younger I tried to make myself look shorter. At first when I was in primary school I was jelous of my tinier friends… They were so cute. People were lifting and holding them in their arms and it looked fun. I felt giant. Also at the same time I did team gymnastic and one year I didn’t qualify for the team like all of my friends did and it was obviously the “first team”. Nobody ever told me why but in my mind it was because I was too tall. I was one head taller than others in that team and because it’s also an aesthetic sport, it would make the team unbalanced. ❤ Eventually boys came in the game… I was taller than all nice boys and I hated it. In particular in all discos where the dance was slow… I tried to have bad posture on purpose to look as short as possible. ❤ Until I started to do modelling I thought that I’m never going to be able to use high heels. That I’m too tall to enjoy beautiful shoes. (And in the “model world” I was hoping that I would be even taller!) ❤ It would have been nice to know at a young age that one day my height could and will be my strenght which I really like. At festival concerts I can see well over all the heads. I don’t need chairs to get to the top closet. Etc. Now I’m proud and very grateful of my every centimeter. I just wanted to tell you how I struggled for many years with my height, if this can give hope to some who are in same situation. 😊 #NYGyoga

A post shared by Nude Yoga Girl (@nude_yogagirl) on Sep 8, 2017 at 10:03am PDT

Nude Yoga Girl might look like she has zero insecurities (she is posing naked, after all), but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In a candid Instagram post, the anonymous yogi-slash-photographer reminded us we’re all insecure—but that doesn’t mean we should hide behind our fear. She opened up about her journey coming to terms with her height and how yoga helped her love her body just how it is.

Read the full story here.

[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn

[loveinnerbouquetzombie-blog]

Will It Alter Compact Enterprise?

A Grandparents Guide To Selecting Age Ideal Toys

I can see desktop computer system methods, which are tethered in our household workplaces, getting a thing of the previous. As laptops and e-guide movement into the faculty system, our children will come to be made use of to their school operate, amusement, and connectivity carried close to in a person machine and accessible from anywhere. What Became of the 1930's Family Radio? Also, it truly is not unusual in a house for all people to be off undertaking something different - maybe I am on my notebook, my daughter may be reading a guide, and so on. Why do I need to have a Tv set set for the household to get all-around? Will it have the very same destiny as the family members radio that all people collected all over to pay attention to in the 1930's? My daughters both equally know how to observe World wide web Television reveals and movies on their computer systems. And sure, both of those my daughters experienced laptops or web publications by kindergarten. As extensive as they are just about every finding to check out the Television set show of their selection, I will not have to pay attention to them argue around whose transform it is to look at their show on the massive display.

Backpack distributors also know that compartments play enormous roles in tempting consumers. Laptops, cellphones, wallets, IDs and also other necessities ought to be segregated and place in the most secure area in the bag. This will permit straightforward accessibility and give more security to tiny electronic merchandise this sort of as cellular phones, pill pcs and other valuables. Loads of purchasers like baggage that have loads of compartments than some others that do not. Backpack distributors have to contemplate factors like these in buy to establish their stocks and present what specifically prospective customers are looking for. Apart from these, the craftsmanship is also sizeable and superior top quality components need to be utilised to be certain that the bags will be durable. Acquiring the right sorts of rucksacks to offer is very critical to keep on being on best of the competitors. There are lots of other bag sellers who are eager to buy high-priced objects just to assure that their products has good top quality. For Best Hero if you want to be a successful bag distributor and would like to specialize on the sale of backpacks, retain these in mind to guarantee that shoppers will like your products. Marie Alvarez is a trade skilled concentrating on the South American area. To look through her useful info about handbag distributors, remember to simply click listed here Morel Business description.

Pokemon is quickly one of the most preferred video game sequence in the world. Courting back again to 1995, it has given that grow to be a cultural phenomenon, with a number of game titles getting unveiled throughout several devices. It appears to be like the cell sector will be hit with a further title in 2016: Pokemon GO. For those people who are curious to know what this approaching application will be all about, below are some of the most essential specifics a Extensive Island advertising and marketing agency can draw your focus to. Pokemon GO is an approaching mobile game that will be coming to equally Apple and Android units. The aim of the activity is to discover Pokemon in true-daily life eventualities, employing your phone’s camera and augmented truth engineering alike in buy to generate struggle-like scenarios. Fundamentally, the battles players have knowledgeable in previous game titles will now have a far more realistic flare to them. Simply just put, this app attained huge consideration and it is straightforward to see why. Was 1 of the to start with Shall we day? I performed. I definitely enjoyed it for what it was again then. I still perform it and I have savored most of the substories they included. Especially these with CG, they nevertheless have a few substories only for folks who are eager to pay out which is a little bit unfortunate but easy to understand. A further just one of their previously online games, I played this when it was with Gree. I have relished it much far more. For the Gree model I was following Sasuke and in the present 1 I am Hanzo's route. It is really been pleasing so much, hopefully I will finish his route quickly to do a suitable review. I try to remember viewing this close to back then but only playing as a result of it now. I am just about close to the ending and I decide on Alvah as the major route. He is fairly sweet total but far more will appear when I in fact end his route. A own favourite of mines from their video games.

It probably “warrior”, “leader”, “best self” or some thing else that resonates for you. It truly doesnt make any difference what phrase will work for you, what issues is the essence and what that term indicates. What matters is becoming awake and holding that essence as you go about your everyday existence. As you seem at what the impression is you want to build – at function, at household, for you. Its up to you. It starts with you to start with aspiring to be your have hero. And bonus, it will assist you be an even far better hero for other individuals. Regardless of what sort of do the job I am hired to do, or the agendas of my purchasers, keeping the essence of becoming their have hero in their existence is one thing that is crucial in our work. So typically, the phrase “hero” may perhaps by no means even be made use of its a lot more of the power of it. It is the power of understanding that “the buck stops in this article, if I want a thing in my lifetime to change or expand, I am the one particular who gets to phase up.

[gamesdownload-blog]

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download is a great game.We offer opportunity to download Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach PC Game Download for PC.You can download Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach PC Game Download Game for free, is available now on our website.If you want to play this amazing game, can you get it in our website.

  Like a sentient species that has newly obtained interstellar go back and forth, the quite a few guises of the Warhammer universe have undergone a scattering within the final few years. Morphing from the carefully-curated video games Workshop property that most effective the now-fallen large THQ become allowed to touch, Warhammer is now a (nonetheless carefully-curated) plethora of titles spanning fairly a lot every genre short of soccer management. Oh, wait, no, there is really a type of as smartly. Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download is yet a different of those titles, arriving with existential inevitability simply as the furor round CA’s Warhammer fantasy total war title has calmed a little.

And or not it’s returned to the grim darkness of the a long way future the place there is just struggle. once once more, developer Slitherine return to this sunny environment to convey more room Marine-on-okayviolence, as they did in their old time out, Armageddon. This time round although, things are on a somewhat greater intimate scale, with contraptions representing squads or one larger unit such as a tank. therefore the ‘epic scale’ mass warfare believe of Armageddon is replaced with something a lot extra intimate.

And you understand with gaming, if you happen to in fact boil it down, it involves best of existence. How lots enjoyable are you having? a bit lack of polish will also be forgiven if the online game is so a whole lot fun you barely be aware the technical shortcomings. Sanctus reach? it be many of the means there. but when you had a storm bolter to my head and i become pressured to be completely sincere, i might must admit that for the rate point there are just a few too many areas which are tough. omitted elements and bad UI can take away from one of the most fun. 

So that you’re main your intrepid space Wolves in an assault on orkish positions. you have got taken the time to position your Whirlwind armoured artillery on raised floor overlooking the battlefield, and your airships are spotting for you, permitting you to rain devastation down on the enemy. Sensing a sea exchange within the stream of combat, you capture the initiative and storm the enemy traces with Rhino Infantry combating motors filled with squads of courageous house Marines. achieving a suitable entrance you dump your troops… after which get slowed down in shuffling in the course of the embarked instruments with a view to find the ones you wish to sell off. in reality, here is done via disembarking every person after which re-embarking the ones you didn’t wish to disembark within the first area. if you’re getting fed up with me asserting ’embark’ and ‘disembark’ time and again, think about how it feels for those who’re really attempting to do it in the warmth of combat.

However this little annoyance doesnt put you off and you are back at it, working out how your handful of area Marine gadgets can perhaps stand up to the continual spew of the greenskin plague. You bring your effective dreadnaught to the flank to give protection to your inclined aspect. It shreds and rips their instruments apart. It in fact feels powerful, but then you definately understand these all right are many. however you understand on your intestine, there are too many of them even for the brave immortal that resides inside the mighty machine. but then you definately see your 2 bike units have nevertheless received their flip left, and they’re speedy ample to reach the enviornment this turn. You speed them over to lend aid, however make certain they do not get too shut, yet, lest they get pulled from their metallic steeds.

 In the meantime across the different side of your line you see the daft alright are piling up their wrecked machines, which is forming a barricade for you to use towards their masses. You channel the enemy between their personal wreckage and a hill, forcing them into a capturing gallery, the place your space Marine infantry and Multi Melta units take a seat waiting. Your hero with his vigour glove engages them in melee, blocking their primary route forcing all their contraptions to sit and wait to get previous him. they’re very well though, and that they shoot into their own front strains to get an occasional hit towards the hero. but you comprehend this can final a long time and it will buy you all the time you need. but then your coronary heart sinks. From the fog of conflict you see the massive steel monstrosity lurching forward against this bottleneck. Gargant!

 This is the variety of aspect that may ensue and also you get a true feel of unit aim. Put the right unit in opposition t the proper enemy and the method works. You turn the tide just like the elite area Marines should.

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game System Requirements

MINIMUM:

Title: Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download OS: Windows 7, 8, 10 Processor: 2GHz Memory: 2 GB RAM Graphics: 512Mb DirectX 9 Compatible Graphics Card DirectX: Version 9.0 Storage: 2 GB available space Sound Card: DirectX Compatible Sound Card

  The crusade modes are, frankly, unfinished. There are clean screens where mission historical past text may still be, and attempting to navigate the menus for the campaign (together with a bemusing troop levelling gadget) can regularly be extra of a problem than the battles themselves. here’s with the aid of no capability a deal-breaker, you take into account. as soon as once more, it appears like its just a remember of a pair greater man-hours necessary within the dev studio. because it stands in the mean time, Sanctus reach teeters on an unsteady precipice between Alpha construct, Early entry and full free up, with out tidily falling into anyone camp. no doubt a lot of these issues can be mounted after liberate (and with a bit of luck might be), however we’re once once again lower back at the query that defines this era in computer gaming: should we be purchasing unfinished video games? 

 So you’re probably caring. however don’t panic too lots! The love that the studio feels for the atmosphere is apparent in every design determination. Tactical alternate options abound, and whereas I moaned about it a second ago, the potential to stream troops round in Rhinos is a superb tactical perk in game, despite its bad person experience implementation. whereas the enemy AI is under stellar, it simulates orkish tactics smartly. they will swarm your positions, and cause you all manner of issues as they engage together with your recon contraptions, pinning them down in melee fight unless that you could spare the reinforcements obligatory to free them up and limp them again to your traces. Unit variety is respectable, ranging from small 4-man trooper squads (once in a while led through special commanders along with your average Warhammer 40K loadouts) to Titans and Gargants. devices can move and battle, or battle and circulation, with area of interest-use fight-movement-fight orders (with dramatically-decreased circulation range after the assault) allowing for set-piece force-by way of attacks and fighting withdrawals that favour instruments designed for that, like quickly bike devices.

Espite the clear love of the surroundings that the designers have applied, there is a determined lack of heritage fluff on where you’re and what you might be doing. This looks unusual – Warhammer 40,000 all started existence as an easy sci-fi miniature wargame with a Tolkien-like attention to aspect, and to focal point on the video game and brush over the fluff does not take a seat right at all. basically, it feels very a lot like the storyline and heritage detail are nonetheless to be implemented. Yet yet another region the place it maybe appears like Slitherine ran out of time. 

 There remains polish to be done by means of the devs before or not it’s here’s a cultured adventure, but loads of the considerations can be ignored once you get an hour or two into the core video game and you are figuring out how to cling a line against the waves of greenskin. tons of the central gameplay is there, and there are lots of excellent ideas and instruments to lengthen tactical latitude. I think greater patches are in certain, with a new one out today to accompany Sanctus Reache’s unlock date.

 With Sanctus attain, Slitherine are just now starting to exhibit what they are definitely in a position to within the sci-fi approach area and i seem forward to seeing how this Warhammer 40K partnership seems over the arriving years.

 Eventually, here is the aspect – Sanctus reach is a groovy and fun flip-based 3D wargame that fanatics of Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Full Version PC Game Download will little doubt lap up. I had a lot of enjoyable with it and that i’m certainly going to be stepping again into our darkish human future for extra.