#apparently he took her to nyc as a birthday present

[nicoscheer]

X

Recent Alex Turner

[tngrace]

Bright Lights, Big City

This is for one of my best friends in the whole world. Today is her birthday and I wanted to write something for her. I hope you love it boo, @justkillingtimewhileiwait

read here on A03; 911 LS masterlist

The Strand-Reyes household always looked forward to the two weeks before Christmas. TK and Carlos had kept with tradition even in their newest positions as paramedic and detective and saved vacation for the week of Christmas and New Years. This year they were leaving the day after Christmas really early in the morning to go to NYC to visit Gwyn. It was the first time the family was travelling to NYC and there was a lot of excitement and a lot of anxiety. Carlos had never flown before and he was a little anxious about it if he were being honest. TK assured him it would be fine, but Carlos wasn’t sure he believed him. 

Christmas Day was eventful as always. Gabriel, Andrea, and Owen came over for breakfast and to watch the kids open presents. Later in the afternoon, the rest of the crew and Carlos’s partner came over for dinner and to play with the kids. Carlos and TK took the time the kids were occupied with their aunts and uncles to finish the last minute packing. “TK are you sure about this? Ryder hasn’t been feeling the best, airports are going to be so crowded, it’s snowing in NYC, and what if the flights are delayed or….”

TK cradles Carlos’s face. “Deep breath babe.” They take a couple of exaggerated breaths together. “I know you’re nervous about flying, but I promise it’s not that bad. The kids will be fine. We’ll pack his allergy meds. We got this.” 

Carlos nods as he rests his forehead against TK’s. “We got this,” he murmurs. 

“Maybe I’ll blow you before we get on the plane,” TK smirks as he wiggles his eyebrows at Carlos. 

“And who would watch our children?” he deadpans back. TK laughs at him and goes back to packing. “I can do it tonight once they’re asleep. We just have to be at the airport by four in the morning.” 

“You’re a menace,” he grunts as he shakes his head. “But I love you anyways.” Carlos’s smile is bright as always when declaring his love for TK and TK returns the smile with equal amounts of love. 

Their friends and family eventually leave, and TK and Carlos get the kids in bed. TK makes good on his promise, which does help relax Carlos, but he'd never admit that to TK. They get the car packed and load the sleeping kids. Thankfully, they stay asleep on the drive to the airport and all through check in. Ryder is slightly fussy when he wakes, but TK gets him his meds and juice and he settles right into TK’s chest. Sofia is her normal happy self when she wakes. She’s excited to be going to see her Mimi, but she’s also picked up on her Papa’s nerves about flying. They’ve both done their best to reassure her, but she really feeds off Carlos. The kids are awake for about an hour, when they are called to board. TK sends Gwyn a text letting her know they’re boarding and will see her soon. 

Unfortunately for Carlos, their seats are over the wheels. They’ve switched kids hoping that TK’s calm demeanor will help Sofia stay calm. Ryder is dozing on Carlos, the meds making him sleepy when they start moving. Carlos is doing his best to stay calm, but honestly he’s freaking out. When they start climbing in the air, the wheels come up, and it's loud. Carlos tenses even more as Sofia starts crying. She buries her face in TK’s neck as he tries to calm her. “It’s fine; it’s going to be ok, baby girl. Nothing is wrong. They’re just pulling the wheels up.” He rubs her back as he calms her, and he squeezes Carlos’s hand. “It’s ok babe. Everything is fine.” 

Sofia calms down at TK’s quiet reassurances and thankfully the rest of the flight goes smoothly. Ryder is a little grumpy at being woken and jostled as they get off, but Carlos does his best to keep him happy. They head over to baggage claim, TK letting Gwyn know they were getting their luggage. The kids stayed in their parents arms, both clinging to them at the loud and busy airport. It was a shock to all of them except for TK. “You’ve got to be getting me,” TK groans when he reads Gwyn’s response. 

“What’s wrong?” Carlos takes Sofia so TK can get the luggage. 

“Mom’s at the office. We have to get a cab.” TK’s frustration with his mom is apparent, especially since Gwyn knew they were coming. Carlos nods as they push their way through the airport. “Cab won’t be that bad.” TK gives him the side eye and Carlos just sighs. Before they’re able to flag down a cab, TK spots someone he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again. “TK?” 

“Enzo?” TK asks with confusion. 

“Yea. Hey kid. Your mom said you were coming into town. I thought she was picking you up.” 

“Uh… yea. She was supposed to, but apparently she’s still at the office. We were just catching a cab. Wait… you’ve been in contact with mom recently?” TK was confused because he thought Enzo and his mom were done a few years ago. 

Enzo looks between him and Carlos holding the kids as he scratches at the back of his neck. “Uh… yea. We.. uh… I take it she hasn’t told you?” 

“Told me what exactly?” TK can feel Carlos becoming increasingly more uncomfortable with the situation as people mill around them. It’s hard for his husband to turn off his cop brain, and large crowds tend to put him on edge, especially when the kids are with them. Add that to a complete stranger to him that is putting TK on edge, and Carlos’s patience wears thin quickly.

Enzo seems to want to avoid answering TK’s question. “Why don’t I drop you four off at your mom’s and she’ll explain everything?” 

“Yes. Thanks,” Carlos pipes up. He knows TK would’ve argued until he got his answers, and he doesn’t blame him, but he’d be happier if they got out of the airport. TK gives him the side eye again, and Carlos just shrugs nodding to the kids who have both buried their faces in his neck at this point. TK nods his assent, and they follow Enzo to his car. Enzo helps TK load their luggage while Carlos gets in the back with the kids. They’d brought a car seat for Ryder so Carlos strapped it in while Sofia held Ryder for him. “Thank you baby girl,” he grins as he takes Ryder strapping him in. He makes sure Sofia is strapped in as he settles between them, and TK gets in the front with Enzo. The car ride to Gwyn’s place is silent, and the kids can pick up on the tension. “Papa me want out,” Ryder cries when the tension filled silence gets to be too much for him. 

“It’s ok buddy. We’ll be at Mimi’s in no time,” he tries to comfort him. He gives him his stuffed dog that he absolutely loves, and Ryder settles some. When they get to Gwyn’s TK is out of the car before Carlos can even blink. “TK come on,” Enzo says, getting out following him. 

“No. You don’t want to explain anything so there’s nothing to say. My son’s allergies are acting up, my kids feed off tension, and this is Carlos’s first time in the city. It's not fair to them for mom to be pulling some drama right off the bat. We’re tired. I’ll talk to mom later.” 

“TK…” Carlos gets the kids out as TK slams the trunk shut. 

“Enzo, you’ve always been straight with me. You’ve always been good to me. I don’t want to jeopardize that by saying the wrong thing right now. So I’m going to go upstairs and get my family settled, and I’m sure I’ll see you this week if my assumptions are correct.”

Enzo just nods and steps back. “Nice to meet you,” Carlos tells him as he follows TK inside the fancy apartment building. They get on the elevator and head upstairs. Luckily the bellhop knows TK and lets them into the apartment since TK doesn't have a spare key. Carlos is in awe at how gorgeous it is. The apartment is immaculate, and the view is breathtaking. “Uh.. TK,” Carlos says holding the kids. 

“Yea?” TK asks, giving him a confused look. 

“This place is… the kids will…” 

TK chuckles softly as he walks back over to his husband. “Yea… mom’s place is really nice, but she offered to let us stay here. She knows the kids won’t be perfect. It’s fine. I promise,” TK says, reaching for Ryder. 

“Daddy… me snuffy,” he says, rubbing his eyes and sniffing. 

“I know little man. Let's get settled and get some medicine and juice?” Ryder nods as TK takes him. 

“Papa, can I go look around?” Sofia asks. 

“Yea baby girl. Just.. be careful.” Gwyn’s apartment is honestly putting Carlos on edge because of how perfect it is. 

“Carlos, come here,” TK quietly demands. 

He sits down beside TK on the couch. Ryder has taken his medicine and is content sitting on the couch with them for the moment. “It’s ok babe. I know it looks like a lot, but she’s not going to be mad if they get it a little dirty.” 

“I know… it’s just a lot… it’s just not home.” He gives TK a bashful shrug. He is looking forward to exploring TK’s city, but he feels like he needs some sleep and comfort. 

“I get it.” TK gives his hand a squeeze with a reassuring soft kiss. “So tonight we’re ordering some of my favorite takeout and having a night in,” he smiles as Sofia rejoins them. 

"Sounds good," Carlos smiles. TK takes care of ordering the takeout while Carlos takes a quick shower to wash away the traveling grime. Ryder joins him letting the steam from the shower help his stuffy nose. "Feeling ok little man?" Carlos asks, scrubbing his head with shampoo. 

"Mecine hewps," he grins up at Carlos. 

"It sure does," Carlos chuckles. Once they're done, Carlos dresses in some sweats and gets Ryder in his pj's. Sofia takes a quick shower next and gets in her pj's. By the time that's done, the food has arrived and still no Gwyn. Carlos can tell it's grating on TK's nerves that she's at the office, but he's trying not to let it show to the kids. They're all in bed by the time Gwyn shows up. 

The next morning is rough. TK and Gwyn get into a huge argument before she goes to work. TK apologizes to Carlos, but Carlos assures him everything is ok. They take the kids out to tour the city and all the places TK loves. The kids absolutely love the snow, and TK insists on building snowmen and making snow angels in the park. The kids have a blast, but Carlos hates the cold. Texas usually doesn't get this cold, and it leaves him feeling cold all the time. TK is highly amused at how grumpy Carlos gets when cold, but he doesn't mind the extra snuggles from his husband. 

It took until two days before they're supposed to leave before Gwyn takes time off work and actually talks with TK. Carlos and the kids hung out in the guest room watching TV, and Carlos just prayed the TV was loud enough to drown them out. Her and Enzo reconciled to an extent; they'd been hooking up when time allowed, but she didn't want TK to get his hopes up. TK had to remind her he was a grown adult that lived in another state. As long as she was happy, he didn't care what she did, but he didn't like the lying and secrets. He especially didn't like her working over their vacation when they came to spend time with her and he definitely let her know it. They eventually talked it out, and Enzo joined them for dinner that night at a fancy restaurant of Gwyn's choosing. It was definitely more high end then Carlos would have chosen, but it was nice and thankfully the kids were well behaved. 

Carlos had enjoyed seeing TK's city and where he grew up. He loved seeing his husband in that different light, but he honestly couldn't wait to get back home. The cold weather had not done any favors to Ryder's allergies, and Gwyn spent their last day nagging TK about how they were taking care of him, and what they should be doing differently. Carlos’s nerves were honestly frayed and he knew Sofia was feeding off the tension from him and between TK and Gwyn. "Mom, seriously. Just let us be for the night and tomorrow we'll be back in Austin," TK finally said having had enough. The look of surprise on Gwyn’s face was honestly amusing because she was honestly clueless when it came to TK at times. Thankfully after that little blow up, they were able to pack and get the kids settled for the night. "If we ever come back, we're getting a motel," TK whines as they climb in bed. "I honestly thought she'd be better with the kids. I'm sorry this week has been so stressful," he whispers, kissing apologies into Carlos's skin. 

"Stop. You have nothing to apologize for. This week has been fine, and I've loved getting to see your city. Just maybe… come back when it's warmer." It gets the laugh he was hoping for, and they eventually drift off to sleep. 

The plane ride back to Austin is a little smoother. Carlos nor Sofia like it any better, but they at least knew what to expect. They were all definitely glad to be home, and if it was a few more years before they went back to NYC well they blamed work for keeping them busy. 

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[nade2308]

First Lines of Last 20....

Guidelines: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20,  just list them all.) Choose your favorite opening line, tag some friends!

Tagged by @impossiblepluto. Thanks friend!

(And just as always, I deviate from the mold and I give you more than just the first lines and/or my favorite lines 😈)

1. You don't know you are beautiful

Jack was so pissed. He was thrumming with nervous energy and was itching for a fight. Especially with that good for nothing, piece of shit, pretentious and pompous guy they were sent to retrieve because he had valuable intel the Phoenix stumbled upon by chance.

2. Catch you when you fall

Scott was always ready to push himself further, just that one step towards the tipping point. He thought if he went harder, and longer, that it will yield better results, but it wasn't always the case. That frustrated him even more and then he was angry at himself for doing that to himself and his friends. And to his dad. His dad who bent himself forwards and backwards to make sure Scott had everything he needed and more.

3. Coming home to you

You know that feeling when you want something so bad, but you have to wait for it? Yeah, Mac was feeling like that now. He was this close to losing it after the op ended. He couldn't wait to get back to Jack. Well, get back to Jack and get laid in the process.

4. "There's still time to change the road you're on"

Jack was in Texas for the birthday of his nephew and it just happened that his nephew was best friends with the kid of one of Jack's old flames. Well, more like a summer relationship, but seventeen year old Jack thought she was it. They had a thing that was actually cute and sweet. He took her out on dates at the local pizza place, and she took him to community events.

5. 98.Separated

Alina Chernyshevsky was a Russian scientist working at a lab in LA, on a scholarship who was kidnapped by a rogue crime group almost a week ago. The Phoenix was tasked with recovering her and capturing any of the members of the group they could find. It turned out that the son of a banker, the daughter of a businessman and the brother and sister, the kids of one of the most powerful Romanian crime groups had one thing in common. They wanted to get out from under the shadow that their parents put them in. So they formed their own union, and thanks to the ties Andrei Bogdan, their leader, had from his father's world, they quickly made their way up in the underground dark world. Climbing up the ladders, they did the odd jobs here and there, hits on important people for hire, and it was based on their combined knowledge of the finances, the system and the law, that they stayed undetected and under the radar for so long. Until Alina discovered some sample or another in the lab that was brought for testing and she made herself a target and was kidnapped in broad daylight.

6. Dye Hard

It wasn't like it was something he was dying to try. He was just looking at pictures of people with wonderfully done hair. Which happened to also be dyed in all the colors of the rainbow and more. It was just research. For an experiment. He was sure he was going to be told off again for experimenting so he kept it just to himself.

7. Sweet child o' mine

Riley woke up to the persistent ringing of her phone. She was having a very nice dream, drinking mai-tai's, at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, and now she was brought back to reality by the shrill tone of her phone.

8. Mac and Jack + softness

They had experienced bad missions before. It wasn't that uncommon, since almost every mission they worked on turned bad real fast. But there were some missions that took bad to the next level.

9. Jack + migraine + birthday

Mac was shivering even with the blanket wrapped around him. They were on their exfil flight, and the heat was on for his sake, but Mac's worry wasn't for himself, but for Jack. Jack, who was squinting at the bright sky and had his head tilted in an awkward angle because apparently he was hurting. And Mac had a pretty good idea what was the cause.

10. 9.Helpless

The drive back to Mac's place was a blur. Jack focused on the road and tried not to think of what they were told or the treatment that might have reversed all of their hard work on making Mac's hands heal and be okay.

11. 72.Painless

When Mac first noticed the car that was tailing him, he was several blocks away from Jack's place. They were supposed to have a movie night with the team, Jack already texted him to tell Mac that Riley was there with him.

12. 26.Flinch

Mac jerked away from the hand that was shaking his shoulder and immediately backed up to the corner of the bed. Someone was talking in a low voice, but Mac was still a bit disoriented and couldn't place the voice. Or the words.

13. 12.Confusion & 26. flinch

When Mac woke up, he could tell that something was different. There wasn't a creepy stare to watch over him, nor the blinking dot on the camera in the corner.

14. 5.Bruised

Jack let his kid take his fill by looking him up and down. Jack knew that he looked a little bit worse for wear, but that was normal in their line of work. This time however, it was from something else. And judging by the way Mac was eyeing him, he didn't manage to hide it well.

15. 56. Begging

Mac wanted to scream. It was hurting him to just breathe, but the pain was unbearable. He didn't know if the lash that caught his side, or the one that split the skin above the small of his back, hurt more.

16. Jack Sr. + Wrist Cuff

It takes all his willpower not to go back to the room he just vacated. He promised Riley and Mac that he'll take a break. It was nonnegotiable. Mac went so far as to tell him to go and take a good sleep. That Mac wasn't going to vanish again. He promised.

17. Fire Pit + Nightmares

Mac didn't know what woke him up. He's sure it was something and not a sound he made up in his dream. Mac turned around in bed and for a moment he was a bit disoriented. He blinked a few times and then looked at the digital watch on his nightstand. It was a little after 2am.

18. "Whenever your world starts crashing down, that's when you'll find me"

"Hours later (Jack's not sure about the time, he left his watch at home) the party is dying down. He is watching the night lights twinkling in the distance, mixed with lights from building windows, and homes and offices. LA is alive as always, traffic present even in this late hour. Everyone knows that NYC is the city that never sleeps, but Jack wants to argue how LA doesn't fall far behind the Big Apple. Especially since Jack has watched this city in all the times of day and night and can attest to that."

19. Si te doy mi corazón, lo tratarás con ternura

1. Tickling

Mac was studying for an exam and Jack was bored. It was one of those days. Really, there was a lot to be done in the house, and Jack barely had a time for himself and Mac these days, but on a rare night where he had absolutely nothing of importance to do… and Jack was bored. 

20. The Center of Their World

Mac was writhing in Jack's lap, and Jack moaned at the drag of Mac's cock against his hip as Jack had Mac's ass spread and a finger inside him already.  He instinctively backed up against the headboard of their ridiculously big bed, and threw his head out because the contact between him and Mac was explosive in the least.

Tagging: @sabbystarlight @82tweeder @dixons-mama @improvidus @panchostokes @erinsworld @nativestarwrites @kerkerian @starryhc @thesammykinz @dont-stop-believin-in-klaine @demonicsoulmates @rai-knightshade @telltaleclerk and whoever sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged.

[elichorph]

OH SHIT???? did you see avery jeong buying princess bandaids at the local cvs after punching out somebody’s car window??? anyways, he’s a legacy and a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a 1st year grad student majoring in mechanical engineering. they are as strong willed as they are naive.

hello, i am back with my third character. yes this is my second character that has a 5 letter name that starts with an a. yes this intro is extremely long. if you read it i will send you a gif of your fav celeb to thank you.

stats:

full name: avery tobias jeong nicknames: ave age: twenty three birthday: march 8, 1998 ( yeah he’s technically 22 right now but he’ll be 23 soon enough ) chart: pisces sun, aries moon, cancer rising siblings: one ( lilia, younger sister ) gender: cis male pronouns: he / him sexuality: bisexual & biromantic height: 6′0 hair color: black tattoos: random tattoos on his arms, faded hand tattoos (specifically an angel on his left hand) piercings: right earlobe ring

blackmail:

( violence & drugs tw )

he had an unplanned child at nineteen with his ex-girlfriend who he now has little to no contact with. his ex dug up a public intoxication charge that avery’s family had paid to cover up in order to place a restraining order on him and deny him custody of the child.

he was involved in an underground fighting ring for multiple years as a means to make money after being cut off by his family. however, he always took fights too far and was banned from the ring in new haven after he nearly killed one of his opponents.

family:

if you’ve already read lilia’s intro then you can skip this because it’s the same thing!

ya’ll ever read one of those drug ring ao3 fanfics where y/n is dating the sexy drug cartel leader? well that’s their family!

generational family blood money because that’s how cartels work i think. started running + dealing three generations back with their great-grandparents in order for them to make a living. it wasn’t until the so-called business was handed down to their grandparents that they wanted to expand and generate more money. the big pharma cover was created in order for them to manufacture, distribute, and supply at a larger scale. present day, their family name has notoriety with other cartel and mafia families. 

basically avery was supposed to take over because he was the oldest right, but lilia did not want that at all. their parents started favoring avery and schmoozing up to him a little bit to get him to say yes (even though avery was fully prepared to give lilia the position) and lilia was like! what the fuck! so she told their parents about this one time that avery accidentally blabbed the family secret to a stranger at a party which broke their one rule of keeping it a secret. their parents wanted nothing to do with him anymore and completely cut avery off and kicked him out of the family. 

everyone knows that avery and lilia are siblings, even though they don’t really know the actual details about their past together because avery doesn’t say anything about his family and the cartel is a secret. now that they are both at yale and in the elites together they are just kinda like haha awkward <3 they basically would just tell everyone that they grew apart if other characters tried to pry but also lilia is now telling people that avery fucked up a business decision which is why he left the family and avery is like alright but good luck trying to get other info out of them! xo, the jeongs

present:

after being kicked out of his family, avery booked it to new haven to attend yale. he was able to score a full ride after graduating as the valedictorian of a specialized school for science in nyc and for continuously staying near if not at the top of his class. literally this man is a casual genius. he will get drunk as hell and talk about math for the entire night even if you don’t care. avery joined the elites in his junior year and even though he technically is a legacy from his family, he told them that if he was going to join, he wanted to be recruited for his academics because fuck if he was going to use his family name!

to expand a little more on blackmails, avery was broke as shit after coming to new haven. he still is, but he literally had so little money to his name and eventually found an underground fighting ring and made money by winning matches through that because he is Beefy and a Unit and his anger issues could be released <3 but he would always go a little too hard and would near murk his opponents, especially this one time that caused him to be banned from the ring. now for money he just fixes up people’s air conditioners and fridges and shit and also works maintenance at a hotel chain around connecticut to get money when he really needs it <3 literally if you need something fixed hit him up and he’ll be happy to do it but he would also love if you made him dinner to thank him because he has eaten too much kraft mac n cheese.

when avery was a sophomore, his girlfriend of a few months accidentally got pregnant whoops <3 and he was ready to literally drop everything for his girlfriend and daughter, but his girlfriend didn’t want that because she was lowkey a bitch! she ended up using a secret that avery had told her (that he had a public intoxication charge that his family had covered up) and took him to court and got his custody rights taken away and a restraining order placed on him and then dropped out of yale before anybody could know about the baby and zoomed to another state and now avery is like ok <3 his daughter’s name is skye though and she is four now and sometimes he still gets updates but literally it eats him alive hahaha

personality:

basically paddington going through an emo phase. he has extreme rbf and might be a solid unit who looks intimidating, but he genuinely is so sweet. by his looks you’d expect him to push you down the stairs but in reality he’s the kid who is 20 minutes late to class to hold the door open for people and he’ll feel good about it even if nobody says thank you to him. 

certified sad boy! the extremely nice guy you meet at a house party who remembers what drink you like from some time you apparently met three months ago? avery loves house parties for real and will be the angel who cleans up at 5am even if he’s got an exam at 8. he loves to take care of people to fill his fatherly void even though he’s the one that needs help the most. 

accepts the fact that he’s now #poor now, but he also gets kind of insecure and jealous seeing everybody pop off with a britney work bitch vc bugatti. tries to keep up with people looks wise at least, he has one old balenciaga cross body bag that has holes in it, way too many ripped pairs of designer jeans, and a scratched gucci belt that you will see him sporting often. might want to bash your face in if you flaunt your wealth and gets kind of whiny about it sometimes.

avery is the type of person that loves the outdoors and going on picnics. his romantic dream is to lay under a tree with the soft summer breeze and play some guitar for the love of his life <3 yes he has a guitar and yes he is actually good at singing even though he gets embarrassed about it. he fucking loves music.

still has that aries moon though, is extremely defensive and my one character who will actually fight in the group chat because what the fuck does he have to lose at this point! avery has extreme anger issues that hurt him more than anything. even though he’s banned from the underground fighting ring, he still needs an outlet and will have his hands shoved in his pockets because they’re either bruised to shit or discolored from how many times they have been bruised. can be found walking home after taking the late bus so he could go scream in a field somewhere.

this man? also naive as fuck. has been hurt by too many people and really just sets him up at this point. an open book most of the time, so much that it hurts him. will tell you everything about himself like the way he can’t sleep in silence and has to have ocean noises playing, but he can’t listen to whale noises because sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks it’s a ghost. however, his family stuff is off limits and he will spit in your face if you even think about asking him about it. 

won’t hold grudges. the type to see a person for who they are as a whole and if they mess up, he’s just like “you’re better than that /: but it’s fine.” probably why he gets hurt so much

wanted connections

a roommate maybe? i pictured him living in an apartment because he probably wouldn’t be able afford live anywhere else. could be besties, could be someone he barely knows but he just needed someone to move in to split the rent.

the one person who he’ll let take care of him. it probably would take a lot to break through his walls, but this person can calm him down after he gets riled up.

since his ex went to yale, maybe one person who knew her and had somewhat of an idea of what happened. they don’t know everything but maybe from what they heard from his ex, they believe everything was avery’s fault and that he fucked her over entirely.

gut wrenching hate plots of where they really love each other but things just can’t work out for one way or another.

gentle romance <3 slow burn. someone who won’t hurt him PLEASE.

aaaaand someone who takes advantage of how naive he is

and friends. so many friends. he is just so friendly and he isn’t the type to hold shit over people’s heads. 

other links 

pinterest

[marvelousbirthdays]

Happy Birthday, probablyunnecessary

July 5-Maria Hill/Brock Rumlow/Jack Rollins with the prompt “Why am I always the funniest when no one is around to hear it?” (no smut or crack please), for @probablyunnecessary

Written by @kathryn-claire-oconnor

“Why am I always funniest when no one is around to hear it?!” Maria burst out from what sounded to Brock to be the kitchen.

Giving Jack a quizzical look as the two men set their bags down in the floor of the entryway, he wondered if their return home from a work trip had been perfectly timed or perfectly awful. Judging by their girlfriend’s tone, it was definitely going to be one or the other.

Jack shrugged – he’d been here exactly as long as Brock had, after all – and Brock advanced on the kitchen with footfalls that were silent out of habit and not any real sense of trepidation. There was definitely a healthy dose of curiosity, though, as he looked into the kitchen to find Maria sitting on the tile floor, surrounded by pieces of construction paper and colored pencils.

Peering around Brock, Jack muttered, “What in the world, darlin’?”

“Hi,” Maria said distractedly, apparently not surprised that they were home even though she was clearly absorbed in whatever she was working on. Brock summed it up to her ever-present super-agent senses as she asked, “How was Paraguay?”

“Quick and dirty – the mission, I mean,” Brock replied.

“My favorite,” she hummed, picking up a pencil from off the floor.

Jack shouldered his way past Brock to approach her, asking only, “Oh?”

“Gets you home quicker,” she explained, reaching towards him with her free hand. “Now come help me.” She pointed to Brock just before Jack took her hand. “You, too.”

Both Brock and Jack obediently settled on the cool tiles beside her, one on either side of the petite woman, trying to understand what they were looking at as they took in the multiple folded pieces of paper with shapes and jokes written on them. Brock caved after a moment and asked, “What are you working on?”

“We,” Maria corrected determinedly, “Are going to make the perfect birthday card for Peter.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jack remembered aloud. “It is the kid’s birthday tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“No,” Maria said. “His birthday is today, his party is tonight, and we all had the date wrong, so I am stuffing a card with cash rather than going out into NYC traffic and being late for the party. That being said, if we are to be reduced to terrible gift-giving, there will at least be a decent, thought-out card to go with it. So, help me think of something! I’ve been trying to come up with something witty, which we all know I can be great at, but none of it so far has fit for Peter.”

Brock, feeling suddenly very much out of his element, looked over Maria’s head to Jack for help. Jack arranged the colored pencils into a respectable line near his knee, saying, “The kid’s colors are blue, black, and red, right? So, let’s start with that. This is a birthday card, so we’re putting happy birthday somewhere on this thing, I assume. Maria, you have the best handwriting, so you can do the writing; I’ll do any drawing.”

One of Jack’s most… normal secrets about himself was that he could draw – well – and was actually very artistic when he allowed himself to be. It wasn’t a skill that came in handy often, but Brock could see he was happy to let it loose now. For her part, Maria was relaxing into their frankly horrifically cutesy project now that someone she considered more capable was taking the lead.

She stood lithely to her feet, announcing, “I have a calligraphy pen, if that might be useful?”

“Very useful,” Jack nodded, and Maria went to go get it.

“What am I supposed to do for this project?” Brock asked, feeling a little overwhelmed as he looked around at all of Maria’s discarded efforts.

Jack followed Brock’s line of sight before he took in the dubious look on his boyfriend’s face and blinked at him, looking almost as lost at the notion as Brock felt. Brock was not Jack; there was not an artistic bone in his body, but… if this was supposed to be a group project, something to be given to the kid for his first birthday after… Tony Stark and everything with Thanos, Brock wanted to put in a little effort, stupid as he may have felt doing arts and crafts.

“You can go get scissors,” Jack decided, trying only a little to bite back a teasing smile. “We’ll need someone to make a cut-out of something I’m sure.”

Eh. Brock moved onto his feet, deciding that beggars in the world of artistic talents couldn’t be choosers. At least cut-outs counted for helping with something, right?

[simpstyle]

Kardashians VS Missguided!

Let get into this past week’s news !

Meghan Markle’s NYC Outing

The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, celebrated her royal baby shower Wednesday in New York City , and everyone has been trying to dig up information about it since. So here is the tea, apparently the baby shower was set up by Markle’s closest and longtime friends, Serena Willams and Genevive Hillis.

The baby shower was considered to be intimate and private, and took place at the Mark Hotel. There were about 20 guests who attended the low- key event , all who’ve known the Princess from her teenage years to the present. It was said by the end of the shower Meghan gifted her guests with luxe carry-on suit cases from the brand Away.

Stay tuned on the royal due date!

Karl Lagerfeld Dies At Age 85

The SIMP family sends our condolences to the friends and family of German Creative Director, Karl Lagerfeld who passed away Tuesday at a hospital in Neuilly-sur-Seine, France. Lagerfeld was a top fashion designer known for his designs at Chanel and Fendi. He was very known for his influence on the fashion community, and collaborations with other designers. He was also quite known for his snide remarks when it came to ‘Curvy’ women as models. All in all, Karl Lagerfeld made his mark on the world, and left behind a legacy.

Here are some of his work with Chanel and Fendi, check it out below!

P.S- Did you know that Karl Lagerfeld is leaving his fortune,( $200 million to be exact) to his Birman cat, Choupette ? ( Crazy right?)

Kim Kardashian Wars With Missguided ONline website

It’s on and poppin’ between Kim Kardashian West and and fashion company Missguided. Kim complains that the company’s Instagram tags and posts, rely on her likeness to sell more clothes. The company’s known for copying celebrity fashionable looks, and selling them for a cheaper price. The lawsuit entails Missguided inappropriately using the Kardashian name to benefit their brand. West took to social media to out the fast fashion brand. Here’s what she had to say.

View this post on Instagram

#KimKardashian said she is sick and tired of her looks being ripped off 👀

A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on Feb 19, 2019 at 9:14am PST

What do you think ladies, do you think Kim has a right to be upset and sue Missguided?

Rihanna Celebrates Her Big Day!

RiRi celebrated her 31st birthday on Wednesday, with her billionaire boyfriend Hassan Jameel. The two were seen at a Lakers game, with some of Rihanna’s family and friends. By the end of the game, the team gifted Rihanna with her own jersey!

HAPPY BDAY BADGALRIRI !!

View this post on Instagram

New draft pick. 📸 @lmamarinala

A post shared by COMPLEX (@complex) on Feb 22, 2019 at 4:20am PST

Zendaya Is Doing Some Big Thangs!

Zendaya is definitely making some strides towards creating a name for herself! The singer/actress was announced as Lancôme’s newest and youngest ambassador. She will be joining other faces of Lancôme such as, Lupita Nyong’o, Penelope Cruz, and Taylor Hill. From her collab with Tommy Hilfiger, to her movie with Tom Holland, “Spider-man: Homecoming 2”, she has a lot on her plate! Congrats girl!

What do you ladies think about Zendaya joining the Lancôme fam?

#BHM:

WHO IS THIS WORKING GIRL?

Dr. Patricia Bath invented the Laserphaco Probe. This tool was designed to correct cataracts during eye surgery.  Cataracts which are an eye condition, can lead to blindness, this invention was created as a more safer way to remove them. Bath became the first black female doctor to secure a medical patent.

…Before you go, take a look at the Working Girl Playlist that you should be vibing out to this week!

Make sure to leave all your comments below!

Until Next Time!

[this-brownie]

04.03.20

not feeling super inspired right now to talk about anything so ill talk about my past birthdays. when I was younger, the apartment I used to live in was filled with not only Bengalis but children that were mine and my brothers’ age. we always had people to play with whether that was going to the park, going to each others houses, or simply playing on our block or backyard. we also always celebrated our birthdays together— I remember the first time I had my very first Big Mac was during my 9th birthday. in middle school, the birthdays got a little more sophisticated because we would go out to Thai restaurants instead of mcdonalds. in 8th grade, my family moved to a new house, a block away from the old apartment. the next year we all started attending different high schools and I don't rmmbr much, my feelings from the day at all except that we called it early that night and my mom and I slept on the living room sofa, lights off and everything. two of my neighbors came over to my house expecting that we were gonna go out to eat— i opened the door to see them dressed up and all they saw were me in my pjs, house dark and their faces fell. one of them said ‘we always do something for your birthday, we thought we were going to do something this year’ and I said no..not this year and kind of awkwardly sent them on their way. side note, I didnt really have social skills because I was extremely shy and super uncomfortable about being confrontational. 

the next few years in highschool my birthdays were okay—I had more School friends to celebrate with and we always went out to eat. but I never had the money or enough friends to have a huge bash like the way I always fantasized. I rmmbr in 10th grade, a few of my friends pitched in to buy me balloons and delivered them to me before first period— I had to carry them around all day and I felt embarrassed but also incredibly special and happy. I eventually became close with Fariha and we spent the next two birthdays together, always Thai food--Jen joined me for one of those outings— Fariha always took care of my bill but I realized I never extended the same courtesy to her. 

a certain pattern started developing over the years— my mom started picking fights with me and would always have me feelings miserable on the day of or very near my birthday. In 12th grade, we had a massive fight that I wasn't expecting her to remember it was my birthday or do anything about it. but near the end of the night she designed the living room with tea lights and bought me cake and dressed me up in a beautiful sari. looking back, its fucking manipulative to put me in a bad mood on a special day, and then expect those feelings to be wiped just because im presented with gifts. yes I was *eventually* showered with love but at the cost of feeling gaslighted and having to hide my negative emotions because they were considered disrespectful. my next birthday, I turned 18 but I can't rmmbr it at all. for my 19th, I was living in Toronto but I had visited Levi in Boston and for the first time ever I spent an entire week with him. I had recently gotten a credit card so I decided to buy myself expensive lingerie. that was a lot of fun.

my 20th birthday was one of the worst because I remember it had been a few months since I moved back from Toronto and my mom was especially untrusting. she completely disregarded that it was my birthday so that was a very lovely day. I remember I was working at magnolia that day but I can't rmmbr why I didnt go out with my friends…I don't rmmbr but it was a shitty day.

for my 21st, I had already been living in Boston for a little less than a year and Levi insisted I go out with my friends since I always stay in with him, I went out with two girls from the restaurant I used to work at, and another girl who I used t work at bebe with. regina (bebe) and I arrived earl/on time and decided to grab something to eat while we waited for the other two girls. we went to a Chinese hotpot place and it was a lot of fun trying something new to eat. the other two girls came and we went to a hookah place which was kind of ratchet but I remember my mindset at the time was to not plan everything out so meticulously because nothing goes to plan. however, I was TOO flowy because I was underdressed (it was fucking freezing that day) and the wait line for the hookah place without a reservation was ridiculous. I also didnt like the fact that the girls didnt dress up to the 9s like the way I did. they also didnt drink the vodka I snuck in so that was another bummer. the last annoying thing was that regina had to leave early because she used to Dorm, and the campus closed at a certain hour. even though I had more fun than usual, it wasn't the huge birthday bash one expects for their 21st.

the next year, 2015 at this point, I had moved back to New York but I can't rmmbr what I did that year. the next birthday was one of my favorites. I had finally planned out and executed an amazing girls night out. the day started off with me picking up a delicious tiramisu cake from a local bakery and heading over to nadiyas house in Astoria where Jenifer and Syndee also joined. we pregamed while getting ready. the dress code was black only— I had gotten an amazing sheer black maxi dress imprinted with gold stars from urban outfitters. all my girls looked amazing that night. we did our makeup and curled hair and even just getting ready was such fun. nadiya also put out snacks for us which was super cute. our first stop of the night was dinner at “beauty and Essex” where we had tapas like: tomato soup with a block of fried cheese in it; bone marrow with grilled bread, mini tuna tartare tacos, and shots of soup. the place was fucking fancy— they served us champagne in the ladies room, so extra haha. I knew the bill would be expensive so I covered a good portion of it which I didnt mind because I wanted to have FUN without being hindered at all. it was also a good amount of food where we were satisfied, but not too full that we felt bloated or couldn't continue drinking. we took an uber to the next stop to a placed called “beauty bar” which was a nail salon mixed with a club, that also served drinks. we each got ourselves a manicure and a drink. we danced for a little bit but didnt love the music so headed over to our last stop of the night, a nightclub called Cielo. this is where I made a mistake — I got us there a little after 11 and had to pay a $30 fee. if we had gotten there before 11pm, it would have been half the price. I remember sneaking a bottle of wine in, by squeezing it between my thighs, but it ended up being such a waste because we didnt have a bottle opener to even open it with. I ended up leaving it in the bathroom.  second thing wasn't really a mistake but it took points off from the overall day— the thing about nyc clubs is that there is SO many that they have to be different to stand out, meaning they don't play popular music or top 40. they will play what they think is cool. when you're drunk its fine, but if you're sober (like jen was), its less enjoyable. however because I was super drunk, I did enjoy dancing even tho I didnt act totally ratchet. maybe it worked out haha. I also met a very charming and handsome man that night. apparently he checked me out the minute he looked at me (according to Jen) and came up to me and…I can't rmmbr now what he asked but he offered to buy me a drink and I jokingly said back “haha I think my friends are going to be jealous if I drink without them” and then he actually bought me nadiya and Syndee drinks. I didnt expect that— afterwards we all split up and the girls danced with other people. I danced with this guy, whose name I don't even remember, but he was tall, genuine, and very charming. I met his friends and we went out for a smoke and I remember enjoying his company. I remember telling him I had a boyfriend and he will still ver pleasant and sweet, which I appreciated. afterwards us 4 girls and he, his friend and girlfriend all squished into this tiny car to grab pizza. it started raining heavy at that point and I was super drunk - on our way back to nadiyas place, we ended up having a sleepover that night, I dropped my phone into the water and it went blank. I felt horrible after because I never got the chance to thank him for the night— in his mind, I just became another girl that used him for drinks and then took flight. theres no way to change that unfortunately.

the issue with me is that I really want to execute the way I envision things, and when they don't turn out like that I become very unhappy. I started fantasizing, and still do sometimes, about having a perfect girls group thats made up of pretty girls of different ethnicities. for my next birthday I invited Syndee (Thai but can pass for Latina), Lilian (chinese), and a coworker of mine who I had never hung out with before (Mexican, but extremely pale- looks exotic white) to have a birthday brunch. this was the first time hanging out with Lilian after maybe 7-8 years so it was a bit of a reunion. we went out for drinks to a speakeasy after which was really cool too. even though the group of us looked beautiful in photos, the aesthetics of the restaurant was lovely, the food itself was amazing, and the drinks were strong-- the dynamic between all of us wasn't flowing 100%. I wanted so badly for things to look good that I didnt realize the coworker would feel out of place amongst the rest of us who had known each other for a while. so, while the day was nice and nothing bad had happened, it still didnt feel extremely memorable. thats the last time I hung out with that coworker, and the last time I tried to force things together to make them fit.

the next year I was pretty down about and around my birthday— this was the first birthday after being married. I remember Levi asking me what I wanted to do and what gift I wanted. im not super materialistic anymore so I don't like receiving gifts. we did go out to Indochine for dinner which was nice but not as great as it was the previous time we had gone. instead, we went out to see Jim Jeffereys in Madison sq garden. it was okay— he made a joke about taking a shit which lasted 15 minutes. it was annoying. also Levi got mad at me because I went out to get a drink and missed an entire segment. wooh. I am weird because I want people to show me a lot of love— it doesn't have to constant, or grand gestures but I like when its thoughtful. I hate having to ask for attention or affection, it makes it less special if I receive it after that. even though Jen is my best friend, I have celebrated most of my birthdays without her. she's usually unable to come see me during the school term. this year she was at med school and wasn't able to make it because she was busy studying. she's missed out on a lot of them and it hurts because not only is she my best friend and should do things to make me special, but that I always go out of my way for her to make her feel amazing on her day (I will make a separate post for HER  birthdays). I am relatively low key about my birthday too, ever since 10th grade it hasn't been on facebook profile. I don't tell people about it, if they ask for the date I try to evade their questions. I know its strange, but its because I don't like revealing personal info, or things that are meaningful to me, and have others disregard or forget them. most of my friends didnt remember to wish me but I don't hold it against them because I don't make their birthdays special. I only do that with Jen, so I only expect it from her. however, fimo did make me feel special. we went out to eat at a Sri Lankan restaurant and then got ice cream after from a different place. she printed me a cute celebratory card with a picture of me on it and got a beautiful vase (I told her not to get me anything tho!). she gave me black and white triangular shaped earrings and said, I noticed you like geometrical shapes so I thought you would like these (I did like them a lot). she also did something very sweet and unique- she cut out scraps of paper and wrote little compliments and inside jokes we shared on the. that was my favorite because it showed that there are little moments of me that she remembers, and that she has taken time to think of me and what would make me happy. 

out of all my birthdays, the last one where I turned 26 has been my favorite. im not always moody and a downer! this was one of the first birthdays that I actually DID get to spend with Jen. I become very moody around my birthday- in the past because my mom would pick fights with me..these days because I prefer to isolate myself rather than be happy, or optimistic, and then be disappointed. I would want someone to do for me what I do for them. is that selfish of me? maybe. which is why I like to keep my expectations extremely low. Jen had recently broken up with her boyfriend of a long time and she was actually available to come see me, without being hindered or guilted into spending a part of the weekend with him. she asked what I wanted to do and if I wanted anything for my birthday. I feel embarrassed and shy about being given gifts so I always say no to that— I like to have special experiences instead. I gave her an ambivalent answer, showing my hesitation and hinting that ill be working and ill be pretty busy that weekend. the reason I do this is because 1. im manipulative and 2. I'm an asshole. id rather exaggerate to her and make it seem like *IM* the one whose busy and can't make time for her, rather than have her say yes and hope that she's coming and be let down if she can't make it (which has happened in the past before). I also am…apparently unsatisfied by how people show me love. im a scorpio… meaning I am excessive, intense, and “relentless” (according to levi). when I do something, I do it big and I try my best to make it perfect. when people are very lax, like the way Jen is, about certain things it conveys to me that they are not as serious about me. its not necessarily true but thats how I feel. so I tell her im busy, to test her and see whether she will still come to see me for my birthday even tho it may be inconvenient for her. I was wishy washy, but I wasn't completely adamant about her not coming so she decided to ignore my hesitance and come anyway. good decision.

several days before my mom hinted that she would throw a surprise party for me— she tried to be clever about it, in her defense, but when she asked me for fimos number I knew something was up. I played along— I found it very endearing that my mom would do something like this for me. this was part of the reason I decided Jen should come anyway, it would be more fun with her there after all. she came Friday night and we had dinner and talked for a little bit before heading to bed. I had work the next morning; after I came come we both got ready to go to my moms place. she made it seem like we were going to a wedding so I had to get there, get dressed and then we would all head out together. I knew it was gonna be a party so I tried to get Levi to come but he didn't think it was appropriate. once we got there and opened the curtains, I was greeted loudly with “HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!!” it was my two brothers, a couple of my little brothers friends, fimo and her bf, my aunt, and my cousin and his parents. it was very sweet, I was honestly touched to see a room of happy faces all leathered around because of me. my mom was elated, it was so fucking cute. she spent all day cooking a ton of food— making all my favorites ofc— and got this delicious cake adorned with a picture of me. the room was designed with HBD banners and streamers, confetti balloons, and pretty fairy lights. my brothers even got a disco light that displayed different colored lights all over the walls, and champagne candles (the ones that shoot out that pretend fire until they die out). I felt so fucking loved— I feel happy right now thinking back to that night. 

the next morning I had planned to go to the spa with just Levi but Jenifer wanted to join us. I didnt want to at first because I wanted to spend some alone time, but thankfully it ended up being a great time. Levi rented a car and we drove to this luxe spa in New Jersey. it was three floors filled with different temperature jacuzzis, pools, saunas, and steam rooms. the pool on the rooftop was an infinity pool, filled with a ton of instagrammers, but the view was stunning and we caught a delightful sunset. Jenifer being there added a lot to my pleasure and peace— I got to take as many photos as I wanted without being judged and I had fun running around to all the different areas instead of being told to sit quiet. I really do love that girl, but any actions of me being distant or cold are a result of being let down so many times, intentional or not, that I always expect only the worst now. however, her being there that weekend solidified our bond greatly and I appreciated that. we got pizza afterwards which was tasty but not so great. we drove back home and Levi let us off at st marks so that Jen and I could spend the last hour before she had to leave back to Philly. she spontaneously told me she wanted to get a belly piercing, and if I was down. we had gotten one together a long time ago but it fell out and we didnt have it re pierced. I didnt care either way so I went for it. now we have matching bffl belly rings all over again. nice end to a great weekend.

a few days later I met fimo for brunch at an Italian place in Brooklyn, that happened to be near the movie theaters where we planned on going after. brunch was whatever but she got me a fucking $100 Chanel perfume even though I demanded that she not get me anything. the perfume smells heavenly, and I only wear it on special occasions now. but it was too expensive, and I really didnt want that from her. later, we watched ‘Parasite’ at this theatre called Nitehawk Cinema which allows you to eat and drink right while you're watching the movie. we munched on popcorn and drank wine and felt like badasses. Parasite was absolutely amazing and thrilling- a Korean horror/thriller about a family that trick, and uses, a richer family into employing them. the name of the movie makes it seem like THEY are the parasites, but the crazy plot twist is that the rich family’s former employees were doing the same thing. but worse. they were secretly living/hiding out in the rich family basement/bunker. shit gets crazy when current employees find the ex employees. we both really enjoyed the movie, and didnt expect to like it as much as we did. it got nominated for several awards, so we were not the only ones who thought so.

the last person I saw for my birthday was Syndee but it wasn't really a bday hangout. I recently had a falling out with Ivan (more on that on a different post), and had reached out to all my closest friends. Sydnee and I see each other once every couple months so it was time. we got Detroit style pizza at this famous place near my work/home. the food was pretty good and it was nice to catch up with her. I let her know that I would be less busy in the future and that maybe we should start calling each other so that the stretches in person wouldn't feel as long. she agreed, and it was interesting as were catching up that for the first time I had only good news to share and she had not so good news. I told her that I had gotten a new job where I was planning to get promoted, had very recently gotten my green card, and that my mom was finally coming to terms with my marriage. I talked about my birthday, and she casually got the date for my birthday wrong (she was off by two days)— so I guess it really has been a while since we've been thorough with each other. she lamented about having to move out soon from her apt because she and her bf (who pays most of the rent) might be splitting up. she also said she wasn't doing as well at her new job as she had hoped. It was unfortunate that she was going through a tough time but I told her that she wasn't completely helpless, and that she still had options. its difficult for me to hear about people going through a tough time because I want to be able to change that, even if im not always in the position to do so. we did end on a good note and she seemed happy about seeing me which was nice. I am happy and grateful for the friends and the freedom I have. they don't always show me affection in the way I want but they do show it how they can, which I acknowledge and cherish.

[howxforeverxfeels]

[Biography of Simone Carver]

FACTS

Name: Simone Marcel Templeton Carver Nicknames: Simone, Simmy, Mona Age: 33 Birthday: November 16, 1986 Astrological Sign: Scorpio Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Tiger Occupation: Tattoo Artist Stay at home Mom Hometown: Bronx, NYC, NY Current Location: Windham, NY Status: Married Sexuality: Pansexual Demiromantic

BIOGRAPHY {tw: death, murder, mob, crime}

New York City never knew what hit it on the day that Simone Marcel Templeton was born. A spit fire from day one, her parents - Preston and Kira - had their hands full. Her father was a car mechanic and her mother was a waitress. One of her parents was always home, but there were rarely days where both were home. Growing up in the Bronx, Simone learned from an early age that snitches get stitches and you’re far better off minding your own business. There was never a time growing up when Simone thought that she would want to leave New York City. Life was good, her parents were wonderful and at the age of 13 she became a big sister to a beautiful baby boy. At that point in time, she never knew that things could ever go wrong. At 15, Simone came home from school to find her father in handcuffs being led down the stairs by cops. Familiar faces, most of them, with the exception of a white-haired gentleman that was in a suit versus the standard cop uniform. Detective Johansen, her mother had told her once the tears had stopped flowing. Her father was being accused of running a chop shop for one of the well-known crime families. With little money to their name all they could do was allow the public defender to try their case. A breathtaking woman by the name of Julia Kreeg swooped into their lives like an angel with vibrant white wings. She did her absolute best, but the jury of peers found Preston guilty and he was sentenced to ten years. Neither Kira nor Simone believed the evidence to be true, and Kira took it upon herself to investigate as much as she could. Word got around that she was snooping in places that she shouldn’t, and shortly after Simone’s 16th birthday the family was put through hell again. Simone was a heavy sleeper, and she hadn’t heard the floor boards in the hallway creaking. She didn’t hear the muffled scream from her mother, or the fading sound of a baby crying as it was stolen away. She only woke when she felt a presence on her bed, and she woke too late. She fought back with all of her strength, but what had been taken could not be returned. All Simone could do was wait until the asshole released her wrists (his hands moving instead to her throat), and she reached for the swiss army knife under her pillow. She didn’t mean to kill him, at least that’s what she told herself as she stuffed everything she could into a duffle bag. She ran across the hall to find a far more devastating site - her mother, throat slit with a note written in blood on her wall that read ‘Mind Your Business. Her brother’s crib was empty, the bedroom window open. Completely distraught, Simone took off running to the only person she could trust - Julia. With no idea where she lived, Simone found herself curled up in the alley next to Julia’s practice. Unable to sleep and shaking, it was the longest night of her life. By the time Julia’s voice reached her ears, speaking on the phone to… someone. With the last bit of energy she had left, she pushed herself to her feet and moved toward the woman. Her mouth opened to speak, but all that tumbled forth was a strangled sob as she collapsed against her, her body giving out beneath her. Simone vaguely remembers Julia trying to get answers out of her and calling an ambulance. The ride to the hospital is blurry, at best, but after a battery of tests when Julia is allowed to see her again, Simone is able to to finally use her voice to tell the woman her mother had been murdered. Within a few hours, the cops were there to talk to Simone. She refused to talk unless Julia was present. There were questions - not just about her mother, but about the gentleman that had been found stabbed to death on her bedroom floor; about the empty crib, and the bodily fluids on her bed. With gentle encouragement, she begrudgingly told them what happened. The transition from a hospital bed to a prison cell was the last thing she expected, but by the end of the day there she was. With no family she could call, and her lawyer the only person she considered a close enough friend, Simone spent two nights there before her bail hearing. Her father’s reputation proceeded her, and she was to be held without bail. Due to the nature of the crime, and the connections to the mafia family - her trial was only two months out. Those two months haunt Simone regularly, and she refuses to ever talk about them. The jury found her not guilty on a case of self defense and Julia hugged her, telling her that the worst was over. The worst was not over, though. Her younger brother was still missing, her mother was dead and her father had another eight years on his sentence. Added to that, there had been two odd nights in prison that Simone couldn’t quite figure out. On a visit to her father, she mentioned it and she was simply told to go upstate to the Catskills and find the Avery family, they would give her the answers she sought. Armed with only the items she could carry on her back, Simone left the drivel of New York City behind and headed to the far quieter northern area of New York known as the Catskills. She was dropped off in the town of Delhi in the Western area of the Catskills. Odd jobs helped her to afford a rented room at a B&B in town while she did her best to poke around and ask about the Avery family. She found out that they lived in a different town - more northeastern that the town she'd landed in, and even smaller if that was possible. It took her six months to save up enough money to relocate to an inn in Windham, but as soon as she could she was there.

Simone researched, talked with folks around town, and did her best to learn about what her father had told her. It all boiled down to one complicated word: Werewolf. She - along with her family - were apparently possessed with supernatural power and once she knew that she was able to focus on harnessing her power and learning how to handle the beast within her.

TRAITS

♥ Cunning, Loyal ⓧ Abrasive, Pessimistic

Faceclaim: Jaimie Alexander

[petersasteria]

Life - Bradley Simpson Imagine! AU (Part 1)

A/N: Requested? No.

Pairing: Brad x Reader

Inspired by one of my favorite movies!

Y/S/N = your sister's name

Lindsay = other sister (apologies if your name is Lindsay)

Monique = your boss (apologies if your name Monique)

Audrey, Henry, Sarah = Lindsay's kids

* * * *

You live in NYC a.k.a the big apple. You work for this really big and famous modeling agency named 'Monique's Style'. You happen to be the executive assistant of Monique. Let's just you're her favorite. You absolutely love your job! You get to party every other night with your colleagues and some models. Recently, you've found a girl named Tinka who has the potential of being a model. As a part of your job, you were able to get her as a model for your company. Monique is jubilant about having you in her company.

Tonight, you're going to New Jersey for Lindsay's birthday. You're the youngest sibling out of three. Lindsay is your eldest sister and Y/S/N is the middle child. You and Lindsay are really close. Your mother died when you were 7 years old. At that time, Lindsay was in New York fulfilling her dream of being a dancer whilst Y/S/N is at home taking care of you. Now, both of your sisters have kids except for you. Lindsay has three kids whilst Y/S/N have two. Y/S/N is currently 5 months pregnant. You're the fun kind of aunt.

Lindsay's party wasn't that grand. It was just you, Y/S/N, Y/S/N's husband, Lindsay, Lindsay's husband, Y/S/N's two kids, Audrey, Henry, and Sarah. You played some games and watched Lindsay open her presents. It was everything. Simple, yet contented.

*

You were having your usual Sunday brunch with your colleagues at a fancy restaurant, when you get a call from Y/S/N.

"What?" you ask, "Y/S/N, slow down. I can't understand you."

"Lindsay and her husband met an accident," Y/S/N slowed down, "And they didn't make it." Y/S/N cried.

"Oh my-" And with that, you tried your hardest not to break down in a really fancy restaurant. Your colleagues noticed and asked if you were okay.

*

You went to stay in New Jersey for awhile. You were in Lindsay's room, bawling your eyes out. You stood up to leave, but you saw the closet door open. You peeked inside and saw Audrey, Henry, and Sarah sitting down on the floor next to each other with tear stained cheeks. You sat down with them and held them close to you.

Just then, Y/S/N peeked in and said softly, "People are paying their condolences downstairs. I think they'd appreciate it if you guys would be downstairs."

The three kids went downstairs as you and Y/S/N stayed behind.

"Y/N, can you please go to the store and buy some blue napkins?" Y/S/N asked nicely.

"Why?" was all you said.

"Y/N... I've arranged the funeral, I cooked, I took care of the kids. All I'm asking you for, is to go to the store and buy blue napkins, so that the guests won't remember our sister with table napkins sitting on their laps when they eat." Y/S/N lost it at this point. It was true, though. You weren't really much of a big help. As soon as Y/S/N said that, you just shut up and agreed to buy them.

*

Still in New Jersey, two people went to Lindsay's house to speak with you and Y/S/N.

"We have letters for you. It's from Lindsay before she passed away." The man handed you both the letters.

"It also says here that Y/N Y/L/N will be their legal guardian." The lady said.

"What?" Y/S/N was gobsmacked.

"Yeah, what?!" you were shocked even more.

"You'll be taking care of the kids from now on. You'll be like they're mom." The man shrugged.

"Why can't Y/S/N have them? She IS a mom. She has the mom body, the mom haircut... super mom!" You tried to reason out.

"Sorry, it really says here. There's nothing we can do about it." The lady said before they left.

That night, you talked to the kids about living with you in New York.

"What?!" Henry, the second child, shrieked.

"We're living with you?" Audrey, the eldest, asked.

"Mhm." All you could do was nod.

"Who's going to give me a bath?" Sarah, the youngest, asked.

"Me." You smiled.

"Who's going to take me to school?" she asked again.

"I guess, I am." You answered.

"And make me chicken fingers?"

"Me." You smiled. "Look, all we got to do is stick together. Alright?" you continued.

"Alright. C'mon Sarah it's time for your bath." Audrey said as she carried Sarah to the stairs, with Henry following.

*

You brought the three kids to New York with you. You bought pizza (for take-out of course). You all have one pizza each. It came in a paper plate and a soda.

"I love New York pizza!" Audrey exclaimed as you walked out of the pizza place.

"Aunt Y/N, can we go to the Statue of Liberty tomorrow?" Sarah asked sweetly.

"No, because we won't be-- wait, where's Henry?!" you screeched.

"He said he'd be back!" Audrey said, looking around.

"I go to the bathroom for a second, and he's gone?!" you panicked.

"There he is!" Audrey pointed at Henry talking to an old man who owns a hotdog stand.

"I said no mustard." You overheard Henry talking to the old man.

"Okay. No mustard." The old man said as he fixed a hotdog for Henry with no mustard. "Who's going to pay for this?" the old man asked as he handed the hotdog to Henry.

"Henry!" you yelled as you, Audrey, and Sarah walked towards him.

"Aunt Y/N will pay." Henry said to the old man.

"Hi I'm Eric." The old man introduced himself.

"Yeah, hi." You said as you paid the old man. "Why did you leave and not tell us?" you asked.

"I don't like pizza. I wanted a hotdog." Henry said.

"Next time, when you want a hotdog tell me and we'll all go together." You told Henry as you all crossed the street.

"Where are we going to dinner?" Audrey asked as she ate her pizza.

"This is dinner." You said.

"Gee, mommy never let pizza be our full dinner." Sarah said.

"And dad always said not to eat AND walk at the same time." Henry said.

"Well, they're not here to yell at us so it doesn't matter." Audrey rolled her eyes.

*

A month later, you were packing some of your things to bring to New Jersey. You see, it was around Easter time, and you were celebrating Easter with Y/S/N, her husband, and her kids.

"Audrey, get out of the bathroom!" You yelled as you got some clothes out of your closet.

Henry knocked on the bathroom door and said, "Fire! Fire!" in the most unenergetic voice.

Audrey opened the door and walked up to you.

"Why are we going back? We should spend more time here." Audrey asked.

"Spend more time here?"

"Yeah. We can move here." Audrey crossed her arms.

"We can't sleep in one bed every night." You reasoned out.

"We'll move to another apartment. It's a huge city! You'll be closer to your job and everything. You love your job!" Audrey said.

"What about Henry and Sarah?"

"What about them?!"

"They've got school, you have friends, and you grew up in that neighborhood."

"That's why it's a sad neighborhood. Everywhere we go reminds us of mom and dad. The kids treat me differently."

"We'll talk about this later."

"Please think about it aunt Y/N." Audrey pleaded.

"Alright, let's go we have a train to catch! Henry, stop brushing your teeth they're gonna fall out!" you said loudly when you found Henry in the bathroom brushing his teeth for the nth time.

You all grabbed your things and put it in the back of the cab.

"I can't put hippo in the bag!" Sarah whined as she can't put her stuffed animal in her tiny pink bag.

"Oh, give it to me!" Henry snatched the hippo and the bag out of Sarah's grasp and shoved the hippo in the bag. Apparently, Sarah had been having trouble with hippo for awhile and made Henry lose his shit. "There! He's in the bag! Are ya happy now?!" Henry asked, annoyed.

*

You arrived at New Jersey and spoke to Y/S/N about what Audrey said.

"That's not part of the plan." Y/S/N said.

"That's YOUR plan, Y/S/N." you sighed.

"What's wrong with moving down the block? I think the calm of the familiar is better than the hustle bustle of the city." Y/S/N said as she glanced at all the kids painting Easter eggs. "Kids, keep the paint on the eggs and not on each other please!" She pleaded.

"Y/S/N, Sarah thinks hippo's parents are on vacation and they're coming back. Henry walks around like a zombie and draws skeletons. Audrey's my only ally." You told Y/S/N and her husband, John.

"You really have to watch her." Y/S/N said as you mentioned Audrey.

"Look, they're not happy."

"Y/N, they're not gonna be happy anywhere right now."

"Let's just think this through." John said to Y/S/N as you joined the kids.

"The Easter bunny's not coming! The Easter bunny joined 50 cent!" Henry said aggressively.

"Henry, why do you have to be a brat?" Audrey said.

"YOU'RE a brat." Henry rolled his eyes as he painted an egg.

Meanwhile, Y/S/N and John talked about Audrey's request.

"I think Y/N's right. I think the new environment would help the kids. If it doesn't work out, they can always go back here to New Jersey." John said.

*

Y/S/N finally agreed and now you're looking for an apartment with the help of a real estate agent.

"How about this one?" the real estate agent asked. This was the 10th picture of an apartment she showed you. It wasn't your type.

"Um, no."

"I heard there was some pretty decent stuff at Queens?" the agent tried. She really did.

"No. We're Manhattan people." You said quickly.

The agent showed the next picture and you gasped.

"Oh wow!"

The agent smiled and said, "Four bedrooms and close to Central Park. Only 9,000 a month."

The place was great, but the price wasn't as great as the apartment. You had no choice but to move in Queens.

You went to the apartment in Queens and check things out. You got apartment 1D (a/n: wink wink)

"Okay, here's the bathroom."

"Only one bathroom?"

"Yeah. There are two rooms over there."

"Okay. Henry and Sarah could one room and Audrey the other room. Then I'll sleep on the pull-out couch." You said.

"There's plenty of room for a pull-out couch and you get a nice view." The landlady said.

"So, in the ad it said something about a visual security system. How does that work?" you asked politely.

"Oh. When someone ring the doorbell, you look out the window; that's the visual part. And you yell at them if you want them to come up or not; that's the security part. Here are the keys. Welcome to this apartment. I'm only available between 8:30 and 9:30 in the morning because I have a life." And she left.

You turned to the kids and said, "So, home!" The kids ran up to you and hugged you.

That same day, your things arrived and Y/S/N and John came over to help with your things.

"I ordered pizza and it's gonna arrive in 30 minutes!" Y/S/N cheered.

"Okay, kids let's put your stuff in your rooms!" John said as he grabbed Sarah's bike.

In Henry and Sarah's room....

"I want this bed!" Sarah shouted at her brother who was sitting on the bed she wanted.

"Look, in the old house I had this bed and you had that bed." Henry calmly said.

"But I want this bed!" Sarah shouted yet again.

"That's it! Hippo goes out the window!" Henry stood up from the bed he called dibs and grabbed hippo.

"Followed by Irwin!" Irwin is Henry's pet turtle.

In the living room...

"Guys, stop fighting!" You said as you looked at Y/S/N. "It's hard. Like, really hard."

Y/S/N smiled and gave you a hug instead. Being –already 6 months- pregnant, she's not allowed to be stressed.

You pulled away from the hug and heard a knock on the door. The door was already wide open, but the person was really polite. You and Y/S/N turned around and saw a nice looking Indian woman. You approached her and said hi.

"Hi, I'm Nilma. I live across the hall. I made samosas."

"Wow! Thank you so much. I'm Y/N and that's Y/S/N, my sister." You smiled.

"I caught this little one screaming around the hall." The landlady interrupted as she grabbed Nilma's 5 year old son by his shirt.

"It's okay. Mr. Carlos is deaf." Nilma said.

"Well I'm not." The landlady said as she left. Nilma told her son to go back to their apartment.

"So, I see you have kids too. Maybe a play date sometime?" Nilma asked nicely.

Y/S/N immediately came over and spoke to Nilma as she handed you the samosas and put it in the kitchen.

"Hi. You see, these kids are our sister's kids..." Y/S/N told Nilma.

"These aren't her kids?" Nilma asked.

"No. Our sister passed away and left her kids with Y/N. I was wondering if you could help her with some things."

"Of course. Say no more."

"Thank you so much."

Y/S/N and Nilma looked at you. You gave them a look that said 'what?'

"Nothing. Just mommy talk." Y/S/N answered.

"So Y/N, where are you taking the kids to school?" Nilma asked.

Your eyes widen in realization. You never thought of that. You were so focused on your job and moving to a different apartment, you forgot that the kids have to go to a school.

You looked at Nilma and nervously smiled, "I got it. I got it covered."

*

The next day, you went around Queens to look for a school. You, Henry, and Sarah went inside this random school, but they didn't like it. You've been looking for schools all day and Audrey wasn't helping. Instead, Audrey flirts with every guy she sees.

"Really Audrey? C'mon let's go to a different school." You groaned. You're about to lose your shit. Until you found a Christian school. You were really desperate, so you checked it out.

You went inside the church (which was part of the school) and found some people there.

A man with curly hair smiled at you.

"Hello." He smiled at you.

"Hi. I would like to speak to the principal." You smiled.

"That's me! Let's go to my office." He said and shook your hand.

-at the office-

"Being a Christian is really great. We've been Christians for as long as we can remember. Right kids?" you said as you looked at the three kids who were smiling.

"Okay. We just need to run some blood tests to make sure they're really Christian." The man said.

"What?" The color drained from your face and instantly became nervous.

"Yeah. You heard me." The man smirked.

"The kids can't do that, because they're scared of blood." You said.

"It's a joke." The man chuckled.

"Now, why would I joke about that?" You asked.

"The blood test. There's no blood test. It's a joke. You don't have to be a Christian to go to this school."

"Really?"

"Yeah. There are only a few Christians who live here."

"Thank you, father."

"It's pastor."

"Oh. Thanks, father pastor."

"Yeah, Pastor Brad actually." The man said.

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's alright. So, tour?" Pastor Brad asked. You immediately agreed and he took you around the school for a tour.

* * * *

Lmao reblog if you liked it

[houseofmind]

2 Year Anniversary PD Update

A lot has happened since I last brought you up to speed with my life and academic endeavors. Given that my last update post was over 2 years ago, I wasn’t sure where to start. With that said, this post has been opened and worked on (and opened and worked on, and so forth) so it’s a long one :X If you’re new, welcome! Also, please be sure to check out the list of things I learned during my PhD. 

Spring/Summer 2016

Briefly, I moved to Pittsburgh about a week after that update post. I crammed as much of my stuff as I could along with Fausto (my cat) into a rental car and drove to my new place amidst a snowstorm. I made it there safely (although I had to make an overnight stop that I swear gave my cat anxiety). My new home exceeded my expectations (2 bedroom, living room, kitchen, basement, washer/dryer, short commute < $1,000), but leaving NYC and most of my friends was bittersweet. 

I went into lab the next day after arriving in Pittsburgh. THAT felt really weird because it was when reality hit. New job, new role, new boss (and new style), new techniques, new approaches, new life basically. My first challenge in the lab was learning the “bread and butter” technique: in vivo extracellular recordings of VTA dopamine neurons. Initially, this scared the shit out of me because I had 0 electrophysiology experience so I was worried about how long it would take for me to be decent and start collecting good data. I was trained by the RAP in the lab; I shadowed her for a week and copied down as much as I could. Then, I did an animal every day for a month. That’s about how long it took for me to get comfortable. (Side note: if you move to a lab and need to learn a new technique, my advice is to attack it aggressively until you learn it!). At the beginning I encountered problems such as having my animal bleed too much, giving too much anesthetic, taking too long (a whole day for just one surgery), making bad electrodes, not being able to find dopamine neurons, etc. The really cool part was seeing myself get better: not making the same mistakes, being able to correct mistakes when they happened, becoming faster and more efficient, optimizing my procedure. It was a great reminder of why I love doing science and that I am capable of learning new things :]

Then came the part where my advisor asked me to think of projects related to his prior work and funding. Call this my second challenge in the lab. He suggested a “safe” project and a “pie in the sky” project. I really appreciated his flexibility and willingness to have me choose projects and questions that I cared about, while also offering his guidance and steering me in better directions. After I pored over his grants and (then still in press papers), I came up with 2 ideas and presented my experimental design to the lab. Next, I got to work! During this time I received funding from a T32 program within the Psychiatry at Pitt, which would cover my stipend until I was able to secure my own funding (more on this in Fall 2015). 

Work was interrupted for a couple of days in May that I took off to attend my graduation in NYC. My parents and one of my brothers were able to fly in from Puerto Rico and I was really pleased. I am the only (and first!) PhD in either side of the family so I could tell that this was a big deal to them and that they were really proud of me. Obviously, this made me feel proud of myself :D

Here is a pic of me on graduation day:

After I came back, it was time to get down to business. My first cohort of “real animals” was ready for all the single unit dopamine (DA) neuron recordings I had to do. Even though I had only been doing this technique for ~2 months, I managed to get some interesting preliminary data that my PI was enthusiastic about, he suggested I write an F32 (NIH postdoctoral fellowship grant). For the August deadline, meep! Most of June and July was spent working around the clock to not only gather and analyze the data, but also write the proposal. IT WAS INSANE. During this time, I also traveled to San Sebastián in the Basque Country (within Spain) for the International Society for Developmental Psychobiology (ISDP) meeting. It was my first time out of the country since 2013 and it was quite exciting because I was awarded their dissertation prize! I was only there for 4-5 days but I managed to hang out with my PhD advisor and conference buddies, gave a talk on my dissertation research, meet some pretty cool people from all over,  take in some breathtaking views, eat pintxos, and go to the beach. I guess you could call this my “vacation” over the summer. Finally, the last exciting thing to happen over the summer was that I received an invitation from the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology (ACNP) to attend their annual meeting in December (more on this below). 

Fall/Winter 2015

After submitting my grant, I continued to perform experiments related to my F32 proposal project. I also started generating animals for another project in which I would look at the effects of chronic mild stress (i.e. depression model) in a neurodevelopmental model of schizophrenia-like deficits. I also got the grant score for my initial submission, which I knew was not within funding range so that meant resubmission in the spring. What can you do? During this semester I participated in the weekly career and research development (CARD) seminar, which is oriented towards helping postdocs gain the skills necessary for transitioning into an independent research position. This was required for me to get the T32 $$$, but I would strongly advise anyone who has access to these types of programs to attend! Topics covered included but were not limited to: how to negotiate, conflict management, how to prepare a job talk, authorship, mock K review process, etc... There is also a writing block portion of the seminar in which participants are divided into topic specific mini groups and get feedback from at least 2 other faculty on a weekly basis before grant submission. Besides being able to cultivate a positive and professional relationship with my T32 director, I’d say that the CARD seminar was the best thing about participating in this T32 program. 

In terms of travel and meetings, I attended the SfN 2015 conference in Chicago and I’ve got to say that my experience there was so positive it even made me change my mind about Chicago!!! It was the first time I was attending this meeting without having a poster so I focused on trying to meet the dopamine/electrophysiology folks and attending all the socials I could fit in :D Right after SfN, I went to NYC to visit some friends still in grad school over Thanksgiving. I cannot stress how important it is to keep in touch with your friends and make time for them. Anyhow, I got back and then it was time to fly down to Florida for the ACNP meeting. This was my first official presentation as a PD so I was really nervous (also presenting a new technique, new project, new everything!) but my boss was really supportive and the people that came by my poster were kind, insightful and encouraging. The location is also superb and the science top notch, I think this has dethroned Gordon Amygdala as my favorite meeting (most of those people were here anyway!) and I will definitely keep applying for that travel award for as long as I have to. After ACNP I flew home for Christmas and got an invitation from my advisor to co-author a review paper w/ another PD in the lab. This paper has been published already and can be found here. 

Spring 2016

I basically spent the spring working on additional experiments for my main project that I thought were necessary after presenting at ACNP and getting feedback (i.e. extra controls, increasing n, diff stats, etc...). This was a good thing because I also used some of that data for my F32 resubmission, which was due in April. As I wrote that sentence I remembered that this time was particularly busy for me in the lab as the cohort of animals for my other project (MAM-CMS) was born and I was running 2 behaviors + recording all of these animals (8 group total). It was so crazy busy (yet productive) that I swore to myself never to schedule that many experiments for the same couple of months ever again. 

Summer 2016

I presented a new and improved version of my main project poster at the Society for Biological Psychiatry in Atlanta. This was very cool because I had never been there (omg the aquarium!) and I got to reconnect with a lot of people I had met during my PhD but had not seen since the start of my PD. Apparently they really like this meeting and it is one of their go-tos. One of these people was my PhD advisor, whom I worked with on trying to wrap up and expedite my remaining PhD papers. Another person was another female minority graduate student that I knew during my PhD at NYU. It was great catching up with her and hearing about all the great science she will be doing in her PD lab and how the transition was for her. I remembered thinking that there are many paths that can lead to the same outcome, and feeling at peace. 2 interpersonal crises later, I received the score for my F32 resubmission and it was so good I A) almost fell off my chair and B) started crying (like, really). If you’re anything like me, you probably already know that you cannot have it all. It always feels like either I’m great in my personal life and so so at work or I’m killing it at work and everything else has gone to shit. To me, the score meant funding was pretty much a given, so it tipped the scales back to the killing it at work scenario and I settled for being happy with that and harnessing what was left of my happiness into that new positive direction. You can read about my F32 project here. I spent the rest of the summer celebrating my birthday, good fortune and prepping my first PD paper for submission. Also, I GOT A CAR! For the first time in nearly 7 years since I did my PhD in Manhattan and lol cars in NYC. 

Fall 2016

Remember that slump I mentioned I was in at the beginning of the summer? I decided to get over it by taking a solo trip to Thailand :] That is a post in itself (which will likely not end up here) but it was truly a once in a lifetime trip. I liked that it was hard (+16 hours to get there), new (first time ever in Asia) and was something totally out of my comfort zone. I met people from all over the US, rode elephants, visited UNESCO world heritage sites, learned about Buddhism, bar-hopped in Khao San Road and the red light district, shipped in a professional masseuse from the temples for a full body massage, ate weird food, etc. etc. Some of these pics can be found my scrolling down in my IG.  I feel like everyone should do something like that for themselves, at least every once in a while. I also learned that culture shock is funny because it can happen once you get back from your trip. I had a soft meltdown upon arriving at JFK and spent my first night back talking to a friend/processing everything I had witnessed. Can’t wait to go back and this time make it to Krabi or Phuket! 

During this semester, I also submitted my initial paper for my main project and added experiments to my secondary project. In more exciting news, I published a first author PhD paper on the effects of early life stress on social behavior and neural activity in cortical and limbic areas. You can read it here. I also got a travel award to present this work at the Society for Social Neuroscience in San Diego jus prior to SfN 2016, where I presented my first SfN poster as a PD. I was overwhelmed by the positive response and I got to do a podcast w/ Deb Budding from Neurocurious. Even though I was dead tired and delirious from my poster session being immediately before, it was SO MUCH FUN <3 I just checked and its still not up but will link it here when its available! SfN 2016 was followed by ACNP 2016 (first time presenting my MAM/CMS data, now DEFINITELY my favorite meeting), although I flew down to Florida early so I could make it to Art Basel (basically a conference, but for art!). I had such a great time that I almost forgot that my paper was rejected :( When I got back to Pitt, I focused on collecting data for the last experiments in yet another (small) project (that I have not mentioned previously yet). Then I went off to Puerto Rico to spend NYE w/ my family and friends :D

Winter 2016-2017 (aka where am I now)

I published another PhD paper. This one is a co-first paper and I’m really proud of it because it represents an effort by our group to incorporate techniques used in humans to facilitate translation of findings between animal models and humans. 

I revised and resubmitted my previously rejected paper. System says it’s still under review so we’ll see what happens... 

I submitted a grant based on an idea I had last fall that ties in nicely with my current work (pitched the idea to advisor at SfN 2016, luckily he agrees it is interesting/worth the shot).

Collected prelim data for above-mentioned grant.

Organizing the outline for a review I want to write that’s related to my grant. A colleague/mentor gave me the idea to do this since it’s a good chance to get a publication of all that lit search you did anyway! 

Put in 2 travel award applications (1 no, 1 still waiting) to present my work 

Nearly done collecting data for that random project 3 that slipped my mind for most of this post. I think this is because it’s not my main project and its a follow-up of someone else’s project. Presented this data at lab meeting and got some feedback about graphing/analyzing data. Working on this and aiming to submit by early summer. 

Traveling to Boston in 2 weeks to present in the Poverty and the Brain symposium at the Eastern Psychological Association meeting

Accepted a position as an ad hoc member of ACNP’s minority task force in order to help increase the participation of underrepresented minorities (URMs) in the college and to help retain them

Accepted a position as Review Editor in the Editorial Board of Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience 

WHEW. I finally got it all out. There you have it, what I’ve been up to since starting my postdoc and why I haven’t been more active on Twitter/here. Hopefully it goes someways in attenuating my I-should-be-posting-more-guilt :P 

Also, please feel free to write if you have any questions about PD life, the grad to PD transition or anything else you have read about here : ) In case you didn’t know, I started this blog as a grad student who DID NOT think they were going to make it in academia so the fact that this blog is still alive and so many of you still follow it/engage motivates me to keep it going for as long as I can. Maybe one day I’ll have a job and can look back at everything that led to that there. That’s the dream. Until next time! 

xoxo

Dr. M

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'Tiny Trump' Is the Internet Modern Meme Obsession

He Net’s Ultra-modern dig at President Trump has arrived in the shape of the Tiny Trump meme. It’s precisely what it appears like: People are Photoshopping pix of the president to make his appearance about two feet tall in six. It’s a pointed manner to take shots at Trump’s ego, as the president has been known to be a bit touchy on the subject of his length.

Jokes approximately the dimensions of Trump’s frame have already ruffled his feathers as soon as earlier than. During the 2016 election, Senator Marco Rubio suggested that he had small arms, obviously insinuating a connection to something else. Trump became so disillusioned that he took time In the course of the following Republican debate to guarantee us of a, “I assure you there’s no problem.” With Tiny Trump, Human beings are over again looking to capitalize on Trump’s apparent lack of confidence in this region.

The meme seems to have begun with a pair of posts on the r/pictures subreddit on Wednesday. The primary, with the aid of u/RedBlimp, depicts an overly huge President Obama.

five Matters about Donald Trump You Failed to Understand

Donald John Trump, born on June 14, 1946, in Queens, NY, the man who is aware of “a tiny leak can sink a delivery” is a very influential media character along with his very own Television display – “The Apprentice”, presently a Presidential candidate and has married three instances with five children. The Trump brand is an end result of industries which encompass actual estate, mortgages, entertainment, hospitality, restaurants, and many others. The actual property billionaire synonymous for a luxurious dwelling is famed for having the most celebrated addresses in NYC and around the sector. The Trump signature is visible thru his sumptuous structures together with the Fifth Avenue skyscraper, Trump Parc, Trump Tower, Trump plaza, The Trump World Tower, 610 Park Avenue, and so forth. Under are a number of the exciting data about Trump that one desires to Understand:

1. Financial disaster – Donald Trump did not always devour from silver plates and had his share of misfortunes. inside the 12 months 1990, he almost went bankrupt and changed into left with nearly $four billion USD in debt. He needed to surrender 50% of the stakes of the renowned Taj Mahal Online casino to the bondholders to grope out of the dire situation. It changed into a prime hit and Trump in no way confronted such threatening Financial ruin issues in his lifestyles; although, he did face numerous crises which had been negligible to his position. These days, Trump stands because the CEO of the “Trump Corporation” that owns over 100 businesses.

2. Soccer – inside the year 1983, Donald Trump owned the new Jersey Generals which changed into a franchise of the USFL (U.S.A. Soccer League). despite the fact that, the entire event needed to come to a halt after 3 years (1983-1985) there’s no denying that the team of Trump produced some of the skilled gamers of the game like Herschel Walker.

three. Wrestling hustles – The consultant of Trump won over the consultant of McMahon In the course of the Wrestlemania-23 which hosted the fund titled “Warfare of billionaires”. Trump got the privilege to shave the pinnacle fo McMahon which changed into the wager agreed before the healthy. There was a lot controversy when Trump turned into said to have sold the infamous wrestling display “Uncooked” in the year 2009 from the owner Vince McMahon. However, There was reputable assertion that There was no such ‘sale’.

4. Teetotaler – Donald Trump lives the existence of a wealthy prince, however in no way got interested by taking alcohol. He’s believed to be a teetotaler without an awful lot affection to booze, which should be an inspiration for people who drool in the mirth of this risk addiction.

5. Board recreation – there is a board sport on Trump and it’s far known as “Trump: the sport” and it changed into launched inside the yr 1989, but it needed to be discontinued as this recreation Did not have become famous in phrases of opinions and sales as well. the sport is similar to monopoly but it could not obtain the attention. However, it stands out as a record due to the fact no different Presidential candidate has a board sport named after them.

Dismissing the controversies and extrovert nature of Donald Trump, his life is a lesson for all people needing to obtain unscalable heights through dedication. The billions in his pockets display his willpower as a man or woman and he can be a proposal for many generations to come back.

Is Donald Trump the Satisfactory Baby-kisser in the world?

The media is complete of vitriol for Donald Trump.

Even amongst those political commentators who generally incline in the direction of proper wing views, he is a discern often mentioned in phrases towards naked hatred than goal political analysis.

Yet what is Trump surely saying? Is he being misrepresented in the press when portrayed as talking totally for ‘the lunatic fringe’? Does he absolutely constitute mainstream The use as an alternative extra than his warring parties would really like to suggest?

The Pressures in US Society

All societies have stresses and tensions inside them – and the united states are not any exception.

Because the Sixties, US society has changed out of all popularity and has arguably fractured alongside fundamental fault traces. those stress points are not exactly news and consist of Things which include abortion, gay marriage, race, social care, gun laws, immigration, multiculturalism, financial control and so forth.

Although it’s very easy to portray those as a typically Republican proper wing as opposed to Democrat left wing political inclinations, this is overly simplistic. There are People with robust opinions on all facets and it is faulty to assume all Democrats assist abortion on demand as it’s a “female’s proper” or that everyone Republicans guide loose get entry to guns on call for.

But what has undeniably befallen increasingly more over recent decades is that liberal viewpoints captured the ethical high floor and are Nowadays frequently represented as being ‘mainstream’, ‘enlightened’, ‘simply’ and ‘politically correct’. by using contrast, viewpoints that argue towards (e.G.) extended social care provisions are labeled as ‘reactionary’, ‘outdated’, ‘oppressive’ or the area of marginalized cranks.

However, the intelligentsia in DC political and media leadership circles seem to have made the error of believing their very own propaganda on this appreciate.

it’s perhaps understandable due to the fact they’d ‘seen off’ the previous rumblings of groups which include the Tea Birthday party. So, they extremely underestimated the frustrations in very large sections of ‘conventional’ US society who lacked an outlet for his or her views, fears, hopes and aspirations – and into that breach stepped Donald Trump.

Trump – A Voice for the Unheard

Something one thinks about character factors of Trump’s method In the course of the Primaries, there’s little question that he has tapped right into a tremendous reservoir of discontent in US society.

Nobody should doubt that Trump has the big-scale and spontaneous help of many in the US. His perspectives, whether or not one agrees with them aren’t, are those of a large range of normal Individuals who’ve been annoyed by using no longer having a spokesperson.

within the past, Democrat Presidential candidates have portrayed this institution as political ‘dinosaurs’, with perspectives that haven’t any area in current America. Many conventional ‘comfortable’ Republican contenders have similarly distanced themselves from this section of society, as they strove to undertake centrist stances and positions that were each ‘Computer’ and of their view, ones which would lead them to doubtlessly electable.

Trump’s splendid thought and intelligent vision become to apprehend the scale of this group of dissatisfied voters, who were something but a tiny fringe minority. Even had it been in his nature, which it possibly isn’t always, he wasn’t going to tone down his perspectives certainly to make himself famous with the media or the ‘men in clubs’ in Washington.

He has efficaciously long past over the pinnacle of the political and media establishments and appealed to the masses – and masses they may be. that is why to this point he has been so a success and why he is created a political earthquake.

If not anything else, he is forcing the ‘unheard hundreds’ back into awareness inside the corridors of electricity.

Is Trump Electable?

Already, the Washington status quo is in hazard of writing Trump off, must he get to face against Hilary Clinton. The same worn-out-antique clichés are being wheeled out, branding him a racist, sexist and unfortunately deluded parent who doesn’t constitute a sizable proportion folks society.

those views could be VERY naive.

it’s already clear that Trump does not simply appeal to older white and ‘pink neck’ citizens. His undeniable-speak and a shortage of worry of controversy are hanging a chord with many – and that could move traditional Republican-Democrat demarcations.

For instance, it’s absurd and patronizing to postulate that African-Individuals may not vote for Trump due to his perspectives on immigration through Mexico. If they are struggling to discover paintings and housing, then looking at local immigration troubles as a possible contributory element is probably simply as possibly for African-American voters as White citizens.

equally, his stand on abortion would possibly properly ring a bell with full-size numbers of predominantly Catholic Hispanic People, regardless of his perspectives on unlawful immigration across the border or gun manipulate.

Many citizens of all political inclinations are probably attracted to his stance on breaking the Washington establishment – Anything section of society they arrive from.

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