#during the bands time off between continents

[nicoscheer]

X

Recent Alex Turner

[dirtyzucchini]

Let me tell you something about Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father and, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, remained, attached as liaison with the Canadian consulate.

There was never much of a chance that Benton Fraser would grow up to be what most people would casually call "a regular guy". From what little insight we get, no part of his childhood would have been standard. Looking at the anecdote Bob Fraser tells in Burning Down The House, we can assume that Benton grew up in a cabin his father built by hand, in a location remote enough and far enough North that living in an igloo during the construction of said cabin was a sensible thing for his parents to do. We see one picture of the family in Good For The Soul, and it is a puzzler:

Now, I wasn't around in the mid to late 1960's when that photo would have been taken, and I've never been to Canada's far North, but everything I could find anywhere tells me that that is not how (white!) people dressed then even up there, and no, I am not talking about trendy fashion. Everyday clothing looked pretty much like what we still wear today, but the people in that picture don't. They look like this guy - a European "explorer" whose picture was taken in 1889:

Side note: I am purposely only talking about white/western/mainstream society in this post because the Frasers are white.

I wonder what drove them to live like this, and so far away from other people? It can't have been money, Bob would have made enough to support them. I guess Fraser's parents weren't regular guys, either.

Anyway, we know that Bob wasn't around much while Fraser's mother was alive, and even less so after her death. He handed the boy off to his own parents instead, and Benton was raised by literal, real life Edwardians, people who were born before the invention of band-aids and bubblegum. Public radio broadcasts were cutting-edge technology when they were young. I'm glad they stepped up, and I'm sure they did their best, but they weren't exactly well-equipped to prepare a child for life in modern society. They were librarians who for some reason moved around a lot. When he was eight, they took Benton to a place called Alert - the northernmost continously inhabited place in the world. Unfortunately it's inhabited by soldiers and researchers who go there on six-months-tours, but it counts because the tours overlap. Fraser would have been the only child there, and, the times being what they were, his grandmother the only woman. What librarians would have done in Alert we can only speculate about, but between this and the fact that they helped build an English-speaking library in China before the revolution, we can safely assume that we are dealing with another generation of non-regular Frasers here. This idea is supported by the fact that they fed Fraser arctic tern for Christmas. Each bird weighs under 130 grams, and they would be hard to come by in northern Canada in December because they migrate to literally the other end of the world after breeding in the Arctic in the summer. I'm not entirely certain what this says about Fraser's grandparents, but it sure says something, doesn't it?

This bird may scream, but it does not scream Christmas to me.

Listen, I LOVE that Fraser's grandmother taught him how to box from a book.

Perhaps this one from 1922? In this book, the writer "not only describes the various moves of the game and traces the history of their development but deals comprehensively with all the factors of body and mind that make for success in the ring." Sounds like a good choice!

I do NOT love that she taught him that being in the hospital for three weeks after being shot in the back is "babying yourself". She also raised Bob Fraser to be the kind of man who tells his journal "The last time I saw Ben, he was barely tall enough to reach my belt. When I said good-bye he shook my hand. Never a tear or a complaint. Seven years old and he's already a stronger man than I'll ever be. Someday I'll tell him.", and friends, I DO NOT love that at all. That is NOT a healthy way to deal with emotions, and I think we can agree that growing up guided by these mindsets did Fraser no favors at all. Look at how he lives! His apartment is absolutely bare-bones, no personality, and after that he literally lives in his office - this is a man who gets REALLY uncomfortable when he's comfortable, is what I'm saying. Everything he does is quick and efficient to make sure he can devote a maximum amount of time to his work. I'd bet "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" was a very common saying in the Fraser household.

Look, our upbringing informs who we become, how we approach life, how we connect to those around us. Fraser's view of the world is completely different from how other people see it. Long before he's displaced geographically, he's displaced in time.

He grew up without TV, and while living with librarians gave him access to a large number of books, the libraries they worked at served remote communities and would not have been all too well funded. It stands to reason they would have had to make their books last as long as possible, and that new purchases would have been, shall we say, conservative? Copies of beloved classics, books with general appeal, books with educational/instructional value would have made up the bulk of purchases. Even if the librarians wanted to, there would have been little money to buy more controversial books - and it doesn't seem likely that Fraser's grandparents would have wanted to. Fraser probably grew up on adventure tales, detective stories and, as a teen and young adult, the classics from Austen to Shakespeare.

When he gets to Depot in Regina to become a Mountie he has nothing in common with the other recruits, and that continues throughout all his career. There's a reason he's still a Constable after all his years of service: he's severely lacking in social skills, and his upbringing is a big part of that problem*. He was raised by Edwardians on Victorian (and Romantic) mores and values, and bridging that gap to make connections with people from what's essentially a different world is very, very hard.

TL,DR: Fraser is both an alien and a time traveler, and we should remember that when we talk about him.

*Other parts of the problem are his queerness and neurodiversity, but those are topics for another essay. Please know that by problem I do NOT mean there's something wrong with him, I mean that there's something wrong with how society treats people like him.

Big thank you to @sammaggs and @sammeltassensammelsurium for excellent feedback!

[markantonys]

rotating potential Mat Show Structures in my brain...........assuming that ebou dar is cut (which feels likely if mat is indeed already having a southwestern coastal roadtrip with elayne and nynaeve in s3), what if:

s3: gets his marriage prophecy, tanchico trip with the girls, meets tuon (without knowing she's Prophecy Wife) but they go their separate ways by the end of the season

s4: returns to rand's side, forms the band, leads the band as part of the dumai's wells rescue mission because dumai's wells needs to involve as many main characters as possible goddammit (and because i need the romance of mat helping rescue rand)

s5: leads a campaign against the seanchan with rand and/or on rand's behalf (depending on what else rand has going on this season), reencounters tuon and kidnaps her (but may or may not yet know she's Prophecy Wife; either way, kidnapping motive is instead something calculating like taking a high-ranking seanchan as a prisoner of war, or something morally righteous like rescuing her from her own people's assassins and taking her off with him to keep her safe)

this would be adding mat into rand's TPOD storyline, of course, but at the same time it would ALSO be mat absorbing ituralde's storyline from the next few books. i remember talking once with @butterflydm about how ituralde is basically Knockoff Mat in that he's getting a whole spotlit Clever General storyline while mat, who's supposed to be our main Clever General, is off fucking around in the circus.

so i feel like involving mat in the seanchan campaigns could be an elegant solution all around. mat actually gets to fulfill his narrative role of leading armies on rand's behalf, the seanchan campaign storyline is in the hands of a main character (vs. rand doing it only briefly and then ituralde taking over the bulk of it), mat gets involved with the seanchan in a manner more organic than "author drops a wall on him to force him to encounter them", and it lends a huge amount of much-needed enemies-to-lovers narrative tension to the mat/tuon relationship if he is actively leading military campaigns against her forces (like he did for about.......5 pages in the books).

now wandering off into very-hypothetical ship-related territory thinking of what mat/tuon would look like in this scenario.

i'm thinking mat never finds out during s3 that tuon is a high-ranking seanchan and thinks she's just His Good Buddy Tuon (because she's disguised and undercover). but as the s3 finale stinger, the audience finds out that tuon is mat's Prophecy Wife AND is the heir to the seanchan throne, so we've got some tasty dramatic irony. s4 has tuon doing a solo storyline of seanchan political intrigue, either still in the western westlands or back in the actual court in seanchan (the latter would be sooooo cool, but it depends on how many times they want her zipping back and forth between continents). but her time spent with mat, elayne, and nynaeve (two marath'damane who are in fact people!) in s3 has got the gears turning, and in s4 we get to see tuon in her natural habitat but we also see that she's starting to question and doubt some Seanchan Ways because our kids have expanded her worldview.

in s5, tuon is tasked with heading up the next wave of military efforts in the westlands. so when mat crosses her path again, she is decked out in full seanchan regalia and he realizes that His Good Buddy Tuon is a high-ranking seanchan and must have been using him in s3 when she acted like his friend, so he's all hurt and betrayed (alternately, this reveal could happen as their final scene in s3 and mat is still feeling betrayed when they reunite in s5), but tuon genuinely did like him in s3 so she's hurt that he now hates her but she also can't reveal any of this weakness because he's the enemy general and her people would think she's a traitor if she shows any hints of non-hostile feelings towards him, and despite his anger mat can't help holding onto some non-hostile feelings for her which makes him even more angry with himself, and it's all very delicious.

kidnapping happens, and for s6 they embark on a roadtrip back across the continent (maybe with mat intending to deliver tuon as a hostage to rand; we could even mix the 2 motives i brainstormed, where he impulsively saves her life out of feelings but Then justifies it as taking her with him as a hostage), and all this prior development means several good things for the show being able to sell their relationship as a bona fide romance (and tuon as a dynamic, complex character).

1) tuon having spent time with westlanders and free channelers already in s3 and having spent s4-5 questioning Seanchan Ways on her own means she is now primed for a final push over the edge of unlearning seanchan conditioning and admitting that slavery is wrong (which she has to do IF the show wants mat/tuon to be a bona fide romance rather than a political marriage; a political marriage with an unrepentant tuon would also be a viable route, but show!mat would never ever ever fall in love with an unrepentant slaver so if it's going to be a bona fide romance then she has to repent) and ideally admitting that she herself can channel (feat. tasty scene early in the season of her accidentally channeling for the first time to protect mat). now tuon is a complex character who grows and develops over the course of the story, and it does not defy all reason, credibility, and established characterization that mat could fall for her. improvement!

2) if mat is feeling angry and betrayed by the discovery of tuon's seanchan identity, and if tuon is hurt by this because she genuinely likes him and wasn't faking friendship in s3 and wishes he would believe her, now mat has the "upper hand" in their roadtrip dynamic, so to speak, and tuon is in the position of needing to work to earn mat's trust. so rather than mat nonsensically handing over his loyalty and protectiveness at the drop of a hat to tuon who's used to being worshipped and takes mat doing so as her due and walks all over him with no pushback, now it's a more equal dynamic and a better power balance because tuon has to work hard to give mat (and the audience) a reason to believe she's Better Than Other Seanchan. improvement!

imagine how hard the "you're not my enemy, but your empire is" line would go in this context!

and i haven't even thought about when mat would find out tuon is Prophecy Wife in this structure. i would love for it to be not until after he's already falling for her naturally, but if he's fighting against a seanchan army that she's leading in s5, he might not be able to go very long without hearing the "daughter of the nine moons" title. idk! even if he does find out fairly early, i know that show!mat would not let this information immediately remove his spine from his body, so i have faith either way.

[tetsunabouquet]

KNB AU: Headcanon

A/N: Today, I will hereby publish my headcanon for which friendgroups would form and what kind of shennanigans would go down if there was an AU where everyone attended the same school (and I literally mean everyone from the Japanese schools). Ignore logistics.

-Kise and Takao would be close friends. Kise would happily oblige whenever Takao wishes to prank Midorima, and these two are the bane of Midorima's existence. -Momoi would be the Gretchen Weiner of the school. She knows everything on everyone which is why people are afraid to mess with her. Yet she's popular because she's such a sweetheart. She'd remain close with Aomine but I definitely feel like she'd develop a strong friendship with Reo Mibuchi too. -Kotaro and Izuki would be the school clowns, generally having fun around the school together and annoying people with their stupid jokes. Every once in a while, Teppei Kiyoshi joins them if he feels like the school could use a more light-hearted atmosphere. -Considering Momoi and Riko would be the coach and manager respectively, all the boys will have banded together to force annual cooking classes on them before those girls get everyone killed. -Mibuchi also recruits Sakurai to his friend group. They love making adorable dishes and sweets together. -Haizaki seldomly gets in trouble at school. Why? Because Hanamiya is on the Disciplinary Comittee and enjoys watching Haizaki's chaos unfold. Why should he get his hands dirty when Haizaki is already doing things for him? -They once held an eating competition between Nebuya and Murasakibara. -Because of his laziness, Aomine gets punished a lot by Riko. -Though Riko trusts Hyuga and Kasamatsu to keep Kise's antics in line. -Takao is a bit more of a smooth talker to get himself out of trouble compared to most of the other mischief makers. -Even after graduation, Kimura continous to supply Riko with fruit to throw at players. -Akashi's original personality actually holds very deep respect for Riko's skill to coach at such a young age and tries to become friends with her. -Himuro often joins Kagami and Kuroko during lunch time, and Kuroko often learns some interesting information about Kagami's childhood he uses for trolling purposes. -Aomine plays with Nigou very often and even gives him little gifts, which makes Kuroko wonder if Aomine is trying to steal his dog. -Midorima hates Nigou almost as much as Kagami does, it surprisingly ended in a few bonding moments. -There's nothing scarier then the day the team get split up in two for practise and Hanamiya and Akashi get to be the respective captains of each team. These two are playing basketball at extreme strategic levels that could make chess masterminds shake in their boots. Their practice competitions are scarier then anything Jabberwock could throw at them. -Wakamatsu developped an addiction to valerian pills, because of their calming nature. His team contains too many personalities that tick him off.

[mau-mao]

Piebald in Cats

White spotting grades

Eye colors + colloquial terms

EYE COLOURS White, or mostly white, cats often have blue eyes, amber eyes or one of each colour. Non pedigree white, or mostly white cats, may have green or yellow eyes. Non-pedigree colour & mostly-colour cats can have eyes any colour, but rarely blue eyes. In pedigree cats, breed standards define which eye colours are allowed.

Geneticist terms

Unusual patterns (developmental)

(Brindled Bicolour) Due to failure of one of the pigments in a red/black tortoiseshell.

Roan patterns

Salt-and-pepper pattern, most striking in black roan. Associated with Karpati gene and Lykoi gene.

Dominant mutation from Eastern Europe (Poland, Romania), variable roan effects including "reverse colourpoint" effect.

Found in Finnish feral colony, 2007; Identified 2024 as mutation of white spotting gene.

Tabby-style pattern seen in supposed feral cat, resembling snow leopard clouding. Authenticity not confirmed.

Age/health related

Early stage - isolated white spots. Later stage - Cobweb/Snowflake effect progressing to solid white.

Fur around the eyes becomes pale, giving spectacled effect.

Fur may grow back white.

May be greying of fur around muzzle.

"Thai" white spotting gene (skunk stripe)

The Thai White Spotting pattern includes a white dorsal stripe and a white tail that may have a band or blotches of black. In Thailand, the pattern is called But-Se-Weis or But-Tal-Lon and various degrees of white—all with a dorsal stripe—are depicted in manuscripts. These patterns can also be seen in native Thai cats. The diagrams below show some of the variations.

Theories of how white spotting works - DISPROVEN

Theory 1: The melanoblasts arise from the neural crest (the back of the embryo) and migrate over the body when the skin forms. If melanoblasts don't reach their intended position before the skin is fully formed, those areas of skin won't have pigment producing cells and will be white. This is why white is most often found on areas furthest from the neural crest: paws, belly and chest. Areas closest to the neural crest—the back and tail—are most likely to get pigment cells.

Theory 2: A cellular mechanism reduces the melanoblasts in certain areas. Melanoblasts first migrate over the whole surface of the embryo. At the extremities, they selectively die out (apoptosis) or are biochemically turned off. The dying off/turning off spreads towards the torso. How far it reaches depends on a chemical gradient that is strongest at the extremities, but gets weaker further away. The white belly area is the embryonic ventral seam that expands rapidly during growth.

Theory of how white spotting works - PROVEN

The White Spotting gene affects the embryo melanoblasts which become pigment-producing skin cells (melanocytes).

Theory 3: For high grade white spotting there may be another mechanism that produces jigsaw-like patches. First the melanoblasts migrate evenly across the skin surface. Then the expanding skin surface "cracks" during early embryo growth. Cracks break up the coloured surface into islands. The islands drift apart over the embryonic surface as the embryo grows. White areas form between the coloured islands. The white areas are like scar tissue and there are no more melanocytes available to fill them in. Some islands can get pushed together to create a mask-and-mantle pattern. It's similar to how continents moving on the Earth's surface. The white belly area is the embryonic ventral seam that expands rapidly during embryo growth (or it is the limit of melanocyte migration). Black feet are black islands that get pushed to the foot extremity by the expansion of the belly region the same time that limbs were forming.

CREDITS TO MESSYBEAST CATS

[bedlamsbard]

☆!

Oooh, let's talk about the Steve and Peggy not-dance in Of Home Near 8, since this was a scene I rewrote a couple of times, and the final version is drastically different from the previous versions. (Which I've included here too.)

This scene is set in the Stork Club, the nightclub where Steve and Peggy were supposed to have their date in CATFA. There is a real Stork Club that was around in the 1940s, but it was in New York City, not London. There was also another Stork Club in London, but from what I could find it wasn't around until the 1950s. (It's currently called the Cuckoo Club.) I'm not sure if the one mentioned in the film is meant to be the NYC one or the London one. After angsting about it I just made it a London nightclub, but it's not meant to be based on the real Stork Club or have any real internal geography.

The back of his neck prickled as he began to make his slow meandering way through the crowd, turning his head from side to side as if he was searching for someone. Despite the music and the general festive atmosphere, Steve had the sensation that he was in enemy territory, like the occupied cities on the continent he had passed through during the war, aware that someone – maybe more than one someone – was watching him with their hand on their gun. Even before the past two years on the run he had gotten used to the feeling of looking over his shoulder and not showing off that that was what he was doing; since then it had become second nature.

The first rule of going on the run is don’t run, walk, Natasha’s voice whispered in his memory. He wasn’t on the run again, not yet, but the same principle applied.

This scene is meant to mirror Steve's Wanda-induced vision in Age of Ultron, as Steve later realizes, so this entire section is pulled straight out of AoU. Except that they're just at a regular nightclub with a regular band, not a USO band.

There was a dreamlike air to his passage through the nightclub, in the flare of the women’s skirts on the dance floor and the steady pulse of the swing music, so unlike what he had gotten used to in the twenty-first century. Someone popped the cork on a champagne bottle near him and Steve flinched, startled by the sound and the spray of the liquid that caught the edge of his left hand. Flashbulbs popped nearby, a couple of photographers taking pictures of the dancers and various couples and groups at the round tables, making Steve jerk instinctively away as if they had been muzzle flashes instead.

He turned quickly at the sound of raised voices, just in time to see two soldiers shoving at each other, a third quickly getting between them. On his other side, one soldier wiped spilled wine from another’s shirt, both men laughing, the red liquid looking horrifyingly like blood in the room’s dim light.

I’ve been here before, Steve thought suddenly. Not the Stork Club; he would have remembered that. There was an oddly hollow quality to the memory, unreal somehow, and it was that which let him place it.

Wanda.

Three years ago in South Africa on Ulysses Klaue’s ship. It wasn’t an exact replica of the induced vision – no USO banner behind the band, the music was different, no MPs – but it was close enough to raise the hair on the back of his neck. Which meant –

He turned before Peggy could speak.

He hadn’t seen her before she had left headquarters, but somehow it wasn’t a surprise to see that she was wearing exactly what she had worn in Wanda’s vision – blue dress, silver earrings, a red silk flower pinned to her right shoulder. Whatever she had been about to say died unspoken at the expression on his face; after a moment where they just stared at each other, she said, “Are you all right?”

“I –” Steve hesitated. “I owe you a dance.”

From here on I rewrote this entire section. In the first few versions of the scene, Peggy essentially came to terms with Steve not being the same guy who went into the ice, which is the exact opposite of what happens in the final version. (I'll put both alternate versions of the scene at the end.)

Her eyebrows went up. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Under the circumstances, I’m not going to insist on collecting.”

Steve swallowed. “Maybe I want you to.”

Steve really wants to actually get the dance he's been waiting for for seventy-three years, but he can't do it without Peggy.

Peggy’s eyebrows stayed up. She was quiet for a long few heartbeats, during which the song the band had been playing finished and there was a brief moment of silence before they started up again. Into it, she said finally, “Sometimes I wonder if any of this is real to you. If to you we’re all just – just playactors in some elaborate pantomime like those awful stage shows you used to put on, so you can say or do whatever you want because it doesn’t matter. Lie about her, wear that uniform, say that to me.”

Fun fact: in one of the versions of this scene I put the lyrics of the song the band is playing in, but they weren't as relevant in the angrier final version, rather than the bittersweet previous versions. It's "When the Lights Go On Again" by Vaughn Monroe, linked version is sung by Vera Lynn ("when the lights go on again all over the world / and the boys are home again all over the world / and rain or snow is all that may fall from the skies above / a kiss won't mean 'goodbye' but 'hello to love').

“I know it’s real,” Steve said, swallowing again. The words hurt, but they were meant to; she knew him well enough for that. “That you’re real – you and Howard and Phillips and the Howlies –”

“Do you?” Peggy said. “Do you really? Because sometimes you don’t act like it.”

“This would be a hell of a lot easier if I thought it wasn’t real,” Steve told her. “A hell of a lot.”

Peggy doesn't know what to think about 2018 Steve -- and she doesn't really accept that he's 2018 Steve, instead of 1945 Steve that something completely bizarre happened to.

She shook her head. “I don’t understand you anymore, Steve,” she said. “I used to, or I thought I did, and now – it’s like one man went up in the Valkyrie and someone else came back. I want to understand and I can’t and you won’t let me.”

“Have you even tried?” Steve said softly. “Every time you’ve talked to me since I got here you’ve been trying to catch me out in one lie or another.”

In Peggy's defense Steve does keep lying, it's just not the thing that she thinks he's lying about that he's lying about.

“And you keep lying,” Peggy said. “It’s like you can’t help yourself. You wouldn’t have done that six weeks ago; it’s not who you are. Only now –”

Steve shut his eyes briefly, then opened them again, because if he was going to say this, then he had to look her in the eye when he did it. “Then maybe you never really knew me, Peggy, because I was always this guy. Maybe you only ever knew the guy you wanted me to be.”

“I don’t believe that,” Peggy said. “I won’t believe that.”

Steve swallowed hard. “Then maybe that’s the problem.”

I've put a lot of thought into both Peggy's relationship with Steve and Peggy's perceived relationship with Steve, and what it's like over the course of CATFA and afterwards, in Agent Carter. (Even though this story takes place prior to AC by more than a year, it's a good look at how Peggy's idea of Steve crystallized post-death.) I think Peggy does have a very idealized view of Steve, in the same way that Steve has a very idealized view of Peggy, and in Peggy's case that's very heavily affected by the fact that Steve (apparently) died tragically a month earlier -- well, six weeks earlier by this point in the story. Steve died and everyone treated Peggy like a widow (even though they hadn't really been anything but a 'maybe' and that was on Peggy, not Steve), and she was able to build up an ideal of Steve. I think Steve says elsewhere in this story that Peggy never looked twice at him (as a potential romantic partner) pre-serum and I do think that's true. But I think post-death PEGGY doesn't think that's true, so she has this very idealized view of pre-serum Steve as being "real" Steve -- it's why she keeps the pre-serum photo of him from the end of CATFA in AC and later in Endgame. Distance and not having the actual person there lets her believe that she always felt that way about him and even that post-serum Steve was less "real," especially since post-serum Steve was ~America's golden boy and that woman does not like sharing. And this is the scene where Steve realizes that maybe Peggy really doesn't know him as well as he thinks she does.

A muscle in her jaw worked. She looked like she was on the verge of tears – Steve felt like he was on the verge of tears, though he didn’t know how much of that showed on his face. He wanted to reach for her, to do something to take even a little of that uncomprehending misery away from her, but he had just forfeited any right he had to comfort her. He started to open his mouth, to apologize, maybe, but he couldn’t do that either. She wouldn’t believe him and it would just be empty words, meaningless except as an attempt to absolve himself.

There was something horribly final about it, as if Steve had finally severed some last remaining tie to the life he should have had, to the man he should have been – his own choice this time, and not the one that fate or God or Abraham Erskine had made for him. For a wild moment, all he wanted to do was take it back, to shout that it was a mistake and that he still wanted this, this life, this woman, this person that no one had ever really laid to rest six years or six weeks or seventy-three years ago, the man that maybe he could have been. He wanted his life back, the same way he had wanted it every day for six years.

But it wasn’t his life anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time.

Steve's known it for a while but he's admitting it now.

*

First version of the scene:

He turned before Peggy could speak.

He hadn’t seen her before she had left headquarters, but somehow it wasn’t a surprise to see that she was wearing exactly what she had worn in Wanda’s vision – blue dress, silver earrings, a red silk flower pinned to her right shoulder. Whatever she had been about to say died unspoken at the expression on his face; after a moment where they just stared at each other, she said, “Are you all right?”

“I –” Steve hesitated. “I owe you a dance.”

“I think your – wife – might protest.”

He winced at the slight but deliberate pauses she had put around the word wife.  Natasha had told him about the conversation she had had with Peggy the previous day; Peggy had been avoiding him ever since Howard’s arrival, and now he knew why.

“No,” Steve said. “She knows –”  He didn’t know how to end that.  What this means to me would probably just make Peggy laugh in his face.  He just said again, “She knows.”

Peggy looked at him for a long moment, her expression unreadable, and then she said simply, “I don’t.”

Steve shut his eyes, heavy with grief.  He could have explained, maybe, or at least tried to, but he knew without even saying a word that it didn’t really matter.  He could say anything he liked, but it would just be words now; the chance for anything else had already passed.  He had to try anyway.  “I’m sorry.”

“I am too,” Peggy said.  “Sorry.”  She took a deep breath, as if bracing herself, and said, “It was never going to be me, was it?”

I've put in and cut out the "it was never going to be me, was it?" line through SEVERAL different scenes now; it also appeared in a previous version of Chapter 7, when Peggy confronts Steve after she finds out from Natasha that they started sleeping together in 1945.

Steve swallowed hard.  “It could have been,” he said.  “I wanted it to be.  For a really – for a really long time.”

“When did you stop?”

It took everything Steve had not to look away, to keep his gaze fixed on hers, because if nothing else he owed her that.  He still hesitated before he admitted, “When we got here.”

This version of the scene was written before the Peggy and Natasha conversation in Chapter 7, so it had to be changed.

Peggy made a sound like she had been struck, a little hitching gasp that tore at Steve’s heart.  He started to reach for her and then stopped, knowing that the only right he had to comfort her was that of a friend, and he had never been entirely certain they were even that.  For an instant her gaze met his again, then she took a step backwards, out of his reach.

“It’s not because of her, is it?” she said, her voice hoarse from suppressed tears. “It’s not even because of me.  You’re – you’re really not him, are you?  No more than I’m the woman I was in 1939.”

I honestly don't think Peggy has the level of self-awareness to have this realization here.

Steve shook his head, a brief, compressed gesture. “No,” he said.  “I’m not.  I – I wish I still was.  But I’m not.  I’m sorry.”

Peggy’s nod was just as compressed, barely more than her chin lifting for an instant. “I’m sorry too.”

There was something horribly final about it, as if Steve had finally severed some last remaining tie to the life he should have had, to the man he should have been – his own choice this time, and not one that fate or God or Abraham Erskine had made for him.  For a wild moment all he wanted to do was take it back, to shout that he had been mistaken and that he still wanted this, this life, this woman, this person that she and Howard and the Commandos had all buried six years or six weeks or seventy-three years ago.  He wanted his life back, the same way he had wanted it every day for the last six years.

This paragraph remained the same in all the versions.

You could want anything.  Being able to have it was something else entirely.

*

Second version of this scene (the songfic version).

He turned before Peggy could speak.

He hadn’t seen her before she had left headquarters, but somehow it wasn’t a surprise to see that she was wearing exactly what she had worn in Wanda’s vision – blue dress, silver earrings, a red silk flower pinned to her right shoulder.  Whatever she had been about to say died unspoken at the expression on his face; after a moment where they just stared at each other, she said, “Are you all right?”

“I –”  Steve hesitated.  “I owe you a dance.”

Her eyebrows went up slightly, then her expression softened a little. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Under the circumstances, I’m not going to insist on collecting.”

Steve felt a muscle in his jaw work.  “Peggy –” he said, but he didn’t know what came after that.  He just let her name hang there between them until he finally added, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t answer at first and the silence stretched out between them as the band finished its current set.  There was a little shuffling as a singer came onto the stage.

“I am too,” Peggy said.  “Sorry.”

For a long moment they just stared at each other.  The singer began to croon “When the Lights Go On Again” and Steve shut his eyes briefly.

When the lights go on again all over the world And the boys are home again all over the world –

“I still owe you a dance,” he said.

Peggy looked like she was going to cry.  “Steve, you’re married,” she said simply. “Or close enough to make no difference.”

Again, I don't think Peggy has this level of self-awareness. It also meant the next scene didn't really work, because it completely stopped the flow of action in the chapter, and this has to be a THINGS ARE HAPPENING! chapter. (The next scene was also cut.)

It was the first time that she had actually admitted it, instead of arguing it with him or using it like a challenge.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I am.”

And rain or snow is all that may fall from the skies above A kiss won’t mean goodbye but hello to love.

Peggy turned her head slightly towards the stage, her mouth crooking upwards for an instant at the irony of the lyrics.  Then she looked back at him and said, her voice trembling a little, “It was never going to be me, was it?”

“It could have been,” Steve said, swallowing hard. “I wanted it to be.  For a long time – for a really long time.”

“When did you stop?”

It took everything Steve had not to look away from her, to keep his gaze fixed on hers.  He still hesitated before he admitted, “When we got here.”

Again, written before the revised scene in 7.

Peggy made a sound like she had been struck.  Steve started to reach for her and then stopped, his hand still outstretched, knowing that the only right he had to comfort her was that of a friend, and he had never been entirely certain that they were even that.  She took a step back, out of his reach.

Genuinely, I'm not sure that canon Steve and Peggy were actually friends, they had too much other stuff going on with the both of them.

“It’s not because of her, is it?” she said hoarsely. “It’s not even because of me.  You’re – you’re really not him, are you?  No more than I’m the woman I was in 1939.”

I have some very firm ideas about what Peggy was up to before the war and in the early days of the war, pre-SSR.

Steve shook his head, a brief, compressed gesture. “I’m not him,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Peggy’s nod was just as compressed, barely more than her chin lifting for an instant. “I’m sorry too.”

There was something horribly final about it, as if Steve had finally severed some last remaining tie to the life he should have had, to the man he should have been – his own choice this time, and not one that fate or God or Abraham Erskine had made for him.  For a wild moment all he wanted to do was take it back, to shout that he had been mistaken and that he still wanted this, this life, this woman, this person that she and Howard and the Commandos had all buried six years or six weeks or seventy-three years ago.  He wanted his life back, the same way he had wanted it every day for the last six years.

You could want anything.  Being able to have it was something else entirely.

There was a Peggy POV scene that followed this one that was cut from the final version of the chapter, of Peggy crying in the ladies room and then talking with Rose. It's a scene that has a lot of stuff I really like in it -- particularly how much Peggy just Does Not Get why Steve insisted on staying Captain America -- but it completely slowed the chapter to a crawl and it doesn't work with the angrier final version. One reason I've cut every scene that has bittersweet acceptance from Peggy (there are others!) is that they just don't work, and they don't really ring true. I also think the anger's more interesting -- I don't think any hardcore Peggy fans are actually reading this story, which is probably for the best, but going by AC I don't think Peggy would just accept it. And it adds interesting tension between Peggy and everyone else, even if it's exhausting for everyone involved, including me.

[house-of-galathynius]

Take Me Away

A little smutty one-shot for everyone, inspired by the fan who kissed Matty from the 1975! @rowanaelinn I hope this is good enough... 😈

Warnings: NSFW

Word Count: 3.2k 

~

Rowan was tired. That’s what he felt as he switched his white t-shirt to a black button down shirt— purposely leaving the top few undone to expose his chest. He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair to try and make it look purposely ruffled— noticing the bags under his eyes and the thinness of his cheeks.

It was the last gig of his bands tour. They’d played every city in the country— some more than once— and he was exhausted. He hated the the crazy fans who followed him to his tour bus, the ones who would wait outside hotels or restaurants. He was never interested in them and just wanted to be left alone. But there was a certain lifestyle that came with this profession, and for the sake of his band and maybe himself, he made an effort to play along.

Lorcan poked his head around his dressing room door, his own hair let loose down his back and his printed tee tight across his torso. “Two minutes, Rowan.”

Lorcan had been with Rowan since the band had started three years ago. He’d stayed even though he hated the fame and wanted to just be invisible— living his life with Elide in the countryside, raising kids and animals and just being. But Rowan had needed his friend; if not for moral support, for the fact that Lorcan was the best fucking drummer on the entire continent.

Rowan gave up on trying to sort out his mess of a head and followed his friend out to the long hallway that eventually led to the side of the stage. He attempted a smile as he let an assistant set his microphone and earplugs up— ignoring her suggestive smile and lingering touches.

Their other bandmate, Fenrys grimaced. “Rowan, man. It’s the last fucking show of the tour, at least try to look happy about it.”

Lorcan laughed. “Fen, he’s been moping since Lyria dumped him six months ago. He won’t be happy until he’s had a beer and a good fuck.”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “I’ll take the beer. But there’s no woman that has even vaguely interested me.” He readjusted his earplugs, “they’re all groupies who just want to say they’ve fucked a celebrity.”

Fenrys’ eyes widened. “And the problem is? What guy would complain about having hundreds of girls willing to jump into bed with them? You’re fucking insane, Whitethorn.”

“You’ve seen the type that hang around us. They’re not exactly…” he trailed off, not sure how to describe the girls. Of course, he knew that his friends were right. He needed to just get it out of his system and take a girl home.

Lorcan handed him a glass— a mysterious clear liquid in it. His friend noticed his hesitation and sighed, “it’s vodka. Drink it all and have a good fucking time.”

~

The crowd went wild as they stepped out onto the stage. Their screams filling his ears and it took everything in him not to wince at the noise. Instead he smiled wide and waved to them. He found the microphone in the centre of the stage and pulled it from the stand, bringing it to his lips and shouting to the crowds, hyping them up as they began to play their first song.

Rowan always lost himself in the music and the performing. It’s what kept him going, the passion he had for it was what prevented him from quitting. And maybe sometimes he did like the cheers of the crowd, the way they’d sing along to each song and scream when he’d speak. It was satisfying in a strange way.

The lights that shone into the crowd were bright but Rowan still tried to pick out people from the crowd— making jokes with them and chatting like they were friends in between songs. It had been a normal thing for him to do throughout the tour and there were occasions he enjoyed the conversations he’d have.

During his next song he searched the crowd for people, never quite sure what exactly he was looking for. Perhaps someone who was a bit too drunk who would make the crowd laugh, or a couple who were celebrating an anniversary— or maybe just a woman who would catch his attention and make him feel something again.

The song finished and he hyped the crowd up, talking and laughing with them easily. He was turning back to the stage when he paused… his eyes focusing onto a flash of golden hair. His gaze followed it and his chest tightened as he saw the most beautiful woman pushing her way to the front. She was smiling wide towards the stage, her phone waving in her hand— text that was too small for him to read on the screen.

Rowan couldn’t take his eyes off of her, even as he transitioned into the next song and she began her dance again, her hair wild around her, sweat beading down her chest. She was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. She waved the phone at him again, moving perfectly in time with the beat, her hips swaying and head bobbing to the song. He was high on performing, the shots he had done before coming on starting to hit him; which was why he didn’t think about it when he jumped down from the stage; wincing as he landed a little too hard, but striding to the fence separating the crowd and gesturing to her.

He battled with the other fans going crazy at his proximity, only focusing on the stunning, wild-haired woman who had captured him. He waved her forward, the crowd slightly parting, but not enough. He pointed to her phone and she grinned, holding it up higher. He squinted to read the words and then he laughed.

Should we make out?

His stomach tightened. She was beautiful, and it had been so long since he’d been this captivated by a woman.

Lorcan and Fenrys were keeping the crowd busy as he gestured for her to come forward with a wink and a smirk. Except he didn’t wait to see if she did what he said, climbing back up onto the stage and continuing his set. He glanced down once and he felt his heart speed up as the golden haired angel was being lifted over the fence. Rowan was grinning as he extended his hand to her and then pulling her up onto stage alongside him.

He had no fucking clue what he was doing. He’d seen her in the crowd and thought she was stunning. And now he had her on stage and she was still swaying to the music, singing along. Unfazed at the change of scenery.

He felt a pull towards her, like the universe needed him to be closer. He followed her step for step. Closing the gap between them, then his arm finding it’s way around her waist and the hand with the mic in it, lifting to her mouth. She sang with such confidence and carelessness that Rowan found himself utterly mesmerised. She was laughing and he found himself smiling with her.

Fenrys started his guitar solo and Rowan took the moment to lean in closer, his mouth going to her ear, “want to make out?” He chuckled.

She pulled back a centimetre, mischief in her eyes and she nodded once. Rowan had never done anything like this in his life, he’d never brought a girl on stage— he’d spent his entire career trying not to bring attention to his love life (or lack thereof). But this girl… she was intoxicating.

The crowd were screaming and cheering and he took his hand to cradle one side of her face and then with absolutely no hesitation, he leant in and pressed his lips against hers.

They were soft and warm and tasted like cherries. She was delicious and magnetic and he couldn’t pull away. All Rowan could do was bring her in closer, his hand tightening on her face, his mouth slanting against hers to deepen the kiss. She was more than receptive and opened her mouth to let him in and their tongues brushed and he almost groaned at the feel of it all.

And then she was pulling away, stumbling back a few steps. Her hand went to her mouth and she was laughing again, eyes alight with amusement. Rowan blinked and then he was smiling too and following her, gripping her hands and pulling her into him. The screaming fans and world around him faded away and it was just him and the golden haired goddess.

“Go off to the side. Wait for me.” Rowan growled into her ear. His veins were thrumming with excitement. He gripped her bare arms and finally surveyed her properly. The slinky black dress that she wore, the way it dipped precariously low, the swell of her breasts peaking out.  

Holy rutting Gods.

He could feel himself getting hard imagining what was underneath it. He imagined having her up against a wall or spread out on the sofa in his dressing room. He thought about the way he would feel beneath her and the sounds she would make as he took her to heaven.

The girl looked at him with a glint in her eyes. She didn’t say a word to him as a security guy came to help her off the stage. Rowan gave him a look that said don’t let her go anywhere.

Rowan was in a daze as he finished the set and thanked the crowd for coming. He didn’t remember hugging his bandmates and bowing at the end, laughing.

All he remembered was seeing the fiery woman leaning against a wall. She held a beer in one hand and her phone in the other. She was staring at him as he moved towards her. There were no words exchanged as Rowan walked straight past her, knowing that she was following him wherever he went.

His room was empty when he roughly opened the door. The girl had followed him just like he’d thought and she quietly closed it behind her. She took a long swig of her beer and then tossed the bottle in the trash beside her, looking around the room curiously.

“So this is the famous Rowan Whitethorn’s dressing room.” She mused.

“What’s your name?” He said, ignoring her comment.

She grinned. “Aelin.”

Aelin. It suited her.

The two of them watched the other. There was plenty of space between them but all Rowan could feel was the pull of her. Like they were magnets. It was only a matter of time before they would come together.

“What did you bring me back here for, Rowan?”

He rose a brow.

“I’m not just some groupie who will spread her legs for any celebrity, you know. No matter how hot they are.”

Rowan stepped closer. “And yet you held your phone up asking if we could make out.”

Aelin stood her ground, even as he moved another step towards her.

“Why did you agree to come back here then?”

She cocked her head. “Maybe I just wanted to talk.”

He could see the rise and fall of her chest quicken. Her breasts were tempting him. He could rip her dress down and take them in his mouth. He could close the distance between them and snake his hand beneath her legs and feel how wet she was for him. He could play with her until she was writhing and coming and begging him to fuck her.

“I don’t think that’s why you came at all.” His voice had turned gravelly— partly from the singing— but mostly from the utter desire he had for her. All he could think about was her naked and ready. He wanted to fuck her hard and fast. He wanted to hear the sounds she would make as he slipped into her.

Aelin tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. The act was so timid and innocent that it made his cock twitch.

“Why did I come?”

Wasn’t that a loaded question.

Rowan couldn’t wait any longer. He closed the gap between them, backing Aelin up against the wall leaving her with nowhere to go. She was so much smaller than he was, his body towering over her. But he liked the control, he liked having the upper hand.

Aelin did not say anything as Rowan bent his head down, his mouth brushed her neck and she shivered. “I think you know exactly why you came here.”

Her head tilted to the side allowing him more access. He didn’t hesitate to take the offer. He peppered kisses over the soft skin, nipping her ear and then leaving a mark on her neck where he had sucked, almost groaning at the taste of her.

“I didn’t want to assume, you know.”

Rowan laughed darkly. She was a little liar. But he didn’t care. He kissed her cheek and then the corner of her mouth before finally sealing her lips with his. He wasn’t careful or gentle. His lips attacked her own and they were like animals as Rowan’s hand slid down her waist and to her bare thigh, lifting it to come around his own waist. His other hand tangled itself in her hair and he pressed himself against her. They kissed like their lives depended on it and she was moaning under him.

He dropped her leg and he used his free hand to slip it under the flimsy fabric of her dress. A jolt of delight went through him when he brushed her centre and realised she hadn’t put on any underwear. He broke away from kissing her and she was already staring at him with mischief in her eyes— like she had planned this whole thing.

“You naughty girl.” He laughed.

She shrugged, like this was a normal thing. Like she always seduced men like this. “Are we going to fuck or not?”

Rowan didn’t know what to do with her. She was unlike any woman he had ever encountered and every word out of her mouth was a pleasant surprise. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“I didn’t take off my panties and kiss you on stage just to come in here and talk.”

There was a second where the air in the room seemed to pause, time seemed to stop. And then everything was moving at double speed.

Aelin was ripping open the few buttons he did have done up, tearing off his shirt and throwing on the floor. Rowan was bunching up her dress, his hands were squeezing her ass and then sliding to her front. His finger dragged up her centre and she was so wet. His finger was dripping as he brought it between them and put it to his mouth, sucking off her juices before returning it between them and containing his assault.

Aelin was fumbling with his belt and then the button of his jeans before she was pulling down his trousers and underwear at once, letting his cock spring free. He was hard as rock and he didn’t stop her as she got down on her knees before him, her hand coming around his base, the other pulling her hair back. Then her mouth was coming over him, licking his tip and then with one swift movement taking him into her entirely. She was warm and wet and her tongue was torturing him as she sucked him, her head bobbing up and down as she pleasured him. He groaned when he hit the back of her throat and couldn’t stop himself as he put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her forward, directing her as she devoured him.

Rowan was too close. He pulled Aelin away and with little care for gentleness, yanked her up so that he could kiss her hard and lead her to the sofa. He kicked off his trousers and shoes and helped Aelin lift her own dress off of her. Her breasts were perfect, her nipples stiff peaks as he pinched them between his fingers then sucked them hard, letting them go with little pops. Aelin allowed him to pull her down with him; Rowan sitting on the sofa and then Aelin coming to perch atop him. She ground against his length and they both sighed in pleasure. Her pussy was soaking and she slid across him easily.

“Condom?” She asked breathlessly.

Rowan just nodded and thanked the gods that Fenrys had thrown some in his dressing room earlier that day. He leant to the side and fumbled in the bag next to him until his hands came across the foil packet. It didn’t take him any time at all to rip it open with his teeth, Aelin moving to the side so he could slide it down.

“I want you on top.” He growled out.

Aelin didn’t argue as she came back over him. Her naked body positioned itself over him and with absolutely no resistance, slipped down onto his rock hard length.

Rowan was dying. Or maybe he wasn’t. All he could feel was her tight around him. His cock filling her all the way and the way her hands gripped his shoulders tightly as she rose above him and then slowly sank back down. She felt divine. Her head fell forwards and he found her mouth, kissing her with a ferocity that surprised even himself. Aelin kept moving on him, her hips rolling so that she rubbed against him too. Rowan started to meet her half way, his own hips jerking upwards as she came down, the resulting slap of skin music to his ears.

They found their rhythm easily and he was moaning out her name and she was crying out at every thrust.

This must be what heaven feels like, he thought.

“Fuck me harder.” She ground out.

Rowan didn’t need to be told.

He gripped her waist and flipped them over so that she was lying on her back now. Her hair splayed around her, her cheeks flushed and eyes closed as Rowan thrust into her once again. He was a savage as he pounded into her, his hand going to her neck. Seeing her bare before him, his hand on her throat and the feel of her clenching around him was enough to send him over the edge.

His last thrusts were hard and fast as he started to come undone inside her.

And just as they were reaching their climax, their moans syncing together. The door to the room flung open.

“Get the fuck out.” Rowan didn’t even look, still buried deep inside Aelin as he growled out the words. The door promptly shut and he could hear the surprised laughter through it.

Aelin was laughing underneath him too, she was flushed from her orgasm and her neck red from where he had held. But she was beautiful and Rowan was already hardening inside her. There was absolutely no way he was ever going to let her go— at least not tonight.

So he gathered her in his arms, setting her on her feet and then handing her the discarded dress, Rowan pulling on his own clothes too. Before gripping her hand and pulling her to the door.

“Where are we going?” She asked, breathless.

“A place where I can fuck you all night with no interruptions.” He glanced behind to Aelin, “unless you’d rather go home and pleasure yourself?”

She chuckled. “Take me away, Rowan Whitethorn.”

~

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[painted-bees]

Is there any more you can share about Magritte's foray into musical studies? Maybe things she attempted but gave up on/moved away from? Even just her general aspirations and thought processes for her musical career during and after school? (Totally not looking for pieces to fit together) and the same for Raf- he was privately taught, but even those kids have a group /sometimes/, with a big-headed egotistical teacher who just happens to already have musical awards those parents want for their own musically inclined kids. The rivalry between kids like that is so so specific...

When she was like...8-13 years old, she had these grand daydreams of playing piano for an orchestra concert hall n stuff, all fancy. That died as soon as she had the capacity to research into the kind of time, money and resources required to even have a chance in the classical music scene. Simply not a possibility for her. And so, she focused on how to make do with what she did have, and got big into like...circuit bending her old toys and such. Even her little yamaha keyboard wasn't spared from her circuit bending adventures, and the little silver switched that line the side of it are all her handiwork haha.

Most of what Magritte learned was on the internet via livejournal and myspace communities, and she has probably a ton of online friends and acquaintances from there. I think that's probably how she met her first real girlfriend, a chick from Montreal who was a jazz pianist. It probably started as an online relationship and Montreal was the first place she went after she moved out of home. And then she met her gf's other band mates, and they were all just kind of...a poly pile for a solid year and a bit. And that's when Magritte learned the most, honestly. The jazz musicians were all attending music school there, and Margie got to absorb a lot of the knowledge second-hand.

Raf's upbringing was...pretty isolated He got to meet and know folks that his mother permitted. And so, yes, he had a peer group, but they intended as competition to stay ahead of just as much (if not more than) they were intended to be friends. It was this handful of peers that conspired to go to Juilliard. The lot of 'em just wanted to get off the continent and put an ocean between them and their caretakers--so that they could enjoy four years of full independence. Initially, they didn't care which school they applied to, as long as the all applied together. But Raf could not be included unless the school was either Curtis or Julliard, and so they attempted those, for Raf's sake. In the end, only Raf and one other lad got into Juilliard. Curtis accepted none of them lmao. Having another peer get accepted, though, provided the last little push his mom needed to let him study abroad. I like to think that there was an awkward, scampy lil' romance, there, that quickly crumbled apart at the tail end of the first year, when Rafs paranoia started taking up a lot more space in his head, and the stress of school just made him Generally Unpleasant.

[mysmashplaythroughs]

Fire Emblem Binding Blade Playthrough

Fighter: Roy.

Game: Fire Emblem The Binding Blade, Game Boy Advance. First Released on March 29th 2002.

ENTRY WARNING: This post will contain spoilers for Fire Emblem 6, I do my best to avoid spoiling plot elements of Fire Emblem 7 but it is possible to infer things from the details I give since that game is a prequel to 6. I will also use read-more as most of the screenshots for this game are from the late-game so more spoilery than the usual pictures I use.

Fighter Bio.

In the continent of Elibe, Roy was born to the Marquess of Pherae, Eliwood in the Lycian League. Roy knew little of his Mother who died shortly after his birth, he was brought up alongside Wolt who is considered his ‘milk-brother’. At the age of Ten he travelled with his Father to meet Eliwood’s best friend Hector the marquess of Ostia, the most powerful state of the Lycian League where Roy met and became close friends with Hector’s daughter Lilina. Five years later Roy was studying in Ostia when he was summoned home following news that Eliwood had fallen ill. Lilina was visiting Pherea at the time but soon found she had to barricade herself and Eliwood in the castle following a siege by a large bandit mob. Roy returned home and with his small band of knights that had accompanied him fought off the bandits. Meeting with his Father he was asked to lead the forces of Pherea to join the armies of the rest of the Lycian League as Eliwood was too sick to fight and another country, Bern was preparing for war. Eliwood also asked Lilina to return to Ostia so she could take command there whilst her father Hector was rallying the Lycian League’s forces. On his journey to Araphen where the leaders of each part of the Lycian League planned to band together their armies, Roy is asked by a priest called Elen to save her Mistress who is being held hostage by some Bern forces. After saving the noblewoman she reveals herself to be Guinivere the Princess of Bern and younger sister of its King Zephiel. Guinivere sought to negotiate peace with the Lycian League to avoid a bloody war from breaking out and asked Roy to help her meet with the leaders in Araphen which he agreed to.

Roy arrived at Araphen however to find the armies of Lycia had been decimated and most of the leaders killed by an army of dragon riders. Hector met Roy and in his last moments warned him that Bern was in control of powerful dragons as well as entrusting him with the leadership of the remaining Lycian forces in his stead. Roy travelled next to Ostia which had been taken over by traitors who sought an alliance with Bern and had taken over Castle Ostia with Lilina held hostage. Roy lead the first ever successful siege of the castle in Ostia’s history and saved the forces trapped within as well as Lilina. Lilina in return joined with Roy and revealed to him Durandal, a sword once wielded by Eliwood and one of the eight Legendary weapons said to have defeated the Dragons during the war between humans and dragons known as the Scouring over a thousand years earlier. Following this battle Roy faces many more hardships and gradually gains more allies in his fight against Bern and its allies, discovering the other Legendary weapons as he goes as well as the Binding Blade, a sword said to be stronger than any of the Legendary weapons possessing mysterious powers based upon the wielder such as reacting to their desires, healing them and having fire elemental properties. Roy is the only one who has been deemed worthy to wield the blade since it was used in the Scouring a thousand years earlier. Roy also finds himself in command of the army of Etruria, a country that had almost fallen to a traitorous rebellion of those who sought to ally themselves with Bern until Roy’s forces managed to take them down.

Roy learnt from Guinivere how Zephiel’s childhood where his Father had attempted to murder him had led to him losing all faith in humanity and seeking to awaken the Dark Dragon sealed away in the Scouring as well as plunging the continent into a war that would allow Dragonkind to return and wipe humanity away to become the dominant species. With this new knowledge Roy invaded Bern Palace and attempted to reason with Zephiel but could not convince him to change course, leading to Roy having to defeat the King once and for all. Following his defeat, Zephiel’s greatsword Eckesachs reacted to the other Legendary weapons Roy had gathered and revealed to him the way to the Dragon Sanctuary, which contained the final remains of Bern’s army as well as the Dark Dragon Idunn. During his earlier travels Roy had found and helped protect a hidden village in the desert of Nabata called Arcadia. This hidden village was home to the few surviving descendants of the dragons that did not take part in the Scouring war and lived peacefully with humans. Fae, the only pure dragon remaining in Arcadia is a young manakete who eventually joins Eliwoods forces. She along with the rest of Roy’s forces meets Jahn, the only remaining natural dragon in Elibe at Dragon Sanctuary. Jahn informs the group of how the Dark Dragon Idunn was originally a Divine Dragon similar to Fae who was captured by the Dragons warring with humans during the Scouring. They were finding it hard to replenish their forces due to low birth rates in their species and came up with a plan, they turned Idunn into a Demon Dragon in order for her to produce War Dragons, Dragons created only for War that know nothing other than bloodshed. Even after this Idunn refused to do so and ultimately it took her heart being completely destroyed turning her into a mindless husk for the Dragons to finally begin their plan. It was too late by then however and when Hartmut the Champion who wielded the Binding Blade during the Scouring confronted Idunn and learnt of her history he took pity on her, through this the Binding Blade instead of killing her in their confrontation merely put her to sleep and sealed her away for a thousand years, until she was unsealed by King Zephiel.

Having heard all of this, Fae feared she could end up sharing the same fate as Idunn and become a monster too. Roy reassures Fae that he believes both she and Idunn can avoid that fate and realises he cannot kill Idunn but instead wishes to save her soul. With his will and the power of the Binding Blade he fights through Jahn’s War Dragons as well as Jahn himself before facing Idunn. Defeating her Roy manages to restore her soul with the power of the Binding Blade and helps her along with Fae to disappear to Arcadia where she can begin a new life with Fae’s help and friendship. Eventually Fae makes her laugh for the first time in thousands of years suggesting she is finally beginning to regain her true self. Following the war, Roy first attends the crowning of Guinivere as the new Queen of Bern before he returns home and eventually becomes the new Marquess of Pherae. Lilina also returns to Ostia and manages to unite all of Lycia becoming its Queen. Roy marries Lilina becoming the King Consort with the continent finding peace.

Despite his young age of 15 Roy is a capable leader who manages to build a large loyal army during his journey. His youth does make him often doubt himself and whether he should be in the position he is but his sense of duty and commitment to his allies and loved ones results in him not backing down. It is also this occasional lack of confidence that gives him the compassion and ability to hear his enemies out that helps him save possible allies as well as some of his enemies. He can be fairly cunning, managing to see through a couple of characters who are allies or enemies in their attempts to trick him. Roy is very loyal to his friends not caring about their social standing, he also is not particularly good at dealing with romantic feelings others have for him, for example not picking up on Lilina’s obvious fondness for him until after his journey has ended. Roy begins as a lord with the ability to use Rapiers exclusive to him, this means he has an advantage against cavalry and armoured units. In the early game this is fairly effective however later in the game many cavalry and armoured enemies have lances which are strong against swords in the weapons triangle which results in Roy having a disadvantage with him being unable to use any other weapon but swords. Roy also struggles as he is unable to promote until very late in the game, due to this he falls behind other units in his army being essentially a weaker Hero unit with low movement and only able to use swords, as well as maxing his stats fairly early since he cannot promote until a set point in the game, meaning he will not gain anything from defeating enemies and is really just stealing exp other units could use. Being a lord Roy is also required to seize thrones on the maps to achieve victory, which means he must go with the rest of the group across the map and therefore be escorted by stronger units. Following him gaining the Binding Blade Roy is able to promote into a Great Lord and becomes a lot stronger. The Binding Blade allows Roy to attack with fire and from two spaces away as well as being strong against dragons. Roy still in his promoted form isn’t as strong as other units who are able to wield the other Legendary weapons and therefore also are good against Dragons, but he is definitely more capable than he was earlier in the game. Roy also benefits from having high supports with other characters that give him some stat boosts that help make him stronger.

Friends: Roy has a loyal following who join his army during his fight against Bern, Wolt and Lilina are close friends from his childhood and he also is close with Cecilia who was his teacher in the past as well as Marcus who is an old knight in service of Pherae and Merlinus, a vassal of Eliwoods who serves as an advisor to Roy. Roy relies on both Merlinus and Marcus’s experience when approaching the situations he faces and trusts them both in their judgement. Roy takes care of Fae as he realises not letting her join his army will likely result in her being captured or worse by enemies and therefore he allows her to help fight, Roy also reassures Fae when she voices her fears of one day becoming an enemy of humanity. Roy helps Princess Guinivere and shares her belief in peace which makes him loyal to her and trust her despite being the Princess of Bern, the enemy nation he is fighting against. Also since I feel it is an important addition that Shadow Dragon did not have in the series and relates to relationships, I’d like to add this game is the first on my list that has the support system. With this system certain characters who spend a lot of time close to each other on the battlefield build up affinity and when able to can have support conversations where they build their bonds with each other. Roy is able to support with the joint most characters in the game alongside Lilina. There are various female characters who depending on how high a level of support Roy builds with him can marry him in the ending of the game with them being Lilina, Cecilia, Sue, Sophia, Shanna and Larum or alternately he can end the game not marrying any of them. It is generally accepted Lilina is the closest to a canon partner for Roy which is why in his bio I put the ending involving him marrying her.

Enemies/Rivals: Roy is willing to have compassion and try to understand his enemies, but he is also strong in his ideals and willing to fight against those who can be stopped no other way as well as those who hurt innocent people. When it comes to enemies Roy has there are not many who have directly wronged him, his Father is sick but alive and his Mother died of natural causes when he was young, some bandits attempt to attack Pherae early on but are stopped before they harm Eliwood or Lilina. Roy deals with many traitors to Lycia with one of the most notable being Leygance who takes control of Ostia castle and attempts to kill Lilina, however the main instigator of the war and therefore Roy’s main enemy is the country of Bern. The majority of Bern’s highest generals such as Murdock, Brunnya and Galle are all more loyal to their King and country rather than sadistic or evil, Roy still battles them however as he understands the alternative would lead to the destruction of Lycia and as he eventually learns all of humanity. Narcian is probably the worst of the high level generals of Bern but Roy although he definitely has to deal with Narcian’s traps and attacks doesn’t interact with him much. Zephiel is the closest Roy has to an arch-enemy in his quest, Roy learns of Zephiel’s past and attempts to reason with him, however when Zephiel will not accept this claiming all of humanity to be evil, Roy strongly rebukes him with his belief that ultimately mankind is good and calls Zephiel out on losing his faith in not just humanity but by extension himself, fighting and eventually killing the King. Roy’s final enemies are the dragons in the Dragon Sanctuary, the War Dragons are just mindless beasts created for war that Roy takes down, he tries to talk sense to Jahn the Fire Dragon telling him of Arcadia where dragons and humans live in peace. Jahn is surprised by this but ultimately rejects the idea that Dragons and Humans can ever live in peace which results in Roy having to slay him before taking on Idunn. Idunn despite being the ultimate Dark Dragon Roy realises is not his enemy, finding out she was once a Divine Dragon who was twisted until she was left heartless as simply a weapon for other dragons. Roy uses his compassion with the power of the Binding Blade to save Idunn rather than killing her and brings an end to the war.

Crossovers with other Smash characters: Elibe was the first location in the Fire Emblem series to be set on an entirely new unconnected world to the previous Fire Emblem games, due to this despite later crossovers Roy’s story did not intersect or connect with the other characters from the series who appear in Smash Bros. Roy has appeared in spinoff crossovers however appearing as an Einherjar in the land of Ylisse which are cards that form into spirits, these are not the actual characters however so this does not mean Roy himself experienced these events, however the real Chrom, Lucina and Robin met with and fought alongside the Einherjar version of Roy. This also meant that Roy appeared alongside the other Einherjar such as Marth and Ike who similarly weren’t the actual characters. Roy also appeared alongside Marth, Lucina, Robin and Ike as illusions in Fire Emblem Echoes Shadows of Valentia where they would fight alongside Alm and Celica the Lords of that game. Roy also appeared alongside Marth, Ike, Lucina, Robin, Chrom, Corrin and Byleth as an Emblem, spirits contained within special rings that lend their power to those who wear them. These Emblems are explicitly not the original characters but essentially echoes of them with their personalities and memories, this does bring together every Fire Emblem character who has appeared as a fighter in Smash Bros however. Finally there’s Fire Emblem Heroes which has versions of the vast majority of Fire Emblem characters from throughout the series including every Lord from the series. These all are recreations once again rather than the actual canon characters being similar to Einherjars and summoned by the Summoner and other characters.

Why this game?

It’s once again a very simple case of this is the only game with Roy in it. Given how this game is not freely available in English however I would definitely have gone for a remake version if it was available and if one does come out one day I will return to it to do another playthrough and possibly write a second post up based on that specifically.

My past with this game.

I went over the story in my entry for Marth but as I said there, Fire Emblem was a series that was first introduced to me through Super Smash Bros. When the first Fire Emblem game left Japan as I said before I believed that Eliwood was Roy with simply a different name and I did not play far enough into the game at the time to see Roy’s actual appearance towards the end of that game. Due to this for a long time I didn’t realise that Roy’s game was actually one that hadn’t left Japan until years later, however when I learnt this I became really interested in the game because I really liked the characters in Eliwood’s game (released here as simply Fire Emblem but in regards to the series referred to as ‘The Blazing Blade’ often) and learning that that game was actually a prequel to Roy’s game made me really interested in seeing what this future version of Elibe would be like. I believe around the time I learnt about this the concept of prequels was something new to me which I had mostly heard of due to the Star Wars prequels, so I was interested in seeing what happened to Hector, Lyn and Eliwood in Binding Blade. I did remember reading Roy's trophy entry in Melee however unlike Marths it didn't stand out particularly to me.

I would spoil myself later down the line on what did happen and I realised it wasn’t really nice with Lyn not being directly mentioned (and the implication she’d died between games), Hector dying and Eliwood spending the game too ill to fight. I think when I finally got my head around it all however, I found this all really interesting, I had heard that Binding Blade was considered essentially a copy of Marth’s games to the point I’d seen lots of pictures floating around online which point out all the similar characters like how Wolt the archer is essentially Gordin from Shadow Dragon, Marcus is the Jagen and many other similarities. I also remembered hearing a lot about how Roy was possibly the weakest Lord in the series. I did find it cool however in that they took what was in the original game some fairly minor characters with Hector and Eliwood, whose role in the game was just as the sick Father (which was honestly a rarity in a series where Father figures rarely live beyond the prologue) and made them into the main heroes of the next game, not to mention with this being the first game to come outside of Japan they became fairly fondly remembered by fans in the West (Eliwood probably the least out of the three but he’s my personal favourite Lord in the series). I waited a long time similarly to other games such as Mother 3 for an official release, but sadly to this day we still haven’t seen one, with the closest being that on the Switch online if you download the Japanese GBA Online you can play the game in Japanese.

Of course, due to this eventually I decided to try an alternative just to play the game for myself. Admittedly despite this however I did not get far into the game I think reaching Chapter 4 before I ended up playing other games. I think probably the thing that interested me the most with this game was something a bit ridiculous, but having scoured the Fire Emblem wikis as well as sites like Serenes Forest a lot and looking at all the units, classes and characters, honestly the most interesting thing for me in the game was Zephiel, specifically because his class is a King. Due to the whole basic description for someone really unfamiliar with videogames of saying Strategy RPGs are like Chess, I found it interesting in the whole series there was only ever one character whose class was just King with said class being like the third final promotion of a General. Add to that the unique sprites and animations for the King class which didn’t appear in the other GBA games and how I loved the sprites and animations for the Knight and General classes already before and I wanted to play through the game just to see it for myself (even if I’d seen it long before playing myself through youtube videos and things.) Beyond this, it’s hard to really say much more relating to my past with this game without simply talking about its prequel which I plan on going over in a later post, so that’s all I have to say really on this part.

My Smash Playthrough.

For this playthrough as stated earlier I had to use a translation hack in order to play. I only do this when I have no other choice in order to play the game and luckily in recent years a lot of other games I have been able to play officially which back when I started this were not available. I believe sadly as this game is definitely not one of the most fondly remembered ones in the series it will likely be a while before it gets an official release outside of Japan which is a shame, especially given Roy being part of the reason Fire Emblem was first introduced to the West. (It’s been said a few times before on various sites as trivia but Roy technically first appeared in Super Smash Bros Melee before his game released so in a sense that was his ‘original game’.) The version I played was using a pretty old translation by Dark Twilkitri in 2005 going by the notes I have. Given just how long ago now I found this game and how little I tend to take part in the scene I want to make it clear I would have no idea where to look if you wish to play the game yourself, you’ll have to look for yourselves into the matter if you wish to play it, the Fire Emblem Wiki does seem to have a fair bit of information from what I’ve seen so I’d suggest checking there first.

Now, onto the actual playthrough, I’m lucky sometimes that I’ve talked to friends over Discord often about my progress in the various games I played for my list so I’m able to check some of the stuff I said at the time to remind myself. Given this playthrough was in 2017 (which feels like a whole other age at this point) I was glad to be able to remind myself of some things I said back then, starting with how because there was an optional tutorial you could play through, the game just drops you in with little explanation of things. The tutorial is interesting in itself as it involves Roy battling against some friendly soldiers including Bors who is part of your group in the main game whilst being taught the basics by Cecilia. Honestly I wish this sort of thing was done more often with games, I do understand with the sequel as it was the first game released outside of Japan them having the tutorial be part of the story, but I think having tutorials be essentially an optional view into the characters during peaceful times can be a nice little thing to help build up the characters slightly, and helps it being optional in making future playthroughs feel less of a drag at the start. I also commented when playing through about how little damage your units seem to be able to do to the bosses of the first few chapters with me having to hope I’d get a hit with a 20% accuracy hammer just to take the boss down to lower health and gang up with my whole group on them. Again a lot of this is going off of my memory of something around 7 years ago so I can’t remember specifics, but I believe the hit rates in this game are considered somewhat infamously low.

I also realise looking back I went straight from playing Shadow Dragon to this game, that might be why I found it quite a jump in how that game took a lot of the more modern additions to the series compared to Binding Blade which at the time was a lot more simplified in its features compared to FE1-5 being a soft reboot of the series as well as the first handheld game. Similarly to my playthrough of Shadow Dragon and something I have carried on in future Fire Emblem games, when deciding on who to use for my team, I decided to base the team off of the Spotpass characters who appear in Fire Emblem Awakening to represent the game, trying to keep their equipment close to what they had there. For this playthrough I focused on Roy, Lilina, Wolt, Shanna the Pegasus Knight, Lugh the Mage, Raigh the Dark Mage, Celicia a Valkyrie, Sophia a Sorceror and Perceval a Paladin. Of them all Sophia was easily the most difficult character to train up and use on my team, she joins in what I remember being one of the most irritating chapters in the game with really low stats, the chapter requires being completed in a set number of turns with her still alive in order to progress to the gaiden chapter (side chapters which often have the Legendary weapons in them required to get the best ending) and I read this was the best place to level her up which required her getting the final hit on most enemies encountered. Add to that this map being a desert (Which hugely limits most units movement) fog of war which makes it impossible to see much of the map and where enemies are as well as many enemy wyvern riders who can move much faster and further than you and it was an absolute nightmare that I somehow managed to overcome.

My favourite chapter as you can likely guess based on what I said earlier about my interest in the game mostly revolving around Zephiel was the chapter where you storm Bern Castle taking on Zephiel’s forces before battling the King himself. There were some irritating parts such as various mages who will cast beserk on your army causing them to start attacking your other units, however with the right equipment you can overcome this. This chapter also involves Roy having the Binding Blade (called in the translation I used the Sealed Sword) which is his ultimate weapon, so it’s fun finally getting to have Roy use this sword on all the enemy troops and eventually use it in his final battle against Zephiel’s Eckesachs sword. The chapters following this that can only be played if you got all the Legendary weapons are still fun but this chapter was probably the highlight for me personally. Idunn (called Idoun in the translation I used) is often cited as one of the easiest (if not the easiest) final bosses in the series, I can’t honestly remember the battle with her, but given how difficult I’ve remembered others being that might be telling of how easy it was, I did still enjoy it from what I remember though. Honestly as a final boss I’ve grown to quite like Idunn as a concept being essentially a corrupted Divine Dragon in contrast to the other (at this point in the series) final boss Dragons being often Dark Dragons that went against the Light Dragon. Zephiel similar to Garnef in a way was definitely the main driving force of the story overall with Idunn being more a victim than anything which is why I like the final battle involves Roy not trying to kill her but save her from what was done to her.

One final notable thing in the game is there’s a point where you have two different paths you can take, one will result in you fighting in the icy land of Ilia, home to many of the Pegasus Knights in the Elibe games and the other will take place in Sacae, grasslands home to many tribes and in the prequel Lyn. I decided to go with the Ilia route, I’m not really sure why now but I know because I have the exclusive character from that path on my team, I don’t remember there being any real reason for my playthrough however that I picked that route over the Sacae one as I don’t think there’s any additional item or weapon I needed there. The music for the game is pretty nice, probably my favourite tracks are Beyond Distant Skies, Battle for whose sake, Shaman in the Dark and Far from Arcadia, there’s some pretty nice fan remixes as well as official remixes of some of these tracks in later games that are worth listening to. Probably my absolute favourite thing in these games are the battle sprites. It feels a bit hard to talk about them regarding this game specifically as by the time I played it I had already seen them in Blazing Blade and Sacred Stones which was the final GBA Fire Emblem and had even more new sprites leaving this game feeling lacking, however I still have to give credit to Binding Blade as it was the first game to introduce these sprites with all the awesome animations I love. I said before Zephiel’s sprites are unique to this game however and are a highlight along with Roy’s animations which definitely are best when he’s finally wielding the Binding Blade with the fire effects. Honestly probably the only regret I have when it comes to this game getting a remake is it’ll likely be in 3D and therefore lacking this great sprite-work.

Specific aspects about the game relating to Roy in Smash.

Similar to Marth, this was probably the easiest aspect of the game for me because it’s not possible to finish the game without Roy having the Binding Blade and it’s foolish to use anything else with him once he has it (I believe, there may be some well known tactic I’m unaware of like a Light Brand being somehow superior to it, still for me a casual player the Binding Blade was great to have Roy use). It’s irritating that the sword has a limited number of uses, but luckily because you get it so late in the game that likely won’t be an issue, still it is best to not waste it on particularly weak enemies. Roy’s class promotes into a Great Lord when he gets the Binding Blade, but the only difference really is the battle sprite he uses and in that case it’s not very easy to see the difference, his armour is mostly a bit better defined from what I can tell, the main difference being he has unique animations when using the Binding Blade which often involves it using fire elements in the attacks Roy uses.

Credits.

For information on this game including dates of releases I must give credit to the Fire Emblem Wiki and Serenes Forest for additional information such as Spotpass Teams in Awakening, for the translation used I would like to thank Dark Twilkitri for their work.

[louisupdates]

“Last show of the year tonight, London!” Louis Tomlinson told a roaring sold-out crowd of 2,000 people at Shepherd’s Bush Empire last night. The show at the iconic venue in the UK’s capital was a special one-night-only gig to celebrate the release of his sophomore album, Faith In The Future. Released last month, it became Tomlinson’s first solo chart-topper in his home country.

After wrapping up his first 81-date world tour across five continents in September, last night’s setting was far more intimate than what the Doncaster-born star has been used to recently. Welcomed by a room full of screams and handmade signs, Tomlinson kicked off his 12-song set with “The Greatest,” a song he previously told EUPHORIA. he always envisioned as a show opener during the creative process of his record. Keeping with the high energy, Tomlinson dived straight into “Kill My Mind” before singing the Arctic Monkeys-infused “Written All Over Your Face,” an obvious career highlight and a smash hit waiting to happen. Out of all the One Direction songs Tomlinson could have sang, it was the heartfelt “Night Changes” he chose to put his own spin on. Vamped up with a full band production, his solo version was another reminder as to why “Night Changes” remains top tier. As the show continued, Tomlinson made sure to slow down the pace with the mellow “That’s the Way Love Goes” before closing with “Saturday.”

Venturing out on your own after being a member of one of the most famous pop groups of all time is not the easiest challenge to overcome. For Tomlinson, it appears his recent journey as a solo artist is on an all-time high and going just the way he hoped. With so much touring experience over the past 10 years, the 30-year-old is going down as a seasoned performer who keeps getting better and better. Never one to shy away from his admiration for his fans, the consistent crowd interaction in between each of the songs proved that performing on stage is where Tomlinson shines the most and what he enjoys doing more than anything else.

With numerous chants for “Angels Fly,” a song from the new record that has yet to be performed, that might be fans’ only critique of the special show. While they wait to witness it live with bated breath, there is always his 2023 arena tour for that song to get the justice it deserves. C’mon Louis!

Full set list:

“The Greatest”

“Kill My Mind”

“Written All Over Your Face”

“We Made It”

“Bigger Than Me”

“Night Changes”

“Copy of a Copy of a Copy”

“Out of My System”

[dustedmagazine]

Spice World — There’s No I In Spice World (Meritorio/Tenth Court)

There's No I In Spice World by Spice World

Spice World comes alive in starts and stops. “What a Pity What a Shame,” the first song on the band’s debut LP, crawls its way forward at a snoring tempo, dozing off to sleep and then snapping back awake like it’s lounging on the living room couch. And in fact it was written on one, late at night in the house that guitarists Jonny Burrows and Lyndon Blue share in Fremantle, Australia, where the album was also recorded. The song could be mistaken for just getting going, or finally petering out, at least a dozen times during its five-plus minutes: its intertwining acoustic guitars starting their short climb and then collapsing into final-sounding strums, the skeletal, ticking drums going momentarily still and then picking up again. “Oh what a pity, what a shame. You barely made it to the starting lane,” Burrows and Blue sing in sighing, off-kilter unison in the chorus, their way of acknowledging, perhaps, the song’s strong aversion to steady motion.

The band, which also consists of Julia Suddenly, Rhian Todhunter and Layla Martin, got off to a similarly fitful start. Originally forming as a quartet in early 2021 (with Martin joining more recently), Spice World played a single but well-received show in Perth before drummer Suddenly had to return to Melbourne, all the way on the other side of the continent. Band activities were mostly put on hold, as a result, until about a year later, when she returned over the Christmas holiday and they decided to document the band’s songs. And so, with limited time before Suddenly was due to leave again — and even less recording experience — Spice World took the live approach to recording their debut album, capturing 10 tracks in just five hours and bottling the ramshackle synergy that had made their first show so special. 

The result of that recording session, There’s No I In Spice World, is the sound of dolewave colliding with the K Records spirit. There’s just something about the enthusiastically scrappy manner in which these songs are delivered, and the homespun warmth of the recording, that brings visions of Beat Happening — and the enduring DIY label’s early years, in general — to mind. The pleasingly clunky drumming, the unselfconsciously off-key vocals, the party-in-the-living-room vibe of the thing — it’s all very 1980s Olympia. But Spice World will no doubt remind you even more of the many disaffected jangle bands pouring out of Australia in the early 2010s, especially Lower Plenty and Bitch Prefect, with their offhanded musings on everyday mundanity and the ways one might escape it. Like on “Dying To Go,” when Burrows, in their endearingly nasal tone, ponders “spicing up” their life by faking their own death so they can leave the drudgery of the daily grind behind (the idea hits them while they're struggling to get moving with their day and jamming to some Spice Girls, hence the band name). “Where'd Jonny go, I haven’t seen them in a while?” they envision everyone wondering when they disappear, their bandmates’ voices all piling on top of one another to help pose the question. It’s the dolewave ethos of “less work and more play” taken to an absurdist extreme. 

As shambly and whimsical as these songs are on the surface, they also hit with surprising poignancy at times. “Mountain Pony 20,” the album’s most downbeat offering as well as its best, epitomizes this. On first impression, the song’s wilting guitar work and simple, shaky beat lend it an underbaked aura. But give it a few replays, and some time to settle between your ears, and you’ll find that it packs the kind of gut punch you’d more expect from someone like Townes Van Zandt. Beginning with a lyric about getting high on the couch, “Mountain Pony 20” slowly reveals itself as a meditation on an incongruous relationship, where the couple in question can’t even agree on the color of the mold on a loaf of bread. In the chorus, Burrows’ narrator is confronted by their partner with the question of whether they believe in love. “Because I’m not wasting all my time with you if you don’t,” they warn him. Burrows’ answer, delivered atop the flagging thump of the bass drum as the song is winding down, doubles as a withering self-realization: “Don’t give (your love) to me cuz I’ll tear it down / If you give it to me, I’m going to tear it down,” they sing, and it feels like the ground being pulled out from underneath you.

 Elsewhere, “Trouble” is as relatable a song as you’re likely to encounter about the modern malaise. It’s a midtempo jangler, like most of There’s No I In Spice World, but distinguishes itself with the addition of Blue’s violin playing, giving it some high-lonesome shading. Over its verses, “Trouble” unfurls its list of the many things that Burrows is having a hard time with these days ranging from the everyday (“staying away from the screen”), to the interpersonal (“trying to love you”), to the existential (“trying to see an end”). It might have been easier, and no less accurate, for them just to say everything, but that would be missing the point: shit’s hard right now, man, and we’re all feeling it. Metaphorically at least, Burrows seems to acknowledge this when they sing about walking by a friend’s house that’s “overgrown” and “falling down.” Spice World, on the other hand, seem to have found strength in the struggle on There’s No I In Spice World and it’s a beautiful thing. What’s harder to gauge, based on the band’s minimal web presence and general modus operandi, is whether this is the end or just the beginning? 

Chris Liberato

[pwblogarchive]

August 2003

August 4, 2003

3:53 pm

“i got a Mil in the bank and i'm still in the grime.”

you wish you knew what was going on. and thats okay cause so do i. i think we may be going to the U.K. soon. drama across two continents. oh yeah. i have finished the new harry potter book. and contrary to everyone who talks shit. it was great and really sad. we should have a bookclub and talk about it.

August 4, 2003

4:16

“I Only Write To Get Inside Your Head”

hey. sorry this one is so late. the last couple days have been pretty crazy. it started out hot and late on saturday. my sister woke me up when were supposed to be leaving. so i pull up late as usual. we make it down in time to eat some icees and check out some bros in white hats. pretty hilarious. there was an RV behind the stage that was airconditioned for the dudes in my band that are so white they are almost see through. i however do alright in the sun so i went out and braved the outside hang out. when we hit the stage the problems started right in the beginning. my bass was tuned like permanently to drop W. the kids rocked though and we got it on anyway. the barrier between us and the crowd was something insane like 6ft. so everyone jumped the barrier during “chicago is so two years ago”- it made that sing along go how it’s supposed to. it was perfect, exactly how i imagined it should go. the Q101 security freaked out and started trying to drag kids out and threaten us. so we asked kids to just go back down and told them we would come to them. the rest went without a hitch and was completely off the chain. ha. i met a ton of news kids and someones super hot mom hit on me. all in all it was a great time. didn’t get to check the spin doctors but i bet they smelled/sounded like a bunch of dirty hippies.

i will write a bit about the other show later.

status report: new songs are coming along great, you will be excited. we may be heading over to the U.K. alot sooner than we expected and we will have some exciting stuff to announce soon about October. what i’ve been rocking too lately: new saves the day, new dashboard confessional, Mos Eisley, 50cent, and Madball.

oh yeah, most importantly i have finished the new Harry Potter book. such a sad ending. come up and we’ll chat about it.

true love never dies. peter wentz

August 5, 2003

11:49 am

“Your Skin Speaks To Me And Admits Where You’ve Been (Even When Your Mouth Does Its Best To Refuse)”

wake up. put the dogs out. commandeer an entire box of count chocula. send away for the free franken berry shirt. write about all the fakes that drop my name and lie to my face and love to talk about me behind my back. email. nap. get ready to go out to eat with my mom. where is my tour tonight?

August 5, 2003

3:33 pm

“i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.”

you used to call me-you used to call me a friend. you hate fakes (you are one). i know you're reading this (i'm sure you tell everyone you don't). you probably don't think it's about you. but it is. i never was anything but nice and sincere with you. i guess you don't get what you give. you only get away with talking about me cause i let you. just so you know i play dumb- but i know how it goes. the joke is on you. you know who you are.

have a great summer.

August 6, 2003

“Keep Quiet, Nothing Comes As Easy As You.”

wrote a new song today. it feels good to be at it again.

i’m leaving on a jet plane.

August 7, 2003

“Everyone Is A Taker Or A Giver But Noone Likes To Think Of Themself As The First.”

hey. we’re back out. we’re in love. i wish i was in love. peterpeterpumpkineater

August 8, 2003

2:39 am

“i've seen wounds that look better than this friendship ever did”

sometimes when i read things it gets my mind going too fast. sometimes it makes my tongue move too quickly and its easier to sit back and soak every word in spite than to try and figure myself out. "you guys have changed" i have heard too much lately. i have spent the last 6 months of my life in a van- i haven't changed. what goes on here has. roll call: if you are really my friend i want to try and make the time to spend with you next time i am home- for the record your friendship (you all know who you are) means more than i could ever express to you.

otherwise run your mouth and don't pretend like thats not all you have. (you wouldn't have drama if you didn't make it, could you live without it). stop lying to yourself. i know what you are, do you?

August 10, 2003

10:05 am

“You’re Sleeping With Your Light On Like You Want To Be Found Out”

got back from three days. it was great being out again. i ripped my pants, boxers and ass on andy’s drumset. it hurts. i am icing it as i surf the net. we are gonna work on some more new songs tommorrow i will let you know how it goes. we leave for the radiotakeover tour on tuesday, so we are just getting geared up for that. we should know within the next two weeks what M2 and Fuse think of our video and shiat. my recommendation for the week is that you go and buy the new giveuptheghost single. i don’t know why i even bother try to write after reading what wes has to say. ill leave you with that:

“our love is all that we’ll ever have

boys and girls, guys and dolls

you were finding faith in bathroom stalls

and broken beds

spring fractured spines

fall for the right kids

at all the wrong times

and in a world of sluts

we keep the wet dream alive

yeah, our drought is drying out

you go nowhere in a nowhere town

and no one’s listening

to the sound of breaking down

and breaking out is just wishful thinking

we’re taking walks around the hearts

and homes we’ll never own

desperate and true, thinking of you

borrowed and blue, sinking with you”

August 10, 2003

11:15 am

why do i do this to myself?

i don't get why you don't see how much of a joke you really are. you project all of your hatred for yourself on other people. you're tongue works fast and hard one of these days your self-esteem will catch up.

i won't waste anymore time on this.

thanks for teaching me how to feel cheap and shitty.

i just figured i would return the favor.

August 13, 2003

1:10 am

“The Smell Of Rain On Hot Cement”

we’re in iowa. tonight was a blast. we rocked our first night with spitalfield, with help from our good friends in the lifestyle.

oh yeah. www.straylightrun.com it will help you medicate yourself. its john nolan from TBS’s new band. you will love me for hooking up the love. Pete

August 13, 2003

1:11 am

“one day you will love me.”

medicate yourself. john nolan from taking back sundays new band: www.straylightrun.com

August 15, 2003

12:22 am

my fist versus your teeth

friday Q101 8pm- we're up again. listen and vote. 773 591 8300. thanks if you already did.

August 16, 2003

1:02 pm

“our drought is drying out.”

so many mixed feelings. the past dangles over my head. i miss you. broken down in a library in montana. listen to q101 on monday at 8.

peter

August 19, 2003

1:15 am

“i am that gasp of breath on your deathbead (stale and panicked) but you're still dying for me”

i got a list of things in my head that i miss about you. id love to write them but i dont want to give myself away to you this easily. this fall is going to be great i think. if its not than my plans simply arent working.

you are a boomerang, you'll see.

oh yeah keep voting.

[macawbre]

starter call!

capping at 3!! inbox is open to all mini introductions though!

please comment with an emoji at the starter you're interested in!

Faculty and Staff Mission Task Board

Small hunting parties regularly venture beyond monastery walls to hunt for additional food to pad out supplies. On one of your patrols, your arrow manages to sink deep between the ribs of a young buck. He flees, alive, but leaving a trail of blood in his wake. Tracking him down will take all night, which is bad news when there’s snow already falling. Even so, you can’t just return empty-handed. [Grants Bow +1] 🏹

The younger members of the clergy empathize deeply with the fearful students. Noticing that it’s the Guardian Moon, one of them decides to show the students how to make a “Saint Seiros charm” from their hometown, a traditional craft for Saint Seiros Day. The bit of Faith magic woven into it gives the trinket a certain comforting aura, something much-needed during these perilous times. Others offer instruction about their own version of charms that, while not for Saint Seiros, offer a sense of togetherness and cultural connection, and helps take one’s mind off the cold. ✨

An overnight outage to the stables’ heating system results in the deaths of several wyverns, personal mounts and beloved lesson drakes alike. In their grief, passionate students vowed to sleep overnight in the wyvern stables to help them keep warm through the night. [Grants Flying +1] ❄

The long, dark nights often lead to despair, but this year seems to have led to a more extreme crisis. Some members of the Knights of Seiros defy their orders and steal away with some crest stones in the dark of night. The promise of power and, most importantly, eternal warmth in a cold winter drives their actions, but they are powerless against the curse. These monsters roaming the hills may have been your allies once, but there is no trace of them here. ☠

Desperation pushes starving villagers and stranded merchants to unscrupulous means to survive. As you finish up one of your patrols, a band of thieves manage to catch you by surprise and take one of your colleagues hostage. Holding a knife to their throat, they demand gold and supplies to help them survive the storm. They are still inexperienced civilians in the end though. An experienced warrior like yourself would cut them down easily, if that’s what you choose to do. [Grants Gauntlets +1] 🤺

NEW! Oddly, the mages notice that Reason magic has been on the fritz lately. Even the most experienced sages find it difficult to control their magic, never mind the practicing novices that keep burning themselves and injuring others. A late-night attempt to study for a Reason exam quickly gets out of hand and sends a classroom up in flames. The Knights of Seiros and other members of the monastery’s facilities must rush in quickly in order to contain the fire and save lives. [Grants Reason +1] 🔥

NEW! Mail arrives at the monastery for the first time in weeks, carried by a brave messenger who dies almost as soon as he arrives. With the break in communication and lingering unrest from the incident with the imposters, friends and loved ones from other continents are desperately trying to reestablish contact. Their frantic letters speak of trouble from home, but there’s no way to get a timely reply back in this weather… 💌

NEW! As you brave the wilderness for more food, you hear the howl of wolves nearby. It looks like they’ve just brought down a massive buck, big enough to feed an entire pack… the hunger pangs return, gnawing at your empty stomach. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Do you have it in you to keep hunting for however many hours it takes, when there is food right here? Trying to steal from starving wolves is a big risk to take—you’ll become prey yourself if you’re not careful. But a deer that size could provide many meals to your friends and allies back in the monastery. You better act fast before the wolves devour every piece of meat. [Grants Lance +1] 🐺

Non-Mission Task Board

The Ethereal Ball is done, but as you’re leaving, you see flocks of people making for a barely-trodden little footpath leading partway down the mountain. Should you follow it, the sound of music and hollering would begin to swell, until you are greeted with a barebones but extremely lively party with a large bonfire and no shortage of entertainment. Dancing, singing – both far more boisterous and free than anything the Ball offered – is plentiful, and it only seems to be getting started. There’s even a fun axe-throwing game set up between the trees. Better take advantage of the party now - those clouds overhead look ready to snow. [Grants Axe +1] 🪓

Certain students concocted their own solution to last month’s shrinking problem: a potion that allows one to add a couple of inches to your height. It’s so potent that the effect remains even after the curse was dispelled, resulting in students noticeably taller than they were before the incident. No one knows what the side-effects are, or how long the potion lasts, and yet demand grows among the student population. Investigate by offering yourself as a guinea pig, or observe from afar. 🧪

A new exercise craze has taken over the continents and has now infiltrated Fodlan’s borders. A group of people claiming to be professional instructors are hosting a class promoting ‘The Askr’ along with other various aerobic, high-energy exercises to keep one warm! If the new wave and synth pop beats don’t get you moving, then maybe the brightly-colored leotards, headbands and legwarmers will grab your attention. (Or maybe you’re just there for the cute men and women in said leotards). [Grants Heavy Armor +1] 💪

Winter has settled in at Garreg Mach, and the long hours of darkness are working their way into the bodies and minds of its staff and students. Shelter from the bitter winds and snows that blow outside soon turn just as suffocating, as the stillness permits too many unwanted thoughts to worm their way into the crevices of your thoughts. A fresh distraction is desperately due, but in short supply during this season. A minor Faerghus noble knows these troubles all too well, and so she offers to Garreg Mach a small donation. A small, vacant building in town has now been renovated into a simple retreat for anyone to visit. Rustic and cozy, it features a host of simple food and drink, a warm fire…and a challenge not for the faint of heart! Participants need to eat a whole bucket of the spiciest pieces of chicken you can imagine or fall over trying. Will you come to cheer or boo the competitors on? Enter it yourself? Or stow yourself away in a more quiet corner to have a drink and reflect? 🏠

Have you ever wanted your own emblem ring? Well look no further! A professor at the academy, who shall not be named, has recently begun forging copies of his Ring of the Avenger, which he promises will grant overflowing power and arcane energies to any who equip it. But, he also warns, it curses the wearer with an insatiable urge for bloodlust! With so many copies floating around, surely these claims can’t be real… Better slip one on and find out for yourself! 💍

NEW! Stir-crazy students, desperate for anything new, have latched onto a new fad. An anonymous student’s ongoing novel, updated with a new chapter every other day with little fanfare in the past, takes the academy by storm! The premise is of a group of students on a frozen planet a grand city, the last bastion of humanity, in hopes of finding others of their kind. Students rave over the gripping plot and complex characters, but when the story begins inspiring reader to set out on an adventure of their own, the administration moves quickly to ban it from school grounds. You ought to see what all the fuss is about. 📚

NEW! This most recent run of the Arena results in more injuries than usual, and with resources scarce as-is, the infirmary turns to lesser-used remedies and ancient herbs to try to treat these wounds. Few people want to try them, for good reason: the list of potential side-effects is almost as long as your final essay in history class. Yet the nurses are in grave need of test subjects willing to test out these new cures. Will you help them out? [Grants Faith +1] 🌱

[larrietalk]

If you actually look at the history between H and Jeff, you can really see how calculated it was from the beginning. Jeff being an offspring of the music industry mogul Irvine Azoff was the right age to swoop right in when management physically forced Louis and Harry apart, most of the time onto two different continents, and be like „oh Harry, I can be like your older brother show you the ropes around LA, the industry and Hollywood, let me introduce you to all these cool people and places and parties! I know how you feel, I’m young too and sort of slipped into the industry circles bc my dad is big here“ and to me it’s quite clear that this was planned by the azoffs for a long time, kicking off with „oh do you need a manager for your solo career? Funny I was thinking about becoming one, let me found my management company real quick under my dad’s company. Isn’t it gonna be great to have a friend who’s got your best interest at heart be your manager??“. To Jeff, Harry was always a cash cow first, a friend second, and for a long time I think for Harry Jeff was a friend first, manager second. It does feel like it changed during the pandemic. Maybe Harry had some time away from all the yes-sayers around him and get a better view on his situation, and maybe saw other people take charge of their careers in a way he’d like to himself (Louis? BMG?) But yeah. I think Harry’s sort of over it, and genuinely feels hurt and betrayed by his friend Jeff. It’s not a simple this or that thing, though. Imagine you slowly realise your close friend you’ve had for years does not in fact have your best interest at heart? Yeah those platonic feelings don’t just disappear over night.

Well anon, didn't you just choose a perfect day to send this in. Yeah, in all honesty the sheer fact that Irving probably sent Jeff to befriend Harry with the intention to make him their cash cow in the future is.... sick. Don't even get me started on the age difference too. Jeff came into the picture at the time when Harry was being separated from the band and Louis, when he was spending all of his free time in LA. If we look back at how the Azoffs took Harry in when he was just 19-20 years old away from his family and his partner….it really is sick to think about it all being planned. However, I do keep wondering what is happening bts now, because what they're showing us? Is this really Harry? Or is HSHQ's perception of him so warped? Suddenly, he's this untouchable star, too cool for everybody, only interacting with HSHQ-approved people, never talking himself... Are they afraid of who he really is and trying to erase it? Because honestly, when he was still speaking (lol), he said one thing and the team had him do another.

Now, seeing Harry in 2021 I genuinely thought (still actually do) that he saw through Jeff and the rest of the people around him. I don't remember when we last saw him genuinely smile. He seemed to look miserable, tired, even during tour you could see he was going through the motions at times. Then, there's all the support they are showing his beard. Talk about respect for Harry's real partner, huh. And now, they are having him perform at a festival owned by a literal homophobe? Making money for a man that has a record of donating to anti-LGBTQ groups? Where is the care and protectiveness for Harry's identity? Yeah, you might say it's business and money matters most, but some larries still put Jeff on such a high pedestal saying his love for Harry wouldn't let this happen so I ask... Where is that love and protection for him? You know, for a team that’s touts being about community, they sure are okay with supporting the oppressors of Harry's own community. So the fact they are still around is truly... astounding to me. 

And I do think that Harry genuinely saw Jeff as a friend so I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been to realize that your friend would prioritize money and commercial success over what you stand for, your well-being, and your long-held desire to come out. If we are right about this, I feel for Harry so much because he seems like he cares greatly about loyalty. I don't know, nonnie. I sometimes am not sure what to think. But I do anticipate that something may have to blow up soon because the way HSHQ is operating now and just by looking at Harry - it can't go on.

[innovacancy]

Failure The Sinclair, Cambridge, MA 25 June 2022 Click below to read all about the show!

It’s Failure and a movie in Boston and across America as the legendary space-rock artists cross the continent in support of their latest record, Wild Type Droid. With the 25-year anniversary of the seminal Fantastic Planet having arrived during the pandemic, it’s their first excursion in wake of the milestone, and the occasion has spawned a documentary film, due in 2023, that focuses on the band’s living legacy.  A truncated, 30-minute edit of the doc plays before Failure takes the stage on each night of this tour, and the pared-down version focuses on interviews with actors, comedians, and of course other musicians who found themselves drawn to the band’s singular sound.  There’s some unsurprising faces in the doc, including Tommy Lee and Maynard James Keenan, but also a few more left-field appearances such as Jason Schwartzman and Hayley Williams of Paramore, the latter of whom describes receiving a burnt copy of Fantastic Planet from a future bandmate when they were high school students.  The film also highlights how, through sheer individuality, the band beat the curse of the comeback record when they reemerged after a fifteen-year hiatus with The Heart Is a Monster, picking up where they left off as if the better part of two decades hadn’t passed in the interim.

After that brief taste of the film, there’s time for one more interlude before the band arrives, and, perhaps surprisingly, it’s a projection of the Ren and Stimpy episode, ‘Space Madness’.  The band have always had a sense of humor about their perennial fascination with the cosmic; even on Fantastic Planet they were already titling tracks like ‘Another Space Song’ in self-aware acknowledgment of their obsession.  But while the film regaled us with stories of the past, the baker’s dozen songs in the band’s main set centered primarily on Wild Type Droid, including an unlikely seamless segue from Ren and Stimpy into ‘Submarines’.  Like nearly all of the band’s discography, you won’t find WTD on Spotify – the band was one of many high-profile expats from the platform in the wake of controversy surrounding the company’s inaction on vaccine misinformation, taking a principled position on an issue that directly affects musicians’ ability to keep touring safely.

While once a four-piece including A Perfect Circle guitarist Troy van Leeuwen, since their reformation in 2014 Failure have perhaps become the platonic embodiment of a power trio. It’s become nigh impossible to envision Failure as anything other than the union of Ken Andrews, Greg Edwards, and Kellii Scott, each a multi-faceted and virtuosic player in their own right. Through their collaboration they have always triangulated the iconic Failure sound across the years, like finding a signal among the stars, as much an act of divination as it is one of creation.  Few bands play so deftly with the occasional detuned guitar and vocal as Failure. While many a fan of the band was probably introduced to Fantastic Planet by way of A Perfect Circle’s high-profile cover of ‘The Nurse Who Loved Me’, upon listening to the original you’ll notice little deflections in the chords that Keenan and company smoothed out.  While Keenan’s gorgeous delivery would probably score higher with a vocal instructor, alternating the two and highlighting the differences in Andrews’ vocal, as well as the guitar track, slowly reveals the true genius of the original.

The band’s unique dynamic also makes it so hard to pick a favorite album of theirs; while hardly a necessary exercise, it can be fun – and I’d wager Failure fans run one of the widest temporal gamuts when it comes to their favorites. Fantastic Planet looms large in the hearts and eardrums of many, but any of their three post-resurgence albums delights with how they each skirt the border between the band’s evergreen songwriting techniques and modern sonic advancements.  Keen to acknowledge the quarter-century of FP before the night concludes, the band returns to the stage after their encore break to play a sequence of tracks therefrom, an absolute hit parade that moves from the iconic ‘Nurse’, through the huge power riffs of ‘Stuck on You’, into the interminable groove of ‘Heliotropic’, and finally concludes in the haunting final refrain of ‘Daylight’.  Andrews holds out a finger and traces the outline of the room as the final chord fades into the air, and each of the band members lingers a bit and waves to the eager crowd, visibly humbled by and grateful to each of the folks who’s helped pack the room at The Sinclair for the evening.  Be they newcomers or fans of nearly 30 years, whether they arrived with Wild Type Droid or the first notes of Comfort, it’s safe to say that listening to Failure has shifted each attendee’s musical journey for the better.

[dreaminginvelaris]

A Response to a Feyre Anti

I made a post recently explaining the dread of having to watch Feyre be abused by her sisters and father, in the Tv adaption. And a Feyre anti made a response, to something that should not be criticized at all considering what I said was just the truth? Feyre was abused. Not only that but they went on and completely twisted the narrative to fit their own ideas and in the process made Feyre out to be cruel and Nesta a saint. complete bull.

I will not be tagging the anti bc they have me blocked (shocker), but also I do not want anyone to go after them, if you come across the post, I don't want it to be through me. it's as much respect I can give to them.

I usually do not respond to those who have something to say with a post of mine or are blatantly talking about me on their blog, unless they're just spreading absolute lies about me or what i "said", it's usually a waste of time to do so. but this post attacked Feyre with outrageous lies and a complete backward interpretation of what actually happened in acotar, so as respectful as I can be, I will be analyzing the anti-response and what truly happened in acotar.

"the audience will only see two sisters fighting-not abuse" "it’s not Nesta you need to worry about. It’s audiences calling Feyre a big dumbass and a bitch" -from anti

if the audience has basic human compassion and empathy for humans IRL or fictional, they will see what's obvious from the start. Feyres abuse. how is it going to look, when they see Feyre walking through the woods, shaking from the cold, starving from hunger, and struggling to find food for her family? only to later see Nesta's treatment of Feyre?"

in the anti's post, they said Feyre was just as "heinous" to Nesta.

is Feyre the one calling Nesta a pig? a smelly pig? ordering her to take her clothes off?

no, it's not, it's dear Nesta. the text goes as "I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to bark at her" oh yes... how cruel of Feyre. how heinous of Feyre to...stay quiet... at the verbal abuse.

in the same image we see Feyre ask Nesta to do something (kindly might I add) and then inquire why she didn't chop wood like she needs to.

what does Nesta do? acts like a brat and insults Feyre...once again.

considering I'm going off by the story and not the actual screenplay, and assuming they stay true to the story; will the audience not be disgusted by Nesta's behavior? I mean they just saw Feyre struggle to find food and they expect Feyre to go home to a family happy and appreciative of Feyre but instead, they get this familial abuse.

the anti said Feyre basically tells Nesta this:

"If you keep bitching at everyone like this no one will want to be around you or you can’t marry this guy because you’re a waste of space to me"

but what do we see?

"Believe me... the day you want to marry someone worthy, I'll march up to his house and hand you over. But you're not going to marry Tomas."

the word worthy, did that not catch your eye? Feyre said Nesta will have to marry someone worthy, someone, who will treat Nesta kindly and give her the life Feyre thinks her sisters deserve. bc Feyre does think that IDK why anti feyres think Feyre despised Nesta so much, Feyre loved her sisters.

what the anti fails to realize here is that Nesta marrying Tomas would have been actually pretty great for Feyre. in the sense that, Feyre would no longer carry the burden of her sister. Feyre would not have to worry about feeding one more mouth. or worrying about Nesta's constant stealing of Feyre's money. Feyre does not think Nesta is a "waste of space" to her, if she did, it would have been easy for Feyre to discard Nesta, and allow her to marry Tomas. the anti has that twisted.

but that is not even the worst part of the scene. did you see the shameless slut-shaming that came out of Nesta's mouth? how will the audience take to that? do you think most of the younger generation will take it lightly to see a sister slut-shame a sister? a woman putting down another woman? in this social climate? where the feminism movement is alive and flourishing. will they be okay with it? will they still blame Feyre and be mad at her the way the anti says they will be? I hope not otherwise I'm losing faith in humanity.

Lovely words Nesta spews at Feyre. I admit Feyre should have told her then and there that Tomas is abusive. but let's think: Feyre is 19 years old, the youngest, has never had any raising by a parental figure, has been neglected by her whole family, where would Feyre learn to calmly talk to an overgrown brat like Nesta? Feyre telling Nesta who Tomas truly is the duty of a parent, not a sister. I will not condemn Feyre for not knowing that was the perfect time to tell Nesta who Tomas is. especially when Feyre is being tormented and verbally/emotionally abused, its kinda hard to think about something else while you're being told all these horrible words. to us its easy to see where Feyre went wrong but unless you're in the exact position Feyre was in. no one has any room to talk. and even then, every person is different in situations like these.

this part was me analyzing the interactions between Feyre and Nesta since anti had reasons to believe Feyre was just as bad to Nesta and that the audience would see that and hate Feyre. I am now going to respond to the second part of the Feyre Anti's response.

"How will an audience of non-fans react to her not reaching out to her family to tell them she was okay after the reconciliation between her and Nesta? Or not inviting them to the wedding?"- from anti

moving onto acomaf now.

Idk maybe the audience will see Feyre, a depressed, lonely, individual in an abusive relationship while being manipulated by other individuals she called friends, and understand and empathize with her. all throughout the beginning and half of acomaf, Feyre is in critical depression. she wholeheartedly believes she should not be alive. that she is not worthy. she doesn't eat, all she does is sleep, self-care is not important to her or others so why would letting a family know she's okay, a family who BARELY ever cared about her, be a priority? it doesn't seem like Nesta or elain or her father was really fazed by Feyre's lack of communication. her father left on a trip, elain got engaged and Nesta, well we didn't see a tearful welcoming to Feyre on Nesta's part did we?

anti, where is the outcry of her "family" not even really caring if Feyre was safe or not, of what happened to her? it's not like they thought she had died, otherwise, where was the mourning or funeral? no, they just didn't care.

see this is where I know when anti is just full of bullshit. why, WHY, would Feyre invite her family to wedding full of fae? the creatures elain and Nesta fear and hate? for all the talk many anti's spew about Feyre being inconsiderate to Nesta, to her family, you would think Feyre maybe just knows a fae wedding would be the last thing they would want? even then, does Feyre owe them an invitation to her wedding? does she owe them an update on her life? nope. Feyre owed them nothing.

"How about her shit-talking Nesta to a bunch of strangers then having the audacity to ask her to get involved in a war. Oh! This is after she comes into her house and insults their hospitality." - from anti

I hardly think Feyre confiding in individuals who she learned to care about and laying out all the trauma Feyre endured with her family is "shit-talking" but for argument's sake, let's say it is. I still don't see what's wrong? after years of pent-up anger and hurt, would you not let go of everything you withheld inside and explain what was done to you? how you felt? Feyre telling the IC her life story, which contains Nesta's abuse and her family's neglect, was a form of therapy for Feyre. I never read a line where Feyre calls Nesta a "cold-hearted bitch" or called elain "a lazy ditz" she just said the truth. no added embellishments. Cassian was the one who shit-talked Nesta during the dinner scene, never Feyre.

I still don't understand why antis are so against Feyre asking her sisters for help? like the war didn't involve them? they're humans, and you know what the war was about? Hybern wanting to take control of the human lands like they once did and turn them into slaves. those humans included Nesta and elain.

"They could have left the continent" correct, except elain was engaged and refused to leave Grayson. which meant Nesta refused to leave elain. but even so, isn't it the duty of humans to band together and work to overthrow a race of people who want to torture and keep them as slaves? the queens certainly weren't doing their jobs. Feyre asked to use "their" house to meet the queens bc where else would they do it? the queens trust the fae less than Nesta or elain did. but even so, Feyre asking to use their house was a courtesy, that house is rightfully Feyre's. she is the one who sacrificed herself to leave with Tamlin. she did it bravely, courageously, and they got that house thanks to her. they owed Feyre everything. and the only one who acknowledged that was Elain.

that war involved elain and Nesta whether they or Feyre or the anti's liked it or not. not even considering that Nesta and elain are Feyre Archerons sisters, yeah, their family name alone puts a target on their back.

How did Feyre or the court insult Elain's and Nesta's hospitality? You mean when Feyre realized human food differed from fae food? something she did not know about bc she's barely been turned to fae and only had eaten fae dishes? Feyre's grimace towards the human food was an involuntary reaction to someone who is still learning their new body. or was it when Cassian called out Nesta for her cold treatment towards Feyre? if that's the case then fuck decency, I would call out a fake bitch in my presence from minute one. you cant call what Nesta did "hospitality" when all she did was insult Feyre when she didn't even care that Feyre had died, or lost her love bc of abuse, or that her body was changed against her will.

hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

did y'all read something different bc this for sure was nothing Nesta gave to her guests?

----

the rest of the anti post moves towards Rhysand and his actions UTM which I won't go into because I'm mainly just addressing the false interpretations this anti had to say about Feyre and her family.

I'm not sure how to sign off now lol, but I guess just that I hope this was enough to show how this anti's arguments were completely ludicrous and have absolutely no compassion for Feyre, and instead all the compassion for Feyre's abusers. This anti had a real spin on what the actual story was, and I hope the evidence I provided was enough to show that. Anyways yeah my brain is fried, and I'm done arguing with Feyre anti's for a while now, I need to go praise my queen Feyre so I can receive some semblance of peace.

anyways, stan Feyre for clear skin xx