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#apparently there’s wild chickens
coridallasmultipass · 5 months
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Has Dirk ever actually eaten steak?
(TW casual animal death I guess, sorry)
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Okay, so this is a total shitpost idea I had last night on Tweeter and I said I'd make it a post here, so I'm following through. Bear with me, because if I jump past my thought process, I'll probably sound like a total maniac for even imagining this.
Let me back up.
I was thinking about Dirk (a normal occurrence). Then I start thinking about Nepeta, since they have the same Aspect. And then I start thinking about Tavros' cat allergies. So then I circle back to Dirk, since Dirk has obviously never seen a cat in person before, and therefore has no built-up immunity to cat dander, and would definitely be hella allergic. (Also, it's been my headcanon since, like, the dawn of time, that Dirk would have a shit immune system when it comes to humans, on account of never being around another person in his life, and he probably gets super sick upon meeting up with people in person for the first time.)
Back to the steak quote. Dirk has obviously never eaten like, actual steak from a cow before. Cows probably don't even exist anymore, outside of maybe a scant few super high elevation places on the other side of the globe. He probably wouldn't be able to digest it well regardless, since he's never had red meat. Dirk says he fishes, and he's obviously got seagulls around, so that's probably also on the menu (besides the super expired canned and dry ration shit left behind), and it's as natural as eating chicken is for everyone else (cough chicken of the sea joke cough), and he assumes that's what chicken is supposed to taste like, which leads to a hilarious spit-take for his first time trying actual chicken.
Moving forward to post-game. We're gonna set this scenario inside a neat little anime beach episode setting where everyone is happy and alive, because that makes it hilarious. Everyone's having a chill day at the beach. The seagulls presumably pester everyone who has a shiny bag of chips in their hands. People are playing volleyball. It's lunch time.
Dirk is looking at the seagulls eyeballing his bag of chips like, "Man, these guys are so dumb, watch this." And he calls a seagull over because he knows how to call them in a way they immediately trust him, and just... kills it quickly, and goes, "Alright, that was easy, let's start the barbecue, guys."
But there's a pall that's fallen over everyone. The beach ball blows past like a tumbleweed. Everyone's* mouth is agape in pure horror.
Dirk looks at the seagull in his hands. And back at the group. And he's like, "This is another one of those things I needed to deprogram, isn't it."
Everyone is whispering like, "What the fuck..." But to make things worse, Jade declares that there needs to be a funeral for the seagull, because literally no one else there is okay with eating it (and no one told Dirk beforehand, but someone already brought store-bought and pre-seasoned chicken for the barbecue, which doesn't make sense to him because it's not even fresh, aren't you supposed to have like a 'catch of the day' type of thing? Someone has to tell him that that only applies to fish, however arbitrary that seems). And Dirk has to stand there, living the most embarrassing moment of his life, keeping his cool, while perfectly good seagull meat is being lowered into the ground. People build a fucking sand castle memorial.
Jade like, gives him a hug like, "It's okay, Dirk, you didn't mean to do it." And Dirk has to bite back a 'Yeah, I kinda did mean it. This is stupid, and if anything, even worse to waste its life for nothing.' But he has enough self-awareness to know when to at least keep his mouth shut to prevent further damage.
He never could get over how weird chicken actually tastes, it's like fluffy and weird and doesn't even fit the theme of a beach party.
*everyone, except Jake and Nepeta/Davepeta, is completely scandalized at the image of Dirk just snapping a seagull's neck like it's nothing. They still wouldn't eat it, but they at least don't think he's a murderer for doing it.
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winemom-culture · 9 months
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I come out of my bedroom and look in the backyard and see my mom and son crouched over something so I go out there and there’s just? This rabbit
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ageofzero · 9 months
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TODAY I LEARNED THAT AT THE START OF THE PANDEMIC, BEN DROWNED FINALLY GOT ITS PART 3.
once again I am like years late to the news/party but mfer I was there when Alex was working on part 3 to be a forum and video game ARG combo experience omfg. Those forums are long gone, wiped off the internet, but damn!! He really said "oh, I have time to do this now" and fcking finished it while I wasn't looking.
He also used AI image generators for the process so it's a monkey's paw situation for me but still. dang.
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sarroora · 1 year
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I only recently learned that eating pigeon isn’t common everywhere like, chicken or something.
It’s super entertaining watching YouTube vids of foreigners coming to Egypt and this being on their to-do list like: “gotta visit the pyramids, see the citadel, buy merch from Khan el Khalili, eat a pigeon, etc”
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strigital · 3 months
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🪄✨
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got to run around Hogwarts Legacy for approx. 8 lvls and so far I've very successfully fallen victim to Sebastian and Ominis's charms, MC's cootie-patootiedness and the overall magical school audio-visual feast for the autistic creature inside my brain. Anyways here's my shy on the outside menace on the inside Gryffindor half-blood who grew up in a workhouse in Whitechapel as Ellie Fairchild and was educated for domestic service, but then discovered her magic by making her latest employer's kitchen explode and after getting a scar on her face and turning her hair grey, spent a few years in Wales with her witch aunt and Professor Fig, then ventured to Hogwarts, now under her real name of Elowen Pendragon (listen, i just love the Arthurian legend way too much ok? tho not as much as i utterly enjoy victorian era and everything to do with it (bless Dr. Ruth Goodman for her bombastic book on the subject!!).
#my face when I read a smutty Sebastian fic and the author mentions bras and panties: 💀💀💀#my face when I read another smutty Sebastian fic and the author mentions chemises and corsets: 😍😍😍#and before you say bUt ThE wIzArDs CoUlD'vE iNvEnTeD mOdErN uNdErGaRmEnTs#first of all unlacing a corset is the sexiest thing in the world just right after untying ribbons that keep lady's stockings above the knee#second of all... easy. access. bloomers. enough said#also i feel really freaking weird simping over these menaces in boy shape cause they're like 16/17 and im a grown ass granny twice their ag#but their fictional?? and shipping them with a fellow 16/17 year old mc shouldn't be considered bad??#especially considering that the age of consent in britain is 16 but who the hells know if its any different in wizarding world??#so anyways#my fav part of the game? running around like a headless chicken cause I'm lost and being late to class all the time just like in real life#I'd like to believe that when ominis hears frantic tapping of heels behind he immediately expects to hear a quick 'hi ominis' whizz past hi#and seb enjoys sometimes volunteering to show her to the classroom and then leads her on a wild goose chase across the castle#just because he wants to spend some time with the new girl#i mean common you really gonna listen to the way he talks talks to mc and assume he's not flirting?? man's saw new girl walk in and said#'imma girlfriend her ass'#anyways#tho I'm utterly peeved how much this game likes to crash#besides that I'm also peeved there's way too little classes and no consequences for skipping or breaking curfew#also apparently me personally i belong in Hufflepuff???#first of all i hate yellow second of all... yeah Hufflepuff makes sence#my art#sketch#traditional art#ballpoint art#hogwarts legacy#wizarding world#man it do be nice to sketch at work in outdoor garden center hee hoo#she also has a pet barnie owl!! 🦉 man do i looove barnie owls like goddamn make me into one when i reincarnate please#also low-key high-key Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge is SUCH a Seb/MC song I'm crying#harry potter universe
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six-of-ravens · 10 months
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obsessed with the nutone blender recipe videos sewrena has been posting on ig, people in the 50s really would blend anything (or else encase it in jello)
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You may notice I frequently comment on the assumptions people make about animal facilities based on their branding. Frequently, people assume accredited facilities are inherently better for animals than unaccredited facilities, or assume sanctuaries are inherently more moral / better at caring for their animals than zoos.
I want to show you an example of why I am always, always skeptical of these assumptions.
If you’re in the California area, you might have heard about Hank the Tank - who is actually a Henrietta, btw - the 500 pound nuisance bear from Lake Tahoe who broke into 21 homes in search of food. She was recently captured by wildlife officials and moved to a sanctuary in Colorado. The Wild Animal Sanctuary has three main facilities, two in Colorado and one in TX. To give you some context, it’s the biggest carnivore sanctuary in the country - they advertise somewhere between 300-500 animals, mostly large carnivores, between their properties. It’s where most of the Tiger King cats went. It’s PETA’s preferred placement for confiscated exotic animals. So, obviously, it’s got to be great, right? Except… take a look at what they posted about Henrietta’s arrival.
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Here’s their post about Henrietta’s arrival at the Refuge, the large facility in Colorado that isn’t open to the public. Let’s take a closer look at that food trough…
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What do we see here? An entire rotisserie chicken that is either blackened or highly seasoned, and a whole ham. Maybe a second chicken underneath the pile, I can’t quite tell. The sanctuary gets the majority of their bear food donated from groceries stores once it’s past the sell-by date, so we know those are older meats and they’re full of a ton of salt. Then, for fruit and veg, there’s a cantaloupe, mango, corn, avocado, grapes, and apples. Maybe a pepper or two, it’s hard to tell. That’s a lot of sugar and not a lot of fiber or roughage.
But… on top of it and to the right… are those Twizzlers?
Yes.
The sanctuary confirmed on Facebook that they fed this recently rescued obese bear what looks like almost an entire pack of Twizzlers.
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I don’t know of any world in which it’s appropriate to feed candy to a bear. Maybe a piece or two as a really high value reinforcer for hard behaviors (that isn’t relevant here, it’s openly against this sanctuary’s ethos to do any husbandry or medical training). An entire pack of Twizzlers is just appalling. But it’s not uncommon for this facility! I have a book written about their operations and animal care (that I bought at their gift shop this spring) which openly discusses how the bears get fed bread, doughnuts, marshmallows, and all sorts of incredibly unhealthy food that comes in with the grocery donations.
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But hey, this is apparently fine for the bears, according to the sanctuary’s founder. He was quoted in that same book as saying “Bears are the only animal I know of that can eat insane amounts of sugar and it never hurts them. It does not hurt their organs. They do not get clogged arteries. They do not have high blood pressure. In the wild they eat all these sweet berries in the fall, and they convert sugar to fat… so the more sugar they get the better… we would all love to have a system like that!”
Now while it’s true that bears have physiological adaptations that modulate their insulin production and sensitivity in ways that appear to prevent them from from developing diabetes, that does’t mean it’s healthy for them to regularly eat processed carbohydrates, sugar, and general junk food. And remember - Henrietta gained her fame because of how incredibly overweight she already is, and because she was seeking out human food, According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, a healthy weight for a normal adult black bear is between 100-300 pounds. So, obviously, the best thing to do is… continue to feed her candy.
Then, later on in the book, it details how they have to bribe a camel to sit tight for a regular medical examination (since they don’t train for medical behaviors) by letting him drink a can of Mountain Dew each time.
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If a zoo was known publicly to be feeding their animals Mountain Dew or a couple Twizzlers - even just once, on a rare occasion - they’d be eviscerated in the media and by public opinion. But feeding out inappropriate junk food appears to be a pretty common practice at this place, and it just goes unscrutinized because everyone assumes sanctuaries are inherently better for animals.
So, long story short, never make assumptions about the quality of a facility based on it’s branding or accreditation. (TWAS is accredited by the Global Federation of Animal Sanctuaries). If you have concerns about the ethics or practices of a facility, always try to put your preconceptions aside, go and see for yourself, and think critically about what you see and what you’re told.
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webdragon444 · 2 years
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Saw a rooster hanging out with his mini flock at the grocery store the other day!
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verstarppen · 9 months
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summary; there's little time between fast cars and spaceships, but you make it work
pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ] a/n; sorry for not posting i was planning the funeral for max's winning streak and mourning please excuse me ALSO THANK YOU FOR 250 FOLLOWERS I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ALL [ series masterlist ]
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liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 983,212 others
yndeathtrooper escaped the after party for a walk
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spookyscaryscuderia the only people on earth who will leave THE EMMYS for a CHICKEN WRAP
alex_albon My invite didn't arrive it's fine guys
danielricciardo Mine neither yndeathtrooper pay the bill alex_albon YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE yndeathtrooper BITCH YOU TOO
astongoatin i'm obsessed with them help me
verstappler DAMN IT the after party pics would've gone hard
monte_carlos_55 live laugh love y/nlando
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liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 667,389 others
lando.jpg january
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oscarpiastri Oh the honor of being on a lando.jpg post
lando.jpg enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, mate
haas_shaker THE CAMERA PERSON???
sunbathepapaya the note :((((((((
wafflemango I can't believe I lived to witness Y/nlando make cookies live, what a time to be alive
maxmaxmaxsuper When was this?? What happened?? wafflemango Powder fight, choking on batter, Lando cut his finger THROUGH a strawberry, the oven gave out and they had to call the owner of the guest house beacuse it wouldn't turn on. BUT THEY SURVIVED and apparently it tasted good maxmaxmaxsuper I'm convinced these people are not real
481_landoscar Everyone please pray for Oscar Piastri. He's not dead, just third wheeling.
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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, pascalispunk and 4,592,102 others
starwars Something is coming. Something dark.
Meet # MorganElsbeth , # ShinHati and  # HeraSyndulla. Experience the two-episode premiere of @ AhsokaOfficial, a Star Wars Original series, streaming August 23 only on @ DisneyPlus.
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pearlyricciardo ok but is y/n in those two episodes because im not watching otherwise
loleclerc y/n and lando did more marketing for this than any official account 💀💀
danielricciardo But will you be watching them with the star of the show? That's what I thought.
yndeathtrooper holy shit you're watching ahsoka with lars mikkelsen? danielricciardo I wish.
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liked by yndeathtrooper, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 281,322 others
mclaren Not long now, boys.⏳
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yndeathtrooper ay who's the guy on the right he's kinda cute
landonorris did you see this in a mirror like?? yndeathtrooper who are you
bellanorris CAN'T WAIT
sugarussell LET'S GO BOYS
stappenlover lando first win this year i'm calling it
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liked by yn.jpg, lando.jpg, maxverstappen1 and 119,902 others
daniel3.jpg Took my kids shopping
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yn.jpg thank you father
daniel3.jpg Please don't call me that lando.jpg ur daughter calls me daddy too daniel3.jpg Why would you tell me this
maxverstappen1 Did you get me the yogurt
yn.jpg yes sir 🫡 lando.jpg don't """"sir"""" this loser maxverstappen1 You can repeat that after you pass me yn.jpg LMAOOOOOOO
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liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,808,644 others
yndeathtrooper bye cool hotel sorry for the broken headboard
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goosestappen you broke what
typicallyleclerc YOU CAN'T WATERBOARD THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME Y'ALL ARE STRONGER FR
chewie_gum mOOOM Y/N AND LANDO ARE BEING WILD ON SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN
solorgana GET IT GET IT GET IT
landonorris i am speed
yndeathtroopers you're so funny landonorris i know mclaren We wish you were. landonorris what the fuck
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pic credits: instagram and pinterest
taglist: @justdreamersdream @cha-hot @dl-yum @minkyungseokie @allywthsr (taglist is open!)
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amywritesthings · 9 days
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press four for more options. | part one.
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( Read on AO3 )
Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 4.6k Summary: After seeing your ex with his new girl at a work party, you take the not-so-smart advice from a friend to call a sex hotline to get over him. Your match? A baritone bossy dom named Levi.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - alternate universe (modern), slow burn, eventual smut, sex work, phone sex, dirty talk, dom!levi, light dom/sub Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics
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“Thank you for calling the Scout Services Hotline. You’re only a dial away from your wildest fantasies with the sexiest singles near your area.”
God, even the automated voice sounds porn-y.
A breathy feminine voice straight out of a 1975 VHS tape croons into the dead air of your small apartment bedroom, setting your nerves on edge.
God forbid the noise travels through the walls into your next-door neighbor's bedroom. Harriet and Miro do not need to hear what you’re up to this Friday evening.
Maybe, up to this Friday evening.
You haven’t decided yet, though one could argue that calling was half the battle.
Dressed head-to-toe in an emerald cocktail dress with a face full of tear-stricken makeup, you feel utterly ridiculous sitting at the foot of your bed — not even the edge of the mattress, but the goddamn floor.
Even your black heels, now scuffed from someone stepping on them on your way out to fetch a cab, remain dangling at your toes.
(As non-committal as your last relationship, ironically enough.)
The experts say don’t shit where you eat. Dating someone you work with typically goes up in flames as fast as a rogue wildfire — and you should have listened to all of the warning signs, but Porco Galliard had been so damn charming that you’d forgotten just about everything.
Including your dignity, apparently, since you seemed to conveniently forget the part where he has had an on-again, off-again relationship with Pieck Finger well before you got hired at this place.
Not exactly side chick behavior, since he technically didn’t cheat, but the sting of being second place before the race even started lingered deep.
(Didn’t you know? He always chooses Pieck. It’s just one of those things.)
Well, no missing that now.
Especially since the two of them were so cozy at the annual shareholder event — right in front of your fucking salad.
The event’s slated to end at eleven so you’ve been nursing a wild array of drinks since seven, with little breaks.
In retrospect, the napkin with scribbled chicken scratch that Annie Leonhart, your closest colleague, shoved into your hand in the midst of your brooding at the bar may have been a joke:
You need to loosen up. Call this stupid sex line and get that stick out of your ass.
She wasn’t kidding. 
Every muscle in your body is too taut, including your brain.
So you took a cab, stumbled into your apartment, and landed — here.
Your phone sits right in front of you next to one of your half-worn heels, on speaker at the lowest setting.
Maybe it’s best to let the pre-recording list the entire numerical menu.
Maybe it’ll deter you from pressing anything at all.
“If you already know your match’s extension, press one.”
Yeah, that wasn’t happening.
You tap the napkin carelessly against the stem of your glass of wine, contemplating exactly how Annie Leonhart managed to find the information for this service to begin with.
Did she already have a match?
Did she regularly call them to blow off some steam?
She's always so chill. It would make sense.
There’s a chance this is a nasty prank at your lowest moment, but you don’t think Annie cares enough about other people to plan such a masterful takedown. 
At the work event, she seemed pretty serious about the legitimacy of Scout Services Hotline, and honestly?
Even if you had been drinking all night at the event, you were going to need way more liquid courage to even consider trying your hand at calling a sex line to quell weekend loneliness.
So naturally, you opened a new bottle of wine.
At the first glass of wine, you still weren’t ready.
The second? The napkin sat adjacent to your laptop as you played compilations of sad break-up songs further aggravating your spiraling depression.
The third was the charm to get you to pick up the fucking phone to see what the fuss was all about.
“If you’re looking for someone specific — whether it’s the man, woman, or person of your dreams — press two.”
Tempting.
Your finger reaches out for the ‘2’ on your screen, but you wait it out.
“If you don’t have a preference for your delicious match, press three.”
“You could’ve done without the delicious part,” you mumble to yourself, picking up the glass of wine to take a generous sip. An involuntary grimace tugs at your cheeks.
“If you’re looking to speak with one of our representatives or need more assistance, press four for more options.”
For a solid five minutes you wait.
Contemplating.
Deciding.
You could press the red circle to hang up and go to bed.
It wouldn’t be the first time you rubbed one out and called it a night.
After all, what’s one more lonely weekend?
The spiel starts up again on a loop with the same seductive, breathy feminine voice.
“Thank you for calling the Scout Services Hotline. You’re only a dial away from your wildest fantasies with the sexiest—”
You smash a button, but you’re not sure which one you’ve clicked.
Before you can lean over to see on your screen, a different feminine voice comes over the speaker.
It’s a little higher pitched than the menu screen voice, but it’s still inviting. Warm.
“Thank you for choosing the Scout Services Hotline. You’re speaking to Petra. May I have the pleasure of knowing the name of the person I’m speaking to this evening?”
A name.
You should give a name that isn’t your real name.
But technically wouldn’t your name be on the credit card if you go through with this anyway?
“You can give a nickname, too, if that makes you feel better,” the woman named Petra adds as if she's a mind reader, breaking the running silence on your end of the line. “A lot of our clients like giving a fake name for security and anonymity.”
“Doesn’t that break once you put in your credit card information?” you blurt, not realizing the thought has spilled on your lips.
Petra laughs musically.
“Technically yes, but if you prefer to be called something, then we’ll be sure to add that to your profile. I take it it's your first time calling.”
Why are you doing this again?
“Painfully obvious, right?” you lament, staring down at the scribble on the napkin. 
Did Annie have a fake name with this service?
“Not painfully at all,” Petra promises. “It’s a learning curve. So what may I call you?”
Real or fake?
Committed or just testing the waters?
“Scarlet?” you suggest, wincing immediately at the on-the-nose literary reference.
Letters, passion, blah blah love — it’s about the only creative thing your wine-addled brain can muster.
“I like Scarlet,” she hums, and immediately your brain is set on fire.
Are you going to be seriously this easy?
“Are you female, male, non-binary, genderfluid, prefer not to say…?”
“Female.”
"Pronouns?"
"Um, she and her."
“And you’re over eighteen?”
“Definitely over eighteen.”
“Perfect. So, Scarlet — did you have a preference on who you wish to speak to today? If you have a fantasy you wish to fulfill, then I can select someone for you.”
You want to scream.
Neurons fire as you try to come up with a cool and collected answer, only to allow the elixir of truth on your tongue to spill the beans.
“Just someone who’s got their shit together, honestly.” You exhale an awkward laugh. “I don’t know. I’m just calling because — I mean, I know you don’t care, but I like… um, deep voices? Stronger voices. Honestly I have no idea what to—”
“I have just the person.”
You pause.
Blink.
But you didn’t even describe anyone, not really.
A voice, maybe, if they cater to kinks of that nature.
You can only imagine they do — it’s a sex hotline, for crying out loud.
“Wait, you do?”
“Mhm!” she perkily states. “Is a man alright for this evening?”
A man with a deep voice who allegedly has his pretend shit together.
Granted it isn’t the opposite of Porco, he’s fairly capable at his job and out living his life just fine, but maybe you were just looking for a copy.
(Or a clue.)
“A man is… fine,” you hesitate. “Wait, so when do I give you my credit card information? My friend hooked me up with this, um — I don’t know if you have her name or if I should even say it, I know there’s probably some confidentiality—”
“Hold that thought,” Petra interrupts cheerfully. “You get the first fifteen-minute session for free, actually — you called just in time before our first-timer coupon expires.”
You can’t hide your surprise.
“Really?”
“Really!”
Ha, your fucking luck.
“If you're enjoying the call, just tell your match and we can set up your card and keep it going. All we ask is that you take a survey after your session. Then you’ll be in our system with this phone number! We’ll never solicit you for calls, but it’ll make the process faster the next time should you call our hotline again.”
You drop your head back on your mattress, sighing heavily.
“...okay, yeah. That sounds great.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure.”
“Give me one moment, Scarlet,” Petra giggles.
You hear something shift on her side. 
Maybe she’s swiveling her chair. Are they located in an actual office building?
God, an office where people just do this for a living sounds larger than life.
“I’ll connect you with your match in a moment.”
Then the line cuts out to the opening notes to Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On, and you’re pretty sure you’re this close to chugging the rest of this bottle in one gulp.
“Is this seriously what you do on weekends, Annie?” you mumble to yourself, enduring the brutality of the waiting music while Petra connects you to your alleged match.
A man with a deep voice who has his shit together.
Is that even a real kink?
Has the bar really gotten that low?
Should you have described someone’s appearance? It wasn’t like it mattered over the phone.
As soon as it gets to the high note of the song, the line cuts again — silence.
Immediately you scramble to sit up taller, your hands fumbling to grab the phone from the floor.
You bring it up to your face, cupping the device in both palms to muffle the noise if it becomes downright pornographic in seconds.
Moment of truth.
With bated breath you wait — the person on the other line sighs, heavy and deep, before answering with the most nonchalant tone.
“Thank you for calling the Scout Services Hotline. You’re speaking with Levi. May I ask whom I have the pleasure of speaking to?”
Holy fuck.
Immediately you forget your own voice listening to the hum of the receiver.
While you’ve only joked in passing that you have a voice kink, it’s screaming in neon lights here and now: this man’s voice may be monotone, but there is a growl to it. 
A rumbling.
At this very moment, you completely forget that this man is on speaker phone and you’ve just returned home from the worst work event in the world.
You don’t have an ex-boyfriend.
You don’t even know your home address.
You’re simply… existing, lips parted, taking in the sheer tingle rolling through your torso.
“You there?”
Right, you’re meant to talk back.
“Huh? Oh — yes! Yeah,” you recover poorly. “Hi. It’s, um, it’s Scarlet.”
“Mm, Scarlet… Scarlet, Scarlet, Scarlet…”
The way the name drags along his tongue nearly makes your mouth water. 
His voice — Levi — is smooth, like the velvet on your dress you’ve yet to take off.
“A pretty name for a pretty thing like you.” Something ruffles and Levi makes a small noise on the other end, likened to a cut-off hum. “Tell me what you look like, Scarlet.”
All you can do is stare at a chip in your wooden dresser directly across from you, listening to him speak.
“I’m…” 
What do you even say? 
How come you have to say anything at all? 
Can’t he just read a takeout menu to you and call it a night?
Before you can answer, there’s an amused huff. “Someone’s nervous.”
Your face turns — well, a certain shade of scarlet.
“Ha. Sorry, I’ve—”
“Never done this before?” he finishes for you.
How mortifying. 
“Is it that obvious?”
“It’s cute,” he relents, and you feel your face turn a degree hotter. “Don’t worry — I’ve been told I’m a great teacher, so you’re in good hands.”
“You’ll have your work cut out of you, trust me,” you breathe, feeling like you’ve been injected with an overdose of a truth serum. “Because I just got home from this stupid work event. My ex-boyfriend brought his new girlfriend — who also works with us — as his date — yay, me — except I feel like I was the side-piece-in-waiting for them. So he’s off getting laid and I’m calling a complete stranger on a random Friday because my work colleague recommended this phone sex hotline for a quick solution.”
Silence.
You blink twice as dread settles in your cut. You tap the phone off of speaker and push the device close to your ear, balancing it with your shoulder.
Did you scare him away? 
Was that too much of a depressive dump? 
You suddenly want to crawl under your bed frame and hide there forever.
But then — a gentle chuckle sounds from the other end of the line, and arousal shoots straight to your lower belly.
“Good thing all of the dirty talk is my job, then,” he muses. “You’re supposed to lay back and listen.”
“Listen?”
“Yeah, unless you weren’t looking to get bossed around.”
It isn’t the worst idea you’ve ever heard, that’s for sure.
“If I’m honest with you, Levi, I don’t know what I’m looking for,” you confess, running a hand down your face.
“Then let me figure it out for you. We have time.”
The man calling himself Levi pauses on the other end.
“Did you want to get fucked, Scarlet?”
Well, shit, he didn’t have to say it like that.
“Yes,” you blurt without thinking, then fumbling to recover. “I mean— Sorry, clearly I called thinking about sex, and your voice is extremely lovely and actually very hot—”
“Oh, you think so?” Levi interrupts, honey-smooth voice humming with amusement with that same hum that’s going to make you scream.
“Absolutely. Completely. Are you serious?” you sputter. “You’re like an ASMR wet dream.”
“A what?”
“A wet dream?”
“No, the other thing — ASMR?”
“Um, like when people make really niche quiet noises to a microphone with their mouths, and it gives you the tingly sensation in the back of your head.”
“Interesting,” Levi says. “So are you saying that’s what I do to you?”
For the umpteenth time, your brain blanks.
God, you could scream into your pillow.
If you weren’t so afraid you’d forget to mute your microphone first, then you already would be.
“Yes! — I mean, yes, but — wait, can we just pause this for a second?”
For a moment he doesn’t answer, but the tone of his voice shifts: still just as sultry, but with a hint of confusion and a dash of concern. 
“Of course. Is everything alright?”
No, this entire night is weird.
If you don’t say something, then this is going to just keep looping and wasting his time.
“Okay,” you start, mustering the courage to get through your speech, “I know I’m spoiling the first-caller coupon for a free call and I’m sorry, I’ll totally pay for the session since you’re great and sound insanely hot and I’m sure you’re amazing at your job, but I just…” 
You trail off, collecting your swimming thoughts.
“...I’m something like six or seven drinks in, I am craving potato chips, and I’d really like to just talk to someone for a few minutes.”
There.
It’s out in the open, your confession to the liminal altar.
You half-expect him to hang up rather than wasting his time with someone like you, but to your surprise, there is no click. No call ended. No new automated message.
“Six or seven is a lot,” he comments, and you can picture a brow furrow even if he doesn’t have a face. “Does this mean you handle your liquor, or is this a one-off rager?”
“I think I’m only still functioning because I ate my weight in dinner rolls at the party.”
“Do you have a glass or bottle of water near you?”
The switch up lessens the tension in your shoulder blades in an instant.
His voice is just as crooning, deep and inviting, but it’s nice to simply be asked.
“Nope.”
His voice sharply changes, authoritative and firm. “Then go get one.”
The demand does something to you. 
Without thinking twice you begin to rock up on your heels, standing at full height.
“Okay, Mr. Bossy.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” he asks with a sprinkle of sarcasm. “Someone who has their shit together, if I read the notes right.”
“They write that stuff down?” you ask genuinely, minding your step as you pad barefoot across your apartment to your fridge.
“It’s your session,” he reminds softly. “We do whatever it is you want to do.”
“Even if it’s just to talk?”
“You’d be amazed at how many people call just to talk. Though I can’t say it’s my specialty.”
“No?”
“No. I’m not much of a small talker.”
The refrigerator door swings wide. “What’s your specialty, then?”
“Kink play, mostly. Dom and Sub. Guided masturbation. Edging. Making decisions for people who want to forget about making them for a while.”
One second the bottle of water is in your hand.
Next it’s on the floor.
“That’s, uh… a wide array of specialties,” you say. “And your rate, it’s…?”
“Not cheap.”
“Got it. So I’m really flubbing this free call.”
It’s small, but you hear a chuckle on the other end. “You said you wanted to talk, Scarlet, so we’re talking.”
Bending to grab your water bottle, you untwist the cap.
“Does this bother you, wasting your time talking?”
“You’re not wasting my time, Scarlet,” he says with such a promise that you almost believe it’s genuine. “You have a pretty voice, and you’re funny.”
“Shut up.”
“You do, and you are.”
“Uh-huh. And do you talk to a lot of people during your shifts?”
“That’s confidential.”
“So a lot.”
“Confidential.”
“And the length of calls,” you test, “are they hypothetically confidential, too?”
“It’s per minute, so.”
“Per minute?” you gawk. “Jesus, I’d go bankrupt talking to you.”
“Well, premium members receive bills per half hour,” he explains. “More bang for your buck.”
“Quite literally," you mumble. "And what’s a premium subscription get you?”
“Didn’t you check out the website before calling?”
“I told you I stumbled out of my cab and called the number on my napkin, Levi,” you chide. “I didn’t exactly do my research in my sexually frustrated state.”
“Fair, can’t blame you there.”
There’s something of a grunt on the other end, like he’s stretching his arms over his head.
Maybe he’s sitting in an office chair, too, going through the motions of his profession the same way the Petra lady had been.
You keep wanting to imagine what he’s doing on the other line, but you realize you haven’t asked the titular question yet.
“Hey, Levi?”
“Yeah, baby?”
It’s breathy, a roll of thunder in his tongue.
Instead of an office chair, you imagine a man lying on his bed.
Maybe his tie is half-done, hanging loosely around his neck.
Button-down open, exposing the planes of his chest; dress trousers unbuttoned and loose around his hips, so he can easily slide a hand—
Whoa.
You stop walking back to your bedroom and blink twice. “Oh, so you like pet names.”
Your face, in miraculous humiliation, grows another degree hotter at how amused he sounds with himself. “I never said that.”
“Sure,” Levi replies with a smirk to the concession. “What is it, Scarlet?”
(Maybe you’ll permanently change your name to Scarlet after tonight if it sounds this good on a man’s lips.)
You finally unzip the side of your dress and wiggle out, before finding a cozy spot in the middle of your mattress.
“How much time do I have left on this freebie?”
“Approximately three minutes.”
Time flies when you’re too busy gawking over someone’s voice, apparently.
“Can I ask what you look like?” you finally decide, playing along.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to ask,” Levi responds, returning to that same seductive tone he’d used when he first picked up the line. “Black hair, guess it’s a little shaggier than usual. Undercut.”
You squint to your ceiling. “I’m thinking of Dimitri from Anastasia right now but with black hair.”
“I have no idea what that is.”
“You’ve seriously never seen Anastasia?”
“It’s a movie?”
“Oh my god, Levi, I’m so sorry for your childhood.”
“It’s an animated movie?” he scoffs. “Even worse.”
“You wound me,” you joke, pressing a hand over the cup of your beige bra. “What color are your eyes?”
“A gray-ish blue,” he tells you. “Sharp nose. High cheekbones. I’m a daily gym go-er, so I’m mostly lean muscle. I can probably pick you up, easily.”
So a fit man with an undercut hairstyle with gray-blue eyes and a relatively sharp face. 
Now you have a face to the image of a man lying on his bed, still in that button-down shirt and dress trousers.
His happy trail is probably dark, too, disappearing just under the waistband of his boxer briefs.
Or boxers?
Maybe nothing.
Your hand moves on its own accord to the waistband of your panties, toying with the fabric.
Contemplating.
Wondering if it’s wrong — when it really shouldn’t be wrong at all.
“You sound handsome,” you murmur. “I wouldn’t mind being picked up.”
“Wouldn’t be the only thing I’d do to you,” he flippantly states, and your brain blanks to pure putty. “You sound a little more winded than before. Doing alright over there, party animal?”
“It’s late,” you lie even when you damn well know you don’t have to lie. “Lots of drinking, first water of the night, lying down…”
“Better make it two waters before you fall asleep,” Levi states. “That’s an order, Scarlet.”
“Uh-huh.”
Your hand dips under your underwear, testing the waters.
But—
“Final sixty seconds,” he adds. “Any last words you want to get in before the line disconnects?”
“Only one minute left?” you protest, ripping your hand out of your underwear to pull the phone away from your ear.
14:02
So it really had been a fifteen-minute call.
God damnit.
Tapping the speaker icon once more, you stare at your phone and press your tongue against the inside of your cheek.
“What’s your extension?”
Because you have to know.
Even if you don’t call again, it’s a comfort to have it on hand.
Levi waits a moment before responding.
“Two-five-one-two.”
2512.
You swipe away from the call to quickly pull up your notes app, tapping the number down with a noted reminder: the guy with the hot voice!
“Are you going to call me again, Scarlet?”
You open your mouth, but you struggle with an answer.
(You only have a few seconds! Think, idiot, think!)
“I’m not sure if—”
Click.
“Hello? Levi?”
“Thank you for calling the Scout Services Hotline. Please stay on the line for a quick two-minute survey so we can better serve your fantasies in the future.”
Out of time.
You drop your phone to your stomach and groan.
Instead of calling back, you close your eyes — and, not before long, fall asleep to a dream of only one voice.
.
.
— —
.
.
    Saturday is a wash.
You wake late, missing an invitation to brunch.
For the better half of the day, you wonder about him.
Levi.
Your arbitrary match that doesn't feel so arbitrary anymore.
(It's placebo effect, you tell yourself. They're supposed to make you feel wanted.)
Punishing yourself for your excessive liquor and stupid plans, you trudge to your local gym and do your best to stay focused on your workout.
Every nameless person with dark hair that walks past you on the sidewalk from your apartment; anyone could be him.
The man waiting in line at the coffee shop.
The man who accidentally walked into you while you were switching the song on your playlist at the crosswalk.
The man weight training in the corner of the room, fringe cascading down his face as he drips sweat.
You keep the napkin in your gym bag, then transfer it to your purse as you run errands.
You could call.
It isn’t like you’re strapped for cash at the moment.
Granted it’s very wish fulfillment and it isn’t like he’s actually into you, but the attention is nice.
Besides — you haven’t thought of your ex once since you woke up.
Annie texts you twice within ten minutes of each message, which is unheard for her.
 [A. LEONHART]: So? Did you call?
[A. LEONHART]: Hello, earth to moron. At least like my message to tell me you’re alive. I’m not being interviewed by Dateline for you.
(Ah, there she is. Classic Annie.)
 [YOU]: Yeah, I called. Not sure if it’s my thing.
[A. LEONHART]: Sometimes they match you with a dud. 2nd time’s the charm ;)
[YOU]: Do you ever use someone’s extension?
[A. LEONHART]: Duh. I’m a regular of one guy.
Okay, so she talks to a guy. Something grips your stomach as you type your reply.
 [YOU]: Can I ask his name?
[A. LEONHART]: Why, so we don’t eiffel tower this?
[YOU]: jfc annie
[A. LEONHART]: lmao his name is Bert
    So not Levi.
For some odd reason, you breathe a sigh of relief as you close out of your messages.
Maybe you're one of a million, but at least you're not sharing with Annie.
Once you return home from your errands, it's close to dinnertime.
You cook something simple for yourself, occasionally glancing over at your purse like you can x-ray vision through the fabric to see the napkin.
Then again, it isn’t like you actually need the napkin.
The number is already in your phone.
Pulling out your device, you set it on the kitchen counter and draw a slow, calculative inhale.
One more call can’t hurt.
Levi may not even be working.
Hell, he could be talking to someone else. 
A regular.
Several regulars.
For over five minutes you stare down at your most recent calls list, willing yourself to just get brave for one second to press the button.
(It isn’t like Porco’s going to call you.)
The soured thought propels your hand without thinking, fingertip pressing the green phone icon faster than you can think. 
You brace for the ringtone, fists balled tight on the cool kitchen surface.
“Thank you for calling the Scout Services Hotline. You’re only a dial away from your wildest fantasies with the sexiest singles near your area. If you already know your match’s extension, press one.”
You continue staring.
Are you really doing this?
It isn’t like it means anything, which is exactly what you need with the upcoming work week.
A distraction.
A very expensive distraction, but hey — you’ll avoid takeout for a few weeks.
How bad can it get?
“If you’re looking for someone specific —”
You press one.
.
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Author's Note:
Thank you for reading part one of my zany little 'Sleepless in Seattle' modern au! This has been a bluesky idea for a while now, and I needed a little reprieve from my other angsty Levi longfic silver underground, so I hope you enjoyed the ride.
There will be actual smut in part two, but as a Reader!Writer I had the thought of 'would I be suave enough to do the first phone call flawlessly or totally waste my free coupon'? and this chapter was born, lol. I promise this is not Porco slander.
Thank you for likes, and even more love to those who choose to reblog this to help spread the word of this new series or reply in the comments. ilu xo
339 notes · View notes
marzipanandminutiae · 2 years
Text
articles about the “wild new trend” of piercing from the late ‘50s and early ‘60s are fascinating to read. a selection of excerpts:
- one doctor cautioned that girls with pierced ears would be “required to constantly wear earrings to hide the holes in their heads” (or you could just not be weird about a tiny dot on someone else’s earlobe?)
- Genevieve Dariaux, then director of the Nina Ricci couture house, said in 1965 that “Pierced ears are unthinkable for an elegant woman, and even more dreadful for a young girl.” bear in mind that, as I’ve said, earrings that made your ears LOOK pierced were still common. what the difference was, nobody has yet made plain
- lots of evidence that going to a doctor was the preferred “safe” method for piercing at the time. but many doctors refused to do it, or said they would but that they strongly discouraged patients from having the procedure done. this checks out with my mother’s experience in 1965- her schoolmate’s anesthesiologist father did free piercing for all his daughter’s friends
- some teenagers around 1965 called clip and screwback earrings “chicken earrings” (implying that the wearers were too scared of pain to get their ears pierced, I think)
- one advice column, also from 1965, implied that pierced ears were just a passing fad. the previous several centuries of western history would like a word, Mx. Columnist...
- A GIRL WITH RESTRICTIVE PARENTS BRINGING UP THE ARGUMENT THAT HER GRANDMOTHER HAD PIERCED EARS. YES. FINALLY SOMEONE REALIZED THE LOGICAL FALLACIES HERE. the argument against that is, indeed, a sort of “that was the Bad Old Days and we know better now” deal as some other commenters have hypothesized
- one article mentions that the trend could be part of the Victorian revival that was just becoming popular in the mid-60s, which is a fascinating thought I’ve never considered before
- many doctors complaining that they were suddenly being called upon to pierce ears despite not really knowing how. this is interesting, because before the Great Ear-Piercing Taboo, jewelers offering piercing services were more like modern piercers than Claire’s employees (and doctors weren’t involved at all unless an infection set in). descriptions I’ve read of Victorian piercer-jewelers mention a lot of things we’re familiar with today- needles designed with a hollow for inserting the starter jewelry, for example, and even “freezing” solutions to numb the earlobe. so in those early resurgence days, going to a long-established jewelry store for your piercing might actually have been a better option than a doctor’s office
- two young women in a 1964 Canadian article (from Calgary) mention that they think screwback earrings look cheap and gaudy, and the pierced version is more conservative and tasteful, in an interesting reversal of mainstream thought
- a newspaper columnist saying pierced ears give him “the wim-wams,” so they are to be avoided. whatever the hell that means
- a LOT of people seem to think that ear piercing was popular in the Victorian era because wealthy women didn’t want to lose their expensive jewelry. sorry folks- my collection of Victorian costume earrings (all pierced) says otherwise
- much confusion as to why modern girls want to do something so old-fashioned
- one woman marvels at how comfortable it is to wear earrings in pierced ears, as opposed to clips and screwbacks. I feel infinitely blessed, as an earring-lover, to have been born when I could escape the scourge of ear-vises altogether
- apparently an eccentric elderly man on Salt Spring Island, British Columbia, literally bribed all the women of the community to pierce their ears because he liked the way it looked. one of them mentioned that she held out for $25- $244 CAD or $188 USD in today’s money. all because some rich Victwardian codger had a very specific fetish
- this absolutely incredible response of an Indian diplomat’s wife when asked, in New York, why she wore a diamond nose stud: “Because I feel [diamonds] become me more than rubies or emeralds.” QUEEN
- “when the fad changes, as it indubitably will-” are you certain of that, ma’am
11K notes · View notes
appocalipse · 5 months
Note
Congrats! How huge! Can I shop?! 🛍️
There's an antique lock and key set and a pair of velvet gloves that look like they have my name written all over them (or a smutty friends to lovers with Steve Harrington where maybe we're partners in a game - drinking game at a rager, yard game at a bbq, board game on a game night, chicken at the pool party...I'm not picky - and celebrating our winning streak gets...a little out of hand 😉😉)
thank you, angel ♥ i got more than a little carried away with this one lol 6.4k words | cw: fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex 18+ only! mdni! literally the smuttiest smut that ever smutted
amy's flea market ♥
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"Ready?" Steve asks.
No. Fuck, no.
“Yeah,” you respond. Steve smiles that almost evil smile of his and dives down so you can climb onto his shoulders. Again. You can't believe you're doing this again.
It's the third round of chicken fighting that you and Steve are participating in, and as you climb onto Steve's shoulders, you try not to think that you're climbing onto Steve's shoulders.
Steve. Your friend Steve. The guy you have the world's biggest crush on...no, fuck that. It's more. You know it's more, but you're afraid to admit the stronger word.
Because Steve is Steve. He's off limits.
Which doesn't make it any easier for you to try not to think about the way his big, warm hands are now on your thighs, holding on tight so you don't fall off his shoulders, where you're sitting in nothing but a bikini, his head between your legs...
"1, 2,3...go!" Robin yells, sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water. You raise your arms as the team in front of you advances, the girl's arms stretched in hopes of pushing you off Steve.
But you and Steve are, apparently, invincible today.
It happens faster this time; next thing you know, the girl's grip slips, and you are the one who ends up pushing her into the water, her partner also losing his balance in the process. They laugh and the crowd — including Robin — goes wild. The adrenaline surges through your veins as you realize you've won. Again. Steve keeps you up there for one more moment, just so you can throw your arms in the air, giggling, enjoying your third victory in a row. Then, he carefully lowers you down into the water. 
When he emerges again, wet hair sticking to his forehead, he's grinning at you as he grabs your wrist, making you raise your arm one more for the crowd.
You giggle.
Steve sighs. It's that laugh of yours, the one that makes his heart skip a beat every time. 
"I think that's enough for today," you say, lowering your arm and grinning up at him, a bit dizzy from the adrenaline of the victory and the heat of the sun on your skin. 
Steve suddenly feels dizzy too, for a completely different reason.
He unsuspectingly watches as a fat drop of water travels down your lower lip, to your chin, your neck... and then you turn around, moving in the direction of the pool ladder. Against his better judgment, he follows.
Once out of the pool, you look around. 
"D'you want me to grab a clean towel for you?" Steve offers, ever the gentleman.
"Towel, yeah, that would be great..." you murmur, feeling ten times more self-conscious now that the two of you are out of the water. You don't even know most of the people here… "Can I come with you?"
Steve coughs.
The pool party had started earlier that day. The only clean towels remaining in that house now are in his bathroom. 
In his room.
And you're all wet.
For God's sake. That's the last place where he should be alone with you right now. 
But, like an idiot, Steve nods, "Sure, let's go." 
He leads you through the living room, past a group of people who are sitting on the floor, drinking and laughing, to the stairs, taking them two at a time. You're a little out of breath, but manage to keep up with his long strides until he reaches the top. The hallway up here is a lot dimmer, but you can still see the soft, warm sunlight coming from beneath his bedroom door. It's strange how you've never been in his room before. Countless times in his house, sure, but never his room.
Steve clears his throat and then opens the door, stepping aside to let you enter first. 
It's... not what you expected. It's not messy like the stereotypical rich boy's room, but it's not pristine either. It's neat, orderly, but... lived in. There's a king-sized bed in the center of the room, covered with a duvet that looks like it's been slept in. A small nightstand on each side of the bed, with a lamp and a few framed photos on top — you're even in some of them with him and the kids. The walls are painted a soft, warm blue, and there's a big window next to the bed, letting in the bright sunlight.
The air smells like... like him. Like soap and hairspray.
Steve clears his throat, drawing your attention back to him. He's still shirtless, so it's not like that's hard to do. "Here, take this," he says, tossing a towel in your direction. You catch it reflexively, feeling the softness of the fabric against your bare skin.
"Thanks," you murmur, rubbing your hair with it. 
The sound of laughter from downstairs seeps in through the partly open window. Steve is standing on the other side of the room, a towel loosely draped around his neck, and maybe it's that mysterious drink Robin offered you earlier making you imagine things, but there's a strange tension in the air and you're under the distinct impression that Steve is consciously avoiding you as you dry off.
You wonder what he's thinking. 
Steve clears his throat again, seeming to steel himself for something. "Um... I'm gonna go grab a drink. You... you want one?" he asks, not quite meeting your eye.
"Sure. And...can you get my dress? I left it downstairs earlier."
Steve nods, turning away from you so fast you almost wonder if he's mad. He disappears into the hallway, and you hear the click of the door being closed behind him, followed by the distant sound of footsteps as he makes his way downstairs.
Left alone in his room, you wander over to the bed and sit down on the edge, now wrapped in your towel. The duvet is soft against your bare skin, and the pillows smell like him. You can't help but wonder what it would be like to curl up here with him, to feel his warmth surround you as you drift off to sleep.
Probably not the kind of thought you should have in your friend's room.
The door opens again, and Steve steps back in, two glasses of something clear and fizzy in his hand. "Here you go," he says, handing you one of them. You take the drink gratefully, sniffing at it before taking a sip. It's some kind of spritzer, sweet and tangy. "And here's your dress."
It's draped over the curve of his arm. Steve sets his own drink on the nightstand before sitting down on the bed beside you, extending his arm so you could take the dress.
You do take it, but make no move to put it on. "I didn't know you were that good at chicken fighting," you say, trying to make it sound light-hearted.
Steve smiles. "Pretty sure it was all you."
"Of course not," you playfully nudge him. "We're a team."
He looks at you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, he reaches for his drink and takes a generous sip. "Yeah, a team," he repeats softly.
"What?"
"Nothing."
He studies you for a moment, taking another sip of his drink. The silence stretches between you. You wish you knew what was going through his mind, if he was feeling the same things you were.
"It is something," you quietly insist.
Steve looks at you, his eyes flickering uncertainly. "I don't know what you mean," he says finally, but there's a catch in his voice that betrays him, a hint of vulnerability that you've never heard before.
You stand up. He looks at you like you had just slapped him. 
"I'm still wet," you explain. Then, way too quickly for your embarrassment to go unnoticed, you add, "from the pool, I mean! Not...I don't want to make a mess of your bed or anything, you know...I mean, by sitting there while I'm wearing a wet bikini and-"
Steve cuts you off with a laugh. "Hey, hey," he says, reaching out to take your hand. "It's okay. You're fine. You can sit here." He squeezes your hand gently, and there's a warmth in his touch that sends a shiver through you. "And if you did make a mess, I'd clean it up. No worries."
You sit down again. Better than awkwardly standing there. 
"Very gentlemanly of you," you murmur, a small smile tugging at your lips.
Steve shrugs, returning your smile. "I'm not that bad, am I?" he asks, his voice teasing.
"The worst. But you're a good partner in chicken fighting, though."
Steve swallows hard.
"Just that?"
There is a moment of silence, as you and Steve stare at each other. You know exactly what he means, what's behind that question, behind the look he's giving you right now, studying your face like it's the first time he's seeing it. At least...you think you know. 
He puts his glass aside again. You open your mouth to say something, but he's faster.
"I need to go."
"Wait-"
He doesn't wait. Steve is on his feet in a second, almost at the door in two. 
But you, somehow supernaturally faster…you grab his wrist. You grab his wrist with both hands and oh God, Steve's not quite sure what to do with you now. He doesn't respond, doesn't move. You tug at his arm, wanting him to turn around, look at you. He doesn't.
"Steve."
His name feels like a whisper on your lips. It's not loud, but it's urgent. 
Steve is having a hard time remembering why he's supposed to keep his distance from you. He turns around to look at you, your hand slipping down to his, still not letting him go…and he realizes it was a bad idea.
The desperation in your eyes mirrors his own, and before he knows what he's doing, Steve is leaning in, hands grabbing your face, mouth finding yours, lips parting. 
He's not gentle, not soft. 
You moan into the kiss and Steve kicks the door closed without looking, his hands finding your waist as you cling to his neck, the towel falling at your feet. Your lips part and he slips inside, tasting you, feeling the warmth of your breath on his skin as you gasp, stumbling back as he pushes forward.
The bed is soft but cold beneath you as you land, Steve on top of you, pinning you down."God," he groans into your neck. "Sorry."
You giggle. "God, sorry?"
He groans in reply, lips moving against your neck as he continues to kiss his way down your collarbone. "I mean it," he whispers, his voice hoarse with desire. "I shouldn't be doing this."
"M' not...complaining."
Steve laughs roughly into your skin, pressing his lips to the dip between your breasts and finally looking up into your eyes. He pauses for a moment, searching for something there. You can see the uncertainty in his expression, the fear of losing control, of what will happen if he really lets go.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No," you say automatically.
He chuckles at your answer, a soft, low sound that vibrates through your chest. "You're sure?" he whispers, leaning in to kiss you again, this time softer, slower. "Because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to take advantage of you."
"How could you possibly take advantage of me?" you ask, sounding almost annoyed.
Steve smiles. "I don't know. I just..." He trails off, pressing a quick kiss to your chin. "I just want this to be right."
You can feel his hesitation, his worry, but you don't want to push him away. You reach up, gently cupping his cheek, and look into his eyes. "I want to."
"You want to?"
"Yes."
There's a moment where the weight of what you've just said seems to press down on Steve, making him pause. He looks into your eyes, searching for any sign of doubt or fear, but finds only the truth. He exhales shakily, looking like it takes every ounce of his self-control to do so. "Tell me you're not drunk."
You reach up, tracing his jawline with your fingers. "I'm not drunk."
"Fuck..." he mutters, trying to concentrate as you trail your fingers down his neck, over his collarbone. "Really? Don't lie to me."
You smile, shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm not drunk," you repeat. "I had like…two drinks. Are you drunk?"
Steve laughs, a choked-up sound. "I've had more than that," he admits. "But I'm…I'm okay." He looks at you for a long moment, like he's trying to commit your face to memory, just in case. Then he leans in, kissing you softly, his lips moving against yours with a tenderness that belies his earlier urgency. "But even if I were drunk, you're welcome to take advantage of me anytime."
You smile against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'll keep that in mind," you whisper, feeling a rush of affection for him. Steve groans into the kiss, pressing your back against the mattress as his hips move between your legs. His skin feels hot against yours, his muscles tense, and with nothing but the thin fabric of your bikini bottom and his swim trunks between you, there's little left for the imagination.
"Steve," you breathe out as he kisses his way down your neck, nipping at your skin with his teeth. His name feels heavy in your mouth, like you've been holding it there for years and it's finally been given the chance to be spoken. "Steve…"
"You keep saying my name like that and I'm going to lose it."
You feel the wet heat of his mouth as he kisses his way back down your neck, over your collarbone. His fingers are patient, too patient as they trail up your sides, over your ribs, stopping just shy of your breasts like he's afraid he'll go too far, too fast, too soon.
"Can I-"
"Yes."
His laughter is soft as he pulls back to look at you, eyes half-lidded and mouth slightly parted. He brushes a strand of wet hair away from your face, tracing the line of your jaw with his thumb. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
"What were you going to say?"
He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "Something about wanting you. About how I can't believe I'm finally here with you." His fingers drift lower, tracing the curve of your neck before one hooks playfully under the delicate string of your bikini top. "I was going to ask if I could touch you."
You nod, feeling the anticipation building inside you. "Yes," you breathe, arching into his touch. "Please."
His smile is slow, almost wicked. He lets go of the string and instead cups your breast, thumb tracing the hardening peak of your nipple through the thin fabric of your top. Your back arches further, and a soft moan escapes your lips as his fingers find purchase and squeeze. He pulls back slightly, watching as you close your eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly. "Is this okay?" he whispers, tracing a circle around your nipple with his finger.
"Yes," you manage to choke out.
Steve hums in understanding, his touch growing more confident as he cups your breast in his hand, squeezing gently before circling your nipple with his thumb. The sensation is almost too much, making your hips twitch against his as you arch further into the touch. 
He wonders for a moment if he should take it further, if he should untie the knot and push the bikini top down, revealing your breasts to his touch...would you be okay with that? Or should he keep going, teasing you until you beg? His eyes flicker down to your lips, watching as they part slightly with each shallow breath, how your tongue darts out to wet them. 
You're so beautiful, he thinks, almost dizzy from the sight of you.
He can feel the warmth between his legs, the insistent pressure as his cock strains against the fabric of his trunks. You'll be the death of him, he's certain. He's already so fucking hard and you're not even naked yet.
He leans in, lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "Can I?" 
He kisses your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder. And then his fingers slide lower, tracing the line of your stomach, pausing at your navel… 
"Can I touch you here?"
The feel of his fingers tracing the line of your stomach, so close to where you ache for him to touch, is almost too much to bear. You chuckle as you arch your back, offering him more of your skin, more of yourself, then grabbing his wrist when he doesn't seem convinced, guiding his hand lower. 
"Please," grinning, you run your fingers through his hair with your free hand, feeling the dampness there as it clings to the strands, "stop asking."
He smiles against your skin, his fingers finding the soft, warm skin of your inner thigh, tracing up and down, so close to where you're aching for him. "You're sure?" he whispers, his voice low and teasing. "You're sure you want this?"
"Steve Harrington, you-"
But you can't even finish the sentence before he's kissing you, his mouth warm and wet and demanding as his fingers finally slip between your legs, sliding beneath the thin scrap of fabric and you gasp into his mouth, arching into his touch, forgetting whatever insult you were going to say.
You feel the rough pad of his index finger against your clit, and then he's pressing, circling, teasing.
"Fuck."
"You're so wet," he breathes, watching your face. "So fucking wet for me, honey, God," His fingers move faster, his touch more demanding as he presses deeper, finding your entrance and circling, circling, wanting to push inside. 
You grip the back of his head, your other hand clutching at the duvet beneath you, your hips arching off the bed as his fingers move in a blissful, insistent rhythm. It's been so long since anyone has touched you like this, since you've felt this kind of need and desire, but this…this is even better than you could have imagined. This is Steve, your Steve.
"I want you inside me," you pant before you can think twice about it, your words breathless and urgent. "Please."
Steve hums, his fingers still working their magic as he leans forward, kissing your neck, your shoulder, your collarbone. "I want that too," he whispers, and then he's pushing the bikini bottoms aside, throwing them across the room, revealing your wet, aching folds to his gaze, moving to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses down your stomach, over your hip, and finally to the juncture of your thighs. 
Shit. He parts your legs with his shoulders, bending his knees to kneel between them. "Let me make you come first."
With...his mouth?
You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at his face, more than a little self-conscious now. "Wait, but you...you're gonna...?"
He wraps his arms around your hips, holding you still as he leans in, his breath warm against your exposed skin. Curiously, he asks, "You don't want me to?"
You shake your head; no, of course you do. But the idea of him going down on you...it's so intimate. So much more than just having sex. "I just..."
He looks up at you, and there's something in his eyes that makes you forget whatever you were about to say. Something that makes you feel safe and wanted and desired. "You just...?" he whispers, his lips brushing against the soft skin of your inner thigh.
It's hard to concentrate when he does that. You squirm a little, but his hold on you is surprisingly firm.
"I just..." You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I just haven't had anyone do that for me in a really long time." It's true; the last time you can remember was with a boyfriend years ago, and even then it was more of a "be polite" thing than anything else. But with Steve...it feels different. "Do you *really* want to? Because you don't have to if-"
You feel him smile against your skin as he continues to gently kiss his way up your thigh. "I want to," he whispers, and the way he says it, the sincerity in his voice, makes you believe him. "I really want to. But, um…only if you want it too."
You open your eyes, watching as he looks up at you, waiting for your answer. He looks so hopeful, so eager. If he wants this, if he wants to make you feel this good...how can you say no?
With a shaky breath, you nod, your fingers threading through his hair. "Okay," you whisper. "Okay."
Steve hums in satisfaction. You feel a shiver run down your spine as he slowly pulls your legs wider apart, resting his elbows on the bed as he leans in closer, his hot breath fanning across your folds. His hands grip your hips, holding you steady as he gazes up at you, watching your reaction, almost daring you to tell him to stop. 
You watch, mesmerized, as he tilts his head, licking his lips before he leans in, pressing a gentle, open-mouthed kiss to the very center of you. 
Boy... does he know what he's doing.
Your eyes flutter shut as he begins to lick and suck, his tongue dancing over your most sensitive skin, his fingers curling into the flesh of your hips, urging you to arch into his touch. You gasp, feeling your whole body tense, your hands tangled in his hair, your nails almost digging into his scalp. He moans, his breath hot against you, and you realize he's watching your reactions, taking cues from your body. 
"Good?" he asks, as if you're not already on the verge of coming. 
But you can't answer, can't form a coherent thought, let alone a word. So you nod.  Frantically so, head thumping against the mattress. He smiles against your skin like he's won some sort of prize, and then you feel the slip of his fingers, two of them easily sliding inside you, tight but wet enough to be ready. You cry out, his name a desperate plea falling off your lips as he thrusts his fingers deeper, curling them up to find just the right spot. 
"Oh, God..." you moan, your hips bucking up against his hand. "Steve..." Your fingernails dig into the duvet, your back arching as he expertly works his fingers inside you.
Steve seems to sense that you're getting close, the way your hips are moving erratically against his hand, the way your breath is coming in short, ragged gasps. He looks up at you for a moment as if to gauge your reaction, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. He keeps his fingers exactly where they are while he leans up over your body to kiss you, propping himself up on one elbow.
"You taste so good," his voice is a whisper against your lips as they part beneath his. "So wet. God, I want to feel you around me." 
"Yes, please."
Your enthusiasm makes Steve grin against your lips. "Please?" he muses. He's hard, of course he is hard in his swim trunks, cock straining against the fabric as it leans against your thigh. But he doesn't want to rush this. Not with you.
"Steve," you admonish, sliding your hands up his arms.
His fingers are still moving, but more slowly now, less urgent. It's almost as if he's teasing you, drawing this out. Your hips rock up against his hand, and you feel a surge of wetness between your legs as you arch your back, seeking more contact. His lips find yours again, tongue sliding against yours as he thrusts his fingers deeper, curling them to hit just the right spot. You moan into the kiss, your body trembling as the pleasure builds, your fingers tangled in his hair.
"Oh God," you say in a shaky voice. "Steve, please..."
He groans against your lips, curling his fingers deeper inside you, searching. "Please what?" he whispers as he kisses along your jaw, teasing, not mean, never mean, but drawing it out just a little bit more.
In lieu of an answer, you find yourself arching your back in a desperate manner. His fingers brush against something deep inside you, something that has you gasping and tightening around him, close too close. His fingers find the rhythm you've been craving, your orgasm building, building, building.
"That's it," he whispers against your neck, his own breath hot and uneven. "That's it, baby."
And you do. It's unlike anything you've ever felt before, a rush of pleasure so intense it makes your vision blur, your skin warm all over. 
Steve, watching your expression as you come apart beneath his touch, feels the warmth of your release coat his fingers, the tightness of your body around them. God. It's a heady sensation, knowing that he can make you feel this way.
His fingers are slick with your wetness as he pulls them free and gently pushes you back onto the bed. You're lying flat on your back again, and he's grinning as he looks down at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
"You're...very good at this," your voice is a breathy whisper as you glance up at him, a flush rising in your cheeks. You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him down for a gentle kiss. Steve's skin is warm beneath your fingertips, his kiss featherlight soft against your lips. "Do you want-"
"Yes," he cuts you off with a husky laugh, leaning down to nip at your neck. "If you do," His hand finds the string of your bikini top, finger following along it all the way up to the bow. With a practiced flick, he undoes it but doesn't yet pull the fabric away, watching your eyes as he lets the knot slide free, half expecting you to tell him to stop. You don't, though. You watch him, your chest rising and falling with every breath, and something in his chest aches at the sight.
"You can take it off," you reassure, feeling a blush creep up your neck. "It's just me." 
You hope that comes across as playful and confident, but maybe you don't seem so convincing when you're still a little breathless, a little sensitive, so you decide to take matters into your own hands and reach up, fingers shaking only a little, to pull the cups of your bikini top down and away from your chest. 
Steve watches you, his expression somewhere between adoration and awe as you reveal yourself to him like a fucking gift unwrapped. 
"You're unreal," he breathes. "You're so..."
When he reaches out to touch, just the very tips of his fingers brushing against the sensitive flesh, you try to encourage him by arching into the contact.
"So fucking beautiful," he whispers, leaning down to kiss your collarbone. "I can't get enough of you." 
His hands slide down your sides, over the smooth skin of your hips, and then lower still, cupping your ass. He pulls you closer, pressing your body against his, slowly grinding against you. "Do you want..." he tries, an urgent edge creeping into his voice. "Do you want me inside you?"
Steve looks like he's about to explode at the mere suggestion, his expression a mixture of raw desire and aching need. You're about to reply when he nips at your neck, his teeth grazing the skin there. You momentarily lose your words.
"You're killing me," he half groans, half laughs, his hips moving harder against yours as he pushes himself as close to you as he possibly can. You can feel him through the thin fabric of his swim trunks, hard and insistent, and you're sure it wouldn't take much more of this teasing before he loses control completely. "Just say the word," he whispers, kissing along the line of your jaw, "and I'll give you anything you want."
"Can I...can I touch you?"
You feel Steve stiffen at your request at first, his body tensing beneath your fingers. "Of course you can," he breathes, a shudder working its way through him. "You can do whatever you want, baby."
You reach down, fingers shaky in your eagerness to please. You grasp the hem of his trunk and tug gently, almost hesitant, but he's already cooperating, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor without so much as a second thought.
"Oh,"  you breathe, eyes widening as you take in the sight of him, naked and perfect in front of you. Steve's cock is already hard, a bead of pre-cum glistening at the tip, and you can't help but reach out and touch it, tentatively at first, but then more confidently, wrapping your fingers around the base of him and waiting to gauge his reaction.
"Oh, fuck," he moans, closing his eyes as you stroke him. "That feels...that's so good."
Your fingers feel warm and soft around him, and with each gentle stroke, he feels himself growing harder and harder, unable to contain the pleasure building inside of him. He opens his eyes to look down at you, watching your expression as you touch him, your focus solely on the way your fingers slide up and down his length.
Before you can get too carried away, though, Steve's hands are grabbing yours, guiding them away from his cock rather urgently. "If you want me inside you," he pants, a strained smile tugging at his lips, "you're going to have to stop that." His voice is a little shaky, a little rough, and you can tell he's struggling to keep himself in check.
You grin up at him. "I...do want that."
Steve's answering smile is a little more confident now, and he leans forward, brushing the pad of his index finger across your lips, tracing the shape of your bottom lip as he does so. "I think you've had enough teasing today," he whispers, hand moving to cup your neck, his thumb rubbing gently over your pulse point. "You really want this?"
"Yes," you breathe, unable to keep the word from slipping past your lips. "Yeah, I do."
Steve's thumb continues to trace circles around your pulse point as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. His kiss starts gentle, a mere brush of his mouth against yours, "Yeah? Can I?" sliding his hand down your stomach, between your legs, he adds, "Fuck, yeah, you're...you're wet enough."
You gasp into his kiss as he brushes his fingers against you. "Yeah," you moan, arching your hips up into his touch, with a grin, "Yeah, I am, I...you're gonna make me beg or something, huh?"
"I'd never make you beg for anything, sweetheart."
His fingers move in a slow circle, spreading your wetness around your entrance, making sure you're as ready for him as you can be.
You reach up, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pull him closer as he begins to shift between your legs, his hand coming back up to gently guide himself towards your entrance, and then he looks down at you, searching your eyes for some sign, some reassurance, before he's pushing inside, slowly, gently, taking his time to ease his way into you. 
You gasp at the feeling of being stretched, filled, but at the same time it's perfect, it's...right.
He leans forward, bracing himself on his arms, and watches as you arch your back, your lips parted in a silent moan. "More?" he whispers, his voice a rough rasp. "Should I...?"
"More," you breathe, meeting his eyes.
And Steve gives it to you. He slides deeper, pushing in farther, stretching you just enough to make you feel so full of him. You're tight and he's impatient, but he makes sure he doesn't rush, doesn't force it. You feel the muscles in his back and arms tensing as he fights against the urge to go harder, how much he wants to lose control and just fuck you into the mattress.
He takes you like he's been dreaming of it for years, like he's never going to get the chance to feel you like this again. Slowly.
"Steve," his name rolls off your tongue like a sigh the moment he's all the way inside you, your muscles clenching around him in an attempt to hold him close. 
He tries to remember how to breathe, pressing his lips to your shoulder. He feels you squeeze around him and muffles a sound between a moan and a growl against your skin, "Can I move?"
"Yes, I...yes."
He pulls back slightly, just enough to adjust his angle, and then pushes back inside you. The sensation is almost too much, the way your body seems to fit so perfectly around him, the way your muscles clench and release, drawing him deeper still. Fuck. You're so wet that he can feel himself sliding easily in and out of you. The sounds of your skin slapping against his is a perfect counterpoint to the gasping, keening noises you're making into his shoulder.
He knows he won't last half as much as he'd like if you keep that up.
"God, that's it," he growls, the words lost in the movement of his hips against yours. "Tell me how it feels, sweetheart." One of his hands slides down between your bodies, cupping your aching clit, rubbing in a tight circle as he thrusts into you. The sensation is overwhelming, too much and not nearly enough all at once.
Your legs twist, one hooking behind his back for leverage, and you arch into his touch, your nails digging into his shoulders as you feel the tension building, the familiar tightness coiling in your core. "So good," you moan, thrusting your hips up to meet his, wanting more of that friction, more of his skin against yours. "Can you go...faster, please?"
He's lost to the sensation of your body moving against his, the feel of you slick and hot and tight. He's close, so close, but he doesn't want this to be over yet. He pulls back slightly, only to slam back in harder, the head of his cock hitting the spot inside you that makes you arch your back and gasp.
His hand moves faster on your clit, circling and pressing, and you're so close now, so close, you can feel it building, making you shiver and writhe underneath him. Steve leans down, lips finding the skin of your neck, sucking and nipping as he thrusts harder, deeper, faster.
"Yes," you moan, arching into his touch, your nails digging into his shoulders. "Fuck, yes."
Steve lets his hand move from between your legs to the back of your knee, hooking it there, holding you open to him as his cock slides in and out of you with a harsh, wet sound. You feel so full of him, stretched and sore and aching in the best way possible. 
He's so close now, the tension in his body almost painful as he fights against the urge to come before you do. Steve watches your face as you writhe beneath him, lips parted and flushed, eyes glazed over in pleasure  like you can't quite focus. It's the most erotic thing he's ever seen. He doesn't want this to end. Being inside you like this, feeling the way you move against him...he doesn't think he'll ever get enough.
Your nails scrape down his back, leaving little red lines in their wake. Steve thinks he's going to lose it every time you do that.
"Fuck," he groans, the word caught in his throat as he thrusts harder into you. The sounds of your skin slapping against his makes it almost unbearable and he has to think of something else, anything else, to keep from coming. "Feels good, sweetheart?" he whispers, his hand moving between your legs again, this time finding your clit and rubbing in a steady, circular motion.
You arch into his touch, your hips moving in time with his thrusts. "So close," you moan, your voice shaking. "I...I..."
Steve feels the tension building inside you, knows that you're close. He watches your face, the way your eyes have almost rolled back in your head, the way your lips are parted and your breath coming in quick, shallow gasps. 
He leans down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing as pushes inside to the hilt, holding you there, feeling your body trembling beneath him. You cry out then, your back arching off the bed, and Steve feels you tighten and pulse around him, gripping him like a fist as you come. 
The sensation is almost too much, but he somehow manages to ask, "Can I come inside you?"
You nod, your eyes closed tightly, and he thrusts once, twice…then one last time, feeling himself spill inside you as he moans, body tensing and then relaxing, spent. 
Steve collapses on top of you without pulling out, sweaty bodies sticking together. He somehow finds the energy to kiss your shoulder, your neck, your ear, nibbling and sucking until you laugh, shifting beneath him.
"You're heavy," you tease, but you don't really mind. It feels right to have him pressed against you like this, his heart thumping against yours, his breath warm on your skin.
He chuckles, nuzzling deeper into the crook of your neck. "Sorry," he mumbles, before pulling himself up enough to look down at you. You're beautiful, even with your hair tangled and your lips swollen from his kisses. "Do you want to get cleaned up?" he asks, running a hand through his sweaty hair.
"I think I love you."
The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them, and for a moment, you're not sure if you should take them back. But then Steve's eyes widen, his lips part in surprise, and you know it's too late. You've said it.
"Sorry, I shouldn't...I mean, I-"
Steve cups your face in his hands, his eyes wide and serious. "I love you too," he says, his voice a little unsteady. "I have for a long time." 
He leans in, pressing his lips to yours gently, then more firmly, as if he's making sure this is real, that you feel it too. 
But you feel it too.
God, you feel it too.
525 notes · View notes
cevansbrat0007 · 5 months
Text
The Scent of You
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Summary: Ari loves the sweet scent of you, which is why he's content to live between your thighs.
Warnings: Smut, Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Begging, Oral Sex (fem rec), Pussy Spanking, Slight Chase Kink, Light D/s themes, Minors DNI
A/N: Written for @curls-and-eyeliner. Hopefully this is okay, ya'll. I'm honestly not sure if it worked the way I intended. Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
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It’s no secret that Ari adores you, but you’ve learned over the course of your relationship that he is particularly fond of the way you smell. Your natural essence of spiced, sugared vanilla draws him in like a moth to a flame. 
Which means he was always looking for a reason to touch you – to pull you close and breathe you in. Whether he’s hauling you against his broad chest to bury his nose in your hair while you’re cooking dinner, or he’s busy cascading soft, sweet kisses along the delicate column of your throat when you’re both snuggled up on the couch.
Your scent is like a drug. It calls to him – like a siren’s song – demanding that your handsome Bounty Hunter give in and help himself to his next hit. 
This man is hooked on you and it’s honestly one of the most exhilarating things you’ve ever experienced. Growing up, you’d never dreamed someone would desire you like this; that anyone would want you in such an all-consuming way.
“I’m going to burn the chicken if you don’t cut it out.” You hum, smiling when you feel his brawny arms tighten around your waist. “And then we won’t have anything to eat but mashed potatoes and asparagus.”
“Mm. Then maybe we’ll just have to order-in.” His warm lips dance along your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
“Beast.” You try again, intending to issue a light reprimand. Instead your voice comes out soft and breathy. 
“You can feed me my dessert while we wait.” Ari’s long, talented fingers travel to the waistband of your pink sleep shorts, lightly tugging at the drawstring. “Just think about it.” You briefly lose your train of thought as you find yourself trying to remember if you were even wearing panties. 
You’re pretty sure that you’d neglected to put them on again after your shower. At the time, you’d told yourself that you were trying to save yourself from having to make another trip to Victoria’s Secret. 
It wasn’t your fault that your Beast wasn’t always house-trained. He was the kind of man who had a propensity for ripping off your underthings and tucking them into his pocket. Which meant you often had to make adjustments to your wardrobe.       
And all of it because the scent of your arousal drove him wild.   
Your musings are interrupted when a sudden pop of grease splashes out of the cast iron skillet, just missing both you and your man. “Alright, hands to yourself now, Beast. We’re working around hot oil and I’d feel terrible if you got hurt.” 
Jesus H. Christ, you should’ve picked another day to fry this incorrigible man some chicken.
Ari nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck, gently nipping at your pulse point. “I just need a fix, baby. One little hit and I’ll be good for the rest of the night.”
“Ari…” You blow out an exasperated breath as you reach for your tongs to flip your meat. “You don’t even know if I’ve showered or not today.”
“Don’t care.” He grunts, one big hand reaching into your shorts to possessively cup your increasingly damp pussy. “You know I love how you smell. Almost as much as I love the way you taste.” Ari lips move on to kiss along the shell of your ear. A shudder courses through you when he tugs the sensitive load between his sharp teeth.
“I’m proud to wear my girl.”
Your thighs clench of their own accord, your empty walls clenching around nothing. Apparently your body was just as hungry for him as he was for you.
“Y–you can’t go around just saying things like that.” It comes out as a whimper as your cheeks heat, meanwhile Ari busies himself with grinding the heel of his lightly calloused palm against your already throbbing clit. 
“Why not, Duchess? Am I being too crass for you?” He teases as his free hand comes up to knead your breast, squeezing with just the amount of roughness he knew made your knees weak. “Turn that shit off and come feed me. I’ve been dying to get between those thighs all fuckin’ day.”
“But–but…” Your eyes flutter closed even as you reach for the knob that controls the burner, switching it off. Maybe he was right. You hated to waste this, but you could always try again another day.
Preferably on a night when your very persistent Beast was working late. 
“There we go. I knew my woman wasn’t the type to let me go hungry.” Ari murmurs, releasing his grip on your now very wet pussy in favor of tugging down your shorts. A growl rumbles deep in his throat as he watches them fall to the ground at your feet. “I knew you couldn’t be that mean.”
“You owe me chicken alfredo from Guiseppe’s, you animal.” You snarl, removing the pan from the heat. 
“Consider it done, baby.” You could tell without looking at him that he was obviously pleased with himself. 
God this man was an absolute menace. But he was yours, which meant you had to keep him. Hell, you were pretty sure that if you ever tried to put him up for adoption you were pretty sure he’d find his way home. 
Back to you. Wherever you were.
Feeling bold, you wiggle out of the Bounty Hunter’s grasp, only to be surprised when he lets you go. 
“Bet you can’t catch me.” You challenge, making a sudden dash for the stairs. 
Of course you knew he’d catch you. But sometimes you liked running from your Beast – because he was the type to always give chase which would only add spice to the proceedings.    
And just like you knew he’d be, your Bounty Hunter is on you before you reach the fourth step. A scream escapes you – but you both know it’s one of excitement. After all, Ari Levinson was every inch the predator. It’s why you lovingly referred to him as “your Beast”.
“Gotcha now, Duchess.” He hisses, a heady mix of exhilaration and pride coursing through his veins. And that’s when you finally notice the impressive tent hidden beneath the fabric of his light gray sweats. 
God, you had a feeling this man was gonna wreck you tonight. You just hoped you’d be able to walk in a straight line come tomorrow morning. 
Ari takes that moment to flip you over before gently maneuvering your body in such a way that allows you to slide down a couple of steps.
“Yeah, you caught me.” You breathe, your body aching for him. And then you part your thighs, feeling more than a little empowered when you notice the way his imperious gaze darkens with lust at the sight of your glistening cunt. “Now…what are you going to do with me?” 
Grabbing the edge of your nightshirt, you slowly pull it over your head, baring your breasts. If this man wanted you and was so willing to *ruin* your dinner for it, then who were you to deny him?   
Immediately, Ari buries his face between your slick covered thighs, his powerful hands coming up to quickly throw your legs over his muscled shoulders. A deep, satisfied groan of appreciation escapes his throat as he sucks your pulsing clit into his warm, waiting mouth.
“Holy shit!” You cry, burying your hands in his soft, chestnut strands. “Sir, please!” Your body begins to tremble as you’re treated to the most sensual of assaults.  
One thick finger gently prods at your entrance, seeking refuge in your slippery cunt. At the same time, you feel Ari release your sensitive bundle of nerves, content to lap at it with his wicked tongue.
“That's it now. Fuckin' drench me, Bird.” He orders softly, his voice coming out slightly muffled.
And then pauses he pauses again – this time to nuzzle his nose against your slippery folds. Your entire body quivers when he takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent and reveling in your wetness. 
“My fuckin’ pussy.” Ari snarls, his flat tongue dragging a long, greedy swipe along your cunt. “Mine.” He pulls away long enough to slap your core in silent demand.  
“Fuck yes!” You agree, eagerly rocking your hips in time with each delicious lash of his tongue. He swirls it over your little bundle of nerves, making your toes curl.
“Would wear you all day if you’d let me.” His nimble fingers begin to work you over, stretching you in the way he knew would make you crazy. “Proud to wear my girl.”
“Omigosh!Omigosh!Omigosh!” You wail, your velvety walls clenching around his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you. 
“Promise to always feed me when I need it, little Bird.” You feel his teeth lightly graze your clit once more, loving the way it makes you thrash and moan.
That’s right. This man was breaking you down on your living room stairs. And it was so good that you couldn’t even be bothered to make yourself give a proper fuck. 
Dear God, this was the most exquisite kind of pleasure.
“Don’t you dare let me starve.” His fingers curve inside you, expertly finding your spot.
Holy fucking shit your man was making one hell of compelling argument, as evidenced by sweet cries and your shaking legs. 
“Never.” Your thighs tighten around his head, threatening to smother him even as you gush around him. 
Just the way you knew he fucking loved.     
“There we go -- yeah, that’s it.” Ari rasps, smacking your right flank, reveling in the way you clench around him as you continue to ride his face. Meanwhile, you’re busy writhing in your man’s arms, trying not to escape his grasp as that familiar coil of pleasure begins to tighten in your belly.
You know he knows you’re close. So he picks up his pace, clearly enjoying the way you’re coming apart under his feral loving. 
“I just need one good one from you – just one good one to start. And then I’m gonna give you my cock.” He increases the pace of his fingers, not missing the way your head is thrown back in complete submission. “And after that, I’ll order you dinner.” 
“Fuck, Beast!” You pant, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. "Whatever you fucking say - ooh!" Your open palm slaps against the wall as you try to run. But his grip is too strong.
Instead he simply chuckles before pausing his feast long enough to press one hot, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh - his teeth scraping over your damp flesh as he takes you higher and higher.
“And while we wait, I’m gonna go ahead feed you my cock.” He quips with a feral flash of teeth. “And don’t worry,  I’ll make sure you eat every bite.”
END
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powerfultenderness · 1 year
Text
You were never a good sleeper, one of those rotisserie chicken types of sleeper. That is, until König. You would fuck, eat, leave.
Then he was forced to take some time off...
((Rated Mature 18+ below cut. Gn!Reader))
"Stay," he pulled you from behind, engulfing you on his giant embrace, before you could reach your shoes.
Though you relax in his arms, you shake your head. "Can't. Work, have to get up early." You say and pat his arm, silently telling him to release you.
His arms tighten around you instead and a growl vibrates through his chest. "Don't lie to me, little one." His voice is low and dark, warm breath fanning across the side of your face and neck.
You shudder at his words, he only ever called you "little one" when he was feeling particularly dominant. Not how the night had been just a few hours ago.
One of his large hands travels from where it was splayed over your stomach just a bit lower, not so subtly fidding with your belt buckle. "I don't work tomorrow. You don't work tomorrow. You stay here, we fuck some more and fuck again in the morning."
He's already undid your belt but you stop him before he can unbutton your pants. You turn around in his arms, and ignore how his hand roughly gropes your ass. "How do you know I don't work tomorrow?" You look up at him (because of course you have to) and narrow your eyes suspiciously at him. "Are you stalking me?"
He has the audacity to mutter a small "no" (in German no less! He knows you have a soft spot for him when he slips into his native language!) He averts his eyes, and probably wishes he was wearing his mask right about now, as you continue to glare at him. His grip on your ass falls and he takes half a step back, letting go of you, and mumbles something else in German. You don't quite catch it, but you don't care.
"Give me one good reason to stay."
His eyes light up and he grins at you. "Sex."
...
Well damn. That's a pretty good reason.
"Fine. But we're talking about how you know my schedule later!"
-
Though you are quite physically exhausted, it doesn't stop you from tossing and turning in your sleep. It's always worse if you're not in your own bed too. Which is why you are surprised when early morning sunlight softly hitting your face wakes you from an apparently restful slumber. It's only a second later you realize how you didn't move around all night.
König's giant frame is holding you in place, one of his legs tossed over yours and one arm clutching you tightly to his chest. You try to wiggle out of his hold but his weight and grasp on you is too strong.
"No." He grunts in a hoarse morning voice. "Go back to sleep. You finally stopped moving."
You let out a quiet scoffed laugh. "I thought you wanted morning sex?"
You suddenly found yourself on your back, legs spread apart to accommodate the large man hovering over you with an already wild look in his eyes. "Yes."
-
Well, the revelation that your partner was keeping tabs on you without your consent was a little troubling, but good sex and a good night's sleep was a pretty comparable trade.
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nyxshadowhawk · 2 months
Text
Weird Medieval Marginalia
So I got to see an epically cool manuscript of Arthurian romance (Beinecke MS 229), written in French sometime in the thirteenth or fourteenth century. It contains many fully illuminated illustrations, but the most interesting thing about it turned out to be the marginalia.
All the big images were the same kinds of scenes of knights fighting, people going into or out of buildings, people lying in bed, occasionally people on boats or talking, etc. After a while they just felt repetitive. But there are these little cartoons in the margins, and they are WILD:
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I mean I don’t even know what’s going on here.
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Apparently knights fighting snails appear in a lot of manuscripts. We have no idea what they mean. Might be the medieval version of a meme.
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What even is that gray thing?
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Knight riding chicken.
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Derpy horse.
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A very weird-looking unicorn.
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Rabbits hunting people. (RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!)
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Balancing act.
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Baby Yoda in the corner there.
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WHAT
There’s plenty more, but that’s as much as I can fit into one post. And this is all one manuscript!
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starcrossedreaders · 10 months
Note
Hi!! This is the same anon that requested the after glow fic with RE2! Leon 🙈🙈 Thank you so much for taking my request, it was so fluffy and sweet, I had a blast reading it!
I would love to make another request if possible. This one is SFW with RE4! Leon dealing with reader's wild pregnancy cravings in the middle of the night 🙈🙈  (if you write pregnant reader of course!)  Thanks!
Author's Note: I love this idea thank you so much for requesting.
Warnings: fem reader implied, weird food cravings, food, pregnant reader.
Two rough kicks and a loud grumble shook you out of your light sleep. Heavy eyelids fluttered open, it felt like sand was in your eyes. Taking a deep breath in you pushed yourself to sit up against the headboard.
Your stomach growled again as you rubbed your stomach. A slight taste of orange chicken, cream cheese wontons, and pickles lay in the back of your throat. Rolling your head to the side your husband slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the hell he has coming to him.
Leon's blonde hair covered his eyes and his chest raised up and down with each breath. His pink lips were parted open as soft snores left his mouth. Throwing your arm out you carefully shook Leon's shoulder.
Leon groaned with each shake. Closing his mouth he rolled on his side and opened his eyes. A soft smile reached his face when he saw you. Rubbing his eyes he sat up.
"Are you ok?" His voice was gruff with sleep still apparent.
Pouting a little you shook your head no. Leon frowned as sat closer, rubbing your bludging tummy. "What's wrong?"
"I'm hungry and really want orange chicken from the restaurant down the street."
Leon's brows furrowed a little as a small frown appeared on his face, he knew these next words would put you in tears.
"Honey, they're closed, is there anything else you want?" His hands slowly rubbed your back
"Don't tell me that." Your bottom lip quivered as tears began to gloss over your eyes.
Leon let out a sigh as he hugged you hoping it would help. Nothing was worse than not getting the food you crave so much that it physically hurts.
"Hey don't cry, it'll be okay. We can get you the orange chicken tomorrow," His hand softly rubbed up and down your back as his soft words filled the room next to your quiet sobs. "But for now, is there anything else you would want?"
You didn't think about it before you shook your head no. Leon let out a sigh before he asked again. "You sure? I can go out and get something at the gas station for you?"
Thinking about it again you looked at him and wiped your tears. "ca-can you get that one pickle I love." Leon nodded his head.
"And those small gummies." You pinch your fingers to show Leon how small they are. He laughs a nods his head.
"Of course Love I can." He kisses you a couple of times before he gets up out of bed and throws on some clothes to walk down to the gas station.
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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