#are there any other songs that are blatantly saying “vote for me”

[emiwuaidmslomc]

What if I put pick me and it's me on my campaign ig 💀

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Dimitri Alexendre Blaiddyd

PLEASE NOTE: THE MOD OF THIS TOURNAMENT HATES THIS PROPAGANDA! THEY BELIEVE THAT IT'S ACTIVELY LYING ABOUT THE CHARACTER AND COMING FROM A PLACE OF HATE FOR SAID CHARACTER INSTEAD OF THE FANDOM CULTURE SURROUNDING HIM. You have been warned

Why is this man so woobified. The literal whole point of him is that he's meant to be a bait and switch for the typical perfect fire emblem lord hero. He's a sadistic killer without a hint of mercy for a huge part of the story, he works with the dictator church without considering whether or not there's something wrong with it, and his route ends in him being just as much of an imperialist as the others (taking over the whole continent and being crowned its ruler), just by a different name. He's SO interesting and SO conflicted and yet it feels like 99% of the fandom can't look past "uwu emo sad boy :((( so damaged :((((" and completely disregards that he's just as brutal as the other main characters from any other route's perspective, that's the whole point of the game!

Yuno Kashiki

Yuno Kashiki is an 18 year old rental girlfriend and sexworker in Japan. She was incarcerated in Milgram for murder at the start of the series in 2020. Since then she has been repeatedly dehumanized by the fandom. Having her agency and statements on her own life overwhelmingly ignored in order to give her a sob story she has consistently rebuked at every turn. Stating from the beginning even if she had to beg for forgiveness like her life depended on it she would. However, it's simply been handed to her as the audience continually goes she was too young and stupid to actually be held accountable for her actions. The same audience that later tries to vote a 12 year old child abuse victim guilty because she has to learn her lesson and she knew what she was doing. Yes the fandom interprets the eighteen year old who chose to work in the profession they did simply because they wanted to something they have no qualms admitting as having less agency than the twelve year old. They treat her like a stupid baby who's only error was not knowing how a condom worked as a sexworker. They say her only crime is an abortion despite her overtly getting upset at other individuals alluded to be clients throughout her songs. Having the literal lyrics of her second song go, ""Poor naive little girl"? So off the mark, what's it to you? It's absurd. Like really who do you think you are? Don't weigh me meassure me against your morality. Just shut it, will you? You know it all." And "Carrssing me with your "good girl". Who needs your self-righteous pardon?" They're so committed to the abortion equating to the murder she's in here for idea that fans got mad at the writer for even writing it that way when at least several other very not fetuses are alluded to throughout her songs and at points literally shown. Her first song even highlighting her clients belongings throughout it with inverted coloring. But instead of thinking she may have just killed a client who was bothering her they've convinced themselves that she's just a silly little outlier who's not meant to be here because abortion isn't murder her body her choice which fair if it wasn't for the fact the only people putting it on the table to compare to murder is the audience themselves. Despite everyone else in here very literally killing actual people with lives, professions, etc as they frame her case as a feminism issue and say if you vote her guilty you just hate women or are anti-abortion. In response to the framing of her situation as she can hear the audiences thoughts on her she's only gotten more depressed and closed off as tge series has progressed blatantly stating to hurry all this up so she can go home. Because it doesn't matter what she says about her situation the audience and the guard by proxy will just end up creating whatever story they want about her so it doesn't matter she's over it. Which in all honesty fucking fair- Wouldn't anyone be after getting treated like that for going on four years.

She's far more morally grey than folks want to admit. She's not evil, not by a long shot, but she's not exactly innocent either. She's innocent of her (perceived) crime in her media, but in terms of her attitude and outlook on life, I feel people downplay her incredibly grey actions. She uses / used compensated dating as a way to feel "warm" without forming emotional attachments. She hasn't killed anyone, nor has she manipulated anyone into killing for her, but that's why she's a good representative of a more everyday morally grey person. Her actions aren't outlandish or extreme, and if anything she can fade into the background with relative ease, yet I still firmly believe she's morally grey. tldr; Yuno has far more depth than the (general) fandom sees her as having. She gets misrepresented and her voice as a character is often unheard.

[gunsli-01]

Honestly, when it comes to Mu framing it as Innocent or Guilty is the best approach not Forgiven or Unforgiven. Mu's actions aren't really forgivable her entire first trial song is about how I'm sorry won't reach anyone. The anyone in this case being the actual victim because they're dead so of course they can't hear it. During her interogation her only justification for killing is that it was self-defense and she had no other choice but to do it. Something that more easily aligns with a guilty/innocent framework.

Then, when asked, "Do you want to apologise to the person you killed?" during the first trial, she literally says, "I think the person who did something wrong first should apologise first." Making it abundantly clear to me that her actions are unforgivable based on the fact that she doesn't believe she needs to apologize to the person she literally killed making her song come off as nothing but a performance. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with saying I forgive Mu at all cause her apology

1. Is not mine to accept.

2. Blatantly ignores the voice of her actual victim to the extent that a good deal of the fandom really did just heavily partake in victim blaming by going but what did so and so do to deserve getting stabbed.

It just gives off that incredibly blind energy of x person did something bad/offensive towards insert minority group here but I someone who is not a part of that minority group or a direct victim of person x's actions forgive them. I accept their apology. Because they took onus of their wrongdoing and promise not to do it again. So, there's no need to fuss they didn't know any better.

It could just be my own bias cause again black and I see stuff like this happen all the time. Yet, to be completely honest, it's easier to vote her innocent than forgiven for me given these reasons.

Like at least there is a vague legal precedent for her actions under the idea of it being self-defense. Especially given how far bullying can go at times. Yet, her actions are pretty much unforgivable outside of that and she seems very aware of this given she doesn't want us looking too deeply into it anymore. Just saying knocking the Guilty/Innocent translation can ultimately end up screwing her over in some way this time around.

I wouldn't be pointing this out if not for the whole Haruka's life possibly hanging on her verdict thing but like just at least try and give people some reason to consider her positively instead of digging a deeper hole. Cause if she's voted guilty and Kotoko innocent again then she will die. We saw what Kotoko did to Mahiru and Kazui is not spending his time protecting women. So, Haruka is the one in the clear if Futa is voted innocent given Mikoto can protect himself barring something changing. So, Mu fans have got to work harder at this point given the patterns present.

She can not continue to give people nothing and given her song title and the bit of lyrics we've seen so far she may just give people less than nothing. She may just give people every reason to vote her guilty and like as much as I think that'd be deserved when it comes to the possible long-term consequences of that result, I'm wary.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Since it's Laura Nyro's birthday today, I'm just going to put it out there that I don't know what my favorite Laura Nyro album is - Nested or Mother's Spiritual? I like the same amount of songs on both albums, and I can get almost any of those songs stuck in my head at random, and pleasantly so! Technically Eli and the Thirteenth Confession should also be in the running, and though "Poverty Train" is one of my favorite songs of all-time by Laura, I'm not as attached to other songs on that album, whereas I find myself more attached to more songs on Nested and Mother's Spiritual.

P.S. Even though I get the pun or whatever regarding "Nested" and "Mother's" Spiritual, I still find the commentary on Wikipedia about these albums kind of...fucking weird, to be honest. I'm sorry - when was "American Dreamer" about raising children? "Mr. Blue (The Song of Communications)"? I'm not saying you can tell when men are the ones talking about women but who the hell else is going to so blatantly reduce a woman's work to being inspired by being a parent? Holy fucking christ. BARF. Of course, the way anyone will assume that women's work is most significantly inspired by raising children has been seriously poisoned by the sickness of sexism, patriarchy, and reductive gender roles. Anyone can be guilty of assuming it, sure, but what place does it really have when discussing an artist's work? Literally I fear repeating myself about that for the rest of my fucking time on Earth.

Anyway, MOVING ON, I think my other favorite songs by Laura are "The Right to Vote" (her humor and use of heavy irony in this song is FUCKING DELICIOUS AND DELIGHTFUL AND I COULD LISTEN TO IT FOR HOURS AND HOURS ON REPEAT, and I have. Tbh I listen to it every election day) and "American Dreamer" (and technically "Springblown," also, but I find the intro kind of tedious until you get to the "Every time that I see your face/It's like a warm embrace" and then I'm like dEAR GOD OKAY OKAY YEAH THIS COULD BE A FAVE...musically it also reminds me of Joni Mitchell in its willingness to be all over the place musically, stylistically, rhythmically, etc. but in an incredibly interesting and compelling way; Laura Nyro was also a genius, in case I haven't said that before)! So, again, I'm stuck on figuring out which of her albums is my favorite. Maybe I don't need to choose? Maybe I'll just say both.

[getmemymicroscope]

So, let's start with the obvious. This movie is definitely entertaining. Salman's guest appearance is entertaining/hilarious, and the 'masala' factor is clearly there. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it more than, say, Singham or Simmba (though, the overall plot point in Simmba was more painful) or something, but it was definitely entertaining. And, as for the YRF 'spy universe,' I definitely preferred this to the Tiger movies and War (War's War-like twist, which I only knew cuz I had watched War not much before, aside).

But is this movie "movie of the year" award quality? No. I was reading something recently about the Oscar and how occasionally (frequently?) good movies miss out because some movies are made in an 'award-friendly' manner (in the Oscars, they seem to vote for those weird 'awardy' movies as opposed to like anything that entertains), and this movie is definitely in that category of awardy (unlike the Oscars, Bollywood movie awards are definitely a popularity contest, and being SRK's first movie in years - and first entertaining, ?good?, movie in even longer - is all you really need to be award-worthy, and pretty much guarantees them a clean sweep; which is unfortunate, because it's not deserving of that).

Stylish action? Sure. Good, clean, well-written plot? No way in hell. But that's not why you're watching this movie anyways.

There were so many things that brought back memories of other movies - Darr was blatantly obvious; when they're racing up the train, it almost felt like their "race" in the song Yeh Bandhan Toh in Karan Arjun; the on-screen text, and the Deepika/John very predictable dynamic of 'with him, not with him, with him, not with him,' and the flying wings, were all reminders of Race; John with the motorcyles, and some of his dialogues, and the camera angles as him and SRK are talking atop that truck, were very Dhoom-like; the sequence in the snow and on the ice almost felt like a callback to (multiple) Bond movies.

That controversy around that song was obviously pointless - just stupid losers getting butt-hurt about nothing - but, god, that song was just not good. I guess it helped build up some anticipation for the song, but yikes. Jhoome Jo Pathaan was slightly better. The background music in the action sequences and with John was pretty cool.

Much like War before it, this movie suffered from what felt like just 'too much.' It kept dragging on at the end, as if it didn't want to end. The bit was Dimple dragged on - I get they're trying to be patriotic, but it just plain dragged, and her "embrace your death" sentiment (why are you taking your helmet off if it isn't doing any good, but also not any harm?) before ultimately just offing herself just felt blah. They stop John, but he tricks them; they stop John, but he tricks them; they stop John, but he tricks them - just over-and-over again. What they really needed to do, and Bollywood never would do, is have Deepika actually be on his team. We already know the whole set-up, which takes half of the fucking movie, is going to happen exactly like it is - and we also know that eventually she's going to change her mind. Tiger-like, even. (Even John Abraham jokes about this at one of the 'ends,' because even he knows how predictable this is).

Could SRK actually take John on in a one-on-one fight? I don't think so. And, unrelated, how'd he pull that switcheroo at the end?

Don't get me wrong - I was definitely entertained (up until I was bored, but then it became a bit entertaining again, maybe, at the end). I also realize that after his recent failures, this movie is going to 'save' Bollywood (also because Bollywood has been a shitshow as of late) - but that doesn't make it 'best movie' or anything. That just makes it an entertaining flick - and if, at the end of this year, this is the best Bollywood movie to have released, it's going to be another down year for Bollywood.

[xpeachesncream]

2AM | one shot

summary: just like yoongi says - if namjoon wasn’t gonna act on his feelings for you, then why couldn’t you? even if that meant sliding into namjoon’s DMs.

pairing: reader x namjoon

genre: college au | sprinkle of fluff, smut

words: 3.8k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, club scene, alcohol consumption, dancing/grinding, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, breast play, hickeys, oral (f. receiving), cum eating, ass smacking, doggy style, hair pulling, headboard knocking against the wall and head to the mattress type of rough sex, pillow to the face type of loud sex, backshots, namjoon is a kind fella though and really respects you

note: i’ve been hearing namjoon is/has become people’s bias wrecker lately..... 🤪 this is for you. i’ve tried to make this as realistic and relatable as possible. pls excuse any errors!

The club was awfully packed tonight, you and your friends and a bunch of all your mutual friends tightly pushed against one corner of the club, celebrating whoever's birthday it was - you couldn't fucking remember. You were just there because you knew of the person, but your friends still dragged you out to have a good time.

And, God, you were drunk. You were having a good time. You were already drunk before the club, having pissed on the sidewalk with Yoongi covering you with his jacket while Jin pissed next to you in the alley since there were no bathrooms open to the public at this time.

"Namjoon is here!" You hear Yoongi yell and nudge you. Namjoon had always had a crush on you. You two were friends, had a lot of mutual friends, but it was nothing more of a hi and bye in passing on campus. Occasional small talk, nothing more, nothing less. But, it didn't mean you didn't think he was attractive. Standing almost at 6 ft tall, the man was buff in all the right places and had a smile that could kill from miles away. You just never pressed on it because Namjoon never pressed on it. People teased him about his silly crush on you but he never took it further. He'd call you the prettiest girl he'd ever seen on campus, leaving anonymous comments on the campus' compliment board talking about how your smile was the best one he's ever seen. Everyone knew it was Kim Namjoon. But it was just a silly crush after all, right?

Tonight though, you were thinking of doing other things. Maybe it was this dick drought you had been in, maybe it was the alcohol heightening your attraction to him. Whatever the fuck it was, you wanted it and you were down.

"Aye!" Namjoon comes over to Yoongi and Jin, giving them their daps and hugs before he makes his way over to you. "What's up, Y/N?" He pulls you into a tight hug. 

"Hey! Didn't think you'd be here." You chuckled.

"Why not? I like to have fun every so often, too." You nod. It's not like Namjoon hated going out, but he did have a preference of staying in than being at the club. He wasn't at every outing or club event. He'd make it to some if it was really important to his friends, but he'd usually skip out and he'd be teased about it the following week. You liked that about him; that he wasn't the type to be a partier or spend his free time chugging on alcohol. He was one of the smartest guys on campus who was pretty well known and he carried himself well. Dude could run for president and he’d have everyone’s votes, no cap.

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you're glad I'm here." He joked with that smile of his, dimples piercing his cheeks before he continued his rounds of hello's.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Jin fluttered his eyelashes as he swung back and forth, mocking your tone in tiny causing Yoongi to laugh.

"Fuck off, Seokjin." You shove him.

"Why don't you finally do something about it? You know he likes you.”

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Why can't it be you?" Yoongi asked. "Does the dude always have to make a move?"

"Yeah, and besides, what if he's only doing that because he respects you and thinks you don't like him like that?" Jin butted in.

"I didn't asked to be attacked." Yoongi shrugged.

"Just saying. It doesn't have to be on Namjoon. Maybe he's waiting on you. Don't slip up, fool." He jokes as you shake your head, leading your friends to the bar for another drink to keep your drunkness alive. Yoongi orders three shots of nasty ass Jameson, but you take it anyways because he's your homeboy and the shit was free. He asks for another round, which you almost pass on but you catch sight of your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook.

"Pass it." Yoongi smirks as he passes you another shot glass. You take it to the neck with ease, deciding you'd deal with consequences later. You just wanted to have your fun.

"Hey." Jungkook wraps his arms around you, causing you to shrug him off and push his arms away.

"Jungkook, stop." You used to hate him. You really used to despise the guy, but it had gotten so tiring that you eventually got over it and moved on. You had a good relationship after all, you had a great freshman year even if you started off college in a relationship. But, he didn't want it after a year and a half. He wanted his college freedom, wanted to explore, wanted to get to know the incoming freshmen girls and transfers. So, he eventually stopped trying and that killed you.

But myyyy, have the tables turned. Jungkook wanted you back badly even though you've made it blatantly obvious you were over him.

"Dance with me tonight? You look good." He looks at you up and down, eyeing the tight mini skirt and crop top you had on.

"Maybe.” You look at him like he was crazy. “I'm busy."

"With who?"

"Not with you."

"Come on, baby. Please." Obviously drunk and out of this mind.

"Ew, don't call me that Jungkook. I am not your baby."

"Aw come on, you’ll always be though." He smiles, hugging you once more.

"You got a whole line up, remember? Stop worrying about me." You scoff as you shove him aside, making your way back to your friends.

"The fuck was that about?"

"Jungkook being Jungkook."

"He definitely wants to have his cake and eat it, too."

"Well, that's not gonna fly with me. He needs to go."

"Good. Come on, let's go dance. Maybe Namjoon will come since you don’t wanna do it. Acting all scared and shit." 

“Shut up, Yoongi. Just walk.” You laugh. Yoongi nods towards some free space, Jin already welcoming a lady friend onto his lap for a dance. You playfully dance around with Yoongi for a little before you feel him passing you off to pretty boy Park Jimin. You loved dancing with Jimin because lord knows he knew a thing or two about rhythm more than most of these men in the club. Including your friends.

Heh, just kidding.

After a song or two, the latest shots are starting to make their way through your veins, your skin feeling hot and your balance being a little thrown off. Nothing you couldn't handle though, you still knew how to compose yourself well and keep it together.

"Enjoying yourself?" You hear Namjoon come from behind you as you had been standing around by the railings, catching a breather after Jimin had broke you off to those two songs, working up a damn sweat.

"Yeah, are you?" You turn to face him as your arms hung loosely over the railing.

"I meaaaan, I think it could be better." He sips on his drink.

"Stop babysitting your drink, Namjoon." You playfully nudge him.

"I'm not babysitting, I'm just savoring this expensive drink." You roll your eyes and laugh. You watch as he takes another sip, your hand keeping his glass tilted from the end until there's nothing left for him to drink.

"There, that's better."

"You're a bad influence."

"No, I'm not."

"You are. Pretty, and a bad influence." He adds, chuckling while licking his bottom lip. It's silent for a minute as he's eyeing the crowd in front of you, watching people sloppily dance on each other or tongue each other down. Either or, everyone was drunk and feeling up on somebody.

Everyone besides you two.

"Fuck it, let's dance." He suddenly says, grabbing your hand and leading the way to the nearest empty space. He backs himself against the wall, grabbing you by the waist to throw your ass back on him. He grips you tightly as you work him, his hips moving in tandem with yours. If you weren't mistaken, you could feel this entire thing soaking your panties by the minute. The way he had taken initiative and grabbed your hand the way that he did. The way he backed himself against the wall and shoved you onto his crotch area.

You didn't know Namjoon had it in him after he had been shying away from his crush on you. Park Jimin was sliding down the dance pyramid, with Kim Namjoon quickly climbing his way to the top.

Something so innocent had turned intimate pretty quick, your body backed against his now as you slowly worked your hips to Rossi's All I Want, your hand grabbing around his neck. You felt his breath against your skin, his eyes locked on you and only you.

After a couple of dances, you turned to him, his arms still wrapped around your waist. He gave you a big, toothless smile, his dimples becoming a huge weakness for you. You being the tease that you are, gave him a kiss on the cheek before you started to pull away from his grip.

"Oh, so it's like that?" He jokes as he bites on his bottom lip, his hands slowly slipping down your wrists the more you pull away.

"I don't know, is it?"

"You tell me. Are you going to hit me up to kick it?"

"We'll see." You smirk at him before walking towards your friends, his tongue pressed against his cheek as he watches your hips sway from side to side. After tonight, you knew you wanted Namjoon and he was the goal. No if's, and's or but's.

You and your friends call it a night by the time the club is almost coming to a close. Everyone is rushing to head out and catch their Ubers, but you see no Namjoon in sight. He must have disappeared sometime during the night, and you were too busy with your friends to notice. Which, is a fucking bummer because you wanted to see him before you left, hoping it could flourish into something more than just the dances you shared with him tonight.

You just had to be a tease.

Getting home, you're a little uneasy because you're stuck on the fact that you want something more out of the night and you couldn't get that. You hesitated quite a few times, picking up your phone, then throwing it back onto your bed. Your roommate hadn't gotten home yet, the loneliness kicking in quick.

Fuck it!

You shake your head and grow some balls to hit up Namjoon to see what he was up to at damn near 2AM.

But sike, your ass doesn't even have his number.

"What the fuck, Y/N!" You groan to yourself, quickly pulling up your group chat w/ Yoongi and Jin before you change your mind.

[y/n] 1:52am: ANYBODY HAVE NAMJOON'S NUMBER???

Pure silence for the next 5 minutes.

[y/n] 1:58am: i know none of you two are getting some tonight, where tf are you!

Some more silence.

"For fuck's sake, guys." You whined as you pulled up Namjoon's IG page. Were you really gonna do this? Were you really gonna slip yourself into his DMs?

Absolutely the fuck yes.

x_ynbaby: hi

namjoooonie: :) look who it is

x_ynbaby: sorry this prob looks stupid as fuck but i just realized i didnt have your number

namjoooonie: no biggie. at least ill be able to say y/n slid in my dm's first

x_ynbaby: pls dont start

namjoooonie: how can i help you?

x_ynbaby: what are you up to?

namjoooonie: im about to get ready for bed just like you should be doing

x_ynbaby: excuse you, im grown. i can go to bed when i want lol

namjoooonie: you're grown, ey?

x_ynbaby: yeah i am

namjoooonie: cool, come show me here?

x_ynbaby: kim namjoon, what is that supposed to mean

namjoooonie: it means you come over and watch something with me that isnt pg-13, duh? take it or leave it cutie, ive got some good comedy stand-ups on my list

x_ynbaby: lol send me the address

You laughed out loud. He was so frustratingly cute that you found yourself throwing on your jacket and heading back out to grab an Uber to his place not too far from yours. His roommate was home, but he had been locked up in his room the entire time Namjoon had gotten back. He figured he was already sound asleep, so he had you quietly come up the steps, his hand holding onto yours as you tippy-toed past his roommate's door.

"Fuck, finally. What a journey." He says, shutting his door.

"You're so dramatic."

"Says the one who was like we'll see." He mocks you, batting his eyelashes and tilting his head to the side.

"Shut up. Where's your list of comedy stand-ups, huh?" He plops on his bed, patting the empty space next to him.

"Right here." He opens his macbook. "This is where all the magic happens."

"Ah, yes. The comedy stand-ups and the porn, right?"

"Yup, especially the porn." You laugh as you playfully shove him aside. He actually begins to play Dave Chapelle's Sticks and Stones, his cute laugh already erupting and echoing throughout his room. You couldn't help but laugh yourself, your body sinking closer to his. Feeling his body against yours had the heat pooling in your core, wanting more from him while you were here. "I can't believe he—" He turns to look at you, your gaze still kept on him. "What?"

"Namjoon, I know this isn't the only thing you were thinking about tonight." You say, almost at a whisper.

"It's not, but I don't wanna disrespect you in any way." He says, in typical Namjoon fashion. You shake your head, your hand on his chest as you slightly push yourself up.

"Handle me." He simply looks at you as you nod. "Handle me like you would, all bullshit aside." He hesitates a bit, his face edging closer to yours.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. We've established that we're grown, right? Show me." You say breathily. As soon as it slips your mouth, Namjoon shoves his laptop aside to wrap his strong arms around you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his torso. He gently lays you on his bed as he keeps his lips locked onto yours. The kiss becomes messy, your tongue continuously pushing against his, the sounds of wet kisses now filling his room. You moan into his mouth as he fiddles to remove your joggers, catching a glimpse of him finally removing them and tossing it across his neatly organized room. You pulled away for a quick second to remove his shirt before he removed yours, your hands trailing down his beautiful chest.

"Fuck, taking this off." He says, aggressively unhooking your bra and throwing it off to the side to be an eyesore along with your sweats lying on the floor. You giggle as he begins to kiss down your neck and jawline, then welcoming himself to your breasts. He plays with your nipples, his thumb toying with it and gently pinching. You let out a hiss as you feel his tongue flicking around your nipples one by one, his breath causing cold air to linger on them. You watch as he begins to suck on the skin of your breasts, leaving purple-ish marks on either boob.

"Ohhhhshit." You bite onto your bottom lip, so fucking turned on by him and his ways. He makes his way down to your panties, giving your clothed clit a kiss before shoving your panties aside and licking a strip upwards. "Ahhhhh, Namjoon." You breathe.

"Uh huh?" He says, lowering his mouth onto your clit, sucking as his tongue caressed it slowly at the same time. His mouth and tongue are continuing to work in tandem while he slips in two digits, working them in and out to stretch you out.

"Yeah, like that." You moan, your hand is gripping his hair tightly as you jut your hip upwards. Namjoon does a good job holding you down, even as your high approaches. "Ughhhhhhgggfuck!" Your words mesh together as you try to jut your hips upwards once more before you feel yourself unraveling under his grip. You tremble as you coat his fingers, moaning loudly and not giving a damn about his sleeping roommate anymore.

"Shhh, my roommate." He chuckles as he towers over you, careful not to put all his body weight on yours.

"I'm sorry but, gohhhhd." You whine. "Please just fuck me, I wanna feel you." He bites onto his bottom lip, watching you twirl your tongue around his wet digits and suck on them, giving yourself a good taste of your pussy.

"Stop." He tilts his head back and shakes his head. "You're gonna make me cum just doing that."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I haven't gotten to feel you, yet. That's what." He says as he removes his beautifully long and thick hardened member from his boxers, his sweats dropping to the floor from his ankles. He pumps himself a few times before he taps it against your folds, teasing you with his tip as he slides it up and down.

"Namjoon, I swear—" You arch your back, feining for more.

"You swear, or what?" He asks playfully, his tip the first to slowly enter inside of you. Your breathing hitches the deeper he goes in, literally having you question whether or not you were gonna be able to take him. "You okay?" You nod silently as you try to position yourself comfortably on him, Namjoon letting out a small groan as he feels you fully envelope him from wall to wall. He starts slow, making sure you were comfortable before he begins to pick up his pace. You grip the sheets as he begins to get aggressive with you, his headboard endlessly knocking on his wall.

He apparently doesn't give a fuck about his roommate either. And here he was, shushing you.

You begin to moan his name loudly, feeling the high approaching you once again.

"Y/N." He whispers, chuckling. He [politely] throws his pillow onto your head, signaling for you to hold onto it and scream into it if need be. Which, you do. "Fuuuck Y/N, you're so hot." He moans under his breath as his thrusts are fast, the sound of skin pounding against skin bouncing off of his walls.

"Joon, I'm cumming again." You moan into the pillow as he slows his thrusts for you, letting out breathy moans as he feels you constricting around him.

"Turn around." He says, you quickly obeying, shooting your ass up with your face down. You wiggle your ass onto his dick, causing him to slightly hiss. He inserts his tip in but allows you to sink onto him yourself. "Godddddamn." He moans as you begin to move your body up and down on his dick, cream lathering the top of it like icing. He gives your ass a good smack, the heat pooling to the area quickly. One hand grips your hips, while the other grips your hair and slightly tugs on it as he takes control and thrusts into you.

"Fuck! Namjoon." You groan as he pulls your hair. Your ass is bouncing off of him, the pain turning into pleasure. Your mouth is agape, no sounds being able to escape as he pounds into you.

"Shit Y/N, I'm gonna cum. Where do you want me to cum?"

"Backshot." You simply say, Joon fully understanding. With the last couple of thrusts, you find yourself constricting around him again, body getting weak and trembling back down into the sheets. His hand pushes your head into the mattress while the other pulls out and pumps his hardened dick, lathering your back in his load. You feel him almost collapse onto you, his hand holding onto your hip as he regulates his breathing.

"Fuck, I am so sorry." He says, grabbing a tissue to wipe your back.

"Why are you sorry?" You laugh as you turn over afterwards.

"It just makes me feel bad, I feel like I'm marking my territory or something."

"I meaaaaaaan." You say, Namjoon's eyes going straight to your breasts.

"Agh fuck, Y/N." He says, feeling bad as he slips on his clothes before handing you yours.

"It's not a big deal.

"I just want you to know that I do value you more than just my territory or whatever that means." He shakes his head. "Fuck, I just mean I value you more than that, okay?" You giggle.

"You're fine, Joon." He smiles toothlessly as he nods, feeling accomplished having gotten his point across.

"So, more comedy stand ups?"

"Boy, you wore me out. I'm going to sleep."

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back, gonna grab us water. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, thank you." You smile as he shuts his door. You check your phone from your night stand seeing that your friends had finally texted you back.

[yoongi] 2:47am: woops, shit hahahah did you still need it?

[yoongi] 2:47am: and fuck off ok, what if i was getting some?

[jin] 2:49am: he's not. we're not. we just finished playing phasmaphobia thats why we responded late

[yoongi] 2:49am: youre an ass kisser seokjin

[jin] 2:50am: i think y/n is already at namjoons

[yoongi] 2:51am: better tell us about it tomorrow bro @ y/n

[jin] 2:52am: have fun be safe

[y/n] 3:30am: you guys get home from the club and play phasmaphobia? thats why you guys get none

[jin] 3:31am: r u at namjoons or not, this wasnt even about us

[y/n] 3:32am: yes and just got dicked down like the world was ending tomorrow

[yoongi] 3:33am: .........

[yoongi] 3:33am: .......................

[jin] 3:34am: 'whyyyyy does it have to be me' she said

[jin] 3:34am: dick mustve gotten your tongue now

[y/n] 3:35am: Error: 404. This number could not be reached at this time. Try again later.

[jin] 3:36am: lmfao weak, you'll hear from us later today missy

You chuckled to yourself as you heard Namjoon nearing the door. Suddenly, you hear another door open, his roommate's voice faintly echoing in the hallway.

"Dude, can you and your girl be any louder?"

"Sorry Hobi, I thought you were asleep."

"That's the thing, I was." Namjoon laughs.

"Oh shit, my bad. We'll keep it down next time." You watched as he nodded before closing the door. You laughed silently as he handed you a water bottle, scooting himself next to you.

"Yeah Namjoon, be quiet next time."

"Me? You had a pillow and you were still loud."

"Not my fault. Didn't even know you had it in you." You teased.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" He scoffed before gently tickling you.

"It's just, I thought you were forgetting about your little crush on me."

"Want me to show you again?"

"I'm sleep, bye." You laughed as you turned over, your ass comfortably touching his leg while he laid next to you and watched his show.

[brookecuzyes]

three years of you. — tear myself apart

Damiano David x GN!Musician!Reader

Main Masterlist — 3yrs Masterlist

Summary: it’s only been a couple of days, which were full of tears and regret. however, that regret wasn’t on their part until a simple comment was made. (Part 3 of a series)

Word Count: ≈3.4k

Warnings: cursing, alcohol intake, angst (Anyone drinking alcohol in this chapter is of the legal drinking age in the United States, which is 21.)

A/N: thank y’all for reading! this has already gained a lot of readers and so i am happy about that. love you guys sm 💕 songs included in this fic are not mine. any characters mentioned are not mine, and belong to their respected owners. and ofc, i don’t own the celebrities either. i do check comments/reblogs, so please be respectful!!

———————————————————————-

You’ve got this, you can do it.

You tried consoling yourself. Normally, he would be here to help calm you down— or at least call if he could physically be there. He’d be there if you were about to have a panic attack, he’d be there to make sure that you were OK.

But you aren’t.

An entire audience full of strangers who listened to the songs, who listened to your heartbreak. Now, they get to watch your heart break live.

He wouldn’t— no, couldn’t— be there to comfort you. He couldn’t be there to tell you that everything will be fine. He fucked up, he’s the one who messed up that relationship…

“…then why did you show up?”

——

Glasses clinked. Chatter was taking place all around. Honestly, it was a little overwhelming.

You sat down at the booth with the whole band. Saturday had rolled around, which you hadn’t noticed since you were lost in an almost depressive state where time was non-existent. However, the karaoke bar definitely woke you up.

“Alright, guys,” Luke, the lead guitarist, said, holding a couple of drinks in his hands. “Tonight is the night! The tradition kicks in once again, and Monday we start recording. Let’s celebrate and relax.” Julie, the lead singer and the girlfriend of Luke, followed behind him, setting more drinks down on the table. Flynn, the unofficial manager of the band, let out a loud, “woo!”, making everyone laugh. All of you grabbed a glass and clinked them together, all taking a sip at the same time. Your face crunched when you processed the drink.

“Jesus, Luke, what is this?” you questioned.

“Alcohol,” he said blatantly.

“Yeah, no shit,” you shot back, shaking off the effects.

“I just said that we’re relaxing— that’s exactly what alcohol does!”

“Or maybe you're just an alcoholic?” Alex joked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I don’t drink that much.” Luke defended.

“That’s what an alcoholic would say.” The whole band started laughing at the ongoing banter. It isn’t often when Alex made witty remarks like that, and everyone always enjoyed it when he did.

On another note, you felt as if you absolutely needed this drink. Given what’s been going on this last week, you felt like you deserved it. Though, you knew you’d regret this tomorrow. You knew Alex was keeping an eye out for you. The rest of the band didn’t know yet, they just knew that something happened, which is why you left Italy so early. They were all confused, but didn’t ask upon it when Alex glared daggers at them when they tried. So, thankfully, they did back off. But, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t concerned.

You had been talking, making it seem as if everything was fine, but Alex’s heart broke when he picked up on it. However, with the alcohol about to course through your veins, it would be harder from him to be able to pick up on whether you were drunk or going through it. Regardless, he was going to make sure that you were having fun and not thinking about your ex.

“Hey,” Flynn said, “why don’t we start the karaoke? I think we all have enough alcohol in our systems to do this.”

“I vote for Alex to go first!” You said, raising your hand. “Do Micheal Bublé.”

“Woah, hold up, I never even said-“

“It doesn’t matter. What I say goes. Now go.” He sighed, laughing as he stood up from the booth. He went over to the guy and told him what song he wanted to do. They got everything set up, and Alex got on stage.

“Let’s go, Alex!” You cheered on, making him smile and blush just a bit— though that wasn’t entirely visible from where you guys decided to sit.

The song started playing, and Alex started singing. It took you a few seconds to recognize the song but you figured it out.

“Oh, he’s singing Feeling Good. I love that song,” you whispered to Reginald, the bassist, who was sitting next to you. He looked to you over his shoulder, smiling. He hadn’t seen you so “out there” since you got back. It was nice to see you getting back to normal. Though, he didn’t actually know why you weren’t normal to begin with.

And I’m feeling… good.

You cheered Alex on again, dancing along to the beat with the whole band. Alex didn’t sing much, but when he did you cherished those moments. That’s why he songs Now or Never and Stand Tall on the band’s very first album are your favorite.

“God, I love his voice,” Reggie said, as if he read your mind.

“Yeah, and look at him,” you pointed out the way his body is moving with the music. The way he was just lost in a musical haze. It was enchanting. “That’s what his anxiety covers up.”

Alex soon finished, hopping off of the stage with an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed, babe,” you said, noticing his expression. “That was the best performance tonight by far. Not even Julie could compare to how amazing that was.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” she said, drawing out the ‘thanks’ in a sarcastic way. You raised your glass to her.

“Anytime, Jules,” you replied, raising your eyebrow and taking a sip. She laughed, letting the comment you made slip— for now at least.

“Hey, I have an idea!” Flynn exclaimed. “How about we take a couple photos and post them to our accounts? Y’know, to celebrate this very special moment.” Everyone collectively agreed. Pictures were taken left and right— and others were taken throughout the night, too— and each person had a different photo that they were each going to post. You had decided that you were going to post yours now, not wanting to forget later on tonight or tomorrow.

You captioned it:

Just continuing a small tradition tonight with music and alcohol. maybe if he lets me, i’ll post Alex singing Feeling Good 😏🤍

It was perfect and you posted it, after letting everyone see it to make sure it was OK. Within minutes people already saw it and were liking and commenting. You made sure to turn your phone off before it started going crazy. Julie and Luke decided to go up and do a duet with each other. They choose Little Do You Know. Their voices were beautiful singing the song. They mashed just so perfectly. You recorded them, knowing that you would 100% show them this at their wedding. (They aren’t engaged, but it’s bound to happen sooner or later.)

You weren’t paying attention to the notifications spamming the top of your screen, though you did look back once to see if the camera was aligned with their bodies. That’s when you saw a specific notification. One thing that you absolutely forgot when you posted that photo was that Måneskin could still see your posts. The only reason you remembered was because Victoria responded to your post.

Ahhh you look amazing!!!😘

The second you saw it, you put your head in your hands, mentally slapping yourself. If Victoria saw it, then the rest of the band is going to see, meaning Damiano would see it. Fuck, you thought to yourself.

“Hey, Y/N, are you alright?” Alex asked, placing a hand on your arm. You looked up at him showing him the comment. “I don’t understand.”

“Victoria commented. Meaning Damiano’s probably gonna see it.”

“Not if he’s blocked.”

“I didn’t block him, we’re still mutuals.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Alex. Maybe I just haven’t gotten to it yet.” You realized the angered tone in your voice, not meaning to be rude to Alex. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“No, it’s okay. Hey, maybe if he does end up seeing it, he’ll just be jealous. Damiano will see everything he’s missing out on.”

“What is Damiano missing out on?” Julie asked, sitting back down with Luke.

“Oh, it’s nothing-“ Alex started, but you cut him off.

“I left Italy because Damiano was talking to another girl. It caused too many problems, so I left.” Everyone went silent. Everyone’s eyes softened at you, unsure of what to say.

“Y/N…”

“It’s fine. I’m here now. It doesn’t matter.” Silence fell once again, especially on Alex’s behalf. He knew you weren’t fine, he knew it mattered— whether you said it or not. “Sorry if I kinda killed tonight’s vibe.”

“N-No, you’re fine,” Reggie said. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, you didn’t ruin anything. I am glad that you told us, though. We’ve been worried.” Luke said, putting his arms on the table and leaning forward just a bit. You felt your phone vibrate but didn’t think anything of it— probably just another person on Instagram.

“Sorry that I made you guys worry. I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It’s just been a hard couple of days. This shit isn’t easy,” you explained, mumbling the last part. Everyone stayed silent, none wanting to make something worse.

“Luke, why don’t you and the guys go grab some food?” Julie suggested, placing a hand on Luke’s back, turning her attention back to you.

“Oh, yeah. Guys, let’s go,” Luke said, getting the hint. The boys got up and left, each giving you a sympathetic look. The girls, on the other hand, all stayed behind.

“Alright, listen up,” Flynn started. “Tonight is not the night to mope around. You can do that tomorrow when you’re hungover.”

“Right now,” Julie jumped in, “you’re gonna forget about that asshole, get your ass out there, and sing your heart out, dammit!” Your eyes widened at the girls’ sternness. A smile started creeping from your lips, Julie and Flynn following behind you. Soon enough, the three of you started laughing your asses off.

“Ok, ok, I’m convinced. I’ll have fun tonight. Thanks,” you said, trying to shake off the laughter so you can speak. You grabbed your drink, taking a sip of it. It was the same drink Luke got you earlier. Damn it, Luke. You shook your head to shake off the kick the drink had. Flynn chuckled at your antics, taking a sip of her, not as strong, drink. The guys soon came back with some snack-type items in their hands.

“Are we all good now?” Alex asked, setting down the plate on the table and looking your way.

“Yep, we’re all good now,” Julie answered, taking a sip of her drink. You chuckle at her, reaching for some of the food on the table. “But, Y/N’s about to sing for us.”

“Woah, wait, now?”

“What did I say? You’re gonna sing your heart out.”

You groaned, slumping back in your set in a joking— yet, not entirely joking— way. “Julie, I didn’t realize that you meant right now.”

“Ok, so? Get up there, Y/N! C’mon it’ll be fun.” You contemplated. I should go, you thought, it could be fun.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you announced, getting up from your seat. Reggie and Flynn got up from theirs so you could get out. When you got up, you turned to Reginald.

“C’mon, you’re doing this with me,” you said, grabbing his arm and dragging him over to the guy supervising the karaoke.

“I didn’t really wanna sing right now. Nerves, y’know?” Reggie explained.

“So? Reggie, I get that nerves are real, but there’s no way in hell I’m doing this alone.” You opened up a book full of songs, and was going through the selection.

“Why couldn’t you just get someone else?”

“Because I think our voices clash very well together.” You turned your head to him and gave him a smile. He shyly smiled back. You looked back at the book and held it up to Reggie. “What about this one?” you asked, pointing to a song. Reggie read it and smiled.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he said, grabbing the pen and marking off the song and writing your names. You stood back, waiting for him to finish. When he did, he turned around.

“Alright, I’ve got us down. Wanna head up?” He asked, holding his hand out with a playful smile.

“Let’s do it,” you said, grabbing a hold of his hand, him taking you up the stairs and into the stage.

When you walked up, you saw the screen in front of you turn on, switching to the lyrics of the song. The lights were bright, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. You saw some people stare at you, but it was mainly the rest of the band. Reginald walked to the microphone set up on the far left, you took the other. The song started playing, immediately relaxing you. Maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought. The song you chose was a favorite of you and Reggie— Meet Me At Our Spot. Of course, the band loved it too, but they got bored with it after a while since you two were always blasting it wherever you went. You actually had some inspiration from this song and wrote a little tune, but you had no lyrics at the moment.

When I wake up

I cant even stay up

I slept through the day, fuck

I’m not getting younger

——

“Victoria, you don’t understand-“

“No, you don’t understand, Damiano!” Victoria raised her voice at him. They never argued. They’ve known each other since childhood and nothing had ever caused an issue, except for this.

“I did nothing wrong.”

“Really? ‘Cause it looks to me that you broke your lovers heart.”

“Y/N left me,” he said, trying to reason.

“They might have physically left, but, Damiano, you were gone a long time ago.” She started towards the front door of his house, grabbing her keys.

“Where are you going?” Damiano asked.

“Home. But, let me tell you something first, Dami.” She put her hand on the doorknob. “It doesn’t matter how you try to defend yourself, you fucked up. You broke Y/N’s heart. You were talking to someone else. The damage is done. If you’re gonna try and get them back, you’re gonna have to try really damn hard. You want to get Y/N back, right?”

Silence followed. Victoria gave him a second to compose himself, but ultimately feared the worst. “Dami…”

“I mean, yeah, but-“

“No buts. You shouldn’t be saying ‘but’, you have no reason to.” Damiano just looked at her. “Wow… unbelievable.” Victoria opened the door and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Damiano walked up to the door and locked it. He headed back to the living room and heard his phone ding. He picked it up and saw that you had posted a photo.

Just continuing a small tradition tonight with music and alcohol. maybe if he lets me, i’ll post Alex singing Feeling Good 😏🤍

He sighed. He unlocked his phone, and went to go see the photo you posted. You looked nice. Happy. What was the tradition again?

Right, karaoke. The weekend before the band records an album, everyone goes to a karaoke bar. He scrolled down a bit and saw a comment. He saw Victoria’s comment.

Ahhh you look amazing!!!😘

He figured that she saw the post before she pulled out of his driveway. He debated on what he should do.

Yeah, he fucked up. But, it really wasn’t that bad. It’s not like he cheated. It was just talking. He wanted to tell you that you look great, but wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. Like Y/N would care what I think, he thought to himself. You never broke up, though. Plus, he needs to know what’s going on, how you’re doing. He’s concerned. Couldn’t be the worst thing— it’s not like the internet knows yet.

Ok, I’ll just just comment.

——

Caught a vibe

Baby, are you coming for the ride

I just wanna look into your eyes

I just wanna stay for the night, night, night

You and Reginald were jamming out to the song, as per usual. Everyone was loving it, even the rest of the band. It was the most fun you’ve had in a hot second.

When we take a drive

Maybe we can take the 405

Hypnotized by the light

Man, this must be the life

As the song ended, everyone cheered you two on. You went over and hugged Reggie on his side, him giving a small hug back. You guys walked back to your booth, the whole band full of excitement. Alex got up from his seat and let the two of you in, you sitting in the corner of the booth.

“That was amazing!” Luke exclaimed.

“Thanks, we had fun,” Reggie said, practically reading your mind.

“Definitely.”

“Your voices go so well together,” Flynn remarked.

“That’s exactly what I said!” you said, hitting Reginald’s shoulder so he knows your point is proven.

“Ok, we don’t have to be violent about it,” he joked, smirking just a bit.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go to the restroom real quick. I’ll be back,” you said, waiting for Alex and Reggie to stand up so you can go. You grabbed your phone, stood up, and made your way to the restroom. When you got to the restroom, you went to one of the stalls but checked your phone before you did anything else. However, you almost immediately regretted it because you saw that Damiano had commented on your photo.

What the hell does he want?

You read what he had commented, and, honestly, you wanted to laugh.

You look great tonight, as you do every night, amore

You couldn’t believe it. Amore, really? you thought to yourself. You looked up from your phone, looking at the stall door. You contemplated what to do next:

For starters, keeping the comment wouldn’t be out of the norm for your followers. They knew about you and Damiano. However, if you deleted (which you really wanted to do), everyone would notice. People would speculate. Or, you could just go off on Damiano privately. That would be too harsh. But, this is your account— your decision. Do you want to have your cheater boyfriend compliment you the way he did?

You know what, do it later, you thought, turning off your phone and finally, actually, using the restroom.

Once you finished, you exited the stall and walked over to the sinks. You washed your hands, not able to get that damn comment off of your mind.

You walked out of the restroom and back over to the booth, but you didn’t sit down.

“Alex,” you said, standing next to him. “Can I talk to you?” He looked up at you, unsure of what you wanted to talk about, but got up anyway. You grabbed his hand and pulled him outside.

When you two got out there, you sat down on a bench, Alex following your move.

“Is everything alright?” You opened your phone and went to Instagram, showing Alex to comment Damiano left. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I just don’t know what to do, and it is tearing me apart. Do I delete it? Do I keep it? Do I argue with him?”

“Delete the comment, and, Y/N, please, block him on social media. You don’t have to block his number, but you should block him everywhere else.”

“Why not his number,” you asked.

“Because you need closure. At some point, you’re gonna want to text him or call him and try to get some understanding as to why he did what he did. You haven’t actually broken up yet. Maybe that’s how you finish off?”

After a moment of contemplation (again), you nodded your head slowly.

“Ok. Yeah, ok, I’ll do that.” You lowered your head and searched through your following to find Damiano’s account. You clicked the three dots at the top, and looked for the block button.

“You sure this is the right thing to do?”

“Yes. Want me to do it?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I can do it.”

You looked at the button for a second. You’ve never even thought of blocking him before. I’m your mind, he was the one. Now? Well, you’re blocking him because he cheated on you, so obviously your idea of him completely shifted.

I can do this.

Your hands started shaking slightly, your heart was beating like crazy.

I can do this.

Slowly, you moved your finger over the button.

Click it, it’ll be fine.

And, so, you did. You clicked the button.

You felt free.

———————————————————————-

Taglist for 3yrs — i’m so sorry if i couldn’t tag you!*

@mywritingonlyfans @nientedaridere @pingpongchamps @fairysums @kkjk @blackbluerose666 @thatmeganthing @teenyweenynightghost @ccweasley @lilchickie @katyldamusic @fanfictioncafe @tiaamberxx @butkutee @aboredassho @story-scribbler

*(for those who want to be tagged, please have stuff posted onto your blog and make sure that your blog isn’t censored <3)

[yuta-nakamots]

baby don’t like it - j.jh

Pairings - Idol!Jaehyun x Idol!Reader, Idol!Yuta x Idol!Reader

Genre - Idol!AU, Smut, Fluff, Slight Angst

Warnings - y/n is a cheater, phone sex/sexting, unprotected sex, cumshot

Summary - Relationships can get messy as seen by the way you’ve managed to fuck up one that you weren’t even officially in to begin with but at least your boyfriend seems pretty supportive of it all.

Word Count - 9.8k

A/N - Tagging @hunjins​ and @spookyhyuck​ who make their own guest appearances. This was originally supposed to be strictly a Jaehyun fic but then things got out of hand when I was writing for Yuta ahaha never trust me and Yuta like this.

Part of the 23 Days of Christmas Event hosted by @neosmutcollective​. Check out the masterlist here. 

After becoming an idol, there was a part of you that thought that you’d never find love and end up settling with raising a bunch of cats instead but somehow you had the luck of catching the eye of none other than Nakamoto Yuta when both of your groups were promoting alongside each other.

He had approached you first and blatantly told you that he would like to get to know you better and things quickly progressed from there. He took you on dates to so many nice places and it was like you had found your kindred spirit in him. It only felt right when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

In a little under a year, you found that the only drawback from dating him was that he was always busy. It may not seem that way to the public but he was constantly at work preparing things for future releases and you made sure to praise him for how well he dealt with the sheer amount of content he had to put out. Such situations led to a decrease in time for dates and having to settle for late night phone calls instead.

“I forgot to tell you that me and some of my other group mates were asked to be on a variety cooking show this week,” you excitedly told Yuta over the call, “it’s the one where the two groups compete against each other and do challenges periodically.”

You heard the familiar beep of Yuta’s water dispenser as he filled up yet another cup, clueless as to where his original cup went. “I think Jaehyun mentioned something about going on the show. Are you guys filming tomorrow?” Unsure of your schedule you checked your messages with your manager and confirmed with Yuta that you were indeed filming with his members. “I don’t know which other members are going but I can ask and let you know.”

“Oh, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” You told him, not wanting him to go out of the way for you.

Yuta chuckled on the other end of the line. “Just trying to make sure you’re prepared for whoever you’ll be working with.”

You shook your head though you realized he couldn’t see you anyways. “I don’t think they’ll be able to tell that we’re together from just seeing me cook, you know. It’s not like you’re there for me to stare at.”

“I’m flattered to know that you’d stare at me if I were there,” you heard him pick up his cup and open the refrigerator, most likely looking for a snack, “but keep your guard up anyways. You never know if they’ll mention my name or something like that.”

“If they mention your name it’s probably to tease your cooking abilities-”

“Are you saying I’m a bad cook? Because I can assure you that I am not.” Yuta defended with a huff as he closed the refrigerator, a telltale sign that he could not find anything of interest in there.

“I didn’t say that but if that’s what you think I was saying then sure.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” you could practically see him rolling his eyes, “I have to sleep soon since we have some photo shoot tomorrow and they didn’t like it when I came in all tired-looking last time.” He mumbled something about his dark circles starting to show more as he’s getting older. “Make sure you do some cooking research though,” he advises, “Jaehyun’s a really good cook so you’ll have some competition tomorrow.”

“Mmm okay, whatever you say,” sass evident in your voice, “I have faith in my members though so prepare to watch your own groupmates get shut down.”

Yuta quietly chuckled and you heard him flop into his bed. “Alright, love, I’ll get ready to see that,” he paused to adjust himself under his covers, “but no matter the result I’m sure the episode will come out okay because you’re there and I know you’ll do great.”

You smiled at his sweet comment. “Thank you, I trust that your other members will take good care of us too.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” Yuta jokes, “but again, I know you’ll do a good job on the show, have fun at filming tomorrow, I love you.”

“Good luck at the photo shoot, I love you too, goodnight.” With that, you hung up, already halfway to sleep yourself since you were only really safe to talk to Yuta at late hours of the night, not wanting to alert any of yours or his group mates to the status of your relationship together.

In the waiting room on set, you finally had some time to check your phone after a hectic morning of mapping out with your groupmates, Ivet and Liv, your game plan for the show. It was decided that the three of you would be making a type of mixed ramen with whatever spices and other ingredients you were able to win though you’d have to be careful and keep enough stuff in reserve to make side dishes. Looking at your phone, you saw that Yuta had sent you a few messages in the midst of all the chaos.

Yuta > y/n

8:23am: jaehyun said it’s him, johnny, doyoung, and haechan filming today

8:24am: i hope you prepared well because they certainly did

8:24am: i’d spoil their plans but that wouldn’t be as fun haha

8:25am: watch out for haechan and jaehyun though, they’re planning on distracting you guys

8:25am: i have to leave for my shoot now but keep me updated on how it goes!

y/n > Yuta

9:16am: i’m in the waiting room right now, sorry it took so long to reply

9:17am: but really? They just had to send the most competitive guys huh?

9:17am: i’m not gonna spoil our plans either so you’re gonna have to watch the episode to see what we came up with ;)

You group mate Ivet called out your name from the doorway, “we’re starting soon, you better come join us on set.”

“Coming.” You shouted back as you tucked your phone away into your bag and made sure your microphone pack was wired up correctly.

Once you were out on set, Yuta’s members came out shortly after and filming started. Everything was going smoothly, the group introductions went nicely and it was finally time for the starting challenge. All seven of you were on edge since this was one of the most important parts of creating a successful main dish.

“First on the table, we have udon noodles, salmon, and a loaf of bread.” The host announced, pulling the cloth off the table on the side in the middle of where all the rest of the cooking ingredients were.

“Oh my god we have to get the noodles.” Liv whispered to you, gripping your forearm as the challenge was about to be revealed.

“In order to win these, the challenger must do a dance from the opposing group and be deemed successful by at least two members. The first person to yell out their name may challenge on the count of 3. 1, 2 ,3.”

You shot up from your seat as soon as possible, yelling your name and shouting over Haechan calling out his own, confident in your abilities to dance an NCT song after watching fancams of your boyfriend a little too much. “I’ll dance to Work It.” You stated, mentally going over the choreography in your head.

The music began playing from a little before the chorus and you turned to face the cameras in the front, winking at the most centered one as you mouthed ‘work it’ and started dancing. You heard your groupmates erupt in screams from behind you along with side comments from the guys of ‘oh, she’s pretty good’ and ‘not bad, not bad’.

You ended the dance with a cute pose before returning to your seat next to your members. “Y/n how do you even know the dance to that song?” Ivet asked, totally in shock.

Shrugging your shoulders you replied, “it’s a cool song so I watched their videos a couple times and just picked up the dance along the way.”

“Nah, there’s no way you learned it just like that,” Liv interjected, “you’re so slow at picking up choreo, I know you must have purposely learned this.” Again, you shrugged your shoulders, readjusting the wire of the microphone that got jostled around while you were dancing.

“Johnny, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Haechan, what do you think?” The host prompted.

Johnny was the first to speak up. “I’m in the unit that promoted this song so I know the choreo the best out of us here today,” he stated to the host, “so personally, I’ll be a little more strict about details since the others don’t know the dance that well.”

He looked over at you as he began critiquing your performance. “You had good energy but you were putting emphasis on the wrong parts. It’s the second half of the phrase that should look more cool and chic rather than the first half.” He danced it himself to show you what he meant before turning back to the host. “I do not deem it as a pass but I liked her energy as she was doing it.”

“He’s so annoying.” Liv muttered under her breath. You put a hand on her knee in an attempt to calm her down.

Doyoung spoke up next as Johnny was sitting down. “She’s not a member of our group so we shouldn’t expect her to know all the little things. I think she should pass.”

“I don’t think she should,” Haechan interrupted, “the detail is what makes the dance memorable and unique from other dances like it and since that’s how our members performed it, if she’s supposed to be similar then she should do it the same way.”

“Ah, it’s a pity that we don’t have someone else from the unit here who could offer a more fair vote,” Doyoung commented, “Yuta would be better at this.” You felt your heart stop for a split second at the mention of your boyfriend.

“That’s one vote for pass and two votes for fail. Jaehyun, what is your vote?” The host doled out.

Jaehyun cleared his throat before speaking, looking over at you with a shy smile. “I think y/n did good, actually-” Ivet let out a shout of joy, since that meant you won the first batch of ingredients, before quickly covering her mouth out of embarrassment. “Like Doyoung said, she’s not a member of our group so she wouldn’t know the details. Y/n had the same energy and feel that our members did and I think that’s the most important part.”

“Alright, so with that, the members of NCT have deemed this challenge as a success. Congratulations to y/n for winning the first ingredients, you may all start preparing your dishes.” You smiled over to the four of them, thanking them as you collected your prize.

As you set down the large packages on the counter, Ivet nudges you with her elbow. “Hey, Jaehyun keeps looking over here. Should we give him something? I feel kind of bad since he basically allowed us to win.”  

You looked up and sure enough, Jaehyun was staring right at you. He smiled at you as the two of you made eye contact before shyly turning away and busying himself in conversation with his members on what spices were available and what their best options were. “Should we give them the salmon? We really only need the noodles and we can save the bread to make a small desert.” You proposed to your groupmates.

“Wait, why are we giving them our prize?” Liv questioned as she started opening up the udon noodles.

“I’m just trying to be nice.” You mumbled, grabbing a bowl for the noodles. “I don’t want us to look mean if we just hog everything and let them suffer, you know?”

Liv shook her head, “ugh, fine. Give them the salmon but tell them not to expect any more help from us. This is a competition, y/n.”

You roll your eyes at her before picking up the slab of salmon, telling her “it’s not like we know how to prepare fish anyways” as you leave to hand it over.

As you approach them, Johnny notices you first. “Hey hey hey, no stealing our ideas.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you tell him, “I just came over to give this to you guys since we don’t plan on using it.”

“Thank you-” Doyoung began, only to get cut off by Haechan.

“Don’t accept help from the enemy!” He exclaimed.

You raised an eyebrow at them. “Take it or leave it.”

Haechan opened his mouth to speak but Jaehyun beat him to it. “We’ll take it. Thank you, y/n.” The smile he gave you was so cute, you couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit charmed by him and his dimples.

After a few more challenges, both teams had a pretty even amount of supplies and your groups’ preparations for the soup broth and impromptu chocolate bread pudding desert are underway. As for the opposing team, they had decided on making salmon rolls along with a fruit parfait using the other ingredients they had won.

While you were breaking apart the bread into smaller pieces for the pudding and your members gathered the necessary baking ingredients, Jaehyun stopped by on his way to the pantry area where your members currently were. “Need any help?” His low voice coming from behind you causing you to jump.

“N-no, I’m fine,” you stuttered, trying to calm your now racing pulse though you’re not sure if it was because he scared you or from how close he was to you, “shouldn’t you be helping your own team?”

“Yeah but there’s four of us and three of you, it’s a little unfair to you guys.” He nodded his head over to where Ivet and Liv were arguing about whether to use white or brown sugar.

You scoffed at him. “Excuse me, but we are fully capable of pulling off this win. Thank you for the offer, but no, I do not want your help.” You noticed the slight smile he had on his face as he backed away and you realized that you had stopped tearing apart the bread while you were talking to him.

“Hey! I know your plan,” you called out, “I won’t be distracted by you again so watch it.” He giggled as he returned to his members, your own giving him death stares after hearing your exchange with him.

Not much else happened after the final challenges and as both teams approached the final stages of preparation, you noticed the glances going back and forth between both groups and they observed the activity and progress of the opponent. You caught Jaehyun looking at you a couple times and made faces at him to mock him, which he made back.

“Stop flirting with him, you guys are so obvious oh my gosh.” Ivet muttered.

You let out a gasp of shock. “What do you mean flirting? I am not flirting with him at all.”

“Yes you are,” she rolls her eyes in irritation, “I see all the faces you guys are making at each other and I’m pretty sure the other guys noticed it too.”

“Well then that means you’re distracted too if you’re watching us.” You shot back.

“Oh, just shut up and get back to work.” Liv huffed. “If you’re dating him you can just tell us, you know.”

You froze as you thought of Yuta. “I am not dating Jaehyun.” You said through gritted teeth.

“It sure seems like it thought.” Ivet retorted.

Once time ran out, both teams presented their dishes to the production staff who would be voting on the winner for today. Your team presented first as per Johnny’s request of ‘ladies first’. They seemed to like your dishes so you were fairly confident in your chances of winning.

When the boys came to present their dishes you were honestly shocked at how good the food looked. You had to give credit to Doyoung who took charge of most of it. “Johnny and Haechan worked on the fruit parfait while Jaehyun and I made the salmon rolls from our memory of making it with our member Yuta back when he shared his mother’s techniques with us.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Yuta trying to direct his members around in the kitchen since he rarely ever cooks in the first place. “Why are you smiling like that?” Ivet asks, snapping you out of your imagination. “Are you looking at Jaehyun again?” You reach over and pinch her side, effectively shutting her up.

As the production staff gathers up their votes, both teams are given time to make their closing comments. Liv spoke for your group since she was the oldest out of the three of you. “We had a lot of fun today getting to cook with each other and we would like to thank all the members of NCT and all the staff who worked with us today. It was a pleasure to be able to come on to this show and we hope to be back again soon.”

Haechan stepped forward to speak for his members. “We too enjoyed being on the show today and we would also like to thank our competitors and the staff for taking such good care of us. It was a new experience to get to do something like this and I hope NCT can come on again with and show the talents of the rest of our members.”

“Any other closing comments?” The host asked.

“As a fan of NCT, it was an honor to work with you guys today and I hope we will get to work together again in the future.” Ivet blurted out, making the studio burst out in laughter from how quick she spoke and the way she covered her face again.

“I really enjoyed getting to know y/n, Ivet, and Liv today and I look forward to working with you guys again no matter what it may be.” Jaehyun quickly said, taking the attention off of Ivet.

“I think the staff have counted up their votes and are ready to announce the winner for today.” The host announced, wrapping up the conversation. “And now, the dishes that won the hearts of the staff are…”

You reached to hold the hands of your group mates as the director wrote on a whiteboard. When they flipped it around, you let out a breath of relief as you read the winning dish. “The udon and the bread pudding! Congratulations to Liv, y/n, and Ivet for being the champions of this episode.”

Liv pulled the two of you in for a hug as you all celebrated your victory meanwhile Haechan came to the front and was asking the staff if they’re sure they counted the votes correctly as his older members laughed behind him.

Filming ends and both teams head back to their respective waiting rooms. You stopped by the bathroom first before joining your members but on your way out you ran straight into Jaehyun. “Sorry, I wasn’t being careful.” You apologize, moving out of his way and continuing on your path.

“Oh, it’s okay, and actually, I was looking for you so it’s more than okay. I mean not more than okay but I mean that it’s-”

“Jaehyun, why were you looking for me?” You ask, successfully saving him from his rambling and future embarrassment.

He reaches a hand behind his neck as the other goes inside his back pocket while his eyes flit around nervously. “I, um, I was going to ask you for your number if that’s okay with you.”

Your brain went into overdrive as you thought about your options. You could say no to be safe though it might draw suspicion since everyone saw how the two of you were interacting earlier. Or you could give it to him and tell him to keep things on the low though it makes another opening for someone to find out about you and Yuta.

“Yeah, sure.” You tell him and you watch as he breaks into a smile, his dimples showing once again. The two of you quickly exchanged numbers before heading off to your own members. On the way back to your dorm, you received a message from an unknown number.

Unknown > y/n

5:58pm: hi, this is jaehyun :)

y/n > unknown

5:59pm: hey, it’s y/n

You saw him start typing but you exited his chat to send a message to your boyfriend instead telling him how your day went.

y/n > Yuta

6:00pm: i beat your members just like i said i would ;)

Yuta > y/n

6:00pm: haha congratulations!

6:00pm: I’ll look forward to watching the episode when it comes out

6:00pm: I paused my anime episode just for you, consider yourself blessed

y/n > Yuta

6:01pm: yeah okay, i’m blessed by nakamoto yuta or whatever lol

6:01pm: did you want to call tonight?

Yuta > y/n

6:01pm: no, i got a headache during the shoot so I’m gonna sleep early tonight

6:01pm: tomorrow we can. I don’t think I have anything

y/n > Yuta

6:02pm: awwww, my baby

6:02pm: i hope you feel better soon <3

6:02pm: get some sleep and we can figure it out when you wake up

6:02pm: i love you

Yuta > y/n

6:03pm: don’t call me that

6:03pm: but thank you love you too

Jaehyun had been sending you messages while you were texting Yuta so you finally went back to your chat with him, feeling the excitement of talking to your boyfriend leave you.

Jaehyun > y/n

6:01pm: i just wanted to say that i thought you looked really pretty today

6:01pm: not that you don’t look pretty everyday but you know what I mean

6:02pm: i’m actually a fan of your group so today was really fun for me

6:03pm: did you maybe want to meet up sometime and get lunch?

y/n > Jaehyun

6:04pm: thank you, you’re quite handsome yourself

6:05pm: we’re actually working on a comeback so i don’t really have too much time these days

Jaehyun > y/n

6:06pm: oh? What’s the album like?

y/n > Jaehyun

6:08pm: we’re going for a darker concept this time

Jaehyun > y/n

6:09pm: that sounds fun!

When you didn’t see him typing again, you closed out the app and went to watch an episode of the anime Yuta had recommended to you a while ago. Jaehyun didn’t text you back for the rest of the night.

You went for the next day without texting your boyfriend but since you didn’t have any activities scheduled for the day, you binge watched nearly a whole season of the anime he had recommended to you until he finally texted you in the evening.

Yuta > y/n

7:16pm: i don’t think i can call tonight. I didn’t finish my chinese homework sorry

7:17pm: i want to talk to you so fucking bad though

7:17pm: i really miss seeing you and getting to touch you

y/n > Yuta

7:18pm: wait hold on

7:18pm: how do you go from talking about learning chinese to being all whiny

Yuta > y/n

7:19pm: it’s because

7:20pm: i miss you

7:20pm: and i’m horny

You were glad you were just lying down in bed because you weren’t expecting him to send you a picture of his bulge, the outline of his hard cock obvious in the soccer shorts he was wearing.

y/n > Yuta

7:23pm: you can’t just send that without a warning!

7:23pm: what if i was doing something huh?

7:23pm: are you even wearing underwear??

Yuta > y/n

7:24pm: no heehee

7:24pm: wanna see?

7:24pm: i know the answer is yes ;)

He sent you another picture that looked almost entirely black but when you opened it, you were greeted with the sight of your boyfriend seated at his desk with his legs open and facing towards the mirror by his closet. He had pulled the fabric of one leg of his shorts over his dick, exposing it to you with his free hand wrapped around the middle of it.

y/n > Yuta

7:28pm: what if the answer was no

Yuta > y/n

7:28pm: well you took an awfully long time to respond so i know you like it

y/n > Yuta

7:29pm: shut up or you’re not getting one back

You smiled to yourself as you saw the typing bubble disappear before sitting up and pulling your shirt off. You held your phone up and covered your nipples with your free arm, effectively pushing your breasts up as you bit your lip seductively.

Taking a couple with a variation of angles, poses, and facial expression, you sent the first one and waited for a response. He didn’t respond when you thought he would so you cleared the app and reopened it again realizing that the picture didn’t send so you sent it again.

Yuta > y/n

7:36pm: you’re so fucking hot

7:36pm: i can’t believe i get to call you mine

7:37pm: you’re literally a goddess

7:37pm: fuck can you send another one. I’ll send a voice recording

You sent him the rest of the ones you took and within a minute he sent you another picture of him accompanied by an audio message. Opening the picture first, you noticed how much more red his cock was, the veins more prominent than before. Your mouth watered at the sight of his length and the shine of precum at his tip. He had pulled up his shirt, revealing his abs and navel piercing, his hand tight around the base of his cock.

Making sure your earbuds were connected, you hit play on the voice message. “Y/n, baby, I miss you so fucking much. I wish we were together right now. I’d fuck you so hard that you’d only be able to say my name.” You reached a hand into your underwear as you heard him start moving his hand on his dick.

You inserted two digits in and started fingering yourself to his words. “I miss how warm your pussy is around me. I miss the way you moan when I fuck you just the way you like it. I miss feeling you cum on my cock and the way you take me so well.” Your fingers were in no way close in length or thickness to his cock but you hadn’t gotten off in so long that it wasn’t hard to get yourself worked up.

Yuta’s voice choked up in the recording for a bit and he let out a moan. “I-I miss seeing you so full and dripping with my cum. Fuck, I need to cum so badly.” You pressed your fingers as deep as they could go and you felt your pleasure starting to build.

You opened your camera and recorded yourself with your fingers deep inside of your pussy, you hand getting covered with your juices. “My fingers aren’t anything like your cock. I miss how good you fuck me and how deep your reach inside of me.” You paused as you brought your phone closer to your glistening folds.

“I love the way you make me cum and the way you fill me up so good.” You brought your phone back up, to get your face and naked torso in view. “Cum for me, Yuta.”

You continued fingering yourself to the voice recording he sent until you received a video from him. As soon as you opened it, his hand was already picking up speed on his length. “You miss my cock, baby? You miss cumming on it?” He let out a groan as he played with the tip of his length, his hand becoming slick with his own precum.

“Fuck, I’m so hard right now and it’s all because of you. I can’t wait to fuck you senseless the next time I see you. I-Fuck,” he started rapidly jerking himself off, “I want you to cum for me. I want to fill you up with my cum and watch it drip out of you. Ah fuck-” you watched as he covered himself in his own cum. On his abs, his hand, his thighs, and you felt a surge of arousal as you watched it drip down over his body, making his skin glow.

You dropped your phone in your haste to record yourself cumming for him and when you picked it up, you saw the picture that you sent earlier but not the video and previous messages from Yuta. Looking up at the name at the top of your screen, you broke out into a state of panicking realizing it wasn’t Yuta that you had sent the picture to. It was Jaehyun.

Jaehyun > y/n

7:37pm: damn. I didn’t know you were so sexy

7:38pm: i also didn’t know you were one to send nudes but i’m not one to say anything

y/n > Jaehyun

7:38pm: oh? You don’t seem like it either

Jaehyun > y/n

7:38pm: want proof?

y/n > Jaehyun

7:38pm: sure

You went back into your chat with Yuta, not wanting him to worry about you or question why you were taking so long to respond to him.

y/n > Yuta

7:39pm: fuck i thought i recorded myself cumming for you but i guess i didn’t hit record

7:40pm: i’m sorry :’(

Yuta > y/n

7:40pm: ah, it’s okay, as long as i know you came, I'm satisfied

7:41pm: besides, i have like four more pictures to look at when I feel lonely now

y/n > Yuta

7:41pm: ugh you’re so weird

7:42pm: but i kind of have a headache now so i think i’m gonna go to sleep soon

Yuta > y/n

7:43pm: i’m weird and you like it

7:43pm: go to sleep if you’re not feeling good though. Text me when you wake up

7:43pm: sleep well, i love you <3

y/n > Yuta

7:44pm: thanks, love you too

Checking back in on your chat with Jaehyun, you were surprised to see that he had actually sent you a photo. He was only in his underwear as he stood in front of his mirror in a similar setup to that of your boyfriend’s. He had raised one eyebrow and his tongue poked the inside of his cheek while he grabbed at the outline of his clothed cock.

y/n > Jaehyun

7:46pm: you’re pretty sexy too, i must admit

Jaehyun > y/n

7:46pm: like what you see?

y/n > Jaehyun

7:47pm: hell yeah i do

You felt a sudden rush of anxiety and worried about what Yuta would think if he found out about you and Jaehyun so you muted your notifications from Jaehyun and left your phone to charge as you took a shower.

Ever since that night where you accidentally sent Jaehyun a picture of yourself, the two of you have been texting on the down low. You hadn’t told Yuta because you were afraid of ruining your relationship with him or getting in the way of his relationship with Jaehyun.

Honestly, you just hoped Jaehyun would lose interest in you and find a new girl so you could let this whole thing be put to rest and tell Yuta once you were ready. But for now you entertained Jaehyun because you didn’t want things to be awkward the next time you saw him, especially now that the end of year award shows were approaching and you’d probably run into him somewhere at an event like that.

One of the award shows your group was set to attend was in Tokyo and Yuta had informed you that NCT would also be attending. “You know, since we’ll both be in Japan soon, how about I take you out on a date after the festival ends?” He proposed over another late night call.

“I like the sound of that,” a smile on your face as you spoke, “when are you leaving?”

“I leave the day after tomorrow. How about you?”

“I leave tomorrow so I guess I’ll be getting to the hotel before you.”

“Are you sharing a room with anyone?”

“Yeah, probably. You?”

“No, they gave us our own rooms this time around,” Yuta paused as he giggled, “you know what that means?”

You let out a similar giggle at how cute your boyfriend was. “Sexy time?”

“You know it.” You swore you could see him smirking through the phone. “But I’ll text you my room number once I get there so you can come by and we can plan out a day for me to take you out.”

“Sounds good-”

“Hey Yuta- oh, sorry. Are you talking to someone?” You heard the unmistakable sound of Jaehyun’s voice.

“Uh, yeah,” Yuta started, his voice showing how unsure he was, “just talking to a friend in Japan that I’m thinking of meeting while we’re there.”

Jaehyun let out what sounded like a noise of approval. “Oh, okay. I needed to ask you something but I’ll come back later.” You heard the door close as he left.

“Gosh, that guy,” Yuta breathed out once he was gone, “he’s been acting differently lately. I just don’t know what’s up with him. He’s always on his phone these days.”

You let out a light laugh. “You sound like an old man, Yuta. Though I should get going now in case he comes back.”

“Yes, you’re right. But, don’t forget, Japan, room number, then come over. Okay?”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too. Can’t wait to be with you again.”

Currently, you were dressed in sweats and one of Yuta’s shirts, even though you’ve had it for nearly four months now, after a day of just touring the hotel and performance venue as other idols began arriving. You were sure Yuta’s plane landed two hours ago so he should be at the hotel already but he hadn’t texted yet and you had started dozing off which made you worried that you’d fall asleep without seeing him. Just in case he forgot, you decided to send him a message asking what room he’s in.

You felt your phone vibrate after what felt like a minute but when you saw the time, you realized you had fallen asleep for about an hour. Reading the message on the screen, you saw the room number 412 and pulled yourself out of bed, making sure to grab your key card before you left.

When you arrived at room 412, you knocked on the door excitedly knowing that Yuta was waiting on the other side and you were more than ready to tackle him in a hug after not seeing him for nearly three months because of his own group promotions. What you didn’t expect was for Jaehyun to appear instead, shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on.

You both stared at each other in shock before Jaehyun pulled you in, looking both ways to make sure no one saw the two of you. Once the door was shut he stepped away and asked “so, why exactly did you ask for my room number and come over this late at night?”

“I-uh, hm.” You didn’t know how to get yourself out of this but the way Jaehyun was looking at you told you that you wouldn’t be able to leave until both of you were exhausted.

“I take it that you were tired of just looking at a screen and wanted to experience the real thing in person.” He looked at you with an eyebrow raised. “Because I sure do.”

You saw the opportunity he was giving you and took it. “I like the way you think,” you closed the distance between both of you, “just don’t you dare tell anyone we’re doing this and I won’t either.”

“My lips are sealed,” he promised, giving you a playful smile, “with yours!” His arms wrapped around you as he pulled you in, greeting your lips with a warm kiss. You quickly melted into his kiss, one of your hands coming to rest on his firm chest. “Bed?” You nod and let him lead you to his queen sized bed.

He sits and falls backward on the side of his bed, pulling you to rest over him before kissing you once more. Your hands tangle themselves in his soft hair while his hands make their way to your ass, gripping your cheeks firmly before gently kneading at them. You shift your thigh to rest comfortably between his and that’s when you feel his length, already hot and hard beneath you. “You’re this worked up already?”

“I could see the outline of your nipples through your shirt and I just couldn’t stop my mind, sorry.” His cheeks started turning pink as you gave him an accusatory glare.

You shook your head before sliding a hand down over his chest, stopping at his solid abs. “I’m only forgiving you because you’re cute and sexy, but look at my eyes next time you pervert.”

“Yes ma’am oh-” He gasped when your hand went under the waistband of his sweatpants and started playing with the head of his cock. “Fuck that feels so good.”

You felt him twitch under your grasp and you realized just how large he was. “You’re fucking huge.” Your hand traveled further down his length. “I knew you were big but I didn’t know you were this big.”

“You wanna see it?” He teased though he threw his head back and moaned when you rubbed the tip of his cock.

Satisfied with his reaction, you pulled his sweats down and he lifted his hips to help you, his hard length hitting his chiseled body as he sunk back into the bed. Jaehyun let out a sigh of relief as your hand wrapped around his member and you felt it twitch within your grasp, causing you to meet his eyes with a smile.

You noticed his ears turning a light shade of pink as you sat back on your knees to pull off your own shirt, which you remembered actually belonged to your loving boyfriend, throwing it to the side and nodding at the man in front of you as an invitation from the way his eyes were suddenly glued to your breasts.  

He sat up and pulled you into his lap, attaching his lips to your sensitive buds, alternating between kissing them and gently sucking on them as he teased them with his tongue. Your arm came to rest around his broad shoulders and you rested your cheek against his soft hair. You reached down to tease at the tip of his cock once more, letting out a noise of surprise as Jaehyun lightly bit into the skin of your breast. “What was that for?”

“It’s sensitive, you know.” He looked up at you, his hair falling into his eyes as he left kisses up your chest and neck while cupping and kneading at your breasts.

Brushing his hair away from his face, you told him “yes I do know, but I can’t do much else when you’ve got me stuck like this.”

His lips pulled away from your breast with a pop and he slid down beneath you so that he was laying down once again, his aching length practically begging for attention. “Here, ride me then.”

Giving him a devilish smile, you leaned off to the side to slide your own sweats and underwear off before seating yourself mere inches above his warm pulsing cock, lining it up with your entrance and slowly sinking down on it. You nearly got goosebumps from the way he filled you, the stretch stinging in the most pleasurable way.

You let out a moan as you fell forward, your hands landing upon his firm chest, bracing you as you began slowly moving on his length. Jaehyun groaned as you rose up to the point where only the head of his member was inside of you before lowering yourself back down, sheathing his cock in your warmth.

His hands found their way to your hips and he helped to guide your movements as you began to speed up, enjoying the way his length seemed to hit all the right spots. You threw your head back as Jaehyun began meeting your movements, his hips thrusting up from below you, pushing himself even deeper into your core.

Even when it was reaching the edge of being too much, causing you to stop your motions, he continued rocking his hips into you and went even harder when he noticed your still frame above him with your eyes shut in pleasure. “Babygirl enjoying my cock that much?”

“Shut up and just fuck me, Jaehyun.” Had your eyes been open, you would’ve seen the shit-eating grin that appeared on his face before he caged you in his arms and flipped the two of you over, his length never once leaving your warm walls.

You gasped as your back fell onto the bed, your legs unintentionally wrapping around his waist, bringing him even closer to you and burying his cock even deeper inside of you. Jaehyun braced himself on his forearms as he began thrusting into you, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breath tickling your shoulder with every exhale.

The new position allowed him to adjust the speed to his liking, which was considerably faster than before, leaving you a moaning mess with one hand gripping onto his bicep and the other on his abs. The room was filled with the sounds of skin against skin and his lips on yours, the latter effectively muting the noises that either of you made.

When Jaehyun thrusted particularly hard, you accidentally bit into his plump bottom lip, causing him to let out a grunt before he pulled away and slowed down his movements. “You good?”

“Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to bite you.” You apologized, your eyes falling from his face down to where his member was still dipping inside of you.

“Guess we’re even then.” He remarked playfully as he grabbed your calves from around his waist and brought them to rest upon his shoulder.

You breathed out a single “fuck” from the way the new angle allowed him to hit different spots in you. You were just about nearing your orgasm and could tell Jaehyun was too from the way you could feel his length twitching within your walls when your phone suddenly rang.

Jaehyun paused as you reached over to grab your phone from the nightstand, only gently pushing into you as you read the caller ID. “Who is it?” He asked, a slight smile appearing on his face.

“My, -uh, roommate,” you tell him, instead of reading Yuta’s name that was currently lighting up the screen, still fighting to keep your volume down as he continues rolling his hips into you.

“Answer it.”

“What? No way.”

“Go ahead, answer it.”

You shoot him a look and he pulls out nearly all the way with an eyebrow raised at you, threatening to answer the call. Huffing out of indignance, you accept the call and raise the phone to your ear after making sure the volume was as low as possible.

“He-hello?”

You hear Yuta’s voice over the line as Jaehyun starts to slowly rut into you once more. “Where are you?”

“I’m with my manager right now-” you nearly moan from Jaehyun purposely thrusting long and hard into you, but cover it by clearing your throat, “talking about the schedule for tomorrow.” Your voice raised at the end as Jaehyun delivered another powerful stroke.

“Are you okay?” Yuta questioned upon hearing your intonation.

“Yeah, um, I’m just not feeling all that good from the uh, fuck-” you glared at Jaehyun and placed a hand on his pelvis to soften his movements, “the traveling and activity.”

Yuta hummed in understanding and you felt bad for lying to him like this. “We can figure out another time to meet up and plan our date. You should go to sleep and get some rest, I don’t want you getting any worse.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you-” you pull the phone away from you as Jaehyun starts to speed up again and you cover your mouth with your free hand, letting out a muffled groan.

You brought the phone back to your ear to hear the tail end of Yuta’s “I love you” before telling him the same and quickly hanging up.

“You tell your groupmates ‘I love you?’” Jaehyun asked, not even bothering to slow down.

“Yes, and you don’t?” He rolled his eyes at you, only leaning down further, making his cock brush against your most sensitive areas. “Fuck, right there!”

Your walls flutter around his length as he begins mercilessly pounding into you, seeking his own release while you bring a hand down to rub at your clit, sending yourself into an orgasm. The spasming and clenching of your walls around his cock eventually pushes Jaehyun to his end as well though he quickly pulls out and cums onto your stomach instead, the warm strings of white coating your skin.

He lets out a string of groans and curses as he continues jerking himself until the last drops of cum are dripping from the tip of his length. He reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a tissue and hastily cleaning off both of you before he collapses into the bed next to you.

“I’m gonna go wash up in the bathroom.” You inform him, sliding out of bed as he pulls the covers over his large frame.

“Mmm, alright, don’t take too long.” You could tell he was already getting drowsy from the way he drew out his words.

You picked up your clothes from the floor and took a quick shower in the bathroom but by the time you came back out, you knew Jaehyun was knocked out from the way you could hear his faint snores. Checking your phone on the nightstand, you saw two messages from Yuta and you knew you couldn’t keep this going any longer.

Yuta > y/n

11:43pm: text me how you’re feeling when you wake up

11:43pm: I can go run and get stuff for you at a convenience store before rehearsals

As much as you enjoyed the mindblowing sex that Jaehyun gave you, you knew that your heart laid with Yuta. You picked up the pen and notepad resting on the desk in the corner of the room, writing Jaehyun a note before quietly leaving the room.

Jaehyun, Thanks for everything but I can’t continue our relationship like this. I feel that we are best off as friends and I hope you can understand and respect my wishes. I’m sorry. -y/n

You made sure to text Yuta that you were feeling fine, still just a little bit tired but you weren’t sick, much to his relief. During stage rehearsals later that day, your group just so happened to pass by him and his members as they waited for their turn.

Yuta’s hand brushed against yours and you quickly apologized, matching the smile on his face as the two of you finally saw each other in person for the first time in months. You continued past the other members in an elated state, not even realizing the way Jaehyun had been staring at you.

“Did you see how Jaehyun was staring at you?” Ivet questioned, excitement written all over her face. “What if he has a crush on you, oh my gosh-”

“Yeah, did you guys ever talk to each other again after the show?” Liv added.

You shook your head, making a face of disgust. “Him? He’s not my type. We talked and I got his number but nothing happened.”

“You got his-” You covered Ivet’s mouth with your hand, noticing the way people around you were starting to look at you and your group as you all headed back to the waiting rooms.

You were glad that your members quickly dropped the topic once back in the waiting room, opting to play games on their phone or someone’s Switch instead while biding time as your managers came to pick you guys up. You decided to leave Yuta a message to make yourself feel better though you made sure that you were texting the right person this time.

y/n > Yuta

3:27pm: what’s your room number? Sorry I forgot to ask last night

3:27pm: I’ll be over once you guys are done

You didn’t expect him to respond for a while, especially since he just went on and you knew he had to stay later that day to record interviews and other content in Japanese. Time couldn’t go by any slower as you laid in bed and switched through apps, waiting for Yuta to be done with rehearsals. Your excitement couldn’t be hidden when you finally received his message later in the evening.

Yuta > y/n

8:32pm: just got back. 417 i left the door slightly open

y/n > Yuta

8:33pm: coming

8:33pm: that’s dangerous you know. Someone can just walk in

Yuta > y/n

8:34pm: then you better hurry ;)

It felt as if you were a little kid again, the way you could barely control your pace as you walked throughout the hotel, your body itching to sprint through the halls to get to your boyfriend sooner. When you quietly entered his room, you saw him standing by his bed with his back towards the wall, probably organizing his backpack out of boredom.

Rushing up behind him once you were close enough, you wrapped your arms around his waist and began tickling him, causing him to erupt in his infectious laughter as he squirmed around in your arms. He eventually freed himself, only to turn around and come right back into your arms. “My love, I’ve missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re actually in my arms right now.”

You allowed yourself to sink into his hold and inhale the scent of him that you missed having on all of the shirts you’ve stolen from him. “Can we just lie down together and go to sleep instead?”

“I wish, but you know we can’t,” he sighed, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t cuddle for now.” Yuta pushed you onto the bed, jumping on after you and rolling around with you in his arms. Once the two of you were comfortably tangled with the other, Yuta began pulling up places to go, showing you pictures and talking about things to do there.

“So at Harajuku there’s tons of clothing stores and really good food vendors too. There’s even some cat cafes we could go to and then-”

“Okay, I get it, we’re going to Harajuku, calm down.” You laughed, seeing how excited he became. True to your boyfriend’s nature, he quickly gave up trying to plan out a whole day of activities and choosing to simply make a list of places to go like Yoyogi Park, or the Yayoi Kusama Museum, and the previously agreed upon Harajuku.

After compiling the list, you were calculating how much time you had left before your roommate would question your whereabouts when Yuta suddenly turned to you. “So tomorrow, some of the members were thinking of going out to get lunch and I was thinking that maybe I could bring you along…” His voice trailed off as he looked at you for your opinion.

“You want to introduce me to your members?” Your eyes were wide at the thought of having to talk to Taeyong, who you absolutely looked up to or Johnny, who just scared you from his appearance alone. But most of all, Jaehyun.

Yuta nodded his head, his earrings making the faintest jingling sounds. “Not all of them will be there but I think we’ve been together long enough, right? It’s like meeting your in-laws kind of.” You weren’t too keen on the idea of seeing Jaehyun so soon, especially after what happened earlier today with him but you agreed anyway, not wanting to let Yuta down.

All throughout the morning, you were filled with anxiety as you thought about going to lunch with Yuta and his members but you followed through regardless because if Yuta was ready to make this next step in your relationship then you should take it with him. You met him in his room and went down to the parking garage with him, only reaching out for his hand once you were sure there was no one else around.

As you approached his members, Yuta called out to them. “Guys, this is y/n,” you suddenly felt nervous at the way all three men turned to look at you, “I’ve been dating her for about a year now and I felt that this would be the right time to finally introduce her.”

The end of Yuta’s sentence was cut off as Jaehyun suddenly began coughing and pulled out his phone, looking anywhere but at you though you didn’t have much time to dwell on it. “Hi y/n, I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you,“ you and Taeyong both laughed from his cheery attitude as you shook his hand, “I hope Yuta has been treating you well though I’m sure you wouldn’t have stayed with him for so long if he didn’t.”

“She actually idolizes you,” Yuta quickly interjected with a chuckle, “she probably wants to date you more than she wants to date me.”

You looked at him in disbelief though you were torn out of it by Haechan who commented, “we all do, she’s not special.”

“Hey, behave,” your boyfriend scolded, “that’s Haechan, the idiot,” Haechan was about to open his mouth to complain but was stopped by Yuta’s finger on his lips as he shushed him, “and over there is Jaehyun.” He looked up and gave a quick wave with an expressionless face before staring back at his phone.

Once you were all seated at the restaurant and waiting for the food, Taeyong began asking more about you and your relationship with Yuta who was currently sandwiched in between the two of you. “So how did the two of you actually meet?”

“She came up to me-”

“He told me that he-”

You both turned to each other with the same scowl adorning your faces. Placing a hand on his thigh you raised an eyebrow at him. He did the same to you before giving in. “Alright fine, I went up to her first because I thought she was cute,” Yuta explained, “remember that one episode on Music Bank or something when I said the girl in the green dress was cute? That was her.”

Taeyong and Haechan both seemed to have a moment of realization meanwhile Jaehyun was busy staring daggers into Yuta’s hand on your thigh. You could see him out of the corner of your eyes because he was seated right in front of you though you pretend as if you didn’t.

“What’s Yuta like as a boyfriend?” Haechan asked, a mischievous look on his face.

Yuta turned to you, his signature Chesire cat grin appearing. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better than him,” you state simply while maintaining eye contact with him, “he always does his best to take care of me even when you guys are really busy and he gives some of the best advice whenever I need help with something work-related. I genuinely feel that I want to be with him for as long as possible.”

“Yikes, get a room,” Haechan joked after seeing the way you smiled at his fellow member while talking about him.

“Jaehyun, are you okay?” Taeyong looked over at the said member with worry. You did as well and the look he gave you could only be described as one of pain. He nodded his head and flashed a quick smile at everyone else before his gaze lingered back on you and then back to his phone.

Only when Yuta was wrapped up in conversation with the other two did you nudge Jaehyun’s foot across from you. He did not react so you did it again and he looked up at you with the same emotionless stare. You didn’t even get the chance to do anything because at that moment, the food for your table arrived. Everyone lets out remarks at how good the food looks and you begin eating after warning your boyfriend not to inhale his food, much to Taeyong and Haechan’s amusement.

Later on, Taeyong brings up something about their performance, bringing Haechan and Jaehyun into the conversation but Yuta leans over and whispers, “I know about you and Jaehyun,” you momentarily freeze though you give him a look of confusion, “I’m not stupid, you know. I know you two were talking.”

You all but choked on the mouthful of noodles you were chewing but you brushed it off as Yuta telling you a funny joke. The others ask to hear it too and you were glad Yuta was a quick thinker and was able to make one up on the spot. You were surprised that Yuta claimed he knew about your relationship with Jaehyun but didn’t seem to be upset. It was honestly scaring you at this point.

Once the bill was paid and the group of you were in the car heading back to the hotel, Yuta starts up the conversation again as you were both in the back row of the van. “I wouldn’t have minded if you wanted to have fun with Jaehyun for a bit, you could have just told me.”

“Okay, how much do you actually know?”

“I know that you were in his room getting the sense fucked out of you when you should have been with me, if that’s what you’re asking about,” you felt yourself go into a state of panic though really, you were just confused about this whole thing, “you know, I wouldn’t mind including him in our relationship sexually. You just had to ask.”

Your eyes go wide at his words, unsure if this was all really happening or if it was just a dream. “Are you actually being serious right now?”

Yuta shrugged his shoulders and giggled, “I don’t know. Am I?”

[deja-you]

foreign affairs | part three | d.c.

m. de lafayette x reader

summary: In 2020, Representative Y/n L/n is up for reelection. Lafayette, Y/n’s former best friend and current French socialite and playboy, decides this is the time to walk back into her life.

word count: 5.3k

author’s note: this is the last chapter of this series! it’s been so much fun writing this for you guys, hope you’ve enjoyed it. fair warning, this chapter/ending is pretty melancholic. 

trailer | previous

Although his grandmother had wanted him to be, Lafayette wasn’t Catholic.

Like any other Parisian, he might attend a special Christmas or Easter service, but he wouldn’t call himself a Catholic. His grandmother had always wanted him to be more devout in his faith. Since his father had died when he was young and his mother was a young woman just starting off her political career, his grandmother raised him for the most part. 

She was an organist and would play for different churches every weekend, never finding a church she liked well enough to stay very long. His grandmother had even taught Lafayette to play a few songs. At one point, she had bought Lafayette a crucifix on a chain to keep with him. 

It wasn’t one of those cool, sleek chains you would see people wearing proudly. It was a silver chain with dark beads on it, something you might see an old lady wearing. A silver chain with a tiny Jesus on a tiny cross. He had lost it almost immediately. 

Lafayette had always had a habit of misplacing items. In high school, he had conveniently lost his homework on multiple occasions. He was always losing just one half of a pair of socks. Could you imagine how stupid he looked walking around with one black sock and one white sock on? He couldn’t even remember how many times he had woken up hungover with no idea of where his wallet or keys were. 

The point is, Lafayette was a grown man who was used to losing things. Yet, no matter how many items he lost, he still wasn’t prepared to lose Y/n.

And yes, he knew it was all his fault. Everything seemed to be his fault these days. Lafayette wasn’t even denying that he had made another huge mistake. What kind of idiot sleeps with the secretary of the girl he was in love with? Seriously, why did I write such an idiot?

It had been eight years since Paris. After all this time, Lafayette was just as proficient at destroying his relationship with Y/n as he had been when they were younger. You would think that he would learn from his mistakes, or Y/n would have been able to forgive him, but no. Maybe they were young and stupid then, but they were still very much young and very much stupid. 

Lafayette had made a stupid decision. If it hadn’t been clear to him the night before, it was blatantly apparent to him the next morning while Sybil was getting dressed.

“Last night was a mistake.” He cringed at his words as soon as he said them. Last time he had woken up next to a girl and told her it was a mistake, it didn’t go so well. 

“Not in a bad way, I mean,” Lafayette quickly amended. “I am sorry, was that rude to say?”

Sybil gave him a look that he couldn’t quite read. “No, it’s alright. I agree with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “it was unprofessional, and by the looks of it, it didn’t help you get whoever she is off your mind.”

Lafayette rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking at the bed or the floor or the window or at anyone but her. “You are right. I just... Anyway, this can’t happen again.”

“No, never. It was a bad idea to begin with,” Sybil muttered.

There was a silence that fell between them, neither of them knowing what to say until Lafayette awkwardly said, “I’ll see you around, then.”

“Right, right. Are you going to Congresswoman L/n’s election night party?” It was more of a way to fill the silence than actual curiosity.

At the reminder of Y/n, Lafayette had to stop him self from outwardly groaning, but he couldn’t help but grimace. If things with her hadn’t been messed up before, they definitely would be now. 

“I should attend that, shouldn’t I? I’m just not sure Y/n will want me there.”

“You are a major donor,” Sybil pointed out. “It would make sense. If you and the Congresswoman don’t get along, why do you come around the office so often and make contributions?”

He didn’t even know how to respond to that, and his silence was telling. Suddenly everything clicked for Sybil. The frequent visits to Congresswoman L/n’s office. The disappointment on his face when she had told him Y/n specifically didn’t want to talk to him. The woman Sybil had asked him about last night. The way he called her by her first name.

“Oh no. The woman you’re in love with is Congresswoman L/n, isn’t it?” Sybil pieced it together. 

Lafayette’s mouth hung open silently, his eyes told her she was correct.

“I never would have kissed you if I had known. I never would have done a lot of things with you if I had known. My boss? Please tell me I’m wrong about this.”

“You’re not.”

She groaned. “And it was so obvious, wasn’t it?”

“It’s obvious?”

“Of course! How did I not realize until now? I don’t want to get in the middle of anything, I just didn’t know.” 

“You’re not getting in the middle of anything.” Lafayette shook his head. “I ruined any chance I had with Y/n long before last night. I really think she wants me out of her life this time. I should get on the next plane back to France, shouldn’t I?”

“Are you asking me, your one night stand, for advice?” Sybil said. “Not going to lie, this is a first for me. You’re going to miss the election night party if you leave.”

“Does it matter if I go to this event? Y/n doesn’t want to be with me, showing up to a party isn’t going to change that.”

“Look,” Sybil said firmly, “if you really love her, does it really matter if she wants to be with you or not? If you love her, you should want what’s best for her and her career, even if that means she still doesn’t want to be with you.”

He bit his cheek and thought her words over. “I get that, it’s just...”

“It’s your decision. Regardless of whatever happened between the two of you, she could use your support at the election party. Think about it, okay?”

John Adams was going to win the race, he had been ahead in the polls for weeks now. Thomas Jefferson had run an admirable campaign, well, as admirable as a campaign could be that outwardly trashed congress members in the media. Y/n never took his insults personally, even though she knew Jefferson wanted her to. 

Tonight she wasn’t going to let thoughts of Jefferson get her down, even though the news anchors on the television would continuously bring him up. Tonight was going to be a big win for the Democratic party. Jefferson was trailing Adams in electoral votes, and there were only a few states left to be accounted for. 

Y/n has spent most of the night talking with voters and showing off some of her bartending skills at the venue they had rented out for the election party. She was having a lively conversation with a single-mom when Lafayette walked in the door. Suddenly, it was like she had tunnel vision. Everyone else was dark and blurry, but everything about Lafayette seemed to be vibrant and in focus. 

Since the last time she had seen him, Y/n had been doing her best not to waste her time thinking about him. Not that it was an easy task to do, Lafayette had a way of being memorable. Still, Y/n had bigger things to focus on than an old flame. 

Now election night had finally rolled around. No politician was bothering Y/n because they were too focused on the presidential election or their own reelections. And at this time at night, the polls in Y/n’s district had closed. There was no more campaigning she could do at this moment, so she had nothing to distract her from her former best friend who was staring at her from the other side of the room. 

Saying a brief apology to the woman she was talking to, Y/n began weaving her way through the crowd until she was standing a foot a way from Lafayette. Her red lips formed a cordial smile, and to any onlooker, it looked like a kind greeting between two acquaintances. 

“I didn’t think you would show up,” Y/n said cooly.

He bit the inside of his cheek and tilted his head to the said ever so slightly. “I almost didn’t. I know things have been awkward between us lately, but I wanted to show my support for your success. No matter what happens between us, I’m always going to have your back Y/n.”

Her mouth parted slightly, a little surprised and touched by his response. When she didn’t respond, Lafayette quickly added on, “but I can always leave if you don’t want me here.”

“No, no.” She closed her mouth and shook her head. “No, stay. I want you to stay.”

A small smile began making its way across Lafayette’s features. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Nathan had appeared at Y/n’s shoulder.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Nathan said, adjusting his glasses. “Good to see you could make it, Monsieur de Lafayette. You think I could borrow the Congresswoman for a moment?” He turned to face Y/n. “They’re about to call your election.”

“Of course, I’ll see you around, Lafayette.” She gave him another smile before Nathan ushered her to the front of the room where a local newscaster was announcing the results for her district.  

The room went quiet and the volume on the tv was turned up. The anchor smiled at the camera and announced, “...and it looks like Representative Y/n L/n has won her reelection campaign by a large margin. Horatio Gates trailed the congresswoman by...”

Y/n wouldn’t know how much she had beaten Horatio Gates by until the next moment. Everything after the anchor announced she had won reelection went unheard. An upbeat victory song had begun playing somewhere in the room, yelling and cheering warmed Y/n from her toes up to her head. Her mouth hung open for the longest time, and before she knew it, she was pulling the nearest person, Nathan, into a tight hug. 

At some point, reporters had swarmed the venue and Y/n began giving out answers to all the questions they threw at her. There were a lot of congratulations and thank yous going around, and Y/n nearly lost herself in all the wonderful chaos. There was more wonderful chaos when John Adams was announced the next president of the United States later that evening, but Y/n hadn’t even been given enough time to soak in her own victory. 

Don't follow men out to the street at 3 a.m.

The election party officially ended at midnight, but that didn't stop people from staying for a few more hours. At 3 a.m. there were maybe five people left at the party. Now that most people were gone Lafayette decided he would approach Y/n one last time.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure I congratulated you on your win again before I head back to France,” he said.

Y/n blinked. “You’re going home?”

“Early tomorrow morning.”

Y/n’s mouth hung open slightly, but she didn't say anything. Lafayette gave her a thin smile, a polite nod, and then headed out the door.

He had already exited the venue when Y/n processed what had happened. Not heeding my earlier warning, she followed Lafayette out onto the street at 3:00 a.m.

“So that's it, then, is it?” She called after him. “That’s the end?”

He turned around and raised an eyebrow. “The end of what?”

“The end of us. You're just going to leave?”

“Us? What do you want me to say, Y/n? That I regret what I did? That I'm sorry? Because I've already tried that.” He sounded exhausted. “You are just tormenting me now. Do you know how much this is hurting me?”

“You?” Y/n couldn't believe he was acting like the victim. “This is all on you. I can't count how many times you’ve hurt me

“What, you think I don't know that I messed up? You think I don’t regret the decisions I made every day?” Lafayette ran a hand through his hair. “Chèrie, I've used every kind of soap I have, and I still don't feel clean.”

The raw honesty in his words struck both of him deeply. A heavy silence settled between them. Eventually Lafayette reached into his pocket and pulled out two items. He desperately thrusted the objects into her open palm.

“I've been holding on to those for years. I don't want to keep them any longer.”

Y/n looked at the items he had given her. One was an old, worn ticket from a concert. The other item was a necklace. The one she had worn on their one shared night together. Y/n thought she had lost it and never expected to see it again.

“I dated lots of women when I was younger,” he admitted. “It never ended well. I've never been good at being sincere. Every relationship I've been in I ruined. You want to know why we never dated? Because I loved you. To the moon and back.”

“To the moon and back?” She repeated.

He nodded. “I loved you since I've known you. I couldn't let you be another girl I ruin things with. I guess everyone knew we were in love with each other except for us. Even Molly figured it out. That's why we broke up.

“Why didn't we ever tell each other?”

“We were just kids,” he suggested. “We spent all our time watching lovers in rom-coms tell each other what we were too afraid to tell ourselves.”

Y/n stared at the items she held in her hand. She let the ticket and the necklace fall from her hand onto the dark street below.

“This doesn't change anything.” She shook her head. “You walk in dreams. Dreams of what once was, what could have been, and what never will be. You hold onto the tangible things a ticket stub from our first concert, the necklace I lost years ago. You hold onto these objects because they make your dreams feel a little more real. Something you can touch or see, but in the end? It's all in your head.”

“What are you saying, Y/n?”

“Lafayette, I don’t doubt for a second that you loved me. Maybe you still love me. It’s just not enough to make up for all the ways we’ve hurt each other. I’m tired of being hurt, okay?” Y/n tugged at the sleeves of her coat, trying to find the words to tell him what needed to be said. “I’m finally happy and successful. I’m changing the world.”

“I knew you would. I always knew you would.”

In the next few months, Y/n would replay that evening again and again in her mind until it would drive her to the brink of madness.  “Out of sight, out of mind” was a proverb Y/n wouldn’t understand until four months after the election night, when the words Lafayette had spoken to her on the street seemed like an eternity ago. When a year passed, that night seemed almost like a figment of her imagination now. 

Besides, Y/n didn’t have a lot of time to think about events that had conspired over a year ago now. She had legislation to pass and funding to allocate. There was never a slow day in D.C. 

“Y/n, you saw what Fox News said about you this morning?” Nathan asked, setting down a cup of coffee.

More focused on the steaming cup of coffee that had been set down in front of her than anything Nathan had said, she gave him a noncommittal shrug. “I don’t know. Was it anything new?”

Nathan considered for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not really. They were just informing the public that you’re a radical leftist who wants to abolish ICE and free healthcare for all.”

Y/n scoffed. “They figured out I wan’t to keep families together and take care of the health of millions of American citizens? Oh no.”

“You’re not bothered by any of this?”

“Well, they’re not wrong? By all definitions, I am a radical leftist.” She shrugged and pulled the warm cup of coffee closer to her. “Besides, anyone who’s watching Fox News already has a biased opinion toward me. We’ve got bigger things to worry about, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Nathan agreed. “For one thing, France announced its support for your foreign aid bill. If your bill gets passed, they pledged to match whatever amount we’re spending on foreign aid.”

This seemed to wake Y/n up in a way that her coffee just couldn’t. “Really? That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”

“I’m glad you think so. I’ve lined an interview up for you and a French diplomat in an hour downtown. You ready to go?” 

Y/n sat up straight in her chair. “You really sprung this on me! Nathan, I haven’t had anytime to prep.”

He rolled his eyes and handed her a thick binder. “It’ll just be a few questions, mostly just to show the public a picture of you and a French official side by side. You can handle any questions, you wrote the damn bill. Besides, we can prep in the car.”

Y/n figured she had no points left to argue, likely Nathan’s intention. Begrudgingly, she followed Nathan out to the front of the building and they got into the backseat of the car. They began going back and forth, Nathan asking her questions on the foreign aid bill, and Y/n responding with well articulated answers.

“See? I told you you had nothing to worry about,” Nathan said in the elevator, finally closing the binder.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “That’s because I’m just magnificent and well-spoken.”

“Yes, yes you are. You’re going to kill this interview.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. They began walking over to a small hair and makeup set up, and Y/n froze when she saw who was already on set laughing with the interviewer. She turned on her heel and jabbed a finger into Nathan’s chest.

“You didn’t tell me Lafayette was the French diplomat!” She hissed.

Nathan’s mouth fell open in mock surprise. “Did I forget to mention that to you? How silly of me.”

“Nathan, I swear to God. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I had known Lafayette would be here!”

“Then it’s a good thing I didn’t tell you, huh?”

Y/n scowled at him. “I haven’t spoken to him in over a year, and last time we spoke, well...”

“I know you’re not on the best terms. Maybe this will help bury the hatchet.” Nathan suggested.

“Nathan, we need to can--”

“Oh dear, it seems I’m getting a call. I should really take this. I’ll see you back at the office, Y/n.” He motioned to his phone that was clearly not ringing and retreated back to the elevator. 

After quietly cursing Nathan under her breath, Y/n resigned to her fate and allowed for some intern to touch up her hair and makeup. When they were done, she was ushered onto set in a seat next to Lafayette and across from their interviewer, J.P. Martin. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Congresswoman L/n.” J.P. Martin said with a disarming grin. “I’m glad you could make it to this interview on such short notice.”

She forced a smile, “thank you for letting me discuss my foreign aid bill.”

Y/n could feel Lafayette’s lingering gaze on her skin, but she refused to take her eyes off the interviewer in front of her. J.P. Martin said something else flattering that Y/n didn’t take to heart, then someone on the crew began to count down, then they were rolling. 

“Today I’m joined with Representative Y/n L/n and Ambassador Lafayette to discuss L/n’s foreign aid bill,” J.P. looked straight into the camera with a wide grin. “Before we get into the details of all that, it’s my understanding that Representative L/n and Ambassador Lafayette have a history. Is this true?”

She froze in her chair. How had this interviewer find out what happened between her and Lafayette? Would this be a scandal she found in the newspaper the next morning? In all the time she had taken with Nathan to prep for this interview, she was already caught off guard by the first question.

“Yes, this is very true. Y/n and I go way back. We met when she was studying abroad in Paris and quickly became close friends,” Lafayette said. Y/n finally glanced over at him, and he gave her a reassuring smile. 

“Well how about that?” J.P. directed his next question at Y/n. “Was it intimidating being friends with President de La Rivière’s son?”

Y/n was feeling more relaxed now after the initial shock. “At first, yes. Of course it was. I’m pretty sure I tripped over my feet the first time I met President de La Rivière.”

“You didn’t!” J.P. said with an amused gasp.

Lafayette chuckled and nodded. “She did. I remember my mother asking me afterwards why I was friends with that awkward American.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” J.P. was positively beaming. 

“I think my mother understands now that Y/n is the youngest woman serving in the United States Congress,” Lafayette was subtlety pointing out Y/n’s accomplishments. “And speaking as her son and an official ambassador from France, I can confidently say President de La Rivière was impressed with Y/n’s foreign aid bill.”

“So impressed that the French government has promised to match the amount the U.S. is spending if the bill gets passed.” J.P. turned to face Y/n, his expression turning more serious. “Tell me, Congresswoman, why do we need to increase the amount of money we spend on foreign aid? We’re already spending 39.2 billion on foreign aid.”

Y/n smiled when he asked this. Really smiled. These were the kind of questions she had prepared to answer, and she knew she had Lafayette to thank for the topic change. “J.P., most Americans think 10% of government spending should be spent on foreign aid.”

“Yes, that seems reasonable,” J.P. nodded.

“39.2 billion might seem like a big number,” Y/n continued, “but that’s less than one percent of our federal budget.”

“Is that true?”

The rest of the interview went fairly well. Y/n had intelligent answers to each question J.P. asked, and Lafayette was there to assure J.P. that France was in full support of Y/n’s bill. Before she knew it, J.P. was saying they were out of time and thanking both her and Lafayette for coming to the interview. 

The crew began to disperse quickly once the interview had commenced. Now that the interview was over, the realization that Lafayette was standing beside her begun to sink in. She loved the idea of walking off the set and never seeing him again, but unfortunately, they were both headed in the direction of the singular elevator.

“I assume you’re going to the lobby as well?” Lafayette asked, pressing the down button on the elevator.

Y/n nodded. “I am.”

The elevator opened and Lafayette gestured for her to step in first before following behind her. They stood in silence for a moment. Y/n hated how slow this elevator was moving, a fact that she hadn’t noticed on the ride up. 

Finally, Y/n caved and she spoke to fill the silence. “I didn’t know you were back in the United States.”

He gave her a sideways look, doing his best to hide a smile. “I’m the French Ambassador to the United States now, Y/n. Did you really not know that?”

She clicked her head and shrugged. “I might’ve read it somewhere, I guess I just forgot. I’m a busy person.”

“Oh, I know.”

Y/n turned to face Lafayette and considered him for a moment. “I suppose you’re a busy person as well, now. How’d you get this gig, nepotism?”

Lafayette laughed and leaned against the wall of the elevator. “Believe it or not, I’m extremely qualified. I’ve served as a representative for France in the EU for a couple years, worked in the state department, long with other places.”

The elevator finally opened up to the lobby, but now Y/n wasn’t ready to end their conversation. “Huh. I guess I forgot that you’re actually a pretty intelligent person under all those layers.”

“Layers of what?” He asked with an amused grin.

“Layers of stupidity.” Y/n shrugged.

Lafayette chuckled and held the door open for her. “I guess that’s fair.”

“It’s more than fair,” Y/n sighed. She looked back at him over her shoulder. “So what is it that ambassadors actually do? I’ve always been curious.”

“A lot of ceremonial gifts and handshakes,” Lafayette admitted. “But very important handshakes. I met with President Adams last week, and I’m headed to meet with Washington at Mount Vernon now.”

“Sounds luxurious. Maybe I should’ve considered becoming an ambassador if it meant I get to spend time with President Washington.”

He paused. “Well, meeting with Washington is more for personal reasons than anything to do with being an ambassador.”

“Oh yeah?” Y/n raised an eyebrow. “I forgot you were best friends with every prominent American.”

“You’re not wrong,” he grinned. “Can’t help it that everyone loves me. Democrats and Republicans. I’m planning to have dinner with Jefferson next month. And I used to be best friends with the illustrious Representative Y/n L/n.”

His words were teasing, but he noticed when Y/n tensed when he said “used to be.” She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it again. Shifting from foot to foot awkwardly, Lafayette cleared his throat and asked, “What’s next for you?”

She considered him for a moment before responding earnestly. “The Oval Office, eventually.”

“Really?”

“Are you surprised?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Not really. I always knew you were destined for great things, Y/n.”

“Did you, now?”

“Yes, in fact,” Lafayette reached into his pocket and took out a checkbook and a pen. “Let me be one of the first investors to your presidential campaign.”

He handed her the check he had just written. Y/n stared at the check she had been handed, still not entirely processing the extra zero written on the dotted line.

“Is this a joke?”

“No, it takes a lot of money to run for president.”

“I know that, but why would you…” She trailed off, then narrowed her eyes as a thought occurred to her. “This is just you trying to win me over by spending absurd amounts of time and money on things you don’t actually care about. I’ve seen this before.”

“You’ve seen what?”

“This exact scene.” Looking around seemed to solidify Y/n’s conception. They were standing on a sidewalk. Maybe Y/n and been young and naïve in the past, but now she knew how to recognize patterns. She recognized this one. How many times before had the pair of them ended up on a sidewalk together? And how had it ended for Y/n each time?

She counted five times now. The first was the day she had met him. It was Paris, and he had a completely disarming smile that made Y/n trust him immediately. 

The next time it was late, both of them were drunk, and they were laughing in the dark while they waited for a cab to drive by. 

The third time was in New York, ice cream cones in both of their hands and heartbreak on the agenda. That night she had remembered especially well. 

The fourth had been about a year ago now, and although she had tried to forget it, it had been burned into the back of her mind like a scar that would never heal. 

This would be the fifth time, and this time she knew better.

Each sidewalk rendezvous went the same way. Every time. And worse yet, they always ended the same.

“What is this scene?” Lafayette asked, genuinely confused.

“It starts innocent enough, doesn’t it? Just two friends on a sidewalk. But this is how it goes,” she laid out the scene for him. “You’ll reach into your pocket and pull out a cigarette. I’ll tell you how unhealthy it is, but you’ll smoke anyway. We’ll smile and laugh, until it gets to the point where we don’t want to be friends anymore. Then you’ll lean in and kiss me, or, at least, I’ll be wishing you’d kiss me.

Not such a bad scene, is it? Except every time it ends the same. You’ll wake up in someone else’s bed and break my heart. I’m just so tired of letting you do this to me! I’ve finally figured you out, and it’s not going to happen again. You’re my best friend, Lafayette, but I can’t keep letting you hurt me.”

When she had finished her rant, a quietness settled between the two of them. Lafayette watched her carefully, waiting to see if she had anything else to say, but it seemed that she had gotten everything off her chest now.

“That’s not what’s going to happen this time,” he finally said.

She looked into his eyes to figure out if she really believed him. Did she really want to believe him? “No? How can you be sure?”

“There are a few things in your “Lafayette breaks Y/n’s heart” equation that have changed. First of all, I stopped smoking a while ago,” he informed her.

Y/n was beyond surprised. For as long as she had known him, he had always been a smoker. It was part of his personality and was synonymous with his name. If there were two things that she was sure she could count on, it would be Lafayette smoking cigarettes and breaking her heart. Had he really quit?

“Second,” Lafayette continued on, “I’m not going to kiss you.”

“You’re not?” She almost sounded disappointed.

“Not this time. We learned our lesson, didn’t we?” He sighed, adjusted his jacket, and let his eyes fall to the cement at his feet. “You’ve ruined me. I’m never going to be able to love anyone the way I love you. And God, I love you so much.”

His heart felt heavy, like it was sinking further and further into his chest and he didn’t know if he would be able to find it again. There was a moment of silence to mourn something that had been lost. “You know I love you. You know that, right?”

Another certain truth. “Of course I do.”

“Good. I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t know. I love you, and I can’t tell you how much I hate that that isn’t enough.”

She smiled. The kind of smile you give when you know that something lovely is coming to an end. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but smile.

His voice was tender when he spoke again. “No one ever told me that being in love would hurt this much. Am I a sadist for wanting to love you more?”

“No, darling, you’re just a romantic. That’s the worst we could be.”

Lafayette nodded because he couldn’t find it inside himself to smile. His town car showed up to take him to the airport at that moment. He bit the inside of his cheek, considering the different things he had enough time to say. Lafayette shook his head when he came to the decision that there was nothing left to say. He had already made it to the car and opened the door when he changed his mind.

“You know,” Y/n addressed Lafayette once more. “This might be crazy, but no matter what happened between us, I always thought it would be you and I in the end.”

Lafayette paused and pulled away from the car. He hesitated before making his way to Y/n. He gently held her chin between two fingers, looking her deep in her eyes as if he was searching for her soul.

“To the moon and back, remember?” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then parted from her and got in the waiting car.

Not everyone gets the fairytale ending you see in movies. But they loved. Really loved. And that was enough.

Real love isn’t like the movies. No, it’s painful and warm and terribly strong. Mostly it’s good.

[hiscyarika]

Kir’manir: Chapter Four

Cuyanir

vb. to survive

Word Count: 4.5k

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Summary: The Mandalorian must find a way to rescue the child and escape Moff Gideon.

Warning(s): Violence, Injury

A/N: Hey it’s been a while. Sorry about that. All of my inspiration for this series died for a while, but I was glad to be able to pick it up again at the news of the trailer that’s coming. This is a much shorter chapter than normal, partly because of my lack of motivation, but also because I felt that trying to put an entire episode into one chapter was a bit too much. So this chapter and the next will both cover the events of the last episode of season one. I really hope that you guys enjoy this, and here's to season two!

Masterlist

Tag Lists

Chapter One: Beroya, Chapter Two: Narudar, Chapter Three: Ruusaanyc

Gif by @bestintheparsec​

As the Mandalorian looks into your eyes, he sees that they hold the same dread that tightens his chest. A silence falls over the cantina, and even the scores of troopers outside are deathly quiet. It’s an eerie feeling, and he knows that he needs to find a way out, a way back to the child before the worst can come to pass. He watches as you peek out the window, and he turns to do the same, finding countless blasters poised to fire. Shooting your way out isn’t an option, he knows. Not when the numbers are so blatantly in their favor.

“We have to find another way out,” you say, looking back to him. He can tell that, despite your worry, you’re doing your best to keep calm, schooling your breathing and focusing on the task at hand, even if it means stating the obvious next step. He nods in understanding, looking around the cantina for another exit route.

“There isn’t another way. We have to fight,” Greef says from where he stands behind another wall. But the Mandalorian cannot accept that certain death is the only option.

“What about the sewers?,” he suggests. His covert could be the key to getting out.

“The sewers?,” you ask incredulously.

“The Mandalorians have a covert down in the sewers. If we can get down there, they can help us escape,” he explains, and while he doesn’t expect any argument, he still finds himself relieved that you’re immediately on board with the idea.

You nod. “Great. Now we just have to figure out how to get down there,” you say.

“Checking for access points,” he replies, pressing a button on his vambrace to activate the scanner on his visor. It beeps softly in his ears as he looks around the cantina, and he just hopes that there is a direct route. If the three of you have to leave the building, the chances of survival plummet.

“What the hell are they waiting for?,” he hears you muse softly. He’s vaguely aware of the quickened footsteps of troopers, but he pays it no mind for the moment, knowing that they’re not approaching the cantina. “Mando we gotta go,” you call, your volume rising with the urgency in your tone, “They’re setting up an E-Web.”

“It’s over,” Greef relents solemnly.

Still Mando doesn’t look outside, and finally the visor trills as it locates the access point to the sewers. “I found the sewer vent,” he says.

You don’t hesitate, following quickly after him as he makes a swift break for the vent. He pulls one of the heavy chairs away from the wall, grunting with the effort as he throws it to the side and out of the way. You do the same with the other, and he moves to help you as you haul it away from the vent. Barely taking a second to catch your breath, you both begin to pull at the grate. You even plant a foot against the wall for leverage, but it’s no use even with your combined strength.

“It’s assembled!,” Greef warns, “How long until that thing’s cleared?”

The Mandalorian stands again, letting out a huff of air. His mind is running at hyperspeed trying to figure out how to clear the way.

“Blow it,” you tell him, but he shakes his head.

“I’m out of charges,” he replies. He then moves to try and pull at the grate again, but he hears you pick up the heavy repeating blaster that you’d brought with you. Standing once more, he moves out of the way as you position yourself in front of the vent, firing at the metal grate in hopes of blasting straight through it. Once you’ve done some damage, you bring your foot down hard on the grate, but the effort is still fruitless.

Again, the man from the TIE fighter begins to speak. “Your astute panic suggests that you understand your situation. I would prefer to avoid any further violence, and encourage a moment of consideration.” Interest piqued, the Mandalorian begins to move slowly back towards the window, but makes sure that he’s shielded by the wall in the event that the troopers open fire.

“Members of my escort have completed the assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster,” the man continues. But the Mandalorian feels his heart skip a beat as the strange man speaks your name. What shocks him is not that he knows your name. It’s hearing the name of the planet you were born on.

The same planet he was.

He’s not sure how to process this information. That your parents were lost to the same attack as his. But how could you both have suffered this way and ended up on such different paths? Surely the Mandalorians wouldn’t have taken him but left you behind. And then a thought crosses his mind.

Maybe you’re dar’manda.

But he has no time to think about it.

“Or perhaps, the decommissioned Mandalorian hunter, Din Djarin, has heard the songs of the Siege of Mandalore, when gunships, outfitted with similar ordnance, laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in The Night of a Thousand Tears,” the man outside says. At this, he steps forward, knowing that the threat has grown much more if this man knows his name. He ignores the way that your head whips around to face him, now that you know the information he had once refused to you. Very few people in the galaxy have ever had access to it, and he wracks his brain trying to figure out how this man could possibly have learned his name. The hairs on the back of his neck bristle and his body tenses. He lets out a heavy breath, suddenly far less confident than he had been about your escape and survival.

“I advise disgraced magistrate Greef Karga to search the wisdom of his years, and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside. The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end.” It’s now that Din allows himself to look at you, and he can see that you’re just as confused and on edge as he is. But there’s something between anger and determination swimming in your eyes. He knows that he can’t give up yet. There’s still the sewer vent, if only he could find a way to clear the grate.

“What do you propose?,” Greef calls to the man outside.

“Reasonable negotiation,” comes the simple answer, though Din surmises that it won’t be so straightforward.

Greef scoffs. “What assurance do you offer?”

“If you’re asking if you can trust me, you cannot. Just as you betrayed our business arrangement, I would gladly break any promise and watch you die at my hand,” the man grins maliciously at this, “The assurance I give is this: I will act in my own self interest, which at this time involves your cooperation and benefit. I will give you until nightfall, and then I will have the E-Web cannon open fire.”

“I say we hear him out,” Greef offers.

“You can’t be serious. We’ll be dead the minute we open the door,” you retort, an incredulous look on your face. You don’t even consider the suggestion.

But Greef is quick to counter. “We’re dead if we don’t. At least out there we’ve got a shot.”

Din watches you pick up your heavy blaster again, poised to try once more to blast the grate open. “We can’t trust him. We’re outgunned and outnumbered. It’s suicide.”

“What about you, Mando?,” Greef asks, clearly looking for someone to be the deciding vote.

“I know who he is. It’s Moff Gideon,” Din answers. It took him some time to put all of the pieces together, but he’s sure.

You go still and tense at the words. “No. Moff Gideon was executed for war crimes,” you say in disbelief, but he can see in your eyes that you know it to be true.

“It’s him. He knew my name,” Din tells you.

Greef is unconvinced. “So? What does that prove?”

Din turns to him then. “I haven’t heard that name spoken outside of the covert since I was a child,” he confesses, and he can see that the admission piques your interest.

“On Mandalore?,” Greef pries further.

“I was not born on Mandalore,” he explains, and he can’t help but turn to look at you instead, searching for any sign that you might know who he is now. That you remember him from your shared past. But he finds no hint of recognition in your eyes.

Greef carries on, still confused. “But you’re a Mandalorian,” he says, clearly having a fundamental misunderstand of what it means to be a Mandalorian.

“Mandalorian isn’t a race,” you reply, sure and confident in the statement.

“It’s a Creed,” he finishes.

And then he’s taken back. Back to the day that the battle droids and gunships destroyed his home. The screams mixed in with blaster fire and toppling buildings. He remembers his parents, running through the streets in hopes of finding shelter. He remembers calling for his father as he was placed in that cellar, the lonely darkness that followed his mother’s last goodbye, her last “I love you.” The explosion that took them both so soon after his own safety was ensured.

And then the doors opened, and his childish hope made him believe that somehow it might be his mother and father coming back from him. But instead he was met with the sight of a battle droid, blaster aimed and ready to end his innocent life without hesitation. It was one of the few times that Din can remember being truly terrified, but still he’d braced himself. So young and yet staring death in the face with more courage than anyone his age should have to muster.

But even after a blaster went off, there was no pain, and he’d watched as one of the Mandalorians took out the droid, silently offering his hand. Din had taken it, not knowing that doing so would change his life in a way that he never could have imagined. And even as he’d clutched onto that Mandalorian as he flew away, watching his home become smaller and smaller in view, nothing could have prepared him for the path his life would take him on with the tribe.

Din breaks himself from the onslaught of memories then. He has to focus on the task at hand. There’s no time to dwell on the past. “I was a Foundling. They raised me in the Fighting Corps. I was treated as one of their own. When I came of age I was sworn to the Creed. The only record of my family name was in the registers of Mandalore. Moff Gideon was an ISB officer during the purge. That’s how I know it’s him,” he finishes explaining. He tries to shake away the anxiety swells in his chest, a frequent gift of these memories. There are still nights that he lies awake thinking about his parents, about the destruction that he’d witnessed at such a tender age. And the old screams mix with newer ones, creating nightmares that tear him from his sleep and leave him in a cold sweat.

“That’s how he knows who we all are,” you continue, and he studies you closely for a moment. But even as he searches his memories of the attack and growing up in the Fighting Corps, he can’t remember you. It’s odd. You’re not the kind of woman he’d forget. But there’s no time to discuss the past when danger lurks so closely in the future.

“He says he needs us, which means the child got away safely. I was worried when the ugnaught didn’t respond, but if they’d captured the kid, we’d already be dead,” Din deduces, suddenly feeling a bit more relief. As long as the child is safe, then he can handle the rest. To Din, that’s the only thing that matters, even if protecting the little one costs him his own life. He knows that he has to keep the kid safe.

“Try them again,” you tell him, standing again and moving to the side of the window, your eyes carefully watching the troopers that now stand without Moff Gideon. Din rolls his eyes though, as Greef takes a shot of whatever glowing alcoholic drink sits in front of him, though he can’t say that the behavior surprises him.

He brings the comlink on his wrist closer to the helmet. “Come in, Kuiil. Kuiil?,” he tries, but still he’s met with the same silence from before. “Nothing,” he tells you.

You don’t turn away from the window. “They might have jammed the link,” you reply, a rising sense of urgency in your tone. The time to act is quickly approaching, and still there’s no clear path of escape.

But then there’s the sound of the child’s excited chittering on the other end of the link, and for a moment Din has hope that the ugnaught managed to get away safely with the ship.

“Kuiil has been terminated,” IG-11 informs him.

---

You feel your heart sink when you hear the droid’s words, and you find yourself mourning the sweet ugnaught that you’d barely known. For all his hard work and the strife he’d endured at the hands of the Empire, this was not the way that he deserved to die. But you’re grateful for him, because you know that the child would have already been lost without him.

“What did you do?,” you hear Mando snarl into the comlink, and while you understand his aversion to the bounty droid, now is not the time for such hostility. IG-11 is just as worthy of your gratitude as Kuiil now. He’s the only reason that Moff Gideon hasn’t taken the little one and killed the three of you yet. You’re able to look past your own wariness. The Mandalorian should too.

The droid comes onto the comlink again. “I am fulfilling my base function,” he says.

“Which is?,” Mando demands.

“To nurse and protect.”

You’re not sure what the droid plans to do now, but somehow you have faith that the baby will be protected. If that’s the only good thing that comes out of this failed mission, then you’re okay with that. Even if it means your own death. Anything to keep Moff Gideon from getting what he wants.

But then you hear blasts in the distance. You press yourself against the wall, giving yourself a better look at the perimeter without making yourself more vulnerable to the troops outside. As you look down the street, you’re able to see large plumes of smoke in the air. Whoever is causing the damage is coming closer. “Look!,” you call to the Mandalorian, watching as the troopers turn towards the new attacker.

You move away from the wall, able to get a better look at what’s going on. The attacker comes closer, and you’re finally able to see that it’s IG-11, riding a stolen speeder with the child. The droid jumps off of the speeder, letting it glide forward and crash into the unsuspecting troopers. You duck at the resulting explosion, but quickly stand again.

“Cover me!,” Mando calls to you, and you silently nod, grinning to yourself as you hop onto the bar. You sit on your knees, aiming out the window and opening fire on the troopers. The droid has given you a chance. You won’t waste it.

Your eyes never stop moving, your mind working in overdrive to determine where the worst of the threat is. But you’re always honed in on the two men and the droid, making sure that none of them are taking more fire than they can handle, and that the child isn’t harmed. Metallic clanging meets your ears, and your eyes move between the Mandalorian and IG-11. Cursing under your breath, you take aim at the troopers that have turned on the droid, and you feel your heart leap into your throat as he falls to his knees. You start to move off of the bartop, ready to rush out there and grab the child yourself if it becomes necessary.

But the stormtroopers start taking heavier fire, and you have to laugh triumphantly when you see that Mando has picked the E-Web cannon off of its mount, cutting their ranks down in just a short amount of time. It’s impressive, really, and you’re just glad that he’s so quick on his feet. You suppose it’s part of the reason why he’s gained such a reputation in the Guild; there’s hardly a situation that he can’t handle.

IG-11 slowly rises again, and a breath of relief is released from your lips, knowing that the kid is still safe. Not another second passes though, and you’re thrown to the ground by the force of a blast. Without looking you know that there are stormtroopers in the cantina. You peek up over the side of the bar, finding a death trooper among them. It’s nothing you can’t handle, but you’re cornered.

After the shock of the explosion has worn off, you stand, opening fire on the five troopers. You hit two of them before you duck down again to avoid their own blaster fire. It doesn’t take you long to dispatch the other three.

You turn to look out the window when you hear the sharp sound of the beskar taking a hit. Your heart drops to your stomach as you watch Mando face off with Moff Gideon. There’s nothing you can do as the Moff changes his aim, shooting at the crate of ammunition that sits just a few feet away from Mando. You drop your heavy blaster, opening your mouth to warn him, but the damage is done before you can scream.

The explosion blinds you for a few moments, but once the smoke has cleared enough for you to see outside again, you feel like you’re going to be sick. The Mandalorian lies on the ground, unmoving. You mutter frantically to yourself as you take the smaller blaster from your thigh holster, spewing cursing and prayers alike as you run to him. There’s no hesitation to your movements as you grab him by his front and haul him up.

Hooking your arms under his, you drag him with his back to your chest into the cantina. To your relief, IG-11 and Greef Karga follow soon after. “Stay with me, Mando. Come on,” you plead, taking him over to where the sewer grate is. You grunt with the effort, but eventually lay him down against one of the chairs you’d displaced earlier.

“This is our only path out. Can you clear it?,” you hear Greef ask the droid, and you’ve never been happier to see an IG unit than you are now. Now that you no longer need to worry about an escape route, you turn back to the Mandalorian, knowing that he’s the one that needs your full attention.

“Stay with me,” you tell him, looking him over to find any injuries that you might be able to treat. You just need to get him back on his feet long enough to get out. If he has such faith in his covert, then that’s good enough for you. You just have to get to them.

Mando’s chest heaves with labored breaths as he turns to look at you. “I’m not gonna make it. Go,” he orders.

You shake your head. “No. I’ll carry you out if I have to. We’re all getting out of here.” You keep your voice calm but firm, your hand coming to cradle the back of his neck, feeling for any head injuries that you might be able to find with the helmet still on. Your stomach twists into a knot as you bring your hand back. The wet warmth you’d felt was blood. But you can’t reach the wound without taking the helmet off.

“Leave me,” he pleads, gasping for breath. You feel panic rising in your chest.

You know he can’t, but you ask it of him anyway. “You have to let me take the helmet off,” you tell him, though you make no move to remove it yourself. You could never compromise him that way, not against his will.

At your words, he startles, grabbing onto your wrist despite the fact that you haven’t moved. But you understand the immediate need to stop you from doing anything. “No. You leave me,” he insists. Behind you, you can hear IG-11 working on removing the grate. You wish there was a way to speed up the process. “You make sure the child is safe. Here,” he gasps, using his free hand to pull something from around his neck. He then drops a necklace into the hand he’s holding onto. You don’t recognize the strange creature that the pendant is molded into. “When you get to the Mandalorian covert you show them that. You tell them it’s from Din...D-Djarin,” he instructs shakily. He has to take a moment to catch his breath. “You tell them the Foundling was in my protection...and they’ll help you.”

You close your fist around the necklace, shaking your head. You consider for just a second what it would mean to leave him behind. You’d be responsible for the child, and you have no idea what the Mandalorians will do if you bring them this necklace and speak his name. The idea of speaking his name for the first time after leaving him to die alone makes you feel sick.

“Not like this. I won’t let you die,” you tell him, and to your surprise, emotion wells up in your chest. Your voice breaks and you feel the beginnings of tears burning at your eyes. You can’t let him go that easily, not after everything that the two of you have been through trying to keep the child safe. And the idea of being left alone with a kid with powers you can’t even begin to understand: it’s terrifying.

You can’t do it.

“Let’s go. You’re coming with me,” you say, trying to lift his nearly dead-weight on your own.

“I’m not gonna make it and you know it.” It’s harsh, final. You don’t want to admit it, but he’s right.

Before you have a chance to react, flames come rushing through the door of the cantina. You instinctually throw yourself on top of Mando, shielding his body with yours. Sweat immediately beads across your skin as the intense heat of the flames hits your back. You lift your head when the attack ceases, and you’re only vaguely aware of the fact that the Mandalorian holds on tight to you as you look up towards the door.

When you see nothing, your gaze quickly shifts over to the IG unit, who still works on opening the path to the sewers. Your heart pounds in your chest as you try and figure out what the next move should be. You hate this, the way that you’ve allowed the situation to affect you so severely. In the midst of any other job, you would have found a solution by now.

Mando grunts in pain, trying to draw in a decent breath. “You protect the child. I can hold them back long enough for you to escape. Let me have a warrior’s death,” he says. The tears welling up in your eyes blur your vision then, though you can’t tell if they’re caused by panic or emotion at this point.

“I won’t leave you here,” you tell him, conviction dripping from every word.

“This is the Way,” he breathes. You know you can’t argue with him anymore.

Another wave of fire comes through the door, and you press yourself close to the Mandalorian, your forehead touching the spot on his helmet where his own forehead would be. A single tear manages to escape your eye.

When you look up again, you gasp at the sight of an incinerator stormtrooper. Your gaze flits between Mando, Greef, IG, and the child, and in just the couple of seconds that it takes, you realize that there is a very real chance that none of you will survive the next few moments. There’s not enough time to react. The trooper raises his flamethrower again.

As he releases the flames, you once again shield Mando, thinking that your death is imminent but at least in doing this he won’t be in the direct line of fire. You wait for the searing pain that you’re sure will result from being burned alive, but it never comes.

You lift your eyes, able to see the child pull himself to his feet, his arms raised as he looks to the wall of fire coming right for all of you. To your amazement, the fire never reaches the baby, and is instead held off by some invisible shield, one you know to be the strange powers he possesses. You sit up, trying to find your blaster. Maybe you’ll be able to dispatch the trooper yourself while the kid holds the flames at bay. But the little one, with just a motion of his hand, sends the fire right back at the stormtrooper, blasting him backwards and out of the cantina.

You don’t have words. You’re frozen in place, only broken from your state of shock when you hear the grate being kicked in. “Come on! It’s open, let’s go!,” Greef calls to you. You look at the child, finding him unconscious much in the same way that he was after he healed Karga’s wound.

“Go,” Mando implores you, struggling to breathe. “Go.”

You hesitate, looking to Greef and IG-11 for any kind of assistance. You still hate the idea of leaving the Mandalorian to die alone.

“We have to move. Now!,” Greef tells you.

“Go,” Mando tells you, one last time. He squeezes your forearm, which he is still holding onto from when you’d protected him, and though every fiber of your being screams against it, you rise from the floor, taking the child from the droid. He’s in the satchel again, sound asleep.

You hold the child close to you, placing the necklace that the Mandalorian had given you inside the satchel with the little one for safe keeping. “Escape and protect this child. I will stay with the Mandalorian,” IG says.

Reluctantly, you nod, holding the child in one arm and picking up your heavy blaster with your free hand. “Promise me you follow...with him,” you reply firmly.

“You have my word,” the droid replies.

You let out a soft breath, making your way over to the opening in the wall. There’s a moment of pause, and you take one last look at the Mandalorian, knowing full well that what the droids brings could be a body. You have no idea what means IG-11 has to treat Mando. “Goodbye,” you breathe, hardly audible.

And with that, you descend into the sewers, leaving the Mandalorian behind.

---

Permanent Tags: @bestintheparsec​ @hail-doodles​ @aerynwrites​ @murdermewithbooks​ @themandjalorian​ @longitud-de-onda​ @readsalot73​ @lovingtheway​ @talesfromtheguild​ @mystical-934​ @tiffdawg​ @lokiaddicted​ @adikaofmandalore​ @blue-space-porgs​ @forever-rogue​ @hansoulo​ @fleurdemiel145​ @cable-kenobi​ @opheliaelysia​ @pedropascalito​ @creamysacrilege​ @bandofmarvels​ @paryl​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @agentmoonshine1​ @randomness501​ @starlight-starwrites​ @keeper0fthestars​ @stilllivindue2spite​ @hdlynn​ @theocatkov​ @coonflix​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @wickedfrsgrl​ @frietiemeloen​ @liadamerondjarin​ @pancakefancake​ @someplace-darker​ @dontjudgemedude @mistermiraclee​ @pynch-bug​ @kaetastic​ @chrisbostonevans​ @mrpascals​ @f0rever15elf​ @themandadlorian​ @din-damn-djarin​ @knittingqueen13​ @oloreaa​

Kir’manir Tags: @adlerorzel-blog​ @sinnamon-bunn​ @kristalhi​ @frantheseer​​ @icanbringyouincold​ @canoodlincanary​ @heytheredemonsitsyourgirl​ @rzrcrst​ @roxypeanut​ @mrsparknuts​ @afootnoteinyourhappiness​ @deputytrash​ @altarsw​ @irreplaceable-ecstasy​ @luminarahan​

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2021 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

DONE.

I really cut it close this time, but I got a couple days to relax until the contest! >.<

God, I missed Eurovision so much that I think I rambled a bit too hard....XD So, if you don’t have the patience to read all of this, I don’t blame you! I mainly just make these for fun, heh....But if you do read this, PLEASE be warned that I have some very unpopular opinions this year. It’s not as bad as some other years, but there’s a few things in here that will probably confuse people. I’m not trying to piss anyone off, I’m just sharing what I think of the songs and that’s all. I can’t even vote, so.....yeah!

Also, uh....be warned for excessive gushing, because I like the VAST majority of songs this year. There are only two that I’m indifferent to, and none that I outright dislike. And even the two songs I’m indifferent to, I managed to say some good things about, so I don’t outright bash any of the songs! I’m not a critic, I’m just a big Eurovision fan being happy talking about Eurovision.

Ummmm, anything else, hmmmm.....well, the rehearsals have been done, but I don’t watch those cuz I like going in blind. I like being surprised. So, I have no idea how any of the songs will be staged, keep that in mind.

Now, I think I said everything! Into the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Karma Country: Albania Thoughts: We start our list off with a song that...I wish I liked more! This song is pretty good - I like the music (though the instrumental breaks are pretty busy, with a lot of noise at once) and the vocals are excellent, but...it's a pretty standard Albanian entry in that it lacks that extra wow factor for me. In fact, when I say "standard", I mean that when I haven't heard it in a few days and I try to get in into my head, I'll sometimes confuse it with "Ktheju tokës" (their 2019 entry). And I know that isn't fair to it, but the fact that I can't make it stick in my mind really says a lot to how little of an impact it made on me in the long run. "Ktheju tokës" WAS good, and this song is good, but man do Albania really have trouble standing out in this contest (with the one HUGE exception, of course <3) Prediction: I don't think this will qualify for the final, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was proven wrong. Albania have surprised me multiple times in recent years. I kinda don't wanna be surprised this time, since it could be at the cost of a song I like more (and yeah, it probably will be), but I still wouldn't rule it out. This song does have a chance. But for now, I'll say no, it won't qualify.

Song: Technicolour Country: Australia Thoughts: Time to take off your clothes- wait, that's not it? It's "cloaks"? OK then, if you say so...Not only is this a very cool and unique song, but it's also pretty catchy! It's kinda hard to put into words how I feel about this song. When I first heard it, I liked it OK but I also feared that it would grate on me after a bit, but thankfully, it didn't! In fact, this song grew on me, just the opposite of what I thought. I enjoy this song quite a bit now! The singer's voice is really good. She has impressive range. And there's nothing else this year that sounds like this. So, while I don't love it, I definitely like and respect it! It's an impressive entry from Australia, and I'm sad that they have to preform remotely. I hope that doesn't hurt them too much...   Prediction: Oh, I wanna say they'll qualify so bad, cuz they deserve to! And even when their entries don't get love from the televote, they still get carried to the final by the juries, so....I think they might! C'mon, it's a good song and it deserves to do well! I don't even love it that much and I can still see the talent and appeal of this song, so yeah, I'm gonna say it'll qualify! The betters are underselling this! Might not do that well in the final, but eh, at least it'll be there.

Song: Amen Country: Austria Thoughts: And here we come to one of the weirder things this year: like 2015, there are two songs with the same name, leading to some confusion. I'll get to Slovenia's "Amen" way later, but for now all I'll say is that that's the one I think about more BY FAR. To the point where poor Austria here gets completely overshadowed by it. XD And that's really unfortunate, because this song is pretty good! It's very emotional, even moreso when you read that it's based on the deaths of the singer's daughter and aunt. It definitely hit me harder after I realized that it wasn't just a breakup song...and actually about death...The lyrics are also very good, especially the repeating of "Tell me, is this what you wanted?" which is a line that kinda hit me even on first listen? It just sounds so...sad, yet angry, especially with how he sings it...Though I will say that the opening lyric simply being "Amen, I guess" could be easily made fun of...but I'm not gonna do it. Not to this song. Even though it's far from one of my favorites, (and in terms of sad family songs doesn't come close to "You Let Me Walk Alone" levels), it's a good song. Prediction: I don't think Austria really have that much of a chance....but that doesn't mean they're doomed. They could touch hearts with this song, or they could be overlooked, could go either way. I personally think, um.....they won't qualify. Just cuz of the competition.

Song: Mata Hari Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: Should I be annoyed at how blatantly Azerbaijan recycled their 2020 song? XD Well, I'm not! If anything, I find it funny that they included the line "Just like Cleopatra", which I took as full-on self awareness.....And I also don't mind because the song is awesome, so yeah. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this stuff! I don't care how many times the song's name is yelled, it still sounds soooooo good! The instrumentals are amazing! The one before the end is easily the best part of the song. Y'know, where she just says "Let's go" and then the beat goes crazy? Perfect. This is a very solid borderline favorite for me. My only real gripe is that...uh, it's "goddess", not "godless"...I can clearly hear her pronounce an L and it bugs me. XD Prediction: In true Azerbaijan fashion, I think this'll be an easy qualifier. It's not a front-runner, but it's a very memorable song and there isn't really anything else like it in the first semifinal (maybe Israel if you squint? But that's a stretch) In the final, hmmmm....maybe it'll place in the middle somewhere? I don't think it'll do as good as "Truth" at least. That's my prediction.

Song: The Wrong Place Country: Belgium Thoughts: Not only is this a grower, but it's also the biggest grower of the bunch for me. Every year, there's that one song that I start out mostly indifferent to, that I do NOT expect to like as much as I end up liking it. The "O Jardim", the "Roi". This year, it's this one. It took me a few listens, but now I really like this song. I can't even explain why, it's just....cool! I like the dark, somber atmosphere of this song, and how it doesn't cross over into overly moody. It's just cool. And I like the lyrics, too. They flow really well, and I like how much detail there is. The whole thing just works so well....well, except for the line about the Johnny Cash t-shirt. That's just baffling. And that's the lyric they end the song with...but other than that, it's a great song that tells a story, with the atmosphere to match, and I really like it. Prediction: The only reason I'm not saying this is an easy qualifier is that the first semifinal is gonna be a bloodbath. XD I just went down the list, counting all the fan-favorites that would normally be shoo-ins, and I counted ELEVEN songs. There's GONNA be outrage that day, I just know it. Personally, I think Belgium could still do it, but it'll be really tough. I want them in the final, but my opinion doesn't matter here. Them making it will probably take a lot of effort, honestly, and...it could go either way. If I had to give an answer to what I think will happen, I'd say that they'll barely not qualify. But I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong! (As long as that doesn't mean losing Croatia in the process)

Song: Growing Up Is Getting Old Country: Bulgaria Thoughts: This one's....difficult. Not the MOST difficult song to rank (that's Cyprus), but man, it took me a while to figure out what I felt about it. In the end, I've decided that I...kinda like it. I'm putting it right at the bottom of the "like" category. Now, I know that a lot of people love this song, so just let me explain: I don't normally enjoy this kind of vocal. I didn't care for "Sebi" two years ago cuz it bored me, for example. This song at least builds a little bit, but it's not that exciting. Musically, this song doesn't do much for me, and that's why I'm ranking it so low. BUT....I love the lyrics. This is such a relatable song. Growing up does indeed get very, very, VERY old, and I worry about it all the flipping time. I do wish I could run from those worries. I like the reference to anxiety. I like lines like "Playing Tetris with my feelings, tryin' to keep them all inside". I like the switch to “Getting up is growing old”. It's really clever. Not to mention, her lethargic vocals actually FIT this subject. She's tired. So, I do appreciate this song for, well....speaking to me, even if I don't love it like so many others do. Prediction: Will definitely qualify without much issue. I can also see it doing pretty well in the final, like....Bulgaria have been in the top five twice in recent years, so this could possibly put them back up there? I personally don't think this song should be that high, but hey, this isn't about my feelings, this is my prediction. Uhhhh.....top ten.

Song: Tick-Tock Country: Croatia Thoughts: The first of my top seven favorites! Ohhhhh MAN did this song blindside me! When I first heard it, I remember the chorus letting me down! It was mostly due to not being what I expected from the pre-chorus, I guess I expected the music to burst with emotion or at least be louder.....but after only two or three listens, it grew on me completely, and I found myself trying to learn the lyrics and sing along. This is NOT another "Icebreaker", that’s for sure. I love the whole thing as it is and I wouldn't change a thing about it. This song is so! Darn! CATCHY! That chorus is incredibly infectious! Man, that beat is so flipping good! And when it switches to Croatian for a chorus, mmmmm good stuff! As someone who actually really enjoyed "Crazy", I still say this is Croatia's most solid entry since.....geez, 2010? Hope this one is more, um, successful than that one ended up being... Prediction: Oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo~....I really hope this doesn't end up underrated like Croatia's entries tend to be, but something tells me that I shouldn't be....TOO worried? ....OK, I'm still worried. XD The first semifinal is LOADED with awesome songs, so unless the staging for this is really really cool, it MIGHT struggle to stand out? Keyword being "might", cuz this is still a very good song....Maybe just being a good song will be enough! Of my two favorites in that semifinal, I'm more worried about Slovenia than Croatia, honestly. At least Croatia have an upbeat song. I'll try to be optimistic, and predict that it'll qualify. A lot of people seem to like it, so why not? However, if it doesn't qualify, I won't be too shocked....There's a lot of fan-favorites it's gonna have to compete with to get through. XD If it does make it, then I can't see it doing THAT badly in the final...

Song: El Diablo Country: Cyprus Thoughts: Hoo boy, here we go....So, this is easily the hardest song for me to rank. I'm sure that after I post this, I'll already be second-guessing my placement for it. But for now, here it goes......I love the chorus to this song just so much! It's SUCH a good thing to belt to, and I wish I could. I even love the "OooooooOOOOOOOOHHH~" after it! She has a GOOD singing voice! ...Too bad she barely uses it. Yeeaaaahhh, I'm...not very crazy about the rest of the song. The speak-singing verses, I got used to after a while, but they're still just ehhh. And the pre-chorus where she's just panting in the back with no other music? The bridge, where there's that stupid "I love El Diablo" chant that sounds like a playground taunt? Annoying. It feels like she's trying WAY too hard to be Lady Gaga, complete with throwing in words to another language for no reason other than to sound ~spicy~. As a fan of Lady Gaga, I'm sorry, but you're not doing a very good job! As I've said before, it's hard to come up with a concrete answer for how I feel about this song, because it has stuff I like AND stuff I don't like! And not only that...it's a BIG divide between the two. I don't just like the chorus, I LOVE the chorus. It's a SHORT chorus, but I love it! There are times I enjoy the song despite my complaints with it....but there are other days where I don't have enough patience to deal with stupid panting and "I lOvE eL dIaBlO", so really, I'm super torn here. I know this song's very popular, and I can see the appeal, I just wish I liked it more (especially since I've really liked the last few entries from Cyprus). Prediction: This song's currently in the top ten in the betting odds, so I think it might do a lot better than I expect. I personally don't think it's a top ten song, but it'll at least qualify for the final. And maybe do pretty well. Left side of the scoreboard, maybe? Cyprus are NOT an underrated country anymore, and the song's got a lot of energy, and it's definitely memorable, I'll give it that.

Song: omaga Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Another song that has me conflicted, but not nearly as much as Cyprus'. My opinion on this one is a lot more simple: love the music, kinda iffy about the lyrics. This feels like it's sung by the kinda person that Destiny from Malta warns the ladies to stay away from. "You say you're still mad about the things that I did, but I don't know what I did". "Why don't you come over and have it? Why don't you let me have it?" I'm not the only one who thinks he's being really pushy, am I? I do think this song's just meant to be playful, but, uh....it doesn't come off that way to me. I mean, I guess I like the rhyming of "apocalypse" with "on my lips", that's pretty clever and I've never heard it before? But...overall, the lyrics honestly kinda creep me out. It reminds me of someone who just will not take no for an answer even when it's obvious that his presence isn't wanted because he thinks that she's just "playing hard to get". And she's not playing hard to get! He outright says that he did something to piss her off! Dude, leave her alone! Even if you're playing dumb saying you "don't know" what you did, that's not a reason to keep pestering her! ....But, *sigh* I can't be too mad at the song. When you get down to it, the most important thing in a song (especially in Eurovision) is the music, not the lyrics, and...this song sounds fantastic. It's really catchy, with a nice fun party vibe. I do enjoy listening to this when I don't think about it too hard. It's probably the most fun I've had listening to a Czech entry, so I still like it for that. This isn't a song worth being mad over. (Except the title. That title is so flipping stupid. Just say "oh my god", it's not hard. But that's a nitpick, pffff) Prediction: I kinda don't want this song to qualify since there are others in the second semifinal that I'd prefer to make it instead. Despite liking it, this is still one of my more least-favorites in that semi. XD But I still say this has a fair shot of qualifying, despite being performed early. But with the competition in the party song department by Serbia, Moldova, and San Marino, and their fairly low amount of fan attention, I'm gonna say no for this one. But I won't hate it if it qualified (as long as it doesn't push out Greece or Finland, which I don't think it will).

Song: Øve Os På Hinanden Country: Denmark Thoughts: Heck YEAH to Denmark sending a song in Danish! It's great to hear uncommon languages in Eurovision from countries that normally send songs in English! And dare I say that that's not my favorite thing about this song? Because this is another of my favorites! This song's been getting a flack for being "dated", and....yeah, maybe it is, but so what? I never claimed to have perfect taste, and I LOVE this kinda thing! 80s music is back, I say! Gosh, this song is so HAPPY! Well, uh, I can't even understand it, but it feels happy. And the instrumentation is so flipping good! The horns, the strings, UGH! I can't not smile while listening to this. If you don't like this song, that's fine, it's not for everyone...but I really appreciate Denmark for trying something different this year, especially since it turned into something that's completely to my tastes. Prediction: Yeah, uh...the odds don't look good for Denmark. Performing last, after so many people have made up their minds? With a song that's already not popular at all? Yeah....if they DO manage to qualify, I'll be VERY happy, but I don't think it's gonna happen...Man, most of my favorites are in danger this year...Eh, I'm used to it. But I'll say that they COULD possibly do it, due to nothing else sounding like them!

Song: The Lucky One Country: Estonia Thoughts: Oh look, another one of my favorites! Wow, what an emotional gut-punch this song is....these lyrics are seriously SO good. "Why'd you have to go and mess it up? Why'd you have to make what was unbreakable / Shakeable, unsaveable" "For a little while, the fates were with us / Wonder why they had to turn against us? / I could make a wish, but there is no use" "Thought I had a cloud over my head / It had to be my fault that it kept raining down, until, now, I figured out / That if I had the nerve to say goodbye, I could look for clearer skies up overhead" I....think that's enough, but holy crap, this song's mix of heartbreak and optimism is just PERFECT. "You broke my heart, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'm the lucky one because you're awful and I don't have to put up with it anymore." It's emotional, it's bittersweet, it's powerful...and it SOUNDS powerful too! Those quiet verses bursting into that chorus is great! This song is so flipping good! Why is it so underrated!? ...Oh yeah, cuz people who want emotion are to distracted by Switzerland's entry, I guess...or maybe it's just me, but eh. While I don't love it quite as much as my top three, this is a very solid fourth placer for me. Prediction: This song isn't qualifying, and I've accepted it. It's gotten very little attention (the music video is one of the ones under 1 million views), it was dead last in the betting odds last time I checked, and to top it off, it's being performed second in its semifinal, which won't do it any favors. I really do wish it could surprise me, but I don't think it will. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Song: Dark Side Country: Finland Thoughts: OH HECK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Finland once again appealing to my tastes! OH MY GOD do I love this song! People have been heaping praise on this song left and right, so I can't say anything that hasn't already been said....but I'll praise it anyway! This song is so flipping intense! It manages to be dark while pumping me up for action, and being the best song at doing that this year. There's not much to say about the lyrics because I BARELY pay attention to them while listening (which is pretty much the only reason this isn't my number one), my brain just turns off all analytical thinking in favor of "HOO HOO HOO HOO EVERY PSYCHO IN THE SCENE HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME" without caring about the actual words. I just love the music and vibe so much that it pulls me in so well! It goes so hard! That great hook that starts the song off also gives the song something catchy about it, too! Also points for including the line "We don't wanna grow up", that's great too. This is a song that you put on just to pump yourself up and feel awesome. The lyrics are pretty messed up, which makes me not wanna sing them out loud, but that barely counts as a point against it. It fits with the song's tone, and just....man, I remember how blindsided I was when I first heard it. That was my first clue that this would be something special. I'm also really happy that this song is getting attention because boy is that not true for a lot of my other favorites. XD Prediction: Despite Finland being one of the most underrated countries in the contest's history, with consistently poor results despite sending good song after good song...This one got popular, and most of the attention has been positive, to the point of it being just outside the top ten in the betting odds last I checked! So, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic here and predict that they'll qualify without much issue. They're one out of only two of my favorites (the other being Greece) that I feel like I don't have to worry about. The song does a good job of standing out, which should help it a lot. As for how it'd do in the final...well, I want it to be in the top 10, but after whatever the frick happened with "Monsters" I'm convinced that Finland HAVE to end up underrated in some way...The only thing I can really say is that it'll probably give them their best result in years (since coming 11th that one time in 2014)? But that's all I can really say.

Song: Voilà Country: France Thoughts: If I can sum up my feelings about this one in one sentence it'd be....this is the new "City Lights" for me. Y'know, the Belgian entry in 2017? Got wildly popular, but I never fully understand why? Just found it kinda boring, and was indifferent to it? Yeah, copy and paste that here. In a year occupied by some really fun, happy pop songs, some really powerful ballads, and even a couple hardcore rock songs...a song like this is one of the favorites to win. And I'm sorry, but I don't...get it? Am I stupid? (Well, you'll probably think I'm stupid once we get to my number one but-) Why are people going nuts over this? This is one of the more boring songs of the year if you ask me! But that's being too harsh, cuz I CAN see that there's talent here. The vocals are nice, and I do give it points for growing on me at least a little. At the start, this was my least-favorite, but it's not anymore. I at least appreciate it for building at lot. I almost feel myself come close to liking it toward the end, when it's at its fastest. But that still isn't enough for me to see it as the potential winner that so many people see it as. If you like it, that's great! But even though I see the talent here, I can't jump on the bandwagon. I don't dislike it in the slightest, though. I will say that I'll take another "City Lights" over another "Amar Pelos Dois" any day of the week. At least if this song wins, I can say that it won't taint my view of the whole year. I'll just be like "cool, good for them". Prediction: I'd much rather Malta or Switzerland win over this, but I still can't rule out the possibility, which just how many people love this song and are rallying behind it. I can see the juries drooling over it too. If this does win, I'll see it coming, that's for sure. The possibility over a big five country that's not Italy doing so well feels weird, I'll admit...They're usually so underrated cuz they don't have to go through a semifinal. XD But back to my prediction, ummm....it's gonna do really well, I can't deny that. But since I consider myself Team Malta (or Italy) here, I'm gonna go with my gut and say that it won't win. Top five, though.

Song: You Country: Georgia Thoughts: Meh.....this one's probably my least-favorite, but not by a LOT. In fact, I far from outright dislike it. There are times when I find it kinda relaxing to listen to. Between this and my least-favorite in 2019, I think this one's less boring, which is a good point in this year's favor! It's more like...something's gotta be in last place, and this song's still pretty boring by comparison to everything else. But it's still a simple love song that has some nice lyrics, it's not annoying, and there's nothing wrong with it...well, there's nothing wrong with the SONG, that is... Prediction: Not qualifying. Yeah, this is an easy one. XD Now, um, I haven't SEEN this, but multiple people have claimed that the singer has said some really sketch stuff, which resulted in this already forgettable song....pretty much being a guaranteed flop. Granted, the video doesn't have quite as many dislikes as others (like.....P-Poland's....I'll get to that later), but it's still got a lot. If Georgia do qualify, I can easily see people getting upset. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Song: I Don't Feel Hate Country: Germany Thoughts: OK, so....this song. This flipping song. By all counts, I should find it annoying. I really should. It's a song that reeks of passive-aggressive, better-than-you energy and I normally hate that! No, stop acting like you're sorry for me, you condescending prick! ...But dang it, I can't be mad at this song. I just can't. It just wouldn't be Eurovision without the resident goofy joke song, and this one fits the bill. Taking this thing seriously would make me look stupid. Not only that, but...I dunno if this is just me being very easily amused, but I just find this song funny? Like, actually funny? It's made me laugh multiple times! The lines that did so being the backing vocals going "SAY WHAT? He did not just say that!" followed by "Yes I did, and I feel sorry! I don't feel hate, that's the whole point of the song!" And even the stupid thing toward the end where it goes "So you can wigglewigglewigglewiggleWIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE-" It just puts a big dumb smile on my face, I can't help it! And the attitude of the singer goes down a lot easier when I think of him singing this to actual hateful people who lash out with bigoted comments, so that's helped it for me. If you don't like this song, I completely understand why. It's not for everyone! But it gets a thumbs-up from me (and not a middle finger) Prediction: I...don't know how this song's gonna go over with people? Will it annoy, or will it amuse? Will it be the next "Hatrið mun sigra" or the next "Moustache"? According to the betting odds, and the fact that it's Germany, I'm leaning more towards the latter. I don't see this doing particularly well. I can see the televoters liking it more than the juries at least, but it's still gonna be towards the bottom. I do think they'll do better than last or close to last, though. This song does have a lot of personality, that's for sure!

Song: Last Dance Country: Greece Thoughts: This song is breathtaking.....as in, whenever it comes on, it makes me stim so hard that I'm literally out of breath when it ends! And that's a really....really really good thing! Dear GOD this song is so awesome! Easily a top three choice for me. I already talked about why I love it before, and everything I said then is still true. I'm ever-so-slightly biased because I love songs that make me think of scenarios, and visualize them...especially when it's of, uh....w-well, uh....ideas of the comfort ship variety....And this song makes me think of dancing with my F/O (fictional other), feeling on top of the world, but also terrified of the moment ending, as she has to leave soon, so I hold on to her, not wanting to let go, wanting to savor this feeling until the dream is over....Uh, s-sorry for getting all poetic and stuff, but....I LOVE this song even beyond that bias! Listening to it is more of a rush than the song literally named "Adrenalina". The chorus BLASTS you with so much raw energy, it really DOES make you feel like you're dancing for your life until your lungs give out! You can feel the happiness, and the desperation, just so much...Truly, "Last Dance" is the PERFECT title. The verses aren't quite as strong as the chorus, which is the ONLY reason this song isn't my number one, but that dang chorus is enough for me to fall head-over-heels in love with it anyway. EASILY the best Greek entry for many many years. They've really, truly outdone themselves. Prediction: This has gotta qualify! Even if it doesn't get the awesome staging it deserves, it's still gotta qualify! This is one of the most popular songs in the second semifinal! Well, according to the betting odds anyway.....but c'mon! My energy SHOULD go into worrying about Poland and Estonia, so let me be right about this....let Greece be a shoo-in like I'm sure they are! I dare say that this could even finish on the left side of the board in the final! Unless some other songs REALLY surprise people live, but....for now, that's my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Song: 10 Years Country: Iceland Thoughts: I wonder how Iceland feel about being the "projected winners of 2020". XD It's kinda like being an "honorary" winner, and....yeah, this country that's never won before, but has come second twice? They could've done it finally! But it didn't happen. It's like....is it a good thing to know that, or not to? Maybe a bittersweet mix of both....but the good thing that came out of it is that their artist got to come back this year with this song. My first word to describe this song is cute. It's a very adorable idea, being thankful for your spouse of ten years, and writing a song about it....Couple goals, honestly. XD That's enough for me to like it, cuz that's just so wholesome! But this is also a fun disco song, and it definitely stands out among everything else this year. So, thumbs up to Iceland yet again! Only other thing of note for me is that when I first heard it, the line "How does he keep getting better" led me to think this song was about a gay couple, and....it's not. He wrote it for his wife. I just find it kinda funny that I misinterpreted it that way, heh....(and it's not the only song that I misinterpreted, wait till we get to Portugal) Prediction: People love this artist and people love this song. It's gonna qualify. Not a winner (unfortunately for them), but it'll still do very well.

Song: Maps Country: Ireland Thoughts: Yet another grower. This is a really fast-paced song that I imagine would make good running music, and the lyrics are pretty good! I really like the line "My soul is a map, my heart is a compass, I am the road" for some reason...dunno why, but it sticks with me. Also, can't go wrong with strong drums! I just like the mood of this song overall, too. Happy, uplifting....freeing! Gives of the feeling of an explorer setting off to parts unknown, which is something that no other song this year does. Makes it unique! Whenever this comes on, I enjoy it a lot, but I sadly can't rank it any higher. It's still definitely one of Ireland's more solid, fun entries in recent years, up there with "22". I still like "22" a bit more since it was catchier, but this song is no slouch and I wish it got more attention. Prediction: *in the tone of Deerie from Helluva Boss* Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh, no...Sorry, Ireland, but I think you're doomed. I really like this song and I want it to do well! Ireland have had such bad luck in the past, too! But they've got no chance in the first semifinal. A miracle would have to happen for this to qualify. It's really unfortunate...

Song: Set Me Free Country: Israel Thoughts: Pretty catchy! I like the rhyming flow of the verses a lot, even if I still can't fully understand the lyrics (which....I dunno whether to blame on her voice or me not liking the song quite enough to wanna sing along to lyrics that go by so quickly). What I could make out is well-written, though - if Estonia's entry is about the heartbreaking parts of breaking up, this song is about the liberating parts. I'm free, now I can dance! "Set me FREEEEE~!" That part is so good. Sadly, this song isn't an absolute favorite of mine...partly cuz the "Imma, imma, aaaaahhh" parts are a bit repetitive and slightly wear on me, but mostly cuz of competition. It's one out of many upbeat, catchy songs this year, and not the best of them. Prediction: Ehhhh, this can go either way. I wanna say it'll qualify, though. Israel have been on a roll in recent years, and this song is good enough to continue that. I wouldn't call it a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final and not bomb.

Song: Zitti E Buoni Country: Italy Thoughts: With very few exceptions, rock songs tend to...not do very well in Eurovision. Even when the songs are very good, fans of the contest just don't gravitate towards rock as much as the poppier stuff, and that's fine! Everyone has different tastes in genres, and rock fans and Eurovision fans might not overlap very much. But dang it if I still don't appreciate them showing up and loving it when they do! And especially loving it when they're as good as THIS! This song is SO good! I might prefer the Finnish entry in terms of intensity, but they're not really that comparable. This still goes REALLY hard, manages to be catchy at the same time, and I love every single turn it takes. That part where he sings really really fast, and especially that awesome bridge, ugh, it's all so good! It's not a favorite of mine PURELY due to loving other songs more, but this is one I like more every single time I hear it, and I've been bumping it higher and higher up through my borderline favorites until finally giving it a solid spot. This song's been getting a lot of attention and that makes me very happy, cuz it deserves it! Italy have topped themselves yet again. Prediction: Despite being a big fan-favorite, I don't think this is a winner....mainly due to, well, being a rock song in Eurovision (I HAVE heard the very rare complaint about it, like, saying the chorus is too loud, and....it's a rock song? That's the point???), but also....it's kinda the Italian curse at this point? XD Every single time Italy have a fan-favorite song, they just barely don't win (I still haven't forgotten how much of a shoo-in they seemed to be in 2017 before....well...people lost their minds). They do however, manage top five finishes, and I think it'll be the same thing here. I would love if it won, since I like it more than the three betters' favorites, but I'm not holding my breath. XD

Song: The Moon Is Rising Country: Latvia Thoughts: MAN this song's awesome! OK, so, you might've noticed that there are a few songs this year that have the same message: "I'm a woman and awesome". There's nothing wrong with that kinda thing at all, especially when said songs are all different in their own way! This one right here stands out RIGHT off the bat with a super powerful voice that cuts through everything and commands your complete attention, and DANG does it work! The lady's voice is outstanding, and the beat's not bad either! It's kinda repetitive with the "Padada-papa-rade" parts, but that's barely a problem when the rest of the song kicks so much butt. You got something to say? Say it to her face, coward! When it comes to the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs, I like Azerbaijan's slightly more. It's more fun. But this is a very solid song that I really enjoy, and I'm happy Latvia sent another song I like this much, with one of the best voices of the year. Prediction: Sadly, for as much praise as they've been getting on YouTube, Latvia aren't getting much love from the betters, so I have no idea how they'll do. It's very split. I wanna say that they have a chance, cuz they've got a VERY strong singer and I can also see some interesting staging to go along with it, but that's just speculation. XD Also, it's Latvia. When do they ever catch a break? So....this really could go either way, and of course I'd like them to qualify, but I'm gonna say they barely won't. Not every good song can be in the final, that's the sad truth of having so many slots.

Song: Discoteque Country: Lithuania Thoughts: Dance song for introverts, let's go! This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, and lyrics that encourage having fun by yourself ("Not like that, pervert!" - Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel), and....that's about it! There's not that much to talk about here, cuz with this song, what you hear is what you get. And that's fine, not every song needs to be picked apart and analyzed to explain why it's enjoyable. However, despite how much I love synth music, this song doesn't really hook me as much as other songs do. I understand the appeal, I understand why it's a fan-favorite, but to me, it lacks OOMPH. Musically, it just, kinda....stagnates? With the exception of that weird scatting part. And I think my biggest issue is that the lyrics, well, uh....immediately date it to this year, let's just say. I try to get around this by calling it a dance song for introverts, and that's how I usually think of it at this point, but yeah, it's kinda still an elephant in the room. But I still do like this song, I just don't love it. I'm happy that Lithuania are getting the attention they were denied last year, though. Prediction: Despite opening the show, I think this will be an easy qualifier, one of the songs to beat. I can see this being another top ten finish for Lithuania (maybe it'll finally break "We Are The Winner"'s record from 2006? We'll just wait and see).

Song: Je Me Casse Country: Malta Thoughts: Ohhhhhh MAN do I wish I could rank this one higher. If I wanted, I could bump it up to borderline favorite, but...I already have five of those! XD But dang it, Malta, a country that's never won Eurovision, finally pulls out a fan-favorite song (again, that is *cough*theyshould'vewonin2002*cough*), and I AGREE with that! Like the Italian entry, this is a song that gets better every time I listen to it. It's SO much fun! Not to mention the singer, Destiny - MAN, what a voice! One of the best voices of the year, I'd say (though I'm not surprised, since I loved her 2020 song too). Apparently she's a former Junior Eurovision winner? I'd believe that! I can praise her and this song for so long, and it's not even one of my favorites: I love the lyrics a lot! I'm all for positive messages, and this song manages to have fun while also doing that, AND taking jabs at sexists along the way with great lines like "I'm too good to be true, but there's nothing in it for you!" and the cute "Excuse my French~!" I love the fun swing instrumentals! I love the choir during the bridge! This is just a REALLY good song that deserves all the praise, and I'm so so happy for Malta. I'd best describe this song as "'Toy', but less jokey" (well.....lyrically. Musically, they're not that much alike, but....yeah, you get it) and I like it for for that! Prediction: Could this be Malta's year? A lot of people seem to think so! And....honestly, I'm all for it! I think this could be a very worthy winner. Not to mention, that of the current top three with the betters (this, Switzerland, and France), this is easily my favorite, so....I guess that counts as me rooting for it, unless some other song pulls a Conchita and shoots up the board after being heard live. For now, I'd say this is my pick to win (although my heart is still with Italy TTvTT) At the very least, it's a shoo-in for the final, cuz this is a singer who's been in this kinda environment and will probably sound great. I'd say at least top five!

Song: SUGAR Country: Moldova Thoughts: Moldova's back at it again with their silly antics! I absolutely love "Stay", but it's pretty clear that their entries get more buzz when they're being fun and weird. This song is neither the most fun or the weirdest of this year, but I still appreciate it all the same. Apparently this is the lady who sang in "Loca"? I remember that song....I don't think many other people do. Eh, I still like it, with its catchy rhythm, and its....weird rhymes....but this song is a vast improvement! I like the fun, flirty vibe to it. Sadly, however, with how many upbeat songs there are this year, this is one that kinda fades into the background compared to its competition....well, at least to me. It's good, but not great. I remember calling it a weaker version of the Azerbaijani entry in my first impression post, and that was way too harsh, but I still wouldn't rank it high. Prediction: However, I DO think this could qualify fairly easily. In the second semifinal with most of the mid- to low-tier songs with the betters (and really only Iceland, Finland, Bulgaria, and Switzerland being the ones to beat), this is one of the ones I think has a better chance of standing out. However, I've done this with Moldova's entries WAY too often....Loving them, predicting they'll qualify, only for them not to...I don't love this one, but it could be the same story here. For now, I'm gonna predict they'll qualify, though. I have no idea how they'll do once in the final, however...

Song: Birth Of A New Age Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: What a unique song! A language we've never heard before in Eurovision, incorporating the singer's nationality and culture into a song that sounds like nothing else this year. I'm honestly a bit surprised that this song isn't getting more attention! It's not one of my favorites, but I like it quite a bit. And not just for uniqueness points (that isn't enough to make me LIKE a song, just enough for me to RESPECT it), I honestly like how it sounds. The vocals are great, the beat is catchy, and the lyrics are very well-written. What was that about host countries never trying? XD Prediction: I want this song to do well, but I don't think it will....Well, I don't think it'll flop, but it won't be near the top either. Maybe in the 10-20 range. I do think the juries will like it.

Song: Here I Stand Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: So.....I feel like I SHOULD find this song boring, since a lot of people do, but...I like it. I don't LOVE it, but I like it! The lyrics are nice and....kinda hit home for me? At least a bit. The message of "keep pushing on, no matter what happens, don't let them break you" when coming out of a bad experience....It's nice. Kinda hard to fully explain without getting personal, so I won't. Not to mention that it has a good buildup, which is what I love in my ballads. In fact, maybe it's just me, but you know what song this reminds me of? "Home". At least musically. And I liked that song too, I thought it was underrated. Also, this has nothing to do with the actual song, but the video, but....even though I HATE being reminded of last year's cancellation, I like seeing the singer's thought process when writing this song. Even if people will probably think it's a pity party, I appreciate this song a fair bit. I know I'll probably look stupid for saying I think this song is more interesting than "Proud", but eh, that's FAR from my most unpopular opinion this year, just wait.... Prediction: Considering it's this year's "Home", and "Home" was so underrated that I believe it probably wouldn't have been in the final if it wasn't from the host country....Part of me wants to say that this song's doomed. Macedonia are normally one of the unluckiest countries in this contest's history no matter how good their songs are, and having one year where the juries loved them probably won't buck that trend. A lot of people are gonna overlook this song for being a fairly standard ballad, and yeah, it kinda is. So I don't think it's gonna qualify.

Song: Fallen Angel Country: Norway Thoughts: I loved this song from the first time I heard it. It was the first song of the bunch that I memorized the lyrics to. I like singing along to it. But I was certain, like DEAD certain, that it wouldn't go above a guilty pleasure to me. At first glance, this sounds like a really cheesy boy band song from the 90s, which is why I thought people were gonna eat it alive, and I was gonna have to attempt to explain myself for liking it (like I'm gonna do for the Polish entry). I grew up with this kind of music! I like it! And it's catchy! And the lyrics are just SO good! Feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love, and thinking that there's no way they can be happy with you, are feelings I really really relate to...so it's no wonder I jumped on those lyrics and etched them into my brain as quickly as I could. Helping that is that my current crush IS female, so I can easily sing this song while thinking of her...but even with that, I was still very hesitant to rank this song super high. After all, the reasons I had for liking it were purely just bias, right? That doesn't mean it's a good song, and people are still gonna make fun of it! I can see why they'd make fun of it! ....That's what I thought, but then I saw that it was ranked highly in the betting odds. And I no longer felt like I had to regret liking it anymore. And THEN, the music video finally was released, and HOO BOY, was this song so much deeper than I (or nearly ANYONE) thought...This isn't just a love song. It's about TIX's feelings of self-loathing. About being mistreated for a disability. It was his story. I was SO shocked at how wrong I was, and now I....kinda feel bad for projecting myself into it? I still can't help it, but....no, it's not about that anymore. I love this song fully and unironically, and I will never call it cheesy again. If you don't like the sound of it, or take it at face value, that's perfectly fine. But I love it. While this doesn't QUITE break into my top seven favorites, it's a very solid eighth. Prediction: Please qualify please qualify PLEASE!! Since it's in the Bloodbath Semi and fan-favorite songs WILL be cut, I'm really really hoping for this not to be one of those. This deserves to be in the final! I'd even say that this deserves it more than Slovenia and Croatia (songs I actually like more)! B-but...ugh...I can't say for certain that it'll be safe, that's the thing...but, haaaaah, OK, I'll predict it'll qualify. I think I'm overreacting. Norway have a pretty good record. I can see the people who like this song being enough to make it do pretty well, though it's definitely not a winner.

Song: The Ride Country: Poland Thoughts: You ever have a song that you can't focus on anything during? Like, you're focusing on something else with music playing in the background, but then that one song comes on and you just HAVE to take a break so you can listen to it because it's just SO good that it steals all your attention? That's me with this song. "The Ride" is right, it IS a ride, a ride I NEVER wanna get off of. And considering the only other Eurovision songs to effect me in that way have been flipping "Time" and "You Are The Only One" ("Stones" came close to doing that too, but I could at least still play during it cuz it was such good action music), then it should come as no surprise that yes, this is my favorite song of the year. And yes, I KNOW how stupid I probably look saying that. This song has NOT been a popular choice, but to heck with it! I can't help what music I like! This song is just so flipping catchy and fun, it's got a nice beat, and I've loved it from first listen! I'm not sorry! Heck, it's even kinda atmospheric in a way, in that it's a good nightlife song, giving off the feel of an amusement park at night with all the rollercoasters lit up with LEDs as you feel the wind in your face, no cares, no worries....just turn your brain off and sing along. I even like the lyrics, particularly "It doesn't matter if I stumble and fall / I'll make it through, I'll never touch the ground". It's enjoying life, it's the feeling of flying, it's feeling on top of the world, it's escapism. Have I defended this silly song enough? Point is: I. Love. It. This is the first time a Polish entry has EVER topped my list, which by default makes it my favorite entry from them ever, and I'm happy to give them love (they've been my second-favorite twice, but one of those barely counts cuz it was in a weak year and also a song that sounded bad live, so....yeah, my former favorite Polish entry was their 1998 entry, which....didn't do well, but uh, that's then not now ^^;) Prediction: This is what I've been dreading....for a song that makes me wanna leave all my stress behind, it sure does stress me out thinking of how much HATE it's getting, oh boy oh boy! Though, from what I've picked up, MOST of the hate has come from fellow Polish people who are upset that it wasn't who they wanted as their entry? So...that's not accurate to how everyone else thinks? Well, that's what I've seen, at least....This song's still not doing very well in the betting odds, and also, being an electronic song, the possibility if it sounding worse live than in the studio is....definitely a possibility.....S-so....yeah....Sadly, as much as I love it, I can't trick myself into thinking it has a chance....It's probably not gonna qualify....If it does surprise me (which HAS happened before with favorites I thought were doomed!) I'll probably flip out!! Unlike Estonia's entry however, I don't think it's AS doomed, might stand out more, and a small part of me wants to hope...The fact that the semifinal it's in, the second, is the one with the less fan-favorites, does increase its odds ever so slightly...b-but uh, I don't wanna get too hopeful! I don't want my heart broken again like with "Look Away" two years ago (which I LEGIT thought had a chance XD)

Song: Love Is On My Side Country: Portugal Thoughts: Kay, so first, before talking about my thoughts, lemme share the hilarious misunderstanding I had about this song for the first few times I heard it: I normally don't watch the videos, I only listen to the playlist in the background as I play video games or do other stuff. Even the first time I heard the songs, I didn't watch the videos, I just had the music playing in one tab and was focusing on typing on Tumblr. And....I thought this song was sung by a woman. True story. I thought it was a woman with a very unique voice, and I was gonna praise the song for that. But nope! Took me WAY too long - about over a WEEK, the time I decided to start reading comments - for me to learn the singer's a man. OOPS. XD But at least it kinda makes sense for me to think that way? With lyrics like "I never thought I'd be queen", he's clearly telling the story of a woman. In fact, I learned that it's the true story of a woman he met (I forget the details though). So yeah, I thought that was kinda funny, but how do I actually feel about the song? Well, it's a grower! I was worried that it'd stagnate for me and I'd end up indifferent, but the unique voice combined with a subject that I normally like (staying optimistic in bad situations) won me over. I don't love it, but it's nice and has good lyrics. You really feel bad for the woman (seriously, leaving home at sixteen?) so it's effective. I wanna believe love is on my side too... Prediction: This one's tough, cuz a lot of people do love this song, and it does a good job of standing out by being the slowest song in its semifinal, I don't really think a lot of people will gravitate toward it? And that it just barely won't qualify? But it could really go either way. I'm gonna predict it won't qualify and that it'll be the "robbed" one people will be upset about in the second semi. But maybe I'm just saying that cuz that semi will already be painful for my favorites, too...and I'd prefer Poland, Denmark, or Estonia's slim SLIM chances to come through over this.

Song: Amnesia Country: Romania Thoughts: This song is just a whole mood. I could just end my thoughts with that one sentence, cuz that really just about sums it up. XD Self-love is something I've always struggled with, and I've been trying really really hard to get better at it this year. Without getting too personal, there was something that happened a few months back that made me realize just how badly my hatred for myself was effecting people around me, and that I needed to lighten the crap up before it comes off the wrong way and....I-I bring others down with me....But after all that, it was HARD. It really did feel like I.....lost myself trying to have it all. But I'm slowly learning to better myself, and this song spoke to me because of that. "If you feel what I feel, don't bring yourself down, you're not alone, not alone now". It's simple, but it works. Admittedly, I respect this song more than I like it, but I do like it. There are just a lot of songs I'd prefer to listen to. And the POV switching from first to second-person confuses me a bit (she says that YOU'RE not alone, and then that SHE lost herself, and then goes back to YOU'RE not alone? Who's the one with the amnesia?) but that's just a nitpick, and I've heard much worse English in Eurovision than that. This is still a good song with a very good message that I needed to hear. Prediction: Even in the bloodbath that will be the first semifinal, I do think this song's mostly safe? Mostly...Romania haven't had the best of luck the past 2-3 years, but their record is still mostly hits, and this song's still the favorite of people. But some favorites are gonna get snubbed, and honestly, I wouldn't mind if it's this one. There are songs I like more. But for my actual prediction, um....I think it'll qualify.

Song: Russian Woman Country: .....Russia Thoughts: This one's a grower. I can't deny its catchiness. Sometimes it's gets in my head completely randomly, particularly that slow part with the...is that a choir? Um, background singers. That part (I don't wanna butcher Russian lyrics, sorry! >.<) But, even with that, I don't fully love this song. I know it's gotten a lot of attention, but to me, it just....doesn't hit very much? I thought about it, and I came up with this: this is a song by a Russian woman, for Russian women, and ONLY Russian women. It's about how strong they are, and how they should rise up against their country's sexism and- it's all very specific to Russia? So, I can't really enjoy it as much as the people its aimed at, and that's fine, because, well, it's NOT aimed at me and I shouldn't pretend it is! I'm not even in the target audience for this whole dang contest! XD So, my opinion DOES NOT reflect what I think of the quality of the song. The song's good. It's very catchy. There's nothing wrong with it. I just can't relate to it, which make it my personal least-favorite of the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs of this year. (What happened to Little Big tho?...) Prediction: Yeah, they're gonna easily qualify, even in such a stacked semifinal they're safe. They've been shooting up the betting odds recently, so I feel like they could do very well, maybe even finish in the top ten. Russia's like Sweden in that if their entry is popular, its guaranteed a spot toward the top. XD

Song: Adrenalina Country: San Marino Thoughts: Holy CRAP is this one heck of a grower! When I first heard it, I was more confused by the sudden appearance of Flo Rida of all people to really think about if I like the song. And for a while, I didn't even think I liked the rap all that much? I do like plenty of mid-song raps, but this one I felt didn't really fit the song all that well. Like it was just pasted in there from another song entirely. But, a few listens later, and I started rapidly liking this song more and more. Fitting for its name, there's just nothing but energy here. It's a great song to put on to just....pump me up! The whole thing's just dripping with a sense of pure fun. The instrumentals are great, it just sounds so good! In terms of growers, this is a close second to the Belgian song. Also, while I'm not a huge fan of Flo Rida normally, comparing past Sanmarinese entries I will say that his rap is a LOT better than the rapping in "Who We Are" was, that's for sure! Prediction: This song doing so well in the betting odds is.....honestly amazing. XD This is the most hype San Marino's EVER gotten, which I think could qualify them for the final? But also, maybe not...with San Marino, you never know. They are helped by Flo Rida's name recognition but there's NO way he's as big in Europe as he is in America (and even in America, I haven't met that many people who are actually fans of Flo Rida), so...is it enough? I think it very well could be! It's a very good song, and Senhit's been in Eurovision before so hopefully she knows what she's doing on stage. Also, this is a song that better have cool staging with it! But for my prediction....screw it, I'm gonna predict they're gonna qualify. I even say this as I have favorites in the second semifinal that they're definitely gonna push out, but ah well...

Song: LOCO LOCO Country: Serbia Thoughts: Yet another super fun, upbeat song! And while I don't love this song as much as others (Poland's, Denmark's, and Azerbaijan's entries, even San Marino's at this point), this is still one of my more favorite of that type, and I....honestly couldn't tell you why! It has a lot of energy, but it sounds different enough to stand out. And it's catchy while not being in English! I kinda wish I could learn Serbian so I could sing along to this...XD It also grabs my attention from the very start. I dunno why, but I love that "Hur- Hur- Hur- Hurricane!" followed by the beat starting, I find it to be a cool and infectious way to pump me up for the song. Overall, one of the songs that I don't think about a lot, but when it comes on, I enjoy every second...Oh and also it has one of the most exciting key changes of this year so there's that too. Good job to Serbia! Prediction: I think this one's a fair bet to qualify! However, it's not guaranteed. They're not attracting THAT much attention in the betting odds (which surprises me a bit), but the second semifinal seems to be where MOST of the lower-ranked songs are (sadly, says the person with three favorites in it), and among those, I think Serbia will most likely make it. The song stands out a lot. So I'm gonna predict they'll qualify! But if they don't, ah well, it could be to make way for a song I like more (hopefully...I wouldn't wanna say goodbye to this song to make way for the Czech or Austrian songs), so I wouldn't mind THAT much I hope. As for the final, they're definitely not a front-runner, so I could see them ultimately stuck around the middle. Unfortunate since I like this song a lot.

Song: Amen Country: Slovenia Thoughts: Where to start with this one....This is one of my favorites, and it's in the same way as "Stay" in 2019 and "Mall" in 2018 where I have a hard time really articulating why. It's a song that makes me FEEL, and it's hard to convey that in words, so yeah! This song just....hits me so hard in the gut whenever I hear it, so I love it! It's effective at its job! Even the big thing that I thought would hold it back for me - being a religious song - didn't hurt it at all in the end. The lyrics are ambiguous enough that it doesn't JUST come off as preachy and religious and that's all. It can also be taken as a song of rising above tragedy...The most religious thing it does is mention the heavens casting you out, and that can be taken in multiple ways. But if it is meant to be religious, that's fine, I've already made the decision to love it. I'm agnostic, so I don't outright hate religious music if it's not trying to shove messages in my face. The moment I fell in love with this song was one day when I was feeling really down, was listening to the playlist to unwind, and then this song came on right after Romania's entry (which I already talked about relating to a lot). When I heard the chorus, I literally teared up. THIS is the song that made me cry this year. Not Austria's or Spain's (the songs literally about dead family members), but this one. Is that...something to be ashamed about? XD I just....really love the lyrics...."The storm's relentless, but everybody knows, everybody knows we're born to the fight"...It really just sounds so uplifting, and yes, spiritual. And even beyond that, I just like how the song sounds! I love ballads that build, and this one BUILDS, with such a soaring chorus. The vocals are outstanding, too! That's one powerful voice! I also really love how, after you think it's over, it comes back for one final chorus, that's probably one of the best parts of the song. This song makes GREAT use of the recorded backing vocals, making the choir sound absolutely massive, a lot more than it'd be live. It really makes it sound so big and grand....Uh, I've rambled about this song enough, haven't I? Uhhh, point is: This is my favorite ballad of the year and I'm not sorry. I think it's underrated as heck. Prediction: And because it's underrated as heck, and in such a packed bloodbath of a semifinal crammed full of fan-favorites battling to the death, I....don't think....it'll qualify.....I'd obviously LOVE it too, but the competition's so flipping strong, and....I-it's still just a ballad, so it's not to everyone's tastes...I-I've come to terms with that fact, and if Croatia make it, I'll try not to be too bummed when this doesn't.

Song: Voy A Quedarme Country: Spain Thoughts: At first, I was pretty indifferent to this song, but it slowly grew on me, and now I like it. It builds just enough to keep me interested. It's still low tier compared to everything else, but I can appreciate it all the same. It sounds so emotional that I went into comments to see if there was some kind of story attached to it, and, uh....let's just say that there is, and....it's depressing. But it did make me respect the song even more. There's not a lot to say here, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just....overshadowed, I guess. Not a standout song, but it's genuine, and I like it just fine for what it is. Prediction: Oof...Spain once again find themselves overlooked, and even though the song's fine, I can see why. I can't see this doing very well...If flipping "La Venda" ended up an underrated flop, a song like this isn't gonna get Spain outta their rut. I really do wanna see them do well! But this isn't the year for that.

Song: Voices Country: Sweden Thoughts: Dang it....they did it again. XD Part of me wanted to be bummed that we didn't get The Mamas again, cuz they would've been my favorite last year, but....Sweden know what they're doing, and what they brought us was still really, really good. Like.....REALLY good. Are the lyrics on the generic side? Ummmm.....maybe? I have said that this is a relatively "safe" entry, but that doesn't mean it's not really good. More like...there's been a lot of songs with similar lyrics in Eurovision. But that doesn't take away from the music at all, which is awesome. The chorus is nice and big, the vocals are good, and the little bagpipe bits are such a neat touch. There isn't any big standout elements to me, and it's nowhere near "Too Late For Love" level, but it's just a very solid song. And.....dare I say, better than that other popular song that mentioned a million voices. Prediction: Do I even need to say anything here? XD It's a popular song from Sweden. It's gonna qualify and place in the top ten! Done!

Song: Tout l'Univers Country: Switzerland Thoughts: Switzerland are riding the high from "She Got Me" and have once again sent a big fan-favorite song! Except this time, it's one of the predicted winners! What do I think of this? Well....it's a good song. I love powerful ballads, and this one adds drums, which I also love! But at the same time....I'm not nearly as crazy about it as other people are. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it, but...I feel like we already got this kinda song with "Arcade"? I mean, there are differences, but its got a very similar sound with a similarly big chorus. But then again, I do think that just calling it "'Arcade' but in French" would be WAYYYY too harsh. It's not a copycat, it's very much its own thing. It just seems to be a coincidence. Also, even compared to this year's songs, I enjoy Slovenia's more? If I want a powerful song, I'd take that over this. MAYBE if I understood the lyrics, I'd like it better, but even so, this song doesn't WOW me, even if it's good. I'm happy for Switzerland, but....dang it, I can't say the O word here, cuz I hear the appeal and don't wanna come off as mean to a song I DO like aaaaaaa- Prediction: Even though it's not a personal favorite, I'm not gonna deny that this song could possibly win. I feel like the juries would adore it on top of all the attention its already getting. So, yeah, it's definitely making it to the final and doing very well. As for winning, I....honestly don't think so, but only cuz of how strong the competition is. So, I'll just say that right now, it's looking like this song will give Switzerland their best result in a long long time, doing better than "She Got Me" and (tragically) "Cool Vibes". It's obvious that in terms of how I'd rank the big favorites, I'd personally prefer Malta winning, but I would prefer this to France, so it's in the middle. But even putting my opinions aside, I really can't see it pulling off the win, at most coming really close.

Song: SHUM Country: Ukraine Thoughts: Like with Malta and San Marino's songs, this is a song that, while not a favorite, gets better and better the more I hear it. I should really think about it more often, cuz this song is REALLY cool! My first instinct was to compare it to "Fire Of Love" from two years ago (a song that wasn't popular even though this song is?) but after some time, I realized that that isn't a fair comparison. Literally the only similarity is the vocal style. Everything else is different. But man is this song fun! I could look up what the lyrics mean, but I don't really feel like the lyrics matter here as much as the music does. This song is clearly about the beat. I love synth music, and I also like bouncy stuff that I can rock along to, and this song is as bouncy as can be! The lyrics do repeat, but weirdly I don't find that repetitive at all. And once I got used to it, I started to love the speed up. It's a really exciting end to the song. Talk about going out on a....high note! Haha! S-sorry.... Prediction: Yeaaaahhhh, there's no doubt that this song's gonna do very well indeed! People love it, and for good reason! It's a sure qualifier for the final, and could very well finish in the top ten.

Song: Embers Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And finishing off this list is yet another upbeat happy song! God, I love how many of these there are this year....This one is far from the best of its kind, but it's still a lot of fun. The vocals stand out, the lyrics are nice and uplifting, and it's definitely the UK's bounciest entry in quite a few years. It feels like finally getting that uptight friend of yours to loosen up and party, y'know? XD I don't have much to say about this song, but I do like it. Prediction: What happened to "Bigger Than Us" was unfair, both its placement in the lineup and its treatment by the televoters, and it's pretty much cemented my idea that even if the UK send one of the best songs of the year, they will NOT catch a break, and that just sucks! (well, the exception being 2011, where it was the JURIES that screwed them over instead! Still did good for their standards tho) And also, like I said, this isn't the only song like this this year, so it's bound to get overlooked in favor of more popular (and even better) party songs. I don't think it'll be LAST, but it won't do particularly well. Definitely more toward the bottom than the top.

Aaaaaaaand there we go! That's all of them! Geez, despite having less entries then the past few years, this still was a LOT of rambling....so if you skipped ahead, I totally understand why. XD But if you did read all that, I'm happy you did! But I'm also sorry, pfffff. But now, the important part, my rankings!

Favorites:

1. Poland 2. Finland 3. Greece 4. Estonia 5. Denmark 6. Slovenia 7. Croatia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Norway 9. Italy 10. Azerbaijan 11. Latvia 12. Sweden

Like:

13. Belgium 14. Malta 15. San Marino 16. Serbia 17. Ukraine 18. Iceland 19. Ireland 20. UK 21. Cyprus (today at least) 22. Australia 23. Netherlands 24. Moldova 25. Romania 26. Germany 27. North Macedonia 28. Portugal 29. Israel 30. Lithuania 31. Russia 32. Switzerland 33. Czech Republic 34. Albania 35. Austria 36. Bulgaria 37. Spain

Indifferent:

38. France 39. Georgia

[ranvwoop]

TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[wowcool808]

Aren’t You Cheerful?-YTTD head cannon

This is a headcanon in an alternate universe where Sara never had a stalker and Joe and Sara were never in the killing game. Also, I took the title name from the song “Aren't You Cheerful?” in the Your Turn To Die soundtrack.

“Do you...know what a majority vote is..?”

“Aw...She died…”

“....My opinion...versus yours…”

Various, disembodied voices passed through Sara’s brain without paying any mind to her consciousness. Floating in and out before fading out of existence. It was an odd phenomenon, as Sara didn’t even have the time to grasp onto the words as they left her. And then, she woke. She had fallen asleep on her school desk, presumably drifting off as she was studying for her upcoming test. Slowly, Sara lifted her head, her brain swimming lightly from the abrupt awakening. She rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes and massaged her sore jaw she had fallen asleep on. She sat up and, as her eyes adjusted to what little light streamed in the room, she realized it was already past 6:30 p.m.

“Ugh, seriously? How long did I even study for..?” she asked herself as she glanced down at the study guide in front of her. She had barely gotten to the second page when she fell asleep, deeming the hours she spent after school virtually useless. Sara begrudgingly got up and slung her backpack on her shoulders. She sent a text to her parents letting them know she was on her way home as she walked out of the front entrance. 

As she walked towards the gates, she took in her surroundings. They were the same things she saw everyday; the pond, the trees, and the large building that loomed above it all. Surprisingly enough, one of the lights in the school was turned on. “Huh, even janitors work this late. Thank you for your tireless service.” She said with a small smile as she continued on her way to the front gates. When she reached the gate, she took a look at her phone, reading a text from her friend, Ryoko. “Heyya, I just got homee, wanna sleep over? I’m tired as hell, but I kinda feel like talking about today.” Sara smiled a bit and typed a response. “Hi, and yeah, sure. I’m just getting home too. I spent the last few hours sleeping at my desk, but I’ll see if I can come over later.” Naturally, she would spend the time in between then to study since she wasted so much time doing nothing. Ryoko, however, spent the last few hours going on a date with one of her classmates, Jou Tazuna, or just Joe. Joe had bugged Sara about setting him up with Ryoko ever since he found out how close she and Ryoko were. Sara had finally given in and got the two of them to go on a date together. 

As Sara put her phone away, she heard someone call her name from the other side of the fence. “Heyyy, Sara! Why're you still here?” The voice made Sara jump, forcing herself to get into fight-or-flight mode. Once she recognized the owner of the voice, however, she dropped her stance and stared straight at the person with a hot face. “Joe, seriously?” she said, annoyed. Joe, a tall, gaudy-looking guy with various hair pins stood in front of her with a cheery smile on his face. “Whattt, did I scare you? Sorry ‘bout that.” he said with an unapologetic expression.

 “Oh shut up, you did that on purpose, huh?” Sara said, quickly regaining her cool.

“Jeeze, always so cold, huh? Well, whatever, I knew you would be here. You said you were studying, right?” He said, annoyingly changing the subject.

“Well, yeah, that was the plan. I fell asleep, though. Why did you come here?” She asked, sighing.

“I came to brag about my date, what else?!” He said with a cheeky smile as he put his hands on his hips.

“Right...well, I appreciate the thought, but I already talked with Ryoko about it.” She said with a sarcastic smile. It was a lie but Sara figured it was only fair since Joe had scared her.

“Whattt? I came all the way here though!” Joe said with a fake pout.

Sara rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Well, you were too late, then. Too bad.”

Joe winced and hung his head, moping. “Aww man.”

Sara smiled a bit and held back a pity laugh. “Fine, you can tell me as I walk home. I can’t guarantee I’ll pay attention though.”

Joe lifted his head and smiled again, making it blatantly obvious he was faking most of his reaction. “Good enough for me!”

Sara shook her head and stepped through the gate as Joe waited for her. “So, first we walked to the kabob place that we were talking about earlier. I ate so much that Ryoko had to help me get up!” he said, his head in the clouds as always. He brushed his hair out of his face and continued talking with his signature smile. “The bill was barely in my range, though that was because of my gluttonous butt. My wallet will be hurtn’ for weeks.” he said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. Joe glanced over at Sara, who, as noted, wasn’t paying attention. Joe elbowed her lightly and scrunched his nose. “Are you paying attention or what? I may have lost a ton of money, but we made some serious progress!” he whined. Sara groaned quietly and looked at Joe. “Hey, I promised I wouldn’t pay my full attention. But, whatever, did you kiss or something?” Joe scoffed, taken aback. “Of course not! You know they call people who kiss on first dates monsters and stuff. Come on, have you never been on a date before.” He said teasingly. “Nah, we held hands though! Crazy progress, right? Well, technically I fell in a construction hole and she helped me out, but whatever, it still counts.” He said excitedly. Sara, not wanting to dampen his happy mood any further, shook her head and smiled. “Well, that’s something.”

They passed under a street light, casting a shadow on their faces. “You know, you really never have been on a date, huh?” Joe asked, interrupting the calming silence. “Huh?” Sara muttered, confused. Well, she hadn’t, but why did it matter? It shouldn’t take personal experience to half-heartedly listen to your classmate’s story he excitedly retold. “Well, not like it really matters. But if Ryoko and I end up getting together, you’ll be the sad third wheel!” He said with a joking tone. 

Sara rolled her eyes for the third or fourth time and crossed her arms. “You’re taking this awfully seriously, huh? And why would I be the ‘Sad Fourth Wheel’? Ryoko wouldn’t choose a boyfriend over her best friend in a million years.” She said it rather confidently, but she never actually considered the possibility. Sure, she set up Joe and Ryoko mainly because Joe bugged her about it, but she didn’t think too far into it. She kind of assumed the relationship wouldn’t get too far. That’s what she kind of hoped, anyway.

Joe shrugged and continued walking. “I’m simply planning ahead, and like I said, we made tons of progress today, so success is basically guaranteed!” He said confidently.

Sara sighed and smiled a bit. “You’re too much sometimes.”

Joe chuckled and put his hands on his hips. “You like me for it though.” he said with a wide smile.

Sara scoffed a bit amusingly. “If that’s what you say.” As much as she would deny it, Joe is actually partially right. Perhaps it’s because Joe is so trusting, carefree, and emotional? It was a nice counter to her straightforward and logical nature. 

They rounded the corner of their block and passed under another streetlight, once again casting shadows on both of their faces. As they approached her house, Sara noticed something…...A warm and pleasant aroma wafting through the area (what, you thought it was something else? I told you there’s no killing game hehe)! As she breathed it in, Sara smiled. Joe looked over at her with a wide smirk. “What’re you cooking?” he asked curiously. 

“What do you mean ‘What am I cooking?', I’m literally next to you right now.” Sara asked with an exasperated yet amused look.

Joe chuckled and rubbed his neck and chuckled. “Right, I know that but like…” He said trailing off.

“What, do you want to eat inside? You just had kabobs and were complaining about how full you are!”

“Yeah, but like….” Joe said, moping a bit, “I told you I’m a glutton. Plus, I walked off all the calories.”

“Jeeze, for someone who looks as gaudy as you do, you certainly make a lot of silly excuses.” Sara said, crossing her arms and smirking. “Fine, I’ll ask my parents.” 

“Yaaay! Thanks!” He said, beaming happily like a child who was just given a balloon. 

Sara laughed a bit as she swung open the door and held it open for Joe. Surely enough, as it smelt, her parents made her one of her favorite meals: Mashed sweet potatoes with chestnuts and roasted chicken. Mouth watering already, Sara grabbed Joe’s hand and pulled him to the kitchen...

[borisbubbles]

40. DENMARK

Ben & Tan - “Yes”

I think this post is bleeding ‘Yes’ to death Lemme shoot an arrow through its chest I’m so in loathe I must surpress THIS MESS THIS MESS THIS MESS.

Song analysis

Another thing why Negaworld Estonia deserves hate: I was forced to rank them below Denmark!! but like Uku, this ranking is mostly personal.

What can I even say beyond the same gospel I’ve been preaching for years? Every year Denmark pulls the same I Can’t Believe It’s Not Sweden bullshit. Every year the only road they follow is the one of least resistance. They are terrified of anything with even an ounce of originality. It’s a broken record by now and I can’t say I’m impressed. Oh a bad Of Monsters And Men clone, forgive me for not getting my knickers into a twist.  Having said that, I don’t exactly feel a BURNING hatred for *De* and *Mon* like I usually feel for my least favourites - In fact, after the cancellation it’s hard to feel anything - but I think it may be in part because I’m always partial towards cheerful songs with deceptively dark messages? “I AM READY TO GIVE LIFE ONE MORE CHANCE” say “YES” to sex, the best anti-depressant in the world, yall.

YAY SEX YAY SEX YAY SEX

The problem is: I don’t buy it. I do not believe a *SINGLE* letter of this song. Depressing/Volatile lyrics (I’m astounded nobody has thought to parodying it yet by juxtaposing “Yes” to like, the hilariously graphic deaths in found in GoT and the Witcher - Get at it!!) + cheerful vibe WORKS if presented as satire or irony, but in a more earnest setting the artifice just leaks from every pore. Anyone who is *THIS* possessive and overdramatic towards their loved one is either mentally unstable or a liar or a mentally unstable liar. 

Secondly, the pair of Ben and Tan. Look, I am aware they are friends who met on some Idol show or whatever, but Tan is 23 and Ben is 17. I swear I’m not a puritan but is this... kosher? Even if we assume for a second their narrative relationship is platonic (which it sure as hell isn’t presented as), it’s still a stretch. Let me put it this way, if it were a 17 year old girl and a 23 year old man singing *those* lyrics I doubt most people would be as okay with it. 

Also, I’ve read that people believe that TAN was the weak link in the pair for God/Drug knows what reason (sexism) and I completely disagree. Tan is good and carries the song. Ben on the other hand completely undermines any credibility “Yes” could have by... well, I mean, have a look yourself: 

Ben’s already past the Lucie Jones Zone of facial errors, and solidly encroaching towards the fluid nightmare that was Demyface. I feel bad having to trashtalk another Danish young person so soon after the world’s oldest twenty year old Leonora, but when there’s a genuine risk of a contestant morphing into John Carpenter’s The Thing, I ain’t gonna take no chances.

NF Corner

Hey, guess what, DMGP was... acceptable this year! It was... well, not *good* because Of Monsters And Men weren’t the only good act to have a *SHITTY* clone but I did love the dystopian pathos of not having an audience, and DR having to resort to hilariously fake cheer and applause stock footage to create some sort of vibe <3

and also, there were two very good songs in the line-up, which is more than what EL had, here they are:

Maja & De Sarte Sjæle - “Den eneste goth i Vejle”

A running theme in this NF season was the abundance of lovable indie entries that would normally ONLY find a place in Eesti Laul, popping up in every NF *other* than Eesti Laul. This was the Danish one. Indie rock song about growing up to be the only goth in some rural, puritan Danish village, wearing a Meat-is-Murder, BETCH, is a good way to start. Shamelessly namedropping 70s rock bands they are pilfering riffs from <3 My main gripe was the staging. You’re talking about goths, so why are your clothes and backdrop inspired by some thriftstore flowerpower movement? Anyway, wow a duo with more chemistry than De & Mon, can you believe it? I do, because they lost DMGP. 😈 (by finishing 4th in the vote allegedly. BRING THEM BACK!!!)

Jasmin Rose & Roxorloops - “Human”

 Okay, I am aware that I JUST shaded Denmark about shamelessly cloning anything that sings, but “Human” is literally a techno-ethnodance remix of Lorena’s “Tower of Babylon” and it’s SO blatant I fell out of my chair laughing the first time I heard it. And then, I had yet to deal with the hilarity of ROXORLOOPS possibly becoming the most random returnee of all times (forget Witloof Bay, Roxorloops was ALSO in the 2006 Belgian NF, where his group not only finished LAST in their heat, but also received the lowest score from ALL jurors and the audience <33333). He is SO redundant he is barely even featured in the studio track <33333 And then we got to the live of “Human” staged as an OTT Rose/Robot dichotomy, with Roxorloops of course playing the part of the ROBOT being more of a dancer than a beatboxer holy fuck this was a hilarious ride. IS THIS DENMARK I FUCKING CANNOT BELIEVE IT. Oh wait, "Human” didn’t make the top 3 YUP sounds like Denmark alright. 😈 BRING THEM BACK AS WELL!!!

Denmark 2020 vs Denmark 2021

There is currently no information published about Denmark’s plans in 2021, but I assume they will just hold DMGP again, with an invite for Ben & Tan (which seems to be the MO for countries that traditionally hold NFs).  I am however happy that “Yes” was neutered though. 😇 I don’t think it could’ve won, but its fake-cheerfulness would’ve ensnared a good chunk of casual votes and I’d rather NOT see Denmark KEiiNO themselves into a top 10 they do not deserve! Crisis averted!

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I mean, even with several legit good songs in their DMGP, it was always blatantly obvious Denmark would select “Yes”. After all, it was the only Swedish song in the running. 

Score: 0 Senhits out of 5

[crowdedimagines]

Just A Kiss - David Dobrik

word count: 1594

“I don’t have any clickbait.” David complains. He’s been stressing about this all day. He finished editing the vlog and it had to go up before we flew out to Philadelphia.

“Why don’t you just do one of the old bits?” Zane asks, stating it like it’s an obvious solution.

“What do you mean?”

“Like when you used to play like spin the bottle and stuff.”

David ponders the idea for a while before deciding that he used it too many times.

“Why don’t you spin. That changes it up, plus the fans will go crazy.”

I pull out my phone and scroll through instagram, no longer focused on whatever the guys are talking about.

“Y/n?” David asks in a sing song. He needs something.

“What?” I ask, turning to face him.

“I need content so I’m playing spin the bottle.” David states.

“And?” I ask, raising my brows. I know what he’s getting at, but I want to make him to actually ask.

“I need you to participate.” He sticks out his lip like a little kid to plead.

“David.” I throw my head back in a groan.

“Please!”

“David, people are already shipping us nonstop.” I finally look at him again and he still has this sad look on his face.

“There’s a fifty percent chance that we won’t even kiss!” David defends.

“Yeah, and there’s also a fifty percent chance that we could.” I let out a laugh to show David and his camera that I’m not actually mad or really upset.

“Fine.”

“Wait, seriously?” David asks, blatantly shocked.

“Yep.” I sit up and sit down opposite him on the table.

David goes to his fridge and grabs a Corona.

“Zane, I need you to chug this for me.”

Zane happy obliges and finishes it.

“Alright you guys, we’re bringing back a game that hasn’t been played here in a while.” David lets out a loud laugh. He flips the camera around so the viewers would be able to see the bottle laying on it’s side on the table. “Except this time, I’m the one playing.”

“Hey, what do I get out of this?” I ask, interrupting him.

“Um, link in the description?” David asks with a laugh.

“I already have that!” I roll my eyes.

“Shoutout on insta?”

“I’ll take it!” I laugh and reach across the table to shake his hand. It’s so funny the way we act for the vlogs because it’s exactly the same as we do normally. Lots of people think it’s fake, but the only thing fake it refilming things that actually happened.

Jason takes the camera from David so he can get both of us in the shot. If it lands on the side David or I are sitting on means we kiss. The blank sides mean no kiss.

“Alright, let’s go Dobrik.” I tease while smirking looking up at him.

“Oh, someone’s awfully confident.” He grins, letting out what I recognize as his anxious laugh.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I win either way.” I smirk, this it definitely a time that I am playing it up a bit for the vlog.

David throws himself back on the couch in laughter, he claps once because he’s laughing so hard. After a while he sits up and shake off his nerves. He reaches out and spins the bottle. It spins and spins before slowing down as it edges toward me.

“David.” I groan, I thought that there was no way it would actually land on me. I peek my eyes open and it’s stopped, aimed directly at me.

“Where did all your confidence go?” He asks.

“I didn’t think it would actually land on me.” I lay myself down flat on the floor.

“C’mon Y/n!” Zane cheers.

I get up and sit down next to David on the couch. Jason moves so he can perfectly capture the moment for his vlog.

“You don’t actually need to do this.” David smiles, I can tell that he’s realizing just how real this is now. Both of us are nervous, not to kiss someone, but to kiss someone you’ve only ever been close friends with.

“No, I’m fine.” I smile, “It’s just a kiss, right?”

I lean forward closer to David, he reaches out his hand and settles it on my face. I can’t wipe the grin off my face, is this actually happening. I watch David’s eyes drop from mine down to my lips. I can feel his breath warm against mine. His thumb lightly traces my cheekbone.

I do the same and before I know it, our lips are pressed against each other. His lips are warm and inviting, neither one of us are pulling away instantly. I welcome him by opening my mouth slightly. He takes the opportunity right away. I can’t fight off the smile when I think about the fact that David’s tongue is in my mouth.

I can faintly hear Zane and Natalie screaming. I’m sure that Jason’s jaw is on the floor too. Reluctantly I pull away, David has a dopey grin on his face.

“What the fuck was that?” Jason asks, “I thought it was going to be a little peck!”

I cover up my mouth laughing, I can’t believe we just did that for the vlog.

“Oh my god, Y/n!” Natalie screams.

“What?” I ask with a laugh.

“What the fuck just happened?” Zane asks, I look over to David and he’s just as surprised and at a loss for words too.

“David put his tongue in my mouth.” I laugh, telling the vlog as if they couldn’t tell.

“Shut up!” He playfully shoves my shoulder, “You’re the one that welcomed it!”

We both argue back and forth, you can’t even understand what we’re yelling and laughing about anymore. We go back and forth arguing over who was more into it.

“Watch that back, David.” I point to the camera.

We all end up watching back the footage on David’s laptop. We take a vote to settle the argument over who was more invested in the kiss.

“I think Y/n was more into it.” Jason admits, siding with David. Of course he’s going to side with him.

“Are you kidding me? Y/n was the one who pulled away from the kiss.” Zane argues. Natalie ends up agreeing with me.

I pick up David’s camera and start recording.

“Hey guys, we just ended up watching back the footage and everyone agrees that David is in love with me now. He was more into it-”

“Alright, alright.” David yanks the camera back from my grasp.

“That’s it for today’s vlog. Please give it a like because I know that we just made so many of you so happy just now.” David laughs, referring to all of the fans who have been shipping the two of us since our friendship began.

“Make sure to check out my channel.” I lean on his shoulder to get in frame.

“Wow, someone is really touchy now.” He jokes.

“Ugh, shut up.” I push his shoulder and David ends the bit. He edits the vlog quickly and it ends up being enough to finish the video up.

“Alright, it’s posted.” David comments. He shuts his laptop and sets it down on the table. Zane and Jason went home and Natalie crashed and went to bed. I decided to stick it out because I know he hates editing alone. I stretch out on the couch, my legs reach across his lap.

“I wanna see it.”

David pulls up his phone and we watch it together. The video was really good, even the ending.

“Wow.” I lean back once the video ends, “They are going to lose their minds.”

“Right?” David shakes his head, he sets his hands down on my legs. Before tonight I never would’ve thought anything of David’s extra touches. I’m sure that he’s thinking the same thing because when I look up from his hands, he’s already looking up at me.

“Y/n.” David says, grabbing my attention with ease.

“Hmm?”

“Would you maybe want to do that again?”

“What?” I ask, shocked.

David leans in closer, he pushes lose strands of hair back out of my face.

“If you want me to stop, you should tell me now.” His voice is a whisper. He gets closer and I welcome it. I adjust my hips so were more comfortable, he’s hovering over me slightly, but I can still feel his weight pressing into me. The buildup to the kiss is intense.

David finally leans down to connect our lips for the second time. I’ve realized now that I’ve had a taste of him, I don’t want anything else. The feeling of him sinking into my is so new and welcoming. I feel safe and everything around the two of us is lost for a few minutes.

Finally, we both need to come up for air.

“Wow.” I smile, David can’t tear the smile off of his face. He doesn’t have a word to respond with, instead he just presses a kiss to my bare shoulder before resting his head down on it.

We both lay like that in silence for a while, both of us basking in the aftermath.

“David.” I say is name to grab his attention.

He pulls his head up to look at me.

“What was that to you?” I ask while I press his hair back from his forehead.

“It more definitely more than just a kiss.”