#as The Guy JJ Forced To Be Her Dirty Little Secret For A Year Like OMG Get Some Self Respect My Dude

[missmitchieg]

Sometimes I imagine Haley and Will bonding over hating their spouses jobs.

[maddiwrites]

The Hybrid (Prologue)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: The Pogues rekindle their friendship with their old childhood best friend and JJ’s first crush, Y/N. Old feelings resurface for JJ and Y/N, possibly leading to a summer neither one of them could ever forget. Due to past trauma, Y/N is reluctant to let anyone into her heart, but JJ never backs down from a challenge, even if he knows it will come back to haunt him in the end.

Note: So happy to be back with another series!!! I honestly really missed posting. Unlike Secrets of the Shore, updates will be slower because I don’t have them all written out yet. A couple things I wanted to let you know before you read. I based Y/N’s family off of Gilmore Girls. I thought they were the perfect fit for this story and the show in general and I just love their dynamic. (Including Luke who I renamed Steve for obvious reasons). Chapter 1 will explain more obviously but I wanted to give you guys a little snippet of the characters and relationships. So let me know what y'all think!

Word Count: 3.3k

Outer Banks. Paradise on Earth. It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island. As you know, the Outer Banks is essentially divided into two groups. If we want to be blunt - it’s the rich and the poor. Figure Eight is home to the rich. Aka the Kooks. With houses bigger than necessary with extra rooms that go untouched, boats the size of homes on the Cut - the other side of the island. Most people who live on Figure Eight are your naturally raised assholes. People who don’t know the value of a dollar and take advantage of people who do most of their dirty work that lets them prance around the island with perfectly manicured fingernails. These hard workers are the Pogues. They live on the south side of the island where most Kooks wouldn’t be found dead. They serve fancy meals at the country club for shitty tips, mow lawns, and work their asses off at any other job for minimum wage. The drastic difference in lifestyles tend to cause many spats and arguments between the two communities. Especially between the teenagers who still don’t know how to control their raging emotions or know when to bite back their tongue. For the Kooks, every fight is a fight for dominance where as the Pogues fight for equality - to put the Kooks in their place. Many of these fights happen at summer parties where the two groups clash to find a good time with their friends filled with alcohol, drugs, and good music.

That’s where they find themselves tonight. The infamous Pogues. John B, JJ, Kie, Pope, and now Sarah Cameron. Although born a natural Kook, she’s earned her spot next to the adventurous teens and her boyfriend. Unlike her brother Rafe who basically is the leader of his notorious group. Topper and Kelce are his best friends who follow him blindly.

The Pogues watch them from their spot surrounding the keg. Kie purses her lips in distaste as the boys cat call for the ladies around them. Somehow most of them finding it flattering. Sarah sips on her beer to hide her embarrassment, often wondering how she and her brother grew up to be so different. Pope and John B stay mostly disinterested, only worried if they try to make a pass at an unwilling girl or fire a degrading comment at their short tempered friend. JJ Maybank is known around the island for his trouble making behavior. Usually if he gets in trouble for fights, no one ever asks who the other people were in the scuffle. Because if JJ Maybank is in the fight, he’s the one who started it, right? Wrong. In fact, JJ usually is never the one to start it. He’s good at keeping his head down and only speaking when spoken to when it comes to the Kooks - the only form of advice worth taking from his father. But his short temper is something the Kooks his age loved to take advantage of because they liked getting a rise out of him. It was like an adrenaline rush.

Luckily, tonight both groups were keeping their distance, either only talking to each other or random Tourons that have found their way to the party. This is usually JJ’s favorite part of a boneyard party. Finding his one fish in a sea of many that he can reel in just for the night and never have to worry about seeing them again.

He has his eyes set on a beautiful blonde making her way to the bonfire when all of a sudden Kie’s voice pulls him out of his trance.

“What’s she doing here?”

JJ follows her line of vision, spotting you walking down the wooden steps that lead to the beach, pulling your best friend behind you by his wrist. He first notices your smile and how it brightens up your entire face. Then of course his eyes scan down your slim but athletically toned body. You’re wearing a pair of jean shorts and a cropped white T shirt that says UNC across the chest. Who knew someone could look so good without even trying?

Well JJ did. He’s known it for a while.

“Careful. I think you’re drooling,” John B whispers in his best friend’s ear.

JJ pushes him away and mutters, “Shut up. No I’m not.”

But maybe he was.

Y/N Y/L/N is a unique resident of the island. Unlike majority of the island, she doesn’t fall in either Kook or Pogue category. She’s what everyone calls the Hybrid.

People who work hard for what they have but haven’t fallen to be Pogue status. Quite literally living in the middle in a place they call the Crest.

Your story is well versed among the gossipers of the island (which tends to be just about everybody).  And mainly that’s because of who your grandparents are.  Claude and Doris Y/L/N. Two of the riches people on the island, living in a three story house on the beach. Many people fear them, others envy them. Most feel both. Even Ward Cameron walks on egg shells around them, which is quite often, considering he works for Claude. They’re the kind of people who have never heard of Barefoot wine or Walmart. They keep their noses up and turn a blind eye to the suffering communities around them. Thirty four years ago, Doris gave birth to a daughter that couldn’t be more opposite than them. Lorelai Y/L/N was a wild child. A rule breaker. She snuck out at nights, dated boys her parents would never approve of, dabbled in breaking the law here and there. It didn’t matter how many times her parents disciplined her. She always managed to make her parents’ life a living hell. 

No one was surprised when word got passed around that Lorelai had gotten pregnant at eighteen. Although it was with another Kook, she brought shame upon her family name when she refused to get an abortion, even when her mom tried dragging her by her hair. 

Lorelai risked everything by running away from her parents’ home in the middle of a windy night. With only one suitcase, the baby daddy out of the picture, and less than a grand in her pocket, she managed to make a life for herself on the South side of the island. She worked two jobs, found an affordable apartment for cheap rent, and managed to save some money before her babies were born.

Yes, babies. As in more than one. Five months after running away from home, she gave birth to twin girls and they instantly became her entire life. With the help of her best friend Steve, who she met one month after being on her own, meeting him at his automotive shop when she very much literally rolled her junky car into the garage, she raised you and your sister on the Cut. The two of you are her greatest accomplishment. Every now and then, she mentally throws up a middle finger to everybody who doubted her, proud of who the two of you have become. 

Right before you turned ten, your mom took a business risk and opened her own Cafe. The Bikini Beans cafe, very popular amongst both Kooks and Pogues. The business did so well that she was able to move the three of you out of your shitty apartment into a beautiful one story home with three bedrooms in between the Cut and Figure Eight, aka the Crest, the summer going into your freshman year.

You actually used to be best friends with John B Routledge, JJ Maybank, and Pope Heyward. It was easier being friends with them than the girls, finding more joy in sports and rough housing than makeup and gossip. 

Doing the same summer that you moved, your mom pulled you out of Kildare County High and placed you in Outer Banks Private Academy. Aka Kook Academy. Around this time, your grandparents had also become more involved in your life, and you wondered if they had somehow bribed your mom into forcing you to transfer schools. You tried asking her during one of your many fights that started with you begging her to keep you at Kildare County High, but she quickly shut you down and told you to be grateful. That was ironic coming from the woman who ran away from the people giving her an expensive high school career. 

You had no choice but to do what your grandparents wanted and attend Kook Academy. Making friends was a lot harder there than it was in Kildare County High. You managed to make one friend in your freshman year. Andre Cortez. Due to an incident a couple years back, you built thick walls and Andre was the only one able to break them down. You were grateful for your friendship, but hanging out with him was nothing like hanging out with the Pogues. 

When you transferred schools, you lost touch with the Pogues slowly. Your life became busy with school and playing dress up for your grandparents and the boys were starting to work. Eventually all contact was cut and ever since, you’ve felt a void in your heart.

“Look,” You tell Andre. “I told you I would be your wing woman and I’m not backing down from what could possibly be the most important role in my life.”

You didn’t notice the Pogues or any of the stares around you. It’s true you’re not much of a party girl. I mean, you’ll go out here and there, have a drink or two, but you felt more comfortable at places where you weren’t surrounded by drunk and horny teenagers. 

“He’s probably not even here,” Andre says. He’s trying to look nonchalant but you notice the way his eyes dance from face to face of the people around him. 

“He told you he was going to be here, right?” You ask him with one brow raised. Andre nods. “Then, we’ll find him.”

Sarah and Kie never made any effort to talk to you at school, but to be fair, neither have you. You’ve heard mixed reviews, some people call them spoiled brats, ungrateful...some even go as far as calling them ‘The Cut Sluts.’ Of course you never take any of those things to heart. You can’t judge a book but it's cover. Plus, they’re friends with your old best friends. They can’t be that bad for John B and JJ and Pope to be hanging out with them, right?

“You think she'll come over here?” Kie asks. No one’s ever said it out loud, but her friends wonder if deep down, Kie was a little jealous of you. Because you were their first real girl friend. You were the first girl they ever let in and opened their heart too. That was a tough pill for Kie to swallow when she originally thought she was that girl. Of course the boys don’t like you any more than Kie and vice versa. But sometimes Kie wishes she could have grown up with the boys the same way you had. 

“Probably not. Unless she’s drinking,” Pope says and motions towards the keg they’re near. 

“I have an idea,” John B says and fills up a red solo cup. He hands it to JJ. “Why don’t you go offer her a cup.”

JJ snags the cup out of John B’s hand and glares at him. “Fuck off, dude.” 

“Do you guys ever see her around at school?” Pope asks the girls.

Sarah shrugs. “Not really. She doesn’t really get a long with my old group of friends.”

Kie rolls her eyes. “No one gets along with your old group of friends.”

Sarah playfully shoves Kie by the shoulder and they laugh. 

“I heard she turned down Raymond Easterling a couple weeks ago and he didn’t take it very well,” Pope says, remembering the words he heard from the kids in his class roaming the school hallways. 

Raymond goes to Kildcare County High with the Pogues. He’s known to be a trouble maker and a class clown. He works with JJ at the country club. The kid can make JJ laugh sometimes, but he wouldn’t necessarily say he likes him all that much. He can be an arrogant asshole with an ego bigger than it should be.

“She turns down everybody,” Sarah says. “Some people at my school call her ‘The Heart Sucker’ because she can pull people in with the snap of her fingers and break their heart just as quickly.”

Something stirred in the pit of JJ’s stomach.

“Hey! Where you going?” John B calls out to JJ who’s making his way deeper into the sea of people on the beach. 

“Taking advantage of a good boneyard party, my friend,” JJ calls back and slugs the rest of his beer. Looking left and right, he searches for the blonde he had eyes on earlier. Because right now, he needed a distraction. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The party starts to die down a little after midnight. Some people leave to find another party, some are passed out in the back of their cars, and others had already found what they were looking for - someone to leave with. 

The boneyard party wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be. You had found a couple of kids from your school who were nice enough to make small talk with you while Andre left to find a guy named Devon, a Touron he’s been talking to who’s renting for the entire summer. 

Now you’re waiting for Andre to come back so the two of you can walk home. You find comfort under a slanted palm tree towards the back of the beach, scrolling through random apps on your phone to pass the time.

“Y/N?” You look up from you phone and smile when you see your former best friend inching closer to you, squinting in the dark to see if it’s really you. 

“Maybank? What are you still doing here?” You stand up and pat the sand off your hands on you thighs. 

Your heart skips a beat in your chest when you look at him. He’s beautiful. Lucious blonde hair, perfectly tanned skin, piercing blue eyes. You always knew JJ was going to grow up to be gorgeous. He was cute when he was younger. At least you always thought so. 

“I was just leaving, but I thought I saw you sitting here and wanted to make sure you were all right.” He knows it’s not like you to stay this late at a party, especially all by yourself. When he first saw you sitting there, he didn’t know if he should say something. Mostly due to nerves of seeing you again. But the other Pogues had already left and he didn’t trust anyone else at the party to be near you alone late at night. It didn’t matter if you were sober or not. 

“Aw. Was JJ Maybank worried about me?” You tease. Talking to him felt easy. As if you never stopped being friends. A few years ago, you and JJ had the best banter. Despite constantly bickering back and forth, John B always swore the two of you would get married one day. The two of you just always clicked like a natural connection. And even now, when only seeing each other every now and then for a few minutes at a time, it felt normal. You smirk when JJ rolls his eyes. “I’m kidding. Yeah, I’m okay. Just waiting for my friend to come back from his little rendezvous,” You say. 

JJ nods. “Did you have a good time? I feel like I never you see at these things.”

“Yeah. Parties aren’t really my thing. But Andre was nervous to meet this guy he’s been talking to for a little while so I came for moral support.”

“Looks like he didn’t need much of the support.”

You shrug. “It’s better that way, anyway. I don’t mind waiting for him. What about you?”

“What about me?” 

“Did you have a good time tonight? I hear your quite the ladies’ man at these things.”

“Come on, Sparky. You know better than to believe everything you hear.”

Your face lights up at the mention of your old nickname. You use to always be busting out the seams with energy. On days where the boys just wanted to chill and play video games, you would drag them to the park for a game of kick ball. Or when they wanted to sleep in after a long week, you showed up at 8 am to drag them out of bed to catch the morning waves. So one day JJ started calling you Sparky, and it stuck with the rest of your little gang. You always pretended to hate it, but secretly you loved it. 

“Oh I don’t believe everything I hear. I do, however, believe what I see. And your arm around that tall blonde in the little black dress looked quite convincing.”

You first saw JJ at the party when he was making his way to the pretty girl by the water. Your teeth involuntarily clenched and there was a twisted feeling in your stomach you couldn’t shake whenever you looked at them. 

In that instant, JJ felt grateful for the dark sky. He felt the rush of heat rise up his neck to his cheeks before he could stop it. He knew the motivation to see that girl was because of you. He just wished you never saw it. But he didn’t know why. 

“I walked her home. She wasn’t my type,” JJ plays it off. 

“I didn’t realize you had a type,” You giggle, but a small part felt relieved to hear this. “So what is it? Your type?”

Hybrids with a Pogue attitude, bright smile, beautiful eyes, and a mouth that could make any sailor turn around, JJ thought. 

“I don’t know. Haven’t figured it out yet.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Well, when you figure it out let me know.”

“Why? So you can transform into my ideal girl?” He teases.

Now you’re the one thankful for the dark sky. “In your dreams, Maybank. But so far, I do have the perfect wing-woman track record, so if you needed help -”

“I don’t think I need any help in that department. Thank you very much.”

You throw your hands up in fake surrender. “Ooo. Touchy subject.”

JJ rolls his eyes at the same time your phone pings with a text message. You pull it out of your shorts pocket and open the text from Andre, telling you to leave without him because he’s gonna stay out late with Devon and won’t know what time he’s going to be done.

“Everything all right?” JJ says, watching you read the message.

You lock your phone and stuff it in your back pocket again. “Like I said. Perfect wing-woman track record.”

“That was Andre?” 

“Yeah. He’s most likely not coming home tonight.”

“Lucky bastard.”

“At least one of us is,” You joke. 

JJ’s grin slightly falters but you don’t catch it. You have no idea how much he wishes the two of you could be equally as lucky. Together. 

“Well, I should probably go,” You say and bend down to grab your flip flops.

“Let me walk you home,” JJ offers. 

“Oh no. It’s okay -”

“You’re cute. It’s wasn’t up for debate. I’m not letting you walk back by yourself.”

You scoff lightly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just humor me.”

You roll your eyes and smirk but choose not to argue. In fact, you’re excited to spend more time with JJ. It’s been so long.

“Fine.”

“And here I thought you might’ve grown out of your stubborn phase by now.”

You shove him playfully by the shoulder. “Shut up!”

And just like that, it felt like old times.

[spencers-renaissance]

Hunger

Summary: Spencer really likes his new coworkers: they're nice, welcoming, friendly, and made his transition to the BAU as easy as possible. Which makes it impossible for him to turn down an invitation to eat dinner with them at an upscale fancy restaurant, no matter how anxious that makes a boy who grew up with next to nothing feel.

Tags: insecurity, anxiety, allusions to poverty, hurt/comfort, team as family, angst with a happy ending, fluff, background jelle

TW: mentions of poverty, financial difficulties, and food insecurity

Pairing: Gen (Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid)

Word Count: 3k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

This fills my "trying not to cry" bad things happen bingo square and is set a few weeks after Spencer joins the BAU, in an AU in which Elle was there before him.

Everyone is so nice, is the thing.

And that’s great. Really, it is. Spencer isn’t about to complain when JJ kindly walks him through the filing system all the while asking questions about him and his life, or when Derek ribs him gently about his ducktail hair or his nerdy brain. No-one cuts him off when he gets carried away — unless it’s time-sensitive, of course — or teases him about anything that cuts too close to home. Being the new guy in the most prestigious unit in the FBI could’ve been a nightmare, but this team made it easy. He’s so grateful for all of it.

It just makes it really hard to turn down dinner invitations.

He watches his shaking fingers in the mirror as they button his shirt up and wrap his tie around his neck, poking it fastidiously under the collar, not a wrinkle of fabric out of place. He glances down at the countertop again, re-reading the restaurant name copied down in JJ’s careful handwriting onto a piece of copier paper regardless of having committed it to memory the first time he heard it. Sur la Rivière: a fancy European restaurant in DC.

He’d hoped for a cheap and cheerful Chinese when Hotch had first brought up the idea of a team bonding dinner, something more his style, but he’d smiled anyway when Elle had mentioned this place her foodie friend had recommended, no matter how strained it might have been. He’s the new guy after all. He doesn’t expect much swing when it comes to choosing where to eat.

As soon as his shirt and tie are perfectly in place, he gets to work on taming his curly hair. It makes him look younger when it’s loose and fluffy, and with a baby-face like his combined with already being the youngest person in the entire FBI, every year he can add on counts. Soon, though, there’s no more grooming he can use to stall the inevitable, and he sighs tiredly before clicking off the bathroom light and heading to the hall.

He collects his phone and wallet, checking for the sixth time that evening that his credit card and extra money to tip the waiter is definitely in there, grabs his keys, and heads out of his apartment. Derek is in his car waiting on the curb for him like he promised he would be, looking effortlessly suave and cool in a way Spencer never will as he honks his horn at the sight of the younger man walking towards him.

“Pretty boy!” he calls, his grin making Spencer smile, too. “Took you long enough. Hop in, fancy European cuisine awaits.”

Another rush of nerves floods Spencer’s stomach at the mention of the fate he’s signed up for, but he smiles anyway as he opens the passenger door and slides in. “Thanks for giving me a lift, Derek,” he says, hating that his anxious discomfort is so obvious in his voice.

Thankfully, Derek doesn’t pick him up on it, simply pulling away from the curb and beginning the drive across town. “How many times do I have to tell you not to mention it? I live less than ten minutes away, Spencer, it’s really not a problem.”

Spencer flushes a bit at that, wringing his hands in his lap as he watches the streets of his district pass by out the window. “Well, I appreciate it anyway,” he settles on, flashing Derek a quick smile that he doubts he sees anyway with his eyes glued so firmly to the road. “Riding the metro is a nightmare at this hour.”

“Never learned how to drive? I didn’t have the money for lessons, Spencer wants to say, irrationally frustrated at his situation. I was rushed through the academy too quickly to learn something as trivial as driving.

“I was too busy getting five degrees,” Spencer says instead, forcing a smile on his face. He wishes he wasn’t so well-practiced at managing other people’s emotions; wishes he could say what he’s really thinking. But he can’t, not in front of the people he’s trying to impress, not so soon.

“Alright, alright, I get it, you’re a genius,” Derek chuckles. “I’m glad you’re coming tonight, we all are. Gideon didn’t tell us much before he left, just that you had an IQ of 187 and he’d pulled a lot of strings to get you in at only 22.”

Spencer winces slightly at the mention of his ex-mentor. “Yeah, I’m sorry he ran out on you guys so suddenly.”

“Hey, from what I hear, he did the same to you,” Derek counters. “You guys seemed way closer than we were anyway. I never really liked the guy.”

As much as most of Spencer hates Gideon for abandoning him without warning, leaving him to find his footing in the FBI alone and afraid, a small part of him still itches to defend him. “He was a good mentor. Not such a good friend, as it turns out.”

Derek looks away from the road for a moment and shoots him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, man. But Gideon’s loss is our gain. You’re gonna be an amazing asset to the team, I just know it.”

A genuine smile crosses Spencer’s face at that. “Thanks, Derek. I can’t wait to really get stuck in, you know?”

“I remember the feeling.” Derek grins again.

They continue chatting for the rest of the journey, Spencer finally relaxing into the company of a new friend— that is, until Derek cuts across one of his stories from his second PhD. “Hey, the restaurant should be up on the left somewhere but I can’t see it…

“Oh, there,” Spencer says, pointing at the sleek, almost anonymous-looking black sign hanging above a set of fancy doors. How can doors be fancy? They’re supposed to be functional, not pretentious. All of a sudden that sinking feeling that had lifted on the car ride over settles back into his stomach and he can’t help but swallow nervously as Derek parks the car and they step out into the street.

Everyone’s already seated when they finally push through the restaurant doors, and Spencer hates that he made them both late with his apprehensive stalling, but no-one really seems to mind as they all cheer happily at the sight of them, ignoring the dirty looks it earns them from the other patrons.

“You made it!” Penelope squeals as she gets up from her seat to give Spencer a hug. He’s a little touch-averse, really, but something about Penelope’s hugs make him never want to leave her arms. He does anyway, though, and he and Derek find their seats opposite one another at the end of the table.

“I’m glad you’re here, Spencer,” Hotch says kindly as the waitress passes the two late-comers their menus.

“You’ll fit right in,” JJ promises, “we’re like a weird little family, to be honest.”

Spencer flushes a bit under the attention of so many experienced FBI agents, but he nods anyway before they all get started on deciding what to eat. He listens vaguely to everyone talking amongst themselves, giving one another suggestions in a way that corroborates JJ’s statement, and all of a sudden Spencer’s collar feels tight. It’s not just the nerves of meeting new people or the anxiety of an alien social environment, he realises he doesn’t recognise a single item on the menu.

He knows what the words themselves mean, but reading the words 'tortellini of venison’ and trying to imagine deer meat pasta is not easily done. The only simple meals seem to be seafood and Spencer’s never been a fan of fish. The only food he can even begin to imagine himself actually putting in his mouth, chewing, and swallowing is the porterhouse steak: not that he’s ever really eaten much red meat like that.

Spencer isn’t a fussy eater. He’s eaten a wide variety of dishes from any number of different restaurants across multiple cuisines, he’s just never had the kind of money to eat at a place that serves caviar, for God’s sake. Far too soon, the waitress wanders back over to the table, taking everyone’s orders with a polite smile on her face.

He listens as everyone confidently orders their meals: the smoked trout, the Moroccan quail, the lobster tagliatelle. Spencer thanks the heavens he isn’t a vegetarian, at least, but it’s not much of a consolation prize when everyone’s eyes fall on him.

“Uh, I’ll have the porterhouse steak,” he says uncertainly, hoping nobody notices the sweat beading on his forehead or the anxiety raging behind his eyes.

Everyone seems to accept his answer, the waitress taking their menus and walking back towards the kitchen as the rest of them resume their conversation. Hotch’s eyes linger a moment too long on him, and Spencer thinks he sees something like concern in his gaze, but before he can think much of it, Penelope’s drawing everyone’s attention to JJ’s bracelet.

“Can we please appreciate this?” she says, sounding scandalised for some reason Spencer can’t quite discern from context yet. “Elle, baby, you have taste. This is absolutely gorgeous! Are you sure you don’t want to date me, too?”

Spencer’s eyebrows raise slightly at that. “Oh, you two are together?” he asks, although now that he realises it he’s not sure how he didn’t notice sooner.

“Are you sure you’re a profiler, kid?” Derek laughs. “They don’t exactly hide it.

“Even though they’re supposed to,” Hotch chimes in with a faux stern look. “You two are gonna have my job at some point.” “Aw, but where would we find another Unit Chief that would help us hide our secret so well?” Elle says charmingly, making everyone laugh, including JJ, who presses her face into her shoulder fondly.

It’s easy for Spencer to momentarily lose himself in the banter, smiling as they tease one another, interspersing their gripes and funny stories from work among it all. They include him in all of it, and he doesn’t feel left out for even a second, finally relaxing into the unfamiliar environment of a fancy restaurant, eased by the reassuring company of his new team.

“JJ’s right,” he muses out loud when there’s a brief lull in conversation, “you guys really are like a little family.”

JJ leans away from Elle towards him for a moment, wrapping him in a side hug. “And you’re the perfect addition to it, Spence,” she says softly, everyone’s expressions reading nothing but fond agreement. “We needed a little brother to add into the mix.”

Spencer blushes again but leans into her touch.

No-one gets a chance to say anything else before the food arrives, the servers bringing JJ and Elle’s meals first, then serving Hotch and Penelope, before they finally bring out his and Derek’s order.

Everyone dives into their food, immediately making noises of contentment, passing bites around to one another, but Spencer can’t join in the jubilant celebration of a good meal. He picks his knife and fork up shakily as he stares at the massive portion of steak in front of him. It’s served with roast potatoes and flecks of a pointless salad that he suspects is only there as a garnish rather than actually part of the meal, but that’s not what has him worried.

This huge slab of meat hasn’t been sliced beforehand. He knows that he’ll shake the whole table if he tries to do it: it’s a massive, impenetrable slab of red meat that Spencer has no chance of enjoying, let alone finishing. He stares at it as tears burn in his eyes: he’s so out of his comfort zone and he’s so terrified of messing up and pushing away these newfound friends that he can’t move.

“Spence?” JJ cuts in gently, putting a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look up, only to find everyone looking at him with worried expressions on their faces. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” he says, standing up abruptly, the disturbance of the table barely registering in his brain. “I just need a minute.”

He rushes out of the restaurant without looking back, drawing in deep breaths as soon as he’s in the cool evening air of spring. Thoughts race through his mind at a million miles an hour as he grasps for something concrete to grab onto, eventually settling for a tall flower pot.

“Spencer?”

He looks up to find Hotch standing next to him, deep concern written across his face, and Spencer’s heart clenches at the thought that he’s already messed this up so quickly. Could this night possibly get any worse?

Apparently, it can, because all of a sudden he feels his face crumple and the stinging tears finally spill down his cheeks. He sinks down to the ground and buries his face in his hands, humiliation glimmering in every cell of his body.

“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says gently, lowering himself to the cool pavement next to him and placing a warm hand on his back. He lets him cry it out for a couple of minutes, his palm drawing small circles in between his shoulder blades, trying again to get through to him when Spencer’s sobs calm down slightly. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

With a shuddering breath, he forces himself to lift his face from his palms, although he still refuses to meet Hotch’s eyes, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the Korean restaurant across the street. “I guess it just all got to be too much,” he whispers.

“Yeah?” Hotch says encouragingly. “What specifically?”

“I— I didn’t have much growing up. It was just me and my mom so we were living in the middle of Vegas on a single disability check each month. And, uh, then I went to college, and I was barely scraping by there, too. It’s only recently that I’ve known the luxury of knowing for sure I was eating that night, and it still gets to me sometimes when I’m faced with fancy restaurants and heavy, expensive meals. My body’s had to work for years on virtually nothing, there’s no way I can stomach a steak like that. I guess, all those feelings that are a lifetime in the making combined with the anxiety of eating with the team for the first time… wanting to make a good impression, it just all got too much. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Hotch raises a hand, and Spencer finally meets his eyes, finding nothing but compassion and understanding there no matter how much he searches. “You don’t need to apologise, Spencer, not for something like this. I’m sorry that none of us thought to make the first team dinner with you a more casual affair, and I’m even more sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell us you were uncomfortable.” “It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but I’m glad you accept my apology,” Hotch says, smiling softly. “You know, we all bring baggage with us, Spencer. I can’t relate to food insecurity, but I had my own issues when I first joined the BAU. I grew up with a pretty terrible father, and the thing I found myself reprimanded for the most when I was a new recruit was the inability to follow orders. I’d spent my whole life scared of this man, obeying his every word, and I couldn’t help but hear him when my superiors would tell me to do something. When I was finally free of him, it was like I couldn’t help but rebel.

“You’re not the only one whose childhood follows them around, and I’d much rather it be something like this that we can easily manage, than something that will affect you or the team in the field, okay? Instead of beating yourself up over things you can’t control, try and remember that you have a whole new family who will do anything they can to make you feel as comfortable as possible. We already think the world of you, Spencer. Sacrificing fancy dinners that — let’s face it — can’t beat cheap junk food anyway is hardly a big ask.

Warmth spreads across his chest at Hotch’s words, replacing the feelings of failure and rising anxiety with something that feels like a promise of all the good to come. There’s something fatherly, something deeply paternal in Hotch that there wasn’t in Gideon, and it’s the most comfort Spencer’s felt in years. “Really?”

“Really,” Hotch nods, squeezing his shoulder gently. “You wait here one minute, okay?”

“Okay…” Hotch is gone before he can finish replying, and Spencer is left staring at the doors confused, until the rest of the team are piling out of them a few minutes later, Hotch bringing up the rear with his jacket and wallet in hand.

“We just paid the tab. How does cheap Chinese food eaten in the park a couple hundred yards down sound?” Hotch suggests, raising an eyebrow as he smiles warmly at Spencer.

He looks around briefly at the rest of the team, who are all giving him encouraging looks, not a trace of judgement or annoyance to be found.

“That sounds amazing,” he laughs wetly, the tears springing to his eyes this time caused by a completely different emotion. “I can pay you back, though.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, pretty boy,” Derek says, patting Spencer’s back, “we’ve got it. Now, come on, I’m gonna order sweet and sour chicken balls, and I want them now.”

“That’s what she said,” Penelope giggles, linking her arm with Derek’s.

“That was terrible, baby girl, but I love that you tried.”

“Do you want to share shrimp chop suey with me, babe?” Elle asks JJ as they clasp hands, walking a couple of steps ahead of them.

“Well, I’m certainly not sharing with any of these losers,” JJ teases, before kissing Elle’s cheek.

Spencer feels Hotch place his hand on his back, and he turns to smile gratefully at the older man. “Thank you,” he says quietly, trying to convey just how earnestly he means it. “No-one’s ever done anything this nice for me before.”

There’s a slightly sad tinge to Hotch’s smile, but it doesn’t look like pity. “I’d get used to it if I were you. That’s just how we do things in the BAU.”

Well, if that’s the case, Spencer thinks, smiling as he falls into step between Hotch and Penelope, I think I might just stick around.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @temily @jellejareau @reidology @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @tobias-hankel @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @sbeno22 @im-autistic-not-stupid(taglist form)

[the-modernmary]

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 7)

Chapter summary: Your best friend confronts you about your revived relationship with Aaron and how much things have changed from two years ago when you run into the BAU at a bar. 

A/N: This chapter is definitely not my finest work, but we get some background on Hotch and reader. The part that is italicized is a flashback.

masterlist || read on ao3

Don't you want to take time and get to love me? We could build a perfect world I got tricks I really want to show you I could be your perfect girl - Wolf Alice, “Your Love's Whore"

~~~~~~~

“Okay, I can’t deal with this anymore. I have to say something.”

You looked up from your textbook to see the disappointed stare of your best friend, Aly, from the other side of the bar. She worked as a bartender, so sometimes you would hang out with her while she was working, maybe do some homework, and she would give you drinks with the employee discount price.

The two of you had been best friends since you were in middle school. When your mom died and your dad went back to prison, you were originally supposed to be shipped off to live with an aunt in another state that you had never met before, but Aly’s parents decided to claim legal guardianship over you, allowing you to live with them. From then on, you and Aly had become inseparable, even following each other to college. 

You snorted softly and took a sip from your drink. “Oh boy, this should be interesting,” you said sarcastically, and Aly rolled her eyes as she tossed the bar towel over her shoulder.

“You are acting way too casual about the whole Aaron thing.” You groaned, but she didn’t give you a chance to speak up. “He just shows up out of the blue after two years, and you dive right back in, head first, and act like nothing changed? You’re not even going to ask him what happened?”

You sighed. You knew that this was going to be a conversation that Aly was going to have with you at some point, and you were actually a little surprised that it took her a full month before saying anything, but that didn’t mean you liked it. “Yeah, because the murder of his ex-wife and the attempted murder of his son makes great pillow talk. No, I haven’t talked to him about that.” You rolled your eyes as you finished the rest of your drink. “And I don’t need to. The only reason you’re making this a big deal is because you don’t like Aaron.”

She stared at you in disbelief. “Don’t like him? Babe, how can I have any opinion on him if I don’t know him? I didn’t even know that you were sleeping with him until you called me crying because you thought-”

“I really don’t want to have this conversation,” you cut her off, and you pushed your empty glass towards her, wordlessly asking for a refill. You didn’t want to go through those memories right now. Or ever, if you could help it. “I don’t need to know everything about his life. It’s not like we’re getting married.”

Aly raised an eyebrow at you as she started to make you another drink. “Maybe not, but do you want to? Do you want an actual relationship?”

“No!” you said, too quickly and too defensively, but it was true. You liked what you had with Aaron, all of the benefits and fun parts of dating somebody without any of the responsibilities. But you understood where Aly was coming from.

If there were such a thing as “Build-A-Boyfriend”, and if you were being completely honest with yourself, your ideal partner would probably be a lot like Aaron. More age appropriate perhaps, less baggage for sure, and most likely with a different job, one that didn’t slowly chip away at his soul until he became a shell of a man.

But somebody determined and focused like him. With a soft side like his, and the same dry sense of humor as him. A person you could talk to for hours, who sees you and pushes you towards greatness. Maybe even somebody who makes you feel special because they can only ever relax and be carefree around you. Somebody who just wants to do good in the world and who cares.

Somebody like that.

Aly opened her mouth to say something, but it quickly closed it as she looked at the entrance. “Damn, there’s a group coming in. Okay, I actually have to do my job now. But we will talk about this later.”

You started to tease her until you caught sight of the said group walking in. “Shit,” you hissed under your breath, turning your back towards the door and praying they didn’t see you. “We summoned them.”

Aly looked at you in confusion. “Y/N, what-”

“That’s Aaron and his team,” you whispered, although it didn’t matter much, “and will you please stop staring?”

A gasp left Aly’s mouth and, in true best friend fashion, she didn’t stop staring. Despite Penelope’s invitation a week earlier, you had been able to avoid going out with the BAU team. It wasn’t that you didn’t like them - you actually really liked being around them - but it would have made things way too complicated with Aaron. He compartmentalized even more than you. “Which one is he?” she asked excitedly, and you had to reach over the bar to get her to turn around.

“You’re going to draw so much attention to yourself,” you hissed, and the two of you started to frantically talk over each other.

“Because I want to know which one-”

“- Tell you later -”

“- have to at least take their order -”

“- Really don’t want to see them -”

“- Coming over here now -”

“Hey Y/N!”

You grimaced to yourself before turning around on the barstool, forcing a smile. Penelope was the one who greeted you, but the rest of the BAU had made their way to where you were sitting. The looks they were giving you unsettled you, like they all knew something you didn’t, but you decided to chalk it up to nervousness. Aaron, however, was standing in the back and looking about as mortified as you felt.

“Hey guys,” you said, stretching out each word. You weren’t drunk enough for this. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world…”

“Casablanca,” Spencer noted out loud. 

Aly smirked and leaned against the bar. “Y/N, are you going to introduce me to all of your FBI friends?”

You had to fight the urge to glare at her, because you knew what she was doing. She wanted you to introduce her to Aaron, but she was just going to have to wait. “Aly, this is the BAU team. BAU team, this is Aly.”

Aly pouted at you but surprisingly said nothing else. You weren’t sure if you were grateful for that or if it just made you more nervous.

Emily looked at the open textbook that was long forgotten next to you. “Are you studying at a bar?” she asked, amusement evident in her voice. “I thought only Reid did that.”

You shrugged and closed the textbook. “I was studying, but I gave up on that about an hour ago,” you admitted. 

“Good!” Penelope said excitedly. “Because if you’re not studying, then you can join us!”

Your eyes flicked nervously to Aaron, whose face was completely unreadable. You wanted him to give you some sign of what he thought would be the best, but he just stared at you, stoic as ever. The conversation that you had with Aly was playing on repeat in your mind, making you feel sick. You didn’t care about Aaron’s past. You couldn’t care.

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude,” you settled on.

“It’s no intrusion at all,” Rossi piped up, and you and Aaron both stiffened. Rossi knew about you and Aaron, so the fact that he was encouraging you to mingle with the rest of the group was a bad sign. “And besides, drinks are on me tonight.”

Aly laughed from behind the bar. “If that’s the case, then she is definitely joining you guys so that she can stop mooching off my employee discount without even tipping me.”

So just like that, it was settled. You grumbled something about always tipping as you grabbed your drink and your textbook before following the group to a large corner booth. You didn’t miss the smirks each of the team members was throwing your way, and you definitely noticed that they left the only open seat next to Aaron. The two of your exchanged tight-lipped smiles as you slid into the empty space, careful not to touch Aaron. This was partly because you wanted to keep a calm and collected exterior, even if the team did know about you and Aaron - which you had started to suspect.

It was also partly because the idea of being Aaron’s dirty little secret right in front of his coworkers was too tempting, and you already had 2 long island iced teas, so you did not trust your self-control.

“So Y/N,” JJ started, breaking you out of your thoughts. You had hoped, maybe naively, that they would just ignore you and let you observe for the night. “Does Aly go to law school with you?”

You laughed despite yourself and you shook your head. “God, no. Although, she did take the LSAT with me so that even if I totally bombed it, I wouldn’t have the worst score.”

“What did you get on it?” Spencer asked, and you saw Aaron perk up slightly at the question.

“A 174,” you beamed.

“Look at you go! You’re like our own personal Elle Woods!” Penelope praised, and your heart swelled at the use of the word “our”, like you were already a part of the group.

“I wish,” you chuckled. “But that brilliant bitch got a 179.”

A simultaneous “Who?” came from both Spencer and Aaron.

“From Legally Blonde?” you prompted, but were met with more confused stares. “The greatest lawyer movie of all time?” They shook their heads again. “Okay, you both need to watch it, it’s a classic. Miss Woods was quite literally the only reason I was able to get through my first year.”

Well, that and fucking Aaron every chance you got, but they didn’t need to know that. 

You heard a gasp come from Penelope. “We should do another movie night! We haven’t had one of those in a while.”

Emily laughed and nudged Penelope softly. “Do you not remember the fiasco we had last time we did a movie night? We almost burnt down Rossi’s house.”

Laughter erupted from the table as multiple parties started to talk over each other, and you were happy to slide into the background, making little quips when the conversation called for it. The most surprising part of the whole night was how easily you got along with the BAU group, and how much they seemed to like you. Less surprising, however, was how acutely aware you were of Aaron’s thigh, which was now pressed against your own.

Aaron had stayed completely silent since the time the team walked up to you, and you could only imagine what was going on in his head. This whole situation was probably a living nightmare for him, and you couldn’t say you blamed him. Your choice to keep Aaron a secret from your friends was just that - a personal choice. You didn’t want them to fuss over you or put delusions in your head of a future with Aaron. You wanted to be able to enjoy your privacy.

But the implications for Aaron were much more severe, especially now that you were actually working at the FBI. People would start to question his judgment, whether or not he was fit for his job. They would question if he had taken advantage of you or manipulated you, and that would all be before they even found out that the two of you were sleeping together years ago. He could very possibly be seen as just a high ranking government official who was sneaking around with a girl almost 20 years his junior.

In other words, it would look really, really bad for him. You downed the rest of your drink in one go.

Aaron raised his eyebrows as he watched your actions, his gaze heavy. His eyes ran up and down your body, and you could feel yourself start to overheat. He felt much closer than he was. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you noticed that the rest of the team had scattered among the bar - some playing pool, some ordering more drinks, and some in the bathroom - which left you and Aaron alone in the booth. There was enough room that he didn’t need to have his leg pressed up against you, and he definitely didn’t need to bring his hand down to your knee, but he did. 

“So, a 174? Impressive.”

“Mhm,” you mused, keeping your voice casual. “Does that surprise you?”

“Not at all,” he responded, no hesitation in his voice. 

His response didn’t surprise you much, but you preened at the compliment all the same. You wanted people, especially Aaron, to think of you as effortlessly successful and to be impressed by you. So you didn’t show them the countless hours spent in the library, and the many all nighters you pulled. You were careful to only show people the parts of you that you could brag about, like your class rankings or debates on subjects you were an expert in, so that it looked like it came naturally to you. So you didn’t look like you were struggling.

Part of that came after your mom died. You didn’t want everybody fussing over you and treating you like you were breakable, so you quickly decided to show that you were independent. If you didn’t give people a reason to worry about you, they’d leave you alone. 

The other part of that came during law school. You knew yourself enough to realize that it was probably because of Aaron, and how much he rubbed off on you. You wanted to be engaging like him, to be able to completely command a room without even saying a word like him. You wanted success like him. Aaron noticed that early on and challenged you. He let you debate with him just so that you could practice going against somebody smarter and more experienced than you. And it paid off. 

~~~~~~~

You stared at the email on your phone, your cheeks sore from how much you were smiling. You had already told all of your friends, but their reaction wasn’t as satisfying as you wanted. They were ecstatic for you, but realistically, you only wanted the approval of one person. 

Your thumb hovered over Aaron’s contact in your phone, debating on whether or not to call him. This could probably be a text, but Aaron was so formal when texting, even when dirty texts were involved. Besides, you wanted to hear Aaron’s approval, and even more than that, you wanted his attention. Even if it was just for a minute or two, you wanted his attention in the middle of a weekday, something you never got. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you hit the call button and brought the phone up to your ear. 

“Aaron Hotchner,” came the greeting, formal as ever. 

“Aaron, hi,” you started, and you were happy that Aaron couldn’t see the way you were nervously tugging the hem of your shirt. 

There was a beat of silence. “Y/N,” he said, surprise evident in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is great! I, uh…” You realized that you didn’t have a good explanation to give to Aaron as to why you were calling him while he was at work. “Is this a good time?”

You could hear light footsteps on the other side of the phone, followed by the soft click of a door closing. “That depends on the subject matter,” he mused, his voice lowering.

All the nervousness you felt melted away. “I made law review!” you blurted excitedly. “I just got the email and I didn’t have anybody else to tell. And God knows you’ve helped edit my papers enough, so I figured I’d share this with you.”

You wished that you could have seen Aaron’s face. You wanted to know if he was smiling, or if he looked proud. In hindsight, telling him in person probably would have been more rewarding. 

“I knew you’d get it,” he told you sincerely. “Automatic or write on?”

“Automatic,” you told him proudly.

“Congratulations, Y/N. That’s a big deal. I’m sure you’re going to celebrate tonight. It’s Bar Review night, right?”

You hummed to yourself, attempting to calm your nerves. You dropped your voice, adding a more seductive tone. “Actually… I was hoping that maybe I could be rewarded for all my hard work? Please?”

He hadn’t said no to you yet, and you doubted today would be any different. 

Aaron chuckled, low and dark. “Mhm, since you asked so nicely…” His voice trailed off, and you could practically hear him stiffen up. “But I can’t tonight.”

”Oh.” He didn't elaborate, and doesn’t have to. If it were for a case, he would have told you. When he didn’t say anything, that meant it was a Haley and Jack thing. Still, you couldn’t help but note the disappointment that bled into his words. 

“Are you busy this weekend?” he asked, his voice soft. “We could meet in Baltimore. Same hotel. I can make reservations now.”

For the second time that day, you smiled so wide that your cheeks hurt. Attention was what you wanted, and attention was what you got. “Baltimore sounds good. Send me the details.”

~~~~~~~

You mindlessly stirred the ice in your empty glass with the straw, listening to the soft clinking. “What about you? What did you get on your LSAT?”

Aaron thought about it for a second. “A 176. I think.”

A bitter chuckle left your lips and you turned in your seat just enough so that you could face Aaron. You were so close to him that, even in the dark lighting of the bar, you could make out every feature on his face. “Christ, and here I was thinking I could out-lawyer you,” you teased.

Aaron took a sip of his drink — double scotch neat. “I’ve seen the way you like to argue with me. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to go up against you in court,” he scoffed. 

“Hm, yeah but you like it when I argue with you,” you pointed out, leaning in closer to him. “Because then you get to shut me up.”

Aaron set his drink down on the table, his face never betraying any sort of emotion. “Come over tonight,” he told you, his voice lowering. The hand that was on your knee slowly trailed up your thigh, his fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You smirked, deciding to mess with him a little. “Presumptuous of you to assume I don’t already have plans after this.” You didn’t, and Aaron knew that. He somehow always knew. 

In spite of that, he decided to indulge your teasing. “Cancel them.” It wasn’t a suggestion, and he punctuated his demand by squeezing your thigh. “I can help you study later.”

That was all the convincing you needed. You slipped out of the booth, ready to pull him straight out of the bar, but his face gave you pause. “Meet me at my car in two minutes,” he told you firmly, and you nodded obediently and sat back down.

You watched him start to walk out of the bar, only to be stopped by Emily and Derek. You watched as the three of them talked, Aaron's whole body tensing. There was a lull in the conversation before the three of them looked over at you, Emily and Derek trying to hide their drunken smiles.

They knew. They had to know. It’s not like you and Aaron were being subtle. In some part of your subconscious, you were sure that they knew long before tonight, and that this was just a confirmation. Still, you didn’t know how Aaron was going to react. You thought that Aaron was going to deny it, or even end things with you right there. Besides that one office-sex slip up, Aaron had been so careful about keeping you a secret from his professional life, even going as far as asking you to not call his office phone. In a shocking turn of events, he just smiled and gave you a small nod before making his way towards the door.

Figuring that you didn’t need to wait the two minutes anymore, you started to head towards the exit, blushing as you went. You could feel everybody’s eyes on you the whole time, but when you looked around, none of them seemed to be judging you. If anything, they seemed… happy? You were just about to reach the doors when Penelope cut you off.

“Does this mean you’ll start having lunch with me in the Batcave?” she said excitedly, not even needing to preface her question. They all knew.

“Whenever I get a chance,” you promised.

Penelope reached down to grab your hands, covering them both with hers. “Good! It can get lonely when they’re all off saving the world.”

“Hey Penelope,” you started, pursing your lips nervously. “Is this thing with Aaron and I… is it okay? I don’t want to make things weird for your team.”

Penelope gave you a sympathetic look and shook her head quickly, like even the very act of bringing it up made her sad. “Of course it’s okay! Hotch is happier than we’ve seen him in a long time, and that’s all we want for him. He’s a good guy who has just been through too much. But if he gives you any problems, you come straight to us. You’re one of us now.”

Then, without any warning, Penelope pulled you into the tightest hug you’ve ever gotten. You could smell her perfume, something floral and sweet. “Thank you,” you said as she let you go.

“Oh no, thank you,” she retorted, grinning. “Now you go have fun.”

You laughed and walked out of the bar, making your way to the parking lot. Part of you was still worried about Aaron’s reaction to knowing the secret was out.

But when you saw Aaron leaning against his car, and you saw his smile when he looked up to see you, all your fears were assuaged. “Who ambushed you?” he called from across the parking lot, his voice light.

“Penelope,” you admitted, and he nodded unsurprised as he opened the passenger side door for you.

You buckled your seatbelt and watched as Aaron made his way into the driver's seat and loosened his tie. “Are you okay with them knowing?” you asked nervously.

Aaron was quiet as he started the car, so quiet that you thought that maybe he didn’t even hear you. It wasn’t until the car pulled out of the parking lot that he spoke. “Yes,” he told you, and it truly seemed like he meant it. Then, as a joke, he added, “Although, I reserve the right to change my mind after seeing them at work tomorrow.” 

“What?” you teased. “You’re not going to spill all of the dirty details to your coworkers?”

Aaron laughed and fuck if that wasn’t the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. “I thought you needed to study.”

You shrugged and leaned over the center console just far enough to press a kiss to his jaw. “I do. So you better make it worth my time,” you purred into his ear, smirking as you watched his knuckles turn white from clenching the steering wheel. “Or you can get me off while I study?”

You thought back to what Aly had said about whether things changed between you and Aaron. On paper, everything had changed. There was no need for secrecy or sneaking around anymore. You wouldn’t need to travel an hour outside of the city just to be seen with each other in public. The unspoken rules were going to change, considering the two of you had broken pretty much all of them already. Aaron had changed, and so had you. It was impossible for it to be the same as it was two years ago.

But as you sat in the passenger’s seat of his car, Aaron grinning devilishly at you, you couldn’t help but think that at its core, nothing really changed. 

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Kookie - JJ maybank x reader

Request by @charlieandindy : JJ 5&15 from fluffy prompt list

5: “Can we stay like this forever?”

15: “I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”

a\n: I changed up the wording of the prompts a little to fit better into the idea I had but oh well.

trigger warnings: underage drinking, cursing

Word count: 2957

1:00 PM

I was sitting on the beach with my so-called friends. I don't think that JJ and John B are my biggest fans, but they didn't have a choice. I was Sarah's friend, and from time to time she would bring me along and John forced JJ to come with. you may be asking, why would you hand out together if you don't like each other? Well, that's because Sarah told her dad she's hanging out with me at the beach, and they thought it be better to get someone to keep me company. They could've gotten Kie to do it, since me and her get along decently, but she wasn't included in the very short list of people that know about the star-crossed lover.

That's where JJ came in. JJ and I got along like oil and water. We teased each other constantly, ever since we became aware of each other's existence   – he would call me a cocky Kook thinking he's the next big comedian for that less-then-mediocre pun, and I would call him a dumb Pogue. I mean, I guess he's good-looking, bud why the fuck would Sarah try to set me up with a pretty much convicted criminal? John and Sarah went down to the water, but Instead of interacting with JJ, I drew lines on the sand with a random stick.

"so, what's with your face?" I ask JJ, getting annoyed with the silence. "huh?" he says, snapping back to reality, "oh, that. Nothing, just... fell" he made up an excuse. I could tell it's an excuse. "really? Well, you fall quite a lot. Do they no teach you how to walk in pogue school?" I ask. "ha-ha, very funny, do they teach you comedy is Kook school?" JJ spat back. "no need to get so pressed, Maybank" I reply, smirking at the fact I got on his nerves. "no one calls me Maybank, and I would like that to stay this way" he sighs and placing his hands on the towel to lean back. Suddenly his muscles are very visible, but I look away before he catches me staring. "ya wanna feel 'em?" he asks, but it's clear from his voice he just wants me to know he caught me. Shit. "no, ew, your gross" I reply. He laughs. "oh, is it below you to touch a dirty pogue?" he asks. "no, it's below me to touch you" I reply. "ohhh that hurt, (y\n)" he says, holding his chest like he's in pain. "whatever, Maybank" I sigh. "so, are you coming to the summer fest tonight?" he asks. "yeah, why, would you?" I ask. he nods, "neh, I'm gonna hang out with JB, probably. Drink a little. If you'll be nice I'll stop by and give you the honor of dancing with me". "I don't think they let criminals in" I look at him. His hand is covering his eyes from the sun and he squints, looking at me. "see, now, that was not very nice, Kookie".

That was another nickname he gave me, cookie with a K. "cause, you know, you're a Kook". At first, I tried to put aside our history, but the teasing drove me nuts, and I can't let him win. This game goes way back.

I was reading at my porch. "hey, Kookie" a familiar voice said. "hey" I rolled my eyes at the 13-year-old blond boy. He was hired by my family to mow the grass when he was 11 and they got him ever since. "what are you reading?" he asked. "Matilda" I reply, "it's about a girl who's so smart, and the braincells she doesn’t use do magic". "sounds... logistic" he said back. "do you even know what does the word 'logistic' mean, pogue?" I laugh at him. "yeah, it's when something is logical, so it can also happen in real life" he says. I laugh, "I think you meant realistic" I say and place a bookmark inside the book before I close it and put it aside. "logistic is from the world logistics, which is planning complicated things so that they would work well, realistic is when something can also happen in real life and makes sense that it would be true" I explained to him. he looked at me, confused. "even for a pogue, you are stupid" I said, and grab my book. "well, even for a Kook, you're mean" he replied and went back to do his job.

6:00 PM

"hey Kie" I smile at her. We were friends back when she hung out with Sarah, but then all the things between them went down, and she stayed back. "hi" she smiles politely. Her parents were always happy to see us talking, and mine were thrilled that I have friends other then Sarah, so we had this un-spoken agreement to talk in Kook events. We talked for a little while until she caught a glimpse of her friend, I believe his name is Pope. He's the one who drowned Top's boat. Speaking of the devil, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "(y\n)" he smiled at me, pulling me into a hug. "hi Top, how are you? I ask. "actually, not that great. How about you?" he asks. "I'm great. Why aren't you?" I ask, pretending to care. I may be a Kook, but even I can not stand him and Rafe and how they are constantly beating up JJ and the other Pogues. Maybe that's what happened to his face? He would hate to admit a Kook beat him up that bad and he "lost" the fight. Typical proud man. "it's just.. Sarah. Something feels off, you know?" he says.

10:00 am

"shit, (y\n), knock on the door!" Sarah sighed. Her hands hugged someone who was not Topper, and he was holding her waist. "sorry, if I was aware of the fact you're cheating on your boyfriend I would knock" I say, closing the door behind me and sitting sown on the bed. "now, come on, we have to finish the summer project we're supposed to do together" I say, taking out the books from my beg. "we're kind of in the middle of something…" the guy says. I recognize him as one of the Pogues. Was he the one that aimed a gun to Topper's head? No, he was the one Topper almost drowned.

"actually, John B, I invited her, it's important" Sarah sighs. "oh, and please don't tell Topper. It happened so fast, and I want to break up with Topper, I just.. need the right time, and-" "Sarah, it's cool, I'll keep you're secret. That's what friends are for" I say, "you're lucky I don't like Topper".

"oh, really? Cause she's normal with me" I say. "well, so you know if I've done something? Or like... what, is she seeing someone else?" Topper insists. "Sarah wouldn't cheat, Top" I say, "kinda sad that you believe she will". "cut the crap, (y\n), I know it won't be the first time" he says, a bit upset. "look, I don't know anything, okay?" I reply, and with that I walk away. Lying to Topper made me feel a little shittier then I thought, so I went to find Sarah. I barley got anywhere when everyone started cheering. Ward and Rose walked out of the house. "she looks like lady liberty" I thought to myself, "Barbie addition". Sarah walked out right behind them, and Topper grabbed her hand before I got to her.

They walked over to the porch. I followed them. "hey, where were you yesterday?" Topper asked. "I was out of town" Sarah replies. "out of town?" he repeated her, asking for confirmation. She nods. "where did you go?" he keeps interrogating. "Chapel Heel" She says. "Chapel Heel" he repeats her answer, trying to rock her confidence, "what? with you're family—"no" she cuts him off. "no?" he asks. "a friend". She notices me, and her eyes scream "come save me". "a friend. A friend? What friend?" he asks. "it was me, I believe, we have this history project we're doing together and we needed the state archives" I barged in. "yeah" Sarah agrees, "and actually, we found some really interesting information about the history of Tannyhill, like, the founder was this slave guy, that appeared out of nowhere" she adds. "yeah, Denmark Tanny. He had a son, and according to the records, dude was hot" I say, but Topper seems to have enough. "okay" he says, "I believe you; you don't have to bore me to death". "well, we actually need to talk some more about this, that's the reason I approached you guys in the first place. I'm sorry to steal your girlfriend again" I say and drag Sarah into the house. "well just don't- don't kiss her!" he says. We shoot him a smile to pretend it's funny and close the door behind us.

"thank you, (y\n), I own you big time" Sarah says. "yes, you are. Lying to Topper is not as fun as I expected" I say. "look, I'll break up with him soon. My dad just wanted the night Drama-free" she replies, taking a glass of wine. "well, I sure feel like an actor" I tell her and take a glass myself. She laughs, "yeah, you deserve an Oscar for your performance".

9:00

I was dancing with Sarah when JJ approached us. He was behind Sarah, so i noticed him first. "JJ?" I ask. "yup" he replies, and Sarah turns around. "what?" she says, confused to see him. "I got, uh, a note from Vlad" he says, dancing next to her. "I thought you said you'd stop by to dance with me" I say, slightly offended. "(y\n)!" he smiles at me. "Vlad?" Sarah asks. "yup, just read the note" JJ says to her, and then offers me his hand. "fine" I sigh, and take it. He place one hand on my back, above my waist to dips me. "oh, you got moves" I laugh as he pulls me back up. We move around, dancing. "you're not too bad yourself" he says, based on the seconds we got to dance together. Rafe comes closer to us. "I'm wonderin' if you could get me a mai tai, my friend" he says, resting his arms on JJ's shoulder in a threatening matter. "yeah, Pogue, why don't you make it two?" Kelce adds, stepping closer to JJ. "actually, we're in the middle" I say. "yeah, so how about you guys just go wait by the bar?" JJ says, placing his hands around my waist so that we can go back to dancing. "no, we're going to wait for you to be free" Rafe said. "sure, yeah, meanwhile, help yourselves for some hors d'oeuvrs". "guys, JJ's gonna serve us some hors d'oeuvrs" Rafe says to his friends. "well, (y\n), I wish we could stay like this forever, but, uh, I'll be right back" he says, slowly walking away from the dance floor, "here are the hors d'oeuvrs-" I hear him. "we're actually gonna follow you in here, just to make sure…" Rafe says, and then I hear running.

This kid can't stay put of trouble. A few minutes passed, but he didn't come back. Too bad, it was nice. "I wish we could stay like this forever" his words kept repeating in my head. Did he really mean that? I mean, we're always teasing each other, maybe it was in a flirty manner rather than hateful? For him, I mean, cause I don't like him. I don't think I like him. do I like him? shit.

10:00 PM

I stood outside. "look—look man, I can walk myself" I hear a voice that I recognize as JJ's, "I got legs, can you see that brother?" he kept going, and I suspect he's a bit tipsy. "I really appreciate what you did there, let me just walk myself out" JJ won't shut up. "Mr. Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that's really nice for you, I'm actually gonna down that" he said, and took the drink from Mr. Dunleavy. Man, JJ got some balls to act like that. I can barley make out the words of the other people involved, but JJ's heard loud and clear. "it's okay everybody! Do not panic!" he calls, "leave it to the men and women in uniforms! Let's hear it for them!" he starts clapping. I'm about to join, but since no one else does I give up. I think he's saying something, but I can't hear him. I come closer to the scene and end up next to Kiara. "Rose! You look like lady liberty" he says. "let go of him!" Kiara yells, "you can't just boot him!".

"excuse me ma'am?" the guard pushing JJ out said. "I invited him" she says, but her parents seem to not like it, but she ignores them. "I'm a member of this club" she says. I'm truly jealous of their little group, so loyal to each other, through thick and thin. JJ pushes the guard off him.  "sorry about that" he says. I'm moving closer to him, but I'm not sure what I'm going to say. "(y\n)! he smiles at me, “it's good you're here, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful" he says, and I don't know if it's the drink he stole or his genuine words. "hi, mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Kie. Pope, you as well, all right? Rixon's cove, let's roll!" as he talks, I'm still coming closer. "hey, Sarah's coming, you should join, I think you'll make Kie accept her presence" JJ whispers at me. "uh, okay" I say. "cool" he smiles at me, taking my hand. "all right Kie, come on!" JJ calls, "workers of the world unite! Throw off your chains!" and Kie seems confused. "won't you're friends have a problem with that?" I ask, but I get no answer. "woo-hoo!" calls John B. I have no idea when he arrived. "colonal!" JJ says, saluting to John. "captain!" John returns a salute. "mission accomplished, sir!" JJ says. "hey, I figured we should take (y\n), she's slightly more likable then your girlfriend and Kie would be more comfortable" He adds, and John approves. "uh, not at the Mandatory meeting" he says and smile at me, "but get Sarah and come with her". Well, here's my answer.

"come on Kie!" JJ calls at her. She and Pope finally arrive at us, and JJ spins Kie around and- is that jealousy I feel? JJ notices, I guess, because he says "no need to be jealous, Kookie" with his charming smile. How did I never notice before?

I go to get Sarah. "hey, Sarah, guess who's invited to your little meeting?" I whisper. "JJ wanted you there? So sweet of him, you two would make a great couple" she whispers back, and I hit her shoulder. "let's just go" I sigh. "wait, we need to get maps from my dad's office" she says, and I nod. We go inside. "you guard, I grab, got it?" she says. I nod and she enters the office. I lean at the door frame to look out. I see Ward coming.

"Ward!" I smile at him. "what are you doing here?" he asks. "oh, I was looking for-" he rushes by me, pushing me against the door frame. What the fuck? "-Sarah" I mumble. "yup, and she found me. I just wanted a copy of one of the old plat maps" I hear her makes up quickly, "(y\n), wait for me downstairs, okay?" she says, so I leave.

12:00 AM

Sarah and I arrive at the woods. "I'm supposed to meet John at the Hawk's nest, you go find JJ" she says, and so I go. On my way, I find John, and he point at the van. "JJ's waiting for you outside". I nod and follow the light that's coming from the van.

"hey" JJ smiles at me. He's leaning against the van, but he's leaving it and comes toward me. "listen, I wanted you to be here, cause we're onto something big, but the other guys aren't so sure. JB got to drag Sarah into this for intel, but other then being pretty you don't have anything to offer" he explains. "okay" I sigh, slightly blushing at the compliment, "whatever". "hey, I know that it's kind of weird, I just need to ask you something" he breaks the silence that almost started to get awkward. "sure, what is it?" I ask.

"when you tease me, and call me a stupid pogue, is it because you hate me?" he asks. "I don't know" I reply, "you started it, I just went along. Always figured you hate me. Why are you asking?". He takes my hand, and just when I think I can't be more surprised, he says, "I was trying to be flirty". I burst out laughing. "is this some kind of a prank, JJ? Did Sarah asked you to do this? Look, yeah, I told her this one that you're the hottest Pogue, but i-".

Now it's his turn to laugh and slightly blush. "I didn't know that, and no, not a prank, being genuine here. Booze makes me honest and brave for things that are a different kind of dangerous then my normal activities" he says, hand still holding mine. "look, I know we're not on the best terms, bot you can't deny the chemistry, right?" he says, coming closer and placing my hand around his neck. Without thinking I move my second hand and do the same. His hands move to my waist, and in one leap of faith, his lips crush on mine.

tag list: @mary-grace-milne​ @loveylangdon​

[kayleebreanne09]

I’m on a boat

Topper x Reader

Cutesy imagine about you being a pogue, in love with a kook. Scared of making the fued worse, your relationship is a secret. Until topper decides, he wants to go public with the kooks. I LOVED writing about this💜

Pogues vs kooks. Much like the montague’s & the capulets, it’s a battle that never ends. “It’ll be fine baby, they will end up loving you almost as much as I do” topper said, stopping to kiss me on the forehead as we walked hand in hand to ward Cameron’s big ass boat. Topper & I were the Romeo & Juliet of outer banks. We were crazily in love & almost no one knew about us. I was forced to admit the truth to Kie after a very embarrassing incident where she walked in on us trying to find a moment alone inside an unoccupied pantry at the wreck. “Not on the food!” She had cried while rolling her eyes. Aside from her, no one knew. Of course I didn’t enjoy being a secret, I’d love to be able to bring topper to the chateau & cuddle in the hammock with him while listening to John B tell us the newest insane adventure he’d been on. I wanted him there with me at the boneyard parties where JJ & I were constantly battling it out to see who could drink the most. I wanted Topper to pull me close, wrapping his arms around me while we danced at midsummers. But I was more terrified of losing him. I was afraid of my friends reacting badly & making me choose sides. I was afraid of his friends bailing on him, leaving him alone after all their years of friendship. I’d go to hell & back for Topper but could I give up my best friends? They were the closest thing to family that I had. Could I ask him to give up his? Toppers friends were terrifying, sure. My only run ins with Rafe had been when he was beating the hell out of one or more of my friends. Kelce was always on the side lines, encouraging Rafe or whoever else to start a fight with anyone resembling a pogue. But all that aside, they were still his friends. Because of that, they had to have some good inside them. Topper had his flaws too, everyone does. All I know is that Topper would fight to the death for me. He laid in the sand with me looking at the stars & telling me his dreams. When I was mad, he’d stroke my hair & ask me who’s ass he needed to beat. He’d lay in bed with me nose to nose cuddling & list every single thing he loved about me until I blushed tomato red & hid my face in his pillow which just made him burst out laughing. He had my heart. Which is why, against my better judgement, he was leading me right onto Ward Cameron’s boat. My nerves hit an all time high as we neared his group of friends. Everyone was drinking, dancing, smoking joints & some were scattered about partaking in some harder drugs. This was a full out kook party & one of the things was poorer than the other, ya know? Topper felt my hand clinch & slightly leaned down to where I could feel his breath on my ear. “It will be fine sweetheart. Breathe!” My body shivered, reacting to him even in a room full of people. I pushed away the unholy thoughts about what I wanted to do to him right then & took his advice, taking a deep breath. He kept our fingers intertwined as we walked up to his friends. “Whoa Top, I didn’t think you’d be into banging a lowlife pogue.” Before I even had a chance to shoot Rafe a go to hell look, Topper was face to face with the boy, only inches away. Anger was radiating off of him in waves. “Do. Not. Ever. I mean ever, talk about (Y/N) like that. If I see even a dirty look given her way, your ass is grass. Ya hear me? That goes for all of you. You’re supposed to be my friends. I love her! Can’t you be happy for me?” He asked his anger finally giving way to sadness. Kelce just stared. Rafe started to speak but I took a step forward. I stuck my hand out in his direction. “Hi Rafe, I’m (Y/N) it’s nice to meet you.” He looked at me & walked off. I turned to Topper to see him staring off into the water looking upset. “Babe, it’s okay. I’ll get them to warm up to me. I’m never going to let you lose your friends” I said standing on tip toes to kiss his cheek. “I love you so damn much. Drinks?” He questioned. I nodded my head vigorously.

About 4 shots of fireball, things were a lot less tense. I kept Topper laughing as we danced around & I did my best attempt at moonwalking & the sprinkler. I thought he might actually kill over once I started doing the stanky leg. Toppers loud laughter brought Kelce over. He joined us on our make shift dance floor & proceeded to do the YMCA. Topper busted out with the chicken dance. I smiled at him & Kelce, as we all looked like idiots pulling out our best dance moves. “Shots!” I said running & grabbing 3 shot glasses of tequila & bringing them back.

“Guys! I have the perfect song!” I shouted, maybe a little too loudly in my drunken state. I ran to the aux cord connecting to the boats huge sound system. Kelce followed & chuckled while watching me scroll through my music as I cussed my blurry vision. “Yes!” I cried in victory as I ran towards topper. He caught me, spinning us around as he pulled me too his chest. “Oooh very smooth Romeo” I giggled staring up into his beautiful eyes. He silenced me with a passionate kiss. His hand was on my cheek & his other on my lower back, pulling me as close as two people can be. Alcohol just tripled my love & attraction to my sexy ass kook boyfriend. “You keep that up, we are going to have to sneak out of here and-“ I was cut off by the first notes of my song starting so I shot to the front of the boat, spreading my arms out, & letting the wind blow through my hair, chilling my warm skin. “Oh shit, get your towels ready, it’s about to go down!” I yelled along with the song. “I got my swim trunks & my flippy floppy’s, I’m flippin burgers, you at kinko’s straight flippin copies!” I laughed as I sang along dancing wildly. I saw Rafe watching from the side of the boat. His mouth started to slightly turn up in the beginnings of a smile. I took that opening & danced up to him, taking his hands in mine dancing backwards, dragging him to the middle of the boat with me. “Believe me when I say...I fucked a mermai-ai-ai-aid!” My smile took up my whole face as he sang along with me during my favorite part. Topper ran up & put his arms around both of us, singing along. Then came Kelce. We were all in this makeshift circle huddle singing out hearts out. Some of the other random kooks even joined in on our little karaoke party.

Finally, once the sun had sank completely down & everyone had went their separate ways...Topper, Rafe, & I were laying on the highest part of the boat. We were laid on our backs, looking up at the stars. Rafe passed the blunt to me. I inhaled deeply, held it, then gently blew the smoke into the night sky. “Topper, I’m happy for you man” Rafe said resting his hand on toppers shoulder. “(Y/N) I apologize for being so rude earlier. It’s just, my whole life, I’ve been taught that the only way to be respected in life is through money & power. I was told that a mans worth is measured by his millions so I’ve resented the lower class. If the other pogues are anything like you...I mean, maybe I could rethink my stance.” He said quietly. “It’s all forgiven Rafe, I’m really glad we can be friends!” I said grinning over at him. Topper felt for my hand in the dark & gently squeezed it. “Thank you” he whispered in my ear. “Anything for you. Always.” I said bringing my lips to his then quickly laying back down, completely at ease under the light of the bright moon. Topper pulled my body closer to his as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way this pogues vs kooks war could be ended. If anyone could it, Topper & I could. Together, we’d take on the world.

[octothorpetopus]

Who Loves You? (Penelope Garcia x Derek Morgan)

Derek Morgan’s in love. That much is clear. But with who?

Penelope Garcia, in short, has no idea what to expect when Derek Morgan walks into her office at 7 o’clock sharp on a quiet Friday morning in late October. It’s not unusual for him to show up so early, he often stops in before hitting the gym before work. But he doesn’t have his gym bag with him this morning, that’s the first thing she notices when he walks in the door. The second thing she notices is that he looks tired, like he hasn’t slept in a week.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Penelope?” He asks, and her heart drops. It’s Penelope. Not babygirl. Penelope. Still, she smiles as wide as she can manage and leans back in her ergonomic swivel chair, steepling her fingers.

“Of course. What can I do for you today, mi amor?”

“I’ve been thinking about something, and I think I just need to-“ he gestures vaguely. “-talk it out with someone. With you.”

“Talk to me, Derek. What’s going on? Is it work? Your mom? A girl?” He flinches, as if surprised. Penelope gasps and claps her hands together. “Oh my god, it is a girl! Who is she?” Derek shakes his head.

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

“I didn’t sleep last night. At all.”

“Derek, I don’t need to hear about how you got laid last night.” As a matter of fact, Penelope Garcia wants nothing less than to hear about Derek’s new girlfriend. Still, she flips a pen between her fingers and steels herself.

“No, it’s not- this girl and I, we’re friends. Good friends. And I love that we’re friends. It’s a good friendship, you know?”

“Sure.”

“And I spent so long being friends with her that I never even considered... you know.”

“What, love? It’s not a dirty word, babe.”

“Anyway, after... everything that happened last week, I’ve given my life a lot of thought.” Last week, Derek had nearly died at the hands of Billy Flynn. Penelope can’t remember ever being so worried for him as she had been, or as angry as she was after he had yelled at her. But then he had bought her dinner and apologized approximately seven hundred thousand times, and she forgave him. “And I couldn’t sleep last night because I realized...” He swallows hard, like the words won’t come out of his mouth unless he forces them.

“Derek,” she says gently but firmly, and takes his hands in hers. “Tell me. Whatever it is you’re trying to say, tell me.”

“I realized I don’t want to be her friend. Well, I do, but I don’t just want to be her friend. You know?”

“Yeah.” Penelope chuckles breathlessly. “I do.”

“Well, I spent all of last night trying to figure out what to tell her. When to tell her. How to tell her.”

“And you want my advice? Aw.” Penelope batted her eyelashes.

“I can go talk to Hotch, babygirl-“

“No, no.” She thought for a moment, tapping her pen against her chin all the while. “Tell her... tell her that loving her and being her friend aren’t mutually exclusive. Tell her that being her friend makes your love go that much deeper and that much stronger. Tell her that being her friend wasn’t just a step to loving her but that it’s the simple basis of the reason you love her.” Penelope took a deep breath. “Tell her that, and if she still doesn’t fall in love with you, she never will.” He considers her momentarily, and Penelope shifts in her seat. Her confusion only deepens when he kneels in front of her. When he looks up at her, his eyes are earnest.

“Loving you as my friend and just plain loving you aren’t different things,” he says. What is he doing? Practicing? “I love you because you’re my friend, not in spite of it. I’m not your friend because I love you, I love you because you’re my friend. And I just... love you.” Penelope smiles and clears her throat.

“That was really good, Derek. She’s going to fall in love with you, I guarantee it.”

“No, Pen, I-“ He sighs, shaking his head, and rises to his feet. “That’s not-“ And that’s when he does something very odd. He spins Penelope around by her shoulders to face him, takes her face in his hands, and kisses her. He’s warm and smells like Old Spice and coffee and the geraniums he has planted on his fire escape. Penelope freezes, unable to think. So. He wasn’t practicing then. When he releases her, she blinks rapidly, her eyes wide. The office is silent except for Derek’s heavy breathing and the soft sound of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons over Penelope’s computer speakers. His hands are still radiating warmth into her cheeks, and with one hesitant, but not quite shaky, hand, Penelope reaches up and wipes a smear of dark pink lipstick off of Derek’s upper lip.

“So it was me.”

“Yeah, babygirl, it was you. It’s always been you.”

“You love me.”

“That’s about the size of it, yeah.” Penelope leans back in her chair and lets out a long, slow breath. “What? Should I not have- I shouldn’t have done that. Damn it.”

“No! No.” Penelope grabs Derek’s hand and squeezes it. “That- I- no. You definitely should have done it. But, um, I just don’t... get it.”

“What’s there to not get?”

“Nothing, exactly, but...” Penelope sighs and rubs her temples. “I love you, Derek, but in my brain, I thought when you were flirting with me- I thought that was just, you know, how you are.”

“I’m still confused, what’s the issue here?”

“The issue, Derek, is that in all the years I’ve known you, I never even considered that you were flirting with me because you liked me!”

“To be fair, Penelope, neither did I until a couple of weeks ago!”

“And that’s exactly the point.” Penelope smiles, but there’s something a little bitter there. “What if you don’t? What if it’s all in your head? What if you’ve just convinced yourself that you love me because I’m just, like, the only woman who’s close to you and knows all your secrets and knows that you like your coffee with more sugar than you say and knows that you play the cello and knows that you still have a stuffed panda bear your dad gave you in your closet?”

“Why are you so convinced about this, Pen? Didn’t you hear what I said?” That’s when Penelope snaps. She jumps to her feet and begins pacing the room, waving her hands as she speaks.

“Because in the movies, the girl like me doesn’t get the guy like you, Derek! And that’s not to say I don’t think I deserve a guy like you. I know my worth. But the guy like you ends up with a girl like Emily or JJ. Not me.”

“And what exactly do you mean, ‘a girl like you?’” Derek leans against her desk and folds his arms across his chest. “A smart, funny, beautiful, and overwhelmingly kind one?”

“Sure, but I’m also loud. And weird. And nerdy. And I dress like this.” Penelope gestures down at her dress, which is patterned with big yellow, green, and blue abstract shapes.

“So? Babygirl, have you learned nothing since you started working here? Real life isn’t like the movies. In real life, there are no guys like me and there are certainly no girls like you. There are just people. And even if there were, a guy like me would get to fall in love with whoever he wanted to. A guy like me could fall in love with an Emily or a JJ or, hell, even a Spencer, if he wants to. And I want to fall in love with you, Penelope Garcia.” Penelope stopped her pacing and sniffed.

“That was some speech.”

“Thank you. I try.” He stands and crosses the room until he’s facing her. With one hand, he tips her chin up until her eyes meet his.

“I just have to ask. Once. And I’ll never ask again.” She wrings her hands, but manages to calm her breathing. “Are you sure? About me? About us?” He smiles, the wide, brilliantly white, toothy grin that she fell head-over-heels for the first time she saw it.

“I’ve spent my whole life waiting for the day when a beautiful, kind, funny girl-“

“Don’t forget smart.”

“Right, and smart. Anyway, I’ve been waiting for the day a girl like that would love me just as much as I love her. Now, it’s been a lot of years that I’ve had that dream. Are you gonna ruin it for me, babygirl?” Penelope doesn’t answer, at least not verbally, she just throws her arms around Derek’s neck and kisses him. He doesn’t even pause, just wraps his arms around her waist. She’s just running out of breath when the door to her lair opens. They jump apart, panting, but it’s too late. Aaron Hotchner stands in the doorway, his hand still on the door handle, his eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open.

“We’ve got a case. JJ’s ready to brief us. I was just coming down to get- um, to get you, Garcia.” Hotch clears his throat. His eyes dart around the room, refusing to make eye contact. “But we need both of you in the briefing room.”

“Right. We’ll be right there.” Hotch opens his mouth as if to say something else, but he appears to think better of it and backs out, closing the door behind him.

“Well, that’s not ideal,” Penelope says, sitting back down in her chair.

“Crap. We’re in deep trouble.”

“Please. We’ll be fine. Hotch and Emily practically invented inter-office romance.” Derek’s head snaps up.

“What?”

“Never mind. Don’t worry about it. Point is, Hotch won’t get us in trouble.”

“Good.” Derek nods and shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Okay. Well. Um, bye.” He leans down to kiss the top of her head, a familiar and comfortable gesture, and after a moment of hesitation, presses a soft kiss to her lips. “Bye,” he says again.

“You know we’re going to the same place, right?” He stops halfway to the door.

“Yep. I knew that. I definitely knew that.”

“Walk me to the briefing room?” Penelope asks, sidling up to him.

“Always,” he replies, and holds out his arm, which she takes. This is not the first time she has taken his arm, and it is far from the last, but it is the first time that when she takes it, he kisses her cheek. It is the first time that she knows for certain that the butterflies in his stomach are going just as wild as the ones in hers. “Thank you,” he says, his eyes fixed on the hall in front of him.

“For what?”

“For letting me love you.” Penelope squeezes his arm.

“My pleasure, Mr. Morgan.”

“That’s Agent Morgan.”

“Whatever you say.”