#asexual communnity

[theacecouple]

A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism (ACAR) is proud to present a panel on disabled BIPOC aces for Ace Week & Disabled Ace Day! Panelists will discuss intersectional issues and speak to their own experiences within the asexual community.

RSVP Here -> https://www.eventbrite.com/e/disabled-bipoc-aces-a-virtual-panel-tickets-738978764377?aff=oddtdtcreator

[udunie]

I love how ya'll are like "To hell the people who built and make up the communnity! They don't get any say in who's a part of it. I'm just going to knock the door down and everyone already here can just get fucked if they don't like it. Gates are made to be tresspassed on, what is a safe space? They think they can just exclude me from something if they want? It's not like the entire point of LGBT/queer is to exclude cishet people, it's all-inclusive!"

1. This started with you coming here and telling me I’m not an asexual, just some... I don’t know, evil infiltrator. In that sense, yeah? You can’t tell me if I’m part of the community or not, because I’m asexual and not cishet. Asexuals are part of the LGBTQIA/queer community, I’m an asexual, therefore I’m a part of the community. 

Like, I understand my identity doesn’t line up with your exact expectations about how an asexual person should be, but thankfully - just like quantum mechanics - you don’t have to understand it for it to be true.

2. you keep claiming there are tons of people who are also evil infiltrators (excuse me if I don’t give that too much credit, considering you seem to think the same about me), and at the same time, you claim that these people are only doing this in their own online space and not act on it in real life??? Which is a weird tactic for evil infiltrators?? You also refuse to acknowledge that self-discovery is not always a straight line. There are stories of tons of people who for example drifted closer to the community as allies only to later realize that they weren’t straight at all.

Are cishet people part of the LGBTQIA/queer community? No. But who gets to be on the board of directors that decide if someone is queer enough? You? Me? Because I sure as fuck don’t want to be. That is not a power a person (or even a handful of people) should have. What will be the criteria? Will there be a dress code? Do you have to hand over your ledger of your previous partners so the board can interview them to see if you behaved as you are expected?

There’s a reason why you have to self-report your minority identity on surveys/census

Basically. I’m not saying that the door should be knocked down, I’m saying it should be unlocked. You are saying that there should be a wire fence, face recognition software and invasive body searches by the queer border patrol.

[poundfooolish]

rebelbaze

There is no safe alternative for kids to find when it comes to the ace community. Like? The entire ace communnity and I do mean entire (as in the entire system of it, not every individual) is dangerous for kids. That isn't the same fo rlGBT identities.

"Trustworthy adult" in the ace community is a fucking rarity.

And the REAL problem is, many aces are saying we should flat out explain what asexuality is by telling them hat being aroace is. And that's aphobic. And also fucking dangerous

And hten other people argue that aces should be able to tell kids what aseuxality ACTUALLY is which is fuckign inappropriate

and that kids should be able to identify as aro and ace

If evreyone were like you, that'd be one thing. But you are the .01%

and I'm saying this as someone who has been in and out of the ace community since 2009/10

Eh, I don’t think I’m so much a minority as people who usually talk the way I do on the subject tend to be quiet about it, or they get caught up in petty squabbles about non-issues that distract from the larger problems at hand. Things get polarized very quickly, and it’s frightening to speak out even a little, because you get dogpiled. I’ve seen most people who think my way just go silent about it, which also does the community absolutely no good. I admit I do the same thing here and there, I’m just cranky and opinionated so it doesn’t last.

Cause like, I do agree, telling kids about sexual desire and attraction is crossing what should be a very fundamental line, as is telling kids about masturbation and porn and all that jazz. The ace community has well overcomplicated the issue, and tends to grip so tightly to the mentality that “any disagreement with a minority is bigotry” that it doesn’t allow for real discussion, and that’s a huge chunk of the problem right there. It doesn’t help that the community is so small and public figures so few that it’s very easy for nasty folk to rise to prominence. 

But that’s also part of the reason why I think we do need to have these sorts of discussions, you know? Not just for kids, but adults too. Kids are going to enter the community whether or not we fix ourselves, and while it is Imperative and infinitely preferable that we fix ourselves, kids deserve to be at least a little prepared for what awaits them.