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cactuswaterscactusfields · 1 year

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Never About Us - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Offerings from a Beroya

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4.7k

For anyone who has trouble imagining a sith din, here’s a link to a Tumblr post with something I made on mandocreator.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, a hint of fluff for you goblins, violence, descriptions of injuries and blood. Arguing, Greef Karga (is he a trigger?), fluff, mando being an overprotective socially inept brick wall, I’m making things up about armor and metal. Should I tag this as slow burn? Idk anymore. Hinted at S/A (unsuccessful), fennec shand is cool. Forced drugging, more passing out. Please let me know if I missed any, I know this was a pretty heavy chapter. I love you all, and thank you for staying with me.

Translation guide: Beroya (mando’a): “Bounty Hunter”

I have no excuses for why this took so long. Love you all! Thank you to geo for betareading!

“I thought you said you knew how to fly this damn thing!” You scream out, as the ship around you rocks, screams, rumbles, and twists through the atmosphere as the flames lick at the plasteel viewing panel. Of course, he should have known how to fly, he’s Mandalorian.

“I…may be a little rusty.” He is clearly struggling, his teeth gritting as he fights to correct the ship’s course so that you two don’t end up as two little bug splatters on the blazing surface of Nevarro. You’re thrown into the ship's wall, as he yanks the controls, dodging around a mercantile ship as you arc through the clouds.

“Learn to drive, Mando!” You shriek, as he spirals down towards the landing docks. He yanks back on the controls, sending you into the back wall of the cockpit, and the ship gently slows to a stop with a thud as it lands on the ashy sand.

He turns back to look at you from his seat and tilts his head.

“Are we going?”

You glare up at him, before standing up and dusting yourself off.

“Once you learn not to kill me. One of us doesn’t exactly have a full suit of beskar.”

He watches you, and you can imagine under there he might be smiling if he even smiles. You’re still not even sure he’s human under there. Who knows? Is he just some really well-designed AI, some killer robot masquerading as a Mandalorian waiting until you have a weak moment and then leaping in for the kill? What if he–

“Keep moving.” He bumps into you as you’re caught in your thoughts, gently pushing your shoulder toward the exit of the Crest. You blush, and hurry toward the exit, not wanting to irritate him by getting in his way, lest he leave you there on Nevarro without a ship. You walk by his side, the painting of his armor as an inquisitor parting the crowd around you like the sea in some religious story you were told as a youngling. You smirk a little to yourself, feeling like he’s protecting you from the normally unsafe and crushing crowds of Nevarro’s city. In the distance, you can see the sun beginning to set, a dull blob of light against the ash of Nevarro’s atmosphere.

You finally arrive at the entrance to the guild, and you enter first, your Mandalorian bodyguard an ominous shadow behind you. You sit down in front of Karga, sliding him the completed puck of the bounty you took. He doesn’t need to know you completed it only with the help of a very dangerous inquisitor.

“Ah, my favorite little crash-lander. How are you?” He flashes his signature grin at you, his eyes flicking up to the beskar-clad warrior currently trying to squeeze into the booth next to you.

“I want to add him as a bounty hunter. We’re a pair now.” You cut to the chase, hoping he won’t make you drink more of his sand-flavored spotchka. Mando watches him, his fist resting on the table between you, and he nods slowly.

“You picked up…an inquisitor, and you want him to join you. Become part of your…little..team. I...I suppose that can be arranged, but I do need to know his name.” He begins to tap away on a holopad, and you look up at Mando, hoping he behaves himself and doesn’t kill the good guild leader for asking for his name. Mando’s shoulders tense, and he looks at Greef, his hand beginning to tighten.

“Can’t you just put it as Mando Lorian?” You cut in, hoping to prevent a murder.

“I can make that work.” He taps it into the pad and slides it over.

“Sign there. He’s your responsibility now. As for the bounties, here is the payment, and new pucks. I have one I think you’d like.” He chuckles nervously, and you quickly sign with your finger.

“Figured this one would be good to get you on the good side of the empire. It’s all under the table, not even an official bounty.” He slides over a puck and a tracker.

“The one on the left is a normal Tattoine bounty. You’re capturing an assassin named Fennec Shand, she’s evaded Republic capture for a long time. The one on the right will lead you to the offerer of the private bounty, who will provide you with the tracker to the bounty itself. And get this, paid in beskar.” He smiles at Mando, whose shoulders stiffen further when he hears that it’s being paid in beskar. Your eyes widen at the sound of your payment, fist clenching on the table. You’re being paid in stolen beskar that should have been yours.

“Hey, let’s not get too aggressive, now. Why don’t you two head to Tattooine and see if you can’t capture Ms. Shand? If you’re successful, I’ll give you the private bounty.”

You slowly reach your hand out to the puck, but Mando snatches it off the table and slips it into a pouch on his belt. He slides out of the booth, and you look at Karga again.

“Thank you for the puck–” Your arm is grabbed by a thick leather glove, and Mando drags you out of the bar without any more discussion.

“He’ll take advantage of you.” Mando releases your arm, and you have to jog to keep up with his strides.

“Advantage? I’m perfectly fine. I’ve survived this long, I’m not scared of some slightly–”

“You don’t understand.” He spits your name, quickly grasping your wrist again and dragging you into an alley. He crowds you against the sandy brick, and you have to crane your neck to look up at him. His arm presses at the brick next to your head, and he studies you through his visor. You can feel his eyes searching your face, and he tilts his head again.

“Oh? Is that so? What do I not understand, Mando? Don’t treat me like one of your stormtroopers. I’m not your servant.” You glare up at him, your snarky mouth running before you can stop it. Of course, you’ve been trained to stay independent, to push people away, it keeps you alive. Your secrecy is your survival, after all. With each word, you can see his hand clenching into a fist, and he takes an audible breath.

“He will hurt you. Badly. He will take and take until There. Is. Nothing. Left. It was never about us. It’s about keeping you safe.” His helmet glints in the last light of the sun, leaving you in almost total darkness, save the artificial lights of the night market.

“I don’t need your protection.” You slide out from under his arm, and begin to walk back toward the direction of, you hope, the ship. He follows you with his helmet, and you push into the crowd. You weave and bob through people, half-hoping that he stays following you and half-hoping to lose him.

Of course, he follows you. You keep bobbing and weaving, hoping and praying to the maker that you know where you are going, even as the sun sets and you’re cast into the artificial yellow and white of fluorescent night market string lights. And then you see it. Like a beacon from the darkness, your ship, glimmering with the barely-visible stars and the blinding lights of night, laying there in the docks. You speed up in your steps, almost running, and you finally clamber up the too-steep ramp and practically jump up the ladder into the cockpit.

You hear his heavy footsteps thud up the ramp, and you begin to press buttons almost haphazardly, trying to get off this makerforsaken planet, as if leaving Nevarro will leave Mando there. Who does he think he is, commanding you? You’ve survived your whole life alone, doing nothing but rejecting those around you so that you stay safe. After all, attachments could lead to your heart or bones being broken. But..why does a part of you feel raw for wanting to leave him? He saved your life, hunted you down and kept you alive from that awful Trandoshan, but..he wants to hold you like you’re some pristine artifact, any scratch capable of shattering and ruining you.

So why do you feel this way?

All too quickly, your thoughts are once again interrupted as his hand lands on your chair’s back. He looks down at you, tilting his helmet toward the copilot’s seat expectantly. Right. He likes to drive. You sigh, get up, and move back to the copilot’s seat, not without shoving past him.

He sits down as if your pass at him hadn’t felt like more than being brushed by a Kowakian monkey-lizard’s feather, and begins to plug in the coordinates for Tattooine, and you’re both pushed back by the jump from reality into hyperspace.

“Hey, mando.” You finally break the silence, and he turns to look at you.

“We should..probably repaint your armor. Inquisitors aren’t exactly popular, and that suit of armor puts a target on your back..”

He looks down at himself, as if having just realized the implications of walking around in a suit of metal propaganda, and he nods. He gets up, and looks at you, as if waiting for you to follow. You quickly get up, and follow him down the ladder, grabbing a box of basic ship repairing equipment as you move past the storage closet.

Mando sheds his armor quickly and without grace, revealing that..the armor wasn’t exactly lying about how muscular he is. His arms, covered by that sinfully tight flight suit, flex as he pulls his chestplate off, dropping it onto the floor with a thud that sends shockwaves through your system and right to your core.

He hands you one of his bracers, and a piece of sandpaper, before he plops down and begins to sand his chestplate. And you sand. And sand. And sand. And sand. And sand. How much sanding can one piece of beskar require? Your father wasn’t kidding when he said that beskar is some of the strongest material in the galaxy.

After what feels like millenia, you finally finish sanding, and you put the armor piece down, finally stripped of its paint. He looks at you, having finished about three in the time it took you to finish one bracer, and he gestures to the paints you pulled.

“How about just raw beskar? We can smooth the surface and coat it with a gloss..” Your mouth begins to run off mechanic terminology, and he nods slowly.

“Will you be sanding your helmet?” That touched a nerve. His hands tighten on the gloss tube, and it splurts some of the expensive, albeit shiny gel.

“I don’t take my helmet off.” He growls in your general direction, and you raise your hands defensively.

“Sorry. You’re…one of those mandalorians, huh.”

“One of those?” He squirts more of the gel onto the floor, and you glare at him.

“Could you put that down? That shit is practically worth more than bacta.”

He sets down the tube, and you scoop up the gel and begin to smear it onto a piece of equipment that he’s finished sanding and shining.

“Yes, one of those. There’s a cul–a group of people that have elected to never remove their helmets because that is how the ancient mandalorian culture used to be, and they’ve lived their lives entirely behind a mask. I’m assuming you were..brought up by them before the empire took you?”

He nods slowly, scooping up the rest of the floor gel, and spreading it onto his armor.

“Got it. So no helmet removing. Do you sleep with it on?” You try to lighten the mood, and he begins to wipe the excess gel away with a cloth.

“Yes.”

“Have you taken it off at all?”

“If you’re asking whether or not I shower with it, no. I don’t shower with it on.” He casts away the cloth, sending it into a box of other mechanical equipment, and he examines his now finished armor. He nods, and you smile softly.

“Does it come off in bed?” You wink at him, and he pauses for a moment. You can almost see his ears flushing red, his lip quivering as he tries to come up with what to respond to that. He clears his throat, before beginning to pull his armor back on.

“...Depends on what you mean.”

“During s–” You’re cut off by the ship beeping loudly, signaling its imminent departure from hyperspace, and you both quickly clean up before heading to the cockpit and getting strapped in.

You’re jolted as you’re pulled into interplanetary space, and the great yellow and dusty planet lies before you. Haven’t you had enough sand for one life?

As you enter the atmosphere, you’re strangely reminded of Geonosis, even though that had been sterilized artificially. Can people really live on this hellish planet? There’s no water, hardly any shade, and the stories you heard as a child of Krayt dragons terrified you to no end. Then again, they likely ask the same thing about Geonosis. Irradiated, hellish, with zombie parasites and abandoned pre-empire factories filled with the skeletons of droids that could have been, now condemned to live in perpetual imperfection, with cults and slavery and shadowy figures that could snatch a small child from their mother’s arms and burn them into a worshiper of death and darkness.

“You have that look again.” You’re jolted out of your fears by his voice, baritone and honey, and you sigh.

“Sorry. Was thinking about Geonosis and Tattooine. I just don’t understand how people have grown to live and settle on these apocalyptic planets..” You trail off, embarrassed to bother him.

“They make do. We live and we learn.” His words are jarringly wise, almost strangely so. For a moment, his somber tone makes you wonder what hell he has been through. Has he seen the burning flames as you have? Did he see death like you had? What has the emperor put him through, to become a mandalorian inquisitor, hunter of jedi and now hunter of bounties?

“I do not think you want the answer to that question, little mandalorian. And you’re not bothering me.” He places his hand on your shoulder.

“You carry the galaxy on your shoulders. I am here to help you carry that burden.”

He tightens his grip, and it’s..strangely comforting, like you’re two beings against a galaxy of hate. Perhaps this isn’t so bad after all, you have to learn what makes the other tick, but at the end of the world, it’s you two, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world. As if he can smell it on you, he pulls his hand away, and the comfort is gone.

At least you have the memory of his warmth.

Blood. So much blood. Charred flesh, hatred, glowing red blade strikes and bruised throats are all you can see before everything goes dark. The crunch of a shattering femur focuses your senses, and you’re brought out of shock. Hot. Arid. Burning sand sprays across your face, and are you..are you on Geonosis? You blink quickly, trying to clear the sand from your eyes, and you narrowly avoid a flying limb, which, upon further inspection, appears to be inhuman in form. You look toward the loud sounds of blade cutting through flesh and bone, and you see him, like a silver wraith in the shadows.

He’s standing over a crying man, hunched over and spitting green blood. He raises his hand toward Mando, who tilts his head silently as he clenches his fist, crushing the man’s windpipe into oblivion. You quickly stand up, unsure of how long you had been unconscious, and begin to survey the scene around you.

Lots of blood spattered across sandstone alley walls, three or four mangled bodies, some missing a limb or two, glowing with molten cuts, and so, so, so much sand. Mando turns toward you, stepping over body and limb alike, and he reaches out to touch your face. He gently reaches down, lifting you to your unsure feet.

You remember now.

“Hey, sweet thing, why don’t you leave droid boy there and come have a good time?” One of them had slurred at you, clearly drunk out of his mind. You’ve been catcalled before, it’s nothing you’re not used to, and you let the insult slide off your shoulders as you attempt to continue your journey across Mos Espa, but that hadn’t been enough for them.

You can sense them beginning to surround you, wall you in, and you begin to calculate escape routes as they slowly corner you and Mando into an alley.

“Surely you mustn’t have heard my friend here. Leave droid boy and come with us, it’s been so long since–”

There is a glowing red blade right through his throat, and as he reaches up, eyes widening to feel the new..air hole in his trachea, Mando slices to the left, cutting the man’s head off. He then twists, and as he twists, you feel a small prick in your neck, a disgusting arm wrapping around your torso as it presses the plunger of the small syringe in your neck. You’ve heard of drugs like these before, used on drunk or unsuspecting patrons at bars and clubs, used to take them home for…for…

You can’t remember. Your train of thought begins to fade, as the world around you feels silent, gray…it’d be so easy to sleep right now, so easy to just…

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He gently touches your face with one hand, keeping your dizzy eyes focused on his hand, and you pause for a moment to clear your head.

“F-four. Four fingers.” You shake your head.

“Why did you do that? You have a target on your back, Mando..” You look around worriedly, concerned of the implications of him revealing himself.

He just tilts his head at you, as if he’s confused.

“We need to leave, surely word has spread by now..” You grab his hand, and pull at it, stumbling as your legs relearn how to take your weight.

“Why are you worried? This is Tattooine, little mandalorian.” He follows you, holding onto you to make sure you don’t collapse again.

“Couldn’t you have just knocked them out?” You hiss, and he pauses mid step.

“And let them walk the earth unpunished for what they did to you?”

“They didn’t do anything until you got involved. They wouldn’t have drugged me, I could have just…jedi mind tricked them..I could have figured it out…that was completely unnecessary, Mando!” You finally regain your confidence, and he pulls you into another alley.

“I was doing it to protect you.”

“I don’t kriffing need your protection, Mando! I’ve been surviving on my own this long, I do not need some overgrown sith warrior in indestructible armor following me like a lost puppy, and I especially do not need one to protect me! First, Nevarro, now here! When will you learn? I escaped from you, I can escape from the empire. I do not need you painting an even larger target on my back than the one that is already there because you cannot control your temper!” Your voice is shaking as it increases in volume, and you feel saltwater tears streak down your dirty face, dripping onto the parched sand below. You step back, and glare at him, wiping your tears furiously. You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your heart rate, trying to lower your blood pressure, and look back up at where you hope his eyes are.

“I don’t need your protection.” You finally reiterate, before turning and leaving the alley. His visor never leaves your back.

“Fennec Shand. Assassin and sniper.” You quietly murmur to no one in particular, not that the man in metal next to you is even listening. Since you finally broke and screamed at him in that alley, he’s been silent, even more so than usual, not even responding when you try to communicate with him or get his attention, not even when you try to make the jokes that always would have gotten at least a quiet chuckle from him.

You peer back into the binoculars pressed against your face, scanning the horizon in the distance for any sign of life, any sign of the legendary ranger that is worth so much she could pay your fuel costs for three months, not that you’re even being paid in credits.

“There. Next to that outcropping!” You notice the bright red glint of a sniper’s red laser, and you quickly duck your head down as a red blaster bolt flies through where your forehead just was. His head jerks toward you, before he starts to stand, and you grab his arm and yank as hard as you can.

“She’s using heat tracing. We have to wait either till morning when the sun blinds her or until we can come up with a new idea to stop her. We’re sitting ducks anywhere but here.”

He nods slowly, before he turns to look down at his toolbelt, and you can almost see the idea lightbulb above his head blink on.

“Grenades.”

“What?”

“She’s using heat tracing. Flash bangs will blind and defean her temporarily, which lets us get close enough that I can freeze her.” He finally speaks after a moment, having figured out how to explain his absolutely batshit idea to you.

Except..it’s not batshit, It’s genius. He does think like a mandalorian, like a bounty hunter, coming up with ways to weaken his opponent until he can immobilize or kill them. He hands you three of the little handheld suns, and looks toward the speeders that brought you all the way out here into the Dune Sea.

“On three, I’m going to throw the first one. Get on your speeder, and wait for my signal. We will alternate, until we’re close enough to get cover at the base of her cliff.” He commands you, and it reminds you strangely of times that have never happened, of lives long past. What if you had been a soldier, or captured and became an inquisitor? Would you and he be close? Would you–

“Three!” He throws the grenade, and it explodes, a red blaster bolt shooting off a ways away, Fennec’s shot having been thrown off its course. You jolt up, your feet propelling you to your speeder, and you leap onto it, revving it and speeding off into the dune stretch between you and your target.

“GO!” He shouts, his voice straining to be heard over the wind rushing past your ears, and you press the button on top of the grenade before tossing it, and it explodes, sending another shot careening into the sky.

He tosses his, and your speeders weave back and forth on the dunes like dna, intersecting and then arcing away from eachother. You continue this deadly dance, this dance of evasion and light and blaster shots, until the once tiny cliff on the horizon becomes a monolith in front of you, all you can see, and you slow to a stop at its base.

“How do you plan to get up?” You pin your back against the rock, in case there is any way Shand could shoot you if you’re too far out.

He tilts his head, before he crouches and flies up into the air like a rocket. That’s right. You could just force jump.

You crouch as he did, hoping to replicate your success on Geonosis, but all you do is a nice little hop. In the distance, though, you see a ramp, and you sigh before climbing aboard your speeder and taking the naturally formed ramp up the side of the cliff. What feels like hours later, you ride up expecting to see his blade out or a dead body, but instead you see a bound Shand and a mandalorian inquisitor shining his bracer.

“I was wondering where you were.” He looks up at you, and you blush before slowing to a stop and climbing off the speeder.

“Not all of us were trained in the force from birth, Mando.” You pick Shand up by her wrists, gently laying her onto the back of your speeder.

“I suppose I’ll meet you at the bottom–?” You look up, and he’s already falling toward the sand below.

Of course he is.

“So now that she’s in carbonite, what’s our next bounty, oh keeper of the pucks?” You twist the towel around your sopping wet hair, patting it dry and casting the damp towel into a hamper. You stretch, feet padding against the metal floor of the ship, and you look at the interior of your ship. The bruise on your neck from the injection site still aches, but the pills Mando made you take before you showered must have been some kind of reversal agent, since you feel almost back to 100% much quicker than you should have been in any other situation involving those drugs.

After you retrieved Fennec, it was a fairly simple matter getting through the streets of Mos Espa and getting her frozen in the on-board carbonite freezer. You’ve never seen one work up close, and it took you at least twenty minutes to stop shivering from the gas. You finally decided to take a shower, cleaning yourself of the dust and sand, and the warmth helped your still slightly frazzled mind clear. You’re glad for midichlorians and the force, for it allowing you to heal quicker than the average person, the dull ache in your ankle from what feels like years ago nothing but that–a dull ache. He looks up toward you, his visor tilting up and down, and he leans back against a wall. His visor locks onto the small bruise on your neck for a moment, before he looks back down at the tablet he was swiping through.

“You look comfortable.”

“Been a while since I’ve had clean clothes, Mando. Thank you for washing them for me. While I was unconscious.”

He looks away, and you blush at the memory, not having meant to be so passive-aggressive to him. After all, he didn’t exactly knock you out, but he didn’t keep you awake on Hoth. It was probably for the best, you would have screamed and bit the whole way back if you had been awake.

“Our next bounty is a long jump away, and it’s another desert planet.” Was that..humor? From mando? You let out a small giggle, never having thought you’d see the day where a mandalorian inquisitor cracks even the worst of a joke.

“What is it? Tell me it’s not Geonosis.” You shiver, the radiation coming back to you like burning flames and licking hell against your skin, ripping apart your machinations like nothing but wet paper. You don’t ever want to have to venture out into the irradiated deserts again, the one time Gakrux made you having left you crying and screaming as you could imagine your flesh melting and burning away. You were just a teenager then, your life barely having started, and already you had been scared of it ending. The radiation isn’t too terrible now, nor was it when you ventured, but the trauma and idea was enough to tell you the most radiation you ever want to experience again is a star’s light from the comfort of a spaceship.

“No. It’s called..Arvala-5.”

I am so sorry this took so long. My life kind of got kicked in the shins and I had a massive burst of writer's block, rewrote the chapter, and today I had the biggest burst of inspo while listening to music. I'm so sorry this took so long, again, but thank you so much for writing. I'll try to have the next one out in a timely manner :)

Cactus

#mando x f!reader #mandalorian x you #mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian #mando x you #mando x reader #mando and reader #fanfiction #fanfic #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin #star wars

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blackbutler657 · 2 years

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Imagine if ash landers was purifying the world in 2020-2022

-ash and sebastian fighting-

Sebastian: did you just throw hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes at me?

Ash: you are now cleansed from covid :)

#Ash landers #Sebastian michaelis #black butler

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theveteranside · 8 months

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Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em

One thing you will notice is that we smoke like chimneys. We smoke so gawd damned much because it's about the only thing that calms our nerves. We live with adrenaline in our veins for roughly a year straight (common theme here!) and weren't given the tools to cope. So, this is just what we do. We fidget, we curse, we at times get rowdy, we drink, we smoke. Ain't no two ways about it.

But in the middle of nothing and the desert, we need our ciggs. Once a month a Conex shipment comes into Tikrit's PX. I really don't know what comes in those shipments. Except cigarettes. Cigarettes are in that Conex. Gawd forbid you oversleep or take too long of a shit and miss out on your smokes. See, we all had figured out the timing of this here shipment. Every first of the month, give or take a couple days. Every soldier knew that schedule, especially the smokers. We had learned this schedule after one too many times ending up with cartons of USA Golds. This particular brand of cigarettes was the very bottom of the barrel. The only thing lower than this was the cigarettes from the Iraqi economy, most likely the Miami's.

These, damn things were the most stale things that have ever existed on the planet. After smoking a Miami, it made your throat so hoarse you lost your voice by doing nothing other than inhaling. Swear. Smoke one of these bad boys and you'd be coughing up phlegm for a week. Sure, we could have just avoided it all together by NOT smoking at all, but where's the fun in that?

We smoked to pass the time. We smoked when we were "happy." We smoked when we were sad, mad, whatever you can think of. When we had to "hurry up and wait," we smoked. After formation, before and after convoys. When we woke up, when we finally got the time to sleep. We pulled gate guard holding our weapons with a smoke hanging out the side of our pie holes, never once removing it to ash. If we needed to communicate to our battle buddy something important, we did it with a lit cigarette wagging off to the side of our cursing mouths. If there was a briefing we needed to be at, we'd go, and then when we needed to ten minute break our Platoon Sergeants announced, "Alright, smoke 'em if you got 'em!" That was our cue.

I remember when my unit's time was finally up in Iraq and we were heading back to Germany, we had to endure a ten hour flight back from Kuwait to Frankfurt....with one stop along the way. That's all we were really factoring in, our next chance to smoke. Our layover was to be in Istanbul. Weeeheeeheeel, guess what? Nobody was allowed to step foot off of the airplane. Say what???

Now, imagine this if you will...At least a hundred or so soldiers, on one plane, stopped for two hours solid, not able to get off the damn thing to go enjoy a damn cigarette. What. In. The. Fuck. We got antsy. We became irritable. We became shitty. We may have been close to becoming hostile. So what did we get? NCO's managed to get the crew to pop open the doors. And there we were, going to by two, forming a line, just to be able to hang halfway out the airplane doors to be able to enjoy three quarters of a cigarette. But it shut us the fuck up. I imagine we were like a bunch of screaming toddlers....with M16A2s.

Humph, craving a cigarette. Good thing I don't smoke anymore....

#iraq #shit veterans go through #experience #operation iraqi freedom #soldier #veterans #cigarettes #SoundCloud

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married-to-google-translater · 2 years

Note

Ash taking care of a reader who suffers from anxiety/panic attacks

Ash Landers

Ash really wants to know who did this to you.

He wants to know who a dirty person has hurt his beloved so badly.

And Ash really isn’t going to forgive them for that.

He wants to cleanse the world and this is a good place to start.

( And this is normal Ash. You really don't want to know what yandere ash would do)

When you get a panic attack Ash would try to calm you down.

If you are in a public space he would direct you to the side and try to calm you down.

If you need space he will give it to you and if you need support he will be there too.

Ash tries to remember all the factors that trigger a panic attack.

And you can be sure that he will do his best to help you avoid them.

After all, he knows how to manage the situation well.

Even if at first Ash was really worried about you.

Panic attacks weren’t normal at the time and he would be a lot scared when you got one.

But he has now managed to get used to it.

#black butler #black butler x reader #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji x reader #kuroshitsuji imagine #kuroshitsuji imagines #black butler imagine #black butler imagines #black butler headcanon #black butler headcanons #kuroshitsuji headcanon #kuroshitsuji headcanons #ash landers x reader #ash landers #ash landers imagines #ash landers imagine

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endeenderman · 4 years

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"Black Butler" Ash Landers x (Demon, Suicidal, Female) Reader.

Prologue:

Your name was (y/n) (l/n), you were a demon/human hybrid, you were found on the as of (five years ago from your actual age) by the queen herself, she gave you a home at the palace, and a work as the queens personal painter, and other art themed stuff, you were very pleased with your work and so did the queen but someone didn't, the one and only Ash Landers, Her Majesty's loyal butler, what a shame, he was so lovely looking and you were sure he was kind hearted as he was an angel, but not towards demons like you, even if you weren't a full one. You will wake up everyday with a smile on your face, hoping that Ash will see you as a friend, but what was the chance of that?. He will give you a cold stare and a small 'hello' before leaving, you were heartbroken every time, but you couldn't any more, this time will be the last time, and you hopped, what he will accept your feelings....

Your P.O.V.

You woke up earlier than every other day, you got dressed and started walking down the corridor that led to the dinning area, you were confident and wanted to tell Ash your feelings, that you...loved..him, but were afraid to tell him because of what you were, a bemon, he wouldn't believe you, never, but you had to try, you couldn't live with the thought that the man you loved hated you, you couldn't. As you finally made it to the dinning area there was no one there, everyone was still asleep or probably getting ready, everyone....except for your dear Ash Landers, he was looking out the window watching the sun rise, you walked towards him but stopped when you realized that he noticed you, you took a few steps back.

"Can...can..I.." you started pointing to the window.

"You know that the window is not my property, you can use it whenever you like" Ash said with his calm and almost emotionless voice. You knobbed and walked towards the window, you could see with the corner of you eye his violent eyes shinning as the sun reflected itself into his purple abyss, his silver white hair also shined, you were amassed, almost hypnotized from his features that you didn't notice yourself reaching a hand to touch his hair, he turned his eyes on you and stared at you, it took you long enough to realize what was happening that you gasped, you stayed silent and you stared back into his purple gaze.

"You can take your hand of me now" Ash said with the same tone in his voice, you quickly pulled back your hand.

"Sorry" you mumbled loud enough for him to hear, you heard him say something under his breath, something like 'filthy' or something, you turned to him, he was staring out the window once again.

"You know if you have a problem with me you can just say it for once" you said, he turned to you and smirked (I don't know if this even is possible but whatever...).

"A problem you say?, ohh (y/n), if my problem was just one I would have been so lucky" he said with a slight smile.

"And why will you say that?, you always have he on edge and ignoring me for 5 years, will you tell me what wrong?" You asked, tears starting to appear in the corners of your eyes.

"My problem?, you are my problem, ever since the queen let you in side this place, a person like you, from your kind, everything it wrong" he yelled at you, he turned to walk away but you grabbed him by his sleeve.

"Let go of me NOW" he ordered, you shook your head.

"No, I will not, I have to tell you something, I...I...I am in love with you, from the first time I saw you, and it hearts to see you ignoring me" you started, he pulled his sleeve out of your grasp, and fixed it.

"Hurts you say?, you can't feel anything, no emotions at all, this is all lies you want to fool me with, I will not stand here and listen to your nonsense" he said as he started walking away.

"NO" you cried, tears now falling down your face, "please, I..I can't live without you, my live doesn't have a purpose" you said trying to pull him back to stop walking, he soon stopped and turned around towards you, he lifted his hand and smacked your cheek, the hit was heard that you fell on the ground, you looked up at him with teary eyes, you could see anger in his eyes.

"Then die" he said and left without a word, so was this his final words?, maybe yes, maybe not, but you can take it any more, you got up from the floor and walked towards the kitchen, you opened a cabinet and took a kitchen knife, you hid it underneath your maid dress, and walked back towards your room, you had a small bag of salt in your pocket as well. As you got to your room, you locked your door, you sat on your bed and took out your knife and salt, you placed the knife inside the salt and moved it around, when you took it back out the knife was covered in salt, as you were only one part demon, it was easier to kill yourself, you grabbed the handle of the knife and turned it, making the blade face your chest, with one quick move, the knife was stabbed inside your chest, you cried, the salt burned and the cut made it worse, you slowly laid on your bed waiting for your life...to end.

Ash's P.O.V.

I was preparing Her Majesty's mail when I saw something red burst through the window, I quickly rad towards it and saw a man dressed like a woman with a chainsaw, it was a grim reaper.

"Who are you and what you want, please leave at once" I ordered, he smiled at me.

"Oh I am the one and only Grell Sutcliff, I am here to collect a soul that says will be dying in nust a few minutes." He said cheerfully, a soul?, here?.

"Whos soul are you here to collect?" I asked, he took out his 'to die list' and checked.

"Oh, its a girl round (your age) years old, and her name is (y/n) (l/n)" the reaper said, wait (y/n)?.

"Who will she die?" I asked, he smiled wider.

"Ohhhh, she died with by stabbing herself or else committing suicide." He added, so she actually did it huh?, she was only half demon witch ment faster to kill, she wasn't lying, she did..have feelings for me. I rushed towards her room only to find that her room door was locked from the inside, I knocked on the door but no response, I used all my strength to break the door so I could get to her, this was my fault, no one elses. I finally managed to break through the door, I examined the room only to find her laying on her bed, I got close to her, she was sleeping, like that night that me and the queen found her, I was such an idiot, I shook her to see if she wakes up, but unfortunately she didn't, I knew what I had to do, I opened one of my tuxedos pockets and took out a small glass bottle, they were angel tears, I have heard that these tears can heal the broken hearts and the pain, I opened it and placed it on her lips, slowly lifting up the bottle so she could drink the liquid, once the liquid was gone I placed it back in my pocket, I waited for her to wake up.

"(Y/n)....if you can listen to me.....I am sorry.....sorry this happened to you...I...I..do have feelings for you...its just that...I hated myself for that, and I got all this hatred on you...I am really sorry...I love you...(y/n)" I said, a tear started appearing in the corners of my eyes, I haven't cried for a long time, as I wiped the few tears that started making there way down my face, I felt something, a movement, I looked at (y/n), she was holding my hand.

"I...love...you..to....Ash" (y/n) said, I smile appearing on her face, I smiled as well, she was ok, and that was all I cared about, not that she was a demon, not nothing, except keeping an eye on her, just in case she goes dramatic again, as for the reaper?, he isn't claiming her soul not today, not never.

THE END.

#black butler #black butler x reader #black butler x y/n #black butler imagines #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji x reader #ash landers #ash landers x reader #ash landers imagines #anime imagines #anime #blackbutler #demon x angel #angel x reader #angel x demon #male x female #male x reader

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bapydemonprincess · 1 year

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Imagine in this fanon redemption style thing, Ash starts growing his hair out a bit.. 🤔😳 ....(sebastian is so mad at how pretty he is and how much he wants to pet and run his fingers through his hair and grab it and pull it while he's-)

#kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #ash landers #sebash #these types of things are the ONLY TIMES it's acceptable to think of seb topping #Cause it makes sense JUST LOOK AT ASH #AND WITH LONGER HAIR????#fuck man #okay someone dunk me in ice water I need help #(though imagine the times Ash feels confident and and comes at Sebastian and pins HIM AND-)#GRESHDYTKUIHJ #BYE

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kuroshitsujixreader · 4 years

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Introduction

Im Mod Hannah and i write for almost all the character’s (with a couple exceptions) English is my second language my first is German. (i was born in the us but my family mostly speak in German) so apologies for any incorrect spelling

i have watched up to the book of circus and watched all of the original anime

i write matchups headcannons oneshots and imagine’s im fine with girl x girl boy x boy ect ect. i am also totally up for writing poly relationships. im fine with things like the reader being mute and stuff but it wont be the best because i have very little knowledge of the struggles(my older sister is mute and thats the only general thing i know ). im also fine with writing nsfw but i probably wont write it much

i wont write character x character(unless its platonic this may change) underage ships (ex ciel x adult!reader.) and by extention i wont write nsfw stuff with underage characters. im willing to hint at stuff like sexual assault. rape ect (at any age) BUT only for the sake of Y/n’s backstory and it will only be hinted or said but i wont write it happening because. No.

I refer to grell/grelle as a female. but sometimes i acidentally call her a male because up in till recently i thought she was just a flamboyant male. even now im still not 100% sure about her gender but i will refer to her as she/her. i know people might get mad if i dont clear it up

thats all i will add more rules as i go along

My favourite character’s are the following

i love most of them but these are my personnel favourites at the moment

oh one more thing

Schönen Tag!

#Mod hannah #kuroshitsuji x reader #kuroshitsuji imagine #kuroshitsuji #Edward Midford #joker x reader #black butler #black butler x reader #black butler imagine #ciel phantomhive #elizabeth midford #elizabeth #ciel #undertaker #sebastian michaelis #ash landers

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badboysdoitbetter · 4 years

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Could I have a physical matchup for black butler, haikyuu and Ohshc please! (Males please!) I’m a straight female. I’m 5’1 (yes I get teased a lot) with long dark brown hair and warm brown eyes (I’m viet). I wear glasses, but I’m super tomboyish so I don’t really get called nerdy. Im a bit of a tsun. Round face and the bare minimum of an hourglass figure, I’m lazy but athletic, so there’s a bit of an athletes body there. I have round cheeks but there’s a soft jawline somewhere. Thank you! 💙💙

Black Butler : I think you would look good with Ash Landers!*

Haikyuu : I think you would look good with Iwaizumi Hajime!

OHSHC : I think you would look good with Mitsukuni Haninozuka!

* signifies the character i think would look the best with you.

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metis12375 · 6 years

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for some reason the concept of genesis but with sebastian michaelis’ voice just came into my head and snakes physically manifested in my house

#cursed #like i can imagine him having ash lander's voice or something bc they're both angels right #and they already sound kinda similar #but sebastian? nah #no thanks #i don't know why that was my random thought of the night

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Whoo, requests are open! Can I get Azusa Mukami, Ash Launders, Lau, and Grell Sutcliff with a darling who's a ghost, or something akin to one? Thank you, please take your time with this and remember to take breaks when you need to!

I recently talked about this with my friend, but both of us are amazed with how popular Ash actually is. He suddenly became so beloved in here. Not that I complain😏.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, self-harming behavior, kidnapping, killing

Ghost s/o

Grell Sutcliff

🟥Grell is a grim reaper and for that probably met ghosts quite a few times ago. Ghosts are souls from people who didn’t find peace yet and whilst humans can’t see ghosts most of the time, other supernatural creatures can. Grell feels sometimes a bit sorry for ghosts whose souls are tight to this world until whatever doesn’t allow them to Rest In Peace is solved. There are exceptions though, it isn’t unheard that even after the issue was solved, ghosts decided to stay, mainly because they started enjoying life as an undead once again. So at one point such examples were counted in the supernatural community as well.

🟥If her darling should be a pure ghost, it depends on whether they still try to find a way out of this world or are one of those who decided to live forever as a ghost. If it’s the first one, she would definitely try to make her darling enjoy life once again since she doesn’t want them to leave. She wants to give them happiness once again and would try about everything to make them feel joy again. If it’s the latter case, she would switch from a worried mother mode in a totally fascinated one. She did meet ghosts before, but normally they are more of loners since they grief over whatever they couldn’t finish during life. So having a darling as ghost makes her more interested since ghosts aren’t that known to other magical beings.

🟥Hopefully you know how to manifest yourself or else Grell will get really pouty since she’s clingy. A ghost can learn to materialize their body so others can touch them even though that takes practice. Girl loves you just very much to the extent where she often wants to jump on you and tackle you in a hug after a boring day of work...which ends with her being met with the ground of you don’t know how to control it or did it on purpose. It also tends to scare her a bit if you suddenly pop somewhere up without her knowing since you can just walk through objects. There was this one time where you were looking for her, ending with your head popping up through the ground right in front of her. And Grell might be able to handle, blood, zombies and other gore stuff, but not this. It ended with her screaming startled.

🟥If you’re not dead, but just possess the possibilities of a ghost, the whole walking through walls and turning invisible stuff, you’re most likely a hybrid because believe it or not, in materialized form ghosts can create or bear children too. And half breeds have been since the earliest days always been a more risky topic. Many creatures are still lacking the openness to accept persons from two different kinds since many are still in the classic belief that only the same species should have children together. It leads her to being more overprotective over you since she doesn’t want you to endure hatred and racism from others. She’s fiercely overprotective in that regard.

Lau

🚢He has a weird fascination with such things, at least in my opinion. He might only be human, but he has awareness of the more otherworldly creatures on this planet and his assistant, Ran Mao, herself appears to be some sort of superhuman as well. He has probably heard a lot of ghost stories before, either from his own country or here, in England. And he is somewhat good in telling when a story was just made up so the person could suddenly gain attention or if there is a spark of truth in it. He has a nose for stuff like this and actually likes listening to such stories.

🚢So expect his obsession to very quickly grow if his darling should be a ghost even though he would hold himself back if they are unhappy due to their unfinished business. He is manipulative and is also, despite being good in hiding it from his darling, very greedy and mercenary. He might not show it, but he has every intention to make his darling stay with him, even if that means ensuring that whatever they need to do in this world will never be finished. If you are that kind of ghost who’s happy with their new life, he would be much more open with his curiosity, expressing his interest in your abilities and also backstory. Especially if you should be a lot more older than your appearance gives away, he would be keen on your story. If it should happen that you were murdered and the killer is still alive, that guy will join your kind maybe very soon if they have regrets in their life.

🚢He’s also interested in how your anatomy works since he’s an expert in it. He of course wouldn’t use you like some test subject, but he is just kind of interested how you are able to turn your whole body in one moment in something thinner than air and in the next moment into something that appears to be flesh and blood again. He also kind of likes it to touch through you since your transparent body has a certain coldness around it which gives him goosebumps. It’s a great contrast to when you have materialized and are in possession of a warm body which leads him to being even more touchy than usual. Lau finds it also always very amusing whenever you suddenly appear out of thin air, your abilities are such a breath of fresh air for him. He tends to be a bit surprised, but is good in hiding it with his usual mysterious smile.

🚢He can only guess that a half-ghost like you are one isn’t very beloved in this world. Lau of course doesn’t think you, he finds it highly interesting that you are a mix from two different species, he never thought ghosts could actually create babies. If there’s the possibility, he would like to meet your parents and talk with them, especially the parent who’s the ghost. It kind of leads him to wanting to isolate you a bit since he doesn’t want some other creature trying to kill you since different from a normal ghost you can get hurt by weapons and die like a normal human even though it’s harder to do.

Ash Landers

▫️Whilst he definitely is informed about all the other magical beings existing in this world, he stays away from pretty much everyone, even his own kind. Ash is just embossed from his obsession with purity and doesn’t think of anyone as really worth living since everyone is tainted by greed, lust, sloth and other unspeakable sins. He even hates his own kind since many angels protect the exact lowlife he wants to get rid off, believing that every life deserves living and given a chance. He is somewhat alone with his crazy goals, but he doesn’t mind.

▫️I think Ash with a ghost darling isn’t a very good mix, a horrible if I’m being honest. For the simple reason that you already died and merely your soul remains on this planet, either because of your own free will or because you carry a burden with you. You’re dead. That should say everything to why Ash is experiencing the true deepness of madness and terror someone could never possibly begin to imagine. He failed, he pathetically and utterly failed to protect the only person who actually deserved a happy and good life. It makes his whole life shatter, next to his already screwed up sanity. It does not matter if you were killed, died in an accident or because of a deadly sickness. The village you lived in will be blamed and slaughtered by him.

▫️He’s horrible to act with this because I have this terrible thought that he will not only not allow you to leave, but also desperately try to search for ways to somehow get your soul back into your body or will find a vessel in which you can live. He does not care if you want it or not, he doesn’t even really care if you’re happy or not. Dead is dead and he wants you alive. He would get incredibly prone and torn apart if you yell and cry at him that you don’t want it, that you want to die finally in peace or like being a ghost. You just don’t understand!! HE HAS TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE AGAIN!!!

▫️With you being only something akin to a ghost, a hybrid in here, the situation would still be very tangled, but a bit less than with you being an actual ghost. I see Ash as someone who usually despises hybrids, but you are made the only exception from this. It isn’t worth saying that he isolates you since he would do this in all scenarios, even though he also does it in here due to fearing that someone might talk down to you because of your unidentified species. He kind of thinks he’s the only one who can truly cherish you for your whole beauty. You might have an advantage since you can just sneak past him whilst invisible, question is if you’re heartless enough to let innocents suffer under this because Ash can and will burn whole cities down if it leads him to getting you back.

Azusa Mukami

🔪I don’t think he ever met ghosts or other otherworldly creatures before even though he lived a pretty long life. It stands even open to question if he is aware of the existence such other creatures. Whilst he does know that vampires exist, he himself is a half-blooded one, he is not really too informed about other creatures and might even not really cared about it anyways before meeting his s/o. His brothers on the other hand considered the fact of other magical beings on this planet.

🔪He is saddened that you are already dead, it doesn’t matter since how long you’ve already been. It’s still very upsetting for him, especially if you should be mourning over something you couldn’t do in your life as well. I do see him as someone who might actually possess the selflessness to let you go if you’re really desperate despite knowing he’ll die without you. So it’s up to his brothers to find ways to bind you to this earth because they’re scared what Azusa will do if you should ever disappear and leave him alone for eternity. With a darling who likes their current body and is satisfied with themselves, Azusa will be happy as well and be in love with you and your fascinating powers.

🔪But please let him touch you. He is clingy and likes having physical contact with you and if you aren’t able to manifest yourself and hurt him, he will become overtime more desperate. His brother also realize the problem with you being able to escape anytime you want from them except if you make this place your new place to haunt for eternity which all of them hope. Whilst he does like feeling your actual warmth and body, he still finds your ghostly form appearing, the feeling of cold and lingering touches everywhere and yet nowhere at the same time. I do not know if ghosts possess blood or anything like this, I doubt it. So that means at least you don’t have to worry about him eventually giving in to temptation.

🔪He will never be able to understand if someone should dislike his s/o if they should be somewhat of a half breed. As I mentioned, I don’t think he really cared much about the possibility of other beings existing and certainly not a mix made from more than one species. It does add up to his worshipper tendencies since apparently people like you are not very common. He thinks you’re wonderful. As a half-ghost you might have blood inside of you, if it’s from a human is another thing to discuss. But Azusa is from all vampires the one who wouldn’t want to suck your blood, even if it drives him crazy. And even if his brothers try to force him, you can abandon your materialized form anytime for your ghost body. You give Azusa’s brothers honestly a bit of a hard time with your abilities, it’s mocking for them in a way.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere grell #yandere grell sutcliff #yandere lau #yandere ash #yandere ash landers #yandere diabolik lovers #yandere azusa #yandere azusa mukami

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