#ask-shane 🐓

[ask-shane]

*Puts all of Shane's thing on a really tall shelf*

hey quick question.

what's your fucking deal?

[ask-shane]

happy friday to sad fuckers like me.

[ask-shane]

i can’t even eat my tv dinner in peace.

there’s a big ass slime outside my window.

[ask-shane]

can check.

[ask-shane]

whyy do people like you so much when youre just a gloomy dude no hate

beats me. hell, i even agree with you.

[ask-shane]

growing my beard out at 1000 followers.

i’m gonna look like the wizard’s long-lost son.

[ask-shane]

Hi Shane :3 I accidentally loosened the screws on Louis's bed frame :3

(Himod take care drink plenty of water)

question. why the hell would you get close enough to his bed to do that? that thing’s gotta be nasty.

i know he’s too busy committing tax fraud to clean his sheets properly. and lord knows what’s on them.

[ask-shane]

Would you like to go to a movie with me ;D

(I'm asking you out)

as long as it’s not a shitty one.

actually… even if it is a shitty one. i’d like that too.

[ask-shane]

quick, i am in need of chicken name suggestions from chicken man himself (4 to be exact)

ok. off the top of my head, i'm thinking...

sunny, daisy, zuzu, and poppy. i've named a couple chickens in my day.

[ask-shane]

Thoughts on joja mart?

joja co in general is a capitalistic shithole corporation.

they're motivated purely by profit and are not at all concerned about treating their workers right. to them, i'm about as disposable as a can of joja cola you could fish up from the lake.

[ask-shane]

uncle shane why do people on the internet call you babygirl

some people have trouble understanding what babygirl means.

[ask-shane]

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese.

What's your favorite dad joke?

you know what the worst part of that joke is? i laughed at it.

where do tough chickens come from? hard-boiled eggs.

[ask-shane]

I eated ketchup :)

finally someone who isn't eating something completely unhinged and inedible.

[ask-shane]

Sorry I divorced you, wiped your memory, and then lovebombed you into loving me again. You're okay if I cheat on you with everyone else in the town right?

i’m going to choose to believe that didn’t happen for the sake of my mental health. but if it did, that’s… fucked up.

[ask-shane]

uh... i couldn't even say yes to a bouquet.

what makes you think i'll accept this?! i can't do that.

[ask-shane]

staring contest

-jax :D

alright. you're on. i'll warn you though, i'm bad at staring contests because i can't keep eye contact to save my life.