#asoue hector

[tealin]

@afterthegreatunknown, it's your lucky day ...

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr, special anxiety disorder edition

[free-my-boy-grumbot]

made a series of unfortunate events quiz to feed the brain worms. enjoy :]

ALSO i wanna know if these quizzes are actually accurate at all so tell me if im right in thr tags

[afterthegreatunknown]

(being limited by the word count option it has me picking those that can fit said limit.)

[gellavonhamster]

near dark (1987) but make it asoue

@carnivorous-horses-lover first of all, thank you for enabling me

Secondly, imagine, if you will, a small-town young man who works at his stepfather's farm. The young man's name is Fernald, and his life is pretty miserable - his attempt at an acting career in the City failed, forcing him to return to his hometown, and now he's stuck in a routine he doesn't enjoy. His relationship with his stepfather Widdershins isn't great - in part, probably, because his stepfather is a pretty miserable man too, a former sea captain now bound to live on land after sustaining injuries that made him unfit for life at sea. Nearly the only bright spot for Fernald is his teenage sister, Fiona - she's talented and smart, and surely won't become a failure like him.

One evening, as Fernald is getting drunk at the bar after a particularly angry row with his stepfather, he meets a cute and charming person called Orlando (I think this name would fit in fine in this AU - iirc, Sunny refers to the Henchperson like that at some point either in the books or in the series, and Virginia Woolf's Orlando is able to live for centuries without growing old). They hit it off right away, and damn, this might be the drink talking, but Fernald feels like he's falling in love. At the end of the night, just before sunrise, as Orlando is about to leave, he kisses them.

And then Orlando bites him. Bites him and sucks his blood.

After that, Orlando runs away without explanation, so at first, Fernald doesn't understand what has happened to him. But then the rising sun starts burning his flesh. As he's trying to hide in the shade, an RV drives up, and Orlando pulls him in. Inside, he finds a group of people all screaming at Orlando that they should kill Fernald, but then Orlando tells them that they've already turned him, and, after some discussion, the strangers inform him that they'll let him live - for now. Fernald learns that his new acquaintances are a band of vampires who roam the Land of Districts under the guise of a travelling acting troupe. The band is led by Count Olaf, a man claiming to have been an 18th century nobleman. Apart from him and Orlando, there's Olaf's girlfriend Esme, a Bald Man, two White-Faced Women, and Carmelita, a tween girl recently turned by Esme when the latter decided she wanted a daughter. They travel from town to town, kill people to feed, and occasionally steal a new vehicle and burn the old one to cover up their tracks.

The Count and the others tell Fernald that they're going to give him a probational period of sorts - he gets a week to learn to hunt, and if he doesn't, they're going to get rid of him. The problem is, Fernald can't make himself kill people. His thirst is strong and he can feel his organism starting to reject human food, but he cannot overcome his fear and disgust. Orlando helps him by hunting for him and feeding him their blood after they have fed themselves, but they tell him this cannot go on, and Fernald knows that eventually he has either to become a murderer or be murdered. In the Village of Fowl Devotees, where the vampires attack a bar, he fails to kill a local handyman and lets him escape. Everyone but Orlando is furious and wants to kill him, but then the police arrive, and Fernald risks his life to help the rest of the group escape. This pacifies the vampires, and they decide to give him more time to adjust.

Meanwhile, Widdershins and Fiona follow the trail of the vampires' rampage from town to town, hoping to catch up with Fernald and see if he can still be saved. They meet the handyman, Hector, who has seen which direction the vampires drove off to. After driving all day, they decide to stay at a motel, not knowing that Olaf's troupe is also staying there. At some point, while Widdershins isn't present, Fiona goes out of their room and runs into Carmelita. They strike a conversation, and Carmelita, happy to finally have someone her age to talk to, invites Fiona to their room. When Fiona sees her brother, she is overjoyed, but he immediately gets worried and tells her to leave. It is, however, too late: Carmelita wants a friend, and even though Olaf hates the idea, Esme is still fond enough of her toy - pardon, her child - to indulge her whims.

Luckily, Widdershins arrives and threatens the vampires with a gun. A scuffle ensures, and the whole family, including Fernald, manages to escape. For some reason, Widdershins is sure that a blood transfusion might help Fernald revert to human state. They try it, and it works.

The family returns home and wards the house against vampires ("but Stepfather, how do you even know all these things?" - "don't worry about it"), yet it turns out they've been followed. At night, Orlando comes and persuades Fernald to go out and talk to them. They try to convince Fernald to let them bite him again and go back with them, but eventually, unable to lie anymore, they break down and reveal that the other vampires made them distract him. Turns out that while they were talking, Olaf's troupe somehow broke through the protection of the house. Fernald discovers that his stepfather is grievously wounded and his sister is gone. Widdershins tells him that the vampires took Fiona away and urges Fernald to follow them. Fernald calls the ambulance for his stepfather and leaves to chase the troupe, who have by then picked up Orlando and driven away. He is attacked by the Bald Man and the White-Faced Women, but manages to defeat them.

Orlando, who is genuinely in love with Fernald, decides to risk incurring Olaf and Esme's wrath and help Fiona escape. Together they break out of the car and run towards Fernald. The sun is rising, and Orlando has to cover themselves with a jacket, because the sun keeps burning them. Furious Olaf and Esme, with Carmelita in the backseat, pursue them and attempt to run them over with their car. Fernald manages to push Fiona and Orlando away, but the car crashes into him, and he passes out.

He regains consciousness in the same small - and, honestly, shady-looking - hospital where his blood transfusion was performed. He is aching all over, and one of his hands has been amputated, but he's alive. Fiona is there, and so is his father, bruised but still standing - and Orlando, who has also been cured by a blood transfusion. Another person present, strangely, is the handyman from the Village of Fowl Devotees. He tells them that the car with the vampires exploded in the crash, but no human remains were found when the fire was extinguished. Perhaps they burned to ashes completely. Perhaps not.

Okay, says Fernald, what the hell. Why are you here? How did Stepfather know that the blood transfusions would help? What kind of hospital is this?

Widdershins and Hector share an awkward glance.

There used to be an... organization some years ago, they tell him. An organization created to battle supernatural threats. It was founded long ago by people privy to the secrets of the world. But it has been dying out for decades, and their generation was the last. Too many died, too many quit out of fear (Hector looks away, embarrassed), too many were seduced by the occult and joined the other side. But the few still remain - the ones who don't seek out the enemy actively, but still remember how to fight against it.

They call themselves volunteers.

And it seems no one can hide from what one is forever.

[w3bjad3]

WARNING:This contains Su1c1d3!

Hector or !¿H3Ct0r?

Please comment how your ASOUE AU characters reacted to seeing this...

[iliveinmyblanket]

I know it's called a series of unfortunate events but hector makes me hopeful, perhaps that's the point

[hello-mystery]

ASOUE Character that you like but others don't:

Im honestly not sure :/ - a lot of the chars i like are favourited :p

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Even More ASOUE Characters (Still The Adults)

And the Beatles Songs I Can't Help But Associate Them With, Part Two.

Montgomery 'Monty' Montgomery, Penny Lane (~Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs/Of every head he's had the pleasure to know/And all the people that come and go/Stop and say, "Hello"~)

Josephine Anwhistle, Octopus's Garden (~We would be so happy you and me/No one there to tell us what to do/I'd like to be under the sea/In an octopus' garden with you~)

Isaac 'Ike' Anwhistle, Here Comes the Sun (~Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces/Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here~)

Gregor Anwhistle, Strawberry Fields Forever (~Let me take you down/'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields/Nothing is real/And nothing to get hung about/Strawberry Fields Forever~)

Hector, Blackbird (~Blackbird singing in the dead of night/Take these broken wings and learn to fly/All your life/You were only waiting for this moment to arise~)

Madame Lulu, Tomorrow Never Knows (~Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream/It is not dying, it is not dying/Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void/It is shining, it is shining~)

Olivia Caliban, I'm Only Sleeping (~Keeping an eye on the world going by my window/Taking my time/Lying there and staring at the ceiling/Waiting for a sleepy feeling~)

R the Duchess of Winnipeg, Boys^ as cover by The Beatles [~My girl says when I kiss her lips/Get a thrill through her fingertips] + I Want to Hold Your Hand* (~Oh please, say to me/You'll let me be your man/And please, say to me/You'll let me hold your hand/You'll let me hold your hand/I want to hold your hand~)

^Originally a song by The Shirelles about how a girl feels about boys, I picked the cover version for R because given the irony about a man (Ringo, who sings the cover) singing about boys, I feel there's more irony by associating the cover with R, an implied canon lesbian, by changing the context of the cover: a woman who loves women 'singing' about the boys her lover dated/kissed before.

*Given that a cover version of I Want to Hold Your Hand appears in the movie Across the Universe (2007) with change of context being about a female's singer unrequited love for her female friend who is straight, I couldn't help myself but associate the song with R.

Captain Widdershins, The Fool on the Hill (~Day after day/Alone on a hill/The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still/But nobody wants to know him/They can see that he's just a fool/And he never gives an answer~) + (~But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down/And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round~)

Fernald, Hey Jude (~And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain/Don't carry the world upon your shoulders/For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool/By making his world a little colder) + (~Hey Jude, don't make it bad/Take a sad song and make it better/Remember to let her under your skin/Then you'll begin to make it/Better, better, better, better, better, better, oh!~)

[asouearchitecture]

Hot air mobile home

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[afterthegreatunknown]

sbg friendship: hector and olivia

i'm back at it with an old ask meme game i made a while back and being the creator i am doing it unasked nobody can stop me

Who I think befriended the other first: In a way, they befriended each other at the same time. Both thought each other as only acquaintances (help due to sharing mutual acquaintances and being in the same generation), but never friends proper.

But an incident involving Ishmael trying to teach them something broke down that barrier. Ishmael was trying to teach them a particular technique on how to set a fire (for 'right' reasons, like camping). Ishmael in trying to 'set' it out with a fire extinguisher got himself cover in the foamy stuff, and had to change his clothes. Hector and Olivia couldn't help but talk about it for days.

Who I think would steal the food of(f) the other plate: Olivia, but only with fries and potato chips. Hector tries to stop her, but she persists and will succeed in stealing one.

Which one would tell the other a secret first: Hector. Olivia jokingly tells him that she will tell others of said secret, but she never does so. Olivia likes Hector to not betray his trust.

(This makes her eventual death darkly true, for by then, she gives what others want. And that includes secrets she swears to keep.)

Ideal Hangout Locations: Either of their apartments (it's fun to stay in), Caligari Carnival (when it was in it's peak and golden days, it was a place to visit), Food trucks (especially if it's a Mexican taco trucks), stores (they enjoy the most mundane of shopping activities, like buying groceries or picking out hair care products or party decorations)

Which one would pretend to be their significant other if the situation ever calls for it: Olivia. She puts a good act too, as if she spotted her boyfriend from across the room, or if she came from the restroom and just saw a random person hitting on him. Hector is quite impress by her talents, saying she's ought to give acting at try.

What causes them to fight (seriously or jokingly): Truth to be told, they're the friends who never fight with one another. Sure, they have heated debates, but they never really fight with one another. They can't even do it jokingly.

How they stop being friends (or not): Being assign to the middle of the Hinterlands with almost no way of proper communication created a slow, painful end of Hector and Olivia's friendship. Both think fondly of those by-gone days, and they hope the other is happy with their life.

(It's fun to think that, no?)

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)