#ike anwhistle

[unfortunatetheorist]

The Complete Works of Contradictory Logic in ASOUE: Volume I (Quote Debunk 10)

Part 5 - The Wide Window S1 E5

01:27 - "Good evening, and welcome to Lachrymose News, where things that are happening keep happening until they stop."

Doesn't that happen on every single news channel?

02:04 - "...some very nice people were poisoned. But first, the weather."

Why would you do that?! Important thing UNDER unimportant thing?!

03:25 to 04:23 - Just the whole scene, really. But particularly the piece towards the middle:

"He's a thief and a murderer and so far has completely escaped capture. But I have the thing that just might turn things around - peppermints!"

Yeah. What an idiot.

And also:

"You can eat them in the taxi on the way to meet your dowager aunt."

"What's that?"

"Oh, Violet, I'm surprised at you. A girl your age should know that a taxi is a car that takes you someplace for a reasonable fee."

N.B. Josephine's fears are irrational, yes, but do not count as contradictory, as viewers can easily pick up on their lack of rationale.

25:00 - "It is not a date, necessarily. It's just two adults sharing quality time together over toasted rye bread and runny yolks." ¬ J.A.

I think Josephine needs to re-read the dictionary - isn't that the definition of a date?!

26:43 - "I remember it as if it were yesterday; although it was only a few hours ago."

Not quite contradictory enough to count, this is just an example of Handler's brilliant language manipulation/zeugma.

29:05 - "That's just how it happened with my husband!" - J.A.

"That wasn't pasta" - Captain Scam, I mean, Sham

"I lost my husband to the Lachrymose Leeches." ¬ Josephine

"Good heavens! I had absolutely no idea! I swear!" ¬ Olaf

No idea, huh, Olaf? Then how did you know it wasn't pasta?

29:14 - (same scene)

"I've never even heard of your husband, Ike." - Bald Man

How do you know his name if you've never heard of him?!

More to come,

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph

[afterthegreatunknown]

just think about it

Gregor: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Josephine: What?

Ike: What?

Hector: What?

Widdershins: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation about Queequeg from Moby Dick* I'm glad you asked, aye!

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Even More ASOUE Characters (Still The Adults)

And the Beatles Songs I Can't Help But Associate Them With, Part Two.

Montgomery 'Monty' Montgomery, Penny Lane (~Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs/Of every head he's had the pleasure to know/And all the people that come and go/Stop and say, "Hello"~)

Josephine Anwhistle, Octopus's Garden (~We would be so happy you and me/No one there to tell us what to do/I'd like to be under the sea/In an octopus' garden with you~)

Isaac 'Ike' Anwhistle, Here Comes the Sun (~Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces/Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here~)

Gregor Anwhistle, Strawberry Fields Forever (~Let me take you down/'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields/Nothing is real/And nothing to get hung about/Strawberry Fields Forever~)

Hector, Blackbird (~Blackbird singing in the dead of night/Take these broken wings and learn to fly/All your life/You were only waiting for this moment to arise~)

Madame Lulu, Tomorrow Never Knows (~Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream/It is not dying, it is not dying/Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void/It is shining, it is shining~)

Olivia Caliban, I'm Only Sleeping (~Keeping an eye on the world going by my window/Taking my time/Lying there and staring at the ceiling/Waiting for a sleepy feeling~)

R the Duchess of Winnipeg, Boys^ as cover by The Beatles [~My girl says when I kiss her lips/Get a thrill through her fingertips] + I Want to Hold Your Hand* (~Oh please, say to me/You'll let me be your man/And please, say to me/You'll let me hold your hand/You'll let me hold your hand/I want to hold your hand~)

^Originally a song by The Shirelles about how a girl feels about boys, I picked the cover version for R because given the irony about a man (Ringo, who sings the cover) singing about boys, I feel there's more irony by associating the cover with R, an implied canon lesbian, by changing the context of the cover: a woman who loves women 'singing' about the boys her lover dated/kissed before.

*Given that a cover version of I Want to Hold Your Hand appears in the movie Across the Universe (2007) with change of context being about a female's singer unrequited love for her female friend who is straight, I couldn't help myself but associate the song with R.

Captain Widdershins, The Fool on the Hill (~Day after day/Alone on a hill/The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still/But nobody wants to know him/They can see that he's just a fool/And he never gives an answer~) + (~But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down/And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round~)

Fernald, Hey Jude (~And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain/Don't carry the world upon your shoulders/For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool/By making his world a little colder) + (~Hey Jude, don't make it bad/Take a sad song and make it better/Remember to let her under your skin/Then you'll begin to make it/Better, better, better, better, better, better, oh!~)

[beatricebidelaire]

the anwhistles:

the beloved ike

And none of the Baudelaires would ever meet some of the organization's most beloved volunteers, including the mechanical instructor C. M. Kornbluth, and Dr. Isaac Anwhistle, whom everyone called Ike, and the brave volunteer who tossed the sugar bowl out the kitchen window so it would not be destroyed in the blaze, and watched it float away on one of the tributaries of the Stricken Stream.

-- lemony snicket’s narration

the volatile gregor

The poisonous fungus you insist on cultivating in the grotto will bring grim consequences for all of us. Our factory at Lousy Lane can provide some dilution of the mycelium's destructive respiratory capabilities, and you assure me that the mycelium grows best in small, enclosed spaces, but this is of little comfort. One mistake, Gregor, and your entire facility would have to be abandoned. Please, do not become the thing you dread most by adopting the destructive tactic of our most villainous enemies: playing with fire.

-- kit snicket’s letter in tgg

the mysterious H

[?]

****

one beloved volunteer, one volatile and considered a threat by the vfd, and one mysterious and unknown .................  does that remind anyone else of the denouements, one volunteer, the who belongs in the vfd, and one firestarter, the who turned against vfd and considered a threat by the vfd, and one mysterious and unknown urban legend

[duchessofvfd]

#VFDfiles

name: Ike Anwhistle

age: 21

department: Marine

"I know simply that the sky will last longer than I."

[curiouscreationss]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)

[cygninae]

So this is really random, and no one asked for this, but have my nationality headcanons for a whole load of asoue/atwq characters.?? No real explanation for these hcs, it's just how I imagine the characters ! :) (might throw in some extra hcs along the way because why not.)

P.S I'm quite fascinated by the history of the colonisation of America and the patterns of immigration that occurred thereafter, which is partially why I'm making this post. However, I'm not American and have never received actual American education so I'm sorry if I am miseducated in any regard.

Sugar bowl gen

Esmé Squalor is British/Syrian

HC: she is a first generation immigrant to the USA when the events of the books take place. Her mother was Syrian and her father British. She has a twin brother who disagreed with her involvement in VFD and left the USA to go back to England once they were of age. She hasn't seen him since they were teenagers.

Jerome Squalor is British-American

HC: His parents immigrated to the USA from England before he was born.

Bertrand Baudelaire is French

HC: He is a first-generation immigrant and went to the USA on his own after the death of his parents.

Beatrice Baudelaire is American

HC: By the time she was born, her family had been in the USA for many generations. Some British and Irish ancestry.

The Snicket siblings are Chinese-American

HC: the Snicket siblings are second-generation immigrants to the USA. Both of their parents were Chinese.

Mrs (headcanoned first name Marzia) Quagmire is Italian-American

HC: she is a second generation immigrant. She grew up in a household that primarily spoke Italian.

Mr (headcanoned first name William) Quagmire is American

HC: like Bea, his family had been in the USA for many generations before his birth. British and Dutch ancestry.

Count Olaf is German-American

HC: Olaf is a second or third generation immigrant. His family were very wealthy but went to ruin and ran away to the USA. He still insists on keeping his ancestral title despite this.

Montgomery Montgomery is Pakistani-American

HC: Monty is a second-gen immigrant. He had three siblings who all moved across the USA once of age, but he made an effort to keep in touch with them and their extended family in Pakistan.

Ellington Feint is Chinese-American

HC: Ellington is a second-gen immigrant. Her father was American with British ancestry and her mother was a first-gen Chinese immigrant.

Captain (headcanoned first name Rory) Widdershins is Irish-American

HC: a third-gen immigrant who grew up very disconnected from his heritage due to being in the foster system.

Fernald "Widdershins" is Moroccan/American

HC: him and his sister Fiona (and theorised sister Friday) had an American mother and Moroccan father. Their father left before they were born and mother left when Fiona was young, so they were raised by Widdershins. They know very little about their heritage.

Moxie Mallahan is American

HC: her family had been in the USA for many generations before her birth. Distant British and Dutch ancestry.

Arthur Poe is American

HC: Poe and his wife both had generations of family in the USA. He has some Dutch ancestry.

Josephine Anwhistle is American

HC: her family had also been in the USA for many generations. She had distant Irish ancestry. She made effort to reconnect with her ancestry in some regards.

Ike Anwhistle is American

HC: Ike, too, had family for generations in the USA. Canonically in the books, he is the second cousin of one of the Baudelaire parents (I hc him on Bea's side of the family) so in my headcanon, his ancestry is British/Irish. His brother, Gregor, is obviously the same.

The Denouement triplets are American

HC: the triplets are third-generation immigrants with British and Dutch ancestry. Mother's side British and father's side Dutch. There had been plans to raise the triplets in England, but a mysterious friend of their mother convinced them to stay in the USA for reasons unknown...

Unfortunate Gen

The Baudelaire children are French-American

HC: Bea is American and Bertrand French, as stated above. They grew up speaking both languages fluently.

The Quagmire triplets are Italian-American

HC: their mother is Italian and their father American. Their mother and her parents made sure they grew up speaking Italian.

Fiona Widdershins is American/Moroccan

HC: As stated with Fernald above, her biological father was Moroccan, although her and Fernald never knew him nor that they were Moroccan.

Carmelita Spats is Dutch-American

HC: Carmelita is a fourth-generation immigrant and she has little connection to her ancestry due to not being in contact with her family anymore.

Beatrice Baudelaire II is Chinese-American

HC: as Kit is her mother, she has her ancestry, of course. I am personally a fan of the theory that Olaf is her father, not Dewey, so in this post, we'll say that his ancestry plays here too...

Ben (Violet's friend) is American

HC: Ben is American with British and Native American ancestry.

Well, I've probably missed about a million characters, but there it is ! This is a super random post but I just felt like I might as well post some headcanons for the hell of it. Always love to hear other people's headcanons for Snicketverse characters. Thanks if you read all the way to the end, I love you

[constancecontraire]

welcome to the sugar bowl gen showdown!

this is a bracketed tournament to determine who is THE sugar bowl gen blorbo of the asoue tumblr fandom!! i’ve included 28 members of the sbg, and 24 of them will be matched up in the first round.

(lemony, esmé, beatrice, and kit all get a pass to round 2 because i say so, and because they would obliterate the round 1 competition anyway.)

links to the polls are below the cut, and this post will be updated as new rounds are posted. may the best chef’s salad win!!

WINNER: LEMONY SNICKET

final round:

lemony snicket vs. kit snicket

esmé squalor vs. beatrice baudelaire (third place)

semifinal round:

lemony snicket vs. esmé squalor

beatrice baudelaire vs. kit snicket

quarterfinal round:

josephine anwhistle vs. esmé squalor

beatrice baudelaire vs. jacques snicket

bertrand baudelaire vs. kit snicket

jacquelyn scieszka vs. lemony snicket vs. dewey denouement

round 2:

lemony snicket vs. gustav sebald

jacquelyn scieszka vs. dewey denouement (tie)

olivia caliban (netflix) vs. josephine anwhistle

larry your-waiter vs. esmé squalor

beatrice baudelaire vs. frank denouement

duchess r vs. jacques snicket

bertrand baudelaire vs. hector

monty montgomery vs. kit snicket

round 1:

gustav sebald vs. georgina orwell

jacquelyn sciezska vs. sally sebald

gregor anwhistle vs. dewey denouement

olivia caliban (netflix) vs. captain widdershins

josephine anwhistle vs. ernest denouement

larry your-waiter vs. olivia caliban (books)

mrs. quagmire vs. frank denouement

duchess r vs. mr. quagmire

miranda caliban vs. jacques snicket

bertrand baudelaire vs. ike anwhistle

hector vs. count olaf

monty montgomery vs. jerome squalor

[moldygreenblue]

Careful Girl

(AO3 link is here.)

Every day, Josephine’s internal alarm clock wakes her up at six o’ clock. Monday through Friday, and on the occasional Saturday. Josephine sets her actual alarm clock set up to wake her up ten minutes after six as a failsafe, though she always wakes up before it gets the chance to do so. On Sundays, and the occasional Saturday, Josephine turns off her alarm clock to catch some extra sleep. However, her body gotten use to waking up early, so Josephine never gets the chance to do so.

It's rare for Josephine to find herself waking up before six o’ clock. This Saturday though, Josephine found herself waking up at four-thirty with an empty stomach that couldn’t be ignore. What does someone do regarding an empty stomach?

Get something to eat, of course, and Josephine is doing just that. Josephine is quietly traversing the hallways to get to the kitchen. Most of the adults stationed at the City’s Headquarter arrive at six o’ clock. Some though, like the cafeteria staff, tend to arrive between five and five-thirty to prepare breakfast, before moving onto lunch and dinner.

As Josephine makes one more turn, she thinks about what snack she’ll be making. She thinks about two slices of toast rubbed over by tomatoes, drizzle it with olive oil, sprinkle on some salt and pepper, and top off with anchovies. It’s a snack Josephine can somewhat recall her mother making, sometimes without the anchovies when guests arrived to their home.

Josephine really likes it with the anchovies.

Josephine continues to walk down the hallway that will lead to the kitchen directly, she plans on also stealing a few dried fruit packets for Olivia, her dormmate. Olivia, unlike Josephine, never got her weekend free time privileges for the week. That means Olivia, like several other students, has to attend the full half-school day.

Weekend free time privileges determines if a student will get out of the half-school day early, or get the whole day off. Losing those privileges is different than never getting them. Losing them means having to attend a regular full day of school and getting assigned extra homework. Never getting them means you endure the regular half-school day.

Josephine is lucky with her privileges, for she always gets the whole day off. Olivia normally gets the same deal too. At least until this week. Josephine as such plans on stealing Olivia the dried fruit packets, for lunch is pushed back from twelve to one on Saturdays.

“Maybe I’ll get Olivia the dried fruit packets with the cantaloupe,” says Josephine, opening one the metal double doors to the kitchen. “Olivia loves cantaloupe. But would she—”

Josephine finds herself going quiet upon entering the kitchen, with the onset of panic rising through her body. There in the kitchen, is Hector A. (full surname unknown), and Isaac ‘Ike’ Anwhistle. Ike is standing right beside the counter, holding a bag of open tortilla chips. He’s mid-way pouring them into one of two bowls meant for soup.

Hector is also standing right beside the counter. Hector however, is holding a sharp metal knife, hovering it over a big circular block of white cheese. He’s holding a sharp metal knife even she can’t use, despite being thirteen-years-old and thus moved on from children’s cooking tools.

“Put. The knife. Down.” Josephine speaks with clear emphasis on what she wants Hector to do.

Hector does just that. He puts the knife down on the counter, though he doesn’t look happy about it. Ike however, is oblivious to Hector’s dismay, as well as Josephine’s own worry and frustration. Ike stops his pouring and smiles and wave at her.

“Good morning, Josephine! It’s good to see you awake!” Ike briefly glances at the soup bowls and then back at her. “Would you like some bootleg chilaquiles for breakfast?”

Josephine blinks a few times. “…Bootleg chilaquiles?”

“Yes! Bootleg chilaquiles!” Ike shakes his head as he speaks, still smiling. “Do you know what chilaquiles is?”

“No.”

“Chilaquiles is a Mexican breakfast dish that is made from corn tortillas cut into quarters and then fried or baked,” says Hector. “It’s then poured over by green or red sauce, depending on the person’s preference, and topped over with crema, queso fresco, sliced onion, and avocado slices. You can also put an egg or shredded chicken over it, if you want.”

“You’re using tortilla chips though,” replies Josephine.

“That’s why it’s bootleg chilaquiles, Josephine!” Ike continues to pour the bag of tortilla chips into the soup bowl, before moving onto the second bowl. “Hector and I can’t use the stove and fry anything, and we don’t know how to work an oven. We discovered that tortilla chips make a good substitute!”

“You know you’re using bootleg wrong, right?”

“Oh yes,” answers Ike, nodding his head. “I just think it has a nice sound to it.”

Josephine couldn’t help but nod her head in agreement. “It does, actually. Well, I’m glad to know you’re not using the stove or oven for your bootleg chilaquiles, but I’m still concern. Hector was cutting into cheese with a sharp metal knife meant for adults. Why not use pre-shredded mozzarella, or any other pre-shredded cheese available? It’s better than shredding your own with a hand grater and risk cutting your fingers.”

“This isn’t the first time I used an adult knife in preparing food,” says Hector, picking up the knife once again. He then carefully cuts into the block of cheese, cutting out three wedges of uneven proportions. “And pre-shredded mozzarella, and any other pre-shredded cheese for that matter, doesn’t taste the same as using queso fresco. Using the real thing is more better.”

“You mean ‘much better’ Hector,” corrects Josephine, now curious about the block of cheese itself. “Are you saying that is queso fresco?”

“It is!” Ike sets down the bag of tortilla chips onto the counter —behind the bowls — and grabs a nearby paper towel roll. He tears off a sheet, and walks over to Hector, picking up the biggest wedge out of the three. Ike then walks over to Josephine, and gives her it.

“You should try it,” says Ike, “at least once.”

Josephine stares at the white wedge of cheese in the paper towel, then at Ike, and then back at the cheese again. Josephine soon shrugs her shoulders, and quickly pops the whole wedge into her mouth. It’s a big wedge, but it’s one she can eat in one bite and in a few chews.

The cheese, like many other cheeses kept in the refrigerator, is cold. The cheese is also soft and moist. It’s soft and moist unlike any other cheese Josephine ate before. To say it melts in her mouth is wrong, but Josephine thinks there’s a crumbly texture to it that makes it seems it’s melting in her mouth. She chews a bit more, and then swallow the cheese. Josephine now understands why Hector would want to use queso fresco instead of pre-shredded cheeses.

“That is pretty good cheese,” says Josephine. “Where you get it from? I doubt the City’s Headquarters would have queso fresco as an ingredient on hand.”

“Not typically,” answers Hector. “Headquarters also doesn’t have tortilla chips lying around either, as well as salsas. The meeting the adults had last week in auditorium apparently served food though. Food offered at the meeting included tortilla chips, salsas, and queso fresco. I suspect the last one was used for a cheese platter of sorts.”

“So, Josephine,” says Ike. “Do you want some bootleg chilaquiles?”

“I don’t see the harm of trying it,” says Josephine. “It’s not every day you get to try something new to eat.”

[unfortunatetheorist]

Hidden Biblical Allusion in ASOUE

The subject of Biblical Allusions in ASOUE has been a very controversial one. It is the reason the series has been banned in some places, and it's the main reason for the series' criticism.

There are some very clear Biblical parallels in ASOUE, e.g. The Baudelaires receiving an apple from Ink in The End (alluding to Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden).

However, there is something that has caught my attention - 3 characters in particular - Ike Anwhistle, Ishamel and Jacob Snicket.

Ike's full name is Isaac, giving:

Ishmael, Isaac and Jacob

Which are the names of 3 Biblical characters.

Ishmael and Isaac were half-brothers and Jacob was Isaac's younger son - but they all stem from Abraham.

But how does this fit into ASOUE?

Well, in the Bible, the age order is:

Ish > Ike > Jake

But in ASOUE, it's:

Jake >= Ish > Ike

However, if we consider the numerous clear allusions to the Bible throughout the series, we could also interpret this as saying:

The Anwhistles, Snickets and Ishmael are RELATED to each other.

Of course, given the family tree in LSTUA, we see that most members of V.F.D. have some ludicrous connection to each other, but my theory is their genealogy is CLOSER to each other's than everyone else in the organisation.

This is why, in book canon, there is a CHANCE (albeit very slim) that Josephine MAYBE survives.

Also, thinking about this has led me to think of other things:

If Ishmael doesn't have a last name, and readers don't know what Bertrand's surname was (before he married Beatrice)...

Is Ishmael Bertrand's grandfather?

This would explain his overtaking of The Island - he may THINK Bertrand is far too child-like and irresponsible, and is unaware of the dangers of the world, allowing him to act 'in loco parentis' to Bertrand.

It's possible, but it's also just an idea.

Maybe I've gone to Very Far Distances with this one...

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[afterthegreatunknown]

how fuck up would it be if gregor vanished one day out at sea during an investigation over 'the great unknown' while during his myceilum research in the early stages?

and hector and ike decided to put on a ruse that gregor came back to continue working on it via letters and late night meetings from a distance (for the two can disguise themselves as gregor under the right circumstances), never inside anwhistle aquatic itself.

and everyone bought into it, even kit, writing 'gregor' a letter about the danger of the fungus (a letter that hector wrote, that ike sent to her place) and how 'gregor' is going to be playing with fire, with the looming threat that something was going to happen.

and that happening was the anwhistle aquatic fire, which the two suspected from the get-go, and how they realize they have to let gregor die again, with this time being harder due to a lack of body to place, and how more hurt they felt knowing they caused gregor's death a second time.

and hector and ike at gregor's funeral, are screaming on the inside knowing that this fake funeral shouldn't be happening, for the real funeral was one they prevented, and the two were so ridden with guilt of their ruse ike became more recluse with josephine, and hector hid from the world in the village in the hinterland.

and hector, learning of ike's death of leeches, which he suspects was not because he had forgotten to not wait a full hour, when face with kit and widdershins, wishes he could tell them the truth of everything.

and he never does because what likely killed gregor all those years ago is now reaching them, reaching him at last.

how fuck up would it be?

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Had fun drawing these guys a while back in outfits I don’t usually draw them in. And in Gregor and Ike’s case, also sporting facial hair.

(It would be a redrawing of a redrawn drawing if it wasn’t for the outfits and the facial hair.)

[asoue-siblings-bracket]

Welcome to the ASOUE Siblings Bracket Poll

Links to Polls Here:

ROUND 1: (COMPLETE)

Violet, Klaus, & Sunny Baudelaire vs. Gustav & Sally Sebald [Winner: The Baudelaires]

Frank, Ernest, & Dewey Denouement vs. Fernald & Fiona Widdershins [Winner: The Denouements]

The White Faced Women vs. Duncan, Isadora, & Quigley Quagmire [Winner: The Quagmires]

Jacques, Kit & Lemony Snicket vs. Gregor & Ike Anwhistle [Winner: The Snickets]

ROUND 2: (COMPLETE)

Violet, Klaus, & Sunny Baudelaire vs. Frank, Ernest, & Dewey Denouement [Winner: The Baudelaires]

Duncan, Isadora, & Quigley Quagmire vs. Jacques, Kit, & Lemony Snicket [Winner: The Snickets]

ROUND 3: (COMPLETE)

Violet, Klaus, & Sunny Baudelaire vs. Jacques, Kit, & Lemony Snicket [Winner: The Baudelaires]

Note: Due to lack of illustrations and/or live action portrayals of some of these characters (and especially of these characters together as a family), no photos will be included in this competition.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNERS: VIOLET, KLAUS, AND SUNNY BAUDELAIRE!!

Thank you to everyone who participated!

[snicketsquadron]

Family Tree Headcanons

I’m the kind of person who often holds multiple contradictory headcanons because I like exploring possibilities. Within the space of this blog, I use headcanons for some internal consistency, but even so, I treat threads as independent and may play with different headcanons thread to thread. That being said, I wanted to lay out a ‘default’ for this blog/my own writing regarding the Snicket family tree.

ABC Generation The family tree starts here. This could mean C was the first Snicket to join VFD, much as R was the latest in a long line of duchesses, but was the first VFD member. But Lemony mentions in EE that he learned the code from his grandfather, who learned it in turn for at least four generations (two grandfathers) back. And the map of the city which includes “sketches of costumes” and VFD tunnels, has had “twelve previous owners”. Whether or not it was formally VFD, Snickets have been involved in codes and conspiracies for way before ABC. 

I personally headcanon ABC as brothers, possibly identical triplets (similar to the Denouements. Twins/triplets skips a generation and re-appears in Jacques and Kit). Charles’ name is canonically known. In previous threads I’ve used Aaron as E’s uncle and I might stick with that. Though I also like Abraham for its literal meaning (”father of many” as the eldest of this massive Snicket clan) and for the VFD parallels of the story of Abraham and Isaac, as a father willing to sacrifice his son on faith. B I headcanon as Benjamin. The reason his whereabouts are uninteresting is he never joined VFD. He was just never interested. Benjamin Snicket lived out his life having a normal, mundane job like being a florist or something and never got caught up in the codes and plots his brothers were into. 

DEF Generation I’ve personally established F as Fiona in a thread before and I’m sticking to that. I like the idea of Fiona Widdershins being named after someone two generations earlier. E, is of course, the Snicket mother. I’ve been personally calling her Esther in my head but I’m not locked in on that. I do accept the common fanon that D is the parent of the Anwhistle brothers (see below) with one eyebrow and ear. However, I will typically not be following the other common theory that this is also Ishmael’s student. Ishmael’s student was orphaned, and C lived long enough to meet and teach Lemony and Kit. Personal headcanon name: Delilah.

GHI Trio I will be following common fanon that  G and I are Gregor and Ike Anwhistle, taking their last name from their (unnamed) father. This does mean that Gregor and Ike are first cousins to Jacques, Kit and Lemony. VFD families are often interconnected. Some people theorize H is Hector, who is a VFD member. But Hector’s interactions with the Snickets in both VV and WCTBATH? don’t really fit a ‘first cousins’ vibe for me. There are enough repeated initials in VFD to go around. No locked in name (Heather? Hailey?). Tempted to say H is named Helvella after a family of mushrooms.

Connection to Beatrice It’s mentioned in the Wide Window that Ike is also Beatrice’s cousin, and whistling is a family trait. There is a way for this to be true without Lemony and Beatrice being related, if Beatrice is Ike’s cousin on his father’s side of the family. This, again, gives a neat way for the Baudelaire family to get involved in VFD and repeates the motif of layered VFD families. Betrand (as stated by Poe in TPP) was an orphan, so might have taken on the Baudelaire family name, as Jacob did for the Snickets. This does mean Lemony and Beatrice, while themselves unrelated, would share cousins. (It makes me think of stories where sets of sisters marry sets of brothers).

JKL Jacques, Kit and Lemony. The classic Snickets. Firmly established in canon.

MNO I do not think O is Olaf, it does not make sense given how the characters interact and talk about one another for him to be cousins with JKL. M and O being Miranda and Olivia Caliban is more plausible (definitely not in TV-based threads where J and O are a couple) but even in book verse I don’t think there’s any indication Lemony and Jacques interact with O in a familial way. This is something I might use in a thread-by-thread basis, but as a rule of thumb MNO will be different characters.

[whoslaurapalmer]

for @asouefanworkevent’s woevember day 1, sugar bowl gen siblings, i put together some ~sebald sibling headcanons~ ⭐⭐

-gustav is older, by three years

-gustav wears green and black (he likes suits), sally wears black and white (she likes stripes)

-when they were kids, they played a game (in the grand headcanon tradition of ‘sugar bowl gen siblings like Playing Games’) called cat. there was a cat who hung around the library of the city headquarters, a little black cat named doyle, who spent her time gently pawing things to the edge of the table they were on (books, pens, ike’s cup of water, beatrice’s glasses she’d purposely leave around), and then knocking them off, and gustav and sally would watch her and go ‘oh that looks like fun?’ so they would balance things on the edges of tables to see where the center of balance was, and take turns finding high places around headquarters to drop things off of for the other to try and catch

-sally is into photography, and music

-when sally was old enough to have her own camera, she definitely took lots of pictures of Things Falling Through The Air while playing cat with gustav. she thought they were very artsy. adult!sally is slightly embarrassed about all the photos, but still thinks they look pretty cool.

-she helped gustav on almost all of his films (specifically, she did the scores)

-gustav’s greatest love is film, but he also worked in codes, and with monty in herpetology

-the two of them didn’t spend a great deal of time together actually, after their apprenticeships (which were both in the city, so they saw each other a lot then), but they were usually working on the same things just separately – sally would gather the information that gustav put in his movies, they would keep the scripts in one place and go there separately to make edits on the other’s work, one would be on set and the other would be somewhere else, they sent each other a lot of coded telegrams and would doodle around the edges of them (gustav drew little squiggles, sally drew clusters of stars) (sally’s handwriting is very loopy and gustav’s is very tight but they both write numbers very similarly)

-they clearly aren’t twins but they look so remarkably alike that they’re still often mistaken for twins. they’re both very tall and have the same close-cropped black hair

-sally once broke into anwhistle aquatics to get information on the medusoid mycelium, on kit’s orders

-gustav would put any information in his movies. whatever was important, regardless of what “side” of vfd it was about. not like…..locations, or plots or assignments, but Facts. (like, he doesn’t give the exact location of the survivor of the fire, but puts it out there that there was a survivor of a fire.) his primary goal was that information and facts were available. that the medusoid mycelium was a thing that existed did go into a movie.

-even if they were rarely together, they were more in sync with each other than most other sugar bowl gen siblings. they implicitly trusted each other and knew the other would always be around somewhere behind them to have their back.

-they shared a lot of the same traits just by virtue of being siblings; of doing the same thing your sibling does, because that’s your sibling, because you’re related, and you do unique but similar things without even thinking about them because you’re always a part of each other

-they’d regularly eat in the same diner but at different times of the day, and sally would usually be in there first, and would put all but one of the sugar packets at her table in her iced tea (it was never sweet enough for her). she’d leave the last packet balanced on the edge of the sugar container on the table.

-when gustav would come in later for dinner with monty, they’d sit at the same table, and gustav would pick up the sugar packet and smile and then have to ask other tables if he could use their sugar packets because the iced tea there wasn’t sweet enough for him, either. he’d leave a different brand of sugar packet balanced on the opposite side of the container sally placed hers on.

-they both carried a lot of Things with them. gustav always put things in his jacket pockets and would pull out things ranging from salad dressing to whole books (he used the salad dressing as actual salad dressing, but also in chase scenes.), sally always had a waterproof bag with her and pulled out things ranging from her camera to board games (she favored stratego) (both of them like to be prepared for any eventuality)

-gustav had a pen clipped to the front pocket of his jacket, sally would have a pen behind her ear

-they were both talkative, but in different ways. gustav was long-winded and wordy, sally was to the point but also incredibly detailed when explaining something. they make the exact same “oh!” noise when startled or excited.

-both of them had a go-to topic of conversation when things got awkward and it was just variations on discussing the weather. they’re both very interested in what the weather is because it can make or break shooting a scene or taking a picture