#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[who-is-page]

I’m heavily pro-endo so that statement was meant literally (polytherian does not experience any form of plurality but calls themselves a system purely based on having multiple theriotypes).

Even if we were just talking about self expression. As a disabled person, does being radically accepting mean I have to accept nonhumans who are not disabled (who have said they are not disabled) using medical equipment to express their nonhumanity (i.e. someone using a cane solely for the purpose of showing they should not be bipedal). Because, it’s their right to express that way but it doesn’t sit right with me that I’m watching someone use medical equipment as an accessory. It’s not harmful but it’s also not something I can agree with.

I guess my point is. Where do you draw the line with radical acceptance? If we believe everyone about everything, if we accept every form of expression, at what point can we recognize what is harmful and not? If a couple people are hurt by it, is that harmful or just a personal opinion?

By no means is any of this meant as an attack. I’m really just trying to figure out where the radically accepting folks come from (as I once thought myself to be RA but found it brought on much toxicity and drama to spaces that weren’t that way before). As I said. I love Beastpunk for all its other qualities… just not the radically accepting (basically blind faith in my opinion) part…

Look, as someone who walks with a cane and wishes it was as well-loved and accepted an accessory as glasses currently are, so I'd get less shit about using one and accessibility for canes would be more baseline, I think you seriously need to reconsider why you can't agree with that. And why, even though you openly admit it isn't harmful, it's still being used as an example in this scenario.

Let's open the doors on this-- we're talking about a concept where we are trusting people to know themselves better than we know them, and where we are accepting the aspects about people that they cannot change, and where we are accepting people's non-harmful forms of self-expression. Where does any of that suddenly scoop your ability to think critically and deeply about information being presented to you out of your skull? I'm hunting through my essay and, you know, I simply just can't find the part where we yoink out your common sense or ability to question others.

Beastpunk is against plenty of harmful ideaologies and communities-- like pshifting, for instance, for historical reasons as outlined in the essay. You can be beastpunk and have opinions about what constitutes harm and what doesn't. But, as I said before, you're conflating radical acceptance as spoken of here with tucking tail and showing off your throat and belly, so to speak. You are confusing radical acceptance within this framework with an inability to confront others and to dig in deep to question why you are uncomfortable with something to decide if it really truly causes harm or if it's just internalized shit you need to unpack (re: the cane thing). And look, I cannot give you that skill. And being beastpunk requires that skill.

I cannot in good faith recommend beastpunk to you when you have so blatantly misunderstood what it represents, and seem to have a total inability to grasp one of the underlying, core principles of it.

Other folks are also welcome to chime in.

[ravenyenn19]

thoughts on the ferolind esque scene in episode eight?? Personally I was screaming at my screen the entire time 😂 I still can't stop thinking about it!!!! Freddy and Amita are so so talented. OH also what are your thoughts on show Wesper?

Hello!!! I am sorry this is a few days late- after I opened my asks the other night, I promptly realized I had left my laptop charger elsewhere... in true fanfic-authorTM fashion. <3 PS- for any others reading this, spoilers ahead for both the books & the show! Be warned, wary tag scrollers.

BUT

Regarding your first question & the Ferolind-esque scene in the Chapel... I loved loved hearing that line of dialogue on screen. It was a beautiful portrayal by both Freddy & Amita and I genuinely don't think they could have done such a pivotal scene adaptation from the books any better. <3

HOWEVER... I do wish to be honest about the fact that I think the weight of those words were not quite as heavy for non-readers. This is because in the show, we did not get a real focus on Inej's own issues regarding intimacy/ the amount of trauma she herself possesses. Now, I do firmly believe that the showrunners/writers intend for her backstory to take a firmer foothold on the screen in either the SoC spinoff or S3, but I cannot shake the belief that they should have pushed Inej's story to an equal with Kaz's in some aspect THIS season. I watched the show with someone who has not read the books, and for him, he didn't understand why Inej said those words to Kaz beyond essentially saying "Please just hurry & heal", which was never what "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all" really meant. At least, it was never so simple to me (nor I suspect most of the fandom).

I can't help but worry that this was the same for other viewers with no detailed knowledge of Inej's past. I do also recognize that netflix needed to cut much out in order to merge so much material. Yet I firmly believe without Inej's internal monologues of the book nor external flashbacks/ conversations (as they did with Kaz), it is harder to grasp her words as meaning more than literal. Or, in some contexts, almost cruel. Which Inej never was, not once.

Anyways, I almost would have preferred to see a line of dialogue in the vein of "It's not easy for me either", in order to portray Inej's own depth of understanding in how hard it is for Kaz, because she too battles her own mind & PTSD.

This is all to say, I adored the scene. I understand why the writers did it, and I am glad they did if only for ensuring we did get to see it, no matter what happens with renewals etc. I also think a few small changes could have led to a more balanced representation of Kaz & Inej's intricate relationship. I know this is a lot of thoughts, but because I've spent so long writing for kanej, I obviously value their characters too much to stop my writer's mind.

I guess, for me, the epitome of Kaz & Inej's relationship is true equality, and I don't know that it carried over to the show as much as I wish it would have. TL;DR: I loved the scene and the characterization was gorgeous. I think one or two things could have made it even better. <3

WESPER

Your second question... I honestly loved them in the show. Of course it was very different from the books, but... Idk. Somehow, the heart of it was still so very much them. I think it was genuinely sweet in a way, that they were able to just... push forward with their love story on the screen. <3

Kit & Jack are somehow ripped from SoC, their portrayal was SPOT ON. I cannot commend them enough. Sincerely. <3

Thank you for being here & asking!!! I am just excited to rave with fellow fans. <3 Also I commend you if you read this whole thing, I know I'm long winded...

[charleslebatman]

Mastermind bestie 🌀 back again for another quick comment

I would like to implore my non-French/francophone peers to please acknowledge and understand that we do not understand the full context and lived experience of the French people who are affected by the retirement laws. I see many people say “she liked the tweets ironically! It was a joke!” despite not speaking any French and I think it’s important to recognize that you might not be able speak about this specific topic without the full knowledge of language and culture. Sometimes it’s best to defer to people who have lived experiences and can speak about these issues in an informed way.

I personally am an American and I’m not going to pretend like I fully understand the intricacies of French politics. But as someone who is a supporter of workers rights and has taken time to read OPs responses, read articles, and even watch tiktoks from French content creators, I have the discernment to see that this law is a fundamental violation of many French people’s economic stability and rights. There are many other intersectional aspects of this law in regards to race, gender, education level, etc I cannot fully grasp either, but I recognize that what I can do is listen and learn. I also know that as someone who doesn’t speak French, I can’t recognize or understand the specifics of irony and humour in a language I don’t speak. So it’s not my place to say whether tweet likes are made it good faith or not.

I’m going to listen to a person who is affected by something on how it’s impacting their communities. I think that’s the bare minimum of being an ally.

Much love and solidarity with the French working class who continue to fight for their rights.

Also, to the anon who said “what’s so bad about Zionism”, I suggest you look up the word genocide and do some reading on settler colonialism. From the river to the sea free Palestine 🇵🇸

In fact, the problem and the injury I very clearly had when I tried to explain these tweets. It's the nonchalance of people and international people who thought they knew better than me what it meant, when they have no idea what it means and are unable to listen to someone who has been at the heart of things.

Whereas for Kelly or other wags, it's a cacophony and an cancellation every where. But here, nothing. While I was flabbergasted that she'd liked this, like really, I had people in stop-your-acting mode.

Like really, the French pain in the ass who bore us with her demonstrations. When she could have liked so many other things, so many other laws. I would have said, I hate her opinions, her problems.

Here, no. She liked a context, a policy of a dictatorial government that has beaten and gassed its people with weapons of war. While she was in Paris, strutting around the Louvre and taking advantage of the system, she liked tweets that will never concern her. As a Frenchman or woman, you can't imagine how hurtful it is to see Charles affiliated with this. And that he's piling them up right now.

One day I'll do a real post on why idolizing this girl as a pretty, discreet French-speaking influencer is so wrong, and as a French person, we really want to bash these people.

It's like asking me to forget Kelly's actions and continue to support her because she's with Max. It's exactly the same level. As I said at the time, I can show you elderly people in the middle of Paris, Bordeaux, Nice, Toulouse and all the big and small towns in France who have been beaten up. It's a miracle no one died.

Yes, I remain very passionate about this subject because it means so much to the French and it's a real heartbreak. She didn't like it as a parody, otherwise I would have known. At first, when I was told that the first tweet was parody, I was like "gee, I made a mistake" and then I was shown the second one. And then I understood. She didn't give a damn about the poor.

You worship a Kelly at the end of the day, and people can't even see it because she's played it so fine and has a private insta account.

Plus, I’m glad to finally see a French anon 🇫🇷understanding me.

It’s as if I said to you, living in America, wait this law with the bravery you should take and fight in a manifestation is too much dramatic for us. It’s the view of the person, move on. While I’m french, miles away from your country and the policy of your country. You’ll see me, as girl fuck you. 😂 So imagine with the revolutionary side we’ve as french people, to see all this praising every where I’ve a fuck you push at its max. 🙃

You said all after, in your post bestie. Really if one day, you see the ask of too much and want to cancel the blog tell me. I’ll questioning my views and way of running this blog. As I said to the 🇫🇷 anon, before to just to yourself wait it’s too much stop this blog is annoying me. Sent me nicely a DM or ask.

For the 🇫🇷 anon, you’ve the right to say “meuf qu’est-ce que t’as foutu ! T’as merdé. Là c’est trop. Et rajouter un meme d’Amélie Neten alors là je vais bien comprendre.” 😂

Enfaite, le problème et la blessure très clairement que j’ai eu quand j’ai essayé d’expliquer ces tweets. C’est la nonchalance des gens et des personnes internationales qui pensaient savoir mieux que moi ce que cela signifiait, alors qu’ils n’ont aucune idée de ce que cela signifie et sont incapable d’écouter quelqu’un qui a été au cœur des choses. Alors que pour Kelly ou d’autres wags, c’est une cacophonie et un cancel à tout va. Mais ici, rien. Pendant que moi j’étais sidérée qu’elle ait liké cela genre vraiment, j’ai eu des gens en mode arrête ton cinéma.

Genre vraiment, la française casse-couilles qui nous soûlent avec ses manifestations. Alors qu’elle aurait pu liké tellement d’autres choses, tellement d’autres lois. J’aurais dit, je déteste mais ces opinions, ses problèmes.

Ici, non. Elle a liké un contexte, une politique d’un gouvernement dictatorial qui a tabassé et gazer son peuple avec des armes de guerre. Pendant, qu’elle était à Paris à se pavaner au Louvre et profiter de ce système, et liké des tweets qui ne l’a concerneront jamais. Entant que français ou française, vous n’imaginez pas combien c’est blessant de voir Charles s’affilier à ça. Et qu’en plus, il les accumulent en ce moment.

Un jour, je ferais un vrai post, sur pourquoi idolâtrer cette fille entant que jolie influenceuse discrète francophone et très mauvais et entant que français on a vraiment envie de taper ces gens.

Surtout ceux qui nous disent de mettre sous le tapis et de skipper, c’est comme si vous me demandiez d’oublier les actes de Kelly et de continuer à la soutenir parce qu’elle est avec Max. C’est exactement au même niveau. Je l’avais dit à l’époque, je peux vous montrais des personnes âgées, en plein Paris, à Bordeaux, à Nice, à Toulouse et toutes les grandes et petites villes de France qui se sont fait tabassées. C’est un miracle qu’il n’y ait pas eu de morts.

Oui, je reste très passionnée sur ce sujet parce qu’il signifie tellement pour les français et c’est une réelle déchirure. Elle n’a pas liké ça entant que parodie, sinon je l’aurais su. Au début quand on m’a dit que le premier tweet était parodique, j’étais “mince j’ai fait une erreur” et on m’a montré le deuxième. Et là j’ai compris. Elle se foutait ouvertement des pauvres.

Vous adulez une Kelly au final, et les gens n’arrivent même pas à le voir parce qu’elle l’a joué très fine et qu’elle a un compte insta privé.

[flovverworks]

"Does the cat thing like pets?" They're crouched near it, with their one good eye balefully staring up at the person who bears a matching given name to themself: the posture of their widespread legs clashing with the soft, pink frills of today's skirt, their untamed hair framing their silhouette in a clumsy veil. "I didn't get one of these. Never had a cat either, so I figured I'd ask."

It's not a thing, they want to defend, but the words stay in their heart. Squirming and grasping, hooked onto a feeling of inevitability they hadn't felt in a long, long time. Yet, if they were to say it, this person might understand. A fumbled mess of you are me and I am you that Akira couldn't really grasp their head around, didn't know if they should grasp their head around. The possibilities and choices of life and curiosity as to what this person had been through to adopt a demeanor so different from their own (a part of them wished they could be as confident), would they think it as well? Hello, who are you.

Neither of them had had a cat and that made them kind of sad, because cats were cute, and as much as they wanted one, the realistic aspects of it never worked out. In another world, in another life, I'd like to have a cat, and with this, with meeting them, maybe that did exist somewhere. But they didn't recognize the sacri-something. So, then, it hadn't been created yet? Or was never going to be created? For a brief moment, their breathing turns shaky. Regardless of which was true, the experiences was different, and another thing could be piled on the list of their differences. Maybe they should both talk about what they know, maybe then what was foretold could be averted. …They should bring that suggestion to Oz later and see what he thought of it. It was worth a try.

In the end, they didn't even share names.

"It does", and while they're positive of it, they still speak slowly, averting their eyes from said being. How lucky, Sakitty, that another person can give you love.

...

It's just that, this feels like lying.

"That...cat", they can't call it a thing, "is a sacri...something, I forgot the name... Snow and White made it for me", they start explaining, not looking for understanding, but because being withheld information hurts. They can't do that someone who, like them, are working so hard to help their wizards. "It's meant to take the hit, if I get hurt", surprisingly, the words are said without hesitation.

But not once did they look at it.

[gaoau]

"anything else?"

tell your dog i said hi warnings — none. word count — 1.0k

prev. — next.

sachirou never knew that his precious puppy showing up with a cut underneath his fur could excite him. he wonders how, in the short span of a few minutes he was left unsupervised, koutarou managed to slash his own skin open. it would seem as though the universe has aligned for sachirou, manifesting every excuse possible so he can drop by his safe haven again. he's definitely taking advantage of the circumstances, and although a quiet, piercing voice in the back of his head insists this is wrong of him, he chooses to indulge himself in the overflowing sense of peace he can find in a small place such as the local vet. he finds comfort in many different places, but a particular aspect of the veterinary draws him closer with much more vigor than the textbooks scattered on his desk or the stone fence along the rode with too many memories attached.

it's a thursday—he's unbelievably overjoyed to find it's a thursday. koutarou wags his tail at the threshold when he sets off in a sprint. before he can ponder over the forces of nature and the shape of his existence, he's already grasping the handle of the building's door. the bell chimes above him to announce his entrance at the same time his eyes instinctively dart towards the counter.

it's this particular aspect of the atmosphere he can't help but crawl back to; a warm person who shares the same amount of love, if not more, he feels towards animals. it's an understanding, a gentle embrace of acceptance, of finding a place to belong after tirelessly searching for so long. mistakes pile up and create mountains of concern behind him, yet just a glance towards the volunteer girl he met two weeks ago can make all of them crumble into dust.

sachirou sees her scribbling down on some papers, punching numbers into a scientific calculator—probably the only one she has because she needs it for school. there's one other person aside from them two, bouncing their leg anxiously on the waiting benches. it's with sympathizing eyes that he casts his gaze back to the girl handling finances behind the counter. his shadow is looming over her but she seems too engrossed in chewing her pen to realize she's got company. a chuckle tumbles off sachirou's lips as he rings the bell by the bottle of hand sanitizer.

her posture straightens on pure instinct when the chiming of the bell pierces into her ears. her wide stare shoots upwards behind the frame of her glasses, but it softens almost instantly upon recognizing his familiar face. the smile tugging at her lips is charming and welcoming, not jarringly practiced as the polite gestures she's forced to offer left and right to seem professional. "welcome back, how can i help you today?" she crosses out wrong numbers on the papers and sets her pen down to give him her full attention.

"he says hi today, too." the way she laughs lightly at his comment despite having heard it before makes him wish for routine. his smile mirrors hers with equal brimming adoration for the same dog—she's never met koutarou, but she doesn't need to; owners are the same as their pets, and she's seen enough to confirm this statement. sachirou leans over the counter in a childish fit of proximity. "he also got himself a cut. i don't think i need to bring him in, but i'd like to make sure it doesn't get infected."

worry flashes over her features for a brief moment as she mumbles, "oh, of course." he's never met anyone that cares about other's animals as much as she's expressing. he hears her knees pop when she rises from her stool, proof of how long she's been sitting and working. from the array of products on the shelves behind her, she's quick to choose a long box without even glancing at the label. when she presents it to him to give him the final say, sachirou recognizes the printed words as ointment. "clean up the fur with some warm water and put this guy on. works like a charm, trust me." then she gives him a nonchalant shrug, "you can bandage it if you think he'll lick it off, but he should be fine with just this."

he hands the box back to her with a nod, "thanks, you're a life-saver."

she lets her hands unconsciously take care of ringing up and bagging the ointment as she meets his gaze with sparkling eyes. "that's my job," she lilts with a chirping tone so refreshing to caress his ears. she sets the bagged product on the counter and pushes out her practiced, "anything else?"

"yes," the words leap off his tongue before he can consider them a mistake, "can i get your name?"

he sees the way her brows rise into her forehead in surprise and names it cute in the depths of his mind. her smile only enlarges when she rips the ticket off the register. she motions him to grab the cardboard bag and simultaneously offers him her outstretched hand. "[surname] [name], pleasure to formally meet you."

"hirugami sachirou." he finds fascinating the way [name]'s fingers fit so comfortably around his, warm and careful of every life they are trusted with. she's surely made plenty of mistakes with those hands that so securely wrap around his own with gentleness and adoration, yet they carry on, not to forget but to make up for all they failed to achieve. he feels the scars on his knuckles fading as the cool breeze grazes his cheeks when he opens the door.

"thank you for your patronage, hirugami-san!" she calls from her place at the counter. her voice is louder than the chiming bell above his head. "tell your dog i said hi." he waves his hand over his shoulder as he exits the vet. he'll tell koutarou all about [surname] [name] again today.

[itiswellpsychotherapy]

Important Self-Reflection Questions You Need to Ask Yourself to Boost Your Growth

Hey Friends,

Self-reflection and awareness are fundamental components of personal growth 🌱. As we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, our values, and our thought processes, we can create meaningful change in our lives. By regularly engaging in self-reflection, we can gain insights that empower us to make informed decisions and navigate difficult situations more effectively.

In times of uncertainty or challenge, asking yourself the following questions can provide mental clarity and guide you toward growth and self-improvement:

1. What are the things I can focus on that are in my control? 🎯 Identifying and concentrating on aspects of a situation that you can influence can help you maintain a sense of agency, reduce stress, and encourage proactive problem-solving.

It empowers individuals to take charge of their lives and make tangible progress towards their goals. By directing your energy towards manageable aspects of a situation, you can experience a sense of agency and reduce feelings of helplessness.

Concentrating on what is within your control enhances efficiency and productivity. It enables you to allocate your time and resources wisely, and not wasting energy on things you can't influence.

Emphasizing what's controllable promotes emotional well-being. It can reduce anxiety, as individuals are less preoccupied with external factors beyond their grasp. Instead, you can focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and maintaining a positive mindset, which can (and will) ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

2. What assumptions am I making in this situation? 🧐 Recognizing the assumptions underlying your thoughts and actions can help you avoid making decisions based on unfounded beliefs, allowing for a more balanced perspective.

Making unfounded assumptions can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and even conflicts, as it often involves jumping to conclusions about others' intentions or perspectives.

By refraining from assumptions, you can promote open-mindedness, empathy, and active listening. People who do this are more likely to ask questions, seek clarification, and approach conversations with a genuine desire to comprehend others' viewpoints. This practice not only improves relationships but also helps in making well-informed decisions based on accurate information rather than biased presumptions. In both personal and professional contexts, avoiding assumptions is a key to better communication and more harmonious interactions.

3. What have been the most significant good experiences in my life? What do they have in common, and how can I experience more of them? 🌟 By reflecting on your most meaningful positive experiences, you can identify patterns and commonalities that can guide you toward a more fulfilling life.

Doing this fosters a more optimistic and positive mindset, which in turn can reduce stress and improve mental health. By acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life, you can experience increased happiness, life satisfaction, and enhance resilience

It equips you with the ability to cope with challenges more effectively, because you are better equipped to find silver linings in difficult situations. This resilience can lead to greater personal growth and adaptability.

Focusing on the good also has a ripple effect on relationships. It promotes gratitude and encourages acts of kindness, which can strengthen social bonds and create a more supportive and harmonious community. Overall, emphasizing the positive aspects of life can lead to a more fulfilling, joyful, and emotionally rewarding existence.

4. How are my actions aligning with my values & goals? 🗺️ Ensuring that your actions are in harmony with your core values can lead to a greater sense of satisfaction and motivation, as well as improved overall well-being.

Identify Your Values: Start by reflecting on your values. What matters most to you? Is it family, honesty, creativity, or social justice? Make a list of your core values. (Set up a coaching session with me to work deeply on this! I got you!)

Prioritize Your Values: Rank your values in order of importance. This helps you clarify what takes precedence when making choices.

Set Goals in Line with Your Values: Create personal and professional goals that reflect your values. Whether it's pursuing a career that aligns with your passion or dedicating more time to family, ensure your goals resonate with your values.

Make Informed Decisions: When faced with choices, use your values as a compass. Ask yourself how each option aligns with your core principles, and make decisions that honor your values.

Practice Self-Awareness: Regularly assess your actions and behavior. Are they consistent with your values? Self-reflection is key to living in harmony with your beliefs.

Communicate Your Values: Share your values with those close to you. This helps others understand your motivations and can lead to more meaningful connections.

Be Patient and Persistent: Living in line with your values may require sacrifices or facing challenges. Stay committed and resilient, as the journey can be rewarding and fulfilling.

Adapt and Evolve: Values can change or evolve over time. Be open to reevaluating and adjusting your values as your life circumstances and perspectives change.

5. What am I afraid of doing that I know I should? What will happen if I put this off for another 1, 5, or 10 years? ⏳ Confronting your fears and considering the long-term consequences of inaction can provide the impetus needed to make critical changes and pursue growth opportunities.

Taking healthy risks in life is essential for personal growth and pursuing your dreams. It involves stepping out of your comfort zone to seize opportunities, challenge yourself, and explore uncharted territory. Healthy risk-taking often leads to new experiences, skill development, and increased self-confidence, as you discover what you're truly capable of. It's a powerful reminder that life's most rewarding achievements often lie just beyond the boundaries of fear, encouraging you to chase your aspirations and live a more fulfilling and authentic life. So, don't let fear hold you back; instead, embrace the exhilaration of taking risks to go after what you truly desire.

6. How do I want to be remembered? 🏅 Contemplating your legacy can help clarify your priorities, inspire you to make a positive impact, and foster a sense of purpose in your life. Live a life worth living!

Send this blog link to at least 2 people you care about so that they can have a chance to increase their wellness too! 🔌✨

Stay connected with mehere.

[toniatrujillo]

5 Signs You've Found the Ideal Tutor for Your Learning Needs

Are you tired of watching your child struggle with their homework every night? The nightly battles over algebra problems or English essays can be frustrating and emotionally draining for you and your child. You've tried helping, but it's been years since you've studied these subjects, and let's be honest, some of the material might as well be written in another language.

The stress from this constant struggle affects academic performance and family dynamics. Your child starts losing confidence, you find yourself at the end of your patience, and the household tension reaches an all-time high. Homework time becomes a stressful ordeal that everyone dreads, and you can't help but wonder if this will have long-term consequences on your child's future. Failing grades, low self-esteem, and an increasing dislike for anything academic start becoming the norm rather than the exception.

This is where finding the ideal tutor comes into play. A qualified, experienced tutor understands precisely how to address these issues. They take the time to assess your child's unique learning style, strengths, and weaknesses. They tailor their approach to fit your child's needs and turn difficult subjects into understandable, even enjoyable, experiences. And it's not just about improving grades—though that's a significant part! A great tutor boosts confidence, reinstates a love for learning, and brings peace back into your home. When you find a tutor who can do all this, you're not just solving a homework problem but investing in your child's future.

1. Personalized Learning Approach

You wouldn't wear shoes that don't fit, right? The same logic applies to tutoring. One size does not fit all when it comes to education. A fantastic tutor recognizes this and designs a tailored teaching approach for you. No more generic worksheets or rote memorization drills; your tutor should take the time to assess your unique learning style, strengths, and weaknesses.

Do they adapt their explanations based on what makes the material click for you? Do they use tools and resources that engage you the most? If the answer is yes, then you've found a keeper. A case in point could be a Math tutor who understands you're a visual learner and starts using diagrams or educational software that helps you grasp complex equations.

2. Excellent Communication Skills

Remember, tutoring isn't a one-way street. Sure, the tutor imparts knowledge, but communication should be mutual. Good tutors don't just talk; they listen. They ask questions to ensure you understand the material, and they pay attention to your answers.

Clear instructions, concise explanations, and constructive feedback show that your tutor communicates well. They should make you feel comfortable enough to ask questions, make mistakes, and learn from them. Excellent communication builds a learning environment where you absorb information and actively participate in your education.

3. Expertise in the Subject Matter

It sounds like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised how often people overlook this aspect when they try to find a tutor. Subject-matter expertise isn't just about having a degree or certification, though those are essential. Your tutor should also keep up-to-date with the latest developments in the field and translate this knowledge into more effective teaching methods.

Take, for example, a tutor who specializes in SAT preparation. They should be aware of the subjects covered and the recent changes in the exam format, scoring methodology, and effective test-taking strategies. This level of expertise takes your learning from basic to exceptional.

4. Flexibility in Scheduling and Teaching Methods

Life happens. You may have soccer practice, a part-time job, or a dentist's appointment that you can't reschedule. An ideal tutor understands that you have a life outside of your learning sessions and offers flexibility in scheduling.

But flexibility shouldn't stop at the timetable. The tutor should also adapt their teaching methods based on what they find most effective. You may benefit more from hands-on exercises than theoretical explanations or prefer digital resources over traditional textbooks. Whatever the case, a flexible approach to teaching is a significant indicator that you're in good hands.

5. Positive Reviews and Testimonials

Before you hire anyone these days, what's the first thing you do? Check their reviews, of course! The same should go for when you're trying to find a tutor. Real feedback from previous students can provide invaluable insights into a tutor's effectiveness, reliability, and overall teaching style.

It's one thing for a tutor to tell you they're amazing—it's another to hear it from someone who has been in your shoes. Positive reviews and testimonials aren't just about boasting high scores; they should reflect the tutor's ability to adapt, communicate, and make a meaningful difference in their students' lives.

Conclusion

And there you have five tell-tale signs that you've found the ideal tutor. Education is a personal journey; having the right guide can make all the difference. So don't settle for just any tutor when trying to find one that's right for you. Keep these signs in mind, and you're sure to find someone who helps you achieve academic success and makes the learning process an enjoyable experience.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. How do I initially assess if a tutor might fit me well?

Consider scheduling a trial session or consultation before committing to a long-term tutoring relationship. This will allow you to gauge their teaching style, communication skills, and expertise.

2. What should I do if I think my current tutor could be a better match?

It's essential to have open communication with your tutor. If the tutoring sessions aren't meeting your expectations, be honest and discuss your concerns. If things don't improve, it may be time to search for a new tutor.

3. Can online tutors be as effective as in-person tutors?

Absolutely! The effectiveness of tutoring largely depends on the quality of the tutor and the teaching methods they employ. Many people find that online tutoring offers more flexibility and access to a broader range of expertise than they might find locally.

So the next time you find yourself on the quest to find a tutor, remember the perfect one for you is just around the corner. Happy learning!

[zhangsanjian]

Talent

Original Essay

Talent refers to a person's innate performance in a certain aspect beyond the normal level. It is a special ability bestowed by God, and it is also a precious gift given to us by God. Everyone wants this gift, the one-in-a-million, exceptional talent.

Our parents will place this kind of expectation on their children. For example, my child is talented in reading and ranks among the best in grades; My child is socially gifted and eloquent, and often represents the school in various speech competitions; my child is gifted in drawing, lifelike, and always gets good results in painting competitions.

In short, people with talent have a higher probability of success in the struggle of life. But there are also those who are pessimistic that they don't have any talent. In fact, in my opinion, all people have their own unique talents to varying degrees. I even think that being able to sleep soundly anytime and anywhere is also a talent. You must know that many people are facing insomnia.

Confucius said: "When three people walk together, there must be my teacher." In fact, everyone has something worth learning. Talent doesn't sometimes pop out and say, "I'm here, I'm here," it's more like a shy, withdrawn child somewhere in your heart.

Talent does not show up for no reason, or it is extremely difficult for talent to be recognized. It's like a child who is very talented in painting and eventually becomes a world-famous painter. People will say that he is really talented. But if this child fails to become a well-known painter, but engages in other industries and lives an ordinary life, is he living up to his talent? Or is he not talented enough?

You have to ask me: "What talent does Sanjian have?" I really can't seem to answer. Because the world always measures people's talent by their success in an industry. So here I want to discuss with you how to find your talent and grasp it.

I think a word that can be connected with "talent" and is very close is "love". If you love a certain career, you will have the motivation to move forward and be willing to overcome all difficulties for it. I can't imagine your talent isn't something you love. As I said before, love is the driving force of everything. Can you imagine that Beethoven didn't love music or playing the piano? Can you imagine that Van Gogh didn't love painting? Can you imagine Einstein not liking physics? I foolishly think that talent shows that you love something enough, imagine that your talent is not the direction you love, what a sad story that is.

Another possibility is that you don't know or recognize your talent, and you need a guide to lead you to find it. This is "Maxima often exists, but Bole does not often exist", you need a Bole who knows people and supports you.

Often the task of helping us find our talents falls to our parents, and family education is especially important during childhood and adolescence. Parents should give their children more room to choose, instead of forcing them to study extracurricular subjects that they are not interested in. It is difficult to find a way to show their talents. It's more about seeing what the child likes? What are you interested in? What are you willing to spend time on? Maybe you are not talented enough in this area, but you are willing to put in the time, and I think half the battle is done.

Secondly, this heavy responsibility will be passed on to the teachers. Teaching and educating people is to help us broaden our future path in our youth. We have heard too many stories of this sacred profession, the teacher is the one who leads us to grope in the dark cave with the oil lamp. So finding that fiery impulse is the first step to finding talent.

The 10,000-hour rule is a law pointed out by the writer Gladwell in his book "Outliers". "The genius in people's eyes is not extraordinary, but the continuous hard work. Ten thousand hours of tempering is a necessary condition for anyone to become a world-class master from ordinary people." He called this "The 10,000-hour rule". To become an expert in a certain field, it takes 10,000 hours (1.1415525 years), which is calculated proportionally: if you work eight hours a day, five days a week, then it takes at least five years to become an expert in a field.

The most talented sprinter in the world cannot win the honor of Olympic champion without hard training day after day. Just like a flower cannot bloom unless you water it. Use sweat to water your talent, and talent will eventually bloom.

When we find talent, it is more important to cherish our own talent. At this time, someone may refute me, I spent 10,000 hours on one thing, I spent 99% of my efforts, why I didn't see my talent, or I didn't succeed. Then I think 10,000 hours is just a foundation, and what is more important is learning, thinking, and improving. Effort does not necessarily lead to success. Effort only gives you a chance to succeed. If you don't work hard, you will definitely not succeed. If you are just complaining that I have spent 10,000 hours and haven't achieved what we want, then go back to the first question, do you love it. I think if I spend 10,000 hours doing something I like, I think I should be happier, and I will think of ways to do it better. Just like I insist on writing now, I am not saying that I want to be a writer or a novelist, but this thing makes me feel comfortable and makes me realize the meaning of life and life. When I express my emotions and thoughts through words When I come out, I will have a very magical experience and a sense of accomplishment. Here I also hope that you can find a corner that you love and feel comfortable in your work.

I don't know if you have read Wang Anshi's "Injury to Zhongyong". The original gifted child prodigy has become an ordinary person. When we were young, we often saw stories about gifted teenagers who were admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University at a young age. We saw the beginning of the story, but did not witness the end of the miracle. It is regrettable and unwilling to waste talent, which is why people always measure talent by success, and talent also needs to be persistent.

"Finding one's talent is where one's love lies. Only by working hard and persevering will there be a moment of blooming."

The last thing I want to discuss with you is, what will you do with your talents? Just like I wrote this article, if it can inspire the talents of readers, it is really a great act of kindness. I hope that while I think, I also lead everyone to think together, which can be regarded as relaxation. For example, Olympic athletes win glory for the country, and violinists bring people an unparalleled concert, as if I am listening to Beethoven's piano music when I am writing now.

The ancient and modern sages have used their talents to change our living environment and accept the influence of art. Similarly, our modern people are also benefiting future generations. We should use our talents to give back to the society and the country.

Here I suddenly thought of another topic, because we always say that "the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility", and the more outstanding the talent, the more burdens. Everyone should know that "Heaven is jealous of talents". Extraordinary talents will bring more expectations, and amazing creations may come from unimaginable suffering. You must know that God has given you such a great gift, you must be able to accept it and bear its weight. I hope that all gifted people can bear the burden of life, use their talents and talents to make due contributions to our motherland and society, burn our youth, and realize the value of our lives.

[americanphysco]

for me interview with the vampire where i saw two men closer than friends on the screen. This is why I loved it so much. Growing up in a very oppressive christian-conservative southern home, Interview with the vampire was a taste of escape and freedom, a look into a different world where two men could raise a child, and fight, and love,and be ..them. The grapple between humanity and monstrous nature of being a vampire really spoke to me deeply, as I fought with what I was raised to think and what I felt.

All in all, this is what I love about IWTV, and what I watch over and over for. It gives me a feeling of escape and freedom.

I guess I can understand getting attached to it at a young age but I feel as though the racism and the pedophilic elements are so deeply ingrained in the story itself that you cannot separate them from the narrative. like if you're very young and desperate I could understand (a little bit. not much) overlooking questionable elements because you're blindsided by the need for validation, but I don't see how an adult can revisit the film just as fondly. I'm not saying this to attack you or claim you're a bad person, but I cannot grasp how you can watch something this flawed and not feel gross by the themes present in the film. honestly if you're looking for a queer vampire film to take comfort in that explores tragedy and desperation id recommend the hunger 1983. it has an explicitly wlw relationship and does an excellent job making commentary on vampirism. and david bowie doesn't prey on black women.

and also the part about being faced with one's own monstrosity is interesting, but that theme falls flat for me when you remember that brad pitt plays a wealthy slaveowner. I can't sympathize with a man who has inflicted so much violence on people while alive, and I can't understand why he's suddenly against harming others now that he's a vampire. like I know he never killed his slaves, but isn't imprisoning ppl, forcing labor upon them, and using physical violence as punishment for disobedience a date worse than death? isn't that even less humane? for me at least a film like ginger snaps explores these themes so much better. the entire story is centered around a teenage girl and her struggle with embracing her inner monster and grappling with her moral compass while using lycanthropy as a vehicle to do so. it's much easier to relate to ginger as well because she doesn't end up kissing her adoptive daughter by the end of the film :/

I just don't think I can ever really get why this film resonates with people. like in theory I get how the messages the movie is trying (and failing) to portray would hit close to home, but I really don't know how you can look past the film's racist aspects. like I said before, maybe when you were younger it'd make more sense, but as an adult I feel like you could find better movies to supplement these desires.

wait id also like to add that being young doesn't justify enjoying racist movies. if you're old enough to recognize your own queerness you're old enough to be grossed out by the framing of woc within the film.

[dgrif]

no but its actually WILD how many aspects there are to being gay that straight people will never ever consider, and then they get so offended when we say that they won't ever understand us. like when i say straight people cannot write gay characters, i mean all they're capable of doing is writing a vague concept they can only conceptualize by comparing it to heterosexuality. they have no concept of what the Process of realizing you're gay in a heteronormative world actually is.

they don't understand how so many gay people have no attachment to "traditional" styles of doing things, because everything about our existences challenges the norms, and we spend a lot of time analyzing what is considered normal, why it is, and whether we want to comply with it. its why so many of us dye our hair, get piercings, have tattoos, have alternative or "ugly" or flamboyant fashion styles, why many are gnc.

they have no clue what seperates a highly common experience that is replicated due to this Process, and what's just a stereotype. they have no clue what parts are common because of experience, and what's adopted because of gay culture and wanting to signal to other community members.

they focus on "oh but how do gay people participate in this heterosexual norm activity?" without ever stopping to consider that most of us wouldn't, or at least not in a traditional way. they'll ask "but who walks down the aisle?" before considering that gay people might just plan a wedding that isn't formatted for straight people.

and straight people will never. EVER understand coming out. they will never understand why we do or don't do it. they will never understand the impact it has on us rather than on other people. they will never look at it and go "maybe this is not the most important part of a gay person's experience," like it isn't for many of us, because its the part that actively involves straight people, so to their perceptions, its the most important part.

they have absolutely 0 understanding of how little WE relate to THEM and how we really do not find ourselves as the only existing queer person in a large group of cishets - that mostly we find each other because community and support are crucial and that we recognize each other in ways they could never, and we relate to each other in ways they cannot provide. they don't realize that they do not have gaydars, and instead can only read stereotypes or purposeful signalling or even hallmarks of being social outcasts - because they could never tell a femme from a staight woman, nor would they even grasp the difference, if things like lesbian earrings weren't memed about to tell them what to look for.

how many straight people think about the consistent emotional impact of growing up waiting and wondering if and when your family will reject or judge you? not just in the instance of "coming out," but a whole lifetime, straight on through your developmental periods.

how many straight people know that sometimes parents can be "accepting" of queerness, but still reject their child on a basis of them disappointing their expectations, from "ruining" the image they had of their child based on gender, to them not ever providing them grandkids? how many of them even have a concept of casual homophobia, and the little things that make life difficult, that mostly they seem not to be aware of, rather than viewing homophobia and acceptance as a black and white reality?

do they have any idea of how we're differently affected by things like religious trauma, sexual assault, domestic abuse, addictions, and mental illness, and the fact that we experience those things at higher rates, and why?

there's a million and one things that make being gay a different experience that they can't even begin to think about - which is why their gay characters read as srupidly one dimensional, but their "straight" characters they've made traumatized and "quirky" have a whole ass build that reads as queerbait. and they do not get why.

[foxymoxynoona]

Hi, me again 😶

I appreciate the lengthy answer you gave my ask. (I obviously can't read the tone through text, but you didn't seem as annoyed as i thought you might be(?) so that's a lowkey win for me actually explaining why i sent the first ask(?) Lol)

Also yeah, no, i wasn't 'cockblocked'. Amended isn't a fic i go to for that kind of instant gratification :) Out of all four, it was the only one i actually wanted to read at first (only followed by TL, but not soon after) And it wasn't for the sex, I read the tags.

With that out of the way,

I tried thoroughly answering your answer (lol) but I kept running in circles and not being able to properly articulate what I'm thinking, so I'm just going to write a shorter version :)

I think it does eventually come down to what you said about Amended being intended more for readers who personally relate than for those who don't.

While I've obviously had certain negative life experiences, i doubt they can be seen as traumatic. Or if they can, they're nowhere near Isabella's level. I suppose i've also had different coping mechanisms than her so that's probably another one of the reasons I didn't think all of her reactions were justified. It's all a question of whether it made sense to me or not. Did jk's behavior look faultless to me? No. But I could understand jk's p.o.v more than hers, even if he was wrong in some of his assumptions and didn't voice them calmly. Sometimes I wish they could read each other's minds..

I did, however, understand the analogies you made and they did give me a better understanding of why she acts the way she does.

Honestly I was surprised there even was another sex scene in this chapter. Thought they'd talk about it properly before attempting again. But noPe :) I'm rather apprehensive about the date and how Jungkook's.. "plans" are going to go, considering everything..

------------------

I do appreciate you truthfully picturing the process of her overcoming parts of her past trauma and learning that it's okay to trust someone again. It's just quite difficult to grasp the depth and gravity of her trauma from an.. "outsider" 's perspective 😅

-👀

Hello again 👀!

First, I do want to apologize that my joke about being cockblocked sounds like it landed poorly. I had not read your initial comment as being very serious (since it just said you were annoyed with Isabella) so I responded in what I understand the tone to be. I'm sorry I misunderstood that initial ask!

Second of all, I'm not annoyed! I find and hope all these discussions are actually useful for anyone reading. Mental health is a big, huge aspect of life that I just feel like is so poorly represented or discussed. I have had serious anxiety all my life (without even knowing it! I thought that's just how everyone's brain worked!) but when I had my first major depressive episode, I remember after I was out of it being like: holy shit. I did not understand what depression was before this! Even now, it's hard for me to fully recall how utterly potato I was because it seems impossible that I was that way but I was! Our brains map the world and our place in it, and it can be challenging to get into the head of someone whose brain functions very differently than our own. So that's all to say, I think talking about these things is valuable to broaden our own understanding of ourselves and the people around us who navigate the world differently than we may.

One thing I think is worth pointing out in this story too that hasn't actually come up tonight: JK in this story also has trauma. And he also went through a period of deep pain that caused him to isolate himself and hurt the people around him badly. And his traumas still influence how he behaves. Isabella is his first "real" relationship. Remember how hurt Miranda was when he committed to her without committing to her?? And then didn't tell her he'd fucking gotten MARRIED? We just are seeing JK further along in his healing journey because he has been in a safe, loving, supportive place for far longer than Isabella has, and he always had family love and support, even at his worst (in high school when he really hurt Isabella). Isabella didn't have that. She has been alone and is now having to learn how to function without being in survival mode all the time. It may be worth everyone remembering that this isn't a story where JK stumbled into what is definitely a relationship with someone only starting to process intense trauma. He went into this eyes wide open, and with his own experience helping him understand the fear, and the loneliness. He's not actually a saint, he's just been through something similar and he understands (at least a little) and he loves her.

As for coping mechanisms, that's another good point: they're different for everyone and just like love languages, we can most easily understand behavior similar to our own. I love learning more about the way people work, and I hope my stories can help readers learn more beyond their own experiences or patterns as well, like how to recognize other love languages or coping or defense mechanisms.

Jimin actually called JK out on one of his this chapter: "you'll have sex with her before you love her because you're confident about sex." Is it worth thinking how different this story might be if Jungkook had been honest with Isabella at any point in their relationship about the love and guilt and regret he has from how he treated her when they were younger? Maybe not, but maybe!

And finally, as for sex: I had actually expected a lot of people to be upset about them having sex before they'd resolved more, haha. Because it's totally fair to theorize they jumped the gun getting physical! But they did it! Because they're horny for each other! It was a big step forward though before they were really ready to talk about some of the Big Feelings that might come up for either of them. They are a couple that tends to take a big leap and then scramble to figure out wtf they just did

Anyway, hope all this gives some more food for thought!

[thetwominuteshate-blog]

Hello, cruel world.

I am exhausted with living on this earth.

I could throw literary quotes at you. I could tell you that society at large has become what the dystopian science fiction authors of yesteryear predicted it would. I could start this blog with a call to arms, urging you to riot in the streets and tear down the prison we've built for ourselves.

But the truth is I'm just tired. I'm tired of constantly living in fear. I'm tired of feeling no connection with the world around me. I'm tired of seeing so much suffering that spans continents, in "the greatest nation in the world", while criminals look down on us with derision from their ivory towers. I am tired of feeling as though, no matter what I do, my decisions are of no consequence. I'm tired of the world slowly eroding me until there is nothing good left in me. I'm tired of feeling alone, and I am so, so tired of seeing the world as it could be--as it SHOULD be--and always coming up so short I can't even see the finish line.

I've been rejecting the reality I've found myself in for far too long, escaping into worlds of my own making or the worlds others have created for the sake of escaping my own despair. But it doesn't have to be this way. I still reject this reality, the efficient brutality of a race that has been born into an environment so unforgiving that we fail to put our own violent natures behind us. I reject the notion that the world cannot improve. I have had enough.

Those of you who have read George Orwell's 1984 might remember the Two Minutes Hate. For those of you who haven't or have forgotten, the Two Minutes' Hate is a daily ritual put in place by a maddeningly restrictive government with the intention of directing the fear and anger of common individuals living in such a repressive society by placing them in front of a television screen that projects images of whomever the Party deems is an enemy. The Other. When I first read it, this excerpt in particular stood out to me:

"The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp."

These days, most of what I see in the media is the Two Minutes Hate. Talking heads on two dimensional screens telling us who we should hate. Vicious propaganda that those who lack the will to fight the ones keeping them locked in misery buy into wholeheartedly. Instead of directing their rage at the ones responsible, people punch down, ostracizing people less fortunate than them.

But this isn't the reason why I chose to name this blog after the Two Minutes Hate. Because hate is a funny thing--when we don't let it eat away at us, it gives us the strength to fight without abandon. It causes us to reduce things to rubble and burn the remains so there is no trace of its existence. It can be a powerful tool. But it is fire, and most of us, if not all, aren't well enough equipped with the knowledge to know which things are worth burning.

I've been filled with hate nearly for as long as I can remember. Full disclosure: I'm a 27-year-old white, bisexual cis male. For most of my life I lived in a small town and have largely kept myself in seclusion due to bullying throughout my childhood into my teen years. I only recently became aware of the deepening aspects of my sexuality, but over the years I've faced baseless accusations of homosexuality to the point that a cowardly bully had his friend fight me. As a result, I faced suspension. My school district, like most, put on a public face that disavowed bullying, but enabled it when it occurred. The culture I was surrounded by swam in toxic masculinity, boys that pretended to be men through the ownership of trucks flying the Confederate flag and other meaningless, superficial displays of their own insecurities. My "community", which is so very important to conservative culture, treated me like a stubborn weed long before I could even grasp cruelty. I felt suffocated, unable to flourish because there was always someone watching my every move. As a result, I've come to loathe authority in all its forms.

That's just backstory, though. Over the years I've come to realize that my circumstances were relatively fortunate. I'm privileged; people have been murdered over the merest suspicion that they might be gay. There are people who face severe bullying on a near-daily basis, and that's in this country alone. The atrocities committed in our world's history dwarf mine to a subatomic level. I've had friends who have been raped, faced child and domestic abuse, and even now are in circumstances far more dire than my own. It's no longer for my own sake that I hate, it's for those who are beaten down and cannot fight back, whether on an individual or cultural basis.

I'm not here to play white, straight(ish) savior. In fact, I wouldn't even consider myself to be an ordinary person. I am on the verge of mental instability--for years I've felt the effects of severe depression, which is finally in check. For a time I was so suicidal that I abused substances on a daily basis because the only calming thoughts I had in sobriety were of my own death. I have a deep desire to hurt and destroy, to get back at the world that I feel cut me open and left me to bleed out. I'm a sadist and a masochist in the BDSM scene. I have twisted fantasies that run so deeply to my core and no outlet for them outside of the scene. I want to make others suffer for the injustices they inflict upon those who are undeserving of pain. Because whoever came up with the idiom, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" should have been tortured without cause, broken by suffering that held no ultimate meaning. Then he'd have a greater grasp on the state of the reality as it is.

Hate is addictive. Orwell was right; it spreads like a wildfire, and it's impossible not to be caught in the blaze yourself unless you sequester yourself with comfort and ignorance. And turning a blind eye to the problems others face, whether it's next door or on the other side of the globe, is possibly worse. Until now, I've feared the repercussions of acting against authority, the odds of my successful retribution stacked heavily against me. Even now, I fear the things I will express will draw fire from all sides, so I'm shielding myself through an anonymity browser in order to ward off potential enemies, whether they are a collective agency like the NSA or some alt-right IT cunt with internet access. Those of us in the United States have been officially granted a right to free speech, but we live in an era in which seizing that right can go so far as to get you killed, especially if you call for progress and your voice is heard by millions.

But my end goal is not society's complete collapse. There are pieces of this world worth preserving. I may only be useful for tearing things down, but someday I hope someone will build them back up into something better that works for all people. I long to help individuals understand that all people are just that--people. Not secondary or tertiary characters in your life, good-or-evil projections onto a screen for you to scream at. It's this mentality that causes entire populations to suffer, and I know my work will never be done until the most marginalized find a place in society.

But this is not a call to empathy. Part of recognizing each other's humanity is holding each other accountable for their actions. I believe no person can be perfectly good--we all do terrible things, myself thoroughly included--but there are those of us who are so mindlessly destructive in their actions that I honestly believe the world would be better off without them. This quality of malignance does not discriminate between race, gender, or age. We are among self-made monsters on a daily basis, and they deserve as much sympathy as they dole out.

Words without action are meaningless. I don't intend to sit here and tell y'all to start a French-style bloodletting while I sit comfortably in a downtown loft. This is a time for action. This is a time for violence. This is a time to stand up against the birth of fascism in the so-called "Land of the Free". This is a time for hate.

I am Winston Smith, and this is my Two Minutes Hate. This is my war. Will you join me?

[sagebodisattva]

Epistemological Nihilism

So, next up on our explorative journey through the many forms of nihilism, we encounter epistemological nihilism. What is epistemological nihilism?

Epistemological nihilism is a form of skepticism in which all knowledge is accepted as possibly untrue or unable to be known.

And right away, you can be sure that this form of nihilism, perhaps more then any other, will make people agitated and uncomfortable. Why? Because people like certainty. People don't like the idea of not having their feet planted firmly on the ground. It helps solidify and highlight people's attachments to the known. It's a grounding stake, and a security blanket. A pacifier to help the desperate self sooth in the face of unfathomable universal mystery. It's the urge to seek the feeling of being in control, and to wield power and command by way of authoritative disambiguation, and dogmatic absolutism. This is what happens when knowledge becomes used and abused as a paraphernalia for the indulgences of certainty, safety and security.

Well, sorry Charlie. All the knowledge in the entire world compiled together into one great big expansive eclectic collection of complex intellectual understanding, is all still but a small rickety raft floating adrift, alone in the deep vast ocean of the great unknown, which is even further overshadowed by the profound and ineffable unknowable. Just as long as we keep in mind that any and all knowledge acquired only applies to the context of the little raft in the mighty sea, even, of which, is subject to constant debate, change, and perceptual reframing; then we are being more intellectually honest with ourselves. And even if there are certain truths established that could be called universal, or that have 100% consensus among all sentient life, this too is still only confined to the parameters of the little raft.

And this is why even true knowledge is untrue, because it is only true knowledge relative to the confines of a framework; even if such framework is the only framework that one has a frame of reference in, it is still only a framework nonetheless; and hence, the true knowledge is only applicable to these borders.

And this is also why even true knowledge cannot rightfully be said to be really known to be ultimately true, for one cannot say such for certain until they have made an assessment from the widest frame of reference possible, which may not even be reachable from the an individual perspective.

And also, let us not forget that, on top of all of this, and this is the sweet kicker, even the seemingly certain conclusion of uncertainty is also uncertain.

“But why?! That can't be. We already know everything there is to know about what we are and where we came from! Of course we can be certain!”

Really? C'mon now man. Really? You are looking at phenomenal content through the lens of externalizing colored glasses, and you actually think you stand some kind of chance at coming to some finalized conclusion based on your efforts of sifting through layers of appearances? All of this came from nothing; and you think you know something? This entire universe is just a grain of sand on a vast beach, and you think you have some kind of grasp of what's going on here? Well, the first thing you must come to understand, in order to understand that you really don't understand very much of anything; you are not dealing with things as they really are, but are only dealing with an appearances of things.

“How's that?”

I said, you are not dealing with things as they really are, but are really only dealing with an appearance of things. This is the minimum of what you can say you know with your acquired knowledge, if you have treated knowledge properly and examined the knowledge and the implications of the knowledge from all angles, including metaphysically. Obviously, things are not quite as they appear on the surface. If the insights of material science has shown us anything, it has shown us this. Materials are really just an assemblage of subatomic particles, which, in turn, are really just an assemblage of energy, which, in turn, is really just an assemblage of nothingness. So what knowledge to do you have, beyond a narrow sliver of information that just deals with the surface appearance?

The very senses, what we use to try to comprehend and organize our knowledge, don't even covey an accurate representation of what is actually there. What you supposedly “see”, only becomes a visual object by way of an eyeball converting energetic configurations into an apparent spatial manifestation. Same goes with what you hear, smell, taste, and touch. What you end up with, is merely an appearance of something that has much deeper hidden properties; the bottom, of which, we have not yet fully explored to understand; and yet you believe you are certain about something that is being brought to your attention via the perceptual senses? To believe as such is called naive realism. But don't misconstrue and jump to the conclusion that any of these statements are meaning to say that there is a complete impossibility of any knowledge; that isn't the point being emphasized here, but, rather, that knowledge is possible, but it is always relative, subjective, and contextual. And why is that? Well, let's look into it.

First, why relative? Well, if there would be anything considered an absolute aspect, then obviously it must be an aspect that differs from a relative aspect. If an absolute aspect isn't different then a relative aspect, then it is the same as a relative aspect, and hence relative. But if an absolute aspect is different from a relative aspect, then the absolute aspect must also be relative, for, any aspects that are different must be different in contrast to something else, and to be considered "different", means that the said aspect has to be relative to something. So there's no way around relativity. Simply put, a fact is only a fact relative to a context. And since a context has borders, anything absolute within those borders has no applicability outside the borders. And even if you wanna try and break down those borders and say they don't exist and that absolute aspects exist in infinity, you are gonna run into similar problems, for then where is infinity located? Anything that has no location surely cannot exist as we commonly know and define objectified existence. Facts surely have to have a solid context to be recognized, and to say that facts are absolute, yet have no location, which would seem to be a fundamental requirement for an object to exist, is still indicative of facts and absolutism being relative to infinity, despite its borderless configuration. But even if you chalk that up to an intentional oversight, wherein is this infinity even being recognized as an item of consideration? Ah yes. It is infinity relative to a subject. Which brings us to the second factor to look into: subjectivity.

Why subjective? Well, knowledge is only knowledge as it pertains to a subject, by both meanings of the word subject. By means of both the specific topic, and to the one who is considering the topic of knowledge. Indeed, knowledge cannot even have any meaningful existence without an existential agency to provide a foundation of such. And any such various agencies are full of their own unique perspectives regarding the information, with different degrees of perception and reasoning, which will vary from person to person, culture to culture, psychology to psychology, and position to position. And even when considering facts that subjects agree are facts, opinions and feelings about the implications of the facts can vary. Because subject A is depressed and pessimistic, he concludes that the fact that there is famine and poverty in the world means humanity should just set off a nuclear bomb and put an end to the misery, whereas be used subject B is happy and optimistic, he concludes that the fact that there is famine and poverty in the world means humanity needs to take active steps towards treating and curing these negative states. Who is right and who is wrong? Or are they both right, or both wrong? It depends on who you ask. This is the nature of subjectivity. A fact alone, which cannot be recognized without a subject, does not carry any inherent prescript concerning its handling, that is not also based in subjectivity. Even absolute laws or universal truths, if such a thing were even possible, are only so relative to a subject. So there's no way around subjectivity either. And lastly, of course, all knowledge is contextual.

So why contextual? Well, this is closely related to relativity and subjectivity, in that knowledge, or facts, or laws, or anything else, cannot be featured as such unless they have some kind of framework to sustain them. And just by being contextualized, they are limited to the settings of such contextualizations. So, this being the case, knowledge, at best, is an island. It is not all encompassing. It's utility is facilitated existentially, and not otherwise. And we can use knowledge existentially for communication, creativity and exploration, but there's no reason to try and seek certainty, unless our goals are really to try and pin down reality and control it. To try and pour concrete over an abstract medium. And I know why many of you want to do this, for we see a lot of negativity in our reality and often our impulses motivate us to try and fix it, or clean it up, but understand that messes and broken aspects are originally caused by this very same impulse and motivation: The desire to attach. The desire to attach. The desire to attach. The insatiable craving to want to control circumstances, to be either grasped at and sustained, or to be pushed away and avoided. And this is the primary reason people want certainty. Not really so much because they want knowledge, but because certainty deludes one into thinking they can control circumstances to fulfill their desires. But that's all it is, a delusion.

In all honesty you don't really know jack shit. You cannot be certain of anything. I know this is maddening. I know this is outrageous to the sensibilities of the average modern thinking mind, but it's the raw reality. Yet, this nagging intellectual irritant doesn't necessarily have to be as such. Again, this relates to the default conditioning of the persona, which fosters the tendency to seek familiarity, comfort and stability, aka attachments, which really only weaken and disempower us, for all of this really only fortifies the borders, which, in turn, crystallizes the margins into the towering walls of a self imposed prison. Is this where we really want to be? In the adventure of life, is not our eternal quest to explore, question and observe? And are these activities not the whole point of the trip?

We've often heard it said before, that life is a journey and not a destination, and that the spiritual path is the path itself, and not a matter of reaching anywhere. So the question then becomes: why are you not ok with this? What are your priorities and where did these priorities originate from? Are these inclinations your own, or were they just instilled in you by other people who wanted to shape and mold you to their own instilled standards? If you are here to make the most out of your existential exploration, then stop looking for outside approval, and stop looking externally for power and authority. You are not going to find existential truth in the libraries or in the hierarchies. You don't have to feel the need to emulate and identify with an archetype that you think reflects your self image. You will have not accomplished anything by finding some knowledge, or scripture, or philosophical ideology, and then preaching it atop a soap box, wagging your finger at the uninformed, using guilt as a weapon of conformity.

Take it easy, relax. Let go of the need to bend others to a purpose. Whenever we see an ideologue or a theologian who is adamantly imploring us to accept some kind of knowledge or world narrative as an irrefutable truth, it is always more indicative of a troubled psychology, then of a sound philosophy. You seem to be aware of an experience of phenomena. Beyond that, it's all narrative; of which, is then called knowledge.

[jinlian]

i dont know if you're the right person to come to but i kind of have some thoughts on fandom women writing m/m sex. im def. not saying women can't write it (esp. considering theres a whole industry filled with men fetishizing lesbians, but thats for another time) but if all they talk and focus on is the sexual aspect and dont care abt anything else, it feels almost fetishy and dehumanizing? there's intersectionality btwn how women creators and gay people are treated but i cant quite grasp it.

i also forgot to mention in the last ask but i feel like the line btwn fetishizing and exploring can be awfully blurry and it’s kind of hard for me to consume media as a result. it’s weird, but i feel the need to look at the person and see what context it’s written in, what their background is, etc. i want to be critical of what im consuming and the person who created it and how im consuming but it’s just kinda weird and causes cognitive dissonance a little. sorry for the ramble.

hey, so, there’s definitely a lot that can be said on this topic! there’s a lot to unpack in your ask both regarding the fetishization thing and how you’re interacting with media. i think what you’re doing is important and you’ve definitely got the right idea but i can also really see where the dissonance comes in a little bit. it’s tough, because you sort of have to walk the line between “everything we consume is problematic, sometimes i just need to enjoy things” and “media doesn’t exist in a vacuum and we need to criticize things when they deserve it.” which – yeah, is a tough line to walk! 

i think at a certain point it unfortunately comes down to individual judgement. i can think jk rowling is pretty shitty while still loving harry potter and what i was able to take from it as a child, while still acknowledging she could have pushed the envelope further. i’m having a much more difficult time knowing what to do with my feelings about rurouni kenshin. et cetera. basically, i try to enjoy things while still being willing to talk about the bad shit, but if i’m feeling like the harmful things way outnumber the good then i’m out of there.

so unfortunately all i can tell you about how you’re consuming media is just to  to use your best judgement. we all need to let ourselves enjoy things. but enjoyment and criticism can and need to go hand in hand. so – just keep being conscious of it. engage and have fun, step back when you feel you need to do that. 

when it comes down it, cishet women writing m/m sex is always going to send off a lot more danger bells to me than wlw doing it. which isn’t to say that all straight women shipping and writing m/m ships are bad, because that’s definitely not true! the answer isn’t to desexualize the ship completely any more than it is to point fingers at any straight girl daring to ship two men together, both options are bad. i’ve definitely seen straight women fans interacting with victuuri for example in a way i felt was very genuine and heartfelt and not creepy at all, and that’s awesome. the weirdness comes in context.

because you’re right – there’s a lot of bad crap out there that does come off as dehumanizing. the fics that completely toss aside any semblance of characterization for the “hot smut” or have clearly done no research into how (cis) gay men have sex and really are just there to focus on the banging. there’s way too much of that – and they’re often the most popular things in fandom (mafia aus, nympho yuuri, that rival au, etc). it’s gross, it’s uncomfortable. so i agree w you.

it gets complicated when you introduce 13-14 year olds to fan spaces occupied by 30-40 y/o women who are producing some of this content. it’s difficult to blame teens when adults should know better. yes, adults belong in fandom spaces. i’m an adult, i like having fun with nerdy things too! but adults also have a responsibility not to be fucking weird about it. younger people will try to emulate the older ppl and get wrapped up in fandom culture, which perpetuates itself, and it’s just a big cycle. sex in fanworks is fine, it really is. but adults in particular need to start doing some critical thinking about who’s sharing fandom space as well as whom their content might be harming.

so there’s an exploration aspect of young teens testing out sexual content, which isn’t inherently bad, but adults producing some of this gross fetishy “what is characterization i just want hot inaccurate unsafe sex smut” should know better. it’s harmful and hurtful. our sexuality does not exist for your entertainment and consumption.

to an extent this can be said of wlw as well, i’ve seen my fair share of it (especially wrt ~omegaverse stuff). this is not to say that trans men and mlm can’t and don’t enjoy this stuff, but they cannot fetishize themselves, that’s totally up to them to create and consume content about their own lives. but there’s an inter-community discussion, as i know there are differing opinions there. which just comes down to this imo: if you’re a cis/cishet woman, just…. think more critically about what you’re doing.

it gets more complicated with wlw i think because we don’t have a lot of stuff that reflects our own stories. i’ve talked a little bit before about how there’s a reason we latch onto male homosocial relationships in media, platonic or otherwise. at least for me, it’s because there’s just a dearth of women in media who even have characters, let alone unique or individual stories, let alone really fleshed out relationships with other women. male relationships are often given so much more depth, exploration, and respect in storylines that i think it’s easy to find ourselves gravitating towards that – especially when we’re looking for relationships of the same gender.

it doesn’t mean that women in media don’t exist or that it excuses any gross things produced by those wlw, because it definitely doesn’t. but i understand why we find those stories compelling. in my experience wlw tend to be more careful and aware of how they’re producing fan content for mlm (though of course not all of us!) simply because the stories feel more personal and they understand how it feels to have their sexuality and identity fetishized for consumption, and are actively trying to avoid it.

none of this ofc applies to every person belonging to each identity, so there are bound to be outliers and aberrations here. that’s fine! i guess this is kind of more of my rambling about general trends and observations.

basically – i think i share your concerns while recognizing that it’s a complicated topic. i like seeing people loving a ship for what it is and wanting to engage with it. gay ppl in particular are looking for stories about ourselves. and all ppl should be fine writing sex and exploring those aspects of relationships in fan content! it just comes down to being aware and responsible and knowing that media and fandom do not exist in a vacuum.

[blanchardindia]

7 Essentials Leadership Skills for Managers

Everyone who has worked for a significant amount of time has occasionally had problems with their supervisor. The experience is so common that the idea of a problematic manager has inspired numerous Hollywood comedies.

While disagreements with managers may be hilarious to watch on television, poor management is terrible for the company's bottom line. $7 billion each year, or 9–10% of global GDP is what Gallup estimates the cost to be.

Essential Leadership Capabilities for Managers

Although there are many ways to do so, the first step is to decide which aspects of your people management need development. Which competencies will have the most significant

influence on financial results? Although technical skills are essential for individual

contributors, leaders typically need a robust set of soft skills.

Here are seven essential management abilities for the modern workforce. When deciding if your business needs to upskill or whether you can grow professionally on your own, you can use this list of manager skills.

Emotional Quotient

It may sound easy to have emotional intelligence, which is the capacity to comprehend and manage one's emotions, read and respond correctly to others' emotions, and manage

relationships. However, it accounts for about 90% of what makes exceptional performers stand out, claims Harvard Business Review.

 Effective Communication

Strong leaders can articulate their vision to both their team and those in positions of authority. But more than that, they need to be able to adapt and customize their messages

for a variety of contexts and audiences, frequently spanning cultural and

generational boundaries.

Delegation

Nobody is capable of doing everything. The productivity goals of their department are likely to be challenging for managers who find it difficult to delegate and may also need help to produce the highest quality work. In addition, they have the power to demoralize their workers. Effective managers select the best team member for each job and ensure they have the skills and resources necessary to complete it.

Encouraging Others

A motivated team produces results. The motivational factors, however, are very personal. Good managers can pinpoint what drives each team member and use that information to

keep people engaged regarding opportunities for progress or just plain recognition. They are aware that treating workers fairly and with respect is a strong motivation in and of itself.

Strategic Consideration

The market is changing quickly today, thanks to customer demand and technology. To guide

their teams to success, managers must possess the ability to think strategically and grasp the big picture. In this context, strategic thinking entails evaluating a situation, establishing reasonable objectives, and creating plans to achieve them.

Integrity

Nobody likes to be mistreated, and workers who believe their manager doesn't appreciate them or that they can't trust them are likely to quit quickly. On the other hand, leaders who uphold integrity put justice and honesty first, building a climate of trust among their teams.

Adaptability

Unexpected circumstances can alter how we function at any time, as the epidemic has shown. Strong leaders can rapidly analyze new obstacles and change course as

necessary, even when uncomfortable. Flexible managers don't cling to particular

ways of doing things just for the sake of it; instead, they recognize that work

and procedures may constantly be improved.

Outstanding leadership does not develop independently; rather, it depends on a complex

interplay of manager abilities and environmental factors. Businesses that want to increase employee engagement and their bottom line can start by examining their management training programs. If they aren't giving new and existing managers thorough leadership training and support, they are missing a significant chance to enhance the corporate culture.