#assassin!suna

[sukunoon]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏. ↳ codename: fox ↳ suna rintarou x fem!reader

◃◃ prev | m.list | taglist | next▹▹

synopsis. in order to retrieve evidence against the mafia, he finds himself in a populated office building, stuck in an elevator with the man he was searching for.  

content warnings. assassin!AU, mafia!AU, guns, knives, descriptions of blood, descriptions of violence, descriptions of death, fire - [ if i missed anything let me know ! ]

word count. 1.4k

author’s note. heheh first part! i’m so excited i have a plan for everything but these take so long to write- this one took my hours...also i feel like i should make a playlist for this >:))

the elevator music played quietly in the background as the businessmen talked amongst each other, being good friends ever since they met each other in the office. with a small ding, the doors split apart, revealing a hooded man that wore only sweatpants and his dark colored hoodie with red blotches covering the front.

it was odd to see someone with such baggy clothing in such an expensive building, but the two continued on nonetheless as the man shuffled passed to two of them to the back of the elevator.

“did ya hear the news goin’ around, felix?” the one on the right with his dark red suit fit to his features, asked with a small smirk on his lips.

“i don’t like that smile you have teddy,” the other who’s name seemed to be felix, in a dark blue colored suit, mumbled under his breath as he rolled his eyes. “about the genocide?”

teddy, nodded his head enthusiastically. “the mafia genocide, felix.” he annunciated the word mafia as if it was common knowledge. that was the name going around for the killings according to twitter. “they killed all those people and the police did nothing.”

“yes, i heard about that. but it seemed like there was nothing the police could do.” felix shrugged, not too concerned with the problems that didn’t revolve around him.

“nope i don’t accept that, they coulda done a lot more than ya think, the police are taking orders from the mafia leader, i just know it.” he grinned as if he was an ace detective that had just solved a case.

“what?” felix rolled his eyes, his chin dipped to his chest as his head dropped. he rubbed his forehead at the words of his friend. “teddy, enough with your conspiracy theories, you know they’re never right.”

teddy’s grin turned into an evil-like ‘i told you so’ type of grin as he pulled his phone from his pant pocket. “you just choose not to believe felix,” he coed. “but this time, i have proof!” he made a small, over dramatic drum roll on his legs, making felix roll his eyes once more.

“proof?”

teddy swiped up, inputting his phone’s passcode and clicking the photo icon on his screen. “i had ben do some diggin’ into the call logs after the mafia genocide happened, and this is what he found.” after inching closer to felix, he clicked on the audio clip, adjusting the device so he could hear better.

“listen, you have to stop this, i’m begging you to stop this sir! that last show you put on was genocide!” felix’s eyes widened as he wet his lips, a grimace setting in on his features as the audio continued. “so many innocent lives died last night and it cannot be overlooked any longer. the media got ahold of everything, it spreading like wil-” and the audio cut out.

he stopped for a moment, shaking his head slightly as he questioned. “was that...the police chief?”

teddy nodded, his grin now disappeared and a determined frown took over his lips. “i think the police have no power over what the mafia does.” he closed his eyes as he spoke, something he always did when he began a rant, felix knew that. “there’s no way the police chief out of all people would say somethin’ like that, even if it’s not clear that he’s talkin’ to the mafia boss, it’s implied...right felix?”

he sighed at felix’s response; silence. it was common for felix to do that, at least that’s what teddy thought. his eyes fluttered open. “felix-” his head turned to his best friend. “felix..?” he breathed.

the happy elevator music continued as teddy’s posture wilted, his skin turning pale as he opened and closed his mouth without a word coming from his throat. in front of him was his best friend leaning against the side of the elevator, his neck slit and his jaw slack, the life that was once in his eyes there now gone.

“AHHHHH!” the most gut wrenching scream filled the small area as his vision became blurry. his back hit the opposite side of the elevator as he backed into it, his hand covering his mouth as gags periodically came from his throat.

tears fell from his cheeks as he shut his eyes, blinding him from his surroundings. only the feeling of an obnoxious pain in his stomach made him squint his eyes.

in front of him was the hooded man that stood behind him in the elevator. his head fell, the man was holding a knife in his stomach as red liquid dripped onto the floor. “wha-” he coughed, blood dripping down his chin and down his suit as he ripped the knife from his stomach, making teddy slid to the floor.

the man stepped over to felix, grabbing something from his pocket only to glance at it for a moment before putting it in his own. “what are- ya..?” he coughed once more, holding his stomach as the life slowly drained from his eyes. the man bent down next to teddy, grabbing his phone from his pocket only to stand back up.

“ya don’t..know the pass-” teddy’s eyes widened as the man typed in his password without hesitation. his entire body shook at the thought of what that man was, who he was with, but then, it clicked as the elevator dinged and slowly revealed what was behind the door.

“the..mafia, yer with the..mafia.” he stuttered as he stared at the scene behind the door. the bloodied bodies of his coworkers, practically ripped apart as they were strewn across the floor, the desks, the tables.

a pit formed at the bottom of his stomach as he now struggled to breathe properly. he tore his eyes away from the ground floor and back to the man who was now replaying the audio message from before. there was something plugged into his phone he couldn’t quite make out.

as the audio stopped, the man unplugged the cord and pocketed it, throwing the phone onto the ground in front of him. he stepped out of the elevator, crushing the phone into pieces in the process.

as the elevator door began to shut once more, the man stopped it with his hand, stepping through the doorway just enough to see teddy as he lay slumped on the floor. “you- the mafia..” he whimpered, his breathing erratic as he held his stomach.

the man reached behind to his back, lifting his hoodie slightly to get what was hanging from his belt. teddy’s eyes widened as the barrel of a pistol was now pointed at his head. “wrong.” his voice was low, filled with a type of malice teddy had never heard as he pulled the trigger. the muffled sound of the shot echoed throughout the first floor of the building.

he cleared his throat as he walked towards the door, stepping over bloodied bodies as he did so. he shoved his hands in his pockets as he opened the door, steadily turning the corner before the crowds could gather.

he let out a sigh as his hood fell from the wind, revealing his black hair in a messy bun on the back of his head, his baby hairs swayed with the wind. with a few swift movements, he tore off the large, baggy hoodie and sweatpants. underneath those baggy clothes was a black suit that fit him almost too perfectly.

he rolled his shoulders back, flexing his sore muscles as he reached into his pocket. as he did, he threw his blood spattered clothes behind him and into the air, pulling the lighter he’d taken from one of the men in the elevator from his pocket. with a quick flick of his wrist, the flame of the lighter caught his clothes, lighting them ablaze.

the flame of his clothes soon caught the side of the office building as further he walked down the street to his destination. he sighed once more, cracking his neck as the fire burned in the distance, the civilians watched the building in horror.

it wasn’t long before he arrived at the place he’d been looking for. he stopped, opening the glass door to the red telephone booth that sat on one of the back alleys. he grabbed the phone, his slender fingers tapping at the numbers as he dialed the number he’d been given. he held the phone to his ear as it rang, soon to be picked up on the other end.

“codename: fox.”

@sapphicshav​​​ @memosa​​ [ sorry i had to repost it cuz tags- ]

[carleycore]

anime men who are the definition of:

“wear what you want, i know how to fight.”

IWAZUMI, chuuya, E R E N, Mikey, MIGUEL, Natsu, Laxus, Bakugo, Shinsou, Levi, Jean, Oda, Atsumu & Osamu, Ban, KARMA (he’d start the fight tbh) Akutagawa, Suna, Guren, Yami, & Asta (but who knows if he’ll win)

[concernedbrownbread]

I’m a kazekage temari truther

[kemistre]

i'm writing! no way i'm writing!

[hqkalon]

♱ 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ♱

welcome to the experiments of sex terror where each character x reader takes place within a different kink. if your able to handle the horror of sex mania then you can proceed... may all the kinky whores enjoy kinktober 23’ !

this will be my first kinktober, so remember to have patience as I am learning to navigate throughout this upcoming month xx. all writings will have content warnings, so i'd recommend you to read the warnings as well as the guidelines to what i write!!

all fics will be displayed at the top, while drabbles/headcanons will be at the bottom. (scroll down)

— from one kinky whore to another <3

main masterlist - taglist ( +18 )

- OCT. 07 - “Stakes won’t hurt me darling.”

KINK : PARAPHILIA — vampire!gojo x hunter!reader

october 31st a blood-thirsty vampire appeared within the shadows of the london, preying on innocent civilians. it was your job as a vampire hunter to execute this fiend, but how would that be knowing you were the missing puzzle to his piece.

- OCT. 14 - “A game of Fox and the Little Mouse.”

KINK : CORRUPTION — stalker!toji x reader

letters from an unknown sender, suddenly start appearing at your doorstep every night with a questionable slogan- the Hunter and it's Prey. who could this sender be? and why did the victim have to be you?

- OCT. 21 - “How about a different kind of studying?”

KINK : DUMBIFICATION — tutor!atsumu x reader

it's the night of Halloween and you're stuck getting tutored by one of your fellow classmates. he's everything a girl could dream of, but why did you have to land on bad luck while all your friends got to party, or so you thought.

- OCT. 28 - “Smile for the camera as I slaughter your cunt.”

KINK : VOYEURISM — ghost face!suna x reader

you were now the new helpeless victim in his sequel. stumbling upon the infamous ghost face- inviting you into his film, recording live. starring @/ghostface and his new helpeless victim.

- OCT. 31 - “Am I too much for you dear?”

KINK : DEGRADATION — assassin!getou x reader

a quiet town rose with suspicion as the sudden news of a murder lurking within the shadows- though stumbling upon his shadows leads you into a vacant mansion. what will you do when faced with this cold-blooded killer.

- OCT. 01 -

KINK : BONDAGE — könig x reader

- OCT. 08 -

KINK : SPANKING — nanami x reader

- OCT. 15 -

KINK : FACE-SITTING — incubus!bokuto x reader

- OCT. 22 -

KINK : THIGH-RIDING — mean dom!getou x reader

- OCT. 29 -

KINK : HATE-FUCKING — simon ghost x reader

[coconutdays]

my master list FOR NOW. I will work on it after I finish this geto thing im working on rn. its very bad im aware but this is just cause the ask I got made me guilty nobody knows what else ive written AHHHH ok I go back to writing.

smut fics will be italicized

bnha

bakugo

pit pat, pit pat

haikyuu

suna

emotion

ushijima

watch out

aot

eren

strawberries and burgers

part one, part two, part three

cry baby

computer science! eren

part one, part two

jjk

gojo

drunk

part one, part two

geto

seat taker

toji

assassin! toji

part one, part two

love line

[slut4sugu]

— 𝐒𝐎𝐒. 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 !

─── . ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀ ♡ SOME WORDS FROM KAM: I just want to thank all of your for 100+ followers! It has been so much fun writing for you all and I greatly appreciate the support! So now I hope you all enjoy this milestone event!!

─── . ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀ ♡ SOME WARNINGS: some of these works will have mature content so minors Dni! I will label the ones that are sfw and nsfw, happy reading and thank you all so much again!

Here is SZA’s full SOS album in case you wanna listen to it however you want </3

NO.1 - SOS.

MDNI !

I CAN DO YOU BETTER [feat!] hobie brown

Lyrics : bestfriend!hobie x black fem reader, readers ex on the phone, fingering, hobie being evil </3, use of names like: doll, pretty thing, princess, cunnilingus, cursing, mentions of weed and alcohol use, bit of a slow burn

Summary: Your bestfriend hobie comforts you after getting broken up over the phone with your ex, and gives you the treatment you’ve always deserved.

NO. 2 - KILL BILL.

MDNI !

Come Back Darlin feat! [feat!] rue Bennett

Lyrics : ex!rue x fem!black reader, mentions smoking, makeout session, rue being slightly sappy, thigh riding, being almost caught by Gia, fluff at the end </3, cursing

Summary: you broke up with rue because her addiction was too concerning and you felt as though she would never change no matter what you said to her. After an argument you broke up, though as weeks then months passed rue started to realized your her drug. The strongest there fuckin is.

NO. 3 - SEEK & DESTROY.

BULLSEYE [feat!] assassin Toji x fem!black reader

Lyrics: Toji being hot as usual, reader having to treat his scars, suggestiveness, fluff, use of the name: doll, pretty, baby, princess, ma, toji being a sweetheart, use of guns, cursing.

Summary: you didn’t know what toji specifically did for work until you started to put pieces together, the excessive guns, weaponry, especially the scars. Then one night your boyfriend of 2 years sat you down an told you everything.

NO. 4 - LOW.

SHOW OFF [ feat!] 42!miles x fem!blackreader

Lyrics: miles being protective of you as per usual, jealousy themes, cursing, rio being suspicious, slight angst then fluff, reader being worried for miles, miles spoiling reader, slight suggestiveness

Summary: you found out that miles was the prowler, and assured him you would still want to be with him despite what he does as a ‘job’. But because you know he makes your relationship a secret, so that not even uncle Aron would know.

NO. 5 - SMOKING ON MY EX PACK.

MDNI !

F*CK OFF [ feat!] suna x fem!black reader

Lyrics: atsumu being a dick, angst to fluff, smoking, stoner suna, skipping school, alottt of cursing, fighting between atsumu n suna, suna being a sweetheart to reader, cheating themes, mentions of a abusive relationship between atsumu and reader

Summary: After a long awaited break up with a toxic atsumu, you struggle to love yourself again. So your old friend comes to ease your mental pain, and real ease some tension.

NO. 6 GOOD DAYS.

MDNI !

MY HEART [ feat!] ? x fem!black reader (it’s a surprise <33)

Lyrics: ? being an absolute sweetheart, use of vibrator, slight age gap, reader is in her late 20’s and ? is in her early 30’s, cunnilingus, edging, aftercare, use of names: Honey, princess, sweetheart, baby

Summary: ? met you one day at a concert and couldn’t take her eyes off your cute outfit for the whole show, after getting your insta, meet ups begin to happen in discreet locations and reserved buildings before turning into stays in her penthouse.

[pyjamaart]

Breaking Bot (read more for some rambling about mega man fully charged)

Mega Man Fully Charged has been on my mind again lately, which made me realize that there's literally a robot named Chemistryman who worked as a chemistry teacher. Not using him as a Walter White stand-in would be a criminal offense.

I'll have to admit I started getting back into Fully Charged again after seeing some asshole on twitter complain about the character design for the hundredth time. I just can't stand that kind of negativity. I swear to god, Fully Charged is like the Sonic Boom of the Mega Man franchise. Personally, I really enjoy the FC designs. I've probably said this before, but I feel like the redesigns give some of the more forgettable robot masters way more character. Like, do I care for Classic Drillman from Mega Man 4? I mean, yeah, I do, but I wouldn't care as much if it wasn't for his Fully Charged incarnation.

I also really enjoy most of the original robot masters. I already talked plenty about Blastowoman and why I love her so much, but I want to talk about the others this time.

Take for example Chemistryman. Comparisons to Walter White out of the way, I feel like his character was a really fun idea. God knows I had teachers who put me to sleep back in the day. For me, it wasn't chemistry though, it was my economics teacher. I always compared her to a story teller at a Christmas market who would read children stories out of her big fairy tale book. Only that in reality, it was stuff like the minimization/maximization principle. Most of my notes for that class were incomprehensible chicken scratch, because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. In the end, I slept through like half her classes, lol. But I gotta say that I still always got a B or higher in the end. Somehow. I thank god every day that I never have to step foot in a school again.

I really wish Chemistryman got a little more time to shine though. Two episodes is just way too little. I would gladly take three more episodes with him over those gross Gutsman episodes. I know I love talking about wasted potential with this show, but I wish there was an episode that focused on Chemistryman outside of the school setting. I get that his whole character is "boring, bitter teacher", but I'd really like to see what he gets up to when he's not trying to force children to listen to his chemistry lectures. Like having Aki try to talk him into going into retirement for good. And then he tries to find hobbies for him so that he doesn't bore himself to death. I can see him getting into building model ships or something like that, lol.

Now that I'm already writing up a storm again, I might as well talk about some other headcanons I have about the FC bots. Since Woodman was in sleep mode for 30 years after the war ended (I don't know where I got that number from. I rewatched his debut episode, but the exact number doesn't appear anywhere. Oh well, let's just pretend this is canon, even if it isn't.) we got kind of a Shadow the Hedgehog type situation on our hands. All of his friends and family got to live their lives in this new, peaceful world of harmony between robots and humans, while Woodman spent 30 years powered down in a bush or something. Completely forgotten about. Like, why didn't they go look for him after the war ended? I don't think Aki and Suna wandered that far into the forest for their school assignment. If you really think about Woodmans back story for a moment, you realize how fucked up it actually is. 

Now my explanation for this goes into heavy heavy headcanon territory. When Suna calls the principal about Woodman, he warns her that Woodman is dangerous and to get away from him immediately. Now why would he say that? The principal also calls him "ruthless" in that same explanation. What I think happened back then was that Woodman actually planned to assassinate the human armies leader. (Possibly Sgt. Night?) The leader of the robots caught wind of his plan and put him into sleep mode himself, since he and Dr. Light were on the brink of finding a way to end the war peacefully. In my mind, this leader is the FC version of Swordman. Don't ask me why, he was just the first guy I thought of. And then it just stuck.

I know this makes Woodmans back story even more fucked up, but I just love putting my favorite blorbos through hardship. Don't even ask me about my headcanons for Drillman. They'd actually put me in prison.

Now all this culminates after Woodman is reactivated by Suna and Aki. Finding himself alienated from all his former friends and comrades (Maybe the other Mega Man 2 robot masters?), what was he supposed to do? He couldn't spend the rest of his life isolated (and homeless) in the forest, could he? And this is where season 2 could have delivered. But I'm done whining about that. If Capcom doesn't deliver, I gotta write my own season 2. Simple as that.

Anyway, getting back to Chemistryman, since he's pretty old, I imagine that he was already working as a teacher when Woodman was still around. Maybe he even was his teacher at some point.

And since I love having my favorite characters interact, I also thought of a scenario where Drillman wanders into the forest out of frustration over his miserable life, only to meet Woodman by coincidence. In the end, Woodman helps him work through his daddy issues and his body dysmorphia, while Drillman helps Woodman reintegrate and manage this (for him) completely new world of peace. Another great headcanon of mine is that Chemistryman is actually Acidmans father. Just because I think it would be funny. And as Fully Charged has confirmed: robots in that universe do indeed have parents. (Flashback to the time I drew Dr. Light beating the shit out of Drillman's father)

Speaking of Drillman.... For being one of my favorite Mega Man characters of all time, I haven't drawn him nearly enough. That will probably be my next project.

This might also be a great time to tell you that I've never watched Breaking Bad before, lol. Everything I know about it comes from RTGame's Stardew Valley playthrough and the RTVS Half Life parody.

Sorry for all the yapping. But if I don't talk about robots at least once a day, I might die. This is a serious condition.

[nightofhappylight]

Initially just wanted to draw Sasori and Kisame in their respective villages' standard uniform.

...And now there's a whole idea for a fanfic, so here's a short one of GuardianNinja!Akatsuki AU.

.

Snow Country Reading Club

Sasori hates waiting.

Not that he would go on a frustrated, genocidal mass-killing over waiting for a few minutes or anything, but if any of the idiots don’t arrive soon—or worse, if they change shifts without informing him—then there’s no telling what his smallest, mostly harmless doll he’s now fiddling with would do.

Flicking a finger, Sasori absently watches as the doll picks up a stick and starts to draw something on the ground. Not quite distracting enough, he makes it take up a stick on each limb and do a weird, half-remembered imitation of Suna’s traditional fan dance. If he cares enough, there’s a faint laugh he can hear from inside the big, heavily guarded building some meters away from where he’s sitting. He looks down and sighs.

Just fifteen more minutes. He would ditch the idiots if they don’t come after that.

༄ ༄ ༄

Deidara, for the umpteenth time, curses the ancient Tsuchikage for making him put up with this.

The job pays well, yes. And he is qualified, certainly.

But does he care? No, not really. Feudal Lords can do anything and Deidara would pay not even a quarter of shit to it. Their orders are shinobi’s main source of income but Deidara prefers the messy, explosive kind to the boring, tasteless, mind-numbing ones, like body-guarding.

He doesn’t have a choice, though. Not if he doesn’t want to get in another trouble with the old old man. Besides, it’s better than desk jobs, he guesses (because sage forbids he has to sit and write and think), and he gets to switch and take a break for a few hours to do whatever he wants.

…He just hopes a certain redhead wouldn’t stick a poisonous needle in him or something, though, because his shift lasting for one more hour is not his fault.

༄ ༄ ༄

When Kisame comes to their usual secret-but-not-really place, he is in a fairly cheery mood.

After seeing the familiar redhead, though, there’s something concerningly similar to fear—and morbid curiosity—that makes him blink.

“Uh” he starts, eloquently, “Where are the others?” because he’s usually the last one to arrive but there’s no blond or raven in sight.

Sasori looks downright pissed—Kisame wonders why the guy’s still there—and levels him with a look, “Who fucking knows.”

Oh. Wow. Okay.

Whistling a random, carefully low tune, Kisame sits a few feet from the puppeteer, “There’s a change in the Lightning’s Guardians, I heard.”

That, thankfully, gets the redhead’s attention.

“Who died?”

Kisame snorts, “Nah, just resigned, I think. It’s Dodai-san”

“The rubber guy” Sasori recognizes, “He is old, I guess.”

Kisame thinks about how Sasori is pretty old himself—despite his very misleading looks—and keeps the thought to himself. He glances to the windows of the building that currently holds the nations’ Feudal Lords, chuckles at how constipated Deidara had looked and faintly wonders why the convoy from Fire hasn’t arrived yet.

༄ ༄ ༄

When Itachi appears, it’s a day later than the schedule and he is greeted by a whole sour mood that turns off like a light the second he steps onto their self-claimed patch of clearing.

“Hey, Itachi-san” Kisame greets, a hand in a lazy wave, and Itachi follows the Kiri nin’s gaze and blinks at a raised eyebrow.

Ah. Right, he hasn’t had time to change yet.

“There was some trouble on the way” he explains, which is a normal occurrence, really—Feudal Lords eat assassination attempts for breakfast—but there has been a little more effort in the last couple times, “Asuma-san’s team is currently acting as decoy and we went here undercover.”

(Not that Itachi would say it out loud, but he is forever grateful the Fire’s Lord is mostly a chill guy and is fine with their modus operandi, however questionable it can be).

Vainly tapping his flak jacket to at least dust some dried red, Itachi takes a seat on the ground where Deidara is patting enthusiastically.

“We were talking about the Lightning new guy, yeah.”

“Darui-san?”

“What – you already knew??”

Itachi nods, pulling out a gray-bound scroll and a soft-cover book and thumping them on top of the other ones piled on a relatively cleaner spot, “Hokage-sama told me.”

Deidara rolls his eyes, “Of course he would, yeah” he says and goes to mutter something about blonds and old mans and retirement.

Kisame smirks, eyes alight in humor “Good for you, Itachi-san. Yagura-sama prefers his subordinates having surprises.”

“That’s because Kiri nin would die if you don’t get anything exciting happening for more than twenty minutes—”

“Hey! The one who had a rampage on a ‘seemingly empty desert’ doesn’t get to talk!”

“I’m not the one with the huge-ass, chakra-eating sword—”

Itachi snorts softly, taking one random book and flipping it open. Ah, a general history of the Stone’s alliance with Grass. He has read about it in Konoha’s archive, but having another point of view wouldn’t hurt.

“How old is the guy anyway?” Deidara asks by way of redirecting the topic because Sasori is now starting to bring up their tardiness.

“Young.”

“Younger than Itachi was?”

“No one is younger than Itachi was when he first joined.”

“…Fair. Younger than Deidara?”

“No, a little older,” a pause, “Acts ten years more than his age, though.”

They each grab a book or a scroll, a comment slipping here and there, and soon they’re sitting in a semi-circle, silent, each reading one thing or another.

“…We could invite the guy some time” Kisame says some half an hour into the silence, page opened on a certain kata illustration. (…So that’s why he has been… weirdly moving his hands about.)

“I’m fine with that, yeah” Deidara nonchalantly agrees, already on his third book and flipping many pages all at once and stopping randomly to read “Hey, somebody gotta teach me this one!”

Itachi glances at the pointed passage. A chakra control exercise. …Hmm.

“I could show an example” he offers, before looking at Sasori, “Unless Sasori-san is willing to demonstrate it” because the book is from Suna, after all. Said puppeteer just waves a dismissive hand, eyes still focused on an old, fraying scroll pertaining… Kiri’s desserts?

Deidara shoves the book into his hands. The raven reads the page once again to make sure of the theory and starts channeling it into practice. Brown and black dust falls from the hem of his sleeves and he glances forward as he feels the other half of Konoha’s convoy arriving and getting into the building.

It would be his shift in a couple hours, but for now, he is content to enjoy his break with some company.

[pumpkin-padparadscha]

What if I just read "The Art of Losing" by @wafflelate a million billion times because it's my favorite.

Anyway the rest of this post is just going to be me going !!!!! so, spoilers ahead

Things I think intensely about:

-how suna is going to react to Gaara deciding to become the kazekage

-how any detractors of his new position are going to be IMMEDIATELY shut down because the "first" thing he does is "contract with a seals mistress to get the dead wastes converted into arable land" (who is going to prove it WASNT a seal? Sunas sealing sucks lol. And technically it did originate from a seal. Gelels seal.)

-how devastated Gai is going to be upon learning literally everything Kakashi went through

-how pissed as fuck people are going to be upon discovering that root seals can apparently block soulmate bonds? I feel like sealing people without their informed consent is about to become very very illegal outside of emergency circumstances.

-how the fuck is cat feeling. Does he believe Kakashi is dead? Does he hope Kakashi is alive?

-nara shikakunand yoshino are about to fucking eviscerate the elder council. Either they were aware of this bullshit or they were criminally negligent. Oh, what's that inoichi and shibi? Some of your family got kidnapped too? Maybe we should bring torture back to t&i. Just this once.

-kakashi is going to be so fucking proud of shikimaru. In his super repressed way. Maybe in a he deserves that legacy more than I ever did if he's feeling self deprecating.

-do you think temari has to sit through a million drafts and revised versions of kankuros shikabane play the more information comes out. Soul mates who were cut off completely from their connection, one believing the other dead, and the other never even educated about soul bonds. Them still recognizing each other enough that Kakashi was kind to her and she freed him instead of killing him. Please kankuro why can't you make the fight scenes longer.

-shikaku seeing shikakos complete shadow transformation and being like "yeah that's insanely dangerous to so much as think about attempting, I don't want to consider how bad things had to be for her to create that. Forbidden jutsu on account of who the fuck knows how she didn't end up falling into the black"

-does Gai feel like he failed Kakashi. Does he swear never to do so again. Imagine him thanking shikako for saving his friend. Imagine Kakashi being shocked Gai still considers him a friend

-hi inoichi this is my soulmate Kakashi, he did not take thinking I was assassinated well at all, do you have any self help books because he hates talking about feelings

-obviously she knows about seals because danzo wanted his own nara level intelligent seal master. Obviously she hid as much of her skill as she could from him because she isn't stupid.

-anyway here's a book a better storage scroll some medical seals and the seal to get rid of roots evil tattoo of shittyness.

-actually now I'm thinking about what if she DOES join suna because Kakashi has trouble feeling safe in konoha or just because being around a shikamaru who never knew her and idolizes Kakashi is kind of awkward.

-if they share dreams do you think she explains her original world to Kakashi after he dreams of cities he's never seen.

-wondering who was the first person to remember the lookalike yoshino nara missing nin that got mentioned in that one report.

-if I think about how nervous Kakashi is going to be the first time he trolls shikako and how he'll feel when she grins or laughs or goes along with it I experience An Emotion™

-"I don't know if you'll like them, but here's other you's favorite books. They make a good social barrier, and you've been looking a little overwhelmed."

-yoshino is going to cry so so so much. Her baby needed her all this time and she never knew it.

-kakashi learning that he was absolutely invited to shikakos funeral and danzo is just a dick who lies

[sukunoon]

hi good morning ilysm i hope you have a great day <33

[bridgetotheskyyy]

chapter one.

masterlist.

Chapter Summary: You are escorted to Suna to meet your future husband-to-be - Gaara, the Kazekage - with the knowledge you must poison him.

Chapter Warnings: alcohol, hints of parental abuse, mentions of poison

Word count: 7.5k

a/n: We're finally here! Hehe I'm excited to share this with y'all! The first chapter's been up on ao3 for a while and I've finally gotten around to crossposting here. Chapter two will be available in August! If you're interested in extra notes I highly recommend keeping an eye on this story on ao3. Hope you enjoy!

Read on ao3 here.

“Lord Boutoku.” Lord Kankuro bowed. His men followed his motion, two shinobi who flanked him from behind. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Lord Boutoku — Father — sat stoic on his throne, knuckles supporting his chin. He, too, was flanked by men; members of your village’s council, shinobi poised to act. “Likewise, Lord Kankuro. I take it our accommodations were to your taste?”

“Oh, definitely,” Kankuro said, scratching the back of his head. “I thought I’d die of thirst on the way here! Of course, I imagine you all don’t have that problem, what with your oasis and all.” He laughed nervously.

No laughs followed. Father tapped his chin, unmoved and unamused. You almost felt sorry for Kankuro; Father was not a humorous man. You hadn’t seen him crack a single smile since your mother’s death all those years ago.

Kankuro’s laughter died. He must have guessed he’d caused some offense; he sank to his knees, fully prostrating himself. 

“Lord Boutoku,” he began, “I would like to apologize formally on the behalf on the Sand. The way Sunagakure has treated the Oasis village is utterly reprehensible. We only hope this new arrangement between your village and ours can alleviate the bad blood that lies between us.”

Bad blood.

That was an understatement.

Despite the power of the oasis, your village was small. Smack dab in the middle of the country of Wind, perennially antagonized by the Fourth Kazekage for its secrets, amongst other powers. Again and again, the Fourth had sent ninja to attack your village in hopes of stealing those secrets, oasis ninja slaughtered again and again in the name of protecting your home.

 Usually at the hands of his son.

You looked up at your father and waited for his response. 

“Your apology is much appreciated.” Father leaned forward with a hand on the arm of his chair. “I, too, hope this marriage will augur better things to come.”

“Yes.” Kankuro raised from his place, risking eye contact with Father. “The wedding between the Kazekage and your daughter will take place a month from now.”

“See that it does.”

You wrung hands in your lap. You had never, ever left your village before. Nor had Father. Could he really just give you away like this? 

And to Gaara of the Sand Waterfall? The monster of the Land of Wind? 

To assassinate him?

Your new reality was finally beginning to dawn with terrifying finality. It turned your hands clammy and sent your bones shaking underneath your skin. 

“The fourth’s assassination attempts failed to bear results,” Father had explained to you days before this meeting. The wild, crazed menace that lived in his eyes only when in private returned. “The fool. Rasa had no idea what he unleashed into the world and then lacked the strength to take out his own garbage. No matter; we will use more covert methods.”

But I’ve never killed anyone! You wanted to scream. 

“Don’t look like that!” Father snapped, startled you. “You are more than adequate for such a task. I do not ask you to imitate the shinobi around you. You have all your training as a lady; use your charm. It will conceal you, so long as you do not succumb to nerves. Do it for your brother. His blood is on the Kazekage’s hands. He of all deserves to be avenged.”

Your training … To be a court lady. To seduce, to beguile, to woo, to be beautiful and one day marry a man fit for your station. Not to kill. You didn’t know what he meant, but never would you be such an idiot as to argue with Lord Boutoku, village head, Guardian of the Oasis.

Now, Father nodded. “The time has come for my daughter to follow you.” He faced you, a meaningful glint in the ink black of his eye. “But before she does, I have a goodbye present.”

“Uh.” Kankuro didn’t know what to do with his hands, letting them fall in his lap. “Of course.”

Father motioned with his hands and immediately servants slid the room door open. They left a pillow on the floor, a black box atop it. One of the servants lifted the lid.

Your eyes widened. 

A necklace. Dyed sandstone, the color of turquoise, painted with the wavy indications of the village’s oasis and, in its center, your family emblem: the scorpion. 

Fitting, since it was where the poison was kept. 

“It has a small pocket within,” Father had explained. “The most potent poison known in the world.”

“The scorpion?” You surmised.

“Too obvious,” Father replied. “An extract from a plant that only grows this side of the Wind. You will end the Kazekage’s life with this.” 

It was an order.

“It’s beautiful, Father.” You feigned awe now. Hardly a lie. The necklace was very pretty, but the truth of what lay within tempered the aesthetic. 

“Only the best for my flesh and blood.” Father’s voice was honeyed as he began. “You, my greatest prize, the splitting image of your mother, who remains beautiful both in death and memory.”

You balled fists in your lap. Was it true? Was any of it true? Or did you just want it to be? 

Regardless, you hung on every word with knuckles blanched white.

“I bequeath my daughter to you.” Father focused on Kankuro now. “She will follow you into unknown lands. Proceed knowing you carry my heart with you on this journey.”

“Uh …” Kankuro blinked. “I — yeah — I mean, yes, of course.”

You gathered up the necklace, its chain dangling between the gaps of your fingers. You sat its pendant in your palm, the truth of it tingling your skin.

You bowed to your father. “Thank you.”

He nodded, a secret shared.

“Everything’s ready for us to depart,” Kankuro said. 

“Very well. You may go,” Father said. He lifted his hand, and a shinobi stood. “One of my personal guards, Chuuyou, will accompany you personally. He is the only one I would trust with such a task; my most loyal servant.”

Chuuyou strode toward you, offering a hand. He was much older than you, though you could never pin down an approximate age. Mid thirties? Early forties? His mask hid all but his eyes. 

“Come, Lady (Y/n),” he said, his soft voice an utter contrast to his intimidating build. “Careful, don’t harm yourself …”

Don’t drop the necklace.

You stood, felt the pressure of eyes on you as one of Kankuro’s men held the door open for you. You fixed the necklace around your neck.

“Goodbye, my love,” Father said before you crossed the threshold, “and remember.”

To everyone else, the meaning was obvious: remember me, your village, your home.

But you knew its true meaning:

Remember your duty.

-

“Sooo …” Kankuro’s word lingered. “Is he always like that?” 

Your smile was a bit too genuine. “Yes,” you chuckled.

Your gaze carried out the window; the coach sat in between the two walls concealing your village, and out sand ninja mixed with oasis ninja, sizing each other up, poised to act. Kankuro had brought quite a show with him, and you recognized it for what it was: a show of power. You counted at least fifty men. Your father, never one to be outdone, had raised to meet him with at least eighty to guard you on your way to Suna — and initiate the takeover, once the Kazekage was “handled.” One-hundred thirty in all. Tension stretched the air taut. The severity of it all was unbearable. 

When your eyes trailed higher, your home sprawled before you; giant sandcastles composed the buildings, towers, temples dedicated to the spirit of the oasis, some otherworldly being no one but the village heads had ever seen; bridges protected and nestled by a circling sandstone wall for good measure.

“It’s a shame there has to be so much mistrust between our villages,” You said to say something.

“It is.” Kankuro’s voice was solemn as he rested elbows on his knees. “Look, I know this all must be a … big change for you. It must be scary, too. But it’s okay; everything will be all right.” He tried a smile. “Once you arrive, they’ll be a big celebration. Lots of associates and the like, nothing you can’t handle. That sounds fun, right?”

You faced him. Affable and easy nature. It was sweet of him to try to soothe you. You were nervous — but not for reasons you could share with him. Gaara of the Sand Waterfall, the monster who had killed your brother … Clearly, this tidbit of family history was unknown to them, otherwise there would be no way they could trust you. You knew what you had to do, but how was your father so sure you could do it? Couldn’t he just snap you in two? How were you supposed to pretend to be happy about being married off to someone like that?

You flipped your fan open to conceal the lower end of your face, eyes lowering to the window. “It does. Thank you for your concern … The Kazekage — your brother … what kind of man is he?”

“Gaara?” Kankuro blinked before realization made him smile and scratch his head again, “Oh, okay, I know where this is going. He had quite a … reputation in the past, but he’s very different now. You’ll be safe with him — with us.”

You would say that, wouldn’t you? But still, you’d heard great things about the Kazekage — how he’d help lead the charge during the Fourth Great Ninja War, how he had battled the Uchiha patriarch, befriended the Hokage … 

“The Kazekage has changed a great deal, apparently …” 

“More than you know,” Kankuro joked. “And like I said, we’re very sorry for the grief the Sand has caused your village. You have nothing to fear from him.” His next words were emphatic. “He would never hurt an innocent person, especially a civilian, especially his future wife.”

Perhaps the fear of being ripped to shreds had left you, but there was still the question of his character. And everything else. What if you weren’t his type? What if you couldn’t woo him enough to get close? What then?

The coach jerked. 

“Oh.” Kankuro took note of the scene outside the window. “Good. We’re moving.”

You stuck your head out the window to take one last look at your home. The village began to grow distant as the coach drew past the gate and sank into darkness. It was real. You were leaving. 

“You’ll love the sand, Lady (Y/n),” Kankuro said. “It’s not much of a change at all, in fact.”

“I …”  You trailed. You settled back into the coach. “I look forward to it. And please, just (Y/n) will do; we’ll be family soon enough!”

Kankuro smiled. “All right. (Y/n).”

You returned the smile. The poisoned pendant sat around your neck, pressed against your beating heart.

-

The trip was saved by geography. Your village sat on the far east of the Land of Wind, bordering the Land of Rivers. A day and you were closing in on the Sand. 

When the coach opened, you were dying to stretch your legs. A whole day and a half in a coach had been torture enough, but having Kankuro as company had made it easier, amusing you with impromptu puppet shows and jokes.

“There you go, I gotcha,” he said as he led you by the hand out of the coach onto the hard rocky ground, waited as you reached back to retrieve your gift for the Kazekage.

Immediately your guard, Chuuyou, came to your side as the gates of Sunagakure opened for them like a lion’s maw. The wind whipped at your face and threatened to grain your eyes with sand.

“Are you all right, my lady?” he asked.

“Yes.” You opened your fan to conceal your face. “Let’s hurry before the wind picks up…”

Together, Kankuro and Chuuyou led you to the gates. Like a mythical palace, they creaked open, loud and ancient. Guards nodded to Kankuro as the three of you passed, followed by the one-hundred thirty. The gates roared closed. The wind ceased howling. 

“I hate this part,” Kankuro said beside you. “It’s a five-minute walk once you get past the gate.”

“We were in a coach for a whole day,” You said, closing your fan to tape on your shoulder, looking up at him. “I thought you’d be relieved, like me.”

“So I’m lazy — sue me.”

You chuckled. You liked Kankuro. Throughout the trip, he had begun to remind you a bit of your older brother, Hideo. 

Light from the interior of the village spilled through, illuminating the walkway. Two more people waited.

A blonde woman strode to Kankuro. “Finally,” she said. She smiled and bowed to you. “Hello, Lady (Y/n). We’re so pleased to welcome you to our village.”

“Just (Y/n), please!”

She raised from her bow, surprised. 

“She insisted, Temari,” Kankuro said. “Leave the formalities to the old geezers.”

“Kankuro!” the man beside Temari chastised.

Kankuro only snickered as Temari regained composure. “Well, if you’re comfortable. My name is Temari.”

“The Kazekage sister!” 

“Yes.” She seemed charmed by your naivety. She motioned to the man behind her. “And this is Baki.”

The man beside her bowed, half of his face hidden by a sheet. “A pleasure.”

“Hello …”

Temari’s eyes roved over what sat cradled in your arms. “And you brought something!”

You offered it to her. “A gift for the Lord Kazekage.”

It was a cactus of rich chartreuse, secured in a simple pot. Its spiked leaves raised skyward, growing eagerly from its soil. 

“Oh, he’ll love it.” She took it from you. “My brother loves cacti. How did you know?”

“I’ve heard rumors.”

“It’s so thoughtful of you!” Temari said, voice high and adorable. She motioned for you to follow. “Let’s get you to the council. The sooner they meet you, the sooner we can show you to your quarters for some well-deserved rest, hm? Besides, they’ve been dying to meet you.”

“One of them, especially,” Kankuro added.

Sunagakure opened up to you. It depressed into its cavern, with buildings standing tall and stable with stucco. Domed buildings were adorned with tiny, spherical windows. You still preferred your village, with its swirling sandstone and elegant sandcastles, but Suna proved impressive in its own right. 

“I’m just happy to see another female after so long,” You said as you followed.

This made Temari chuckle. “Sorry. I would’ve gone myself to collect, but …”

“She never leaves my brother’s side if she can help it,” Kankuro said. “I can’t believe she’s getting married —“

Temari shot him a glare, and he reeled back.

“Don’t fight,” Baki ordered from behind you. “Do I need to remind you two that we have a guest?”

“You’re getting married?” You asked. “How nice! So I’m not alone!”

Clever, girl. Father praised in your mind.

Temari blushed. “Yes, well — ahem — this isn’t about me …”

She ushered all of you into a building and led you to its underground, where a room opened up. You stood amazed as statues of previous Kazekages rose high into the ceiling. A round table sat at the center of the room and sat around it were robed elders. The council. 

“Oh!” one of them, the only woman, squealed. “She’s arrived! Address her, my lord!”

A man turned to see you.

Gaara.

You had never seen him in person. Immediately, his ringed eyes, turquoise eyes, captivated yours. A strange kanji tattooed his forehead. Otherworldly, save for the red hair common of those in the desert. He’s … cute.

He’s  killed people? He’s not even that tall …

Nervous, you bowed. “My lord.” You rose in time to see him return the favor. 

“She’s brought a gift for you, Lord Kazekage!” the woman elder exclaimed.

Temari smiled and gave it to him. 

Gaara — Gaara blushed.

You recovered from your surprise. “I know you must already have so many, but …”

“No,” he said. He petted the side of the pot, seeming genuinely touched. “It’s all right … Thank you.”

You nodded and heard Father’s voice. Yes, all according to plan …

“You are very beautiful,” he said. 

You fiddled with your fingers. The council members murmured, hearts in their eyes. So distracted were you by Gaara and your own thoughts that you didn’t see the female elder come between the two of you.

“Oh, Lady (Y/n),” she said breathlessly. “I am Ikanago.” She took your hand. “Come, come, sit with us.”

“Lady —“

“Lady Temari, please excuse yourselves from the room,” Ikanago hastened. “We must consult with Lady (Y/n) and Lord Kazekage.”

Temari, Baki, and Kankuro looked to Gaara for help. 

“It will only be a moment,” Gaara assured them with a smile. “Afterward, you can show Lady (Y/n) to her quarters.” 

They bowed to him. 

“Very well,” Temari said. “Come on …”

They filed out, leaving only Chuuyou at the entryway, refusing to leave you.

This didn’t seem to bother Ikanago. “Come, come, take my seat!” she said, ushering you into it.

There were several members, only one who looked to be younger than fifty; you remembered Kankuro’s comments of old geezers.

“I am Ebizo.”

“I am Goza.”

More introduced themselves, becoming a mad soup of names you were not sure you would remember later — Ryusa, Sajo, Tojuro — though one of them did not introduce himself, engrossing in papers in front of him and refusing to look up. 

“Joseki!” Ikanago was scandalized. “Don’t be rude!”

“Merely overseeing the council,” he replied coolly.

“Lady (Y/n) will surely not mind one of us being silent,” Ebizo joked. “I am sure this is overwhelming for the young lady.”

“Oh no,” You assured. “Not at all …”

Gaara came to sit beside you and Ikanago squealed.

“Already acting like a couple, I see!” she said. “We’re all so honored to have you here. There’s much to discuss …”

-

“This is insane!” Temari paced the outer hall of the council room. “What are those fossils thinking, marrying Gaara off like this?”

“Let’s just try to be positive, Temari,” Kankuro encouraged, head following Temari to and fro. “(Y/n) seems nice enough. Maybe it’ll work out?”

“Kankuro’s right,” Baki said, leaning against the wall. “It is our responsibility to —“ 

“I don’t trust any of this.” Temari continued to stomp-pace. “Even if (Y/n) seems nice, our father warned me about Lord Boutoku; he’s crazy. And prideful. Great combination.”

Kankuro sighed. “Temari —“

“Not to mention his reputation for having a ferocious temper, and how quickly he puts dissenters to death,” Temari went on. “No matter how badly we’ve treated their village, it should’ve never come to this!”

“I agree, but the council assisted on this, Temari,” Baki pressed. “With your marriage to Shikamaru on the horizon and, ah,” Baki turned to Kankuro, “Kankuro … second in line, Lord Kazekage has to start thinking about the future. It’s time for him to consider a family. The line is in peril.”

“Our willingness to share resources with the Oasis village is a good idea,” Kankuro added. “I just hope they like each other. She even bought a cactus for him. That was sweet.”

“I’ll make sure that thing’s checked for any and all poisons we have recorded in the directory,” Temari snapped. “Or anything else.”

“Temari!”

Kankuro clicked his tongue. “That’s kinda harsh, don’t you think?” 

“Can’t be too careful.” Temari stopped at the window, arms crossed. “It’s not (Y/n) I don’t trust — it’s that tyrant of a father she has.” She sighed. “I’ll be staying in the sand for a few weeks; I just know something’s bound to go wrong. But at least Gaara probably won’t touch that cactus.”

-

Gaara caressed the cactus, avoiding the prickles while the council hounded you. 

“We’ll be forever grateful to Lord Boutoku for allowing us access to his oasis,” Ebizo said before hurrying to add, “After the two of you have married, of course.” 

“Have you ever seen it, Lady (Y/n)?” 

“Um” You said, “well, no, but —“

“Oh, surely she has!” 

“Lord Boutoku guards all his secrets. We will also have access to any hiden and secret techniques, correct?” 

“Um —“

“Surely we will!” Ikanago went on. “We’re blessed to have a lady of such renowned blood join our village!”

“This marriage will bear extraordinary fruit.”

“About that,” Gaara said, setting aside the cactus.

The room grew quiet as heads turned to him. 

“I am aware some women are given away against their will.” Gaara turned to you. “I would like to know if this arrangement is as consensual as I was told.” 

You blinked. You thought of your mother, given away to your lord father by your poverty-stricken grandparents. It was lucky for them that Father took a liking to her — and fell in love. But how many of those stories ended happily?

You were … flattered.

“Oh, Lord Kazekage, I’m sure —“

“I would like to have it confirmed by Lady (Y/n), Lady Ikanago,” Gaara cut her off.

The council waited for an answer.

“I … thank you, Lord Kazekage, for thinking of me,” You said. “But, yes. I am here because I want to be.”

And …

Gaara eyed you, and for a second you wondered if he using some sort of shinobi intuition to read the things you fought to conceal. He nodded seconds later, satisfied.

“That’s a lovely necklace, Lady (Y/n).” Ikanago was suddenly beside you, leaning forward to admire your pendant. “A gift from your lord father, I presume?” 

She came closer to inspect it. Your eyes widened, and you sat back and away from her. 

“I — I would appreciate a few moments alone with the Kazekage,” You said a little too loudly. “If you all wouldn’t mind?”

“That sounds reasonable,” Ebizo said. 

“Yes, of course!” Ikanago winked as though the two of you were in on a shared secret and followed the other elders out of the room. 

The door shut, and the two of you were alone.

All right, (Y/n), it’s time to woo him …

Surely, Father hadn’t expected you to try to poison him so soon. You would have to wait until later, when the two of you were alone — truly alone — perhaps after a day or a few. Intuition stilled your hand.  

Still, you could put on some charm.

You smiled gently. You reached for Gaara’s hand, inching toward his … 

His hand shied away.

“I …” He watched your hand slink away. “I apologize for their behavior. They are my elders and yet I feel as though sometimes they are much younger than me.” Gaara braved to look up at you. “I hope … you don’t think me cold.”

Taken aback, you shook your head. “No, not at all …”

“I would like to make it clear,” Gaara said, “after the party, I will have my ninja send all the promised resources to your village. Food, weapons, clothing … I would like to make up for how the Oasis has been treated.”

You sat, too stupefied for a timely answer. Your eyes flickered to the kanji on his forehead. This was the ruthless monster who had killed Hideo in cold blood? 

“That is … very kind of you, Lord Kazekage,” You murmured. 

“I am a man of my word.”

You raised your brows at him, words alluding you.

The doors creaked open.

“All right, Gaara,” Temari said, tone much less formal now the council had disbanded. “The two of you can get to know each other at the party. I’m sure (Y/n) would like to finally rest for today. Let me show her quarters.”

The two of you stood. 

“Very well,” Gaara said. He turned to you with a sort of finality. “There has been much bloodshed between our villages. All of it is unnecessary — as with most bloodshed.”

You pulled away a bit. Yes, all of it. You remembered Hideo in vivid detail. Maybe you were being misled? This was all an act.

“I agree,” you said coolly.

You could tell he knew you were offended somehow when he tilted his head. 

“I apologize,” he said. “I have —“

“I’ll … take my leave now, Lord Kazekage,” You said with a bow, ready to leave. 

Gaara composed himself enough for a slight smile. “Goodbye then. Until tonight.”

You nodded. “Yes.”

-

Temari, Kankuro, and Baki led you to a building adjacent to what could only be the Kazekage’s office. A modest palace in which you were happy to enter; the sandstorm had settled down, but it was much colder indoors. Baki bid the three of you farewell to care for other business, leaving you in the care of the siblings.

Temari led you to a single room and threw the doors open. 

“And this is your stay!”

You walked in. It was a large room with a canopy bed risen on a dais. You would have a window, and wide-leafed plants sat to and fro to liven up the space. There was a mat, a desk, a night stand … 

You turned to them, confused. “This isn’t a master bedroom.”

“No, it isn’t.” Temari followed your sentiment. “Is something wrong?” 

“Well, it’s just …” You faced the bed again. “I thought I would be sleeping with Lord Kazekage. Is this where he sleeps?”

Temari grew wide-eyed and stammering, her face red. Your comment had even gotten to Kankuro, whose cheeks tainted pink. 

“You — will be separate, of course,” Temari said. “Until after the wedding, that is.” 

You nodded to conceal your disappointment. So this would be trickier than you thought. The training your father had insisted you partake in included many things, none of them true espionage; your weak constitution meant you had never gotten an opportunity to train as a shinobi like your brother. Instead, one of your skills included how to kill a man in his sleep, in his private quarters and, if need be, during sex. Because of said “training” you weren’t a virgin, but you never considered yourself taken either. You thought it was … nice, in a way; your father had wanted you to know how to protect yourself, even if his methods had been a bit … questionable. But how would this work if you couldn’t get the Kazekage alone? You would have to sneak into his quarters, but that would only look more suspicious.

“I see,” You sighed. “Well … I certainly hope I can please the Kazekage when the time comes.” 

Temari looked ready to faint. Kankuro snickered into his knuckles. 

“I thank you for the room anyway,” You said, smiling. “I’m sure I’ll be comfortable here.”

Temari was recovering from her near heart attack, hand at her heart, to breathe out, “I’ll … send some servants to care for you, all right?” 

A tinge of sadness. You missed your maids from home who had mothered you so. They had hugged you and cried the day of your departure. You had teared up, too, not knowing when you would see them next. Or, if your mission failed, at all.

You couldn’t tell Temari and Kankuro that, of course. You could tell no one.

“Actually, if you don’t mind …” You said. “I’d like to rest a bit before this party tonight.”

“All right,”  Temari said. She held the door open for them to leave. “Don’t forget to shout if you need anything.”

You nodded in understanding. The door closed, and you sank into bed, turning over with a painful moan; how in the world were you meant to do this? 

The curtains became your friends; you spread them so they could hide you. You collapsed against the pillows, consumed with your thoughts and, eventually, fell into sleep.

-

Your ladies fastened you into your yukata for the evening before placing you in front of the mirror to admire yourself. 

“You look stunning, Lady (Y/n).”

The scarlet yukata was garnished with hints of beige and brown, thus your turquoise pendant served as a complimentary pop of color. It was fitting; you guessed. The colors were meaningful; you “belonged” to the Kazekage and his family.

You were nothing but a doll.

You thanked your servants and requested they leave you alone with the few minutes you had left to spare. You tinkered with your necklace — only to snatch your hand away, sure that wasn’t a good idea. What were you meant to do? Maybe after the party, everyone would be tired enough that you could make a move? Sneak something into his drink? No, it would be too soon. Who else would be blamed besides you?

A knock at the door. “Lady (Y/n). It’s time.”

The muffled voice was Baki’s. You went to the door, opened it to see him looking the same — flak jacket, sheet covering one eye … 

To your surprise, he smiled, and it brought his face to life. He offered you his hand. “You look beautiful.”

You hesitated in taking his hand. Baki lead you out into the dim hallway. Chuuyou, ever your shadow, and a few other oasis guards slipped farther into the darkness.

“Thank you.” You told Baki.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “I apologize for Kankuro and Temari; they’re siblings through and through, always bickering.”

“Oh, they don’t bother me!” 

“Still, I thought it would be best if I sent for you instead. They’re busy with Lord Kazekage.”

He led you out of the palace to a rowdier hall nearby the Kazekage’s office. The hall opened into the party — your breath caught in your chest. 

 It was a long, roofless courtyard. Lines strung with lanterns carried over the space and warded off a night patterned with stars. Nobles dined on tables lined with food and cupped their hands over ears to gossip. Jugglers and dancers amused the party-goers as music — rhythmic drums, frantic tambourines — blared. Despite the festive circumstances, there was something cold in the atmosphere — curt bows and distrustful stares — layering over the event like another coating of paint. 

Baki led you, your hand in his, through the courtyard. You blinked and an explosion of color flared behind your lids. 

“(Y/n)!”

You spun. Kankuro and Temari wove through the crowd. 

“Oh, you look great!” Temari’s voice was sickly sweet as she cupped her hands.

“Love the colors.” Kankuro took a swig from his glass as he admired your yukata. “Real subtle.”

“Our Lord Kazekage will be giving a speech at the end of the night,” Baki said.

“Oh, really?” You said.

“Yeah,” Kankuro said. “I think he’ll be able to give Lord Boutoku a run for his money in the oratory department.”

“But until then, it’ll just be all drinking and festivities.” Temari waved off it off while winking. “You know how it is.”

“Where is Gaara?” You said, looking around. You tensed when you realized your mistake. Lord Kazekage, your classless buffoon, Father reproached. But when no one corrected you, you relaxed.

“We’ll take you to him,” Kankuro said, and the four of you began to change direction.

You looked around; the Sand and Oasis ninja meshed together, acclimating to one another. You recognized council members throughout the crowd, mingling with nobles swilling wine.

“There she is!”

The girlish squeal made you look to your left to see a gaggle of girls storming toward you. They bombarded you with questions. You nearly stumbled over on your heel had Baki not caught you —

“She’s so pretty!” 

“When’s the wedding? Is it soon?”

“I wanted to marry the Kazekage! Me!” 

“Ladies!” Baki shouted over them, taking you by the shoulder. “One at a time!”

Ninja made beelines toward the scene, alarmed by the sudden swarm. The last thing you saw was the back of Baki’s head as he tried to control the young girls. You lost everyone. Disoriented, you sheltered behind a pillar. 

You breathed a sigh of relief — 

You sensed the presence of another. 

A brunette girl appeared from beyond the column, looking sobered. 

“Oh, hello!” You took note of her attire. “You’re a Sand ninja, aren’t you?” 

There was no emotion in her eyes to pair with her curt smile. “Hello, Lady (Y/n). I am Matsuri. I am — was … the Kazekage’s student.” She bowed. “Please to meet you.”

“Student?” You parroted. “It — it must’ve been an honor to study under the Kazekage himself …”

“Yes.” Her voice was hardly audible. “It … it was, I —“ Her words caught on something. “Excuse me, I must check on something.” 

“Oh, okay, I —“

Your sentence died as Matsuri hurried to rejoin the party’s fray. 

She dissolved into the crowd. Had you done something wrong? Something to offend? Stupid girl, Father barked.

You’ll be fine. Remember what father said about your nerves ruining things …

 You traipsed into the courtyard from another wing.

Scarlet hair caught your eye. Gaara. He sat in his Kazekage robes of white and turquoise at a long table foreseeing the festivities. 

You made your way toward him, only to run into someone new. 

“Ah, Lady (Y/n),” said the man. “We meet again.”

You recognized him. Joseki. 

You stiffened. “Hello, Elder Joseki.”

Joseki’s eyes narrowed. Disgust and something else — pity — marred his severe face.

“I hope you are enjoying yourself,” he said. “It’s a shame. A lady such as yourself being pawned to our Kazekage in this manner.”

You fought to neutralize your face. An elder, speaking ill of his village head? 

Joseki took advantage of your stunned silence to continue. “Let’s hope something of worth comes from this … arrangement.”

“I …” You began. “Elder, I don’t know what you mean.”

Joseki “hmphed” and turned away. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. I —“

“(Y/n)!” It was Kankuro, followed by Baki. “There you are.”

Joseki paused as they joined the two of you. 

“Have we missed something, Elder Joseki?” Baki said coolly. “Surely, Lady (Y/n) doesn’t want to discuss politics on such a joyous occasion.”

“I was just leaving, actually,” Joseki said before turning to you. “I hope you enjoy your time in the Sand, Lady (Y/n).”

“Thank you …” Your voice was weak as Joseki departed. 

Why did he say it like that? Like this is just a little vacation for me. Like I’m not here to stay?

“Don’t worry about Joseki,” Kankuro said, leading you away. “He’s not the biggest fan of Gaara.”

“Why?”

Kankuro opened his mouth, only to close it.

“Ah, there he is,” Baki said. 

Gaara tilted his kage hat up as other nobles surrounded him, demanding his attention. 

“Gaara!” Kankuro called. “I brought your fiance!”

Baki glared at Kankuro as he seated you by Gaara. 

“Thank you, Kankuro,” he said before surveying the group. “Where’s Temari?”

“Oh.” Kankuro’s tone was nonchalant. “She just went to take care of some business that came up.” 

Gaara nodded. “All right.”

“Let’s leave these two alone so they can get to know each other,” Kankuro whispered to Baki. 

An anger vein sprouted on Baki’s head. “Oh, really? Not so you can get drunk?”

“That’s preposterous!”

Baki grumbled as Kankuro led him away from the table. You turned to Gaara. The hat shrouded his features, leaving his eyes in a deep shade. 

“I hope you like your yukata,” he said.

You hung your head to feign bashfulness. “Thank you, Lord Kazekage.”

 “Though, I wish you had been allowed to choose one you preferred,” he said. 

“It’s all right,” You said. “I am a guest in your village. It would only be appropriate for me to don the colors of Suna and forgo my own for a while.”

“All right,” Gaara’s smile was slight, “(Y/n).”

The sound of your name on his lips threw you. Though you had tried to tell everyone to drop formality — and had simply rolled your eyes at Baki ignoring you — something about hearing your name cradled in Gaara’s deep baritone made your stomach whirl. 

“Kankuro told me a bit about you,” Gaara went on. “About how your mother … I am sorry.”

You paused in the spotlight. You fought the images that followed; your mother’s lifeless body, her throat slit open. “Th — thank you, Lor —“

“Gaara.”

“Thank you, Gaara.”

Gaara’s eyes cast down to the table. His voice fogged with memory as he said, “I also lost my mother. But it was after my birth. I was never able to know her.” 

“I’m sorry.” You reached for his hand, only to retreat, remembering last time. 

His eyes trailed up your hand. “I was … sad and confused for a long time. I was very different when I was a child. I didn’t know if I was truly loved by her — or by anyone.”

“That’s insane.” The sharpness in your tone surprised you, as did the passion. “All mothers love their children!”

Gaara paused, charmed. He nodded in agreement with you. “I now know I was always loved.” His smile was faint. “Your mother would be proud of you; you were brave to come here. Perhaps … perhaps it's time for me to be brave.”

He reached forward to take your hand. He gave it an imperceptible squeeze as his hand blanketed your own. A second or two and Gaara moved away, pink coloring his cheeks. 

You stared, speechless. This … was the monster Father sent you to kill? You had brushed it off as an act before; men had a way of transforming when they got a woman alone. But no one was around now besides party-goers too involved with themselves to care. 

Was he genuine? Could he really be this … sweet?

Kankuro returned to the table, giggling. 

“I can’t believe the lack of discipline you’re showing,” Temari stood cross-armed over him. “What if something bad happened just now and Gaara needed your help?”

“Gaara,” Kankuro hiccuped, “is doing just fine!” 

He raised his glass, and a servant took the hint, refilling Kankuro’s glass.

“Would anyone else care for refreshments?” the servant asked.

“Not him.” Temari smacked Kankuro over the head with her fan. “Thank you.”

“I would like some.” You raised your glass.

“I second that,” Gaara said. “I feel parched for some strange reason.”

The servant filled your cups and took his leave. You placed the rim of the glass to your lips, flicking your tongue out like a cat to test it, before taking a full sip. It was like no wine you had ever had before. You turned to Gaara who was taking several swigs. 

Wine, onigiri, slices of meat and soups came to the table and you all ate. You had no idea how hungry you were until you touched the soup to your lips, hardly waiting for it to become warm before you dove in as politely as you could. You watched Gaara finish his second glass of wine as Temari traded Kankuro’s liquor for water, throwing the red substance behind her back when he wasn’t looking. 

“Ah,” Gaara said. “You’ve gotten a bit of rice on your face.”

“Oh?” You said. “Oh, I’m —“

But Gaara had already risen a napkin to your chin, offering it awkwardly before taking it upon himself to wipe the grain away. Your eyes widened at the gesture. You could feel his finger through the cloth, brushing the piece away.

A squeal. “You can just hear the wedding bells!” 

Ikanago was approaching the table, flanked by two Sand shinobi. Gaara quickly drew away from you.

“Keep acting like that and you’ll never make it until after the wedding!” Ikanago winked and stumbled away, humming with her wineglass.

“See, Tem — hiccup — mari!” Kankuro said, cheeks tomato red now. “I’m not — hiccup — the only — hiccup — one — hiccup — drinking!”

Temari’s eyebrow twitched. “And that’s a good thing?”

“Temari,” Gaara said. “I think you should enjoy yourself as much as Kankuro. Why don’t you have a drink?”

Temari hesitated, fiddling with a napkin. “Um, well, Gaara, I …”

Gasps from the crowd. Party-goers split down the middle as dancers took to the center, cartwheeling, back-flipping, twirling batons. Already, the enthralled crowd clapped, whooping their approval. 

Temari smiled. “I guess this is where the real show starts.”

“A wedding gift from Naruto, I believe,” Gaara elaborated. 

Your neck nearly broke as you turned to Gaara. Naruto? The Hokage?

They’re close, remember?

One of the dancers stood right side up. He blew into the night air and flames burst from his mouth to light a torch. The crowd wooed nervously. 

“Don’t worry!” the dance said as his fellows gyrated around him. “I’m great with fire!” 

He resumed his dance. One of his dancers threw him another torch, which he lit and began to twirl and juggle. Another had a fan she used to whip and literally fan the flames.

“Whaaat? That’s way smaller than Temari’s.” Kankuro turned to you. “Temari’s got a huge fan that’s almost as big as her!” 

Your eyebrows raised.“Really?”

Temari dismissed the flattery. “It’s not that impressive.”

“She can glide on it!” 

You were amazed. “You have a giant fan you ride on?”

“It’s giant like her!”

Temari clocked Kankuro on the head as Gaara nodded to you. “It’s a part of her skill set as a shinobi.”

You pouted. “I envy you all; I wish I could’ve been a shinobi, but my father always said I was too weak for it…”

It was a second before Gaara changed the subject. “Kankuro told me also that you have a brother?” 

You raised your head. “Yes. Hideo …”

“I hope to meet him one day,” he said. “He will be my brother-in-law, after all.”

You sobered. Hideo’s kind face and gentle laugh sounded in your head — a face that was gone and a laugh that was gone because he was gone.

You cleared your throat. “Had a brother.”

The three of them went silent.

Gaara’s expression sobered. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled weakly. “I —“

A yelp. The dancer’s hair had caught on fire. His dancers flocked to him, patting his head to put it out as the crowd bellowed with laughter. 

“Oh gods,” You said, feeling second handed embarrassment for him. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Yes …” Gaara said sourly. “I’ll have to tell Naruto about this.”

“Yeah.” Kankuro took a drink. “Let’s not.” 

The fires died. The dancers carried their leader away from the courtyard. The four of you continued to bond, Kankuro and Temari explained to you the best they could how their abilities worked, but you could tell they withheld details out of fear of confusing you. It turned out Gaara could actually control sand and that on normal days he carried a gourd of it on his back. All of it sounded so fascinating to you.

“It’s really quite hot, isn’t it?” You said as Gaara traded his wine for water.

He paused. “Are you bothered by it? We could go indoors where it’s cooler.”

“No,” You said, charmed by his concern. Typical desert, really.  You’d think I’d be used to it. “I’m fine.” 

“Lord Kazekage.” Baki came over, whispered in his ear. “It’s time.”

Gaara nodded, and with a reassuring look to you and his siblings, departed from the table. He and Baki carried on to a small podium. You watched as those in the courtyard grew quiet when he ascended the steps. 

The command he has over them all. It was immediate. Of course, he was the Kazekage, but something about the gentle way they seemed to respect him struck you. Nothing like your lord father and the fear he inspired in his subjects. 

“Sand shinobi,” Gaara began. “Oasis shinobi. We are siblings in this desert, bonded by a common blood and heritage, and yet we have done nothing but fight one another, with the sand admittedly the aggressor in nearly every conflict. For too long, we have been more than willing to go to war against those we should call family. It ends today. With my marriage to the village head of the Oasis village, Lord Boutoku’s daughter, Lady (Y/n), we put this violent past behind us and strive for a better future. No longer will we squabble over resources both villages need in order to prosper. Instead, we shall share them. One family under one table.”

The crowd broke out in polite applause. You listened, stunned. Where was the quiet boy who could barely hold your hand a few moments ago? His words felt … honest. Heartfelt. Regretful. Hopeful.

“Told you.” Kankuro leaned into your side. “No offense, but he could definitely put your lord father to shame.”

He could, You admitted to yourself. 

“And so,” Gaara went on. “After this …”

He paused. You imagined it was all for the sake of theatrics, a simple beat to reign in the attention of the audience —

He stumbled.

Gasps. Murmurs of alarm. The air grew tight. 

“Something’s wrong,” Temari said.

Gaara caught himself, holding to the microphone with heavy-lidded eyes. 

What? But what happened? You hadn’t —

Panic seized you. Your mind reeled back. The cactus. What was it the botanist had said?

“Oh yes, some strands are incredibly toxic upon touch, oh yes … Us who handle them must all be very careful with the specimens we interact with, yes …”

Oh no.

Gaara stumbled again, only to tip over and faint.

“Gaara!” Temari and Kankuro cried in unison. They abandoned the table and teleported, in flashes, to the stage. 

Baki was there, intercepting it all, along with several other Sand shinobi as the courtyard erupted in panic.

All the while, you stood there, absorbing the chaos, knowing it was only a matter of time before heads turned to you.

[astrowaffles]

Stopping the JNT from being arrested: a comprehensive rulebook by Iwaizumi H.

General Audiences | Chaos, attempt at humour

1. A volleyballer in prison is a volleyballer who won't be volleyballing for a long, long time.

2. If you see Sakusa and Atsumu "sharing hand sanitizer" by holding hands, say nothing.

3. Just because Kageyama always catches him does not make Hinata less banned from jumping on our setter. If either of you are injured then we are in deep trouble.

4. Just because Oikawa is in the proximity does not mean you can send out search parties to find and assassinate him. See rule 1.

 OR: Whoever's idea it was to put the entire monster generation on one team, Iwaizumi hopes both sides of their pillow are warm tonight.

The JNT Rulebook

Failure to meet these rules will result in suspension from the Japanese Men's National Volleyball Team, if you aren't arrested first.

sincerely,

Iwaizumi H.

 1. A volleyballer in prison is a volleyballer who won't be volleyballing for a long, long time. 

       a) it's no use phoning home for bail. the last time we tried that, Akaashi spent the whole two minute phone call cackling. - Bokuto

 2. If you see Sakusa and Atsumu "sharing hand sanitizer" by holding hands, say nothing.

 3. Just because Kageyama always catches him does not make Hinata any less banned from jumping on our setter. If either of you are injured then we are in deep trouble.

 4. Just because Oikawa is in the proximity does not mean you can send out search parties to find and assassinate him. See rule 1.

 5. If Hoshiumi is seen one more time with Hinata on his shoulders to "bring revenge down on the heads of everyone over 5'8"" we will be forced to tape them both to the floor.

 6. Just because Kuroo said it does not mean it is true.

         a) No, you will not jump higher if you drink out of the JVA's special water bottles.

         b) No, Kuroo is not obligated to tell the whole truth "because we're buddies". Kuroo can leave out whatever bits he likes, which is why what he says is usually Not True.

 7. Gravity is real and if it wasn't, volleyball wouldn't work. 

 8. If you continue to rickroll Kageyama he will stop opening his emails out of sheer fear, and we need him to read his official communications. Stop it.

 9. Do not trust what Kenma says. Remember he is funding Kuroo's shenanigans.

 10. If the "your mom" jokes don't stop, Suna Rintarou will be put into isolation.

         a) "your brother" and "your twin" jokes are equally unacceptable, as our reserve setter appears to be on the verge of a mental breakdown.

         b) "your cousin" jokes are banned by proxy to prevent said reserve setter being murdered by Sakusa.

 11. Oikawa is trying to annoy you into revealing our strategies. If you feel you may fall into his trap, avoid him or fetch the athletic trainer (me), who will deal with him accordingly.

 12. Bokuto: one more rant about Akaashi and I will call him personally, and you can explain to him why you are slacking off at practice. 

 13. Taking pictures of Hoshiumi with a rat filter on is not funny.

 14. Throwing volleyballs is not an effective method of communication.

 15. Ridiculous service ace competitions are to be reserved for private practice. Atsumu does not need another black eye.

 16. Hinata and Kageyama are hereby banned from communicating with just eyebrow raising. It's creepy and Bokuto was very close to hiding himself in a cupboard yesterday.

         a) this also applies to talking in tandem.

         b) it also applies to finishing each other's sentences.

 17. Ushijima is the captain and if he says throwing flying squirrels out of the top floor window to "see if they actually fly" is a bad idea, then it is a bad idea.

 18. Atsumu is the reserve setter and therefore does not need be on court "in case Kageyama trips".

 19. If calling your old highschool captains is what it takes to get you to work, I will do so. 

 20. Personal questions about Oikawa are banned.

 21. Team Brazil players are banned from the Team Japan village. If I find any I will decapitate them. 

 22. Atsumu is not a tiny baby, he is 6'1''. Just because that makes him one of the smallest on the team does not make him short. Refrain from pushing him into insanity this early in the season.

 23. Arm wrestling is banned.

         a) I will always win and it is stupid to think that it will ever change. No, your lucky underwear does not make a difference, Bokuto.

 24. Either Yaku takes his voice down a notch or I take his kneecaps.

 25. If you were represented by a bird in highschool, you are hereby banned from making any important decisions.

         a) I am well aware this excludes our captain from making decisions. I stand by that.

 26. Kageyama cannot speak Italian so please stop harassing him for lessons.

 27. Eavesdropping on other teams is not banned but it is frowned upon by the Olympic committee. Don't get caught.

 28. Don't bother eavesdropping on Oikawa, it won't get us anywhere. I already know his main strategies anyway.

 29. Sakusa is a grown man, no you cannot adopt him.

 30. Meian Shugo is a lovely man who will not appreciate being dragged out to Tokyo. Jackals, keep your chaos away from me.

 31. One more heavy sigh from Komori will push me off the edge. Shut it.

 32. It scares everyone shitless when they hear high-pitched screams in the middle of the night. Someone buy Sakusa some pesticide.

         a) Bokuto you are not scared of spiders, there is no need for you to scream too.

 34. I appreciate that we have an A team and a B team, but we are all Team Japan, so the expressions "bench warmer", "loser", "second place", "spare parts" and "extra Kageyama" are all banned.

         a) no-one seems to care that we have two liberos as well as two setters. Targeting Atsumu is not tolerated. Keep it in your heads.

         b) yes, that includes Sakusa. He does not have a "bullying Atsumu pass", no matter what he says.

 35. Bringing a tape measure to games so you can find out who's the tallest person in the room and then attempting to fight them is definitely frowned upon. I am assigning Ushijima to guard Hoshiumi.

 36. I am well aware that Sakusa is MSBY's guard dog. Luckily the JNT is full of terrifying men over 6'0'', so he can stop growling whenever an "enemy" walks past.

 37. Speaking of height, Kageyama is far too big to be racing around gyms. In fact, so are all of you. Hinata, stop encouraging it.

 38. Barking at Team Argentina is not acceptable behaviour. It can actually be filed as a hate crime.

 39. Ushijima is the team ace. It is irrelevant if Sakusa was #1 ace in highschool or not.

         a) I would also take the complaints a lot more seriously if they were actually from anyone except Atsumu.

 40. Being gay does not provide legal protection.

         a) You cannot report a hate crime if the "hate crime" is Oikawa's existence.

         b) even if you could, Oikawa is also gay.

A03 | Exclusives | Tip Me | Commissions

[irisintheafterglow]

One-Shots

Sakusa Kiyoomi

long story short - atsumu gets tipsy and brings the attention off of you and omi for an interview

Need - childhood best friends to strangers to you're drunk in the back of the car and you cried like a baby coming home from the bar (college au!sakusa x you)

but he was so much fun (and he had such weird friends!) - meeting the jackals for the first time (sakusa x you)

Iwaizumi Hajime

in a world of boys, he's a gentleman - a creep walks up to the shake stand window. your favorite customer scares him off. (college au!iwaizumi x you)

like we're made of starlight - on the night of your birthday, you accompany hajime to the olympic team's new year's celebration, meeting the players and receiving a small surprise.

Blurbs/Drabbles

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Fake Wedding Date with Sakusa - your sister is pissed at your secret olympian boyfriend wedding date

Carnival Date with Sakusa - your boyfriend is competitive, but you didn't expect it to show up at the fair.

Just Olympic Athlete Partner Things

The Jackals' Holiday Party

meet ugly with assassin!sakusa

Miya Atsumu

Atsumu loses his mind when you stretch

Suna Rintaro

Ditch or Date Interview

Imagines/HCs

Sakusa hates bug bites

STREAMER!AU

streamer speed-date cast list (hcs)

streamer!sakusa leaves his mic on

Series Masterlists

coming soon!

[revasserium]

h a i k y u u m a s t e r l i s t

gen tags: all; fluff ; nsfw ; angst ; daydreams

k a r a s u n o

kageyama ; hinata ; tsukishima ; yamaguchi ; tanaka ; nishinoya ; asahi ; sugawara ; daichi ; ukai jr

t r a i n i n g c a m p

kuroo ; kenma ; yaku ; taketora ; inuoka ; bokuto ; akaashi

s p r i n g t o u r n a m e n t

oikawa ; iwaizumi ; ushijima ; shirabu ; tsutomu ; atsumu ; osamu ; suna ; kita

a l l s t a r s

sakusa; hoshiumi

h i g h l i g h t r e e l s

kageyama:

found among the ruins; fluff and angst, tobio character study

universal truths; fluff, an angel and a reaper fall in love

hinata:

punctuation; fluff, just fluff

length of daylight; fluff; post-timeskip

tsukishima:

the butterfly effect; fluff

hate; fluff and angst

oikawa:

love as one of the dead languages; fluff, assassin!au

so this is how the summer ends; angst, some fluff

iwaizumi:

grey gardens; fluff, soulmates!au

sakusa:

seductive danger; fluff

kita shinsuke:

100% love; fluff

kenma:

neverending daydreams; fluff and trippiness, kenma isn't a daydreamer...

[depressedhangrybitch]

So I just realized something about anbu and kishimotos blatant idiocy.

So... ANBU are supposed to be anonymous right??

And the tattoo or seal on their arm is supposed to unique identification of someone being in ANBU. And konoha ANBU have a fire sign seal on their arm to indicate their identity which makes it highly likely that this branding seal of fire is unique to konoha anbu because of konoha being in land of fire and thus all the other villages and their anbu will have seals (if any) based on their village.

Like Kumkum having a cloudas anbu symbol and suna having sand symbol etc. Something unique if u get my point.

Now, anbu are supposed to be anonymous like if u want to assassinate someone without it getting traced back to u u use the anbu. Basically anbu being the boogeyman of shinobis.

Now here comes the idiotic part:

If anbu are supposed to beanonymous then why do they show their unique fire like symbols on their arms to let every shinobi they meet put two and two together?

Look here kakashi and every anbus symbol is visible to the whole wide worldto know they are fire anbu and thus they have the potential to start a new shitshow given such volatile world.

And every anbus uniform is like that.

So the purpose for which anbu is made is funking useless if they are not hiding. Which is the whole purpose of being an anbu.

And I know y'all are going to say oh they could hide it or use jutsu to hide it but they don't actually do it in any episode where anbu is given some screen time except when they are changing their loks as a whole or pretending to be someone else.

So anbu are useless and I am mad once again at kishimoyos stupidity.

This was my rant and this is literally a 3 am thought so thank u for reading.

Until we meet again!!!

Syonara!!!