Tumgik
#assistant stuff or props master stuff in my thesis film and. that was it. this magical sign from the universe that it was indeed not lost an
Text
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
#setting everything up for filming to begin on tuesday#holy shit it’s been so long since i made movies and i’m feeling so healthy and good about it because i took a year long break from everythin#g for my health and before that i’d been in the throes of intense burnout for like… two consecutive years almost?#so i had to just.#stop.#everything.#and i got diagnosed and got meds for my adhd and yes up until very recently i had overwhelming anxiety about if i’d ever make movies again b#ecause it had been so long and i was still scared even though i felt better and what’s most heartbreaking but in kind of a positive way was#that all this time i’d still had that passion and desire and love and yearning for this. it never left that deep inside me place where it ha#d buried itself over four years ago when i’d realized this is the thing i want to do.#fun fact this was…#the first thing in my whole life that i Knew i wanted to do.#i hadn’t had genuine motivation towards anything in my life before.#my point is that only in the beginning of the month i was grieving not knowing if i’d lost this forever even though i knew i felt better.#but then my favorite director friend texted me the literal morning after my breakdown knowing nothing and was like hey do u wanna do costume#assistant stuff or props master stuff in my thesis film and. that was it. this magical sign from the universe that it was indeed not lost an#d that it was time to get back. and i did. and the fucking AMOUNT of wisdom and calm and just. improvement that happened inside me during my#break… it’s like……….#it’s crazy.#Taking A Break Actually Helps and Medication Actually Helps (that one was obvious). and You Gain Wisdom And Especially _Are Able To Implemen#t It_ after tough times and some of it is like… it feels like it just Happened inside me more than it feels like i’d knowingly mulled everyt#hing over uknow?#idfk. cool n fun.#it talks#janna’s film school diaries
1 note · View note